#first time writing fo p1h sdkjnsajanskd

[yyawnjun]

KISS IT OFF ME

choitaeyang x reader; summary: two best friends in a room, they might kiss? ; warnings: mention of alcohol and cheating (yn gets cheated on) (not theo !!); best friends to lovers ; the urge to write theo's pov is real now; 2.7k wc ; @kflixnet; biggest shot out to my fav girl, supporter and proofreader lia ( @sobun1est !! ) ; her comments and energy gave me the will to post this, the biggest thanks to her <3

Endless tears poured down your cheeks as the hiccups, a sign of your near panic attack, took hold. You tried to rationalize what you saw while attempting to figure out where you could go now, with the bowl of ice cream, tears in your eyes, and a broken heart.  

On that summer evening, you ran away from your boyfriend's (now ex-boyfriend's) home. That evening, you had confirmation of one of your worst worries and doubts that you had been attempting to ignore for far too long. 

You had been suspicious of his behavior for a time, but you had always tried to ignore your suspicions and trust him. But your trust was brutally shattered when you witnessed him carry a girl out of his car and kiss her.

Your heart had jumped, your hands trembled along with your entire body, and ultimately, your head had almost unconsciously directed your legs to move as far away from the place as possible (not before dumping your water bottle into that boy). You then turned to go.

At that exact moment, you let the tears flow and turned towards your place, where you feel most comfortable of all: your best friend's house, from your closest friend Choi Taeyang. 

During the walk, no music could distract you from the overwhelming sense of betrayal you felt. You promised yourself that you would bear this exhausting pain. But in the end, in that moment of misery, what happened to those empty promises?

You repeated it to yourself as if it were a mantra, persuading yourself that it wasn't that bad. You intermingled insults and sobs, but you attempted to remain calm as you walked with your head held high and your cheeks as crimson as your eyes. You arrived like this after walking for almost an hour in front of Taeyang's door. At that point, the shame became obvious. Your conditions were awful, the ice cream had melted, and it was 11 pm. Maybe he wasn't even home? Maybe he went out with friends, or maybe he was still at the gym?

While these thoughts tormented you, your hand was moved by an unknown force and rang the bell. "who's this?" His voice was enough to make you gradually collapse. 

You just started crying while trying to say your name. You were tempted to hold back your feelings because you felt pathetic. However, it was too late to back out. You were slowly sitting on the floor, hoping Theo hadn't heard you so you could think straight about what to do. But before you could touch the ground, you listened to the door open and saw his figure approaching you.

"yn? are you ok?" He questioned you in a worried tone after approaching closer as soon as he could. You looked up, and as soon as your eyes linked, he spotted the blush on your face. He didn't notice your runny makeup or messy hair. He realized that there was something deeper behind the tears, some pain that was less obvious than what you wanted to show. "Let's go inside," he said without giving you a chance to reply. You stood up, gathered your belongings, and followed him into the home, your gaze lowering. Only then did you notice that he was wearing short black pajama trousers and a huge white shirt, and his hair was soaked. 

Could he have just gotten out of the shower? You confirmed your theory as soon as you entered the flat, where the lights were brighter and you could see his shirt clinging to his chest. It was almost transparent because of all the water that it absorbed... allowing you to see his rangy figure and his well-defined muscles... You instantly shifted your sight to his face for fear of being caught staring at him too long.

However, you also lost yourself while looking at his face. He was busy putting his wet hair into a rash ponytail while he wondered about what would have been the best thing to say. You were sitting in your normal seats, facing each other at his small kitchen table. He had silently given you some tissues and a glass of water. He had noted that your breathing had returned to normal and that your lost look was now more apathetic than the anger and despair that he had seen previously.

Minutes had passed, and none of the you two spoke. It was a strange silence in which you had a chance to not think about your pain and leave yourself vulnerable in front of him. "Do you want some cereals?" he asked. "Cereals?" you ask confused. "Yeah, I bought your favorites as well," he replied. You remember the ice cream that you still hold in your hands, and you gave it to him. "Ice cream soup, yummy," he said, mocking you. You smiled as you looked at him placing the ice cream in the freezer.

"You want to talk?" he inquired as he arranged your bowl of milk and cereal. "Milk first and then cereal," you said, pointing out that he was doing the opposite. "Come on, let's discuss seriously. It's cereal and then milk," he said, raising his brow and shaking his head. "We'll never agree on this huh," you stated swiftly before launching into another fight over that existential topic. So you sat down to eat some cereal at 11:30 p.m. during that summer Wednesday.

"Sorry I know it's late," you said at one point, coming from your thoughts. "Don't be sorry yn..wanna talk about what happened?" He responded to you with sincerity and empathy. "You were right; I left him. He cheated on me You told him with a faint smile.  

"That bastard," he murmured impulsively, nearly spitting out the food in his mouth. "You warned me, and I didn't listen to you."

"Not your fault, yn." he told you. He felt the anger mounting, but he didn't want you to notice: it was his turn to be strong for you. "Do you want to stay for this night?"

"Mh, are you sure?" 

"Of course! Stop feeling embarrassed yn. we're best friends right?" As a result, you nodded, removing the remaining doubt. "Yeah, you're right," you continued. Perhaps you were in a state of weakness because of what happened, but you still felt an unusual sensation in your stomach, you smiled and returned your gaze to your best friend. Many bright stars glowed in his eyes, and no words could express the feeling of peace that he was able to give you with just that glance.

The evening ended with a great video game in which your competitiveness kept you awake until 2 a.m. When you both agreed to declare a draw and fell asleep on the sofa. The last thing you recalled was him gently stroking your hair as you fell asleep.

And by that evening, you had proof that a day can be significantly improved in just a of hours thanks to the right person. What a sweet and comforting thought, mhm? 

It is, till you find yourself on that specific night dreaming about that starry-eyed boy who confesses to you with a kiss...

The dream was vivid, and you clearly remembered Theo blushing and handing you a bouquet. Confused words filled the air, and the next thing you knew, the two of you were caught in a passionate kiss that you both craved.  

And so you chose to die - leave a part of yourself - and then be reborn in his arms.

You woke up astonished in the middle of the night, opened your eyes, and looked around. The room was dark, and you could only barely see Theo's face, which was dangerously close to yours. You were lying on the couch near to each other, and you both fell into a deep sleep. You were still confused by your dream, but too many emotions had worn you down. So you opted to go back to sleep. You bent your head towards him and laid it under his chin, close to his chest, gripping you as tightly as possible to make him feel at ease. You unconsciously started counting the boy's breathing, like children do with sheep when they have to fall asleep.

"Do you have a dream about someone and then fall in love? or does the appearance of someone in your dream imply that you are already in love with them?" You asked Theo quietly. 

Two weeks passed since that day when: you saw your ex cheat on you, when you were in tears with your best friend(so as not to forget the dream of his confession...) 

"I would say first you fall in love, and then you dream of them"

"Ohh," you muttered, blushing slightly and looking away. "Maybe I'm not drunk enough for this conversation. Do you want anything? It's on me," Taeyang said as he stood up to head to the counter to buy some drinks. 

"The usual, thanks."

"Okay, pretty," he replied casually as he walked away.

You gulped loudly at his statement. Since when have nicknames become so serious in your friendship? When did insults and jokes stop being acceptable? But who knows? Maybe you misheard due to the loud music.

What you did not hear incorrectly was his first response... first you fall in love, and then you dream about someone, which is especially true if the dream includes a romantic aspect. What the hell does this mean? Now will you ever be able to naturally tell him your dream, or would your flushed face continue to betray you?

While you were thinking about this, you realized you were looking for him in the crowd, and that the space was becoming increasingly busy, and you no longer felt comfortable sitting at the table alone. So you got up and walked through the people to the counter to find Theo. Shortly after you recognized him, he was about to take the drinks. At that specific moment, you observed how captivating he looked.

He had the wallet in his mouth, and the drinks in one hand, while helping the bartender to clean up the liquid that had accidentally spilled on the counter. He had his hair partially over his eyes and was frowning as he grabbed the napkins to clean up. Soon after he finished, he turned and your gaze met. He grinned at you and moved to approach you. 

You spotted the stars in his eyes again, and a feeling of spinning pain filled your stomach. What was that?

"the air was getting oppressive, do you want to go out for a bit?" you asked him. "Sure, I am going to tell it to Keeho and the others, and then I will meet you outside," he said, offering you the drink and smiling kindly at you. 

As you approached the exit, you thought about how lucky his future girlfriend would be. You reminisced how he had stayed close to you for such a long time without ever being pushy or complaining, instead listening to your words through your emotions and thoughts.

You were sitting in the garden hammock, focusing on the sensations you felt and what was going on with you. Soon after, he came from the house and sat next to you.  

You two continued the conversation about the meaning of dreams, and he seemed confused as to why he had asked that sudden and random question. But you lied, telling him that you had dreamed of your favorite singer. He appeared disappointed; why did he expect it to be someone else? maybe him? or you were already too drunk to think straight?

Your conversation quickly turned to the general topic of dreams, and you started to feel the consequences of the alcohol. Tiredness came in, and you collapsed on the boy's shoulder while you were psychoanalyzing his dream, in which he confessed to a female whose identity "wasn't that relevant".

Once again, the last thing you remember before falling asleep was him lifting you on his shoulders and carrying you to the taxi while giggling about how happy he was in that moment.  

The third time you noticed the sparking stars in his eyes was on the last summer night before starting college. Months had passed since you first felt your heart flutter for him. 

Yes, it took you two months to realize that you were in love with your best friend. And you weren't stupid; you knew the feeling was mutual. All the tiny things he started doing for you, all the little gifts, all the sweet words, nicknames, all the times he told you he was thinking of you or that something reminded him of you (also thanks to Keeho, who openly told to you that Theo had a crush on you for at least a year and that he was head over heels for you).  

You were fastly moving to reach the boy's flat. You were supposed to be there already, but you were late because that day you chose to spend a little more time getting ready. It was supposed to be an easy outing with friends. But you were determined that it would be something more, which is why you meticulously planned every detail of your outfits.  

While you were imagining how the evening might turn out, your legs had led you to the boy's home. When you rang the bell, he answered the door and urged you to come up because he was a bit late too. You entered without asking any questions and made it to his front door. A few seconds later, you found the boy in front of you. He was wearing a white shirt, baggy brown pants, silver necklaces and bracelets, and a black pencil tip under his eyes.  

He had used a brown pencil and an eyeshadow of the same color for his eye makeup, as well as a brownish lip balm that made his lips shine.  This makeup suits him so well, you thought while looking at him with a lost gaze.  

To say you'd been watching him all evening is an underestimate. That simple image of him was enough to warm your heart and brighten your evening. "Who are you making yourself so beautiful for this evening?" he said after countless seconds of staring at each other. "Look who's talking, huh?" you replied, glancing him up and down for an excuse to admire the beautiful boy in front of you once more. He chuckled and allowed you in. You sat at the kitchen table while he was finishing getting ready.

You sat down and ended up thinking about all the possible scenarios; what would your confession be like? Would you have had the courage? How would he react?

"Yn...," you heard. You quickly turned towards that voice, which was both familiar and soothing. As soon as you turned, you observed him standing, holding a tiny bouquet and keeping his attention on you. "Did it happen like this in your dream?" he said as he handed you the most fragrant and magnificent arrangement of flowers you'd ever seen. "How do you know it was you?"

"Oh, you told me that while you were drunk," he said nonchalantly.  

"So you knew I liked you!" you replied. 

"Do you like me?" he immediately asked. 

Silence fell, your eyes widened, and your hand moved to cover your mouth. to discover her immediately afterward, when you once again recognized in her eyes the most beautiful starry sky you had ever seen. “Well, I had not expected my confession to be like this," you said, giggling and walking closer to him.

Only to move it right away, when you saw again the most gorgeous starry sky you'd ever seen in his eyes.   

You both broke your closeness, and a sweet kiss changed the mood. "if you gonna break my heart, this is a good start you know Theo…" You muttered to him between breathless lips. That boy had witnessed your whole trust, vulnerability, and entire existence. You had allowed him to see and experience that aspect of you, but you knew you'd never regret it. "I saw you, I knew you, and I loved you yn. Allow me to do it, and trust in my endless feelings for you. The beginning of us will never finish."

And so you chose to die - leave a part of yourself - and then be reborn in his arms.