#mind you that group forces you to give up your name and former identity

[fox0war]

"As her faith deepened, so too did her thirst for Them, spiraling beyond control." Black Forest Cookie is such a fucking simp for whatever witch They are and I honestly adore her if the witch doesn't take her I will /silly

[lilacgaby]

˗ˏˋmy last, my everything ୭ৎ ིྀ

pairing: exmafia!katsuki x reader

❥ read this first!

summary: katsuki had vowed to you to stop this, to make sure you two could live safely from now on. but when you get thrown into the fight again, is he able to save you?

tags: fem!reader, wife!reader, mafia mentions, violence, angst to comfort, cursing, blood, pet names, no quirk au!, threats, guns, mention of death, character death

(a/n: i went with the more interesting ending.. take that how you will)

wc: 4k

he wouldn't fail. it wasn't even an option. the sight of you bloodied on the floor ran through his mind, fueling the fire of his soul as he drove back

he had been forced back to HQ first, that idiot only working at irregular hours of the night.

it was three a.m. way past his bedtime, you'd know as he forced you to sleep alongside him at eight. sometimes the sun was even out when he'd go in for the ‘night.’

he breathed a sigh of half relief and half annoyance as he saw the annoyingly flashy red car in the parking lot of the ‘casino’. he walked in to be greeted by the group of them sitting at a poker table, deku at the head.

katsuki took a seat by the rear, eyes closed but ears open. they had started talking already, but minutes were millions with that idiot. so deku had to ask his questions quickly.

“we just wanted to ask if you'd sold any information on any of our former blood.” midoriya started, eyeing as hawks grew a smirk on his face, his expression one of mock thoughtfulness.

“well, i did. but on who and what will cost you extra, but you know that already.”

“we'll pay, just say it.”

hawks shrugged, examining his fingers as he suddenly spoke quickly and quietly. “let's just say a cloaked man bought the information out of me. wanted bakugo katsuki's addresses and affiliates, former jobs and things he'd been involved with. he offered a lot of money, so my hands were tied. you get it.” a smile broke out onto his face, “but a little birdie told me he trained under eraserhead, i'll give you that for free since i caused you some problems.”

“we already figured that out asshole.” katsuki grumbled. “thanks for your help hawks. ah.. he's just upset, and to be frank i am too.” midoriya said, his voice gaining unusual stoicism in the latter half of the sentence. “you caused issues for me, you know that right? and you can't even give me his identity… it's just an utter disgrace.”

hawks put his hands up in mock surrender, “hey, hey. i didn't say i didn't know who he was. but, fact is that it'd cause you a lot of money to buy his identity in full, you know i'd have to break my code for that.”

“you didn't mind when you sold out bakugo though, did you?” todoroki muttered, flipping a coin in his hand.

“heh, yeah.. i guess i do owe it to you all then. well it's settled,” hawks clapped his hands, “i'll just give you the gang they work under for free.” he slid an envelope over to midoriya. “thanks for the business, sorry for the trouble bakugo.” he rushed out as quickly as he came, the sound of the car speeding out the runway the only thing heard while midoriya tore through the envelope.

written in red ink, with a small smiley face on the very corner, was the name of the gang. “shiketsu?”

midoriya yelled shocked.

they had recently just called a ceasefire to the years of carnage spread between the gangs, the handshake all might did with shindo signified it.

“why would they attack bakugo? it just doesn't make sense.” iida pondered, “though, i guess he did rough a lot of them up back in the wars we had.”

“but there's no reason for them to hold it against them, we had an agreement. we all drank together and everything!” kirishima exclaimed, his hands gesturing around.

“we'll have to go over there ourselves.. likely someone has held something against kacchan for a while.” midoriya ordered. “get your things ready, i don't want any weapons noticeable. concealed and carried, burners too.”

“got it.” they all agreed in unison and got prepared. katsuki was hit with a wave of nostalgia at the notion, putting his favorite gun in his hilt. he always carried, even now, but it was different. this was different.

as he loaded into the car, fist bumping kirishima, he felt almost nervous. he hadn't done anything like this in a while, let alone go to a gang that clearly had something against him. against you.

the ride was quick, kirishima and kaminari blabbing on about how cool it was for him to be back, patting him on the back and smiling. assuring him that they'll find the guy who did this and punt him to the ground.

katsuki could only hope they were right.

they arrived outside the club, walking in immediately to the back. at the sight of deku they opened the doors, nodding at him slightly while letting the group in.

“kacchan, you come with me. everyone else,” he moved to face them, “stay here. on guard, and play nice.” katsuki followed behind him, moving to shindo’s head court. they had to go down an elevator, it was odd really. the last time he was here it was to beat the fuck out of him, and now it was to ask why the hell he picked a fight. with his wife.

it was now six in the damn morning, katsuki was as pissed as ever, midoriya telling him to cool down or he'd leave him behind.

he was a hypocrite though, as he walked in uninvited, a displeased air surrounding him. shindo, who usually invited him over randomly, always accommodating his presence as they were good friends, noticed this odd aura. “midoriya, what brings you here? seems you're not happy with me.”

midoriya took a breath and sighed. “i don't think you would betray me shindo, but facts are facts. one of my men– sorry former men,” he gestured over to katsuki, “had a loved one attacked.”

“that's horrible.” shindo commented, “you don't think i did that though.”

“not you specifically, but.. hawks himself said the one who did was associated with shiketsu.”

“hawks??” shindo almost jumped out of his seat. “well it wasn't me.. definitely not. couldn't have been any of my closest blood either, the only ones who it could've been..” he snapped his fingers like a realization dawned upon him.

“must've been this newbie seiji and his quadrant. he's a new guy, a sniper, he had a crazy good background. he worked fo–”

“eraserhead. right?” katsuki finally had spoken, stepping forward. “right. well, i caused you two a bit of problems huh? lll help you locate him. that's all though.” shindo stood up, handing them a tracking device.

“a tracker?” midoriya questioned, eyebrow raised. “all fresh blood are unknowingly tracked. it's just protocol here, you get it.” shindo shrugged sheepishly.

“right.. remind me to not get on your bad side.” deku joked, laughing about some nonsense joke. katsuki guessed he'd temporarily forgot about the situation, so he snatched the tracker out his hand. “hey!”

“this is…,” his heart dropped, hands sweaty and shaking slightly as he started to recognize. the street names, the buildings, his building.

“why is this fucker close to my house?!”

all of their eyes collectively shot up. you were home, did it already get out that you were alive?

heart pounding, katsuki went rogue. he blasted out of the room, ignoring midoriya’s calls behind him. shoving past his blood and the people in the club, only one thing on his mind: you.

kirishima chased after him as he'd ran into the parking lot of the club, hot wiring a sports car and speeding off.

he threw the burner over to kirishima. “call her, now.” kirishima barely caught the phone, the car drifting and slamming him to its sides so often he felt queasy. “chill out bro!” he dialed the number, but you weren't picking up. he had it on speaker, so the voicemail tone was heard.

“again.” katsuki ordered, his hands gripping the wheel. “call her again.”

“fuck– she's not answering man. we're almost there, she'll be fine.”

“you don't know that. that– that crazy bitch is there.” the tracker now found itself in kirishima’s other hand, the location reading inside his house. “youre not gonna want to hear this.”

“don't fucking tell me. we're here.” he barely pulled in to the driveway when he jumped out the car, braking it abruptly. “back me up.” was all he said as he continued moving forward, not looking back.

he walked up to the door, doing his best to stay quiet as he hopped your white fence and entered through the glass door. he saw you.. and.. surely enough a man he's never seen before.

you seemed off as he barged in, unmoving as he screamt, “[name]! move now!”.

at your silence and stillness, he walked closer to you. only to stop at the red dot aimed at your forehead.

“katsuki. don't move, please.” you were crying, tears streaming down your face as your hands shook. your knees looked like they were about to falter under your extreme fear, your eyes wide and horrified. “stay back.”

he stilled as well, noting the man who had just the rifle at point blank range. he smirked at katsuki, who had his fists balled in anger. kirishima hadn't revealed his presence, hidden behind the sliding door of your home.

“i don't like to leave my work unfinished, you know?” the man said, keeping his finger close to the trigger as he continued speaking. “i don't know how or why, but she managed to avoid my first shot. man my teacher would be pissed.”

“eraserhead?”

“yeah, eraser. he told me all about how you embarrassed my blood a couple years back. how you drove over half the members to the brink of death.”

“yeah, i did do that.” he felt weird talking about this in front of you, you never like it when he spoke about his job in front of you, and now was no different. other than the bullet in your direction. “there's a cease now. we're okay, the fucking shit is over.”

“who gives a fuck? not me. you– you expect me to believe they don't want you dead? that they don't hold some shit against you?”

“they don't. put down the gun– she's not even involved in this.” he slowly moved forward, his hand nearing his gun.

“stay back! or i'll shoot.” he hung his finger right over the trigger, “i'll blow her brains out. back the fuck up.”

katsuki stilled, “don't do this. why her? why not me if you're problem is with me?”

the man scoffed, purple hair covering his eye as he sneered. “because i know that wouldn't hurt you as much as this. as much as killing her in front of you. you're life must've always been disposable, all of us are. normal people don't join gangs.” he laughed, continuing on and on about something as katsuki tried to grab his gun without him noticing.

“who– who fucking tipped you off huh?” katsuki grumbled, attempting to take his attention off his wandering hands.

“well, it started with shinsou. i stole a couple of his bullets, real easy. that dumbass is trusting as long as you're associated with his teacher.” the guy laughed, “hawks though? i offered him a crazy number, asking for your addresses and shit. he gave in easily.”

he eyed the hand towards katsuki’s waist. “drop your gun, do you think i'm fucking stupid?”

katsuki tsked, “you sure do look it,” pulling out the silver ghost and putting it on the floor. it fell by his feet. “kick it away, ill ignore that remark since im feeling gracious.” he did so, making it ricochet off your foot.

filled with a newfound sense of confidence, the man chuckled, going closer to you. he brought his body closer, gun still pointed at you. he was rambling now, his words weren't anything katsuki was focused on. he was looking at his moments, waiting. waiting for a moment to strike, a moment of weakness, something.

and he saw it. his gun faltered, the weight of the large sniper not meant to be freely held in the air finally affecting him, as he had to switch hands to keep supporting it. he was quick to try and fix its position.

but katsuki was quicker, headbutting his stomach. a shot rang out, thankfully the gun had been pointed towards the ceiling, only hitting a random area in the roof. the two on the floor were fighting, fists full of rage as they pushed each other.

the sound of smashed bones and hits so strong katsuki knew they'd bring bruises to his knuckles the next day rang throughout the room, they were both in blinded rage.

after they had been knocked away from eachother, they eyed the gun next to them, chests heaving and body parts broken. they lurched towards the gun, the purple haired man closer to it.

he was going to grab it first, katsuki internally panicked, but the sight that came after only made him worry more.

the sight of you grabbing the gun out of his reach.

you had picked up the gun. you who could barely stomach stomping bugs or killing wasps. you who hated watching horror movies because doing that to people seemed so cruel. you, who had cried when he taught you how to shoot a gun, hoping that this situation would only pop up in his worst nightmares.

you who shakily held up the gun towards the man’s head, making him scoff. “put down the gun, princess. you won't do it.”

your chest was heaving, your knees felt like they were about to give out. your heart was racing, your fingers fumbling over the trigger. “b-back away.”

katsuki didn't know what to say, neither did kirishima who'd burst in from behind you. if he told you to put down the gun, you'd both be in danger. he could take it from you and kill all of you. fuck, why did this have to happen?

“put down the gun, little girl. you're not cut out for this life, so just hand it over. maybe you'll see your husband in purgatory, sure as hell not going to the same place though.” his hand was nearing the gun, his head was so close to the barrel. your hands shook, your eyes closed, eyebrows scrunched, a shaky exhale escaped your lips. katsuki recalled that look from ever shot he'd made you shoot at a range, the face you made when you finally grew enough courage.

“[name]!”

the man's eyes widened as you shot him, point blank rage. his blood splattered over your hello kitty pajamas, but you'd never forget the look on his face when you opened your eyes. the white of his eyes staring at you, the hole that pierced his head and ruined the white of your carpet, the hand that had tried to cover his wound in the millisecond that he had left of his life.

people, people you didn't recognize barged in to the front of your house. they didn't look horrified at the corpse at the floor, they looked more scared of you.

you'll never forget how they all treated you. approaching you like you were a nut case, coaxing you to throw the gun away from you like you didn't want to run away from this whole situation. baby-talking you like you were insane.

you'd never regretted marrying katsuki, but standing here. bloodied and a murderer. that was the first straw for you.

but like always, he'd save you from the mess. when the gun dropped to the floor, on top of the body with a sickening clank! he grabbed you, carrying you up to your shared room.

in your solitude you sobbed, wailing into his chest like you'd done just a day prior. the sun had just risen, illuminating your tears as you shook on your shared bed.

he held you close, reading your mind. “you're not a monster, or a murderer.”

“how can you say that though? i just killed him!” your eyes widened, heart beating like crazy. “it was self defense, he would've killed us all. you did good [name].” he held your face in his hands, letting you see him with his bruised and cut up face.

“you saved me. you saved yourself. you saved anyone that would've been targeted by that freak.”

you finally calmed down enough to go shower. the blood washing off your body didn't help to calm down the storm brewing in your head, the anxiety overcoming you, but he did. he always did.

as he helped rinse the blood of your face, your arms and where it'd been caught in your stomach, replacing it with suds of rosy soap that he'd bought because it ‘smelled’ like you, the voices in your head came to a slow stop.

he was the only one who understood, the only one who had gotten his hands bloodied the same way as you, even worse. as he held you that night, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, holding your body close to his as if you were to disappear, you felt normal again.

all traces of the body were gone the next morning, the dent in the ceiling the only remnants of the situation. as katsuki cooked breakfast for the two of you, you couldn't believe how regular it all felt.

how nothing seemed changed, how when kirishima and kaminari came over to cheer you up and check on the two of you they didn't seem phased. how you all sat around your dining room table as normal, katsuki drinking his black coffee while holding your hand under the table, all of you joking around as regular.

how when you went back to your bakery everything was fixed already, a little green sticky note standing out from the display case that was empty because of your absence.

‘sorry for the inconveniences mr and mrs. bakugo, take this as our apologies.’

-midoriya, shindo

there were two small doodles of them on the corner, making you laugh as you gawked at the renovation done to your lovely little shop.

you showed it to katsuki who only scoffed, a small smirk on his face as he looked over the fresh paint, tiles, and replaced tables. “damn nerds.”

you didn't feel so up to baking today, which katsuki understood perfectly. you left the store hand in hand, noticing how the glass of the entrance had been fixed too.

you'd walked to the ramen shop you'd had your first date at, taking the booth in the corner like always. katsuki held your hand, clinging to you more than usual.

he barely let you out of his sight, even offering to feed you, which made you laugh and smack his chopsticks away.

“hey, 'suki.” you asked, poking his side. “it's over right? you're coming home?”

he nodded, swallowing his food before answering. “asshole’s off the streets, that's all i wanted for you, and for us babe.”

“ew don't kiss me when you just ate!”

“do you not love me woman?! we almost fucking died!”

what you didn't know wouldn't hurt you, that's what katsuki thought as he reasoned his white lie.

he pondered how he'd make it up to you. technically he didn't do anything wrong in your eyes but he'd still feel internally guilty. he'd take you out to all your favorites, get you a new purse, do all the chores for a week. that sounded good to him as he made his way back to HQ, his hands in his pockets as midoriya eyed him with a knowing look.

you shouldn't and wouldn't want to know about his true final day right? how he'd ordered kirishima and kaminari do round up the rest of the quadrant. how he'd told them to leave them all for him in the basements of the HQ.

how he truly earned back his reputation of being explosive, leaving the three assholes who'd dared to conspire with a guy like that mangled and unrecognizable. if not for the names written in sharpie on their arms he wouldn't have remembered which one was which either.

he dropped the hammer from his hand, looking down at his work with a sense of satisfaction. he changed out of his clothes into the clean ones he came in with, throwing the bloodied ones into an incinerator.

he let iida and shoto handle the bodies, they were always good at leaving them left without a trace. fast too.

he thought about you the entire walk home. he felt giddy at the thought of seeing you again, excited to just exist in your presence. he stretched his body, working up the courage to see you as he opened the door.

“babe, you're home! where have you been?” you crashed into his chest, tightening your hold around him as you hugged him.

“out, finishing up loose ends y’know.”

as you looked up at him, trust and love in your eyes he knew.

he knew that he'd go back, leave, and kill all in a vicious cycle if it all meant coming back to you at the end.

because you were his everything, so he'd do anything for you.

tags: @miguellover6969 @lotusstarr @dragonscribble @theplacetoputfics @hannahk

[askssgenerations]

Hi, so, after your post I have a few question about Arthur, and I understand if you can't anserw them if it's not spoilers for the story.

So, how exactly did Arthur go back to his own world? Did Merlina give up trying to make him stay, or did he find a way of his own?

Another thing, is Arthur simply what others started calling him when they learned he was King Arthur and disregard his actual name, or is Arthur actually his name and not Sonic?

If it's the former, I imagine it was frustrating having everyone ignore his actual name, instead calling him a title and name he didn't choose for himself, one that was forced upon him.

Thanks for the question!! To all you Arthur enjoyers, here’s a page of the guy

I get two main questions about him: Is one of the Sonics, and will we see him outside of flashbacks? For the first one, y’all are stuck with Lance on that. The second? Perhaps :)

Looking back, I kinda realized that I gave Arthur the dead wife haunting the narrative role? For someone who’s not even there, he still has a huge presence!

The other questions, I can answer a bit more freely lol!

For how Arthur gets home, I haven’t decided that yet! Maybe the Lady of the Lake ends up pitying him, Merlina changes her mind, or he just popped back one day. However, time moves a lot differently in SATBK. So, Arthur is 2 years older after leaving the storybook.

For your other question, Arthur is what they started calling him despite being Sonic. And yeah, the loss of identity/freedom from being hailed as King Arthur for years made him. a little mad. It also led him to various coping mechanisms, which I might go into detail later? It really depends, I’m not exactly sure how young this audience runs? Arthur’s storyline would probably dip into mature themes, and I really don’t want to expose younger groups to that. So depending on the response, I’ll dial back Arthur’s involvement in the plot and stuff.

Last bit, I promise.

In terms of Lansoni? By the end of his reign, Arthur is Lance’s greatest failure, and Lance is Sonic’s worst nightmare.

Before that? It was right person, wrong time.

[fieldofdaisiies]

Ultima Ex Nobis | ch. XV

-all rights reserved-

Nessian AU word count: ~3,2k words warnings: violence summary: Six years into a global pandemic which was caused by a mass fungal infection that turns hosts into zombie-like creatures and makes the whole of Prythian collapse, the former army general Cassian Cadell is tasked with one very special mission – escorting Nesta Archeron, one of the few immune survivors, across a post-apocalyptic Prythian to a group of people of the name L. Their identity  is unknown but they can make an antidote.

masterlist

When the first strays of sunlight fall through the window Nesta feels the gentle press of soft lips against her brow. “You snored like bear, I assume you slept well,” Cassian chuckles lowly. His voice dances over Nesta’s skin and leaves goosebumps in its wake. Her lips curl and her eyes open slowly. “You are full of shit, Cassian.” She gives her eyes a little roll that makes Cassian catch her face in his large hand and force her gaze to meet his. “Don’t ever roll your eyes at me, Nes.”

He stares into her eyes, the brown darkening and making his eyes glow with nothing but desire. The former general’s gaze drops to her lips and then he kisses her. He kisses her just like he kissed her the previous night, with the same passion, the same fire and the same urge. Like kissing her is the only thing that assuages his hunger, that makes him feel alive. Cassian’s pushes up onto his elbow, carefully rolling the over until he hovers over Nesta. His mouth is on her jaw, nipping softly and eliciting the most beautiful sounds from Nesta. He loves how she arches into him, how her hips press against him, how her core rubs against his growing erection. “Continue where we started last night, Nes,” Cassian drawls as his lips capture her ear lobe and he nips lightly. He lifts his head a little to see her reaction, to see the look on her face, the fire in her eyes. 

A mischievous smile curls Nesta’s lips. “So you mean that the big bad army general is now going to make love to me?” She grins, and slowly lets one hand brush down his chest, to the hem of his pants. It is the taunting in her tone that makes Cassian’s blood boil, and his skin tighten. He hisses when her hand slips below the waist band of his joggers and she grabs his cock through the fabric of his underpants, rubbing her palm over it.  

"One thing Nes," Cassian rasps and licks over her lower lip. "I don’t make love. I fuck.”

Wet heat floods her, her toes curl on the bed and Nesta sucks in a sharp breath. His wording is so vulgar, so dirty, but she loves it. Loves it when he talks like that. Cassian has tickled something inside her, has woken something, a need and an emotion she hasn’t felt before. But she never wants to lose it, always wants to feel it. Always wants Cassian to help her bring this thing, she doesn’t really know what it even is, to life. 

Tilting her head a little, Nesta trails her mouth over Cassian’s and against his lips she whispers, “Then fuck me.” Her sultry tone is his undoing, his body comes down on her, her hand still grabbing his cock now trapped between their bodies. He kisses her fiercely, almost in a ravishing way, that makes Nesta never want to stop the kiss. If they could stay kissing for the rest of her life she would be content with it, would accept it and that thought irritates her just a little. Hasn’t she disliked Cassian a lot at first? Her memories blur, but what stays clear in front of all the fog in her mind is Cassian’s kindness and acceptance over the past weeks. He has been nothing but kind to her, has respected her always these past weeks and she values that. They had a bumpy start, but now things looked so well and she—

“Focus, Nes,” Cassian drawls and brings her attention back to him. “We have more important things to do than thinking.”

“Do we?” She grins, but Cassian kisses her again, teasingly dragging his tongue across the seam of lips and pressing his hips against hers, his cock against her palm. 

It is a loud knock that interrupts them, that makes Nesta’s hand, that is still placed on her lovers very present erection, still and her eyes, ablaze with lust, meet Cassian’s and lock. He stills as well, going rigid on top of her.

“I assume you are awake, telling by the noises. We need to leave, Azriel has found a good trace and we should not waste more time. I am really sorry for interrupting…well, whatever you are doing. But the weather looks good today and we should arrive at our next destination before nightfall. We can’t waste any time.” Eris knocks once again, but then moves away from the door. Nesta’s chest heaves with deep inhales, her skin is flushed and frustration fills her whole body. With a loud groan Cassian lets his head fall to her cleavage, and exhales loudly. “We will continue this, Nes. At our next destination. We will finish what we started.” With that he pushes onto his palms, kisses her brow one last time before moving off the bed. 

∙ ∙ • ◦ • ◦ ∙ ∙

“Morning,” Azriel smirks and then sips from a glass of water. Eris gives him a gentle shove, but can’t avoid the smug smile spreading over his own face. “You slept well?” Azriel adds then, innocently gazing over the rim of his glass. 

A wicked grin spreads over Cassian’s face and he opens his mouth, wanting to say that not much sleeping has happened but Nesta is quicker. 

“Like a babe,” she smiles then, pushing past Cassian and getting her own glass of water, drinking it down in a few big gulps. Cassian raises his brows at her, some unspoken communication passing between the two of them. Nesta can almost here the raspy sound of his voice when he says the word thirsty and it hollows in her mind until she catches herself again and places her glass on the counter. They finish up in the kitchen, cleaning up the little mess they made while Azriel moves the computer back into the closet, having noted down and photographed the most important things. Only around 20 minutes later they are ready to go on the road again.

But am I ready to leave this place? Nesta asks herself when she is the last to walk through the door that falls shut behind her with a loud noise. A lot has changed while being her. A lot between her and Cassian has changed, a lot that can’t be taken back. They said and did things that will always connect them some way or the other. 

“Nes?” Cassian softly asks over his shoulder when he notices Nesta’s hesitant steps. She lifts her gaze to him. There are thick, dark clouds in the sky and the soil is wet from the rain throughout the night. “Are you alright?” He extends his hand, hoping for Nes to grab it, to not push him away again. And Nesta does not push him away. She gently takes is hand into hers and lets him guide her to the car. “Thank you,” she says in a low, but steady voice. “I am alright. Just—“ “Nervous about the uncertainty of the road. I know. We all are.” He gives her hand a gentle squeeze that tells her she is not alone, that he is with her. That Cassian is here with her. And that comforts Nesta and makes a tiny, barely there smile appear on her face. She lowers her gaze, feeling her cheeks warm a little. Cassian lets go off her hand when she climbs into the back of the car and he surrounds it to get in on his side. Azriel and Eris are already seated, but other than before, now it is Azriel who is driving. “Good conditions for Shamblers,” Eris grumbles when he adjusts his seatbelt and opens his glovebox to take out a little gun. He weighs it in his hands, Cassian watches and Azriel starts his car. “Ever shot someone, Vanserra?” Cassian asks, sitting in a sprawl at the back of the car but looking at Eris through the rear view mirror. 

Eris slowly dips his chin. “Unfortunately and I am not proud of it.” Silence fills the inside of the car after that, there is only the sound of the engine being turned on and the car slowly rolling out of the garage. They roll onto the road, keeping a wary glance on the pathway ahead of them and their surroundings. 

Her head rests against the window when Nesta watches how a dark wall of clouds pushes across a the sky above them. More rain, she thinks and shudders at the thought of it and what rain and dampness attracts. Actually they have all believed that the rain would finally stop, has finally stopped, that is why they went on the road again. But things seem to take a turn somehow. 

There is a greyish cast to the light but at least there are small pockets of sunlight that create shafts through the grey and give Nesta a little bit of hope. Maybe it won’t be too bad?

Their journey takes them over old and untravelled roads, through the ghost towns and makes them see the vast landscape of a county called Autumn. As it raining lightly once again Nesta thinks it suits perfectly for this place and Eris explains it is where he was born. The listen to calm music while outside the rain is getting heavier, until it is fully pouring down on them. Azriel pulls over, the windshield wiper no longer being able to catch up with the heavy downpour. 

“What are you thinking? We stop here until the rain calms?” They are in front of a huge building, and Nesta gathers that this might be a school — a high school. Yes, she thinks, it is a high school.

“And do what?” Eris asks Azriel and shows him a hesitant look. Azriel pulls one arm up to shrug.

“We can look for things. Power tiles, gasoline for the tank. Oil, because something seems a little off with your car, Vanserra,” Cassian suggests. 

Eris fights the urge to roll his eyes and just inclines his head. He has to give Cassian that, knowing that his car has been making some weird noises since a few weeks. But he has just told himself it is nothing bad, nothing to worry about.

“Alright, lets stop then.” Azriel turns of the engine, and a feeling of unease fills Nesta’s stomach. She furrows her brows and removes her gaze that has been focused on the drizzle sliding down the window. “You think going in there is a good idea?” “I agree with Nesta. I don’t think it is a good idea. We don’t know what is lurking in there, just waiting for us,” Eris supports her and shakes his head a little. Nesta can practically feel his unease and gets even more anxious. Even Eris Vanserra doubts it is a good a idea to go in there, then they should really not do it.

But Cassian and Azriel are convinced it is fine, tell the other two that this place is probably just as lost as the places they have seen on their way here. Who should be here? And Eris reluctantly gives in, agreeing that it probably is just as a lost place as the house they stayed at. Apparently there is really not living being left here. But Nesta is not convinced and so Cassian offers that she can stay in the car, lock it from the inside and be safe here. She hesitates, decides to stay, then to come along and then again to stay. Cassian is not really happy about this decision, but he does not want to push her, it is her decision. Always. 

But Nesta…Nesta regrets her decision the moment the last door falls shut and she is alone. Through the front mirror she watches the three men walk towards the school building. The rain is too strong and the air too foggy for her to see how they open the door, but somehow they walk inside and Nesta lifts herself up in her seat, drawing in one deep breath. Her gaze is still trained on the school building when she inhales again and then blows out a long breath. She pushes the door open just a moment later, sliding outside into the pouring rain that immediately soaks her clothes, and starts running. It was stupid to stay behind, she does not want to be alone and she also does not want the three of them to be alone without her. Nesta doubts she can be of much help, but looking for things and stuff she can do, so technically she will be some kind of support. The door is unlocked when she arrives there, and it keeps her wondering if that is how they got in so easily. Was it unlocked before as well? This thought scares her. Because if it was unlocked before, everyone could be in here. 

Those dimwits, those neanderthals, those— Nesta shuts up her thoughts, not wanting to think that badly about the man that made her come with just his tongue the previous night. She feels her cheeks flush a little at that thought and quickly shakes her head to focus on what really matters — finding Azriel, Cassian and Eris. Her shoes make squeaky noises when she, as carefully as possible, pads over the floor. Her heart beats steadily in her chest and she clamps down on the memories that start to rise inside of her at the thought of highschool and how her life was back then. Everything was so good back then, so easy, nothing much other than what to do after school and boys were on her mind. She dated a guy called Thomas, who the name dimwit really was perfect for. But apart from that it just was easy back then. As easy as high school can be, but at least there was no global pandemic that was caused by a mass fungal infection that turns hosts into zombie-like creatures and made the whole of Prythian collapse. So it was easier back then!

She feels uneasy, her stomach dipping and the content souring when she carefully waddles through the empty, dark hallways, no soul in sight. Where they hell are they? Nesta thinks. Not that much time has passed between them entering the school and her following. 

She passes the narrow metal lockers with the air slits, wondering how many pupils did not have a chance to collect their items from there, how many children never made it home to their parents. It is dim inside, the only light comes from the big windows, but due to the weather condition outside it is not much. Before turning around a corner her eyes land on a glass cabinet and she sees some trophies from 2016, 20 12, 20—

Clicking and croaking sounds behind her and Nesta swirls around, and her body freezes mid-movement. Whatever she is seeing, she has never seen before and it does also not at all match any of the descriptions for types of infected the others have given her. This…this being is something wholly different. It looks like numerous people are found constrained together, like one big fungus being is made of many. It or rather they are covered in thick fungal growth and slowly stalk towards her. And as much as Nesta tries to keep her mouth shut, her panic gets the best of her and her lips part in a loud scream of pure terror. Horror blooms in her chest and she stumbles backwards, bumping against the lockers, and nearly tripping over her own feet. 

The three men must have been alarmed by her panicked scream and so they are the ones who find her only a moment later, blazing through the school, towards the source of the scream. They come running, especially Cassian, at high speed and all stop in shock when they see what is in front of them. 

“Fucking bloody hell,” Cassian breathes and lifts his gun into his hands, but Azriel shoves him aside, fumbling something out of his backpack. “Eris I need fire,” he shouts back and his partner comes running, pulling out a lighter the moment Azriel unscrews the bottle and puts a piece of cloth inside. In any other moment Nesta would have gasped in surprise about them having a Molotov Cocktail just like that ready, but now is not the time for it. Eris sets it on fire and Azriel tosses it at the monster in front of them. Azriel shoves Eris back the moment Cassian lunges for Nesta, pulling her to him so the spores from the coming explosion won’t affect her. She closes her eyes when she hears screeching and screaming, wailing and a big boom. And then everything is calm and she allows herself to release a breath that ends in a sharp inhale.

More clicking and croaking sounds around her, four erratically twitching creatures stumble out from one side of the corridor, a handful more from the other side. They all are coming for them joined by what has been explained to her as the Shamblers and Clickers and whatever, she does not know and also does not have time to ponder. She fumbles for the gun strapped to her belt, Cassian doing the same, all three of them getting ready to fight. 

They fight but more are coming, angst and horror collide in all their bodies, fire hot panic blazing through their veins. Nesta fires a shot, but she can’t focus, her heart is racing, her hands trembling and she misses, shoots but misses again and again and then there is just smoke and more smoke and panic and everything is blurry and her head is spinning. More shots sound around her but they—

They can’t be coming from the men next to her. They come from somewhere else. She can make out the outlines of people, she can see the dead infected on the ground but her vision is blurry and Nesta knows she is crying. She is weeping but she keeps on fighting, loading the gun and shooting at the distance until a hand folds over her mouth and she is pressed against a body. She loses her gun when someone grips her wrist. The voice that says her name is so familiar it makes a cold shiver run down her spine and she questions if she might be trapped in a nightmare. “Finally got you, little bitch.” Briallyn. Nesta shudders against her, wanting to scream but she cannot. The hand over her mouth stops her and she trashes her hands around, kicking backwards but not hitting anything. Nausea rises inside of her at the helplessness she is feeling. 

“Let her go!” Cassian shouts and Nesta blinks her eyes rapidly, hoping to see him and she does. He keeps his gun pointed at her and Briallyn. Some of the blurriness clears. Cassian stares, but his hand is shaking. There are more. Eris is on the ground, fighting against a man she does not know. Azriel has another man pressed against the wall, the man having his hand wrapped around Azriel’s throat. 

But Cassian does nothing. He just stands there, his gun pointed at Briallyn. Shock fills his eyes, panic etched into his features. His hand trembles harder, his chest heaves with deep inhales. But he doesn’t do anything. He does not shoot. He does not move. He does…nothing…He only looks at them.

~~~~~~~~

tags: @helhjertet @moonlightazriel @aayo-whatt @crushedcloudsx @brekkershadowsinger @girasoli-e-sorrisi @ignite-me @swifti-ed @cassiansbigwingspan @burningsnowleopard @headcanonheadcase @banasheefan56 @a-frog-with-a-laptop

[cobaincreates]

as it is

warnings: saddy sad sad, secretly hope i hurt you with this

count: 3k+

pinterest for the pic let me know what ya thinkin

i made a playlist for this!

— — —

every part of you despised the country club. you hated the food, you hated the people, you hated the money. you refused to partake in anything the members organized. like hell you’d show up for cocktails and meaningless conversations with people you didn’t care to know. you hated the snobs, the businessmen with sticks up their asses, the housewives with no names other than their husbands’. and you most certainly hated, loathed, despised midsummers. the one time you had actually enjoyed yourself was with someone who seemed so far away now.

your father was practically forcing you to go tonight just so he’d have a date. you knew how much it meant to him, to show up in support of his recent divorce from your step-mother, a woman who was a nightmare walking. after moaning and groaning about not wanting to go the night prior, you finally realized that you had to for him. your dad was your best friend and someone you always leaned on and went to for anything. growing up without a mom, or that motherly figure, was difficult in its own but your father had done a great job. you came home every night, ate dinner with him, had conversations that either had you crying of laughter or even more love for him. he really was your best friend.

the past few months had been hard. not even because of your dad, you felt for him, but you had your own dramas to deal with. on top of being a full-time student off the island and working part-time in a small boutique, you had been fighting an internal battle. it came along with a heavy dark cloud and one that constantly followed you around. now, being back home for the summer, it felt even heavier and seemed even darker than before.

your dad’s breakup had gone fairly smooth, and without a lawsuit thankfully. yours on the other hand felt as though it were still happening. each day you could feel your heart breaking more and more, like the dying organ was spreading rot throughout your body, making your limbs numb and cold. sometimes you had to close your eyes to find the faint beating.

you knew something was going on between you and rafe only a few weeks prior to the initial decision. your gut was telling you something was wrong whenever you spoke with him, either on the phone or in person. his college was close to yours, but still so far. you knew he had a life without you in it and you fully understood that and respected it. but one day it felt as though he had put you way farther down on his list of priorities than he ever had before and it didn’t sit right. you tried to ignore the growing mass in your gut the more you saw him, noticing small things like his eyes flicking away or how his hand felt limp in yours. usually he held it so tight like he was afraid to let go. but then it turned into you not wanting to let go. you still didn’t want to.

you still didn’t understand why he did it or what you had done wrong. he never said that he wasn’t in love with you anymore. the only thing close to an answer you got was that he’d still be your friend. you would’ve understood completely if he had said that he wasn’t sure what he was feeling, you would’ve totally let him figure it out himself– given him some time to think.

before you started to date rafe, he had a habit of keeping himself closed off. you understood it the best you could with being a young adult and navigating your mind. it took a while for you to finally get his trust, to get a good look at the inside of his brain. now it felt as if you were back at square one, like you were trying to knock down the hard exterior all over again.

as you got ready for the night you couldn’t help reminiscing on last year’s midsummers. rafe had worn a new tux and slicked back his hair, his face adorned with a gleeful smile. you didn’t let him get too into his head at the small conversations with his father nor did you let him lose himself in the free booze. you made sure to hold him up as best you could and to sway him from anything that might trigger his inner demons. it was a beautiful night and you remembered how he looked at you, so adoringly like he was the luckiest guy in the world, when it had been you all along with the luck.

you looked between a golden necklace, a thin chain with the northern star attached, and a silver one your father had gifted you for a birthday one year. running your thumb over the golden star, you couldn’t help leaning toward wearing it.

“what’s this?” turning around, you held the white box in the palm of your hand. your curious eyes met rafe’s as he looked up at you from a book he was reading. his arm slowly moved from behind his head as he sat up.

“i wasn’t supposed to be around when you found that.” he said, closing the book, and smiling sheepishly.

you blushed and broke out into a grin as you moved to sit by him with the box. “you weren’t going to propose in person?”

“i’m not proposing,” he rolled his eyes.

you hummed with a teasing grin and pulled the top off the box. rafe moved his legs over the side of his bed, brushing against you. he clasped his hands together between his knees as he watched you open the second box. your shoulders relaxed as a breath came out of your mouth, seeing a golden necklace perfectly placed, shimmering.

“rafe, it’s so pretty.”

he smiled at your reaction. reaching over, he maneuvered the necklace out of the box and unclasped it. you discarded the box in your lap and moved your hair out of the way as rafe brought it around your neck, letting it rest delicately. his hand rubbed down your back once it was secure, pressing a soft kiss into the hollow between your shoulder and neck. you looked up into his handsome face, breathing in the air and filling up with all of the love for him.

you clasped the silver necklace and moved from the mirror without looking over yourself. your father was waiting for you by the door, he had been ready to go for ten minutes, but he didn’t bother shouting up the stairs to get you to hurry up. you thanked him silently for your coat and walked out the door.

it sort of made you queasy to know that some of your father’s money was contributing to the event. the awning covered in vines and vines of ivy made you grimace. you quickly dropped it as your dad put a hand on your upper back, posing next to you with a bright smile. you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d meet a new wife tonight. maybe he’d finally give ms. conelly the time of day after years of her pining over him. it was so disgustingly obvious when she came over, offering his favorite dessert of lemon bars as some sort of flirtation device. it worked since she was invited into the house every time and you spent at least an hour and a half rolling your eyes in your room at their laughter floating up the stairs. you used to imagine your stepmother diving across the kitchen island and yanking ms. conelly’s extensions out. there was also a fight when the overly friendly neighbor left.

it wasn’t long before you were stationed at the hor d'oeuvres table, watching your father laugh with some of his friends. they each wore the same boring suit, just in difference colors or slightly different styles. you held in a yawn. you wondered if you looked ridiculous in your dress. subconsciously, you looked down to assess if anything was out of place or if the fabric was too ruffled somewhere. you tugged at it a little then your hand fell easily to the necklace. you turned the pendant over and over between your fingers, watching as a waiter carried a tray toward a group of blonde, identical housewives. you analyzed their diamond necklaces with their matching diamond rings and diamond bracelets. did they ever get tired of it?

you felt a pinprick at the back of your neck once you saw him. the whir of chatter and clinking glasses muffled as you watched him come through the doors onto the porch. the pinprick sent a ripple of tremors up your neck, to the back of your skull. your hands fell to the table behind you, leaning against it to remind you that you were here. you were solid matter.

this year he wore a light gray suit. you liked it much better than the god-awful baby blue one. you kept it to yourself how much you despised it. he looked very handsome and it made you want to tear your heart from your chest and plant it at his feet.

he molded quietly into a group where his father was, joined by his sisters and stepmother. you let out a breath the best you could and yearned for him to look at you. he was facing in your direction but preoccupied with a family friend. all it would take was for him to just lift his eyes, to see you there in your dress, one he hadn’t seen ever. you wondered if you looked as good as he did. would he think so? would it change his mind?

this was ridiculous, you were just going to go over there. you had known his family for years, they loved you, they loved your dad. would your father bring you over with him when he greeted them? he was too busy now talking to a former client, holding a shiny glass of scotch. you didn’t want to wait for him to stop his conversation. it wouldn’t hurt to just go over to rafe and his family.

you stepped forward but your movements faltered pathetically. you stepped back to the table and turned around, staring down at a plate of speared shrimp with tiny parsley leaves over them like blankets. other people moved around you, probably giving you odd looks for blocking the way to the food. your eyes blurred, the waterworks coming fast. you pushed from the table, slightly jostling it, and walked quickly to the restroom.

once inside the safety of the empty bathroom, you curled into a ball with your forehead on your knees. you didn’t care about the dress or if you would crease it. all you could think about was rafe and how he wouldn’t even look at you.

your sniffles stopped once you heard the door open. you sat up and breathed, wiping your eyes and hoping you didn’t look as bad as you felt.

sarah was standing outside of the stall when you unlatched it. your shoulders dropped and you welcomed her tight embrace, wondering when the last time you hugged her was. she pulled you to sit down on the puffy ottoman in the middle of the restroom.

“crying over crab cakes, huh?” sarah nudged your side. you laughed at the inside joke as you stared down at your lap. “you look great. i love your dress.”

“i’m sure i do.” you snorted and reached up to wipe under your eyes. you brushed off the mascara flecks from your fingertips. “happy midsummer’s.”

sarah smiled sympathetically and you couldn’t help your eyes watering again at her face. “i’m sorry,” she said, grabbing ahold of your hand in your lap.

“it’s fine.” you waved her off, knowing she meant about the person she shared the same blood with. “i guess i just wasn’t ready to see him yet. is that stupid?”

“no.” sarah shook her head as she looked intently at you.

“does he even miss me?” you asked. “he won’t even look at me. he probably doesn’t care that i’m here right now.”

sarah reached up to brush a piece of hair behind your ear. she had always felt like a sister to you and you hoped she didn’t feel any differently now that you weren’t dating her brother.

“he said he wanted to be friends. he hasn’t even talked to me since we broke up.” you weren’t sure if sarah was just keeping quiet to let you talk or because she knew the answers to your questions. “i can’t stop thinking about him. god, it would be easier to be angry at him. i wish he came with someone else.”

“i’m sorry you broke up.” she said. you sniffed and gave her a sad smile.

sighing deeply, you sat up straight a second later. you partially felt better for getting a few things out to someone. you hadn’t really talked that much about the break up to anyone. your father was already dealing with enough and your friends were back in their own homes, miles and miles away. you felt like you sounded pathetic over the phone so you didn’t even bother.

sarah excused herself to use the bathroom and you waited for her. you washed your hands and wiped at your eyes, cleaning up the mascara that ran a little. nothing too major to give away that you had been crying. once sarah was out and had clean hands, she put her arm through yours and walked with you through the club then back outside.

sarah groaned once you got to the porch. “i have to go drag wheezie from the table. she’s always on her phone and if i don’t do it, my dad will be pissed. i’ll see you around?”

you smiled genuinely at her minuscule drama and nodded. she gave your arm a squeeze before bounding down the steps, her dress flowing behind her. you watched as she nudged wheezie, who ignored her, then as sarah snatched the phone from her sister’s hands and tossed it onto the table. wheezie quickly turned to her older sister and started to shout until she remembered where she was. you knew that the cameron sisters knew that if they caused a scene, all hell would break lose with ward, their father. he was all about his family’s image.

you stepped over to the railing, leaning against one of the pillars with your arms across your chest. looking over the crowding dance area, you saw your father dancing with ms. conelly. you had to stop the bile from reaching your throat. maybe she was nicer than your stepmother—ex stepmother.

you found rafe with a group of his friends closer to the tables. it was nauseating that they all had at least one hand in their pocket each. they could’ve been a boy band for crying out loud. rafe was laughing and you couldn’t hear him over the mass amount of chatter, but you knew which laugh it was. he was enjoying himself. at least he was happy. beside him, topper was sipping from a green beer bottle. a humorous hum erupted from your chest, a smile pulling at the corner of your lips.

you couldn’t stop giggling. it bubbled from your chest like champagne and disappeared into the fast moving air around you as you jogged onto the porch. you held an arm over your chest, stopping your boobs from bouncing too much, while your hand was clasped tightly in rafe’s. he stopped along the railing, propping himself against the pillar to breathe. you peered over at topper who was trying to contain his coughing fit.

rafe laughed, squinting his eyes shut. you two had escaped just in time from the boy who was trying so hard to flirt with cassie o’brien. from the sound of it, it wasn’t going well at all so you took it upon yourself to help topper out. you whispered to rafe for his hidden flask and snuck a bit into topper’s drink that he was holding. it was difficult at first since he talked a lot with his hands, but eventually you poured some of the liquor in and hid it as you went back over to rafe. it didn’t take long for topper to know what happened, his eyes finding you and your boyfriend before you ran like school children.

“he’s going to give us so much shit.” you said, shaking your head with a grin.

rafe settled, wiping the corner of his eyes. he pulled the flask from his pocket and held it up in cheers to topper, who was still shooting daggers your way. rafe took a swig then passed it to you. you took a sip, grimacing and shivering as the liquor passed into your system.

“i don’t even know how much i put in his drink.” you said as you handed the flask back. rafe laughed again, leaning toward you to put his head on your shoulder. his arms went around you, pulling you flush against him in a hug.

“god, i love you.” he said, bright eyes as he looked down at you.

you smiled before he kissed you sweetly, holding your face against his for a moment.

you hadn’t realized you’d caught topper’s attention until he disappeared from your sight. you reached for the railing with shaky hands, willing them to stop trembling.

“you look pathetic over here.” topper said from behind you. you looked over your shoulder as he walked over.

“thanks so much, topper.” you said in a feigned enthusiastic tone. he sighed deeply and glanced in the direction of where he previously was, where rafe still was. you didn’t bother looking over there. you found the chipped paint much more interesting than your ex.

“you don’t have to be over here.” you said. the last thing you wanted was rafe’s best friend pitying you. did rafe ask him to come over?

topper turned in your peripheral, leaning his hip against the railing, his hands on his pockets. “you’re my friend too.” he said. you picked off a piece of paint. it crumbled easily under your nail. “you’re not answering my texts.”

now you looked up at him. maybe he’d see why you hadn’t answered. he’d have to be an idiot not to know. topper was smart though and you knew that. he gave you a sympathetic look, much like sarah.

“why don’t you find a rebound or something?” topper suggested, hoping to lighten the mood. “there’s a whole lot of fresh meat here.”

you didn’t want fresh meat. you wanted old meat. you wanted the meat you had for the last two years. it was familiar. it was safe. you knew the taste. you knew what to expect when you took a bite.

“i wouldn’t do that to him.” you shook your head softly.

topper’s mouth twitched into a partial smile. his hand appeared on your shoulder before he pulled you into a hug. you hadn’t hugged topper that many times throughout your life. but this was nice. you wrapped your hands around his back, planting them flat on his shoulder blades. resting your head against his chest, you closed your eyes for a moment and just let it be.

“will you dance with me?” he asked after a long moment. you remembered where you were then, hearing the clinking glasses and loud voices.

you pulled away to look toward the party again. you spotted your father across the dance floor, no longer dancing with a pining middle aged woman. he caught your eye, a slightly raise of his eyebrows in question.

“maybe later, top.” you said and slid your arms away from him. you sent him a thankful smile as you went down the stairs to your dad.

“hey, kiddo.” your soft-spoken father said, reaching a hand toward you. you took it and let him pull you onto the dance floor for a slower song. “what’s going on?”

you looked up at his aged eyes from his plaid tie and smiled weakly. “it’s nothing, dad.”

“what’s wrong?” he prodded as your feet moved together. your father was always one to get you to talk things out, to let your feelings out. he always reminded you to just feel them, to let them come and go.

your eyes pricked with more tears and you quickly lay your head on his chest. he brushed your hair on the back of your head as you squeezed your eyes shut and begged the tears to go away. you needed to stop crying.

“i want to break up.”

“it’s okay to miss him.” you father said only for you to hear. you didn’t want to open your eyes because you knew that if you did, you’d see everyone else around you. keeping them closed and focusing on his voice kept you safe.

“i just don’t want this anymore.”

“it’s part of healing to miss him.” he continued. you tightened your arms around his shoulders, clasping your hands together.

“i still want to be friends.”

“do you miss her?” you asked, your voice cracking slightly.

“sometimes.” he answered. “but we were different than you and rafe.” he hadn’t said his name since you told him the day you got home. you felt a tear slip down your cheek. “listen, i can’t tell you how long it’s going to take, but there’s going to be a day where you won’t feel sad about it anymore. i promise you won’t feel like this forever.” he pressed a kiss to your hair. “just keep doing what you’re doing, focus on school, focus on your friends, have fun, go out and meet someone new for the night.”

if you hadn’t been crying or in your feelings you would’ve rolled your eyes and felt a little uncomfortable at your dad encouraging you to have a one-night stand. but it felt good to hear the affirmations.

“it’s okay.” he said. “it’s going to be okay.”

[thewritewolf]

Running to Catch An Airplane Trope

Adrien has lost just about everything now that his father has been unmasked as Hawkmoth. But he isn't about to lose her too. 

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Adrien watched as Nino walked up to the podium and took his diploma, to general applause and the loud cheers of his family.

His hand tightened around his own diploma. There hadn’t been much of either when Adrien walked up, the first name called.

Barely any applause. Mostly just whispers. Some worried. Some… accusing. He supposed he couldn’t blame them, after everything that had happened still so fresh in the mind of the public.

There weren’t any loud cheers from his family. Mostly because there wasn’t much of one left anyway. He’d known for years that his father would never attend something as plebeian as a high school graduation, but…

Adrien hadn’t thought it would be like this. He’d had no clue at all about any of it.

It had taken all five of them - Ladybug, Chat Noir, Carapace, Rena Rouge, even Queen Bee - but they’d finally done it. Hawkmoth and Mayura, unmasked for all the world to see. No going back, no sneaky tricks to get away from it.

The only cost? Adrien’s family. His father and Nathalie, jailed. His mother, gone for a second time. His home, leveled in the pitched battle that followed. All his life except for his heartbeat is what it took to bring Hawkmoth to justice.

His teammates still didn’t know why he’d left so quickly afterwards, how he’d immediately detransformed and broken down. For most of them, they would never know. After all, no need for the secondary heroes now that the terrible Hawkmoth had been unmasked. Paris would rest easy under Ladybug and Chat Noir’s watch.

There is more clapping and Adrien mechanically joins in, only to be startled when everyone begins standing up around him. The ceremony is over, just like his days of childhood. His classmates are chatting excitedly amongst each other as they head across the street. It takes him a moment to gather the strength to stand up, but when he does, he is surrounded by his real friends.

Nino. Alya. And…

“How are you feeling?” Marinette asked softly.

This was the worst part. It was their graduation! Everyone should be happy and celebrating and here he was, dragging down the mood with his own misery. Just like always. It wasn’t fair to them, not in the least. Swallowing his emotions, he offered a strained smile.

“I’m doing better,” he lied.

Marinette didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t say anything. Nino threw his arm around Adrien’s shoulder and they all followed after the rest of their class. For a moment, the prospect of having Dupain-Cheng pastries was almost enough to make Adrien forget it all. It was a good choice of venue for them - what better place to end their time together than the site of so many of their happiest memories?

Adrien was just about to sink his teeth into a passion fruit macaron when he started listening into what his former classmates were saying.

“-Going to school for botany, so I can open my own flower shop!” Rose said, giving Juleka a hug out of excitement.

Adrien shoved the macaron in his mouth and walked toward another part of the shop to find another. There, he overheard what Alix was saying.

“Yeah I got a plan to skate with the best in my new university. Gonna try to keep the family tradition of historians alive since clearly big bro ain’t up to it with all his conspiracy stuff. But that doesn't mean I gotta be a stick in the mud about it.”

Eventually, Adrien found a place in a corner, a good ways away from the rest of his friends. Some of them cast glances his way, but no one made a move to talk to him. What could they say anyway? ‘Sorry your dad was the magic terrorist that turned every single one of us into super villains at one point or another?’

And he certainly wasn’t about to approach them either. Not if they were going to be talking about the future. They all sounded so hopeful and excited, he didn’t want to bring them down with his uncertainty.

Having his entire life charted out in meticulous, color-coded detail, he wasn’t very confident in his own planning abilities. Even in his superhero career he was more often than not following someone else’s plan. What was he going to do with his life now, when even his superheroics weren’t necessary?

The party was still going on when Adrien sneaked out. He was sure nobody would miss him from there. No doubt the mood might even lighten once he was gone. Nino and Marinette would at least have a better time now that he wasn’t bringing everything down.

The only good thing he could say about his father now was that at least he’d actually paid Adrien for his modeling. Even if Adrien only recently got access to that bank account, it meant that he could afford a house to rent now that his childhood home was cinders.

Turning the lights on as he entered, he shuffled over to the television and hesitated. He used to like turning it on to have some background noise, but it was hard to escape the news about his family these days. Backing away from the TV, he opted instead to turn on a music playlist.

Adrien collapsed onto the couch, the weight of his loneliness bearing down on him now more than ever. Maybe he could have handled everything else, but on top of all of it, the defeat of Hawkmoth meant that Ladybug had basically gone off the grid. No akuma battles, no late night patrols.

His mind wandered - Where was Ladybug? What she was doing?

--------------

Long after the party had died down, Marinette went up to her room and pulled out a letter that she had hidden away months ago. It almost felt like another lifetime when she had sent out that application. She had sent it not because she had intended to go but because it was something she was expected to do.

Someone like her, with her hopes and dreams worn on her sleeve since she was twelve, didn’t just ‘forget’ to send out her university applications. It would’ve looked suspicious. So she sent the letters, knowing in her heart that she would never be able to leave Paris because walking away from it would mean leaving it defenseless.

But now the danger was gone. She didn’t need to protect her beloved city anymore.

Holding the acceptance letter to a semester long fashion internship in Milan, her heart pounded in excitement. After so long, she could finally start living her life again.

--------------------

There weren’t a lot of people left in Adrien’s life.

He’d never been super close to most of his classmates, so that wasn’t a huge loss to him. But the retiring of most of the super hero team, plus Nino, Alya, and Marinette being super busy these days did cut deep.

But, as he leapt from rooftop to rooftop as Chat Noir, he reflected that at least he had Ladybug. Getting a call from her out of the blue was surprising, but he jumped at the chance to see her again after the maddening quiet of the last couple months.

A part of him was worried, however. Why did she want to see him? Ladybug didn’t do anything without good reason. And what good reasons were there left for them in a post-Hawkmoth world? Did she want his miraculous…? His hand brushed over his ring. No, she would never. She knew how much being Chat Noir meant to him. Besides, if she wanted to disband all of them, she would’ve taken his ring along with the other miraculous.

Heart pounding for more reasons than one, Chat Noir landed on their favorite meeting spot in one of the towers of Notre Dame. As he spots her iconic red and black outfit, he pushes aside his worries. Everything else aside, Ladybug was here - that alone was a huge load of his shoulders.

She turns around at the sound of his boots landing on the ground.

“Just the cat I was waiting on,” she said with a smile.

“I hope I didn’t keep such a beautiful woman waiting for long,” Chat replied, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to it. “What’s up, bugaboo?”

“I’ll get right to the point, chaton.” Ladybug took a deep breath. “I’m going to be going away for a few months. I got an internship in Milan. I’ll be leaving next week.”

His heart dropped and he took both of her hands in his. Eyes locked onto their interlocked hands, he murmured, “Lovebug, I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it that long…”

She freed one hand to cup his chin, pushing it up until they were looking eye to eye. There was a soft but sad smile on her face.

“I know its a whole new world for us, and I’m sure its been rough for you. So I’ll make you a promise-”

“A purromise?” He punned half-heartedly.

“...sure, a purromise,” she replied. “The first time I see you after I get back, chaton, we'll blow this whole thing wide open.”

He frowned. She couldn’t mean…?

“We'll reveal our identities, I swear." To prove her sincerity, she held out her pinky.

“But… why can’t we do that now?”

"To give you something to look forward to, of course," she said with a smile. “So what do you say?”

Staring at her pinky for a long time, he eventually grabbed it with his own pinky. The promise had been made.

They chatted for a little while after that, but eventually Ladybug had to leave. People would notice she was missing if she was gone for too long.

Chat watched her leave, turning into a dot on the horizon. After all, who was going to notice, even if he was out for an hour more?

-------------

The days run by, lost in a blur of video games and books and other distractions that kept him in his room. There was no Nathalie to force him into his usual activities. No father to breathe down his neck. Just him slowly losing track of time as the days ticked past, unnoticed by Adrien. He didn’t even realize it was the day that Ladybug had said she was going to be leaving for Milan until his phone lit up for the first time in days.

It was Nino, of course. He was practically the only one calling him these days, except for the group chats that he was in. And even then, the last few calls had been a bit of a blur, running on autopilot like he was.

Adrien answers the phone. “Hey, bro, what’s up?”

“More like - what’s out? And the answer is me. I’m outside. Open the door, my bro.”

Nino hung up, leaving Adrien to blink in the darkness of his living room, illuminated only by the light of his paused game. Standing up, he rushed over to the door and opened it a crack. Sure enough, Nino was standing there.

“‘Sup dude?” He pushed open the door, letting the sunlight filter into Adrien’s house for the first time in days. Nino scrunched up his eyebrows in concern. “T-shirt and sweatpants this late in the day, my dude? You feelin’ alright?”

“Same as usual, I guess,” Adrien said with a shrug. “What’s the occasion?”

Nino let himself in and pulled open Adrien’s curtains. “Don’t really need one to hang with my best bro, do I?” He saw Adrien’s face. “Okay, okay, so I needed some time outta the house. Can you blame me? With everything going down with Marinette, I could use some space away from that bummer fest to take my mind off things.”

“Things going down with Marinette?” Adrien asked. Did something happen?

“Yeah man, Alya was a wreck last night. We helped Marinette pack up and honestly, watching those two say goodbye just about made me tear up." Nino tugged at his cap, getting ragged from the years.

Adrien takes a moment to shake off the gray stupor that's been hanging over him for months, that had been doubled because of Ladybug’s absence.

“Uh... what? Is Marinette going somewhere?” That is someone he should make more effort to keep in touch with, if he's being honest with himself. Maybe once she comes back from her vacation or whatever, they can get coffee.

"Dude, you never listen to anything I say anymore,” Nino said, clicking his tongue and rolling his eyes disapprovingly. “I know it's tough with your dad and all, dude, but you've got to get out of your own head. Marinette's leaving."

"What? Leaving? Like, leaving leaving?"

"Might as well be, dude. She's getting on a plane this afternoon and not coming back for 6 months." Adrien got stuck by deja vu. Something about that time frame sounds familiar... "She wanted me to tell you she'll miss you while she's gone."

"I... can't believe I didn't say goodbye. Where is she going? Why is she going?" He’s more alert than he has been for months. He took a seat next to Nino, leaning forward a little as he hung on Nino’s words.

"A sweet fashion internship dude. Way over in Milan."

And it clicks. Internship. Milan. The whole semester. There’s no way… it can’t be a coincidence.

If Adrien is wrong, he doesn't lose anything. He'll see his lady and his friend when they both return. But if he's right - and he's got to be right! - then she's gone. She's gone and he won't get to say goodbye, to tell her that he loves her, that he's always loved her.

Nino's still chatting away in the background, "...and to be honest, I'm surprised she didn't come see you before she left. Alya said she wanted to clear the air about that massive crush she had on you in high school-"

"I'm sorry WHAT?" Adrien tries and fails to keep his voice level.

Nino raises his eyebrows. "Dude, I thought you knew by now.” He shakes his head. “Everybody knew."

That raises far too many questions for Adrien’s liking, but he is too focused to be sidetracked now. He leans into Nino’s space, clarity in his eyes for the first time in a long time, one question on his mind.

"When does her plane leave?"

"What? Like in, an hour or so, dude.” Nino’s eyes widened as he realizes what Adrien might be planning. “But there's no way-"

"-igottagoniceseeingyouninobye!"

Adrien throws on a pair of converse sneakers, tongues sticking out in his haste out the door, untied laces flying. Nino is shouting something behind him, but Adrien doesn’t have the time to listen. Once he was out of his friend’s line of sight, he transformed and ran. He runs faster than he ever had in his entire life, his rooftop blurring under his feet as they carried him across the city.

He can't believe it took all this for him to figure it out. At this point, he doesn't care that she might reject him. The only thing that matters is that he has to know for sure. Nothing was more important to him in this moment than to look in those bluebell eyes and tell her he's figured it out. Figured her out.

He can't have her disappear for six months and forget about him. About what they could be.

Getting to the airport took longer than expected. Getting across the whole of Paris wasn’t easy, but he did it. Even if he had to stop way outside his destination to detransform. Nothing was about to stop him. Not even his own body, wheezing and protesting the sudden activity after a summer of slacking could slow him down. There was something more powerful than muscle and sinew at work here.

The airport was busy and Adrien froze at the front door, catching more than a few odd looks from people. He didn’t have any time to spare for them, however. His eyes, his heart, were too busy frantically searching the crowd for just the barest sign of her. Despair that he was too late had begun to lace its tendrils around his heart when the crowd parted for a split second.

He saw her.

Not just Marinette, in a cute floral summer dress, hair tied back and lugging her bags behind her.

No. In that half of a moment, he saw Ladybug and Marinette as one. The strength behind her eyes, the determined squaring of her shoulders even though he knew she was scared. If he had any doubts before, they were gone like mist before the sun. He was only barely aware of himself bolting towards her, parting the crowd in front of him to a tune of a host of disgruntled French travelers.

His hand snags her wrist just before she reaches the security checkpoint. She turns, part of surprise, part out of curiosity. Her eyes widen when she sees him, but he doesn’t have the chance to savor it. He’s already pulled her into a hug, pouring all the love he’s bottled up inside himself into it.

Hand cradling her head, his mouth close to her ear, he can barely manage to pant out a few words, the exhaustion of pressing himself so hard so fast finally catching up with him.

"M'lady.... princess....found you..."

In a voice so quiet only his senses, made keen by years of using the black cat miraculous, can make out, she whispered, “...Chaton?”

He grins, gasping, and nods. Her eyes tear up and she hugs him back twice as hard. "How did you know?"

"Internship in Milan. Had to say goodbye. Had to tell you...Mari, I love you."

She's stunned for a moment, and pulls back to look him in the face. Matching her gaze, he feels himself falling inescapably into those bright blue eyes. He never thought he could fall even more in love, but today seemed to be the day for revelations. The moment broke only when she rolled forward on her tiptoes, placed her arms around his neck for leverage, and pressed her lips to his.

Time began again when a booming voice called out a flight number overhead. Marinette, kiss-drunk, pulled back and bit her lip, making Adrien’s heart do a backflip.

“That’s mine.” She pouts, then brightens and smirks, "You know, I hear Milan is lovely this time of year. You should come visit me sometime, Mr. Moneybags."

-------------------

Two months later

Adrien rose with the sun, one of the few habits from his teenage years he’d never managed to shake off. Marinette was a few rooms over, taking the guest bedroom of his Italian villa while they lived in Milan. He started to make breakfast.

It wasn’t a miraculous cure - their relationship, her being here with him. His life was still in shambles. There were moments where he couldn’t be strong. He still felt lost most of the time.

But she was a constant. He could build a life around her - together. She was there when he needed to be weak. And her steady determination that he’d find his way was more often than not enough to ground him.

He put his breakfast on a plate and left Marinette’s on the kitchen counter, knowing the smell would do more to coax her out of bed than any amount of knocking or reminders. In the meantime, he pulled out his laptop to get a head start on his online class work for the day. It was just general requirements, but it gave him time to test the waters, see what he liked and what he didn’t.

No matter what, though, he knew she was going to be there every step of the way, cheering him on just like he knew he would be right there for her. A perfect team, just like they’d always been.

Yesterday was rough. Today would be better. And tomorrow? Adrien smiled as he heard Marinette's morning grumblings down the hall. Tomorrow shone bright with possibilities for both of them.

[guigz1-coldwar]

"Only for the greater good..." : one-shot

"Only for the greater good..."

Plot Summary : Lazar was saved at the last moment before the Tropas could make the last move and the CIA is ready to send him back home......

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3300

Warning : Angst

------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were no good choices in that situation....

And basically no one did expect this to happen in reality. No one managed to know in advance that an soldier carrying an RPG will strike your position and send you fly away with your friends at the same time....no one....Bell was the only one hooked to the ballon which is the only way for all of them to leave this place behind them before they got all knocked down. Bell....when she woke up, she could see two of the closest person she has know for days...the two badly in shape and unable to do an thing.

At her right, there was Park....her lover, the one that she has been happy with and the only person besides Lazar to recomfort Bell at her bad times since she has got some depression in the early days. Park was the first person Bell saw when she opened her eyes again, she couldn't feel her legs and she was so bad right now. Never Bell saw her like that and it was so hurting her. She couldn't let her like that but Lazar was there too.

Lazar...he was like the guy who was acting like the big brother of Bell, giving her some advices to stay well and to say, it's thanks to him that Bell was able to share her feelings to Park. He couldn't remember the countless times that he had to talk with Bell, to 'open your heart to the people you're caring about' as a big advice that stayed in Bell's head since he told her that. Seeing him like that....it was breaking her too. Why the destiny has to wound the two closest friends she got ?

Bell took a deep breath before she start to crawl into Park's direction, she wanted to secure her first before getting Lazar in safety too. Once she was finished with Park, Bell moved her hand towards Lazar but a loud noise came in....the sound of an cargo plane coming in and when Bell & Lazar saw it, they tried their best to make it out quick but....it was too late, the plane was already too close...and it took Park & Bell away....leaving Lazar....

When he saw them getting off the ground, he....he wasn't angry at all, no one of the three could have know that the plane was already coming in, ready to bring everyone home & to safety. He know that Bell wasn't the one to put the blame on, there were no good choice to make here....Bell tried her best to save everyone but she couldn't do it. If that plane didn't came quickly, everyone would have been saved, the blame is to put on the pilots....or the whole disaster called an mission.

As he look at the skies, seeing the plane getting away, he heard some shouting coming towards his direction, cuban ones. He took an look around, trying to find his gun to defend himself but it was too far for him and it was broken in half and his pistol, it was in his holster but he would have been too slow to react. He couldn't move his legs and he turned to look at the direction where the shouting was. Two cubans soldiers arrived with their guns, ready to blast them and Lazar, knowing that they will shot him at sight and with nothing to help him, he closed his eyes, already accepting his fate.

Then, he heard multiple shots but there were something strange because....he was still thinking, hearing sounds, meaning that those gunshots weren't for him but he was still afraid to open his eyes, fearing that death wanted him to look at it before he resigned himself to open them, discovering in fact 2 CIA soldiers arriving at the scene, having killed the two cuban soldiers by behind.

"He's alive !" One of them said to his friend, pointing at Lazar's direction as he lowered his gun before he walked quickly to get to Lazar. "You're alright ?" He asked rhetorically as he was seeing the shape of Lazar's clothes, the man was named Walker as we could see his name on his outfit

"I....I'm well, I think." Lazar replied as he was pretty much troubled to have been actually saved at the last moment, he moved his hands towards his chest and tapping over it, he really wanted to see that he was still alive. "Yeah, I'm alive." He added, sounding so happy that it was real with an smile before looking at Walker again.

"Safe and clear, Lazar." Walker said, everyone was knowing Lazar in the teams that was assigned on the mission, he was seen as an good soldier....an good man. "You got lucky that we showed up to say." He stated as they did really stepped just before the Tropas were able to deal with Lazar.

"Yeah, I can say that." Lazar put his left hand behind his head, scratching it as he look at the other soldier that was checking if the cubans soldiers they just killed were really dead or just playing because as we know, they're always coming back....."Damnit, I thought it was over." He whispered to himself.

"Not with us." Walker exclaimed as he got up, offering his hands to Lazar to get him up. "Come on, let's go back home, Laz'" He told him, sounding relieved.

"Shit, my leg." Lazar groaned as he tried to move his left leg to get up, still hurting him an lot, causing him to return back to his former position. His right leg was getting better but it has seen better day to be honest.

"Fuck, didn't think of it." Walker breathed before he look back to his friend that was finished to check the bodies. "Dan, you got any morphine with you ?" He asked.

"Yeap, got this." Dan responded as he start to check his outfit before finding an syringue of it and then, he walked to get to Lazar & Walker, giving it to the latter.

"Okay, that's might gonna hurt." Walker told Lazar who nodded in approval as Dan stayed next to him in case that he passed out from his wounds. Lazar took an deep breath before Walker injected him with the syringue right into the left leg, making Lazar moaned a little, closing his mouth. "Morphine is gonna do the job for the moment, doctor will check you up once we got back to the runway." Walker added as they didn't have any equipment for that, morphine was going to help Lazar for an while until he need to be fully healed. "You're good ?"

"Yeah, I'm alright." Lazar answered, feeling the morphine in his left leg, it was necessary and useful.

"Good, let's get the hell out of here before more Cubans showed up." Dan exclaimed as him & Walker help Lazar to get back on his feets, staying next to him as the three of them started to walk away from the scene, Lazar feeling so free to be alive and well.

Those three were the only person still alive in the whole compound and they needed to move fast as the Cubans were going to send more reinforcements into that place, wanting to know why an abandoned place like this became an terrible bloodbath with CIA agents, scientists and also Tropas bodies all around the place. Good people fall today and the three could see the extend of their actions today, passing through some bodies of their own guys.

Finally, the three managed to take an pick-up, getting Lazar behind it before they drove off the place to get back to the meeting point where everyone has been ordered to go once the mission was done and if they weren't able to extract properly from the place : a small CIA clandestine runway just at 20 miles at the west of the Perseus complex, almost near to the sea. It was sure that even if some were saved today, that mission was an disaster...

Lazar was looking up at the skies, thinking that Park & Bell are safe back at the meeting point and for him, it was the best thing he would like to see. Even if he knew of Bell's true identity, he always saw her as one of their owns....an good russian to be honest. A very good woman who is kind and careful with the others. During the drive, he could realize how much Bell saw him as an brother she never had, making him fall some tears to think about it.....she's an good woman....

After minutes of long driving and thinking about the future, the trio arrived at the runway where they were likely awaited by the others, the same cargo plane that took Park & Bell was there and Lazar was happy to see it, knowing that the two were safe. Lazar's leg was feeling so much better and he could left the pick-up by his own but he know that he was going to be temporary. When he put his feets on his ground, he could see Russell Adler himself, coming towards the group.

"Gentlemen." Adler started, saluting Walker & Dan before the two walk away, going to help the crew that was refueling the plane for another flight, leaving Lazar alone with Adler himself. "Lazar."

"Adler." Lazar breathed as he wasn't so pleased to have an talk with Adler after all these days of lies to Bell about her identity, he wasn't liking it at all and he know well of Adler's sicken mind for the mission, it was making him sick to work with that man.

"I heard that you weren't able to hook yourself to the ballon." Adler told him, offering his hand to Lazar but the latter wasn't so willing to do so before he resigned himself to do it. "It's good to see you alive." He affirmed as the two shook hands.

"Well, I thought that it was over...an fucking RPG struck us and Bell was going to help me until the plane come too quickly." Lazar exclaimed as he took an look to the plane, hoping to see Park & Bell. "Where are they by the way ?" He asked Adler who does the same thing.

"The two ?" Adler started, taking an cigarette out of one of his pockets before lighting it up in front of Lazar. "Both were knocked out by the force of the plane taking them away from the compound, they're both trying to recover slowly but Bell is the one I'm worried about." He finally replied, putting his cigarette between his lips.

"Why not Park ?" Lazar crossed his arms towards Adler, raising an eyebrow.

"Bell has became our only lead to Perseus and if she's not recovering fast, Perseus will win." He sniffed, blowing some smoke from his mouth, completely avoiding Lazar's question by saying something else, Adler's priority was always about the mission, not about the people. "Park....well, she's not important here right now." He added, shaking his head to look around him, seeing the multiple agents recovering from their wounds or going inside the plane.

"And where's Woods & Mason ?" Lazar questioned him as he thought that the two were with Adler during the mission, they should be here.

"I told them to left Cuba in the first plane, it's just us now awaiting for the plane to be good to go." Adler answered, rolling his eyes behind the sunglasses he was wearing, the same one he's always wearing. Everyone back at the safehouse was thinking that Adler & Hudson were playing a game to see which one will crack to take off his sunglasses first but no one did.....must be something else then...."They're going to go to Washington first, I don't want them around when we will have to interrogate Bell." He proclaimed as he didn't want to have Mason or Woods or the both to punch him once the truth was revealed.

"One day, they will have to know !" Lazar bit the left part of his lips before he scratch the space between his nose and his lips.

"Maybe...." Adler whispered, taking an breath.

"Good, now I can...." Lazar started to said while walking before Adler stop him in his tracks, putting his hands in front of Lazar's chest.

"Wait." Adler slowly moved his head around to look at Lazar in the eyes. "The two of us...we need to talk." He said, looking dead serious right now like he's always been but it was an different 'dead serious' feeling right now.

"So, talk." Lazar raised his eyebrow to Adler.

"No....not here." Adler looked around him, seeing all of those people before he removed his hand from Lazar's chest. "Follow me, it's serious." He ordered as he start to walk away from the runway, his cigarette in mouth.

Honestly, Lazar could have say 'fuck off' to Adler's face and go inside the plane to find Park & Bell again, surprising them because he didn't want to have Bell feeling guilty to have left him in that compound but there were something that was saying to Lazar that he should follow Adler and that feeling did became strong. So, he took an deep breath and then, he started to move with Adler himself and to be honest, he couldn't know himself why he was doing it.

Adler was always an mysterious guy even to the people he was working for years and Lazar was like one of them...In fact, everyone was seeing Adler as the mysterious & dark CIA agent called the 'America's Monster' by his own colleagues and some of his own enemies themselves. Lazar was following the guy on an dirt path until they arrived in an point of view overlooking the sea, it was an nice place to say.

"Caribbean's air, clears the air, doesn't it ?" Adler stated as he was arriving to the end of the path, taking an quick look to Lazar, him stopping himself to look at Adler a few meters from him.

"Yeah, I can say that." Lazar affirmed, grinning to feel the hot air on his skin, the place was looking fine, he looked again in the skies, astonished by the place.

"Today, you put quite an move and I'm pretty amazed." Adler told him, taking his cigarette in hand, turning around to face entirely Lazar, staying at his position. "The thing that we're doing with Bell, it was always for the greater good !" He sniffed, taking an look around.

"I'm not sure of it, thinking as an normal person." Lazar scoffed even if Bell's situation wasn't funny at all to laugh about, he started to look at Adler with suspicious eyes. "You always justifying your crimes 'the greater good' ?" He asked him directly like that.

"Yes, I'm crossing the line to make sure that it's still there the next day." Adler replied, sure of his own words and making Lazar more disgusted to look at him in the eyes....they were talking about an human being transformed by the CIA like an tool. "I'm not allowing zero fuck-ups in here but someone is not staying well in line." Adler affirmed before pointing at Lazar.

"Me ?" Lazar breathed, poking at himself.

"Don't bullshit me, Laz'" Adler raised his voice against Lazar, sounding almost angry. "I know that you're trying to tip off the MI6 about the Greenlight bombs." He told him clearly as Lazar was, with Park & Bell, the only person that was for alerting everyone about Greenlight but Adler never wanted this to happen. "You don't realize the danger of it."

"Perseus has his hands on it and we can't alert anyone ?" Lazar exclaimed, confused that Adler wasn't seeing things right. "Everyone needs to know...."

"No one needs to know !" Adler cut him straight, dropping his cigarette at his feets. "No one need to know that the CIA has put bombs below European cities." He added, half-turning around to look at the sea.

"And why that ? For national security ? Your greater good ?" Lazar demanded, angry.

"Yes." Adler answered harshly. "If everyone know, it will be like the same reaction if Perseus detonate those nukes." He put his hands on his waist, shaking his head as he was trying to reason Lazar for good. "Everyone would be hating the US, that's exactly what Perseus want."

"It's always has been the CIA in control but they have to be helped by their allies !" Lazar admitted, trying to reason Adler too.

"Allies ?" Adler raised an eyebrow, looking stunned. "The CIA is mostly using everyone in here : Park ? She's just there because I was 'advised' to make an team composed of West agents and I despite her." He proclaimed and Lazar didn't know why he didn't directly throw an punch to his guy face. "In the end, it's only for the greater good."

"You know that you didn't change my mind." Lazar told him, pointing at him but he wasn't looking anymore at Lazar.

"I know." Adler snorted before he removed his hands from his waist, smiling at Lazar. "I didn't make the right choice to brought you here but...." He then suddenly took his pistol in his right hand, hidden from Lazar's sight even if he was able to see it an little. "It became personal !" Then, the two drawed their guns at the same time...Lazar should have know that Adler was planning something against him and he had to make an stand.

An bullet came out....only one....and unfortunately, it was coming out from Adler's gun, flying straight to land between Lazar's eyes who immediately fall back on the ground, an shocked expression on his face, he never thought that one of his own was going to kill him like that and even, why would someone from his side was going to shoot him. He could have died in that compound but Adler make things worst.

As he looked at Lazar's dead body up close, Adler decided literally to pull two others bullets inside Lazar : the first one landing in his shoulder exactly at where the heart was and the second, back into his head, he wanted to make sure that he was really dead. He didn't feel an thing when he pulled the trigger....not an goddamn thing.....like an fucking monster he is right now.

"You could have let him die in there." Adler suggested as he heard some footsteps behind him and when he turned around, he saw Walker, the man who has saved Lazar.

"We prefered that you deal with him personally, sir." Walker said, sure of him.....those bastards wanted to let Lazar die today....everyone was seeing Lazar now as an traitor for Adler and they were all blinded by their loyalties to him. "Now, what's happening ?" He asked Adler.

"You're gonna wait for another plane to get you and the remaining guys, you're going to bring Lazar's body with you and if someone in my team ask, tell them that Lazar died at that compound." Adler replied, sniffing at the sight of Lazar's body....he was looking so disgusted by seeing him. "I'm sure that he will go home well....he died like an hero, doesn't it ?" He suggested and Walker nodded.

"Well, we could have let him rot to die but with you, it's better." Walker said, enthusiastic.

"Good, I'm going back to West-Berlin to break our asset down." Adler snorted, taking an last look at the place. "You know what to do now." He added before he start to walk away from the scene, leaving Walker alone to deal with Lazar's body.

On his way back to the plane, Adler wasn't feeling an goddamn thing about shooting Lazar dead. His team....he always saw them as his damn pawns, he was the master of everyone in that safehouse : Bell, Park, Sims, Lazar, Woods & Mason.....they were all his pawns and they were unaware of it. He was controlling everyone, the CIA has his back and he's got unlimited power to act. Lazar was just, for him, an bad pawn that was needed to be neutralized and he did it for the 'greater good' like he use to defend himself and his crimes. The others, he's sure that he will have to neutralize them because they know too much about everything about him & Perseus. He will never feel an thing....he never did actually feel something.....

He was the America's Monster...and he was seeing himself as the master of his pawns.

[ireadyabooks]

Books to Read in 2021

It’s a NEW YEAR, everyone! 

We made it through 2020, and whether or not you hit your reading goal this past year, don’t worry! 2021 is a new year for your TBR, and we have an AMAZING line-up of books you should add to your reading list ASAP.

THE LIFE I’M IN 

This story of the power of forgiveness and second chances presents the unflinching story of a young woman trapped in the underworld of human trafficking. In Sharon G. Flake's latest and unflinching novel, we follow Charlese Jones, who, with her raw, blistering voice speaks the truths many girls face, offering insight to some of the causes and conditions that make a bully. Turned out of the only home she has known, Char boards a bus to nowhere where she is lured into the dangerous web of human trafficking.

HOLD BACK THE TIDE

A darkly seductive story of murder, betrayal, love, and family secrets in a small town in the Scottish Highlands. Alva knows that her father killed her mother, but she can’t prove it. The more she investigates though, the more she realizes that the truth can be more monstrous than lies/ And while you might be able to outrun anything that emerges from the dark water, you can never escape your past . . .

MUTED 

Denver is more than ready on the day she and her best friends Dali and Shak sing their way into the orbit of the biggest R&B star in the world, Sean "Mercury" Ellis. Merc gives them everything: parties, perks, wild nights -- plus hours and hours in the recording studio. Even the painful sacrifices and the lies the girls have to tell are all worth it. Until they're not. Denver begins to realize that she's trapped in Merc's world, struggling to hold on to her own voice. As the dream turns into a nightmare, she must make a choice: lose her big break, or get broken.

THE POETRY OF SECRETS

A lyrical portrait of hidden identities and forbidden love set against the harrowing backdrop of the Spanish Inquisition. Isabel’s dreams to pursue poetry and a partner of her own choosing are thrown into jeopardy when the Spanish Inquisition reaches her small town. 

SHURI #2: THE VANISHED 

Shuri, the Princess of Wakanda (and sister to the Black Panther), sets out to save a group of kidnapped girls in this all-new, original novel by New York Times bestselling author Nic Stone!

BRIDGE OF SOULS

Where there are ghosts, Cassidy Blake follows . . .unless it's the other way around? Cass thinks she might have this ghost-hunting thing down. But nothing can prepare Cass for New Orleans, which wears all of its hauntings on its sleeve. And the city's biggest surprise is a foe Cass never expected to face: a servant of Death itself.

FOLLOW YOUR ARROW

When bisexual influencer CeCe breaks up with her girlfriend, Silvie, she’s devastated. But then she starts falling for a new guy who has no idea she’s internet famous...and CeCe wants to keep it that way. But as her secrets catch up to her, she finds herself in the middle of an online storm, where she'll have to confront the blurriness of public vs. private life, and figure out what it really means to speak her truth.   

MIRROR’S EDGE

The danger rises and the deception grows in the heart-stopping third book in the New York Times bestselling Impostors series! Are twins Frey and Rafi on the same side . . . or are they playing to their own agendas? If their father is deposed from Shreve, who will take control? And what other forces may be waiting in the wings?

ZARA HOSSAIN IS HERE

Zara's family has waited years for their visa process to be finalized so that they can officially become US citizens. While dealing with the Islamophobia that she faces at school, Zara has to lay low. But when her tormentor vandalizes her house with racist graffiti, a violent crime puts Zara’s entire future at risk. Now she must pay the ultimate price and choose between fighting to stay in the only place she's ever called home or losing the life she loves and everyone in it.

REMEDY

It's a mystery - why is Cara so sick? It feels like she's been sick all her life . . . but she and her mom have never stayed in one place long enough for doctors to really understand what's happening to her. Now, at fourteen, Cara is tired of being tired, and sick of being sick. Unable to afford the care she needs, Cara's mom starts a Caring for Cara campaign online. The money starts pouring in. But something's not right to Cara. And the harder she looks, the less she understands.

HEARTSTOPPER VOLUME 3

The third volume in the poignant and sweet Heartstopper series, featuring beautiful two-color artwork! Charlie didn't think Nick could ever like him back, but now they're officially boyfriends. Nick has even found the courage to come out to his mom. But coming out isn't something that happens just once, and Nick and Charlie try to figure out when to tell their friends that they're dating. Not being out to their classmates gets even harder during a school trip to Paris. As Nick and Charlie's feelings get more serious, they'll need each other more than ever.

THE BLOCK

In the second book of The Loop trilogy, Luka is trapped in a fate worse than death. But now that he knows the truth about what he and his fellow inmates are being used for, it's more important than ever that he not only escapes, but that he builds an army.

ON THE HOOK

Hector has always minded his own business while he works towards a better life. Until Joey, whose older brother, Chavo, is head of the Discípulos gang, tells Hector that he's going to kill him: maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday. And Hector, frozen with fear, does nothing. From that day forward, Hector's death is hanging over his head every time he leaves the house. But when a fight between Chavo and Hector's brother escalates, Hector is left with no choice but to take a stand. It's up to Hector to choose whether he's going to lose himself to revenge or get back to the hard work of living.

MISTER IMPOSSIBLE

Do the dreamers need the ley lines to save the world . . . or will their actions end up dooming the world? As Ronan, Hennessy, and Bryde try to make dreamers more powerful, the Moderators are closing in, sure that this power will bring about disaster. In the remarkable second book of The Dreamer Trilogy, Maggie Stiefvater pushes her characters to their limits – and shows what happens to them and others when they start to break.

THE GHOSTS WE KEEP 

Everything happens for a reason.At least that's what everyone keeps telling Liam Cooper after his older brother Ethan is killed suddenly in a hit-and-run. Feeling more alone and isolated than ever, Liam has to not only learn to face the world without one of the people he loved the most, but also face the fading relationships of his two best friends in the process. Soon, Liam finds themself spending time with Ethan's best friend, Marcus, who might just be the only person that seems to know exactly what they're going through - for better and for worse.

SIMONE BREAKS ALL THE RULES

Simone is shaking things up by making a bucket list of everything she hasn’t been able to do thanks to her strict Haitian immigrant parents. But as the list takes on a life of its own, things get much more complicated than Simone expected. She'll have to discover which rules are worth breaking, and which might save her from heartbreak.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

Skylar is ready to show everyone that her latest app is brilliant by winning an academic competition. To do that, she's going to use it to win State at the Scholastic Exposition, the nerdiest academic competition around. But when she falls for one of her team members and things get complicated, is her path to greatness over before it begins?

THE GIRL FROM THE SEA

A graphic novel about family, romance, and first love! Morgan's biggest secret is that she has a lot of secrets, including the one about wanting to kiss another girl. Then one night, Morgan is saved from drowning by a mysterious girl named Keltie. The two become friends and suddenly life on the island doesn't seem so stifling anymore. But Keltie has some secrets of her own. And as the girls start to fall in love, everything they're each trying to hide will find its way to the surface...whether Morgan is ready or not.

RISE TO THE SUN

Three days. Two girls. One life-changing music festival. Toni is reeling in the wake of the loss of her roadie father and desperate to figure out where her life will go from here. Olivia is a hopeless romantic whose heart has just taken a beating (again). When the two collide at the Farmland Music and Arts Festival, it feels like kismet. But when something goes wrong and the festival is sent into a panic, Toni and Olivia find that they need each other, and the music, more than they ever imagined.

YOU & ME AT THE END OF THE WORLD

Hannah Ashton wakes up to silence. The entire city around her is empty, except for one other person: Leo Sterling. Leo might be the hottest boy ever (and not just because he's the only one left), but he's also too charming, too selfish, and too devastating for his own good, let alone Hannah's. Together, they search for answers amid crushing isolation. But while their empty world may appear harmless . . . it's not. Because nothing is quite as it seems, and if Hannah and Leo don't figure out what's going on, they might just be torn apart forever.

IN THE SAME BOAT 

Sadie is ready for the race of a lifetime: The Texas River Odyssey. But then her brother ditches her and she has to pair up with her former best friend, Cully. It's irritating enough that he grew up to be so attractive, but once they're on the river it turns out he's ill-prepared for such a dangerous race. But as the miles pass, the pain of the race builds, they uncover the truth about their feuding families, and Sadie's feelings for Cully begin to shift. Could this race change her life more than she ever could have imagined?

THE GREAT DESTROYERS 

In this alternate-history novel, Jo joins the Pax Games: an Olympics-style competition that pits pilots of mechas against each other. But when fighters start dying in the arena, Jo is drawn into a deadly political plot. In a global arms race between superpowers, playing out in violent games that only humanity could create, comes a chilling story of clashing titans, ruthless competition, freedom, and the girl caught in the middle of it all.

[not-from-the-absence-of-violence]

I exist as I am

it is yet again @jonnitweek time :D 

Day 4 - identity / fluff

Jonnit and their relationship with gender.

Jonnit sat at a table, breakfast among the crew these days was somewhat tense with their new status and the captain's death looming over their shoulders.

Dref didn’t like eating around other people so he had gone and locked himself in his own office to eat, Travis was sitting in front of him, he looked generally annoyed at the world while he ate his breakfast.

Gable arrived a few moments later, having gotten no food for themself as they usually stole from Travis, who always grabbed way too much.

“Hello Jonnit,” they said cheerfully, Jonnit smiled back, then they said “Travis.” who gave them a bleary glare.

They sat down next to him and in practiced familiarity went to grab Travis' mug.

He swatted at their hand like an annoyed cat. “That’s heartroot,” he said pointedly. “Which if you want you are going to have to blend yourself I’m afraid.”

They don’t seem at all surprised by this, just seem annoyed that they will have to get their own drinks later.

Jonnit stares at him, he has heard of heartroot before of course, it’s one of those things that he is aware of but has never actually thought about.

“You drink heartroot?” Jonnit asks in genuine curiosity.

Travis smirks. “Sometimes,” he says, “staying the same for so long would just be dreadfully boring don’t you think?”

Gable shakes their head a little. “I feel like you aren’t explaining this right.”

“Well how would you put it then?”

They seem to pause for a second. “You humans and your gender,” they say, then stare at Jonnit, “I’ve certainly never gotten it.”

And Jonnit thought he did, right up until that point where he wasn’t sure actually. He hadn’t grown up particularly sheltered, there are however things that you just don’t question, corsairs were generally a lot more free, and glamorous, in their expression.

-

“Dref, how does heartroot work?” Jonnit said as he was sitting on a desk in his office as Dref worked methodically to clean some equipment.

“I-It’s not s-something I’m an ex- xpert in b-but,” they say, turning to look at Jonnit, there is a bright slightly nervous energy about the way he kicks his legs, “It’s d-definitely m- magic.”

Jonnit rolled his eyes without malice. “I get that.”

Dref can’t help but smile at him. “I h-have p-ersonally n-never t-taken it.”

“I think i get how it works, i meant more in a,” he said and vaguely waved his arms around, “how do you know you want it, I guess?”

Jonnit seems lost in his thoughts for a moment and Dref wishes he knew better how to verbalize his own feelings, he hasn’t taken heartroot no, this doesn’t mean they don’t understand the anxious curiosity practically radiating from Jonnit.

“N-not everyone who f-feels d-different t-takes heartroot,” they tried. “B-but some p-people feel their b-body doesn’t align w-with who they are.”

Jonnit hummed impatiently. “But how do you know.”

“Experimentation? Often t-there is m-more to ex-xploring g-gender.”

Jonnit seems content with that answer, a small smile on his face as he stares at the wall. “Sure okay.” he flashes a smile at Dref, “Thanks, man.”

“Any t-time.” Dref says and they lapse back into comfortable silence as Jonnit ponders and Dref works.

-

Celebrations are always big on the Uhuru, the sound of music and laughter filling the ship with an almost magical energy.

Jonnit likes parties, the general buzz of fun and movement letting the gentle worry of the life of a corsair fade into the background.

It’s night and Travis is lamenting about it, a coyote on Gable’s lap. Dref comes into the room, they are wearing a floor length skirt and a coat other than his doctor's coat for once.

Gable smiles at him. “Look who pulled out all the stops tonight.”

He blushes and stammers a bit, “T-thank you.”

Jonnit can’t help but stare at it, the fabric looking soft and glittery all the same. “I didn’t know you owned skirts.” he remarks.

“T-they are i-inconvenient for m-most of m-my work,” he says, a bit solemn.

Jonnit nods, a pirate's life was not made for pretty and frilly outfits. Travis grumbles something about being able to wear skirts when she’s human and Gable laughs at him, genly petting her head.

He can’t help but keep staring at Dref’s skirt as they run their fingers through the fabric.

“I p-probably have one f-for y-you,” Dref says suddenly, “if you w-would l-like?”

Jonnit’s eyes go wide and he smiles excitedly, “For real?” he says.

Dref nods.

“Cool! Thank you.” he says, getting up quickly and practically dragging Dref to the door.

Gable and Travis watch them leave as Jonnit bables excitedly, Dref looks at him with a soft smile.

“They grow up so fast.” Travis says mocking at Gable’s incredibly fond look.

“Oh sush,” they say, “you are one to talk.”

-

Jonnit stares at himself in the tall mirror of the captain's quarters, the skirt Dref has given him is a deep blue, with what looks like stars embroidered at the bottom of it. He likes the sensation of it when he spins, the fabric swishing and all the constellations moving with him.

He isn’t sure why he has never worn a skirt before, mostly because it has never been practical maybe, but now he feels warm and happy as he looks in the mirror.

“It s-suits you,” Dref says,

“Yeah!” Jonnit says with glee. “Now let’s go dance.”

He pulls Dref by his arm, who then almost stumbles but quickly follows behind Jonnit, into the mass of dancing skyjacks.

Everyone seems excited to see them, of course they are the heroes of the hour having not so long ago taken down The Civility.

Everyone on the crew is fond of Jonnit, he mingels easily in the crowd and people seem glad to teach him all types of dances he eagerly attempts.

Gable pops in and out, occasionally to Jonnit's delight swinging him around like he weighs nothing. Dref mostly stays at the outskirts, nodding at the pats on the back he gets from the rest of the crew, smiling at Jonnit’s exited demeanor.

"I should wear this more often." He says later, twirling to make the skirt turn with him.

"Y-you can k-keep it," Dref says firmly.

Jonnit looks at him like he has stars in his eyes. "Thank you," he says, and leans in for a hug slowly, so Dref can back out.

Dref melts into the quick hug, holding Jonnit for a second, hoping he gets everything they didn’t get to have.

-

After Buzra Nyth Jonnit still owns the skirt. Dref was right of course, it isn’t very convenient in most situations but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t wear it.

It surprisingly doesn’t feel terrible to wear it, it brings with it only soft memories of Dref, and a nice glow like feeling that Jonnit can’t help but smile at. It’s the comfort Dref would give him, were he still here.

-

There is something about being called “boy” that just doesn’t sit right with Jonnit. He’d imagined it was because of how childish it made him feel, but there is something weirdly specific about the twinge of discomfort that comes with it.

Gable and Travis are listening to him ramble about in, trying to pay attention at this late hour. It is, Jonnit imagines, a bit like a sleepover you would have were they a normal friend group.

Except Travis, who is a snake at the moment, is curled around Gable’s neck, and Gable is nodding along while they idly play with a gun.

“Is girl any better?” Gable tries.

Jonnit grimaces a bit. “It’s not...worse?”

“Let’s just call you child then.” Travis says.

Gable vaguely pushes part of him off their shoulder. “This is important.” they say annoyed. Jonnit can’t help but laugh at them both.

“What about young man?” Gable keeps trying.

“It isn’t bad, doesn’t feel...me?” he says, gesturing vaguely. It was all confusing and not easy to explain.

“Well people don’t need to use gendered anything.” Gable says matter of factly.

“Or everything.” Travis says, and she smiles Jonnit a snakey grin.

As the night goes on Jonnit has a small list written down; he finds he doesn’t mind “son”, but he does prefer “sibling”, he decidedly dislikes “boy” and “man” feels distant, “sir” and “madam” both have a certain status they are excited about achieving someday. It’s almost fun really, repeating small sentences in their brain, imagining scenarios, Travis and Gable both occasionally sleepily adding commentary.

He ends the list with a twice underlined bold. “Captain Kessler.” which leaves him smiling stupidly at the paper.

This is my friend, they are a corsair and their name is Jonnit. He writes down carefully.

“Hey would you guys mind using they pronouns for me occasionally,” they say at the end of the night, feeling a small and unreasonable anxiety in his chest.

Gable smiles excitedly. “Of course!”

Travis lifts her head from where it was buried in Gable's hair. “Welcome to the club, kid.”

Jonnit smiles. “Yeah,” they say, “yeah I guess so.”

-

Jonnit smiles at the scene before him, Margaret had forced them all into what she regarded as a well needed rest after Nordia. So here they were now, cooped up into Dref’s former office, laying on the floor as Margaret did their nails one by one.

It was an activity that required patience, and forced you to sit down and enjoy eachothers company. Occasionally Margaret and Travis took sips from their mugs of heartroot, Travis’ balanced precariously on the edge of a book shelf, Margaret’s safely at her side as she chided Gable for moving too much.

Jonnit clinked their bright freshly polished nails against his own mug, they were a deep blue to match with their skirt and made a soft lovely sound against the ceramic.

Jonnit had, almost shyly, approached Margaret about blending heartroot a while ago, and had been blown away by her level of enthusiasm and knowledge.

So there he was, shakingly holding the tea, which was ever so carefully picked to stop facial hair growth and to make their voice just a little higher. Margaret had gently reminded him that the mix could always be adjusted, people and feelings change after all. It still felt like a big step as he took a small sip, it was sweet and almost floral and warm.

He couldn’t quite contain his giggles, a happy haze falling over them. His three companions turn to him with equal fond looks.

-

Many things happened when Jonnit went back to Akaron, the feelings and slight unresolved tension from when they had left home still hanging around the air and certainly explanations were needed from his sister, who had apparently also left home.

Both Zana and his dad were delighted to see him, embracing them in a group hug so tight Jonnit almost felt he couldn’t breathe.

His nervousness falling away as they entered their childhood home and sat down to have the longest conversation he had had with anything in a while.

There was a lot to digest of course, with both Zana and him retelling their adventures, their destinies, their fears. Jonnit’s gender journey in the end was only one of the many many items in the long list of explanations that night.

Whatever edge of nervousness there was it was worth it for the gentle peace of understanding that washed over all of them having talked.

It was worth the giddiness he got when he overheard Zana talking to a friend of hers.

“Yeah me and my sibling are home for a bit,” she says, “Jonnit? You remember them right?”

It was worth for the hug his father gave them when they left, full of unspeakable emotion.

“I’ll always be here you know,” his father said, blinking back tears, “whatever you do, you always have home to come back to.”

Jonnit was tearing up too “Thanks dad.” he said and added, “You’ll always be welcome on my ship too.”

His dad gave him a wide smile, tears now falling from his eyes as he nudged them towards the Uhuru where Travis and Gable were waiting. “Now go get them, captain Kessler.”

-

“Captain?” his quartermaster said as they slowly entered their quarters, Jonnit nodded at them to speak “Ma’am the crew is awaiting orders. Shall I tell them to get to their battle stations?”

Captain Jonnit Kessler moved away from the window where he was looking at their next target, a red feather ship gilded in gold, one of the last ones in the sky. He couldn’t help but smile, they should be used to this by now but some things never quite stop being a small novelty.

“Yes,” they said, “and tell Gable to come up to my quarters, I would like to see them before the battle.”

The quartermaster nodded, the excitement of upcoming battle clearly in the air. “Yes ma’am.” they said, exaggerating the salute a little.

Jonnit smiled and shook his head. “Well get to it then.” they said, not quite being able to shake the amusement in his voice

“Yes sir!” they say, with a final grin as they leave the room.

And with that Capitain Kessler prepares themself for one of many battles to come, one of the crucial ones that one day make them the best pirate to ever live, the ones that help him one day rule the skies.

[morningflames]

a word of warning

well here’s a post i never thought i’d be making

it’s come to my attention that a Certain Someone is planning on making a comeback to WrA soon and it fills me with nothing short of dread. i spent the day yesterday warning people he terrorized and manipulated that this was happening. you know it’s bad when there’s a literal network of people who share an abuser that have remained in contact for years in the event this happened again.

i am not going to lie and say that making this post does not terrify me but i cannot in good conscience sit back and let him worm his way into the rp scene again and do what he did to me and at least half a dozen others all over again.

to summarize: tarcanus aka tarcanus frostborne is a manipulative, emotionally abusive and predatory individual that should be avoided at all costs.

i am the player behind lyrinel, a former officer of his and someone who was on the receiving end of nearly a years worth of abuse and manipulation. my experiences pale in comparison to those of others who dealt with him and came forward to me after i left his guild, and i cannot speak for anyone who does not feel comfortable coming forward. if you do want to let your voice be heard, feel free to reblog and add your own anecdotes.

my story below the cut.

tw: manipulation, emotional abuse, gaslighting, coercion, grooming

i first joined coram populo in early 2014 after my best friend and fellow survivor (i will refer to her by her character’s name of thradia from here on out) joined the raid team in december of the previous year. we were both just looking for a social place to park our characters and maybe start role playing again, as we hadn’t had a guild or dedicated rp group in a while. things were fine and friendly for the first couple of months, though it’s worth noting that a large part of the office corps had just left or was in the process of leaving when thradia and i joined. we were both 18 at the time.

i made the mistake of reaching out to tarc in the spring, when i noticed him posting to his tumblr about how busy he was. i offered to be an IC assistant of sorts to his character and he was more than happy to toss me into an absolute whirlwind. we still didn’t know much about each other, but in the span of a couple weeks we went from casual contact in guild chat to immensely long (sometimes between 10 and 12 hours) skype calls, constant DMing, and an almost uninterrupted stream of conversation. i was struggling to finish high school at this time (spoiler: i failed to graduate) and found myself suddenly caught in an all-consuming relationship with this man and his guild. from the moment i woke up to the moment i finally hung up and crawled into bed, my time was taken up by tarc and the guild and the game.

i was promoted to officer less than five months after joining the guild. this was overwhelming for a number of reasons, chief among them being the fact that i had never been an officer in a guild like this before and i was very quickly escalated to tarc’s “inner circle.” this was a circle that he evidently didn’t even include his most senior officers in, as he didn’t seem to communicate with them to the extent or abundance that he did with me - and later, when she was ALSO promoted to officer, thradia. 

within a few weeks i found myself at the center of dozens of micro-confrontations and venting from tarc about other members of the guild, raid team, and even fellow officers. every time, i would tell him he needed to take it to his co-gm and talk it through with her. she, like him, was a grown woman with a lot more experience and better people skills than me, a teenager barely out of high school, but tarc insisted on beating me over the head with his frustrations and then proceeding to guilt me and tell me i was a terrible friend when i didn’t agree with him or expressed i was uncomfortable being in the center of a vent session that i felt was unwarranted. 

tarc was never wrong. he did not apologize. the words “i’m sorry” did not exist in his vocabulary, and if they did, they were almost always followed up with the word “but.” constantly he would be sending multiple messages to me or thradia while we were running events and raids for the guild, ranting about a few particular members that he disliked at the time regardless of how we felt about said members. thradia and i would both be reduced to tears and/or anxiety attacks by his outbursts that all but demanded we take his side even if we didn’t. his feelings and circumstances were paramount. everyone else’s were just inconveniences. 

tarc was always the victim. no matter what was going on, no matter who had instigated whatever vein of conversation we were on that had gone awry, he had a way of making you feel like utter shit until you grovelled for his forgiveness, which he rarely gave. instead he would move on without giving any closure or allowing you to discuss your feelings at length. if you tried, you were the insensitive one who he couldn’t go to with his “unfiltered emotions,” which was the entire purpose of his inner circle to hear him say it. i was not allowed to just be his friend or just be an officer, i had to be both and neither at the same time, and it still was not the right course of action. nothing ever was.

tarc was openly manipulative and antagonistic, always citing it as an “inside joke” when called on it. i opened up to him once about my father’s alcoholism and how i was uncomfortable with alcohol culture and being around drunk people. regardless, he would constantly call while drunk (or maybe he was pretending to be to get a rise out of me, i honestly do not know what was genuine and what was put on with him) and make me stay on the call with him for hours. when he was (allegedly) diagnosed with an inability to process certain alcohols that could be life threatening, he continued to drink (or claimed he was drinking) dangerous amounts, which lead to me begging him to stop as i feared for his life. one of the worst anxiety attacks i have ever had was over him endangering his health and me believing i was going to see a friend die. he knew how much this upset me and he did not stop. he held me as a captive audience to his self destruction (or the playacting of it) and let me cry and beg and plead with him to take care of himself.

tarc loves to promote a clean, “family friendly” persona online. he will go on and on about the positive atmosphere his guild provides and how progress and accepting he and his “safe spaces” are. as soon as you are inducted to his inner circle, however, you learn otherwise. he will gladly engage in sexually charged conversation with you, even if you are ten years younger than him as thradia and i were. we were both legal adults, yes, but just barely. i can’t count the inappropriate remarks and jokes made about us, our friends, and even minors all in the spirit of joking “what if” conversation. he has a history of making young LGBT+ people uncomfortable, making their sexualities and identities about him and how he can relate to them. 

tarc was the most two-faced and divisive guild leader i’ve ever seen. he would rant to me mercilessly about wanting to kick one of the junior officers and raid team members in private while never saying a word to their face or bringing it up with the co-gm. he would start schisms between people, telling each what they wanted to hear and encouraging both parties not to confront each other about it, allowing the resentment and distrust to grow as he fanned the flames on both sides. he wanted people to stay in the guild and continue to basically work for him while also putting him above anyone else in their friend circles. he told straight up lies to thradia and i, claiming one of us had said things about the other that we never did, driving a wedge and distrust between us.

tarc treats his guild(s) like a business. he is entirely capitalist-minded even in an MMORPG that people play for fun, churning out “content” and keeping up appearances like a machine. he treats his officers and guild members like employees, not people. any time irl would demand attention away from the game, forcing someone to miss or cancel an event, he would subtly guilt them about it until they apologized, even if it was a dire situation or a family emergency. 

when tarc wanted to start a wow roleplaying podcast, he approached me about cohosting. he wanted a female voice, and since i was out of school and had no job lined up due to not graduating i was the perfect candidate. i came on to narrate and research the lore segment of the looking for roleplay podcast, which was little more than me paraphrasing a wowwiki article, but i was held to a “professional” standard. i had to have my research done by a certain day, my recording done in advance, etc. 

the podcast was a spot of contention for several reasons, one being the mysterious emails tarc would allegedly receive about it. the podcast had a shared email account that all three of us could access and look at, but tarc claimed that people sent emails directly to him since “everything’s under his email.” he would use these strawman emails as indirect criticism of turwinkle and i, reading them aloud or typing up what they supposedly said but NEVER producing a real screenshot or address to verify them. i’m convinced he only did this as a way to make turwinkle and i feel badly and work harder “for the listeners” to appease things tarc didn’t like about our segments. he also insinuated he got inappropriate emails about me specifically at this account but, again, i was never allowed to see them with my own eyes, just hear about them secondhand, which is why i believe they did not exist.

around this time, tarc began recording conversations without mine or thradias consent. he would start recording random sections of calls and taunt us, playing back out-of-context lines and joking that he would make “podcast commercials” out of them. they were often embarrassing, personal, or just wildly out of context lines that we didn’t want played to the public, and i heard only a fraction of what he possibly recorded of me. i have no idea what kind of material he has of me and thradia that was recorded without us knowing or consenting. it felt like blackmail. it still does.

i internalized all of this. i thought this was normal. i thought he was an excellent guild leader and a role model for leadership. i had begun to treat world of fucking warcraft like a goddamn job and i thought that was fine. my life revolved around coddling and entertaining him, socializing and promoting and recruiting for the guild, raiding, running pvp entirely on my own, keeping up IC connections and attending events, recording for the podcast, all of it. i ate, breathed, and slept wow and coram. it was insane. i had been talked into having no boundaries for myself and my time, and any time i tried to correct that and build a boundary i was attacked for it until i backed down. i have never felt worse about myself than i did while i was in this guild. i trusted no one. i was worn thin.

i finally had enough early 2015. at this point this man was trying to get me to come live with him hundreds of miles from my family so that i could attend a technical school in his area. i am still 18. he was 28. i had been trying to step down from my position as an officer, citing if i was going to be LIVING WITH HIM that it was going to give me an unfair bias in my standing in the guild. this set him all the way off. he was planning a trip to atlantic city for me, himself, and thradia, who i had a ticket to visit for my birthday. he was getting frantic because he had been pursuing thradia for months, and i was no longer cooperating. 

when i threw this wrench in everything, our relationship devolved in the span of a few hours. within the day i left the guild on all of my characters and pulled myself out of all of his projects. within the month i had frantically faction changed several characters and eventually unsubscribed from the game for two years because i lived in fear of him. he had always alluded to “knowing people” who could hack and track IP addresses and kept tabs on everyone who visited his blogs and websites. i didn’t know what i thought he was going to do - all i knew was his thinly veiled brags and threats were at the forefront of my mind. i have played this game since 2006, but for the first time in my life i couldn’t enjoy it out of fear and exhaustion caused by him. he had ruined my favorite game in less than a year and made me paranoid about my entire online presence, to the point where this blog was abandoned for months before i turned it into what it is today. 

and the thing is, tarc’s not a creepy or abrasive guy when you first meet him. he’s funny and charismatic and outgoing. he loves to tell you about his world travels and show you pictures of him petting baby tigers at rescues in southeast asia and go on about these crazy winnings he would have in vegas. he’s larger than life - at least online. he came to visit me twice in the year that we knew each other. the first time was also the first time i had ever met thradia in person, and we had been friends for six years at that point. he has met my family, and that of several other members (both my age and older). no one ever questions why he’s there. no one ever thought it was odd that for a week he hung out with three teenage girls exclusively. 

this horrifies me to this day. 

thradia and i are still best friends. we compared notes and were sickened at how we were played against each other. slowly, i returned to the game. i reached out to people who had left or been on their way out when i first joined the guild, curious to see if there was a common thread. there was. everyone i spoke with had similar stories: being made to feel like shit, nothing they ever did for the guild was enough, they weren’t allowed to miss events or raids no matter what the reason, they were questioned and joked about inappropriately and made to feel uncomfortable and preyed upon, etc. i was not the only one. thradia was not the only one. at least half a dozen other former members and/or officers had these stories, and tarc just kept getting away with it.

he cannot keep getting away with it.

i am being open with this for the first time in six years because i don’t want to see it happen again. because i don’t want to know that, had i said something sooner, more people could have been protected. i was 18 when this was going on. i had no real world experience. i had no standard for how i should be treated, much less by someone almost ten years my senior and who claimed to be my friend. but he knew better. he should have had boundaries and space and lines he refused to cross. he did not. he crippled my trust in people for a very long time. i have only become comfortable playing wow on horde side again in the past year or so. i finally stopped looking over my shoulder, /who’ing him and his guild, avoiding rp hubs. but now i feel like i can’t do that anymore. the safety i have worked so hard to achieve for myself is now threatened.

i understand my experiences are mild in comparison to what some offenders on this server have done. but at the end of the day, this year was the worst year of my life. to this day, the skype ringtone literally triggers me because i associated it with him and his endless calls that i never knew what to expect from or how to get out of. i can’t look at certain parts of the game without feeling fear. for months i held my breath going online or logging into wow because i was waiting for him to pop up and start accusing me of things or trying to guilt me into coming back.

tarc ran coram populo, a guild that, as far as i know, still staggers along with a few members who can’t be bothered to leave. whether or not he’s planning to return there, i don’t know. he organizes and runs (from what i can tell) the azerothian trade federation (whatever the fuck that is). i don’t know what his plans are. i don’t know what his online presence looks or will look like when he comes crawling back. but i beseech you, do not give him the time of day. do not give him a platform, no matter how nice and “woke” he makes himself out to be. he lures you in with humanist ideals and then sucks the absolute life out of you- and that’s if he doesn’t want to pressure you into a relationship on top of it.

to tarc: if somehow you’re reading this, stay away from me. keep my name out of your mouth. i do not want an apology and a string of half-assed, gaslighting excuses. i have records of past conversations. i have screenshots. i know what you fucking did to me and to my friends. i do not want you back. i do not want you here. i do not want to share space with you. i want you to go away and never come back. 

you alone made it so hard to trust myself and other people. thradia and i both have had to seek therapy due to you. and now, you have the audacity to come riding back into the scene on a white horse, being self righteous about abuse and predatory behavior online, and have the utter gall to condemn behaviors you yourself emulated without apology or second thought. i know you think you’re a good guy. that’s what makes you so fucking dangerous. you genuinely don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, and if you do, you’ve buried it and squirreled it away and have covered it up to the point where you can turn any accusation back on the claimant. 

do not attempt to contact me. do not try to threaten or appease me. go back where you were. i am finally at home again, and you will not take that from me. go. away.

[rpf-bat]

For What You’ve Done (They’re Gonna Find A Place For You)

Pairing: Mikey Way x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Summary: Written for Gothtober 2020, Day 9. Prompt: “My Demons.”

You’re in a rehab clinic in Bergen County, New Jersey, trying your best to fight your inner demons, and get sober. One day, a new patient enters the twelve-step program. You’re shocked to discover, that it’s none other than your first celebrity crush. 

Trigger warning for several mentions of substance abuse. 

You’d been a resident at the inpatient clinic for about two months now. It was the longest stretch of time, that you’d been sober, in years. You weren’t sure yet, if you liked it or not. But, at least the facility, gave you a decent amount of freedom. You were allowed to roam the grounds during the day, as much as you liked - as long as you showed up to all your therapy meetings, when you were supposed to. 

You still felt bored. It sucked, not being able to leave the premises, and go anywhere. You decided to relieve your restlessness, by heading out into the garden, for a cigarette. 

A lot of the patients smoked. One you got rid of one addiction, sometimes, you just had to replace it with another.  You knew, of course, that nicotine was bad for you. But, railing cocaine was significantly worse. You figured the medical staff on site had decided to pick their battles.

“Hey, Y/N,” called a voice from the bench by the roses. “You got a light?”

You turned, and saw it was one of the girls from your therapy group, Lacey. 

“Hey,” you greeted her, and handed your lighter to her. 

“Thanks,” she grinned, and lit the cig she was holding. “Did you hear the news?” 

“What news?” you asked, taking a drag on your own cancer stick. 

“A new guy is gonna be joining us in group today,” Lacey explained. “Heard he just got here, last night.” 

“Oh, yeah?” you raised an eyebrow, exhaling smoke. The first day, you were more than aware, was often the hardest. 

“I think his name’s Michael, or something,” Lacey shrugged. “I got a look at him, when they were escorting him to his room. He’s cute.” 

“I didn’t come here, to get a date,” you scoffed. 

“Way I heard it, you didn’t come here willingly at all,” Lacey snickered. “Wasn’t your mom gonna kick you out of her house, if you didn’t agree to get treatment?” 

“....You know what, I think that’s enough smoking for today,” you snapped, snatching your lighter, back out of her hands. 

“Hey!” Lacey protested. 

“Whatever.” You stomped out your cigarette butt into the dirt, with perhaps more force than necessary. “I’m going back inside…..” 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your watch told you it was 3:45. Group therapy wasn't supposed to start until four o’clock. You wandered into the meeting room anyway. You didn’t feel like going back to your room, and you had nothing better to do.

To your surprise, you found a man sitting in one of the chairs, a Dodgers cap pulled down over his eyes. 

“Hey,” you called, “what are you doing in here? Taking a nap?”

The guy sat up suddenly, as if dazed. 

Oh, shit, you realized. He really was sleeping. 

“You must be the new guy,” you laughed. “Hey - it’s okay. I didn’t get much sleep during my first night here, either. The beds here are hard as rocks.” 

“They…..they really are,” the man confessed. “Sorry - I didn’t mean to pass out in here.  The room was just so quiet and empty, y’know?”

He straightened and took off his hat, revealing his face. You gasped, when you realized you recognized him. 

“You’re....you’re Mikey Way,” you bleated. Holy shit. 

“....Do I know you?” Mikey asked, rubbing his eyes. 

“No,” you shook your head, reddening. “I, uh, I was just a big My Chemical Romance fan, when I was younger. I think your music is amazing.”

“....Oh,” Mikey mumbled. “Sorry….I’m not exactly giving out autographs right now.” 

“I wasn’t going to ask for one,” you assured him. “I mean, I always wanted to meet you, but…..not in a place like this.” 

Mikey stared at his shoes, looking ashamed of himself. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked. 

“....You probably thought of me as like, some cool rock hero,” Mikey mumbled. “Now, as you can see, I’m just some piece of shit junkie.” 

“I mean…..so am I?” you pointed out. “That’s why we’re both here.” 

“Yeah, I guess,” Mikey frowned. He tugged his sleeves down, clearly trying to hide the tire tracks on his arms. You couldn’t pretend that it didn’t hurt a little, to see him in this state. You’d had a crush on him, since you were fifteen. 

“But, you’re trying to get clean,” you said softly. “You’re here, trying to fight your demons, and become a better person. That definitely counts for something, in my book.”

Mikey raised his head, looking at you in surprise. He had such pretty eyes. 

“.....Thank you,” he said sincerely. “That means a lot.” 

“I’m Y/N, by the way,” you smiled, extending your hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” Mikey smiled back, accepting the handshake. 

“Do you mind if I sit here with you, until everyone else gets here?” you asked. You knew Lacey would probably show up soon, but the former emo kid in you, was delighted at the chance to talk to a Way brother one-on-one. 

“Sure, pull up a chair,” Mikey shrugged. “I wasn’t doing much, anyway, aside from catching a few Zs.” 

“Sorry again, for waking you,” you winced. You didn’t want to make his first day more difficult. 

“It’s okay,” Mikey replied. “I was wondering….what do you guys normally talk about, in these therapy groups, anyway?” 

“Well, yesterday,” you recalled, “Dr. Armstrong asked us to name a positive coping mechanism, that we could use to deal with our problems, instead of turning to...y’know, substances.” 

“What coping mechanism did you come up with?” Mikey asked. 

You hesitated, your face going red. 

“Sorry,” Mikey frowned. “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to. I mean, you just met me today.” 

“No, it’s okay,” you shrugged. “I already told the whole group, after all.” 

“Oh, right,” Mikey chuckled. 

“The coping mechanism that I wrote down on my therapy worksheet, was music,” you explained. “When I first got here, I got permission for my mom to bring me some of my old CDs. Dr. Armstrong lets me keep a stereo in my room, as long as I promise not to use it after lights-out. I started listening to albums that I hadn’t heard, since I was a teenager.” 

“Since before you started doing….substances?” Mikey guessed. 

“Yeah,” you confessed. “Listening to some of these heavy songs, was actually really cathartic. Singing along to the lyrics, helps me get my feelings out, instead of just…..burying them.” 

“I’ll be honest,” Mikey sighed. “I use substances to bury my feelings a lot, too. That’s exactly how I got in this mess.” 

“I get it,” you nodded. You never thought that your idol would be struggling with all the same stuff that you did. When you’d seen him on the World Contamination Tour, three years ago, he had looked invincible. You realized, darkly, that even then, he could have been shooting up backstage. 

“What album have you been listening to the most, since you started getting sober?” Mikey asked curiously. “Like, what’s really therapeutic for you?” 

You looked away from him, feeling embarrassed. 

“......Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge,” you mumbled. 

“Whoa, seriously?” Mikey gaped. “My band’s album?” 

“Yeah,” you admitted shyly. “Is that weird? I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s not weird,” Mikey assured you. “That actually makes me really happy, that something I had a hand in creating, was able to help you so much.”

“Thank you,” you said, somewhat emotionally, “for putting that record into the world.” 

“You’re welcome, Y/N,” Mikey smiled. “It sounds strange, but….I’m kinda glad that I met you here.” 

“I’m glad, too,” you agreed. “But….I’m sorry that you’re in this situation.” 

“My friend David, kind of tricked me into coming here,” Mikey confessed, scratching his head. “He said he wanted to work on writing music with me, so I flew here, from California. But, when I got here, he was just like, yeah, we’re not making an album, you’re going to rehab.” 

“Did that make you mad?” you wondered. “Were you really angry at your friend, for dragging you to New Jersey, under false pretenses?” 

“No, I wasn’t mad at all,” Mikey said, surprising you. “Deep down, I knew that what I was doing to myself was wrong. I knew it was gonna get me killed, eventually, if somebody didn’t intervene. So….I just checked myself in, without arguing. I’m actually really grateful to him.” 

“Grateful…,” you repeated. “When my mom first checked me into this place, I wasn’t grateful at all. I felt like I was being thrown in jail. I didn’t think I had a problem.” 

“But, now you do?” Mikey realized. 

“Yeah, therapy helped me realize how much I was using the coke as a crutch,” you admitted. “I just wanted to party all the time, to distract myself. I didn’t want to be sober, ever, because that meant focusing on all the problems I had in life.” 

“I’m worried I’m gonna come off like a jackass, in the therapy group,” Mikey frowned. “Like, oh, you’re a millionaire celebrity. You don’t have any real problems in life.”

“Everybody has problems, in one way or another,” you disagreed. “Didn’t your band break up, last year? That must have been hard for you.”

“It was,” Mikey said honestly. “Being My Chem’s bassist, was like my whole identity. I had been doing it for over a decade. So, when my brother decided that the band was over with, it was like, I don’t know. I didn’t know who I was anymore.” 

“Of course that would be hard to cope with,” you said sympathetically. “Look, your problems might be very different from mine, but, if anyone in group tries to tell you they’re not valid, I’ll set ‘em straight.” 

“Thank you,” Mikey smiled softly. “I’m glad that I have at least one friend here.”

Mikey Way called me his friend, you thought, giddily. This was so surreal. If you weren’t nine weeks sober, you would have thought that you were tripping.

“What’s your positive coping mechanism gonna be, though?” you wondered, imagining what Dr. Armstrong would say to him, once the meeting started. “I mean, you can’t use the record you wrote.”

“Mine might be music, too,” Mikey said thoughtfully. “But, not listening to it - I want to get my feelings out, by writing songs.” 

“That’s a great idea!” you grinned. 

“David and I actually composed a couple really cool demos, before I started to take a turn for the worse,” Mikey explained. “When I get out of here, I want to finish an album with him, for real.” 

“What are you going to call the project?” you asked. 

“We were thinking of calling the new band, Electric Century,” Mikey smiled. 

“That’s a really cool name,” you complimented him. “If you get clean, and are able to go back out into the real world, and make the album a reality….then, I promise, when I get released, the first thing I’ll do,  is go buy a copy.” 

“You mean it?” Mikey asked, flattered. 

“Pinky swear!” you insisted. You held out your hand. 

“Ok, it’s a pinky promise,” Mikey laughed. “I’ll stay sober long enough to make the music, if you stay sober, long enough to hear it.” 

He reached out, and linked his pinky finger, with yours. You felt a spark, when your fingers touched. You thought that perhaps, you were exactly where you were supposed to be after all.

[morganaspendragonss]

you would be the one to rescue me

@badthingshappenbingo prompt - used in a sacrifice/ritual (requested by @girlwhowasntthere, thank you my lovely!)

as always, i am still looking for prompts to fill the remaining squares; if you have one, let me know!

ao3 | 1.6k | bbc atlantis, jason/pythagoras

When Jason wakes, Pythagoras is gone.

This in itself is not unusual; unlike Hercules, Pythagoras is an early riser, and he often appoints himself the task of gathering wood whenever they spend nights outside of the citadel. To make up for his lack of proficiency in other areas, he likes to joke, though Jason hates seeing him so down on himself. What Pythagoras may lack in sword-fighting skill, he more than makes up for in sheer genius, which has saved all their lives more times that Jason can count and Hercules wants to admit.

So, Pythagoras being absent isn’t so strange. What is strange, however, is the fact that he’s left his cloak behind. There is a chill in the air this morning, and Pythagoras, skinny as he is, always feels the cold more keenly. It is why Jason often insists on sharing a bedroll with him - or, that’s the excuse he gives, which had been true at first. Jason doesn’t know that he believes himself anymore, and Hercules certainly doesn’t, but none of them say anything. So.

Jason considers trying to catch a little more sleep, but Hercules’s snoring fills the clearing, and he knows it would be a lost cause. He sighs irritably and sits up, rubbing a hand across his face before glancing around for Pythagoras.

There’s no sign, and Jason can’t deny the worry beginning to take root in his chest. It’s not that he doesn’t think Pythagoras can’t take care of himself - he’s proven time and again that he can - but… Well, Jason doesn’t know what it is exactly. He cares for his friend, is all.

It’s when Hercules has begun to stir, and Pythagoras still hasn’t returned, that Jason knows something is truly wrong. He’s been torn for a while, stuck between wanting to go and look for him and not wanting to overreact, but now he knows. 

Pythagoras is in trouble, and he needs them.

“Hercules!” Jason calls, when his friend looks liable to just roll over and go back to sleep again. “Hercules!”

“What?” Hercules grouses, his eyes barely cracking open. “What are you shouting about?”

“It’s Pythagoras,” he says, standing and strapping his sword around his waist. “He’s gone, and I think he might be in trouble.”

Hercules sighs and sits up, looking around the clearing. “Maybe he’s just off relieving himself. You know how long he takes.”

“No. He’s been gone since before I woke up; I haven’t seen him all morning.”

“And how long have you been up?”

Jason glares; he knows Hercules isn’t being contrary on purpose, but he’s learnt to trust his gut over these years, and his gut is telling him that something is wrong. “Long enough,” he bites out, and Hercules holds his hands up in surrender.

“Alright,” he says placatingly. “Just wanted to be sure.” He climbs to his feet and grabs his own sword, coming to stand by Jason. “Which way?”

“Which - What do you mean, ‘which way’?” Jason asks incredulously, staring at him.

Hercules stares right back. “It’s a big forest, Jason.”

Big is an understatement; the forest is huge and Jason has gotten lost in it enough times to know they can’t afford to choose the wrong direction. More importantly, Pythagoras can’t afford for them to do that, and panic wells up in him as he looks frantically around the clearing for any clues as to where he might have gone.

“I - I don’t - Hercules -” Jason gasps, his chest tight. He wants to be calm - he needs to be calm - but Pythagoras is missing, he could be wounded, and Jason doesn’t have a clue how to find him.

Hands grasp his shoulders; Jason shoves them off and stumbles backward, almost falling to the ground. He’s only saved by Hercules pulling on his tunic, causing them to collide instead.

“Gods,” Hercules curses, setting them both straight. “Jason, you have to focus. I promise you we’ll find him, but we can’t do that if you don’t pull yourself together, alright?”

Jason nods, not yet trusting himself to speak.

“Good. Now, then. Let’s go.” Hercules starts walking into the forest, Jason watching him, completely at a loss. He looks back, raising an eyebrow. “You coming?”

“What do you mean?” Jason asks, frowning.

Hercules rolls his eyes. “The undergrowth over here has been disturbed and the ground is littered with broken branches, but we didn’t come that way yesterday.”

“We’re in a forest; there are broken branches everywhere.”

“Do you want to find Pythagoras or not?” Hercules demands, hands on hips. He’s got Jason there, and he knows it, turning and walking away without giving him a chance to respond. “This is our best chance.”

Jason hesitates for a moment longer before scrambling to catch up with Hercules, thankful for his clear head. They can’t afford to waste any more time; if they are to find Pythagoras, then they have to make a choice.

He just hopes it’s the right one.

*

They’ve been walking for a while - too long - when Hercules stops suddenly, holding up a hand. Jason frowns, but then he hears it - chanting, coming from a clearing just ahead of them. He and Hercules creep forward, hiding their bodies behind trees as they peer down into the valley, and the sight that greets them chills Jason to his core.

A group of people wearing identical cloaks and crudely constructed masks stand around a sinister-looking stone table, chanting words Jason doesn’t recognise. And lying on the table: Pythagoras, eyes closed and a bleeding gash on his temple. Jason’s eyes widen and he lurches forward, only to be shoved back by Hercules.

“Hercules!” he hisses, glaring at him.

Hercules glares back, just as forceful. “Do you want to get us all killed?”

“But -”

“We need a plan,” Hercules continues, undeterred. “I was thinking, if we -”

Whatever he meant to say is cut off by the chanting increasing in volume, and Jason looks down into the valley to see a knife glinting in the hands of one of the group, poised over Pythagoras’s heart. All rational thought flies out of Jason’s head and he jumps from his hiding spot with a yell, barrelling down into the valley, sword in hand. Distantly, he hears Hercules cursing and the sound of footsteps following him, but he’s too focused on the battle to pay his friend much mind. 

They make short work of the fanatics, none of them armed save the one with the knife, and Jason is certain to take him down first. When they’re all dead, Jason stops and stares at the carnage for a moment, breathing hard. Rage flares in his chest, bright and hot; who were these people, to think they could take one of his friends and get away with it?

“Jason!”

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Hercules calling his name, and he looks over to see him bending over Pythagoras, ear resting close to his mouth.

“Is he…” Jason trails off, a lump in his throat at the idea that Pythagoras could be… That he…

Hercules looks up at him, jaw set. “He’s breathing,” he says grimly. “But we need to get him back to the citadel, now.” He grabs Pythagoras’s arms, hauling him over his shoulders, and sets off through the forest back towards Atlantis. Jason follows close behind, sword still drawn, his gaze firmly fixed on Pythagoras’s head, lolling and bouncing against Hercules’s back.

Hold on, my friend, he thinks. Hold on.

*

Jason bites his lip, anxiously twisting his hands together as he stares down at Pythagoras’s still form. He itches to reach out and check on the bandages Medusa had wrapped around the wound on his head, but he hardly knows what he’s supposed to be looking for, and he’d rather not make things worse than they already are.

Medusa had stepped out some moments ago, squeezing Jason’s shoulder as she went, and he can hear her talking quietly with Hercules just beyond the curtain. Jason smiles softly, happy that they have each other; Hercules deserves happiness, and he knows no one better than Medusa to help him there.

A groan from the bed pulls Jason’s attention, and he watches with baited breath as Pythagoras’s brow creases, his eyes slowly blinking open.

“Pythagoras,” he breathes, half-rising from his spot next to the bed, hands hovering over his friend.

Pythagoras frowns, his gaze taking a moment to clear as he focuses on Jason’s face. “Jason,” he says, voice weak. “What happened?”

Jason shakes his head, forcing a smile. “It does not matter,” he says, daring to reach out and touch Pythagoras’s hand. “The important thing is that you are safe now, and that you focus on getting better.”

It is clear by the look on his face that Pythagoras is not satisfied with his answer, but he doesn’t push for now, which only testifies to how bad he must be feeling. It hurts Jason’s heart to see him in such a state, but he keeps smiling, resettled now in his former position.

“How are you?” he asks after a moment of silence. “I can get Hercules if you want; I am certain he will be pleased to see you awake.”

“Perhaps in a moment,” Pythagoras replies. “Much as I would like to see him, my head is hurting and our friend is not known for his skill at being quiet.”

Jason laughs, though concern rises in him at the admission of pain. “Medusa, then? She can give you something for the pain. Or maybe I should leave you alone; I do not want to cause you any further harm.”

“No.” Pythagoras’s eyes widen and he grips Jason’s hand even as he goes to stand. Jason looks down, surprised at the contact, and Pythagoras flushes, though he makes no move to let go. “That is to say, I find your presence comforting. Please, stay?”

And who is Jason to refuse? He smiles, a real one this time, and nods, relief filling his heart. “Always, my friend,” he says. “Always.”

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 11: Behind the scenes (Part 7)

Warnings: underage drinking

Author notes: that’s the last part for this chapter! I originally planned to finish the case with chapter 11, but it seems there is too much to tell and too much investigation to be done for me to be able to complete it... You’ll have the conclusion in the next chapter! As always, do tell me what you think, and how you feel about the story! ;)

The atmosphere around the table was awkward. Uemura-san and his wife were staring intensely at me while I was trying to eat the delicious curry she had prepared, as quietly as possible. I felt so bad that I could barely swallow the food, but my hunger easily won against my pride, and I was forced to accept a second bowl of rice.

"Thank you… I'm sorry for the disturbance…" I said, almost inaudibly.

"Speak louder, express your gratefulness." The woman laughed.

We were not supposed to get along, but behind her false mockery, I could perceive she genuinely was worried about my well-being. Despite being a former enemy… She was able to care about a despicable person like me… It felt warm.

"You're right… Thank you for your hospitality." I stood up to bow to them.

"Honey, is she really the monster you described to me…?" She asked her husband.

"She looks like it, but she doesn't behave as such…"

They both looked surprised when I started laughing with them.

"I did tell you I left the Port Mafia with Dazai…" I told them once I calmed down "I… All of that is new to me and I still have a lot of troubles behaving… Like a normal person."

"If you are a normal person, why would you come for information? And why to me?" He sighed.

"I want to join the Armed Detective Agency." I stated "And I was put on a difficult case. However, due to my… Past, let's say past, my coworker… He did not fire me but that's close to it…"

"So… You're basically saying you're not a monster, but a clumsy girl who has troubles adapting…?" Hitomi-san summed up.

"That's about it…" I looked down "But I don't want to give up… A boy was kidnapped and I… I want to help him."

"But since the Agency is on the case…"

"I'm afraid they will be too late…! If they can't save him… I'm sure he won't die, but I don't want him to suffer… That's why I need information. From you, Uemura-san. You're the best I can think of…"

"Flattery won't get you my help. Besides, why should I lend you a hand? Can I even trust you? I offered you a meal, but that doesn't make us even."

"No, indeed… Pay it no mind, then. I'm glad I saw you were fine."

Bitterly, I bowed to them again, then left their home. I had hoped that, perhaps… Perhaps I could grasp that chance and convince them… But I had been delusional. No one would help me save Sakunosuke-kun. I had to investigate by myself, and I knew the perfect place for that. Hitomi-san accompanied me to the door, an apologetic look on her face.

"I'm sorry, but that's my husband's choice… I don't have access to the intelligence agency's resources anymore…"

"I'm touched that you even thought about it." I cracked a smile "Don't worry, Uemura-san isn't my last call. I just hoped that I could use… Less illegal means… Be well."

My next destination was an underground casino, formerly owned by none other than Uemura-san. It did not belong to the Port Mafia anymore, and the counter of its bar was a rich source of information. There was a man, well-known in the underworld, who was aware of anything that happened in the shadows of Yokohama. His services would be a bit pricey, but if it allowed me to save the boy… Moreover, he had never seen my face. When I used to meet informers for the Port Mafia, I would often use a mask to hide my true identity. It had been Dazai's idea… He thought my eyes were too recognisable.

The usually joyous chatters of the place brutally disappeared when I entered the casino. A woman, alone, in such a place, was never a good omen. I was not a prostitute nor a slave, and I knew what I was doing. Thus, I did know how to defend myself and no one would even dare approach me with salacious intents.

"Hey bartender." I took a stool "Give me a whisky."

"Sure thing, miss." He mocked me "Will it be all or would you like some appetisers with it?"

The entire bar laughed at me.

"I changed my mind. Give me a shot of vodka."

They laughed even more. Then quickly went quiet when I emptied the glass in one go.

"Now." I exhaled "Is the Fox here?"

"Calling for me?"

A young man appeared next to me. His malicious eyes shone with curiosity as he sat next to me.

"Look, if it's about the other night —"

"I'm not a girl you slept with." I interrupted him "Sorry to disappoint…~"

"Well, I would have remembered. Your eyes are as pretty as jewels~ So, how can the Fox help you?" He became more serious.

His order for a beer arrived and he took a sip of it.

"I need information. I'm willing to pay the price. Moreover, it has to stay a secret."

"That'll need a tip~" He hummed.

"As I said… I'm willing to pay the price."

"Sure thing, then. Tell me what you wish to know and my network will take care of it for you. May I know your name?" He smiled.

"Fuyuno Kasumi."

"That's obviously a fake one… Anyway… I'll contact you when I'm done, so —"

"I need them now."

"Hey, you… You know there is some delay…" He groaned.

"I. Need. Them. Now." I repeated, slower "I cannot wait for you to find your neighbour's cat…!"

"... How did you know…?" His cheeks reddened in shame.

"I also have my ways. However, I cannot obtain myself the things I'm looking for. Care to help me?"

"You remind me of someone, but since I didn't sleep with you… Come with me, and I'll get you what you came for."

I followed him towards his hideout, in an abandoned building of Yokohama. There, a dozen computers were working, connected to the diverse cameras of the town. The Fox made sure the windows were closed and no one could hear us before turning toward me.

"I'm listening to you."

"Two days ago, the young Taikin Sakunosuke was taken by a group of kidnappers. I want to know where he is."

His eyes widened, and he whistled.

"That's not going to be easy…! I heard about that. It's ridiculous… Besides, I'm not supposed to work for the police…"

"You're not working for the police, you're working for me." I shrugged the matter off "Can you help me or can you not? I'd prefer not losing my time."

"I can help you. There is nothing easier and, in fact, I can even tell you who and why he was taken away. Interested?" He grinned.

"Obviously. What's the price?"

"Well, I was going to ask you to remove that shirt of yours, but —"

"Do you want me to?" I raised an eyebrow "Because, honestly, you're losing our deal if I do that…"

"Rejected by low self-esteem…?! That's my first time, forgive me…" He acted dramatically before laughing "What about a million?"

"Sure. Now, my answers." I sat down.

"Coming, coming…"

He pulled out a map from a drawer and put it on the table in front of us.

"The boy is right there, in the offices of the Taikin company." He revealed "He was taken by his father. That's as simple."

"His father is away on a business trip…"

"That's true. Two days ago, a man with a passport bearing the name 'Taikin' took a plane towards China. However, the real one never left Yokohama."

"Why would he do that…?" I frowned.

"That's the tricky part of it. The thing is, Taikin is unhappy with his life. His wife is brainwashed and traumatised, and he had two sons who will end up fighting for his inheritance. And the men he paid for his family's sake betrayed him." He sighed.

"You mean, the mentalists…?"

"Yeah. His son isn't his son. He had two, right? Well, the youngest one is the mentalist Nazo Eita's."

My eyes widened. So they weren't twins…? Now that I thought about it, their eyes were of different colours… And on top of that… The illusionist had lied to me and I had not even been able to perceive it, despite my ability. I sighed. I had relied too much on The Sweet Appeals and had not paid attention to him as a being… That was my mistake. Or... Perhaps... Had he not been aware of it...?

"Is that just… A revenge…?"

"Indeed. His wife cheated on him with the mentalist and had a son. Taikin is angry and asks the other to put the woman under hypnosis to kill her lover, which she doesn't even remember to be her lover, since she was made to forget. I know, that's complicated. She doesn't even remember her second son."

"That, I could see with my own eyes… What's going to happen now…? Taikin Yumiko will go to jail, Nazo Eita is dead… And the son? He'll be abandoned…?"

The Fox did not answer me immediately, too busy typing on his computer.

"Ah! No, he's going to die, too…!" He exclaimed.

"... What…?"

"According to the recent transactions in our underworld, a bomber has just been paid to blow the Taikin mansion off." He told me "That'll be one million, please…!"

"It can't be…! Then, why was the Agency hired to protect the family…?!"

"Well, they would have found the kidnappers and the bomber, at some point, for they must have been paid to serve as decoys… And they would have lied about the culprit. That'll be an additional one hundred thousand~"

"They would have accused the last mentalist…" I mumbled "I'll pay you by the end of the day, I'm a bit in a hurry…!"

"Make sure you do, or I'll reveal the world that you are the Ogawa family's murderer." He menaced.

I stopped in my tracks.

"Wait… What…?"

"Ogawa Yōko… Did you think I would not recognise you? You used to wear a mask when you worked for the Port Mafia, but your voice is unchanged. Your personality, too. If you pay me, none will ever know about that." He simply said.

"It is knowing me very poorly to think that I won't keep my words. If I don't want to pay while preserving my secret, I could always kill you." I threatened.

"... Yeah, forget what I said…"

"I thought so. You'll be paid tonight."

[silvia7272]

ML Salt Songfic ~ 3 I Won’t Go Speechless

So, I heard a song and I was immediately filled with a sense of, the finale of the Salt SongFic. I hope you like it; I don’t really think a lot of people liked the second one but that’s alright. More on Marinette this time.

I will have to state that events in this 3-piece story isn’t canon to my fanfic ok. These were just a bunch of ideas I want to put together.

Word Count: 3118

Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue, @maribat-is-lifeblood, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @luleck, @themotherofhogwarts, @more-or-less-human-i-guess, @emmathedestroyer, @gwennex, @amayakans, @angelaaali, if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged.

***

By the time the gang had arrived back at Marinette’s place, Marinette was still fast asleep, the poor girl really was drained. Beforehand Kagami noted that Crissi would detransform soon, and not wanting to be out in the open, she hurriedly ran off to an unoccupied alleyway as the beeps increased and a green light coated the girl.

Plagg hid inside her clothes, not thinking it would be safe out in the open. She was just about able to come back out when Kagami helped her up, she smiled before continuing towards the bakery.

Of course, Tom and Sabine were in hysterics after seeing her Daughter and friend like that but soon calmed down after Rosina explained everything.

“She’s incredibly strong, she didn’t mean to hurt anyone even while being an Akuma, this is my fault, I wanted to help Crissi.” The two Parents fussed and quickly led them up to the living room, Marinette lying down and Rosina sitting in a chair with the rest either standing or sitting on available places.

Once they had fully convinced Tom and Sabine their Daughter only needed to rest, and they could go back down to the bakery was when the group really started to worry.

“Rosina are you sure you’re ok? You seemed to really be struggling to walk.” The red-haired girl shook her head.

“I’m fine guys, it wasn’t that bad anyway. Besides, it's not the worse thing that happened. Marinette’s safe, that’s all that matters” They didn’t seem convinced but relented anyway, there was no use arguing with a girl that would willingly run through fire.

.

Don’t ask.

“I can see it now; everyone will be on their hands and knees just begging Marinette to give them another chance. As if they deserve that” Chloé ranted, the topic was bound to come up.

“Yes, now that they know the truth, they may start asking to become friends again. As long as all three of you have strong wills, they should take the hint soon.” Kagami said, she was worried for her friends and wished for some way to desperately help.

“I doubt that, it took them this long to figure out Lila was lying, they’re bound to never relent.” Chloé fell back in her chair as Kagami pats her head, the blonde jumped at the contact but didn’t shrug off the affection.

“Soo~ what are we gonna do?” They all ponded before the redhead had an idea.

“Hey hey. I think I know.” And they continued to make a plan, they would need Marinette’s consent of course, but just knew the girl would want to and it wouldn’t be too hard. Time passed and Marinette still hadn’t woken up but her breathing had evened out so they knew she was sleeping peacefully.

One by one they left but promised to visit and call later on before it was just Rosina and Marinette. Since they were both roommates.

Black and red soon entered the young girl's vision as the tiny gods sat on her lap.

“I’m so sorry Rosina, I had no idea this was going to happen. Are you sure you’re ok?” Tikki was ever so worried about her. She was trapped within Marinette, unable to help in case Hawkmoth saw her, at the end of the day, her identity could not be compromised.

She didn’t expect a hand to pet her so head affectionately.

“Its ok Tikki, I’m just glad we were able to fix this mess, I’m just glad it was only me that was hurt.” Plagg wanted to say something but couldn’t. If he could’ve foreseen this, he would’ve been able to stop thi-

Rub

“And thank you Plagg. If you hadn’t been able to find me, we would still be there by now. So, thank you. Oh wait, you need to recharge right? Here I’ll go get some cheese” Before they could protest, she fell onto the floor, a grunt following soon afterwards. Surprisingly that was all it took to wake Marinette up.

“W-What happened? … Rosy, why are you on the floor?” Marinette was worried, she knew she could be weird but, there were sofas for a reason.

But it seemed she was full of surprises. She learnt that there would be too many to keep track off.

Rosina picked herself up from the ground and rubbed the back of her head.

“I just fell, don’t worry Mari I’m alright, but are you ok Mari? Do you… Remember anything?” Marinette widened her eyes before some tears fell down her cheeks.

Rosina tried walking to her as fast as she could. She held her in her arms, asking Tikki to watch out for any Akuma’s, Tikki nodded before being on guard. Plagg followed suit.

“Hey… It's all ok now, nothing bad happened ok, we’re all safe”

“B-But I let myself… I hurt you so much. I hurt everyone. I don’t deserve to be Ladybug anymore” Rosina had to stop Marinette from taking her earrings out, she was still so hurt.

“Marinette. Please listen. I know it's tearing you down because you let your emotions become the best of you. But that’s just who we are, we are all human and we all make mistakes, but what separates us are the choices we make afterwards. So please Marinette. Don’t quit being Ladybug because of one mishap” Marinette stared into her eyes, they didn’t hold pity or resentment.

They held kindness and concern.

All for her.

.

.

.

She couldn’t help but lean forward.

***

Well… It was the next day.

And if they were prepared or not didn’t matter. They had to face their fears whether they were ready or not.

Luka and Kagami had already agreed to meet up with them after school, their plan should be in action by then. The bluenette took a deep breath in and out, her hands were fidgeting before a warm hand entwined with hers.

She looked up to see Rosina smiling her usual smile. She nodded back and the three approached the building, waiting for whatever would happen.

“Marinette, we’re so soo sorry for everything we said” Alya stated, trying to approach said girl but she hid behind the redhead. Chloé stood in front of both, glaring at all of them.

“If any of you had any brain cells, you’d know that Marinette wouldn’t want to speak to any of you now, probably never. So, do yourself a favour and stay out of our way” The group glared at the blonde, but she wasn’t wrong.

Maybe…?

Nooo. Marinette would surely forgive them. She was the sweetest girl in the whole school, they made a few mistakes, but they realised now, and they would surely be forgiven.

…Right?

“I wasn’t talking to you Chloé, do you mind moving out of the way so I can talk to my bestie, I want to make things right” Alya glared back, how dare she lecture her on this. Chloé and Marinette weren’t best friends, Chloé was just using Marinette until they understood Lila was lying. Nothing else.

“You can start by getting lost”

“Don’t you start Chloé. You bullied her for years and she easily forgave you, of course Marinette will forgive us.” Alix stated, she looked incredibly smug at that moment. The rest held the same expression, they had been Marinette’s friend for years. Of course, they could make things go back to the way they were before.

“But its Marinette’s choice” Rosina squeezed her friends’ hand to comfort her, she still wasn’t used to this whole argument thing yet, but she knew she had to defend her friend.

“She’s right” That voice… It was?

“Adrien, what's gotten into you? It was all a big misunderstanding, Marinette’s going to forgive us anyway so why wouldn’t we want to make things better?” Alya was shocked, he was always so reliable in these types of situations, now he looked sorta remorseful? No that couldn’t be, the class was just tricked that was all.

“And Marinette is her own person, she can decide and choose what to do, not be forced into it” When Marinette tried to look at Adrien he turned away, did he regret what he had said, did he feel remorseful forever telling her to take the high road? Marinette wanted to figure it out but knew it didn’t matter at that point. He already made his bed, what happens now is his choice, she shouldn’t have to make decisions for him.

“Stop it” The whole class turned towards the bluenette. Surprised that her smile was no longer on her face anymore. She was just looking at the ground, gripping Rosina’s hand.

“I’m sorry I got Akumatized and hurt you. I’m sorry I subjected you to that. And I do forgive you, because I know that would be the right thing to do” The class was ecstatic, things could go back to the way they were. Marinette can join in on the fun now, she wouldn’t have to be alone. Of course, they’ll try their hardest to make it up to her, but they knew they wouldn’t need to work too hard since it was Marinette. She would forgive and forget.

“However,” Wait… That didn’t sound good.

“I will never forget this, so don’t even think for a minute that we can be friends again” Her expression was of self-confidence, and if circumstances were different, they would be oh so proud of Marinette sticking up for herself.

But it wasn’t.

That declaration was meant for them and whether or not they choose to accept it was up to them.

Marinette grabbed her friend’s hands and pushed passed her former bestie. She wasn’t hurt anymore.

She would not be taken advantage of ever again.

The hand intertwined with hers would certainly make sure of it.

***

“Ok, I understood the plan. But how did they find out about it?” Marinette pointed to some people, having been accustomed to them a long time beforehand. Chloé looked away before being nudged by Kagami.

“Chloé… Care to explain?” The blonde gave a subtle glare to the short-haired girl, but she only giggled in retort.

“Look, I thought since we were going to do this fantastic plan of ours, we should have some help in this department. Plus, wouldn’t you just love to see the look on Lila’s face once she finds out you actually know them?” Marinette was still glaring at the girl, this was meant to be small and to express her voice. Not turn into a concert.

“But still” She wined, a hand wrapped around her shoulder, causing her to look up to and see her Uncle.

Not by blood but it was pretty close.

“Look, it still can be a little thing, Mari. We didn’t invite any of the public to watch this stunt, but what's music without some equipment to help. We just gave you a mic.”

“And a stage, and clothing, and lights-” Marinette counted on her fingers the amount of equipment that had been brought to the park. Jesus, how did he get this here so quick?

“These were necessary for the greater good Mari. Besides, you need to stand out along with your music” Marinette still looked unsure, but a hand grasped hers which made her lookup.

“I believe in you Mari. You have such a pretty voice; you should show it to the whole world to show how fantastic it is.” She opened her arms in exaggeration which may have caused a slight blush to appear on the pig-tailed girl.

“Alright. As stay you’ll, I-I mean as long as you’ll stay with me” The Silver-eyed girl nodded her head before they hugged.

Several hands appeared around the girls as well.

“You better not be leaving any of us out Dupain” Marinette cheekily rolled her eyes before hugging back.

.

The stage was set with no crowd in sight. But that was fine. She didn’t think her nerves would be able to take it, any eyes on her that she didn’t know, she’d rather roll over and die of embarrassment.

But this was for her. To express herself and all of her feelings.

In a song.

♫Here comes a wave

Meant to wash me away.

A tide that is taking me under♫

Wow, her voice was phenomenal, of course they had heard her before when they all hung out at her house once, but they were messing about. This was serious.

♫Swallowing sand

Left with nothing to say.

My voice drowned out in the thunder♫

Marinette looked at her friends again, they had all decided to stay with her through thick and thin, she smiled as she turned back.

♫But I won't cry

And I won't start to crumble

Whenever they try

To shut me or cut me down♫

She was talking about her class. For too long had they been making her do anything and everything for them. And she was finally expressing herself, without any help from an Akuma.

♫I won't be silenced

You can't keep me quiet

Won't tremble when you try it

All I know is I won't go speechless~♫

She closed her eyes as she could feel a different type of power surging around her.

Confidence.

♫'Cause I'll breathe

When they try to suffocate me

Don't you underestimate me

'Cause I know that I won't go speechless!♫

People could hear the music of a girl singing, and they wished to investigate. Finding the source of the music was easy, and when they saw that it was a teenager no less, they were very impressed. Marinette’s friends couldn’t believe how popular this show was getting, it was incredible, and they were glad, Marinette deserved it.

The classmates of Bustier’s were all out, they wanted to meet up and devise a plan of how to get Marinette back and on friendly terms. This must’ve been some side effect of the Akuma, she didn’t really mean what she said of course. But they only wanted everything to go back to the way it was, back before Chloé and Marinette had this fake friendship.

But then they heard it.

♫Written in stone

Every rule, every word

Centuries-old and unbending♫

The park! They sprinted to see what the commotion was about. And they saw someone with blue hair singing on the stage.

Marinette?

♫"Stay in your place"

"Better seen and not heard"

Well, now that story is ending♫

What was she doing there? Why was she singing this song? There were so many questions circling around the teenager's heads. But then they started listening to the song.

They listened to the lyrics.

♫'Cause I

I cannot start to crumble

So come on and try

Try to shut me and cut me down♫

Was it about them? Had they really hurt her that much because of this misunderstanding?

.

.

♫I won't be silenced

You can't keep me quiet

Won't tremble when you try it

All I know is I won't go speechless♫

No… It wasn’t a misunderstanding. It wasn’t a misunderstanding at all. They had willingly believed Lila at face value, they didn’t check anything, or ask for any proof, they just foolishly believed her.

And when Marinette tried to warn everyone that Lila was lying, they just blew her off like it meant nothing, they tried to reason with themselves that it had been because she was jealous of Lila and how close she was with Adrien.

But in reality…

♫Speechless♫

They had actively replaced her.

And they didn’t want to admit it so easily.

♫Let the storm in

I cannot be broken

No, I won't live unspoken

'Cause I know that I won't go speechless♫

Adrien had been excruciatingly lucky. If that ring on his finger was anything to go by at least. By a miracle, Rosina had found it in her heart to give Plagg back to him, she, of course, didn’t know his identity considering the 3 paged letter she sent him apologising profusely about having to use Plagg and asking if they could hang out at some point.

Behind closed doors of course.

♫Try to lock me in this cage

I won't, just lay me down and die

I will take these broken wings

And watch me burn across the sky♫

The young boy didn’t realise how much his former friend was hurting inside. He had honestly thought the situation wasn’t as bad as he believed. That Marinette would be strong enough to rise above it and come back even tougher.

But the previous day's events made him realise how wrong he was. They were all lucky that Rosina was there or Marinette would’ve defeated Ladybug and Chat Noir in no time.

♫Hear the echo saying I! Won't be silenced♫

He wanted to make things right, but he knew that Marinette would need time even thinking about accepting any apologies, and he wanted to give the girl space. A lot of it.

He would wait until she was ready for whatever apology he could form, if he even could apologise.

He would hope and pray that she would hear him out… But again, it was her choice, and he would respect her wishes.

♫Though you wanna see me tremble when you try it

All I know is I won't go speechless

Speechless!♫

But he also couldn’t help looking at the bluenette. She looked so… Confident.

So… What's the word?

Miraculous?

How strange. She had the same postures as Ladybug…

♫'Cause I'll breathe!

When they try to suffocate me!

Don't you underestimate me!

'Cause I know that I won't go speechless!

All I know is I won't go speechless!♫

But he was regretful of everything.

He didn’t mind if the girl would ever believe him.

♫Speechless!♫

Screams of cheers were the last thing on the girl's mind as she opened her eyes to confront a crowd of people before her.

She was extremely surprised and flabbergasted, how did this happen?

This was meant to be a small thing Jagged what the hell?

But her thoughts were interrupted as arms flew around her neck, enveloping her in a hug. She would’ve lost her bal- no wait she did.

“Rosina!” She would’ve given the girl a stern look but failed to follow through on it.

“You did it Mari. You were amazing out there” It was then that Marinette realised something; as the crowd cheered, even more, something unexpected happened and her friends cheered from behind.

She wasn’t going to go speechless anymore.

Everyone else had.

She couldn’t wait to see what other adventures she would continue to have in the future.

Her future.

Their future.

Because it would be fine if she continued to trust her friends.

…

And maybe more.

***

The end. Oh boy its finally over. Definitely preferred the first one over the sequels but you guys asked for them and now the trilogy is complete. Hazar.

Well anyway thought you’d like it as it’s a little break from the other fics and its ended.

Hope you all know why I chose this song out of any others, hehe.

[be-dazzled]

FT Rare Pairs Week 2020 Day 6

DAY 6: Fantasy Pairing: Rogue Cheney x Minerva Orland Part 1: Longing

Writer’s Corner: I really let go of myself with this one. I just loooove Roguerva. Took me a long time but the important thing is that yes, I made it. Hahaha. Last would be my Day 7 Entry, which is Navia. Please, look forward to it!

Masterlist

---

05:30 P.M.

Rogue could feel the rise of the embarrassment up his head. Everyone was looking at them, all those eyes trained at the little family coming into the front of the temple for a photo memorabilia. He wasn’t used to that kind of attention. He was a shadow, a cast hiding behind the darkness. No one ever paid attention to the shadow.

“Papa?”

Rogue’s down-casted eyes shifted to the little voice that called up to him – Raina, in her traditional kimono, a spitting image of the woman holding her hand; the other slender hand she offered to him. Rogue took it without hesitation, sheathing her small hands within his much larger ones. The thin line on her worried face broke into a wider grin. It was so contagious that Rogue caught himself also smiling.

“Next family please!”

Familiar with the surroundings, it was Kaname who led the faux family to their spots, arranging them under a decorated arc filled with colorful flowers and lanterns.

“Please stand in the middle.” The person behind the image-taker gestured towards the center, adjusting the figures to fit them into his monitor. “Just a little closer.” His gestures wanted the three to squeeze closer. The distance was translating into his lens and he didn’t mean it in the literal sense. The honey-haired young man scratched the back of his head, unsure how to say there was a lack of warmth he expected from a family. “A little bit closer.” Now, he was feeling uncomfortable as the ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ shot his way a menacing glare.

It was very tempting to just strike down the man with his dragon force. Has he any idea what he was asking of Rogue? Forcing the man to invade Ojuo’s personal space? No one even dared, not even the Guild Master, coming close to the woman. Then, suddenly, his internal one-sided battle was disrupted. He withdrew the menacing glare from the poor guy and glanced at Minerva who was now standing close next to him; so close that their shoulders brushed.

“Let’s not waste any more time.” She wasn’t looking at him but Rogue was sure she was talking to the dragon slayer.

“Y-yes, Ojuo.”

But brushing shoulders wasn’t enough.

“They are so shy.” The middle aged ladies giggled behind Kaname, prompting the caretaker to suggest that Rogue put his arm around his ‘wife’. The man was hesitant but Minerva was surprisingly reassuring that she wasn’t going to cut his arm off. So, freely, albeit nervously, Rogue put his arm around Minerva’s waist.

Then, flash. The white light nearly blinded the dragon slayer.

“Alright! Another one.” Because the kid was the only one smiling in the monitor. “I-if the couple w-wouldn’t mind.” He had to rethink that suggestion as an identical dark, murderous aura enveloped the “couple”.

“Yey! Another!” All thanks to the little ball of sunshine bouncing in excitement, the dark aura and the matching dagger looks quickly dissipated. “Mama and Papa should kiss now?”

“K-kiss?!” Rogue and Minerva had a shared expression on their faces: utter shock on the former; a slight mortification on the latter, to which Rogue took an offense. He wouldn’t dare do it but would it really hurt if Sabertooth’s ace didn’t act like kissing him was the grossest thing she was ever to do? Sure, it wasn’t the best idea but…

“Great idea, Miss Raina!” Kaname clapped her hands together, egging the young miss about her bright – crazy – idea.

“WHAT?!”

“Fro thinks so too!”

“Don’t encourage her, Frosch.” Rogue whisper-yelled at his Exceed.

“Don’t parents usually kiss?” The so called ‘parents’ looked down at the small dictator staring up at them, eyes rounded in that awfully cute pleading look. But both parents knew better. Her evil expression was telling, ‘I got you both falling in my trap.’

So evil!

Rogue wasn’t going to bite. He wasn’t born yesterday. Minerva, on the other hand… she wasn’t the kind of woman who would easily give in to pressure.

“They’re just probably shy around people.” One middle-aged woman suggested, making some excuse on their behalf.

“But they were so bold earlier in the changing room.”

Rogue was forced to recall that shameful, yet oddly titillating, experience in the family dressing room.

“But kissing is natural between married couples.”

The shadow dragon slayer wasn’t actually listening to the murmurs running around that middle-aged circle. He was too busy pushing the memory down the back of his mind to actually care. It had a weird way of raising the temperature and thinning the air around him. And he did not need any of those weird things messing up with his brain – and his innocent body.s

“We must… commit to our roles.”

Rogue hadn’t had the time – or the mental presence – to even decipher that code when suddenly Minerva had her slender fingers gripped at the collar of his own kimono, pulling him by it and crashing her lips against his.

It wasn’t as he expected. Not like he’d ever expected having to kiss Minerva. That thought never crossed his mind. But here he was now, his lips pressing against the woman’s – warm, soft, tender lips. He’d never given it any thought but kissing surprisingly felt really nice. He didn’t know what it was – a really good feeling, a sensation that made his head all fuzzy but also so focused on the woman right in front of him – that pushed him to dare, to step out of his comfort zone and shamelessly moved his lips over hers.

“T-t-that’s enough, Rogue.”

Minerva shoved him away, pulling him back to his senses. It got Rogue apologizing for what he tried to do; a little guilty and ashamed of himself for overstepping. But a part of him, that smallest part that was a bit more freeing, convinced Rogue he shouldn’t be sorry. But that part he’d always push at the back burner.

Rogue honestly didn’t know what came over him but that unexplainable feeling had him seeing things too, like the light blush that powdered Minerva’s cheeks rosy.

06:00 PM

No one spoke between them. They just continued weaving the Festival, led by the ever enthusiastic little dictator as she bounced amongst the crowd, holding a photo in her hands.

“Lady Raina sure looks energetic.”

“Yes.” Both Rogue and Minerva answered in unison, glancing at each other when they realized the sudden synchrony. Strange. Then, both swiftly looked away trying not to get caught. Minerva, however, was quicker to recover as compared to Rogue, who was still fighting the strange feeling warming his cheeks.

As they continue on foot, something caught the little lady’s attention, pulling her to a sudden halt. Her caretaker walked up beside, both palms planted on her knees as she read the announcement for her mistress’ sake.

“Look, Miss Raina, they’re having fireworks later tonight.”

Rogue wasn’t even that older than the young caretaker but she was acting more like the young miss as they both had a shared sparkle in their eyes, not the identical amused stares off the sign.

“Raina wants to see the fireworks!”

“Kaname too!”

“Fro three!”

Minerva, the voice of reason, quickly interrupted. “It’s a little late, Lady Raina. We need to return to your home as Rogue and I need to travel back by train.”

“Actually,” Kaname answered, her heart eyes glued to every word on the announcement, “the last train has left around four p.m.”

“What?!” Minerva’s dark green eyes uncharacteristically widened in shock and the coming trouble. “Why didn’t you inform us earlier?” It quite bothered her more than it should and it was showing. An expression no one would ever put next to the name Minerva – freaking out.

So, while Minerva was dealing with the surge of thoughts overloading her brain, the little devil seized the opportunity to make her move.

“Papa?”

Raina knew exactly how to play this and which parent to flash the expression no adult ever said ‘no’ to.

“Let’s see the fireworks together.”

“S-s-sure.”

07:59 PM

“You shouldn’t let a child dictate you, Rogue. You are the adult.”

Rogue respected the woman, he did. He really respected Minerva. He was somewhat the same as she was – reserved, rational and very sensible. But there were days when he wished that Minerva would loosen up a little. Like today.

“But, Ojuo–”

“–We shouldn’t answer nor tolerate a child’s every whim and capricious. They need discipline.” She continued lecturing the dragon slayer.

To Minerva, it was seizing an opportunity to call out her subordinates and correct their misconducts, well, misconduct in Minerva’s eyes. To the rest who didn’t know them, it was a picture of a wife lecturing her husband how to raise their child. It looked like the mistress was winning.

“If you let them take advantage of you like this, you can never demand from these wolves in sheep’s clothing.” She continued to a half-listening dragon slayer.

The reason for his scolding interrupted, unknowing of the position she put her father in.

“Look! They’re about to start.” She exclaimed, grabbing on the two adults and pulling the startled couple towards the gathering of people. The five of them grouped behind the protective railing and waited for the sparklers to light the evening sky.

“Maybe we should learn from these kids, Ojuo. There’s absolutely nothing wrong about stopping to smell the roses.”

Or in their case, watch some fireworks.

Minerva opened her mouth to shot back at the insolent dragon slayer, who took advantage of the brief silence to shame her. But the sound of the first cracker exploding into the dark sky stunned her briefly, transfixing her on the spot as all she could do was watch the magical shadow of the fireworks dance on the side of Rogue’s face. For a moment and for some unknown reason, Minerva could hear her own heartbeat, feeling the hard thump against her chest. Something else pulled her attention and her eyes magnetically drifted to the figure carried in the dragon slayer’s arms, reaching out to the spectacle in the sky as if she could catch them in her small hands. Catching herself staring and remembering it was rude, Minerva averted her eyes towards the heavens and, along with the rest of the village, watched as magic light up the darkened sky. It was beautiful but that lit-up sky paled next to the warm scene beside her, to that warmth Minerva had always been longing for – her father’s love.

9:00 PM

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

Minerva wasn’t too loud but might be enough to surprise the sleeping little miss, as she spat the words with much condemnation. She was confused and mad about being all confused.

“Ojuo, I think we should keep our voice down.” Rogue tried not to sound too indignant as he slowly and carefully lowered the sleeping figure on the large mattress. He wondered why Lady Minerva has been staring at him since after the fireworks show, twitching her face like she was grappling an internal battle. And losing it. “We do not wish to wake up the princess.” Rogue pulled the cover over Raina’s small figure sprawled on the bed, her chin was sticking out. He didn’t want his daughter to catch a cold.

And with every second that passed watching Rogue take care of the young lady, Minerva was getting pretty annoyed.

“Doesn’t make sense at all.” She obeyed the dragon slayer: less loud, but more confused.

“What does?” Kaname appeared out of nowhere but it didn’t seem to bother the spatial mage whose disbelieving eyes were still trained at the scene playing before her.

“This.” She said, brows meeting in the middle, nodding towards Rogue.

“I don’t see anything unusual about it.” Kaname was standing close to her now, which Minerva seemed to mind. She walked a few steps away from the helper, who had that a crazy smile on her face and an even crazier glint in her eyes.

“You and Mr. Rogue would have to share a room, Ms. Minerva.”

“What?!”

Rogue slapped his own mouth for reacting too loud. Good thing his daughter… good thing the kid was so wiped out that she only stirred to the side and resumed snoring like a drill.

“W-w-what do you mean… share a room? An unmarried man and woman i-is not allowed to share t-t-the same bed!”

His eyes darted back and forth from the woman who shamelessly suggested – pushed – the ridiculous notion and the lady who appeared to welcome it. Wait, what? Lady Minerva wasn’t opposed to…

“Let’s not overstay our welcome, Rogue.” She said, and stopped at the door frame without looking back. “Point us to the room, Kaname.”

And that little incident in the changing room flashed back Rogue’s very eyes.

Rogue? Sleeping with Lady Minerva? Even his heart couldn’t keep up with the idea. Then, he remembered the softness of her lips and Rogue’s heart had a whole new reason to marathon.

“Let’s go, Rogue.”

“Y-y-yes... Ojuo.”

“Are you running out of breath?”

---

7:00 AM

Rogue rubbed the backside of his shoulders. Maybe it was a bad idea refusing Lady Minerva’s offer to just sleep on the bed next to her. In his defense, it wasn’t right to share a mattress with a maiden and he was regretting it now. Sometimes, he wished he was just as clueless and shameless as Sting and sometimes, he wished Lady Minerva would get some clue. Did she just offer to sleep with anyone? Well, not ‘sleep with’ in the common context… was she okay kissing anyone, too? All this thinking about Lady Minerva was driving him off the wall. It shouldn’t. As a matter of fact, he shouldn’t be thinking about Lady Minerva, at all.

But how could he not when she boldly pulled him against her and claimed his first kiss? No! He shouldn’t be thinking about the kiss. Lady Minerva had probably kissed a lot of men.

“You seem dissatisfied with me, Rogue.”

Rogue shuddered at the voice. He only realized now that he was glaring at the woman sitting opposite him in the train.

“I-I’m sorry, Ojuo. I didn’t mean to... stare.” He wasn’t going to admit he looked ready to strangle the woman thinking she had kissed a hundred men. “Please excuse me, Ojuo. I need to use the washroom.” Rogue slid out from his booth, carefully lifting and moving his Exceed peacefully sleeping on his lap. Oh, how he wished he could get the same peace.

7:10 AM

Minerva watched him leave until he disappeared behind the door to the public toilet. She wasn’t quite sure why he looked mad at her. Yesterday, she wouldn’t even care. But now, every little thing Rogue did, she took notice. And every slightest thing about him bothered her.

“It doesn’t make sense.” The Lady barked, ladnding a fist on the leather she sat on, getting so mad not understanding herself, and waking up poor Frosch.

“Lady Minerva?” he sleepily asked, rubbing both eyes with his little fists.

“I apologize, Frosch.”

She was only answered by two confused half-closing eyes and little ‘hmmm’ before Frosch returned to snoring again.

Minerva couldn’t help chuckle. She always found Frosch cute. Actually, it wasn’t only Frosch that she thought was cute and that was the notion she’d been grappling with ever since… ever since… since when?! Since when had she been thinking that no non-sense shadow dragon was cute?

Minerva refused to answer that. Then, she decided she needed to splash her face with water; that ought to clear her mind. She slid out of her train couch, careful not to wake up Frosch, and headed to the toilet. Rogue was done using it, just stepping out of the door. He shifted on the side to make room for Minerva.

“Thank you, Rogue.”

Rogue nodded in response but unlike how he’d usually act around the Lady, he bravely met her forest eyes. That same feeling hit him again, one that got his mind hazy but focused at the same time, the one that pushed Rogue to dare. He stopped the sliding door with his bare hand, getting squeezed between the edge and the frame.

“Ojou…”

“What are you–mmm”

The dragon slayer pushed Minerva into the washroom, slammed the sliding door behind him and captured the rest of her words in his mouth. She wanted to push him and tell him off but her body refused to listen. All reasons abandoned, Minerva’s slender fingers grasped on his coat, clutching the garment in her fists and pushing herself up against him, wanting Rogue’s presence all around her.

“Ojuo…” He moaned against her lips, making Minerva cling to him desperately. “Ojuo…”

“Ojuo!”

The concern in Rogue’s voice quickly dragged Minerva out of her reverie. She wasn’t in the train’s washroom anymore. She wasn’t clinging to the dragon slayer. Minerva was now back at her own couch and stared into the eyes of a confused and worried Shadow Dragon Slayer.

“Your knuckles are turning white, Ojuo. Are you alright?”

The spatial mage looked down at her fist resting on the leather, drained of color. She released her fingers immediately, realizing that she was already hurting herself.

“Yes.” She only spared Rogue a glance, masking her embarrassment with her usual indifference, then, turned away from him completely to do something more safe than fantasizing about the unwitting dragon slayer. Minerva propped her hand under her chin and watch the green pasture pass by the train window. She internally thanked the dragon slayer for not prying into the real reason because the spatial mage herself could not offer the man an answer.

Because even to Minerva, “it doesn’t make sense,” what she was starting to feel towards Rogue Cheney.

---

Bonus Chapter 6.5:

Minerva was just looking at the request board, deciding which S-Class job to take next, a mission her and Yukino could work on together. She needed sometime to be away from the other half of Sabertooth’s Twin Dragons – the shadow half. She hadn’t come to terms about this strong feeling she started to harbor ever since that one job she did with Rogue.

“Minerva-sama?”

“A moment, Yukino. I haven’t decided on the request yet.” She answered without even looking at the owner of the voice.

“You have a visitor.”

Curiosity made her pull away from staring at the request board and towards Sabertooth’s resident Celestial Mage.

“Visitor?”

“Mama!”

The child appeared from behind the Celestial Mage, raced towards Minerva and threw her arms around her legs, her height only reaching the Spatial Mage’s belly.

“Did you grow taller?” She asked, patting the top of Raina’s head, who looked up at her, stretching her mouth into that bright smile Minerva really missed. “Only this much!” Raina answered animatedly, flatting her palm on top of her head to say, “I’ve only grown this much!”

Minerva chuckled. She acknowledged Kaname’s presence and returned to her conversation with Raina, telling her that she had learned spatial magic too, just like Minerva’s. She had that radiant smile, all the while, telling Raina she’d train her if she liked. Her unprecedented warmth towards the child confused the hell out of her guild-mates who were just standing by the side, watching the scene unfold, wrapping their little heads around the idea that some little kid – who had the same dango buns as Lady Minerva – just called Sabertooth’s Ace mama.

“Oh my!” Yukino grew red realizing that Minerva-sama had been intimate with a man and conceived a child they all didn’t know. Being the only one brave enough to dare, the Celestial Mage asked the question everyone had in mind. “M-m-minerva-sama… who… w-who is the f-father?”

“Raina?” Came the voice from behind the flustered Sabertooth mage.

“Papa!” She abandoned her mother and ran into the open arms of the Shadow Dragon Slayer. He picked her up and carried the little miss, asking, “How have you been, Princess?”

“Elexent! (Excellent!)” She beamed at him, her plum orbs disappearing.

And the rest of Sabertooth witnessed, for the very first time, how Rogue Cheney radiated with a brightness that rivaled Sting’s White Dragon Slayer Magic. After recovering from the brief shock, Yukino and the rest of Team Sabertooth demanded some answers, throwing the family questions like…

“What the hell is this commotion about?” Sabertooth’s Guild Master appeared annoyed, probably just coming out from filing all the paper works when he heard the noise. “Whose kid is that?” He asked the Dragon Slayer carrying the child.

And almost choked on his own saliva when the little kid introduced herself.

“I’m Raina and they are my parents, Papa Rogue and Mama Minerva.”

“P-papa Rogue a-a-and O-ojuo’s daughter?”

Sting Eucliffe turned white and not because of his White Dragon Slayer magic. A lot of question were probably running in his head, disbelieving his own ears when the kid claimed Sabertooth’s Ace and his own partner as his parents.

“Yup!”

But worse of all, how come Rogue never told him he was harboring a secret child with Lady Minerva?!

“In that case, hi. I’m Uncle Sting.” He extended his hand to shake Raina’s little one and showed her a toothy grin that mirrored Rogue’s secret child.

“Hello, Uncle Sting!”

Rogue would have a lot of time to explain later and he better start with how, when and where did that affair started and how come he never told him. For now, he’d like to welcome this little princess into his family.

tags: @ftguildevents @fairytail-rarepairs

[bcrsenthor]

LORE | MUSINGS | ABOUT | AESTHETIC

JESSICA CHASTAIN // have you met THE BARSEN’THOR / OUTLANDER yet? SHE is a THIRTY-THREE year old DEMIGIRL TWI’LEK. they’re originally from BALMORRA and now show loyalty to THE NEUTRAL. they are best known for being an ALLIANCE COMMANDER, and i hear they’re pretty DILIGENT yet also STUBBORN at times; i hope they survive the clone wars. (YELLOW, 22, GMT, SHE/THEY/HE)

THE PAST

The Barsen’thor, given name Melyn Nos, become a Jedi Initiate at three years old, found on a ransacked ship leaving Balmorra by Jedi Knights Syo Bakarn and Satele Shan.

As a youngling, she was present for the Sacking of Coruscant, and attack by the Empire that destroyed the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. This attack inspired her to dedicate her life to healing.

As a Padawan, she was sent to Tython to train under Jedi Master Yuon Parr.

Yuon Parr fell sick with a mysterious illness, and along with the Trandoshan Qyzen Fess Melyn travelled to Coruscant to find a cure.

Melyn learnt a powerful shielding ritual from the Noetikon of Secrets that allowed her to protect others from the illness at the cost of her own strength.

Melyn travelled the galaxy to cure other Jedi Masters who had fallen sick, taking on Tharan Cedrax and Holiday along with her as allies.

After confronting and saving the source of the illness, former Jedi Parkanas Tark, Melyn was granted the title Barsen’thor as recognition of her sacrifice and dediction.

As a representative of the Jedi Order, Melyn was sent to mend relations with the Rift Alliance, an alliance of Republic planets that threatened to secede due to fading faith in the Republic.

Here, Melyn met Nadia Grell, a Force-sensitive Sarkhai who would soon become her Padawan.

While assisting the Rift Alliance, Melyn became aware of the Children of the Emperor, Imperial Sleeper Agents programmed with alternate personalities to keep their true identities hidden from even themselves.

The War between the Empire and the Republic was renewed. Melyn and the Rift Alliance were given a new task of hunting down the Children of the Emperor, forming alliances with those who could support the Republic War Effort along the way.

Eventually, on Corellia, Melyn was able to confront and save the First Son, the leader of the Children of the Emperor. As recognition of her skill in mending the rift and saving the First Son, Melyn was granted a position upon the Jedi Council.

Over the following year, Melyn assisted the Republic War Effort wherever possible, eventually taking part in the Korriban Incursion and meeting SIS Agent Theron Shan, son of the then-Grandmaster of the Jedi Order.

Theron voiced suspicion of his superior motives in ordering the Korriban Incursion and looked to Melyn as an ally, calling her to Manaan to investigate his findings.

On Manaan, Melyn met Sith Lord Lana Beniko, a contact of Theron’s who had similar suspicions of her own superiors.

Together, Lana, Theron and Melyn discovered that their superiors were not loyal to the Republic or the Empire, but rather to the Revanites, a group of fanatical cultists who claimed to follow the teachings of Darth Revan.

The Revanites planned to assist the reborn Revan in his plan to resurrect the Emperor of the Sith. The Coalition was formed of forces from both the Republic and the Empire, under the command of Satele Shan and Darth Marr respectfully, to stop the Revanites plans, however, they were unsuccessful.

The Reborn Emperor attacked Ziost. Despite efforts made by Lana, Theron and Melyn, the Emperor destroyed all life on the planet to fuel himself.

A new faction known as the Eternal Empire made itself known, based on the planet Zakuul and ruled by the former Sith Emperor, Valkorion, and his children Arcann and Vaylin.

Melyn and Darth Marr were captured by the Eternal Empire, with Marr being killed when he refused to bow to Valkorion.

Arcann betrayed his father, killing Valkorion’s body. However, Valkorion’s spirit attached itself to Melyn’s. Fearing his father’s wrath, Arcann accused Melyn of killing Valkorion, entrapping her in carbonite as punishment for ‘her’ crime.

Five years passed, and Melyn was rescued by Lana Beniko, the droids T3-M4 and HK-55 and a former member of the Zakuul military Koth Vortena, who hoped she could use her skills to save the galaxy from the Eternal Empire, which had ravaged the galaxy while Melyn was trapped.

While escaping Zakuul, they were assisted by Senya Tirall, a former Knight of Zakuul, who Melyn later discovered was the former wife of Valkorion and mother to Vaylin and Arcann.

Valkorion’s spirit remained in Melyn’s body, sending her nightmares, occasionally speaking to her and offering her his power. She accepted his power only once, to protect Lana from a supposedly deadly attack.

The group travelled to Asylum, where they were attacked by Arcann. HK-55 sacrificed himself to protect Melyn, but despite this she was gravely injured, saved only by Valkorion’s power sustaining herself.

After the encounter on Asylum, the group travelled to Odessen, where Lana and Theron had built an Alliance of individuals from Republic, Imperial and neutral backgrounds joined together by their desire to defeat Zakuul.

Due to her history leading alliances, open-minded nature and strength as a former Jedi, Melyn was unanimously chosen as the Commander of the Alliance.

The Alliance began its war against Zakuul, finding allies where it could and aiming to defeat Arcann.

During this time, Melyn entered into a relationship with Lana, trusting her completely despite their warring factions.

After Melyn’s supposedly final confrontation with Arcann she believed that he had perished, however, he had been saved and spared by his mother Senya. Melyn chose to allow Senya to leave with Arcann, trusting in her ability to redeem her son.

Vaylin took control of Zakuul’s Eternal Empire, and their attacks became even more ruthless, and the Alliance struggled to defend against her.

Vaylin discovered the Alliance’s base of operations and launched an attack on Odessen. During this attack, Melyn was forced to choose between saving the twi’lek Vette or the Mandalorian Torian Cadera. 

Melyn chose to save Torian, and Vette was killed in front of her by Vaylin. In retaliation, Melyn killed Vaylin, which is a choice she lived to regret.

Finally, Melyn’s last task was to travel to Zakuul and claim the Eternal Throne, which would allow her to end Zakuuls reign.

After claiming the Eternal Throne, Valkorion attempted to take total control over Melyn’s body, intending to use her as his new vessel and return to power. 

With assistance from Senya, Arcann and Vaylin’s spirit, Melyn was able to fight against Valkorion and regain control of her body.

Melyn renamed the Alliance the Eternal Alliance, and handed control of Zakuul back to its politicians. The Eternal Alliance remained to maintain the peace between Zakuul and the rest of the galaxy, and to help the damaged Republic and Imperial territories that were suffering after Zakuul’s conquest.

Despite the political pressure, Melyn refused to return to the Jedi Order or ally the Eternal Alliance with the Republic. Melyn wished for the Eternal Alliance to remain a neutral faction, as she saw beauty in the act of the Republic and Empire working as one.

THE PRESENT

Melyn awoke on Odessen, which wasn’t that surprising for her until she discovered that the planet that had previously been populated by her Eternal Alliance now seemed to be populated by no one.

Her confusion and curiosity warred. She found herself considering many different possibilities, but remains unsure of what’s happening.

Stranded and with no other option, she’s left reaching out in the Force for help, hoping that an ally picks up on her message eventually.

PERSONALITY

Melyn used to be considered a model Jedi. Nowadays, she’d give most Jedi a heart attack.

Above all else, Melyn prioritises personal choice. If you make poor decisions because you felt you had no other choice, she will do whatever it takes to give your choice back to you. If you take away the choice of others she will hate you.

She loves learning about other cultures, no matter how different they are to her own - for example, she considers herself to be quite knowledgable of Trandoshan culture thanks to her friend Qyzen.

Debate her about the Force and you will never get her to shut up. She thinks it’s fascinating and loves to hear new perspectives, even if those perspectives are a bit on the darker side.

She’s an idealist, and struggles when put into situations where her ideals aren’t possible. She thinks often of times where she has had to compromise her ideals and feels a lot of guilt for them.

She’s very self-sacrificing and doesn’t prioritise her own safety - except for when her safety is necessary for the safety of others. The concept of fighting for herself is foreign to her.

She’s powerful in the Force, and as a result always carries herself with confidence. She knows that there isn’t much that could harm her. At times, this can make her arrogant and can result in her under-estimating her opponents.

Since becoming Commander of the Eternal Alliance, working alongside Lana Beniko and listening to the teachings of Satele Shan and Darth Marr, her idea of the Force has changed. She claims that the Force isn’t a thing of Dark or Light, though even in her own time such claims were... rarely humoured. Her alignment is mostly Light, for what it’s worth, though she also sometimes utilises her emotions and passions while fighting. She would have a lot to say about this topic.