#misogynoir discussion

[orchidvioletindigo]

Hey y'all remember that post I made in June about a white male Fort Wayne PD officer who killed a young black man named Linzell "Zelly" Parhm at a traffic stop?

Same cop, Mason Wills, just got caught on camera alongside another white male FWPD officer, Matt Pierr, brutalizing a black woman named Tyjana Smith at a traffic stop.

The language they use to describe her is almost unbelievably loaded with fatphobia and misogynoir. Everything about Tyjana and her actions in defense of herself is characterized as violent and dangerous. They say she weighed well over 200 lbs and used her tremendous size against them when she in fact only weighs 180 lbs and is 5'4". They even call her leaning away from their grabbing hands violent.

Tyjana thankfully survived this encounter but was thrown in jail. Wills and Pierr had the gall to complain about abrasions and pain they sustained from this encounter while not mentioning that they repeatedly punched Tyjana in the face.

[orchidvioletindigo]

Not to mention when there is an emergent danger with a particular pregnancy (the sort of thing that "life of the mother" abortion restrictions are supposed to permit exceptions for), making the pregnant person wait to get permission for an abortion while a bunch of people who aren't medical professionals litigate the case in court is liable to get that person killed. When you know a pregnancy is presently killing someone, time is of the fucking essence, and court systems do not do fast.

I hate when people say “I’m against abortion except for if the pregnancy threatens the life of the mother” every single pregnancy threatens the life of the pregnant person. We’ve gotten too far removed from that, taken for granted that pregnancy is safe. It is not. Pregnancy and puerperal complications have been a fairly common cause of death throughout history. Even now, maternal mortality is on the rise in the US, the maternal mortality rate varies wildly across the states and it is disproportionately higher for Black women. Being pregnant is getting more dangerous, not less dangerous.

[sukibenders]

Not some JayViks are calling Arcane, specifically the show creators and writers, even animators, homophobic for not catering to their ship...even though the show's main couple is wlw...

[leikeliscomet]

I can't believe in the lord's year of 2024 people genuinely think 'Ten didn't lead Martha on and Martha is to blame' is an unpopular opinion. Like I would love to see what alt timeline existed when the fandom collectively stood behind Martha over Ten and he became the least popular incarnation in the show. Everyone keeps posting the same 'both sides were wrong' takes in the discourse but the minute we actually unpack Ten's side in question suddenly it's 'attacking' 'demonising' 'cancelling'. Everyone loves to cry about nuance and grace and yet accusing Martha of being a predator, sexually manipulative and controlling is perfectly acceptable bc you lot are only willing to explore moral complexities with white characters. Nah it will always be incredibly gross to me that after a decade of racism towards her the minute the fandom actually starts to unpack the misogynoir and actually empathise with Martha for once and has the audacity to criticise anything Ten does, his stans paint the narrative that Martha is the aggressor and her stans hold the dominant position in the fandom and by perpetrating misogynoir they are fighting the good fight against the mainstream narrative when they've been the popular majority since 2006 I've had enoughhhh

EDIT: I've already made a post like this but ah well if we're gonna do up old discourse I'll bring up the old debunking arguments

[orchidvioletindigo]

[ID: a photo of Ryan Gainer, a young, black teenage boy with dark skin, dark brown eyes, and short, coily black hair. He is standing in a sunny parking area wearing a blue polo shirt and smiling at the camera. /End ID.]

I don't want to pile potentially triggering quotes onto here but it feels important to mention that police used physical force against Ryan's physically disabled mother, Sharon Gainer, in the aftermath as well.

please when you talk about ryan, stop trying to set him apart from his autism. he was a black autistic child who was only 15, he wanted to drive so he could help his mother out. he wanted to be normal, he wanted to be normal.. he wanted to be so many things and the police cut his life short, i think about him everyday because what if that happens to me? would i like it if no one cares that the police KILLED me and only focused on one part of my identity. he was black, he was autistic, he was a joy to be around, he had a smile on his face and no one will ever see him smile again. how does that you feel? y’all don’t even talk about him despite y’all being the mentally ill queer disabled site.

WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE FOR HIM? WHERE IS IT

please talk about him, please talk about him

your silence speaks so loud

[thejudgingtrash]

Why can’t black characters be unhinged? Why do they have to be hyper correct in everything they do? Be strong, show little to no weakness or emotion?? Especially black girls/women?

I‘m ignoring the other more harmful stereotypes but the level headed leader black woman has been steadily on the rise. Like okay, putting the work in even in fiction.

Black characters that do fuck all, are shy and timid, show signs of illnesses (mental or physical) just do not get the spotlight orrrrrr are immediately seen as inferior/get hated.

[valhallavalkyrie9]

Ive been having some thoughts brewing in my head for a bit since Arcane ended and.. I just wanna put them out there and see if others have noticed.

DISCLAIMER: I have not taken the time to thorougly think about this, just sorta pops in my head every once in a while.

...I think Ive noticed some.. misogynoir in the fandom. In particular, with Mel. The way the fandom has discussed her has been sorta sus for a while but it seems to have REALLY come out directly and indirectly after season 2. I might go into more detail about my vague observations in a later post when I get my thoughts more sorted but I just wanna know for now.... has anyone else picked up on this?

[c0rpseductor]

on one hand the idea of being attractive in a Womanly Way and thinking about the fact that i have been made legible to others as a sexual agent through a lens of assigned womanhood throughout my lifetime and am often still seen through that lens understandably makes me, A Man, very dysphoric and uncomfortable. on the other every time i see one of those clearly very venerating venus figurines of the paleolithic fat ladies i start jumping up and down and hooting and hollering like THAT'S ME!!!! because i do look like that.

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

In general I have issues with the way Grady Hendrix writes Black women too. Both in this book and The Southern Bookclub’s Guide to Slaying Vampires. I think in both cases he wanted to commentate on the precarious position Black people and especially Black women and children face in society because of structural racism and misogynoir. But so much of the way he wrote it was just writing Black women and communities in a bad situation and then pointing at that and going “wow, isn’t this bad white America? :(”

Which is like, okay he pointed it out. But nothing really gets elaborated on beyond that and I didn’t get any feel of deeper analysis beyond just pointing out inequalities in the system. Which means in practice he is still a white author writing a Black woman in a support role and using her struggles and in the case of Final Girl, death, to further his white protagonist’s story. And that’s like. Mr Hendrix I think you need to think a little more about what you’re writing.

I think one of my favourite criticisms of The Final Girl Support Group is one made by WithCindy where she described how the book tried to end with a message about sisterhood and women sticking together with each other, and she responded with a “bitch, WHERE?” Because the book was really mostly filled with the women disliking one another and they didn’t really willingly help each other out much at all.

[five-is-a-princess-confirmed]

tumblr users will say they don't like rap music because it's violent and misogynystic like they didn't watch hannibal

[orchidvioletindigo]

Some of y'all may remember my post from a few years ago about a tense confrontation I had with cops in my city sneaking up on me while I was having a mental health episode and reaching for their weapons when I panicked and went for the phone in my backpack pouch. I've said and thought so many times how much worse that would have ended had the same scenario happened to a black person.

This last Saturday night, Fort Wayne PD Officer Mason Wills shot and killed a black man named Linzell "Zelly" Parhm when Zelly reached for something during a traffic stop. The police department is claiming he was going for a gun – specifically a Draco AK pistol. For reference, that looks like this:

[ID: a photo of an automatic or semiautomatic rifle with a woodgrain grip, no stock, and a long, curved magazine with text below reading "Draco AK Pistol - 7.62mm." /End ID.]

This man was a 22-year-old hair dresser out minding his business. The gun is not seen in body cam footage until after a significant cut after Wills kills Zelly.

Given my own experience with reaching for my phone around cops in this town, the fact that police routinely plant evidence, and the fact that this police department in particular just recently got away with murdering a black woman named DaChe'na Warren-Hill by lying about her trying to run over her killer, I do not fucking believe that Zelly was going for a goddamn AK.

Rest in power, Zelly Parhm. You will not be forgotten.

[ID: a graphic from the Euell Wilson Center with a photo of a young, thin, dark skinned man with short, coily black hair; dark eyes; and a mustache and chin hair standing in front of two Christmas trees. He's wearing a metallic tuxedo jacket and matching bow tie over a black vest, dress shirt, and dress pants and smiling at the camera.

Text next to the photo reads, "Linzell Parhm. Linzell's smile could change the mood of any room and he smiled often, capturing the hearts of everyone. He had an amazing gift of connecting with anyone and always saw the good in people. Linzell worked tirelessly to ensure all the youth at the center felt a sense of belonging and he cared so deeply for his family and his community.

"Linzell worked as a barber and had dreams of owning a business one day.

"His legacy will be his passion for serving others with care and respect. Our deepest condolences to his family and friends during this very difficult time." /End ID.]

[athene-owl]

Whenever some white fandom thing like The Amazing Digital Circus or Dr Who or 911 or literally anything trends on here, I sure hope y'all are going out of your way to accuse people in those tags of not caring about Palestine and condescendingly lecture them about "real" social issues! Or is that attitude reserved for black women discussing Kendrick Lamar? 🤔🤔🤔

[vanilla-voyeur]

The Ozempic Olympics: Hollywood is Ruining Our Health

D'Angelo's best video yet! Finally a discussion on obesity that isn't cringey af

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

something about the way the thrall specifically makes a point of having Ciprien serve Rowan by bringing her breakfast on a loop, even as it physically wears him down and makes his injury worse, in a way that feels inescapably racialized. Lasher allows Cip to interact with Rowan sexually, but he's not "part" of the family, he's lesser as all outsiders are lesser, and he's treated as physically disposable, as a tool for labor, pleasure, and breeding. it's the same thing with Delphine spending decades in the house, but being reduced as a character to caring for/liberating Deirdre, and ultimately becoming canon fodder in the struggle between Carlotta and Lasher. like Ciprien, Delphine is compelled by a white man to harm herself as part of the larger narrative about his relationships with white women. in many ways Mayfair Witches is as shaped by the racist (specifically antiBlack) violence underpinning most southern gothic narratives as IWTV, it's just that the narrative structure that often treats that violence as set dressing to a larger narrative instead of the focus, in a way somehow makes it all the more unsettling to watch.

[ikarwawa]

It's so very important to me that when people throw around the terms TME and TMA that they understand that TMA =/= only transfeminine people.

The terms TMA and TME were created to because AGAB doesn't fully cover the lived experiences of the variety of trans, nonbinary, and intersex people. It's explicitly NOT meant to be AMAB = TMA and AFAB = TME. Not everyone AMAB who is nonbinary is transfeminine. Nonbinary people of any AGAB can be targeted by transmisogyny depending on their transitioning experience. Intersex people don't have to be CAMAB to be targeted by transmisogyny.

And that's not even broaching how race and transphobia intersect.

[andyxcds]

okay 🫡

tw: for discussion of SA

mary’s treatment in so many marauders fics is just str8 up dreadful, even in several popular fics. she’s usually objectified which, as much as i love it, was a trend started by ATYD. Like I know why the author did that; they wanted to write a sex-posititive female character and wanted a realistic portrayal of 1970s misogyny. Sirius objectifying Mary isn’t portrayed as a good thing, but it’s not condemned by the narrative either? Mary doesn’t need to go on a whole monologue on Sirius’ mistreatment of her, that would probably come off as pretty corny, but so much of her role is centered on being a support for Remus/Sirius. She doesn’t seem to have many flaws or goals or anything going on internally, which could’ve helped in making her a more well rounded person so we could take Sirius’ words with a grain of salt. And while this isn’t as extreme of a problem as it is in other fic, it did start a trend where Mary is just kind of the “hot popular chick who does all of the emotional labor for two of her male friends but doesn’t seem to care about anything outside of that”. Not saying Mary can’t be hot or popular or sleep around the problem just comes when that’s all she is. And many fics don’t even afford her that so she just turns into a shell for people around her.

the whole ‘Mary being a tool of development for male characters’ is especially disgustung when ppl depict her SA in fics. I don’t think I’ve seen a single depiction of Mary’s assault that was actually focused on her, esp esp in popular fanfics. Mary, the victim, becomes a conduit for the reactions and development of the men around her. Which is just like….fucking insane to me lmao. Sexual assault in general is one of the most traumatic events a person could go through, but since this is also most often written as a hate crime (Mulciber specifically going after Mary bc she’s a muggleborn) that adds an entirely different layer of sickening that ppl just?? Don’t engage with?? Because a victim’s SA should be used in service of development of male blorbos ig. Instead of the actual victim herself.

This also bleeds into my opinion on Mary and oblivation. I actually like the Mary oblivating herself headcanon. I think it’s unhealthy, irrational, morally dubious, extreme, and something someone in her position would do when pushed to the absolute limit. It’s compelling! But apparently ppl are fucking boring bc some ppl hc her being oblivated by dumbledore??? For some fucking reason???? Why would he ever do that???? It literally makes me want to tear out my cuticles seeing ppl rather rip away a woman’s agency than have to be conflicted by a character for five minutes. Let her make bad decision instead of no decision at all!!!

Christ this fandom doesn’t know how to write women

First off, this fandom revolves around men and male relationships, and that is evident in the fact that 70% of this fandom's works are made up of M/M fics. It's been like this for years, and to each their own of course. But when you bring up the undercurrents of misogyny portrayed in fics, people claim that it doesn't exist and they just prefer more gay relationships. That's okay, but don't dismiss the fact that you use female characters as a catalyst for your coming-of-age-esque relationships. ATYD (especially it being one of my first and favourite fics) was a prime example of pushing the dumb-hot-ex-girlfriend agenda through Mary. The author did very bad for never resolving her attachment and detachment to Sirius, or even explaining that being a young girl in a 1970s Scotland boarding school will mess with a woman's mind, and hell, no one else called bullshit so we ran with it.

Oh, don't mention the sexual assault of a black female to the crowd. It's not about her right now. They don't really care. They haven't cared for the past twenty years and the misogynoir is really showing up and showing out! When they cannot give her any other trauma due to the fact that they have provided her no goals and prospects and no real battles and actions, they go ahead to give her one of the worst they could find, then make sure to leave it at that. Can we talk about how fast they resolved the assault? Can we talk about how Sirius and CO. has fucked up the lives of many women but has been brushed under the mat because this is a wolfstar-centric/jegulus-centric story? No?

I've said it before, and I will never stop mentioning it, the microagressions Mary faced with the heavy agressions is what makes me even more pissed at her story. They take her emotional vulnerability (the effect of being a black young muggle in the 70s who portrayed herself as being sexually positive and active, play around it and spit her out) and turn her into a plot device when she's just as valuable as every other male character that is being written. When she was given the chance to have something for herself, do some damage after all the damage was done to her, we gave the blame to Dumbledore? Like I know we blame Dumbledore for everything, but are you going to take away the only thing this woman has done of her own selfishness and make it a man's?

Write those mlm fics if you want, but if you cannot make female characters as dimensional as every other male character, shut the fucking laptop. Give these women motivation. Give them anger and make that anger real and feasible. Make them selfish. Stop embarrassing yourselves!