#mind rewrote

[wishmaster]

I'm so pissed of seeing those chav lads in the streets, they seem to be relax and confident all the time and their clothes are really cool. I just want to be one of them and chill

Bruvs

Hey Bruv, mate, what the hell you doing over there? One of them yells at me, That wanker who lives there what a pisser he is! Get your ass over here with your mates. they demanded as they pulled me in, Zane here wants to take a pic of him and the boys and we can't have that without you, Bruv. They all get closer, their over all smell, musk, alchohol and tobaccoo over too my senses at first until suddenly it was as if I had always been one of the boys.

Fuck Yeah! I said noticing the pitch and sound of my voice was now brash and broken as if I hadn't attended Uni.. wait, I hadn't I dropped out when I was 16, wait that's not right? But it was at 16 my dick parents found out I liked dick and kicked me out, that's when I found the lads, we've been a close family ever since.

Fuck yeah look at me in these sexy as Trackies, no dude can resist me now.

And here's the rest of the Fooking clan, my mates, my family, couldn't ask for a better bunch to have my back! In fact I think I'll blow them all today to let them know how much I appreciate them!

[milk-ly]

Kotoko and her connection to Dante’s Inferno’s Satan

Disclaimer: This is just about symbolism and I know how it sounds but I promise I’m not trying to imply anything or demonize her! I love Kotoko! Ive just been repeatedly noticing details about the parallel for several months now and I just really want to bring it up! This is just an analysis of the details MILGRAM has provided for it. I’m incredibly sorry if I make a mistake!

Kotoko has a lot of parallels to Dante’s Inferno Satan, especially in relation to Es.

To make sure we’re all on the same page, Dante’s Inferno is a Christian poem that outlines the 9 circles of hell. MILGRAM directly references Dante’s Inferno by quoting it in all the t2 door arts.

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter.” A quote derived from a sign at the gate of hell in the poem.

Each ring of Hell contains sinners with different levels of sins, and each ring’s sin was meant to be worse the further inside you go. Ive seen a couple theories that each prisoner correlates with a specific ring of hell. (Ex: Haruka is ring 1, Limbo; Yuno is ring 2, lust; etc)

But Dante’s Inferno only outlines 9 rings, what about our 10th prisoner, Kotoko?

While it could be that she’s again the “outsider” to the other prisoners, the last section of the 9th ring of Hell is significant because it is the center of Hell, containing Satan. So it could be reasonably argued that Kotoko correlates with it.

MILGRAM already has a TON of religious references. One that I’ve seen pointed out is how it seems the cover art of each novel is a reference to a famous Christian art piece.

The Es in each novel seems to be where Jesus relatively is. Remember that Jesus is both the son of God AND God. God gives sinners their judgements which sounds very similar to Es and how they're giving the prisoners (the human sinners) their verdicts.

Plus, the quote Milgram quotes is on the doors the prisoners are entering, and in Dante’s inferno, it’s on the gate of hell so you can compare or theorize that MILGRAM is a parallel to (or straight up is) purgatory. And Es, being the one who decides the verdict, parallels God.

Also, her t2 VD is named “YONAH,” which is the masculine version of the name Jonah. Not only does this relate to her themes of masculinity again, Jonah is a name that originates from Hebrew origins which means “dove.”

It is also a reference to the book of Jonah. A main theme of this book is “Jonah wants God to operate on his timeline [...] He wanted God to dole out punishment on his clock instead of according to God's plan. Yet God showed Jonah that in his infinite wisdom, he can't and will not be rushed.” Which is pretty much exactly what happens in YONAH, and also once again compares Es to God.

Dante’s Inferno’s Satan was an angel, a splendid being, apparently the most perfect of God's creatures… an “Angel of light.” We/Es deemed Kotoko innocent in t1. She had the highest innocent percentage in t1 too because a lot of people thought her murder was justified. You know, the most perfect of God’s creatures. The most perfect out of the prisoners.

“We really can work together.”

But then Satan tried to usurp God.

“If you don’t have the strength on your own, let me take care of it. Es! I can do it in MILGRAM!”

Kotoko wants to be the prison guard because Es isn’t capable in her eyes.

Satan was ultimately sent to Hell and punished as "the ultimate sinner" for his betrayal of trying to usurp God.

We are now punishing Kotoko for her attempts to judge the prisoners herself and “usurp” Es. It works even better now that she has the highest guilty percentage in all of MILGRAM so far as the “ultimate sinner.”

As a lot know, Fuuta also has tons of religious references too. (Ex. His VD is titled Baptism by Fire) By him also passing judgements onto people, you could say that he was trying to play God.

What is that saying about us, the audience, then? And our parallel/foil to Fuuta/Kotoko?

Dante’s Inferno as a whole is very much based around the idea of “evil will be punished,” which not only encapsulates Kotoko’s ideals but MILGRAM’s as well. It makes sense that MILGRAM says that Kotoko is a perfect parallel to the facility.

(I also wanna mention that there's something that could be said about the holy trinity in relation to Es + the audience + jackalope. For example, how Jesus is God in the flesh and Es is the audience "in the flesh," by acting as a personified version of us to interact with the "human sinnners" but I feel like I might be going into tinfoil hat territory.)

[writeouswriter]

Okay, it's normal to dislike a story that makes you sad or confused, but also some stories are supposed to make you sad and confused so you self reflect on why that is and think about what they were trying to say by invoking these feelings.

[buttercupshands]

Chapter 419 Analysis or "How to completely break Tenko Shimura" a manipulative guide from All For One (part 1)

This is mainly a character analysis of Shigaraki Tomura or Shimura Tenko, any other character present is there to help.

Chapter 419 was hard to comprehend even with just summaries right on April 4th. Some things need at least fan translation to fully make sense. Or just hurt more in that matter.

Warning of spoilers to the whole manga to the point of chapter 419! All of the warnings from the respective Tomura chapters are applicable.

So like... mentions of death, killing other people, manipulation, emotional abuse and many more!

This is Part 1 - See Part 2 for something less depressing

This is going to be long! So let's start, shall we?

First of all we'll need to take into understanding ALL the chapters that we'll need to remember/reread just make this chapter worse (skip if already familiar with them):

Chapter 222 - Tomura Shigaraki: Distortion

Chapter 234 - Destruction Sense

Chapter 235 - Tenko Shimura: Origins

Chapter 236 - Tenko Shimura Origins, Part 2

Chapter 237 - Tomura Shigaraki: Origins

This is your "Tenko and Tomura understanding" starter pack, basically. Without them it's harder to even start unpacking what just happened with Tomura's perspective in mind

Well then.

The chapter starts and we are immediately greeted by AFO semi-agreeing without wanting to, that Tomura was strong enough before Izuku started trying "saving" him in his own way and even succeeded making Tenko's will all the more fragile than it was when he returned using his hate to his advantage.

Even after Izuku holding Tenko's hands for the whole chapter he was still stubborn enough to continue even without that hate in his heart

And the thing that initial summaries missed was the fact that Tomura actually reacted to AFO reapperance.

Still not understanding why AFO was even saying that.

Tenko was literally taught by AFO to follow "what he wants" in ch 237 with Tenko making his first decision to kill someone himself. And never actually hiding that Tomura just needed to never forget that hatred and those bad emotions that Tomura never really understood. And it took Izuku seconds to decipher them.

With AFO reassuring Tomura that he has no need in following morals of society and just should follow whatever he wants - his want to destroy everything that hurts him. And only AFO would accept and help him. He was constantly reminded of that.

Even if Tenko was feeling sick from killing at first, even if hands that he wore were still making him sick 15 years later without him understanding anything. Decisions made while person is emotional are usually the ones that the person might regret the most and Tomura lived with those unstable emotions for years. Knowing that they hurt him and make him feel sick.

But Sensei said that it's okay to follow those emotions. That's it's actually great that he does it.

Everything was for his sake, everything was for Tomura Shigaraki and Tomura Shigaraki only. He was his Sensei's successor and no one should argue with it. He's the only one to be next ruler of the underground and the next king. And Tomura gladly accepted that as truth.

Since it was easier than facing his guilt.

Because AFO just needed Tomura to have enough willpower to get OFA when the plan is ready. To make Gigantomachia to follow him while Garaki was watching knowing full well how the plan is going. Both knowing full well that Tomura is still holding himself back.

In this chapter however we finally see how all of the things AFO told and taught Tenko were just to make him so sure that HE was in control and allowed to do whatever he wants to completely break his worldview in the end "after he gets OFA" which is an unreachable goal now since OFA is gone for good.

By just saying that Tenko never had any choice to begin with.

Tomura already knew that AFO manipulated him and he was just a pawn, needed only to get OFA and piss off All-Might he accepted and embraced it as something unimportant. It was his choice and he was free to do it and not feel bad about it. Since he's born to destroy.

Until suddenly it wasn't just his life after Decay that was manipulated.

But his whole life from birth. Just because AFO didn't get his hands on Hana sooner and she was happy while AFO needed someone hurt and broken. And Shimura's household wasn't as bad as he needed it to be at first with Kotaro loving his children, wife, in-laws and even his mother.

And AFO destroyed it by creating so much conflict and even going out of his way to make sure Tenko's father knew that he was playing heroes with some kids. And even saved them by putting his own quirkless life in danger.

In some sense narrator-Tomura's words at the end of ch 236 still might hold true. AFO didn't just create his hate out of nowhere, to make it feel like even if Tenko remembers everything it's still he's doing not a villain appearing, not just some accident that it actually was.

Although AFO doesn't say anything about people who didn't help Tenko even though he he knew that it happened so he most probably was watching it happen until Tenko lost all hope entirely to finaly make him dependent on his help.

And he succeeded for the most part.

Tomura was making an assumption after he remembered everything that he "must've been yearning for that" and from that point onwards explains everything that happened as "I wanted it - I did it" and was clinging to it like a lifeline to explain everything.

He accepted that if Re-Destro is talking about his Decay quirk affecting him he exists only to destroy.

And now it seems he found a false motivation for himself that AFO created by cruely manipulating everything from his quirk to his family. Making him believe he had a hand in it. Breaking one of "safe" truths that Tomura never doubted. They only made his decisions feel right.

Which makes that a hopeless loop of broken memories being staged just to let Tenko become Tomura who hates and destroys everything believing that it's his choice. Only choice at that.

And if destroying is him only choice because of his quirk... then what can a quirkless person do while having so many people dead from his own hands? Hands that were literally cursed to have destruction quirk in them not because he was born to do it. But because his own Sensei wanted that.

And he's "unwavering heart" is now nothing but an illusion that was destroyed by both Izuku and AFO together.

There's no "Can I be a Hero?", because can he even be a Villain if most of the choices that were from Decay and the hatred in his heart weren't actually his own?

[swamp-chicken]

I wish I could explain exact context for certain things and why I feel about them the way I do but it's so convoluted and half of it is just suppositions and vibes so I don't really bother.

but

I do have this insane personal headcanon that bdubs and sethbling are Enemies mostly because when etho and bdubs first recorded on mindcrack, bdubs tried to shit talk sethbling for being too "controlling" over etho and etho being like No He's Not Controlling >:( End of Conversation. Kind of characteristic for their early interactions where bdubs was still feeling out the line with Etho. I think he quickly learned how hard that line is. anyways seth and etho went on to collab on a few things outside of mindcrack and etho is even still a fan of seth today as evident by his comment on seth's latest video about this isane minecraft physics project he did. but bdubs never collabed/interacted with seth outside of the context of mindcrack

seth, by the way, is this absolute genius (not only in minecraft but irl). and was a real redstone genius of the time! bdubs did a little redstone but it was never his area of expertise and he could never really talk to etho as an Equal about it the way seth could. and I can imagine there is some tension and anxiety there on bdubs' part. here is someone who is super smart, who is etho's equal, whom etho will defend to bdubs even though (in bdubs' eyes) he's kind of rude and controlling. bdubs has this developing friendship with etho but he still has anxieties about all these things. he's not smart enough or cool enough or has crossed too many boundaries to really be etho's friend.

anyways seth gets invited to mindcrack and etho, his buddy, gives him a tour of the server. but the tour is completely derailed because etho pranked bdubs and wanted to see his reaction. and seth is just . there. laughing– haha. good prank. and etho is clearly so enamoured w bdubs and making up little voices for him as he reads out what he types and giggling over bdubs' reaction

and then etho edits together his video and only puts in the prank part, none of the tour. briefly explains seth is now on the server before launching into the story of the prank he pulled on bdubs, his voice shifting into something so warm and fond.

a few months later etho explains the arena project he worked on with bdubs, and how he initially had an idea for seth and others to help him with the redstone, but that never panned out. bdubs was only guy etho actually asked, bc, as etho says, "I knew he had my back"

bdubs' anxiety about seth ends up not mattering at all. bc seth and etho, yes, are friends and appreciate the game in the same way and both operate on the same level re: redstone. but bdubs has his back <3 and his heart <3

[stardust948]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender (Cartoon 2005) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Azula & The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Aang & Ozai (Avatar), Azula & Ozai & Ursa & Zuko (Avatar), Azula & Kiyi & Zuko (Avatar), Azula & Iroh (Avatar) Characters: Zuko (Avatar), Katara (Avatar), Azula (Avatar), Toph Beifong, Aang (Avatar), Ursa (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar), The Gaang (Avatar), Mai (Avatar), Ty Lee (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aftermath of Torture, Healing, Mental Health Issues, Depression, Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Political tension, Racism, Angst, Grief/Mourning, invasive thoughts, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parent Ozai (Avatar), Abusive Ozai (Avatar), Manipulative Ozai (Avatar), New Ozai Society (Avatar), Azula & Toph Beifong Friendship (Avatar), Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Azula and Zuko Have a Good Relationship (Avatar), at least working on it, Toph inserts herself into the Fire Family, Past Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Past Aang/Katara (Avatar), albeit a one-sided crush, Post-100 Year War (Avatar TV), Zuko Loves Katara (Avatar), Katara Loves Zuko (Avatar), Minor Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Angst with a Happy Ending, Additional Warnings In Author's Note Series: Part 3 of Kintsugi Summary:

Zuko and Katara navigate their newfound relationship as the world recovers and civil war threatens the Fire Nation. Tensions rise even higher when secrets from the past deals made in the dark are brought to the light.

[sukunasdirtylaugh]

thinking of a vampire!Choso who lives in a secluded estate with his younger brother Yuuji. The two having lived for nearly 150 years, rely on one another in the presence of each other until you arrive. A sweet, kind, and helpful 23 year old college grad who really needs to pay off her student loans. The job pays well, not requiring you to work night shifts but rather morning shifts as a lady of the keys (and light housekeeping) sounds perfect.

Choso finds himself scolding Yuuji for distracting you during work hours saying, do you really think she won’t ask you anything? She’s young, she’ll suspect-

—relax, brother. Yuuji smiles, she’s really nice once you get to know her. she needed help pushing a heavy cart of dirt towards the garden because it needs remodeling, which I agree. So I helped her. Besides, she only asked me what my favorite and your favorite color were. And what I thought about pink peonies. Nothing to fear.

You’re always like that, always trusting strangers. Do you know what happens when you let someone in your life—?

—If Edna chose her, Yuuji interrupts, voice soft and stern, then she must be a chosen one. I’m pretty sure we can trust Edna’s judgement after 48 years of working for us.

He must have a point, Edna had been the one to recruit you. Yes you were young, but why didn’t she choose someone older? Not someone with seemingly soft hair or a smile that radiates warmth, and not a presence that smells of vanilla and roses. You were forbidden, something Choso had labeled as untouchable when you first arrived for your job interview. You had thought your boss despised you, only for Yuuji to settle your worries. Don’t worry, he’s... tough to reach sometimes, but he cares. He’s a good brother, and a good person. You didn’t do anything wrong the day you came.

So he dismisses his brother, sits on his leather chair as he watches from his study as you instruct some gardening men to install a floral arch. Yuuji soon joins your side, and excitedly motions to adjust the arc in another direction before you say something that makes him laugh so hard that it makes him hold onto his stomach. It’s been a while since he’s seen his brother laugh like that.

And a while since he’s felt what humans could only experience.

[ronniesart]

Vanessa A. (Austin in this au) designs for HIFS <33

(Info rewritten under the cut + click for quality) Yeah im really proud of this. Ik that pre helpwanted isn’t THAT scene but shhhh

Pre Help Wanted 23 Years Old

Scene Queen, never heard of business casual (Fazbear Ent. Don’t care)

Has not yet experienced the horrors

Got back in contact with her mom :)

Has a MAJOR crush on another girl in her department (Tape Girl)

Security Breach 25 Years Old

OH GOD THE HORRORS

Constantly coughing up teeth (her body is trying to reject Glitchtrap)

Gave up on fighting him :(

Glitchtrap wiped somethings from her memory

Post Security Breach

Shell of her formal self

Chopped off her hair bc she hated being blonde

No personal sense of style anymore

Eyes glow now! 👁️👁️

Trying her hardest NOT to hate Gregory

[fromtheseventhhell]

I'm rewatching the season 8 of GOT, and it's amazing how it gets worse each time each time I notice a new inconsistency. the fact that the prophecy was for nothing, and how with arya killing the night king it made me understand that anyone could kill him, this person just had to have aegon's dagger in their hands like (???)

Why would you do that to yourself?? Forget rewatching, I haven't even watched the final episode (and I never will) 😭

The past few seasons of that show made no sense and I'm tired of people pretending otherwise. It was literally that "anyone could've killed him"; they just shuffled through characters to find one that "felt right" and even considered the Hound or Brienne. The only options should've been Jon or Dany, but Jon would've been "too obvious" (as though being able to tell where the plot is going is a bad thing) and Dany killing the Night King would've been "too heroic" for a character they desperately wanted to demonize. So we were left with...what we got, which really highlights how poorly D&D handled all of these characters. They made Arya's story all about being a fighter, erasing the majority of her development from the books, and then they didn't even make space for her to use those skills. Her face-changing skills never came up after she killed the Freys, she didn't carry out any actual assassinations (they didn't even consider sending her to kill Cersei?), and if they hadn't decided that she would kill the Night King she wouldn't have done anything significant. With the "Ed Sheeran was a surprise for Maisie's last season" thing I doubt they even initially planned for her to survive the entire time, which would've made her story even more pointless. They put no effort into writing her character and just did "whatever was most badass", but I'm supposed to believe that their writing for Arya is anywhere close to what George is writing for her 🥴

[neversandnowheres]

my wife and i just bought a house which is a ridiculous thing to be able to say but what is even more ridiculous is that both the wife and the owning of the house with her would not have happened but for . bbc sherlock

[wishmaster]

I dont want to be the school scrawny nerd anymore, i want to be the school big beefy hairy himbo and everyone treat me as the himbo i am.

Tired of being the tolken scrawny nerd of campus you made your wish and headed to the shower after what seemed like forever, you reached for a towel and began to dry off.

Fuck you say, noticing you voice was much deeper and you were no longer in your own shower, you looked around, you were in a gym now and you caught a glimpse of yourself in a mirror, what the hell you dropped the towel showing off your new massive body, you watched as your new thick tool twitched when you looked at yourself. you walked as you did pants covered your cock and firm ass.

Without thinking you stared working out, each pump causing you mind to loose it's once .. what's the words you struggle to thing, smarts you say, yeah you feel dumber with each flex words not so good remembering you now, you garbled mind strains to form even a logical sentence.

You laughed at the word logical thinking a word that big must have been naughty.

You pump more iron and soon you can't even remember where you live or your own name, You get bigger, more hair grows from your face, had you been able to form a thought or memory you'd remember you wanted your whole body to be hairy, but alas it was what it was.

You shout out feeling your new strength and personality set in.

FUCK YEAH!!! you announce as you garner attention from the other guys in the gym, something about the new you seemed to draw them to you. Suddenly you found yourself on your knees blowing every hot guy in the gym, their sperm wiping what little thoughts you had left. Now you thought of only 2 things, working out and getting bigger and Sex, you had quickly become the favorite Himbo of the gym, you lived there now, fucking as many of the the guys you "trained" your scrawny nerd life was gone, you were the ripped Himbo of your dreams and you became almost everything you hoped, other than your hairy body, it was now covered in ink, you'd thank me if you could as the tons of cum you were covered in by the end of the day was much easier to get off this way. Enjoy your life..you? What was your name again? that's right you don't even remember.

[naivety]

the thing about silver is that he does not give a shit about other people until flint and then madi convince him to first through the crew and then through a wider liberation movement. they convinced him there was some good to be found in connecting with people and something to fight for, and Then. And Then!!! they ask him to sacrifice this very same newfound connection to these people for the greater good!!! and it Kills him but he does it because more than they've convinced him to love People, they've convinced him to love Them, and that maybe even he, John Silver, who isn't even real btw, can be loved By them, so he does it, but it fractures him and he can't pick up the pieces as fast as they shatter and it all falls apart so so quickly in his hands because it was all built on conditional trust and he Could not commit to it in the end, a house of cards built on. sand.

[writereleaserepeat]

Hear No Evil - Chapter 5

Previous // Next

CW: bbu, bbu-adjacent, pet whump, institutionalized slavery, dehumanization, dehumanizing intent by using it/its pronouns, ableism, blood mention, scar mention, non-sexual nudity

It felt wrong to touch the boy’s face. It felt wrong to touch a person who had been endlessly abused into mindless submission, someone who had been trained through pain and suffering that they had to exist at the will and command of another. It felt wrong that the boy was still sitting naked, all but skin and bones, entirely unmoving on Rowan’s floor. 

What other choice did Rowan have? Was there another way to communicate with this boy, one  that wasn’t as direct as physical contact? Necessity, Rowan reminded himself as the boy’s face turned upward in his palm. I’m doing this out of necessity.

Even as he gently guided the boy’s face to look upwards, he refused to meet Rowan’s eyes, his gaze directed towards the floor. That was alright. It was going to have to be alright for a while, Rowan suspected. 

After a moment he let his fingers fall away from the boy’s chin. He wouldn’t have admitted it, but he was relieved when his new houseguest held the position rather than dropping back to the ground. 

“Hey there,” Rowan greeted. He did his best to smile. “I don’t know if you remember, but my name’s Rowan. I know this is new for you, but it’s new for me too. It’s new for both of us. I’m sure you’re probably scared, but we’re going to get through this. We’re going to have to learn together, alright?” 

The boy didn’t even blink. 

---

Master didn’t seem upset that Pet was holding still and looking up at him. By the hint of a smile on Master’s lips, it seemed that he was pleased by the unusual posture. 

It didn’t dare meet Master’s eyes, of course, but now it could try and read his lips. Even if it couldn’t decipher the words that Master was speaking, it had already come to enjoy the soft murmur of Master’s speech. The kindness and warmth was enough for it to relax. 

New… new… new for both of us… learn together…

Pet knew that it could do that. Pet was happy to learn new things for its Master, and it was going to try its very best to do them well. Failure meant punishment, but even worse, failure meant disappointing Master. Disappointing its old Master is what got Pet into this mess to begin with. It could handle any amount of pain, however Master chose to train it, but disappointment always burned the deepest. 

Pet can be good. Pet can learn with Master. 

---

It struck Rowan that now only was the boy still naked, but the stench of waste and sweat clung to his body. The putrid odor of the liquidation event had begun to seep into the room at no fault of the boy’s own. 

Of course - Rowan privately scolded himself for forgetting. The facility never gave its victims the luxury of proper hygiene, and this one had been stuck at the liquidation event for days, before eventually being stuffed in a box. There was no wonder that the boy’s curls were slicked down with grease and dirt. 

Rowan attempted a smile. He knew it didn’t reach his eyes, but how could it, when he knew how much pain this person had been through? 

“How does a bath sound, yeah? Can we do that?” Rowan offered this enthusiastically. Rowan also knew that his bathroom was a bit of a disaster, scattered with half-empty shampoo bottles and skin care products he hadn’t used in weeks. He tried to soothe himself by rationalizing that the boy wouldn’t particularly care about the room’s cleanliness. 

There was no reaction to Rowan’s offer, not a nod, not so much as a twitch. It was all he could do not to sigh, worried that any sighs would be interpreted as misplaced frustration. The last thing he wanted to do was set the boy on edge. 

He remembered what worked earlier, the very gestures that had lured the boy to his bedroom in his first place. After giving himself a determined nod, Rowan took a few steps backwards, and gestured with a low hand to invite the victim to follow along. 

Much to Rowan’s relief, the boy understood. He scampered forward on his hands and knees, eyes glued back to the ground, every bone on his gaunt frame showing. As much as Rowan would have preferred him to walk on two feet, this was going to have to do for the moment. Just enough to get him cleaned and settled in, nothing more. Then they would begin work on rehabilitation. 

As soon as Rowan opened the door to the bathroom, the boy bolted forward and into the tub in a tangle of limbs and apparent enthusiasm. Rowan hadn’t spoken a single word or made a gesture. He smiled in spite of himself, and cocked his head to the side.  

“Alright, I guess baths are okay? That’ll make this easier.” Rowan thought about the many victims that had been tormented by water, scalded or frozen at inhumane temperatures, or held beneath the surface until they drew mouthfuls into their lungs. To have a victim who was at least amiable to the cleaning process would relieve the burden on them both. 

The boy had resumed the typical kneeling position in the tub, seemingly unbothered by the hard porcelain. Rowan figured it was best not to try and correct that for the time being. One step at a time. Be encouraging. 

Rowan leaned over to the spigot and slowly turned it on, carefully easing the handle towards “H,” and diligently checked the temperature as water began to flow. Once it was comfortably warm he plugged the drain and watched as the clear liquid began to pool around the boy’s legs. Rowan almost swore he heard a contented sigh as the boy’s eyes slipped closed. 

For the first time in more than a day, Rowan felt himself smile, a genuine smile. And for the first time, he felt that maybe he was cut out for this. 

---

Pet was grateful for the washing before it even began. Its old Master was so particular in keeping Pet clean, and would have his servants scrub Pet down every day beneath a stream of hot water. Sometimes the soap was floral, other times it was citrus, but it always left Pet smelling wonderful. Handler never gave it such luxuries when it was sent back to the training facilities. 

The water rose ever higher, first over its thighs, then over the pale skin of its stomach, until the water finally came to a stop right above its navel. It could have groaned with how pleasant the warm water felt on its aching legs and bruised knees. For a moment it nearly dared to speak, express its gratitude for the kindness, but knew better than to open its mouth without being told. 

Still, it was a treat to have Master wash it rather than a servant.

Master gently cupped warm water over its head, and Pet closed its eyes tight to keep the water out. With each new splash of water Master continued to talk away, his voice nearly as warm as the water, wrapping around Pet’s shoulders along with the suds. Of course, the words were still indistinct, and Pet listened in case there was a command it could discern, but it was already starting to think that maybe Master just liked to talk. Pet wouldn’t mind that at all. 

---

“I’ve never really had anything to name before,” Rowan mused aloud as he worked his fingers through the boy’s curls. The texture was so much deeper than his own, the ringlets rich with weight. He made a quick mental note that the dollar-store shampoo he used for his own pin-straight hair would most certainly not do in the future. 

“You see, I had to name a goldfish when I was a kid,” Rowan continued as he began to rinse the shampoo out. “I had to name it, and I stalled for weeks. My parents kept asking me, and my sister kept bugging me about it, but I just didn’t have anything. My mom eventually suggested ‘Goldy,’ and I just went with it. But if you can’t tell me what you want to be called, at least not yet, you deserve a name. A proper one, something with a bit of dignity.”

He wondered if there were websites to help with such a thing. namesforyourbrainwashedhumanslave.com? It wouldn’t surprise him. 

“You’re going to have to learn to wash yourself in the future.” Rowan gently wrung some of the water from the boy’s thick head of hair and hoped he wasn’t pulling on the roots. “It’s okay if that doesn’t happen right away. I’m more than happy to help, but I want you to feel comfortable doing things on your own, without having to ask me. You can come in here and have a bath whenever you want. The apartment incorporates the cost of utilities into the monthly rent already, which means we can use as much as we want at no extra cost. It’s nice to have almost unlimited heat in the winters, especially this far north.”

As he began to carefully wipe away the grime on the boy’s face with a warm cloth, Rowan nearly startled when the boy leaned into the touch. He hadn’t expected to feel pressure returned against his hand. After pausing long enough to pull himself out of the shock, Rowan pressed on and began to scrub at the dried blood on the side of the victim’s face. Flakes of muddy brown and deep crimson scabs covered the deep gouges that ran from his temples, down his ears and jawline, almost down to his neck. Given the extent of the damage, it was a wonder there was any skin left. 

“I hope one day you can tell me how these got here,” Rowan murmured as he got a good look at the wounds for the first time. Blood flaked away and fell in hues of brown into the water, mixed with fresh red from the most recent and still-weeping wounds. 

“I’m sorry,” Rowan whispered before he could stop himself, because he knew he had to be hurting the boy, no matter how gently he tried to proceed. The wounds were deep, and Rowan wondered if they needed stitches. How was he supposed to tell? Maybe they were too wide for stitches, maybe the scar tissue was already too well-formed. 

They were different than the scars that Rowan had seen on other victims before, and he had seen the aftermath of many instruments of torture in his time. These scars were jagged, and they were as wide as three fingers across, as though they had been continually torn open. It was the first time Rowan saw them this close up, and he noted that the cartilage of the ears was warped and knobbed. Again, something like he had never seen before. 

The water had turned a translucent copper color, and Rowan tried not to be sick as he reached in to drain the bathtub. A quick hand gesture and the boy got out of the tub and knelt back down on the bath mat. 

Right, towels. Dry him off. 

“Let’s get you dry, huh?” Rowan spoke. Maybe it would help ease whatever tensions were running through the boy’s mind if Rowan kept narrating what he was doing. He imagined it would be beneficial to take away some of the nerve-wracking suspense, and instead replace it with vocalized certainty. 

Forcing a smile on his lips, Rowan grabbed the freshly-laundered towel he had set aside, and held it out in the boy’s line of sight. 

“I’ve got a clean towel here. If you want to do it yourself, just grab the towel, and I’ll stop. Otherwise, here we go.” 

As soon as the terry cloth made contact with the boy’s shoulders, he leaned into the touch, his upper body shifting a few centimeters closer to Rowan’s own. Again. This time, Rowan didn’t startle quite so easily. In fact, he was surprised at himself, and the happiness that blossomed in his stomach. 

He knew he couldn’t take happiness in this forever. There was no joy to be taken in a human being that acted on inhumane training, a human who sought other human contact because they were told to, not because they wanted it. But if the boy wasn’t afraid of him and his touch, that was one small victory. Rowan had a feeling he was going to have to take the little victories for what they were. 

“You’re doing great,” he said, not for the first time that hour. But this time, Rowan knew he might have been talking to himself as well. 

---

Taglist: @honey-is-mesi @aswallowimprisoned @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @honeycollectswhump @rekiroyalstraightprincemaru @tragedyinblue @clairelsonao3 @octopus-reactivated @maracujatangerine @peachy-panic @whumplr-reader @dislexiher @cc1010foxy @onlybadendings @panstardalia @tempoghast @whumpzone

[walrus150915]

I want to rewrite my "Bal n Ambrosius's first time" fic bc I'm rereading it now and like

NOT ENOUGH AWKWARDNESS OR CRINGE😭😭😭 WHERE IS CRINGE IN GENERAL I WANT TO CLOSE MY EYES IN EMBARRASSMENT WHILE READING IT🧍‍♂️

[alaskanexile]

I saw the anne hathaway cannibalism tweets again and had a vision.

[cheswirls]

looking @ old fic i started when i was 14/15 is so funny bc im realizing once again why i never mark fics as abandoned even if its been literal years since i've touched them. specifically i was checking docs for stuff i started and either did or didn't post to ffn.

and its like. nothing is bad??? like i can see where my outside-the-box ideal of fic writing comes from. not just fics but writing in general, i'm p sure. even if it's a total cliche plot setup, there are details on each that rly make it stand out like oh yeahhhhhh i did have this great idea once upon a time.

funny too bc was it executed well in prose??? no absolutely not i wrote like shit when i was 15. would i revive an idea one day and revise it to be less cliche or cringy while still keeping the stand-out elements??? yea maybe. i might. everything i'm currently working on that i started from 2021 up to now still holds my supreme interest, but like i'm not gonna say never.

esp since i write fic first and foremost for my own need and specifically what i like to read, it makes it impossible to consider an idea i've thought extensively about "not worth writing anymore". anyway not making this too long i jus found everything interesting to consider