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rubyleaf · 1 year ago

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Went through my blog again for the funsies and discovered an old, old tag game from 2016. And boy, am I shaking my head at it. Not only is 17-year-old me hilariously and stubbornly convinced she's straight, she's also very self-deprecating and generally not in a good place.

So I thought: why not answer these questions again, over seven years later, just to see how things have changed?

So here goes. The update.

MOST RECENT:

Drink: Water! I have a glass next to me right now and I'm staying nice and hydrated :) Phone call: Mom, earlier this afternoon, to make sure I'm still healthy and haven't died from acute Moved Out And Living Unsupervised Disease. Shockingly, I'm alive and well. Text: Dad, joking about the Berlin lioness boar thing. I still refuse to believe it was a boar BTW. I don't know what it was, but those pictures do NOT look like a boar.

Song you listened to: Saosin – "You're Not Alone" Time you cried: You know, I genuinely don't remember. Might've been weeks ago. I barely cry anymore these days, except from laughter or the occasional tearing up over a heartwarming scene in a show.

Dated someone twice: No, and unless the circumstances were very special, I wouldn't. If the ship has sailed, it has sailed for a reason. Been cheated on: Single, thriving, in my lane, cannot be cheated on if I don't have a partner. Peace and love on Planet Earth. Lost someone special: Lost touch with many friends over the years. Staying in touch is still hard. But honestly, some of them turned out to not be that special after all in the first place and a lot have stayed too, so really, it's fine. Been depressed: Nah. Been drunk and thrown up: Still don't like alcohol, still don't drink ✌️ Your three favourite colours: Purple! And pink, and the third one…maybe red!

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: So many. So so many. Fallen out of love: Yep! Laughed until you cried: Just this week alone! Met someone who changed you: I think so! Found out who your true friends are: Yes. And to the people who turned out not to be—thanks for making it easier to watch you leave right now. Found out someone’s talking about you: In the "bringing up my existence" way? Yes. Badly? No—someone probably did, but not my problem.

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: What Facebook? Do you have any pets: Not at the moment. Hard to keep any in a dorm room. I'd like to maybe get a small dog someday though! Do you want to change your name: Not anymore. When I was little I used to hate my name because everyone kept misspelling or mispronouncing it, but now I like it even if people still get it wrong all the time. Sometimes it still feels weird and othering, in an irrational sort of way, but I can't imagine myself being called anything else. What did you do for your last birthday: Had drinks with some people from my orientation group in one guy's dorm apartment. Casually came out as bi over a game of Never Have I Ever. Wound up at a party even though I had an 8:30 AM class the next morning. Zero regrets. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sitting on my bed and hitting play on the brand-new Meet Me @ the Altar song that dropped last night!!! Name something you can’t wait for: MM@TA EU tour in October! I've been obsessed with them for two years and finally they come here to play some shows and the first time I saw the announcement I legit busted a lip in my excitement. Unfortunately not a hyperbole.

Last time you saw your mum: Last time I visited home—early May I think? What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Better executive functions so I struggle less with getting stuff done, especially uni stuff and household chores. Currently trying to do something about that, actually! If I'm really lucky I might get an ADHD diagnosis in the foreseeable future and maybe meds…? What are you listening to rn: Fall Out Boy – "We Didn't Start the Fire" Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Often. It's quite a common name where I live! What’s getting on your nerves rn: One word: THESIS. Which I for some reason struggle to do anything about. Blood type: Still unknown! Nickname: Several shorter forms of my civilian name. On here, Ruby. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Pronouns: she/her Favourite tv show: At the moment: ATLA (and Legend of Korra), Ted Lasso, Good Omens. Probably more I'm forgetting. High school: Graduated in 2016! College: In my Masters! I have an undergraduate degree in law now :D Long or short hair: Long, down to my hips. I used to have short hair as a kid, but I’ve always wanted long hair. Height: 159 cm or 5′2.5′’. Do you have a crush on someone: I try to tell myself that no, I'm just very fond of the person. Platonically. What do you like about yourself: I'm creative and adaptable! I'm good at winging it when the situation requires it, and I usually get things figured out one way or another. I'm a hype woman for my friends, and I like the way I can find joy and excitement in all corners of life. Also, not to toot my own horn but I'm really proud of my style right now! Right or left handed: Right-handed. First surgery: None. Piercing: None. First best friend: Probably Rebecca, in first grade. It’s a shame I moved away, I wonder what she’s doing now. First sport you joined: Ballet, when I was five or six. Kept doing it until early fifth grade, then changed to horseback riding. First vacation: Probably to my grandparents’ vacation home somewhere at the North Sea. Don’t remember a thing though, I was one or something.

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: Nothing. Drinking: Water, still! I’m about to: Hopefully write a bit more for the mystery project 👀 Listening to: Meet Me @ the Altar – "Give It Up"

WANT:

Kids: Yes, eventually. I'd like a stable partner first (although if push comes to shove I wouldn't mind raising my kids solo), and most importantly I'd like to be my own person for a couple of years and not be bound by duty to everyone else. Travel, explore the world and myself, get all that out of my system so I can truly go into motherhood with no regrets. Get married: Yes, if I find the right person to do it with. Career: Study law and work for the EU or an NGO.

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes. I don't pay much attention to lips outside of someone having a cute smile! Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice, but I still prefer hugs! Taller or shorter: IDGAF. I still love my tall lanky noodle men, but I'm not picky. With women, even less so. Girl is taller than me? Awesome, great for being held. Shorter than me? CUTE. Older or younger: Around my age, rest doesn't matter. I'm at an age where anything between 20-30 is fair game, but any younger or older and it gets creepy. Romantic or spontaneous: A mixture of both. Nice stomach or nice arms: If the person is nice, their body will be nice too. It's an automatic process. I don't make the rules. Sensitive or loud: A combination of both! Troublemaker or hesitant: Secret third thing where they're chaotic but also too shy to really make a move.

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Does "someone I talked to all evening but didn't know before that and didn't meet again afterwards" count? Drank liquor: Tried a bit, same as everybody. Found it nasty. Didn't try again. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't have any to lose. (Given the way I've been treating my eyes: yet?) Had sex on the first date: I'm asexual and I refuse. Broke someone’s heart: Yes, and let's leave it at that. Turned someone down: I'm a woman existing in public. Having to turn down random men is a recurring part of my experience. Cried when someone died: Not really—I seem to shut down and go blank more than anything else. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I've learned that everyone processes grief and loss differently and it doesn't mean I care less. Fallen for a friend: Yes, repeatedly, it has yet to end well, and it will probably happen again.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Mostly yes. There are some things I need help with before I can unlock my full potential, but one thing I've learned is that I always manage in the end. And once I get proper help, I have no doubt I'll be just fine. Miracles: I don't like to rely on them, but I do believe that unlikely good things can and do happen. Love at first sight: Not for myself, I need to get to know a person before I fall for them. I do believe in attraction at first sight though. Heaven: It's a nice thought, but whether or not it exists doesn't matter to me. Our task in life is the same regardless: try to be kind and treat others well and hopefully leave the world a slightly better place. Santa Claus: No, and never really have. My parents never claimed he was real; my Christmas presents always came from the family that visited on Christmas Eve. Kissing on a first date: Did it once, it was okay. I think it's one of those "take it or leave it" things—if the chemistry is right, sure, go for it, but it's definitely not for everyone in every situation.

#warning: VERY long post behind the cut #but also: healing! improvement! look at her; she's okay now!#(mostly—getting there)#personal #I'm just sayin'

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filthforfriends · 2 years ago

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We have to talk about these MÅ covers

On February 17th 2018, Måneskin performed at the Afterlife Live Club in Ponte San Giovanni. They played a medley of "Prisoner" by James Arthur and "Watch Me" by Jaden Smith. Måneskin performed the first minute and 42 seconds of "Watch Me." That section of the song includes the n-word twice and Damiano said it both times.

“Watch Me” starts at 2:26. The n-word is said at 2:43 and 3:44.

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Below are the lyrics from the section Måneskin performed. Since Damiano defers from them, I’ve put all the lyrics he recites as they were written in bold.

Watch me (x3) do this / Watch me (x3) do this

Can't find me up up and away / I give a fuck bout your wave / My n@#$% I surf everyday / Drownin' my soul in the basement, aye / I ain't got much in the bank / I got a lot I could say / Tied up with goddesses, hey / I hope you forgive my mistakes

Yeah, ride around with a renegade / You should take a seat, save your energy / I try to heal the gods with a band-aid / And in time of need, you call your enemies

I landed in Ibiza and I need a visa / I ain't playin' with you this no Mamma Mia / Need a Hottie Tottie with a body, yeah / I just spit the knowledge then I'm out of here

That's what they yell when we come around / (Yeah!) This is your town? Well we run it now / (Yeah!) How big is your army, a hunnit thou? / (Yeah!) If you want the rain then we comin' down

I stumbled it cool / I'm awesome, kick flip in the Carsons / We should run for the pool / I got the fire flow, the department exhausted / I owe nothing to you / I'm in the Tahoe, man you making me nauseous / Pullin up with the crew / You such a hypebeast, man you making me vomit

Look / Watch me (x3) do this / It's always been more than the music / You riding waves in the back of my cruise ship

Look, watch me / Watch me (x2) do this / Since 2012 I've been the coolest / If you do not get it, my n@#$% you foolish

That's what they yell when we come around / (Yeah!) This is your town? Well we run it now / (Yeah!) How big is your army, a hunnit thou? / (Yeah!) If you want the rain then we comin' down

The Context:

This video was filmed during the first concert of Måneskin’s first tour. Creatively named Tour 2018, it ran from February to June. It's also been referred to as the "covers tour" or "X factor tour." For the sake of this post, I'm ignoring TV and radio gigs because those performances only have one or two songs. The only relevant dates are actual concerts (because the entire setlist was performed).

I found this image of the Tour 2018 setlist on Twitter. I can't locate its source, but I assume it was posted by Maneskin then deleted because of spelling errors. "Watch Me" is misspelled "Eatch Me," (hence the typo in the video title.) This spelling error is why theres conveniently no record of "Watch Me" being in a Maneskin setlist.

The setlist from the Afterlife Live Club 2/17/18 falsely credits "Catch Me" by Yellow Claw instead of "Watch Me" by Jaden Smith. As we can see in the video, Damiano clearly isn't singing the lyrics to "Catch Me." Because this was a relatively small tour, there are only setlists available for four other dates. Casa della Musica 2/24/18, The Cage Theatre 3/8/18, Vox Club 3/11/18, Santeria Toscana 31 4/20/18. Since the subsequent setlists were based on the first one, each make the same mistake of crediting "Catch Me" by Yellow Claw instead of "Watch Me" by Jaden Smith.

With so little evidence, I can't definitively say how many times Damiano used the n-word, but I can make an educated guess. I estimate Maneskin performed “Watch Me” about 22 times from February to April of 2018 on the following dates: Ponte San Giovanni 2/17/18, Naples 2/24/18, Modugno 2/25/18, Palermo 3/2/18, Catania 3/3/18, Livorno 3/8/18, Florence 3/9/18, Nonantola 3/11/18, Bologna 3/15/18 & 3/17/18, Parma 3/18/18, Milan 3/21/18 & 3/23/18 & 3/25/18 & 4/20/18, Roncade 3/24/18, Bassano Del Grappa 3/26/18, Turin 3/30/18, Genoa 3/31/18, Rome 4/6/18 & 4/7/18 & 4/22/18. Unless he got educated, that'd mean Damiano said the n-word 44 times in about two months.

Remember that Maneskin profited off this tour where the n-word was sang twice a night. They made their first album and started their career with that money.

Four Years Later:

"Watch Me" wasn't the end of Maneskin using racial slurs in their covers. Damiano sings the c-slur twice in Manskin's cover of "Black Skinhead" by Kanye West, but avoids the n-word. This means Maneskin are aware that "Watch Me" was a mistake, but can't be fucking bothered to didn't google a list of racial slurs when covering another Black artist.

The c-slur is said at 1:05 and 1:21.

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Maneskin performed "Black Skinhead" from 2019 to 2021. Above is the final rendition on June 16th during a TikTok livestream from Berlin. Damiano received minor backlash for using the c-slur on that occasion and issued an apology on Twitter. Notably, Maneskin have never acknowledged using the n-word in "Watch Me." Hypothetically, that could lead a person to believe that Damiano's primary motivation for apologizing for using the c-slur was that he got called out. Considering his support for Black Lives Matter, the perception that Damiano prioritizes marketability over genuine remorse looks like some lazy ass, token allyship that only a white dude would get congratulated for hypocritical.

Maneskin performed an abridged version of "Black Skinhead," from beginning to 2:16 on the original track. Let's take a close look at which lyrics Damiano censored.

For my theme song / My leather black jeans on / My by any means on🔎Reference to Malcolm X’s speech at the OAAU’s founding, where he repeats that Afro-Americans will find equality in the following sectors: 1. Establishment 2. Self-defense 3. Education 4. Politics & Economics 5. Social “by any means necessary.”

Pardon, I'm getting my scream on / Enter the kingdom / But watch who you bring home / They see a black man with a white woman / At the top floor they gone come to kill King Kong🔎 Originating with slave traders, there is a long history of Black Americans being characterized as apes. The dehumanization is used to justify Black suffering. Notice the initials KKK, as in Klu Klux Klan, which are also present in the titles alternative spelling, "BLKKK SKKKNHEAD."

Middle America packed in / Came to see me in my Black skin 🔎In this version Damiano avoids the phrase "in my Black skin," but in past performances he sang the lyric.

Number one question they asking / Fuck every question you asking / If I don't get ran out by Catholics / Here come some conservative Baptists / Claiming I'm overreacting / Like them black kids in Chiraq bitch 🔎 “Chiraq” is a reference to the extremely high homicide rate in Chicago. According to BBC, more Americans have been killed in Chicago than in Iraq and Afghanistan combined. Most victims are young Black men.

Four in the morning, and I'm zoning / They say / I'm possessed, it's an omen / I keep it 300, like the Romans / 300 bitches, where's the Trojans? / Baby we living in the moment / I've been a menace for the longest / But I ain't finished, I'm devoted / And you know it, and you know it

So follow me up cause this shit's about to go / I'm doing 500, I'm outta control / But there's nowhere to go / And there's no way to slow / If I knew what I knew in the past / I would've been blacked out on your ass 🔎In this case, "blacked out" isn't necessarily a racialized term. It refers to a dramatic moment of anger so intense that the speaker doesn't remember their actions.

Stop all that c*%& shit 🔎This term comes from C*%& Songs, which were played at minstrel shows. Kanye is telling someone to stop acting out a caricature of blackness for the consumption of white people.

Early morning cartoon shit / This is that goon shit / Fuck up your whole afternoon shit / I'm aware I'm a wolf / Soon as the moon hit / I'm aware I'm a king / Back out the tomb bitch / Black out the room, bitch 🔎 Damiano repeats the line above to avoid singing this lyric, which actually isn't offensive. In this case, "black out" refers to making a room completely dark by closing curtains etc.

Stop all that c*%& shit / These n@#$%* ain't doin' shit (x2) / Come on homie what happened / You n@#$%* ain't breathing you gasping / These n@#$%* ain't ready for action / (Ready) Ready for action (Action)

In Conclusion:

Damiano censored each lyric with the word "black" to avoid being offensive. In addition to those three instances, the world "black" is repeated in the background 14 times. If Damiano thinks it's offensive to say the word "black" in a song that contains it 17 times, is titled "Black Skinhead," and is about the Black experience, he shouldn't be singing it at all. He censored lyrics that don't reference race because he doesn't know what the song is about. That ignorance is the same reason he didn't know that c*%& is a slur.

Yes, Maneskin should have educated themselves about a song they didn't understand with words they didn't recognize before performing it in front of thousands. Yes, they should have learned their lesson since racism is literally the consequence. Yes, this mistake is inexcusable from BLM allies. However, in reality, Maneskin shouldn't have performed "Black Skinhead" at all. The fact that this song wasn't made for white people's consumption is obvious from the inflammatory title. Lyrically, Kanye is describing his nuanced and complex lived experience as a Black American surviving the intersection of oppressive colonialist forces. "Watch Me" may not have substantive lyrics, but "Black Skinhead" and its subject matter is not to be repackaged into a catchy little rock song by four white Europeans for their mostly white fanbase. It's not our cultural experience and it's not intended to be adopted it as such. I don't know how else to explain it.

"we have artists who are geniuses...When you and I begin to support the black artists, then the black artists can play that black role...when he can sing and dance to please black men, he sings a different song and he dances a different step. When we get together, we’ve got a step all our own. We have a step that nobody can do but us, because we have a reason for doing it that nobody can understand but us."

-Malcolm X

#maneskin #måneskin #damiano david

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okari-le · 14 days ago

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Beneath The Depths Of Monshire

Long ago before time was given a name, when dinosaurs, trees, and sharks didn’t exist, there always lived certain creatures that no longer exist in today's life.

The planet we found was far from this one we reside on, it was light years away, still developing water, but it wasn’t just water, it was blood-like.

We sent researchers, scientists, and explorers, anyone that volunteered to find history and specimens of this unknown planet, it was the size of one of Jupiter’s moons or even Saturn’s moons, but it also acted as a moon itself with no orbiting planet to focus on.

It was alone with a friend nearby, it was a ship isolated from human contact with surviving people going insane, it was all a game when we fell within the depths of its forbidden oceanic blood.

Drowning underneath the waters of blood, and of this ocean, we’ll surely never survive.

But who would surely know when inside the ocean’s blood, what type of creatures lie underneath its waves, who would dare explore it?

Us, we work for a company when we were at our lowest, convicts we were.

Now turned to explorers to gain our freedom and a life.

My name is something you’ll never find, when pages turn to finalize the truth, when the ocean tides uncover its extent.

When dates turn to a memory, like the stars of the future, The Earth is rid of human life, when our species spread across the fading stars.

Now we discover the secrets of Monshire turned to dark, ripped from the soul to now rest in the endless tides of uncertain death.

January 19, 2024 - Stranded

As we waited at the table, cake ready with birthday decorations up, the Medic finally showed as we surprised him with a cheer, with Jason trying his best to smile, cranky person but who cared.

I say my happy birthdays to Kanji with a smile. I hugged him so tightly that Anika had to restrain me. I pouted and whined like a dog because Anika stated I would choke his waist.

I began to rant about going back home with my family, and being close to Moonshire i misspelled bluntly, Anika corrected me of course. She told me it was Monshire, it was named after a French person who found it, I don't know.

So now I rest in bed, with my bunkmate, The Captain, Jonathan. Lovely champ, british as well, mostly brings the plans to come.

As I succumb to my slumber, dreams of my family enjoying their lives whilst I rot on this stupid ship away from human life.

I woke up to the sounds of alarms, the captain was gone, maybe at the cockpit.

I found out that we were in a collision with an Asteroid, the scariest thing I've heard, then before I could think, the ship went dark, my cat Mikey curled in my lap as I tried finding comfort.

How could one day be so bad? I should check on the captain, the asteroid must’ve hit us badly or something.

I pondered about my surroundings. I memorized the layout of the ship, but it was harder than ever because due to the crash, we were getting flung here and there, things getting out of hand as we were as well hit by Zero Gravity.

I floated to the cockpit, navigating to it, but I saw flames lighting it, the emergency cream filling the openings that could have killed us without them.

But all I could think of was Jonathan being severely wounded by the flames.

January 30, 2024 - My Fears

While I was growing up in my childhood home, I was always afraid of being alone and the dark, weird? Yeah, it was, because I am a researcher, deep in space near a weird planet that acts like a moon with a blood ocean instead.

Now it's dark as the shadows that follow beneath us, the Captain can barely speak, all I hear from within the Medbay is the low growling of an animal like Gargles, but the only mammal is us and my cat, maybe it's the blood in his lungs.

Now I write in my little journal that ‘if you're ever afraid, look twice, not once because you’ll always miss the thing that's hidden’.

Those exact words were told to me before my mother passed away, she disappeared and was found ripped to shreds in space, will my fate end up as her?

What monstrous being is hiding up here? Why does NASA even bother exploring Space? Doesn’t the ocean hold more mystery than Space.

No one has bothered to tell us.

We lost all contact with Earth and the company we work with, we might have enough food for little portions, feeding Jonathan food to Pain-killers. He looked so done with life, endless pain and suffering in a cage that is your body.

To be honest, don’t tell Jason about this, probably not, I'm talking to myself! I really don’t like him, not very much so.

He is always snappy, rude and obnoxious, sometimes I wonder why is he on here? But Anika is always so controlling but good at it, she keeps us in check, not choking someone by the waist.

Kanji is having his life flash on repeat against his eyes, he stated that he now hates his birthdays because of the Asteroid crashing against us on that day.

I’ve lost all hope of getting back home.

February 2, 2024 - Regrets

Akio was our newest recruit, he was an engineer like Jason.

Charming person to be honest, acts like a kid at the most unneeded times.

I felt bad when he was hurt up in the vents, but Kanji did help his wounds. I believe they’ve gotten close, too close for safety reasons.

It's probably nothing, I've been taking some days off of writing in my journal but now I am believing I am forgetting things, important things.

I snuck snacks into my room, maybe I'll survive? I don’t know.

It has been only a month up here, food is still lower than ever, Anika suggests we should use the last of the power in the ship to drift to the planet to scavenge.

Kanji pleaded with a stupid God that didn’t help us. Now I am losing faith in life because we are losing dignity.

But my biggest regret was eating Mikey, I couldn't bear the hunger.

His pained meows, how much pain I gave in was too much to handle.

I can’t do this anymore, I'm trying so hard to keep a little of my sanity that's left.

Jason and Kanji began fighting, they're loud as ever nowadays, Jonathan.. I just hope he is fine, he isn’t so swell, we stopped feeding him and kept feeding him pills.

I can’t do this anymore! The pain, the guilt, maybe I should volunteer to use the little power we have left to drift to Monshire.

Maybe we’ll die like my mother, torn to shreds, sucked out of the air, or a much worse fate to the unknown.

Life has begun to turn to the worst, even God doesn’t know our fate.

February 3, 2024 - Forgetting

I didn’t have the energy to even get up, I can't think, I ate my fucking cat, why? Just bloody why!?

If i didn’t eat him, i would have still been sane for a bit, but he would’ve died anyways. Now I'm rewatching the videos of the days I got him as a kitten.

Write in a journal, they say, express your emotions into it they stated, what more pain does this cost me?

Anika gave up hope, Kanji locked themselves into the med-bay, Aiko went up into the vents and perished, and Jason is drinking the last of the alcohol we’ve got.

And Jonathan, I still hear his gargles of somebody drowning in that room, his lungs are full of blood.

I can’t remember my name.. I lost my ID card, the ship is drifting itself to the gravitational grasp of Monshire.

I always wanted to be an author back on Earth, telling my grandmother that I typed out books at school, ‘On my fifth book, Grandmother’. She chuckled at the idea, she loved it, but I never even published or finished any of them.

The book I was last typing was ‘Beneath the depths of blood’, something like that.

If any more explorers or researchers find this journal, be prepared. I beg of you, bring enough food that lasts for years or months.

I should have said that at the end of the page or something.

Big day ahead, ignore the blood on the page. I've been getting sick, but since Kanji locked themselves into the Med-bay, i can’t get supplies.

I always wonder what death feels like up in space, so far away from any religion, no sign of God or anything of that.

Does he truly exist?

October ?, 2024 - The Cavern’s Way

What day is it? And I think it's.. It's october. How many months did I forget to write down?

The last report what's on the second month of the year.

Food has been low, and we actually landed on the moon-like planet.

We are using the ship as a submarine, it's so dark out, so we are only using the camera.

Me and Anika actually found some plants and seeds, and now we’re growing a farm.

Jason is passed out drunk, Kanji’s mentality is slightly getting better overtime.

And Jonathan.. I really don’t know, he is still alive.

Nothing bad has happened yet, which is good. The atmosphere is creepy here, we can’t see and the camera takes time to fully develop the picture.

We were only in the area surrounding this Moon or planet, it's so alone.

I looked into one of the pictures, there were some sort of branches? Weird, they looked crooked, color seemed toned out. I heard a roar or growls here, are we in some kind of prison?

Are we getting punished for our sins for being convicts?

I saw in the pictures we are in a cave, does this cavern inside Monshire lead to anything?

What if this is some type of alien planet that we have not discovered? I wish Mikey was still here, he would have curled deep into my lap, trying to comfort my fears.

I don’t think we’ll survive for long, the coordinates we have.. They mean something we do not know, the only navigation here is the camera. We are not alone forever, something is with us.

October 19, 2024 - The Noises

I keep hearing the roarings of a monster outside these steel walls, thick heavy metal. What type of creatures does these waters hold? I swear these tunnels have been getting tighter and harder to navigate.

Today's pictures were questionable, I found these waters had these tube-like curls in the floor, not moving so they’re not alive I believe so.

The only suits we have are space suits, they’re not good enough to withstand the pressure of the waters, but we did try a rope and Aiko’s corpse, he imploded.

Never felt that sick in the stomach before.

But when we pulled him out, he was snatched away and was gone, we are not alone on this.

Something is in the ocean.

Anika and Kanji complained that Mikey is being loud but they have no idea that it isn’t him, because he is gone, Jason is still crappy but he is alerted, he knows just like me, that we are not safe anymore.

We got power, and I did find out it was the nineteenth, I had a sibling born on this day.

I said my happy birthdays to them, which they’ll never hear again, neither my voice.

Getting off topic, i have been drawing the pictures i said, you probably seen the branches one or something, i don’t know.

Who would read this? No one maybe, like i said before, we are light years away, no one can locate this place, NASA is making it a deep secret they all have.

I wish i could say my final goodbyes, saying that i do not forgive my crimes whilst i lived, i have grown to realise that no matter what we do as humans.

‘Acts have consequences and we make mistakes, but we can’t be truly forgiven.’ - Me

October 20, 2024 - My Secrets

Well, since my therapist did tell me to write everything I remember like secrets and more, I should write them down.

So in 1995 on a december, i used to run out of my class room and try to leave, but never had a chance.

In February, I was abused by my father at the age of ten, when I was very young.

My years went worse as I began to get the attitude of my own father. I wish I had never become what he had become, a monster.

My mum stated I should focus on my studies, keep a smile on my face.

It never truly made me smile, nor happy, I just felt the endless guilt I forever hold into myself. When I was in highschool, I was always picked on by my weight, my body, my shape.

I was told by my brother, or whatever they are, that I will never have friends, and I tend to make them up.

I had nothing to fight for anymore.

There is no one else to tend to my now forever wounds, the guilt I hold in my very body and soul.

The people that grasp their hands at my body for no reason, I feel like a useless punching bag just to take your anger out on.

But one day, my body will be so coated with scars that I will never recognize myself anymore.

Who am I to be exact? A person just to be used.

There will never be enough good in the world, we hurt, we kill, and yet we don’t tend, and heal other people’s wounds.

I have no friends, everyone I trust is never too friendly, monsters are what we are.

I am forever a bag for people to use and abuse brutally.

November 29, 2024 - Resentment

Anika was there when I arrived with Mikey, now she's here with me, looking at my wounded body, which the scars came from myself, regretting it with all I can.

I cried with tears that were like a waterfall, she saw my journal, she knows what i’ve been and seen.

I am forgetting who my family is, and who my own identity was.

Stupid brain, stupid body.

I can’t do this anymore, it's like my life will always fall apart, I am truly forgetful.

My tears now rot on this page, I hate it here, hate being deep under blood waters.

Maybe one day, my body will drift along with my regret.

December 5, 2024 - Birthday?

Is it my birthday? There's no cake, supplies are gone, Anika is gone, Jason is gone, and Kanji is gone.

Jonathan is still alive, he’s been crying because now I harm him. My life has been so shitty, because I cause people more pain than ever.

But well, today i said my own happy birthdays to myself, i had tears in my eyes.

Everyone was gone from my life, even the people that I had trusted and they trusted me back.

I don’t know my name, don’t know what my life was before, who am i?

No one can hear my plea, no one can hear my voice.

The noises are getting louder, a picture had a full on creature in the ocean, and I saw a skeleton of a whale? I don’t know anymore!

Where am I!? Who am i! I have been harming myself, eating my friends just to continue surviving with pure guilt.

I am just a stranger to myself, I don't even remember my own mother's face.

I wish I would've ended it all by myself.

But Jonathan needs help, maybe I should keep my own sanity, just to care for him.

I’ve locked myself in my own room, Kanji and Anika.. I don’t know anymore.

Are they still alive, like Jason?

I hope you all read this.

Don’t worry about me, I'm fine.

December 25, 2024 - My deepest apologies

I am sorry for the crimes I've done, I do not hope I am forgiven.

I am sorry for the pain and silence I gave to my family.

I am sorry for my life being a complete shamble of regret.

I am sorry for being so severely insane that I cannot recognize myself.

And I believe there is nothing up here unlike what others say, there is no sight of god, no sight of the heavenly gates.

Satan is not underground, and God isn’t up in the sky.

Crimes of the world are always committed, yet they aren’t truly forgiven.

I love my family, friends that no longer exist, I will hold my guilt till the world fully crumbles. - Me

#Iron Lung Based book #Mouth washing based book #This includes some personal things

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happyk44 · 3 months ago

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[ID: Digital illustration.

1: Leo and Jason's arms. Leo's arm is above Jason's. Words have been written all over his hand and foream in blue and black ink. For Jason, the ink is regulated to his hand and upper wrist. The blue ink appears to represent Jason and the black ink is Leo.

On Leo's hand and arm, he has written:

Buy toilet paper

Fix ship

It's [unintelligible] fault

Ask Piper about [unintelligible]

#TEAM LEO, with a small drawing of flames over the "O"

-NO! [in reponse to Jason's message about sleep]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 [written vertically down his wrist]

A triangle with a squared, b squared and c squared each written on a separate side [aka, the pythagorean theorem]

I FORGOT OK?!! [in response to Jason's message about the aforementioned pythagorean theorem]

It's all my fault [which Jason has crossed out]

Traduje en google todo esto al espanol

A drawing of flames

Hypocrit [misspelling of "hypocrite", in response to Jason]

Gramr freak [misspelling of "grammar", in response to Jason]

Remember Buford

Lol bullshit [in response to Jason, the word bullshit is crossed out]

DW abt it [DW meaning "don't worry about it" in response to Jason]

Why do you care? [in response to Jason]

On Leo's hand and arm, Jason has written:

If found return to cabin 9, and tell him to go to sleep!

Property of Jason Grace [an arrow from the previous message leads to this one]

Don't write on your hand -Jason <3 xox

Drawing of a small heart

Did you need to remember this? You have it memorised [with an arrow pointing to the pythagorean theorem Leo drew]

No it's not, ily ["ily" meaning "I love you" in response to Leo's "it's all my fault" message that Jason crossed out]

Hey, not fair! Non est fun in linguis

*Hypocrite [correcting Leo's misspelling]

Also remember that you are loved -Jason <3 xx

No, I love you [in response to Leo's "bullshit", which Jason crossed out]

Scorch mark or bruise [an arrow pointing at a light purple spot on Leo's arm

Leo... [in response to Leo's "don't worry about it"]

Because I love you [in response to Leo asking why he cares]

On Jason's hand and arm, he has written:

#Team Leo [multiple hearts are drawn around Leo's name]

Remember to tell Leo you love him

^e ^h [correcting Leo's spelling]

Baby, it's my arm! [in response to Leo]

Come and get it then! [in response to Leo]

On Jason's hand and arm, Leo has written

haha I writ were i want [mispelling of "haha I write where I want", which Jason corrected] -Leo [small drawing of flames over the "o"]

Don't correct my gramr!! [misspelling of grammar]

No, it's mine. i own ur arm [mispelling of "your", in reponse to Jason saying it's his arm]

Property of Leo Valdez [his name is underlined twice]

2. Jason and Leo sitting on a bed. Leo has a controller in one hand, focused on something ahead of himself. His thumb is pressed into a joystick. His other arm is being held hostage by Jason, who is doodling blue hearts along his forearm and hand in blue ink. Jason has a heart and a couple unintelligible notes written across his foream in the same ink. The colour of their clothing opposes the other; Leo wearing a white shirt, black shorts and white baggy socks, and Jason wearing a black tank top, white shorts and black socks.

/end ID]

Hc that Leo writes everything on his arm so he doesn’t forget stuff. Jason starts leaving comments underneath the reminders and then things spiral.

#art #poppitron360 #described images #jasonleo #jason grace #leo valdez #pjo #pjo art #reblogged #ginnyluna

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quack-city · 3 years ago

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Anyway I'll do it tomorrow for now reblog my latest quackity art I named that file shoes and also misspelled that phrase twice first being whatsa ship to a tiger and then what's a fish to a tiger (I was watching marine life documentaries) and I also kinda like it so 😩 spare a reblog for a poor artist no?

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secret-engima · 4 years ago

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skriarcano

This is an awesome rant! I’m certain they didn’t watch the movie either. Somewhere in the book there’s a line basically saying she’s never worn anything but white and umm...no? Also the events of Kingsglaive were only mentioned maybe twice in extremely passing fashion. Also...you’d think maybe she’d recognize more than Regis in the throne room? At the very least you’d think she’d have a reaction to herself. It felt like they gave them the DLC outline and points to hit and no time for research.

Me: Thanks!

And ooooh yeah I remember noticing that and getting severely annoyed. Because- I get being on a timeline. I understand that this writer probably has several contracts to complete and a life to live.

But she really couldn’t have sat down and watched the movie? It’s only around 2 hours. I think it’s less than that? Wouldn’t even have to watch it in one sitting, because pause is a thing?

And you say “it felt like” they gave the author the outline and the basics and nothing else but you’re honestly probably right??? Heck I’m marginally impressed they bothered to do even that because I’ve read licensed Transformer novels where the author doesn’t even bother to keep the main characters names straight and doesn’t use any of the terminology found in like- the comics or shows (servo, optic, etc etc). The early part of the novels is ... okay but then the misspells happen and the plot holes happen and characters show up where they can’t be because they’re already in a scene on another space ship or something and I had to put it down and walk away.

I am always really leery of tie-in novels since then because if the author isn’t already a fan of the work, then it’s so, SO easy for stupid mistakes to happen or it to seem like the author doesn’t care beyond the paycheck (maybe they don’t, or maybe the company just didn’t give them enough info or enough time to research on their own, I honestly can’t tell).

With that as the judgement bar, I have to grudgingly admit that the author of DoTF doesn’t do nearly as badly as she could have. Because I would be 100% unsurprised if the author wrote that entire thing working from an info packet the company gave that was like “Here’s a summary of each ‘important’ character and what they look like, here’s a summary of the game plot and also kinda the movie we never talk about, here’s a summary of the DLC we wanted to make and here’s the plot points we need you to hit” and then just let her go from there. Which, when working on a beloved game with characters the readers are going to know better than you ... isn’t a lot to work with. At all.

Still won’t stop me from ranting on the characterization issues, but like. I can see that happening.

#Secret Engima Rambles #SE rants #dawn of the future #i refuse to hate the author #because i do think she at least tried #but i will yell at the stuff she got wrong #that could have been fixed with some research #and some actual logical deduction #like luna's character

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kob131 · 4 years ago

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Oh and his ending, which is suppose to wrap all this up?

A. “They have the lamp that attracts Grimm, that won’t be masked by the Grimm! They’re so stupid!”

Fun Fact-When Ren and Jaune do their trick-It’s a split second so they can get in front of the Leviathan and Ruby can blast with her Silver Eyes.

“A pair of Manta aircraft are seen firing shots at the Leviathan. Suddenly, the Leviathan unleashes an energy beam attack from its mouth. It shifts the beam over to one of the poles powering the hard-light Dust barrier, destroying it. The Leviathan roars.

Ruby and her friends watch in horror from their aircraft.

Oscar: It tore straight through...!

Air Control: All squadrons, fall back to evacuation procedures. Disengage Leviathan! I repeat, disengage! Over!

Ruby: No, wait!Ruby runs up to the radio.

Qrow: Ruby!

Ruby: We can stop it!

Air Control: Who is this? Identify yourself!

Ruby: I'm a Huntress. My team and I are heading to the Leviathan and can weaken it for you to attack!

Everyone looks at Ruby in shock.

Jaune: We can?

Ruby: I can.

Maria: Ruby, when I said "trial by fire"--

Ruby: I did it at Beacon and at the farm.

Weiss: You really think you can do it now?

Ruby: I don't have a choice.

Air Control: Manta 5-1, your ship is currently flagged as hostile. You will receive no support, over.

Ruby: (picking up radio) Fine, we'll do it alone if we have to.

From her mech, Cordovin overhears Ruby's radio chatter.

Ruby: We can hit it while it's stopped at the next barrier. Ren, you're up!

Ren and Jaune proceed to combine their Semblances, masking the airship as it weaves between the air battles between Grimm and Atlas forces. The Leviathan makes its way to the next barrier and charges its energy breath again.

Qrow: We're too late! Pull up!

The Manta aircraft pulls up out of the way as the Leviathan fires its breath, destroying the next barrier and toppling a cupola off one of the buildings in Argus. Ren and Jaune collapse as their Auras are drained.’

The lamp wouldn’t matter. And it didn’t.

B. ‘Why is everyone shocked to hear Ruby suggesting to help? It’s sooo dumb!”

Wanna know why I gave so much context above? Because above- you see what FMF is referring to. ... Yeah, the shock wasn’t from deciding to help- It was from Ruby saying they can stall the Grimm.

So FMF just lied. Again. And used the commentary while misrepresenting the scene. Again.

C. ‘That’s what the Writers decide to remember? They talk as though the scenes Ruby referenced never happened!’

Yeah, remember what I said about FMF lying? Well, the commentary here isn’t edited over a scene from the show and look at the lines he choose-

‘I’m curious what the idea was, this is a pretty bold move right?’

“It came down to, they had to try.’

Doesn’t really should like they’re referring what was said right? And Kerry’s voice sounds different from how the other guy’s voice sounds like (as in, it’s as if Kerry’s voice doesn’t follow directly from what the other guy said). Considering that FMF has already lied in this segment- why should I trust that he didn’t just take a piece of the commentary out of context and sell it to an audience that buys outright lies?

Edit: Fun fact, I actually asked for a transcription of this part of the RWBY Volume 6 commentary and a user by the name of Changyuraptor did it for me.

Wanna see what was actually said here?

“Chris: "I'm curious what the idea was, like this is a pretty bold move right, like she had just not even 5 or 6 chapters ago talked to Maria about the concept of just using her silver eyes to begin with and she's looking at this massive Grimm."

Kerry: "It came back down to- there's actually some slightly different earlier versions of the speech that was a little bit different, but Miles was like (I think he's saying Miles' name here, not 100% sure) 'they have to try" you know, it doesn't look like anything else is working, if she can at least try and it works to any degree it's something you know, I think what was a bigger part of this message too is I think a lot of people probably would have told her not to do it but she needs to follow what she thinks is best."

They weren’t talking about Ruby’s idea specifically, nor is anything said here indicating they forgot anything.

In fact, he cuts off most of what was said (even cutting stuff said INBETWEEN what he used) JUST to make that point.

So yeah- definitive proof he lies using the commentary.

D. ‘Oh Atlas doesn’t want help after asking for help! How stupid!’

“Air Control: Who is this? Identify yourself!

Ruby: I'm a Huntress. My team and I are heading to the Leviathan and can weaken it for you to attack!

Air Control: Manta 5-1, your ship is currently flagged as hostile. You will receive no support, over.

Ruby: (picking up radio) Fine, we'll do it alone if we have to.”

Not what they said FMF.

Also he tries saying the group was surprised when Ruby said they helped when that’s NOT what she said. Again. So he made the same lie TWICE.

Also also, he misspelled Atlas as ‘Atlus’. As in, the SMT/Persona company. It would have even registered as an incorrect spelling when he made the spelling. This was a video in production over a YEAR.

E. ‘Atlas hates the idea of Huntsmen!’

*Shows Ironwood giving a bunch of teams the option to walk away from the Fall of Beacon*

That’s not even connected to anything here...well, here as in the review because this does reinforce the thematic idea the show presents that you should stand and fight.

... Did FMF just support Team RWBY’s stance in Volume 7?

F. ‘NO body would tell a Huntress to not save a town full of people!’

*looks over at the people calling Team RWBY stupid for trying to save all of Mantle in Volume 7*

Cool, now even his laziness is biting him in the ass.

G. “THIS FICTIONAL PERSON WANTED A HUNTRESS SO THE REAL PEOPLE WHO THE COMMENTARY IS REFERRING TO DON’T EXIST!”

Fuck, how does anyone take him seriously?

H. ‘DUr Atlas man being stupid!’

Oh so not backing up the STOLEN SHIP that was JUST IN A FIGHT WITH THEIR COMMANDER and NOT KNOWING THE PEOPLE ON BOARD PERSONALLY is stupid huh? He should just risk his men’s lives for an enemy that SAYS they can help but they don’t KNOW that.

Gee, what were you saying about logic again?

I. ‘Maria flies into a dangerous spot, so stupid!’

Gee, not like point blank range would be a good idea or that they were already on that course but that’d require FMF to not edit a scene to suit himself and we all know intellectual integrity is toxic to his very existence./s

J. ‘How do the shield generators get hit if the shields are up?’

*Shown: the shield generators NOT BEING BEHIND THE SHIELDS*

K. ‘Hey, why try to get it’s attention when you have lamp!’

*Episode 1: shows that a bunch of panicking people would attract the Grimm over the lamp*

L. ‘DUR, REN’S SEMBLANCE!’

*Shown: Ren’s AURA AKA SEMBLANCE FUEL SOURCE BREAKING*

M. ‘Ruby takes lamp despite distraction!’

Hm, gee, almost like her plan was to FREEZE the damn thing and it didn’t notice her even while flying around with the lamp.

N. ‘THEY FORGET LAMP WAS DANGEROUS BUT REMEMBER IT STOP TIME!’

*points above*

O. ‘DUR< MECH FIGHT ONLY STOPPED FINAL BATTLE FOR LESS TWO MINUTES!’

You know...and taking out the weapon made to kill the Grimm for a long period of time...and Cordovon’s actions SUMMONED the Grimm...and all the shields were down and the breath attack that could level half the city in one shot takes about five seconds to charge up.

Gosh, it’s almost like he relies on his audience not knowing any better...

P, ‘SALEM THINKS HER PROBLEM SOLVED WITH FLYING MONKEY WHICH COULD HAPPEN IN EPISODE 2!’

1. You cut out the WHOLE REST OF THE ARMY.

2. ‘Hazel: There's an old saying.

he two notice Hazel Rainart enter the room and stand next to them.

Hazel: If you want something done right... do it yourself.

Salem looks up to the army of Grimm she has gathered, before turning around and using her magic on the black pools again, engulfing the entire scene...’

3. Salem’s problem is the news Ozpin lived...delievered to her in Episode 4. Not Episode 2.

Q. ‘THEY GO TO ATLAS LIKE BAD MAN OZPIN SAY THEY DO! THEY NO QUESTION ANYTHING!’

Question.

What the fuck are they suppose to do?

Can’t wait anywhere, you yourself admitted that they showed the lamp attracted Grimm AND you never stopped bitching about Volume 5.

Vale is out.

Mistral is out, no Raven.

Vacuo is clear across the other side of Remnant.

Can’t even talk it out because people wouldn’t stop bitching about the talking in Volume 5.

You act like there’s any OTHER logical choice, FMF. Or that Ozpin’s lies would change ANYTHING about his decision about going to Atlas being bad.

But then again, that’d require your brain to function in regard to RWBY.

Then he goes on to say some shit about how everyone is just back to the way they are and how the Volume was pointless. I’d discuss that...but I want you to look at everything he said here. All the lying he did. All the suspect shit he pulled. All the crap he ignored. All the positions he abandoned in Volume 5 to bitch about here.

All the piss he spewed for nothing.

Look at this and think to yourself: Even if I saw the whole thing and heard his reasonings-

Would you believe a word he says?

I had to stop myself from wheezing I laughed at him so hard. This is the video equivalent of that drowning meme

He CREATED every single bit of his situation. He CHOSE to see things this way even after it took mental gynmastics to see it so.

It’s hilarious he acts like he’s in so much pain that HE INFLICTED TO HIMSELF.

I gave FMF a chance. His first point and his last point to impress me even a little. What did I get?

An ironic comedy routine that makes Beavis and Butt Head look like Steven Hawking.

#rwby #fatmanfalling

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currahee-gal · 5 years ago

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Omg can you give us some slowburn Liebgott? Or any Liebgott? Also your Toye fic was excellent!!!

WOW THIS ONE IS SUPER OLD! And wait…did somebody say slowburn??? Because do I HaVe A tReAt FoR yOu!! I really hope you like this Liebgott slowburn. I put my blood, sweat and tears into it. And thank you so much!!

The Five Times Joe Liebgott Almost Kissed Her (and the One Time She Did It for Him)

Pairing: Joe Liebgott x Reader

Warnings: Frustration, angst, minor character death, Liebgott being a dorky jerk, reader being a dorky jerk back, lots and lots of cursing, fluffy, honestly it has a little bit of everything except smut so. Please also watch out for misspellings, grammatical errors, as well as overall awkward sentence phrasing. This took a very long time to write and I am very tired. Mostly edited, but I’m not perfect.

Word count: 7,220 (oops my finger slipped)

A/N: Did somebody say slowburn?!?! You request, I deliver. This monster is finally finished and all I can say is thank goodness it is. I really hope you guys enjoy this. I did. I love Liebgott. Send me more Liebgott because I love him. These stories are solely based on the actors from the Band of Brothers series, not on the actual heroes

The hunting party watched the deer flee into the forest in annoyance. Joe slumps his shoulders and groans.

“Oh damn it Shifty, you let ‘em get away! Army oughtta be glad to be rid of you.”

Shifty nods a little before lowering his M-1. “I wish, you know? It seems they want me to stay around a while.”

“Are you serious?” Liebgott’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates.

“How many points you need?” Malarkey asks on the other side of the line.

“15.” Shifty sighs, turning his head to Malark.

“15? Jesus Christ, I thought I had it bad.” Malarkey sighed in disbelief. Shifty shrugged and readjusted the firearm in his grip.

“No purple hearts, never was injured.” With his statement, Shifty took a step forward, the rest of the party following.

There was a long moment of silence that followed. The only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of birds chirping and the crunching of twigs and dry leaves under their army issued boots. It was broken by Malarkey with a statement that made everyone perk up.

“God, if Shifty ain’t goin’ home…”

Liebgott immediately thought of you. He flashed on the conversation he had with you at breakfast this morning.

“Can I have your toast?” You asked, your voice still filled with sleep and your eyes cloudy. Joe shrugged.

“I don’t know Y/N, can you?” Joe sneered, glancing up at you from his eggs and potatoes.

“Joseph David Liebgott, may I please have your toast, for Pete’s sake?” You groaned, reaching for your coffee and taking a sip. He smiled and shrugged.

“Yes you may.” Joe handed you the warm, buttered slice of bread.

You mumbled a “thanks” as you took a bite of the slice.

Joe poked at his potatoes with his fork for a moment before peeking up at you. You were staring out the window, the sun was hitting your face and making your gorgeous eyes sparkle in the morning light. He also noticed the dark circles under your eyes.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” You whipped her head to face him, looking startled. He could see your thought shrinking smaller in your eyes. He felt his chest tighten with a pang of guilt.

“You okay?” Joe put down his fork and furrowed his brows at you worriedly.

The look that came over your features made his stomach churn with worry. Your skin turned pale and your eyes darted down to stare at the contents of your coffee mug. He saw your hands tighten around the cup, your knuckles starting to turn white. He could tell you were debating something in your head. He noticed your jaw clench and unclench as you took a glance out the window again. After a moment, brought the mug to your lips and closed your eyes, taking an inhale before heaving a deep sigh.

“Winters pulled me aside last night. I’m five points shy of going home. I’m being shipped back out.”

“Y/N isn’t going home either.” Joe muttered.

“What do ya mean?” Malarkey almost hollered.

“What do ya think I mean?!” Joe yelled back, spit flying from his mouth as he spoke. “She’s five points short.”

“You’re kidding.” Perconte sputtered, shocked. “Christ, it don’t matter if she’s got the points or not, send the poor girl home. She’s been through enough…”

Bull started laughing a little, making the group of men turn their heads to the gentle giant.

“You’d think that after everything, she and Liebgott would’ve gotten married by now.”

This made everyone chuckle, except Joe.

“What the hell are you guys talkin’ about?! I-”

“Oh come on Liebgott,” Ramirez shook his head at his friend. “Don’t play dumb.”

“The two of you have been dancing around your feelings for each other since we were running up Currahee. Don’t try to deny it!” Malarkey grinned. Joe shook his head, a fuzzy feeling bubbling in his chest.

“You guys are nuts. I haven’t even kissed her.”

“You’ve known her for three fuckin’ years now and you haven’t even kissed her yet?! You’re the one that’s nuts, pal.” Perconte chuckled.

“But they have come pretty close a couple of times, if I do remember correctly.” Bull snickered.

Joe blinked a couple times, the memory floodgates bursting open.

1. Lunchtime

The stale summer air lingered in the dining hall at Camp Toccoa. Joe sat in front of his lunch, which looked meatloaf, but he honestly couldn’t tell. All of Easy was exhausted from running Currahee so there wasn’t much talking going on at the table. That was until Webster slapped Joe’s shoulder a couple times.

“What do you want, Web?” Joe drawled.

“Look, it’s her.” Web pointed to the girl in line to get food. Everyone in Easy had heard about the female NCO in their company, but few had been brave enough to try and talk to her. People say she’s fairly quiet and keeps to herself, but she’s impressive. Joe had seen your while running, you were quite the athlete.

“So? She’s just gettin’ her lunch. Big fuckin’ deal.” Joe glances up at you as you start walking towards the tables and soon passes by the two of them.

“Have you talked to her?” Webster glances over his shoulder to see you sit down with Luz and Toye a few tables down. Joe shakes his head, running a hand through his sweaty hair.

“No, don’t even know her name.” Joe gets up from the table, grabbing his tray.

“Where are you going?” Web asked.

“Jesus, Web, quit grilling me! ‘M not hungry, this food is fuckin’ disgusting. I’ll be right back. Try not to miss me too much.” Joe gets up and starts making his way towards the kitchen window. He places his tray on the counter and gives the chef a tight smile. Just as he turns to leave, he runs straight into somebody.

“Jesus, watch where you’re going!” Joe looks down to see the girl standing right in front of him. Now that he’s up close, he can see when people have been ogling at you since you’ve stepped foot on camp. You’re fucking gorgeous.

“Sorry, I just-”

“No, I’m sorry. The heat’s getting to me, my patience is weathering away.” Joe muttered an apology, scratching the back of his neck.

“It’s fine, that run has me exhausted too.” You smiled a little, making his heart skip a beat. Joe clears his throat once or twice before attempting to casually lean up against the counter.

“So, you’re the new chick, right?” Joe asked, just realizing how stupid that sounded when it left his mouth.

You nod, sighing as you extend your hand. “Haven’t seen any other girls wandering around, so yeah, sure. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Liebgott, Joe.” He shakes your hand. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. “Cigarette?”

“I don’t smoke, thanks though.” You kindly declined. Joe shrugs and lights his smoke.

“So, what brings you here?”

“What brings me to war? I want to fight for my country and show that a woman can do it just as good as any man.” You take a step closer as you speak. “But if you’re asking me why I came here to the-”

Joe mirrors your action, taking a step forward. You look a little taken aback when he does. You clear your throat as you look up at him, your faces inches away from each other. “Sorry, but can I please squeeze by you? I need to get to the salt.” You cough, looking down at your boots.

“Hm?” Joe cocks an eyebrow, turning around to see about a dozen salt and pepper shakers behind where he was just standing.

“That’s why I came to the counter… I needed some salt…” You meekly point to the shakers. “Whoever set the tables didn’t give us one.” You say with a simple tone, glancing up into his deep brown eyes. You feel your stomach fill with butterflies when you do, so you look at your fidgeting hands. He’s still so close.

Joe blinks, confused for a moment before he steps out of your way. You take the salt shaker and start making your way back to the tables. “It was nice talking with you, Liebgott.” And with a wave, you leave Joe standing there looking like a blushy fool.

“She was tryin’ to get fuckin’ salt?” Joe was kicking mentally himself. What the fuck was he thinking? That you were trying to make a move on him, so he meets you halfway? When all you really wanted was fucking salt?! Good one, Liebgott. Real fuckin’ smooth. Great first impression.

Joe looks to see you already back at your table, laughing at something George had said. Joe crosses his arms as he starts walking back to his seat with David.

“Hey Lieb-”

“Shut the fuck up for once, will ya Webster?”

2. The Party

The celebration was in full swing and the music could barely be heard above the cheering. Liebgott was chatting with Popeye and Talbert, drinking beers and laughing.

“So, Liebgott,” Tab slurred with a wolfish grin. “People have seen you gettin’ closer with Y/L/N.”

“Yeah,” Popeye smirked. “What’s all that about?”

You and Joe had gotten closer since you had met at that one lunchtime. He had learned that you were just a little shy, but once he started talking to you, you were a real hoot. The rest of the company learned that too over time. He had earned the title “Pretty Boy” (a pet name bestowed upon him by you, of course). That was another thing that the company had learned quickly. For some reason you, seemingly, favored Joseph David Liebgott.

Joe grins and shakes his head. “So I talk to her, what a scandal! C’mon, guys, so I hang out with the girl. What’s the matter with that?”

“Nothin’ it’s just- ” Tab trailed off and stared at something behind Joe. When Joe turned around, he saw you and Donald Malarkey go to the small open space at the front of the room and start to swing dance. He’s spinning you around and lifting you and your smiling and laughing. Joe feels his heart stutter at the sight, but something in his chest swells. He wanted to make you feel like that. Was he jealous? He would never admit it, but yeah, probably.

“Tab?” Joe turns to his friend. “Hold my beer.”

“Lieb-” Tab tries to say something but Joe is already on the move. By the time he reaches the pair, the song is coming to an end.

“Can I cut in?” Joe holds his hand out for you to take. You glance over at a now pouting Don, and him a sympathetic smile as you leave his arms and take Joe’s hand.

“I don’t know, can you?” You pull Joe out onto the floor.

“Smartass.” Joe tsks.

“You know, it’s not very polite to address a woman like that. You’re being a bit of an ass.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry ma’am.”

Just then, a slower paced song begins to play. Joe glances up to see Luz and Tab standing by the record player, Tab raising his beer in the air, mouthing “cheers” and Luz grinning the biggest grin Joe has ever seen. Joe rolls his eyes at the pair before places his right hand on your waist and takes your right hand in his left. You begin to sway to the music flowing from into the room.

“You’re hair looks good, Lieb.”

“Gee, thanks! I washed it.” Joe grins and he spins you and pulls you back to him.

“I didn’t take you for much of a dancer.” You observed with a smirk. “I saw you more as a ‘stand-in-the-corner-and-brood-with-a-beer’ kind of guy.”

“There’s still a lot you don’t know about me yet, sweets.” Joe shrugged.

“Joe Liebgott, full of surprises.”

“Tell me about it.” Joe nodded with a chuckle. “How’s your night so far?”

“I missed dancing. My older brother Stanley and I used to go dancing every Saturday.” Your face lit up at the mention of your brother. Joe smiles and nods.

“You gotta brother?”

“Two. I got my older brother Stanley and my younger brother Brian. Stan enlisted in the Navy and Brian’s only fourteen so he’s stuck at home with Mom. He’s probably bored out of his mind.”

“Navy, that’s impressive.” Joe remarked with a smirk. You nodded.

“He’s an impressive guy. Bull reminds me of Stan. Big guy. Looks like he could snap you in half but he’s a real sweetheart, ya know?” You laugh and Joe laughs along with you. Watching you laugh made Joe’s chest prickle with some kind of feeling. It made him pause, but he put it out of mind.

“Bet he scared off all your boyfriend’s that came knocking on your door, huh?” Liebgott gushed, not being able to stop himself. He felt his cheeks warm out of embarrassment for asking such a forward question so boldly, but you just seemed to laugh it off.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

You two danced for a few moments, swaying to the music in each others arms. You lean your cheek on his chest and Joe tenses for a moment.

“What about you?” You wonder out loud, your voice almost in a whisper.

“What about me?” Joe questions, glancing down at you. He noticed your head fit perfectly right under his chin. The thought made his lips twitch into a smile.

“You got a broad back home waiting for you to come home after all of this is over?” You bring your head up from his shoulder to look back at him, noses practically touching. You could feel Joe’s heart beating in his chest and he could feel yours. Joe shakes his head.

“Nope, just me.” Suddenly his confidence slowly leaves his body, his voice low and almost wavering. He was looking right back into your eyes, and he felt himself drowning. You were so close to him, he could smell your perfume. It was intoxicating.

His eyes slowly drifted down to your lips, which were painted a bright cherry red. You bit your bottom lip, your hand slowly snaking its way behind his neck.

“Lucky me…” You sigh as your eyes flutter closed.

Joe closes his eyes, he starts to lean in and-

scrEEEE

“TEN-HUT!”

The two of you leap apart from each other and stand at attention. Colonel Sink struts into the room with Major Strayer and Winters and Nixon off to the side. Joe sighs with a defeated look evident on his face. He glances over at you to catch you already looking at him. You quickly flick your gaze back to the Colonel.

Colonel Sink gives a short speech detailing how proud he was of the company.

“I want you to know that I’m damned proud of each and every one of you. However, I would like to take a moment to recognize Corporeal Y/N Y/L/N. You’ve shown just what it means to be a fine soldier and paratrooper, and you, m’dear, set the bar high for these men and for everyone that follows. You’re making history here. Congratulations, Corporeal.” The Colonel smiles down at you.

You feel yourself flush red as the who company starts to cheer your name and you salute Sink. “Thank you, Sir.”

He gives you a nod and turns his attention back to the crowd. “Now you deserve this party.”

Chuck comes up with a pint of beer for the Colonel, to which Sink thanks him.

“Now I want you to have fun, and remember our motto. Currahee!”

“Currahee!” The entire company shouts. And with that, the celebration resumes. Chuck and Popeye approach you with a pat on the back and a hugs.

“Congrats, Corporeal.” Popeye mimics Sink with a smirk. You laugh and give him a slap on the shoulder.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up now. I’ll be outranking you suckers by Christmas, just wait and see.” The group that had formed around you laughed. You glanced around the group and your eyes locked with Liebgott. He smiled as he gave you a quick once over before taking a sip of his beer. You smiled, your cheeks flushed a pink tint.

This was going to be a long war.

3. Normandy

To say that Joe was stressed about the jumps into Normandy would be an accurate assumption. To say that Joe was stressed about not being with you on the jump into Normandy would be an extreme understatement. He knew you would be fine (only because you reassured him before going your separate ways) but he couldn’t help it.

Neither of you have spoken about that night since it happened. If someone else tried to bring it up around you two, they would get shot down immediately and were told to drop the topic. He couldn’t tell if you never brought it up because you were embarrassed it happened and just wanted to forget about it, or for whatever reason. He tried not to think about it. Despite that, he could safely say that, by this point, you were one of his closest friends he had made on this journey thus far. And maybe he had deeper feelings than just friendship, but he didn’t have to tell anybody that. Ever.

When Liebgott got to the assembly area, you were nowhere to be found. A couple people from your plane had arrived, so all he could do is wait and he hope for the best. He sat on a dirt mound with Joe Toye and a couple others as they waited for instructions.

“Relax, Lieb. She’ll get here.” Toye tried to help his friend relax.

“What? Nah, I’m fine. I’m worried about the other guys too. They’ll get here, I know.” He muttered, trying to keep a cool composure. Toye scoffed.

“Whatever you say.”

His hopes only got higher as he saw a group of Easy men walk in.

“Ah, Easy Company.” He greeted, getting to his feet. After greeting his fellow E company men, as well as this Hall character from A company, we turned to sit back down. Then, his ears perked up.

“Pretty boy!” Joe heard you cheer from down the road. To your left was Bill Guenere, grinning like a cat as he watched you practically skipped to Liebgott.

“Glad you could finally make an appearance.” Joe teased as he engulfed you in a sweaty hug.

“You know me, always making an entrance and showing up fashionably late.” You giggled.

“Fashionably?” Joe reaches out and smudges the tar still on your face. You flinch and smack his hand away.

“Like you look so dapper yourself. What happened to your hair?” You reach out and ruffle his brown locks. He scrunches his nose and grabs your wrist and puts it back at your side.

“It’s called jumping out of plane, try it some time, sweetheart.” He sneered.

“Actually I just did, and I think I still look pretty good if I do say so myself. And I do say so.” You rebbuttled with a smirk.

“Y/N Y/L/N, cocky as ever.” He teased.

“Me? Cocky? Take a look in the mirror, you scruffy little-”

“Scruffy?! Fuck off!”

“You fuck off!”

“Love birds, please! Can we keep it moving? We have a war to fight and Nazis to kill. You’re bickering is disgustingly adorable, just get hitched already.” Bill announced, a grin plastered on his face as the fellow E company men started chuckling at the scene. He sauntered off, but not before shaking his head and muttering a “Jesus Christ”.

The two of you watched him go and take a glance at each other before you fall into a fit of giggles. He hooks his arm around her shoulders and guides her down the path.

“Got me worried there for a second. Thought a Kraut ate ya or somethin’.” Joe snickered as you gasped at him.

“A Kraut? Eat me?! Please, I’d shoot ‘em if they got within a hundred feet of me.” You groaned, a smile blooming onto your face.

Joe opened his mouth to respond when a boom echoed in the distance. Joe held you closer as he looked up to the sky. When he looked down, you were scanning the area with wide eyes. He squeezed your shoulder.

“You scared?” He asked in a lower tone, half joking, half serious. You flinched for a second, flicking your gaze to meet his. You nodded, not seeming confident.

“Liebgott, I just jumped out of an airplane and trekked eight kilometers through a warzone in the pitch dark. I fear nothing.” You stepped out of his grasp and turned to look at him. “You?”

“Never.” He replied, not really convinced by his own words. You nodded and let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Good.”

And with that, you turned and walked off to join Toye and Buck.

Joe watched you go, the sound of gunshots firing off in the distance. Suddenly, it was all very real to him. The honeymoon phase was over and it was time to get down to business. There was a good chance that they weren’t going to make it out of this alive, and that scared the shit out of him. But he couldn’t focus on that. Not now. So, he pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and put his fears in the back of his mind.

Joe couldn’t stand it in the back of the truck anymore. The stench made him wanna hurl. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Jesus! Get me outta here.” Joe hopped out from the back of the truck, hearing Sergeant Lipton yell something about “light discipline”, but Joe couldn’t get out of there faster.

He started walking down the street, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he passed dozens of soldiers. As he walked, he saw a silhouette leaning against a stone wall standing on the side of the road ahead. Without much thought, he knew it was you. As he approached you, he saw you picking at her nails, probably trying to get the dirt out from under them. Your helmet was by your feet, giving Joe a rare look at your hair shining in the moonlight.

“Evening, Miss.” Joe greeted, making your head turn to see him. Even in the dark, he saw the small smile appear on your face.

“Evening to you too, Mister.” You greeted as you adjusted your stance so you were standing a little taller, but still leaning against the wall.

“Want some company? You looked a little lonesome.” Joe stood in front of you now. You shrugged, glancing down at your shoes.

“Just in my thoughts is all.” That was the only thing you could muster. After all, it had been a long ass day.

“Penny for ‘em?” Joe moved to lean against the wall with you. You didn’t really say anything at first, you just kinda stared into space, but Joe nudged you with his elbow. “Oh c’mon, don’t go all shy on me now. It’s just me, you can talk to me. I’m your Pretty Boy, remember?” Joe teased, making you smile. God, he loved that smile.

“Joe Liebgott, what would I do without you?” You sighed.

“Enlighten me. What would you do? My curiosity is piqued.” Joe smirked, quirking an eyebrow at you.

“I’d probably be bored out of my mind.” You confessed, turning to look up at him. “You’ve kept me smiling through the whole time I’ve known you. Don’t get me wrong, I love Luz, he’s a crack up, but you’ve kept me on my toes.”

He creased his eyebrows.

“Corporeal, have you been drinking?” Joe asked, not really expecting such a genuine answer. You shook your head and rolled your eyes.

“Just take the compliment, Liebgott.” You groaned. He chuckled and nodded.

Just then, a car rumbled by, its headlights shining towards them as it drove by. With the passing flash of light, Joe noticed a cut on your right cheek.

“Woah, what happened?” Joe cupped your cheek and ran his thumb lightly over the wound.

“What? The scratch? It’s nothing.” You reached up to grab his wrist and pull it away, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Has Gene looked at it yet?”

“Lieb-”

“How’d you get that?”

“Lieb, really I’m fine-”

“It looks like it’s deep, you might need stitches. Here, I’ll take you to go see Doc-”

“Joe!” You grabbed his face, forcing him to look you in the eyes. “I’m fine. I already went to go see Doc, he said I was fine. It was just a graze from some shrapnel earlier today-”

“When the hell did you get hit with fucking shrapnel, Y/N?!” Joe shouted, the vain starting to pop out on his temple.

“I don’t fucking know, Lieb! I was trying to survive while I was being shot at by a bunch of Krauts! Shit happens.” Y/N snarled back. “And to be completely honest, it coulda been a whole lot fucking worse. This litte papercut compared to what happend to some of the guys today, so if you could stop yelling that would be fan-fucking-tastic.”

The two of you just sized each other up for a moment before Joe slouched against the wall and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Sorry…you’re right.” He muttered, sounding exhausted.

“It’s alright,” You nod, looking straight ahead at the passing soldiers. “Never thought you cared so much…”

Joe scoffed at your words, shaking his head.

“‘Course I fuckin’ care.” Joe pulled you into him, wrapping his long arms around you, resting his chin on your head and engulfing you in a hug. You wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your left cheek against his chest. He slowly started to pet your hair as you tighten your grip around his middle. “Maybe I care a little too much sometimes.” He muttered, not really meaning for you to hear. But of course you did.

You look up at him, a smile playing on your lips. “I care about you too, Joe.”

God dammit he couldn’t take it.

“Y/N, I gotta ask ya somethin’-”

“Easy Company! Get your gear, we’re moving out!” He heard an officer call out over the crowd. You groaned, burying your face in Joe’s chest.

“I gotta go grab my stuff, I’ll catch up with you?” You smiled sympathetically at Joe, who nodded.

“Yeah, sure. See ya.” Joe waved and watched you jog off to God knows where. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying not to scream. Instead, he banged his fist against the stone wall a little too hard.

“Fuck!” He cringed, shaking the pain out of his hand.

He was in deep shit.

4. Bastogne

It’s cold. So fucking cold that Joe thought his balls would freeze and fall off. Everyone in Easy was miserable, but after Colonel Sink’s visit, everyone seemed to be in semi lighter spirits. Joe surveyed the crowd, looking for his best friend, but he couldn’t see her.

“Hey Shift?” Joe turned to Shifty.

“Yeah, Joe?” Shifty looked over at Joe, tightly bundled from head to toe.

“You’ve seen Y/N?” Joe asked, taking another glance around. “Haven’t seen her since this morning.”

“Have you checked her foxhole?” Shifty queried.

“Of course I have.” Joe groaned, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It was the first place I looked.”

“Mess hall tent?” Shifty tried again.

“Tried there.”

“Is she on patrol?”

“No, checked with Lip about that a bit ago.”

After a pause, Shifty pointed through the trees with a gloved hand.

“Is she sitting on that log down that way?”

Joe turned around to see your from sitting on a log with your back to them. Joe nodded.

“Thanks Shift.” And without waiting for a response, Joe started trudging through the snow.

A lot has happened since Normandy. With time, you both got closer, if that was even possible. With that, you both bickered a lot. Replacements would come in and assume the two of you were a married couple that enlisted together. The funny thing was when they asked, the NCOs didn’t tell them otherwise.

You had opened up to him about life back home, too. You told him everything from you first pet’s name to your first heartbreak. You recounted painfully awkward Thanksgiving dinners the one time your brothers put Brian’s pet frog in your bed as a prank and how you jumped so high, you could have hit the ceiling. He enjoyed hearing about your life back home, but he thinks you’re doing it more for yourself rather than just for the sake of telling stories. It was one of the only ways it could keep you from flying off the rails.

Joe finally made his way over to you and plopped himself down on the log next to you.

“Y/N, where were ya? Sink just dropped by for a lovely visit, did ya hear him? Nuts!” Joe laughed, and bumped your shoulder.

When he looked over at you, you weren’t laughing. You weren’t even looking at him. Your gaze was fixed straight ahead, unblinking and blank. Your knees were brought up to your chin as you shivered in the cold.

“Sweetheart, you good?” Joe softened his tone, feeling the heavy silence in the air. It was almost suffocating when her expression remained the same. He moved to kneel in front of you and put his hands on top of your knees. “Y/N? What’s the matter, talk to me.”

You finally looked at him, eyes turning glassy. You swallowed thickly as you grabbed the opened envelope sitting by you on the log. You held it up and took a shaky breath.

“Letter from my mom.” Your voice cracked as you spoke and looked at the neat cursive handwriting on the front. Joe saw your lip began to quaver as you took a quick inhale. “My brother’s dead.” You handed Joe the envelope with a shaky hand.

“Jesus…” Joe took the envelope from you and examined it with darting eyes.

“He was in Micronesia somewhere. Peleliu or some shit like that…” You wiped a stray tear from your cheek and looked at your hands in your lap. “Killed in action.”

“Y/N I- fuck…I’m so sorry-”

“Merry fucking Chrismas, right?” You whispered. Then, you broke down. You head fell into your hands as you started to sob. Joe jumped up and held you.

“Shhh…hey you’re okay…” Joe muttered into your hair, rocking you back and forth as you cried into his coat. He felt your hands grip at his jacket in tight fists, clinging to him. He didn’t really know what to do, he’s never seen you cry before. Not even when you rolled your ankle while running Currahee in Toccoa and you still made it back down the hill. You never cried.

After a couple of minutes, you calmed down and you were reduced to whimpers. Joe pulled away and wiped his thumbs across your wet cheeks. Your scratch from Normandy and had scarred over now.

You leaned forward and pressed your forehead to his, you eyes screwed shut.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize. Never fuckin’ say sorry for something like that.” Joe snapped back sternly. You nodded.

“Okay.”

You opened your eyes to look at Joe staring back at you with a gentle intensity. His hands still cupped your cheeks and held you close. Joe glanced at your lips before licking his dry ones. Despite being chapped and swollen from crying, you still looked just as beautiful that night you were all dressed up for the party. And he wanted to kiss you even more now than he did then.

“Y/L/N, you okay?” Malarkey had just happen to walk by the scene in front of him, his can of food in hand. You pulled your head from Lieb’s hands, sighing. Joe’s hands drop to his lap with a loud smack.

“Yeah, fine.” You smiled tightly, turning to Malarky.

“You sure? You don’t look too good. Maybe go and grab some hot chow?-”

“On it, Malark.” You cut him off, followed by a curt nod. Malarkey turned his hands up in surrender and walked off to join Muck and Penkala.

You grab the letter off the snowy ground and stuff it in your pocket.

“I’m goin’ for a walk, I’ll catch ya later, Lieb.” You muttered quickly before standing.

“I’ll go with you-”

“No that’s fine, Joe. Go grab some lunch, I’ll be back.” Just like that, you zipped off into the fog without another word or a glance back.

Later that night, he walked past your foxhole on the way back from taking a piss. And there you were, wrapped up in a blanket, shivering, with a cigarette hanging from your mouth.

“Thought you didn’t smoke.” He whispered, not wishing to startle you or disturb other foxholes. You look up at him from your hole and shrugged as you took the cigarette from your lips and blew out a stream of smoke.

“I don’t.” You said simply. Joe nodded.

“You gonna be okay?”

“…I will be.” You assured him.

Suddenly BOOM! German artillery started bursting in the sky. Joe jumped into your foxhole with you as you both tried to shield yourself from any shrapnel. The blasts were short lived and soon they were given the all clear. Joe looks over at you as he moves to get to his feet.

“Thanks for your hospitality.” He said with a little laugh. “I guess I’ll see you-”

“Joe?”

“Yeah?”

“Stay with me. Please.” Your voice was so soft and meek, it surprised Joe. Your eyes were pleading. “Just for the night.”

“Yeah, of course.” Joe nodded, laying back down on the dirt.

“Thank you.” You whispered before you cuddled into Joe’s chest.

Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly to him. He fell asleep almost instantaneously.

However, when he woke up in the morning, you were gone.

5. The Truck Ride

You didn’t talk to Joe a lot after that. You really didn’t talk to anybody after that. After you got news of your brother, you really didn’t want to talk to anybody. With Joe, you wanted to talk to him, but you were afraid to because after that night, you were so afraid because you might have been falling for the guy. So, you kept your distance the rest of your time in Bastogne, and barely spared him a glance while Easy was up in Haguenau. He really could have used your company then, Webster was being a real pain in the ass. You finally started talking to him again in the back of the trucks on your way to Bavaria.

“Can I have one of those?” You croaked as Lieb lit a cigarette.

“So she speaks? You finally talkin’ to me now?” Joe sneered with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, smoke billowing from his lips.

“Joe-”

“You barely spoken a word to me since Christmas and, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, it’s April now and the first thing you say to me is you ask me for a cigarette?”

“It’s a start, isn’t it?” You mutter, not breaking eye contact with the seething eyes piercing back at you. “Look I’m sorry, I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

“The nerve on you-”

“Quit soundin’ like my mother, Joe. My brother died and suddenly you get all butt hurt when I needed some goddamn space for two fucking seconds. I apologized, now can I or can I not have a cigarette?”

Joe looked at you for a moment. Your eyes had lost some luster he remembers you having a long time ago. Your eyes are sunken like you haven’t slept since Normandy. Even your hair had lost the brightness in color. He sighed as he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a cigarette.

“I don’t know, can you?” He says with the slightest hint of a smile creeping onto his face. He hands you the cigarette. You take it and put it in your mouth and lean forward, looking expectantly at Joe. “Oh, you want me to light it for you too, your majesty?”

“Mhmm.” You hum with a nod of your head and a roll of Joe’s eyes as he pulls out his Zippo.

“I have to do everything in this fucking relationship-”

“Shut up.” You laugh as you pull the lit cigarette from your mouth and blow smoke in his face. He smirked at you, waving a hand in front of his face.

“You know, it’s not very polite to blow smoke in someone’s face. You’re being a bit of an ass.”

You smiled and shook your head in disbelief. “Deja vu.”

“Tell me about it.” Joe smiled back.

After a moment of silence, David decided to pipe up.

“What about you, Y/N?” Webster asked.

“What about me?”

“What are you gonna do when you get home?” Webster took a bite his food as he awaited for your answer. You ran a hand through your hair as it flowed in the breeze.

“Home? Jeez, I don’t know. Hug my family?” You laughed.

“We’re all gonna do that. I mean life stuff. Got any plans?”

“Well,” you paused, thinking about it for a second. You haven’t given it much thought lately. “I’d start off by getting a job. Maybe waitressing or something like that, that’s what I did before the war. Then,” you paused, glancing up at Joe, who was already staring at you with some kind of look in his eyes. You couldn’t look away.

“Then I’d probably find someone to settle down with. Have a kid or two, and try to have a normal fucking life that is far away from this shithole. Try and be happy.” You finished but taking a drag.

“That’s a good goal.”

“Gee, thanks Web.” You muttered sarcastically.

“That sounds real nice.” Joe said, a soft smile appearing on his lips. You nodded.

“Sure does.”

After making a stop, the seating got switched up. Now you were sitting next to Joe, his arm around you as you fell asleep on his shoulder. Joe looked down at you, warmth spreading in his chest for the first time in a long time. You were back, and you looked so peaceful.

“Jesus, Lieb, just kiss her already.” Web laughed across from Joe.

“You’re lookin’ at her with the biggest heart eyes I’ve ever seen.” Luz chuckled. “Are you ever gonna tell her how you feel?”

“Will you both shut up?!” Joe spoke between his teeth. “She could wake up and hear you knuckleheads.”

“Lieb, she’s knocked out cold.” Perconte observed from down the row.

“Can you blame her??” Joe asked, his voice suddenly sorrowful. The boys glanced at you. They had to admit, they haven’t seen you actually sleep since you found out about Stan.

The car goes over a rather large bump in the road, waking you up with a start.

“Morning, Sunshine! How was your nap?” Luz drawled throwing his baseball in the air. You yawned and lay back against Joe.

“Fine. I had a dream about you, Pretty Boy.” You muttered, closing your eyes again.

“Oh did you now?!” Luz exclaimed, throwing Joe a knowing look and smirk.

“Pray tell.” Web piped in.

“Well,” You put your chin on Joe’s shoulder and turned to face him. “You, sir,” you poked his cheek. “Were going on and on and on about something beyond boring when I up and punched you square in the jaw. And even in my dreams, you don’t change a bit, because even after I hit you, you would not shut the hell up!”

This made the entire car laugh, even Joe. When he turned his head to you, he bumped his nose with yours.

“Sorry.” He murmured, pulling his head back a little. You shrugged.

“It’s okay.” and in a brave moment, you leaned forward and rubbed the tip of your nose to his in an eskimo kiss. “G’night.” and with that, you fell against his shoulder and started to snore. Everyone in the car was staring at him with wide eyes and hanging mouths. Joe could only shrug.

Easy Company had decided to play a company baseball game. It was a warm day, partially cloudy. It was perfect.

“I wanna play!” You squealed. Buck arched a brow at you.

“You know how?”

You scoffed and grabbed a glove out of the box next to the batting cage. “Buck, I grew up the middle child of two boys. Yes, I know how to play.”

“Alright, play ball then, I guess.” He laughed, his chest rumbling.

After playing for a few hours, hitting a line drive and throwing a couple guys out, they jokingly declared you Easy Company’s Rookie of the Year. The peace was disturbed by Speirs.

“Easy Company! School circle!”

As the company gathered around Major Winters, Liebgott pulled you under his arm and you wrapped an arm around his middle.

“You never told me you played ball so well.” He said barely above a whisper. You snickered and leaned up to whisper in his ear.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Liebgott.”

“Touché.”

“Listen up!” Winters announced, glancing at the two of you with a small smile. “We’ve got some news. This morning, President Truman received the unconditional surrender from the Japanese. The war is over.”

You felt like the air had been punched out of your lungs. For a couple moments no one moved, probably afraid that if they did, they would wake up from this crazy dream we all must be having. You laughed a little and looked up at Joe. He smiled and nodded.

“We did it.” He grinned.

“Yeah we did!” You responded. Soon, the men started to disperse. You however, jumped into Joe’s arms and wrapped your legs around his torso as he held you up.

“We made it!” You squealed. Joe laughed and put you down.

“I knew we would.”

Before he could say anything else, you grabbed his face and smashed your lips onto his. He responded immediately by cradling the back of your head and holding you as close as possible. You could hear cheering from the men around you.

“Fuckin’ finally!”

“It’s about time.”

“We’ve only waited three damn’ years for that to happen.”

“I don’t know if I’m more relieved that the war is over or that their finally sucking faces.”

“Yes! Hey Bull, you owe me thirty bucks!”

When you broke apart, Joe was panting with the biggest smile you have ever seen on his face.

“Come back home to San Francisco with me? We could make that dream of yours happen.”

“The one where I punch you in the face?” Your face scrunched up in confusion.

“No, dufus,” he laughed as he cupped your cheeks. “Settle down, fall in love, get hitched.” He kissed the tip of your nose.

“Well I’m already in love with you, so you can check that off your list.” You grinned.

“God, I love you Y/N. Never leave my side.”

“I don’t plan on it. C’mon, let’s get home.”

Taglist:

@gottapenny

#band of brothers #band of brothers imagine #bob #bob imagine #imagine #request #anon #joe liebgott #joe liebgott imagine #joseph liebgott #joseph liebgott imagine #liebgott #liebgott imagine #slowburn #slow burn

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best--strategist · 5 years ago

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ramble under the cut. nothing exactly coherent, just me pretty much writing my process into scavenger hell and other things

Fun fact about me i just remembered about my early scavenger/rp days

When I first got into the comics I didn’t care for the scavenger and just like skipped over their parts in the comic my first 2-3? reads, I genuinely don’t know why. But by the fourth I decided to give them a shot and i thought they were pretty eh cos they kinda just popped in out of nowhere and I felt they didn’t really contribute anything worth while and I paid very little attention to them.

It wasn’t until I got to the “he needs me or I need him”* part of the comic that I started growing an interest in them cos I saw that and thought ‘oh family??????????????????’ and then I got super into them after that. But I only really cared for Misfire and Fulcrum. Spinister Krok and Crankcase straight up never registered in my mind for about a year.

also despite how much i loved Fulcrum I confused him for Krok or Crankcase a lot and misspelled Spinister’s name twice as much because Misfire was really the only one I paid attention to lmao

I think I only started paying attention to the others when I saw them mentioned in fics and realized I knew shit about them, but even after i looked them up I was still pretty meh about them but started looking at more fanart** including all of them rather than just the two. Though despite getting more into all of them I’m pretty sure I didn’t really care for Crank for a good while and absolutely despised Krok. There was no reason. I just didn’t like him. Until I saw him in SpinKrok fanart then I started liking him but only a little lol

It wasn’t until a few months later that the shitpost/rp blogs started popping up that they caught my interest a little more because I saw all the scavs getting blogs put up and they reblogged some art that made me warm up to them some more. But then, I realized, there was no Kork blogs anywhere.***

I don’t know why but some part of me decided that there should be one to get thrown into the chaos. The second I created the blog i almost instantly regretted it because the fact that 1) i didn’t like him and 2) I was very much nervous about talking to everyone else but I just kept it going and interacted with anyone i managed to work the courage up to talk to.****

Wouldn’t you know it the blog ended up making me like the bastard and also the other two. It didn’t help that a week or so after his creation I was at target and he was one of two transformers they had and seeing as i couldn’t pass up the opportunity i took him.***** That shockingly did not quell my love for his character, or for the others for that matter.

And now here I am 3 years later. I still very much love all the scavengers but clearly Krok, and Spin though merely by proxy, are at the top of my favorite characters list and my love for them only grows.

More info bellow that doesn’t fit in the ramble above but i still wanted to make not of

*That line made me ship Mis and Grim for like a week. I instantly dropped that for FulFire though because 1) I liked the colors more and 2) Grim never grew on me unfortunately. I think he’s cool and his growth with the scavengers is nice, but I just couldn’t get into him as his own character and i’m honestly pretty sad cause other seem to love him

**I met someone I consider a good acquaintance/friend through fanart. I just kinda jumped into their blog and they saw I was reblogging scavenger stuff and tagged me in it once or twice and we interacted a bit after that. I’m fairly certain they were one of the first people, if not the first person, I interacted with online and in the fandom and kinda helped me realize, “wait i can have friends online”. I think if they were to read this they might know who they are and I hope they’re doing well.

***Years later it has come to my attention that there was Krok and other scavenger blogs when all of ours started popping up. Just that theirs were starting to die out and lemme tell you, I’ve never been so sad to see 2+ archived Krok blogs leading to 4+ other scavenger blogs who have also been archived/deleted. fairly certain my blogs lead to some deleted blogs too :’(

****I think in my first blog I only ever interacted, frequently, with three people! One of them is the second person I think I ever interacted with a lot ooc and that I consider a good friend as well. I still find it funny that our first ever interaction was Krok just yelling at their Fulcrum. The third person seems to have stopped rping. One of the last posts I saw from them came under bad circumstances and I hope they’re doing well too. Mum, or anyone who knows mum, if you by any chance see this I hope things got better and I’m sorry I never interacted more. The Fourth person pops in every once in a while. I never talked much with them ooc but the times I did they were honestly really chill and they still are! Also sorry we don’t interact much!

*****Honesty I still remember that when I went into that target that fine summer day I was fully intent on getting a Misfire or Cosmos. They didn’t have a Misfire and the Cosmos were out of stock. The only options were the last Krok and like ten Tailgates. I took Krok and have since lost his tail 😂

#ooc #long post #very long post #rambling #about me #about others #kinda #there's a brief mention of other rpers i met in my first year of rping but I won't tag cause idk how they feel about being fully mentioned #in my incoherent ramble lmao #also taking a small break from here cos i'm cleaning around the house #and i am tired #i'm still popping in every once in a while just that there will be no other long posts like this one for a while skdjfdsfsfskfsdf #if i don't pop back in soon know that i care for all of you and want you all to stay safe

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go-diane-winchester · 6 years ago

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How incorrect tagging contributes to SPN ship wars

@radioabsurd left this very impassioned rant about the behavior of SPN fandom in the main tags. Let me point out that there are things here, that I would say are correct. There are things however, that I am not happy with. I am not certain about this person's sincerely. Let me put it that way. I edited bits that contained blasphemy because I don't want that nonsense in my post. I also added bold font to the bits that made me smirk. Other than that, everything is as it appears. My commentary is in italics and brackets. Thank to doll face for forwarding this to me.

Supernatural Fandom

If you hate the actual angel Jensen Ackles, don’t talk to me, like my shit or any of that.

[A polite suggestion for people to ignore her]

If you hate the actual angel Misha Collins, fuck off and don’t talk to me or like my shit.

[Disrespecting Misha warrant the use of profanity.]

If you hate on the actual angel Jared Padalecki, please block me or you will get blocked.

[A please is thrown in, so the politeness is back. Also, note the order in which these actors are mentioned. Any other person would mention Misha last. But no, Jared gets last place, like an afterthought.]

I’m so tired of this hate people give each other in the fandom with the ship wars and shit.

[Honey, I would like to point out that all the hate, especially the violent ones directed to the actors, comes solely from the destiel shippers. Everyone else retaliates.]

I FUCKING ship #destiel and #cockles, but in no way do I think J2 are not important to each other. They are the bestest of friends. In no way do I hate on Daneel, Vicki, or Gen(They are all actually queens).

[Well, at least you agree that the Js friendship is hated on by the Misha shippers. The wife hate is a landmine. Do people hate the wives because they ship the boys or because they genuinely found nothing to like in the wives? I don't really care much for an actor's relatives. But if the boys are happy, whatever rocks their boats. Besides, who they marry is not my business. Out of sight. Out of mind. If I like them, I would have no reason to go overboard and call them 'queens'. But that is just my opinion on the subject. Julia Roberts was never called a queen, despite her success. Just pointing that out. Do I think they deserve any hate? I don't know them well enough to answer that one. But if you put yourself out there, you are going to get the bad attention with the good. As long as the hate doesn't extend to death threats, I say freedom of speech. Just tag it appropriately.]

Even If I don’t ship #wincest I’m not going to FUCKING hate on somebody for their ship because guess what! I FUCKING ship #thorki and #t'cherik and wow I must be such a disgusting human being but these are freaking fictional characters and aren’t real! (Not talking about real people ships)

[This seems friendly enough until you get to the second mention of this topic.]

If you don’t agree with something please FUCKING get over it and block it or ignore it.

[You should see the replies I get, from hellers I call out of tagging incorrectly. They don't block or ignore.]

Jeez, and all the ships hate on the wives and the other people on the show, not just one ship. XXXX, why am I even in this fandom.

[I concur. There are haters of ships and people. But unless you go into their appropriate tags, you will never find them. Guess who tags all their hateful filth, including calling Jensen a homophobe, in the main tags? Yep, the destihellers.]

Also, if I get freaking hate on shipping #thorki (they’re not even real brothers okay, get over it) or #t'cherik (in the comics theyre not cousins thank you very much) and your in the supernatural fandom then your actually the problem.

[I don't know how to tell you this, but Sam and Dean are not real brothers either. They are fictional. So basically, in an offhanded manner, you have kind of insulted the people, you are telling others not to insult. Just thought I would point that out.]

haters get on my nerves 👌🏽

[You are absolutely right. I cant stand them either. Especially the ones who tell Jared to kill himself and threaten to kill Jensen. All destihellers. I don't deal with haters as much. Because I believe it is your prerogative to hate whoever you want. As long as you tag it properly. But I draw the line at death threats, because the hate has moved into malevolent territory. That is why I don't go onto the anti tags. Let them hate. But when possible felony becomes an issue, I speak up.]

(there might be spelling errors but that’s life so what eves)

[True! My typing is atrocious.]

My issue with this rant:

I appreciate the effort. Don't get me wrong. But there are issues presenting themselves here. This rant is addressed to the entire fandom. The problem is that is doesn't differentiate between the instigators and the retaliators. There is an assumption, within the rant, that everyone should like the same things in the same manner without personal opinion or prejudice. And to be honest, that kind of uniformity in human psychology, is unheard of in human societies. We are all different. We cannot be expected to enthusiastically love anyone or anything unless we have been given viable reason to. The other baffling thing on this post is the anti Vicki tag. Interestingly, there is no other post with this tag. As far as I can see, nobody hates Victoria. People are generally quite indifferent towards her.

So you are basically giving fandom and onlookers the impression that this woman gets hated when, in reality, she doesn't even force a blimp in the radar. The only time I saw her being discussed, was when I watched in bemused amazement , as J2 tinhats were comparing her to one of the Js wives and talking about how much more nicer she was and how they respected her more. So those particular J fans don't hate Victoria. Do Misha's fans hate her? If so, how are they tagging their hate. I haven't seen anything.

You post makes no mention of actor harassment, cast and crew harassment, threats of arson and vandalism and actual attacks on fans by other fans. There is a different between someone saying ''I cant stand Vicky'' and ''I am going to burn Vicky's home down, while she is still in it''. A similar arson threat was sent to Jensen by a Misha fan. Receipts for this, and other threats, are on my blog. To my logic, death threats are a more pressing issue than hate. All of the aforementioned are by destiel shipping and Misha stanning perpetrators. To people who are not aware of this reality, if they read this post, they will assume that everyone in the fandom is hateful. They won't know about the truth. So no, all the shippers do not have an equal hand in trouble making. There are some that are worse than others.

Finally, your tagging is contradictory and troublesome. Tumblr recognizes 30 tags only, but the most effective are the first five. For a post of this nature, you shouldn't have tagged Danneel twice. Danneel has fans from her other endeavors. like One Tree Hill, who are not SPN fans. They don't need to see this drama, which has nothing to do with them. So that tag is a general/main tag and you should stay out of it. The last two tags are for ships outside our fandom, and basically what you have done, by including those tags, is exposed outsiders to the dirty laundry that this fandom is known for. This is where SPN's faulty reputation comes from. ''Mentions'' is also a very widely used external tag. It has not an SPN related tag, neither is it related to this post. Tagging this post under that tag, also brings this fandom into disrepute. The tags on this post, does this fandom no favors.

The post is not a hate post, [you are reprimanding all and sundry over putrid behavior] and therefore does not belong in the anti tags. If you are trying to right the wrongs of this fandom, do it in the main ship tags, for the whole shipping section of fandom to see. You cant tell people how to feel about someone. And posting this particular rant in the anti tags, is essentially you telling those people not to hate whoever they genuinely cant stand. If you are talking about a ship, tag the ship. If you tag your post #anti Jensen, you are telling people, this post is about why I hate Jensen. That is the point of that tag. That is not exactly what your post is about, is it? Now I tag in the main tags, and not in the anti tags because I tackle any subject that is going to cause a death threat to reach Jensen. That is the policy behind my tagging system. Your tagging system doesn't seem to make sense. You cant tag Jensen and anti Jensen. These two tags contradict each other.

Don't tag the characters on a TV show, because that is not what your post is about. People who are non-shipping fans of Dean Winchester, don't want to be bombarded with this shipping-related rant. This is not courteous to them. Also, if you misspell a tag, the tag has consequently been rendered useless. So there is essentially no point in having that tag. Just replace or remove it. Its not that hard. Also, I don't think you know what a bibro is. There are non-shippers amongst them. So why are they a part of this ship-war rant? You can't tag SPN or Supernatural, because the entire fandom doesn't need to see this. The entire fandom are not shippers. You were not addressing the entire fandom, so leave them out of it. In fact, your title is incorrect too.

Judging by the crux of your post, the tags should have been:

Destiel, Wincest, Cockles, J2 Tinhats, Wincestiel

All the ship names are present. So anyone who is involved with these ships will read them and understand. If you want to add more tags [which I don't recommend] then add the following:

Sabriel, sastiel

I would tag these two ships because they are ships that three actors are a part of. I don't recommend tagging the actor's names, because the post is not about them, but about shipper behavior. They are merely mentioned as the motivation behind the hate, by your logic. Their names are still general tags, and people searching Jared Padalecki might hate shipping and this post will give credulity to their hatred because it is invasive and makes shippers looks bad....well, worse would be the apt word to use.

I am conflicted about the motive of the rant. No, I don't believe any of the actors are ''actual angels''. They are human and flawed, some more than others. I don't think their wives of sovereign control of anything. But I appreciate the effort in bridge-building. The doll face that sent me this, found the wincest remark offensive, but I am willing to give your the benefit of the doubt on that one, because I assume it was an honest mistake. I am not a wincest fan though, which I why I am reacting a little differently. Perhaps, because I am not emotionally invested.

P.S.: Speaking of wincest, someone told me that even wincest ship posts are being tagged with the actor's and character's names. I don't care what you ship, but by using general tags, you are not driving on your lane. Stop mistagging. Unless Jared Padalecki is really pregnant with someone's lovechild, don't tag him in an mpreg post. I don't think he wants people knowing about his baby bump. Tag politely. Tags like Top!Sam and Bottom!Cas are NOT general tags, so that is ok. But Sam Winchester and Jared Padalecki, for example, are general tags, so keep your shippy stuff away from it. Wincest fans, its your job to clean house.

The reason why I am lenient with the wincest ship and J2 tinhatters, is because they are not repeat and frequent offenders, and they don't send death threats to actors. In fact, if you search the wincest tag, you find a small handful of offenders, and a destiel offender who tagged her post weecest and wincest even though it was about destiel. Now, why do that?

Respect the tags. Respect the actors. Stop behaving like SPN owes you something, and keep your fantasy on your side of the fandom.

Please excuse the typos.

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