#miraculous humor

[not-eli]

Ml writers: You get a girlfriend, a loving father and whatever you want

Adrien: Can I get a decent breakfast?

Ml writer: It's enough we are letting you eating.

Adrien: ...

Ml writers: Don't push your luck.

[star-starters]

HER

[yeet-noir]

Chat Noir once he saw Dark Humor:

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Derision

Well, here we are. This is the episode you've all been waiting for me to cover. The one people claim is the cream of the crop when it comes to badness, not just for the insane amount of retcons and cases of character assassination, but for how it retroactively makes one of the most criticized parts of the entire show worse by comparison. If you've seen the episode, you know what I'm talking about.

Let's get into the fourteenth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Derision

We start off with Marinette waking up for the day before getting a call from Adrien, who gives one of the clunkiest pieces of exposition I've ever heard on this show, and that's saying something.

Adrien: I was just going to tell you how excited I am that we're meeting at the swimming pool later, and to wake you up just in case you were still sleeping.

Just as she hangs up, Marinette's hands start to tremble, having visions of a locker, hinting at some old memories resurfacing. Just to get this out of the way, but one thing I want to give this episode props for is the way these panic attacks are portrayed. The colors change, the environments warp around, and it gives off a very uneasy feeling. It kind of reminds me of this one episode of The Twilight Zone, “Little Girl Lost”, which used similar visuals to depict the otherworldly atmosphere of another dimension.

Marinette meets up with Adrien at the local pool, and has another panic attack. Kim and Ondine seem to notice this.

Kim: Woah, Adrien. That must've been some prank you pulled to make Marinette freak out like that. What did you do to her?

Ondine: It's not funny, Kim! Can't you see Marinette's not okay?

Kim: Oh, come on. She always reacts like that when someone pranks her.

Kim then proceeds to tell Adrien and Ondine (and by extension, the audience) about what he means. I'm going to talk a lot about this, so to make things easier for all of us, I'll give you the short version so you have an idea of what happened.

About a year before the events of “Origins”, we see Chloe was bullying Marinette even more than she did before then, constantly pulling sadistic pranks Megan from Drake & Josh would find to be overkill, while making her late to class. To make things worse, none of her teachers believed her and took Chloe's side all the time, giving her detention on the weekends. Mylene, Rose, and Juleka try to help Marinette, but apparently, Chloe orders them to not talk with her before saying that “she'll be there to make Marinette's life a nightmare”.

The only person with the common sense to help out Marinette is Socqueline, that girl from “Jubiliation”. Socqueline learns that Marinette has a crush on Kim, who is even more of a jerk than he was during the first half of Season 1, and when Marinette thinks about asking him out to the swimming pool after school, Socqueline advises Marinette to be careful. Sabrina tips off Chloe to Marinette's plan, so Chloe goes to give Kim advice to pull a prank on Marinette. At the pool, just as Marinette confesses her feelings to Kim, Kim gives her a box full of spiders, causing her to panic and fall backwards into the pool. Chloe films the thing with the intent to make it go viral, but Socqueline stops her plan before she can upload it. Kim doesn't seem to see what he did was wrong, seeing it as a harmless joke as Socqueline tells him to piss off.

It's here that Marinette determines that if she ever has feelings for a boy ever again, she'll need to be super prepared, explaining how much she knows about Adrien and his schedule in later episodes. Chloe then gets Socqueline expelled from school just a few weeks before the end of the school year. Marinette blames herself for what happened, but Socqueline tells her that sometimes, no matter how dire the odds seem, she needs to muster up the courage to fight the good fight.

Oh, and Marinette was almost akumatized by Monarch again, but it's really just an excuse to keep her away while Kim tells the story.

So... let's talk about this flashback. Clocking in at about ten minutes, almost half of the episode's runtime, this is easily the part everyone (myself included) seems to have problems with, for all kinds of reasons. Let's break down each and everything wrong with this flashback.

#1: The Portrayal of Chloe

Surprisingly, this is the least of my problems. Compared to Kim (who I'll get to later), Chloe is mostly in character with how she's usually portrayed by this point in the series. She's egotistical, she orders Sabrina around, she hates Marinette, and throws her father's name around over and over again like it's a boomerang. My feelings on the wasted opportunities with her character aside, this does make sense seeing how this takes place before Season 1.

But there's the problem. This takes place before Season 1, and Chloe does things she never did in Season 1, or any of the other seasons for that matter. She clearly has the teachers and principal doing what she wants, she can boss the other students around (which I'll also get to later), she pulls sadistic practical jokes on Marinette, and even uses her dad's name to get Socqueline expelled. In the show, she doesn't really do any of this. Sure, she can occasionally use her dad's influence to get what she wants (Lady Wifi, Rogercop, Frightningale, Determination), but it was never to this extent. While she also tried to act like she was better than the rest of her peers, barring Sabrina, nobody ever listened to her or took her seriously. Chloe also tended to focus on bullying Marinette, but she didn't do these kinds of practical jokes. Usually, it was either sabotage (Mr. Pigeon, Despair Bear, Gabriel Agreste) or just general name calling, and she picked on other students too (Dark Cupid, Reflekta, Antibug, Sole Crusher, Penalteam, Deflagration).

The point I'm trying to make is why the hell did Chloe stop acting this way? What caused her to stop being as bad as she is here? I get the whole point of this episode is to show how terrible Chloe is, but you're showing off all her bad moments in a flashback and never considering the other things she's done that would be just as effective. Wasn't the main idea behind Chloe's “damnation arc” that she started to change, but went back on her ways and became worse than before? If that's the case, I have to reiterate, why was she even worse in this flashback?

I also have an issue with making the cause of all of Marinette's trauma because of this prank by Chloe. Yes, the prank was terrible, and trust me this isn't me once again going “GRR! CHLOE STAN ANGRY BECAUSE RICH GIRL IS EVIL IN FLASHBACK!”. It's more along the lines of “Really? We're really doing this?”. While I'm glad that after Chloe's betrayal at the end of Season 3, the show is finally considering the idea of making her more than just comic relief as a villain, it feels like a case of too little, too late.

After so many years of making Chloe out to be harmless unless she screams her daddy's name, now you're treating her like a serious threat who traumatized Marinette for life? Chloe is the cause of Marinette's trauma? This is like if the person who killed Bruce Wayne's parents turned out to be a joke character like Egghead or Crazy Quilt. Just because a serious villain does something important to the story, it doesn't automatically make their prior unfunny antics go away.

But my main gripe with the portrayal of Chloe here is that this flashback fails to do something that still hasn't been done in almost five seasons and eight years: Explain just why Chloe hates Marinette so much. Chloe is unusually cruel here, and doesn't even have a reason to torture Marinette like this. Usually, Marinette gets in the way of what she wants, but here? Marinette doesn't do anything to warrant this level of dedication. You would think for a flashback sequence focusing on her and Marinette's history, they would actually explain why Chloe likes to single out Marinette, but they don't. The writers would rather take time out of the episode to remind the audience of why Chloe is the way she is, and why it isn't acceptable, than clarify what Chloe's deal with Marinette is.

Rose: She’s this way because her mother left her when she was young.

Mylene: So did mine, and you don't see me having fun bullying Marinette.

Gee, I wonder if Astruc himself had a part in writing that exchange or not.

If you're willing to acknowledge previous episodes while also discussing how poorly Chloe treats Marinette, it would help if you finally did something to inform the audience about why Chloe likes to torture Marinette in the first place. Did Marinette show Chloe up at a fashion show? Did Marinette impress Chloe's dad one time? Did Marinette just spill coffee on Chloe's shoes? I will take literally anything, no matter how stupid the explanation is, over getting nothing after eight years.

It's also pretty rich that that scene was trying to say that what happened to Chloe doesn't justify her actions when not only do we never get a scene like that pointing out how creepy Marinette obsesing over Adrien was, but later in the episode, Marinette specifically pins all the blame on Chloe in one line.

Marinette: Adrien! I know what's wrong with me! It's not my fault, and it's not your fault, either! It's all Chloe's fault!

So remember kids, just because bad things happen to you, it doesn't excuse your unflattering actions... except when it does, and in that case, it's all the fault of the person who wronged you in the first place.

#2: The Portrayal of Kim

I'll admit, I'm not really the biggest fan of Kim as a character. I don't hate him, but it feels like after Season 2, he just became that guy who really loves to swim, where even characters like Max, Marc, and Nathaniel had more depth to them. This episode however? Yeah, I couldn't stand Kim here.

Just like with Chloe, Kim is sort of in character as the same eccentric dude who has a habit of being insensitive and accidentally upsetting people (Animan, Syren), and I need to emphasize the “sort of”. Just like Chloe, this goes against his characterization in Season 1, where he was shown to be a bully like Chloe was (Lady Wifi, Timetagger, Origins) before later episodes made him a nicer person. However, unlike Chloe, the show sort of tries to retcon Kim's rude behavior to be more in line with his Season 5 self by portraying him as more of a bully who simply isn't aware of how harmful his jokes are, but it doesn't work because of how cruel he seems, and he doesn't have the excuse of knowing how terrible he is like Chloe does.

There's also how easily he goes along with Chloe's prank when she literally insults him and Marinette to his face.

Chloe: I heard Marinette asked you to go with her to the swimming pool.

Kim: Yeah, we’re going swimming together. Cool! 'Cause I love to swim!

Chloe: That’s not why she asked you, dummy!

Kim: It's not? Then, what are we going to do? Chloe: She wants to declare her feelings for you! Kim: For me? But why?

Chloe: Probably because she's utterly ridiculous, and so are you, which makes you two perfect for each other!

Kim: Oh? You think so?

There's not being aware of how insensitive of how you are to others, and then there's not being able to comprehend basic insults. Chloe doesn't even try to give Kim a backhanded compliment or secretly insult him (“You really like swimming, don't you? Good thing you can swim better than you do in class.”). She just calls him a dummy, and Kim still falls for her trick. If you want to have Kim fall for Chloe's plan, don't make her so obviously cruel. For God's sake, you're making the class in the Lila episodes look smart by comparison.

And even after retelling the story, Kim still thinks Chloe highly, not only saying how pretty she is right in front of his girlfriend, but he still thinks the joke was the funniest thing ever. After five seasons, Kim of all people should know about how mean Chloe is, given he was literally kidnapped and brainwashed into serving her while she sided with Hawkmoth (Miracle Queen).

The worst part is that Kim has nothing to do with this story at all. You could literally replace him with any other guy, even a nameless background character with no lines, and nothing would change. Hell, I'd argue it'd be even better as having Marinette be embarrassed in front of some rando would highlight the impact it had on her self-esteem when she tries to go after someone of a higher social class. It would also better justify the spider prank if someone else pulled it because “Darkblade” established that Kim was afraid of spiders.

And if you think I'm talking about Kim after this part, believe me, there's more to this schmuck than meets the eye.

#3: The Way Everyone Just... Lets This All Happen

Look, I get what the episode is trying to go for, narratively, and realistically. Sometimes, teachers and other authority figures just don't do their jobs when someone gets bullied. Hell, I was bullied for years by someone who liked to take advantage of my anger issues, and it wasn't until my last year of middle school that the faculty finally decided to do something about it. I also get that this entire flashback wouldn't happen if the teachers realized how cruel Chloe was and got her expelled. What I don't get is how the flashback portrays anyone who was there as unwilling to do anything to help.

First off, Marinette claims that the reason none of the teachers believed her was because they're all too afraid to stand up to Chloe, since she can call her dad and cost them their jobs, but that's far from the truth. The only time we see anyone actually being afraid of Chloe was when Mr. Damocles went back on refusing to expel Socqueline before Chloe threatened to call her dad and get him fired. Other than that, while we only see Ms. Mendeleiev and Mr. Damocles in this flashback, neither of them really show any signs of being afraid of Chloe. They just go along with what she says, and they don't even try to take Marinette's side. Just like Kim, this would be more understandable if these were different characters who were never shown to be this cruel to Marinette in earlier episodes.

Second, while I can sort of buy the teachers not caring about Marinette, the fact that her classmates don't do anything is another story. We saw Mylene, Rose, and Juleka trying to help Marinette, but right after they talk to her, Chloe just orders them to go away, and it's never explained why. Marinette said the teachers were afraid of Chloe, but does that mean the students are too? Again, later episodes would establish nobody takes Chloe seriously as a bully, so this part of the flashback makes no sense. What changed to make them stop being afraid of Chloe anyway? Once again, if these were a bunch of nameless characters who were more apathetic to Marinette's situation, that would make sense, retroactively showing how much Marinette's friends care for her. Instead, it's like that scene in RWBY where the main characters watch a student being bullied by a racist classmate, and all they do is say “Wow, racism really sucks, huh? Anyway, not our problem.”

Third, you're telling me that Marinette came up with multiple excuses not to go to school even with a few weeks left in the year, and Marinette's parents didn't see anything weird about it? They didn't think that something must be making Marinette want to do anything but go to school? I don't think they were even informed about the situation at school, unless you want to be generous and say they knew Marinette got detention. You can't even make the excuse that it would work if these were different characters, but these are Marinette's parents. You know, the same characters the show portrays as loving and affectionate to their daughter? You're telling me they didn't even think to look into the situation, much less talk to Marinette about school?

The problem with all the other characters in this flashback is in order to make what happens possible, they have to be as apathetic as possible. There's being unaware of a situation or being too afraid to stand up (which is unfortunately something that happens when people bullied sometimes), and then there's just not caring about the bully victim at all. It's ironic how even though a big part of the flashback was to show how awful Chloe was, it unintentionally make everyone else in Marinette's life seem just as cruel to let her suffer like that.

But I know what you're thinking. “What about Socqueline? She was there to help Marinette, so why didn't you mention her?” Well...

#4: Where the Hell Has Socqueline Been All This Time?

Like I mentioned in my “Jubilation” review, Socqueline is yet another unnecessary addition to the already overcrowded cast of characters in this show, and it seemed like this episode was meant to justify her inclusion, but it only raised more questions.

Just to remind you, this flashback establishes that Marinette was constantly bullied by Chloe until a nice girl in glasses stood up for her, and inspired Marinette to be more confident.

SOUND FAMILIAR?

Yeah, this flashback is pretty much the same as Marinette's arc in “Origins” was, only with Socqueline in Alya's place. We get it, writers, Season 1 was good. Constantly repeating stuff like what happened in “Mr. Pigeon 72” isn't going to win you any favors.

This really highlights how pointless of a character Socqueline is, as despite supposedly being a really important person in Marinette's life, Marinette herself never thought to tell anyone about her, and judging from how Marinette described her to Tikki in “Jubilation”, I don't think she even stayed in contact with Socqueline after she was expelled. It's not like left Paris afterwards. All we know is that she went to another school and got a job at a local arts and crafts store, so why did Marinette just stop talking with her? Even with Felix and Zoe, they had the excuse of being in different countries, but you can't say that with Socqueline.

Also, this was something I just realized, but if Mr. Damocles got her expelled, why the hell did Socqueline treat him like he was any other customer at her job, much less compliment him as a principal?

#5: The Handling of Trauma in General, and How This Impacts Marinette as a Character

Like pretty much every other serious issue it tries to tackle, Miraculous Ladybug has always had a poor understanding of mental health. When it comes to portraying characters who struggle with some form of grief of trauma, like Adrien, Felix, Chloe, Zoe, and even Marinette, the responses usually amount to some variation of “Grow a pair and get over it, you big baby!”.

With Felix, Chloe, and Marinette, even if their actions are partially motivated as a response to either losing a loved one, trying to emulate their neglectful parent, or as a defense mechanism to avoid repeating an already traumatic experience, they're all proven to be in the wrong, and it's not to teach a lesson about alternative coping mechanisms or support systems. The show just says that they're automatically wrong for what they do, what causes them to act the way they do is never acknowledged, and instead, we're supposed to just act like they're being jerks for no reason. Compare this to Adrien and Zoe, who both had rough lives losing their mother at a young age or living with an abusive mother respectively, and rather than go into detail how it affected them or how they managed to become decent human beings in spite of it, the show just says that they're nice people, so people like Felix, Chloe, and Marinette have no reason to be mean to others.

This is honestly why I feel like this episode's depiction of mental health and dealing with trauma falls flat. In case you didn't know, I asked my followers who had to deal with some form of trauma to share their experiences and how it compared to what Marinette went through in the episode. For the most part, the common consensus seems to be that while the symptoms of Marinette's trauma and her reactions to it are very believable, a lot of it is contradicted by previous episodes, and it seems like it was only there to do a story about dealing with trauma.

So many episodes across Seasons 1 through 4 show Marinette dealing with Kim and Chloe without really any issue, and she showed no problem with starting relationships with Luka and Cat Noir, to say nothing about Nathaniel's brief crush on her in “The Evillustrator”. If Marinette was so traumatized by this prank, why did she want to go swimming in episodes like “Gorizilla” and “Mr. Pigeon 72”? Why did she bother to help Kim confess to Chloe in “Dark Cupid”? Why did she team up with Chloe to sabotage Kagami in “Animaestro”? Why did she suggest Chloe could change for the better throughout Seasons 2 and 3? Why did she continue to let Chloe and Kim use the Bee and Monkey Miraculous respectively, even after they got them from outside sources? This flashback is desperately trying to tie previous events of the series together together, but it only works if you ignore all the times Marinette has interacted with Kim and Chloe without having a panic attack.

Then there's how the flashback tries to connect this to Marinette memorizing all of Adrien's schedule to make sure he won't hurt her, an obvious attempt to rebuff one of the biggest criticisms of her as a character. Here's why it doesn't work.

First off, the setup doesn't work because while Marinette vows to do a better job getting to know the next person she falls in love with and how, in her words mind you, “He isn't friends with Chloe”. Putting aside the kindness he's shown her in “Origins”, she kind of failed to really consider her choice to pursue him if he stayed friends with Chloe if we're going to believe Chloe traumatized Marinette so much.

It also doesn't really explain the more predatory actions Marinette has taken whenever another girl tries to get close to Adrien (The Bubbler, Volpina, Animaestro, Oni-Chan, Heart Hunter), or how she tries to rig up situations to get closer to him (The Gamer, Gigantitan, Backwarder, Party Crasher, Felix, Psycomedian, Glaciator 2, Simpleman). And that's not even getting into how obsessive she is with him in other areas, like repeatedly playing a commercial he was in (Gorizilla), making a bunch of presents for him in advance (Christmaster), trying to kiss a wax statue of him (The Puppeteer 2), sniffing his pillow (Cat Blanc), or all the other times she's creepily obsessed over him.

But of course, you've probably noticed that I've forgotten to mention one key thing about what this flashback means: You know how Marinette tends to act nervously and stumbles a lot around Adrien when she isn't meticulously documenting his schedule? Yeah, they were essentially panic attacks brought on by her PTSD, and the episode tries to act like Kim did to her wasn't funny afterwards. Here's the problem with this.

YOU MADE MARINETTE'S TRAUMA YOUR PRIMARY SOURCE OF COMEDY FOR THE PAST FIVE FUCKING SEASONS!

You do NOT have the right to act like what happened to Marinette was bad when you were constantly playing her anxiety up for laughs for almost EIGHT YEARS at this point!

In addition to all the other examples I mentioned, we had episodes like “Psycomedian”, which confirmed that the same behavior that this episode is trying to say is connected to her trauma was hilarious to Adrien, as well as “Backwarder”, which thrived on playing up Marinette's anxiety towards Adrien and was said to be one of the funniest episodes of the show to work on by Astruc himself.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

#6: Why This Flashback Is Ultimately Pointless

But above all, the biggest problem I have with this flashback is because of how pointless it is. It's trying to better go into detail about why Marinette acts the way she does around Adrien, but did we really need to do that?

This flashback doesn't really reveal anything that we didn't know already. We know Marinette was bullied by Chloe, we know she was a lot more meek and needed others to stand up for her, and we definitely know that we're not supposed to like Chloe. Adding to my earlier point, if we actually got more insight into the origin of Chloe's obsession with Marinette, that would have at least made this flashback important to watch, but once again, despite being a flashback episode, we learn nothing about the characters that we don't already know.

But this flashback is also meant to explain why Marinette is so hesitant to embrace her new relationship with Adrien when we already got a reason for that last season. The first half of the season has made a big deal about how much her feelings for Adrien cost her the Miraculous, so why not focus on that? This flashback just feels like it's here to give more Marinette angst instead of focusing on the things they've already established. And that's not even getting into what she saw during “Cat Blanc”.

Why couldn't we just have a story about Marinette's own insecurities causing her to doubt she can make her relationship with Adrien work, seeing how poorly things ended with Luka? Have her worry that something could go wrong as a result of her need to overcompensate, or worry that Adrien could betray her. That way, you could have Adrien supporting Marinette in a way that reflects their partnership as Cat Noir and Ladybug respectively.

But no. Instead we have this flashback that's taken me about ten pages to fully dissect. And the worst part is that I still have the rest of the episode to talk about. God help me...

So after Adrien and Ondine explain how this prank could have done a lot of damage to Marinette's psyche, Kim decides to find Marinette, and apologize for being so—Ah, I'm just messing with you guys. After all, that would actually make Kim likable. So what does he say instead?

Kim: Come on! Loosen up, you guys! It's like you can't even speak your mind these days.

Ondine: That doesn't give you permission to hurt other people!

Kim: Whatever! I'm the way I am and I'm fine that way! It's not my fault you guys have no sense of humor!

Yep, rather than having Kim realize the error of his ways and maybe be akumatized out of guilt, Kim just whines about how everyone else is just a humorless pansy these days. The writers pretty much made Kim's motivation boil down to “It's just a prank, bro!”. Even Monarch seems to go along with this, as he refers to Kim as “A free spirit feeling unjustly rejected”, when this was right after he called Chloe the prettiest girl in front of his own girlfriend's face. So Monarch sends his Akuma to Kim's goggles, akumatizing him into Dark Humor. Yes, that's really the name they're going with.

Dark Humor is a pretty forgettable recolor of Dark Cupid. Other than inverting the red and black color scheme and giving him a targeting scope on his right eye, there's not much else to say other than the incredibly on the nose name they gave him. His powers are sort of like Dark Cupid's, only now, instead of turning people heartless, they now share his soulless brand of “humor”. At least, I think it is. His Alliance power is the Monkey Miraculous's Uproar, but it's not really clarified if he's only using Uproar arrows or not, judging from the use of the rubber ducky that we've seen King Monkey use before.

Marinette and Adrien transform into Ladybug and Cat Noir respectively, but once they meet up, we get the most controversial part of the episode that isn't connected to the flashback scene: Cat Noir gives Dark Humor the beatdown of his life and is about to Cataclysm him, for pulling a bad prank on Marinette a year ago. Yeah, a lot of people have pointed out that Adrien felt a lot of remorse for Cataclysming Monarch earlier in this season, yet here, Cat Noir looks like someone told him that Kim just shot the Pope. For God's sake, writers, you're five seasons in! How hard is it to determine whether or not you want your hero to be okay with killing people or not?

And of course, this bites him in the ass, as Dark Humor stabs Cat Noir with an arrow, not only changing his Cataclysm into something that creates a bunch of balls from his hand, but also making him just as insane as the rest of Dark Humor's victims. You know, I'm this close to starting a “Remember Season 1” counter, because this is just glorified fanservice.

Ladybug tries to summon her Lucky Charm, but is stopped by Dark Humor, so Ladybug transforms back into Marinette, transforms into Ladybug again, and summons her Lucky Charm for real this time, getting... a toilet. Of course, the only way to combat Dark Humor's bad jokes is by using even worse jokes! Genius! Ladybug places the toilet over Dark Humor's head and breaks it along with the goggles, freeing the Akuma.

Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma, uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, gives Kim a useless Magical Charm, and Cat Noir apologizes for murdering Kim by saying his emotions got the better of him, which is like saying OJ Simpson and his wife had a minor disagreement.

Kim apologizes to Marinette for traumatizing her, and I guess that's enough for Ondine to forgive him for saying another girl is prettier than her.

After Marinette sort of explains what happened to Adrien, he goes over to tell Chloe to apologize, and we get... this scene.

Adrien: I know about everything that you did to Marinette last year, Chloe. You're going to go and apologize to her and prove to everyone that you can change. I'm sure she'll forgive you.

Chloe: (laughs) Forgive me? What do I care about her forgiveness? I couldn't care less about Dupain-Cheng's feelings! She and the likes of her only exist to suffer for my entertainment. Why bother having power if you can’t use it against those who don’t have any? You’re the one who’s getting things wrong, with your baker girl! You’re a prince! You belong with me, the princess! You’re in this world to shine! To make fun of all the losers who are only good enough to be used as doormats!

Adrien: You're nothing like a princess, Chloe. I supported you. I gave you multiple chances to become a better person. Everyone reached out to you, including Ladybug and Cat Noir when they gave you the Miraculous of the Bee again. But all you ever think about is yourself.

Chloe: And what else IS there to think about? Losers and nobodies? The little bees? The planet?

Adrien: We will never be friends again, Chloe. You and I are done.

Chloe: Traitor.

Okay, first off, “She and the likes of her only exist to suffer for my entertainment.”? That's the line you're going with? She sounds like a dark lord in an RPG game. How is this the closest thing we ever get to an explanation to why Chloe hates Marinette so much?

Second, ignoring the fact that we already had Chloe end her friendship with Adrien last season (Queen Banana), it's pretty weird that this is the breaking point in their friendship. Adrien doesn't mention all the other times she's bullied people or when she sided with Hawkmoth even when he brought up her time as Queen Bee. He saw her being mean to so many people over five seasons, yet only when he learns Chloe did something to his girlfriend that he decides to finally confront her. If we at least got a line where Adrien acknowledged that he essentially enabled Chloe for so long by thinking she could change, that would have at least sort of worked. Instead, he makes it about how she refused to change herself. Dude, you had the chance to stand up to her for years, and you even did so in one episode before you went back on it (Despair Bear). You have nobody to blame but yourself.

Finally, Chloe is pretty out of character here. She's way too calm about ending her friendship with Adrien compared to what happened in “Despair Bear” and “Queen Banana”. You'd think if the writers wanted this to be a big moment of catharsis for the audience, Chloe would at least beg Adrien to stay a little. But no, Chloe brushes it off when it could easily justify her getting worse in later episodes, and even Adrien doesn't even consider how much he thought Chloe's friendship meant to him. Because these writers are dedicated to making sure that any identifiable trait Chloe once had is removed so you have no choice but to hate her.

But hey, at least the episode's over. What did I think of it?

Yeah, it wasn't very good.

I just... what else do you even want me to say here? I spent about ten pages going over why the flashback sequence doesn't work, I've already ranted about Cat Noir trying to kill someone with his Cataclysm in previous episodes (Hack-San, Jubilation), and I think you all know what my feelings on the portrayal of Chloe and Kim are.

I guess I can answer one question you may have: Is this episode worse than either “Penalteam” or “Queen Banana”? Eh, not really. Let me explain.

The problems with “Queen Banana” and “Penalteam” went beyond the treatment of Chloe with the way the stories were handled, with “Queen Banana” being a cheap jab at critics and TV executives while propping up their new character Zoe, and “Penalteam” being an excuse to have a soccer episode while making Cat Noir look like a buffoon right before the finale. Most of the problems with this episode have more to do with how they affect the way we see previous episodes, and why some scenes that were already unfunny are even less funny now.

With this episode, you can at least tell there was some effort being made to tell a more serious story here that went into what made Marinette tick. Yeah, it and the themes of mental health and trauma were handled about as gracefully as a ballet dancer trying to get a bear trap off their leg, but there's at least an attempt here.

Of course, this episode is still awful. The conflict with Kim not getting how much of a jerk he was after a year was dumb (as was him being even more of a jerk as Dark Humor), the fact that Marinette's trauma seemed to come and go when the plot needed it to really showed off how forced it is, and it only ends with you having more questions about Marinette and Chloe's rivalry rather than answering them.

While I'm still not a fan of this episode, and would still place it in my top five least favorites, I don't think it's the absolute worst. Although it's still the worst one so far this season from a technical standpoint.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS...KIM

It says a lot when Cat Noir actually tried to murder someone in this episode, yet not only is he not even considered for the award this episode, the person he tried to kill ends up being the bigger idiot. Not only did he easily fall for Chloe's plan when she insulted him to his face, he failed to understand how it affected Marinette for a year, and when he was told about how bad it was, he refused to take responsibility for his actions, blamed it on other people not being able to take a joke, and only gave the smallest apology after he was almost killed for his attitude. It's honestly funny how he somehow comes across as more unlikable than Chloe, the character this episode was made to make you hate even more.

[monpetitchattriste]

They are my new personality

[felixagrestefanlol]

Chat Noir went to bother her for a moment, and the first thing he saw was her flirting with photos of Felix (Chat Noir was completely disturbed XD)

[asukiess]

sometimes I still can't believe this is a real scene from baby show miraculous ladybug. please please please never change.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 23

Jaskier wishes on dandelions every time he sees one. He wishes for inspiration, his hair to look nice during this next performance, his rivals to lose, Geralt to be unwounded in his next fight, he wishes, he wishes, and he wishes. One day, he wishes that Geralt would love him back. When Geralt starts being nicer to him in what Jaskier can only assume is his awkward attempts at flirting, Jaskier begins panicking over the possibility his wish came true and he unintentionally brainwashed his friend into feeling romantic feelings for him. Geralt, meanwhile, is wondering why Jaskier has flirted with him for a decade at the least but suddenly seems so confused at Geralt's courting attempts.

[knifedancer]

Not Dating

Day by day, one by one, Marinette’s classmates noticed that the young designer had gotten closer to Felix. Close enough to be considered dating. Finally, the entire class is convinced that the two ARE dating.

The only problem is that Felix nor Marinette seem to know about it.

Felix (PV) x Marinette, posted to AO3.

~~~~~~~

~~~SCENE 1: Lila~~~

Lila was walking down a shopping district when she caught sight of her favorite victim—er, classmate eating at a nearby café. Carefully maneuvering around the outdoor patio in a way so that she would not be seen, she noticed that Marinette was not alone… Across from her sat the snobbish cousin of Adrien’s: Felix Graham-Agreste. The Italian narrowed her eyes as she took in their chummy atmosphere. ‘When did they get so close?’

“Oh my gosh, Marinette! What a coincidence!” The liar called out as she exited her hiding spot.

The designer’s countenance darkened a bit as the liar approached, her voice dropping into a flat irritated tone. “Lila.” The snake’s eyes gleamed with a cruel light, her smile becoming a bit sharper.

“What do you want, Rossi?” Came the exasperated, blunt voice of her pale blond companion. Rude.

“What? Can’t I say hello to my classmates? I stop by this café all the time; the owner is like a father to me. I highly recommend the pasta!”

“It’s a boba café, they don’t sell pasta!” Cried the exasperated class president.

“Well, it’s on the secret men—”

“Hi, order number 42?” A waiter interrupted, pointing to the little plastic table number resting beside Felix’s elbow. “Who had the honeydew milk tea?” Marinette raised her hand and he set it before her. “And one matcha milk tea for the gentleman. Please enjoy.”

The two teens stared down Lila as the waiter left two straws and returned to his post inside to take orders. She scoffed as she sauntered away, pretending to look over the posted menu while spying on the pair. ‘Perhaps I can get something good to lie about at school tomorrow…’ she thought, watching them from the corner of her eye.

“Mm, this honeydew is delicious!” The bluenette remarked while sipping happily on her drink.

“Let me try,” Lila watched as Felix grabbed the drink right out of Marinette’s hands.

“Hey! Don’t steal all my tapioca pearls, jerk!”

The blond brought the same straw to his lips to take a sip. “Hmm, you’re right, not too sweet.” The designer’s scowl transformed into a smug smile as he set the glass back down in front of her, continuing to enjoy her drink without a second thought.

‘Did they just…indirectly kiss?! Oh my, talk about juicy gossip!’ Lila’s lips curled into a wicked smile; she couldn’t wait to twist this into a new story tomorrow!

~~~ The next day…

“You’ll never believe this, girls. Marinette was on a date with Felix!” Lila sobbed, “After I told her how much I liked him, too!”

“Aw, Lila…I’m sure that’s not what it was,” Mylene comforted the girl.

“I saw it! They were all lovey-dovey, sharing a drink—” The liar attempted.

“Girl, are you sure that your lying disease isn’t acting up again?” Alya asked skeptically as Lila tensed. “I mean…Marinette and Felix? Pfft, that’d never happen!”

“Does seem rather far-fetched,” murmured Juleka in agreement.

“But I really saw—" she tried again in vain.

“Shh, it’s okay. Why don’t you tell us more about your recent trip to Achu instead, Lila?” Rose begged the flabbergasted liar.

~~~SCENE 2: Adrien~~~

It was Saturday and the teen heartthrob of Paris had just finished a photoshoot early. Nathalie had even agreed to let him enjoy a little free time! ‘Too bad Nino is busy with Alya today,’ he thought glumly as he looked around the park. Spying his favorite designer’s balcony in the distance brought a smile to his face once again. ‘Maybe Marinette would want to play some UMS III!’ Destination set, Adrien began crossing the park at a leisurely pace, enjoying the sun and the breeze on such a pleasant day.

He watched as kids chased each other through the park, vendors sold balloons and treats, and friends picnicked on checkered blankets. The model smiled as his roaming eyes noted happy couples – like the two giggling college students holding hands as they walked, Marinette and Felix lounging under a tree, the young man chasing—WAIT. Marinette and Felix were what?

Adrien’s eyes locked back onto the pair beneath the tree in disbelief. Felix was sitting with his back against the trunk while reading the book he held in one hand. Sprawled out between his knees was a slumbering bluenette, her sketchpad forgotten on her lap while her fingers still twitched with the pencil between the digits. Her body was slumped slightly to the right, her head lazily resting against his cousin’s chest. Dumbstruck, he continued to stare as Felix brought his free hand up to turn the page before returning it back to its original place, his silver ring gleaming in a wayward sunbeam as his fingers idly played with one of Marinette’s pigtails.

They looked…comfortable. Closer than he remembered them being.

Marinette seemed to stir, her eyes squinting slightly against the sunlight before she began to shift. The blond’s hand extracted itself from her hair, his eyes falling away from those crisp white pages to gaze down at the girl in his lap. The bluenette resettled on her left side, half curled against his chest and readily fell back to sleep. With unbridled fascination, Adrien watched a soft smile spread across Felix’s face before his hand cupped around her cheek to gently play with the short hairs that curled in front of her ears. His smile never wavered as his eyes returned back to the book in his other hand as if the whole exchange had never happened.

Felix looked…happy and, perhaps, in love?

‘Are they…dating?’ The model’s brow scrunched in thought, considering the whole exchange as he quietly walked in the opposite direction. ‘Good for them. I should congratulate them at school tomorrow!’

‘Maybe Luka is available for a jam session,’ Adrien pulled out his phone to call the older boy.

~~~SCENE 3: Adrien and Alix~~~

After school the next day, while waiting for his ride, Adrien flagged down his cousin coming down the stairs. Felix gave his usual short greeting before expectantly looking at him. Noting they didn’t have much time to spare, he decided to cut to the chase.

“I noticed you and Marinette have gotten rather close recently,” Adrien smiled warmly.

“Yes, she’s been very welcoming and warm. She grows on you, much like a fungus,” the snobbish blond replied while his eyes drifted towards the entry way as if looking for someone.

“Come on, Fe! You don’t need to be so obtuse. She’s really special, isn’t she?” The model raised his eyebrows, attempting to put a heavier meaning behind his words. All he got was a distracted, affirmative hum in reply. Settling a hand on his cousin’s shoulder, his grey eyes shifted back to Adrien. The model looked directly into Felix’s eyes with a bright smile, “I just wanted to tell you that I’m really happy for you two!”

His cousin’s face scrunched up in confusion but, before he could question the green eye blond, his attention was captured by a shriek coming from the stairs behind them. Felix turned just in time to catch a flying bluenette against his chest with an “oof!” before she could hit the ground.

Alix jumped down from the top step and swooped around them in her skates, looking frantic. “Oh my gods, Mari! I’m so sorry, I thought you saw me coming. Are you okay?”

“Kubdel, what the hell were you thinking? You know Marinette has her head in the clouds 80% of the time!” Felix scolded the pink haired girl while setting the young designer down on her feet, keeping her in the protective ring of his arms. Turning to her, his tone became a tender and worried murmur, “Are you alright, princess?”

“I’m purrfectly fine, she didn’t mean to bump into me! Besides,” Alix and Adrien watched as her smile turned fond, “you caught me before I could get hurt. My hero.” She pretended to swoon and, although Felix scowled, his eyes remained soft. They watched as he took her bag from her shoulder and then grabbed her hand. Neither classmate missed how the grey eyed boy threaded his fingers through hers.

“You’re likely to fall over if I don’t hold onto you. Let’s get you home in one piece, shall we?” He nodded to the two as he led Marinette away, the unlikely duo murmuring to themselves – smiling and laughing as if in their own little world.

“Are those two dating?” Alix inquired with obvious confusion.

“Yup, I saw them cuddling in the park over the weekend. I was pretty surprised but I’m happy for them. I think she’s good for him,” Adrien grinned.

“Huh. I always thought she’d end up with you,” the pink haired girl shrugged and skated away from the now blushing blond.

“Wait, what?!”

~~~SCENE 4: Amelie~~~

The Graham-Agreste family didn’t travel outside of Paris much these days but, when they did, it was usually for a week at a time. Amelie had warned her son about the impending trip to visit a business contact in Greece and he seemed less than thrilled. She suspected it had something to do with the sweet classmate he had been spending so much free time with. She wasn’t blind but pretended to be whenever Felix’s face softened and an unconscious smile spread on his face when he would receive a text from her. She even had her own ringtone! And today? Why, Amelie was in for quite the treat because that very classmate appeared at their door just a few hours ago to help Felix pack for his trip.

She didn’t miss the chance to remind her teenage son to leave his door open as she didn’t wish to be a grandmother…yet. Nor did she miss both turning bright red at the implication of her words.

Amelie had checked a few times – while walking down the hallway, she didn’t want to cramp his style – and noted that he had left the door ajar as requested. This allowed her to catch snippets of their muffled conversation and laughter in passing. Not that she was trying to eavesdrop, but those joyful sounds made her so happy. It made her heart swell that Felix had finally found someone he could relax and be himself with! Her grumpy little man had made a friend – a girl friend no less – and Amelie was over the moon!

‘Come to think of it, it has been a while and they are awful quiet…’ she internally mused. ‘Better go check on them.’

The older blond set down her crossword and headed upstairs, approaching the bedroom door as quietly as she could. She heard nothing as she paused outside the door. Curiosity getting the better of her, she pushed the door open soundlessly. She had to bite her lip to stop from cooing over what she found!

Felix’s carryon was packed and set at the foot of the bed with care, a light jacket draped over the handle in preparation of their early flight. A single lamp on his nightstand was on, illuminating the scene before her in the dusk-colored room. In the middle of the duvet lay the two teens, about a foot apart but facing each other, unconsciously holding hands as they peacefully napped side-by-side. Tiptoeing to the end of the bed, Amelie pulled out her phone and snapped a few silent photos – noting with glee the tiny smile on her son’s face as he slept. With an airy sigh through her nose, she silently departed so the two could rest.

‘They make such a cute couple! I’ll have to frame these photos for when they get married…’

~~~SCENE 5: Juleka and Nathaniel~~~

A few weeks later, Madame Bustier had paired up students for an art history project. Juleka and Nathaniel had scheduled some time during lunch to study in the library, hoping to get the necessary books for their chosen historical figure: Marcel Duchamp. They greeted the librarian and headed towards the art history section, flipping through various books to find the most relevant information. Suddenly a giggle cut through the quiet and caught the attention of the two studious classmates. Peeking around the end of the row and looking toward the beanbag chairs in the reading nook, they spied two teens engaging in a tickle fight. Their eyes widened as they realized the grinning blond was none other than Felix and the snorting giggles were escaping a very pink, writhing Marinette.

“Is that…are they…” Nathaniel questioned under his breath, Juleka nodding vaguely to confirm that she was witnessing the same thing. This was not the work of an akuma.

They watched silently as the bluenette twisted and struggled to evade the blond boy’s nimble fingers, eventually ending up tangled and panting in an embrace that resembled a human Gordian Knot. Her legs were draped across his lap and an ankle hooked around one of his, her arms weaved and locked around his upper torso, her fingers driven into his hair. Felix’s head rested against her collar bone, his eyes shut, and lips curved into a smug smile. Their bodies were pressed so tightly together that not even a breeze could get between them. “You could have just told me you wanted to nap! Gods, you’re such a cat sometimes!” Marinette scolded softly with a huff of laughter, her fingers petting the skin and long hair at the base of his neck as the boy seemed to melt further against the young designer.

“Do you think they’re dating?” Juleka whispered in amazement.

“Certainly seems like it,” the red head replied.

~~~SCENE 6: Mylene and Rose~~~

“…And the whole park just looks so lovely with all those new trees planted! Thank you for helping with my beautification project, Rose!” Mylene expressed happily to the strawberry blond beside her as they wandered into the cafeteria.

“I was so happy to help. The flowers are going to smell amazing when they begin to blossom!” Rose swooned softly before bumping into someone in her distracted state. “Oh, hey Marinette! What have you got there?”

“Hey guys! I made bento boxes today, want to see?” The bluenette opened the two boxes for their perusal. Inside were tiny hotdog octopi piled so close together that they seemed to be kissing, slices of fried chicken, rice balls with seaweed hearts stuck all over them, and a small salad filled with heart shaped veggies. The two girls cooed over each detail, noting the obvious theme…

“Did you make these for your crush, Marinette?” Rose chirped sweetly, “So romantic!”

“Wh-what?! N-no, no! I just made these because I wanted to…” the young designer blushed crimson at their words and nervously rubbed the back of her neck. “I kind of fell down a YouTube rabbit hole with Kagami the other day and became super obsessed with the idea. I’m not very good though, I still need a bunch of practice…”

The colorful dreadlocked girl smiled kindly, “I think it’s really sweet! You know, I bet Adrien would—”

“Oh shoot! Sorry, girls, I promised Felix we’d have lunch together to work on our project and I really want to eat before this gets cold,” interrupted a distracted Marinette as she packed up her bento, her face scrunched as she took in the grumpy blond at the far end of the cafeteria.

“Sure, see you later, Mari!” Rose and Mylene watched as their friend crossed the room to sit with Felix. “They’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, huh?”

The mousey girl nodded, watching in fascination as their class rep seemed to scold the pale blond for only eating an apple before spreading the two bento boxes between them on the table. Felix responded with an eyeroll from the other side of his book, but Marinette just gesticulated her hand brandishing chopsticks to wave off his arguments. They were taken aback a moment later when she scooped a mouthful from the box and blew away the steam, then offered it to the boy with a silent ‘say ah!’ The grump seemed to huff before dutifully taking the morsel into his mouth, not letting her feeding him interrupt his reading. Marinette smiled brightly and continued to feed them both in this fashion, completely oblivious of the two shocked girls watching from afar.

The petite bubbly girl squealed with joy! “Do you think she actually made the bento for Felix? Oh my goodness, she filled it with hearts!”

“And he accepted it! We’ve got to tell the girls!” Mylene gushed, thrilled to see their sweet friend find love and appreciation.

Looks like the Adrienette fan club needs to disband…

~~~SCENE 7: Kim~~~

It was date night with his girl, Ondine. He had lost their bet at swim practice, so she got to pick the movie – some American “classic” called Grease playing at a small, off-the-beaten-path theater. She seemed happy so Kim wasn’t about to complain. ‘I just hope it’s not a total chick flick! I’ll have to catch the latest John Wick with the guys next weekend…’ he internally sighed. It was early evening on a weeknight, a few bored employees manned the front, and very few patrons were in attendance. Most appeared to be couples out on their own dates. The two athletic teens settled into their seats near the back – prime make out territory for couples, oh yeah – just in time for the lights to dim.

Suddenly, about five minutes into the film, the entry door on the opposite side of the auditorium opened with a loud BANG and made everyone present jump. Kim heard a familiar voice call out a whispered “sorry!” before catching sight of a couple quietly making their way down the aisle and settling a few rows down from where he was. One tall, lanky, dour blond and a shorter, contrite looking bluenette… Wait, was that Felix and Marinette? As Ondine hummed and danced in her seat to ‘Summer Lovin,’ Kim curiously watched as the duo took their seats in the back half of the theater. Once seated, there was some sort of frantic movement from Marinette before Felix settled his arm over her shoulders and pulled her closer; the young designer’s head coming to rest against his chest. Kim’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline and his jaw dropped.

Were they on a DATE?

Distracted, Kim draped his arm around his girlfriend and stared off towards the screen unseeing for a few moments, the gears in his head slowly turning. They arrived together. They seemed cuddly with each other. His eyes widened. ‘Wait, they…’ He glanced over a few times to verify, ‘…they sat in the make out section!’ By the time the characters were dancing around the carnival to ‘We Go Together,’ the Vietnamese boy noticed out of the corner of his eye that Felix had long ago rested his head on top of Mari’s and had occasionally rubbed his cheek against her dark hair.

Maybe it wasn’t really them?

The credits rolled and the dim house lights came on, allowing him to get a better look at the couple as they got up to leave. Oh, yup, it was definitely Felix and Marinette. He nodded along as Ondine gushed about the film, watching his classmates ahead of them from his peripherals. Marinette was gesturing widely, her eyes lit up in a way that only happened when she spoke about fashion. The grouchy teen was gone, a warm smile on his face as he gazed down at the girl beside him. Once outside, he watched as the smile turned into a frown once again – this time only because the bluenette was shivering. He thought he heard the blond murmur “are you cold, Bug?” but he wasn’t sure. For the second time that night, Kim was shocked as Felix shrugged out of his coat and draped it around the dark-haired girl before pulling her close as they walked down the street.

Ondine looked between Kim and the couple, tilting her head a bit. “Isn’t that your friend, Marinette?”

“Yeah…” the taller boy replied hesitantly.

“Wow, she and her boyfriend make such a cute couple!”

~~~SCENE 8: Chloe & Nino~~~

Nino’s groan of frustration was so loud that it reverberated off the walls of the hallway, “Chloe! Look, I’m not thrilled about having to do this report with you either but I’m not going to let you just not do anything!”

The haughty blond girl huffed, crossing her arms with a pout. “I can’t believe you’re going to make me do…” She paused, her mouth opening and closing like she was attempting to spit out something foul tasting, “…homework, Lahiffe. I have far more interesting things to do – like my mani-pedi! These hands don’t just look perfect all on their own!”

“Just use your phone to search for some information on Louise Bourgeois. You insisted on picking her since you’re related but you have to do more than pick the topic!”

Chloe scoffed and turned towards the other blond that had wandered out of the classroom, “Felikins, tell Lahiffe here that a young woman like myself has important needs!”

Felix settled against the wall beside the classroom door and rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to reply when a stumbling blur came through the doorway and seized his attention. Nino watched in fascination as Adrien’s cousin quickly spun – was he always that fast? – and caught the figure in his arms, his face scrunched up in confusion and concern. As he raised himself from a crouch, the DJ was able to see he now held a barely conscious Marinette.

“Dudette! She okay?” Nino stepped closer with an outstretched hand, worry evident in his tone. Sure, he hadn’t been able to hang out with her as much lately, but he knew her! His oldest friend tended to push herself too hard and take on too much, plus she had developed a sensitivity to cold recently… Made her susceptible to getting sick very easily.

Then something unexpected happened that stunned them to silence... The grey eyed boy leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, his face transforming from worry to shock before effortlessly scooping the limp bluenette up bridal style. His voice softened, “Marinette, you have a fever! Did you go out without your jacket again?” He huffed as the girl whined weakly in his arms. Turning to the two of them, his tone became all business once more, “Excuse me, it seems I need to take her to the nurse.” The two shocked classmates stepped aside as a very fierce looking Felix hastened down the hall like a man on a mission. Nino could swear he heard Felix’s voice echoed a ‘what am I going to do with you, princess?’ as he turned the corner, but Felix surely wouldn’t say something like that… would he? Then again…

“Did Felix just…kiss Marinette? Do you think they’re dating?” Nino wondered aloud.

His words seemed to snap Chloe out of her stupor, she spun to face him and screeched in disbelief, “What?! Dating? Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!”

~~~SCENE 9: Sabine & Tom~~~

Sabine was a patient, protective, intuitive woman. She watched her beautiful daughter trip over herself for a boy in her school – a model, no less – she just shook her head. Adrien seemed like a sweet boy but distracted and flighty. Tom thought he seemed like a good match for their sweet girl at first and welcomed him into their home like they would a future son-in-law; Sabine was unconvinced though. Not that she would treat the sweet teen model without her usual kindness – he was her little Bǎobèi‘s friend, after all. He just wasn’t the right one.

However, about half a year later Marinette came home with another blond boy that immediately caught her attention. The new boy, Felix, looked similar to Adrien but was entirely different. Sure, both boys were respectful, handsome, and polite… However, where Adrien was falling over himself for approval and acceptance, Felix walked with a gait that seemed to communicate he needed no one’s approval. She watched with interest as their friendship developed and noted with a smile that the grumpy boy balanced out their daughter’s overexuberance. She softened his hard edges; his quiet support allowed her self-confidence to blossom. He brought structure and order; she ruffled his feathers and introduced some spontaneity to his life. Sabine and Tom had friendly bets going that the two would become something more, but nothing had shown that that was happening. There had been an obvious change in their dynamic a few weeks ago and the bakers were thrilled! Perhaps this was the moment? No.

At this rate, her daughter was going to cost her $30 if they didn’t get together by the end of the month…

It had been a couple days since a worried Felix carried a feverish Marinette home from school. He made sure to come by each day with notes, assignments, and to inquire about her health. Sabine could tell by the way his eyes drifted to the back stairs during each visit that he wanted to see her – not that the taciturn blond would admit such a thing. The two teens were in the living room watching a movie now that she was feeling better. Sabine smiled softly as she washed a few dishes in the sink, ‘As if illness would keep that boy away from your side, Bǎobèi…’ The blond teen was sitting a respectful distance from her daughter on the couch as they chatted about the plot quietly, smiles on both of their faces.

Marinette began to shiver, her body not quite recovered, and whined about feeling cold. Sabine watched as Felix rolled his eyes before getting up, eliciting a louder whine from the girl on the couch. He passed the kitchen with a nod and wordlessly went up the stairs to the designer’s room, returning with a thick fluffy blanket as if he was used to fetching things in their house or for their daughter. Odd. The boy proceeded to drape the blanket over his blue-eyed classmate, carefully tucking it around her whole form before lifting her feet and encasing them as well. Marinette made happy noises as she began to settle in when a sudden movement made her squawk with indignation. Sabine turned in time to see Felix sit closer to her, Marinette’s feet on his lap as he began to unconsciously rub them through the cover of the blanket.

The older bluenette smiled, watching the two returning back to their bantering. Sabine quietly dried her hands and went back down to the bakery. Tom was going to want to hear all about this!

~~~Later…

Tom and his wife tiptoed up the stairs, hoping to catch a glimpse of the two teens without their notice. There, on the couch and basking in the glow of the DVD menu, lay two sleeping teens. Their daughter was cocooned in the blanket like a caterpillar going through metamorphosis, only her head was visible. However, laying slightly behind and draped over the blanket was the slumbering form of Felix. His arms unconsciously pulled her closer, causing their Bǎobèi to hum happily.

“Better be ready to pay up, honey,” whispered Sabine with a grin. “This boy is definitely our Nǚxù.”

Tom chuckled softly, pulling out his phone and opening the notes app. “Do you think he’ll like strawberry crème for their wedding cake?”

“Perhaps lemon, it would go very well with that cream cheese buttercream you’ve been testing out…”

The two adults retreated back to the bakery to continue their discussion, leaving the two teens blissfully unaware that the details of their anticipated nuptials would likely be hammered out by the end of the week.

~~~SCENE 10: Sabrina & Roger Raincomprix~~~

Lt. Roger Raincomprix returned home after his evening patrol, dropping his keys on the entryway table before letting out a long sigh. Tonight had been a long shift but he needed to speak to his daughter before she went to bed… He plodded down the hallway to her room and knocked when he saw the light still shining from beneath the door. “Sabrina? Are you still up, pumpkin?”

“Come on in, Dad!” Roger nervously pushed his way in, finding his smiling daughter dressed in her pajamas and sitting at her desk. “We have a big test tomorrow, so I was just getting in one last review before going to bed.”

“That’s good, honey. We need to have a talk,” the officer sat on the edge of his daughter’s bed and fidgeted with his hands. He wasn’t sure how to broach this topic with his teenage daughter but, some things had happened that evening that made Roger realize that he needed to make sure she was being safe.

“Something wrong, Dad? Did something happen on patrol tonight?” Sabrina’s tone became pensive, concerned for the serious look that her father was sporting.

He dropped his eyes to the floor, flexing his hands in and out of fists as he spoke haltingly. “Yes. Uh…well… Pumpkin, you’re a young woman now. Hormones are hard to deal with as a teen and you’re…going to meet someone special…and you’re going to have some urges—”

“DAD!” The scandalized cry brought his eyes up to meet her own wide, cyan-colored eyes. “Are you…trying to give me the ‘birds and the bees’ talk?”

He swallowed thickly, “Yes, sweetie. You’re sixteen now and—”

His daughter crossed her arms and gave him a flat look as she interrupted again, “I don’t even have a romantic interest right now, Dad. We already covered this in Sex Ed. What is this really about? What happened on patrol?”

Roger gave a long sigh and his brow furrowed. ‘I shouldn’t tell her what happened but… Sabrina wouldn’t tell anyone.’

He cleared his throat. “There was an incident with two of your classmates tonight in the park—”

“WHAT? Who?”

“Sabine’s daughter, Marinette, and that blond kid…what was his name again? Not the model.”

“Felix Graham-Agreste?”

He snapped his fingers, “That’s the one! Caught the two of them in the park canoodling…”

~~Earlier…

Lt. Raincomprix whistled softly as he walked past the hero statue in the park. It had been a quiet shift besides the akuma – not that he could assist with that! – which the heroes apparently wrapped up a few minutes ago, if the recent swarm of ladybugs was any indication. ‘I wonder what those two do after the fight? Chat Noir seems suave, he’s probably some playboy…’ Suddenly a crash and groans were heard. Roger pulled out his flashlight and rushed toward the bushes where the noise originated. There, he found two teens he recognized from his daughter’s class in a compromising position…

Felix Graham-Agreste was slouched back against the trunk of a tree and Marinette Dupain-Cheng was slumped forward between his knees, both staring towards the light with wide eyes. Their hair and clothes were in disarray, small twigs and leaves attached to the strands as if they had been rolling through the bushes. One of the bluenette’s hands was resting upon his thigh, while the other was gripping the front of his belt. The blond had a hand on the back of her head and the other pressed against her upper back, as if pulling her towards him. Felix’s shirt had been untucked and ridden up to expose his stomach; Marinette’s shirt gaped open in the front where a few buttons had popped off to reveal the lacy shoulder strap of her bra.

“What do you two think you’re doing? A park is no place for a lover’s tryst!” Lt. Raincomprix exclaimed.

The two looked each other over briefly before turning red in the face, the small girl squeaked in embarrassment as the boy pulled her close to cover her exposed décolletage and flaming face. He cleared his throat to try to regain some semblance of decorum. “Our apologies, Officer. We weren’t… this isn’t… this was an accident…”

“So are many babies that come from young teenage relationships, son. I understand, I was a young, hot-blooded man myself once.” Roger chuckled at the memory of his adolescent escapades. The two teens in front of him rose to their feet, a flustered Marinette clutched the front of her shirt closed as a more composed Felix kept an arm around her while he continued to shield her from view with his body. “Head on home. I don’t want to be finding you two in the bushes after dark again, you hear?”

The two teens nodded and started the trek back towards the bakery, Roger could hear the bluenette muttering about this being all the boy’s fault. Before they could escape the park, the officer called back out to them. “Oh! And remember to use protection!” He could see the pale blond stiffen and a new flush of red go up the back of his neck at the comment. He chuckled and murmured quietly, “Kids these days…”

~~~Present…

“…I know they’re in your class and you’re all about the same age. It’s totally natural to express your love that way. I just wanted to have a talk with you to make sure that you’ll be safe.” Roger smiled at his daughter and ruffled her hair. “Alright, pumpkin, thanks for hearing me out. Just wait to give me grandkids until you’re a bit older, hm?” He chuckled and walked from the room with a wave. “Sweet dreams and good luck on that test tomorrow!”

A gaping Sabrina stared at the door that her father closed behind him, trying to grasp the facts – Felix and Marinette were apparently caught in a park together.

Were they even dating? It was obviously serious!

Or was he just using her?

How had no one noticed?

She needed to talk to Chloe!

~~~SCENE 11: Max~~~

The cafeteria was busy when Max Kanté wandered in, almost every seat was taken, and a few students had even braved sitting on the notoriously filthy tabletops. Markov scanned the area and found an empty chair near the resident grumpy blond in the corner – was he saving it for someone? Or perhaps most were just too intimidated to ask? Based on various factors, the bespectacled teen calculated that he had a 64.8% chance of success approaching him verses someone else in their class. He’d take those odds.

Approaching the distant table, he noted that Felix Graham-Agreste was focused – leaned forward on elbows and brow furrowed – on a laptop screen in front of him and, once he was within two meters of his target, that it appeared he was playing a video game. Max’s curiosity was peaked. “Hello Felix, apologies, I noticed you were playing a game. I was unaware you were a gamer. Perhaps you would be interested in being a beta test—”

The blond winced slightly and sat back, looking up at the suspender-wearing boy with a wry smirk. “I’m not, Kante. I am attempting to try a game recommended to me by an acquaintance. I’m afraid this endeavor is likely fruitless.”

“Oh,” Max paused, unsure how to continue the conversation. “Well, if you change your mind, I wouldn’t mind a non-gamer perspective. My games should be user friendly to professionals and novices alike.” Felix hummed in response, his eyes returning to the screen where 32-bit sprites bounced in place while awaiting orders. ‘Likely an emulator game considering the archaic graphics,’ he thought to himself.

He cleared his throat and rested his hand on the back of the open chair. “I actually came here to ask if I could take the chair or are you saving it?”

Felix’s eyes flickered over the item before he waved dismissively, “Take it. I’m not saving it.”

“Many thanks. Enjoy your game.” The blond teen snorted in reply and turned back towards his computer.

Max moved to a table nearby, settling in to eat with a few members of the AV club to discuss the latest technology released at the recent Consumer Electronics Show (CES). While one boy animatedly spoke of the newest VR technologies, the bespectacled boy noticed Marinette swerving between the tables; he raised his hand to greet her, but she only gave a wave in passing before stopping beside Felix. Unusual. The distance between them was not great and, though he did not mean to, he could not help eavesdropping inadvertently.

“Hey Felix! Are you…playing a game?” The bluenette leaned over his shoulder, tilting her head at what was displayed.

“Yes, although not very well.” He chuckled softly.

“…But you don’t like video games,” he hummed as she paused in thought. “What brought on the change of heart?”

Felix roughly cleared his throat and preoccupied himself with brushing nonexistent dust from the keyboard keys rather than meeting her eyes. When he finally spoke, Max could barely hear his voice over the general din. “…You enjoy it.” Were his ears red? That had to be a trick of the light!

Marinette whipped her head towards him, blinking a few times as she absorbed his words. Max could see the instant they sunk in: her cheeks took on a rosy glow, her eyes softened, and a sweet smile spread across her face. Were they…flirting? Max was unsure. She leaned in a bit closer, “So…what are we playing?”

Felix seemed to recover some of his normal composure at her reply, “Final Fantasy 7, unfortunately.”

“Wait, the original 1997 release? I love that game!” Marinette glanced around for a chair, frowning when she didn’t see one available. She contemplated the tabletop with a quick swipe of her hand, grimacing at finding something sticky. She wiped her hand lightly on her dark wash jeans and mumbled something that made the boy scoff. They seemed to exchange a look before he sat back and made a gesture in front of him.

Wait! Was Felix Graham-Agreste offering what Max thought he was offering?

No! Couldn’t be! There was only a 13.7% chance that…

Max stared with wide eyes as the blue-eyed designer smiled graciously before casually taking a seat on the blond’s lap – as if this was an everyday occurrence! – before proceeding into a detailed breakdown of the game mechanics and basic strategy. Felix loosely looped an arm around her waist to hold her steady while her hands fluttered about to emphasize her words. The pale blond rested his chin on her shoulder, his eyes attentive and focused on the screen once more, nodding along while his body language communicated contentment. Lifting the sleeve of his green polo shirt, Max pinched himself to make sure he was not imagining this strange manifestation, then glanced around for an akuma for good measure. Nope, this was real.

‘Looks like I need to adjust my calculations…’ he thought, baffled.

~~~SCENE 12: The Whole Class~~~

After a few long days of presentations and exams (and multiple late-night stress-induced akumas – midterms, amirite?), students were rewarded with a school board mandated half day as a “stress relief” measure. Dupont’s was scheduled on Wednesday and teachers had doubled up on homework assignments, but Madam Bustier’s class wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth! The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and they had time off from school! They quickly arranged for a potluck styled picnic in the park and most of their group had arrived by the allotted time…

“Hey, where’s Marinette and Felix?” Max questioned.

“Don’t know about Felix but you know my girl, she’s always running late,” Alya chuckled.

“They’re probably coming together!” Rose chirped from beside a nodding Mylene. Juleka seemed to be murmuring something about a Felinette fan club to a perplexed Ivan.

The Ladyblogger scoffed, “Yeah right. They can barely stand each other at school.” Alix seemed to be quietly chuckling at something Nathaniel was muttering about from the shade of a nearby tree.

Nino and Adrien shared a look beside a smug Kim. “They seemed pretty chummy to me,” the jock shrugged while the other two boys nodded emphatically.

Lila crossed her arms with a huff, “I tried to tell you, Aly—”

“Pardon our tardiness, someone couldn’t pick what flavor juice they wanted…” interrupted Felix with an annoyed tone.

Everyone turned to see the grumpy blond, who had suddenly appeared and was setting down a few boxes of pastries from the boulangerie. He was dressed in a crisp white linen button up, the long sleeves belying the warmth in the air, with his typical grey vest and slacks. Trailing behind was a contrite looking Marinette carrying a large jug of grape juice, her flirty grey skirt and short-sleeved white blouse with white embroidery seeming to match Felix in a casual way. Most present would agree that that was the best way to describe the pair: formal vs. casual, yet somehow complimentary. Well, most people anyway – Alya called it a coincidence!

“There were too many options,” she protested with a scoff, “rich people apparently like to have a bazillion different kinds of juice!”

“It’s called ‘having a selection’ and that’s not even a number!” The boy snarked back, wandering closer to Adrien with an eyeroll. The designer grumbled as she poured herself a cup of juice.

“Now that everyone’s here, let’s get this party started!” Nino cried while pumping a fist in the air, cueing Max to start up the tunes while the group mingled over snacks and students settled into a rough circle on a collection of picnic blankets.

Everyone was laughing and having a good time, although many were stealing glances at the bluenette and pale blond as they seemed to coordinate or maneuver around each other like some kind of elaborate dance. His hand steadying her elbow as she wobbled while getting up, her wordlessly placing a few extra cheese squares onto his plate, a tap or a smile or a shoulder bump somehow communicating each other’s needs without words. The food began to dwindle after a couple amicable – if scrutinizing – hours passed. All that remained was a handful of badly bruised fruit and the dwindling drink supply. It was during a moment when Marinette was refilling her cup with juice at the nearby table and Felix turned a certain way that it happened…

“Uh, Fe… You have something on your collar.” Adrien pointed towards his own neck to indicate the general location. “Did you spill something on yourself?”

“No,” puzzled the teen in question, popping open the top button, pulling the collar away from his neck and into the edges of his field of vision.

“Yeah, dude, it kinda looks like lipstick?” Nino helpfully contributed.

Felix face morphed into a flat look of irritation before leaning back to call over his shoulder, “You got lipstick on me again?”

‘AGAIN?’ The class thought simultaneously, shocked speechless.

Oblivious to the turmoil he had created in their classmates, the grumpy blond turned to speak directly to the approaching bluenette. “What is it with you and always leaving marks on me, hm?”

Jaws slackened, unsure what to make of such a bold statement. However, Alya’s eyes had zeroed in on the exposed skin around Felix’s collar bones and shoulder… which were covered in light scratches. Scratches that were obviously made by human fingernails rather than by an animal. ‘As if given in the heat of passion…’ The thought caused her to choke on a bite of food and left her coughing roughly to clear her windpipe.

“It’s not like I meant to—AH!” Marinette’s toe caught on a rock, lurching her forward and causing the grape juice to go airborne. As if in slow motion, everyone watched in silent fascination as the purple stream crashed down on Felix. With a bland look and soft growl, the now wet teen dragged a hand down his face and looked into the bluebell eyes staring at him in horror. A silent conversation seemed to pass between the two as everyone held their breath – Adrien’s cousin was not known for being forgiving, especially when it came to his clothes. After a couple seconds, the young designer scrambled up and began to blot his face and neck with a few wrinkled napkins that she had crushed in her hand when she fell.

“Oh gods… I’m so, so sorry, Felix!” They watched as his brow furrowed and he captured the wrist of one fussing hand in his. Just as he was about to open his mouth to give a – likely scathing – retort, she suddenly perked up with a determined glint in her eye. In one fluid motion she reversed his hold and yanked them both to their feet. “I know! Let’s go back to my house so you can change, I have one of your shirts from last time!”

With a quick tug and a brusque ‘see ya’ over her shoulder, the two were off! The drenched blond stumbling after the exuberant bluenette bounding gracefully across the grass, moving so fast that they were quickly out of earshot. Leaving behind the cacophony of vocalized reactions of their friends and classmates to such a proclamation…

“Wait—”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN—”

“…Last time?”

“Do you think that means they…”

“DUDE!”

“…my ship…”

“Damn, get it, bro!”

“Did you see…”

“I told you so!”

“What just happened?!”

“Ridiculous! If you hadn’t already told me, Sabrina, I would not have believed it.” Chloe’s muttered words, although not loud, cut through the din and silenced all present. Twelve sets of eyes landed on the duo as if seeking answers or insider gossip.

“Wait! What do you know, Sabrina?” Alya questioned with narrowed eyes.

“Well…” she hesitated, looking around nervously before dropping her eyes to the checkered pattern of the blanket she sat on. “My dad said, the other night…”

~~~SCENE 13: The Confrontation~~~

No one was really sure how it started but the newest ‘golden couple’ was in the middle of an argument during their free period. Madam Bustier had left to gather more materials for later coursework. Everyone watched with silent interest as Marinette and Felix seemed to forget that the rest of the room existed, teasing smirks and flashing eyes only for each other.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah!”

“You and what army?”

“I don’t need an army, I can best you all by myself.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

The class collectively held their breath as the two edged closer and closer. The space between them on their shared bench disappeared as they leaned in, eyes locked together as grey gazed deeply into blue, nose to nose and humid breaths mingling as they continued to banter. Marinette’s bangs brushed Felix’s forehead as he tilted his head and his features adopted a more cocksure appearance, as if he was challenging her. She leaned ever closer, their lips only a whisper apart as their voices dropped in timbre. Time seemed to slow to a stop in the classroom. The anticipation was so thick that it was choking every ambient sound into silence…

“JUST KISS ALREADY!”

In an instant the spell was broken. Everyone jumped at the screeched words and searched for the source. There stood a panting, flushed Juleka. Her hands planted on her desk as she leaned aggressively forward, a fierce fire burning in her eyes as they bored into Marinette and Felix – as if the strength of her will alone would make it happen. A few groans were heard as the couple leaned away with widened eyes, only now realizing they had an audience.

“What did you say?” questioned the pale blond, his lips turning down into a frown.

“We’re saying you don’t need to hide your relationship anymore,” Ivan smiled softly.

“Guys, what…” the young designer chuckled incredulously.

“We know you two are dating,” answered Kim plainly.

Marinette and Felix’s ruddy complexions mirrored each other, their eyes looking like they might pop from their sockets. The two tripped over their words to contradict but neither were able to get more than a “we’re not—“/”that’s not—” as their tongues tumbled about uselessly in their mouths.

“Don’t even try to deny it, we’ve all seen you two. It’s not like you’re very subtle, Dupain-Cheng!” Chloe crossed her arms and stared down her nose at them.

The tall blond boy was the first to recover, his brow furrowing. “Wait, what do you mean you saw us?”

“I saw you cuddling in the park,” Adrien offered softly.

“And in the library,” Nathaniel contributed while Juleka got herself under control.

“All of you know that Marinette is very physically affectionate, especially when she’s cold.” Felix defended.

Alix scoffed, “What about holding hands and carrying her bags?”

“She’s also incredibly clumsy and regularly hurts herself. I do that to keep her from faceplanting every three meters,” he argued while Mari chuckled softly.

“You two regularly share drinks,” Lila rolled her eyes at the gasped “sorry for not believing you, girl!” coming from Alya beside her.

“And made him bento lunches!” squealed a lovesick Rose.

“Hey! I told you I made those on a whim!” the young designer cried.

“Then why were there so many hearts?” Mylene innocently questioned.

The bluenette blushed, “They were supposed to be flowers…I’m not very good at cutting shapes with a knife.”

“Well, Ondine and I saw you all lovey-dovey at the movies,” presented Kim with an eyebrow waggle.

She crossed her arms and huffed, “I was researching 1950’s American fashion for a design!”

“Uh…dudette…we saw him kiss you,” Nino nervously murmured. Although, by the way the whole class gasped, they had heard him. The Moroccan boy quickly added, “it was on the head!”

Marinette squeaked and looked at the slightly pink boy beside her. Felix turned to meet Nino’s eye, “…she was ill with a fever and I had my hands full, if you will recall.”

Lila’s tone turned salacious, “That doesn’t even cover the scandalous moments…”

“You did seem awfully cuddly playing video games at lunch the other day,” Max stated while adjusting his glasses.

“B-but th-that was…” the designer stuttered weakly before being interrupted.

“Sabrina’s father caught you hooking up in the park,” Kim smirked and winked towards Felix, who showed the telltale signs of a flush spreading up his neck and ears.

“Not to mention the lipstick and scratches!” Alya leaned towards Marinette and whisper shouted, “I didn’t know you had it in you, girl!”

“And he has clothes at your place from last time,” purred the Italian.

“That’s…” the bluenette swallowed hard, “I-I-I was tr-trying to save a k-kit-kitten from the tr-tree in the p-park. F-Felix ca-caught me when I s-slipped, damaged hi-his clothes… He left his sh-shirt for m-me to repair it and he for-forgot to p-pick it up.”

The blond kept his eyes down, his voice was quiet but still carried in the small classroom, “I recently discovered a new allergy to a certain laundry detergent that makes me very itchy and I’ve been scratching myself…”

“Um…what about the lipstick?” a bashful Adrien murmured.

“I hav-haven’t gotten m-m-much sleep lately…” began the designer, pressing her palms together in her lap nervously.

“…She has a tendency to fall asleep on me if I carry her,” Felix finished quietly, his grey eyes holding unreadable emotions.

“We’re just friends,” they flatly replied, their expressions reflecting some internal conflict while unable to meet the other’s eye.

Most of the students collectively groaned again as they hunkered back down into their seats, unable to stand that phrase. Fourteen sets of eyes exchanged looks as the information sank in. The couple’s explanation made a lot of sense in hindsight… Nino and Kim had known Mari for years and she was overly physically affectionate. ‘Plus Alya knows the girl was even more so with cold weather,’ the Moroccan boy thought. He and Kim shrugged it off, who were they to judge? Many others are willing to brush it off as a misunderstanding now that the excitement had passed.

On the other hand, Adrien seemed to grow more flustered since the declaration of friendship, shooting furtive glances towards Marinette – his imagination running wild with the idea of cuddling with the soft, sweet-smelling baker girl. ‘Maybe she and I…’ He was jolted from his daydreams by a tap from Nino’s pen on his arm. The model’s ears and cheeks felt like they would permanently sport a pink coloration. A few Adrienette fan club members squealed quietly as they observed his reactions. However, there were a few classmates that were still suspicious – such as Chloe and Sabrina – that quickly found home with the handful of Felinette shippers as they charted their theories. Some things just felt too convenient and damn, if they didn’t make an adorable couple…

REET! REET! REET!

The akuma alert popped up on every phone in the class, everyone opened it to see the location— BOOM!

RIIIIIING!

A plume of dust rose above the rooftops from a few blocks away and the school’s evacuation bell blared overhead. The students quickly grabbed their things and calmly evacuated away from the action. They all failed to notice a still pink Felix Graham-Agreste grab the hand of a flustered Marinette Dupain-Cheng before running furiously in the opposite direction…

~~~ BONUS SCENE~~~

The akuma took longer than usual. They were both off their game. First, the heroes had been distracted and submerged in the thoughts contained within their own minds. Their communication suddenly became stilted and awkward, filled with embarrassed laughter that would die out like a sputtering engine running out of fuel. Then it was as if they were hyperaware of each other – every touch, glance, and proximity – causing them to jerk away at the most inopportune times.

The worst part?

It wasn’t caused by the akuma.

The issues were not resolved by the Miraculous Cure. So, after recharging – and getting a peptalk from – their kwamis, they rendezvoused on the top of a tall building where they would not be overheard. Feet dangling over the edge, they decided to clear the air.

“I just can’t believe they thought we were dating!” Ladybug cried, her hands fluttering anxiously around her head.

"That cover story about the kitten in the park was genius though." Chat Noir chuckled, “I’m honestly not as surprised. You did suddenly act much closer to me after you revealed your identity.”

“Excuse moi? I was NOT the one that revealed to you! I seem to recall saving your leather-clad butt from being revealed to all of Paris.” The spotted heroine poked him in the shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah…” the black-cloaked hero rolled his eyes, “and you happened to drop your transformation right as we barreled headlong into that broom closet. You landed right on top of me!”

“Fine, I saved both of our asses, Alley Cat!” she grinned teasingly.

Chat threw his head back with a joyous laugh, a more natural grin spreading across his face as he flirtatiously waggled his eyebrows. “Alley Cat who? Our classmates seem to think I’m a House Cat now, Bugaboo.”

Ladybug’s cheeks pinked under her mask at the implication of his joke, her eyes breaking away from his to refocus on another point on the skyline pensively. Had he said something wrong? The lines of Chat’s mouth tugged down at her reaction, leaning closer in an attempt to meet her eyes again when her whisper froze him in place.

“…is the idea of being MY kitty so ridiculous…?”

His eyes widened. Chat swallowed thickly, his mind supplying the same sweet moments their classmates had witnessed and more as his face burned up. Perhaps even a bassinet, family dinners, and kisses. Gods, that sounded…purrfect. A wide grin blossomed from the ashes of his frown and he leaned into her peripherals to catch her eye with a flirty wink.

“Does that mean my princess would like to become my queen?”

The bug-heroine’s eyes snapped to meet his, filled with enough warmth and love to knock the air from his lungs. Within seconds, a playful sparkle and a bright smile broke across her face as she leaned right into his personal space to peck his cheek. His face grew hot, smile lopsided, and he could swear his spine melted a little.

“If you can catch me, Kitty,” launching herself from the building with a laugh as she swung away.

Shaking himself from his stupor, he pulled out his baton and plunged off the side. Challenge accepted. He had a bug to catch!

‘Looks like our classmates will have more to talk about tomorrow…’

**Note: I plan to write a sequel eventually!

[peak-miraculous-humor]

[not-eli]

Season 5 Chat Noir: Marinette I'm sorry but you don't know who's behind the mask I can't kiss u :(

Literally him in all other seasons: FUCK THE MASK LET'S SMOOCH

[star-starters]

Miraculous PV part 1

Not so good with background 😅

[nobodyfamousposts]

Another Miraculous Crossover Nobody Wanted (DCxML)

In the midst of so many Batfamily/Miraculous crossovers, the thing I feel so many people forget is that the Waynes are...well...themselves.

Sure, they're awesome vigilantes. Trained in martial arts and with great mental fortitude to help them against the likes of Scarecrow's fear gas, Joker's venom, and Mad Hatter's manipulations.

...the problem is that Hawk Moth is a whole different ballgame.

He doesn't target their fears or dreams. He targets ANYTHING. Like petty annoyances. Frustrations. Sleep deprivation. Obsessions. Things the Batfamily generally try to ignore on a regular basis.

If he can akumatize and reakumatize the same man over his love of pigeons and people who feel they've been wronged over silly reasons, there's SO MUCH that could come from the complete dysfunction/emotional constipation that is the Wayne family. Remember, ANY frustration or annoyance or upset counts. 

Meaning Ladybug and Chat will be having their hands full with the Waynes until they leave.

And given that Hawk Moth comes up with the silliest costumes and powers...

...the others would never let them live it down.

...

It was a beautiful day in Paris. And an absolutely wonderful vacation to the City of Love, where everything was peaceful and nothing was wrong.

Dick stood at the window looking out over the city.

Tim was on his computer doing some reports. Possibly Wayne Enterprises work, but more likely mission work.

Damien had apparently gotten tired of grumbling and was focused on sharpening his sword—which Bruce really shouldn’t have let him bring. But given the situation, he couldn’t argue against letting Damien have something that would help him stay calm.

Cass had found a magazine to occupy her time, though she seemed somewhat confused as to the male teen model that kept appearing in nearly every line.

And Jason…

…he was grinning. And watching Bruce with such anticipation, looking downright hopeful as he waited. Not helping was that he was holding what appeared to be a brand new camera, fully prepared to start recording.

Bruce knew why.

But he would not give him the satisfaction.

Because nothing was going to happen.

Absolutely nothing.

Bruce twitched.

SNAP!

And his pen cracked from the sheer amount of pressure he was putting on it. Which was admittedly an annoyance, but wasn’t that big of a deal…

…if it wasn’t the 15th pen he’d broken in the past three hours.

It was fine though.

Nothing was wrong.

He was calm.

Calm.

Calm.

A muffled voice could be heard from outside despite the room being on the seventh floor of a building. Which of course was a coincidence and not because someone was actually right outside the room….and the building.

And perhaps if Bruce tried really hard, he could convince himself was just someone singing a line out of “American Pie” and not someone talking about butterflies.

No.

Because there were no butterflies outside. Because he was fine!

Not the slightest bit upset!

At. All.

“That’s thirty-three…” Dick counted.

…

…

…

…Dammit.

Bruce sighed.

“Did she come back to the roof?”

“Actually, she never left.” Tim confirmed, not even looking up from his computer. “She stopped leaving after the last incident and has just been standing there for the past couple hours now, catching them as they come.”

A long pause.

“How…?”

“Her partner has been bringing her water and snacks. And keeping watch whenever she has to leave to hibernate or use the little bug’s room.”

Bruce groaned.

Why couldn’t it be a villain? Or a fan or stalker? He could deal with those. He dealt with them all the time.

It was the well intentioned young superheroes that he had a harder time dealing with. The ones that wanted to help but were misguided in not understanding that their help wasn’t necessary.

“Gotcha!”

“Thirty-four.” Dick droned.

…no matter how many magical butterflies implied otherwise.

“Maybe we should do what the nice Ladybug hero asked and finish up our business in Paris?” Tim suggested.

“I refuse!” Damien shouted, jumping to his feet. “This villain has made a mockery of us and it must not be allowed to stand! I will not leave until he has been caught and my sword has tasted his blood!”

“Damien, we don’t kill, remember?”

“I wouldn’t kill him.” Damien said, looking away with a pout. “Just…dismember him a bit.” He frowned, consideringly. “Maybe cut off his arms. He can’t continue villainy then, right?”

Tim sighed.

“So that’s a no on going home early then.”

They heard a noise from the roof.

“Is she leaving?” Bruce asked, trying to hide how hopeful he was.

“Nope. It’s her catboyfriend back again.” Dick replied, blithely.

Bruce sighed.

“Do you think they’re dating?”

“Dick.” Bruce warned.

“Because the city seems to be really hamming up the romantic angle between the two and it’s kinda hard to not see.” Dick continued. 

“Dick.”

“Even if it is kinda weird that they’re essentially shipping teenagers.”

“Speaking from experience there, Dickie Boy?” Jason cut in, cheekily.

“Stop it. Both of you.” Bruce ordered. “The goal of coming to Paris was supposed to be to deal with the emotional terrorism from Hawk Moth.”

“A little hard with all your emotional constipation there, B.”

Jason smirked.

“Or should I say ‘Justice Man’?”

Bruce twitched.

[generalluxun]

Chloe: So, my stupid therapist insisted that I write a play about my life to "Get my thoughts out there" or some nonsense.

Alya: Question, what does this have to do with us?

Chloe: Simple, I've assigned you all roles. Rose, as you're one of the only other blondes in this class, so you get Audrey by default.

Rose: But I don't want to be your mother.

Chloe: Oh good, you already know your first lines!

Pfft okay but that's priceless.

[hufflepotato-18]

SAY IT WITH ME FOLKS,

✨TRAUMATIZED✨