#mine. these games have fucking ruined my life /j

[imp-thing]

guess who's Detective Grimoire hyperfix is turning two years old in two days

[hxseok-honee]

sundress || part 8

written portion under the cut!

sundress [part 8] || weirdly normal

previous || masterlist || next

a/n : ['cause you're a one in a million // there ain't no man like you] streets x doja cat

taglist [open] :

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Saturday, 18 September, 4:33pm

“Sex?”

“No sex.”

“Not even a little bit of sex?! Just like, once a week!” Y/n lifts her head to level Yoongi with a glare, one that has him shrinking back and whispering ‘okay, no sex’. With a shake of her head, she’s dipping her head again, focusing in on the roll of parchment in her lap.

They’re sitting face to face on her bed, each holding some parchment and a quill as they try to ‘negotiate fair terms for their arrangement’, as Y/n had put it when Yoongi had complained about not needing rules.

Y/n’s making the final list of rules on her own parchment, Yoongi tearing off scraps of his and submitting suggestions, most of them sexual in nature. There’s a pile of rejects next to him, but he’s yet to lose hope. Ripping off another piece of paper, he scribbles ‘blowjobs?’ quickly and folds it in half, handing it over to her with a smile. She doesn’t even look up or open it, immediately crumpling it and throwing it back at him. It hits him squarely between the eyes.

Blinking once, he tears off another piece, unfazed - this one says ‘so no head?’. Somehow that one also hits him between the eyes.

“Okay — what do you think?” Y/n sits up straight with a smile, offering Yoongi her draft of the Rules List. He looks it over, eyebrows raised.

No sex!!

Romantic affection is to be kept to public situations as much as possible.

Saturday Night Routine is to remain untouched and untainted.

Min Yoongi must keep his scumminess to a minimum in private.

He finishes reading before looking up, eyes deadpan.

“You are so fucking boring.” Y/n scoffs, reaching out to take the parchment back, but he’s holding it above his head, grabbing for his quill. Quickly he scribbles a fifth rule, one that says “MAKE JEON JUNGKOOK SUFFER” in his chicken scratch. And then he looks up at her, another thought on his mind.

“We should have practice sessions.” Y/n furrows a brow, eyeing him with suspicion.

“What does that mean, and why do I already not like it?” He taps a finger on Rule #2, underlining the words ‘public situations’ lightly with his quill.

“We’re gonna be doing most of this stuff in public, so you’re gonna have to get used to getting freaky with me in public spaces. Library, broom closets, empty corridors and classrooms — that’s what I’m known for.” He looks almost proud when he says it, and Y/n can’t help her amused smile even as she shakes her head in disappointment.

“How are you so fundamentally gross as a person?” He grins back because she’s clearly fond of him, so he feels no shame in how he is, only explaining further.

“If the entirety of Hogwarts is gonna believe I’m taken and off the market, you’re gonna have to keep up with me, babe.” Y/n rolls her eyes, knowing he’s right despite not wanting to admit that. If Yoongi’s putting in the work to make it seem like he’s committed to her, she should at least meet him halfway. And Min Yoongi is a lot of things, but being a total sex fiend is what most people know him to be. She is gonna have to keep up.

“You realize it’s obvious you’re just trying to find somewhere to let out all your sexual frustration, right?” He doesn’t respond, only lifting an eyebrow, silently asking if she’s okay with that. After a moment, she’s sighing, pointing down at the list in his lap.

“Alright, fine. But we need rules for that, too.” He groans, throwing himself backwards onto her mattress dramatically.

“Why do you enjoy ruining every good thing in my life?” When she kicks at his thigh, he’s rolling over onto his stomach, flattening the parchment out in front of him so he can write the word ‘Sessions’, underlining it quickly. And then he looks at her.

“What are you comfortable doing?” She purses her lips, a smile dancing there, because she notices that he doesn’t make it about him and what he is and isn’t allowed to do. He makes it about her and respecting her boundaries. And she knows, by the way he’s tilting his head in confusion when she only smiles down at him, that he has no idea that he’s made that distinction. If he were anyone else, she’d be incredibly attracted to him right now.

But he is him. So she’s blinking that thought away, humming as she considers his question.

“Nothing below the belt…” He nods, writing as she speaks.

“Can I touch your butt?” When she lets out a noise of confusion, he’s looking up at her again. “Like, hand in your pocket while we walk, ass grabbing— that stuff.”

“Oh.” She hadn’t thought of that. She nods after a moment, not seeing the harm in him doing that. “Sure? Not my boobs, though.”

Immediately, he’s flopping backwards onto the bed again, whininess coating his voice when he complains.

“But I already felt everything in the shower! What’s the difference—Ow! Okay!” She’s pushed her feet up against his torso, kicking at him aggressively until he’s rolled away to where she can’t reach him. And then he’s pouting, making grabby hands at her for emphasis while he continues, at a distance now where he can complain safely.

“You know I’d pick tits over ass any day! You’re just doing this to hurt me.” Y/n only smiles mockingly, reaching out to tap a finger on the paper.

“Don’t forget to write ‘no boobs’ there, too!” Yoongi grimaces, rolling back toward her and picking up his quill, angrily scratching the words into the parchment.

“Okay, anything else?” He’d made a big fuss about not being able to touch her boobs, but he’s already over it, and — again — Y/n finds herself full of adoration that Yoongi will never push her boundaries, already having accepted them even when he was complaining about them.

You’re just all bark and no bite, aren’t you?

“Actually, I do bite. I like biting. Why do you ask?” Fighting the urge to smack the palm of her hand to her forehead at the realization that she’d said that aloud, Y/n shakes her head at Yoongi, who seems innocently confused. He shrugs when she doesn’t explain, his eyes lighting up when he thinks of something.

“We should do kinks.” Y/n rolls her eyes.

“Absolutely not—"

“Why not?! We’re gonna figure out what we like eventually if we’re doing these practice sessions, so why not talk about it?” He looks childishly enraged, his pout returning. She only laughs at him, shaking her head.

“Because we’re not doing anything sexual, so what’s the point?” He sighs, sitting up and facing her, crossing his legs as he goes.

“Kinks don’t have to be sexual, you big nerd. It’s not about the sex — it’s about the trust.” Y/n blinks, not having expected him to say something so serious.

“Okay… but if it’s about the trust, how are you acting on all your kinks with the other people? You don’t really know them.” He smiles softly, shaking his head.

“I usually don’t, actually. I just do whatever they want.” Y/n gapes at him, unable to believe that Yoongi had been holding back this whole time.

“So, if someone’s into choking—"

“It’s up to them if they want to trust me to do that for them. Obviously, I’d never go too far, but everyone’s trust thresholds are different. Mine’s just really high, so I always made it about them instead.” He shrugs while he says it, as if they’re talking about what he’d had for lunch and not the surprising weight he puts on trust in sexual situations.

“And you wanna explore that stuff now? With me? We’re not even together.” He tilts his head in confusion again.

“Yeah? There’s no one I trust more than you.” Y/n thinks her head might actually start spinning, because Min Yoongi’s brain is just not wired the same as hers. His ability to be both incredibly simple about his life outlook and shockingly nuanced about the inner workings of his mind — he’s more than just confident and sure of himself. He’s completely self-aware. It’s not the first time she’s been stupidly fond of him, but right now, she thinks he’s amazing.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Y/n blinks, realizing she’s just been staring at him that entire time. She shakes her head, slightly dazed, not even noticing that Yoongi’s looking at her with suspicious eyes. Pointing back to the list, she clears her throat awkwardly.

“Yeah, sure, kinks. But — I’m not telling you shit, it’s embarrassing. Figure it out yourself.” Eyebrows flying to his hairline, Yoongi reaches for the quill slowly, uncertainly.

“For real? You’re down?” She nods, trying to move on already, but Yoongi’s not letting it go, even as he writes it down. “Like… a game, then? We just test shit and see how we react? Because I already know you like having your hair pulled—“

“Oh my— Yoongi!” He snickers at her embarrassment, shaking his head. She has no reason to be shy, he thinks to himself. I’m the last person she has to worry about.

“So…” He glances up at her from where he lies, his eyes full of mischief. Y/n eyes him suspiciously, because he’s definitely about to say something stupid.

“Should we start now, then?” Lifting himself up onto all fours, he starts to crawl over to her, a smirk dancing on the edges of his lips — one that’s hidden quickly by the hand Y/n’s planting on his face, stopping him from coming any closer.

“Get out of my room, Yoongi.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Redirecting, Yoongi heads for the edge of the bed, sliding his sneakers on before standing. “I’ll be back in a couple hours—“ Turning, he cuts himself off, leaning down into Y/n’s face and smiling fondly when she backs away, rightfully wary of him.

“Kiss, please.” She’s immediately glaring, and he’s pointing down at the list on her bed, affronted. “You said Saturday Night Routine has to remain untouched — I still have like 2 hours until then. Kiss, please.”

With an irritated sigh, Y/n leans up, cupping Yoongi’s face and pressing her lips gently to his. Even knowing he’s probably got something up his sleeve, she’s unprepared for him to nibble at her bottom lip, trying to deepen the kiss. Pulling away quickly, she’s smacking at his arm indignantly, glaring when he laughs openly, his shoulders shaking as he does. He leans down quickly, pressing one last kiss to her lips before ducking out of the way of her swinging fist, chuckling to himself as he slings his bag over his shoulder and heads for the door.

“Don’t forget to choose something for us to watch while I pick up our food, okay? I’m not tryna let my dinner get cold because you’re indecisive.”

“That only happened once!” He shoots her a grin over his shoulder as he’s pulling her door open, his eyes amused.

“Love you!” Y/n rolls her eyes at the sing-song way he says it, responding with an annoyed ‘yeah, love you too’ as he’s closing the door behind him. She sits on her bed in silence for a few moments, vaguely disgruntled as she looks down at their list of rules and thinks about that entire conversation.

That was… weirdly normal.

[jawabear]

Din Djarin NSFW Alphabet

Not my GIF

A/N: Thank you for all the support on my last fic! it really didn’t deserve all those notes though.. But nonetheless, here is my NSFW alphabet for everyone's favourite Mandalorian (okay, maybe not everyone, but certainly mine). As with my other ones, my ideas and opinions may differ to yours and others so please be respectful of mine and others’ views of different characters. Enjoy. Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe.

Genre: smut

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of sexual activities, no actual sex though, Pedro Pascal comes with his own warning 

Summary: An A-Z of Din Djarin’s bedroom antics...

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Din is a little awkward to begin with. He doesn’t really know what to do after sex. It’s usually you who ends up taking care of him after sex. But as time goes on and you end up having sex more often, he gets a little more comfortable.

And from this he will make sure you’re okay, not hurt or anything. He will ask if you need anything, if you’re thirsty or hungry. And then he will hold you until you fall asleep because he’s cute like that.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On him, he’s not really bothered. He hadn’t every really thought about himself in that regard. And plus being covered in armour doesn’t really aid him in his decision making. But if he had to choose, he’d probably say his hands. They’re useful for many things. Fighting, shooting, fixing, flying and fingering...

On you, because he’s a soft little boy, he’d go with your eyes. He is a strong believer in the concept of the eyes being the window to the soul. And with you that is very much the case. He loves to look into your eyes, he’ll get lost in them in seconds. But more sexual the loves your legs. Especially your thighs. He loves to stroke them and squeeze them. And he loves when they press against his head as he eats you out....

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

When he does come it’s quite an overwhelming amount to be honest. He doesn’t really like to come inside you (unless you specifically say) because there is a lot and always the chance of pregnancy and neither he nor you feel ready for that. Plus he feels like he’s dirtying you and he doesn’t want to ruin your perfect body.

But, he will do what you say. So, if you want him to come inside you, over you, whatever, he will.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Saying that though ^^ It’s fair to say that Din has a slight breeding kink. Slight being huge. It more to do with the fact that he does what to have a child with you. But also he would find it hot to fill you up completely.

He obviously hasn’t said anything but it’s hard to keep his thoughts at bay when you’re begging him to come inside you and you’re wrapping you legs around his waist to pull him closer to you...

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Din isn’t all that experience. He’s never really cared much about sex before he met you. He had done it once or twice in his life but he didn’t really care much for it, he didn’t really have the time. He was far to preoccupied with his bounty hunting work to find a suitable partner. So it was kind of down to you to teach him. But you didn’t really mind.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He loves the classic missionary position. It’s easy and enjoyable.

But he is also a huge fan of you being on top, riding him. He loves to have you take control. And it gives him a better opportunity to feel your body.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Certainly more serious. I don’t think Din is a very jokey person in or out of the bedroom. Sometimes you will try and make it a bit lighter but it doesn’t really work. Not that that’s a problem...

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Being covered head to toe in armour means that Din doesn’t really need to bother with his appearance both upstairs and down. So he’s not particularly tidy. But as you haven’t voice any complaints (quite the opposite actually) he hasn’t bothered to tidy himself up down there.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Din goes full romantic in bed. He will touch and feel every part of your body. He will caress and kiss every inch of your skin. He will make love to you. Because he has someone who loves him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Personally, I don’t think he gets the same satisfaction from touching himself then he would from fucking you.

There are a few occasions in which he has got himself off to the thought of you. But I think he would only do it as a last resort.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He had a hidden (but massive) breeding kink as mentioned.

I don’t know if the blindfold thing really counts as one because he does it so you can’t see his face while he fucks you but if it counts then this is a big one.

Also biting. Din is quite possessive and wants to mark you as much as he possibly can so that everyone know you belong to the Mandalorian. Plus it helps in muffling his moans, one) so he can hear yours better, and 2) he gets a little shy and embarrassed at hearing his own...

Does dry-humping count? Because that too. A big one. Just something about it really gets him going, plus it saves him having to faff with getting all his armour off.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Inside somewhere he knows and trusts. So mainly his ship, in his bed.

Although, there is the rare occasion he will take you in the cockpit. He will sit in the pilots chair and you will ride him. That’s about the only other exception to his bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

To be honest, I think it would take quite a lot to get Din going. Being a little sexually naive, I think you’d have to really go out of your way to turn him on. Meaning therefore that it is mostly you who initiates sex.

But there is the odd occasion that he will suddenly be in the mood for it. And then he doesn’t really hold back...

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

I don’t think there’s a lot that he would do. At least in the early stages. He very much stuck to the basics because he found it enjoyable and he didn’t really need anything else. But when you started...let’s just say you were getting a little bored, you tried to coax him into branching out in his sexual preferences.

He would never hurt you. That was for certain. He doesn’t find tying you up to be all that appealing either, but if you really wanted him to do it he wouldn’t say no, he just perhaps wouldn’t enjoy it as much. He relates it too much to bounty hunting and he doesn’t think that’s a good mix, but you disagree.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He definitely prefers giving. Out of everything he’s done to you sexual, eating you out and fingering you has to be what he’s best at. Especially oral.

But he wouldn’t ever say no if you wanted to suck him off...in his pilots chair... because no one in their right mind would turn it down.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends on his mood. Although, saying that, he doesn’t often take his bad mood out on you. It’s on those days (where a bounty has been particularly hard or frustrating) that he will be the one to initiate sex. And you certainly don’t complain. And it is also on those days where he is a little more rough and fast.

But most of the time he likes to take it slow. It is something he enjoys and something he wants to take his time in doing.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He isn’t a fan. He doesn’t find them enjoyable as much as he would taking his time.

They have happens a few times, but by accident. As in you were taking it slow but something would come up, beeping and blaring of alarms would start and he would have to go quick to finish because he didn’t want to just stop.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He probably would be once you both started to get a bit more comfortable and adventurous. It’s still a learning process for Din so it’s a gradual thing but he’s all about making you happy and fulfilled so he will try most things you suggest whether they be risky or not.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Din is a tiered man. Let him rest. Chances are he can really only go one round, but he knows this and makes it the best damn round you’ve ever had.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He certainly does not use them. (He probably doesn’t even know about a lot of them).

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He kind of is a tease but he kind of isn’t. It depends on the mood. It’s he is going fast then he’s more likely to tease to rile you up more, but more often then not he just lets things happen in the bedroom.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Din isn’t much of a talker. He’s very much the silent but deadly type and he’s mostly the same in bed too. He isn’t partially loud, but he’s also not particularly quiet either. He isn’t a constant moaner, but lets just say it’s very easy for you to know when you’re doing something right and making him feel good. Then he will be a bit louder.

But he gets a bit embarrassed at the noises and buries his head in your neck to silence himself despite you telling him you want to hear him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He really really really wants to watch you get off. He’s heard you do it (not that you know that) and you sounded to be really enjoying yourself so he wants to watch you. And maybe learn a thing or two about how to properly touch you.

But yes, he really desperately wants to watch you touch yourself, maybe he’d touch himself too...

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I don’t think it’s a secret that he packing. He tries to act all cool about it saying things like “I’m not that big, am I?” But we all know he’s full of shit. He knows he’s that big. But to be fair, he hasn’t ever seen any other one so he doesn’t really have anything to compare it too.

But we all know that man is huge...

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s surprisingly low. Again, it depends on his mood or the day. He isn’t constantly in the mood for sex. Which he guessed made it more enjoyable.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Din finds it difficult to sleep for many reasons. But sex always seems to relax him enough he falls asleep almost instantly. Of course, after making sure you’re okay.

Which is why you will often fuck him after a long day just so he will sleep.

13/12/20

[sweeethinny]

Wildflower

Summary: Lily thought she was doing okay, trying to believe that at the end of the path there would be a light, but the further she walked, the darker it got. Trapped in fear and in all those feelings that collapsed in her chest and made her feel smaller and smaller, Lily tried to save herself as she struggled to change the course of her story.

AO3 | FF.NET | PLAYLIST

Notes: This story was born out of a very strong desire of mine to write about good cheerleaders, and a friendlier atmosphere among the girls, and not that silly, unpleasant competition that we always see in books. Jily is the main couple, other couples will appear as the story progresses, but they are the main ones, and as much as Lily has been dating Snape at the beginning, this story is *NOT* a romance story between the two of them. This story is about Lily and James!

This story will talk about abusive relationships, but I promise it will have a happy ending.

------

| J. P |

The party was full, tumultuous as usual, the music loud, the side conversations making everything seem even more confusing, the drinks glasses never emptying in people's hands, and the more the night fell, the more it seemed that everyone was less caught up in the shyness of the beginning. Some freshmen were already dancing on the table, others challenged the seniors to a beer pong, and some tried their luck with the older ones.

James walked out of the living room and into the kitchen, already feeling very drunk, needing to shake his head so that the three redheads in the corner became just one, as well as trying to make sure his feet worked well enough for him not to trip over his own sneaker. The kitchen of the house seemed full of obstacles now, all the cabinets seemed to move like a video game, preventing him from continuing to walk normally, which made him even more confused as to where he had to go.

He shouldn't have accepted Sirius' stupid idea of ​​starting drinking before everyone else arrived, because now James could barely focus his vision and… Where were his glasses?

"Hi," he said, and his tongue felt bigger than his mouth. What was in that drink? ‘'Have you seen my glasses?'’ The red-haired girl seemed to be trying hard not to laugh, and James thought that if it weren't for her hair, the black outfit she was wearing would make him think she was part of the furniture and not a person .

"Hm…" She seemed to think, but James didn't understand why. Then her delicate hand reached up to touch his eyes, and he took a step back, startled, but instead of feeling her fingers, he felt nothing. "They're onyour face, but they're a little dirty."

"Thanks!" James sighed in relief, picking up his glasses to clean them; this time the redhead became five instead of one. Either he was really drunk, or he really needed to see an ophthalmologist. "You're very kind." He pointed to what he thought was the real girl.

'’Is this guy bothering you Lily?'’ A voice rang out loud behind James, he didn't know who it was but he knew the person wasn't as nice as the redhead, since he was pulled away from her and nearly knocked to the ground for his lack of balance. The person however didn't care. "Get away from her, you asshole."

"I wasn't doing anything." They were the same height, James could see that, and he had long black hair, almost matching Sirius'. But he knew he couldn't be him, because the voice wasn't the same, but also because the man in front of him was weaker and thinner than Black. "Hey!" James tried to defend himself as he was pushed again.

"Sev, stop it." The redhead pleaded, and this time her voice wasn't as cheerful as before, as if all of her happiness had suddenly been sucked away.

But before James could say anything, the man punched him in the face, and if it had been normal, he would have defended himself or maybe retaliated, but he was drunk, very drunk, so his body just fell back and James felt his head ache.

"Severus!" The redhead yelled, but James didn't remember much after that, because everything seemed like a jumble of thoughts and people were all blurs. At some point he remembers hearing Sirius' voice saying ''He's drunk, what the fuck do you have in your mind!?'' and, it seemed, a few minutes later he heard the redhead's voice saying ''He's bleeding.'' and it was the last thing James' drunk brain could understand.

| L. E |

"Why did you have to screw it up?!" Lily asked, annoyed and frustrated by all the drama. It was so tiring, always this fear that something would piss him off and he would completely lose his mind, and then Lily would have all those looks at her, a mixture of pity and judgment.

The party was supposed to be a different, relaxed time, they were supposed to have fun, have a drink, and Lily was finding it all good. Well, she had been in the kitchen since they arrived, but at least they were there so she couldn't complain.

She laughed when one of the freshmen climbed onto the table and nearly fell, or when she saw that boy come into the kitchen and looked more drunk than anyone else at the party, barely able to walk in a straight line, wondering where his glasses were. It was so fun to be surrounded by so much life, it was as if in that party there was no sadness and loneliness.

But he had to ruin all her happiness, like he always did.

'’Me? Are you going to blame me?’’ Snape yelled, even though he knew their friends were sleeping. Lily shook her head, too tired to fight, putting a hand to her temples to try to get her thoughts to sort themselves out in her mind. Take a deep breath, Lily, she thought, take a deep breath and count to ten.

"You're the one who punched him needlessly." Lily looked at him, trying to find in him that friend he'd once been, kind, lovely, who said he'd give the world to her. But now, Severus had turned into this man who seemed to have only two moods; completely angry or tame like a well-trained dog.

"He was touching you," he muttered, and anger seemed to burn in his black eyes. Which was reflected in the burning in Lily's chest.

‘’He wasn't touching me. He was drunk and wanted to know where his glasses were.” She said through clenched teeth, trying to take a few deep breaths before she exploded as usual, acting crazy and screaming whatever came to mind without a second thought. She needed to have more control of her feelings.

‘’Are you really dumb enough to believe that? He just wanted to fuck you.” Severus retaliated, and that made her take a step back into their small room, her calf touching the old sofa they had bought when they moved. Her eyes burned, tears of sadness and anger, mixtures that felt like sulfuric acid on her skin, but she wouldn't let them fall, not even one.

Severus seemed to realize the mistake he had made then, and his armor fell away, reverting to that tame dog.

"Lils, I didn't mean that." He sighed, as if he was the one tired of having to explain himself. It made her feel much smaller than before, making Lily think that maybe she could just disappear at any moment.

'’Forget it, I'm going to sleep'’ Lily tried to leave the room towards their bedroom but, as usual, Severus grabbed her arm and kept her there, his black eyes now seeming softer, as if all the anger had melted away and turned into sugar.

"I'm sorry, I just… I thought he was doing you something bad and I wanted to protect you." Severus kissed her, even though Lily hadn't shown she wanted it. "I love you so much and I would die before I let anyone hurt you," he whispered, his lips still too close to hers. '’Forgive me for this.'’

But she couldn't say anything, Lily just nodded because she was too tired to fight, and she already felt small and insufficient enough.

He just wanted to protect me, she thought, he loves me and he thought I was in danger, Lily mused, trying to make a rational part of her understand this once and for all.

[z-1-wolfe]

Parhelion Headcanons (sir this is all for you) @greenbeany

Putting 'em under the cut because they got very long O.O

I- the gnome is Neon I take no criticism. They are often good-natured souls with a more mischievous side, and if that doesn’t describe Neon I’m not sure what does. Playful, funny, good intentions, that my good Bean is our lovable cat personified. Okay Parhelion dnd au with gnome Neon please /j.

I AM SMACKING THE GUN OUT OF YOUR HANDS [runs into a glass wall] dammit,, guess I gotta talk now

I- oh no,, time to fail the exam I guess (turns all your head canons upside down)

Okay they do sleep yes they do. Actually that’s a lie only Ciel sleeps, the other two are insomniacs. Ciel has all of her day to day life planned out to the minute, so she heads to bed at a certain time and wakes up at a certain time, the other two are more of a “we’ll sleep when we’re tired” kinda duo. Unfortunately due to Ilia’s night terrors and Neon’s ADHD they almost never rest. No they do not sleep in a SANE bed, ha why would they have a bed? They sleep in a hammock all tangled up with each other. It’s hard to tell what order they sleep in when they kinda curl into each other. They do not use a duvet, why have a duvet when Neon is a space heater? There are no pillows on the hammock X). OKAY THEIR ROOM, THIS I GOT, it’s a funky mess that is somehow organized thanks to Ciel. Ilia doesn’t own a lot in general but it was her life’s dream to paint her bedroom rainbow so guess what they have now. The other two are too soft and they supported her efforts and they love her despite her poor design sense XD.

I- why closet ASDFG I mean— No they do not share a closet they all have completely different fashion sense and if that was all in one place people would be genuinely terrified. But since they’re broke they had to make do with one walk in closet that they partitioned off into sections. YES THEY DO HAVE MATCHING OUTFITS THEY ARE SO CUTE LIKE THAT. They tend to be like those cute couple outfits with a few variations to match their own personal style. But their favorite matching outfit are these duck hoodies they own courtesy of once again Ilia living out her childhood dreams. No they don’t own many outfits because like I mentioned earlier they are broke x). Hmm thinking about each other’s styles… Ilia think both of her girlfriends have great taste, she loves the well, neon of Neon, and the prim and properness of Ciel. Neon just doesn’t care XD. And Ciel is just, she’s just standing there wishing she could help their fashion sense, but she holds back because “It does suit them in an odd way.” Ciel gets the most compliments on her style hands down, she looks organized and you can bet she saves money to buy outfits that actually accentuate her cuteness. They don’t wear makeup no time for that (in which you learn Z has little to no knowledge in how to apply makeup and doesn’t know how to answer that question)

OH OKAY I LOVE VIDDY GAMES. Ciel likes real-time strategy games because she’s insane and that’s literally all she knows in life thanks to being raised in an upper class family in Atlas. Neon likes open world games, something something she likes the chance for adventure and determining one’s fate for themself. Ilia has never once played a video game until after she defected from the White Fang but I can see her playing something light like Stardew Valley, low stakes kinda games. Hmm, they might play Animal Crossing together? Since it has aspects they all enjoy. They each have an individual switch (Ilia has a coral switch lite) and one shared PC. Okay game with most hours, maybe Minecraft? They still haven’t beat the enderdragon because Neon keeps getting distracted XD. Neon is the bomb at party games though, you can bet she has a perfect score on all the songs in Just Dance. Ciel is a sharpshooter, god knows who taught her how to shoot like that. The biggest splatoon fan is unfortunately not Neon it is Ilia, she loves all the colors in the game ^^. But she and Neon have wracked up quite a few hours in co-op.

Uhhh books!! Ilia likes fanfics :) it’s unfortunately one of the only ways for her to see positive representation of herself. Neon for some reason reads Epics?? Like her favorite is the Epic of Gilgamesh what is up with that?? Ciel reads webtoons :), she reads enough serious stuff for school work and such, she likes to just kick back and relax after all that. Yes they have schedules reading time courtesy of Ciel :). Uhh, they relax by baking together. None of them had many chances to indulge in sweets while growing up so they make full use of their time now. ?? SPOON?? Cuddle hours happen on a whim, the one thing that Ciel can never schedule because she never knows when it’ll occur. They relax the most in the kitchen x) because that’s where they bake, it’s not unusual to find Neon asleep on the counter while she waits for their sweets to rise. They read in the light, Neon is afraid that by reading in the dark that they’ll all ruin their eyesight. Ciel likes the sunrise because she’s up the earliest and is the only one to see it, the other two prefer sunset because that’s usually when their day is about to begin XD.

Favorite spot for dates! The park ^^, they like to go on picnic dates with all their baked goods. There is no plan, usually one of them will randomly pull the other two out of the house because they haven’t touched grass in a while XD. There are no ideas, they share one braincell and they spend too much time doting on each other to use it. Uhm favorite movie genre,,, they like comedy movies :). Their favorite place to eat is this tiny store on the corner of their street that makes mean gyros, they heccin’ love them. Coping with horror, Ilia is desensitized to horror because of the things she’s seen in life, Neon treats it like a game because she knows it’s not real, Ciel, is okay with it, but she gets shook more easily than the other two and they often have to reassure her. No they do not like theme parks, there are too many people around for Ilia and Ciel and Neon respects their boundaries so they tend to go to more quiet places. Uhm heights, Ciel is used to heights because she’s friends with Penny and woah can that girl toss her in the air like she’s a couple of grapes. Ilia doesn’t mind heights but she would prefer to have her feet on the ground. Neon loves the ground so damn much if it leaves her she will cry because man she can’t roller-skate in the air can she, what will she do if the ground is suddenly gone? They like evening dates because it’s normally the only time all three of them are awake enough for it XD. They end a night by sleeping I am not quite sure if there are other ways to end it lmao. They absolutely despise Neon’s roller skating dates but they love how excited she gets about them so they end up becoming as good as professional roller skaters because the smile on Neon’s face when they join her is dazzling.

I am slowly going insane. Yes each girl has a hobby I sure hope they do. Ilia knits, Ciel paints, and Neon writes. I would like to imagine that Ciel would try to schedule time for their hobbies she ends up giving up because all their sleep schedules are wack. Designated chef is Neon (probably made food for FNKI back in atlas), designated driver is Ilia (I mean I like to imagine she stole cars and stuff in the White Fang XD), designated decorator for stuff is normally Ciel though Neon does try to hijack a few of her plans occasionally, designated shopper is Ciel because the other two have no concept of Saving money, and they all work together to clean :). They don’t work together, they believe in keeping their work life and home life separate to prevent their feelings from getting in the way. They do not have pets, none of them have the energy or responsibility to do that, but Ilia did once bring a moose home one day for some reason.

I am nomming on your arm sir. Ilia and Neon get along with Penny surprisingly well, though I do think Ilia would get along with Weiss better? Ruby and Weiss look at Ciel and see a beacon arc Weiss and more or less adopt her despite Ciel being older than the two of them. They might like.. play board games together? Like some of those more team based board games I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, may the best polycule win. I cannot see them in a cuddle puddle to be honest ajcnjsanjs I am so sorry— hmm Ruby and Neon do not know the meaning of formal, as far as they are concerned these are their girlfriend’s friends and that means that by extension these are their friends. Weiss would like nothing to do with Neon after Neon insults Yang during the Vytal festival but she begrudgingly goes on outings with her and hey, now they’re make up buddies for some reason. The parhelion gals take the fs gals to the gyro place they like :). Parhelion gang Is a lot more vocal on their dates because their love language happens to be words of affirmation while the fs gang’s happen to be physical touch. Both polycules are very very affectionate though I will die on this hill.

DARN IT TUMBLR ONLY LETS ME HAVE 10 IMAGES PER POST THIS IS FINE IT WAS JUST ONE MORE PROMPT DARN IT

(Parhelion angst! How do Neon and Ciel react to the news about the dust mine? How do they find out about Ilia getting expelled? Do they find out about the white fang? Is there any faunus stigma afterwards? How does Ciel react to people bullying her Faunus GFS? Does Neon talk to Ciel much after? Do they ever reunite? Does Neon attempt to help Ciel while she grieves Penny? Where the fuck is Ciel now? Is Neon still alive? Does Ilia ever think about them? Does Blake know about them from Ilia?)

BUDDY I CAME TO THE LAST ASK AND NOW ONLY DID I REALIZE YOU MEANT PARHELION BACK WHEN THEY WHERE IN BEACON THIS WHOLE TIME I’M CRYING. (This ask is answered under the assumption that they are already dating back in Atlas Academy) Ciel is fiercely protective of her girlfriends, though people only know that Neon is a Faunus because Ilia masks her traits during her time at the academy. Neon and Ciel are horrified about the news about the dust mines. They know that Ilia is a Faunus and that her parents were working there so they rush to see her as soon as possible. But they’re too late,,, Ilia’s already been expelled for attacking her fellow students. They don’t hear from Ilia for a few years after that and the two slowly drift apart, each blaming the other for not getting to Ilia soon enough. They don’t find out about the White Fang until they reunite with Ilia unfortunately, but they feel sad that Ilia had felt that they only way for her to get revenge for her parents was by joining a militant group (I’m working under the assumption that Sienna only took control of the White Fang shortly before Ilia joined). When Neon learns that Penny didn’t make it after the Fall of Beacon she hesitantly reaches out to Ciel for the first time in a year, and she does try to help. But for Ciel it’s blow after heccin’ blow and she pushes Neon away in a rage. Ciel leaves the Academy after that and goes rogue, working as a huntsman without a license for the poorer parts of remnant. Ilia is unaware of all this drama during the Beacon arc. The next time she hears of any news is during the Fall of Atlas, and she’s scared, scared because she’s still recovering and she just heard Ruby announce to the world that Remnant is under attack, and oh my gosh her ex girlfriends live in Atlas. Neon makes it out alive, though not entirely in one piece, she now has a prosthetic leg. Ilia is the first person to see her, it’s a tearful reunion and they haven’t fully made up yet, but hey it’s a work in progress, now they just have to find out where Ciel is, but when they do they’ll BOTH be there to greet her. Blake has no idea who the fuck Ciel and Neon are lmao, Ilia never told her anything about her past romances when she was in the White Fang.

Oh gosh I think that's it-- And that is it thank you for listening to me ramble about Parhelion you get a juice box for making it this far. Sir I am sincerely sorry for turning your ship upside down please forgive me.

[theladyofdeath]

Alone in the Ashes {19}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click >  Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: This one is actually pretty fluffy, friends. You’re welcome.

“It's a rare person to face who they are and not run from it - not be broken by it.” ― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Wings and Ruin

“What do you think of an October wedding?”

Rhysand was flipping pancakes in the skillet - it was breakfast for dinner night. He’d already made a plate piled high with bacon. “Sounds nice.”

“This October,” Feyre clarified, scrolling through her newsfeed on her phone from the barstool behind the island.

Rhysand glanced over his shoulder. “As in...three months from now?”

“Yeah,” Feyre said, smiling. “Why not?”

“Don’t weddings take ten years to plan?” Rhysand asked, turning off the stove top burner. 

“Usually, but I don’t want anything big,” she said, setting down her phone. “And, I always wanted a fall wedding. Early October will allow us to do it outside before it starts getting too cold...and I don’t want to wait a whole year and a half to become your wife.”

Rhysand turned around and leaned against the opposite side of the island. “Tell me when and where, and I’ll be there, waiting for you at the end of the aisle.” 

Her grin widened. “Good answer.”

Rhysand winked. “See? I’m making a good husband already.”

“I never doubted that you were husband material,” Feyre said, eyes softening. “I have to tell the girls. Oh, fuck, there’s so much to do in three months time. Okay. I need a notepad.”

“A notepad?” Rhysand chuckled.

“Yes,” she said, giving him a pointed look as she dug through a few junk drawers before finding a small notepad and a pen. “Alright. I need a dress. I need bridesmaids...they also need dresses. We need to pick out wedding bands. Oh, and an actual band to play at our reception. Food. We need food. A place to get married. A priest. Oh, Mila will be the flower girl, of course. What else….alcohol! We must have wine.”

Rhysand stared as she listed off item after item after item.

“You realize all this needs to be done in three months, right?” he asked. “If you must get married this October.”

Feyre nodded, slowly, looking uncertain as she looked through her final pages that made up her list.

“Hey,” Rhysand said, quietly. “We can wait.”

“No,” she said, setting the list down and looking up at him. “Rhys, I wanna be your wife, and I don’t wanna have to wait. You asked me to marry you, I said yes, now we’re going to get married. And I don’t want to wait. As much as I love calling you my fiance, I’m already ready to call you my husband.”

Rhysand huffed a laugh. “Alright. Give me the notepad, then.”

Feyre slid the notepad and pen across the island, along with her ridiculously long list. Rhysand starting writing out a new one, and when he was done, he handed two sheets to Feyre and kept two for himself.

She raised her brows. “What’s this?”

“I split it in half. You and the girls take care of what’s on that list, me and Cassian and Az will take care of what’s on mine. You wanna get married in October, then we’ll be ready to get married in October.”

A small smile appeared on Feyre’s lips. “I constantly wonder how I became so lucky.”

“As you should,” Rhysand muttered. “I’m fucking awesome.”

With a roll of her eyes, Feyre stood from the barstool and ran around the island, into Rhysand’s arms. She kissed him, long and slowly, before grabbing a plate off the counter and loading it up with food. They ate on the couch, watching a ridiculous, old rom-com. 

Feyre thought that if this was a preview of the rest of her life, she was, truly, one lucky woman.

~~~~~

Mila was playing with Elain’s new kitten in her living room while Azriel sat with Elain in the kitchen.

They had spent the last few hours clearing out Elain’s guest room, which they had just unpacked the week before. Nesta would be moving in for a while. Elain had offered, and Nesta had jumped on the opportunity.

“It sounds like she’s doing well,” Azriel said. “All things considering.”

“She will be,” Elain said, nodding. 

Azriel moved his chair closer to hers. “And how are you doing? Still okay?”

Elain nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

The first week after she stopped her diet pills was hard on her body. She woke up every morning, feeling sick, starving for the first time in ages. She had tried to get on a regulated, healthy eating schedule, but her body was adjusting.

As time went on, though, it grew easier. 

“Lain!” Mila called from the living room. “Can I watch t.v.?”

Elain looked at Azriel, who nodded. When she left to help Mila turn it on, Azriel stood from where he was sitting and wandered around the kitchen. There was a picture she had put onto her fridge of her, Feyre, and Nesta in high school.

Not much had changed.

In the picture, Elain wore her cheerleading uniform, Nesta was wearing a black cropped top and jeans, and Feyre was wearing Rhysand’s Letterman jacket. It was after a basketball game, taken outside among the falling Autumn leaves. He wished he would have known Elain, then. Wished he would have found her sooner.

“Admiring me in my cheer uniform?” Elain asked, coming up behind him. When he turned and wrapped his arms around her, he was grinning.

“If you still have it, I wouldn’t be mad if you put it on.”

Elain laughed, shoving him in the chest. “Keep dreaming. I remember watching you play. Basketball. You were good.”

“I loved it,” Azriel said. “Smoked too much pot, though, to ever make anything of myself playing. At least, that’s what coach used to say.”

Elain chuckled. “Well, little did he know you would turn into such an amazing man.”

“You think too highly of me,” he mumbled, leaning down to capture her lips with his. The kiss was soft, but it lasted a while, Elain melting into his touch, Azriel’s arms tightening around her waist. 

He lifted her up and set her on the edge of the counter. Her slim legs immediately wrapped around his body, pulling him closer to her. His tongue swept between her lips, and he only hesitated when he heard Mila laughing at something on the t.v.

He’d forgotten she was there.

Azriel jerked back, feeling guilty for melting into their own little world, but Elain was laughing, quietly. 

“I suppose we should keep off each other while the little one is awake,” she whispered.

Azriel nodded, then kissed her forehead, her nose, her lips, one final time. “Maybe so.”

“But when she goes to sleep…” Elain trailed off, running her fingers down his chest.

Azriel grinned, eyes lighting up as he said, “Tease.”

“Only for you,” Elain muttered, wrapping her arms around him in an innocent embrace.

Even though innocent it was, Mila thought it was horrifying.

“Ewwww, I’m right here!” she yelled, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

Azriel laughed as he spun around, narrowed his eyes, and started running toward Mila. She yelled and started running the other way, but Azriel’s legs were just a little bit longer. He caught her and threw her over his shoulder. 

“Let me down!” she giggled.

“Never!” Azriel cried, but he threw her down onto the couch before tickling her tummy. 

Elain stood in the doorway, watching the sight with a full heart.

~~~~~

Cassian had just gotten home from work when he saw Nesta, coming out of her apartment, struggling with a bigass box.

It had been almost two weeks since Feyre had spent the night at her sister’s apartment and Cassian had been trying to keep his distance. He had noticed, too, that Nesta hadn’t been home much. She had either been with Feyre or Elain. She couldn’t trust herself to be alone.

“Need help?” he asked.

She stopped, and although he couldn’t see her over the box, he assumed he was the last person she wanted to see.

“No, it’s okay.” There was nothing hard in her voice, just exhaustion. Feyre said she was detoxing - which, judging by the amount of drugs she had pulled out of Nesta’s apartment days before, Cassian wasn’t surprised.

“I don’t mind,” he said, taking the box from her before she could protest. “Moving?”

She sighed, finally able to meet his eye once she was free of the box. She grabbed another one, a smaller one, from just inside of her doorway. “Going to live with Elain. She has an extra room.”

Cassian nodded, surprised, and a small, selfish part of him was upset she was leaving the apartment across from his.

“Well, I can help you carry some of this down to your car. And, if you need more room, I don’t mind helping,” he said. “I do have a truck.” 

She smiled, softly. “Thanks.”

Nesta closed her door and started walking toward the staircase, Cassian close behind. When they made it to her car, Cassian shoved the giant box into her trunk.

As they began to walk back up the stairs, she cleared her throat. “Cassian…I’ve been meaning to come by-”

“It’s okay,” he said, cutting her off. “You don’t have to-”

“I’m sorry,” she breathed. She stopped in front of her apartment door to meet his gaze. 

Cassian said nothing. He just leaned against the brick building with his hands in his pockets.

“What I did to you wasn’t fair, and I know that, but I just want you to know that it had nothing to do with you.”

It’s not you, it’s me. It was the oldest line in the book; but, for once, Cassian knew it to be true. Even if it did make him feel guilty.

“I should have been there for you,” he said, then. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Are you fucking kidding? I pushed you away. You had every right to react as you did. I wanted you to react as you did. I wanted you to hate me. And I was glad when you did.”

Cassian cocked his head to the side. “Why?”

She shook her head. “It’s not important.”

“It is to me,” Cassian whispered.

Nesta nodded, and leaned against the wall opposite of him. She blew out a long, slow, unsteady breath. “It’s easier when people don’t like you.”

Cassian thought of all the times he had told Nesta how he felt about her. Not once did she tell him that she liked him back; and when he had told her that he loved her, she wouldn’t even let him finish. 

“Maybe so,” he agreed. “But it’s lonely.”

“I’ve always been lonely,” she said, simply. 

Cassian nodded. “You don’t have to be, though. Start letting people in, Nesta. You’ll find it’s a hell of a lot nicer that way.”

She huffed a laugh and looked out at the parking lot, where the sun was setting. “Maybe I’ll give it a try.” 

“Good,” Cassian muttered, and when she looked back at him, he was already watching her. “Need help packing up?”

“You just got home from work,” she said. “You should go relax.” 

“I never relax,” he countered. “I’ve got nothing to do. Amren is out walking Bryaxis. Last offer.”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed, but there was a small smile on her mouth. “Okay. Sure. Thanks.”

He nodded before following her into her apartment. She had already packed quite a bit up. Boxes of all shapes and sizes sat around the living room and the kitchen.

“All I really have left is my bedroom and the bathroom.”

“Boxes?”

“At the end of the hallway. A Sharpie is there, too.”

“Right,” Cassian said. “And if I forget to label a box?”

“I’ll know it was you who forgot and I’ll kick your ass.”

Cassian laughed. “Holy fuck, Nesta Archeron made a joke.”

She looked over her shoulder as she padded down the hallway. Her eyes were bright. Weary, but bright “It wasn’t a joke.”

Humored, Cassian walked after her and into her bedroom. “Where do you want me to start?”

“You’re tall,” she began, “mind getting all the stuff from the top of my closet?”

Cassian nodded, grabbed a box from the hallway and taped up the bottom before getting to work. 

“So, how are you feeling?”

She didn’t answer for a minute, and as another minute passed, Cassian thought he had pissed her off. But, then she answered, “Decent. Thankfully, Feyre found the hard stuff before I could really get into it. Most of what I took were those pain pills...Last week was hell. I was miserable. But the last couple days…” she shrugged. “The last couple days have been decent. I’m really fucking tired, but my head is clear...Even though my thoughts run a little more wild with a clear head. I’ve got a long road ahead of me, and I’ll have to fight for myself, every day, but, for the first time, I look forward to that.”

“That’s good,” he said, and when Nesta gave him a curious look he said, “Not about being tired and feeling like hell, about...you know. You just...You look good.”

She gave him another curious look.

“Not in like a sexual sense. I mean - you look good that way, too, but, I meant...you know. You look….hydrated.”

Nesta laughed, quietly. “Hydrated. Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Cassian said, then quickly faced her closet to stop whatever words were wanting to come out of his mouth before he could think better of it.

Just when he thought Nesta couldn’t have any more books than the ones that had been displayed in her living room, he pulled down stack after stack from the shelf at the top of her closet. There were also photo albums, which she refused to let him look through, and old CDs. There was one thing that really surprised him, though, that he found in the back of the closet. 

“You play the violin?”

Nesta stopped what she was doing by her desk. “You sound surprised.”

He looked at her, from the top of her head to her socks that were covered in black cats. “I just….never saw you as the violin type. Or, you know, the musical type in general.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “I haven’t played in years. My mom gave that to me, though, when I played nearly every day. Can’t get rid of it. Maybe I’ll pick it up again some day.”

Cassian unhooked the case and looked inside. It was made of a red wood, the bow was well worn. With a smile, he shut it safely inside and placed it in the top of his box. “You should. Pick it up again.” 

“Do you play anything?” Nesta asked, her back turned to him, once more.

“No,” Cassian answered. “I sang in choir in high school though.”

Nesta’s shoulders shook with laughter. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“You can sing?”

“Fuck no,” Cassian said. “I was horrible.” 

As Nesta’s laughter filled the room, Cassian taped the box shut and wrote in big, obnoxious letters, Top Closet Shit. He underlined it three times before putting the lid back on the marker and tossing it on her bed. 

She watched him, brows raised.

He shrugged. “At least I labelled.” 

Cassian stayed with her all night, helping pack the rest of her belongings. He did most of the work as she ordered him around, which Cassian was happy to do because he could tell she was exhausted. She seemed to be doing well, though. But every now and then when he looked at her, when she didn’t know it, her eyes were distant, heavy. But when she smiled at him, it was true. Genuine. And when she spoke, he knew she meant the words coming out of her mouth. For once, she seemed excited at the thought of going to live with her sister.

As midnight rolled around, everything Nesta owned was packed away in a box. She walked Cassian to her front door.

“Thank you for helping,” she said, eyes still bright from their night of talking about useless shit and laughing about nothing, even though that exhaustion lingered. “Truly. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I care about you, Nesta,” he said, voice quiet. “And I’m proud of you.”

Her smile faded, and she nodded, blue eyes shining. “Thanks.”

“I’ll be here in the morning to load the back of my truck up,” he promised.

“Great,” she whispered, smiling once more.

Cassian turned to leave, but when he opened the door, Nesta called his name.

He turned around and she had taken a step closer to him.

She shook her head as she said, “I was falling in love with you, too. For whatever it’s worth.”

Cassian froze before closing the distance between them and pressing his mouth to the top of her head. 

After one last smile, he left, and let himself into his own apartment.

Amren watched as he closed the door and leaned against it.

She asked him a question, but he didn’t hear it.

Nesta’s words were replaying in his mind, over and over and over again.

I was falling in love with you, too.

Cassian smiled.

When she said it, her eyes were clear, her voice sturdy. 

She was sober.

Nesta was sober.

Friends may be all that they remained, but that confession would stay with him.

For whatever it’s worth.

It was worth everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty  @starkovsnesta​   @redisriding​  @photofeesh

@mariamuses​   @tswaney17    @amaranthas-whore​   @awesomelena555

@danika-defendyr​  @rachaels14 @faequeenaelin​  @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn​

@hashtolanashoba  @poisonous00​  @chemicha @samotita​

@mynewdreamwasyou​ @humming-asong​  

@candid-confetti @awkward-avocado-s​  @sensitiveillyrian​

@my-fan-side @queen-of-glass​  @stars-falling​

@ifangirlninja  @sleeping-and-books  @burritowithfeels

@morebooks-pls @kindofawalkingpoem​

@sannelovesreading @empressnesrynfaliq​

@halstudies @sleeping-and-books​ @alwayss-reading​

@amren-courtofdreams  @b00kworm​

@wifeofchrishemsworth​  @booksstorm​

@goldr0ses @blackjacks-donuts​

@humanexile  @over300books​

@booksbooksbooksworld  @starrynightsbooks​

@girl-who-reads-the-books

@mis-lil-red

@shhhimreading03​

@emilyrose111294​

@negativenesta​

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@flora-and-fae​

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@gloriouspaintercreatorbandit​ @iliketoasterstrudels​

@6255igntm​  @moondancer-204​

@littlehoneyybee​  @acourtofbookworms​

@the-regal-warrior​

@awkward-avocado-s​  @nightcourtcinnamonroll​

@aelin-rowan-whitehorn​ @bamchickawowow​

@julemmaes​  @itsme-malin

@regular-nessian-trash​  @made-of-stardust-and-wanderlust

@ugh-avila​  @awkward-avocado-s​

@superspiritfestival  @the-dark-swan​  @girlgotattitude448​  @eversincebeirut​

@midnightrose-reader​  @lord-douglas-the-third​  @thestarguidingyouhome​

@empress-ofbloodshed​  @starkovsnesta​ @nickjgoodsell​

Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous

[flawed-lesbian]

I don’t even know where to start. I love you. I love you more than life itself. I love you more than the moon and stars. I love you more than I love sports. Or video games. Or music. Or corgis. I love you more than I ever thought I could. I also love you more every single day.

The day I met you, I knew I was made to love you. I knew my one reason to going back to school that year was to meet you. To fall in love with you. I have never caught that strong of feelings for someone so quick in my life. I was absolutely entranced by you that entire evening. It was the first time that I wasn’t super skeptical of if that person would like me back or not. The connection that I felt with you right off the bat was insane and that’s how I knew. Of course there’s that fear of rejection and you had a boyfriend at the time, but I just had a feeling that it’d be okay. Like everything would work out.

That’s why I didn’t give up. I kept pushing because I had a feeling that I was supposed to. Supposed to fight for you even when we weren’t even together yet. You made me nervous. I had butterflies in my stomach every time I saw you. Heard your voice. Saw your name on my screen. I knew early on that I wanted to spend my life with you. I fell in love with you so quick. This feeling with you has felt so different than all the rest. I never had to force my feelings or who I was with you. I could just be me. You loved me for who I was and I’ve never had that.

Of course, I have been far from perfect. I have fucked up. A lot. More times than I want to even remember. I regret all of them. I gave a lot of excuses as to why the things that happened had happened. I never owned up to any of it and I blamed you. I made you feel awful for stuff that wasn’t your fault. The truth is. I failed. I failed at giving you the things you wanted and needed and I hated that. I didn’t like the feeling of failing someone that I loved so much, but I never wanted to admit that.

It went on for so long, that I lost track of who I was. Of who was important to me. I was lost. Completely. I wanted to feel like I had control of myself and I wanted to feel like I had control of the situation. I never wanted you to think I wasn’t okay, but you knew. I should have let you help, but I got in my own way and I ruined a lot of things. I ruined us.

The video that is attached was from the very first time you came to stay at my house. I tried to make a tik tok of you to show you how much you meant to me, but I took individual videos instead of recording them all together. So the video never came together. I chose that video because it was a time when I felt truly at home. Holding your hand..it’s like nothing else matters. Our fingers interlock and everything is okay. Like, I have my girl. Your hands. They were meant for mine.

Time stops when we kiss. Just when I’m with you in general. I forget everything and it’s just us. I know I struggled to show it, but I genuinely was always so wrapped up in you. You are constantly on my mind. Day and night. When I’m with friends and when I’m alone. When I’m watching a tv show or listening to music. I can’t get you out of my head. Every little thing reminds me of you. Every memory that we’ve ever had together airs in my head at the same time every day. It’s like a channel that plays the same reruns on tv everyday. I know all of it like the back of my hand. I don’t want to give those up.

You know how I said earlier about how I didn’t give up when we first met even when it looked like everything was against us? That it looked like it wouldn’t happen? I didn’t give up because I had that feeling? That I knew God put me here on this Earth to love you forever? Well that’s the same reason I’m not giving up on us now. Because I have that same damn feeling. That even though everything is looking so down and gloomy, I know I’m supposed to love you for the rest of my life.

I look at pictures and videos and I just know that it’s you. You make me so freaking happy and I know that I can make you happy again, too. I’ve grown up so much and I know what I have to do to make you and I work. You have been, for two years, the one thing that I have consistently been certain about. The one thing I know that I want. I don’t just want you, I genuinely need you. I’m in love with you. Absolutely, head over heels, in love. My heart is with you. It always has been. You’re my person. My home. And I have reason to believe that I’m yours.

So, please, come home?

- j <3

[amphii-writes]

Haikyuu boys as songs on my spotify playlists P. 5, (Other characters + girls)

Warning, songs contain talk about: violence, sex and drugs.

Yuji Terushima: Pussy Talk by City Girls (feat. Doja Cat)

You know damn well that Terushima-san is a fuckboy, not saying that's immediately horrible i'm just stating facts. He might look like he gets bitches but he's for sure a virgin. He likes any song that gives  him confidence, so when he hears pussy talk he goes all out, i mean this grown ass man dances.

Suguru Daisho: Molly by Mindless Self Indulgence

Was this one self indulgent? Yeah. Daisho-san gives me punk vibes and like,,, awooga. He for sure likes songs that get him pumped up before games and Molly is exactly the song to do that. Even with his breakup from Mika he seems to be insanely persistent and probably is one of those guys who unironically says “I still see her shadows in my room.” which pains me a bit to think about.

Kiyoomi Sakusa: Devil Town by Cavetown

Sakusa-san gives me a “divorced parents” vibe, and as someone who has divorced parents I will defend this on a hill and die for it. The song itself isn’t overwhelming, so I think he likes it because it's almost a calm pain to him. And, with my head cannon that he has divorced parents, it fits even better.

Shinsuke Kita: Saturn Suv by Fredo Disco

Sweet farmer boy needs sweet sonG- wow I haven’t expressed my love for Kita-san ever on this website and that thought physically pains me tbh. He’s so sweet, so that's why I picked this bittersweet bop for him. It’s chill and almost controlling like he is, but not a bad controlling, more of a “guys-please-my-mom-is-home” controlling. 10/10 would recommend this song.

Aran Ojiro: Washing Machine Heart by Mitsuki

You might be wondering why I picked such a song for Mr. Man himself, but hear me out: He likes sad songs. Just like I've mentioned with many other soft boys before, he enjoys listening to sad songs even when he's not sad which I respect because,,, same here dude.

ON that note, I chose the washing machine heart because of how adult it sounded. Not in the sexual sense, but just in the “grown-up heartbreak” sense.

Atsumu Miya: Asshole by Hooligan Chase

This physically pained me to find on my playlist and so I deleted it immediately after finding it. ‘Tsumu-san gives me massive cishet man energy and that isn’t exactly good to think about. He reminds me of a frat boy named Jake who’s favorite thing is to fuck the holes in the wall that he punched. Doesn’t mean I hate Atsumu-san though! Actually, I find him and his brother very relatable and enjoy how they fight because me and my siblings did that kinda thing.

Osamu Miya: Lotta True Crime by Penelope Scott

Anyways, ‘Samu-san here gives me the energy that he binges true crime shows often with the team, ‘Tsumu probably calls Osamu a serial killer and gross and well,,, everything else you can fill in. The song itself is bitter and sarcastic, just like he can be and personally I find it super catchy (well, I enjoy all of Penelope's songs) and sad. The image of Osamu-san listening to true crime podcasts while getting stoned in his later years brings tears of joy to my face.

Rintaro Suna: As The World Caves In by Matt Maltese

A sad song for a boy who for sure has at least some sort of mental illness (I say that as someone who has mental illnesses). I believe that Suna-san has depression due to how burnt out he constantly is. As someone who again loves sad songs, I feel like he would just constantly have one on in his headphones. Give this man some therapy and a break.

Korai Hoshiumi: Verbatim by Mother Mother

Lil man really whipped out the energy when we first met him- he low-key scared me because I saw him and thought that he’d be quiet and sweet but oh boy was I wrong. I was also a little stuck on a song for him so I had to consult the Hoshiumi kinnies and they came up with Verbatim, which is on my playlist. Thank you, Hoshiumi kinnies, thank you. If you are a Hoshiumi kinnie, you are iconic and i appreciate you!

Takanobu Aone: Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

Wow anyways this song makes my aone kinnie go brr. Like completely brr. Aone-san gives me a soft indie, hot cup of tea, sweaters, knitting, and baking vibes. You may see him as a scary giant but I see him as a very big polar bear who needs a hug! He probably relates to the song because of how everyone views him as the Iron Wall and not a person, just the longing to feel loved and appreciated by someone is the main reason he’d relate so much. I would also bake brownies with Aone-san any day.

Kenji Futakuchi: Hayloft by Mother Mother

Our edgy king here for sure is a bastard. He’s cocky, funny, and sly with his rude comments causing me to think of an intense song for him. Hayloft is also an absolute banger of a song, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he had it be Date Tech’s theme song for the time being. I think that he’d also go to mother mother concerts and just be so confused, like if he went to an american mother mother concert he’d be looking at everyone there and just “woah” you also can’t tell me he wouldn’t want an alt S.O.

Kanji Koganegawa: Pretty Rave Girl by S3RL

Wow, me and Koganegawa-san here seem to have the exact same taste in music! When I hear pretty rave girls I go ape. I mean I shake my hands in front of my face because of the happy simulation! It’s such a cute song and the crunch is sooo perfect. I can see Koganegawa being into hyperpop and hardcore music like sewerslvt and SugarCrash! Like tendou-san and lev-san. He for sure sings the song when he gets up in the morning and blasts it in his car! The cute wholesome love song makes his heart go brr, and mine does too!

Ittetsu Takaeda: Breezeblocks by Alt-J

Man would listen to this and go full English teacher like the nerd he is, but then again I don't blame him because I honestly do too! This song was an old hyper-fixation of mine and so when I think of Takaeda, I think of Breezeblocks. All the literary devices and how the song itself is formed to create the perfect horrifying story of murder and cleaning up the crime scene all while talking about their lover is bone-chilling and I think Takaeda-san understands how messed up the song is but just really enjoys the cover that the love aspect almost is. Like when I first listened to Breezeblocks I thought it was a song about a lover leaving the singer, not the singer killing someone(possibly his lover) and covering it up all while thinking about his S.O. dark but great song, 10/10 childhood would be ruined again.

Keishin Ukai: Scotty Doesn’t Know by Lustra

Ah yes, Ukai here is punk and we all know it; and as someone who sees Ukai and gets many mixed feelings, I say we talk about highschool ukai. He mentioned that he didn’t get good grades when he was younger. Keishin-san reminds me of someone who got high instead of doing schoolwork, which like same but bro c’mon you gotta balance the zoot. Keishin-san also reminds me of a crust punk in the sense of how he acts: he’s super cool and if you're wrong he isn’t afraid to tell you you're wrong. He also gives me the vibes that he’d call out TERF’s on the streets and save girls from being harassed/assaulted. An absolute king if I say so myself.

Saeko Tanaka: Girls In Bikinis by Poppy

Ah yes, a bicon in her full beauty! Saeko for sure would be one hell of a partier and she for sure has had some drunken kisses with cute girls. And, we have to remember she is a tanaka, ryunosuke is literally her brother. Of course, simp runs in their veins, and god, what I would do for her to just give me a thumbs up or any positive affirmation. Oh and she for sure kicks TERF’s in the shins with Ukai-san. Someone get her a monster and a crown because she’s the queen :)

Akiteru Tsukishima: Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown

As Akiteru-san here has struggled with self esteem before and not wanting to let people down, I saw BWBB and instantly understood why it stands out to me so much when I think about him. The song itself is about giving into harmful stereotypes because that's how the world and people see you. Boys are often seen as people who aren’t allowed to have feelings due to toxic masculinity and I think that the reason he lied to his brother could’ve been influenced by that.

Kiyoko Shimizu: Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott

Sweet hibiscus tea is one hell of a song for people who don’t feel like enough, and that's exactly how Kiyoko-san feels. I can see her for sure feeling like an outsider to her own life. So many people look up to her and she doesn’t know why, her low self-esteem is something that I've come to understand after watching Haikyuu. Give her some tanaka and she’ll be fine.

Hitoka Yachi: Oblivion by Grimes

Our favorite ball of anxiety for sure is scared about walking home, she has a great reason to be anyways! What’s scarier than being kidnapped? Nothing tbh, shits horrifying (I say as someone who was indeed almost kidnapped). Yachi always thinks that the worst will happen and prepares for it, but then again I can’t blame her.

[medea10]

Medea Plays Miitopia...AGAIN: Part I

Miitopia!

Starring: Medea as the Heroic Warrior and Imp

Tracey Sketchit as the Cleric

Marcus *last name withheld* as the Mage

Homer J. Simpson as the Chef

Washu Habuki as the Scientist

Michael Jackson as the Pop Star

And little Ike Broflovski as the Thief

Yeah, this is bringing me back to 2017. I enjoyed the hours crafting my miis to have them look as close to their actual character counterparts as humanly possible. This time, we all can get a little closer with the make-up and wig department.

I mean, come on! Look at this.

In no way was I able to make Marilyn Manson look as spooky in the 2017 game as I can here.

As usual, you learn of weird anomalies happening around you like floating faces landing on plants, food, animals, etc. You head over to Greenhorne to meet the folks.

I did the usual like I did in my old game like put in Dorothy Zbornak, Pam Poovey, and Randy Marsh. But I wanted to have this cute moment between Satoko and Rika before I go back to hating their relationship.

Higurashi Gou ruined me.

And I added Rick Sanchez as the sarcastic guy. Mostly so when his face gets stolen I can make the “Rocky Rick” joke.

Pfft. Many of us made this joke back in 2017. Get on board newbies.

Oh and yes, I made this happen again.

I will forever be a Victuri shipper and don’t you ever forget it.

My first-string comrades are the same as before.

Tracey is always my first. He is top bae! He is top-tier bae!

Followed up by Homer.

And my real-life buddy, Marcus.

But it’s not just three, we get a horse. And yes, we can design it as we see fit. I did ponder for a bit what mine would look like and what I should call it.

At first, I thought Isuzu after Rin from Fruits Basket. But then again, she isn’t really my favorite character on the show. Let’s go with option 2.

Mmm...Better. I’ll save Galarian Ponyta for if I decide to do an all-Pokemon character version to the game.

Bojack. Yes. We’re keeping Bojack.

And who knows? At the end of the game, Bojack could speak to us.

Oh fuck, Bojack is speaking. BOJACK IS SPEAKING. This game is cursed by Horse Lucifer. Set fire to the barn.

Another addition are outing tickets. Before you would have to get lucky in the spinning game to earn a vacation ticket to help relationships. Now, you get these tickets to go to different places with your comrades including the library, theater, cafe, and so on.

I went to the movies with Marcus.

Washu and Michael went to the karaoke bar.

Hell, you can even go on day trips with your horse companion.

All of us must band together to fight against the evil, corrupt, disgusting, cheeto-dusted...You already know it’s Trump.

Yes, I still hate the real-life man on Celine Dion levels. And I still see him as a villain. Other than him and the villain at the very end, all of my characters are going to be ones I love.

Like Spongebob!

Crim from Interspecies Reviewers

Butthead and Beavis

Shizuo from Durarara

And the rivalry between Ash and Gary over Misty’s heart.

Yes, my Pokeshipper heart will always pit Ash and Misty together. Up yours Amourshipping!

As for this, I’m just laughing at this cock-eyed fight between Ash and Gary. This game is stupid-ass fun.

As usual, save the kingdom, get Ash and Misty engaged, and Homer is so overcome with emotion.

It’s time to take my harem of boy-toys to the next town and our next advent...

Shit. The Inn..It’s...

Yeah, just like before, you’ve got to start at 0 and your team is kidnapped.

Dude, don’t say that. That sounds like Trump killed my friends and took them to the spirit world.

At least I still have Bojack with me. But time to add a new group.

Like Washu from Tenchi Muyo.

Michael Jackson. Sure he’s been dead for over 10 years, but it’s my game and I’ll add whomever I want.

And Ike from South Park.

Let’s head on down to Neksdor to meet all the colorful characters there.

I knew I was going to add one of the Love Live girls here eventually. She still does her Rubesty!

Dude. DUDE. Seriously, what’s the age of consent in Neksdor?

*snorts*

Shady doesn’t even begin to describe it.

I’m probably going to be the only one showing Empire some love.

And finally...

That’s all for now.

[atamascolily]

Extremely subjective opinions about Star Wars planets

Inspired by @carmarthenfan. I did my top ten faves, and then gave up trying to put these in order, so they're literally in the order they occurred to me.

(This is not conclusive; I left a bunch out. There are a lot of Star Wars planets, y’all.)

1. Tatooine.

Iconic. Terrible place to live. Great place for making your characters suffer. Who cares that the ecology makes no sense when you have wide open spaces, exposed rock layers and salt flats, and a rockin' aesthetic? Not to mention wretched hives of scum and villainy and also, like, ACTUAL DRAGONS.

(Thesis: literally half of what makes ANH so compelling is that it's set on Tatooine.)

2. Yavin IV (Legends)

AKA Jedi Jungle Friendship Camp or Space Guatemala. If I was going to live anywhere in the GFFA, it'd be here. Temple ruins (even if they are infested with Sith ghosts), hot springs, rainforests, biodiversity, awesome eclipses and a giant blood-red gas giant constantly overhead, not much in the way of development... what's not to like? (Okay, the Sith ghosts are a problem, but they got rid of those eventually.)

3. "Forest moon" of Endor, ROTJ

Redwood forests are awesome. I'd totally live in an Ewok treehouse. They're the only place in the galaxy with handrails!!

4. Coruscant

I'd probably hate to live there, but it's a great setting for fic. A surprisingly large amount of wildlife and plant life, despite the rampant development. Epic architecture, lots of culture, Luke has a cool retreat in the Manarai Mountains and Han and Kyp go skiing at the poles. Home of "the room where it happens".  

(most of my fics to date are set on Tatooine, Yavin or Coruscant, lol)

5. Alderaan

Too bad the Empire blew it up. :( IDK about the whole Killik business, but Space Switzerland seems great, and I'd live there in a heartbeat. An actual multi-biome world, wow! I should write more fics about this place.

6. Myrkr (Legends)

Jungle planet with metallic trees and furry, Force-repelling lizards. Also giant vornskrs that use the Force to hunt. Don't forget Talon Karrde's awesome tree base!

7. Dagobah

I love this place, even if living there would be a challenge. Actually kinda has a functioning ecology in canon. Love the sheer abundance of snakes, plus dragonsnakes and the mangrove-like gnarltrees, which are the adult form of giant white spiders (I love plant-animal weirdness like this).

8. Mulako Comet (Legends)

Not technically a planet, but how can you not love a resort carved out of a giant frozen comet HOW. 10/10, we stan. The perfect place for a romantic getaway, especially if you are a water nerd like Luke.

9. Vjun (Legends)

The Gothiest goth place ever to Goth. Has names like "River Weeping" and carnivorous moss that nibbles on Obi-wan. <3. Vader's Goth castle was originally here before the writers moved it to Mustafar.

10. Honoghr (Legends)

Another terrible place to live, thanks to the Empire's sabotage, but I love there's actually an attempt at an ecological plot line here (Timothy Zahn is surprisingly good at those). A single biome world, but for a legit (and sad) reason. I should write some fics about this place.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Corellia (Legends) - It's okay, I guess? I'm not sure how I feel about the Corellian trilogy in general, but there are some things with the Selonians and the Drall that could be interesting for fic? Also, Treasure Ship Row is cool.  

Kessel (Legends) - Hell-realm. Not sure if Kevin J. Anderson's "glitterstim" is the same as "spice," but Han and Kyp have to fight off giant spiders in the dark underground mine, which is certainly dramatic. Had a moon until a prototype Death Star blew it up.

Ithor (Legends) - JUNGLE PLANET POPULATED BY BOTANY NERDS, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. But they won't let you actually explore the surface, because it's sacrilege. :(

Belsavis (Legends) - Hoth on the surface, Yavin in the rift valleys (but with, like, plantations), plus underground tunnels full of monsters and Jedi artifacts. Home of a secret Jedi botany master and his plant friends, so I'm in favor.

Chad (Legends) - Mostly ocean planet--I guess Space Earthsea, but with more geological activity? Callista makes it sound dreamy and idyllic in her flashbacks, but all the native Chadra-Fan are trying to GTFO, so I dunno.

Nam Chorios (Legends) -Like Tatooine, I would probably hate living there, but it's a great setting for a fic. The perpetual twilight would get old fast, but I love the terraformed ecology, the sentient rocks and the Force storms. Drochs are super creepy, though.

Hijarna (Legends) - There are ruins and sweeping vistas. What can I say, Karrde knows how to pick a secret base. :)

Dathomir (Legends) - Rancors have to be native to somewhere, so why not Dathomir? Courtship of Princess Leia is hokey and weird as all get-out, but it did give us Teneniel Djo, and I love her.

Hapes (Legends) -100% better at you than everything, and they know it. Leave them to it.

Yavin 8 (Legends) - Giant snakes and giant eagles... who literally eat children. Kinda weird being in a place where humanoids are on the bottom of the food chain. Love the Melodies' amphibious lifestyle, though.

Wayland (Legends) - Endor with the serial numbers filed off. Still love it, though. And Palpatine built a lair in a giant mountain! Props to him.

Ryloth (Legends) - sounds like an actual hell realm, but a desert planet? One half in perpetual sun, one half in perpetual darkness, and only a very narrow habitable zone? I’m game.

Msst (Legends) - Terrible, if accurate, name. All we ever see is the eponymous mist, plus giant pink creatures that numb you with poison and devour you alive.  Brakiss's home planet. No wonder he hates everything. On the plus side, his mom got to see Luke Skywalker naked, so good for her.

Kashyyyk - TREE WORLD, WE GO HARD (part II). Except I don't think the Wookiees have handrails, do they?

Hoth - Ice, ice, baby. Ecology makes no sense; it's a fucking glacier. I would hate living there, but I've read so many fluff fics about snowfall fights and sex in X-wings and supply closets that I feel a kind of fondness for it.

Byss (Legends) - Dark. Hidden. Secret. Goth as fuck. I like it. Exegol, but with more class.

Ahch-To - Skellig Michael is great, but too recognizable as itself to really be a good stand-in for somewhere else. Puffins are better than porgs. Great place to hide, but I stand by my claims that the Jedi order could not have arisen there. Love the aesthetic. The Caretakers deserved way better!  

Naboo - Space Italy. Would definitely live there. Closest thing we see to Dinotopia in the GFFA. (Tell me Theed isn't Waterfall City!)

Kef Bir - why not just let the original forest moon have multiple biomes? It's okay to have multiple-biome worlds, I promise, we wont get confused. Epic sweeping grasslands, steep cliffs, massive waves. I love what little we see of it.

Crait - you're going to film a Star War on the Bolivian salt flats and NOT make an epic dream sequence with the night sky reflected on the salt?? What. Hoth with red dust. Crystal foxes look like Vulpix from Pokemon, and I like them.

Ilum - cool ice planet gets turned into planet-destroying superweapon and blown up. Not a fan.

Bespin - I don't know about the ecology, but 10/10 for aesthetics.

Nal Hutta / Nar Shaddaa - Ecological disaster. Gross and full of Hutts.

Niraun (Legends) - I don't like caves and that's pretty much all we see. Especially if those caves are filled with carnivorous hordes of Space Army Ants.

Gamorr (Legends) - "Procedures programs for visiting Gamorr consist of a single line: DO NOT VISIT GAMORR. Really!” Especially do not visit in the season known as "slushtime".

Af'El (Legends) - I know very little about it, but it seems cool? "The Dark World". Home planet of the "wraiths" (Defel) and the homunculus wasps.  

Kijimi - "Disneyworld with space facism". Swirling snow and stone looks cool at night. Too bad that fight scene was such a mess. 

Takodana - it's the English Lake District, I'm never going to be able to suspend my disbelief to believe it's anything else.

D'Qar / Ajan Kloss - Yavin IV knockoffs. If you want me to care, you're gonna have to give me something better.

Exegol -  this “planet” is just a CGI soundstage with a floating pyramid/arena whatever, and lightning. Weather instantly improved when Palpatine died, which strongly suggested he liked it that way. Knockoff Byss.

Mustafar - Literal hell-realm. Lava does not work like that. And apparently, ROTS insists it also has snow and trees, which seems like a little too late.

Canto Bight - you'd think people with that much money would have a better-looking planet. ughhhh.

[erischaos]

yours

summary: you found yourself loving Jaehyun, but he never loves anybody.

inspired on the song “wicked game” by Chris Isaak

words: +1,8k

tags: angst, smut.

warning: i portrayed Jaehyun like an asshole but its just for the fic, i’m pretty sure he’s not like that. Please never fall for this kind of relationship, its very toxic.

He wasn’t yours, you always knew that. He was hurting you and even like that, you stayed. Jaehyun is the only good thing in your life, you are part of a girl group with almost no popularity and he made you feel worthy of all his attention. Like the chosen one among all those beautiful girls he came across everyday.

“hey princess, come in” Jaehyun opened the door and kissed you briefly “you look specially pretty today” he said and you blushed like a teenager, quickly said hi to the members and went straight to his room. All the boys in the dorm watched you with pity every time you came to visit him. They knew you weren’t the only one, there was a dozen more who fucked him even more than you, but you choose to be blind. Pretending you never smelled the girl perfume, never saw the broken bracelets in the floor, never listened to the rumors.

He didn’t even gave you time to say anything and collided his lips to yours while he started to take off your clothes. He made you walk backwards until you fell on his bed, with him immediately falling over you. Having his weight over you always made you feel at ease, under him you didn’t had to worry about anything else more than pleasing him. He started to run his hands over your legs, reaching for the waistband of your pants and taking them off, he smiled when he saw your red panties and took them off too.

“you’re still dressed, its not fair” you said jokingly “help me then” you sat on the bed and took his shirt off while he was standing, he tried to lay over you again but you stopped him and made him stand again, while buckling his belt you looked up and he caressed your face “you’re always so good to me y/n, you’re perfect” it was so clear for you that you were his favorite when he was always telling you all those things. You knew you didn’t had to love him, it was going to destroy you, and you always though you were strong enough to not do it but, in moments like this, watching his face contract in pleasure while you sucked him off, you felt a little bit weak.

“enough, lay down” you did what he said and opened your legs, you though that maybe today he was going to go down on you but he put on a condom and lined himself with your entrance. When he saw you getting used to his size he started to pound you harder and deeper every time, you wanted to open your eyes to look at him but you were overwhelmed with pleasure, his dick touched all the right places and it was making you lightheaded, every time you opened your mouth to get some air a loud moan came out. You always felt there was no need to pregame with Jaehyun, you were always wet and ready for wherever he needed you. “look at me y/n, look at me while I destroy that pretty pussy of yours” you did your best and opened your eyes “you´re so good to me, always tight no matter how many times I fuck you”. The realization was painful, you loved him so much, you didn’t wanted to, it made you feel stupid and weak. The godly face you were watching now, dripping in sweat it was a very know sight in the kpop industry. Jaehyun was a fuck boy, he fucked at least one girl in every girl group. He always chose the prettiest ones, and it surprised you when, one night, out of nowhere he texted you. He made you feel so special, he told you that you were the most beautiful girl he ever laid his eyes on, the one with the prettiest body and the most stunning voice. The sexting came soon after and a few days later you were cumming in his bed, again and again. You came back to reality when he detached himself from you and turned you around, handling you into all fours. Your face was mushed to the mattress and he started to be more and more rough, he pulled you up by your hair and whispered in your ear “I want to hear you cry”. You didn’t realized that until now your cries were being muffled by the mattress, so when he pulled you up you noticed how loud you were being, almost to the point of screaming. For one second the imagine of the rest of the boys in the living room hearing you made you embarrassed but you forgot the sensation quickly when Jaehyun started rubbing your clit “come on baby, cum on my cock” you were already dripping when he said that, so seconds after you came even the floor was wet. “ow, look at the mess the stupid baby made” he kept on pounding you until you rode your orgasm and you felt brainless, he knew your body so well, you almost blurted an I love you, but something stopped you, maybe after all your weren’t that braindead and you knew that it would ruin the moment and make everything tense, so you simply remained quiet. “would you let me cum on your pretty face, angel?” you were a whore for him, always delivering so you nodded and turned around, falling on your knees on the messy floor, took off his condom and started to suck on his dick again, you were used to him fucking your mouth so when he grabbed your head and started to face-fuck you, you let him and focused on breathing through your nose despite your gagging. A few moments later he took his dick out of your mouth and came all over your face and tongue, you swallowed as much as you could and with the simple sight of his face, contorted in pleasure, you came again, untouched.  That was the only time you could hear him moan, when he came. It was music to your ears, you made him feel good, and the proof was all over your face.

When you two calmed and got some air he cleaned himself with an dirty shirt that was on the floor, put on his pants and went to the bathroom to grab a towel for you. You sat on his bed to wait and you noticed a hair tie under the shelve, on the floor. A hair tie that wasn’t yours. Like all the other things that once in a while you found on his room you choose to ignore it as well, but the pain and the tears showed up anyways. When he came back you thanked god all your face was a mess and the tears weren’t noticeable enough, so you simply wiped your face and your parts.

When you got dressed and ready to leave he stopped you. “y/n I heard it was your birthday a few days ago so I bought you this” from one of the shelves he handed you a medium size velvet box. Inside there was a delicate but beautiful necklace, with a J engraved in a musical note pendant. Happiness tears filled your eyes and you ran to hug him, he kindly patted your back in return. Maybe you were wrong, you misunderstood all the signs of him having another girls and you were the only one in his life, you were special and he loved you. “Its so pretty Jae, I love it, thank you so much” you tiptoe to kiss him on his lips “I want you to wear it always, ok angel? Like that, everyone will know you’re mine”. You nodded and he helped you putting in on and stood behind you, facing the mirror on his wall, you thought that maybe wasn’t a bad thing to tell him you loved him now, and just when you were about to confess your feelings the member you knew as Jungwoo knocked the door, and from outside he said they were going to start a vlive soon and that they needed him there. Jaehyun looked at you and with the face he always did when it was time for you to leave, you understood and without saying a word you left the dorms.

Days after you were in the middle of your group promotions, going to all the music shows the company payed for. There were a lot of other girl groups also, so you didn’t stand a chance to win but you were full of hope anyways. On the backstage you came across a very know group from one of the big three, and since your leader knew them you tag along with her to say hi. You almost collapsed when you realized that, the one that you knew as the visual from said group was wearing the same necklace as you. “that’s a beautiful necklace Jisoo, where did you get it?” she laughed a little bit and you were thankful your own necklace was under your sweater “oh just a guy I have been seeing gave it to me when we won on inkigayo last week” she grabbed the little pendant and showed it to you. It also had the J engraved. You politely said goodbye and did something that was going to destroy you completely. You took a walk around the place, from the few groups that were there, at least one of them had the same necklace. It was his signature, a kind of checklist he had, to mark the ones he already fucked. You weren’t special, you were just one more. All the girls knew that fucking Jaehyun was just for fun, they understood that and they wore the necklace proudly, if was like they were part of a selected group of privileged girls that shared the pleasure of fucking one of the best dicks out there. He knew what he was doing.

It was no point on telling him you knew everything, you needed to be like those girls and face the truth, he saw you like a pussy and you should see him as a dick. As a way of relieving stress, as a way of relax outside the industry. You loved him? Yes. After all, you kept doing it. You wanted to keep on seeing him, to keep on kissing him, keep on fucking him. Wasn’t the price too high? Yes it was. Seeing someone, kissing someone and fucking someone that you love that you had to share hurted like million knives. But it was better than nothing. It was staying with him or never touch him again. On camera Jaehyun was perfect, his dimples, his voice, his manners, everything about him was dreamy. He literally created the perfect man, but when he broke character, when he was with you being heartless he was perfect in your eyes as well. Laying now on his bed, watching him sleep after he came all over you was your place on earth, you had to seize every moment with him until he gets bored of you because you were his but, after all, he wasn’t yours, you always knew that.

I’ve been writing a lot about Johnny so i wanted to write about my other bias, Jaehyun. Why no one told me writing smut was thaaat hard??? i almost gave up like a hundred times. I hope you like it, its kinda sad and the girl knows what she’s doing is wrong but please, never accept something like this, we always deserve to be loved. Let me know if you find any mistakes♥ Thank you for reading meeee ♥♥♥

[basicallywhiterice]

Eight words: Han Jisung

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader

Genre: Enemies to lovers, lowkey friends to lovers lmao, smidge of angst, fluff

Warnings: Cursing

Word count: 8.5 k

Summary: Sure, one could tell someone they loved them with eight letters. But eight words convey deeper, more complex meanings.

a/n: Happy birthday, Han aka J. One aka Jisung! I wish you a smooth, unhurried transition into adulthood, as do all Stays. And dear reader, I present to you this fic about my bias… enjoy!

•••

One word.

Three words and eight letters can sum up my feelings towards Han Jisung, although they’re much more intense than what eight letters can contain.

“I hate you.”

Case in point: After a long day of lectures and labs, I’m ready to throttle him.

“Jisung.”

“Y/n,” he mocks, making his voice higher to imitate mine.

No, he’s not my friend. Of course not. I wouldn’t tell a friend: “I’ve been looking for you. Thanks for responding to my text messages asking where you were. I really appreciate it.” No, Jisung’s really more like a stuck up, annoying dumbass who happens to do well on every test he takes.

“Oh, I had my phone turned off. But you missed me that much?”

I puff my cheeks up and sigh. “You wish. Do you wanna review for the Bio exam together?”

“Biology?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“The one I’m really good at?”

“Debatable, but whatever floats your boat.”

“And let me get this straight,” he says, trying—and failing—to suppress a smile. “You need my help to study for it? My help? The help of me, Han Jisung? J. One? The one for you?”

“I don’t need your fucking help-” I bite back a few colorful words when I see his barely-hidden smile expand into a smirk and he shakes his head, almost disapprovingly. “Sort of, yes.” I muster the fakest smile I can display without cringing, tilting my head for added sarcasm.

“No.”

“Why not?” I sigh, having expected this to happen.

“What’s the fun in that, darling?”

Heat creeps into my cheeks as I fume over his disgusting pet name. “Han Jisung, I’m gonna strangle you in your sleep-”

“While that sounds tempting, and I had no idea you were into that, you’re not giving me any other reasons to help you, darling.” He leans back, resting his head against his pretty soft interlaced fingers, fixing me with The Look™ that lets me know he’s messing with me and thoroughly enjoying every second of it.

“We’ve studied for every test together and I’m sick of asking if you want to study every single time? Is that a good enough fucking reason for you?”

He drops one of his hands down and rests his index finger on his chin. “That’s valid…” he exhales, after a long, drawn out pause.

I nearly deck him in the face. I roll my eyes instead. “You know what, I’m leaving. Tell me your answer tomorrow if you need that long to think.” I shove my binders and textbooks into my backpack, swing it up on my shoulders, and make a beeline for the door. It’s not fair to snap at him so unexpectedly like this, but with the first semester at college rushing to a close, I don’t have enough time to play these petty games.

“Hey, hey, hey, wait up. What’s wrong?” he runs after me and pulls me back by my elbow with his right hand.

I take a deep breath, trying to rationalize my anger that’s not because of him but directed at him (at least, not today). “Nothing, I’m just really not in the mood for this kind of exchange for another twenty minutes. I have to study for more than just the science exam. I’d like it if we could just skip this elaborate negotiating for just one day.”

“Oh.” He lets go of my arm. “Yeah. Sure. Studying for exams together. Same studying schedule, texting if we change any days?” When I nod in affirmation, he sticks his hands into his jacket pockets. “Sorry for stressing you out more. You can tell me when you’re having a bad day, you know.”

Oh. “I know. Sorry for snapping at you. I didn’t mean it.” He starts to say something, but I hold up a hand. “It’s somewhat tolerable to have someone to banter with every day.” I blurt out.

Jisung glances down, then raises his gaze to meet mine. His eyes squeeze into crescents. His plump lips (ew) stretch outwards to reveal his pearly whites. I’m sure that my expression mirrors his.

“Good to know my efforts are appreciated.”

“Don’t get a big head. Well, don’t get an even bigger one.”

“You mean a big brain.”

“No, you don’t have a brain.”

He feigns a hurt expression. “Wow, princess. I thought I was tolerable.”

“You ruined the mood!” I shake my head, laughing. “You’re only somewhat tolerable. Definitely not when you call me pet names.”

“Sugar, you wound me.”

“Han Jisung!” I smack his arm half-heartedly.

“You love it though, honey.” He rests his hand on the top of my backpack, gently guiding me out the library doors and towards the parking lot.

Hm.

(Yes.)

•••

Two words.

This was supposed to be a peaceful weekend hangout.

“Felix, put that knife down! Right now! Or no Fortnite for a week!”

Somehow, all our weekend hangouts end up with Chan and Woojin babysitting. That is, until they act like kids themselves.

“Don’t challenge him to a knife fight, Chan! This isn’t Australia, where you have to fend for yourself in the desert—Kim Woojin if you join them I’ll let Minho cook dinner for a week.”

Then the rest of us babysit them until we figure out a better alternative to plastic-knife fencing (Changbin and Chan end up winning after they team up). After finally agreeing on going to the park (like in the Boxer video you know), the boys take over the swings and unintentionally terrorize children (while complaining about freezing to death) while Ryujin and I rethink our life choices and miss Tzuyu, who’s in Taiwan visiting her family.

“Why are we friends with them, again?” she asks, picking at her nails and pretending not to laugh when Seungmin throws wood chips in Hyunjin’s face.

“Yeah, y/n, why are you friends with us?” Jisung butts in after Jeongin refuses all of his hugs. I shoot him a thumbs up, and he grins behind Jisung’s back.

“I’m not friends with you. I’m friends with everyone else here because they’re cool, unlike you, stupid.”

“Ah, you were never a good liar, sweetie.”

Ryujin stifles a laugh, and I shoot her a half-hearted glare. “Not right now, Jisung. I’m still stressing over exam grades.”

“All the teachers entered them this morning, you know.” Surprisingly, there were no pet names present in that sentence. Hallelujah.

“They did?” I check my phone, and sure enough, all the exam grades are there. “What! I was reloading this page all morning! What’d you get in Bio?”

“An A. You?”

“As expected. Same.”

“As expected,” he mimics.

“Is that why you didn’t drag me on the slides?” Ryujin asks. “Because you were worried about your grades, that always end up being an A?”

“No comment.”

“You should go and have fun now that you know your GPA is safe,” she suggests. “No point in coming here if you’re just going to sit here.”

“You were the one who refused to associate with these,” I jab a thumb at the boys, “losers.”

“Oops.”

“You guys should play tag with us or something,” Jisung offers. “See who’s a loser then.”

“Challenge accepted. I’ll go round up the others,” Ryujin agrees, pushing herself off the metal bench and jogging over to the swings.

“What about you, y/n?” asks Jisung.

“Hm. Maybe.” I pretend to think, already knowing my answer is going to be yes.

“Come on! Join us?”

“How could I say no? I can’t just sit back and watch you lose without joining and winning against you.”

“... I’m going to pretend the reason is because you’re such a great friend to us.”

“Only the rest of them. Not you.” I correct him.

“Thank you. ‘preciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

•••

Three words.

The ice on the streets is frozen and so am I.

I had ducked into the quaint little cafe on campus to grab a hot drink and to regain feeling in my feet when I saw what’s causing me to stand here—frozen, like a statue.

I saw Jisung. In our cafe. The one I frequent at least twice a week with him (not voluntarily, of course. He follows me here, probably to annoy me more, and I let him so I can annoy him more.)

Under normal circumstances, I’d be disgusted, not paralyzed. But today is different.

He sits at a two-person table. Next to him, a girl leans over his shoulder, wearing the headphones connected to his computer, occasionally commenting on parts of what I assume is his latest song. Her backpack rests on one of her shoulders. When she turns her head, I can see her face clearly.

He’s with Tzuyu, one of the youngest rising stars in the arts at our university, a hardworking student, an all-around sweet person, and a good friend of ours.

Why, one might ask, did I freeze in place? Simple: I’m sick of Jisung trying to woo girls with the songs he composes.

Once I regain my senses, shuffle forward in line, and place my order, I glance over at their table again. Tzuyu takes off the headphones and starts talking while pointing to different places on his laptop. Jisung smiles sheepishly at the last thing she says. The little prick. It must be an act–after all, if he’s flirted with so many girls through his music, he should be used to the compliments.

Tzuyu walks away from him after glancing at her watch and waving goodbye. She notices me when she’s halfway to the cafe door and grins, waving at me before she shoots Jisung one last smile and leaves. I wave back.

Of course, this exchange means that Jisung notices me. He motions for me to wait, holding up one finger. He clicks around on his laptop, closes it, and slides it into his backpack, along with his headphones. He stands up right as my drink is finished and my name is called. I snag the drink and try to rush to the door as discreetly as possible. Unfortunately, I’m very conspicuous, and Jisung follows me, calling my name.

I’m outside when he catches up with me, frozen in place once again as I internally debate if I should stay and talk to him or leave him. He makes the decision for me when he steps beside me, tugging my elbow in the direction I’m facing to get me to walk so I don’t hold up foot traffic.

“I told you to wait for me in there, y/n. You usually do it, why’d you ignore me today?”

Play dumb, y/n. “Who’s y/n?” Not that dumb!

I clear my throat and try again. “You were in there?”

He raises his eyebrows. “I know you saw me.” When I don’t reply, he sighs. “Walk with me? It’s the last week before break and I won’t have the pleasure of personally annoying you every day.”

I tilt my head forward to tell him to start walking. I can only think of a (half-hearted) protest once we’ve walked a full block. “It’s going to snow soon.”

“You love the snow.”

I exhale through my mouth, forming a cloud of condensation with my breath in the crisp, chilly air. “Yeah, I do.”

A beat passes. Quietly, Jisung asks, “Are you mad?” Another beat. “At me?”

I think back to Tzuyu getting the opportunity to hear an unreleased track. “No, I’m not.” My heart pangs when I picture them leaning in so close together, even though my rational self tells me I shouldn’t be mad over something that small, especially if it concerns such a close friend and such a stupid asshole.

“I think you’re mad. You’re talking a lot less than normal.”

“Congratulations. You must think you’re so smart.”

“Thanks for finally noticing.”

“Look, what do you want?”

“I want to know why you’re mad.”

“Who said I was mad?”

He snorts in disbelief. “You literally just admitted to it.”

“When did I say that?” I stop walking.

He laughs, a dry, airy chuckle that morphs into a sigh. “I just want to know why you’re mad, and if I can help.”

I scoff. “Thanks for your concern, but I think I’ll be alright. Is there anything else-”

“No, you don’t seem like you’ll be fine! You almost never get angry!”

“Why are you so angry about me being angry? Not everything’s about you.”

I suppose it would be a great testament to anyone else’s character if they realized my insults were just my anger speaking and refused to insult me back. However, this is Jisung we’re talking about. He’s more likely to stop talking because he can’t think of a retort, not because he’s conscientious.

Sigh. Maybe he’s not that bad after all.

Just when I acknowledge the slim possibility that Jisung might not be a jerk all of the time, he reaches out and steals my phone.

“What-”

“I’m not giving this back until you tell me why.” He taps away at the lock screen, and unlocks it.

My lips part slightly and my eyebrows crease together. I’m in shock. “How-”

“I’ve seen you enter your password a lot, I just never thought about using it until today. Let’s see… should I read over the English story you refuse to send me because it’s not done yet?”

I break out of my stupor. “Stop it! There’s a reason I haven’t sent it yet. It’s horrible!” I reach out, left arm flailing uselessly, hand smacking his shoulder. He just steps back and turns away from me.

“Oops, too late.” Over his shoulder, I can see him click on the Google Docs app and open the most recently edited document. He scrolls the page down, reading as he goes, but he’s moving around so much that I can’t read the words on the screen at first. My heart nearly stops when I recognize the format of my poetry doc, a place where I word vomit all my artistic and lyrical poetry ideas.

“Jisung, stop! Right now!” I wonder how desperate I sound right now, although I try not to show it.

That’s my poetry. It’s raw, unfinished, and, quite frankly, really cringy. I’ve only trusted Ryujin, Tzuyu, and Hyunjin enough to read one poem, let alone all of them. And now Jisung is scrolling through the entire document.

My blood boils over, simultaneously turning to ice. I chuck my cup of hot chocolate into the trash can. My appetite’s been ruined. I wrestle my phone out of his grip using two hands, palms and fingers crashing against the screen, frantically checking to see if I accidentally modified my poems with my clumsy tapping. I silently sigh in relief when I’m certain nothing was edited. Then, I fix Jisung with a cold, blank stare.

“Those poems were good…” he trails off when I take a step towards him. “No, really.”

“Those were personal poems that I don’t want people to read unless I decide to share them when they’re finished. I don’t want someone who’s going to make fun of me to read it! Don’t you understand the concept of privacy?” I spit out through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry. That… kind of reminds me of my songs and how I only share them with people I trust a lot when they’re unfinished. I shouldn’t have gone through all of that.”

“It reminds you of your songs? Well, unlike you, I don’t use my creative work to flirt with others.”

He flinches, eyes wide and panicked. “How did you know about that?”

“About you flirting through songs? It’s obvious: you let them listen to your unfinished work, and then they compliment you and you pretend to be all humble and everything and-” I groan and run a hand through my hair. Be a nice person. Don’t insult him. Be a nice person. Don’t insult him. Be a nice-

“Are you mad that Tzuyu was helping me with a song earlier in the cafe? Is that why you’re mad?”

I gape at him. “The world doesn’t revolve around you and your enormous ego! Plus, don’t you remember what happened the last time you stole my phone?”

Jisung wasn’t always this annoying. When I first met him, I even thought he was cute. (I still do, but I always deny it, and any non-platonic feelings, if anyone accuses me of thinking that way.) But a few weeks after I met him, when we had become friends, he stole my phone and accidentally deleted a notes page where I kept several passwords (that I was too lazy to remember). He apologized, but the damage had already been done.

“I’ve never used my music to flirt with anyone. And for your information, I ran into Tzuyu. I didn’t invite her to flirt with her.”

Oh. “Ok, and?”

He drags a hand over his face. “Why were you mad at me when we left the cafe?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. I’m ready to storm off and leave, but I realize that Jisung did have a point. Today is the last day before break, and even if he’s a conceited jerk, I don’t want to end things on a bad note until we see each other again.

I take a deep breath. “Let’s sit down and talk through this like civilized people. Is that ok?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do this entire time!”

I drag him over to a bench and plop down, leaving a respectable amount of distance between us. “You want to know why I’m mad? I’ve been asking to hear your unreleased tracks for who knows how long, and you won’t even let me read the lyrics. I have to wait until you and the rest of 3racha drop an album. And I understand that! You're allowed to not share your work! But you also let a ton of people listen to your songs and they just end up complimenting your talent, whereas I’ve offered to help you refine your songs. To me, that seems shallow, especially since most people you show them to are girls. And then you go through my poems without my permission. To be fair, I might be overreacting.”

“No, you’re not. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I smile tiredly. “Sure, I’ll probably share them someday, but I need a heads up. I thought you would’ve understood how much they mean to me since you’re protective of your songs.” I drag a hand over my face. “Ok, rant’s over.”

And so I spend the next half an hour understanding Jisung’s point of view. I end up accepting his apology. As we part ways, he pulls me into a hug. I don’t resist, and bury my face into his shoulder. When we pull apart, he waves before walking away. I can’t help the goofy smile that spreads onto my face once his back is turned. Suddenly, a thought washes over me.

Idiot. I’ll miss you.

•••

Four words.

Winter break is refreshing.

That is, until I realize how unproductive I’m being. Then I panic, becoming both unproductive and unhappy.

It’s almost a relief when I get back to school, until I realize how much work I’m drowning in. Then I wish I was on break again.

Sigh. The paradoxes of life.

On the bright side, at least I get to see my squad again. (And (see) roast Jisung.)

On the third week back from school, Hyunjin drags Ryujin and me to one of 3racha’s monthly shows (they have quite the fanbase on campus.) We would’ve gone anyways, but Hyunjin is a nice addition.

The first thing he says when we arrive at the venue is, “Aren’t you so excited about seeing Jisung perform? Hmm?” while wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yeah, y/n, aren’t you going to gush about how cute he looks while performing?” Ryujin adds.

“No. And that was one time. Once.”

“No, it’s every time. You always talk about him.” Hyunjin may have a point.

“Is there something that we should know?” Ryujin asks slyly. “I am your roommate, so if you’re going to talk about him 24/7, you might as well just tell us you like him instead of being in denial.”

“No. I don’t like him. I never talk about him.” My words sound weak even to me. “Remember? He’s like my mortal enemy.”

Pause. The two of them stare at me skeptically, waiting for me to stop denying everything.

“Ok, fine. He looks so fricking attractive when he’s performing, and his eyes transform completely and it’s like looking at a sharper version of him, and he still manages to be absolutely adorable when he smiles and his nose and eyes scrunch up, and-” I envelope Ryujin in a hug, cringing in embarrassment. She tries not to laugh, but I can feel her shoulders shaking. Hyunjin fails to contain his amusement, laughing so loudly that 3racha, preparing backstage, can probably hear him.

“Not a single word to anyone,” I make them promise.

“I’m totally convinced that you don’t have a crush on him,” Hyunjin says once he’s stopped laughing (two minutes later.)

“You’re the one who’s all buddy-buddy with him when you tried to beat him up that one time in high school.”

“People change,” he shrugs. “But you’ve always seemed like you had a soft spot for him.”

“No, you’re wrong. He’s my sworn enemy. He deleted my passwords that one time and read my poems and that makes him my arch-nemesis.” I sigh. “Oh, who am I kidding?”

Luckily (or not), Jisung chooses this moment to saunter over, sparing me from all their teasing. “What’s up, my dudes? Are you ready to get wowed by us?”

“Wow is your best song yet. You’re performing that tonight, right?” I confirm.

“Yup. I’m sure you guys can get some meme-worthy material out of Changbin’s reactions.”

“Jisung, have I ever told you how attractive you look when you perform?” snickers Hyunjin, excessively batting his eyelashes and latching onto Jisung. I shoot him daggers with my eyes while trying to look not-exactly-murderous to Jisung. Ryujin stifles a laugh at my expense for the second time tonight.

“Thanks, buddy. I’m aware, but it’s nice to know that someone appreciates my hotness every once in a while.”

“Why are we here again?” I wonder out loud, giggling at the overly dramatic look of betrayal that Jisung puts on.

“My dear, it’s obviously for me! How could you forget?”

“Oh right, it was for my favorite 3racha member, Changbin!”

Jisung shrugs Hyunjin off, coming over and embracing me playfully. “No, not allowed.”

“C’mon, let’s go say hi to my man, Changbin!” I tell the ‘jins, tilting my head towards the stage.

“Noooo. Darling, that’s so mean.”

I give up on pushing Jisung off once it’s clear that he stubbornly refuses to leave. I ruffle his hair instead as “revenge.” (“Hey! That took me a solid five seconds to style! You’re fixing that.” “Yeah, yeah, whatever floats your boat.”) Ryujin, Hyunjin, and I agree that we should go greet Chan and Changbin. As we head backstage to say hi to 2racha, Jisung reluctantly stops hugging me when it gets too difficult to walk. He still keeps a hand loosely anchored on my right shoulder. I don’t complain, nor do I shrug him off. I guess it feels nice ok when he’s a normal, chill, person.

Ok, that was an under-exaggeration. I feel like I’m on cloud nine.

Maybe Ryujin is secretly a mind reader, or maybe I’m just really transparent, because she pokes my arm, not saying anything when I ask her “what,” while trying to hide the furious blush I know is present on my face. She just raises her eyebrows and grins. I widen my eyes back.

“So, uh y/n.” starts Jisung, breaking me out of my semi-staring contest with Ryujin. “There’s an open mic at our cafe next week—you know, the one we go to at least twice a week? Anyways, there’s an open mic next Friday and I was planning on going to either test out a new song I produced or a couple of poems I wrote and would you—I was wondering if you wanted to go too? I know you’re a little hesitant about sharing your poems, but from what I saw, you had some really good works and I’m sure other people would enjoy your poetry too. And of course you don’t have to go, I just thought it would be a fun experience if you were down.”

I’m floored. Han Jisung being genuinely nice and considerate? Unheard of. But when I start thinking about all my previous encounters with him, I realize that this is not the exception—it’s the rule.

Maybe I was so intent on labeling him as a rival that I’ve been halfheartedly denying the existence of his good traits.

“Thank you for appreciating my poems. That… honestly, that means so much to me. I’d love to go and perform. As long as I have time to prepare and I get to choose what to present… it’ll be new, but doable.” I wrap both arms around his waist and squish the left side of my face against his right shoulder. “I’m excited for Friday.”

“I’m glad you’re excited.”

“I’m glad you’re glad.”

Wait. What am I doing lowkey cuddling him in public? Oh well. I don’t hate it. In fact, I might go as far as to say… I really like it.

(When we get backstage, I fist-bump Changbin and do a weird quasi-dance off with Chan before hugging them both and wishing them good luck before promising to record the entirety of Wow. Jisung pouts and pouts and pouts some more until I fix his hair, then takes my hands and pulls me around in circles like the man-child he is.

Ryujin promises to tell their embarrassing stories to all their fans after she greets 2racha.

Hyunjin forgoes any formalities and starts complaining about Seungmin.

“Chan, control your child! He’s becoming more and more savage. The world can’t contain his saltiness.”

“Maybe that’s his way of showing love.”

His face goes :o. “RYUJIN, YOU’RE A GENIUS!”)

•••

Five words.

It’s Wednesday and I am: straight-up not having a good time (bro).

After a long day filled with tests and being even more sleep-deprived than usual due to said tests, I really just want to curl up into a ball and do absolutely nothing.

Unfortunately, I need to stay awake in order to finish a creative writing story (yes, another one.) Then, I need to study for two more tests for tomorrow and do a shit ton of homework. On top of that, with the open mic two days away, I’m furiously revising and editing what I’m presenting.

To be completely honest, I’ve been playing with ways to reference Jisung in my poems. I know: crazy, right? Stupid Jisung and his stupid mole on his left cheek on his stupid face that my gaze always drifts back to. Stupid Jisung and his genuinely expressive personality. Stupid Jisung and his amazingly accurate intuition and knowledge and pair of eyes that allow him to say things like:

“You’re staring at me quite a bit, sugar.”

“Oh, shut up. I’m just thinking of all the ways I… could get you to shut up.” I finish lamely.

“Really, now.” He leans towards me in his stupid library chair. “Do any of them involve making out in the library?”

Gahhhh. “Not funny didn’t laugh.” I go back to trying to be productive, but it’s hard when my brain is spewing out thoughts faster than (Jisung) Changbin and Chan can rap.

It sucks sometimes when Jisung makes all these suggestive jokes because he’ll never see me in a romantic light. I think that might be part of the reason why I try (and routinely fail) to act so cold to him: I was aware of all the emotions beneath the way I wanted to view and portray him. (My brain: No, this is not a crush. Crushes are shallow and go away after a week. These feelings aren’t going anywhere.)

I get through editing one paragraph of my story before Jisung speaks again. “Are you considering the offer?”

“No.” Maybe. Yes. “Don’t you have a lab report to write?”

“I’d gladly give up on that for you.”

“Jisung, stop, please. Not tonight, ok? On any other day I’d go along with your banter, but I have serious shit to get done with tonight.”

“Oh, ok. Do you want me to help with anything?”

“Nah, I’m fine. Thanks for offering.”

I give up on my story for the time being and slip an earbud into the ear facing away from Jisung. I pull out a thicc textbook and finish my Calculus homework. A page of notebook paper later, I’m done. I close the book, lean back in my seat, and rub my eyes.

“You look like you need a break,” he notes.

“I don’t know…”

“Come on, you deserve it. I’ll even play with your hair.” Darn it! Why why why does Jisung know all my weaknesses? It’s always a destresser for me when plays with my hair. Still, I’m a little hesitant to completely neglect my work for five minutes.

“I’ll give you a back rub too.” Hesitation? Productivity? Who? We don’t know them.

I fall into his outstretched arms and nuzzle my head in the crook of his neck. He laughs a little, leaning back in his chair. His soft hoodie creates a comfortable cushioning, and I sigh in contentment when he runs a hand through my hair, wrapping my arms around his waist. He shifts his legs so his knees are slightly angled toward me, and I do the same.

Then he shifts his right arm and closes the lid of my computer. And picks it up off the table. And sets it back down further away from me so I can’t reach it.

“Jisungggggg,” I whine, reluctantly lifting up my head. I extend my left arm, trying to grasp it, but he just pushes it away again. “I need that. Gotta get this bread. Flaunt that croissant. Ice that rice.” I’m not sure when I stopped talking and started babbling nonsense, but I can blame my lack of sleep for that.

‘What you need is a good night of rest.” He picks up the laptop and holds it close to him, turning away from me.

My senses kick back in. “No! I need to get all this stuff done first. Then I can sleep. Give,” my right hand grasps the edge of my computer. “It,” I give a strong yank. “Back!” We engage in a brief game of tug-of-war before I almost pull it out of his grasp. Then he snatches it back, firmly in his grip.

I huff and pull out my phone forcefully, opening the Google doc containing my poems and stories I’m planning on presenting at open mic for a few revisions and edits. “Must you always be this infuriating? Like, is there a point to stealing my computer when there’s stuff I need to do?”

A small, almost imperceptible pause. I almost don’t even notice it because it’s so brief. It goes straight to the back of my mind.

“You need to rest, y/n. I don’t think all of this stressing is good for you.”

“That doesn’t mean you can steal my computer.”

“Deal with it.”

I sigh. “I hate you right now,” I mumble tiredly. I go back to skimming over my prose and poetry, inserting and deleting a few words here and there.

I have no idea how long the silence stretches on until Jisung responds. “I know, you’ve told me.”

“Yeah, ‘cuz it’s the truth.” Is it grammatically acceptable to use the word ‘like’ in a narrative if you want to have a casual tone? Like, if you want to express a coherent train of thought without using too many words? Would that tone be acceptable? Jisung’s tone just now was off. He almost seemed hurt—oh my god what did I just say.

I come to the (belated) realization that I falsely told him I hated him—with what sounded like conviction, too!—just as he speaks.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and sometimes, you treat me like I’m you’re enemy or rival. I thought we were friends. I wrote you a song—multiple songs. I’ve tried dropping so many hints about how I see you as more than just a friend, but all this time, you saw me as less than one.”

My drowsiness has dissipated. “No, Jisung, I wasn’t thinking—have you never seen me as a rival?”

“It’s ok. You’re not obligated to feel anything for me. You don’t owe me anything. And of course not. I would never see you in such a negative way.” His entire demeanor changes. Jisung is normally very open about his emotions, whether he’s happy, stressed, excited, sad, hurt, enthusiastic, or serious. In this instance, though, his face falls into a more neutral expression that betrays next to nothing about what he’s thinking. But this expression is more than enough to tell me what he feels.

He’s hurt because of what I said. Deeply hurt.

“You could’ve just told me that you hated me,” he continues. “I don’t understand why you would make me feel like we were friends while secretly despising me.”

“Jisung, I don’t hate you.”

“Sure you don’t.” He laughs without humor. “Well, seeing as you clearly don’t want my company, I’ll leave now.” He shoves his laptop, textbook, and notebook into his backpack. He rises and starts walking off.

I rush after him.

“No, Jisung, I didn’t mean it. Please just listen to me.” I catch his left arm a few seconds after we exit the library. He stands there, stationary, neither moving towards me nor pulling away from me. The wind gently breezes past the two of us, tousling the ends of his hair. My heart threatens to get stuck in my throat. I swallow and force myself to go on. “I don’t hate you. You can hate me all you want for saying hurtful things to you, but I’ve never hated you and never will.”

“I could never hate you. And while you may not completely hate me, if you’ve always felt hostile toward me—ever since the start of our so-called ‘friendship’—I don’t really know what to think anymore.”

“No, that’s not what I think. At all. Please hear me out.”

“I think I should leave. Have fun studying without a constant annoying distraction.” He lets his arm slip out of my grip, taking a step forward. “Goodbye.”

He takes long strides away from the library, away from me. All I can think about is how wrong he is. About how wrong I am.

I hurt him, a person with one of the truest hearts and most genuine personalities I’ve ever met. Always being open and transparent with his thoughts, never failing to make me smile. He knows me so well, and I know so much about him, too. He’s been through the ups and the downs with me, and I’ve stayed by his side when he’s needed support, too. He even manages to harness raw, heavy emotions and transform it into beautiful songs such as ‘I see’ that he, Han Jisung, J. One, produces. And now he thinks I hate him.

“No,” I whisper to myself after he’s gone and no one is around to hear me. “It’s the opposite of that.”

I like him so much. Platonically, and romantically. But I’ve missed my chance to tell him, and I’ve broken our friendship that we’ve always had, even if I denied its existence.

Five words can crush someone.

•••

Six words.

Once I’m done with my self reflection about just how foolish and spiteful I acted, I call Ryujin, Hyunjin, and Tzuyu for help. We meet at the dorm Ryujin and I share.

Hyunjin silently shakes his head. Ryujin gives me a side-hug, rubbing circles into my right shoulder. Tzuyu is the first to speak after I describe the events that happened.

“He really likes you. He’s written at least five songs for you and ten songs about you. That day in the cafe, when I ran into him and saw you, he asked for my opinion on one of his songs for you. The reason why he’s never asked you two,” she glances at Hyunjin and Ryujin, “is because he thought you guys would spill the beans.” She sits down on my right side and offers me a hug. “You need to talk to him as soon as possible. He’s cares enough to write songs for you.”

“I know, but he won’t respond to any of my messages or calls.”

“Honestly,” Hyunjin starts, “I’m sorry if this sounds bad, but we were always convinced that you two were secretly dating and wouldn’t tell us.” He half-smiles awkwardly. “Don’t give up just yet.”

“I’m so stupid.”

“Don’t say that!” Ryujin comforts. “We all make mistakes. Don’t let this bother you and make you give up. I’d say that you’ve learned a lot from this.”

“Thanks, Ryu.” I groan, my face falling into my hands. “What the heck am I supposed to do?” I wrote you a song. I thought we were friends. I’ve dropped hints about how I see you as more than just a friend.

He cares enough to write songs for you.

I’ve been thinking of ways to reference Jisung in my poems.

“That’s it!” I exclaim. “Poetry! And maybe a short story, too.” When I see three confused faces, I elaborate. “He’s written songs about me, right? Well, writing is important to me, so what if I wrote about him in the stuff I’m reading at the open mic? And apologize and explain to him afterwards? All I need to do is make sure he goes to open mic, and you guys could help me convince him. At least, that’s the best idea I can think of right now.”

“Sure.” “We’ll help you.” “You got this, girl!”

Their encouragement lifts my mood, and I’m overly optimistic for a second. My phone buzzes, and I dare to hope that I might be able to mend my relationship with Jisung.

The message is from Jisung, and I foolishly hope for the best. Then I read what he sent.

You don’t have to pretend, y/n.

He doesn’t believe me. He doubts that I see him positively because of how hurtful I acted and the words I said to him. Honestly, I don’t even blame him. If I was in his position, I’d probably do the same.

I have screwed up. Big time.

I never meant to hurt or belittle him, even if I claimed he was my enemy. But somewhere along the way, I turned into one of the worst kinds of people and did.

I hope I can salvage this.

•••

Seven words.

Breathe in, breathe out. Calm down. Everything will turn out fine.

It’s showtime. After much persuasion, Tzuyu and Hyunjin convinced Jisung to perform at open mic (of course, they had to make him think I wouldn’t attend.) Jisung will perform first, then perform one more time after three people. I’m the person right before him.

I stand inside near the counter, far away from our regular table near the windows. He hasn’t seen me yet. I fiddle with my hands, trying to hide my face. I breathe a sigh of relief when he hops on stage to perform. He hasn’t seen me yet.

He greets the patrons of the cafe, cracking a few jokes before kicking things off with a revised version of ‘For you’. He gets halfway through it before he locks eyes with me.

I tentatively wave. He glances away.

After he finishes, he receives a warm round of applause. He grins, equally bashful and proud, and hops off the stage. He situates himself far away from me.

Two more people present. Two and a half minutes into the second person’s slam poetry performance, I work up the courage to shuffle over to him.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’ve never hated you. I’ve never even disliked you. In fact, I feel the opposite way. I just never thought you’d see me as more than a friend, so I tried convincing myself that you weren’t an all-around amazing person. It didn’t work. It would never work.”

He stares at me, not speaking. I press on.

“You’re one of the most genuine people I know. I can always tell what you’re thinking, because you have nothing to hide. You’re incredibly dedicated. You’ve been a great friend to me, especially when I was rude to you and didn’t deserve it. You see the best in everyone and encourage them to showcase their strengths.” I take a fluttering breath. “I never thought that someone like you would even consider someone like me. I’m sorry for calling you annoying and saying that I hated you. You’re not annoying. I don’t think anyone who’s ever met you would hate you.” I lace my fingers together. “I am really, truly sorry for saying untrue, hurtful things to you.”

The poet onstage finishes. The people watching applaud. I’m next, but I’m frozen in place.

Jisung breaks the silence. “Good luck. We can talk later.”

I dare to smile, and walk onstage.

I’ve chosen to share a short story about the time I accidentally kicked my friend in the face when we took a dance class, saving my poems for another time. I’m really telling a story about Jisung. I take a deep breath and begin.

“This is the story of how I almost broke my friend’s nose.” This is the story of how I broke my friend’s heart.

I describe the contemporary dance class we were in and how close our friendship was. “She was one of my closest friends. I don’t know what I would have done without her.” He’s one of my closest friends. I don’t know what I would do without him.

I add details to build an image of that day, inserting humor and appealing to the audience’s senses, while making sure that my plot advances. “I wasn’t paying enough attention to my surroundings. When I kicked my leg up, my foot collided with her face.” I wasn’t being true to myself or him. When I spoke, my words attacked him.

“I felt immediate regret. I had hurt my friend on accident because I was careless.” I immediately felt horrible. I hurt him with my careless words and actions.

“For a few horrifying minutes, she couldn’t talk because of the pain. I thought our friendship was over and that she would never forgive me.” For a few terrifying days, he wouldn’t talk to me because of the pain I caused. I thought our friendship was over. I thought he would never forgive me. I still do.

“Yet in the end, she chose to forgive my mistake. Even though my actions didn’t reflect how deeply I cared about her, she knew me well enough to understand it was an accident. She knew how much she meant to me, and how I never intended to hurt her.” I hope he can find it in his heart to forgive me. I hope he knows me well enough to know that he means the world to me. I hope that all is not lost.

“It’s easy to harm someone on purpose. It’s even easier to do it on accident, because we’re not fully aware of our actions—we zone out—until we can see a concrete impact. Be self-aware. And if you want to do something fun with a friend, make sure it’s in a low-risk setting. Don’t end up like me! I might have taken the phrase “break a leg” literally if I was a little more careless. The point is, people need time to think. Forgiveness is not easy to receive. But when someone chooses to forgive because they want to, especially if that person plays a crucial role in your life, that can mean the world to someone. Thank you.”

Granted, that’s not the best narrative I could produce, but given my time limit of one-and-a-half day, I’m not too disappointed in myself.

Jisung and I pass each other when he heads toward the stage.

“This song is dedicated to someone special,” he says once he’s onstage. “I hope you guys like it!”

And it’s about me. Us. The time we stayed up until 2am studying and found this cafe because it was the only one open then. The time we wrote tons of poems, narratives, and short stories together (most of them were as a meme, barely longer than four sentences) because we bet the other person they weren’t as creative (it ended as a tie—we created the last poem together). The time he asked for help on the lyrics for a song and I ended up showing him a few of my poems willingly.

My eyes are glued to him, right up until he exits the stage and walks up to me. Then they flit towards the stage for a moment while I try to prepare myself for whatever he has to say. The world stops spinning as he opens his mouth.

“I forgive you.”

Blissfully, unexpectedly, the world starts spinning again. “You do?”

“You didn’t mean it, and while it hurt to hear, I know you don’t actually think that way. It’s not like I’m perfect, either. I’ll get annoyed and say things that aren’t true, too.” He reaches for my hand and laces our fingers together. “I know you, y/n. Like you said, you wouldn’t hurt someone on purpose.” He gives a gentle tug on my hand. “You want to get out of here?”

“I’d love to.” I lean up and press a brief kiss against his cheek. “Where to?”

“You know that new burger place we wanted to try out? I was thinking we could go there.” He pauses. “As a first date,” he adds, the slightest hesitance showing.

I grab his other hand and take a half step towards him. “That sounds like the perfect first date.” I blush. He blushes. He pecks my forehead, the tip of my nose, and both of my cheeks. I untangle our hands to reach up and pinch his cheeks, squishing them together. Mindful of the people in the cafe, we leave soon after, sparing them from watching our PDA. We decide on taking my car, since I drove by myself here and Hyunjin dropped him off and yeeted out of here. (Speaking of Hyunjin, he, Ryujin, and Tzuyu have been blowing up the group chat—The 3 Musketeers—asking how things went. I text them that things went well, and silence my phone.)

Before I start the car, he takes my right hand. “Don’t ever think you’re not good enough,” he states firmly. “You are good enough. 100%. Don’t doubt yourself.”

“Aw, thank you. I realize that a little more now. I was really out of it that day. I turned into a mean version of myself, but I’m working on being more aware of what I’m feeling.”

“Don’t worry about it, y/n. You’re only human. What matters the most is that you truly didn’t mean it and you’re sorry. I’m with you right now,” he starts drawing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, “am I not?”

“You’re right. You are with me now.” I lean in to kiss his cheek, reluctantly pulling away after a few moments to start driving. “Now, Mr. Han Jisung… give me the best first date ever.”

I smile. He smiles. We’re blissfully happy.

•••

Eight words.

That night, the squad gathers at our dorm and invites Jisung in after our date to question, gush over, and tease us. I spend most of the time curled up in his arms, snuggling with him as Ryujin asks what his intentions are (“To show this wonderful lady how much I love her.” “You pass.”).

Hyunjin keeps insisting he was right all along (“I knew you would end up dating!” “Whatever cooks your bacon, buddy.” “You were right, ‘jin! You’re like a fortune-teller. Quick, tell me what I’ll get on my English story next week!” “Uh… 420.”).

Tzuyu grabs me by the shoulders and squeals about how much of a power couple we are (“You guys are so cute! You could write each other poems as gifts! Aaaaah, our y/n is growing up so fast!” “...thanks, mom.”).

While we talk, I occasionally press light kisses anywhere I can reach: his cheek, his neck, his hand, his forehead, and his lips. The reactions are either highkey shipping (Ryu and Tzu) or highkey faked disgust (Hyunjin lmao). (We don’t tell them that we made out in the car for a solid twenty minutes before coming inside.)

The topic shifts from our relationship to anything and everything. After passionately debating whether humans are inherently neutral (neither good nor evil) and if raccoons should be considered pests, it’s well past midnight, and Tzu-Hyun-Sung head home.

The next day, Saturday, we have a weekly hangout with the nine boys and us three girls. More teasing ensues (particularly from the Aussie line and Changbin), but the day is like any other until that night.

Jisung and I go on our second official date to our favorite ramen store, the one where we know the owner by name. We take a stroll outside by a river afterwards, admiring the scenery.

“Y/n, I really like you. I get so happy whenever I see you, or even think about you. You make me want to compose a million love songs and dedicate them all to you. So what I’m saying is… I’m asking you if you’ll be my girlfriend?”

“Yes! A million times yes. I would love to. I could write a million poems about you.” I lean up and kiss him, smiling as I do so. “I would love to be your girlfriend, sweetheart.”

“You finally called me a pet name, babe! Why are you so cute?” Another smooch. He presses his forehead against mine. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“You’re cute. And I’m the lucky one.” I suddenly step back and grab onto his shoulders. “The lucky J. One!”

He laughs, shaking his head, and we continue walking. “This is part of what made me fall for you.” He swoops down for another kiss, leaving me a blushing, stuttering mess.

Jisung really has a way with words. Of course, that’s a given, seeing as he’s a songwriter and poet. But combined with his actions and intentions, his strong work ethic and how much he cares about everyone, the transparency of his thoughts and emotions, he really is unique.

He has the power to make me speechless. But I’ll always have eight words to say.

You are amazing and loveable. Never forget that.

•••

Happy birthday, Han Jisung. You have the support of all us Stays.

[jiminspjm]

Blanket Kick + J. Jungkook 01

❋ a series of events between you and jeon jungkook. [based of bangtans song, blanket kick/embarrassed]

❋ a/n: am i the worst moot ever? yes. this is a late birthday present for @yoonsgiggle my amazing moot, i hope you like this hehe. the parts are very short but i will be updating every other day hopefully hehe, im not sure how many parts this will have but definitely no more than 5!!

⇢ [characters] : jeon jungkoon x oc ft. ot6

⇢ [rated] : NC-17 (strong language)

⇢ [glossary]: fluff, smut (future), roomates!au, childhood friends to lovers, humor, and a whole side of sexual tension ;)

⇢ [index]: 2.2k

⇢[preface]: none.

“I was too shy to become your sun so I became a cold moon.”

-

“I think Jungkook is mad at me, but I can’t tell.” You sighed, pushing around the broccoli on your plate. Jimin and Yoongi both looked up at you, watching as your face fell into a deep frown.

“Why would he be mad at you? Isn’t that like, against best friend code?” Jimin teased, trying to lighten the mood. Your lips turned up for a moment before going back into a thin line. Jimin sighed, looking at Yoongi and shrugging.

“He lost is blanket his mom gave him.” Yoongi said, biting into a fry. You heard Jimin’s fork screech against his plate, causing you to whip your head up towards Yoongi.

“He what?” You said, leaning towards the blonde man. Yoongi nodded, rubbing his hands together and nodding.

“Yeah, he can’t find it. So that’s probably why he is being distant.” Yoongi finished. You groaned inwardly. The blanket Yoongi is referring to is Jungkook’s baby blanket, that his mom gave him. His mother passed away a few hours after he was born, due to some health complications. Him and his father lived in your neighborhood when you were children, and your parents and you had just moved into the neighborhood. You can remember the day your mom told you to bring some brownies to your new neighbors, and a boy, a bit taller than you opened the door. Wide brown eyes, and a head of fluffy hair was the first thing you saw. The shy smile morphed into a distinct toothy, bunny smile once you showed the desert. After that day, you and Jungkook never left each other's side.

You went to the same elementary, and secondary school. Jungkook was a year older than you, but because of your proficiency you got to skip a grade. Even in high school as you two navigated life together, through all the pains that were breakups, school work, periods, and friends. You will never forget the day that you cried for about two hours, because you wished your boobs were bigger. Jungkook’s response was, “At least you have a nice ass.” Which made you cry even more.

You both got into the same university, and bought an apartment together. Three years later, you 21 and him 22, nothing has changed. Well, except you’re hopeless pining for your best friend that was definitely way out of your league. But that’s besides the point. You have never left his side, and weren’t planning too. This situation though, was worrisome.

“Hey, isn’t it both of your birthdays this week?” Jimin asked. You nodded, a small smile on your face. You and Jungkook were born on the same day, different years. Which he always teases you about, feeling relieved about the whole formality thing. He just didn’t want to have to call you noona. Not like you would have made the nerd anyway.

“Yeah, and that’s why I need to find his blanket,” You said, sliding out from the booth. Shuffling through your backpack you found your wallet and threw some money on the table. “That should cover mine, and please bring Jungkook something?” You asked, zipping your backpack.

“Yeah sure, but where the hell do you think you are going? It’s gonna rain soon!” Yoongi shouted at you.

You were already out the door.

-

“I’m not a pencil but I keep getting dark thoughts toward you.”

Maybe you should have listened to Jimin when he said it was going to rain, and maybe you should have driven your own car to the cafe, but we all make mistakes right. Mistakes such as you running across campus to the baseball field while it was pouring rain. Was catching a cold worth it for Jungkook? Absolutely. Was digging through bright red dirt to find his blanket worth it? Yes. And was finding that blanket buried in the sand worth it just to possibly see the look on his face worth it? Always. I bet you are wondering how the hell his blanket ended up on the baseball diamond across campus.

Well, usually you attend his games and use said blanket when it’s cold. You, being an idiot, left the blanket on the bleachers to run onto the dirt to congratulate him on a win. How said blanket ended up in dirt, no clue. Probably the devil punishing you for leaving Jungkook’s prized possession behind.

All in all, you jogged half a mile in the rain back to you and Jungkook’s apartment. You were hoping he had class so you could quickly wash and dry the blanket, and leave it on his bed and act like nothing happened. But that wasn’t the case when you open the door, and see Jungkook sitting on the counter in the kitchen, spooning peanut butter from the jar. Your eyes widen at the same time his does, as he drops the spoon on the floor with a clatter. Luckily you were smart enough to chuck your backpack at your friends Mimi’s dorm before you went on your blanket hunt. So the only thing ruined was your dignity was the fact you were dripping wet, and had red sand all over you.

Before you could speak, Jungkook hopped off the counter, his black, curly, fluffy hair bounced as he rushed over to you. His silver earrings swung slightly as he looked you up and down, eyes zoned in on the material clutched in your hand. Looking down as well, a shy smile came across your face.

“I’m really-!” Your apologies were cut short when Jungkook wrapped his arm around your waist, the other gripping onto your wet hair as he pulled your smaller frame into his embrace. Immediately your senses were overwhelmed by laundry detergent and the faint smell of peanut butter. Confused, you wrapped your arms around him slowly.

“I was so worried, Jimin and Yoongi said they head no clue where you were.” Jungkook muttered into your hair. You relaxed into him, leaning into his hold.

“I’m sorry, my phone was in my backpack and I didn’t have it with me.” You spoke softly, fingering at the material of his hoodie. Jungkook, didn’t say anything as he held you for a few more moments. The only sound present is the gentle rainfall heard outside.

Jungkook, began to pull away and he examined you for any damage. Not meeting his gaze, you extended the soiled blanket to him.

“I’m sorry for forgetting it. It’s my fault, I’m really sorry Guk. That was super irresponsible of me,” You muttered, guilty tears brimming in your eyes. You felt his fingers brush against yours as he took the blanket from you. Stepping forward, he gripped his fingers beneath your chin to look at him. His face was slightly distorted through the tears, as he gently brushed away the tear that went down your jaw. He smiled gently and leaned down and pressing a kiss against the corner of your mouth.

Cheeks heating up furiously, even though you were crying, was only something Jungkook is capable of. You blinked a few times, looking up at him a grin is plastered on his stupid face.

“Thank you for finding it, sweetheart.” Jungkook said, smiling gently. Sniffling a few times, from the cold, and the tears you smiled at him. Sighing, you sniffled and became very aware of the fact you were still wet and dirty. Literally.

“As much as I would love to cry some more, I’m dirty and cold, and I’m gonna get the floors dirty.” You joked, trying to make yourself feel better. Jungkook snorted, and walked towards you before dipping down and picking you up by the back of your thighs.

A sound of protest came from your mouth, as he wrapped your legs around his lean waist. Heat burst through your whole body as you tried to balance yourself.

“Jungkook, what the fuck are you doing?” You cried, placing your arms on his shoulders. Jungkook ignored your cries and rested his warm palms on the skin of your hips beneath your crewneck.

“Your all wet, and you already dripped all over the foyer, I don’t want the wood floors dirty.” He hummed, smoothing his thumbs across your skin, causing heat to bloom on your goosebumped skin. Nodding, you allowed him to carry you into your shared bathroom.

Flicking the light on, Jungkook hummed to himself quietly. Setting you on the counter, he turned to the cabinets behind him and grabbed a towel and placed if on the hook behind the door.

“Okay, shower you nerd.” Jungkook teased, flicking your nose and walking out of the bathroom and shutting the door with a gentle click.

Releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding, you got off the counter and turned to face the mirror. Red dirt was smudged along your cheeks and clothes, staining the fabric of your shoes as well. Huffing, you walked towards the shower and turned the crystal knob. A spurt of water echoed in the chamber, as you closed the glass door.

Pulling off your shoes, pants and hoodie, you balled them all together, and shoved them in the trash. Goosebumps surfaced along your exposed skin, as you peeled off your wet underwear and bra. Tossing those in the hamper behind the door, you stepped into the shower.

Scrubbing your skin with body wash, and thoroughly cleaning out the dirt from your hair you allowed the steam and hot water to warm your body. Eventually your skin began to prune, forcing you to get out. Opening the door, you stepped out and grabbed your towel. Wiping your body down, and slapping on some body lotion, you began to search for your clothes but came up empty handed.

“Fuck,” you muttered. The only option was to go out there into you and Jungkook’s room and get some clothes. Sucking in a breath, you grasped the handle to the door and opened it. Not expecting Jungkook to be on the other side, shirtless with some of your clothes neatly folded in his hands.

Was it hot in here? Or is it just Jungkook.

Shaking your head, your grip on the doorknob became extremely tight. You tried to not let your eyes wander along his toned abdomen. The golden skin rippled with tight muscles, ink trailing across the skin to create intricate designs. The black band of his armani boxers were peeking from the top of his sweats, which lead up to deep muscles around his hips, creating a distinct ‘V’ shape. You were pretty sure your face was a nice shade of pink, and it wasn’t from the steam of the shower.

“See something you like, sweetheart?” Jungkook’s low voice spoke. The statement made you snap your head up to meet his stare. He had a cocky grin spread across his face. What a little shit.

“You wish you dweeb. Give me my clothes.” You said, keeping your voice stable and holding out a hand. Jungkook smirked and shook his head, strands of his fluffy hair fell above his brow.

“Mmm, but you called me a dweeb, and that wasn’t very nice.” Jungkook teased, stepping into the bathroom. You took a step back, glaring at him.

“I can call you worse,” you bit back. Jungkook’s stupid, cocky grin was still plastered over his stupid, attractive face. You didn’t realise he lead you to the tub until the cold tile hit the back of your calves.

Catching yourself, you tightened your hold on your towel as you scowled at him. Jungkook set your clothes on the lid to the toilet, and took a step towards you. You audibly shuddered when his hands trialed across your bare arm, the touch leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. Jungkook hummed, fingers trailing down your arm till he reached your hand.

Before you could ask him what the hell he was doing, he yanked your hand to his bare chest, causing your body to press tightly against his. His arm wound around your waist, pulling your hips to his.

You audibly let out a sound as his larger palm engulfed your own. His skin was warm and hard beneath your fingers. You could feel practically every ridge and dip of his muscles even with a towel on. His fingers gripped roughly into your hips, as his lips skimmed across your bare shoulder- his warm breath ghosting over the skin.

You bit your lip hard, trying to hold back the groan that was threatening to escape your lips. Jungkook chuckled beneath his breath. Bastard.

“Don’t call me names, sweetheart. Where are your manners?” Jungkook whispered into your ear. You whined lowly, curling your fingers against his skin. The one hand that was holding up your towel was now on his chest as well. You felt the cloth begin to slip, the only thing holding it up was your sanity, which was practically thinning, and also the fact that your breasts were pushed against Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook hummed lowly before letting go of your body, and walking towards the door. Blinking a few times, you now became cold at the loss of body heat.

Jungkook was already outside the bathroom, hand on the knob. He winked at you, and then proceeded to close the door. Right as the click resonated through the bathroom, the thump of your towel hit the tile.

[ruensroad]

sweet surrender

Valentine’s coming up so here’s some spicy JinYi for flavor.

---

He’d known, theoretically, that his marriage would cause dissonance within his Council. Everything was an uphill battle with them, had always been, given the state of his family’s reputation and his own methods of leadership, as well as love, which differed from what they wanted. His jiu-jiu had taught him to be fearless in all things he knew were right, so he was, and for a while it’d been simple to just damn the consequences and take whatever punishment they laid over his shoulders. They could only do so much, in the end, and their constant irritation meant little when it came to his people, his family, his sect, or his husband.

They’d tried making laws, making treaties. They’d tried finding loopholes in his inheritance to kick him out. When these failed, they created problems, tightened their hold on the treasury, forced him to work extra hard to make ends meet while keeping his sect and his people above water. Test after test, victory after victory. They were persistent, but he had his jiu-jiu’s stubbornness, and he would not bend to them. Not easily. And they knew it.

But this? Passive aggressive meetings upon meetings to talk of petty things, hours and hours… this was by far the worst.

Jin Ling knew his patience was lacking already, no matter the meditation techniques Jingyi had taught him to give him better control over his temper. But to have his precious time with his new husband cut short, and for what? So his Elders could make some kind of point? Forcing him from dinner and into the long hours of dusk, when Jingyi surely had gone to bed without him?

He understood, now, why his jiu-jiu had always been so tired with his own council. He just wished he knew the trick to shutting them up for good.

Murder, maybe?

He sighed and slumped against his bedroom door, dismissing that, though only after a brief moment to just imagine the quiet that would follow. It would never be worth it, but some peace would be nice for a change. Perhaps he could find a loophole into their positions and kick them all out. Get a council of senior disciples, how nice would that be?

It wouldn’t happen, but it was a nicer thought than simply enduring, which was the only path left to him.

Gods, just one day, he wished he wasn’t in charge. Life was much simpler for those that followed, not led. And he missed it wholly.

A soft sweep of robes over the floor pulled him out of that fog of exhaustion and frustration, even before he heard the soft utterance of his name. It was always a wonder seeing Jingyi in a golden-rimmed robe, without his ribbon and his hair loose. From the first night they’d ever shared to now, it hadn’t lost it’s awe. He hoped it never would.

“Did I wake you?” he asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly before reaching out to catch Jingyi’s hand, their fingers tangling in a familiar curve. The soft contact was enough to draw the other in, like a whisper of wind, and he was slowly kissed.

“I was meditating,” Jingyi said, which explained how awake he seemed. If Jin Ling had truly woken him, he’d be far less put together, even as unbound as he was. “Waiting.”

Jin Ling immediately sighed away another bite of frustration. “I’m sorry. The Council -”

“-are a bunch of petty old men who need to remember what is really important about running a sect,” Jingyi finished for him, no nonsense, and reached up with his free hand to cup his face. “They’re running you ragged.”

“They want me to trip me up, that’s all,” Jin Ling huffed and turned his face in to bite a soft nip to Jingyi’s wrist. “I am Sect Leader, not them. I will do what I need to for my people and Sect, and for you.”

“Just as I will do what I need to do for you,” Jingyi said, though had not melted into him the way he usually did when his wrist was seized. There was a stubborn light in his dark eyes tonight, something determined and almost angry, but the hands that slid into his hair to release the crown and hairpin were nothing but gentle, with the promise of… something making him shiver.

“What are you scheming,” he said, more an observation than a proper question. He’d known such a look years before Jingyi had ever been fully his and it still brought a part of him to life with the anticipation of mischief.

But it seemed mischief was not what Jingyi was after as he traced the silver ribbon over Jin Ling’s forehead and carefully untied it, thoughtful almost while he regarded the silken strip.

“Do you trust me, husband?” was what he asked, startling him, because surely, he knew?

The look on his face made Jin Ling pause, however; made him sense the true seriousness of that question and the shivering promise behind it. His body came to life for a whole new reason when it became aware of his husband’s full attention.

“Yes,” he breathed, still uncertain what Jingyi was thinking, but trusting him completely. If nothing else, he knew he was safe here. Knew that Jingyi would not think of something that would hurt him, and if it edged too far he would stop the moment Jin Ling asked. That had not changed from their first night and he doubted it ever would.

He took Jingyi’s hand with a smile and kissed it, feeling the silk of the ribbon against his lips. “I’m yours, Jingyi, and you are mine. I trust you.”

Jingyi smiled at that, mouth infused with that same determination in his eyes. His fingers caught Jin Ling’s and squeezed, once, then he leaned in as though for a kiss.

“So busy giving orders and taking orders…” he mused just when their mouths brushed and Jin Ling shivered to feel the hint of teeth against his lower lip. “Always in control. But not tonight.”

He was not ready for the flush that overtook his body, hearing that, nor for the way his mouth went dry as Jingyi slowly wrapped his Lan ribbon around his wrists, and a steady knot at that. Jin Ling realized with a kick of heat that he could not, in fact, break the hold without ruining his marriage ribbon, which they both knew he would never do willingly. He’d have to trust in Jingyi to release him and that loss of control, even just this tiny bit, made him shudder.

“I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow, am I?” he asked, steeling himself as he leaned back against the door, and prayed his knees were strong enough to hold out.

He got a lazy, curling grin in answer, full of trouble, and glittering, amused eyes meeting his. Then Jingyi was ducking under the closed circle of his arms, all calm ease and confidence and he promptly forgot how to breathe. “I daresay you’ll be strutting as you always do, Sect Leader Jin.”

“Somehow I’m not reassured, Master Lan,” Jin Ling managed to tease and even managed the last word that round, a miracle, given Jingyi simply silenced him with another kiss. Hands settled on his waist and wrapped around his sash, reaching around to untie the silk and let it drop. It pooled to the ground at their feet in a golden cascade and Jin Ling bit his lip as his robe was neatly untied and allowed to drape open, layer by layer, until Jingyi’s hands traced over his skin.

“Kick off your shoes, Sect Leader,” Jingyi said and his fingers trailed away to his own sash, which joined Jin Ling’s in a blue heap.

Jin Ling did as he was told, fingers flexing in the air as he shuffled off his boots. The moment they were kicked to the side, Jingyi’s hands were on him again, like a reward, and he shivered all over when his silent demand for a kiss was ignored.

“Not yet, Sect Leader,” Jingyi chuckled and shrugged off his robe, until he was standing in nothing but his silken trousers. Ivory skin glowed in the faint moonlight, such a contrast to the sunkissed warmth of his own, and he ached to touch, to take back control and kiss his way down every faint scar and freckle he’d long since memorized. But that was part of the game, wasn’t it? Surrender. Trust. Like hell he was ruining this when it’d only just begun, especially with his husband looking at him like that.

Jin Ling forced himself to lean back against the door again, breathing sharply through his nose, and soaked in the feeling of warm hands running down their well loved paths over his skin. “You realize I can’t get my own robes off in this state?” he said, hoping that wouldn’t put a hitch in things, but Jingyi only smiled lazily again, kicking that heat in his gut up to a whole other kind of burn.

“They can be washed,” was all Jingyi said to that, all he had to say, and Jin Ling was putty in his hands even before they cradled his face and drew him into a breathtaking kiss. A sweep of tongue, a hint of teeth; Jin Ling downright growled when Jingyi kept it torturously short.

“Jingyi.”

“Patience, Sect Leader Jin,” Jingyi laughed, the devil, and pushed him bodily against the door in a show of strength that had his stomach swooping, especially with those clever fingers dancing beats over his hips. “You are not the one giving the orders tonight, remember?”

“Fuck,” Jin Ling felt his face heat just as Jingyi’s hands gripped under his thighs and lifted. He just about yelped at the sudden ease of it, but found himself groaning instead to feel his feet leave the ground.

Damn, that Lan arm strength.

“See? Not so bad,” Jingyi chuckled and kissed a spot on his chest, slow and open mouthed, like holding Jin Ling’s full weight was something he was made for, and he had all the time in the world to do so. When Jin Ling only managed a choked noise in response, he pushed them back from the door and turned them neatly to set Jin Ling down on the vanity. The mirror shook when Jin Ling’s back hit it, the bowl of rosewater sloshing as it was disturbed. Jingyi laughed at the face he made and stole a kiss before he could complain.

“You’re cleaning that later,” he still grumbled, determined to have the final word again, and Jingyi snorted, like that was a funny tease, then settled into gentle kisses on his cheek and the side of his nose, his brow, his jaw and back to his lips. His warm fingers slipped under his robes again, this time splaying over his lower back, then tracing upwards, curling firmly into the skin of his shoulders.

“Some spilled water will be the least of what will be cleaned,” Jingyi mused, considering the fine, expensive silk Jin Ling was still wearing. He felt his face immediately flame over at the implication.

“Shameless.”

“For you? Always,” Jingyi said, easy as that, and lifted him off the vanity with a powerful tug, forcing him to cling as best he could to him with bound wrists. For a small eternity, they simply stood like that: Jingyi looking up at him, Jin Ling shivering in his hold, red faced and wanting.

“You’re enjoying this too much,” he accused when the staring became too much, became an ache that only movement could cure and he was too scared of breaking Jingyi’s grip to do so, as much as he needed it. He settled for pouting and kissing Jingyi slow, not even a demand anymore, but a plea.

“I like carrying you,” Jingyi agreed, a tad breathless when they finally pulled apart, and carefully edged them around to the bed. He ducked his head down to encourage Jin Ling to lift his arms off of him, then used that infamous arm strength to lay him down fully with only a bit of bouncing. Standing there, backlit by the moon and his eyes so dark with want, he was a vision of confidence, of desire, and Jin Ling felt like a hare in a trap, but a willing one, and forced himself to lay back, bound hands over his head, utterly exposed.

“Don’t know how you do that,” he licked his lips, hips shifting in uncertainty as Jingyi simply continued to watch him squirm. “Or why you’d like it. Can’t be that easy.”

“It’s very easy,” Jingyi assured him in a tone that told Jin Ling he meant more than just a literal sense, and when he finally leaned down to steal a kiss, it was with softness, and utter love in his eyes, as well as a smile. “You’re not that heavy. Not to me.”

“Shameless,” Jin Ling muttered, heart so full it felt close to bursting, even as his body thrummed with fire as their skin brushed and Jingyi’s weight settled firmly between his legs, his sure hands guiding them over his hips, making him blush.

“I’m not ashamed of how I feel,” Jingyi just shrugged, like his every breath and movement wasn’t making Jin Ling go crazy with want, like he was reading the most engrossing love story ever written and the words were painted in Jin Ling’s skin. “You are mine, Sect Leader Jin, and I will always carry you when you need me to.”

He swallowed hard and nodded, tilting his face up for another kiss given gladly. “I am yours,” he breathed out. “All of me.”

Jingyi smiled and leaned over him, a hand reaching up to tangle in his bound ones, while the other trailed a whimsical path down his navel, making his breath hitch.

“All mine,” he agreed and his fingers dipped lower still. As Jin Ling arched into him, he laughed, low in his ear, nipping a spot on his neck he knew would be there tomorrow, for all to see. “All night.”

[fratboyvivimatthews]

Could you write 52 with jack hughes?🥰

52.“I would never do this to you if I didn’t have to. You know that right?”

to say you weren’t expecting this was a lie, you’d been waiting for this dreaded moment since jack started getting serious about hockey. the moment he’d break up for you for his dream, so you could live your own out. but neither of you were quite ready for it to happen just yet. 

so you sat there in the silence of the Michigan night, staring up at the stars from the back of his jeep. a blanket was wrapped around the two of you for more warmth, your head resting on his shoulder, and to him it felt like the whole world was sitting on it. one because you were his world, and two because he was about to break both of your hearts, and you both knew it was going to happen. 

it was a none spoken agreement since the first time you laid eyes on each other, that this was going to end in heartbreak, but you didn’t know when that heartbreak would happen. and for awhile it seemed like it wouldn’t happen at all, that everything was okay, you made it through the draft and the summer, but now you were leaving for college, jack the nhl. the heartbreak was creeping up on the two of you, ready to ruin what you thought was going to turn out okay. 

then he said it, “i would never do this to you if i didn't have to.” the first thing either of you had said since you settled into the back of the jeep. “you know that right?” he asked eyes looking down to you watching as the love you held in them never wavered, even as he was about to break your heart, you still loved him with everything in you.

“i know j,” you reassured with a sad smile. “I've known the whole time we were dating it would come down to this moment,” you whispered tears filling your eyes. jack’s thumb brushed away the ones that fell as he tried to smile at you. “for awhile it seemed like it wouldn’t, like we were going to be those couples you see in movies.” 

“yeah, i get what you mean y/n/n. coming into tonight i had this whole speech planned out to give you,” he explained eyes looking back up to the stars the blanketed the sky. “about how you should be coming with me, and that it wouldn’t matter if we were apart because it’s us, that you should wait for me, and i’d wait for you.” your heart dropped, it all sounded so good. it sound to perfect. “but i’d never ask you to wait for me y/n,” he whispered hand coming to cup your cheek. “i could never ask you to give up your dream for mine. and i’m sorry that it can’t be me there to support you the way you need.” 

you closed your eyes tight, not wanting the tears to fall, but they still slipped out. “i’m sorry too jack. sorry that i can’t be at your first game to tell you that you were amazing, and shower you in my love. sorry that i can’t be the support system you need going into your first year of the nhl. but most of all i’m sorry that i’ll never stop loving you, because not a day will go by that i don’t love you. even when you’re married, and have a family i’ll still love you with everything in me.” 

“because it’s you and me against the world,” he finished for you as you started to choke up over the words. “always has been and always will be love.” slowly you looked back up to those blue eyes you loved so much and watched the tears fall down his cheeks. “god i wish we didn’t have to do this, but it’s not going to work out, and this fucking kills me.” 

it was your turn to wipe away his tears, “it kills me too j, but this is the only way. we’re not meant for long distance, it would just hurt even more, but you can bet i’ll still be your number fan.” a broken smile covered your faced as you tried your hardest to make him feel better, and not the hurt he was feeling - the hurt you were feeling. “no matter what, i’ll stand behind you.” 

silent sobs racked his body as his head dropped down to your chest. “i don’t want to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he cried muffled by the fabric of his sweatshirt you were wearing. “the thing i love the most in this world, the thing i’ll always love most in this world; you. i don’t want to lose you y/n, i don’t want to let you go, i don’t want this night to end, because that means you leave tomorrow. that means you walk out of my life, and take my heart with you, and i wish i didn’t have to do this to you because it fucking kills me. it kills me to do this.” 

“then how about this, we don’t worry about in until tomorrow?” you asked hands going down to grab his sweatshirt and pull it over his head. “that sound good?” 

“but then we just have to deal with it in the morning,” he pointed out his tears finally coming to a stop. 

“then we deal with it before we leave, but i’m not ready to give you up yet jack.” 

“i’m not ready to give you up either y/n. i’m never going to be ready,” he confessed hands going to pulling the sweatshirt from your body. 

“then let’s deal with it in the morning.” 

want one? ask from this list!

[scbincx]

𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭  𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐚.

[ ESTER EXPOSITO, 22, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ] welcome to the du pont institute for the young & gifted, [ SABINA MARQUEZ ]. you have been accepted as a [ REGULAR ] student from [ SPAIN ], going into your [ SENIOR YEAR ] and majoring in [ INT'L BUSINESS MANAGEMENT ]. your peers at the institute say that you are [ ASTUTE & SELF-ASSURED ], but being [ VEXING & CONNIVING ] may be the reason why the police are asking about you. did you think they wouldn’t find out that you were michael’s [ GIRLFRIEND ]? [ ADMIN J, 23, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER, EST ]

hi friends! jocey here with my first bby, sabina. i’m just gonna get this out of the way right now - apologizing in advance for all that is sabina because she’s truly just the worst™. lol anyways, gimme a like or hmu on discord if you’d like to plot with my little demon child!

name : sabina isabella maria marquez nickname : friends call her sab age : twenty-two sexuality : bisexual hometown : madrid, spain major : int’l business management, minor in entrepreneurship extracurriculars : student council president, business leaders of tmrw, du pont editor, honour society, model UN (spain)

━  the marquez family is known to have a bit of a controversial reputation, mostly surrounding how they made their fortune. what started out as a small delivery company in the canary islands decades ago has now expanded to a global empire of sorts. officially, marquez enterprises is a shipping company that controls the major ports in spain, and owns several businesses throughout europe and latin america.

━  but off the books? well, let’s just say there may be rumours that they’re involved in some shady business and have quite a few shady interesting contacts from all around the world, from politicians to some less than savoury people. regardless, it’s common knowledge that the marquezes are filthy dirty rich, enjoy living extravagantly and lavishly, and are practically seen as spanish royalty in the social scene.

━  as the eldest born to the head of the marquez empire, sabina was always groomed to take over marquez enterprises one day. she has a younger brother, though he shows no interest (or any capabilities, for that matter) in even being a part of it. then there are all of her cousins who want the seat - her seat - at the head of the table for themselves, like her cousin cristiano. well, over her dead body. and even from the grave, she would never let that happen because this was her birthright. while most kids dreamt of flying to the moon or being a princess, sabina always knew she was going to rule the world marquez empire one day.

━  sabina is her parents’ daughter in every way possible. they taught her everything legal and illegal that she needed to know in order to be successful in life. but some things even they couldn’t quite explain themselves. like when three-year-old sabina stole all the crayons in daycare to force other kids to buy them back with their snacks. from a young age, she quickly learned that tricking people into giving her what she wanted out of their own dumb free will was so much more satisfying than stealing it from under their noses. she may be named after a saint, but anyone will tell you she is anything but.

━  a hustler with an alpha bitch mentality, she’s always outsmarting people and outsmarting the system to get things to work in her favour. and when that didn’t work, no one could ever say no to a big fat wad of cash. because sabina marquez never loses. she doesn’t just play the game, she owns it, makes the rules and wins. every. damn. time. sabina strongly believes that playing by the rules was for suckers and if you weren’t the best, then you were nothing at all. and sometimes being the best required playing dirty. if she has to ruin someone else’s life to get her way, then she will gladly pour a jug of gasoline, light a match and enjoy watching it go up in flames. hell, sometimes she’ll do that just for the fun of it anyways. and if that’s what she does for her own enjoyment, then you do not wanna know what she does when she’s pissed off.

━  with that mentality, it’s no surprise that sabina easily became the top student of her program and student council president. though she may have lied and cheated her way to the top on several occasions, there’s no denying that she’s fucking brilliant. yes, she could have done it the right way, but where’s the fun in that? if anything, pulling off all the lying, cheating and scheming proved just how smart she really was. and maybe that’s why michael fell for her. 

━  sabina always thought she was too good for michael. in fact, too good for almost anyone at this school. the whole golden boy, mr. popular act was boring and cliche, and she saw right through it. and yet somehow, almost as if it’d happened overnight, michael had won her over and they were quickly known as du pont’s ‘it’ couple. everyone envied them and wanted to be them. they couldn’t be a more perfect couple and she was the perfect girlfriend - sweet, adoring, supportive. in fact, so perfect that no one ever knew that deep down, sabina had never hated anyone more in her life than michael fucking valmont. and she couldn’t be happier now that he’s dead.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

BEST FRIEND  ━  someone who can put up with sabina’s awfulness, or maybe they’re just as awful as she is. this is probably one of the few people she’s actually relatively nice to (at least, by her standards) and will always have their back. possibly even one of the few people she’ll ever let her guard down for. preferably m/nb tbh bcuz she tends to be a bigger bitch to girls cuz they’re obvs more threatening than dumb boys are lol.  taken by simon bexley, cade harrington, sofia gonzalez-cortes MORAL CONSCIENCE  ━  does sabina even have a moral compass? your guess is as good as mine. this is someone she is more likely to listen to and could try to sway her from doing, y’know, ~*just sabine things*~. kind of the angel on her shoulder? often tries to get her to be nicer and overall be a decent human being.  taken by grant winter-grandview EXES  ━  either she dumped him/her, or she was dumped (in which case, rip my friend). maybe there are lingering feelings. who knows?? could be interesting if they’re very different from sabina and that’s why it didn’t work out despite the chemistry or whatever. RIVALS/ENEMIES  ━  ho’boy. homegirl can piss off a lot of people just for shits and giggles, nor does she care to be likeable and personable, so i’m sure she’s got a hella long list of enemies/people she rubs the wrong way. also people she’s sabotaged and manipulated to get her way? plz.  taken by adelaide montserrat, alice coltell, saylor winter-grandview, daisy kennedy CHILDHOOD FRIEND  ━  self-explan. they’ve known each other since they were kids and their parents are likely friends.  taken by madelyn vasquez UNWANTED CHILD  ━  sabina somehow ended up being this person’s very reluctant mom friend. she hates it, she does not want to deal with them, and yet she’ll still go pick up their drunk ass at 4am. she’s all about tough love, so while she may be super harsh and hard on them, she does it out of love and because she cares. not that she’d ever admit caring.  taken by nicollo fernez, james thompson UNLIKELY/ACCIDENTAL FRIENDS  ━  they shouldn’t get along, but somehow, they just do and their friendship works. not typically someone sabina would see herself being friends with, but somehow an accidental friendship of sorts developed.  taken by aurora van der berg, crimson cooper SECRET FLING  ━  the person sabina cheated on michael with. it’s definitely more than a one-time hook-up, but not quite a relationship yet either. she cares about them a lot more than she’d ever care to admit out loud, but it shows through her actions.  taken by william acher CAT & MOUSE  ━  the more sabina can’t have something, the more she’s driven to go after it, even if it’s just to prove a point. and that point is that she’s always right and she always wins. so she’ll flirt, sweet talk and pull out all the stops just to get them to admit that they’re wrong about her. could also work the other way - the more they want her to cave, the more she’ll push and fight it.  taken by gabriel johnson

okay, that’s all i can think of off the top of my head. some plots i’m open for multiple characters to fill, unless it has been crossed out. and ofc, i’m always open to new ideas too!