#misery and pain for me and my favs!!!!!

[ssongsboo]

soo i just officially quit my job like an hour ago and it feels v bittersweet ngl

i really didnt expect this decision to make me so emotional tbh

bc on one hand i am SO happy to be free i went there every day on the brink of an anxiety attack as soon as that fuckass building hit my sight and i went home in a bad mood almost every day bc of that one bitch ass girl behind the bar w me and having her call me all sorts of names behind my back always trying to convince me that im doing such a bad job and im good for nothing and w/o her id be fucked and the whole restaurant relies on her blablabla i could literally write a whole book abt how terrible she treated me and how genuinely disgusting of a person she is but for what im just soo glad to not have to deal w that anymore

on the other hand tho im kinda sad? actually fuck that im SAD sad im literally crying as im typing this rn lmao and i really dont understand why bc im like not particularly close w any of my coworkers like we get along and they are always there for me and p much all of them are soo sweet we joke around and none of them ever walks past me w/o slipping in a little ily and vice versa but we are nothing outside of work and i actually like it that way so why does it make me so sad that i didnt even get to say bye properly bc my boss might take me off schedule from today onwards bc of my remaining vacation days n all so maybe yesterday was my v last day there w/o any of us knowing )): and the thought of never seeing and working w them again is lowkey heartbreaking idk lol

and also this was my v first proper job and i grew sm during that time and it just helped me in so many ways w/o even realizing it at first and im just soo sentimental when it comes to these things ☹️☹️

an era is coming to an end and ive been looking forward to this moment for soo long and its what i wanted for months now after all so why am i actually fucking crying my eyes out rn ksksks this is so embarrassing

[reinemichele]

Translation here

Ah... with an unseen arm he wrings their necks... That 《fantôme de rêve》 (phantom of a dream) Is merely a fragile, damaged ego... Drowning in ruthless lucidity, when he drinks and drinks...  He stumbles about The miniature château (castle) of an attic. Ah... with an unseen arm searing with pain... That 《fantôme dolour》 (phantom pain) Drifts away in cheap liquor, allowing him to sleep... Du vin… du champagne… du l'eau de vie… Wine… champagne… brandy… Racing on horseback… Like the vision of a nightmare… With auburn hair billowing all around… He brandishes the Reaper's scythe and swings— Harvesting heads… Like the vision of a windmill… With scarlet flowers blooming in all directions... Emboldened by a single guiding principle— Cloaked within the thinly veiled darkness... He awakens only to find That he's still in a dream (nightmare). His life depraved into one of drinking and lunacy, Trapped within a cycle of repeating pain. A scar in the shape of a cross marring the left cheek;  With blazing auburn hair and eyes of maroon— His arm aches to kill— His 『unseen arm』 burns to kill that man! Who is the assailant and who is the sufferer...? Hunt down the Reaper and bury him... "I'll kill you!" The man lunged at him unexpectedly, Gripping the epee noir (black sword) And the sang (fluid) Splattered everywhere like pinot noir (red wine) In the act of pushing it in… Offering up the flower, "bonsoir" (good night) In the act of pulling it out... Bringing light to the song, "au revoir" (farewell) The name of the man who collapsed is Laurant. The name of the man who escaped is Laurencin... And yet another Laurant… Simply stood at the scene in stunned silence... Who is the assailant And who is the sufferer...? Victims upon victims, added to the pile. Turning round and round, The revolving windmill of hatred… Swinging up and falling down, like wild, dancing flames...

[generisydtoo]

I think there’s something painfully ironic (and kinda poetic..?) about Vi spiraling out and coping with self destructive behaviors (including recreating her prison environment) in front of an audience(s) during her pit-fighter era, but the audience watching irl still says her trauma and pain wasn’t shown at all……

Both her in-show and irl perception makes me think about how society treats ppl it views as entertainment irl; less as understood humans who are extended sympathy and empathy, and more as objects for spectacle, as well as earning money (referring especially to the in-show audience here). (I think this is where I think the poetry aspect comes in for me.)

It doesn't help that a resounding rhetoric of this era of hers is "she looks so good/hot here!!” Believe me, I get the sentiment; this era has one of my fav Vi designs. I get wanting to see more pit-fighter Vi, and I think seeing a couple more non-montage beats here could've been interesting. On the other hand, though it's like.... see more of what, exactly? Vi drowning in misery and self-destruction?? The girl was quite literally at rock bottom💀! She wasn't doing any healthy reflection in this environment. This was a place she needed to be pulled out of.

[yyawnjun]

KISS IT OFF ME

choitaeyang x reader; summary: two best friends in a room, they might kiss? ; warnings: mention of alcohol and cheating (yn gets cheated on) (not theo !!); best friends to lovers ; the urge to write theo's pov is real now; 2.7k wc ; @kflixnet; biggest shot out to my fav girl, supporter and proofreader lia ( @sobun1est !! ) ; her comments and energy gave me the will to post this, the biggest thanks to her <3

Endless tears poured down your cheeks as the hiccups, a sign of your near panic attack, took hold. You tried to rationalize what you saw while attempting to figure out where you could go now, with the bowl of ice cream, tears in your eyes, and a broken heart.  

On that summer evening, you ran away from your boyfriend's (now ex-boyfriend's) home. That evening, you had confirmation of one of your worst worries and doubts that you had been attempting to ignore for far too long. 

You had been suspicious of his behavior for a time, but you had always tried to ignore your suspicions and trust him. But your trust was brutally shattered when you witnessed him carry a girl out of his car and kiss her.

Your heart had jumped, your hands trembled along with your entire body, and ultimately, your head had almost unconsciously directed your legs to move as far away from the place as possible (not before dumping your water bottle into that boy). You then turned to go.

At that exact moment, you let the tears flow and turned towards your place, where you feel most comfortable of all: your best friend's house, from your closest friend Choi Taeyang. 

During the walk, no music could distract you from the overwhelming sense of betrayal you felt. You promised yourself that you would bear this exhausting pain. But in the end, in that moment of misery, what happened to those empty promises?

You repeated it to yourself as if it were a mantra, persuading yourself that it wasn't that bad. You intermingled insults and sobs, but you attempted to remain calm as you walked with your head held high and your cheeks as crimson as your eyes. You arrived like this after walking for almost an hour in front of Taeyang's door. At that point, the shame became obvious. Your conditions were awful, the ice cream had melted, and it was 11 pm. Maybe he wasn't even home? Maybe he went out with friends, or maybe he was still at the gym?

While these thoughts tormented you, your hand was moved by an unknown force and rang the bell. "who's this?" His voice was enough to make you gradually collapse. 

You just started crying while trying to say your name. You were tempted to hold back your feelings because you felt pathetic. However, it was too late to back out. You were slowly sitting on the floor, hoping Theo hadn't heard you so you could think straight about what to do. But before you could touch the ground, you listened to the door open and saw his figure approaching you.

"yn? are you ok?" He questioned you in a worried tone after approaching closer as soon as he could. You looked up, and as soon as your eyes linked, he spotted the blush on your face. He didn't notice your runny makeup or messy hair. He realized that there was something deeper behind the tears, some pain that was less obvious than what you wanted to show. "Let's go inside," he said without giving you a chance to reply. You stood up, gathered your belongings, and followed him into the home, your gaze lowering. Only then did you notice that he was wearing short black pajama trousers and a huge white shirt, and his hair was soaked. 

Could he have just gotten out of the shower? You confirmed your theory as soon as you entered the flat, where the lights were brighter and you could see his shirt clinging to his chest. It was almost transparent because of all the water that it absorbed... allowing you to see his rangy figure and his well-defined muscles... You instantly shifted your sight to his face for fear of being caught staring at him too long.

However, you also lost yourself while looking at his face. He was busy putting his wet hair into a rash ponytail while he wondered about what would have been the best thing to say. You were sitting in your normal seats, facing each other at his small kitchen table. He had silently given you some tissues and a glass of water. He had noted that your breathing had returned to normal and that your lost look was now more apathetic than the anger and despair that he had seen previously.

Minutes had passed, and none of the you two spoke. It was a strange silence in which you had a chance to not think about your pain and leave yourself vulnerable in front of him. "Do you want some cereals?" he asked. "Cereals?" you ask confused. "Yeah, I bought your favorites as well," he replied. You remember the ice cream that you still hold in your hands, and you gave it to him. "Ice cream soup, yummy," he said, mocking you. You smiled as you looked at him placing the ice cream in the freezer.

"You want to talk?" he inquired as he arranged your bowl of milk and cereal. "Milk first and then cereal," you said, pointing out that he was doing the opposite. "Come on, let's discuss seriously. It's cereal and then milk," he said, raising his brow and shaking his head. "We'll never agree on this huh," you stated swiftly before launching into another fight over that existential topic. So you sat down to eat some cereal at 11:30 p.m. during that summer Wednesday.

"Sorry I know it's late," you said at one point, coming from your thoughts. "Don't be sorry yn..wanna talk about what happened?" He responded to you with sincerity and empathy. "You were right; I left him. He cheated on me You told him with a faint smile.  

"That bastard," he murmured impulsively, nearly spitting out the food in his mouth. "You warned me, and I didn't listen to you."

"Not your fault, yn." he told you. He felt the anger mounting, but he didn't want you to notice: it was his turn to be strong for you. "Do you want to stay for this night?"

"Mh, are you sure?" 

"Of course! Stop feeling embarrassed yn. we're best friends right?" As a result, you nodded, removing the remaining doubt. "Yeah, you're right," you continued. Perhaps you were in a state of weakness because of what happened, but you still felt an unusual sensation in your stomach, you smiled and returned your gaze to your best friend. Many bright stars glowed in his eyes, and no words could express the feeling of peace that he was able to give you with just that glance.

The evening ended with a great video game in which your competitiveness kept you awake until 2 a.m. When you both agreed to declare a draw and fell asleep on the sofa. The last thing you recalled was him gently stroking your hair as you fell asleep.

And by that evening, you had proof that a day can be significantly improved in just a of hours thanks to the right person. What a sweet and comforting thought, mhm? 

It is, till you find yourself on that specific night dreaming about that starry-eyed boy who confesses to you with a kiss...

The dream was vivid, and you clearly remembered Theo blushing and handing you a bouquet. Confused words filled the air, and the next thing you knew, the two of you were caught in a passionate kiss that you both craved.  

And so you chose to die - leave a part of yourself - and then be reborn in his arms.

You woke up astonished in the middle of the night, opened your eyes, and looked around. The room was dark, and you could only barely see Theo's face, which was dangerously close to yours. You were lying on the couch near to each other, and you both fell into a deep sleep. You were still confused by your dream, but too many emotions had worn you down. So you opted to go back to sleep. You bent your head towards him and laid it under his chin, close to his chest, gripping you as tightly as possible to make him feel at ease. You unconsciously started counting the boy's breathing, like children do with sheep when they have to fall asleep.

"Do you have a dream about someone and then fall in love? or does the appearance of someone in your dream imply that you are already in love with them?" You asked Theo quietly. 

Two weeks passed since that day when: you saw your ex cheat on you, when you were in tears with your best friend(so as not to forget the dream of his confession...) 

"I would say first you fall in love, and then you dream of them"

"Ohh," you muttered, blushing slightly and looking away. "Maybe I'm not drunk enough for this conversation. Do you want anything? It's on me," Taeyang said as he stood up to head to the counter to buy some drinks. 

"The usual, thanks."

"Okay, pretty," he replied casually as he walked away.

You gulped loudly at his statement. Since when have nicknames become so serious in your friendship? When did insults and jokes stop being acceptable? But who knows? Maybe you misheard due to the loud music.

What you did not hear incorrectly was his first response... first you fall in love, and then you dream about someone, which is especially true if the dream includes a romantic aspect. What the hell does this mean? Now will you ever be able to naturally tell him your dream, or would your flushed face continue to betray you?

While you were thinking about this, you realized you were looking for him in the crowd, and that the space was becoming increasingly busy, and you no longer felt comfortable sitting at the table alone. So you got up and walked through the people to the counter to find Theo. Shortly after you recognized him, he was about to take the drinks. At that specific moment, you observed how captivating he looked.

He had the wallet in his mouth, and the drinks in one hand, while helping the bartender to clean up the liquid that had accidentally spilled on the counter. He had his hair partially over his eyes and was frowning as he grabbed the napkins to clean up. Soon after he finished, he turned and your gaze met. He grinned at you and moved to approach you. 

You spotted the stars in his eyes again, and a feeling of spinning pain filled your stomach. What was that?

"the air was getting oppressive, do you want to go out for a bit?" you asked him. "Sure, I am going to tell it to Keeho and the others, and then I will meet you outside," he said, offering you the drink and smiling kindly at you. 

As you approached the exit, you thought about how lucky his future girlfriend would be. You reminisced how he had stayed close to you for such a long time without ever being pushy or complaining, instead listening to your words through your emotions and thoughts.

You were sitting in the garden hammock, focusing on the sensations you felt and what was going on with you. Soon after, he came from the house and sat next to you.  

You two continued the conversation about the meaning of dreams, and he seemed confused as to why he had asked that sudden and random question. But you lied, telling him that you had dreamed of your favorite singer. He appeared disappointed; why did he expect it to be someone else? maybe him? or you were already too drunk to think straight?

Your conversation quickly turned to the general topic of dreams, and you started to feel the consequences of the alcohol. Tiredness came in, and you collapsed on the boy's shoulder while you were psychoanalyzing his dream, in which he confessed to a female whose identity "wasn't that relevant".

Once again, the last thing you remember before falling asleep was him lifting you on his shoulders and carrying you to the taxi while giggling about how happy he was in that moment.  

The third time you noticed the sparking stars in his eyes was on the last summer night before starting college. Months had passed since you first felt your heart flutter for him. 

Yes, it took you two months to realize that you were in love with your best friend. And you weren't stupid; you knew the feeling was mutual. All the tiny things he started doing for you, all the little gifts, all the sweet words, nicknames, all the times he told you he was thinking of you or that something reminded him of you (also thanks to Keeho, who openly told to you that Theo had a crush on you for at least a year and that he was head over heels for you).  

You were fastly moving to reach the boy's flat. You were supposed to be there already, but you were late because that day you chose to spend a little more time getting ready. It was supposed to be an easy outing with friends. But you were determined that it would be something more, which is why you meticulously planned every detail of your outfits.  

While you were imagining how the evening might turn out, your legs had led you to the boy's home. When you rang the bell, he answered the door and urged you to come up because he was a bit late too. You entered without asking any questions and made it to his front door. A few seconds later, you found the boy in front of you. He was wearing a white shirt, baggy brown pants, silver necklaces and bracelets, and a black pencil tip under his eyes.  

He had used a brown pencil and an eyeshadow of the same color for his eye makeup, as well as a brownish lip balm that made his lips shine.  This makeup suits him so well, you thought while looking at him with a lost gaze.  

To say you'd been watching him all evening is an underestimate. That simple image of him was enough to warm your heart and brighten your evening. "Who are you making yourself so beautiful for this evening?" he said after countless seconds of staring at each other. "Look who's talking, huh?" you replied, glancing him up and down for an excuse to admire the beautiful boy in front of you once more. He chuckled and allowed you in. You sat at the kitchen table while he was finishing getting ready.

You sat down and ended up thinking about all the possible scenarios; what would your confession be like? Would you have had the courage? How would he react?

"Yn...," you heard. You quickly turned towards that voice, which was both familiar and soothing. As soon as you turned, you observed him standing, holding a tiny bouquet and keeping his attention on you. "Did it happen like this in your dream?" he said as he handed you the most fragrant and magnificent arrangement of flowers you'd ever seen. "How do you know it was you?"

"Oh, you told me that while you were drunk," he said nonchalantly.  

"So you knew I liked you!" you replied. 

"Do you like me?" he immediately asked. 

Silence fell, your eyes widened, and your hand moved to cover your mouth. to discover her immediately afterward, when you once again recognized in her eyes the most beautiful starry sky you had ever seen. “Well, I had not expected my confession to be like this," you said, giggling and walking closer to him.

Only to move it right away, when you saw again the most gorgeous starry sky you'd ever seen in his eyes.   

You both broke your closeness, and a sweet kiss changed the mood. "if you gonna break my heart, this is a good start you know Theo…" You muttered to him between breathless lips. That boy had witnessed your whole trust, vulnerability, and entire existence. You had allowed him to see and experience that aspect of you, but you knew you'd never regret it. "I saw you, I knew you, and I loved you yn. Allow me to do it, and trust in my endless feelings for you. The beginning of us will never finish."

And so you chose to die - leave a part of yourself - and then be reborn in his arms.  

[nakaira]

 . . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 PLEASE STRIP ME! ; a fyodor dostoyevsky fic. ❞

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . till date this fic remains one of my favs. fyodor is so hot ugh.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; sugar daddy!fyodor, sugar baby!reader, fem!reader nsfw, angst in the beginning, confessions, hurt to comfort ig, riding, nipple pinching and sucking, fyodor refers to himself as "daddy", uses of term "dumb doll", fyodor is hot, and that's all ig.

the twilight sky outside analyzed the situation and told the stars about it who twinkled in amusement, all of them finding pleasure in your misery, like the man you gave your heart to.

you glance at the clock on the wall and then huff, turning away from its direction as if the clock was the one behind your emotional state, as if it were the clock who played with your heartstrings as if your heart was an instrument.

it's nearly one in the night and you are still sitting on the luxurious bed with your back against the headboard, reminiscing about the first time you sat on this very bed and felt the same feeling of being an outcast, as if you are a foreign to this luxury -- which you are.

your hands gripped your silk night gown which reached till your midthighs, a very revealing and loose one at that. you bit your lip to produce pain which had the ability to divert your attention away from the aching in your heart.

alas, it worked but in ways you didn't expect. for the physical pain of harshly biting down on your bottom lip was the cheery on top needed by your brain to stimulate a signal which made the dams in your eyes open up, moistoning your eyes and blurring your vision.

at the same moment, the man behind this reaction tried to slowly open the door without making any noise but once he saw the lamp lights on beside the nightstand near the bed, he raised his eyebrows.

fyodor didn't expect you to be awake at this hour and he made sure you knew about this by the way he continued to look at you even while closing the door and walking towards you.

a heart heavier then your brain which is littered with opposing thoughts, you sit straight and look at fyodor, taking a deep breath for the oxygen will be knocked out of you very soon by your own heart.

"what is wrong? can't sleep? is the dress not to your liking?" voiced the man whose cold voice could put even snowy lands to shame, a man who held too much interest in his eyes but too little in his tone for fyodor dostoyevsky is an enigma. even to you who had been with him for more than a year now.

you do not answer, no, you can not. your eyes frantically scan over his features, those soft lips which you can kiss only in your dreams, that pale skin which makes you wonder just how good would it look with love bites, the sharp jaw you want to cup and kiss and lastly, those damned  eyes.

the rich dark purple which shines brightly despite those tired looking eyes can captivate you, play you like a doll and you won't even realise for the one who admires the castle won't see the blood, sweat and tears of those who made it.

you gulp, your heart beat being the only sound you heard for a minute or two before you shook your head. ". . .i wanted . . . to talk to you."

why is your voice such a contrast to his? his confident voice puts your quiet and nervous one to shame.

fyodor hums, stepping towards his side of the bed as he lays down with a sigh and after mentally pushing yourself with the reminder that it's either now or never ; you swiftly move to be on top of fyodor, your knees planted on the soft mattress on either sides of his waist as you look down at him with sorrowful eyes.

"aren't i attractive to you? or am i not your type?" murmuring the harsh words which have been piercing your mind ever since you realised you fell for the very man who never kissed you, who made it clear that your presence was something he could buy and he did.

"generally having a sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship means a mutual benefit. sex or sexual favors in exchange of money. of course it varies with different people but . . . paying me only to have my company . . . don't you ever wish to have some more?" your voice -- is it doing justice to convey all your pent up emotions and feelings? you wonder.

now, fyodor is a man of rationality and cold logic but even he is a human.

how can you not see the way he is gulping thickly, able to outline and picture your cunt as the flimsy lingere nightgown is doing its purpose of letting his imagination run loose. the way you are leaning down to be closer to him caused one of the thin straps of the nightgown to fall off your shoulders and near your elbow, allowing fyodor a glimpse of just a small portion of your cleavage.

how can fyodor focus on your words when your lips look so pouty and eyes so moistened? lord, oh lord, you answered his prayers, didn't you?

oh dear lord, is this angel on top of him his to corrupt?

"tell me, why won't you touch me? let me fulfill my duty as a sugarbaby. let me satisfy you sometimes fyodor." you softly let out, staring at him and fyodor, oh fyodor, what are you doing?

why are you pulling on the angel's other strap and letting it fall down her elbow? do you not know your patience and self control is running thin?

you can't do it. you aren't fyodor to conceal your emotions and feelings deep within the chambers of your mind.

so you allow a sob to travel through your throat, allowing it the freedom to be freed and let fyodor hear it, you let him hear your misery.

"you always do this. these actions of yours make me feel as if you desire me too . . . only for you to shut me out by acting cold and distant again." your voice is strained, cracking even as your vocal chord is being choked by the nimble hands of sadness.

"am i some kind of a doll to you? who you can play with as much as you want?" your words don't seem to have any effect on the russian below you whose expressions haven't changed a bit.

it's always this cold and calm look of his which you hate but oh, how you love it too.

and fyodor noticed it. he always does. the way the corner of your eyes soften as your eyes go all doe like whenever you admire his features but he doesn't like how that softness is always shielded by a sheet of longing and sadness.

"if you were to tell me to dance on fire for you, i would gladly become one with the fire for its not the fire which burns me but your coldness, fyodor." you confess, biting your bottom lip in a fragile attempt to stop or hide their quivering but this action of your's, the furrowed eyebrows and the slightly red eyes of your's makes you look all the more appealing to fyodor.

"have i done something to make you feel like so? don't cry. didn't i tell you? your presence brings me joy, your opinions and perspectives are intresting enough for me to spend enough to have you by my side. why? are you not satisfied? do you want more? tell me what you want and it's your's, you know there is no limit to what i've to offer to you." the cold and calm tone accompanied with the russain accent is a voice you hear daily yet still can't get enough of.

you shake your head. no, he can't offer you what you desire.

"i don't want your wealth anymore. i want your love and that's the only thing you can't offer." you weakly mutter and close your eyes, waterfalls of heartbreak wetting your cheeks for even you know that your desire is a painful lie you live in and hope to achieve.

fyodor feels the tightening of his pants and the slight hardening of his cock at your soft sniffles, god, how vile is he to get turned on by your sniffles of sorrow?

"sweet doll, do you think my affection for you is fake? . . . is that what you think? are you getting bored of me? do you want to leave?" fyodor asks, his voice a bit sad, looking at you whose eyes are still closed and hearing his words make you cry even more as you now don't feel shy or hide your sobs, letting them out in the open for fyodor to hear for maybe then, he could understand your feelings.

these simple words are not your breaking point. the sadness lingering in his tone is. the subtle frown which you are sure is adorning his mouth is. those affectionate touches and him being more touchy with you since the past two months only to distance himself from you before things could escalate further is.

the way his hands immediately cling onto your hips as they squeeze your hips tightly but in a comforting manner is.

"i love you! i love you! why are you so smart yet stupid to realise this!? i don't want to be a dumb sugar baby who is happy with a little bit of attention! that won't work for me! i need all of your attention, all of you! fyodor i need you! i need your love, i want your love!" you sob loudly and oh, oh.

not only did you reach your breaking point tonight, fyodor did too.

his grip on your hips tightened and his eyes went a bit dark, more sharper.

"stop testing my patience dumb doll." was a sentence which was enough to make you straighten up and behave yourself, but not tonight. oh definitely not tonight.

tonight you will pour your heart out to him and wait for his judgment.

"i try so hard to make you notice me, to seduce you yet none of them work . . . am I that unattractive? or are you in love with someone else? are you even capable of loving fyodor? capable of loving me?" you stare down at him, eyes sad and lips parted to let quick and short breaths escape along with occasional sobs.

the tears stopped coming long ago as the anguish converted into a cold calmness of sadness and the ones which flowed down your cheek began to dry up but left their trail there for fyodor to see.

this was it. the final push fyodor needed for him to pour out his feelings, his emotions and his pent up desires.

fyodor scoffs in amusement and only tightens his grip on your hips more, enough to leave a bruise and tight enough to immobilize you.

"dumb doll, how can you say all that when you don't even know the thoughts in my head everytime i see you? do you know what i think everytime i make you wear these sexy nightgowns?" fyodor's voice is low and seductive yet it has that soft edge to it and you purse your lips in embarrassment as you feel the wet pool in your core and you know fyodor felt it too or he wouldn't have smirked the way he did, so arrogantly yet arrogance looks good on him, sexy if you may add.

hands of temptation belongs to fyodor as he lets his hands run up and down your curves.

"not treat you like a doll? nonsense. you are my doll, how can i not treat you like one? so fragile and magnificent, all for me." the last part wasn't a hope or wish but a statement. fyodor wasn't asking you to be his, he already made you his when he first paid you for spending time with him.

"do you even know what i think every time i look at you, especially when you look so preety when you are sad?" the smooth voice holding onto the calm and collected tone which made it clear to the receiver that fyodor isn't just any human but a part of the rare percentage who are unbelievably majestic, lured you in, you wondered often if he is a siren.

you shook your head as a no, sniffling occasionally as fyodor's hand went lower towards the hem of your nightgown, he played with it as he said,

"i wish," he muttered, looking at your lips before he looked up at your eyes again, lifting the hem of your nightgown.

"to strip you of your clothes and feel your body . . . with your soft, smooth skin . . ."

you part your lips as you let out a soft gasp, feeling fyodor's cold fingers trail the flesh of your ass before he gripped one of your buttocks and he squeezed it roughtly between his cold fingers as if to show you how your last claim of heartbreak angered him.

hearing your gasp, fyodor smiles seductively, and eyes you, admiring the cut of the dress which was loose enough to give him a glimpse of your cleavage, the way your hair fell all over your face and the way you were basically straddling him which resulted in your nightgown to ride up.

"you say all this but your actions proved otherwise" you furrow your eyebrows as you mutter and the man beneath you just continues to eye you in a more intense, vulgar way.

“to touch you . . . in the most intimate places, but how can i? you know i am a man whose morals and beliefs shape him. so how can i think about you in such a way which contrasts my beliefs?” did he ask you? you weren't sure, your focus was on his hand which went towards your hip and grabbed it.

you part your lips, letting out a shaky breath as fyodor's fingers dig into your skin to grip it while his thumb applies slight pleasure to your hip, it feels as if he is trying to memorize the way your skin feels against him.

“how can i ignore my desires any longer? my desires to kiss you . . .” fyodor's eyes move up and down your body in a perfect coordination with his hands which grab your shoulders, kneading onto them as he then trails his hands down your arms and towards your wrists.

not only is your breath a bit frantic but so is his.

angel, oh angel, is this not enough for you to open your eyes and let go of that foreskaen purity?

oh let the drug who is injected into your veins, begin it works.

you took the drug yourself. the drug named fyodor dostoyevsky.

“and to taste your sweetness.” fyodor tugs on your wrist making you lean near him more.

"my beliefs and morals are what shaped me but you are what makes me feel human. my desires towards you knows no limit so don't ever try to question my emotions and feelings towards you. or i'll make another use of that preety mouth of your's." he whispers that last sentence.

broken. the thread of fyodor's self resistance and control broke.

fyodor pushes your head towards him, pressing his lips against your's as he begins to kiss you, he had always known his feelings would be reciprocated but it sure did feel good to have your lips move against his.

dancing in sin, the music is provided by the short and hot breaths you two share, you could feel your core throb as you placed one of your hands on the bed to stabilize yourself and the other on fyodor's cheek, caressing the skin you dreamt of littering in your marks and kisses.

like a snake, fyodor's hands slithered towards your back to push it to have you more closer towards him.

after a long while, you pull back to catch your breath, looking at fyodor as you parted your lips to speak but how can he just hear words leaving those wet and slightly swollen lips?

oh no. absolutely not.

fyodor pushed himself up slightly to capture your lips in a heated kiss again, elbow propped against the bed while with the other hand, he brushed your hair to the side.

you closed your eyes just like the russain beneath you, trying to appreciate every single movement made by his lips, his tongue swiping against your bottom lip before it entered your mouth and his occasional biting down on your bottom lip.

when he pulls back again to let both of you recover from the lack of oxygen, fyodor chuckles breathlessly.

"fuck it." he mutters a curse before changing your positions, making you lay on your back as his lips cling onto your's yours in a desperate manner, clinging onto you like how a water droplet clings onto the edge of a leaf, wet sounds produced due to the kisses shared between you two were the epitome of just how sinful the night will get from here on.

fyodor is desperate.

more.

more and more.

oh lord, he knew once he started, he won't be able to stop and look, now he is tainting this angel of your's.

what will you do now when he is not letting the angel breath, continuously kissing her, one after the another -- you will do nothing, whatever needs to be done will be decided by the god under whose mercy the angel's heart is.

your heart beating is frantic but not more then the arousal which is aggressively coursing through your veins, you try to clench your legs to stop the slick from dripping on your panties but fyodor's hand on your inner thigh had forced you to keep your leg open.

fyodor leaned down to plant soft kisses on your lips, chin and jaw, trailing the wet kisses as to crave a path of his love.

"i will only ask once for my patience is thin right now, so tell me, sweet doll, tell me if you want this," fyodor leans up to capture your lips in a quick kiss again, "because once i have my way, i'll never let you leave me."  he whispers, eyes trailing up to stare at your face and can you really say no to those purple eyes which were hypnotic enough to make your breathing stop midway.

"you are sounding like a big talker right now--" your words were cut short by the gasp which left your lips when fyodor's hand which was on your inner thigh had trailed up to press his thumb against your wet core.

"big talker? i'll show you that i don't speak empty words, dumb doll." fyodor smirks, the silence of the night didn't find it offending how his voice cut through the calm and hot atmosphere and rather they found it just as soothing as you, the russian could almost be passed as a god with the way the moonlight falling from the opened windows reflected his pale skin and dark irises, and oh, you closed your eyes as you exhaled shakily.

"please . . . please strip me. fuck me. i made myself clear too, no? i want you, your touch, your lips all over me. hah . . . you are no saint, you are the devil. stop fucking with these morals and just fuck me fyodor!" you beg, voice proving your desperation and neediness to have the russian all over you, to make your dreams which you hide in the darkest depths of your heart a reality.

fyodor began to rub his thumb over your wet core, rubbing against the sensitive bud with nothing but your panties to restrict the pleasure he created.

and is he really the god of your heart if he doesn't listen to your prayers?

"then let me show you just how much i desire you and once i am done, you'll be chanting my name like a prayer and when i repeat this all tomorrow? oh doll," fyodor coos the last part, biting his lip as he chuckled, "my dolly, my sweet sweet dolly, you won't even know if you are on earth or in heaven."

fyodor didn't hear your reply, immediately moving down to bite on your collarbone which he was only ever able to brush his fingers against for the past few months when he realised that maybe he wants to keep you by his side for as long as he can and could for fyodor doesn't think he has feelings for you as strong as to call them love.

fyodor sucked on your collarbone, licking it after before he looked up at you again, overcoming by the sudden urge to look at your face and the sight of your parted lips and barely opened eyes upon receiving such a small portion of pleasure made you look pure in fyodor's eyes, not to mention the moonlight falling on half of your body had only made you look more ethereal.

the nightgown straps barely on your elbows anymore as they revealed the upper portion of your cleavage and fyodor immediately knew that he had to free you from the fabric which is an obstacle for his hands from exploring your curves and body.

fyodor leans up on his arm, using the other to hook his index finger on your strap, pulling it down your arm, you raised your arm to help him slip the strap out with ease and once fyodor slipped both the straps off, he ripped the nightgown apart with his hand, immediately clinging his lips onto your naked breasts.

it started off as a single lick against your nipple before he went back to swirl his tongue against it, flickering it with his tongue.

then the sensation increased as his fingers trailed up your thighs and slipped into the nightgown, continuing their path up your other breast as he grazed the nipple with his nail before flickering it with his finger.

soon his index and middle finger squeezed the nipple between them, pulling on it as it made you hiss and fyodor smirked against your breast.

fyodor found pleasure in hearing your short breaths and gasps of pleasure and he would've loved to go and tease you for hours, manipulating you into thinking he is finally giving in to touch you, only for him to prove you wrong . . . only if it weren't for his painfully hard boner.

fyodor clicked his tongue before he grabbed your hips with both of his hands and rolled over with you on top of him once again as he looked up at you with that devilish smirk on his face, minute sweatbeads were beginning to form on his forehead and if you squint enough, you could see him gulping.

"be my good doll and ride me and tell me all your complaints. sweet doll, i will listen to every complain of your's today" fyodor tells you, hands slowly removing your panties as you lift yourself up to help him, he throws it away, not bothering to remove his sweatpants or anything as he immediately guides you to sit on his crotch, moving your hips to create some friction to ease his painfully hard erection, silently gasping as you slick wets his fabric.

fyodor smirks as his eyes remain closed, teasing you, "go on sweet doll, begin complaining to your daddy."

and when you nod, your head tilted back as you close your eyes and begin to move back and forth on his clothed boner, fyodor's eyes couldn't tear away from you ; your nightgown which was now rolled down and ripped to reveal your clevage, the slight pink mark appearing on your collar bone and your hair which fell infront of your face -- fyodor sucked in a breath.

his cold hands came to restrict your hips as he tapped once, you got the signal and you lifted yourself up slightly and watch fyodor skillfully remove his sweatpants and briefs with one hand, stroking his hardened and aggressive cock a few times before he rubbed the tip against your folds to get your slick on the tip, rubbing the length against your inner thighs which had slick dripping down.

"sit." he commanded a bit too softly to match the fire of lust blazing in his purple irises and if you paid enough attention to look past the pleasure and pain of sinking down on his cock, you could've seen the way his irises were dilated and reflected your image in them then you could've understood how deeply and intensely fyodor always stares at you.

a pained whimper left your lips as you settle down on his cock, feeling it strech your walls for the very first time. your fingers can't even fathom the sensation of his cock and now that you finally have it inside you, you know no one else, not even your own fingers or the finest toys out there, could satisfy you the way he is going to for the reason is simple, the same way the heart has no use if there is no blood left for it to pump, there is no libido in you if there is no fyodor.

for the sight of the man makes your brain fall into the lap of arousal and submit yourself to it, to fyodor.

"i am your doll? then why don't you cherish me and love me? why do you act as if we are just two partners in a deal? i am not one of your business partners, don't treat me professionally like you treat them" you grit your teeth, trying to get used to the pain.

you move up when you feel the pain become a bit bearable, going down on his cock as a choked breath leaves you and fyodor's eyes widen ; you move up and down his cock again, biting your lip in pain but the face you make as you are in pain yet try to give pleasure to him -- oh what a sight.

"you claim to love me? dumb man --" you let out a gasp, feeling your pussy clench around his cock as he sucked in a breath, "you are so smart yet how can you be so oblivious that your coldness makes me think you don't even like me?"

and suddenly, fyodor is hyper aware of his surroundings of how the bedsheet moves with your movements, the wet squelch as his cock enters and leaves your hole and your and his grunts and pants filling the entire room.

the hair falling on your face sticked to your forehead as you begin to move more on his cock.

fyodor parts his lips, your furrowed eyebrows relaxes as you let out a breath of relief, feeling the pain slowly turning into pleasure and fyodor did not stop himself or try to fool himself into believing he is superior when he leaned forwards, elbow propping against the bed as he brought his other hand towards your face and gently tucked the hair strands sticking to your forehead away, staring at you with a fond smile and suddenly everything makes sense, the sudden urge to touch you since the past few months, to whisper into your ears and watch you get shy and to give you whatever you desire, it all makes sense to him now for no one understood human emotions better then fyodor but to feel them, that's a different thing and he finally did.

"touch me, kiss me, caress me and let me do the same to you, you don't know, no one else can compare to you, you've me wrapped around your preety fingers. and it angers me to think someone else will claim you as her's one day. it isn't fair! you are mine, you should be mine, i don't want anyone else to have you except me. you are the type i want to marr--"

"i love you, my dumb doll." fyodor intrupted you as he breaths out, hand coming down to gently squeeze your nape, the sudden desire he felt is something he won't deny anymore as he pushes your nape forwards to once again have your lips against his.

your eyes widened, you've known fyodor enough to know words of affections are foreign to him so to hear him speak the purest words of intimation?

oh how your heart surrendered to him once more, how it bowed to him and was ready to bend to his will.

"i. love. you." with each word he spoke against your lips, he thrusted his hips upwards and relished as you moaned.

"i. love. you." he once again emphasized to let you hear him loud and clear, sucking on your bottom lip before pulling back and grabbing your chin with his index finger and thumb.

"you hear me? are my words reaching your ears, my doll? i love you."  fyodor gritted his teeth, looking at your widened eyes and parted lips and how he resisted the urge to utterly ruin you and have you cry out his name as he saw how tears glistened and flowed down your cheeks.

"go on, confess the feelings you've always bottled up, my baby doll. and don't you dare stop no matter what, speak. tell your daddy how much you love him." fyodor commands, pinching your chin as he smiled seductively, pulling your chin closer to plant a small kiss on the corner of your lips, before he moved towards your lips to nibble on your upper lip.

fyodor pulled back and his purple eyes shined devilishly as he pulled on your nipple. "move your body and your lips, my doll. daddy is all your's. wanna wife you before the sun rises tomorrow yet i can't do that without knowing if you feel the same, can i? open that mouth and complain, after all, when have i ever denied you desires and wishes?"

[ruthlesscore]

hi, hey, and hello!

I saw your stuff for ed and thought it was pretty neat! (It also kinda inspired me to ask you this request)

Whenever you get the chance could you maybe write something for A.K.I?

i just wanna see one of my fav sf6 characters in action!

A.K.I x Reader - Bubble of Toxin

- Thank you so much for requesting! Just like the last two posts, I've been planning an A.K.I related post! I really hope you enjoy this. I had fun writing it! -

- I had trouble trying to keep A.K.I in character, sorry about that! -

- The only way I can see A.K.I being with someone, and getting over her feelings of F.A.N.G Fei, is for her to relate to someone on a personal level. You feel? -

You come from a prestigious family. You're family is strange and keeps too many secrets. One being what you inherited from your father, which he gets from his mother: poison immunity. Who knows how this generational trait started, but you do know you have a special type of poison immunity, a genetic mutation, that the rest of your blood relatives don't: you are immune to more than one type of poison, which is nice considering everyone else is immune to only one type. Venom, plants, metals, bug bites, snake bites, carbon monoxide, and mushrooms. Due to this, you were really reckless as a teenager. You constantly got into fights and trouble with the law. When you turned of age you received a job offering that set you straight. No more street rat BS, and no more fighting just to roughen your hands up a bit.

You were an interpool anget.. and a self proclaimed culinary anthropologist, so you have to act like you have some sort of dignity. You go from place to place eating food, researching the ways human culture engage with food in a complex social and cultural way, and kicking ass for a just cause.

You've been all over the world, all except China. It's not like you don't like China, no not at all. It's more like there's more talented agents in the area, like Chun-Li, that are more qualified for the job than you! ... until you received a call from the commissioner. He asked if you could deliver something important to a personnel in Hong Kong. Of course you accept and head down there immediately.

Once you arrive, you head right for the rendezvous point in Tian Hong Yuan and handed off the package to the personnel. Now that Interpool work is done, you can finally get to what you like best, eating. Heading for the nearest food stand, with your yuan in your hand, you feast your eyes on some Kung Pao Chicken. After paying the vendor, you were heading to find somewhere to sit. Before you even reached a seat, a random bystander shouted.

"Someone just fainted!"

You turn your attention to the crowd forming. Now, you weren't a doctor or anything, but you were an Interpool agent! It's pretty much your job to help, right? You rush over to the crowd, pushing people out the way. The man who collapsed on the ground had a small pouch in his half opened hand. His body seemed to be screaming in pain. He groaned as if he couldn't move.

"Time to work. Time to work."

You look up to see a woman with a style you've never seen before. She works her way through the paniced crowd and to the man.

"You thought I had money in there? Oh, that's just my delicious poison!"

You think she talks funny. Her dialect is a bit childish for her age. She pokes at the mans chest with her claw like gauntlets.

"When inhaled, coriamyrtin blocks the gamma-aminobuytyrix acid receptors in the central nervous system, causing spasmodic muscle contractions... Time to put you out of your misery."

Misery? This lady is going to kill that man! You scarf down the rest of your Kung Pao Chicken before setting the disk down on a nearby table. You grab the lady's hand gently before pushing her off of the man with a push of her shoulder.

"You cannot take an innocent man's life!"

The woman clicks her tongue and looks at you with a shocked face.

"Ah, but he stole from me."

"Even so! You can't just flat out murder someone on the street!"

After a pause..

"Hm? Is that so?"

The lady stands up and shakes her head. She stands in a way that you can only assume she wishes to engage in a street fight with you, and you comply without another word. You stand in your typical fighting stance stance.

After a tough and fierce battle with the mysterious woman, you emerge victorious. The woman could only glare at you before tapping the poor man on the forehead, cleansing him of the poison he was tainted with. The woman grabed her pouch and left, and you hope you'd never see her again.

The next morning, you're down at the Nan Lian Garden. Since you were finish with your mission already, you might as well spend the rest of the trip eating and exploring, right? While walking along the path, you pass regular civilians. Once you hit that corner, you saw her again. That woman from yesterday. You couldn't help but to glare. An old man stood next to you.

"Hm? Are you looking at Aki dài fu?"

You turn to him.

"The doctor? Her? The woman in the black cheongsam?"

"Yes, her. She's a traveling doctor and very kind to the elderly. Be sure to say hi when you walk past her."

The old man his headed his way, levaing you alone... So her name is Aki? You take that bit of information with you as you continue down the path. You see Aki staring into the water from the bridge. You slowly walk past her, your street rat ways slowly pushed itself back into your head.

"Still trying to kill innocent civilians, Aki?"

She doesn't even turn to look at you. She just rolls her shoulders.

"Yesterday, when we fought, my poisons didn't work on you."

You stood next to her on the bridge, looking down into the water with her.

"And your poisons never will."

"How annoying."

"You wanna go?"

It felt like the two of you were standing there for what felt like hours, but was only a few minutes. The wind gently blew through your hair.

"____."

"Shishishi.. Don't go telling strangers your name. You don't know what I might do with it."

You just rolled your eyes. You turned to look at her.

"That thing. How'd you make that bubble you made? To make a toxin like that in such a short time is mad."

"Mad? I have built up an impressive resistance to neurotoxins. All because of my impressive master, F.A.N.G Fei!"

Who? Damn, you didn't even care. This lady was a straight lunatic and a possible threat to people's lives. As she went on and on about how great her master was, you began to wonder how far does her resistance goes. She said she built it up, but yours is due to a genetic mutation. As you drowned her words out, you couldn't help but to think that you finally found someone outside the family with a resistance to poison. Even if hers is built up.

"It's a family thing."

You stated, cutting her off.

"Every blood relative on the old man's side has an immunity to poison. The type of poison varies from person to person."

Aki just looked at you. Her lips drawn in a straight line.

"Really? I've never heard of it being a genetic trait. Interesting."

She sticks her hand up and the nails got longer and sharper.

"I should take a blood sample. Hold still ____."

"Huh?!"

Aki's lips curled into a smile.

"Kidding, shishishi!"

After awhile, you decide to head back to the place you were staying. Maybe the doctor isn't so bad.

Now, you were a traveling agent, and Aki stationed herself in China. It wasn't long before you had to leave and continue your work elsewhere. When you did leave, you thought about her and the way she talked about poisons. You went 4 entire months without talking to her before heading back to China for some more cultural experiences. You met her in the same spot in Tian Hong Yuan around midnight. She wasn't surprised to see you. You invited her to grab a meal with you, asking her for recommendations. You didn't know her life outside the bubble of toxin, and she didn't know yours. The meal was so good that you decided to get some food with her the next time you saw each other. Of course, Aki said if you win in a street fight against her, she'll pay for the meal.

It's became routine for the two of you. Grabbing food everytime you see each other, talking about your interests, consuming different poisons, and street fighting. You two enjoy your meals so much, it's starting to feel like dates. Oh, and Aki's smile is so sweet. Even if she constantly finds joy in morbid things, if she's happy, then it's fine. Aki blushes when she laughs at your shortcomings. Oh, when you smile at her, her shoulders loosen up, her hands place neatly on her chest, and her eyes widen in awe. Then she scratches you straight in the face, screaming about how annoying you are, calling you a rat and other things as she storms off. You started to think she had a crush on you at one point. At the end of your 4th meal together, you asked to exchange phone numbers.

At some point, it became mandatory to call Aki once a week and talk for 10 minutes or more. She seems to be enjoying your company more and more.

Now, Aki isn't one for physical person outside from her master, but she picked up the habit of sizing you up followed by a light kick of the shins when she sees you. She says that youre a small mouse and she's a snake.

Once she gets even more comfortable with you she'll introduce you to F.A.N.G. She gave you fair warning that if you attempt to hurt him, she will murder you.

If F.A.N.G. likes you, Aki will become very cuddly around you. If he doesn't, you will die.

Aki has no intention of learning about your occupation outside of culinary antropology, and you don't care for hers outside of her medical practice. As long as you keep your nose out of her business, everything will be fine. As for distance, it doesn't bother her, but she wants to see you in person at least once a month.

You two don't have a formal title to your relationship, but it's clear to everyone that something is going on.

You just want this delusion to last forever. To be at peace with Aki and to hold her in your arms.

"But the spider will eat the butterfly eventually."

[summers-art]

Not on the playlist or even on Spotify but A Step Away from Xenoblade 3 for good Angsty Metamy song

I put this ask in my draft to "remind myself" to listen to this song and well, guess what happened. Anyway, 1 and a half week later I finally did listen to it. IT'S VERY GOOD, VERY ANGSTY, I LOVE THAT

fav part of the lyrics:

I knew my faults, but I pretended I didn't know I fear I'm not the kind of man you know I see you smile pretending еverything is all right But that made me feel morе in misery

Wow!! I love pain, misery, agony even. I love you break up era, at least that's what I'm reading this song as. Then again, some of the lyrics sounds like one of them is dead and I am reminded that robots probably "live" longer than mobians as long as they have the right tools and shit and now I can make myself even more miserable with evil thoughts in my head. We love to see it 🫶🥲

[aceofwhump]

Have you made a list or notes on whumpy Hallmark and if so where?🥺

You know what, I haven't yet! Let me do that for ya now. And if anyone wants to add their favs please do so!

A Gift To Remember: Darcy (Ali Liebert) hits Aiden (Peter Porte) while riding her bike and he gets knocked out and loses his memory. It’s pretty good.

Love on the Sidelines : Laurel (Emily Kinney) is a struggling fashion designer who finds herself with a job as a personal assistant for Danny (John Reardon), a quarterback sidelined with an broken ankle. Danny is on crutches for most of the movie and is recovery from his injury.

Spirit of Christmas: A young lawyer (Jen Lilley) finds romance with a spirit (Thomas Beaudoin) that takes the form of a human 12 days before Christmas. He was murdered and there are flashbacks to him being attacked and killed.

Christmas Homecoming: Stars Michael Shanks (Daniel Jackson from SG1!!) as an Army Captain recovering from an injury in battle. He's got a broken leg and suffers from survivors guilt and ptsd.

Hailey Dean Mysteries: Deadly Estate for some good poisoning whump of a medical examiner. You want unconscious? medically induced coma? respirator? bedside vigils? worry? waking up with a twitching hand? walking down the hospital floor holding onto their iv pole? Then this is the movie for you!

Love Blossoms: one small part when the main guy, Declan, gets sick with a cold during the movie. It’s kind of cute but the rest of the movie's got nothing.

Second Chances: "A badly injured leg forces fireman Jeff, who lost his father in a fire as a young boy, to rent a ground floor room during his recovery. Thus he moves in with Jenny, a 911 emergency call center operator, and her two young children, Luke and Elsie, who soon dote on him as an ideal substitute father and try matching him with their mother."

My Gal Sunday: Henry (Cameron Mattheson) gets shot in the beginning of the movie.

Signed Sealed Delivered Lost Without You: Oliver goes on a hike with his father. His dad trips and gets a seemingly innocuous injury on his leg but the two of them get lost in the woods and the injury turns out to be life threatening.

A Godwink Christmas Miracle of Love: Eric (Alberto Frezza) is run over by a plow near the end of the film. There's lots of surgery, worry, hospital stuff.

Retreat to Paradise: "Jordan is recovering from a shoulder injury and his grumpiness tempts Ellie, his carer, to leave him to his misery. But will romance finally blossom?"

The Christmas Waltz: Roman (Will Kemp) hits his head due to slipping on an icy sidewalk and has to go to hospital

Taking a Shot at Love: "Sparks fly between a ballet instructor and a professional hockey player as she tries to help him recover from the same injury that sidelined her dancing career." It's not got a lot of whump but it is about a hockey player in rehab.

Martha's Vineyard Mysteries series: The whole series. Jesse Metcalfe's character Jeff was shot on a previous case and the bullet is still in lodged in his back and it causes him pain a lot AND he continually has nightmares about the incident. It's great.

Mystery 101: Killer Timing: Travis (Kristopher Polaha) gets blown up and even though the aftermath doesn't last long its still wonderful. He gets knocked out, there's an ambulance and hospital scene (kinda), worried family members.

Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater: Maggie O'Donnell (Ashley Williams) accidentally breaks Lucas Cavelli (Niall Matter)'s arm while carrying a Christmas Tree and offers him a room to stay in when he can't find a hotel room cause she feels guilty.

A Timeless Christmas: Charles Whitley (Ryan Paevey) passes out in 1903 and wakes up in 2020.

Aurora Teagarden A Bundle of Trouble: Martin Bartell (Yannick Bisson) gets shot in the shoulder

Christmas on the Range: Clint McCree (Nicholas Gonzalez) is attacked and beaten up pretty badly.

Mix Up in the Mediterranean: Josh (Jeremy Jordan)'s twin brother Julian gets hurt and can’t do a cooking competition so Josh takes over.

The Christmas Cure: Mitch (Steve Byers) falls off ladder and gets a concussion

Love's Christmas Journey: Sheriff Aaron Davis (Greg Vaughan) gets shot in the leg while chasing a robber. His injury is bad and gets infected. He gets a fever and is rescued by an old man who cares for him. The wound needs cauterizing and he suffers fever, chills, and more.

Hearts in the Game: Diego Vasquez (Marco Grazinni) is a hot shot baseball pitcher who has a panic attack during a game which costs the team the game. Turns out it was triggered by the anniversary of his moms death and he has another panic attack later in the movie as well.

Fourth Down in Love is about an athlete who is sidelined by an injury. Broken ribs I think? 

Rip in Time: Another fun time travel movie. Rip (Niall Mater) gets knocked out at least once. 

Three Wise Men and a Baby: Paul Campbell's character has social anxiety and has a sort of panic attack in the park at the beginning of the movie.

Jolly Good Christmas: Will Kemp's character falls into a frozen river and he comes out shaking and shivering and she gets him a blanket and tea and he needs a hot shower. 

That's all I've got for right now. The bolded ones have the best whump in my opinion so definitely check those out first :) Love's Christmas Journey and the Martha's Vineyard Mysteries are A+ whump hallmark movies. Do those first ;)

[waywardprintmaker]

How I feel about this character

He is my blorbo and my horse plinko. He was also the first ever fanart piece I ever drew for Hogleg.

I got immediately excited when he first introduced himself as a Gaunt because I knew the background lore for them. I even ran to my friends to tell them about it (they had also just started the game at that time and I was the only one to pick a Slytherin character) but they didn't seem to care as much as me.

Despite that, at first I was more interested in Sebastian, because I'm basic. Ominis cemented himself as my fav only when I got into fanfiction. Then I drew several pieces of him being a small child and being in distress and I'm proud to say that's still my calling card.

All the people I ship romantically with this character Sebastian. And that's it, to be honest. At this point I have extensive headcanons about their relationship dynamic and I just cannot see him with anyone else. I do like to think he at one point had a celebrity crush on Isaac Cooper because of that one NPC line, but I don't think Isaac was even remotely aware of it and it could never have gone anywhere anyway.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I need more stuff with platonic Anne/Ominis like I need air. I know we like to think of Anne, Ominis and Sebastian as a trio, a matched set, but I think the Anne/Ominis and Ominis/Sebastian friendship dynamics were quite different. I like to Imagine Anne as more emotionally intelligent of the Sallow siblings, a trusted confidant, someone Ominis could tell things he couldn't tell Sebastian. Not yet. They would share inside jokes and gossip Sebastian wasn't always *in* on, but that's mostly because he wasn't interested, so there wouldn't be any jealousy. My other OTPs for Ominis are contradictory. Ominis/every iota of happiness he could get and Ominis/pain and misery. I want to see him hurt, I want to see him cry, but at the same time I want him to know everything will be alright. Does that make sense?

My unpopular opinion about this character

Honestly, I think most of my opinions about him are fairly popular. I suppose except one where I'm not only convinced he won't be having any children of his own, for various reasons, but also that he will probably die young. Tragically. He has those vibes to him.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. I really wanted him to high five Sebastian in the face at the end of the game.

[ihvadk]

all my fav quotes from mcr songs

«The amount of pills I'm taking

Counteracts the booze I'm drinking»

«We'll shoot back holy water like cheap whiskey

They're always there»

«Someone get me to the doctor and someone call the nurse

And someone buy me roses and someone burned the church

«We'll laugh as we die

And we'll celebrate the end of things

With cheap champagne»

«Stand up fucking tall, don't let them see your back»

«But does anyone notice? But does anyone care?

And if I had the guts to put this to your head

But would anything matter if you're already dead?»

«I think I'd love to die alone»

when “i’m trying” from bullets turns to “i tried” in revenge

«But nobody cares if you're losing yourself

Am I losing myself?»

«Listen to me, because I'm telling you the truth!

I mean this, I'm okay! "Lie to me”»

«And for the last night I lie

Could I lie next to you?»

«I wouldn't front the scene if you paid me

I'm just the way that the doctor made me»

«From the razor to the rosary, we could lose ourselves

And paint these walls in pitchfork red»

«This hole you put me in wasn't deep enough

And I'm climbing out right now»

«So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying

If you want, I'll keep on crying

Did you get what you deserve?

Is this what you always want me for?»

«And never again and never again, they gave us two shots

To the back of the head and we're all dead now»

«And we'll love again, we'll laugh again

We'll cry again, and we'll dance again»

«If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see

You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me»

«If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?»

«Give me a shot to remember

And you can take all the pain away from me»

«A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams

Your misery and hate will kill us all»

«You play ring around the ambulance

Like you never gave a care»

«But there's shit that I've done with this fuck of a gun

You would cry out your eyes all along!»

«Don't you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy

Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did»

«A drink for the horror that I'm in, for the good guys

And the bad guys, for the monsters that I've been»

«You're just a sad song with nothing to say

About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay»

«So many

Bright lights, they cast a shadow

But can I speak?

Well is it hard understanding

I'm incomplete

A life that's so demanding

I get so weak

A love that's so demanding

I can't speak»

«I see you lying next to me

With words I thought I'd never speak

Awake and unafraid

Asleep or dead»

«Well, you can hide a lot about yourself

But honey, what're you gonna do?

And you can sleep in a coffin

But the past ain't through with you»

«And you're walking away and I will die in this place»

«And will you pray for me? Or make a saint of me?»

«Mom and Dad think you'll be saved

They never had the time

They're going to medicate your lives»

«It was a head shot, you know, you gave me the gun»

«Sometimes you do things you need to do to survive»

«'Cause all the angels say ooh... ooh

You are all to blame»

«I'd rather go to Hell

Than be in purgatory»

«Stop your preaching right there, 'cause I really don't care»

«There might be something outside your window

But you just never know»

«Who they want you to be, who they wanted to see

Kill the party with me and never go home»

«And though you can see me smile

I still think of the guns they sell»

«Leave a dream where the fallout lies

Watch it grow where the tear stain dries»

«You can run away with me anytime you want»

«That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break»

«If all my enemies threw a party, would you light the candles?»

«I buy my enemies rope to hang me, and the knives to gang me»

«If we crash this time

They got machines to keep us alive»

«You don't know a thing about this life, and we are up for

Everything it takes to prove we're not the same as them»

«For every failing sun, there's a morning after»

«Sometimes we must grow stronger

And you can't be stronger when I'm gone»

«Well, if you amputate the loneliness

Anesthesia dims the lights»

«Not ashamed of what I am

I took the pills for these empty nights

'Cause it makes me who I am»

«And did you come to stare or wash away the blood?»

«From the lights to the pavement

From the van to the floor

From backstage to the doctor

From the Earth to the morgue, morgue, morgue, morgue»

[miquella-everywhere]

I’m not thrilled with some elements of the DLC lore either (it shoulda been Godwyn!), but this blog reads like a cry for help, and I’m concerned. You may want to ask yourself if you want to continue tying your mental health and happiness to a fictional character. If engaging with a game or fandom brings you such intense, consistent misery, it may not be good for you to continue doing so. Ultimately, none of us can control the story’s writing or reception, and continuing to agonize over things that you can’t change is a road to madness.

Wishing for positive mental health outcomes for everyone affected by this DLC.

imo i view my blog and anti dlc rants as a sort of diary and me ranting is a way to get all these negative feelings and energy out, and i honestly think that this is way healthier than letting it stew and fester in my brain

i know how my dumb autistic brain works, and it sucks, but when i get really attached to something and then something bad/unexpected happens it like messes with me

like i understand where you're coming from completely, but my brain is wired in such a way that my rejection sensitivity/obsession extends to my goddamn anime favs 😭 and it sucks 😭

and ngl

my reactions to everything involving miq have actually been pretty goddamn tame compared to some of the other things my brain has gotten worked up over throughout my life lol

and i honestly think i have the blog and writing my thoughts and interacting with like-minded people to thank for that

(and for the most part i try to not tag my takes, tho sometimes i think i have good takes that should be shared, but most of the time i treat my takes as like journal entries)

so like i get what you're saying anon but at the same time, this is a part of my healing process

with the way my brain works i literally cannot drop ER and Míquella so easily/cold turkey. despite the bullshit i still love Míquella and thats what makes it so painful and an even harder time to move on from

but itll happen eventually, just takes time, and it helps to write down and process all the bad feelings akdhdh

Bottomline is that if youre following me then you know exactly what ur in for and likely feel the same basically lol

but thank you for your concern anon i promise you i will be fine <3

[cameronmitchelljohn]

tell me all your thoughts about rent

I TYPED OUT A MASSIVE THING IN RESPONSE TO THIS AND. I. ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT im actually raging now Okay. i now have to retype it all Ohhh lord oh good lord. anyways rent yap below the cut

im a massive fan of the cast of the 2019 production of rent but im really not a fan of how the charactwrs are actually portrayed, i think uts very important that the characters stand out and are eccentric and in the way of mark that tends to be him.being a weird nerd, and i think jordans portrayal of him takes that away. obviously that representation is nowhere near as important as the other representation in the show, but i think its still important to show mark as Different, and making him blend in with the norm kind of defeats that ?!?!? i do really like jordans tango maureen though ! on the topic of the 2019 cast, i love brennin hunt as roger and i think he shows the misery and pain of his life PERFECTLY and also his gentle side very well, but he doesnt play into the awkwardness very well. we know that rogers likely only had proper conversations with mark since aprils death (he doesnt even talk to his mother, just sends her postcards of the events in his life (WHICH ARE LACKLUSTRE ANYWAYS)) and clearly after 7 months hed be awkward and atleast not easily flirtatious, so it kind of annoys me how in light my candle, brennins roger is SO casual and flirtatious about the 'Ouhhh no. i mean..you DOOO have a nice I MEAN' line . it pisses me off tbh cos in my mind that lines meant to show his sort of like?? disconnection from.social norms and knowing whats wrong and right, cos of staying inside for 7 months .

hHOKY SHIT I JUST FOUND SOME RENT HEADCANONS . roger and mark would love karaoke nights and mark can sing amazingly but he often downplays it because he thinks roger is SO much better than him (well he is . but LMFAO) . im also very very strong on the diabetic mark headcanon but thats just cos im diabetic .. but i like the idea of rogers azt beeper lining up with marks injection times and it being a bit of a nudge for him to inject ..... i also like him being diabetic lining up with his money issues, we know direvtly from christmas bells that roger has food issues and food stuff is briefly mentioned all throughout rent, but i think the price of insulin would be a driving reason for mark to have issues with food

ALSOOOOOOO i wrote this down ages ago idk if it makes sense .. i like thinking abour the idea of new york representing fear and all the negative parts in everyones lives, this is obvious in santa fe (OBVIOUSLY LMFAO) but i think its also shown in other scenes but less obviously stated .. when roger runs away to santa fe and gets away from nyc, everything is good to him in a way, and when he comes back he has to cope with the reality of his and mimis likely deaths, angels death, and all the bad stuff in his life. i cluld say more abt this but itd make no sense HEEELPPP

i overanalyse ALOT of rent and it doesnt make much sense to anyone but me, but im really not fussinf over it HEELP I think on the spot i cant say much about rent but when im watxhinfit i pick up on all the little details ITS SO GOOD its like every line has a second mesning .... like i love talking about how rent is named that not only because of the literal rent they have to pay but also because of their lives being rent apart and rent in THAT sense .. i love this musical lots man

also my fav rent actor is matt caplan as mark goodNIGHT (theres a boot on youtube plspsllsssss someonr ask me about it i love it alot)

[mafuyuakgae]

thoughts on the new mafuyu card?

first impression to me was that it feels like a combo of the bug reversal of mizuki's secret distance event cards TTTT it's just the ribbon / thread motifs i think particularly next to these cards..the way the framing and composition ..love a good card of mfy being sad surrounded by various items LOL

i saw someone say that the trained version of mfy's card looked like it was fanart drawn by someone really mentally ill about niigo and i agree fully with that :') i'm such a fan of this concept.

i've been playing various rhythm games w gacha components over the past 10 years but prsk cards consistently amaze me with the level of detail in the cards + how they're not afraid to stray from the typical aesthetics and art styles defined ingame (ena's through pain and misery card, toya's unchanging warmth are some of my favs where they kinda stray from the typical rendering style + the new yr 2024 cards) T_T<3

[sir-pippy]

intro (sorry it's late i wasnt really in the cultre before)

call me pippio or P1P (no real name it's unique and i dont wanna get doxxed)

riot goth/sista grrrl (i really admire other subcultres but im a black women and they tend to be inhospitable for us)

SHOWS: im a HUGE FMA fan i prefer the 03 ver idc that its innacurate i ove how it portrays emotion and human connections CLONE HIGH fan not a new ver hater but im mad that they did away with Ghandi he's my fav HOUSE MD fan i havent finnished it yet and yes i still think the more mouse bites thing is funny, if it wasn't obvious already im a huge ruby gloom lover and misery is my fav malady is a close second i love her relatives poe is funny too, i love gothic kid shows, soul eater fan

MUSIC: number one jack off jill fan, i love nu metal, gothic rock, riot grrrl, and visal kei(not so much anymore but i love the bandmen), TOP BANDS: Jack off Jill, Type O Negative, Bikini Kill, My Ruin, Human Waste Project, Hole, Babes in Toyland, X-ray Spex, Murderdolls, The Cure, Lunachicks, Scarling, Korn, Menopause, Kittie, Descendants, Killgurls, Genitorturers, Amyl and the sniffers, malice mizer (yes i call it my-zer idc) chances are if it has fem vocals i either know it or im interested

RANDOM ABOUT ME: Chronic Pain warrior im actually sitting here right now writing this cuz my joints hurt so bad i cant stand and i have nothing better to do p the pain makes me irritable so i post rants about it sometimes

Jamaican and Guyanese(its in south america and no that does not make me hispanic guyanese people are black)

i crochet, knit, garden, sew, play guitar, violin, and cello but i suck at guitar, i started writing music, im becoming a pretentious loser so i also review films now (letterboxd P1PT1ME) i love lizards and have a pet leopard gecko (Atticus) the thrift store is my second home, unfortnatly i read yuri and a lil yaoi

CELEBS: Jessicka Addams, Kathleen Hanna, Fallon Bowman, Aimee Echo, Tairrie B, Poly Styrene, Kat Bjelland, Lyn-Z(i hate msi), Courtney Love(i still hold a lil hate but i love to see posts about her), Peter Steele(not a huge fan of edgelords but he's pretty), Mana Sama, Astushi Sakura, RuPaul, Trixxie Mattel, Katya, KIM-CHI

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

somehow missed your Thursday prompt this morning but I saw some of the new fic WIPs and I’m so excited!!!! I’m also gonna borrow the idea from other some other asks where they put comments next to their prompts because I love it.

🦮 🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮(cranberry my new beloved. Also is this a multi-chapter fic or one -long[ish] shot? Just curious…sorry if you have said it before.)

⚡⚡️⚡️⚡️(It may be long but I love it so far.)

🚨🚨🚨🚨(glitter in his Eddie will always be famous to me…I hope I’m remembering the right fic.)

🔮 🔮 🔮 🔮 (I love your universe interferes au and this is no exception.)

🌠 🌠 🌠 🌠(Nico and grandpa! Bobby my other beloveds.)

👑 👑 👑 👑(yes for Madney!!! I’m really excited for this one. Especially will be a princess Maddie.)

HEY! And awesome I LOVE the comments.

Thank you!!!!

Here's 24 for 🦮 (it's a very long one-shot, but I may make it a series of one shots:

---

“Wh-what’s she doing?” Eddie demands, scooching away from Cranberry. 

“Shoot, Eddie, I-I’m sorry,” Buck stammers. “That’s, uh, that’s her panic response.”

She’s not really supposed to do it for anyone else. Sam explained that. Her job is to focus on him, not worry about everyone around him. But he and Eddie have been spending a lot of time together lately. Cranberry adores him. Once he even swung by Buck’s place to take her on a hike on one of his days off when Buck was having a bad pain day, to make sure she got enough exercise. They did a few miles together, just them. Of course she’s paying attention to him. 

“I don’t panic,” Eddie replies. Very unconvincingly. 

“Eddie…” Buck says weakly. “You are panicking.”

Buck watches resignation wash over Eddie’s face, hand-in-hand with a sort of misery. 

“Wh-what do I do?” Eddie asks. 

“Flatten your legs,” Buck instructs. 

Eddie does. Cranberry crawls onto his lap and lays as flat as she can. She puts her full weight on him. 

---

12 for ⚡ (THANK YOU!)

---

“I have been thinking about asking Buck to marry me,” Eddie says. 

Adriana grins. “Yes! Eddie, that is amazing!”

“Yeah?” He asks, a little shaky. “You think so?”

“Duh,” Adriana rolls her eyes. “Eddie, you have been stupid in love with him forever. This is the dream, right?”

“I mean, mine anyway,” he nods. “Not that, uh, marriage is for everyone, but… I… Yeah, I want to marry Buck.”

---

12 for 🚨 (I am not sure what you are saying here but tysm!)

---

Eddie can’t tell if Chris is becoming more like Buck via proximity or vice versa. 

“They only pee once a week!” Christopher announces giddily. 

“What?” Buck gasps, with put on bewilderment. “Don’t their bladders explode?”

“No! They only need to go once a week!” Chris repeats. 

“Maybe to save on the water bill we start only going once a week, too?” Buck suggests. “What do you say?”

---

12 for 🔮 (THANK YOU! It's my fav trope):

---

“Is that really all you have to say?” Buck demands. 

A pang of discomfort lances through Bobby. That’s all? You really don’t have anything to say? 

“Don’t you care?” He presses. 

“Evan, you have no right to speak to us in this tone,” Margaret snaps. “It’s been a hard day for everyone. Why don’t you go to your room and calm down? We’ll call you when it’s time for supper.”

Buck lets out a breathy, exasperated huff, turns around, and storms off in the opposite direction.

---

12 for 🌠 (A LOT going on for Nico rn):

---

Chris is not a parent. He’s not sure he ever wants to be a parent. He’s twenty-nine and never felt a strong desire for it. However, he now feels a certain responsibility to act as a pseudo parental figure to his younger brother. It’s not like anyone else is available at the moment. Unless Chris were to unload him on Bobby or Maddie. That is an option. He won’t count it out entirely.

“Do you have any idea how much you scared everyone?” Chris asks. “Did that even cross your mind?”

Nico shifts uncomfortably in the passenger seat.

---

12 for 👑 (THANK YOU! ANd MAddie may not be the Cinderellla...)

---

“Who do you think she is?” Chim asks later, driving back to the station from the hospital.

‘Who? The trauma surgeon?” Hen asks. “I think that was Dr. Wen.”

“No,” Chim shakes his head. “The woman at the call. The one who helped.”

Hen snorts. “I think she is exactly what she said. A former nurse who stepped in to help."

[abalidoth]

whats your fav album/albums??

Like anyone else who was sentient and within earshot of a radio in 2012, I was aware of Call Me Maybe. It was inescapable, virulently catchy, an icepick of bubblegum straight to the tympaneum. As mocked as it was beloved, as society is unable to tolerate anything feminine.

I don't strongly remember my feelings about it at the time. I was probably self-aware enough at that point to not explicitly shit on it -- that was right around when I was making my first tentative steps towards not identifying as a guy. But my musical taste at the time skewed more towards They Might Be Giants and Imogen Heap so it wouldn't have been anything I sought out.

Flash forward to the summer of 2015. I'm in a bar in Ames, Iowa with a bunch of other mathematicians, there for the Graduate Research Workshop in Combinatorics. After a hard day of bootstrap percolation and RNA folding and graph discharging, we descended on this little college bar's trivia night like a swarm of LaTeX-using locusts. Combinatorists tend to be eclectic sorts, so trivia comes naturally to us, and I'm no exception; our four mathematician teams took the top four spots that night, and my team was first among those. There are a few other stories that came out of that night, but the relevant one is that I heard a little song over the speakers called I Really Like You.

Like Call Me Maybe, IRLY was uncompromisingly girly. But I was at a stage in my life where that was a balm to my aching soul. I had been slowly growing in my femininity month by agonizing month, living in the freezing wastes of Laramie, Wyoming. I wore skirts around the house, went by ze/hir pronouns online, but nobody in person knew. Every Friday afternoon my wife would paint my nails, and every Sunday evening I'd scrub the authenticity out of myself with acetone and a cotton ball. So the femininity of the song was appealing to me.

So, too, was the lyrical content. It was self-awarely about a liminal state in relationships, that hazy limerence where actual commitment isn't in the cards, but the feelings are strong, so why don't we ride them while we can? It's not that it hasn't been done before, but Carly Rae did it well. I added the song to the mp3 app on my phone and didn't think much more of it.

Cut to the summer of 2016. Brexit had just happened, I had just found out my dad was planning to vote for Trump. The sun over the Rockies was bright, but the world was feeling small and hostile. We were spending the week with my parents and some family in a mountain town in Colorado. Emma and I aren't the hiking sort, so when the rest of the folks went out in the wilderness, we decided to explore some of the little towns in the area. In one of those towns was a record store, and in that record store was a CD copy of E-MO-TION.

I recognized it as the album that had that song I liked from last summer. We listened to it in the car on the way back up to Laramie, and I liked it a lot. Now, we usually listened to music on the old iPod that was connected to our aux cable, rather than the CD drive. So that CD just kinda stayed there in the car.

November rolled around. Trump won the election. My dysphoria and my fear and my seasonal depression blended into a eutectic misery, greater than the sum of its parts, a suffocating miasma of soul-deep pain, that I had to keep off my face for the sake of my students.

I started listening to that CD in the car more and more. I memorized the track numbers, I knew exactly what stretches of songs were best for which emotions. That album became a lifeline for me. When I was driving an icy road in the dark on three hours of sleep, stressing about my lack of progress on my dissertation, and the intrusive thoughts came in that maybe, it wouldn't be so bad if the car spun out on the black ice?

I'd put on Making the Most of the Night. Carly Rae knew I was having a rough time, and here she was to hijack me, hijack me.