#missa is set for life

[mossy123302]

I feel like...we have skipped over the whole prison arc-

Because when I saw it. I was instantly smacked by nostalgia of Cops and Robbers, and... No one, as far I'm aware, made a whole au about it-

Like-

Prisoner Philza & Guard Missa.

Or better yet, a criminal Missa who is disguised AS a guard, and is trying to break Roier and his boyfriend Cellbit out of prison. However, Cellbit said he refused to leave behind his father figure, aka Philza whose the most well known criminal for his entire crimes against the Federation.

Now Missa is sweating bullets, because he didn't sign up to do a whole jail break. He was confident before, because he planned ahead but now he's gotta save a famous well known guy, or else Cellbit will refuse to go and that means Roier won't leave either. He has to add more months to this whole jail break.

So Missa bit back his fears, and hesitantly agreed that he will find a way to help Philza break out. He's never seen this infamous man, and now he was about to once he finally rose through the ranks where he was trusted enough by the prison guards to bring meals to Philza.

They kept Philza much more isolated from people, to ensure, that he wouldn't come up with any schemes or ideas. The corridor was more dim, barely lit up...and it was making Missa regret every decision possible. He should have just left and never look back, but curse his heart. He couldn't leave Roier behind, and if Cellbit is familia. Then so be it—

With shaky hands, Missa unlocked the door to Philza's cell and slowly entered inside. He was aware that he wasn't supposed to enter, in fact, there was a food slot for a reason. But Missa is literally trying to get the guy out, so... He definitely has to make up some lies to tell the guards on why he was inside the cell.

Missa immediately froze when he heard slight shuffling coming from the dim cell room. He could barely make out a silhouette that was rising up from the bed, and faintly...he could see large black wings flutter and spread out, which Missa assume, may be Philza's wings stretching out. Missa swallowed his fear down his throat, and carefully he set down the tray of food on the ground, making an very obvious clatter noise which immediately there was a loud crack which made Missa quietly wince.

Missa slowly looked up, and immediately almost tripped backwards when he saw blue eyes stare at him, almost as if Philza was trying to read his soul. He nervously grinned at the infamous crow father and awkwardly waved.

"..Hola, es...tu...you're...you're Philza, si?" Missa quietly asked. Philza's eyes slightly narrowed, contemplating answering but considering this fool of a guard was inside his cell and might...die, or get fired immediately for entering his cell. Philza knew that was a strict rule, no guards were allowed in his cell unless it was for trial related stuff.

"...Whose asking" Philza finally said.

"...Cellbit..." Missa quietly replied. "B..Bolas? He said...to use that word? I..No sé, I'm...just here to break you out. Please...I wasted enough time here.."

Oh

Oh.

Missa is breaking him out. He was in this place for a reason, and Cellbit sent him.

Well, Philza can adjust to this. It was good to finally have something new, an actual plan forming in his head. He was going to finally escape from this place, save the others, hell burn this place down while he's at it.

Philza hummed thoughtfully. "..What's your name"

"...Missa"

"Well, Missa, I think you already know my name, but it's Philza. Honored to be working with you, for now until my escape"

"....Yes"

"You also really shouldn't be in here, mate"

Missa pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a tired sigh. He ...he was still trying to come up with a lie for that, but hell, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. "Just...knock me out"

Yes, Missa does eventually get Philza out once he understood how to get rid of those bracelets that prisoner's have. The bracelets were like shock collars basically, so it'll hurt a lot and signal guards that a prisoner was escaping...

Philza happily burns the place down, while Baghera, Cellbit, Slime, Foolish, Jaiden and Carre quietly chant "Bolas" behind him.

Missa is just staring at the burning building, already making his will and retirement letter. But... unfortunately he won't get far since he already caught the Crow Father's attention and his heart.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I'm watching the awards show VOD rn and

nvm post canceled I immediately forgot what I was saying, THEY'RE SO CUTE

[finnitesimal]

wholly unlikely because stream times are Fucked but I think etoiles/missa would be hilarious

their first interaction was literally etoiles' handing him almost a full set of enchanted diamond armor and one of the best swords in the game and Missa knowing about 5% of the game mechanic much less the mods or attack damage stats reacts about the same if he were given a wooden shield and an iron sword which is "oh thank you how nice"

etoiles' humor is very scathing and sarcastic and when its pointed towards himself missa's going to be on that instantly

etoiles also does not have the already minimal filter phil has. I want him to tell missa his pvp sucks dick and throw him bare ass into a dungeon

also because i think if missa shows him one of the gold backpacks he still has etoiles might pass away in real life

[catnipaddictt]

Abstract

wc: 2.1k

series masterlist ⭑ co-creator @memoiich

You had finally moved away from your hometown. A final answer to your undying search for independence. A trait your mothers whipped tongue had tried to rein back for years. Something that had very clearly failed. The thought alone made you smirk a bit as you stood before your new home. The Alderaan apartments were a choice at best. Very cheap for the location being so close to the centre of the city but a little decrepit. Still it felt like a palace to you right now.

You made your way up to the 4th floor, the highest of the crumbling building. Leaving you to look out to the curtains of the slightly nicer hotel on the other side of the street. Grabbing your suitcase, you unpacked your luggage before coming to the realisation that you had no food in your new home. And of course it just had to be dark outside, evening having set. After overthinking your options you decided to ask your neighbour for some eggs. Dragging yourself to your neighbour’s door with your metaphorical tail between your legs, you knocked on the door.

A strange being poked its face through the slightest gap possible, it looked around worried. You didn’t know if it was to look for trouble or to find it. After the anxiety-writing look, the creature opened the creaking door. Now that you could see it, It was clearly a Gungan.

“Hello. Missa Jar Jar Binks. Why are you at misssas door?“ he questions “Hey, I'm your new neighbour. I was wondering if I could borrow some eggs?“ You say, a bit unsure of the Gungan in front of you. “Missa loves eggs. Sun sun or scrambled, lovely for my tumtum” jar jar snickers at the end. ”So… Can I use the eggs? You question once again. “Missa doesn’t have any eggs for sunsun but missa could go to the store for stuff and stuff.” Not only did you think of going to the store before you were now massively disappointed and also extremely tired. The less effort option was clearly the wrong one.

“No it's fine I will go myself thank you anyways.” Before finishing Jar Jar was already speaking, “It's not a big dealio, you newbie don't know the way like missa does.” Before you could protest against this clearly exhausting task, he was already out of the door and started walking towards the staircase. Not wanting to be rude, you followed. It took 17 minutes longer than normal to get to the store because Jar Jar wanted to ‘cut a cornerio’. Once at the store Jar Jar started to argue after eating a RAW egg “As a tasty jum jum” Only after 36 min of arguing and you finally offering to just buy the dozen did you start to make your way back home which also took a small hour.

You could finally bid Jar Jar goodnight. You got home just to cook the damn eggs ‘sun-sun’ style and went to bed in the early morning, you already knew this new life was going to be hard at first.

Waking up had never been so hard before, but the alarm was ringing and today was an important one. It was your first day at your new job at the paper company, ‘Paper Force’. Paper Force was located pretty far away, you would have to drive past the mustafar part of the city, making it a long trip for a very tired driver. Prepping for work wasn't the worst as you had laid out your work outfit the night before.

You got in your beat-up 2002 beetle and started the 50 minute commute. At the 20 minute point your car started to rumble, not just a soft snore, no, a rumble. 10 minutes later and you were stuck by the side of the road. You search an auto shop on your hologram immediately. The only car mechanic that wasn't 2 hours away was a place called ‘MustaCar’. Having no time to waste, you called the number.

45 long minutes later an old pickup truck pulls up behind your still-not-starting beetle. By this point you were frankly very annoyed. You were already half an hour late to your new job, and it didn't seem like you were going to get there soon. And to make things worse, you slept bad last night, meaning you were now rather sleep deprived.

The door to the pickup truck swings open with a clunk, clearly well used. A man in his early to mid 20’s steps out of the vehicle, he reaches up and moves his dark-blond curls out of his field of vision. He wears an oil-stained long sleeved button up, of which you cannot tell the original colour, as well as a pair of dirtied jeans. He spots you, puts his hands in his pockets and stalks over, clearly in no hurry.

“I was just thinking you weren't going to bother showing up” you snapped at him harshly. “Well, sorry Miss, the rest of the world doesn’t revolve around you” You let out a sharp breath at his words. “Excuse me, just look at my car and do your job”. You were fed up with this day already and now you had to deal with a know-it-all, stuck-up, man-child of a mechanic. “Parents didn’t teach you manners I see, now what seems to be the matter here? So I can do my job” He walks towards your car, popping the lid. You roll your eyes at him before speaking. “Well she won't go” He rolls up his sleeves, “Figured that much” he states. Your brows furrow in annoyance, you don’t have time for his attitude, “something started making noise and now she doesn't want to run.” He leans forward to observe your car’s engine. “She, huh, does the lovely lady have a name as well?” You can hear his smirk through his words. Your ears turn red “Shelby, the car is called Shelby”. The mechanic lets out a harsh laugh as he turns to something unknown “An old lady I suppose then, with a name like that”. You let out a huff and turn away.

“Dead Battery and the terminals are corroding”. You jump slightly, having zoned out. “Sorry?” you question. “You have a dead battery and its terminals are also corroding. Oh and you have a break problem, that's what the noise was”. You stand there a bit perplexed, “Uh what does that mean?”. “It means you aren’t gonna be able to drive Shelby until you get her fixed”. He says the name of your car amusingly. “So can you do it then?” You ask, checking your hologram for the time, you were almost an hour late already. “Well that's my job isn’t it?” He raises an eyebrow. You sigh, clearly this guy thought highly of himself. “How much and how long?” you demand, patient wearing thin at this point. “Well the battery change is gonna be about 150, plus the corrosion, about 20, and the grinding breaks, another 150 credits” he pauses before speaking again, “it’ll take a bit, have to order in the parts, could take a while, a few weeks”. “A few weeks!” you all but shout.

You pace away, trying to think. You were very very late, had little to no sleep, and now your beloved car wasn’t going, plus you might have to wait weeks to get her back running. “Fine, do what you must” you bark out. Hopefully this man could fix Shelby quickly, and you would never have to deal with him or another car problem ever again. “Need anything out of her? Or are you good?” He asks. You walk over to Shelby, grab your bag, morning caffeine fix, and sweater. You shut the door gently. The guy speaks, walking back over to the pickup truck “Okay then, I’ll take her into the shop and she’ll be good as new soon. Oh and I will probably need some contact details, unless you never want to see your car again” He walks back carrying a piece of blue-ish paper and a pen with the ‘MustaCar’ logo on the side, passing both to you. You write down your information and hand it back to his expecting hand. “You should come by the shop, I’m sure the guys would love that” And with a smirk and a wink, he turns, secures Shelby, and gets back into the pickup. You watch as he drives off with your prized possession, your Shelby, If he ruins her, he will have hell to pay. You had now been walking for 30 minutes, with your workplace still another 20 minutes away. Your hair sticks to your forehead with sweat and your feet are starting to ache. The music playing in your ears is a nice distraction from your situation as you stroll at pace. Finally after what feels like a millennium, you reach the building. The large blue letters spell ‘Paper Force’, meaning you haven’t gotten lost along the way. Making your way to the building, you check your reflection in a window, fix your hair, and give yourself a mental pep talk. Just go in, explain what happened, it will all be fine. At least you hope. With a deep breath and step inside.

Pulling up the shop with a rumble, the pickup-truck deposits his newest client's female car around the back. The fading MustaCar sign blinks slowly at him as he gets out the parked truck and steps foot on solid ground. The beetle named Shelby looks out of place among the beat up vehicles, and forgotten projects of the shop. “Anakin” A female voice yells from inside the garage before a young togruta steps out. She wears overalls and a pair of safety goggles on her head. “New project Snips” He says. “What's wrong with it? It looks pretty good to me” the togruta states as she walks over and runs a hand over the bonnet. “Battery is dead, corrosion, and breaks need new pads” Anakin explains, counting off each problem on his fingers. “We are gonna need to order stuff in for her”. The togruta laughs “Her?” she questions. Anakin sighs “Yes, Ahsoka, Her. Owner calls it Shelby". “Cute” Ahsoka shrugs “lets see what we can do”.

“Well the brake pads are definitely going to have to be replaced, there is basically nothing there” Ahsoka looks up as she speaks. “Thought as much, '' replies Anakin, as he wanders over with two cups of coffee, he passes one to Ahsoka. “Thanks”. “I placed an order for the new battery and brake pads, should take a week to arrive, but knowing the shipping times, it will probably take longer than that” Anakin says as he surveys Shelby. “At least she isn’t a complete wreck”. Ahsoka nods behind Anakin “speaking of wrecks, how is that project coming along ''. Anakin turns to look at the car sitting under a large tree. He had picked up the third generation Pontiac firebird from a man on his deathbed; it had been living in a barn for 20 years, rusted, and in desperate need of restoration. If it even could be saved. “It's a work in progress Snips”, “I don’t know, it is rusted pretty bad in some of it, it will take a genius to make it run again”, “Good thing i’m here then” He replies with a smile. Ahsoka rolls her eyes and drains the last of her drink before returning to their newest project.

A voice pulls Anakin out of his work “Anakin, I need to speak to you”. The voice comes from an elderly man, Palpatine, the creator and owner of MustaCar. “Of course” Anakin wipes the oil off his hands on a nearby cloth, before throwing it back on the table and following Palpatine. They enter the main office of the shop and Palpatine closes the door behind them. “Sith Auto Dominion is growing. At this rate we will be losing profit by the same time next month” Palpatine states. Sith Auto Dominion was the biggest competition for MustaCar, located on the other side of town on Geonosis Blvd. Over time the opposing shop had been taking their customers, meaning Palpatine and the people he employ have been having to cut costs however they can. “What can we do?” Anakin questions. “Not much my boy, we just have to be careful. I have owned this shop for 45 years and I will not see it go bankrupt” he takes a breath “You are my best mechanic Anakin, I cannot afford to lose you”. Palpatine walks around to his desk and sits down, gesturing at the seat opposite him. “I have a favour to ask you, Anakin”. “Anything” He replies. “Take your apprentice, go to Sith Auto, find out what they have that we don’t”

“Alright Snips, we have a job”

[isa-ghost]

do u have pissa hcs

YES I have one set here (platonic/deathduo) and a second here (more Missa-centric, based on my fic)

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Because you requested Pissa, these will jump between /p and /r though,, I guess most people would prob assume as much from a qpr LOL. I will definitely be referring back to ones I made in that blue set.

Phil is a damn good kisser and it lives in Missa's head rent free

But Missa's lips are soft as hell and that lives in Phil's head rent free so actually they're both winning here

It's no secret Missa's down abysmal. He wants Phil the way Fitza has had each other. Phil knows he has a romantic crush, he does not know he is desired that carnally.

Missa has an innate talent for unintentionally reminding Phil how nice it is to be hugged and held and physically loved, especially when dealing with extensive amounts of stress

Dare I say they are the "babe hold my flower" "I've got your flower babe, go kick their ass" couple. And that works both ways, they will both hold the flower AND beat someone's ass

It took a long time for Phil to get fully comfortable with it, but he trusts Missa enough to help him preen his feathers and take care of his wings

Speaking of wing care, Missa is going to be so horrified and guilty at the sight of Phil's wings post-possession bc he wasn't there to help Phil :) It's not his fault, but he'll think so anyway, just like Phil does with things <3

Phil has yet to see Missa genuinely pissed off at something for an extended period of time but those who have known him longer like Roier have told him stories and he wants to see it SO BAD. Angry life partner hot.

Phil absolutely loves how easy it is to fluster Missa. And it's not only easy bc of the crush. Which makes Missa SO salty bc if Phil could understand Spanish well enough, oh my god the shade of red Missa could make him turn.

THEIR COMMUNICATION. AAAAAAA. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET PHIL TO FUCKING SPILL HIS GUTS WHEN HE'S ENDURING THE HORRORS?? AND YET HE'LL VENT TO MISSA NO ISSUE AS LONG AS MISSA COAXES IT OUT OF HIM. RAAAAHHHHH.

These two love holding hands so much. Top tier sign of affection to them. (They will die a little if it's pointed out /pos)

Phil can and will pick Missa up like he weighs nothing. And carry him. Missa will screech every time he's picked up without fail bc he's never expecting it. And then he'll swoon about how his husband can carry him so effortlessly.

They both can get jealous sometimes, which is funny bc it's never problematic, the moment the other clocks they're getting jealous they're dramatically all over each other like OoOuUuUHUSBAND

They have an unspoken competition to one-up each other with gifts every time one wakes up and does something without the other (Phil's winning)

*Slams fist on table* STARGAZING DATES. MISSA SERENADING PHIL. PHIL INFODUMPING ABOUT SPACE. RAAAAHHHH

[mins-fins]

missa solemnis

&&. it's not everyday that you waltz with the prince that wants to rip out your tongue, but life is just full of surprises.

pairing: lee donghyuck x m!reader

genre: fairly random really, royalty au, enemies(?) to lovers

warnings: explicit language, reader and hyuck threaten each other the whole time, reader and hyuck both suck so bad but they both want each other so bad

word count: 1k

notes: this whole thing is just one scene from a bigger thing i wrote during the christmas break that i scrapped because i didn't think people would read it.. also because i'm not very good when it comes to writing people as enemies, also it was HORRIBLE i almost throw up every time i even glance at that mess 😞 anyway to celebrate nct dream reincarnation royal au i decided to just take this chunk and edit it so now at least it makes a little more sense 😭?? not my best writing truly but prince hyuck has not left my mind, i need to start writing more royal aus

"if i didn't know better, i'd think you wanted to kiss me right now".

there's a taunting tone in your voice that makes donghyuck glare, but he still doesn't get distracted, keeping up the same momentum he's had since you two began dancing no more than a few minutes ago.

there's a few good reasons you assumed he wanted to kiss you, mainly the direct contact he was making with your lips, he looked like he was about to move forward and connect his lips with yours with absolutely no shame, no regard for his reputation, his soon-to-be-wife, or his supposed "hatred" of you.

"you are an absolute moron".

"aren't i correct?"

donghyuck's poker face doesn't falter, no matter how much you tried to get a smile out of him with idiotic comments or jokes. "nope, wrong as always".

you hum at the princes response, somehow able to stay focused on waltzing as the two of you made your way around in a circle. donghyuck will never understand your way of easily multitasking, how you were somehow able to focus on annoying the absolute shit out of him as well as focus on not stepping on his foot at all.

he has to give it to you (begrudgingly though), it's impressive.

"so what is it then, your highness? you were just staring at my lips because you were bored? lost in your head?"

donghyuck's grip on your hand tightens at the sound of you using his title in such a mocking manner, oh he hates you, he hates you so much that if he had to choose, he'd rather kill you himself then have someone else do it.

you piss him off so much, your words piss him off so much, he wants to punch you, he wants to set you on fire and watch you burn, he wants to so badly stomp you into the ground and watch you suffer—

but holy shit you are absolutely gorgeous.

donghyuck can't even deny it, even with how much denial courses through his veins about topics such as this, anyone with two functioning eyes could see that you are just such a work of art. donghyuck can't even blame all the women that flock to the gates of your palace, hoping to score just one date with you.

"i was too busy thinking about the several torture methods that i could put you through".

"ah i am so hurt, you don't love me sweetheart?"

donghyuck has to use every single bit of patience remaining in his body to not step on your foot and leave you in pain on the dance floor.

the only reason he was dancing with you in the first place was because of a promise he made to his mother, his fiancée was off doing something else, gossiping with the servants, he assumes, she did always enjoy that, a favorite activity of hers that he's learned about from observing.

a dance like this should truly only be preserved for lovers, people who can stand each other, a pair who, with all things considered, won't bicker whilst they were supposed to be focusing on the music.

you two, with all things considered, are an example of everything opposite of that, you can't stand each other, you bicker all the time, and you are truly the furthest thing from lovers.

"call me that again and next time your head won't be attached to your body".

"i like to think you threaten me because you love me".

donghyuck snorts, finally, and you felt a surge of pride in your chest, you'd gotten a smile out of him. "your mind must be the messiest place ever.." he resorts to muttering, not knowing what other specific threats he could tell you. "an idiotic one too, do you ever think clearly? logically?"

you hum, displaying a lack of offense at the words. instead, you just lean closer, the distance between you two minimizing. "i only think about you, sweetheart".

a scoff leaves the prince's lips, he's absolutely done with you, but there's still a good minute left to the song, meaning there's still a good minute of you two waltzing in this ballroom left.

"i just cannot wait for this to be over.."

"you don't say!"

your enthusiasm pisses off donghyuck, but he doesn't step on your foot like he wanted, instead pulling you forward harshly, causing for a yelp of surprise to escape your lips. his arm remains around your waist, ensuring that you won't fall, but you two do bump foreheads.

"jesus! are you crazy!?"

there is absolutely no reason for you two to be pressed this close, your fingers still very much intertwined, just one trip up and your lips would touch.

you wonder in your head if donghyuck is slowly regretting his brash decision.

"what? you don't know how to waltz anymore?"

you always find a way to jab at him, comment on something he did, joke about a little things that you knew got under his skin.

oh lee donghyuck absolutely despises you.

that doesn't explain why he still clearly wants to kiss you, though.

"you're just—" he pauses in the middle of his sentence, suddenly very interested in your facial features, features that he could now clearly see up close. "a moron, an idiot".

"as you've said before".

donghyuck doesn't respond anymore after that, the song isn't even done, a good 25 seconds left before it's ending, but donghyuck was clearly done, as he pushed you away, taking in a breath.

"that's enough of you, have a good night your highness".

the words leave his tongue bitterly, his glare is less of a genuine one and more full of mixed emotions, but he doesn't give you any more time to stare at him, just turns around and walks in the direction of his fiancée.

you watch him walk away, and he doesn't make an effort to even save you one final glance.

the song isn't even over yet.

but he's done, very done.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

QSMP Awards 2024 Summarized

-The audio was scuffed for the first half. I don't mean a little crispy. I don't mean with a slight echo. It was fucked in every way imaginable. The audio sounded like it was going through a blender. Then it kept getting too loud, then too quiet (so much so we couldn't hear), all while being way too crispy. Charlie Slimecicle monologued to the audience while the team was trying to fix it but since the audio was both too crispy and too quiet we couldn't actually understand anything he was saying. This carried on for about 7 minutes with him holding two microphones, neither of which was working, before the stream crashed (again)

-All the staff are apparently Cucurucho, with one of them being a "main Cucurucho"

-Missa wore a "Quackity my beloved" shirt. I could not explain to you what the blazer over it was supposed to be.

-Everyone else at the ceremony was shown through discord call. I'm convinced Charlie has never seen German or Lenay's faces cause he did not know it was them until Quackity said their names

-The screen was supposed to switch between showing all the people on the discord and it kept switching between the same four people. If I have to hear Q, Charlie and Missa chant "Foolish" or "Pol" ever again-

-Mariana showed up and Charlie immediately went into bitter ex mode. He also hit on Mariana. Multiple times.

-We got a patented Ironmouse "coño" and chat lost their shit over Luzu existing, as expected

-Mariana looked like Michael Jackson, Bad's background could've been the set of Breaking Bad, Roier had a ski mask, lots of people learned what Lenay, German and Vegetta's looked like for the first time, and Mike had a kawaii filter

-Somehow Bad didn't even get nominated for Best Cucurucho Jumpscare, showing that even non-red carpet events can produce award snubs (congrats to Bagi!)

-Though I yearned for Maximus getting nominated for his Eh Vegetta prank, we all knew the win had to go to Vegetta for the mines

-The audio eventually became bearable but the echo never fully left. At some point there were like three or four overlaps of Vegetta giving his acceptance speech

-Acau won for Best Death from getting killed by an enderman (in my heart Foolish's accidental death by Pomme's sniper that got him eliminated from the elections won, but we did get Quackity dying to a fly as a nom so I feel complete. Also congrats to Acau!)

-The Qsmp shop is officially open! We got eggie merch :]

-Quackity forgot to roll clips for the Best Purgatory 2 Moment nominees and almost read out the winner before we got the montage (Wuant won! It was the clip of him being told he lost and he accidentally did a flip. They weren't able to get the acceptance speech on stream so we saw it from Quackity's phone)

-Funniest QSMP Moment nominees were all fucking hilarious, its hard to pick just one but Maxo winning for when he respawned after a lore-heavy moment in Pierre's bed to his own moans being remixed into a song absolutely deserved the win

-Saddest QSMP Moment was unnecessary and the admins will be hearing from my lawyers for making me relive Dapper's first lost life, Dia de los Muertos and the end of Purgatory 1 (Jaiden and Roier saying bye to Bobby won, Roier changed his screen to black and white and held up what looked like a mini Cucurucho being used as a cross)

-Best QSMP Original Song was played prematurely when the category was Best Language Exchange, and we got a spoiler for the winner (YD and Hugo's exchange won and YD's audio was muted so we just saw her Vtuber model getting excited)

-The aforementioned Best Qsmp Original Song had Gordinho Gostosinho looping aggressively over Charlie singing the Juanaflippa song, which I hope to god gets clipped cause it was hilarious (I'm glad the Roier and Cucurucho rap got nominated). Charlie was very confused why they had him announce his own win.

-Best PVP unsurprisingly went to Etoiles for his colosseum Code fight, after all he is the Best🔥 (the other noms were great too, we had Philza vs Tubbo in Purgatory, Bad and Maxo eliminating El Quackity from the elections, and a cute sparring session between Pac and Richas)

-Best Qsmp Fails went to Fit for that time Pac's internet cut out during their date (of course he bragged about his Brasilian boyfriend after learning he won for best loser)(also if it was up to me Quackity's fly deaths would've been added to this category just sayin')

-The audio problems were revealed to have been roleplay the entire time. Yep. All part of the lore.

-Speaking of, most of the winners who were in the discord call could not be heard so they had to give speeches through Quackity holding his phone up to the mic

-Best Roleplayer went to Roier for his Doied arc (the screen prematurely showed him before they could read the announcement, and his speech was him kissing the camera)

-Worst Server House went to Mariana accompanied with the classic clip of him reacting to the admins roasting his started base; Mariana was part of the discord call but left at some point so he couldn't give a speech, to which Charlie jumped on the opportunity to roast his absence like a shark smelling blood (they rightfully nominated Quackity for his clip of Acau reacting to his failure of a starter house, and apparently Carre's base is just his bed on a dirt plot)

-Most Iconic Clip went to Pac for stealing the Qsmp Logo (the other lovely noms included Foolish and co. accidentally closing their house door after a creeper came in an attempt to shut it out, and Tina reacting to a mob giving Felps a blowjob)

-The Most Bankrupt Islander went to Niki for being broke, we stan (during the nom montage we got a passa tudo mention)

-The Creator Who Spent the Most Time on the Server Award went to Bad, which was shocking to no one, although they did use his Barbie Girl clip for the nom montage (they also used Fit wearing a wig for his clip)

-The Qsmp cake for the one year anniversary had the text "FELICIDADES ALBERTO". We do not know who Alberto is. Pol was losing it.

-Tubbo won for The Creator With the Most Deaths (106), while The Creator With Fewest Deaths went to Philza (he only had 1!). Philza was able to be heard through stream but the hosts didn't know this so they would hear him from Quackity's phone and repeat what he was saying even though we could hear him

-Everytime the camera cut back to the hosts Charlie, Quackity and Missa had more cake on their faces

-Most Distance Traveled (in Minecraft) went to Etoiles (6,000+ km jfc)

-Creator With the Most Mob Kills went to Pierre (162,960 mob kills. what the fuck.)

-They accidentally read the award for Creator With the Most Damage Taken (Foolish) during the Best Builder announcement, confusing the shit out of everyone, especially cause the screen showed Mike instead of Foolish. I am still unclear who won Best Builder

-Creator With the Most Blocks Placed went to Mike!!! (MIKE WIN VAMBORAAAAAAAAAAA🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷)

-We had to uncomfortably sit through Missa feeding Charlie cake (and just Charlie in general)

-There was an In Memorium segment of the passed eggs (Quackity shat on a grieiving Charlie for Flippa only lasting 11 days, but in Charlie's words, "to you it was 11 days; to her it was a lifetime"). Charlie commentated and had nothing to say about Trump because he didn't know jack shit about Trump (though he did make a wall joke which is exactly what Maxo would have wanted godbless🙏)

-The stream ended with the discord people saying goodbye, while Roier was holding up the mini Cucuruchos and didn't move the entire time. I know he wasn't frozen because he blinked.

-Maxo sent in his acceptance speech video last minute and Quackity hyped it up as a mysterious final entry but Charlie guessed it was Maxo and spoiled it on accident

-Speaking of, Maxo's entry was him walking around heaven looking for Trump </3

-Charlie gave a heartfelt speech about the people he met through the Qsmp, all while looking like ate out frosty the snowman <3. Missa simpy thanked Alberto (we still do not know who Alberto is)

-Tubbo wasn't present in the discord call because he thought him streaming meant he couldn't join. After the stream Quackity called and Tubbo realized he was allowed to join the whole time

-We ended on a montage of various moments, with a message of excitement looking forward to the next year!

And of course, here are the screenies I managed to nab of the hosts slowly deteriorating into cake

[scheepstep]

I beg you. Please tell us more about the Young Phil AU

OK YES :D

First of all, Phil trusts NOBODY

He can work with the rest of the people on Quesadilla Island, but the man has spent all of his life alone with crows keeping him company. Which he does notice are very scarce on the island and that's Very Upsetting

He's also very suspicious of qMissa, because Missa seems like he's trying to be nice to him, and then backing off, and that sets off many alarms in Phil's head

Speaking of, qMissa is VERY UPSET knowing that this is still technically his husband, but he can't hug or hold or compliment him. He's stuck between wanting to hide in a hole and wanting to help everyone else find a way to send this Phil home so he can have his Phil back

[teal-raccoon]

qsmp headcanon time!

ohhh boy. here i go. (most made by me, some partially inspired)

juanaflippa has to wear a gas mask sometimes bc of her allergies

slime and mariana seemingly hate each other bc they were forced into parenthood and broke down under the stress

tilín, trump, and tallulah are all small due to malnourishment

cucurucho is either pretending to be silly as a lure or is slightly against the federation

most of the members have stripper names that are just username puns (example: foolish_gaymers)

every server a member has been on is a past life. most remember bits and pieces

bbh used to be normal demon, but eventually turned to christianity and his horns grew into a halo-like shape (lol)

foolish is the (young) god of creation and life

kristin is still phil’s wife/goddess of death but she doesn’t mind missa or forever; furthermore, phil is still the angel of death

missa is the lesser god of rot and decay

bbh is a collector of souls and knows when people die which is why he’s so protective of the eggs

tntduo are doomed lovers, forever being torn apart and rifted

Everyone still has the remnants of scars and such from previous lives (examples: bbh has faded horns/spade due to the egg, eng quackity has a faint scar but a working eye, wil dyes his hair bc he still has the white streak)

slimecicle is still a primordial creature like in dsmp. He grew up in an unfamiliar city and morphed into a child form in hopes of finding help (which he did not. he instead found an abusive/neglectful family)

older (lore-wise) players remember more of their past lives (example: phil tells stories abt techno)

phil has crow wings, wilbur has small crow wings, jaiden has parakeet wings (and winged ears), both quackitys have duck wings, baghera jones has duck wings/is a duck, bbh has demon wings that are too small to use, slime can morph (unusable) wings

roier has 3 sets of arms and two smaller sets of eyes under his normal ones. they rarely open and have no tear ducts

[end]

[bigbird07]

Haven’t posted QSMP rambles for a while and might not after this but there’s something to be said about a tragic ending…

The ghosts of the island roam through a land that was never there to begin with. How everything went wrong, they will endlessly search for answers. Driven to grief, many parents lose their place without any way back.

How cruel was it of the federation to let me them live a normal life, only to drag everyone back to where it all began. To get them attached to children they could never truly protect.

Think about it- the hope in the beginning, slightly confused but unmarred by the treachery of the islands.

But now it’s over- it has been for a while.

Maybe it was over when they were sent to purgatory, maybe that was supposed to be the end but the islanders clung to life like roaches in the apocalypse.

Jaiden and Max are dead, so is Dan and Spreen for that matter too. The latter two didn’t even survive for that long anyways.

Bad and Foolish are forever wandering with the loss of their children- unable to end their immortal souls.

Fit and Philza have moved on- spurred my greater purposes that condemn them from making fallible connections. They are warriors, not fathers.

Tubbo works in a fugue state- barely even noticing when the Bunny’s or even Cucurucho stop visiting. Only the hum of machines keeping him company on an island that was once filled with family.

Slimecicle, without anyone left to stop him, let himself give into the code. He never was given the chance to heal from his daughter’s death, not with the twisted spirit in her image prodding at his grief.

Cellbit, well that remains a bit of a mystery. His sanity in tatters and his son gone- his husband so different from the person he fell in love with… some say he offed himself, others that he returned to purgatory with Baghera as if to not remember anything more than pure survival instinct.

Roier, stuck as a rat with no one to turn him back. He lived as a rodent and died as one.

Tina… well, maybe it was the loss of Empanada that made her lose the fight to the demonic but now she waits. Endlessly wandering the islands as a deity of rage and uncertainty.

Mike and Pac knew things were going bad quickly- they chose the swiftest way out they could think of. Their bodies intertwined with Richas’ small form at the bottom of a great height.

Bagi has no family once again, what little connection she had to tie her to this world is gone. All that sacrifice and for nothing. She endlessly searches for a way past the island’s reach but comes up short. One day she set sail and never returned.

Missa falls asleep with his children and his platonic husband, underneath the watchful eye of gods brought over by Philza’s presence. Even as crows surround Phil and his body starts to dissipate with the familiar spark of purple- his adventure starting anew, Missa does not go. Death cannot come for a reaper like him and he still has children to stay with.

Fred, for his many short comings, is reset. All his memories gone in an instant. They have one last look at the strange tinkerer in his factory, ignoring the odd feeling in their chest as the federation prepares to leave the island sinking into ruin.

Agent 18 is found slumped against the door of his office by a golden man with fins at his feet. There are scratch marks at the door but no indication of it ever opening. The golden man stays there for a moment before closing the door again and continues walking.

The eggs that weren’t found… who knows if they ever woke up. Maybe they’re still sleeping somewhere, hidden away. Maybe they’ve been sent back to the adoption centre to wait for guardians who will never come back. Perhaps they go to Tallulah’s special hiding place in the centre to curl up with their remaining siblings, close their eyes and never open them.

Quackity… who knows if he was ever really there? A ghost of an experiment clinging to a life he never had.

And well Cucurucho, he puts a blue feather away in his desk, uproots his remaining corn plants for something more practical and prepares for new residents. The experiment starts over, hopefully with more docile subjects this time. With ElQuackity waiting for them at the docks, nothing will go wrong this time… or they’ll just have to do it all over again until they get it right.

** damn, this is way longer than intended to it to be lol. Let me know if I forgot everyone and thanks to the QSMP for the creative outlet for the short run it had and of course, bless the admins who made it possible.

[mossy123302]

Ah yes, I am now deep in the KinitoPET brainrot. Why not combine it with my favorite pairing. So many au's...

Was inspired by the song "Everlasting Fun" by LongestSoloEver for this brainrot

Warning:

Implied Yandere & Horror

Missa's entire social life was admittedly....in flames. It was all bad timing that he just had to get into an argument with Roier about what happened to his cat, so now Roier won't speak with him and the fact Spreen just straight up vanished without leaving a message nor call. Missa wasn't very close with others, only knowing them via Spreen or Roier so ...what a way to spend his vacation.

Missa could catch up on his games, maybe teach himself to play another instrument than a guitar or...scroll the Internet and mourn his miserable non-existent social life. He sighed, running his hand through his hair which was a bit greasy...so he needed to shower, but first, maybe he should go on his computer and actually see if there were any indie games or something he could download while he showered.

Missa searched through the Internet, and searched through Reddit as well to help give him an idea of what game would catch his attention. The Adventure of Angel Death...

Hm.

Angel Death?

That sounds like something interesting, sounds like a horror indie game or something actually. However, to Missa's surprise, it wasn't a horror game but more or less like those ai pets that helps with browsing. It just happens to be more slightly advanced because it has built in story mode, it could do slight programming and vice versa.

Well ... It had its own story and it couldn't hurt to try something. He could delete it later if it's not much, since the ratings weren't really high for this one. Missa clicked download and with that, he headed off to take a much needed bath, unaware of his computer screen turning blue with multiple tabs opening.

Missa sighed, drying his hair with his towel, squeezing out all the water from his hair as he approached his computer. He was glad that the download seemed to be finished, as there was a tab open, awaiting for him to click some agreement terms, which he did.

He was not gonna bother reading through paragraphs of words, when it mainly repeated the same thing. With that out of the way, it seems he can now...finally play this game?

A crow appeared on his screen, seemingly looking lost for a moment with a green and white stripped bucket hat in its beak, until a figure appeared, seemingly chasing after this crow.

"Give me my hat, right now! Why are you always stealing my things!" The AI huffed, snatching it's hat back from the crow before looking up at Missa. "Oh! I didn't see you there, mate. Hello!"

Missa couldn't stop the smile growing on his face, and quietly hummed. Maybe the game won't be so bad after all? I mean this ...figure was really cute, or well looks like a better version of that anime character, that Missa cannot remember for the life of him. The developer must have gotten real inspired by the anime..but still added their own personal tastes to the AI, possibly to avoid copyrights.

Philza.

That was his name, and man, Missa hasn't had so much fun even if it was simple. Philza asked simple questions, like what is his name, his favorite color and hobby while he seemingly read a book that appears from thin air as Missa types his answers. Missa was honestly impressed with the programming, since Philza seemed to have full range control on his computer and was able to pull immediate results or answers when Missa typed a question into the search engine.

Now it seems Philza did have a story program set in him, in which he opens another tab for Missa. It was a simple game, he just had to do simple tasks assigned by his friends; Tommy and Techno.

Techno was quite easy, it was to decorate the cabin! He added a few wolves, painted the whole cabin in blue and purple and added way too many skulls. Philza had a good laugh out of that one, amused by the amount of skulls that Missa had added.

"Well, your room is certainly interesting" Philza laughed and Missa smiled. It's weird how this little ai knew how to make him smile or probably because he's just starved of actual contact

Speaking of that... Missa frowned when he spotted a message from Roier. He didn't realize how long he spent playing this small quest, the message was there for hours and Missa barely recognized it. He didn't know what to say exactly, in fact, he just wanted to ignore it entirely but...

"Hey mate, you've been distracted by that message for a while now" Philza spoke, his voice snapping Missa out of his thoughts. Missa closed the message browser and sighed.

"Good choice, mate" Philza said, a hint of amusement in his tone. "We have plenty of other tasks to do, surely you have enough time"

Missa did, so he followed the new instructions Philza gave him to add a new game mode it seemed.

Hide and Seek

Missa didn't know where he was, frankly. He was... somewhere, tunnels that closed in on him. He couldn't make out most of the tunnels, with how pitch black it was and all he had was this torch to guide his way. He faintly could hear humming and footsteps that clattered against the stone...

Missa peeked around the corner, and could see a red cape flutter and he immediately hid back, silently praying that he wasn't spotted or at least heard. He covered his mouth with his free hand, trying to keep his heavy breathing quiet.

"Found you, mate"

Missa shrieked, as he immediately sat up, his eyes immediately darting around and ... He wasn't in tunnels, where it was damp and cold. He was...back in his room, where it was safe and warm. The computer was still on...and Philza's persona was asleep, or at least shut down since it seemed Missa was inactive for a while.

"....Dios mios...That dream.." Missa sighed, running his hand through his hair as he tried to process what he just had. He winced when his neck slightly twinged, and he mournfully had to turn off his computer to actually get some sleep or else his neck will be the least of his worries.

Philza opened his eyes when he felt the computer turn off, and while Missa couldn't see him anymore. Philza will always still see him and he quietly sighed. He frankly hated these moments where Missa had to sleep, I mean, it's much better being awake and doing fun activities but ... He supposes that taking a moment to relax and wind down is admittedly nice to take. It gave Philza time to jot down future ideas, or references to the games Missa had in his computer and to delete the incoming messages from Roier and Mariana.

He admired their stubbornness, but it was starting to get on his nerves a little. Can't they see he's trying to have fun? He was so close, he finally got to tap deeper in Missa's own dreams...

Slowly, bit by bit, Philza will be the only thing Missa will remember. He doesn't need these other friends to make him happy, all Missa needs to do is enter his world...and be happy with him, Techno and Tommy. However, Philza is patient, he will...bite down the urge to pull Missa straight away. He needs more time to create the perfect world for Missa.

Just a bit more... information and soon, Missa will finally be in his arms.

"Just wait a bit more, my moon.."

"Soon, we'll have an Everlasting Fun in our beautiful world"

[merao-mariposa]

I have your back, you have my heart

Day three of the pissa/death duo week! This au was the idea of @amymorningstar ​​in this post I really wanted to write about the Mafia Pissa and this was a good excuse for!

“Mafia + I promised you as long as I'm with you you'll never be alone again”

(…)

Philza Minecraft had been on the dark side of the streets for a very long, long time, since his first interventions dismantling brothels that were a little too... “flexible” with the idea of consent going to authentic inhumane places, all falling under the scourge of the Angel of Death until a man, a friend, appeared in front of him with the idea of dominating the criminal world, converting it to his ideals. That was a long time ago but corruption spreads like a fire in gasoline and Phil was there to suffocate it until it went out.

Maybe it was his cruelty in how he snuffed out the lives of those corrupt men that led him to pay the karma he was paying right now, he doesn't know.

The man sitting at his desk looked miserable for say the least, from the outside you feel the discord in the trademark half-twisted hat or the uncorked bottle of wine resting on his messy desk but you can see how the damage runs deeper than that if you know Philza well enough, the immaculate two pieces-suit stand out like a sore thumb on a man so casual and relaxed, the white shirt is buttoned at the neck almost restrictively, and his trail of beard is just a little more prominent than it has been in recent months.

The last few months, that sugar-filled almost year where mafia boss BOLAS had been closer to being an angel than he would ever be since he lived in what he could only call heaven.

His arrival in heaven was a young man with messy, dark hair. His purple eyes dragged him deep into the flames of hell now that they were no longer looking at him.

The fact that he had no one else to blame but himself didn't make it any easier.

But when Sinfonia appeared everything was perfect. He was reserved but easy to smile, aloof but with loyal friends, so pathetic (and cute) yelling at the slightest threat but he was a real threat in front of some of the most ruthless members of BOLAS, selective but had two beautiful kids who looked alike barely in the whites of the eyes, even his last name “Sinfonia” evidenced the harsh contradiction that surrounds the object of the crow's loves, a man as gifted in every possible musical instrument as if he had the Midas touch, and yet that very appropriate last name wasn't real. His Missa was a set of contradictions and embarrassing coincidences over knots in lavender stems.

Which in retrospect must have been a loud alarm, a siren announcing the disaster that his false moon left in its wake in the crow's heart.

It turns out that his love lied, the fire burning inside him to abandon important meetings for the sole purpose of sharing more time of his life with him as opposed to the absolute security of being understood as someone returning to his childhood home (beloved, cared, welcome) with the ease of riding a bike. All of that had been a waste.

The soft hugs that lulled him into deep dreams (chasing away the nightmares that Missa shouldn't know about for his own good) to the chaste kisses all over the face that released the negativity from his husband's shoulders (and if instead of being a result of his low self-esteem was his guilt taking charge?) to the private kisses that said “I miss you” and “one last time, love” without the words, all were nothing but lies.

Not that he had cared much about anything at that moment, he found himself focused on his children (because now they were also Phil's children) they were angels and he only had the head to raise them with Missa, who returned with a sweeter demeanor after his night walks and long work trips, he tenderly asked for nap together as a family.

He should have questioned more why Missa disappeared like that, coincidentally, just when Phil was paying for the services of the most dangerous mercenary on the black market, unlike the assassins he had on his payroll, this guy had the prestige of killing only with his touch, too lethal and above all cautious, Phil did not even met him in person, they only contacted through third parties who agreed on the service and only told about his violet hood and his skull mask. It is said; no one has seen his face and lived to tell.

Like I said before; Phil is old, he's been in the environment for years where only an intelligent man could live as long as he does, with that in mind how was it possible that he didn't know that his sweet husband was actually the most dangerous bastard in the underworld? Shocked by the discovery, in this kind of world, someone you trust can stab you in the back so how can you trust a man who lied to you?

And Missa knew who Philza Minecraft was, what his name means, he always knew, he did always know when something had gone wrong and Philza needed more comfort, always two steps ahead of his needs because he knew it.

The time after their fight breaks up, everything is a drunken blur in the crow's mind, he doesn't remember what they said, he only knows the screams and the revolver clicking in his left pocket while Missa, The Reaper or whoever it was have knowledge of the gun in his pocket and as soon as he pointed it at the man he said he loved time ago the gun was already on the ground, rolling behind this man who was unrecognizable to Phil, the shouting match continued more heated after the blonde pointed his gun at the helpless and clumsy Missa.

That was the last time he saw Missa.

Phil has been so distracted, tired and paranoid since then, even the security is a disaster ignoring the advice of the rest of BOLAS. Philza has scattered guards in unimportant areas, some stuck to him all day but the majority watch that Missa does not return or get close to the children (his children; Missa's own children) Chayanne almost bites him at the slightest suspicion of not being able to see his father, so his impenetrable fortress suddenly becomes a weak place.

Literally and metaphorically

He ordered several guards not to even dream of setting foot in certain areas of the family mansion (those such as the music room, the kitchen and the art studio, any room with traces of Missa must remain identical to how it was before his departure, as if they were waiting for him)

Philza feels betrayed and hurt but above all he is so confused, his rational mind tells him to defend himself, to put up the highest walls to protect himself, his organization and his family but his family is Missa. He is outside and Philza once promised that he will demolish every wall in the world that did not open its doors for the man with purple eyes.

And yet here he is.

Inside his fortress it can breathe the air of a broken family, the kids have believed him for the moment but the tension is felt increasing with every minute they pass without hearing from their papa. Inside the fortress are no longer him and his chicks but a greedy and lonely crow with two brittle shells and a broken heart.

The days pass in that agony until there is a surprise attack from which they cannot respond.

Tensions with the Federal mafia had gotten much worse in recent months, after his formal alliance with Soulfire he did not believe they were going to attack seriously.

But they did.

Thank his Goddess, thank The Lady for allowing Chayanne and Tallulah to be in the school while the white clad mercenaries broke down every door and shot at anything that moved.

At least Missa would get them back and they would be together again. Just as they should have been before he and his greedy hope for a family took that away from them.

As soon as his office door is kicked down one of those white masked sons of bitches puts his hands on him, something happens.

Penetrating in his vision when he sees him but there is stealth in his steps, he is the only one to notice his presence until two bullets (how quickly are repeated) knock down two of the men to dead, wound another in the shoulder, and the last one misses just centimeters away for paint the wall with Philza's skull.

Four shots, two fired before the reaction time of their distracted predators and attacked from the purest darkness, shots fly towards the door and if it was not absolutely broken after that rude kick it is now unusable, falling from its hinges under the siege and behind it are no signs of the mysterious shooter.

Tense seconds pass until one of the feds quickly puts one of his dirty hands in Phil's hair, pulling hard on the golden strands in a hissing threat and that's when he enters the scene.

The men on each side of the door were the first to fall, one quickly takes the place of his fallen companion, his gun raised, ready to shoot, followed by the one with the shot in the shoulder, unfortunately with that wound he is not able to shoot at time to prevent another bullet from the darkness from taking the life of the other one.

The bullets fly again while the threshold of the door swallows the corpse, dragging it out and soon, very soon, his savior enters the room with a constant step carrying the dead body as a kind of human shield.

A well-placed shot, other fall.

And the guy who touched him is one of them, his screams are muffled by his mask and by the gunshots exploding around him.

Phil hides under his desk as fast as he can but not before taking a bullet in the shoulder, it hurts like shit.

But it seems that it hurts them more because he can hear how one by one the white masks fall with sharp blows, they could barely scream in horror before fall with a fatal shott.

Fast, efficient and lethal

When it seems that the rain of bullets is ending, Phil distinguishes the voices from outside his office. That sounds like… Chainsaws? And laughs Phil knows immediately that his best people, who should be with his children, are on and from what he hears they are having fun.

He slowly peeks out of his desk, his hand warm from the blood dripping from his shoulder, and finally sees the reason of his recent insomnia.

Missa, or also known as The Reaper, moves almost with grace but the anger burns in his every movement, it is a wild spectacle as soon as the bullets run out, each man who even tries to get close to Phil is shot down with ease, he watch in trance as his husband smash anyone who tries to get close to him to pieces.

“M- Missa…?” he comes out as a dismayed whisper

The Reaper turns to look at him for half a second, which one of them takes advantage of to kick him in the stomach. Missa lets out a grunt of acute pain but holds the guy's leg with his hands, taking advantage of pushing him forward, knocking another of them against the favorite glass table.

The two guys are left on the floor, one on top of the other and one's suit is now full of glass.

And just like that Missa goes for the next one and Phil can only watch in shock.

Missa is The Reaper, The Reaper is Missa. They are both the same person; they have been forever.

Missa, his Missa is his mercenary and his mercenary is his husband.

he approaches, slowly, as slowly as he can with a bullet embedded in his shoulder. The cacophony of screams shakes the floor and Philza suddenly realizes that he must have gone down to the panic room.

The weight of not doing so clings to his shoulders, the clear implications trying to cross the capo’s tired mind like a malicious whisper makes him feels so wrong, so manipulative.

But he was waiting for him to save him

Of a thousand people in this aggressive environment who swore their loyalty to him and finds himself depending on the arrival of the one who not only never swore anything to him but also betrayed him.

Oh well, who betrayed who?

After yelling at him for lying to him when he also lied, pointing a gun at him and taking him away from his own children, he knows that the Philza of the past would have sent him to hell for ruining the things with Missa.

Missa knew who he was before, he knew it from very early on and that affected Phil, it made him feel cornered and at a disadvantage. He realized at that moment that he was afraid; he didn't fear the hitman under his roof as much as he feared the man under his sheets. feared he was so vulnerable letting him walk around the red mafia's base of operations, taking the children to school every morning, training Chayanne and hearing Tallulah's flute in the distance did terrified him, his worst nightmare was in how his heart was warmed by them so soft and gentle in the reaper's expert hands he could take out his heart and the worst thing is that he would have left it in order to see the children and Missa every morning when he woke up.

My God, he was crazy, he went crazy when he fell in love with him and even crazier when Phil sabotaged his own happiness.

Loneliness tasted bitter on his lips, power and honor became poison with the diffuse days, with his cold bed at night, with his absence piercing his chest.

The last man fell and with the elegance of a dancer stabbed by a steel dagger into his chest, he did the same with the other two men on the ground. The Reaper left no witnesses or loose ends.

He could hear in the distance Baghera and Cellbit stopping their chainsaws which was a good sign. The Federation had basically sent a mini army to his grounds and he partly wondered if his men knew that Missa was there with him.

His name tasted salty when it finally left Phil's lips in a whisper, it tasted like the tears he shed every time he was sober to remember his absence. Behind that mask it is almost impossible to perceive the purple eyes but he knows well that look that is hidden in front of him.

Missa wipes the blood on his own pants with slow movements, the dagger pressed against his thigh until it's clean enough.

“Missa…” Phil insists, he shouldn't insist to the man who has the dagger, especially when he is hurt.

The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as he feels (not sees) the intense gaze on his shrunken figure, well, at least he now has his attention. The purple eyes that he loves so much scan him from top to bottom and a wave of shame hits the stunned and guilty part of his subconscious as he remembers how he looks even worse for being in the middle of a fucking shootout. That wasn't how he would have wanted to see him again see but it was the most likely way to meet again now that he knew they were in the same work area

His eyes seem to linger on the wound on his shoulder and if he could see his husband's face, he would say he was not pleased with it.

“…Phil” Missa's voice sounds like a late greeting and is focused on him.

Goddess, how he had missed that voice

The professional, and infamous mercenary approaches, a little more hesitant than he should for a man of his reputation and a wave of affection breaks over Philza, he too takes a single step closer and they are looking at each other as the first time, feels like looking at the moon at its peak or the sun descending. He can't, he doesn't have the right to act like a wet cat after tearing up his enemies and expecting Phil to be normal about it. Missa just can't do that to him, he bites back a light laugh and takes another step in his direction. noticing that there is blood on his clothes and some cuts on it but if I had to guess I would say that most of it is from the others and Phil is already losing blood himself.

Missa takes another step, knowing the bleeding has stopped and believing the bullet grazed but he won't be sure until he concentrates on something other than mustering the words to ask him to fucking take off the mask.

Fortunately, he seems to read his mind as Phil doesn't even finish taking another slow step towards him when the mask is finally gone, The Reaper has officially left the room and his husband looms in front of him in his place. Is it strange to say that death is good for him? His face, his hair and the sparkle in his eyes or is the blonde just delirious?

Be that as it may, it doesn't take long for them to find themselves in the middle of the destroyed office as if it were his own world.

"You went"

“You kicked me out.”

“You still shouldn't have left” he replied very intelligently and Missa smiled, a little nervous.

“Does it hurt so much?” The black-haired man worried, looking at his injured shoulder and Philza wasn't having his partner distracted just like that.

"No, no. It doesn't hurt" He responded, knowing that lies were not the best for the relationship at this time.

Missa frowned like a kitten about to sneeze but he allowed this one for him, just for now.

“You… you're right Philza” Missa lowered his head in shame and a confuse “what?” died in the blonde's throat.

"I shouldn't have left-"

“I pointed at you with a gun, mate” he interrupted, feeling guilty and a little freaked out by whatever that means, it all was his fault, why was Missa saying that?

“Still, I should have stayed, I wanted to stay” hesitantly he noticed how Missa’s arms floated loosely around him. They weren't very elegant clothes, just good enough for work and Philza wanted to focus on that and the stains of blood all over his man instead of the new confession, after everything he did, but how could Missa still wanted him?

“Missa…”

“I promised, right?” Phil raised his head suddenly, searching for his gaze between the strands of black hair that escaped from his messy ponytail. “I always keep my promises, dear”

When the members of Bolas made sure they had the entire area clean, they advanced, covering the entire perimeter until they climbed the stairs that led to the red leader's office, they found themselves face to face with the splintered frame of the door, an office in an absolute disaster. with the imposing doors thrown next to the lifeless bodies and in the eye of that past storm was the mob boss.

Philza was leaning against his desk (which was out of its place) the purple cloth acted as an improvised tourniquet and in his arms was the waist of a tall man with black hair that they had trouble recognizing at first if it weren't for the clear display of affection, unaware that they had company. Now Phil kept his face buried in the taller man's torso as if he were afraid to let him go again and Missa hummed, deeply satisfied with having his little bird in his arms again, he carefully avoided the other man's shoulder but remained attentive, didn't want to leave that wound out of sight until he could drag his husband stubborn ass to the infirmary. Ignoring the living and dead audience, the couple was trapped in their own world, little giggles that didn't seem to go anywhere, dying and returning with each other's laughter in a vicious circle, finally together.

“I promised you, I didn’t? as long as I'm with you you'll never be alone again, cuervito”

EXTRA:

“You look pretty good with that ponytail you know, mate?”

“Philza!”

“So, guys, do I tell Jaiden that there will be no divorce?”

“Shut the fuck up, Charlie”

[mangodoodles000]

God au

Phil has always had a bit of a green thumb plants always seem to bend to his will.

But

He did not wake up today to expect HE WOULD LITERALLY BEND NATURE AT HIS WILL OR EVEN CREATED IT!

He never expected or wanted to become a god no less expected to become a god of nature with all the death that walks behind his path.

He stumbles around in the courts and gold Palace looking for some guy called cucurucho? Apparently he's supposed to be filling him in on his duties and everything else about godhood he really didn't listen to those bunnies.

He manages to stumble into the office with a white bear that had an unsettling smile. This time he paid attention quietly to what it said about his duties and what rules he had to follow and what's more, but no one could blame him for his sudden burst.

"MARRIED!?! YOU DUM ASS I CAN'T BE MARRIED I JUST GOT HERE HOLY SHIT I AM SOROUND BY DUM ASSES"

He was a bout to lunch at the furry creature but it quickly pulled out a gun and shot him.

The world went black.

.

.

.

.

Missa was during the regular day today singing about cats and sandwiches, flirting with pineapples and guiding souls you know you know the whole works.

He's seen a lot of unexpected things in his life he would like to say. like the one time he saw a dinosaur get stuck in mud! he was the one to take it soul to the afterlife!

But never in his life would he think he would get any type of promotion no less GOD HOOD.

He's not fit or responsible enough to handle this responsibility he can hardly handle this!

But he follows the bunnies anyways, they said since cucarucho had to handle a issue that they would inform him instead of his duties and the rules that he must follow and another extra thing. He tried his best to listen carefully he could hardly believe his ears whenever he heard the last thing.

" Marriage?!? No no no you got the wrong guy I am nowhere near marriage man I can't even make a sandwich sometimes and you want me to get married oh no -

They wait until he stops burying himself in a little rabbit hole of emotions.

To lead him to the place where he is staying.

It's an odd place it is twisted and split and turned with life and death with every beautiful flourishing flower there is death the ground is littered in animal bones.

There are giant flowers that will eat you and Missa knows from almost experience he got a little too close on accident spooked by a different plant! And whell you can guess what happened next right?

Anyway they finally approached an open sanctuary in the middle a dark Palace lies almost being overtaken by life. He's led inside surrounded by a whimsical interior of deep green blues and purples with dark wood there are golden and silver accents everywhere.

He is led to every room and given a whole tour of the place they stop at one room with a crow school as a crust and they leave him.

He opens the door to a master bedroom the most fancy luxurious thing he's ever set his eyes on. But somehow it feels warm and comforting his eyes finally wander over to the bed seeing a man laying on top of it.

Spooked by the rather sudden appearance he screams and tries to scramble out the door but he ends up falling on his ass.

The sleeping man stirs from his sleep taking a minute to observe and soak in his surroundings.

" What the fuck"

Phil woke up with a throbbing headache and too much on his eyes he was in a room full of gold and a combination of green and purple silks and elegant dark wood furniture.

He looks over to see a man fallen on his ass probably the funniest s*** he seen today.

" What the fuck"

He can't help himself he laughs until he can't breathe. When he finally calms himself down he takes a minute to soak in the man's appearance.

He is lightly tanned he has dark hair a skull mask and he wears reaper robes. He looks anxious and out of place, Phil softens his gaze he can relate.

" Hay mate uh- want to check out this bed it's pretty comfy"

Here :) I thought I might have give you some crumbs

DA FUK U MEAN CRUMBS, THIS IS A WHOLE GOD DAMN FEAST-

Anyways, I really like this idea, it actually reminded me a bit of my au that I’m working on

I’ll take some of these ideas for inspiration in the future

Thank u for sharing this au tho :)

[cat-mentality]

More of my favorite silly qsmp headcanons that have zero evidence in canon

The Spanish version:

Willy has creeper dna and he can communicate with them

He however has literally declared the whole species his mortal enemies, and the feeling is mutual

For some reason turtles really like Willy, Tallulah's turtles once staged a break just to hang out in his base (Philza was not pleased)

Vegetta and Rubius fought once and Rubius cursed him to be a werewolf, it was supposed to be temporary but Rubius legitimately forgot about it and Vegetta kinda of likes it now

Vegetta as a result will sometimes howl at the moon and he is like, weirdly, into smells, especially Foolish's for some reason

No one really questions it even if Maximus is the only one who knows he is a werewolf

Maximus is one of the only humans in the Island so he just takes the weirdness on strike, nothing fazes him

Maximus doesn't won a single matching pair of socks and its on purpose

He also owns more sunglasses than he does furniture

Roier is a spider hybrid and he can climb walls like one, he uses that power to scare the living shit out of people

He doesn't do it to Rivers anymore because one time her first response was to set him on fire and then yell at him while he was burning

One time he also took her makeup without asking and she chased him around with a ax

Mariana recorded the whole thing

As a payback Roier stole his glasses and Mariana had to walk around the Island seeing jack shit, he ended up groping so many people by mistake that he legitimately buried himself into the sand until Luzu made him some new glasses

Arin will sometimes hang out inside of people's machines just for fun (He is the one that taught Pierre's machines to swear)

Arin and the codes are enemies with benefits (Luzu refuses to acknowledge this)

Pol pulls out the "old man" card literally every time something mildly inconveniences him or when he wants someone to do something for him

Roier and Quackity always end up getting falling for it

One time Willy and Vegetta blew up a part of his studio and he dead ass pulled their ears and made them redo the whole thing

No one has gathered the courage to ask Pol what he is, but let's just say that when he says old, he means old

He and Abueloier are childhood friends

The reason Missa takes so long to come back every time he leaves is because he has the worst sense of direction ever, he has inadvertently managed to map out the whole Island when he just wanted to find a river.

The mobs just kinda stopped attacking him at some point because it genuinely made them feel bad, they will try when he is with someone else and some token attempts from time to time but mostly they just ignore him

Quackity will say the most absurd things about the Island with a very straight face and he always end up tricking at least one poor soul in believing his bullshit

Quackity can speak to ducks and they have very long and deep philosophical conversations about the meaning of life and the mysteries of the universe

Luzu one time found him while he and the ducks are discussing the dangers of capitalism and he just backed away very slowly

German got lost trying to walk around the Island and he still haven't found his way back, on a good note he has been adopted by the slimes because they like his shirt

Rivers can talk to chickens and they obey her orders, Mariana was once chased down by an army of chickens and he still doesn't know how that happened

Luzu can literally sleep anywhere, he once feels asleep in a bush of thorns

Roier however can only fall asleep in the best sheets with the most luxurious mattress, but he sleeps like the dead, Quackity likes to play a game called "how many random objects can i stack in Roier before he wakes up"

Roier still doesn't know who does that

Missa doesn't know that he can be really fucking scary when he approaches someone in the darkness and he has hurt his feelings many times when people screamed when he wanted to say "hi"

[isa-ghost]

Headcanons about qPhil and chronic pain? And maybe how people get him to actually get help?

WOOOO bet :D

qPhil headcanons masterlist

I'd like to note that since Phil doesn't think of qPhil has having chronic pain bc the circumstances of his injuries/pain are different, I don't either. HOWEVER, that bitch still has hella ouched meechos.

There are 100% days where he just cannot get out of bed. It hurts too much to move and even more to stand. He has to be bedridden on his stomach and let his wings breathe and rest, though he's a very restless person and gets very agitated when understimulated.

He tries to power through the pain unless it's a day where Chayanne & Lullah are sleeping all day, then he'll give himself a day off.

Aka Eggza days actually do him some good besides stocking up on cookies for the kids LOL

He HATES that progress/healing isn't linear. It's a little funny to witness bc it's just him being salty as hell. God he is SO pressed about it, what do you MEAN he's not getting better day by day every day so hopefully in a few months he can fly again!! This is bullshit!!

The occasional warm soak in a bath does him wonders. It's a struggle not to flap around in the water like a birdbath though, it's a reflex

He tries to do morning stretches and the like, only doing as much as his wings/back will allow though, just to make sure things don't get worse instead of better

He's trying to ignore the fact that even when he heals enough for flying to be an option, he won't be straight back to it full throttle (he is also salty about this)

He's very intensely Do Not Touch My Wings but Chayanne & Lullah are exceptions. Like I said in another set of hcs, Lullah's wing hugs are everything to him

Someone get him stoned. CBD would do this man wonders pain relief-wise

Tbh he's his own worst enemy sometimes, he's too stubborn to be as lenient on himself as he should be and he just hurts himself more and makes life harder on himself

Often times he just sleeps off the pain if he can, it usually works

Or,, sometimes he eats a couple gapples : )

One thing he'll never do is ice his back to deal with the aches, he'd rather explode. Cold BAD.

Tbh he'd be more willing to rest if he had Missa around to cuddle and chill with him all day during the times he should stay in bed

I'm obligated to joke that Lullah/Missa have joked to him about fixing it with vaporub

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Canon-adjacent (implied no respawns, or at least heavily impaired respawns, but otherwise canon-ish setting) platonic husbands philza and missa with philza getting himself into a good deal of bother.

TW: needles, blood, major character injury, implied temporary major character death, panic attacks

The mob was new. Of all the things that could do such harm to Philza... there's a lot of them, if he's insufficiently careful, but this one was new. New, and unpredictable, and now very dead.

Very dead, but having left a giant gash from Philza's ribs on one side, to his opposing hip. It's bleeding - heavily - but nothing a potion can't fix.

Philza puts pressure on the wound with one hand, and searches his bag with the other. He grabs a couple of potions - it's a nasty looking wound, and he's already feeling weak - drinking them or pouring them on it as the bottles dictate.

He gives them a second, then another, and the wound doesn't close.

Before he's even had the chance to think /shit/, or /poison/, or /what the fuck was on that mob's stupid scythe/, he has both hands on the injury. His first hand - the hand with his communicator on - is looking pretty gorey already. He puts pressure, realises it's barely helping, then slips his hands around.

He grabs the edges of his skin, pinches them together, and he thinks /okay, fuck, what do I do now?/

For once, Philza does not have an answer. He's a good distance from spawn, his communicator is soaked in blood to the point he isn't sure it'll work and he's very sure he can't see the screen, and if he moves he'll bleed faster. There's also the niggling knowledge in the back of his mind that his thinking is impaired, that he's poisoned and it's likely to have more effects than just preventing his wound closing, that right now if he acts on anything he comes up with then he'll do something extremely dumb.

There's no winning, not when he's having thoughts like that.

Staying put is a shit plan, it's a completely shit plan, and he's pretty sure all versions of him would agree. No matter how he holds the wound he's still bleeding, blood bubbling out between his fingers. If he stays here, in a random glade, a couple of hundred blocks north of the closest build, he's going to die.

If he gets up, if he tries to walk those few hundred blocks... With where the wound is, every single step is going to shift it. He won't be able to pinch the wound closed as he is now, and with every step any healing that's miraculously happened will be undone. He might even tear the damn thing more. He's a couple of hundred blocks north of the Hide and Seek Arena, and nobody's even going to be there at this time of day; if he tries to walk, he's going to die.

What else? What else? He tries to bash his communicator to life, just in case. He keeps the HOLD switch on when he doesn't need it, usually. With his ring finger he manages to reach said switch, and try to flick it. The blood has gotten into the mechanism, disabling it. And with HOLD on... Even if the other buttons escaped the worst, they'll be disabled to. If he gets out of this, he's begging Tubbo or Aypierre or Pac or /someone/ to redesign the damn things, make them blood proof. He's not going to get out of this, though.

He's going to die, and it's going to fucking suck.

Those are, as far as he can tell, his options. None of them are survivable, but at least if he's walking he's /trying/ to live. It'll kill him faster than waiting for help, sure, but Philza's never been much good at standing still.

He pushes up from the tree, and gets eight steps before his knees buckle beneath him.

His hands fly from the wound to catch himself, then back to it to close it back up.

Philza might not be thinking straight, and he might not be good at sitting still, but he's nothing if not stubborn. He grits his teeth, and pinches the wound closed, and drags himself to his feet.

He makes it ten steps, then fifteen, then a whole thirty before he can only make it four. With every attempt his vision grows a little darker, his heart a little faster, his teeth set a little harder into their grimace.

He still gets back up, and gets back up, and gets back up until -

Until he can't any more.

In a hazy blur Philza tries his comms again - still not working - before letting go with one hand. He bleeds even faster without it, yes, but like this? He's too exposed, too exposed, and he can hear the wolves coming. Wolves who might be fine, but might also be looking for an easy meal.

Even dying his instincts kick in; Philza drags himself into a more defensible position, and clamps his fingers around the wound once more.

His body already sprawled on the floor, it's impossible to fall further when his eyes slip shut. Vaguely, vaguely, he's aware of his fingers falling limp, away from the wound and /ah/ he thinks /well, we had a good run, didn't we universe?/.

The universe doesn't answer, or if it does Philza's too far gone to hear it. Maybe the acceptance should scare him, but as he lays beneath a tree, it feels warm, it feels gentle - it feels like coming home.

There's something on the tip of his tongue, some memory just out of reach, some deep-set knowledge he really must know.

He doesn't chase it, he simply leans into the warmth and tries to let go.

"Phil!"

... Missa?

He might be too weak to hear the universe, but not the terrified scream of his husband.

It drives Philza, that flicker of a scream. He manages to get one arm under himself, push up, and-

And he doesn't even get to see the terrified man sprinting towards him, as his vision stays black and his body collapses back to the floor.

---

Philza doesn't expect to wake, not to silence and certainly not to soft Spanish sung by a hoarse voice. Whatever pillows his head is oddly shaped but warm, though everywhere else is freezing despite the weight of blankets. An arm is draped over him, and fingers brush through his hair.

He's also in a fucktonne of pain.

The singing hitches like a sob and - yeah no, that's not an angel, Philza's somehow fucking alive.

He'll take it, but it fucking sucks.

Memories are difficult, fragmented. He's...

He's supposed to be holding shut the wound in his side and /fuck/!

Limbs like lead, Philza tries to move, tries to pinch his bleeding flesh shut once again. It's hard, it should be impossible, but he's Philza Fucking Minecraft and he refuses to die!

He refuses, but one of those arms shifts, tries to stop him. Someone kisses the top of his head, shifts to hold his hands, whispers "you're alright, you're okay" in a gentle tone.

The singer, the singer whose name sits beneath his tongue and Philza can't quite grasp it, but he knows they are /wonderful/, /amazing/, his entire fucking /world/.

Well, maybe not all of it, but a massive fuck-off chunk of it at least.

And it is alright, he is okay, until something catches against his wound.

White hot agony, trailing up and down his entire spine.

Philza... Philza doesn't tense, doesn't scream, doesn't fight - his instincts are strong and his instincts have saved him before and he's just an injured, mutilated bird in the hands of a predator and for a moment all he knows is fucking pain and PLAY DEAD.

He doesn't tense at the pain, he goes limp. He can't even choose how his breathing catches - stopped in his throat, wings slack, body slack, unmoving and unresponsive as can be.

Someone calls his name, but blind pain and blind terror are winning, as in the certainty that he must survive. His name comes again, more frantic, then as a scream-

A scream.

A familiar scream that isn't his own and-

Oh, /fuck/, humans don't play dead in the same way, do they?

Through the pain and the fear and the hands on him it's hard, it's so hard - harder still when he hears running feet from else where and everything he is screams /predator, predator, predator/ - but he does it.

Philza takes a deep, loud, gasping, purposeful breath, forces his body to lock again, forces himself to stop playing, to breathe.

The wonderful voice above him stops screaming and starts sobbing, fingers tracing his jawline as he sobs over and over again.

The running feet stop, and there's a discussion in quick, panicked Spanish - too quick for any Philza, but especially for an injured one - before other hands are touching him, pressing him, assessing him.

His instincts are desperate but Philza remembers the screams before. The fight is exhausting, harder than it should be, but he forces himself to keep breathing, keep breathing, keep breathing. Just for the voice, just for the wonderful person who owns the voice and he knows means the world to him.

He tries to stay awake, he really does, but there's only so much he can do. He's tired, and breathing is /exhausting/, and the lovely voice belonging to a stupid but brilliant man isn't singing to him any more, and the longer he's here the more he realises he must actually, legitimately, be safe.

Safe, what a funny idea. But a nice one.

Philza gives in to temptation, and lets himself fade.

If he's safe, he can let consciousness be someone else's problem.

---

Philza wakes next to a warm pillow, and frozen blankets, and the distinct smell of honey tea. There's no singing this time, but familiar fingers trace his cheek and Philza feels them and thinks /Missa/.

There's a steady bip bip, and a sting, and his existence is cloudy with painkillers.

All of those sensations - every single one - adds up to /probably/ a good thing.

This time, awake, Philza manages to open his eyes. His vision is blurry, but the light is dim, and he's able to drink in the image of his husband above him sipping on a steaming mug.

Missa's eyes gaze vacantly into the distance. Philza does not chase them down. Instead he reaches up a shaking hand, just about managing to make it high enough to stroke Missa's cheek.

He sees Missa blink, and look down, and whisper "Phil?"

Philza can only gather so much strength, but he smiles his soft smile and mouths back "Missa".

---

A few hours and a nap later, Philza is sat against Missa's chest, and curled in his arms. They're both in an exhausted daze, Philza never having really quite left one, and Missa having been running on fear for too long. It strains the stitches a little, but not so much it bleeds, and Philza will live.

He's had the summary of what happened - Missa found him in the woods, bought him back, called for help healing him even as he cleaned and stitched the wound himself. There's talk of the poison, about it being new, and the struggle to synthesise an antidote before they ran out of blood they could give him.

From the haunted look in everyone's eyes, it was a fucking close run thing.

He'll have to thank Pac and Mike later, for that. He's already asked Fit to pass the message on, along with dropping his communicator off for cleaning, upgrade, and repairs, but, fuck, he knows the sort of toll the two are willing to put themselves through for people, and he knows he owes them.

He hopes Mike stopped Pac poisoning himself this time - Jesus Fucking Christ that man will be the death of Fit one of these days - and given the turn around might even be correct about it.

Silver lining - there's now an antidote for the next time someone runs into one of those fucks, and Aypierre is already working on a way to mass produce it.

And then there's Roier to thank, who might still give Missa side eye at times - and what even happened there - but who knows his way around the hospital /and/ seems to have kept his husband something approximating calm, and then Tubbo let slip they'd had to round up blood donations from everyone compatible to keep him alive and make up for the blood loss and, fuck, at this point he should probably get Chayanne to help him batch cook a /lot/ of shortbread to box up and hand around.

And then there's Missa, his Missa...

He's not sure /why/ Missa sang until his throat could barely function, especially when Philza was too unconscious to appreciate it, but...

But it was also Missa who found him, who saved him.

Philza presses a kiss to his fingers, then presses those fingers against Missa's throat.

"Hm?" Missa asks. "Phil?"

"Thank you," Philza shifts his hand, keeping the backs of his fingers against Missa's throat as he strokes along his chin with his thumb.

"I didn't do much," Missa whispers, his voice still suffering.

"You found me," Philza says. "You saved me."

"The... wolves?" his voice lilts slightly on the word - with Philza's communicator gone and head missing a significant proportion of blood assigned to it, they're stuck in English. "They found you."

"They would have eaten me, not saved me."

"No!" Missa's eyes widen, and arms tighten around him. "No, they are good- good boys!"

"I'm teasing," Philza promises, and maybe he is now but it had been a very genuine fear at the time. "I'm teasing, it's okay, I'm okay..."

He's not, he feels like death, and the painkillers he's been given will wear off soon. But, he's breathing, he's alive, and it doesn't look like that's changing any time soon.

Missa curls around him, hugging him close, protecting him from all sides. It's a position Philza is intimately familiar with, having done it so many times for his children.

"I was scared," Missa's voice breaks. "I was scared - you scared me."

"I'm sorry," and Philza /is/, he never - he's never wanted to be the cause of such worry, such fear. "Missa, I- I'm so sorry."

"You were dead," Missa says, the sobs free and almost drowning his struggling voice. "You were dead, in my arms. I held you dead in my arms."

A mistranslation? Philza wouldn't be here, if he were dead, he knows that much for sure.

"I'm right here," Philza promises, rather than call out his confusion; English is hard, and it's no time for a grammar lesson. "You got my dumb ass out of there, and got help. We're okay, I'm okay."

"Don't leave me," Missa answers. "You're- you're- banned! No leaving me, never leaving me."

Philza doesn't think his words are reaching through the tears; he pools his strength, and reaches up, and holds his husband close. Missa's arms wrap around his chest - not tight, moving as he breathes and clinging to that pace.

"We're okay," Philza whispers - despite the exhaustion, despite the pain, despite the catheter still in his arm just in case the bleeding restarts and he needs another transfusion, despite how controlling his body is like piloting sludge. "We're okay."

And maybe, this time, they will be.