#miserable game i beat it 5 times

[okesska]

spotted diogenes today

[gigisdoll]

CW: nonconᯓ★dubcon, bullying, g!p, degradation,dacryphillia, manipulation, pretty unhealthy relationships... , barely any dayeon </3, somnophillia, fingering.

PAIRINGS: harin x reader, dayeon x reader

WC: 2743

NOTES; wsg gang!! lil drabble for that anon!!

During the whole time you've been in class 5, you never went above grade D. Resulting in you getting, well, bullied. Grade F's are ridiculed, and you and Jaeun just so happen to be in grade F. You tried protecting Jaeun, begging all Dayeon, Wooyi, Harin and etcetera to leave her alone and deal all the punches towards you. But of course most wouldn't listen, you'd find yourself often tending to the bruises or mental marks Dayeon or Harin would leave on poor ole' Jaeun. You go along with Jaeun in not participating in the pyramid game, you deleted the app long ago so you wouldn't even have access to the voting system.

you were Dayeon's main target to bully, you were much less cooperative than Jaeun, making the 'chase' fun. she doesn't like when Seol ah is there to kick your ass as well, she thinks you and her have much better 'chemistry' than you and seol ah. And that whenever Dayeon and you were alone was much more special than when Wooyi is annoyingly laugh at your miserable state, or Seol ah continuously beat you down. Dayeon's whistle rang through your ear behind you "Y/n-ah, don't you think you've been abit neglectful? " Dayeon pouted after kicking the back of your legs causing you to fall hard to the ground "Hope that didn't bruise... " Dayeon smiled once again, you've been ignoring her tries to either annoy or bully you for days now. Her anger building up for days now, you were unable to ignore this. You hissed as the pain finally settled in, bringing your knees up to sooth the pain inflicted towards them. "Aww, did i hurt you? " Dayeon said sarcastically, rubbing the back of your knee, and suddenly gripping your thigh causing you to whimper and your eyes to blur with small tears, that started to drip down on ur cheeks, ur cheeks flushing as well, making them slightly red "Y/n-ah, you look so cute like this you know? "

Dayeon's hands are slipping up ur skirt and inching towards ur cunt " I missed this so much, i bet you missed this more than me" she smirked as her index and middle finger slid up and down "I bet you're wet, fucking painslut." her finger hooked the top of your panties, taking them off swiftly making you squeal. 'Course you wanted her to stop, it was barely 15 minutes before the bell rang, but you can't stop a grade A, you're a mere grade F. If you did stop her, worse would happen, so you allow her fingers in, you allow her inside of your cunt. "Fuck you're always so tight, you're loving this aren't you?" your slick covered her tip, allowing it to squeeze in easily along with the rest of her length. She laid you on the ground of the locked classroom, thrusting all of herself inside of you, resulting in you gasping in both pain and pleasure; more on pain. Nonetheless you tightened around her cock, causing her to moan as she pounded inside of you "Gosh- y/n-ah, how....are you always so-so tight? " you felt lightheaded, your mind was fuzzy, and your vision was clouded. All you could kind of coherently feel or hear was Dayeon's cock, and words, her words encouraging your tears as her cock slammed in and out of you. "Cant you speak? fucking whore. Too fucked out now aren't you? " all you could do was nod, the only words coming out of your mouth were small thank you's and cries for more "You wan' more? huh? beg harder and maybe i will" she smirked once more as her cock throbbed and throbbed inside of you as your cunt tightened again. "Please- please! i wan- i want more! dayeon please.. " you whined loudly as she started pounding faster and harder.

Her desperate thrusting was met with your hips which at this point had a mind of its own, as they tried to meet her thrusts. Her groans and gasps increased as her speed quickened as well. Your hands grasped Dayeon's hands, as her hips stopped and dug her cock deeper inside of you as her cum spurted out inside of You. You were left breathless and overstimulated as Dayeon cleaned herself up and left the locked classroom. You sat yourself up and put ur panties back on shamefully, grabbing your backpack and walking out in a disheveled state. You walked straight to the bathroom, hoping it wouldn't be hard to make your hair look decent enough to not look funky. After fixing yourself up, you walked out of the bathroom and went to your classroom, putting faith in the fact that the bell didn't ring during... Your uhm 'talk' with Dayeon.

"Y/n! " Jaehyung said, walking up to you "You look... worse than usual... not saying you look bad normally at all! It's just you look a bit unkempt... was it Dayeon? " you nod, not wanting her to ask why. She just nodded and gave a thumbs up before grabbing you and pulling you to the rest of the friend group. "Let's go to the convenience store after school, i need to discuss some things with you guys, okay? " Suji told the 3 of you, texting Yelim the information. Your homeroom teacher came in as the chatter and laughter of the students quiet down "Students, please sit and settle down there is some news to share" he waited for all of you to go sit on your respective chairs, and hush down " Thank you, I will inform all of you again that there will be a class field trip tomorrow, please if you haven't already ask your parents for consent. " the class erupted in gasps, and conversations. "Again please settle down since your first class will start shortly, oh and also y/n? you're being called to the principal's office... please be there" he left after saying that as your classmates start gossiping about why you were called.

you walked to the office steadily, but anxiously as well. what reason does the principal need you for? you fidget with your fingers, hoping it wasn't anything about your scholarship. "y/n! " harin smiled, but there was something wrong, something underneath that smile that'll tear you up to bits "harin... where's the principal? " harin slightly widened her smile "i called you silly! what? did you think it was something about your scholarship? " she slowly walked towards you menacingly, her finger lifting slowly "why do you think i called you here? " "if-if this is something about jaeun i wont answer. " "it's nothing about jaeun, it's about you y/n-ah" she looked psychotic, her eyes looking into yours "y/n-ah, have you... been messing with kim dayeon? " your eyes widened, how did she find out? why would... she want to? "look y/n. don't lie to me, dayeon brags about you, all, the fucking time. that you feel so tight. or that you never, say no. " harin grips your hand harshly causing you to hiss and try to pull it back.

"don't you dare try to escape this y/n, don't you think i deserve to try you a little? out of all people? " she tilted her head slightly. your eyes glisten hoping you won't need to do this again " y/n, do you want me to tell the chairwoman you got fucked by dayeon on school premises... with no shame? " "no! no! harin please! i promise i'll do anything! just.. don't do that! " you couldn't afford to lose this scholarship. harin knew that, and she loved the superiority she felt blackmailing you. "don't you want me to be happy? or do you want me to suffer? " your heart breaks when even thinking about harin being sad, because of you nonetheless. "no! i don't, i didn't mean it harin! whatever you want to make you happy... even if it's, this... " harin smirked at your submission, your weakness was always one she used. your caring nature backfires severely when it comes to harin "i knew you wanted this. " smiling, her hands dropped down to your skirt, "i've been... waiting for so long y/n-ah, you care for me so much, your willing to give up your dignity just so i'm happy? " her smile this time was genuine, the way you submitted so easily into her turned her on. the fact you'd give up your integrity showed you definitely wanted this.

"y/n-ah... suck my cock, will you? " the request shocked you, her hands pushing you down onto the floor as she looked at you with a playful smile, as if she was just gonna play with you... well she was, just in a different way! "didn't you hear me? suck my dick y/n. dont make me fucking wait. " she said, authority lacing her already harsh tone. she lifted her skirt, her cock protruding through her panties "go on. don't be shy, i know you've done this before" her degrading words making you blush as you took off her panties, her cock slapping your face with pre-cum. she shoved her cock down your throat when u opened your mouth to gasp about the length. her hands were around your head, and her teeth bit her bottom lip as your head was forcefully bobbed up and down. her stomach twitched up and down as her head leaned back up, her mouth slowly opening. "fuck- y/n- did dayeon teach you well? huh? " her stomach flexed as her dick throbbed in your mouth "hah- fuck" a slew of her cum came straight down your throat, your eyes watered as you tried gasping for air. "swallow all i give you y/n." she said sternly, making sure not even a drop comes out of your mouth. "get up, lay down on the couch. "you looked almost dumbfounded, she wasn't done with you? " did you think i'm done with you? i'm not like dayeon, i don't last just a round y/n."

your panties were wet and slick, harin smirked "did sucking my cock make you wet? fucking cockwhore. " your panties were ripped away from you. harin's cock head met your entrance, bullying its way through your tight walls "fuck- dayeon wasn't lying when she said- fuck... you were tight" you start crying, the pain from the stretch of her girth was immensely painful but it felt good, you felt woozy when her cock started thrusting, "so pretty when u cry, y/n-ah. i love making u cry, so- so pretty for me" you try grabbing her shoulder, trying to ground yourself as the pleasure truly takes over your mind. "can't you answer me? did u turn dumb on my cock? huh? " you couldn't say coherent words in sequence, all the words you could say were slurred and incoherent. harin felt superior, you going silly on her cock was such an ego boost. the tip of her cock slammed hit spots u didn't even know existed. "am i bigger than dayeon? " she was, but were you gonna tell her that? no. "answer me, or u just can't talk? can dayeon fuck you this good? huh?" she took both your hands on her own, restricting your movement even more. pushing your legs up on her shoulders, her head tilting forward on your neck. her groans in your ear were inconsistent and loud, your back arched as your eyes rolled back from the pounding harin was giving you, your cunt squeezed around her cock tightly.

her stomach tensed as the knot snapped inside of you, a heap of her cum spurted out inside of you. her hips plowed themselves deeper inside of you, and you felt so warm and full, you almost cried from the pleasure of the overstimulation. "shit- fuck... don't tell anyone about this... see you on the field trip y/n..." she said as she pulled out her flaccid cock out of you

it's the day of the field trip, you were really hoping you wouldn't be chosen to be in harin's group but rather in suji's but considering both dayeon and harin were in the same group you were sure it'd be almost impossible you wouldn't be in their group. "y/n! let's go now! wouldn't wanna be left right? " jaehyung said, grabbing your arm and leading you to the bus "sit next to me! " you both ran up the stairs of the bus and sat straight at the back, while waiting for the others you decided to take a nap on jaehyung's shoulder to pass the time until you were at your destination. "jaehyung! hey can i sit next to y/n instead? " "oh... harin? uhm sure... " jaehyung was hesitant to let her sit next to you, she knows your history with her. "thank you jaehyun, now please, move. " jaehyung got up, but not before she woke you up to warn the person switch. "hi harin... " you were scared, you didn't really like sitting next to harin, it would almost be impossible for you not to be. harin wasn't a person to be vulnerable with, you especially shouldn't. "hi y/n..., you should sleep in my room, yeah? " you wanted to say no, but you couldn't, it'll be a death sentence to say no. "yes, i will.. "

you leaned on the window instead, the bus giving you almost no comfort, but you'd rather not sleep on the hard rocky floor than on harin. the road was bumpy and rough, resulting in you not being able to even take a nap. you had nothing to do, you had no data, signal or wifi! gosh... what could you do?

harin eyed you with the same emotionless eyes she gave everyone. she observed your restlessness, the way you kept trying to sleep, the way your head was almost falling from your sleepiness. "y/n...you know, you can also sleep on my shoulder... right? " you would prefer if you didn't, but the drowsiness you felt was overpowering your logical senses and a stable place to lie your head looked like heaven. you could only obediently nod and recline on her shoulder. your eyes almost immediately shut as the sleepiness took over your body leaving you vulnerable.

vulnerable was one of the only states of being harin actually liked you being in. where you wouldn't feel a hand slipping into your panties, where you wouldn't feel a finger or two sliding up and then down on your folds, collecting your slick, where you would barely feel the tip of harin's finger, where harin wouldn't care if you woke up after she plunged two fingers inside of your wet cunt. you gasp awake, you felt full as you felt two slender fingers slither into you. "ha-harin... " "dont say a word or else the chairwoman will know how much of a fucking slut you are." you clung to harin's arm tightly, your velvety walls squeezed around her fingers as you tried to hold in all of your whines. your forehead dripped in sweat as the anxiety of getting caught settled in, your mouth gaped open while her digits worked on your sweet wet cunt. "you feel so warm y/n...don't you wish it was my cock instead of my fingers? " all you could mutter out were small whimpers "answer me." harin said, curling her fingers up so it reaches even deeper than before "y-yes...harin... i- i wish it was your cock instead... " you said breathlessly, you clasped harin's arm just as the pleasure took over, dumbing you down. "i love making you a brainless slut infront of me, fucking you mindless infront of all of our classmates and they don't even know, whore" all of harin's mean words encouraged your orgasm. her fingers hit your g-spot a multitude of times, your eyes blur cause they were on the verge of tears from both the pleasure and pain of harin's fingers.

harin felt your orgasm long before you did, the tightening of your gummy walls indicated your climax "cum, in front of all your friends y/n...do it" you bit your lip hard hoping it deafens your long and drawn out moan. you came on harin's fingers, the white hot pleasure went straight to your brain, you felt overstimulated from all of the pleasure you felt. you black out from all of it, your mouth was open, drool came down from your mouth "i'll use that gaping mouth when you wake up from your little nap, night y/n..."

[cottonlemonade]

Hi! May I have a Medium Cherry Lemonade with extra ice for Oikawa!

She/her pronouns pretty please.

Protecting A Rival

word count: 1074 || avg. reading time: 5 mins.

pairing: rival!Oikawa x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff with a dash of angst

warnings: mentions of bullying

request: fluffy, protecting you, rival Oikawa

“Oh this is perfect.“

“How did you even get her schedule?“

“It was just there on her desk. Not my fault she doesn‘t look after her stuff.“

The girls broke into hag-like cackling.

“This will be so much fun! Y/n won‘t know what hit her.“

Oikawa usually tried to ignore the buzzing chatter of students walking to the school but your name got his attention. He knew those girls. They, unfortunately, were an (overly) active part of his fan club. This morning, however, their focus was somewhere else and he was glad that they hadn‘t noticed him walking behind them. Nasty creatures, he thought.

In all fairness, you weren‘t his friend or even anything close to it. At best you were his rival since you’d usually fight for the top scores of the class - but he admired that about you. You chose academics instead of fawning all over him (although that was kind of infuriating because why didn‘t you??) He knew that those banshees had a reputation for making people‘s lives miserable and he really didn‘t appreciate that they set their gawky eyes on you.

He should give you a head‘s up. Fair was fair. The only way he would feel satisfied when beating you in Friday‘s quiz was when you were on top of your game.

“Y/n-chan!“, he called, his voice unusually serious. You met his eyes with suspicion. He never talked to you outside of class debates.

“What do you want?“, you asked, coldly.

Okay, rude. But he pressed on, “Can I talk to you for a moment?“

“Is this about homework or the test?“

“Neither.“

“Then I don‘t wanna hear it.“ And with that you took your seat in the first row.

Oikawa pursed his lips. Fine, suit yourself.

When he walked to his desk next to Iwaizumi he saw the three banshees giggling again and whisper urgently, wicked mouths hidden behind their hands.

He groaned inwardly.

After class as you packed up to walk to the next room, he ditched Iwaizumi, Makki and Mattsun and hurried after you. You simply lengthened your strides but in all fairness even that with your much shorter chubby legs was no challenge for the tall volleyball captain.

“Don't you have anything better to do?“, you snapped when he even followed you to the vending machine where you grabbed a juice.

Yes! “No.“

“Why are you following me?“

“Because I like to annoy you, y/n-chan~“

Confused, you scrunched your brow. “Well… stop that.“

By the time lunch rolled around you had had enough. He walked quietly half a step behind you and your friend, keeping an eye out for the banshees, when you suddenly whipped around.

“What is your problem, Oikawa-san?“

Your friend gasped (she was an unofficial supporter of him but out of loyalty to you kept that little piece of information to herself).

“I- come on.“

He grabbed your arm and pulled you out of a side door into the delicate spring sun.

You shook off his hand and crossed your arms.

“Listen, on the way to school this morning I heard these girls talking about … about wanting to do something to you. They have your schedule and everything.“

For a moment your lips parted in surprise and your arms loosened, almost falling to your side but just as quickly, you regained your defiant stance.

“So what?“

Oikawa blinked.

“So…“

“I have to deal with them every other day. Hiding my stuff, pushing me on the stairs, dropping my lunch on the floor. It‘s nothing new. Stay out of it! You‘re only gonna make it worse.“

A new wave of irritation rose in his chest. Then why didn’t you tell a teacher!? Your stubbornness was beyond comprehension. How could someone be this-

“Fine.“, he said with a shrug, “It‘s all the same to me. Do whatever you want.“

“I will!“ And you stormed off. Your cute little stomps stirred up some dust on the sandy courtyard. He shook his head. Wait, not cute. Aggravating! Bullheaded! - Impressive. Strong.

Oikawa sighed and went back inside to grab lunch with his friends. He couldn‘t do anything if you didn‘t want his help. And maybe you were right. Maybe he would make it worse.

Practice was exhausting but good. The coach dismissed the team but didn‘t bat an eye when the captain didn‘t move towards the changing room like everyone else. Instead he handed him the keys to the gym and gave him a pat on the shoulder before he left.

Grabbing the rolling cart with the balls, Oikawa got into position to practice his serves but through the open doors, he spotted an illuminated window on the second floor. People packing up their things and getting ready to go home - you among them. He knew you were part of a book club, because originally he wanted to join as well but upon dodging the poisonous daggers shooting from your eyes when he approached the club manager he rescinded his application and left the book discussions to you.

He shouldn’t get involved. You clearly told him to back off and really, why did he care?

Because it was wrong, for one.

Because you didn‘t do anything to deserve this treatment.

Because you were the only real competition he ever faced academically.

Because you were his equal if not better.

Because you made him push himself.

Because… he didn‘t like the thought of you getting hurt.

Because… he didn‘t want you to deal with this on your own.

He rushed to the changing room, completely ignoring the wide eyes of his team.

“Y/n-chan!“, he called.

In no time he caught up to you.

“Sorry about-“

He was already wondering where your backpack was when he noticed you cradling it in your arms.

The shoulder straps had been cut off.

“I can take care of myself.“, you said quietly.

He couldn‘t help himself and smiled.

“I know you can. But… it‘s just… I would feel better if you… wouldn‘t…“

You halted, looking at the ground, then after a few seconds, met his eyes.

He fully expected you to tell him off again. Maybe even throw your strapless backpack at him. But instead you were… blushing! Enough for him to see it in the yellow lights of the streetlamps. His mouth dropped open. Had you always been this adorable?

“Alright.“, you said, “You can walk me home…“

His smile widened.

“Tomorrow, too?“

“Don‘t push it.“

a/n: Thank you so so much for this prompt. It was so much fun to figure out! I hope you enjoy it!

for requests see here

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Sturgeon Moon in Aquarius ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Ah, Aquarius Full Moon… The inventor, the engineer, the pioneer, the communicator. Yes, the communicator. A world-changer needs to communicate with the community to gain insight and also to communicate the changes they wish to roll out.

Being the last Air Sign, Aquarius is all about gaining insights/perspectives in order to understand fully and deeply the matter at hand. Aquarius endeavours to understand how the Devil ticks so it can begin a revolution and beat the Devil. Ya know?

This full moon is not a time to give up on you dreams and move on to a different, more practical things. This time around, honey, really allow yourself to be a lil crazier than usual. Bask in this over-the-top eccentric Aquarius energy because that’s how the genius bleeds unto your consciousness.

‘I think I mentioned in previous shows, I spent half my life in the military. And I used to come home, take off my little soldier hat, put on my painter’s hat and there, I’d build the kind of world that I wanted. It was peaceful, it was quiet, there was no hassle, nobody was yelling… and it was good. Everything was good. Nobody was going to get shot or hurt, not in my world… and it’s a happy place.’ – Bob Ross

From all the contrasts and oppositions you’ve experienced, what kind of new innovations can you bring Mankind? Can you develop the wisdom to bridge between personal truths and maintaining a social life? Your place in the world—your role—is important; you just need to figure it out first and this Full Sturgeon Supermoon in Aquarius will help with that🎣

[Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Your New World Begins Right Here Right Now In Your Mind

c o m m u n i c a t i o n – 8 of Wands Rx

You’ve been in the process of manifesting a huge, life-changing something in your Life for quite a while now. I think on a deep Soul level your heart and mind are sick and tired of waiting. You haven’t even been just waiting, you’ve actually been working actively to change something significant in your Life. But it’s only felt like nothing’s changed at all. It feels like you’ve been stuck in a strange loop of the same motions of emotions. Your train of thoughts has been circling the same miserable place again and again.

It feels like everything has changed and yet nothing seems to have changed at all. I’m still stuck in the same place—why?

Well, because your train has been held back from changing destinations. And I’ll have you know that it’s not your fault entirely. It’s your subconscious fearing to shift lanes but this isn’t because you’re incapable, it’s because there was a bad situation/environment that has caused you to become afraid of the unknown. This has slowed down your manifestation game…

m o t i v a t i o n – 5 of Wands Rx

Something terrible happened in the past that really broke your confidence in the benevolence of the Universe. You got disappointed after believing that things would get better but they didn’t. And now you have trust issues. You can’t really trust that the Universe would have your back if you tried something new and got into trouble because in the past, the Universe has let you down. At least this is how it’s felt for you. Was it the case that the Universe, your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides really let you go? Umm… not exactly.

There’s this psychologist on YouTube (forgot his name) who has this to say about the nature of trauma: ‘Trauma is not what has been done to you. Trauma is how you perceive what has been done to you.’ It’s quite fascinating, so I hope you could understand this notion intuitively. Now, whatever happened that’s caused your trust to be tarnished, I’m not saying the people who let you down or hurt you horribly are excusable. The point is not that.

The point is that from now on you can take back control of your mind. By realising patterns and the sources of our internal chaos, gradually we can unravel the threads of trauma.

Before the battle of the fist, comes the battle of the mind. Everybody was kung fu fighting~

i n n o v a t i o n – 6 of Pentacles Rx

I’m seeing that right as you’re reading these words, you’re in the preparation stage(s) of a new beginning that will make you really HAPPY (you have the Priestess of Happiness in the bonus content). I think you’re leaving behind an environment, a job, a relationship, a mindset even, that isn’t serving your highest good. It’s been a long time coming, but the lane shift is finally possible.

It's like you’re finally getting out of a karmic loop that’s been halting your explosive manifestation. You’re no longer empathising with that kind of mindset, point of view, or way of life. You’ve held on for too long now you must go and leave that hopeless case however it likes to continue. It’s none of your business now. You’re not sharing your energy with these situations or people anymore.

You’ve got to give your attention to your real desires to be of service to this world. There is a place somewhere in this world where you’re needed and that’s where your Soul truly belongs.

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – An Alien Doesn’t Belong With the Mortals

c o m m u n i c a t i o n – I The Magician

Wow, I don’t pull this card very often😜You’re an eccentric alien who’s been hard at work mingling with the rest of the Humans, aren’t you? I think to a large extent, you’ve shielded this world from truly seeing your Light, which is such a shame because you have so many amazing gifts to share with Humanity. But the way I see it, it’s just a survival tactic. After all, this world isn’t very kind towards eccentrics.

You might’ve come from a family/school background in which you were ridiculed (maybe even bullied) for being different. It was really painful and whether or not you’re conscious of this, you’ve made quite an attempt to shield yourself from the world so you don’t get made fun of.

But right now, this full moon in Aquarius wants to let you know that you can’t hide forever. Your brilliance is too magnificent to hide forever. Your shield, your covers are all falling apart because the world is needing your talents, soon enough. You’ll see✨

m o t i v a t i o n – Knight of Wands Rx

I’m thinking right away of that theme song from Disney’s Big Hero 6. It keeps saying something along the line of, ‘We could be immortals~’ or something like that. That song is nice, and I think the lyrics could awaken something in you.

You are an immortal, when you really think about it. So, don’t be afraid of losing time or thinking you’re too old to begin now. Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date, OK? If something is your calling, it will keep calling you. So, whatever you’re thinking right now, if it gives you an unmistakably strong feeling that you’re meant to do it, that’s it. Your calling is calling you.

You’re meant to walk the plank towards a great big adventure. Of course, you could choose to ignore and brush it off and then go back to your ordinary Life that’s pretty much miserable on a spiritual level. But are you really alright with that?

i n n o v a t i o n – Knight of Cups

The change from the Knight of Wands Rx to this Knight of Cups tells me that you’re actually a lil afraid of your passions because you could have somewhat obsessive tendencies. You do know that a lot of people struggle with this, right? Once you’re into something you’re passionate about, once you get super excited, super into something, you go full deranged mode and become obsessive for like 3 weeks or 3 months straight. And you think this is crazy person behaviour and you try to avoid that as much as possible because that seems like the reasonable thing to do.

STOP RIGHT THERE.

This kind of tendency is actually your overcompensating for all the hours, days and weeks that you’ve starved yourself from basking in the glory of all the things that do bring you a sense of being ALIVE. Think about that for a moment.

Aaaand… Basically, this is your invitation to start bringing small elements of the things, activities, pursuits that do make you feel alive into your everyday Reality. If you’re surrounded by these things every day, they become such a natural part of your daily life and you’ll be rescued from any sense of temporary addictions☃️Relax, hon, you’ve got this~❄️

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Flow Naturally to Where the Love Is

c o m m u n i c a t i o n – Queen of Cups Rx

You’re somebody who’s incredibly accommodating to other people. In spite of your best effort to be kind and affectionate, you still feel misunderstood. I think you’re also often taken advantage of and you know that, but you can’t really stand your ground, so you keep all your thoughts and laments to yourself, bottling up a lot of unspoken emotions that are quite heavy to carry alone.

With that, you often feel like you just wanna run away from all Humans. You want to be free from the chains of human connections and terrible interactions. I think you’re tired on a level that’s hard to put into words. You’re a free spirit incarnate in Human form and that’s quite suffocating. I think many aspects of the modern life don’t suit you.

At this point, you’re not sure yet what you’re supposed to be doing to change your world. You’re simply emotionally tired. And I think that’s fine. Being tired is not a mistake; it doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you Human, ironically🦩

m o t i v a t i o n – 9 of Cups

The way I see it, right now you’re needing to swim more in your dreams and emotions. Try to be one with those watery sensations. I’m sure you’ll find clarity of purpose when you actually let yourself feel all your feelings. It’s like, the answer you’re looking for can only come to the surface when you’re in the waters. I hope that makes sense.

Of all the piles, you’re like so magical and fluid and I’m totally not getting a concrete vision of what it is you’re supposed to be doing in terms of manifesting your ideal life in accordance with this Aquarius full moon energy. Baby, you’re not even here; you’re hallucination. Right now, you’re not even properly grounded in Earth Matrix Reality that it doesn’t even feel like you are part of the collective🤪

But ultimately, that’s also the very thing that makes you magical. You don’t play in the same dimension as most Humans do. It’s safe for you to listen to the whispers of your heart right now, because ultimately, I think your Higher Self just wants you to realise how deeply lovable you are, first and foremost, and for that reason alone you are deserving to see all your dreams manifest into Reality, eventually enough😉

i n n o v a t i o n – 7 of Wands Rx

The funny thing is, if you’ve decided you want to live in your desired reality right now, that’s also possible, right? I know there is logic and sequences in this rigid reality, but at least, if you’ve made up your mind about not wanting to participate in the rat race, that conviction will guide your actions accordingly. If your actions do not reflect your inner thoughts yet, it’s because you’re still resisting the change.

Don’t be afraid of being disliked by others. Their thoughts about you reflect more about them than actually yourself, so what’s your care? It will do you good to choose the path of least resistance. Flow naturally to where the Love is. Where is the Love, you ask? First, within yourself. The moment you decide that you will uphold Love and respect for yourself, you will stop tolerating people who do not show you the Love and respect you deserve to be treated with.

Go naturally with it. Your heart, when you’re honest with yourself, will lead the way towards a happier Reality. Just enjoy the swim for now🥰

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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Damn Those Dog Tags: Part 15 - Have You Ever Seen The Rain

📖I need to make two apologies. First, I am so sorry for the long delay. While work was beating my ass, I actually received a rude comment on my Wattpad account for the last chapter that triggered a horrible writer's block. It was taken care of, and it didn't bother me at the time, but I didn't realize how much it affected me until I started to write. Then I decided to use it for inspiration!

Secondly, I'm so sorry for what is about to unfold. This one was planned from the get-go (which is also probably why I struggled because this is the one chapter I dreaded having to write).

(I'll be running from the pitchforks as they come, Woot Woot!)

❗️+18, strong language, godmother reader/original female character, Mentions of an original child, Shitty family dynamics, Angst, verbal fights, sexist implications, one slap across the face, and Jake being Hangman.

#6k words

Part 14 | Masterlist | Part 16

The story behind how you started ego-checking some of the cocksure pilots at Hard Deck is less interesting than one might think.

It all started with a game. 

You weren't kidding when you told Jake you were a library, loving geek who'd rather spend her time deep in the stacks. That was the plot of your entire post-secondary experience. You didn't know how to flirt. You stayed clear of frat parties and cliquey groups. And if a guy tried to flirt with you, you ran for the freaking hills without a backward glance.

You only decided to take that bartending job in building H's damp, dark basement because you were dead-ass broke. But the thing about being a bartender on a University campus, there were moments when you had nothing but time on your hands.

You had to get creative.

Looking back, you would blame the writer-orientated part of your mind that decided to create that little game of making up stories for the people who regularly visited the miserable bar.

The quiet girl, always sitting in the back corner, cramming for a test or writing a paper. Did she like the ambience, or was she avoiding the library? Or was she trying to work up the nerve to ask out one of the bussers, waiting for the perfect meet cute?

Maybe the nerds who gathered every Friday at the arcade-style game consoles playing Pac-Man needed to leave their dorm because Friday nights tended to be the one night everyone liked to party.

Those popular girls sitting around a table with their $5 cocktails, lowcut tanktops, and jean shorts, always on their phones gossiping over the latest social media post from their favourite celebrities. Did they have Regina George in their ranks? Which one was sleeping with the other's boyfriend? How much blackmail did they have on each other?

Which one would murder the other first?

That little game you invented for yourself got you out of your shell. It also made it easier to deal with the persistent football jocks who'd try to flirt with you for a free shot.

Ridley would always get a kick out of it whenever you told her. You'd always imagined her curling up in a ball and kicking her feet back and forth while she squealed in laughter over the phone.

"Be a character in one of your freaking stories. Or better yet, act it out! You're a damn writer, Lizzie."

She was right. So you did. 

You'd never forget the laughter of that football jock when your rejection of his flirting attempts to weasel a free drink out of you resulted in his childish reply of, "Well, nobody's perfect, Sweetheart, least of all you."

"I never said I was," you had said with a smile.

You must have said something right because a few minutes later, Penny was introducing herself and chatting you up, asking if you wanted a better job bartending.

You were all too happy to leave. But nothing could have prepared you for the hotshot, ego-driven, and stupidly horny Top Gun pilots who frequented the Hard Deck. 

Between remembering their drink order or what side of the room they tended to gravitate towards, you needed more than your little guessing game to figure out their tells. You did pick up little things about them, though.

The WSOs were the kindest; ironically, they stood out in the crowds. Always a kind smile, never a bad thing to say about anyone.

The female pilots were always badass. At least, you thought so. Strong. Always commandeering the room the second they walked in. Always nice, no question about it. But mess with them; you got schooled hard.

They were the literal definition behind the saying, 'Do no harm, but take no shit.'

And with each new group that came in, the male pilots, the single flyers you had called them, paled compared to those jocks. They never changed. A pair constantly vied for first place with each new group that came through the Top Gun program.

Always a pair of males. Women always knew there was more at stake than a freaking trophy.

Those guys talked to you. Well... properly flirted at you.

That's where your little game came in handy. Picking out the little things about them, letting your mind do the creative parts next. It's how you turned Jake down so quickly that first time.

But the guy currently approaching the bar? He did not fit the bill of any regular customer you had seen in a while.

Tourists came and went without question. They stood out like a pack of flies, unsure where to go, with friendly faces and always asking what the best places were. They tipped great, and they never returned.

This guy? 

Not a tourist.

He was from out of town. The plaid shirt, jeans and cowboy boots were unusual for a California bar. It was also how he gaped at the walls and ceiling, taking in all the Navy memorabilia Penny had collected over the years. If you hadn't been paying attention, you could have sworn there was a look of distaste on his face with each new item he saw.

But what irked you was the sense of familiarity you couldn't place while looking at him. Blonde hair and a sharp face. Something in how he carried that toothpick between his teeth, not in the way god forbid fucking Tyler had, but as if it was a piece of grass. Also, in the way he walked.

Then he openly leered at a woman's ass as she walked by, and it all made sense.

Ah, a Wham, Bam, Thank You, Mam.

He sat in the empty chair directly in front of you, still watching the women's retreating form. You didn't want to serve him, but a tiny part of you hoped your assumption had been wrong.

It had been a while since you had to rebuff flirty advances; the newer pilots going through the Top Gun Program hardly said anything to you except smile and relay their order.

You suspected Jake was behind it.

"What can I get you?" you smiled at the guy. He slowly pulled his eyes away with a sly grin. The second he caught sight of your face, his mouth stretched even wider as he leaned forward on the bar.

"Your number and the name of a good hotel."

You should have known better. 

If it looked like a duck, it quacked like a duck too.

Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you straightened the line of shot glasses under the bar, not once looking up as you answered him. "Well, I can answer one out of two of those questions, but I'm afraid the only hotels around here are resorts. There is a bed and breakfast about ten minutes down the road that will give you a good deal."

"Will they give me a good deal if I mention your name?"

"Only my friends know my name, and you are simply a customer sitting at my bar wanting a drink?" you raised your eyebrow, tapping your finger against the bar.

He made a show of thinking about it, rocking his shoulders back and forth. He finally nodded, leaning forward to answer you.

"Whiskey. Straight."

You recognized his accent as you reached beneath the bar to grab the bottle. It was more pronounced and slightly more profound, but without a doubt, he sounded like Jake.

Good old southern Texas Charm.

Normally you'd engage in small talk, but you wanted nothing more than to leave this asshole alone. Thinking he'd leave it be after you poured him his drink, you slid the glass forward, then made your way over to the other side of the bar.

The words he called out after you made you stop in your tracks.

"You must get attention all the time. Having your pick of the litter each year."

You whipped around, offended. " Are you calling me easy?!"

He shrugged. "I'm just saying a good-looking woman like yourself, in this place... you clearly aren't sticking around because of the pay."

Oh, you wanted this guy gone. That could have been one of the most double-standard comments you had ever received. Old Liz would have sputtered, maybe run into the back fridge and asked one of the other bartenders to handle it.

You now? No chance in hell. If he were going to give it, you would give it right back. You weren't going to play the boyfriend card. You could fight your own battles, and something told you even if you told him you had a boyfriend, he'd think you were lying. He seemed like the type that wouldn't take no for an answer.

"You've got some nerve." You crossed your arms, matching back to him from the other side of the bar. "Let's get one thing straight. I'm not here because I'm looking for attention or have trouble finding a date. You've spent all of two minutes sitting at this bar, talking shit, while I've been fighting the urge to point out your confusion regarding basic anatomy." 

He raised his eyebrows at your reply. "My confusion?" 

You leaned forward, resting your arms upon the bar, eyeing him sourly. "Is your mouth your asshole, or are you just one?" 

It was one of the more cruder remarks you had ever responded with. But this guy was trying to go for gold. Unphased, he leaned back in his chair, throwing his hands up. "Hey, no need to be aggressive. You should take it as a compliment. I never called you anything derogatory." 

You huffed, pushing yourself away from him, rolling your eyes. "Calling me good-looking, then proceeding to say I'm only working here because it's 'easy to access' is still calling a woman a slut. You don't need to say the word to imply the meaning." 

You ripped the dishrag from your shoulder, running it under the tap, muttering more to yourself, "There's no way that shit works on women."

"It does on the women back home," he answered you.

"Oh, so are you staying? Don't tell me you're a new pilot at Top Gun."

They'll beat that attitude right out of you.

"Oh, I'm just passing through. I figured I'd scout out the area. I heard this was a Navy bar. Don't understand what all the fuss is about." 

You didn't answer him. Opening your mouth only led to him replying, and the quicker he finished his drink, the faster he'd leave. He took your silence as a means to continue. 

"Still playing hard to get?" 

"You ask me a question. I might choose not to answer." 

"Wow. Subtle." 

You turned, a hand on your hip. "You can't honestly expect me to speak to you, a complete stranger, after the way you just undermined my job because I'm not giving to your attempts. There is nothing to get." 

He smiled, holding out his hand. "George Seresin. There, not a stranger."

Well, shit.

You wanted to hang your mouth open like a fish. You were staring down Jake's brother.

Now you understood Jake's reaction to Janet's warning. His anxious behaviour in the back of his truck. His lost-in-thought stares or the way he couldn't stop looking at you and Sadie when he came home from work this week.

George Seresin was a very unwelcome, uninvited and long-awaited guest.

Something snapped in your stomach, a twinge of weariness that Jake didn't confide in you. Then again, your slight disappointment was overshadowed by something greater.

Clearly, you were fated to ego-check both Seresin brothers while standing behind this bar. Because the idea came without warning, without doubt, or any sense of hesitancy. 

George Seresin was at the Hard Deck.

He was right in front of you, trying to flirt with you without any idea who you were. 

And he was sitting in the best spot in the entire place.

It was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

You stepped backwards, turning to lean up against the bar. As you did with Jake all those months ago, you took the rag and started to wipe.

"So let me get this straight," you said, dragging the damp cloth around his glass, not once looking up. "I tell you my name in some effort to prove we are not strangers. I'm supposed to forget about your 'comments,' so you can use that good old Texas charm to woo me into your bed with a promise of a good time?"

You finally looked up, George only staring back at you with a heated smoulder.

"Something tells me none of those loose cannons cannot even promise you a good time. A quick roll in the sheets before they let some brass monkey in a fancy suit tell them where to shoot. You look like you could let loose for once in your life."

You froze, losing your grip on the rag and fingers twitching. Scanning Jake’s brother, you leaned against the bar, resting your weight on your elbows, throwing the fabric over your shoulder as you got inside his bubble. You never once broke eye contact as you pinned him down.

George bought it, hook, line and sinker. He was so focused on you and your face that he was oblivious to everything and everyone around him, including how your hand slowly reached up toward the rope hanging from the top of the bar.

The second he looked at your lips, you tugged.

Cheers and music flooded the Hard Deck when everyone heard the distinct ring of the barbell. You guessed the song right away, old habits dying hard.  Slow Ride, its distinct beat letting you know Jake was here and he had seen the whole thing.

George reeled back, shocked as a few people came up and slapped him on the back, thanking him. You laughed softly at his reaction, pushing yourself away to help the few customers you knew who would take advantage of the free drink.

You had never rang the bell for someone like him. George Seresin would be the only exception.

"What the hell just happened?" he called after you. You didn't bother turning around, flinging your hand to gesture over your head, "Read the sign!"

George followed the direction of your hand, landing on the piece of wood dangling by the silver chain.

You disrespect a lady, the navy, or you put your cell phone on the bar, you buy a round.

You had already helped a few customers when he managed to tear his eyes away to glare at you heatedly. You turned to face him with a gleeful grin. Instead of asking him which one he thought you rang him out for, you started teasingly singing along to the chorus.

You hadn't done that in a while. It felt good.

"What did he do to warrant that?" 

You smiled up at Jake as he approached the bar. He never took his eyes off you as he leaned on his elbow against the top of the bar beside George. 

"What do you think?" you laughed at him.

Jake smirked. "I'd say he didn't take no for an answer."

"He did a little more than that. Tell him to put his cell phone on the bar, and he'd get three out of three."

"Ouch," Jake dramatically drawled. He finally turned his head, nodding once in his brother's direction. "Hi, Georgie." 

You stiffed a giggle. 

George huffed, jutting his chin out in your direction. "This one is trouble."

"Don't I know it," Jake said, looking back at you. "Pulled the same trick on me the first time I met her. Only she didn't ring the bell. Guess I did something right, considering she let me come back."

George glanced between you and Jake several times, and you could see the gears grinding in his head. 

"Hi," you beamed at him, walking over and holding out your hand. "Elizabeth Beck. Your brother's girlfriend. I guess we aren't strangers after all."

George stared down at your hand, then gritting his teeth, knocking back another gulp of whiskey. He spat out his following words with the glass still to his lips, "So you are real. Jake, there's no way you're dating her."

 You didn't try to hide the snark from your voice as you lowered your hand. "You thought I was imaginary? Sorry to disappoint."

George still chose to ignore you. "What's the matter, little brother? Need your girlfriend to speak for you?"

Jake stiffened, and it took everything in you not to ring the bell once more. Cause you knew if you did, Jake would be the one to help throw George out, and you didn't know what repercussions he could face.

"At least he has a girlfriend," you scoffed. "I can't imagine you've ever had a meaningful relationship with how you treat women."

You spied his empty whiskey glass, grabbing it firmly.

"Wham."

Sliding it across the bar's smooth surface, you caught it in the palm of your other hand.

"Bam."

Reaching into the pocket of your apron with your free hand, you slapped his bill down in front of him, rounds and all, attempting your best version of a Texan accent.

"Thank you, Mam."

Not wanting to waste more time on him, you turned to Jake, slightly worried. Some of you didn't know how to act around Jake when he was like this. When he was so... Hangman.

You gently touched his wrist, murmuring softly, "I'll see you in a half hour?"

He twisted his arm in your grasp, sliding his hand down so he could gently squeeze yours. But his eyes screamed a different, intense, unsettling story. As if he was assessing you for any threat.

"Sure."

You tried not to let it bother you, his non-chalent reply. Trying not to frown, you let go of his wrist to serve another customer, calling out as you walked away, "It was nice meeting you, Georgie!"

Jake watched you go with a slight turn of his head, proud you one-upped his brother but wishing you didn't leave him alone.

He knew why George was here. What he wanted him to do. No amount of smirk, cockiness, or even Hangman, could save Jake from this. George was the grave reminder that no matter where the Navy sent him, whether in California or on the other side of the world, there was no end to the metaphorical leash the 'hell bringer' had on both of his sons. 

George scraped his chair back to stand. "Come on, little brother," he gruffed out, tossing his credit card onto the bar. "We need to have a chat."

—-

With Ridley's Jean jacket in hand and your bag, you placed them on the bar as you greeted Jimmy after finishing your shift. "Can you watch these for a second, Jimmy? I'm just going to the bathroom before I find Jake. We're going to pick Sadie up from Penny's and take her out for dinner."

The older man smiled. "She's feeling better?"

You nodded. "Mild concussion. She was okay after a few days and back at school. Bummed about not being able to play in soccer playoffs, though. Hence the trip."

"That girl loves her soccer. What a shame."

"Jake's is making it easier on her. I don't know what I would do without him."

He tilted his head towards the bathroom hall with a knowing grin. "Go get ready for your date."

You blushed, walking away, calling over your shoulder, "It's not a date!"

After freshening yourself up, you took a few moments to stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. You saw the famous callsign board hanging on the wall behind you. You scanned the names from the mirror, looking for Jake's, doing a double take when you couldn’t find it. You turned, properly facing the wall.  

Like the sign in the bar, it was a piece of wood with the words engraved into the top, “Ladies Beware: Navigate the Hard Deck with Care!” and underneath that, “Pilots who fly solo.” Several metal slots were glued to the surface, designed so she could easily slide plastic slate with a pilot’s callsign into place. 

You recognized a few, even Rooster's, though his was listed way further down, out of harm’s way. But Jake's was nowhere to be found. 

Then you realized - Penny had taken his name off.

She didn't do that for a lot of people. You could only recall one other instance when she removed a pilot's callsign from that board. She prided herself on it, so much so she never removed Maverick's at the top of the list, even after they got back together.

You needed to tell Jake. 

With a hint of a smile, you eagerly walked out of the bathroom to find him. He was standing with George at the pool table, the elder Seresin brother lining up a shot as he spoke. As you approached them, you honed in on Jake, realizing he looked uncomfortable. Stiff, shoulders square, and his fists were clenched tight.

The closer you got, the more you heard of their conversation, and when you heard Sadie's name fall from George's mouth, you froze. Hearing him utter her name, especially in that hardened tone, was a punch to the gut. The urge to hide behind one of the support pillars in the middle of the room at the last second was too great to ignore, and you made yourself as small as possible. 

You had stumbled upon a conversation you weren’t supposed to hear. George’s voice accompanied the sound of the eight-ball scattering the balls across the table. 

"Come on, man," he said, his tone laced with arrogance. "Think about it. She threw her whole life away for her niece. She's tied down now, and you deserve someone who can give you more than that."

Jake remained silent. George continued, encouraged by his lack of protest. "You're a Navy pilot, for crying out loud. You could have anyone you want. Why settle for a girl with so much baggage?"

You weren’t stupid. You knew enough about George to realize he was the golden child, the favourite used to getting his way. George would only see you as Jake’s attempt to one-up him on something. 

“You know why I'm here,” you heard him say firmly. “Dad doesn’t approve. He wants you to know if you continue on with her, you will never be welcomed back home.”

You swallowed hard, a knot forming in your stomach. There would never be a time when you asked Jake to choose you over his family, even with what you knew. You wanted to go out there, but this was Jake’s battle. Storming out to threaten anything but a kick to the balls was out of the question. 

But when Jake finally spoke, his words were like shards of ice piercing your skin.

"Yeah, you're right."

A strangled noise escaped from you, a sound of raw pain and disbelief. You clapped your hands over your mouth, trying to muffle the sob threatening to escape. George’s reply triggered the blood rushing through your ears, the pain in your forearm from your nails biting hard into the skin. 

“You know I am,” he laughed, another clack of the pool balls sounding out. “

There was only one way you saw this - Jake played you like he played those other bartenders. 

You couldn’t hide any longer. You pushed yourself away from the pillar, swerving around to confront them. 

“So Sadie and I were just a game to you?” 

Jake turned sharply, shock in his eyes. “Liz,” he held his hands out in front of him. “It’s not what…” 

“Not what?” you said heatedly, tears streaming from your eyes. “I heard plenty!” 

He opened his mouth to say something, but the words died in his throat, confronted with your beat red face and tears. You were not supposed to hear all that. 

The shock on his face was not enough to erase the sting of his words.

"Come on, Liz. You don't understand... it's..."

"What's there to understand, Jake?" you interjected, your voice seething with a volatile mix of pain and anger. "That I'm just another one of your bartenders?"

“Liz, don’t.” 

“Enlighten me, Jake.” You crossed your arms. “Tell me all the reasons why. That bringing me flowers wasn’t a game. That getting close to my niece wasn’t a game. Asking me to give you a chance, taking me out on a date.”

 You sobbed. “Taking me up in that damn plane.” 

The thought was erupt, tearing itself from the deepest part of your mind. You couldn’t help it, the words spilling out in blinded anger. “Was my grief an opportunity for you to get into my pants? Telling me it would be alright so you could leave me high and dry? Telling me it was going to be okay?” 

There was a sudden shift in his expression, his gaze hardening. As if a switch had been flipped, the warm, understanding man you knew disappeared, replaced by a stranger draped in defensiveness and sarcasm.

"Oh, excuse me," he declared. "I didn't realize I was your knight in shining armour, rushing to your rescue the second you need all your problems fixed. The girl who never had a relationship, thinking a man would solve all her issues."

The words hit you like a physical blow, your knees nearly buckling beneath you. Jake's harsh gaze didn't match his usual soft and protective demeanour. It was like looking at a stranger, someone you didn't recognize. The man before you was not the Jake you'd fallen for.

This man reminded you of your father. 

Was this his plan all along? You racked your mind, searching for any indication this had been coming. But what only stood out was Rooster's words echoing in your head where you found none. 

Did you really only add your name to the list of women Hangman had pursued?

Because here and now, those months of working through the trauma of losing Ridley didn't matter. 

Was anything about this past year even worth it? The moments you worked through when you would avoid anyone mentioning her because acknowledging her in the past tense was too much. Avoiding the things that reminded you of her. Till helped you through it.  

She would know what to say right now. She would be the one beating his ass with verbiage and scathing remarks. She would nail the moment and get it right. 

It hit you, the hidden weight of how desperately you missed her. 

Suddenly, you were that girl again, starting her first shift in that basement bar, wondering what to say to the students who saw you as a mere bookworm with no character or class - because you couldn't compare to the girl sitting in the corner writing her paper, actually having the courage to ask that busboy out. 

Or the geeks in the corner cheering as hard as they did when they beat their high score on the console, uncaring of strange looks. Or that girl, finally standing up to her 'so-called friends' when one had been spreading rumours and crude remarks about her to the others behind her back. 

He really did leave you out to dry. 

"Stay the fuck away from my niece," you managed to gasp through your tears. "And stay the fuck away from me."

You wanted to believe your assumption that Jake was merely putting on a front. Hangman, his alternate self, was his attempt at protecting himself. 

You had a hard time doing so.

There, plain as day, across his face was the most condensing grin you had ever seen as he dramatically drawled out slowly, "No fucking problem, sweetheart."

You didn't believe in thinking about everything you regretted throughout your life. Ridley was the only exception; if you had done more, moved back home after school, or gone to the police the day you kicked Tyler out, maybe she'd still be here. You couldn't change what had happened in your life, so spending time thinking about it in the present wouldn't do you much good. 

So it was no surprise to you when you followed through with your knee-deep reaction, your hand coming up out of nowhere, open and firm, slapping Jake hard enough across the side of his face, his head turning with the force of it.

You knew you shouldn't have. You weren't a violent person by any means. Next to Tyler, you never had raised a hand to anyone. You were too hurt to care you just slapped him.

That should have scared you shitless.

Rather than voice the obvious, you remained silent, allowing every repressed thought, every buried emotion to resurface.

Ridley - dead. 

Sadie - hurt. 

Tyler - lurking. 

Bradley - damaging.

It was all too much.

George's figure stood out from behind Jake amongst your blurry vision, tears creating a vignette in your line of sight. You tore past Jake, sticking your finger out only to push George square in his chest. He stepped back at the force, hand shooting out to balance himself against the pool table.

Jake wouldn't have done that had George not shown up. Had he not played with Jake's emotions.

"You need a fucking ego check and to grow the fuck up," you seethed at him. "I don't know whose got your balls on a very tight leash, but you have no right to go around and fucking up other people's relationships."

George didn't answer you, taking his hand off the table to stand properly. You pressed him again. "Does it give you some sick fucking pleasure to hurt your brother? Dad loves me best, so I'm going to remind everyone just cause I can?"

George was still avoiding your heated glare, fixating on his football ring, twisting the piece of metal back and forth. It only pissed you off further.

"My eyes are over here, Jackass! Have the decency to look me in the fucking eyes when I'm talking to you."

If nobody had been watching when you slapped Jake, you clearly had their attention now. Even with the music blasting from the speakers, every conversation in the Hard deck had gone quiet. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, but you couldn't care less.

You were too far gone.

George slowly cocked his head to face you. Your breath was harsh, your body jolting with each gasp as you gave in to the anger. "My sister died, and I took in my niece. What's so fucking wrong about that? That I threw my life away, that I have no future?" 

He shifted on his feet, about to transfer the pool stick into his other hand, when you reached out and snatched it out of his grasp, tossing it behind you with a clack. 

"You're damn right I did! That's what you do for people you love. I would sacrifice my entire life so she could have hers. And I would do it again in a fucking heartbeat. I will stay on the other side of that bar for the rest of my so-called miserable life, getting catcalled and dealing with assholes like you if it gives her the best shot with the shitty hand she's dealt. You, George Seresin, have no right to judge the choices I've made in my life." 

Your breathing was harsh, ribs aching with effort. Every vein, every pore, was consumed with pure white rage. And yet, you still found yourself growling out, "You have no right judging your brothers either." 

Even after breaking your heart, you still stood up for Jake. 

"He risks his life every single time he goes up in that jet just so the whole world can fucking survive. So you can go on day in and day out and let your father control what you want to do with your life. So you can gallant around letting someone who has lived their life decide what you do with the rest of yours? So Jake’s here for you to bully and control every time he comes home? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

The burning sensation in your cheeks mirrored the fire in your eyes, unshed tears making them shine brighter. The salty sting of tears blurring your vision did little to diminish the searing gaze you levelled at George.

"My sister believed everyone deserved a chance. That people cared, regardless of what they did or who they were. I had forgotten that until my niece invited Jake to a barbeque, till she invited him on a hike because he was being treated differently. Despite what I heard and everyone telling me otherwise, listing off why I shouldn’t. That he will hurt me and my niece, and I still gave him a chance.”  

Squaring your shoulders and balling your hands to fists at your side, you take a step forward, a dangerous glint in your eyes. You lean towards him, your face close enough to feel his breath, your jaw clenched and muscles tight.  

"You are the first person ever to prove my sister wrong,” your voice is dangerously low, underlying anger accompanying each word. “You sure as hell don't deserve that sentiment." 

As you stepped away, George lifted his head to glance around the room, everyone's eyes pinning him down. The older Top Gun instructors had stood at their tables and chairs, arms crossed. Some of the current students in the program also stood, the others sending him the most scathing glares they could manage. Even some regulars who weren't aviators were casting him a scornful glance.

You spun, ready to leave him in embarrassment and escape this literal fucking mess, when you caught Jake's bewildered gaze, his mouth hanging open in slight shock.

You weren't sure whether it was that look or the dying embers of your outburst that made you spin back around to snarl, "So, leave your brother the fuck alone! Live your own goddamn life without judging others for the choices they make! Cause you sure as hell don't know what it means to sacrifice something for those you love. If you need an example, look around this goddamn room."

Jake reached for your wrist as you charged toward the front door. The second you felt his touch, you shook your hand loose, a wrenching sob tearing through your chest.

"Don't fucking touch me!"

You didn't bother seeing his reaction to your remark, rushing to grab your bag and Ridley's jean jacket off the bar.

The skin around your wrist burned from his touch, the rough callouses once a comfort but now felt like coarse sandpaper. You wanted to get under a shower or jump in the sea, hoping to remove the feeling of every memory, kiss, and word.

God, you let him touch you. Do things with you.

You were going to throw up.

God forbid you didn't want to walk home. But you needed to go, be anywhere but here, and you didn't have your car. Barely keeping it together as you took off toward the door, you had half a mind to look up to watch where you were going, deaf to Jake's shouts of your name.

There was Bradley, sitting in the first booth by the door. His brow furrowed as you made your way over to him, probably having witnessed the ordeal. You were too upset even to question why he wasn't marching across the bar, ready to knock Jake to next Sunday.

It had been weeks since the fight, with no communication in between. But it was a distant memory compared to this. 

It didn't matter what he implied. It didn't matter what happened in your hallway.

It didn't matter.

It didn't matter.

It didn't matter.

You just needed your friend.

With each step you took toward him, your shame only grew greater. You couldn't even look him in the eye when you stopped, standing next to his side of the booth, hugging yourself tighter.

"Can you take me home, Bradley? I don't want to be here anymore."

Bradley's opportunity to act smug had finally arrived. But he didn't do anything other than frown. Standing up from his booth, he threw a few bills onto the table before blocking everyone's view of you. He placed a comforting hand on your back, gently pressing you forward as he uttered quietly, "Of course I can, Liz."

You kept your head down as you stepped towards the door, but Bradley, so willing to help you without so much of an 'I told you so,' made whatever resolve you had, crumble. Your knees wobbled, and your heart dropped into your stomach. You fell, and Bradley's arm whipped out, gripping your hip and pulling you tight to his side to support your weight.

Burying your head into Bradley's shoulder, you hid your face. You didn't want to see the looks of everyone in the Hard Deck, whether pity, concern, or applause, as another wave of tears wrecked your body.

Closing your eyes seemed better than reliving the truth.

And because you kept them shut, you didn't see George place a hand on Jake's shoulder, preventing him from going after you. Nor did you see the look of devastation wreck his face; the weight of every wrong decision he had ever made coming back to haunt him. 

Whether Jake turned on a dime to punch George square in the jaw, you heard none of it. You hadn't even bothered to turn back to look as Bradley carried you out the front door.

.... So... Who is going to pitchfork me first? 👀

Tag List:

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Part 16 - In the Blood coming soon

Wickett ;)

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

A head cannon where Grayson gets kidnapped

grayson gets kidnapped head canons

of course! i'll do it in a similar format as my 'if *insert name* died' posts because i think it makes more sense. wrote this late at night so may be shitty. hope you like them <3.

avery

she'd be one of the people in charge of finding him. she'd be running around looking for clues. she'd think a missing toothbrush was a clue bc she'd be so desperate.

she'd try to keep xander sane because he'd be freaking out in the corner. she'd be patting his head telling him his brother wasn't being forced into selling his suits (his pride and joy) (yes, xander thinks this would happen)

she'd be so anxious she's start biting her nails until they bleed. at the end of the day, she'd end up with bandages around her hands bc of it.

she'd be really impatient with everybody. if they didn't work fast enough for her taste, she's start screaming at them to go faster.

jameson

he'd be sad but find it hilarious at the same time bc big old grayson who never makes mistakes got kidnapped

he'd think of it as a game to distract himself from the fact that his brother might be dead in a ditch.

he'd secretly be crying with xander in the corner (he wouldn't let anyone know though)

when they find the guy who kidnapped grayson, he gives him a good beating before they take him to jail. he beats him up so bad, he almost ends up have to pay a fine.

xander

like i said, he'd be crying in the corner thinking of the worst case scenario. he'd be imagining grayson being hung by his balls and would start crying even more.

he'd start saying the craziest shit. the others would try to find clues as to where he is, and xander would just be like what if they're shaving his beautiful hair off to create a rug.

he'd be organizing his funeral before even finding grayson. he'd be crying asking everyone what flowers they think grayson would like best at his funeral.

when they finally find grayson, he'd act like he didn't go through the 5 stages of grief. he'd pretend to be the one who was least affected by all of it.

nash

he'd be the first one in the car heading off to look for him. he wouldn't give a damn about clues.

he'd have to lock himself in a room to have a mini panic attack cause he doesn't want to let anyone see

he'd be taking care of everyone. xander would be hyperventilating in the corner and he'd go sit next to him telling him to breathe with him. gigi would end up fainting and he'd end up splashing water on her etc.

when they finally find grayson, he'd wrestle his ass cause we know damn well grayson got himself kidnapped in someone else's pace.

alisa

she'd be the one who's most sane. she would tell everyone to calm down and look at the situation from another angle or smth like that

she'd be the one doing all the important calls and sending the emails.

at the same time, she'd be really worried so she's be rushing the police and investigators to go quicker.

she'd also be making sure everyone ate and drank water to make sure no one ended up fainting or smth (gigi still ended up fainting though)

libby

she'd bake cupcakes for everyone to cheer them up.

she'd be holding avery or nash in her arms trying to get them to calm down (nash might not seem like he's freaking out, but he is)

alisa would be so rough with the police officers and investigators that libby would rush in apologizing for alisa's behavior.

max

she's trying to comfort xander but is failing miserably at it because he's wailing like a 2 year old.

she'd be having a midlife crisis wondering how the hell they even got into this situation

she'd actually swear (not her fake swear words) and people would all turn around to look at her simultaneously as if she'd just announced she was pregnant with the rock's baby

gigi

like i said, she would most definitely faint. she's get so nervous, she'd start having a panic attack, and then she'd faint.

she'd basically be like xander. she'd come up with the worse case scenarios in her head, but those worst case scenarios actually ended up being quite funny (like grayson being forced to walk around looking like elmo)

she'd be relying on coffee to keep her alive. by the end of the day, she'd have had like 20 cups of coffee.

when they finally found grayson, she'd punish him by buying him a box full of cats.

savannah

she'd pretend like the whole situation wasn't affecting her but it was.

she'd be panicking, cursing grayson out because gigi passed out (she won't admit it but she felt bad cursing him out bc she loves him)

she'd be looking at the others thinking about how crazy they are. she'd be texting her mom exasperated asking her how she even got into this situation

when they finally find grayson, she smacks his head and then gives him a very quick mini kiss on the cheek bc she's relieved to see him

that's all! hope you like them. i have a ton of other head canons requests i have to work on, so these next hcs posts may be a bit rushed. i apologize if they're not as good.

[secretmellowblog]

Okay, here are some random panels I’m personally looking forward to at the online Les mis convention Barricadescon starting tomorrow!! (note that this off the top of my head, and they’re in no particular order, and that I am excited for all of em.)

(Also note that it’s the last day to register, which you can do on their site here. You can also see the full program of all the panels/their descriptions here.)

1. I’ll say any of the Guests of Honor (Jean Baptiste Hugo, the descendant of Hugo will be talking about his project photographing his ancestor’s house; Christina Soontornvat, author of the award-winning Les Mis retelling “A Wish in the Dark;” and Luciano Muriel, playwright of a 2018 play about Grantaire.)

2. @psalm22-6 ‘s panel “Early Transformative Works,” which is about the earliest Les Mis retellings, parodies, and “fanfics” from the 1800s/early 20th century. They’ve shared deeply cursed sneak peeks with me. Apparently in 1863 a man wrote a “proper Christian” retelling of Les Mis where Javert is reimagined as a proper Christian woman following poor criminals around giving them charity while they keep rejecting her kindness. Powerful. Javert as Mary Sue. (Note that I may be explaining poorly because I haven’t seen the panel yet.

3. History podcaster David Montgomery’s panel “The Yellow Passport: Surveillance and Control in 19th Century France,” which dives into the role of the police and strategies of government surveillance at the time Les Mis is set!

4. My own panel “Why Is There a Roller Coaster in Les Mis,” which I shared the first five minutes of here. There’s an actual scene in Les Mis where Fantine rides a roller coaster so I made a full defunctland video on how that roller coaster got to Paris in 1817, the fascinating historical context behind early roller coasters, and why it became defunct.

5. @thecandlesticksfromlesmis ‘s panel “Beat for Beat,” analyzing the script of Les Mis 2012 and contrasting it with the book and musical. Discussion of 2012 is almost overwhelmingly always about its music or cinematography, and I’m fascinated to hear someone finally analyzing the screenplay/ structural changes.

6. Morbidly curious for “Lee’s Miserables,” the academic panel discussing the paradoxical popularity of a censored version Les Mis in the Confederate South (with all the references to the evils of slavery carefully removed of course)

7. “Barricades as a Tactic,” a panel discussing how barricades actually functioned as a tool of warfare historically and the echoes of them in the modern day.

8. All the little social meetups, including the Preliminary Gaieties drinking game!

9. I’m biased because I’m also helping present this one, but the @lesmisletters panel (on the Dracula-daily inspired Les Mis readalong happening now.)

10. “The Fallibility of History in Les Miserables,” by @syrupsyche. It’s a panel analyzing the way Hugo often treats Les mis as a story that he learned about through research/gossip, rather than a fictional narrative— analyzing where Hugo does that in the text and what it means thematically.

11. The Unknown Light Examined, by Madeleine— a panel analyzing the chapter where the Bishop confronts the elderly revolutionary, and is forced to re examine his political beliefs! An iconic chapter, and the abstract is very compelling.

But also a lot more, check out the exhaustive list here XD. And also register at this link!

[alittlebitofloveliness]

can you please do prompt 2 and 4 with johnny cade?

Outsiders Prompt Fic #5- Why does it hurt so much?

Hi anon! I chose prompt 2 to write for this one. Enjoy!

******************

Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain.

When he was three mama had dropped him taking him out of the bath and he’d hit his head bad enough to give him a concussion. When he was six dad had broken his arm after he lost a little league game and cried about it. He’d survived more beatings than most kids could even dream of- even most east side kids. He’d been sworn at, screamed at, kicked, punched, slapped, and on one particularly memorable occasion when he was fourteen, walloped with a two by four when his old man had been laid off from his job at the lumberyard. He’d even been jumped, bad enough that that horrible white scar tore down his face would be a permanent fixture he was still trying to come to terms with. Over the years he’d come to learn how to grin and bear it. He took every beating in silence, because crying or begging or even screaming only ever made them worse. He’d laughed with broken ribs. Smiled through a puffy lip. Leaned against his friends even when it pressed against his bruises, until pain became first a constant and then an afterthought, simply another fact of his miserable life. You spend enough time in pain, he’d come to realize, then being in pain just becomes normal. 

Which is why it’s strange that the stomach flu of all things seems to be able to bring him to his knees- literally. He’s currently puking in the Curtis’ bathroom, unsure if the vomiting or the agony radiating from his stomach is what’s forcing tears from his eyes.

God, his stomach hurts. He can’t remember anything ever hurting this much. Not even that time mama pressed his palm against the stove when he was eight and accidentally spilled the dinner she made.

“Easy Johnny, you’re alright,” Pony is here, the quiet, supportive pillar he’s always been that makes him Johnny’s best friend in the whole world. Though a part of him is embarrassed that anyone is here to witness this, a much larger part of him, the part that is tired, sick and in pain, is infinitely glad that Ponyboy is here. Pony won’t judge him, never has, never will. Pony will take care of him, the way he has for the past three days, and not make him feel like a baby. Everyone else, whenever they’re around, has hovered and coddled. Pony is just present, his worry quieter, his care soft with love but not pity.

Even Dallas had been weird about this, the whole Johnny being sick thing. He’d acted like a spooked horse when he first got sick and not reappeared after he first came by to check on him two days ago. Maybe if Johnny wasn’t feeling so lousy, he’d care more about that, try and puzzle out why. As it is, it’s all he can do to make sure he makes it to the toilet every time he needs to puke.

It’s a strange illness, one Johnny is quite sure he never wants to experience again. Crashing waves of nausea and pain for hours, followed by brief reprieves where he believes he’s started to turn a corner before the nausea returns full force. It’s a vicious cycle. Johnny hates it.

He’s so tired. 

“It’s just the stomach flu,” he murmurs to Pony, slumping bonelessly against his friend’s side. The younger boy presses a glass of water into his hand, and Johnny lifts it to his lips, his hand shaking like a leaf, “why does it hurt so much?’

“That’s just the thing ain’t it Johnnycakes? I’m startin’ to think it isn’t just the stomach flu.”

Pony’s getting real worried now, Johnny can tell because his voice always gets a bit younger when he’s anxious and he starts immediately looking around for Darry. But Darry isn’t here right now, is at work for at least the next hour. Soda and Steve are both working close at the DX, Two-bit is nursing his own sick kid sister, and Dally is still wherever Dally is. If the chips turn down- and they will, because Johnny knows he must have been born under a bad star for all the times luck is never in his favour- Pony is all he’s got. The thought isn’t as daunting as perhaps it should be. Here he is, sick and not entirely conscious, and all he knows is he trusts Ponyboy Curtis with his life. For all Ponyboy is two years younger, for all he’s the baby of the gang, Johnny doesn’t know anyone he depends on as much as him.

“Probably not,” he admits. This isn’t right, he knows it, has known it since yesterday even. The stomach flu shouldn’t feel like there’s a hot iron stuck in his abdomen, shouldn’t make him half paralyzed with pain and unable to think properly. “Whatever it is, I think it might be bad.”

“Darry’ll be home in a hour,” Pony says decisively, and if Johnny wasn’t so sick he doesn’t think he’d be able to hide his grin at the fact that for all Pony complains about his eldest brother, he’s always the first person he goes to in a crisis, “I’ll give him a call, see if he can hurry along, and we’ll get him to take you to a clinic.”

“Don’t got insurance,” Johnny points out. If he went to the doctor, it wouldn’t matter if this illness didn’t kill him because his old man sure would, “can’t afford no hospital bills.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Ponyboy waves his concern off, “Darry got Dal to get you a fake insurance card. It’s a real good forgery, looks as good as my real one. Far as the state’s concerned, you’re me when you’re sick.

“I ain’t passin’ those hospital bills to you guys!”

“Well we ain’t takin’ no for an answer. If you need a hospital, you’ll go.”

Johnny can tell he means it. He also knows Darry and Soda will back him. All the Curtis boys are as stubborn as they come, and selfless to boot.

He sighs, too tired to argue.

“Alright.”

“I’ll go give Darry a call,” Pony says, squeezing his shoulder gently before he leaves. 

Johnny counts the tiles on the bathroom floor as a fresh wave of agony rears it’s ugly head, causing sweat to bead on his brow and harsh breaths to force their way through his clenched teeth.

He’s only managed to count thirteen tiles by the time Ponyboy returns with a cool cloth and a relieved expression.

“Darry’ll be here in twenty minutes,” Pony tells him, pressing the cloth against his burning neck. He can’t help but sigh at the feeling. It does nothing to dull the pain but offer something else to focus on, but for Johnny that’s enough, “he was almost done anyway but his forman let him go early since it’s an emergency.”

He bites his lip, and Johnny can tell he’s trying very hard to decide whether he’s going to say whatever it is he’s thinking.

“Dar…darry says he thinks you might have appendicitis,” he says at last. Huh,Johnny thinks, that kind of makes sense. With his luck, it’s not surprising his own organs have decided to mutiny against him. “He says he was worried about it yesterday but now he’s pretty sure. You’ll definitely need the hospital.”

At this point, if a hospital can make the pain even lessen, it’ll be worth it.

“Thanks Pony,” he leans his head against his best friend’s shoulder, too tired and too sick to do anything else.

Pony rests his own head on Johnny’s, long hair tickling Johnny’s cheek, until Darry bursts in in all his superman glory and takes control of the situation the way he always does.

Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain, but with a friend like Ponyboy Curtis to help him through it he doesn’t really mind.

[poemgyu]

gyuming ( gaming )

ㅡ genre: fluff

ㅡ pairing: bf!beomgyu x female reader (no pronouns used)

ㅡ tw: none (?) kissing but all fluff !

beomgyu and you decided to hang out today and you guys chose on gaming together. you both sat infront of the large tv to which the ps5 was connected to. “i bought a new game recently, wanna try it?”

beomgyu looks at you and you nod with a smile. he removes the cd from the case and places it inside the ps5. as the game is starting beomgyu runs to the kitchen to grab some snacks and you smile softly when he brings back all your favorites. he knows you too well.

once the game is loaded he teaches you the basic rules and controls of the game. after he explains everything you nod with a determined look, “i’ll show you how good I am gyu!!!” while your boyfriend just chuckles at you. you two play together and in the midst of a battle you suddenly forget which controls to use.

“w-wait! gyu noo!” you desperately call out to him so he wouldn’t beat you but beomgyu laughs, “not today baby!!”. and so you end up miserably losing to him. you sulk and beomgyu chuckles, finding you cute.

he makes his way behind you and places his hands on your small ones which were placed on the white ps5 controller. he guides you where to move and where not. “press the x button to shoot and triangle to sprint, okay? and make sure to remember that you can only sprint for 5-10 seconds because your stamina can get low”

but for you it was hard to focus on what he was saying. you couldn’t help but stare at him rather than the game that was being displayed on the tv. he was just so handsome. you heard nothing he said because you were already way too occupied admiring your attractive boyfriend.

“you understand?” he looks back at you and you cluelessly blink. beomgyu catches you staring at him and chuckles. he takes the controller from your hands and puts it down before lifting you up to place you on his lap.

his hands rest on the small of your back and he smiles at you. he tilts his head and leans closer. soon enough you feel his soft lips against yours. he kisses you softly and you follow, your hands gripping onto the material of his hoodie. he pulls away for a split second only to catch your lips once again.

this time you pull away to catch your breath but it seems like beomgyu can’t get enough of you. he cups your cheeks and places a long peck on your lips. he slowly pulls away, looking at you with a lovesick expression. you place a peck on his lips as well, followed by a small giggle.

“take a picture it’ll lost longer” he says smugly before pulling you closer to him from the material of his hoodie you were wearing, gaming long forgotten.

a/n: if you enjoyed please reblog rather than just liking ! thanks so much ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

[chaifootsteps]

College anon dropping in to say that the dubs aren't very good. Some, like the french one, sound like the text went through google translate (and the dubbing in general is terrible despite France having a good rep in the industry). The Italian version of Poison is low-key good tho

As for my reaction to Poison, imagine that gif of the happy yellow emoji looking traumatized/dead inside. I stared at the screen wondering what led me to watching this and how ANYONE would think this was a good scene. Vivziepop claiming that the leaks don't represent the full scene was right for once... It was so much worse. I could think of a more tasteful way to picture it in 5 seconds, it isn't that hard. She could have even kept most of the scene, just remove the graphic stuff to keep the suggestive dancing (a smart idea that should have remained subtle) and maybe keep the Val part à la Addict to show that, yeah, on top of "working" all night (because the graphic scenes made it obvious he stopped "enjoying" work early during the night), Val SA'd him and that shows the entirety of the hell he's going through. It explains why he breaks down and lashes out. Viv didn't need to keep most of the SA, the entire thing was implied.

Also episode 4 comes out of left field. Yes, it was foreshadowed since the beginning but why is Angel suddenly returning his calls? We SAW him ignore Val. He clearly HATES him. Since when is Husk calling him out and badgering him about being "fake"?? They've known each other for a WEEK. It's way too early for that. It's like we're missing 3-4 episodes of development in-between. Angel reconnecting with Val and showing hints that this is indeed a facade, Husk knowing a lot about everyone and giving a damn... This should be a mid-end of season arc for Angel. I'd personally make it end of season 1 so that he can show change during season 2, beginning as someone new, someone who slowly tries to show he cares and let down his bravado in small amounts, with clear hints of being a little scared of the reactions, until it naturally becomes his full-time persona. Maybe have Charlie notice at some point and subtly encourage him, DELIGHTED (in caps because that girl is extra) that Angel is getting better but having to keep her excitement in in fear of scaring him off (because Charlie should have SOME sort of emotional intelligence ffs).

Loser, Baby feels out of place. This is NOT the appropriate reaction to Angel's words. Did they rewrite the dialogue but not the song?? Here's how it sounds:

Angel: I feel like I've gotta be Val's perfect whore all the time so I'm trying to break myself enough he will be alone—

Husk: Well, it's okay to be a loser, baby! Look at me, I'm a failure too. You ain't special and it's okay!

....So Angel is a loser/failure/broken but Val is still into him??? Did they realize that this should send him the wrong message?! That Val will "love" him no matter what and that Angel cannot be free, that he's been making himself miserable for NOTHING?? First of all, Husk's greediness and addictions are NOTHING like Angel's situation. He signed with his real name. That alone implies that Val snatched him early on as he arrived. On top of that, he's being abused every way possible on the regular, for no fault of his own, and is self-destructing. He cannot kill himself and Val won't let him be killed. This is NOTHING like Husk losing a game for more power and being forced to be a bartender.

Here's how it should have gone for the song to work:

Angel: So?! The real me is a good for nothing loser who died in a ditch from some shitty coke! THIS is the famous, hotter than Hell pornstar that everyone wanna fuck! And I've— I've gotta be the part. 'Cause if I'm not... If I ain't then who am I?

Angel's fear should have been about being seen as who he was, as some loser that nobody loved. Let him feel like he beat his father, that now he's someone so suck it dad! You were wrong! Let Angel behave as if his life was a porn movie because that's all he knows now and what he thinks he should be like. Instead of trying to ruin himself so that Val discards him, have him try to be perfect... Because that'll stop the abuse, right? Val is happy when he acts like that. The perverts worship him. No one cares about Anthony.

That would make Loser, Baby work. It would achieve its goal of saying "it's okay to suck, we all do! Look at me, I'm a loser but my life isn't over!" and get Angel to accept that he's enough as he is. If you add in a few episodes beforehand to set it up, it could have worked better instead of being insensitive.

Personally I would have entirely changed the Angel/Val dynamic. Val can still be a whiny bitch but not in a drama queen way as is implied. He gets like that whenever he loses control of his favorite. Have one of the Vees groan and say something about Angel having done something as if it happened often. Make them used to Val throwing a fit because he didn't get what he wanted out of Angel or because he's having a jealousy fit. It already makes Val more controlling. It'll make the messages scene hit harder as, yeah, we can see why Angel left, the dude is unstable and obsessed. I'd be a little more fucked-up and have Angel kinda love him. Ofc in the Stockholm Syndrome way, he's been abused so much he's too attached to leave. That shift in dynamic would explain why he eventually goes back despite everything. Like in the show, he feels ignored in favor of the new resident and the way he's dismissed and talked about makes him feel like shit. He checks his phone again and ends up listening to Val's new voice messages... And this time, they're sickeningly sweet in a row. He's sorry, he's begging for him to come back. He loves him. And that's enough for Angel to go out or answer him. Put a few episodes in-between where Angel seems... Off? How weird, he's jumpy, more on his phone. He's out for parts of the episodes or clearly focused on something else. Then we get episode 4, where everyone culminates to show how bad the situation is for him. I'd personally not have Val hit him. He's smart enough to not leave bruises on his top whore. However, he's manipulative and threatening. There's no doubt that he COULD hit Angel whenever, especially with the way he cowers. Angel tries to diffuse the situation, so well that it's heartbreaking, and he gets bold. That line when he doesn't reply "Yes Val" is meant with silence as we wait for Val's reaction, waiting for him to blow up. A beat. He doesn't. He's not calm but he's not as angry. He's not going to hit him. He thanks Angel, touching him while the other flinches, a hint that he handles Angel roughly in this kind of situation, and just as Angel looks relieved, he announces that he'll have to work all night, distressing Angel again.

Ofc that would require extensive research and talk to specialists to do it well. Viv's audience can be stupid so it's more of a struggle to make it clear that none of this is Angel's fault and to not romantize this shit but it's more interesting than Val being so obviously abusive. IMHO he almost transformed into someone else in that episode and it could work but we didn't see enough of him to go "oh that's the old abuser trick! he's not as nice as he is with others when he's with his victim!". Idk how to put it sensibly but the impression he gave me was "whiny manchild who sadly was given enough power by Daddy Vox to abuse someone" instead of the intended "terrifying Overlord who is unstable and abusing his power to abuse whichever worker he fancies at the moment". I dunno Chai I just think it would work better if he were more manipulative and welding his power in other ways than by force. Like Angel isn't scared by his strength but by his influence. Also I would low-key find a way to make it so that Angel, mistakenly, thinks he can get away with some things to explain how he'd leave for the Hotel. Like having him not be a perfect victim. While he tries to cater to Val and keep him happy out of fear (and/or care because abuse fucks you up), he sometimes provokes him or tries to do his own thing. It'd show he's his own person and stuff. Sadly that would be lost on Viv's stans and it would absolutely spark some victim-shaming stuff or worse. But I think if she's gonna try to portray something like this, she could do with some nuance and not so... Cliché? Of course, it happens like this to too many people but it feels like she's applying a trope with no thought into it. The most cookie-cutter depiction she could do for quick satisfaction or to tick that case. A bit like how Stolitz is a mix of multiple tropes and is a terribly done version of that trope where a noble falls in love with someone whose class is lower with a sprinkle of badly done transactional relationship that sparks feelings. Thinking of HB, HH has better representation of abuse but not by much. I feel like if Stella was a man, she'd have written it this way? It felt like fetish fuel hiding underneath the surface whereas Stella was lazy writing.

I dunno man, I wanted to rant about Charlie and her design but episode 4 hit me like a wall of bricks

Thank you for all of this, College Anon. This was a great read, and you're right, the Italian version of Poison goes so much harder than the English.

Also Italian Val's voice is...yeah, 10/10 stars on that one. Mama mia.

[up-sideand-down]

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I love the hidden sort of coming of age stories in the storyline. Three characters are essentially children through a large chunk of the game and you get to see them grow up and inspire the adults around them. That felt super powerful to me as a kid.

The most obvious is Yuffie. Yuffie is a teenager. She feels shame at what she sees is her father's weak surrender to Wutai. She wanted to keep fighting and naively believed if she got powerful enough materia, she could do it and free her country. She hates ShinRa and criticizes Barret even as he expresses his shame in ever trusting ShinRa. All of these are things teens do. They think they're adults, they know everything, they lack the ability to empathize and see things from someone else's point of view. Yuffie just sees Barret's decision to get a mako reactor as a dumb decision, not a decision that, at the time, seemed like it would help people. She just wants to act!

But she grows, and it hurts. She robs her friends and allies. She betrays them because she must free Wutai. No matter the cost. They would see it in the end.

But she fails. Miserably. She gets rescued by people who are very much her enemy. She has to beg for forgiveness from her friends who should hate her. And somehow...they do forgive her. They let her back in. They even support her as she confronts her father, both physically and philosophically. And they come to an understanding. Her father gave up, yes, but he was trying to save lives. And it worked. But maybe now, if she does it right this time, they can work towards restoring their honor again. It gets buried under the annoyance of losing all your materia, but I really like this growth with Yuffie. Sure she sill tries to get all that Materia, but she grows. She doesn't just fight, she saves lives. She even saves Rufus ShinRa's life. She could have let him die, she probably really wanted to. But maybe...she was grown up enough to admit beating ShinRa was a moot point. It was time to start building. She started there. That's a tough feat as a teen, seeing when to admit you are wrong, and which fight actually matters.

A little less obvious is Nanaki. He hides his age so very well. He speaks eloquently (and in a deep voice in the remakes). He has knowledge of the planet the other's do not and he shares it. He very much acts like sage old man. But that mask slips. He makes snarky, biting remarks. He plays around in Costa Del Sol. The immaturity slips out.

Finally the mask fully falls away in Comso Canyon. Because he's safe. He no longer has to hide as Red XIII. He can be Nanaki again because Cosmo will always love, protect, and accept Nanaki. We can see the "old sage" facade was really him imitating Bugenhagen, his grandfather figure. He has a similar tale of shame to Yuffie. He repeats the tale about Seto and declares he's not a father at all. Bugenhagen has to lead him all the way to the truth for Nanaki to admit...he didn't know the truth at all. Then Nanaki sees Bugenhagen admit...he can't really tell if the planet will die. Bugenhagen doesn't know everything. And that makes it easy for Nanaki to agree to leave his safe haven again. He doesn't know the future, and he doesn't have to. He has to just trust in the people he has chosen to surround himself with. Most of all he has to trust himself. That's part of growing up. You have to trust yourself, that you can choose to do right and go with it.

The last is Cloud. Cloud is 21, but deep inside...he's still 16. I doubt 5 years in a secret lab did anything to mature his mind. Cloud spends almost the entire game pretending to be an adult. A lot of adulthood for Cloud is ignoring things that make him uncomfortable. Another good chunk is violence. He reacts violently to a lot of people, choosing fight over any kind of conversation. Maybe due to Sephiroth's influence, or maybe..because the conversation will hurt a lot more. Him finally facing his past is a very painful venture, but he does it and we finally see the real Cloud. We can finally put together what parts of the game were actually him and what was him playing pretend (or being puppeted).

By the end of the game Cloud is still wildly immature, but he is finally getting to grow. He has a lot of unhealthy habits and coping mechanisms to undo, but he finally faces the reason why: that chance to grow was forcibly taken from him due to no fault of his own. That is a very good reason, but it is still up to Cloud to finish growing up. He struggles and stumbles a lot. But he also faces flaws and forgives them. It's another very powerful lesson kids learn. You can't be perfect. You are going to make awful mistakes. You have to own up to it. You have to grow.

I don't know if this gets actually ignored, but these arcs in particular are what kept me in FF7. The kids.

[jamespottersmixtape]

september 6: heat 1,974 words @rosekiller-microfic

Barty and Evan finally go on a (not) date to the fair. They're so cute I hate them.

It isn't that Barty is nervous. No, very much the opposite. He's perfectly calm and composed about this whole ordeal.

He definitely hasn't spent the last 2 hours digging through his closet, panicking over what to wear on his date with Evan.

No.

Not a date.

Very much not a date, as he's struggling to remind himself. Just Evan, his friend Evan, who asked him to go to the local fair yesterday because, "It'll be fun!" he'd told Barty. "We can go on rides and eat fried food until we throw up next to someone's screaming kid."

And who was Barty to deny him that? Not when Evan's eyes had shone so brightly at the prospect, a lovely grin plastered on his freckled face.

The thing is, Barty knows this doesn't mean to Evan what it means to him. He knows this is just another way for them to fuck around and have fun for a night, which would be fine—amazing, even—if it weren't for the fact that Barty's practically been in love with him for the past 3 years.

Ever since they were 16 Barty's heart had raced a little faster and his cheeks flushed a little more whenever Evan got too close. It was inevitable that he fell for him—set in stone. Further and further, faster and faster each and every day.

But that's not important right now.

What is important is the harsh realization that Evan will be standing on Barty's doorstep in 5 minutes and he's just managed to get his shit together and pull on an outfit he deems acceptable.

He tries telling himself it doesn't matter what he's wearing. It's not like he'd be idiotic enough to try and impress Evan...maybe.

Maybe not.

Barty shoves on his best pair of shoes and grabs his wallet as fast as possible before wrenching open his front door to find Evan, his hand raised as if he were about to knock.

Barty's breath catches in his throat at the sight of him. Evan is wearing the forest green jumper Barty bought him for his last birthday and the dark hue brings out every strand of gold in his blonde hair. He looks fucking gorgeous.

Barty clears his throat. There's no time for this. "Beat you," he grins down at him.

"You were staring, B." Evan grins back, but his eyes hold a similar intensity that makes Barty's stomach squirm.

"Was not."

"It's okay, I know I'm pretty," he jokes.

"There was a bug in your hair."

Evan sighs. "Come on," he rolls his eyes and tugs Barty out of his flat by his shirt.

Barty doesn't miss the way Evan checks his hair in the car.

—

The fair is loud, is the first thing Barty notices when they finish paying for their tickets. There are children screaming and laughing, tired parents at their wits end, and a scatter of couples trying hard to win prizes at game booths. The lights are bright and colorful against the setting sun—it's all a lot to take in.

Barty looks over at Evan to find him grinning wildly, life and excitement clear in his wandering eyes, and decides then and there that he would do just about anything to keep that look on his face.

He nudges Evan with his shoulder. "What's first Ev?"

Evan shoots him a wicked smirk, his features sharp in the blinking lights yet soft in the glow of the sunset. He doesn't give Barty a response, just laces their fingers together and drags them towards the row of games.

Barty isn't sure what to do—isn't sure what he can do now that Evan's hand is clasped tightly around his own. Warm and steady, grounding him to the earth.

He doesn't want him to let go.

To Barty's delighted surprise, he doesn't.

Evan's hand soon becomes a comforting presence in his own, neither of them unlacing their fingers even as they try to pop balloons and play ring toss, Evan failing miserably as he attempts to utilize his non-dominant hand. They spin lucky wheels and manage to break the claw machine which earns them a dirty glare from a teenage employee who they quickly run away from, laughing loudly into the night.

At some point well after the sun has set and they'd gone on at least three ridiculously fast rides, Barty buys them a bag of cotton candy to share and Evan steers them to the ferris wheel.

"Didn't strike you for a ferris wheel kinda guy Ev," Barty muses, squeezing his hand lightly. Both their hands are getting a bit sweaty but Barty can't find it in himself to mind, he's enjoying this far too much.

Besides, if Evan wanted to let go he would've. Right?

"I dunno," Evan shrugs. "I thought it might be fun." He looks worried, Barty thinks as Evan's brows knit together, his bottom lip tugged between his teeth.

Barty nudges him with his elbow. "Hey." Evan looks up at him. "I never said it wouldn't be. Besides, I think I might actually fucking retch if we go on anything fast right now."

Evan laughs, his eyes crinkling in the corners. "I'd pay money to see that."

"Of course you would, asshole." Barty shoves a piece of cotton candy in his mouth before he can get another word out.

They board the ferris wheel in comfortable silence, their hands never parting, and it's only when they begin moving that Evan finally breaks the silence.

"I've been thinking..."

Barty turns his head to look at him, waiting for the end of his sentence that never seems to come. Evan's brows are creased again and Barty has the sudden urge to smooth out the wrinkle on his forehead.

Which, no.

He cannot do that.

"Hmm?" Barty urges, not wanting to push whatever is clearly plaguing him.

Evan huffs a soft laugh but it sounds strained, his smile tight. "Nothing, nothing. Forget it, B."

"You can't tell me to forget it, I wanna know now," Barty whines. He shifts in the small seat so his torso is facing Evan's, their knees knocking together. The ferris wheel continues to move slowly, stopping every now and then to allow the exchange of passengers.

"It's not a big deal or anything. I've just—well I've—been thinking about...us?" The last word comes out as a question but Barty has to run his sentence through his head a few times, not quite sure what to make of it.

Did he hear that correctly?

"Us?" he asks, his voice embarrassingly small in the quiet that comes from being up so high.

"I don't know, B," Evan runs a hand over his face. "Fuck how do people do this?"

Barty laughs, a little uneasily as his stomach twists itself inside out. "Do what?"

"Do..." but Evan doesn't finish his sentence. His eyes meet Barty's and he swears neither of them are breathing. They're stopped at the very top now, the stars blinking above them where they can barely be seen over man-made light. Evan's eyes are blown wide and his face is all soft shadows dancing over smooth skin, a blush creeping up the side of his neck as their entwined hands sit heavy in the silence between them.

Barty doesn't know how it happens. Really, he doesn't.

One second Barty's staring at him like a love-sick idiot and the next Evan's eyes are flicking to his mouth, so brief that Barty barely manages to register it when Evan's other hand cups his neck and smashes their lips together.

Barty's sure he releases a sound so loud and unmanly that it could be mistaken for someone's little sister. But his brain, it seems, is working infinitely slower than his body because he kisses back without hesitation, pulling Evan impossibly closer, needing him everywhere.

The heat of his mouth is tantalizing, intoxicating—he already can't get enough of him. All Barty can think is, why the fuck didn't I do this sooner.

It's the first time their hands have unlocked the entire evening as Evan's thread their way into Barty's hair, grappling for purchase in soft locks and tugging, earning a soft groan from Barty's throat.

Barty's roam freely over the expanse of Evan's back, pulling at the green fabric without mercy. He bites Evan's lower lip and takes the moment when he gasps to slip his tongue inside. His mouth is warm and he tastes like artificial sugar and Evan.

Evan, Evan, Evan, his brain seems to chant as their kiss grows hungrier.

Barty starts to mouth along his jaw, nipping at Evan's skin with his mind blissfully hazy. Evan has his head tilted towards the sky with his eyes closed—both of them hold no grasp on reality. It isn't until Evan gives a particularly violent tug on Barty's hair, the latter releasing a sound not fit for PG television, that the ferris wheel starts back up and they break apart.

They're both panting heavily, cheeks flushed and lips successfully kiss swollen. They look properly debauched.

"Fuck," is all that Barty manages.

"Good fuck or bad fuck?" Evan asks, his chest heaving. They're still clinging to each other tightly, their noses mere inches away.

Barty stares at him incredulously. "A good fuck, obviously," he responds, clearly not thinking about how that sounds.

It only takes less than five seconds of them staring at each other before they're both howling with laughter, falling into each other's arms in a familiar sort of comfort. Their bodies shake with their raucous behavior, nearly causing the seat to swing with them.

Their laughter dies out soon enough and Barty's left staring into Evan's eyes much like before. Except this time his head is a whirling mess of holy shit, I just kissed Evan. Evan kissed me. We kissed. We just fucking kissed. What does this—

Evan leans forward to press their lips together again. It's softer this time, gentle and tentative and everything the two of them aren't. The warmth that floods through Barty's chest causes his eyelids to flutter and breath to hitch. The kiss doesn't last very long, both of them pulling back simultaneously. Barty thinks he could've let it go on forever and he wouldn't have noticed.

"I've been wanting to do that forever," Evan says softly.

"What?" Barty asks lamely.

"Shut up."

"No, really, what? Cause I've wanted to do that forever, and—fucking hell Evan why didn't you tell me?" They're at the bottom of the ferris wheel now, getting ready to make their second round. Some people shoot them weird looks at their position but Barty really couldn't give less of a fuck.

Evan rolls his eyes, "I practically just told you."

"Fair enough." Barty shrugs, one hand reaching up to brush a piece of Evan's hair from his forehead. The gesture causes the prettiest blush to heat his cheeks. He traces his hand down the side of Evan's face to rest on his cheekbone, thumbing over the smattering of freckles. Barty can't help it when the words slip out. "You're beautiful Ev."

"Didn't know you were such a sap, Crouch." Evan's voice is low, husky yet smooth as silk.

Barty scoffs. "Now it's your turn to shut up," he teases, brushing over Evan's bottom lip. Every soft touch shoots off signals of electricity straight through Barty's veins, each one more heart-stopping than before. If Barty from three hours ago thought Evan Rosier would be the death of him, Barty of the present doesn't know what to expect.

They spend the rest of the ride making small comments here and there, Evan tucked carefully into Barty's side with heat seeping through their clothes to warm the other. Eventually Barty reaches out to weave their hands together again, fingers gripping tightly in the cooling night air.

This time, he doesn't think he'll ever let go.

[elsfairy]

GAMING with Sevika.

Reader & Sevika are just being chaotic. That's it.

• Sevika is definitely the more competitive one between you both.

• Will act like every game you play together pisses her off. Although she secretly enjoys winning, no matter what you chose to play.

• You're always trying your hardest to get her to play horror games with you, but to no use she never does.

• "I'm scarier, no can do Sweetheart"

• You always found it amusing whenever she would lose. Playing video games with a hot-headed girlfriend? amusing. She didn't like to lose. Even on something that wasn't even real.

• "You're laughing now, wait until I destroy you next round"

• The both of you have this habit of taking all the food from the kitchen, to the living room. Knowing damn well neither of you are moving until you win against her.

• Sometimes that could take hours. Sevika was very competitive and she found enjoyment in watching you pout and act like a brat.

• Would purposely lose, just so she could see your smile when you win. She loved your smile. It's beautiful.

• Sevika loves to annoy you when you're playing. She will nudge your shoulders, and mess up your hair. Goes the extra mile and tries sitting on you just so you lose.

• "Stop touching me! let me win at least once!"

• Adored when you became angry over a video game.

• Tells you constantly how she sucks at any video game. Yet somehow manages to fuck you over, and is winning every single thing you chose.

• It was something she did when you looked like you were about to lose your mind, but she would let you play alone while she either made you food or grabbed you a drink. Just so you could enjoy winning. She was the true Sweetheart.

• You'll both lose track of the time, and day the longer you game together.

• Like Sevika, you loved to piss her off. Smacking her with a pillow was something you did a lot, just so she wouldn't be able to focus on anything else.

• "You did that on purpose. You knew i was close to winning"

• Neither of you is going to bed at a 'normal' time. It's either 3am or 5am. Never before, maybe sometimes later than 5. It just depends on how competitive you're feeling.

• As much as she loves winning, she will help you. Even if that means playing a level or game for you, and giving you the win willingly. She loved you, so.

• Secretly she is an animal crossing player. It's relaxing okay, she needs something that isn't going to piss her off. Breaking her damn axe on the other hand will piss her off though.

• You, because you're a brat love to tease her about it.

• "I thought you would have liked something like, i don't know⎯ anything but that game"

• 100% denying any of your words, will act like that's completely false information and go on about her day.

• There were games that she played, which you sucked at, but she also sucked at some of the ones you enjoyed. You would teach her the ones you like and vice versa.

• Sevika is that gamer who's going to break something if she's too stressed. Most of the time, she's beating your poor pillows. Brat behaviour honestly.

• As much as the pair of you enjoyed playing, somewhere between the long hours of just staring at a screen will make you feel sick.

• She's going to make sure you're fine, getting you water and anything you need. That's just being a simp.

• Enjoys watching you just have fun.

• "Lean any closer and you're going to be in the TV, Sweetheart"

• Rubs your shoulder to relax you if she can tell you're the one getting stressed out.

• Literal heart eyes at her.

• If she's the only one playing any games, you'll curl up in her lap, just watching and enjoying her company.

• That always ends up failing miserably, because she's either shouting at the screen or accidentally bopping you on the head with her elbow, depending on how you're sitting on her.

• She's going to ruin someone's day if they talk shit to you.

• "Listen here you stupid fucking⎯ Oh, you sound like a child so this might look bad on my good image, but shut the fuck up"

• Gives you a nervous thumbs up.

• Still loves you deeply, even if you do beat her ass in some games.

this been sitting here for a while so, uh yeah. Gamer rage is very real, we all have it. I've broken at least one (or more) monitors before, but let's move on from that. enjoy ♡ 

[peemanne]

Yakuza 3 Review: Shining "Black Sheep"

Hey, it's Pee again. I actually finished writing the first draft of this AND my Yakuza 4 review months ago on my notebook, but I didn't get around to transcribing it digitally until now. Ended up rewriting a lot more than I was expecting haha

Also I still need to finish my 0 review but I'm a little caught up on making my 6 review first, since I'm kind of just dying to talk about it. Anyways, here's Yakuza 3. It's so cool.

This review contains MAJOR SPOILERS.

Reviewed on April 10, 2024. Last completed on March 5, 2023

Completed on PC (Remastered)

Rating: 8/10 (4 Stars)

Yakuza 3’s become something of a black sheep within the community. It might be because of the jump from Kiwami 2 or the lack of a proper port of the original 2, but a part of the community seems to be so adamant about bashing 3, usually because of the combat, the story, or some mix of both. That being said, I’ve noticed that we’re kind of backtracking from that, as more and more people come to praise and appreciate 3, some even calling it one of the best. Personally, I do find myself liking Yakuza 3 quite a bit, though there are definitely a few missteps that hold it back from really sitting there with the other greats in RGG’s catalogue. 

I just want to get one thing immediately out of the way as I get into the game’s combat: “Blockuza” is an overblown exaggeration. Kiryu has a lot of tools to get past something like that. With that being said though, Yakuza 3’s early game combat can feel a little miserable at times, especially with some egregiously bad boss fights like Tamashiro 1 and Rikiya. Once you grab the Komaki abilities though, it all really starts to open up for the player. Wall bounding with Kiryu’s moveset is fun, counterattacks like the Komaki Parry and Tiger Drop feel especially beefy in this entry, and 3’s engine allows for some neat off-the-ground tech if you know what you’re doing. While I don’t think it’s quite as satisfying as its predecessor Yakuza 2, Yakuza 3’s hits still feel hefty and impactful, with the aforementioned counterattacks being the big winners here. The sound design in the combat is still really solid, and I believe is something that usually goes underappreciated during discussions of this game’s combat (and in general, really). I also just wanna bring up the weird messed-up faces that appear after you use heat actions on the generic street goons. It’s very funny just how absolutely horrible they look after a fight, and it’s even funnier that this carries over to 4. One aspect that I do feel is a little lacking though is Kiryu’s damage in this entry. It’s weirdly lacking? And it’s not like bosses take too long, that’s not really my problem, but it makes heat actions feel oddly weightless despite the good animation work. Getting everything right for a heat action only for it to barely dent the poor soul you’re beating the snot out of just doesn’t feel the same. For comparison, Y4’s Kiryu feels like he does way more damage with his heat actions, and I think they feel better there because of it, which is interesting when you remember Y4 Kiryu is almost identical to his depiction in 3. Yakuza 3’s combat overall is pretty solid save for the early game. It’s far from the strongest this series has seen, but Kiryu’s moveset feels strong and is just pretty fun to mess around with. Props to Richardson for being the only actually enjoyable gun boss fight in the series. With that being said, please keep Lau Ka Long away from me. 

Yakuza 3’s story arguably has Kiryu at his best. He finally gets to breathe in between constant Tojo feuds with some dad slice-of-life stuff at the orphanage, and all of it is just so, so cute. It’s a little slow, sure, and that might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I found myself so charmed by it all. My heart melts seeing Kiryu, who’s gone through so much, get to be happy with his little scamps. The characters really come through here, the stars of course being the Ryudo family. Rikiya’s the brightest one, a fun companion throughout who both contrasts and bounces off of Kiryu well. Then there’s Nakahara and Saki, a sweet encapsulation of the game’s themes of fatherhood. And there’s the kids themselves, all distinct and fun to simply watch run around with their Uncle Kaz. My favorite one is Taichi because he’s awesome. 

The rest of the plot though, I’m a little mixed on. There are some genuinely great stuff here: Mine’s an amazing antagonist despite his small amount of screentime, seeing the Tojo so broken down after Kiryu’s shenanigans in 1&2 was interesting (the Nishikiyama family having KANDA as its patriarch is my favorite example of this), Majima’s characterized shockingly well, this game marking the start of him being taken more seriously, and Joji’s honestly a cool ass character despite being an asspull and a half. Unfortunately, Yakuza 3 has a few egregious mistakes that impede it from being an all-timer story for this series. For one, 3 falls victim to a lot of early writing habits that this series eventually broke out of over time. A lot of characters unjustly die for no good reason, Mine and Kashiwagi being the biggest offenders. It also has the big ol’ “Kiryu forgets to disarm the bad guy and said bad guy kills a valued ally” schtick, and it’s as infuriating as ever. Then there’s the “giant exposition dump” chapter, with Yakuza 3 having by far the worst case of it ever with Chapter 9: The Plot, which is almost entirely dedicated to Kiryu and Date sitting down and listening to some politician explain what the hell is even going on. Despite all of this, Yakuza 3’s story is still very enjoyable, and I think it’s very much worth it to endure all of its little shortcomings to appreciate its amazing characters, both new and returning faces. 

Side content is decently well-rounded for the most part in Y3. It introduced the series to Karaoke, for which we are all eternally grateful, of course. I really like the hostess songs in this entry, and it’s a shame that most of them don’t return for later games. 3 also has the hitman missions, which is a cool side-activity throughout. Additionally I hate Yakuza 3’s golf and everything it stands for Yakuza 3’s substories consist of a lot of filler substories where not much really happens, but the ones that stand out REALLY stand out. You have a really unique substory that spans from Chapter 9 until the finale in Murder at Cafe Alps, you have some silly gag substories like Kiryu having to cross the street with 2 massive ice-cream cones. You have substories that flesh out characters from the main story, like the amazing Dotting the Eye with Rikiya, and the sweet Date’s Pride substory. You can also have Kiryu say “H e y ,  s w e e t c h e e k s” in English, if you so please. I love it! 1-4 all have substories that occasionally use full-on cutscenes, and you can tell how much care they put into them. Yeah, it still has that annoying thing from other early games where you can flat-out fail a substory and lock you out of them, but still. Quality selection of substories. 

Lastly, 3’s soundtrack. I’m absolutely a sucker for this series’ soundtrack, so I’m not even going to pretend that I’m not biased. Yakuza 3’s music bridges the gap between the roughness and raw power of the original Yakuza 1 & 2’s almost grungelike style with the cleaner compositions of the later games, and I think it works out pretty well! You have your badass tracks like FM-Sound’s Storm, Bruise, and Hear this in the game. You have your intense, climactic songs like the fan-favorite Fly, the beautiful Lyricism Without Tears (which, as a bonus, gets one of the coolest track names this series has ever been graced with), and the underrated End Point. I find Yakuza 3’s OST isn’t really talked about all that much outside of the justified praise of Fly, which is a real shame, because there are some real quality tracks on display here. 

Yakuza 3 stands as a very solid game in its own right, even with a few annoyances bogging it down. I don’t think it deserved all of the unending slander it seems to receive. I love my dad Kiryu, I love seeing him hang out with his kids, and, despite all the bad, I still love this game. Also, Albert Wesker’s in it, and I think that’s pretty funny.

[zaddyazula]

gimme yakuza propaganda so i can see if i wanna peep it

🫡🫡🫡

well there are currently 9/11 main line games (i shall explain) and all of them are available on modern consoles (a lot of them came out on ps3 or ps4 originally).

there are two remakes, one for yakuza 1 (a ps2 game) and one for yakuza 2 (another ps2 game), called yakuza kiwami and yakuza kiwami 2. they are actually pretty good remakes from what i’ve seen, but i haven’t played the original two. this is why i said 9/11 main line games.

the total order goes (chronologically):

yakuza 0

yakuza (kiwami) 1

yakuza (kiwami) 2

yakuza 3

yakuza 4

yakuza 5

yakuza 6

yakuza 7/like a dragon

yakuza lad gaiden (the one that just came out)

they are all classic fighting games until 7, which is turn-based, i am still raging about that. gaiden isn’t though. also as you asked me about a while ago now, the guy with the spiky hair is the protagonist of 7 and he will be for 8, which is coming out january next year.

the main protagonist (table slam guy) is the or one of the protagonists in every other game (0 has two, 4 has 4, and 5 has 5).

women are written decently well, a lot, lot better than mgs, though there is about two main characters who are women per game 😭😭😭😭😭😭 not one of its strongest points but they all have clothes on!! the bare minimum we love to see it. (i will just say there is actually a fat woman who is a main-ish side character in 4, who is done pretty well!!! so hurrah!!!!)

characters are extremely well written and the writing is good for the most part, there are a couple of moments in earlier games (more 3,4 and 5) where you’re sort of shocked by how ridiculous it is, but it works decently well. i prefer the first couple of games, and then the 6+. there are a few spin-offs available in the west, being dead souls (zombie game), which is ps3 only, and lad:ishin, which is set in the 1860s (and a couple more others but i can’t think). the table slam man (kiryu) has actually started to remind me a lot of snake, and the series’ stories are actually quite similar.

talking about kiryu, he respects women!!! to the point where he refuses to ever hurt a woman, and has on many occasions beat someone up for hurting a woman. not to say he doesn’t have weird-ish female relationships, but they’re overall quite sweet and last for the game, and are then never touched upon again. they’re nowhere near a meryl-snake level catastrophe.

the games themselves aren’t too long for the most part, the longest i found being 5 (30 hours) and 7 (39 hours), but that’s including all the time fucking around doing karaoke or other things. 0 took me about 28 hours; kiwami 1 took about 22 hours (i think); kiwami 2 took me about 26 hours; 3 took 16 hours; 4 took 23 hours; 6 took 21 hours, and gaiden took 11 (it’s a lot shorter).

going back to karaoke - the amount of optional shit you can do is crazy. substories are probably the biggest thing with this, some of them being decently long and others being pretty short. they are usually quite fun and can give you a break from the story (which can at times be miserable). karaoke is probably my favourite mini-game in the series. you basically just press buttons with the right timing and it is ridiculously fun and silly. other mini-games are available, such as pool, bowling (in the earlier games), fishing, claw-machines, arcade games, DISCO (in 0 but it’s class), darts and probably some others but i can’t remember. the story can get a bit depressing, but it’s balanced out by the silliness the games also have, and surprisingly it works? in mgs, it sort of half works, you’ve got a monkey who smokes cigarettes and drinks coke and then the world is falling apart. war had changed. snake is old and dying and he cannot escape the world yet. and then johnny shits himself. comedy 👍 but with yakuza, the two different sides work together really well, especially in 0, and it ends up making sense eventually.

i think that’s it you have been yakuzer-propagandad!!!!

[apollotronica]

APOLLO CAN U TELL ME ABOUR ON E OF UR OCS.. i was thinkin about how hearing u talk ab them kinda inspired me to actually pick my projects back up and also i think they r sick as helll :3 pretty pleaase ? ./NF!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

OKAY SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY I WAS STUCK IN THE LABRYNTH (i couldnt decide which oc to talk about) BUT i relauzed i havent really talkrd about hiiro at all on here :3 EVERYTHING UNDER CUT and ill format it like i formatted the buwan post :3

this hiiro (left image most recent) ignore thr typology on the right its outdated

fun facts :3

likes: warm cloudy weather, bright lights, computers and technology, large cities, classic literature, anatomy and neurology, strong flavors, squid ink pasta

dislikes: most people, sunny days, manual labor, following orders, bland food, going outside, trains and train stations, getting wet

nationality: japanese

relatives: (adoptive) mother and father, elder sister (pacchi, 2 years older), younger sister (heru, 3 years younger)

early life (sort of???) (cw child injury/neglect, bullying, ableism?)

disclaimer i havent Fully fleshed out its backstory so this will just be a large summary of . stuff that Occured

hiiro and his sisters were put up for adoption almost immediately after heru was born (hiiro being 3, pacchi being 5) and they took turns taking care of her bcuz their parents were too "busy" to hire babysitters. hiiro and pacchi got into a fight while heru (like toddler age atp) tried to break them up. because hiiro has always been quick to anger and sort of physical, when heru tried to intervene his first instinct was to push her as hard as he could while yelling at her to stay out of it, it doesnt involve her . errmm aftermath of that argument was . heru got permenant brain damage and hiiro and pacchis relationship Completely broke apart :[ aww womp womp . Ok fast forward . heru is homeschooled by a tutor and hiiro and pacchi are both in junior high. pacchi is popular and friendly and pretty, but her grades are lacking . hiiro has always been incredibly smart (even though pacchi is 2 years older, he skipped a school year or two and is in her same year), but his social life is miserable . because of his temper and Overall Unfriendliness he was put in separate classes away from his peers where he was the only student under a teacher who didnt care about hiiro or Pretty much anything . it wasnt seen often but when he Was seen he was beat up n bullied relentlessly n followed home , so a lot of the time he spent nights hidden in the school or in damp alleys because he didnt want to lead anyone dangerous back to pacchi and heru . when he Was home pacchi ignored him and heru would try to make conversation but hiiro was Pretty much entirely nonverbal during their school years . at home hiiro drew and wrote and played like anyone else his age but bcuz hiiro looked different and sounded different and acted different it ended up outcast and alienated :[ womp womp

career ??

aaaanyway yada yada hiiro graduates early n basically disappears into researching neurology n brains n Specifically how theyre "programmed" , they end up lowkey kidnapping a couple people to experiment on them w a janky "neuroprogramming" device that, once hes sure is Safe To Use , hiiro uses on itself :3 the way proples brains show up on the device isnt like an mri or anything , the way it shoes up actually Depends on the person so sometimes itll be a short rpg or lines of code or Minesweeper and because hiiro Made the device they can decipher what each brain thing means and collects data based off that . but because what he does is Very illegal the government eventually tracks him down and forces it to work w them or theyll Krill him .

fun facts part Two :3

hiiro has only had alcohol Once and despite being of legal age they were kicked out for looking too young . he cant hold his liquor

he frequents a gaming cafe and knows all the staff by name but is too embarrassed to be seen in front of other people , so it rents out the whole cafe when it wants to go

hiiro has 3 cats and they are all Huge

after he Reappeared hiiro actually reconnected w his sisters and visits them as often as possible . Its not very affectionate at all though

i actually made his voice claim miyashita yuu . the songs where hes louder and yelling r more what i was thinking at the time , but i think miyayuu's soft speaking voice works as well

all the sleeves on their sweaters are slightly tethered and frayed because he fidgets with them while working . the right sleeve is more torn than the left

he doodles in his free time and has posted a couple oneshots on obscure manga forums . they dont keep up with them but one of them ended up getting really popular

hiiro Loves scifi . his entire apartment is decorated in super lame and obscure scifi anime posters and figures

THANKIES !!!