#but also accurate

[flyingnightmouse]

virgin “let’s have weird Vibes and never truly acknowledge it” tntduo VS chad “constantly argue and canonically have minecraft sex live on stream several times” slimeriana

[generalluxun]

Chloe: So, my stupid therapist insisted that I write a play about my life to "Get my thoughts out there" or some nonsense.

Alya: Question, what does this have to do with us?

Chloe: Simple, I've assigned you all roles. Rose, as you're one of the only other blondes in this class, so you get Audrey by default.

Rose: But I don't want to be your mother.

Chloe: Oh good, you already know your first lines!

Pfft okay but that's priceless.

[justsasuke]

Team Taka and babysitting

Sasuke - the literal worst with children. He’s the youngest child and it shows. It’s not that he hates kids he just doesn’t know what to do with them and never bothered to learn. Will show up to babysitting job and ask why there are kids there. 0/10

Suigetsu - actually good with children because there were a lot of orphans in Kiri and all the older kids would look after the little ones. Can’t be trusted with children though because he will try to teach them how to use a knife and at least 5 different ways to murder someone. His rating is 3/10

Karin - her idea of babysitting is to take kids to an all you can eat restaurant, let them eat until they pass out and then read or do whatever she wants while they sleep. Parents give her a high rating because when they come home the kids are sleeping peacefully. Her one good quality is she sometimes does useful things like teaching a kid how to fix his own scraped knee without crying. 5/10

Juugo - looks the scariest to kids bc he’s so tall but has the strong nurturing instincts so his success rate with kids is higher. He makes balanced meals and is great at validating children’s feelings and talking them out of a tantrum. Does best with the outcast children and the ones that want to climb him like a jungle jim. 6/10

[boxedfoxess]

The foxes as quotes from my friends and I:

Neil Josten: sometimes you just gotta shoot people and then move on

Kevin Day: when you go skiing the prosititutes get you

Andrew Minyard: who is we? Nintendo Wii not me!

Dan Wilds: it’s not your love life, it’s OUR love life

Matt Boyd: hey your dick is big and so is mine, wanna be friends??

Allison Reynolds: how does this guy have balls when he’s such a bitch

Nicky Hemmick: nothing says gay pride like lots of large penises

Aaron Minyard: make out, have a little sex while your at it then get married and fuck off

Renee Walker: You didn’t leave room for Jesus in here

[gvtterskunk]

minty. minty being minty.

[withahappyrefrain]

I know Bob Floyd had a countdown for the 1.6 Stardew Valley update

[insanityclause]

If the ATJ rumors are true, I'll just be happy we can finally put this rumors to rest.

I mean, he filmed the gun barrel sequence a year ago, according to the same tabs, and it was to be released last spring... but then Cillian was in the driver's seat last week, and Theo James.

Let's just say, I'm kind of beyond the point of caring any more. Show me a director and a decent trailer and whoever it ends up being, and I'll see if it piques my interest then.

[magicblooms]

"He flirts with anything that moves and has a cock. One of the reasons I try to avoid having him around you, aside from the fact you want to strangle him."

"Oh? You don't like him flirting with me? But it's fine when he flirts with you and suggest you two part for the night with a kiss? As for strangling him, you said he would like that so I won't put my fingers anywhere near his neck. I'll ask Vinda to.

[dogwise]

not to be weird but there should be more cannibalism in xenofiction

[witchknightblue]

A guide to surviving North England

When asked the best tea brand, the only acceptable answer is Yorkshire Tea.

Do not challenge a seagull. You will lose. Give up your food, it is a sacrifice we must make for survival.

Do not go to Blackpool. The lights are pretty, yes, but it is a Hell Mouth and each new person to enter is another inch that door to Hell opens.

Always say thank you when someone holds a door open for you. A grudge will be held if you forget.

Greggs and Wetherspoons are unknown entities. They are not patisserie, nor restaurant, nor pub.

Twinnings English Breakfast tea tastes watery no matter what you do to it, do not buy.

Manchester is both the best and worst city.

Everyone knows everyone in Lancashire in some way.

Bury is pronounced as it's spelled. Not Berry. No matter what the people who live there try to tell you. If it was said Berry there would be an E in it.

Every single wedding will play Come On, Eileen. You must dance.

[regretismyconstantcompanion]

"....Gellert..... Are you really happy to make that offer to me? I must admit that I'm beyond tempted to accept....."

My favorite ultra-specific character type is "this fucked up little man clearly just needs a consensual BDSM relationship and some therapy and he'd be fine, but that is very much not what happens in this story."

[generalluxun]

Amusing post S5 Chlogami thought but:

Chloe: You realize dating me is now social suicide no? As in, all your lovely little friends will hate you.

Kagami: You are exaggerating, I dated Felix and he tried to kill everyone on the planet.

Chloe: Ah, but you see I committed a much worse crime. I could be annoying and rude.

I will say this in the Miraclass's defense:

That is a very 14yr old way to be.

[zillychu]

everyone sh. shutd up im cooking smthn

[markodragic]

I dont think anything on this earth tickles me so hard as how busted white people look in the yakuza franchise

its so dhsjdjfjxjfjgk

[such-a-daydreamer]

And then they explode

[sleepy-the-loz-enthusiast]

Describing various ocs horribly (all of these are from the same story except three... try to guess who :))

- murderous manwhore with severe trauma

- depressed eyeball

- AAA fish

- deliberately gentle wing guy

- unhealthy buff lady

- unaware of the atrocities

- drug dealer

- a literal fucking saint

- dude how tf are you alive

- oOoOoo spooky ghost

- a god incarnate...???

- despite my best efforts, they're still alive