#mistah J

[sayain-princess-vegenta]

I miss some good old-fashion Joker X Harley.

Finding some good fic/fanart/thoughts or rants is like finding a needle in the haystack.

I'm tired just give me my puddin' and Harls back.

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

a jay has adopted my garden and I love him he is my confused baby friend

[airconditioningbob]

[juniortrooper69]

“The rat mind cannot resist the cheese even when the trap is obvious” -Dr J

[wispforever]

putting this message here to let a tumblr friend know that I noticed they deactivated. I hope you're alright, thanks for giving me all of the asks over the years. I'm glad you liked my art. just wanted to let you know I care and it mattered

[rxg1nald]

; he is so me

[harlequin-eldritchkin]

Source: Batman & Joker: The Deadly Duo

"[Harley Quinn] could stand as a reminder to young girls that they can be a bit unorthadox but still be loved, misunderstood but intelligent; that they hold the power to brighten [a] room with a joke or smile, and harness enough strength and courage to be their own hero."

-The Ascendance of Harley Quinn, edited by Shelly E. Barba and Joy M. Petrin, page 13.

[homicidalqueeen]

@chaoticjoke

[wanderingrustus]

Don't drink and drive. There is no circumstance in which this is acceptable. Tonight I mourn the loss of a good friend, because someone made the decision to do so.

Rest well, Mistah J. May you fly high and set the sky on fire, one last time...

[breannasfluff]

It’s a little past midnight when Danny hears someone scream. He drops the rubble he was collecting as Phantom and transforms back. He might be safer in ghost form, but any situation that has people screaming might also include someone reporting a ghost. 

Still, he trots toward the sound, keeping light on his feet. It means that as he rounds a corner and someone runs into him–hard–they both go down in a tangle of limbs.

“Shit shit shit shit!” His assailant scrambles off him. “Run!”

There are angry shouts and oh, Ancients, that’s a gang chasing this person, isn’t it? Danny’s up and booking after the person before he thinks twice. Only then does he clock what the person is wearing and nearly slides to a stop again. “Are you Harley Quinn?”

The outfit is familiar, even if the hair is currently a dark, dirty blonde. 

“None of your business!”

He’ll take that as a yes. 

“Why are they chasing you?”

Harley hisses as she slams into a wall, feet slipping on garbage as she tries to make a sharp turn. Danny lets himself drift just slightly into intangibility and relies on some minor flight to make the same turn. He doesn’t need to slam into a wall, thank you very much.

“Knew a Shell and was trying to find them, but got too deep. Mistah J doesn’t take kindly to people poking into his business. Even if he is in Arkham right now. Fuck.”

The last is because she’s run into a dead end. Danny skids to a halt next to her. While he could intangibly pull her through the building that blocks their way, it would raise a lot of questions he doesn’t want to deal with.

“Don’t you have a hammer?”

“Do I look like I’ve got a hammer stashed in my shirt?” Harley snaps back. 

It’s a fair point, but not one Danny cares about. He can’t let her get hurt. “Here.” Pulling out his taser, he shoves it in her hand. “Don’t lose it, I can’t afford another.”

“Wait, what about–” Her question is cut off as the gang rounds the corner.

“Nowhere to run,” one of them sneers. The men fan out, blocking any further chance of escape. 

Danny takes a slow breath and shakes out his arms. Ghost strength, don’t fail him now. 

“Think we’ve got a wannabe vigilante on our hands?”

Danny glares at them, settling into a defensive crouch. “Why don’t you come find out.”

Read the rest here!

[fandomnerd9602]

Vexing

Harley Quinn x Batman!Reader

Chasing down Harley Quinn was rarely easy or a walk in the park but for once, it wasn’t. You cornered Harley on the edge of your company’s tower. “Quinn” you stated gently, “come back here, walk towards me, please” “What’s the point, Batsy?” she replies in a surprisingly sad tone. “Mistah J left me. I-I got nothing.” “That’s not true, Harley” you try to talk her down, gently walk up to her with your arms raised to show you were no threat. Despite your bat suit, you did try to have a sense of compassion for the former Arkham doctor. You understood that she was as much a victim of the Joker as anyone. “I got nothing. I got no one” she turned around, looking to you. Her face shows her ruined makeup, her eyeliner running from her tears. “I got no friends, Batsy” “I’ll be your friend” you take her gently by the shoulders “I’m quite vexing ya know” she gives you a nervous little laugh “You I can handle” you take off your cape and wrap it around her, guiding down from the tower and into a cop car. “Promise me you’ll call?” she asks as you guide her into the car “I’ll visit” you give her a little weary smile, quite rare from the dark knight of Gotham. Harley kisses the car window, leaving a lipstick stain on the window. From her point of view, it was right over your mouth. Over the next few months, you were there to visit her every week. Surprisingly talking with the dark knight was Harley’s favorite part of the week. As the billionaire philanthropist of Gotham, you made sure that Harley got the help she needed and you also went the extra step of providing multiple charity and outreach programs to help the citizens of your hometown. Eventually, the doctors of Arkham declared Harley Quinn to be clinically sane. She was released back on the streets. And her favorite Bat was there to pick her up. You guided her into your Batmobile, “I got an apartment set up for you, call in a favor to an old friend” “You know what I want, Batsy?” she asked you “What?” “I wanna see your face…(Y/N)” she states softly before explaining, “it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to put two and two together.” She gives you a wink. “Harley” she places a finger over your mouth. “Please. I wanna see my only friend” You gently remove your cowl and expose your face to Quinn in the safety of your Batmobile. Harley giggles, “I knew it. I knew you were that good looking do-gooder” “This stays between us” Harley zips her lip and crosses her heart, “friends promise.” “Good.” you try to put your mask back on but Harley stops you. “Now for my secret” she gives you a little smirk “Okay?” “I always had a thing for you. Mind if i be all yours?” she undoes her seatbelt, sliding into your lap. You put a gentle hand on her shoulder and hip “I only work on the side of justice” “I promise I’ll be the best partner in crime fighting / lover ever” she crosses her heart again. “Is your car self driving?” “Its a prototype but yes. Why?” She grabs your face, “Good” And with that she pulls you into a fiery kiss. This was gonna be difficult to explain to the league but they’d eventually come around. Who knew someone so vexing could also be so loving?

[homicidalqueeen]

@chaoticjoke

Heath Ledger as Joker for The Dark Knight

2008

[indecisivecosplayer]

Jason created the batjokes ship to get back at Bruce for not killing the Joker.

Bruce: Jason, you know I can't kill him. I don't...

Jason: Of course you can't. He's your other half, your soulmate, your secret lover, the bottom to your top, the death to your justice, your Mistah J, your ...

He writes the first fanfic and sends it to the justice league.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Yandere Harley Quinn With Hero Darling

Now that depends on who her darling is, but if her darling is a hero, she'd be more passive and less extreme compared to if you were a villain. In regards to her treatment towards those who interfere with your happiness, she would likely get rid of those interfering parties by either killing them or permanently disabling them. Like, if some girl tried to make a move on you and try to steal you away from her, she would definitely not be happy.

She would also make sure she's by your side all the time. If you got hurt or injured somehow, she’d be there with you and be extra gentle and attentive, giving you all the care and love you need to recover. She’d also probably become a bit overprotective, especially of you being a hero who constantly deals with dangerous situations.

She would also be pretty clingy toward you, always wanting to stay close to you and hating it whenever you’re not with her. She would also get insanely jealous anytime someone else tried to get your attention or showed any kind of affection towards them.

She would constantly want to shower you with affection, whether it’s through gifts, cuddles, or just telling you how much she loves you. She would go out of her way to make you happy, and if you were upset or hurt in any way, she would immediately try to comfort you and make sure you were okay. If someone were to hurt you, she would not hesitate to fight back and get revenge.

She would be a constant thorn in your side, always causing chaos and committing crimes just to get your attention and show up on your radar. She would also have no problem using underhanded tactics and mind games to try and get you to fall for her. And she would definitely toy with you, taunting you and pushing your buttons just to see how far she can push you before you snap.

If any villain dared to mess with her darling, she would not hesitate to shut them down and make sure they never come near you again. No one tries to mess with her darling without getting a taste of her mallet.

Well, if you had a secret identity where no one else knows that you’re a hero, that would actually be pretty convenient for her. She could continue her villainous ways without fear of you coming after her since you wouldn’t know she was the one causing all the trouble. And if you ever find out about her villainous activities and try to confront her about it, she’d probably just play dumb and act like she had no idea what you’re talking about.

Oh, she would definitely try to tempt you to the dark side. After all, who wouldn’t want to see their beloved darling all dressed up in black and kicking butt alongside her? She would definitely be very persuasive and seductive in trying to get you to join her, and she would make sure to play up how much fun it would be to team up with her and unleash your inner badness together.

No way would she give up her villainous ways for any old hero. She loves the thrill of causing chaos and being naughty way too much. However, if you ever tried to convince her to give up her life of crime, she would definitely put up a tough fight and resist. But deep down, she might have a soft spot for you and might think about giving up being a villain, just a little bit.

You could go on a wild car chase through the city, complete with a thrilling getaway and maybe even a daring helicopter escape. Or you could do some good old-fashioned breaking and entering, like robbing a bank together or stealing some precious jewels from a museum. For quieter dates, you could always go on a romantic candlelit rooftop dinner or a late-night movie marathon.

Ol’ Mistah J definitely wouldn’t be happy about it. He’s used to being the center of her attention and having her all to himself. If he found out she was obsessed with someone other than him, he would get very angry and jealous. He would probably try to get rid of you by any means necessary, just to make sure she stayed loyal to him and no one else.

Around others, she usually puts on her usual ditzy and carefree persona, acting like she doesn’t have a care in the world. She loves putting on a show and acting like a bimbo, even though she has a wicked intelligent mind of her own. But when she's around you, she lets her guard down and be herself, showing you a side of her that not many people get to see. She’d be more serious and attentive, and definitely more affectionate and clingy towards you.

She would definitely love to give rewards to you whenever you do something she likes or impresses her. For example, if you manage to take down a group of her henchmen or foil one of her schemes, she would give you a big hug and kiss as a reward. Or if you do something adorable like bring her pancakes or some other treat, she might give you a little something extra as a treat.

If you don't behave or goes against her wishes, you can definitely expect some pretty harsh punishments from her. She would probably start with a lecture and a good old-fashioned scolding to let you know you messed up. But depending on how badly you behaved, she might have to resort to some more… creative methods of punishment. Like, if you tried to leave her or go off on your own, she would probably chain you up so you couldn't go anywhere or do anything without her permission.

Oh, I'm sure there would be plenty of arguments and disagreements between you, especially since you both have very strong personalities. She would probably try to use her usual charm and seductive tactics to win any arguments, even resorting to some underhanded moves like trying to distract you with some sexy outfits or suggestive glances. But if that doesn't work and you do end up in a physical fight, she wouldn't hold back and would definitely give you a good thrashing although she wouldn't try to hurt you too badly or anything like that.

If you tried to break up with her and leave, she would not take it well at all. She would probably start out by pleading and begging you to stay, even using some emotional manipulation tactics to try and make you feel guilty for leaving her. But if that didn't work and you still insisted on leaving, she would probably turn into a complete mess. She would cry and scream and throw a major tantrum, trying to do whatever she could to make you stay with her.

She would absolutely love to marry her darling. She would probably go all out and plan a grand, over-the-top wedding, complete with a big white dress, fancy decorations, and all of her friends and family in attendance. And after the wedding, she would definitely want to go on a luxurious honeymoon, somewhere exotic and far away from Gotham. Maybe a tropical island or a fancy city like Paris or Rome.

She would be over the moon if she had children with you. She would definitely want to be a mother someday. And if you did have kids, she would make sure to spoil them rotten and give them everything they could ever want or need. She would also make sure to teach them all about being a good villain and how to cause chaos and mayhem. But of course, she would also make sure to be a loving and supportive parent and be there to give them hugs and kisses anytime they needed it.

If you didn't want kids, that would definitely be a heart-breaker. She would desperately want to have at least a few little ones running around, causing trouble, and being adorable. She would probably try to convince you to change your mind, using all kinds of sweet talk and emotional manipulation to make you see how wonderful it would be to have a family together.

"Darling, you don't understand how much you mean to me. I can't imagine my life without you in it. You're like a ray of sunshine that lights up my dark world, and I need you more than anything else. So please, please never leave me. I don't know what I would do without you. You're everything to me."

Kissing - She fucking adores kissing. Whether it's a passionate, tongues twining session or just a simple peck on the lips, it always sets the mood right for her.

Oral fixation - She loves using her mouth to please you, whether it's through kissing, licking, sucking, or any combination thereof. The feeling of control over their pleasure is intoxicating.

Exhibitionism - Engaging in lewd acts in front of other people; being watched while losing herself in debauchery fuels her like nothing else could do.

Body worship - She loves paying attention to details like curves, muscles, lines, etc. There's something fascinating about studying one’s form before proceeding to show devotion through her actions.

Roleplaying - Whether it's dressing up as different characters or engaging in fantasy scenarios, the opportunity to step into a new persona during sex is a major turn-on for her.

[homicidalqueeen]

[text:] Y U gotta be like that? >:( [text:] Fine I'll make u a deal [text:] Pizza, Barbie and then we go and see Oppenheimer?

@chaoticjoke

[text:] How old r u? 5? [text:] Not my idea of fun.

[xxonceuponafuckxx]

@bxtbxys:

“I’m bankin’ on that, sweet cheeks. Now keep quiet.” He grabbed her by her hair and pulled back as he had taken his hard cock and pushed it up Harley’s tight little pussy. “Only noise I wanna hear you making is for me to keep fuckin’ you.”

Harley giggled, whining and moaning as he fucked her. She had warned him, knowing that the Joker would not be happy that someone had touched his little plaything. That was all she could really do. Her wrists were cuffed behind her back and he was pressing her against the wall. She was flexible, but even she couldn't do anything in such a tight space. Harley was used to being fucked roughly, having her hair pulled and being told to shut up. It didn't hurt her feelings, just surprised her. She expected that from other villains, not from a bat. But, then she realized that she remembered this bat. "Hey... Ain't ya the one that Mistah J put down a while back?"