#minotaur andy

[fobnsfwdoodles]

oh shit, hiiii bull Andy. u busy later? wink

(gah you always draw everyone so hott)

Bull Andy just finished his work for the day and is happy to have visitors on the farm :>

[tarabyte3]

Mayhaps you could elaborate your top 5 hear-me-out monsters? 😏

Mr. Pyramid head makes me very blushy

Spectacular topic. Pyramid Head is an excellent monster. 😏

Yautja

They're strong and ripped, B I G, the intense body language 🤌, they have a code of honor that makes them fascinating characters, they can absolutely provide for you, and I have recently realized one of my types is apparently men in masks (Paz Vizsla, Immortan Joe, Yautja, Doctor Doom). I mean, just look at them!! Mask on or off, I don't even care. I love my crab faced boyfriends. (Crucified Predator from Predators (2010) is my favorite 😍)

Demons

You could include the devil (and D&D devils) in with this as well. I love corruption tropes, and demons are the embodiment of corruption. Too often they are portrayed in horror as just another violent Creature, when they're so much more than that. I love when they're intelligent, patient, cunning. Why turn to violence when temptation is so much more fun? They're a mirror to my Priest Kink. Seducer vs the seduced. Plus religion is actually fun when you're sexualizing it. 😇

Minotaur

The physicality and bestial aspect of a minotaur is similar to that of werewolves with one (in my opinion) very important distinction: Werewolves can shift their form to something human and a minotaur cannot. There's no split between man and beast. He IS the beast. So it then becomes about acceptance of the monstrous in its entirety. Not expecting it to change. Loving it anyway exactly as it is.

Death from Death and the Maiden paintings

This one is difficult for me to articulate. In this motif, Death is very seductive. It beckons and lures and corrupts, and is often portrayed as doing so in a very erotic and passionate way. Oftentimes moreso than depictions of two humans, even. I find it very appealing in a similar way as demons, despite the lack of any sort of anatomy or flesh. Apparently it just scratches some part of my brain. I suppose you could say I want to 😎 bone him.

Caesar from The Planet of the Apes

HEAR ME OUT. I know this isn't a very monstrous answer. And I know I am tempting fate here because I have been fighting for my life in my asks for saying Caesar is hot. BUT. Caesar is a monster. He's not truly an ape and he's not human. He's a very intentionally human coded Other. The first and truest next link of evolution as the result of a virus.

For anyone reading this and getting ready to send me MORE hate mail, let us refer to the Harkness Test: Does it have human intelligence (or "greater")? Can it talk or otherwise communicate with language? Is it of sexual maturity for its species?

Caesar passes all of them. He's a monster. He has Andy Serkis's voice and grunts and growls. And he's sensitive, intelligent, kind, brave, loving, and he's HOT. 😤

[buckets-and-trees]

2200 FOLLOWERS!

TWO YEARS AGO IN JULY I HAD ZERO FOLLOWERS! NOW THERE ARE TWENTY-TWO HUNDRED OF YOU PLAYING AROUND HERE WITH ME?!

I love you, I love you, I love you!

I know there are blogs with way more people, but this is very humbling for me, and all of you make this so much fun - worth it to slog through the writers block, and so frequently I'm blessed with pick-me-ups from either an ask in my inbox, messages, comments, and reblogs that are just so generous/kind/hilarious.

It's kind of a crazy time right now, so I might do something bigger and fancier and more engaging at another follower milestone, but... what if I just run a poll for what you actually WANT me to update next from some of the more popular stories? I think my life could handle that right now without my head reeling/with enough time for me to actually finish it...

[lousypotatoes]

Hi I love your korekiyo fic it was sooo cute :3 would you be ok with writing korekiyo/and or Gundam tanaka x reader (gn) who loves monster mythology and reading classic books like Dracula or Frankenstein. Pls & Thx

oh my goodness this is favorite request so far!! I absolutely love old horror classics <33 Enjoy~

Monster Stories Gundham/Korekiyo x G/N! Reader

Gundham Tanaka

Song Recommendation:

Teeth - 5 Seconds Of Summer

This has some suggestive content. Mostly making out but still.

It had been a super exhausting day. You had tests in almost every class, and you had to deal with Hiyoko throwing a temper tantrum, luckily Mahiru was there to calm her down.

Walking into your dorm room, you kicked off your shoes, grabbed your book, and plopped down on your bed.

After about 20 minutes, you heard a knock at the door.

"Come in!" you called out, not taking your eyes off the pages of the book.

The door opened and your boyfriend, Gundham walked in, his scarf and coat swaying behind him.

"What are you reading, my dark monarch?" he asked, sitting on your bed.

"Dracula, by Bram Stroker," you said, leaning into him. "You've probably heard of it."

"Indeed, I have," he said proudly, reading the words on the page. "How did you aquire this book of dark energy?"

"I wouldn't call it dark energy," you chuckled. "Shuichi let me borrow it."

"I didn't know that he had the same kind of 'dark power' as you and I."

"Shuchi's full of surprises, I guess," you said, distracted by the scene in the book. "Jonathan just met the brides,"

"Perhaps my favorite part in the whole book,"

You closed the book, smirking. "Why's that Gundham?"

Gundham blushed, pulling his scarf over his face. "Be-Because my dear, it shows the demon and seductive energy that Dracula's brides have," Gundham said, making you giggle.

"Excuses, excuses," you said, leaning in to kiss him.

Gundham didn't waste anytime kissing you back. Your lips molded perfectly together, his lips rough, but in a comforting way.

His tongue swiped over her your bottom lip, asking for entrance. Giggling, you parted your mouth, and he immediately invaded it with your tongue, exploring every inch. Your tongues intertwining together, you moved your hands to the back of his neck, forcing him closer to you. Gundham moved his hands to your hips, pressing your chest against him.

After a few minutes of making out, you both pulled away from each other, both breathing heavily, a string of saliva connecting the two of you.

"Maybe next time I should ask you about your favorite scene in Doctor Sleep," you joked, panting.

"The scene where Rose The Hat and Snakebite Andy make love, my monarch," he growled, nipping at your neck.

"Fair enough," you breathed out, pulling him into another passionate kiss.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Korekiyo Shinguji

Song Recommendation:

All Of Me - John Legend

Being The Ultimate Mythologist, you absolutely loved studying myths in your free time. But by far your favorite mythology to study was monster mythology.

You were in the Hope's Peak Academy library, reading books about The Loch Ness Monster, The Minotaur, and other ancient monsters.

As you were reading, you heard footsteps behind you, but assumed it was the librarian. So, you were pretty surprised when someone sat in the chair next to you. You jumped up so suddenly that you almost knocked down one of the books.

"Sorry love," your boyfriend chuckled. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine Kiyo," you said, catching your breath. "I just didn't expect you to be here, that's all."

"What are you reading, dear?" he asked, looking over at the pages.

"Just some monster mythology stuff,"

"What creature are you reading about this time?" he grabbed onto your hand.

"The Minotaur, right now," you said, squeezing his hand.

"Ah, The Cretan Bull," Korekiyo said. "Very interesting, my dear."

"Mhmmm,"

The two of you sat there for the next few moments in silence, reading and enjoying each other's company.

After about ten minutes, you closed the book.

"Finished reading already?" he hummed.

"No, but we should leave," you said, getting up. "I have homework to do, and my textbook's in my dorm."

"Would you like me to accompany you?" Korekiyo asked, also getting up.

"I would like nothing better," you smiled, kissing his cheek.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i really really REALLY want some double stuffed oreos

and a rootbeer float

stay safe and drink lots of water <33

xoxo, Izzy

[meat-wentz]

Do u possibly have any more information on the infamous Andy Hurley Skrillex kiss picture? Like why? Where did it come from? How do they even know each other???

It has been in the back of my mind for two months now and it's driving me insane, I can't deal with this. Every time I'm doing something my thoughts will just wander back to Andrew Hurley and Skrillex kissing. And the worst part I have zero fucking context for this goddamn picture. I think this is a modern form of torture genuinely

i am so obsessed with this it’s like you’re trapped in the labyrinth and andy and skrillex kissing is your minotaur. i am sad to report that i actually have zero context for this kiss, but i do have context for skrillex! fob toured with from first to last during warped tour, which, given andy’s straightened hair and the length of his hair in the photo, is when im gonna guess the kiss happened.

here’s a little fun interview with pete and sonny on warped:

and from first to last was also on the black clouds and underdogs lineup! here’s some more pics of sonny and the boys:

and here’s him wearing fob merch:

and for fun here’s more pics of skrillex kissin boys and gettin kissed by boys

[boxofbonesfic]

“Do No Harm” 🔥

Doctor!Steve Kemp x Nurse!Reader

Summary: Hospitals are haunted by death, by things that might have been, could have been—are. But the ghosts that haunt St. Everett’s Hospital seem to be more than just rumors spread by the older nurses. These ghosts are hungry.

“Tepata”

Minotaur!Thor x Reader

Summary: You are the lamb led to slaughter, you are the demon’s mistress, the monster’s bride—you are the one who lived.

“Reciprocity” 🔥

Lloyd Hansen x Ex-Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: Your toxic ex doesn’t take too kindly to his portrayal in your best-selling self-help debut.

“What if, What if”🔥

Dark Alpha!Steve Rogers x Omega!Reader

Summary: To make ends meet, you begin selling your panties online. But when one of your subscribers begins to get pushy, you’re forced to reevaluate. 

“Inside”🔥

Dark!Steve Rogers x Plus Size!Reader, Peter Parker x Plus Size!Reader

Summary: It’s easy to see what people want you to see, the things they readily show you, the secrets they easily share. But you will come to learn that none of that counts for anything—not inside.

“Dust to Dust”🔥

Soft Dark!Lee Bodecker x Reader

Summary: Your momma always warned you about men with badges. Nothing good could come of a man with too much power and nobody to answer to, that’s what she said. Her theory is tested when your younger brother is caught up in something he shouldn’t be, and the Sheriff agrees to look the other way—for a price. 

“America’s Next Top Asshole”🧸

Model!Ransom x Model!Reader

Summary: Wanna be on top? Of course you do—and that’s why, after fighting your way through an entire season’s worth of competitors, you can’t bear to lose to Ransom-fucking-Drysdale. Sweet one minute, and sour the next—like sugar venom. 

“[Redacted]” 🔥

Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: At the height of summer, the power grid goes down in New York City. You, of course, are grateful that *the* Captain America takes it upon himself to make sure you get home safe and sound. 

“Burn it all” 🔥

Ghostface!Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Peter knows love. He knows the softness of it, knows what it feels like to be wrapped in it—but he knows it can be hard too. Cutting and sharp and bloody—but he can do it for you. He would do anything for you. 

“Into Fire” 🔥

Soft Dark!Andy Barber x Divorcee!Reader

Summary: Your bitter divorce suddenly becomes easier to manage when you hire a new attorney. His results are so good they should be illegal—in fact, they actually might be. 

i can’t wait to see what you guys choose!

[afaims100arrowversefavs]

My 250 Favorite Arrowverse Episodes: Part 2: 225-201

Taken from „Arrow“, „The Flash“, „Supergirl“, „Legends of Tomorrow“, „Constantine“, „Black Lightning“, „Batwoman“, „Stargirl“ and Season 1-3 of „Superman & Lois“:

In honor of Seaosn 4 of "Superman & Lois" being the end of the Arrrowverse, the end of DCTV like we knew it and the end of The CW like we knew it, a final time before the final season all Seasons ends of all the 250 best Arrowverse Episodes (according to me):

I did include "Stargirl" this time, since it has as much connection as "Superman & Lois" to the rest of the Arrowverse, but One Hit Shows like "Gotham Knights" and "Naomi" (anyone still remember this one?) are not on this list, neither are Arrowverse unrelated DC shows:

225. Tender is the Nate (Legends of Tomorrow 4x6)

The One in which: A Minotaur gets a lullybye.

57, Written by: Phil Klemmer, Matthew Maala, Directed by: Dean Choe

224. Through the Looking Glass (Batwoman 1x16)

The One in which: A family buries a body together.

16, Written by: Nancy Kiu, Directed by: Sudz Sutherland

223. Homecoming (Supergirl 2x14)

The One in which: Jeremiah is back and not everyone is thrilled about that.

34, Written by: Caitlin Parrish, Derek Simon, Directed by: Larry Teng

222. City of Blood (Arrow2 x21)

The One in which: Oliver wants to go all in, but Slade does it first.

44, Written by: Holly Harold, Directed by: Michael Schultz

221. Grodd Lives (The Flash 1x21)

The One in which: Eddie is tied up and Grodd makes himself known.

21, Written by: Grainne Godfree, Kai Yu Wu, Directed by: Dermott Downs

220. The Justice Society of America (Legends of Tomorrow 2x2)

The One in which: The Legends meet real heroes and are totally not jealous.

18, Written by: Chris Fedak, Sarah Nicole Jones, Directed by: Michael Grossman

219. What We Leave Behind (Arrow 5x9)

The One in which: Curtis gets beaten up and we return to Season 1.

101, Written by: Wendy Mercile, Beth Schwartz, Directed by: Antionio Negret

218. The Monsters (Stargirl 3x9)

The One in which: A heartattack stops a greater tragedy from happening.

40, Written by: Geoff Johns, Andi Armaganian

217. Haywire (Superman & Lois 1x4)

The One in which: Lois tries to bring down Morgan Edge while Jonathan’s world has shifted.

4, Written by: Michael Narducci, Directed by: James Bamford

216. Dancing Queen (Legends of Tomorrow 4x3)

The One in which: Ray goes undercover in a punk band.

54, Written by: James Eagan, Morgan Faust, Directed by: Kristin Windell

215. The Martian Chronicles (Supergirl 2x11)

The One in which: There is shapeshifter in the DEO.

31, Written by: Gabrial Llanas, Anna Musky-Goldwyn, Directed by: David McWhirter

214. Seeing Red (Arrow 2x20)

The One in which: Slade stabs.

43, Written by: Wendy Mercile, Directed by: Doug Aaroniokoski

213. Rogue Air (The Flash 1x22)

The One in which: Barry asks Captain Cold for help and the Amell Cousins are in a scene together.

22, Written by: Todd and Aaron Helbing, Directed by: Doug Aarniokoski

212. Out of Time (Legends of Tomorrow 2x1)

The One in which: The Legends are time scattered.

17, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Chris Fedak, Phil Klemmer, Marc Guggenheim, Directed by: Dermott Downs

211. Call to Action (Supergirl 4x6)

The One in which: The Children of Liberty screw up Friendsgiving.

71, Written by: Gabriel Llanas, Daniel Beaty, Directed by: Antionio Negret

210. The Darkest Place (Supergirl 2x7)

The One in which:Cybory Superman turns up and Kara is in jail.

27, Written by: Robert Rovner, Paula Yoo, Directed by: Glen Winter

209. Birds of Prey (Arrow 2x17)

The One in which: Helena is back and Canary tries to handle her.

40, Written by: Mark Bemesderfer, A. C. Bradley, Directed by: John Behring

208. Crazy for you (The Flash 1x12)

The One in which: Barry and Caitlin do Karaoke and Shawna does jai breaking.

12, Written by: Todd and Aaron Helbing, Directed by: Rob Hardy

207. Abnominations (Legends of Tomorrow 2x4)

The One in which: Martin is afraid of Zombies.

20, Written by: Marc Guggenheim, Ray Utarnachitt, Directed by: Michael Allowitz

206. White Knights (Legends of Tomorrow 1x4)

The One in which: Leonard’s flirting saves the day and Sara makes a new friend.

4, Written by: Sarah Nicole Jones, Phil Klemmer, Directed by: Antionio Negret

205. The Sound and the Fury (The Flash 1x11)

The One in which: Hartley does revenge.

11, Written by: Alison Shapker, Brooke Eikmeier, Directed by: John Showalter

204. The Chicago Way (Legends of Tomorrow 2x8)

The One in which: Eliot Ness get imporsonated and Mick hallucinates.

24, Written by: Sarah Nicole Jones, Ray Utarnachitt, Directed by: Ralph Hemecker

203. City of Heroes (Arrow 2x1)

The One in which: Oliver returns home and everything is different.

24, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Marc Guggenheim, Andrew Kreisberg, Directed by: John Behring

202. Angels and Ministers of Grace (Constantine 1x12)

The One in which: Manny and Zed become friends.

12, Written by: Christine Boylan, Directed by: Sam Hill

201. Kara (Supergirl 6x20)

The One in which: There is a wedding, a lot of fighting and an interview.

126, Written by: Jessica Queller, Robert Rovner, Rob Wright, Derek Simon, Directed by: Jesse Warn

[insomniac-jay]

Side South characters + more expys that are also important to The Plot

Ophelia Devereaux -> Sable's assistant and 10th generation witch. Smokes like it's nobody's fucking business but that's okay because she can just repair her lungs with magic

Tiyasa Kundu -> Dayna's best friend. A disabled Bengali-American roboticist, Tiyasa helped Dayna stabilize the power of the motor and made her suit and gadgets.

New Justice -> the South's very own Young Justice. Made up of Wavecrasher (Ximena Gutierrez), Racer (Lawen Summers), Rouge Raptor (Theo Mallard), Minotaur II (Andy), and Tsuru II (Celine Judge). Somehow just as, if more, unhinged than main YJ.

Jacinta Tylers -> Jaguar's mother and the ex wife of Al Tylers. She is the best mom and did everything she could to protect Minka and her sister from Al.

Jim Mallard -> Theo's father and the unofficial sponsor of New Justice. Embodiment of too much disposable income.

@mayameanderings @biandbored @fandomunsexyman

[onsunnyside]

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬 & 𝐂𝐨. 𝐀𝐔𝐬

𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞: all the CEvans daddies. organized by character. See 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐔𝐬 for more.

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 — Do not plagiarize, copy, repost/republish, adapt or translate any of my works. My blog is 18+, so minors DNI. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel, etc.). All my works are fiction and may be dark or have triggering content: read all warnings before proceeding.

All unnamed/not tagged prompts: #sonnysprompts

𝑨𝒏𝒅𝒚 𝑩𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒆𝒓:

Dark!Andy (uhm… you get knocked up)

𝑨𝒓𝒊 𝑳𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒏:

ari x brat!reader

baker!ari (lovesick needy!ari)

beefy sugar daddy!ari

cam!stepbro!ari

cult!Ari AU

college football player!frat boy!ari x cheerleader!reader (rivals with benefits)

daddy!ari x trophy wife!reader (to dilf!ari x milf!reader)

dilf roommate!ari

farm hand!ari

firefighter!ari

hunter!ari (dark)

lumberjack daddy!ari

mean mechanic daddy!ari

minotaur au: ari | bull hybrid!ari

orc!ari

older art professor!ari

police officer!ari

robber!Ari

roommate alpha!ari

shy best friend!ari has a crush on you

sleazy cop ari

stepdad!ari (dark doctor!ari)

stoner!ari x oblivious!reader

Sugar Daddy!Ari (with sugar baby!reader, sugar baby!ransom)

tattoo artist!ari

vampire king!ari x princess!reader

werewolf daddy ari (x runaway princess!reader)

𝑪𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒔 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕:

bad boy stepbro!curtis

Big boss daddy Curtis (ballerina AU)

Daddy Curtis

Lumberjack AU

minotaur au: curtis 

tattoo artist!curtis

𝑱𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏:

Soft Dark Jake Jensen

streamer bf!jensen

𝑱𝒐𝒉𝒏𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎:

FMX!Johnny Storm

𝑳𝒍𝒐𝒚𝒅 𝑯𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏:

Lloyd Hansen Basement Wife AU

Stache AU (cop AU & swim coach AU)

𝑴𝒓. 𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒛𝒚:

Mr. Freezy AU (hitman au)

𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒎 𝑫𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒆:

Sugar Daddy!Ransom

𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝑹𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒔 (& 𝑩𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚, 𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓):

Beauty and the Beast AU

dummies in love (himbo!steve x airhead)

Personal trainer!Steve

Priest!Steve

Professors Stucky AU

Street Racer AU (fast & furious AU)

[girafeduvexin]

"Y a du danger des victimes, un assassin assassine..."

Batjokes playlist, or "Chute libre"

1. Le Minotaure (Barbara) 2. Andy (Rita Mitsouko) 3. Boum Boum Boum (Mika) 4. Coups et blessures (BB Brunes) 5. Fais-moi mal Johnny (Carmen Maria Vega) 6. Salop(e) (THERAPIE TAXI) 7. Pas assez de toi (Mano Negra) 8. Le tango de l'amour et de la mort (Starmania) 9. L'Amour suicide (Circus) 10. C'est d'la faute à tes yeux (Edith Piaf) 11. Si je tombais (Christophe Willem) 12. Désir Désir (Vincent Delerm, Irène Jacob) 13. L'absinthe (Barbara)

[fobnsfwdoodles]

me personally i think you should edit the picture so that bull andy is holding his dick :3 (re: the tags on your drawing)

that might just be me being down horrendous though

That's okay, we can all be down horrendous together 🫶

[countesspetofi]

Classical/mythological/ancient Greek motifs I noticed in Glass Onion

The Cassandra/Helen thing

Blanc mentioning his Achilles heel

Blanc doing his thinking in the bathtub like Archimedes

Hercules is often depicted wearing the skin of the Nemean Lion; Duke wears a leopard skin print sarong and several items with a lion's head logo

Miles is like King Minos, hiring others to create his puzzles (the Labyrinth)

The use of Klear without further testing is compared to the Hindenburg, which has itself often been compared to the flight of Icarus

Whiskey's Taurus necklace makes me think of the Minotaur, which is related to Minos but I just can't seem to make the connection in the story

The word "clue" itself comes from the clew of thread that Ariadne gave to Theseus to get out of the Labyrinth

Matisse's painting "Icarus" hangs on the bathroom wall

Milea and Andi's company is Alpha, while the yacht, Blanc's wristwatch, and Lionel's brooch are all Omega

Andi drinks the drugged coffee from a mug with the double face of Janus on it, highlighting both Miles's deception and Andi's status as a twin

Birdie spent the night before they left for Miles's island at a place called "Poseidonion Grand Hotel”

[buckets-and-trees]

WIP Ask Game

So... @sergeantbarnessdoll @tom-whore-dleston @witchywithwhiskey @bigtreefest and @shamrockqueen all tagged me recently for this game, so here I finally am!

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPS.

Cedar Trees (King Steve) I'm Your Man (Mafia!Andy) President Steve Warm Shadows Epilogue Bolotnik Curtis check in Fine Line Bucky (mean!Alpha, dystopian) Fine Line Steve intro 2nd chance Neighbor Ari Exiled Nomad (I have four parts I'm working on for this) Neighbor Steve with side platonic BFF Bucky Villain Bucky Lake House Men = ANSWERED Radio Bucky = ANSWERED Chosen (redacted!Bucky, prominent side Nat & Steve) = ANSWERED Lloyd Autumn Iterations = ANSWERED Obsidian Stain (Tattoo Artists Ari & Curtis) = ANSWERED PR Ransom = ANSWERED Lloyd Cinderella = ANSWERED Minotaur Bucky sequel = ANSWERED Mafia Ari = ANSWERED

....I know, that's literally so many! 🫣 I know this has been going around a bunch of people the past few weeks, so if you already have been tagged, just ignore me! (But if I'm playing by the rules, I've got to tag 20 people...)

@ronearoundblindly @whatever-lmaoo @saiyanprincessswanie @krirebr @thezombieprostitute

@jamneuromain @mrs-elsie-barnes @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @bucksangel

@jen-with-a-pen @nickfowlerrr @mercurial-chuckles @stargazingfangirl18 @labella420

@biteofcherry @navybrat817 @sgt-seabass @jobean12-blog @caplanbuckybarnes

...and certainly anyone else who wants to play!

[beanscrypt]

Title : The Stone And The Bull

Chapter 1 : The Castle

Hello how’s it going this fine evening!

Characters :

Maddox Buchanan, our lovely dark brown fluffy 6’9”(nice) minotaur with big ole chocolate brown eyes. he/him

Ambros, our not-so-lovely and kind of slimy living marble statue, at 5’10 and a spooky wandering-the-halls vibe. it/its

Andi Noriam our femme, wonderfully smelly drifter standing at a whopping 5’6” who’s afab enby minus the tiddies. they/them

!WARNINGS!

[18+, smut, bit of spook, bit of edgy agro behaviour from Ambros borderline cnc, spelling mistakes (hopefully not), some real shnasty lemony stuff and some disgusting fluff, multiple parts??? SLOWBURN and I mean REALLY S L O W]

Wattpad link:

~art and images from Pinterest i obviously made nothing besides the words~

Cold and hungry they walked down the dirt road. Their bag weighed heavily on their shoulders, seeming to sink their feet into the ground further with each step. Knees weak and arms heavy they gripped the straps, their pockets too full for hands.

Their loose pants swaying, their legs on the brink of breaking, shoes worn and tattered held together by measly bits of string. They felt every rock and stick as they walked further down the path.

A rumbling of wheels in the distance shook them from their thoughts, their head snapped up and swivelled around looking for a hiding spot.

Bushes!

With barely a second thought they dove into the sharp shrub, thorns tearing at their messy hair and crusty clothes. Their arms shielding their face as they hit ground, knocking the wind from their lungs.

They wheezed silently and struggled for breath. A deep vile snickering from above them.

"Guess the goods came to us!" a group of men smiled and sneered, their teeth yellow and brown with rot.

They tried to back peddle, their hands pushing the leaves below them. A dizzying blow to the back of the head and the world began to drown. Their senses tired and lazy, legs too heavy to move. Bag ripped from their back and pockets emptied, they rushed into the woods.

They laid their head down, having nothing. So light, yet even heavier.

Booming steps leapt overhead, flinching and turtling they caught a glimpse of a brown blur heading in the same direction as the thieves.

Time passed, or did it? They looked around, shadows in a different spot than they were before, the sky now orange.

"Are you all right?" a warm, deep campfire voice asked.

They dragged their eyes upward, "please don't hurt me," they managed before their head dropped with a thunk.

He winced, "oh that's not good," he looked down and around, "may I pick you up?" He waited for a response and poked them with the tip of his hoof, "hello?"

No response.

"I'm picking you up," he leaned down, scooping them up and stepping over the bushes.

With one arm he held them against him and with the other he opened the carriage door. He sat them down on the opposite bench facing the front and placed their bag with all he could find next to them. "That should do it," he whispered to himself.

He looked up, their head flopped over, he pursed his lips and set a pillow under their head, "much better," he nodded to himself.

He leaned back and snapped, they were off back to his home!

He gazed out the window, as the trees opened up to an ornate gate, , gold leaves on black metallic vines weaving and twisting, garnet grapes hanging from them. They silently glided open as the white and gold carriage passed through.

He gently nudged them, their head lolling back and around before aching consciousness fell upon them again.

"How's your head?" He asked as the carriage stopped moving, they reached up their hand to their head, "ow," they winced.

He chuckled, his shoulders moving up with his caramel smile, they looked back at him with a furrowed smile, "where are we?"

"This," he opened the carriage door, "is my palace," he gestured out into the garden painted with golden light.

The vast and beautiful bailey overlooked the forest below the cliff. Rolling mountains, for miles trees, carpeting them, looking so small. They stepped out and down of the carriage taking in the view with a soul inhale as if they'd just taken a breath for the first time.

"You're welcome to stay," he followed, "there is more than enough for you too...if you'd like. He extended his arm, bag in hand.

They turned around, taking the time to process the view and offer.

"No one ever offers anything for nothing," they furrowed their brows and took a single step back.

"Of course, usually, I don't wish anything from you. I only offer a place to lay your head for as long as you need, nothing more," he put his hand up slightly as if shielding himself while reaching out with the other, bag in hand.

They thought about it and lifted their bag out of their hand, opened it and ruffled around, everything seemed to be back. They nodded with a side eye, "okay, seems okay."

The air seemed to grow lighter, not as heavy and thick as before.

"One thing I will warn you of-" he spoke out.

"What?" They narrowed their eyes, defences back up.

"There is this thing, this entity in the castle halls, something that roams around...I've never quite been able to see it." He looked back at the castle and then back at them. "Sometimes there's noises, footsteps more like," he explained with his hands, "something I can never catch, it usually happens at night...I advise you lock your door."

Silence.

Birds singing away in the forest beyond and crickets beginning their orchestra.

"That's the catch I guess," he tried to lighten the mood, "of course you can leave whenever you'd like." He took his shoulders in with a breath as he started walking towards the front doors.

They thought about going back out, the gate wide open. It would be so easy to leave, but out there hard to live. Here they would have everything, food, a bed, water and someone who seemed decent to talk to. They looked toward the castle, he was already halfway opening the right side door. He looked back at them waiting for them to decide.

A shakey step, another, the feel of the gravel beneath their paper-thin soles, they looked back at him. He tilted his head in question.

"I'm sorry, the gravel, uhm, kind of hurts," they called out as they scratched the back of their neck.

"Oh!" He touched his fingertips to his forehead, "of course!" he quickly pranced his way back to where they were standing, "do you mind if I..." he gestured.

"Oh, yeah of course," they lifted their arms awkwardly.

He once again scooped them up and easily hoisted them up, their arm around his neck, their faces inches from each other. He walked to the open door.

"How rude of me, I never told you my name, I am Maddox Buchanan," he snapped out of the trance in their eyes and said as he looked forward.

Their lip curled and they looked down, "I'm Andi...Noriam," they lookrf back up at him and smiled, "it's a pleasure to meet you Maddox."

"The pleasure is all mine," he smiled back.

Now inside the castle, he set them down on the polished stone floor, they looked around, ornate stucco climbed up pillars and danced on the ceiling. Candlelight glowed with the colours of the sunset beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows. A comfortable warmth reached their bones as the stone chilled their feet.

"Do you think I could get a bath?" they asked up at Maddox, as he looked down at them.

"Of course, follow me" he started walking towards the stairs, Andi followed. "Sometimes it seems as if the castle shifts," he chuckled anxiously as he looked up the stairs.

They climbed them side by side, "that's a bit unsettling," Andi responded, "how long have you lived here?"

"I came to this castle when I was young, the castle is..." he scanned for words, "magical...somehow the grass is always kept, the floors polished and food made, even though the kitchen is always empty." He went on, "I was alone, having lost my home, I've tried to find whoever does this, I have a couple theories if you'd like to hear them."

Andi hanging onto every word, "do tell, I'm invested."

He smiled, "well in that case, you see the strange entity that escapes my view?"

They nodded, and he continued, "I suspect it is the same entity that does all the work around the castle and-"

Andi cut him off, "wait then if it's good, then why did you suggest I lock my door?"

He nodded, "I don't know the reasoning, is something I've never uncovered."

They shrugged, "maybe it doesn't want to be uncovered?" Andi gasped, "could it be afraid of us as much as we are of it?"

The gears in Maddox's head began to turn, "I guess I've never thought of it that way...I guess, it was my childhood fear taking the reigns on this situation." He paused as they came to the top of the stairs.

"It has never done me any harm, or shown any sort of malicious intent, just always dodging my sight," he looked left, "uh, this way," he gestured and led Andi to their room.

"I guess I grew accustomed to having a sort of fear in the back of my mind not knowing exactly what it was, even if it wasn't malevolent." He said as they came to a set of white and gold double doors.

He pulled on the curling golden handles and opened up to the lightest periwinkle-tinted room with pale golden leaves sprawling the ceiling. Mother of pearl and her children adorned the half columns in the walls, spiralling and swirling around.

The giant four-poster bed, the beach white wooden pillars twisted around each other, cream and white drapes, adorned around the top creating a second roof over the silvery blue bed.

On the far side of the bed to the right of the door, a floor-to-ceiling window that opened up onto a balcony overlooking the forest beyond the drop-off. Next to it, a marble table, papers, pens and pigments of all colours. They both stepped inside.

Andi had never seen such splendour as they had seen within the walls of the castle, and now this was a place they could call home. They turned to look back at Maddox, the wall next to the door was the biggest mirror they had ever seen embedded in the wall, shimmering decor surrounding it, bringing it back and forth from the wall.

"This is all so..." they let out a soft exhale, "beautiful," they said as they turned back to Maddox in the doorway.

He blinked focus back from a smile, "there is a bathroom beyond that door," he pointed to a double set of doors to the far left of the bed which were slightly ajar.

"Feel free to take as long as you need, a bell will ring when dinner has been laid out at the table," he smiled and stepped out, "if there is anything you need, I'm happy to be of assistance."

Andi nodded, not wanting to leave his presence, hoping he would stay. Maddox lingered for a moment, hoping they would ask for anything they could think of. They hung on for a moment, both waiting for the other to say something.

To say stay.

To say, 'may I join you?'

Maddox looked at his hooves turned and closed the door behind him. He ran his hands through his shaggy mane, and let out a long exhale as he made his way to his room to freshen up.

They looked around the bathroom, the bathtub in the corner of the room with a wide brim. The opalescent gleam of the tinted pink marble of the floor, the shells around the ceiling with images of the warm golden oceans. An hourglass shaped mirror as big as the one in the room, adorned with golden leaves, reflected them. On the opposite side was a window, the balcony outside wrapping around to meet it.

They made their way to the tub, “how do you do this?” They puzzled around it, twisting and turning things.

“I wish this would turn on,” they frowned to themselves.

As soon as the last words left their lips water roared from the faucets, and out of the fountain spits higher up halfway to the ceiling. Gentle showers began to rain from scrolled shower heads.

“Wow…” the sight softly left them breathless.

The tub began to fill and soon enough they stepped in, the warmth soaked their skin and embraced their bones.

“Mmmmmm,” They let out while closing their eyes and tilting their head back as they sunk deeper into the water. Their long hair expanding out enveloping them in a cloud of curls.

Sleep splayed her veil over their eyes, they lazily scanned the wide rim for soap and behold next to a bar of it lay a dusty purple sponge.

They grabbed and lathered it up, and began scrubbing their skin. The water began to turn murky and it began to drain. Andi looked around and found two vases full of a sort of syrup, they dipped their finger into it and smelled it, a soapy sweet smell, a lavender scent filled their nose.

“It’s for your hair” a light whisper breezed past their ears.

They dropped into the rising water.

Their scream carried by the steam.

“WHOS THERE?” Their eyes darted around the room.

Window closed.

Door closed. Was there another way in?

Maddox stepped out, it wasn’t his voice.

Silence, only the waterfall of the fountains going.

[mallahanmoxie]

i read some books this year and because i can im going to talk about them. the yearly what-will-simba-attempt-to-pick-up book list is coming, i just have to decide. 2022 was a surprisingly fruitful year despite the horrifyingly devastating beginning of it (i don't think i read a single book til the end of march) and the first year i met my reading goal of 10 books a year :) in order under the cut

sing me to sleep by r.m. virtues. 2.75 ⭐

this was my first published erotica ever and it was fine. it's about a girl who's dad dies in a home invasion and she's understandably traumatized so she takes some sleeping pills and gets fucked by an antler demon in her sleep. not nearly as creepy as it sounds and it is to its detriment, but it's a decent thing, i just don't really vibe with erotica as i've come to find. if there's plot i don't care about the sex and if there's only sex then i don't care about the book. the antlers were cool tho.

a week to be wicked by tessa dare. 3.75 ⭐

this is a regency bodice ripper (?) where a budding geologist with her knickers in a twist cajoles a rakish viscount? earl? whomever into """"eloping""" with her so she can get a fossil up to scotland in a week. they do fuck. it was fine. the romance was nice, the characters were somewhat fun if supremely uninventive, and the whole thing was atmospheric. the mc never let up with the nit like other girls thing tho which cost it at least half a star

paradais by fernanda melchor. 3.75 ⭐

read it in spanish, super short, very mexican. some boy is a high school dropout working as a gardener in a luxury residential complex bc his mama forced him to and he Hates his life and wishes he could join a cartel like his brother in law and his cunt of a pregnant cousin is living in his house and taking his bed and as he's drowning in the oppressive monotony of poverty and corruption he makes friends with a fat rich kid who is addicted to porn and obsessed with his neighbor's hot trophy wife and it all ends in tragedy. i told you it was very mexican. this book was Commentary and very little else. i did not like it, but the ending hit. But also i had a gig on a complex similar like the one he works in and i gotta tell you i found the book incredibly relatable in those two hours

unequal affections by lara s. Ormiston 3.75 ⭐

or how i like to call it: going in and out of rooms, the book. this is a pride and prejudice canon divergence book where elizabeth actually accepts darcy's first proposal despite her not loving him, they go back to longbourn, she "can't say she loves him yet, honestly, it's been two days", he gets upset, exits the room. that's the book. like, it's decent fanfiction, but its best feature is how it highlights how dynamic pride and prejudice's second half is originally. i spent a good third of this book thinking oh im glad jane austen didn't do this, but it's not a bad book

project hail mary by andy weir. 4.5⭐

standard scifi and andy weir stuff. guy wakes up amnesiac in the middle of nowhere, space shoved inside a spacecraft and as he regains bits of his memory he remembers there are tiny alien microbes eating the sun back home and HE is the hero supposed to Save The Day. except he doesn't remember shit and his crew died on the way. fun stuff. the science bits were massively interesting, albeit clunky at times. the relationship between the leads was incredibly heartwarming, though, and i thought the ending was lovely

morning glory milking farm by c.m. nascosta. 3.75 ⭐

this was my second erotica i purposefully read for the sex on it and it was an improvement but my favourite bits were the romance so like, take that as you will. in this book mythological creatures have fallen prey to capitalism and modernity so the mc lands a job where she has to jerk off minotaurs on the daily bc their sperm has useful enzymes or something and there's one minotaur who particularly enjoys it so they date. not much of a plot besides the romance, but they were cute. funny to think about like, the fur. it's really not as crazy as people made it out to be, though. (edit: the jerking off is voluntary btw my mans goes there on his lunch break)

half a soul by olivia atwater. 4 ⭐

aw this was a lovely little fantasy regency book about a girl who encounters a faerie when young who steals half her soul so she's very odd for most of society and has to help her cousin get a husband so they both don't end up destitute or something, and she ends up mixed in with the going ons of the ptsd ridden royal wizard man. this was very cute, and also i read it while i was reading the making of the english working class so i was quite pleased to find some horrible factory working conditions in the book for me to be like oh!! Historical accuracy!!! (minus the fae)

how high we go in the dark by sequoia nagamatsu. 4 ⭐

oh i did not like this but it's very good. it's just cloyingly heavy, and there were too many stories i simply did not care for. but they were all done so well i ended every chapter like well, but it has a point. anyway this is a scifi that basically follows the course of humanity over millennia and the development of technology, industry and human relationships mostly around the institutionalization of grief (i found this believable but silly) and it begins after a woman dies on a scientific expedition on the artic and they find the mummy of a prehistoric girl who died of a virus that begins a pandemic of alien inclination. there were some spectacular chapters, my fave being city of laughter (the illness affects primarily children at first and they die at such a rate someone decides to open an amusement park where the kids can have a good last day and die on the loop of a rollercoaster. Fucking insane.) and pig son (scientist who lost his son is researching the illness on a pig to grow viable organs and the new pig starts talking and behaving like a boy).

sea of tranquility by emily st. john mandel. 4.75 ⭐

the book i rated highest this year, but not quite a five star. i just loved the way that this was written. how the writer structured her paragraphs and chapters-- and the voices! i loved edwin and his patterns of thought. this a book that also happens in centuries, but instead of humanity, it follows three people (a man exiled to canada in the turn of the century, a woman from a moon colony giving the last book tour on earth and a man with an aimless life in that same colony centuries afterwards) that are connected by an odd moment in time, like a glitch. i felt like it did what how high we go in the dark attempted but much better bc it was more self contained. the ambiance was amazing, and if I'd liked the central character more, i probably would've given it 5 stars

comfort me with apples by catherynne m. valente. 4.5 ⭐

this was my actual favourite book of the year, bc i think about the ending and just. Lie there. i told my friend about it and we cried about the unfairness of being a woman together lol anyway this is a super short book about a perfect woman with a perfect husband living in a house too big for her whose perfect life gets interrupted when she finds a lock of hair in a drawer on her vanity that doesn't belong to her and it's not the only body part she finds. it's really creepy at times, and the ENDING man i keep thinking about one line i truly was the perfect person to read this book because i did not see the ending coming until we were already on the last chapters and i frankly think this is a splendid little book it dragged a little at the middle but i think upon reread knowing the full context it'd be spectacular

dark matter by blake crouch. 4 ⭐

this was a fine book, but i think my disappoinment with it stems from the fact it was advertised to me as extremely fucked up and creepy and, like, it wasn't. in theory, it's a strong concept — a "failed" scientist gets kidnapped and forcefully sent into a parallel universe where he's a successful awarded man but he only wants to get back to his family and has to brave the multiverse that his doppelganger created access to. he finds a lot of shit, there's some mildly fucked up scenarios, but none of it is truly scary. the voice of the mc is very much, like, white male, tho. it did bother me. also everyone in this book is white which added to my disappoinment. as a scifi it works tho, as a multiverse is okay

laska by k. webster. 2 ⭐

i guess this counts as erotica but like, don't. it's bad. i read it in a feverish half hour to stall my growing panic attack while in the middle of writing a final paper, and like, the corniness did shock me into calmness. it's 26 pages of a pair of incestuous brothers living in the woods, how they get together and start eating people. a tiktok got me in the exact right moment and i suffered for it mfs were so fuckin corny 🙄

book lovers by emily henry. 4 ⭐

this was my last book of the year and a nice surprise. i avoided this novel because i was afraid it'd be too self referential (i hate writers writing writer characters, which i know is hypocritical but they never do it right), but it was quite alright. it's almost a hallmark movie parody about a ruthless literary agent and a book editor who have a "rivalry" (they're, like, barely acquaintances, let alone enemies) and find themselves in the same little town for a month. everybody says this authors writes the same characters and i can't tell you if she does, but they have very good chemistry. the book is more about the mc and her relationship with her sister, which i enjoyed. overall a nice wrap up to the year.