#mind is jesus arc when/j

[synthshenanigans]

Jashtober Day 18- Monarch

[tw blood]

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I think bro should have a torn crown. For like a metaphor or something

More alt ones v

[psicheanima]

what are your thoughts on danganronpa v3? i remember liking it a lot when i was young but nowadays im seeing a lot of hate towards it and im thinking of revisiting it now that i have a better grasp on the kind of stories i like but idk if its worth it lol

How funny, I’m having the kind of opposite experience. When I first played the series when I was about 14-15, I was incredibly critical of V3, especially the character department. I still think it has the most annoying cast (THH probably has the “worst” one, but that’s because a majority of them are boring rather than gimmicky like V3) but upon revisiting it recently, I’ve actually grown fond of a lot of the characters I didn’t like.

Kaito, for instance. I really appreciate his role of “obnoxious” more. His dynamic with Kokichi became one of my favorite things to think about, when previously it was something I acknowledged as important to the game but didn’t really engage with deeply. I actually looked forward to seeing them interact while previously I had just enjoyed it to see Kaito get “put in his place” (and mind you, I didn’t really care for Kokichi either back then, that’s just how much I disliked Kaito.) those dudes are great foils to the other. It’s fascinating to see a “sidekick” (ironic) and “antagonist” be the antithesis to one another rather than the protag and antagonist like previous games. Saihara and Kokichi are opposites in many ways, but Kaito and Kokichi are fundemntal opposites down to the core, and it’s a great position to place the player in— the incorrect best friend who saved you or the correct bad guy who you think wants to doom you all. Yeah, great stuff. Kokichi’s great. I had started to like him more even before this new playthrough, but he’s just great. It’s rare I fall for a character’s mask, but even when acknowledging said mask, I didn’t really take in just how completely Kokichi lies about every singular thing until this one. He’s a sad person. We never actually knew him, not even for one second, face to face.

I also dislike Himiko way way way less, her arc really put her in a new light and made me wonder why I hadn’t cared for her after trial 3 when I first played. Oh, and on that note, some of the mysteries are pretty bad upon reexamination. Korekiyo is easily the worst trial in the series, yes worse than the starter trial in THH. Like, Jesus. It’s so bad. But the class trial back and forth is always pretty fresh. Like I said— looking at dynamics I hadn’t previously. I did always think trial 4 was one of the best in the series, still think it is. It’s difficult.

It has my least favorite “ending trio” (Kiibo was top 3 favorite characters and he didn’t have much competition, I’ll always be mad at this death, I don’t care!)— but man, I’ll always love Tsumugi! That ambitious ending still does leave a slight sour taste in my mouth, but even back then I did understand the purpose, though I was more bitter about it.. As I age, the comedy becomes more pronounced so j can’t take it too seriously. Good luck getting a job with no ID and fake trauma. So funny. So so funny. Tsumugi was hysterical for that— she’s just such a kooky, meta villain. Love her dearly. Wish she got some more moments to set her apart pre trial “6”– yes, yes, that’s the point, plain plain plain blah blah blah, still. Still!

So upon re-examining, there’s more good, but the bad is still there. It’s an ambitious game for “Danganronpa”. So that means it misses and sometimes it hits. Oh, probably has the best dialogue in the series— but also the worst translation that absolutely unforgivably massacres some characters! There can be no balance in this world! How tragic! I think it’s always worth revisiting a series.

[ramrodd]

Mark: An Eyewitness Account

COMMENTARY:

YOU and Robyn Wals and John MacDonald are so close to the same epiphany as Molly Worthens but you are blinded by the ideological blinkers of the criticql historical method of the Post Modern Historic Deconstruction, History is a zero-sum subset of literature. A minor genre, thoughmetaphycially necessary for a healthy society. Forensics occurs in the here/now of the mythos and , like F. Scott, carried backwars against the current. As you read this, your eyes are moving along with the wave of the futue that William F. Bukcley proposed to accomplish with Project 2025. Project 2025 started out as the Young Americans for Freedom, the leading  edge of the Conservative insrugency committed to dismantling the administrative state of the neo=liberalism of Eisenhower's 1956 Presidetnil Platform and replacing it with a rip-off of the harmonization of Mars's Das Kapital and Hitler's Meim Kampf with a dab of Atlas Shrugged and a midgen of the Turner Diaries thrown in for the white supremacist thugs How project 2025 got started is pretty much the same way the Jesus Conspiracy got started as a consequence of the Talking Cross and the public slaughter of Sejanus a year and a half before. By the astronomy, Good Friday occurred in 33 CE.  A collegue of Peter J. Williams tacked it down using the astronomy charts of the Magi. That's the point:. The Palestine Bible, as a proxy for the genre, is a literary project of the Magi, beginning with the Book of Job. In terms of Christian literatue, the primacy rests on Cornelius. He is the common denominator in the Gospels and Acts. He is the linke between Luke and Theophilus. HE was in the room with Pilate during the interrogation of Jesus of Nazareth, He probably prepared the paper work for the transmittal of Pilate's euangelion to Tibeius and arranged for the pony express to expedite the delivery. Pilate's lost euangelion is the first written record of JEsus. It was composed of the harminizaton of Mark 15:1 - 16:8 and the Gospel of Peter. I don't know if the Magi had the Talking Cross in mind when they launched the Book of Job literary project, but the object of the exercise was to create the metaphysics necessary to produce Apollo 11.  I think they expected to put man on the moon by 3240 CE, but the Talking Cross accelerated that process by 1200 years. And that convenant between the Jewish god and the centurions of the Italian Regiment represented by Cornelius was the tidings of Joy Pilate reported to Tiberius and all the rest that was reported in Book V of Tertullian's Apology, Cornelius had Pilate's euangelion when the Holy Spirit arranged for Peter to come in out of the cold and provide testimony from inside the Jeesus Insurgency, summurized in Acts 10,:34 - 43, This becomes the narrative arc of the Gospel of Marrk that connects a series of dots from the intelligence archives of the 10th Legion generally understood to be Quelle. And Peter's Confession in harminization with the contents of Pilate's euangelion become the euangelion of Mark 1.!, Acts 15:7 and the 19 citations in Paul's Epistles. I don't hold a bried for the "lost Gospel of Mark" and all the controversy, but the nature of the literature around it suggests to be the working of an editorial board which includes Cornelius and St/Mark in Alexandria and Theophilus as to the composition of the Gospel of John, which is the memoirs of St Makr from when he was a 12 year old John Mark who encounters Jesus during the Passover of his Bar Mitzvah year and gloms unto Him as his rebbe, until he is 15 at the foot of the cross and is totally grossed out when the sokdier splits Jesus wide open to make sure He is dead. The Gospel of Mark is a psychological flat line, bu the Gospel fo John comes straight from the Shadow of John Mark/St. Mark like hearing a favortie song from your childhood if you are into Jungian Psychology. Hegel's Post Modern Litary Deconstrucion reveals all this without all the drama over what Jesus said to whom, or didn't say, accroding to the Jesus Seminar v Pr0-Life solo scriptura. N.t. Wright believes he rejects Hegel, but he's the essence of the harmonization of Paulice Theology with the Cruid Christiology of the Chruch of England,         You all have wonderful scholarship and if you re-organize it around Richard Bauckham's eye witness thesis but with Cornelius as the source of the midn map and not Peter  you will be delighted with the New Insights to the Gospels yuo can bring to Bart "GIggles" Ehrman's seminar.    

[denimbex1986]

'Although Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer does not explain why the atomic bomb test was named "Trinity," it has a profound meaning that seemingly connects to Jean Tatlock. Based on Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin's book, American Prometheus, Oppenheimer's narrative primarily unfolds in three arcs. While the first arc focuses on how the physicist's early days at university led him to become a leading physicist, the second arc highlights his journey leading the Manhattan Project during World War II. Finally, the third arc in the movie is all about Oppenheimer facing the dire consequences of developing the bomb.

In all of these arcs, Oppenheimer creates mystery and intrigue surrounding many aspects of the physicist's narrative. For instance, it makes audiences wait till the end before revealing what Oppenheimer and Albert Einstein talked about during their brief encounter. However, while it resolves some of these overarching mysteries and questions, it leaves others unanswered. One of the unanswered mysteries is J. Robert Oppenheimer's reasoning for choosing the name "Trinity" for the atomic bomb test.

The Atomic Bomb's Trinity Test Name References A John Donne Poem

As portrayed in Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer, J. Robert Oppenheimer was deeply influenced by the ideas in the Hindu scripture Bhagavad Gita. What the movie does not show, however, is that the American theoretical physicist's love for literature also extended to John Donne's metaphorical poems. While the exact origins of the codename "Trinity" are shrouded in mystery, it is believed to be a reference to one of John Donne's poems that left a profound impact on Oppenheimer.

Brigadier General Leslie R. Groves, Jr. (played by Matt Damon in Oppenheimer), the director of the Manhattan Project, wrote a letter to Oppenheimer in 1962, curiously investigating the origins of Trinity Test's name. He asked whether he chose the name simply because it would attract little attention or had other deeper reasoning in mind. Oppenheimer affirmed that suggested the name, but for a completely different reason. The theoretical physicist wrote that it was unclear to him why he went for the name, but he could recall the thoughts in his mind when he came up with it (via Los Alamos National Library).

To elaborate further, Oppenheimer cited a quote from John Donne's poem Hymn to God, My God, in My Sickness: "As West and East / In all flatt Maps – and I am one – are one, / So death doth touch the Resurrection." He then confirmed that while the quote still "does not make a Trinity," another Donne poem, Holy Sonnet XIV, alludes to the origins of the codename with its opening verse: "Batter my heart, three person'd God." The "Three person'd god" in the poem refers to the Holy Trinity, a religious Christian concept that posits the belief that God exists in three divine persons: The Father, The Son (Jesus Christ), and The Holy Spirit.

How Trinity Connects To Oppenheimer & Jean Tatlock's Relationship

Jean Tatlock introduced Oppenheimer to many literary works, including the poems of John Donne. Their romantic relationship and shared interest in literature are believed to have played a crucial role in shaping the physicist's intellectual endeavors and overall worldview. Owing to this, many speculate that the name Trinity was not only an allusion to John Donne's work but also a tribute to Jean Tatlock, one of the many details from the physicist's real life that Oppenheimer does not portray.'

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

[when-wax-wings-melt]

hello just casually stopping by to say that what. what on earth was going on at the end of hosab. in response to your tags: I'm very curious to know what your rants were about if you'd like to share. no pressure though! I am going to attempt to do homework while processing that crossover like huh. why. what.

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING HELLO. LIKE WHAT. the rest of this post contains hella spoilers for crescent city/throne of glass/acotar btw anyone else.

so!! my rants about hosab were a lot about sarah j maas in general (this is a sarah j maas intensely dislike blog btw! I hate-read hosab 😔) and the problems with her books. I have a few categories: Characters, Relationships, and of course there's the twist at the end of hosab that I intensely dislike.

That's what the ask was about so I'll start with that. The main twist at the end of hosab was, of course, that Bryce went to the acotar universe instead of Hel when she moved worlds. Firstly, it's pretty fucking lucky that she ended up like right in front of Azriel (and not even in front of cass and nesta fucking or whatever the hell their relationship is about 😔, or in the middle of nowhere or the human world) but that's not even my main problem. The problem is that this plotline was plain ol' weak writing. Sjm realized that the majority of her fans' favorite series was acotar, and instead of having another cameo of Rhys and Feyre like she did at the end of throne of glass, she had them become characters in crescent city. To me, this is a chance at grabbing her audience after the mind-numbing repetition of hosab so far. And DAMN HER it worked. I wasn't planning on reading book three but not I HAVE TO, dammit. Bryce and Hunt should have had their own arc with their own solutions just like Aelin and Rowan and Feyre and Rhys did. The crossover shouldn't have been necessary, it was a lazy grab for nostalgia (for lack of a better word) and means that reading crescent city is better if you read acotar (money grab potentially) and I stand by that.

MOVING ON. CHARACTERS.

I have huge huge problems with SJM and her characters, mostly because I intensely dislike the majority of them. And I'm almost positive this has something to do with being ace because all of her characters are on their intros described by their sex appeal and how fucking gorgeous they are and how many abs they have which is so weird?? And unnatural??? I own Crescent City and a few throne of glass books but I do not feel like checking them so we're going off of screenshots I currently have saved and my prior knowledge (which i believe is Good Enough).

All the women are interchangable, especially her three protagonists. Bryce, Feyre, and Aelin. Aelin's description is: Blue eyes with a rim of gold, golden hair, pale skin, skinny with (somehow) generous curves, muscled but it didn't show (???). Feyre is: brown hair, blue-grey eyes, skinny (originally she was flat but I'm almost certain she gained curves by the end), pale skin. Bryce: redhead with freckles, pointed ears, extremely curvy (I'll talk more about this later), pale. Ignoring that all these women are white and there is a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead (you know, depending on the taste of her audience) these women are so... impersonal? Feyre's hobby is painting, Aelin loves music (particularly the piano), Bryce loves dancing. Checking off the artistic qualities, there. They all are selfless to the point of self sacrifice (not necessarily a bad quality, but by the time you get to Bryce jesus christ) and ridiculously overpowered (something that works for Aelin, aka my favorite of the ladies in my favorite of the series, but not necessarily for the others).

The main men? also interchangeable. Sarah J Maas does this thing where she has an introduced love interest (or several) and then either she kills them off (see: Connor), villainizes them (see: Tamlin, Chaol), or sets them up to be a "right person wrong time"/better off as friends thing (see: Dorian). I'm gonna talk about this later. Anyway, Throne of Glass men (originally) worked because they were more realistic men than the eventual love interests: Rowan, Hunt, Rhys. Their descriptions (from what I remember, and also from fanart) are... Rowan: silver hair, green eyes, tan skin, tattoos on his back and sorta on his cheek, muscles on muscles on muscles (this man is an impossibility), handsome and like... weathered stone. wasn't that used as a descriptor? Rhys: tan skin, dark hair, dark purplish eyes, HELLA BUILT, beautiful, gorgeous, etc. Hunt: darker skin I believe (?), d...dark eyes, (I dont remember what he looks like this is sad), the most I remember about him is that he is piled with muscle like he has a 15 pack or some shit. it's crazy. I can't even TALK about sarah j maas's apparent wing kink (like what is up with that hello?) right now but yeah. hunt always has wings, rhys sometimes has wings, rowan can be a bird.

I'm just. convinced that you can switch out any of these people and the exact same things would be possible. Sure, they have different powers (aelin's powers, feyre's... everything apparently, bryce's light, rhys's shadows, rowan's... wind, hunt's lightning) but like seriously. ALSO you could probably switch out cassian or azriel (cass post acosf), or even Connor or Tharion (4 more guys with the exact same bodytype) with these guys. You could not switch dorian or chaol because they actually have personalities (major L for sjm, because she started out with cool characters that had, you know, separate characters and then it dissolves into a bunch of 8-packs and gleaming tan skin (?)).

All of these characters are skinny and the majority are white. The fatphobia (and even vague misogyny) in these books is insane. It's messed up. I'm not even fat but I'm mid-sized and I cannot relate to any of these ultra thin (with... curves...) women. I cannot find a single woman with a realistic body besides fucking Lehabah who gets little pagetime, is ridiculed and teased the entire damn time, explicitly rejected/said to be undesirable, and then killed off in book one of crescent city. She's "plump." Bryce gave me hope, because she is described to have been rejected from a dancing company for having the wrong body type, and being curvy... but there are so many descriptions of her body and none of them mention a tummy. She has a fat ass and boobs and... where's the rest? It's like Sarah Maas is scared of giving her women realistic features because she's making them end up with these unrealistic men. It's heartbreaking.

FINALLY. RELATIONSHIPS.

first off, as an asexual, specifically acotar and cc relationships severely bother me, but this also applies to tog. At least in tog and cc they arent compelled to have sex as soon as they accept their mates? And they are physically incapable or resisting it? I have issues with the "mate" shit at all (hello what the fuck is up with that? There is one person you are meant to have babies with and are chained to them for the rest of your immortal lives??) but there's just. significant problems with how much every single relationship in sjm's books is focused on sex, and people being horny.

Starting with the fact that all the ending love interests of the main characters are over 100 years older than the protagonists, the women. I believe Aelin is 18, Feyre is 19, and Bryce is 23 when they meet Rowan, Feyre, and Bryce, and they end up together within a year of knowing each other. Ignoring the "mates" bit of this (fate or whatever the fuck led them to fall in love) this is SO un-okay that I am just so... I don't like it. Age gaps are okay in real life but I'm uncomfortable with them when the younger person is under 30 anyway, let alone under 20 years old. Aelin had been with three people before Rowan and only slept with one, Feyre had been with two other people before Rhys (one of them was a fwb situation, the other was abusive?), and Bryce is the least problematic. At least she was over 20.

Anyway, all the relationship are copypasted. Crescent City especially. in Crescent City, guy and girl meet (there are NO gay relationships for some reason. only sapphic and too few of those as well) and immediately are horny (??) and then it's a slowburn. And then they fuck. I guess there's meaningful shit in between but damn if I remember. I'm almost positive that hunt and bryce were just horny all the fucking time and then they didn't even do anything about it (for absolutely no reason. their deal in hosab was just to drag out the slowburn) until halfway through book 2 when it was very clear they both wanted to. I was very excited for Ruhn and... what's her face. Lydia. I liked their relationship a LOT and then I hated it as soon as they fucked because it took away ALL the meaning. They fell in love too fast, sacrificed themselves too quickly for each other, and I have nooo idea how Ruhn managed to get that horny when he couldn't even see her and she was being sexually fucking harassed daily by literally the worst person ever to have existed. What was a turn on in that situation? NOTHING. OH MY GOD. i hate it a great deal.

The thing I mentioned earlier, the stack of love interests. Throne of glass is my favorite of her series for a few reasons, but one of them is how that love triangle was handled: aka she didn't end up with either Chaol or Dorian, and neither of them were villainized (at first) or killed off which I appreciated. Chaol was later villainized and then redeemed, and while I don't like him (never really did tbh) I do like what ended up happening to him and I also enjoy Dorian's arc. I have my issues with Rowan and Aelin but I'm cool with where they ended up and I appreciate that they didn't have sex CONSTANTLY. only sometimes. better. I liked Sam. That was good for Aelin's arc.

Larger problem is Feyre and Tamlin. Obviously, Tamlin sucks genuine ass, but the reason this was such a shock was because he was a perfectly fine person in the first book? I can understand that he locked Feyre in the house, I can understand that he was inactive/unavailable and that's why she went with Rhys and that's fine! whatever! but... he was villainized and then unvillainized and I just. don't get it. I'm so tired of this. Rhys is a bad fucking person and I don't like him oh my god why did the mate thing happen. Cassian and Nesta are even worse and I WILL make a separate post about how her character was put into a meat grinder if someone wants me to.

I was planning on eleborating more but this post is SO LONG and I am sooo tired. congrats for reading this far if u did 😭😭

TLDR: sjm's characters are unreasonably horny all the time and copypasted into each other's stories, throne of glass was the best because it was original, (also the plots are all the same), and the twist at the end of hosab was fan service. thank u. i'm out.

[janiedean]

j*onsa as batb what? which of them is the beast? how are two conventionally attractive people a batb retelling when they don't even have any connection to being the beast?? (the only jon connection is him warging into ghost lmfao and that's not... batb... at all...) (also like... congrats on missing the point of batb lol)

also they may have shat on jb in the show but they also gave us them kissing and sleeping together how are people still calling them platonic jesus. at this point grrm could publish winds of winter and it could just be an entire book about jaime and brienne banging and people would still say ohooo platonic sex nothing romantic just two bros having sex jfc, this is as delusional as c/ersei

I mean... none of them is because it's not that dynamic and honestly it's laughable on five different levels bc george has been saying for ages that he has TWO batb dynamics in these books one is played straight one not and it's sansan and jb the end bc with sansan like... it's pretty fucking obvious who's who and with jb both of them covered both beauty and beast roles same as they cover both knight and maiden and like........ not to be that ass but last time jon was in the knight/maiden dynamic it was with ygritte and certainly he wasn't the knight but *RAISES HANDS TO THE SUN*

that said like... the fun thing is that they need to put down jb saying it's platonic (sigh the hatred for that word) when grrm said there's TWO of those ships in these books so it's not like there can be just one but at the same time they're still blatantly totally ignoring that sandor is there which to me is the uttermost hilarious thing like.... pals sansa is in that dynamic with someone else already just admit you're into j*nsa for whichever reason it is and stop trying to attach other ppl's storylines to it (though weeeelll I mean... I've seen that done with sansa's arc anyway as in attaching stuff from other characters's so whatever *THROWS HANDS UP*) and like I'm here just... you can dislike sansan just accept it's there X°D because like shoehorning jon into sandor's role is just nonsensical and the warging thing is even less sensed and anyway it's not going to be canon anyway so, but again..... eh, as I've been saying a bunch of times ppl really need to ask themselves why they're so quick to ignore all the canon signs pointing to sandor (or tyrion if you wanna go there) bc this thing that sansa (as femininestandardattractive female character) can't somehow be in a romantic relationship to a dude that's not like standard pretty attractive when the entire schtick of her arc is that she needs to see that the brave and valiant knight doesn't look like joffrey is like...... guys please make peace with it

winds of winter and it could just be an entire book about jaime and brienne banging and people would still say ohooo platonic sex nothing romantic just two bros having sex jfc, this is as delusional as c/ersei

again, never mind that the original meaning of platonic is that they bang and are soulmates so this entire thing where they use platonic to say it can't be romantic still kills me to this day..... I mean it's 2021 and the show went there for all its faults so at this point sorry but anyone who's still arguing differently can't handle the concept that a nonstandardattractive woman who doesn't get the makeover can be in a romantic story with the hottest dude in the kingdom who's actually into her back and that's it and at this point I have zero patience for people who say they read these books but can't accept the basic message that being nonstandardattractive and staying like that doesn't mean you can't find love for yourself without the makeover, and if they can't... unpack whatever internalized societal crap you have but don't go around denying the evidence which is that they're romantic and they're gonna stay romantic and it's not gonna be fwb X°DDDDD

[celticcrossanon]

Full Order of Service (as the one below is missing pages)

from https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/order-service-funeral-prince-philip-77134393

LONDON -- This is the Order of Service for the funeral of Prince Philip on Saturday:

ORDER OF SERVICE

All stand. The Coffin is removed from the Land Rover and is carried to the West Steps where it rests at 3pm for the one minute National Silence.

The Coffin is then carried to the Catafalque in the Quire.

Members of the Royal Family who have walked in the Procession are conducted to their places in the Quire.

Meanwhile, the choir sings

THE SENTENCES

I AM the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.

John 11. 25-26

I KNOW that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another.

Job 19. 25-27

WE brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

1 Timothy 6. 7, Job 1. 21

William Croft (1678-1727)

All remain standing. The Dean of Windsor shall say

THE BIDDING

WE are here today in St George’s Chapel to commit into the hands of God the soul of his servant Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. With grateful hearts, we remember the many ways in which his long life has been a blessing to us. We have been inspired by his unwavering loyalty to our Queen, by his service to the Nation and the Commonwealth, by his courage, fortitude and faith. Our lives have been enriched through the challenges that he has set us, the encouragement that he has given us, his kindness, humour and humanity. We therefore pray that God will give us grace to follow his example, and that, with our brother Philip, at the last, we shall know the joys of life eternal.

All sit. The choir sings

ETERNAL Father, strong to save,

Whose arm doth bind the restless wave,

Who bidd’st the mighty ocean deep

Its own appointed limits keep;

O hear us when we cry to thee

For those in peril on the sea.

O Saviour, whose almighty word

The winds and waves submissive heard,

Who walkedst on the foaming deep,

And calm amid its rage didst sleep:

O hear us when we cry to thee

For those in peril on the sea.

O sacred Spirit, who didst brood

Upon the chaos dark and rude,

Who bad’st its angry tumult cease,

And gavest light and life and peace:

O hear us when we cry to thee

For those in peril on the sea.

O Trinity of love and power,

Our brethren shield in danger’s hour;

From rock and tempest, fire and foe,

Protect them whereso’er they go:

And ever let there rise to thee

Glad hymns of praise from land and sea.

Melita by J. B. Dykes (1823-76) William Whiting (1825-78)

Arranged by James Vivian (b. 1974)5

All remain seated.

THE FIRST LESSON

Ecclesiasticus 43. 11-26

read by the Dean of Windsor

LOOK at the rainbow and praise its Maker; it shines with a supreme beauty, rounding the sky with its gleaming arc, a bow bent by the hands of the Most High. His command speeds the snow storm and sends the swift lightning to execute his sentence. To that end the storehouses are opened, and the clouds fly out like birds. By his mighty power the clouds are piled up and the hailstones broken small. The crash of his thunder makes the earth writhe, and, when he appears, an earthquake shakes the hills. At his will the south wind blows, the squall from the north and the hurricane. He scatters the snow-flakes like birds alighting; they settle like a swarm of locusts. The eye is dazzled by their beautiful whiteness, and as they fall the mind is entranced. He spreads frost on the earth like salt, and icicles form like pointed stakes. A cold blast from the north, and ice grows hard on the water, settling on every pool, as though the water were putting on a breastplate. He consumes the hills, scorches the wilderness, and withers the grass like fire. Cloudy weather quickly puts all to rights, and dew brings welcome relief after heat. By the power of his thought he tamed the deep and planted it with islands. Those who sail the sea tell stories of its dangers, which astonish all who hear them; in it are strange and wonderful creatures, all kinds of living things and huge sea-monsters. By his own action he achieves his end, and by his word all things are held together.

All remain seated as the choir sings

THE JUBILATE

O BE joyful in the Lord, all ye lands:

serve the Lord with gladness,

and come before his presence with a song.

Be ye sure that the Lord he is God:

it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

O go your way into his gates with thanksgiving,

and into his courts with praise:

be thankful unto him, and speak good of his Name.

For the Lord is gracious, his mercy is everlasting:

and his truth endureth from generation to generation.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son: and to the Holy Ghost;

As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be:

world without end. Amen.

Benjamin Britten (1913-76), in C

Written for St George’s Chapel, Windsor at the request of The Duke of Edinburgh

All remain seated.

THE SECOND LESSON

John 11. 21-27

read by the Archbishop of Canterbury

MARTHA said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. And even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and whoever lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, he who is coming into the world.”

All remain seated as the choir sings

PSALM 104

The Duke of Edinburgh requested that Psalm 104 should be set to music by William Lovelady.

Originally composed as a cantata in three movements, it was first sung in honour of His Royal Highness’s 75th Birthday.

MY SOUL give praise unto the Lord of heaven,

In majesty and honour clothed;

The earth he made will not be moved,

The seas he made to be its robe. Give praise.

The waters rise above the highest mountain,

And flow down to the vales and leas;

At springs, wild asses quench their thirst,

And birds make nest amid the trees.

The trees the Lord has made are full of vigour,

The fir tree is a home for storks;

Wild goats find refuge in the hills,

From foes the conies shelter in the rocks.

My soul give praise unto the Lord of heaven,

In majesty and honour clothed;

The earth he made will not be moved,

The seas he made to be its robe. Give praise.7

O Lord, how manifold is your creation,

All things in wisdom you provide;

You give your riches to the earth,

And to the sea so great and wide.

You take your creatures breath and life is ended,

Your breath goes forth and life begins;

Your hand renews the face of earth,

Your praise my whole life I will sing.

My soul give praise unto the Lord of heaven,

In majesty and honour clothed;

The earth he made will not be moved,

The seas he made to be its robe. Give praise.

William Lovelady (b. 1945) abridged and arranged for choir and organ by James Vivian (b. 1974) with the composer’s permission

Words from Psalm 104, adapted by Sam Dyer (b. 1945)

The choir sings

THE LESSER LITANY

Let us pray.

All sit or kneel.

LORD, have mercy upon us.

Christ, have mercy upon us.

Lord, have mercy upon us.

THE LORD’S PRAYER

OUR Father, which art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy Name;

Thy kingdom come;

Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive them that trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation;

But deliver us from evil. Amen.

THE RESPONSES

ENTER not into judgement with thy servant, O Lord.

For in thy sight shall no man living be justified.

Grant unto him eternal rest.

And let light perpetual shine upon him.

We believe verily to see the goodness of the Lord.

In the land of the living.

O Lord, hear our prayer.

And let our cry come unto thee.

William Smith (1603-45), adapted by Roger Judd, MVO (b. 1944)

The Lord’s Prayer, Music by Robert Stone (1516-1613) from John Day’s Certaine Notes 1565

THE COLLECT

The Dean of Windsor shall say

O MERCIFUL God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is the resurrection and the life; in whom whosoever believeth shall live, though he die; and whosoever liveth, and believeth in him, shall not die eternally; who also hath taught us by his Holy Apostle Saint Paul, not to be sorry, as men without hope, for them that sleep in him: We meekly beseech thee, O Father that, when we shall depart this life, we may rest in him, as our hope is this our brother doth; and that, at the general resurrection in the last day, we may be found acceptable in thy sight; and receive that blessing, which thy well-beloved Son shall then pronounce to all that love and fear thee, saying, Come ye blessed children of my Father; receive the kingdom prepared for you from the beginning of the world. Grant this we beseech thee, O merciful Father through Jesus Christ, our Mediator and Redeemer. Amen.

THE PRAYERS

The Archbishop of Canterbury shall say

O ETERNAL God, before whose face the generations rise and pass away, thyself unchanged, abiding, we bless thy holy name for all who have completed their earthly course in thy faith and following, and are now at rest; we remember before thee this day Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, rendering thanks unto thee-for his resolute faith and loyalty, for his high sense of duty and integrity, for his life of service to the Nation and Commonwealth, and for the courage and inspiration of his leadership. To him, with all the faithful departed, grant thy peace; Let light perpetual shine upon them; and in thy loving wisdom and almighty power work in them the good purpose of thy perfect will; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Dean of Windsor, Register of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, shall say

O LORD, who didst give to thy servant Saint George grace to lay aside the fear of man, and to be faithful even unto death: Grant that we, unmindful of worldly honour, may fight the wrong, uphold thy rule, and serve thee to our lives’ end; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

GOD save our gracious Sovereign and all the Companions, living and departed, of the Most Honourable and Noble Order of The Garter. Amen.

O GOD of the spirits of all flesh, we praise thy holy name for thy servant Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, who has left us a fair pattern of valiant and true knighthood; grant unto him the assurance of thine ancient promise that thou wilt ever be with those who go down to the sea in ships and occupy their business in great waters. And we beseech thee that, following his good example and strengthened by his fellowship, we may at the last, together with him, be partakers of thy heavenly kingdom; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Archbishop of Canterbury shall say

O LORD God, when thou givest to thy servants to endeavour any great matter, grant us also to know that it is not the beginning, but the continuing of the same unto the end, until it be thoroughly finished, which yieldeth the true glory; through him, who for the finishing of thy work laid down his life, our Redeemer, Jesus Christ. Amen.

ALMIGHTY God, Father of all mercies and giver of all comfort: Deal graciously, we pray thee, with those who mourn; that casting every care on thee they may know the consolation of thy love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.10

All sit as the choir sings

THE ANTHEM

GIVE rest, O Christ, to thy servant with thy Saints:

where sorrow and pain are no more;

neither sighing, but life everlasting.

Thou only art immortal, the Creator and Maker of man:

And we are mortal, formed of the earth, and unto earth shall we return.

For so thou didst ordain, when thou createdest me, saying,

Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

All we go down to the dust; and, weeping, o’er the grave,

we make our song: Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.

Russian Kontakion of the Departed

Translated William John Birkbeck (1859-1916)

Kiev Melody, arranged by Sir Walter Parratt, KCVO (1841-1924)

All stand.

As the Coffin is lowered into the Royal Vault, the Dean of Windsor shall say

THE COMMENDATION

GO forth upon thy journey from this world, O Christian soul,

In the name of God the Father Almighty who created thee;

In the name of Jesus Christ who suffered for thee;

In the name of the Holy Spirit who strengtheneth thee;

May thy portion this day be in peace,

and thy dwelling in the heavenly Jerusalem. Amen.

All remain standing. Garter Principal King of Arms proclaims

THE STYLES AND TITLES OF HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE PHILIP DUKE OF EDINBURGH

THUS it hath pleased Almighty God to take out of this transitory life unto his divine mercy the late most Illustrious and most Exalted Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Earl of Merioneth and Baron Greenwich, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Member of the Order of Merit, Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order upon whom had been conferred the Royal Victorian Chain, Grand Master and Knight Grand Cross of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, Lord

High Admiral of the United Kingdom, One of Her Majesty’s Most Honourable Privy Council, Admiral of the Fleet, Field Marshal in the Army and Marshal of the Royal Air Force, Husband of Her Most Excellent Majesty Elizabeth the Second by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories, Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, Sovereign of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, whom may God preserve and bless with long life, health and honour and all worldly happiness.

Thereafter, the Pipe Major of The Royal Regiment of Scotland plays

A LAMENT

The Buglers of the Royal Marines sound

THE LAST POST

After a period of silence the State Trumpeters of the Household Cavalry sound

REVEILLE

The Buglers of the Royal Marines sound

ACTION STATIONS

Then the Archbishop of Canterbury pronounces

THE BLESSING

All remain standing as the choir sings

THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

GOD save our gracious Queen,

Long live our noble Queen,

God save The Queen!

Send her victorious,

Happy and glorious,

Long to reign over us,

God save The Queen!

All remain standing in their places as Her Majesty The Queen, Members of the Royal Family and Members of The Duke of Edinburgh’s Family leave the Chapel via the Galilee Porch escorted by the Dean of Windsor and the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Music after the service

Luke Bond, Assistant Director of Music, St George’s Chapel, will play

Prelude and Fugue in C minor BWV 546 Johann Sebastian Bach

END

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[sudoki-sara]

Decided on yes I will make more rwby Hamilton au. These Hamilton songs are Aaron burr sir and my shot

Citizens: 1776. Feldspar City.

Jaune: Pardon me. Are you Ruby Rose ma’am?

Ruby: That depends. Who’s asking?

Jaune: Oh, well, sure, ma’am. I’m Jaune Arc I’m at you service, ma’am. I have been looking for you.

Ruby: I’m getting nervous.

Jaune: Ma’am... I heard your name at Coquina. I was seeking an accelerated course of study when I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punch him. It’s a blur, ma’am. He handle the financials?

Ruby: You punched the bursar.

Jaune: Yes! I wanted to do what you did. Graduate in two, then join the revaluation. He looked at me like I was stupid. I’m not stupid so how’d you do it? How’d you graduate so fast?

Ruby: It was my mother’s dying wish before she passed.

Jaune: You’re an orphan. Of course I’m an orphan god, I wish there was a war! Then we could prove that we’re worth more than anyone bargained for...

Ruby: Can I buy you a drink?

Jaune: That would be nice.

Ruby: While we’re talking. Let me offer you some free advice talk less.

Jaune: What?

Ruby: Smile more.

Jaune: Ha.

Ruby: Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.

Jaune: You can’t be serious.

Ruby: You wanna get ahead?

Jaune: Yes.

Ruby: Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead.

Weiss: Yo yo yo yo yo! What time is it?

Weiss/Ren/Nora: Show time!

Ruby: Like I said.

Weiss: Show time show time! I’m Weiss Schnee in the place to be! Two pints of O’ Sam Adams but I’m working on three, uh! Those Redcoats don’t want it with me! Cuz I will pop chick-a pop these cops till I’m free!

Ren: Oui oui, mon ami, je mappelle Lie Ren! The Lancelot of the revolutionary set! I came from afar just to say bonsoir! Tell the king “Casse toi! Who’s the best cest moi!”

Nora: Brrrah brraaah! I am Nora Valkyrie up in it, lovin it, yes I heard your mother say “come again.”

Ren/Weiss: Ayyyy

Nora: Lock up ya daughters and horses. Of course it’s hard to have intercourses over four sets of corsets...

Ren: wow

Weiss: No more sex, pour me another brew, son! Let’s raise a couple more...

Weiss/Nora/Ren: To the revolution!

Weiss: Well if it ain’t the prodigy of Beacon Academy.

Nora: Ruby Rose!

Weiss: Give us a verse. Drop some knowledge!

Ruby: Good luck with that. You’re takin’ a stand you spit Imma sit we’ll see where we land.

Nora/Ren: Booo

Weiss: Ruby, the revolution is imminent. What do you stall for?

Jaune: If you stand for nothing, Ruby, what’ll you fall for?

Ren/Nora/Weiss: Ooh, who you? Who you? Who are you? Ooh, who is this kid? What’s he gonna do?

I was gonna end it here but then I remembered how “My Shot” continues this song so...

Jaune: I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot! Hey yo, I’m just like my crountry young, scrappy, and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot!

Jaune: Imma get a scholarship to Shade Academy I prob’ly shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish. The problem is I got a lot of brains but no polish. I gotta holler just to be heard. With every word, I drop knowledge.

Jaune: I’m a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal. Tryin’ to reach my goal. My power of speech: unimpeachable. Only nineteen but my mind is older. These Feldspar city streets get colder, I shoulder.

Jaune: Ev’ry burden, ev’ry disadvantage. I have learned to manage, I don’t have a gun to brandish. I walk these streets famished.

Jaune: The plan is to fan this spark into a flame. But damn, it’s getting dark, so let me spell out the name I am the—

Jaune/Ren/Nora/Weiss/ J-A-U-N-E-A-R-C— We are—meant to be...

Jaune: A colony that runs independently. Meanwhile, Atlas Keeps shittin on us endlessly. Essentially, they tax us relentlessly. Then General James turns around, runs a spending spree. He ain’t ever gonna set his descendants free. So there will be a revolution in this century. Enter me!

Ren/Nora/Weiss: He says in parenthesis.

Jaune: Don’t be shocked when your Hist’ry book mentions me. I will lay down my life if it sets us free. Eventually you’ll see my ascendancy.

Jaune: And I am not throwing away my shot!

Weiss: My shot!

Jaune: I am not throwing away my shot!

Weiss: My shot!

Jaune: Hey yo, I’m just like my country. I’m young, scrappy, and hungry. And I’m not throwing away my shot!

Ren/Nora/Weiss: I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot! Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy, and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot! It’s time to take a shot!

Ren: I dream of life without a monarchy. The unrest in Vale will lead to ‘onarchy? ‘Onarchy? How you say, how you say, ‘anarchy? When I fight I make the other side panicky. With my—

All four: SHOT!

Nora: Yo, I’m a tailors apprentice. And I got y’all knuckleheads in loco parentis. I’m joining the rebellion cuz I know it’s my chance. To socially advance, instead of sewin’ some pants! I’m gonna take a—

All four: SHOT!

Weiss: But we’ll never be truly free. Until those in bondage have the same rights as you and me. You and I. Do or die. Wait till I sally in on a stallion with the first black battalion. Have another—

All four: SHOT!

Ruby: Geniuses, lower your voices. You keep out of trouble and you double your choices. I’m with you, but the situation is fraught. You’ve got to be carefully taught: if you talk your gonna get shot!

Jaune: Ruby, check what we got. Mister Lie Ren, hard rock like Lancelot I think your pants look hot. Weiss I like you a lot let’s hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin’ the pot.

Jaune: What are the odds the gods would put us all in one spot. Poppin’ a squat on conventional wisdom, like it or not. A bunch of revolutionary manumission abolitionists? Give me a position, show me where the ammunition is!

Jaune: Oh, am I talking’ too loud? Sometimes I get overexcited, shout off at the mouth. I never had a group of friends before. I Promise that I’ll make y’all proud.

Weiss: Let’s get this guy in front of a crowd!

All four: I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot! Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy, and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot!

All four: I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot! Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy, and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot!

Weiss: Everybody sing:Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Whoa! Wooh! Whoa! Aye let em hear ya! Let’s go!

Jaune/Ren/Nora: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Yea!

Citizens: Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Yea!

Weiss: I said shout it to the rooftops! Said, to the rooftops! Come on! Come on let’s go!

Weiss: Rise up! When you’re living on your knees, you rise up! Tell your brother that he’s gotta rise up! Tell your sister that she’s gotta rise up!

Weiss/Citizens: When are these colonies gonna rise up?

Citizens: Whoa! Whoa!

Weiss/citizens: When are the colonies gonna rise up?

Citizens: Whoa!

Weiss/citizens: When are these colonies gonna rise up?

Citizens: Whoa!

Weiss/Citizens: When are these colonies gonna rise up? Rise up!

Jaune: I imagine death so much that it feels more like a memory. When’s it gonna get me? In my sleep? Seven feet ahead of me? If I see it comin’, do I run or do I let it be? Is it like a beat without a melody?

Jaune: See I never thought I’d live past twenty. Where I come from some get half as many. Ask anybody why we livin’ fast and we laugh, reach for a flask. We have to make this moment last, that’s plenty.

Jaune: Scratch that, this is not a moment, it’s the movement where all the hungriest brothers with something to prove went? Foes oppose us, we take an honest stand we roll like Moses, claimin’ our promised land.

Jaune: And? If we win our independence? Is that a guarantee of freedom for our descendants? Or will the blood we shed begin an endless cycle of vengeance and death with no defendant?

Jaune: I know the action in the street is excitin’ but Jesus, between all the bleedin’ and fightin’ I’ve been readin’ ‘n writin’ we need to handle our financial situation. Are we a nation of states? What’s the state of our nation?

Jaune: I’m past patiently waitin’. I’m passionately smashin’ every expectation every action’s an act of creation. I’m laughin’ in the face of casualties and sorrow. For the first time, I’m thinkin’ past tomorrow!

Jaune/Citizens: And I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot! Hey yo I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy, and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot!

Jaune/Ren/Nora/Weiss: We’re gonna rise up! Time to take a shot! We’re gonna rise up! Time to take a shot!

Citizens: Not throwing away my shot! Not throwing away my shot!

Jaune/Ren/Nora/Weiss: We’re gonna

Citizens: We’re gonna rise up rise up

Jaune: Time to take a shot.

Citizens: Rise up Rise up!

Jaune/Ren/Nora/Weiss: Time to take a shot!

Citizens: Rise up!

JRNW: Time to take a shot!

Citizens: Rise up!

JNRW: Take a shot shot shot!

Citizens: Ri—ri—ri

JNRW: A-yo it’s time to take a shot! Time to take a shot! And I am— Not throwin’ away my—

Citizens: Time to take a shot! Time to take a shot! And I am— Not throwin’ away my shot!

[frumfrumfroo]

My best friend has never seen Star Wars but went to TROS with friends. She doesn’t watch/read Sci-Fi or fantasy. She teaches literature, & somehow her take on the movie was that it was good if somewhat simplistic. She said she saw the clear vision of good vs evil, the Jesus allusion, the Romeo/Juliet allusion, & hope/love save the day. I love your meta & don’t have the same skill in explaining why the story doesn’t work. Could you share some points that a non-Star Wars person would understand?

I haven’t and will never actually watch this film in its entirety, so I’m not really the best person to give you a detailed breakdown addressing it on its own merits instead of why the concluding beats are inexcusable in context.

But I would hope someone who teaches literature would know better than to think there’s anything like a coherent vision of good and evil here? Would know what Romeo and Juliet is actually about and that it has nothing whatsoever in common with this nonsense?

This isn’t Romeo and Juliet. R&J is about the idealistic lovers as causalities of a pointless conflict based on pride and stubborn clinging on to hatred the source of which isn’t even remembered. The opposing sides aren’t functionally or morally different, it’s just prejudice. The avoidable and unnecessary nature of the lover’s deaths is the thematic centre of the narrative.

In Star Wars the war is a metaphor for the conflict going on in the human spirit between selfishness and love (aka compassion, aka selflessness). The Empire/First Order/Dark Side are straight up evil and there is no compromise possible with them. People on the dark side can be saved, people in the First Order can be saved, but they are on the wrong side and the good guys are right to fight against that side. The problem in the galaxy is selfish choices and selfish choices create evil, but love is always stronger than violence and love is productive- choosing love is choosing life. There is no punishment and sacrifice is rewarded. Love doesn’t kill you, love sets you free and allows you to live.

R&J is also a tragedy in the most textbook literal sense, where Star Wars is supposed to be an idealistic fairy tale about hope. Maybe people should keep this in mind when comparing the endings. Edit: And I thought it went without saying, but I guess I need to mention: Romeo and Juliet both died. The point was the waste of their lives and their love. Ben dying for Rey to live just has nothing NOTHING to do with that. Sad lovers =/= R&J. Read more than four books ever.

Another anon summed up some points on agency and good/evil:

TRoS is not even remotely good at its own merits, like: judging from the clunky dialogue this is *ostensibly* about Evil being seemingly inevitable and Good being a free active choice, but the story undermines all of that! Finn’s deflection as a result of Force sensitivity, “And I am all the Jedi” and “Rey, Rey Skywalker” present Good in this story as being just another determinist system. The only act of heroic choice is Ben’s, and he still inevitably dies unmourned and unacknowledged             

And what they have done to Rey’s story has completely stripped her of moral agency of any kind. She has power because of her bloodline, she has some kind of ill-defined ‘darkness’ because of her bloodline, nothing organic to her as an individual remains. She has no conflict or moral choice, she’s just Innately Good. This determinism is violently opposed to the message of sw that everyone always has a choice, that evil is something you choose over time, that good is a decision you can ALWAYS make.

Ben’s redemption is completely undermined by making his motivations suddenly totally unclear and predicating his turn on Rey telling him she wanted to take ‘Ben’s hand’. Implying a) that he’s only Ben when he’s good instead of calling him on his bullshit persona and forcing him to accept he’s always Ben b) that her love is conditional c) that he turns not because he has realised he’s wrong about fatalism and the ends justifying the means but because he’s realised Rey will never be with him on the dark side and d) that Rey has never faced any temptations or even considered being selfish by buying into his damaged world view just to be with him.

This is morality chain writing and robs both characters of any resonance. Turning because he wants to be with Rey is not redemption. Rey giving him an ultimatum is not grace or love. There is no SW heroism here.

Rey’s whole battle with Palpatine and death is stupid and makes no sense. She wins with violence and makes no sacrifices. Ben’s sacrifice is arbitrary and not justifiable and doesn’t conclude his arc. It’s a continuation of his enslavement, an abnegation of his identity and legacy when he needed to reclaim it.

My tags for the foundational principles of sw and how they work and also the character tags with posts explaining why this shit don’t make sense for them:

space crime and punishment

Rey

Ben Solo

redemption

the legacy

don’t call the exorcist we got a happy murder pact

Like, everything your friend said is wrong if they think any part of this holds together, but I’ve written dozens of disparate rants on why and I’m not really prepared to summarise atm. The Rey tag is your best bet for some good overviews of TRoS bullshit, and there are some compilations with links further down. Ben tag has more about fatalism (also Luke’s arc in TLJ, also Vader’s only textual set up for redemption in the OT).

Ben dying for her is totally unacceptable predestination rubbish in a moral drama about the power of an individual’s choice. There’s no hope unless he lives because he is the happy ending of the previous trilogies, there’s no hope or light possible in the GFFA unless he lives because if the family’s existence was one of tragedy, failure, and suffering then the Force made a mistake in creating the Skywalkers. Or the Force is not benevolent. It breaks the entire story and all of its mythology.

And they gave Rey everyone else’s arcs (for no reason) after stripping her of hers (for no reason), except she resolves these arcs by being Born Good and never struggling where the characters to whom they organically belonged made meaningful choices. She is handed everything where Ben doesn’t deserve to live because he couldn’t raise himself and couldn’t cope with being abused his entire life without making some mistakes and having some ugly trauma. He redeems himself (BY himself) and it’s still not good enough. Rey makes no heroic unselfish choice, he does and he’s rewarded with death. This makes love and good transactional, it means he needs to pay for Anakin’s sins. He’s a victim and barely comes-of-age, but he’s dead while his family doesn’t give a shit. It’s disgusting.

[ceealaina]

Title: Caught Somewhere in Time Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card Number: 3088 Link: AO3 Square R2 - Time Heist Ship: Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Rating: Teen Major Tags: Avengers: Endgame - Alternate 2012 Timeline, Team Bonding Summary: There was something weird about the aftermath of the Battle of New York, too many coincidences and Tony hasn't been able to stop poking at it. Turns out, Steve's been noticing some weird things too. Word Count: 1703

SOMEWHERE IN AN ALTERNATE 2012

Tony frowned, watching the footage from the Battle of New York aftermath yet again. Something about that entire thing wasn’t sitting right with him. Tony wasn’t a big believer in coincidences at the best of times, and this was entirely too many of them. The arc reactor randomly malfunctioning, the Tesseract somehow ‘falling’ out of the locked case, Loki getting his hands on it and then using his newfound freedom to wipe the floor with Rogers, grab the scepter, and then… Disappear entirely? None of it made any damn sense. And there was something else niggling at the back of his mind. He barely remembered it, on account of being in the middle of dying at the time, but there’d been a SHIELD agent, someone he hadn’t been able to track down, calling for a medic in a voice that was painfully familiar but in a way that he couldn’t quite place. 

Unfortunately, information from that day was seriously lacking. Half the lobby security cameras had gone down in the battle, and since the tower wasn’t supposed to be open to the public yet, and it wasn’t like he kept proprietary information in the lobby, he hadn’t bothered giving them backups and failsafes yet. Which meant he had exactly one angle that would show how the supposedly secured case spontaneously opened, and that was blocked by a view of Thor’s gorgeous rear end as he restarted Tony’s heart with a bolt of lightning. In addition to that, there was absolutely nothing on the mysterious SHIELD agent that nobody seemed to remember — although, there was an audio file of him calling for the medic, so at least Tony wasn’t making it up. He did have a clear shot of the Tesseract sliding to Loki’s feet only to have him pick it up and vanish, but there was nothing of Steve’s fight with Loki. 

And that was something else too. Steve had been weird after that fight, obviously unsettled in a way he hadn’t been since Tony had met him in Stuttgart. The man had just woken up to find himself seventy years in the future a week ago, Tony had expected him to freak out any number of times. And sure, it didn’t take a psychologist to see that his mental health probably wasn’t the greatest, but he’d been fine — certainly as good as Tony on some of his better days. So what was it about that five-minute fight that had finally been the thing to throw Rogers off? 

“Sir, you have a visitor requesting entry.” 

JARVIS’ voice pulled Tony from his thoughts, and he blinked down at the camera feed only to startle at the familiar form of Steve standing at parade rest as he waited in front of the lab doors.

“God, I hope I’m not suddenly developing psychic powers,” he muttered before waving at the door. “Let him in, J.”

The last that he’d heard, Steve was supposed to be in Washington. After the mess following the battle, SHIELD had lost their shit, Alexander Pierce throwing a hissy fit and pulling rank. They couldn’t actually do anything with Tony or Thor, and Tony had managed to get Bruce tucked away before they could even try anything with him, but in revenge they had recalled both Clint and Nat. Then they claimed that Steve was one of their assets too, and while Tony had been ready to fight them on it, Steve hadn’t argued. Tony had let them all know that they had an open invitation to stay at the tower if they got tired of SHIELD’s bullshit, their biometrics already inputted in the system, but he hadn’t heard a peep from any of them in the six weeks since. So what the hell was Steve doing here now?

He swiped his hand, flicking away the surveillance footage just as the sliding doors opened and Steve stepped through. He was dressed in civilian clothing, a pair of well fitted jeans (thank god, Tony might have cried if he’d been back in those khakis with the grandpa pleats) and a grey t-shirt, but it didn’t stop him from standing at parade rest. Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Steve tilted his head in a slight nod. “Stark.” 

Tony gave an enormous, exaggerated sigh, letting his entire body heave with the force of it. “Jesus,” He drawled. “You’re killing me, smalls. Kick back a little, relax, cool it with the American soldier routine. We saved the world together, Cap. You can at least call me Tony.”

Steve gave him a crooked smile, some of the tension easing out of his body. “Tony,” he corrected himself, his voice a little warmer than before. “Sorry,” he added after a moment. “Washington has been… Hectic. Sometimes it’s easier to just fall into routine, wear it like an armour, you know?”

Tony arched his eyebrows, a little weirded out by how well Steve seemed to know him sometimes without even realizing it. “Yeah, I think I know what you mean,” he said with a rueful grin. “Still,” he clapped his hands together, titled back precariously in his wheely chair. “You’re among friends here, Steve.” He shifted forward again and hooked his ankle around the leg of another chair, hauling it away from the table. “Sit down, take a load off. Tell me what’s troubling that star spangled mind of yours.” 

That earned him an eyeroll, but Tony could tell Steve was fighting back a smile as he dropped into the offered seat. “So the thing is…” He trailed off a moment, rubbing at the back of his neck as he tried to work out what he wanted to say. “I’ve been working with this new team, out of SHIELD? I think they were one of the teams that stepped in here, after the Battle?” 

“And what, you’re missing the old crew already? Wanna get the gang back together?” 

“No. Well…” Steve huffed out a soft laugh. “It’s not quite the same,” he admitted. “But that’s not why I’m here. There’s… There’s something up with the STRIKE team.” 

Curiosity piqued, Tony leaned forward, elbows on his thighs. “Oh yeah? What’s up?” 

“They keep saying weird things to me.” Steve met Tony’s gaze steadily. “Like, ‘Hail Hydra.’” 

It took a minute for Tony to even process the words, and when he did he let out a low whistle. “Shit,” he said. 

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “Shit.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I don’t know who in SHIELD is compromised, who we can trust… how this is even possible? I haven’t seen Natasha or Clint since we arrived in Washington, and well... “ He shrugged helplessly. “I couldn’t think who else I could come to with this.” 

Tony arched an eyebrow at him. “You trust me?” 

Steve gave him a pointed look. “We saved the world together, Tony,” he said, echoing Tony’s earlier words. “Of course I trust you. And whatever I think of your methods, I’m damn sure you’re not a fucking Nazi.” 

Tony grinned, trying to ignore the ten-year-old Tony in his head losing his shit over the fact that Captain fucking America trusted him. “Definitely not,” he promised him. He hesitated a moment, and then flicked his hand again, bringing the surveillance he’d been purviewing back up. “You’re not the only one who’s noticed weird stuff, for what it’s worth.” He offered him a smile. “I’ve been busy, since you’ve been gone. We’ll figure out what the fuck is going on.” 

Steve grinned, kicking his foot against Tony’s. “Glad to have you on my side, Iron Man,” he told him, and Tony couldn’t help grinning back at him. Then Steve’s smile faded slightly, a frown crossing his features instead. 

“What?” Tony asked. “What is it?” 

“There’s something else,” Steve admitted. “When I was fighting Loki, after he escaped?” He drew in a slow breath and Tony leaned back, waiting for him to finish. “I know you read my file, Tony. You know about the Commandos?” He waited for Tony’s nod before continuing. “He told me that Bucky’s still alive.”

“He… What?” 

“Yeah.” Steve gave him a helpless look. “I just… I can’t get it out of my head. If it’s not true, why would he do that? If he was trying to throw me off to get an advantage, how would he know to use Bucky? That’s not how Loki’s powers work -- is it? And if, if it is true…?” He trailed off, looking so lost for a moment Tony felt like he should give him a hug. 

“Okay,” he said instead. “So what we need is a team. People we can actually trust.” He hummed consideringly. “Thor and I have been working to try and track down Loki, not that we’ve gotten anywhere, but I don’t know how much help he’ll be. I feel like this’ll require a level of… subtlety that he doesn’t usually manage.” He grinned when that got a huff of laughter out of Steve.”Bruce is still lying low, which is probably for the best right now. I can find Clint and Nat, don’t worry about that, but we’re gonna need someone else, someone we can trust.” 

Steve considered this, nodding slowly. “I maybe know a guy,” he offered. “Back in Washington. He’s sort of my running buddy?” 

Tony arched a skeptical eyebrow. “You found someone who can keep up with you?” he asked, second eyebrow joining the first when Steve laughed at some kind of private joke. 

“Nah,” he admitted. “But that’s kinda what I like about him. Anyway, he’s good, I know he is. I mean, I know it know it, but also I ran a background check on him?”

“You know how to do that?” Tony teased, laughing when Steve kicked the leg of his chair in retaliation. “Okay, okay, sorry. So we’ll bring in your Washington running buddy too. I know it’s not much, but it’s the start of a plan. And you are the man with a plan.” 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Hilarious.” 

Tony just shrugged. “What do you say, Steve? Time to bring the team back together? Take down the bad guys?” 

 Steve grinned back at him. “Avengers Assemble.”

@tonystarkbingo

[jeremiahwasajoker]

What I Think is Going on with Jeremiah (Spoilers Ahead)

So, as many of you know, Jeremiah “died”. Now, this is obviously disproven due to the fact that he has been shown in an abundance of trailer footage, along with pictures posted teasing his return. I’ve seen many theories speculating on what had happened, the most being a clone/lookalike/Clayface theory. However, after a little further evaluation, I have decided that I do not think this theory is true. I do think that it’s a really good idea and that it’s plausible, but something is telling me that something else had happened instead. I 10000% respect that theory, though, because it might actually happen! Anyway though, personally, I do think that it was the true Jeremiah who was stabbed.

Here are my thoughts on why and what might happen!

Jeremiah talking to himself

So at the beginning of this scene, we see Jeremiah talking to himself about a “gift”, most likely for Bruce, or it could even be himself who he is referring to for all we know. The way he is talking to himself shows that he has split personalities trying to communicate with one another. An interesting note is that Cameron stated in his Entertainment Weekly interview that Jerome lives in him in a way. This is most likely how, as he still lurks in the mind of Jeremiah. But, Jeremiah being Jeremiah, he’s probably going against all of those plans because it's Jerome. The reason why I’m bringing this up is because it links to this being the true J. I feel like a Clayface wouldn’t have these warring personalities in his mind, and I don’t think he would seem genuinely embarrassed if he saw that Ecco was watching him.

Jeremiah talking to Ecco

Another interesting detail comes from the dancing that this lovely pair shares. We see Jeremiah intently listening as Ecco tells her of all the new news she has for him. While they’re waltzing, Ecco tells Jeremiah that Selina wants to kill Jeremiah, and the two share a laugh over that idea. Why would they laugh over that? You could say that they think they’re untouchable from any harm, but here’s something interesting. There was a little detail that I found when I was reading a new article concerning the most recent episode. Here’s a quote from the article itself that stuck out to me: “It's possible that Jeremiah somehow survived his wounds. Perhaps the laughing gas he was dosed with possesses miraculous healing properties? DC's Batman: Endgame comic arc revealed the Joker has special healing abilities due to a substance known as dionesium.” What if they figured out that the laughing gas has healing properties? Let me elaborate.

After being sprayed by the insanity gas, we had seen that the way Jeremiah handled pain was significantly different than the way he did before hand. When Jerome was kicking him in the stomach and when Ecco kicked him in the crotch, you could see that he was in a lot of pain and that he was doubled over on the ground. Then again, those are really sensitive spots of the body. Afterwards, we see Alfred beat the heck out of Jeremiah, and he looks so good like he’s experiencing zero to no pain. Sure, he got a black eye, but he seemed unfazed. When Jeremiah got shot in the shoulder, it seemed like he was a bit stunned that he had been, but pain? He didn’t really show any tell-tale signs of it. He actually had the audacity to pose in that iconic pose that he did. The bullet in his shoulder seemed like the least of his thoughts. Assuming Ecco also got sprayed before she played the game of Russian Roulette to show her loyalty, that could explain why she survived the shot in the head, which is VERY rare. She would, at the most, be in a coma just like Sophia Falcone. What I can gather from all of this evidence is that Jeremiah and Ecco have a pretty high pain tolerance after the insanity gas.

In conclusion, what do I think is going to happen?

I think that Jeremiah’s body is going to restore itself due to the insanity gas’s possible healing properties. He will most likely be laying down where he is in the trailer, and his eyelids will start to beautifully flutter. However, when he wakes up, his mind set will be much different, a mixture of the split personalities of Jerome and himself in his head. That could explain his manic laughter that we’ve seen in trailers and sudden spur of charisma. He was charming when we saw him this episode, but that was because of his past success. I know that there’s that Church of Jeremiah, so perhaps he is going to pull a Jesus and come back to life after 3 or a certain amount of days? There’s no way he’s as holy as Jesus, but it might spur something in Ecco or the cult.  

Thank you for reading this! Sometimes I just have to put my thoughts down on here out to you guys to get it out of my head and to actually tell someone about it, because no one that I know really watches Gotham. I hope you enjoyed!

[undeadmanbun]

Hi @nanyallen13 ! Thanks so much for the asks and blog compliments and sorry for the delay in replying. To make it easier to reply in one post I’ve screenshot the asks and anyone reading will need to go from bottom to top (they’re numbered).

I’m so glad you got in touch, it’s really great to get other opinions and takes because the nature of our ship and theories (and people’s knee-jerk reactions to them) means we’re often in our own corner of fandom, so non-jonsa opinions and input is great to hear. I hope all the jonsa meta people see this, they’ll be please to hear you enjoy their posts. And your English is amazing btw!

We never, ever ask that anyone ships it, all we really are out here doing is saying to folks “look, look at this foreshadowing, look at this evidence! we’re not crazy like you say we are!” and mostly we get crickets or yelled at, so it’s really nice to hear from a "neutral” that you think it could happen. Ok, this might be a bit messy because I’m out of practice, but to answer your questions...

What did I think of Dany before season 7?

I agree with what you said, but I began to take issue with her a little ahead of season 7, maybe season 5. I was still thrilled when she left for Westeros in season 6 because this is what we’d been waiting for all this time, but season 7 really sealed the deal for her arc taking a darker trajectory. I didn’t have especially strong opinions on Dany after season 1, I actually found her non-Westerosi arc kind of uninteresting for a long while and cheered on her “badass” moments, but, in hindsight, I think that’s because on first/second/third viewing I hadn’t realised where this was going.

I think I started to question some of her actions in season 5, when she burns the guy using the dragons, when her dragons are out of control and burn the child, when the teacher tells her it’s not a black and white situation (I’m writing this quickly, haven’t gone back to check names etc) but didn’t think too much about it until she was on the doorstep of characters I care for. That’s when it really hit home. Suddenly she was a threat to the characters I love. I wasn’t convinced of her being a full blown antagonist for a long while, but I’m more and more convinced she is as time goes on. A recent rewatch solidified this for me because when you go back in looking for it it’s kind of obvious (season one is FULL of foreshadowing, it’s amazing).

And you’re right. Perfect hero Dany is absolutely not an interesting character, she’s bland, unrealistic. But beautiful, dangerous, complex, flawed villain origin story Dany? Well, she’s a different matter. Dangerous and unpredictable “dark!dany” is a far more interesting character, and one that will go down in the history of female characters. We’re getting to see how a Cersei comes to be, and that’s fascinating stuff.

The stans have sadly created some power fantasy projection of the character wherein they want her to not only get everything in the story, but to be everything all at once to them, and she simply cannot do/be that, she’ll be human, she’ll be flawed, she’ll fail, she’ll die (and I agree, definitely not in childbirth, which is a dreadful ending for her, she deserves much better).

What did I think of J*nerys before Jonsa/Season 7? 

Hmmm, let’s just say nothing good lol. I started to take issue with Dany around season 5 and I also had finished reading the books around the same time so I expected the ship to sail in some form. It was the obvious ship, too obvious in my opinion. It seemed like the dreadful, predictable male hero + female hero ship that I expected from a lesser series. So I expected it, but my hope was that the likely Chekhov’s gun of all these sycophantic men surrounding her that want to serve and love her (which is terrible, tedious storytelling unless there’s a twist) would go off, and that it would be a Jon-shaped pistol hanging on the wall.

When season 6 happened I was blindsided. I never, ever expected to be here now loudly shipping Jon with his “sister” Sansa (bear in mind I shipped nothing in this show really, but was aware of Brienne and Jaime being a slow burn, it’s hard to miss). I obviously had a clue they could reunite because season 5 had Sansa escaping Ramsay and she knows where Jon is. But when they reunited I assumed it would be platonic and it just didn’t have the sister brother platonic vibe it should have had. Suddenly Jonsa was doing all these tropes and by episode 10 of season 6 I’d jumped on board as a fully fledged jonsa shipper, and then down the theory/book/show evidence rabbit hole I went for another 2.5 years (jesus fjfdjfhkdjf). So by the time season 7 came around I was convinced of another endgame that wasn’t J*nerys.

On the topic of season 7, I totally agree with you regarding Political Jon, and my hope is obviously that it’s true, but if it isn’t, well, I will be very frustrated with Jon (because I love that dumbass). Fortunately there’s a lot pointing towards it so I’m hopeful. If he’s legitimately in love then it’s just a truly awful love story and an insult to “the north remembers” narrative (and to Jon’s character). 

As you said, it seems like it is very intentional on the part of the show runners that all of these things are happening at once. They’re not mutually exclusive theories, but they are incredibly complimentary. You have to believe that a lot of people are crazy to be able to rule this “theory dissent” out, and I just don’t believe we are as “delusional” as we’re accused of being.

So, in summary, I never expected a) dark!dany or b) jonsa, but much analysis later I’m convinced of both, there’s just too much evidence for these theories for me not to expect them in some form. Maybe me and everyone else here will look like clowns in a few weeks, but I’m quietly optimistic. And absolutely nothing in the promo season has convinced me otherwise, only 22 days to go!

[interportant]

I Bet You Never Heard This One In School

(Image is from a map of the year 1754)

The vast empire of Tartary is a country that appears on ancient maps.

It had worldwide influence and once covered North and South America, Australia, New Zealand most of Russia, China, Europe, Japan, India and Korea. For the most part the citizens of this country were led by their own guidance of natural law honoring truth and integrity. They enjoyed a high standard of living and dwelt in harmony with nature. They built amazing edifices all over the world. The wonderous cathedrals of Europe and the enormous aqueducts in southern Europe and in Mexico. The Grand Canal in China and the Erie Canal in America. The fabulous outside arenas around the Mediterranean Sea. The Coliseum in Rome and the magnificent temples in St. Petersburg Russia. They lived in luxuriant villas. They made ziggurats, star forts, dolmens and earthen mounds all of which utilized Etheric natural energy. They created exquisite statues and crafted golden ornaments. They built the Great Wall in what is now China. Marco Polo wrote an extensive and detailed account of Asia in the 13th and 14th centuries and did not even mention a wall. The Great Wall is not seen on any maps pre-dating the late 1600’s. So most of it’s construction occurred in 1700’s and it was built to keep the encroaching Chinese out of Tartaria. The openings on the wall are on the north side towards the former Tartary not on the south China facing side. It should be called the Great Wall of Tartaria. The further back in time you go the more advanced it gets. There are many pyramids of different kinds. Megalithic temples hewn out of solid rock. The Ellora Caves in India. The colossal underground monolithic churches of Lalibela Ethiopia. Extensive underground tunnel systems. The astonishing Serapeum of Saqqara in Egypt. The earlier the monolithic stone the bigger it is and the more precision it is cut with. The earlier the structure the more incapable we are of replicating it. Never was mortar used. In past ages the world was more diverse. Skeletons of giants are found on all continents. And remains of beings with elongated skulls. Graveyards of little people and horned human like entities have been unearthed. Now it is as if these beings have never existed. Like the Tartarians they are never mentioned. We live in a virtual reality where true history is ignored and covered up. A totally false narrative is taught. Fantasies have replaced truth and everything is pushed way back to the remote past. Older advanced structures are credited to local people who came later who have no idea how to build them. Deception has been utilized to push history back a thousand years and create an artificial dark age. The time of Jesus was less than 1000 years ago. In the Middle Ages the i and J before numbers designated Jesus. Not the number one. For example i346 is 346 years after the time of Jesus. It is not 1346. Way back in the Old Testament at the time immediately following the Exodus it states that the Israelites used the Arc of the Covenant as a weapon of war. Against the Amorites, Midianites and Philistines. So the use of energy weapons has been going on for over a thousand years. It was perfected to the point where it was able to take out many millions of Tartarians. The energy weapons melted cities and destroyed the civilizations of Egypt, Greece and Rome which were approximately of the same time period as Jesus and were heavily influenced by Tartaria. Not only are they pushed way back into remote history, the extent of their empires have been fabricated. Destroying the pyramid complex was the first objective of the Israelites. Puma Punku which is part of the Tiahuanacu complex in Bolivia had interlocking megaliths of andesite and diorite. These are types of granite only surpassed in hardness by diamonds but they were somehow carved with laser like flatness. Now they are broken and shattered and blown to bits. Tiahuanaco and Puma Punku is said to have been built by a simple local migrating tribe. This idea is used all over the world to dismiss and cover-up the ancient advanced cultures. Energy weaponized from the Arc of the Covenant is what brought down the Walls of Jericho. The Arc was an electrical capacitor composed of silver and brass alloys and gilded with gold. It’s true purpose was to store and direct energy from the Earth to outside sources. But transporting it around was very dangerous and it caused people to become sick and die. It had a constant radiation but it also sent out intermittent electrical surges where many people were killed instantly. The ones who carried it had to wear protective clothing. The electrical capacity of such an apparatus would be over 500 volts. Opposing armies would be defenseless against such a weapon. The volume or cubic capacity of the empty coffer inside the Kings Chamber in the Great Pyramid of Giza is exactly the same volume as the Arc of the Covenant. According to Egyptian tradition the Israelites plundered Egypt during the upheaval at the time of the Exodus. They took the Arc out of the so called Kings Chamber in the Great Pyramid of Giza at this time. The tribe of Israel also used religion as a means to get their foot in the door in the ruling affairs of foreign countries. A religious leader holds great power able to influence many simple minds who believe the leader’s edicts are from God. The Druids who held such sway in England were Jewish. So were the Jesuits. So have been all the Popes and the Mormon leaders. The reason why Jewish people look down upon Christians is because they know they invented the Christian religion. Jewish beliefs are just a rendition of the former appearances and interactions of planetary Gods. Books written in Tartary were rewritten and sold as Jewish history. Much of the content was fabricated and interfused with traditional local beliefs. This is how they sold their religion. They used Monks to write what they wanted making them think they were doing God’s work. The burning of old books and the rewriting of them in order to change history is the real Reformation. The Library of Alexandria in Egypt was purposely destroyed to limit knowledge. Making deals with kings was a way they were able to get control of a country’s financial system. Once one controls the money supply and its allotments then they control the country. In this way righteous kings were replaced by insurgent kings who defrauded the people to take part in unjust wars. Just fake an event such as a murder, blame it on another country, add some patriotic and religious slogans, demonize the other country and you have created a war. In the Middle Ages the spraying of viruses not only eliminated entire villages it caused the Black Plague which killed off over 70 million people in Europe. Disease was a favorite weapon used against the Tartarian kingdom. In 1346 at the Siege of Kaffa in the Ukraine the Tartarians suffered an epidemic of plague brought on by the catapulting of viruses into the city. Fire was used to burn crops and create famine. The 1490’s saw the first signs of collapse of the Tartary Empire. In 1666 the city of London was intentionally burned. Tartaria was severely weakened in 1775. But it remained until the early 1800’s. When Napoleon attacked Russia, Moscow was hit by an energy weapon. So was Washington DC in the War of 1812. These wars were actually wars against Tartarians. The first two world wars were to wipe out remaining Tartarian influences. Genghis Khan was said to be a Mogul. Mogul is just a made-up name which is then associated with Mongolia. Genghis Khan fought to restore the kingdom of Tartary and reclaim their land. His mounted warriors were called Tartars. Now Tartary is associated with hell. Many buildings in America demolished or still standing, said to be built by early pioneers or native people in America were in fact built by the Tartars. Disease was also used against the native people in the Americas. It is estimated that 95% of them perished from disease. Mostly smallpox. The Aztecs looked upon the Spaniards as the returning of their light colored god. Their beliefs harkened back to the events in the ancient sky when a light colored god came down from the heavens to save them. But these light colored people came to kill them. The Old World Order was replaced by the New World Order. And the Gregorian Calendar was instituted. To force the common people to accept a new false chronology. Peace and freedom was been replaced by being fenced up in strict borders. The suppression of Tartary coincides with the new teaching of evolution. We just think we are evolving. We have become disconnected with nature and disconnected with reality. It was not always like that. The farther back in time you go the more connected and at peace we were. With ourselves, with the animals and with the land we lived on.

We were fluttering longing creatures a thousand thousand years before the sea and the wind gave us words. How can we express the ancient of days in us with only the sounds of our yesterdays?

Source: https://bennettleeross.com/history/the-lost-empire-of-tartary-the-arc-of-the-covenant-and-the-new-world-order/

More reading: https://www.stolenhistory.org/forums/tartary-a-k-a-tartaria.69/

Also plenty of vids from independent researchers on YT

[avengersnumberonetrash]

Talk to Me

You don't have to be a hero to save the world

It doesn't make you a narcissist to love yourself

It feels like nothing is easy it'll never be

That's alright, let it out, talk to me

Tony let out a shaky breath as he slumped against his workbench. He could try his hardest to do good, to be good, but nothing would ever erase his past of destruction and death. He could never forget it, either, the news certainly would never let him forget. He was tired of being crucified for everything. The things he did do and the things he didn’t do, it was always his fault. Today he wasn’t fast enough, an innocent life was lost. Another family, torn apart because he wasn’t good enough. Cap had told him to evacuate the building sooner, but Clint needed evac off the roof of the same building that was half collapsed already and going down faster than he could run. Tony, of course, caught him and dropped him off on the ground safely. He looped back around to get the rest of the civilians out of the top floor. He got all but one. And the headlines read “Ironman left man for dead” and “Tony Stark heartless in the face of destruction”. Instead of going to medical to get his ribs tapped and head checked out, he went straight to the lab to watch the news. It didn’t matter that he saved over 15 people from the building or that he blasted that weeks monster in the face or stayed as long as he could to help pick up the pieces or that he’s giving thousands of dollars towards rebuilding the city and individual funds for people who lost their property or loved ones. Someone was dead because of him.

“Jarvis, find out who it was that was lost in the building and make sure all funeral expenses are covered.”

“Of course, sir.”

The lab doors slid open silently. Tony was aware that someone came in and sat next to him, he just didn’t bother looking at who it was.

“You should go to medical, solnyshko.” Bucky, of course.

“I should have saved him.” Bucky didn’t say anything else, just held him until his voice was raw from screaming and sobbing.

You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique

You don't have to know what to say or what to think

You don't have to be anybody you can never be

That's alright, let it out, talk to me

Tony stumbled, slightly, into the communal kitchen clutching his favorite Star Wars mug after 48 straight hours spent in the lab upgrading the teams equipment and getting back-logged work for SI done. He was the equivalent of a zombie at this point. Eyes blurring slightly, shaky legs and the pounding headache that usually accompany these binges. He went right to the coffee pot to pour himself some sweet, sweet caffeine.

“Stark, are you finished with those stun arrows yet?” Clint dropped down from the top of the fridge effectively scaring Tony so bad that the boiling hot coffee sloshed over his hand.

“Jesus! Clint you’re going to kill me one of these days.” Tony hissed as he wiped his burnt hand on his shirt.

Clint shrugged. “Arrows?” Tony shook his head, he still hasn’t managed to get the voltage correct.

“I thought you were some super genius and you can’t figure out these arrows?”

Did Tony say that out loud? Maybe he isn’t as recovered from that concussion as he thought if he’s speaking without realizing it. He also might need sleep soon. Clint snorted.

“I don’t think you can blame a concussion for you not thinking before you speak. That’s just a Stark thing, no filter.” Tony, for once, had nothing to say. So he just blinked at Clint and then put his mug in the sink. He’ll get coffee somewhere else. He turned to flee the kitchen with a heavy feeling in his chest. But before he could step out completely he stopped and said:

“Don’t worry, Birdbrain, I’ll get your arrows finished.”

He stepped back into the elevator to go back down to the lab.

“Sir, I would recommend that you sleep for at least 10 hours, not go back to the lab.”

“You heard Legolas, arrows, J. To the lab.” Jarvis didn’t respond other than to start the elevator down. Tony let out a sigh, in reality nothing sounded better than face planting into his bed. Who needs sleep when your team needs gear to keep them safe? Not Tony, that's for sure. Howard Stark only cared about himself, a bottle of scotch, and Captain America. Tony cares about a hell of a lot more than that and he'll be damned if he’ll let sleep drag him down. He stood up a little straighter and rolled his shoulders. He could do this, arrows and then sleep. Tony stepped back into the lab and got to work.

Turns out, he cannot do this. He has been shocked and burnt more times in the last hour than he has in the last month alone. With a frustrated growl he swiped the contents off the desk onto the floor. Taking in the state of his red and raw hands, he clenched them into fists. The pain made him focus, clearing the haziness in his mind. He jumped violently when hands connected with his shoulders.

“Shh. I think it’s time you get up to bed.” Tony’s anxiety lessened upon hearing Bucky’s voice and almost completely vanished when he started to rub circles into the hard knots within Tony’s shoulders. He didn’t register that they were walking out of the lab until the doors opened. Tony jerked out of Bucky’s hold.

“Sorry, Bucko, I have work to do.” Tony gave him a forced smile and he couldn’t quite name the emotion that came over Bucky’s face. Almost disappointment, but sadder. That’s okay, Tony knew he was a disappointment.

“Tony, you’ve been up almost 40 hours straight. You need sleep, not to mention medical attention.”

Tony couldn’t meet his gaze, instead looking at the mess in his lab. The blueprints for Clint’s arrows and their failed prototypes littered on the floor.

“Clint needs arrows.” It was said without any malice, just defeat. This shouldn’t be so hard, he was a genius for fucks sake.

“Tony,” Bucky waited until the inventor looked at him, “it’s hard because you need sleep and food. Clint’s arrows can wait until you’ve slept, gotten food, and your hands looked at. And if he says anything about it, I’ll kick his ass. C’mon, solnyshko, let me take care of you.”

Anxiety tossing turning in your sleep

Even if you run away you still see them in your dreams

It's so dark tonight but you'll survive certainly

It's alright, come inside, and talk to me

Tony slept for exactly four hours and 17 minutes. He woke up with a scream dying on his lips and sweat soaking through his shirt. Apparently, even sleep deprived, his mind was still a cruel bastard. His shirt felt like a wet noose slowly making its way up to his neck. He could feel his ridiculously soft sheets beneath him, but his mind was screaming that he was on rocky and hard ground. Tony tumbled out of the bed onto the floor while gasping for breath. He couldn’t hear Jarvis telling him where he was, what time it was or the weather outside. All he could hear were bombs going off and his harsh breathing. Tony clawed off his shirt, not registering that his hands were wrapped and he tapped the arc reactor rapidly as the walls of his room closed in on him.

We can talk here on the floor

On the phone, if you prefer

I'll be here until you're okay

Jarvis must’ve alerted Bucky to Tony’s panic attack because he was suddenly there grabbing his hands gently.

“Tony, hey, it’s alright. Can you try to match my breathing? In and out.” Bucky placed both of Tony’s hands on his chest, exaggerating his breathing in an attempt to calm Tony’s own rapid breathing. It took awhile, but eventually Tony sagged and calmed down. Bucky moved so he could pull Tony into his lap.

“Please don’t leave.”

“Not unless you want me to, doll.”  

Let your words release your pain

You and I will share the weight

Growing stronger day by day

“I’m sorry.” Bucky lowered the book he was reading to peer up at Tony.

“What?”

“I’m sorry.” Tony repeated with a little exasperation leaking into his voice.

“Okay, I’ll bite. What for, solnyshko?” Tony started tapping the arc reactor casing gently.

“Being a mess.” Bucky arched an eyebrow and reached forward to snag one of Tony’s wrists to pull him down into his lap.

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, doll, but you’re talking to a man who's had his brains scrambled for the last 70 years.” Tony huffed and looked away.

“But you handle it so well.” Bucky snorted

“I don’t, not really. Sometimes I wake up still feeling like the Asset.”

“Sometimes I wake up feeling like I’m still hooked up to a car battery.” Tony leaned on Bucky’s chest and Bucky held him closer.

“Looks like we both have burdens to bare. Not alone, though. Not anymore.”

It's so dark outside tonight

Build a fire warm and bright

And the wind it howls and bites

Bite it back with all your might

Bucky found Tony on the roof. It was the dead of night and slightly chilly and why on earth was Tony even out here?

“I hate it, you know?” Tony’s voice made Bucky’s steps falter. After a moment's hesitation Bucky walked the distance to Tony and sat down next to the man who hadn’t looked at him once.

“I hate that I can never take back all of the things I did. I was an awful person, still might be an awful person. But I try, yeah? I give pieces of myself away in hopes that that will rectify the things I’ve done. But I’ve realized that don’t have anything left, nothing good enough anyways, and I’m just so damn tired.” Bucky took a moment to look at Tony, not that he hadn’t already committed this man to his memory, but he did see how tired he was. Dark circles under his eyes, slumped shoulders, glazed far off stare, and he was so pale. When Bucky spoke he made sure his voice was soft, but firm.

“You’ll never run out of pieces, your body will give them back to you without your consent to keep on giving. Other people will throw them at you, damaged and unclean and then it will be your job to fix them up to give them away again.” Tony’s eyes finally drifted to look at Bucky. “Sometimes, you'll pick up the fallen and forgotten pieces of yourself and place them next to your heart to never forget who and what they were given to and you will never give those pieces away again. There is no such thing as giving away too many pieces of yourself, you’ll still have them, they may be broken and dirty and old but they are still yours and they are still good enough.” Tony’s tears were silent as he nodded.

“You sound so sure.” Bucky looked away, a sad smile dancing on his lips.

“Yeah, I’m still picking up and polishing off my own pieces.” Tony’s hand moved to rest on top of his and they sat in silence.

Anxiety tossing turning in your sleep

Even if you run away you still see them in your dreams

It's so dark tonight

It looks nice, fall asleep

It's alright, come inside, and talk to me

“Tony, come to bed, doll.”

And for once, Tony didn’t worry about any nightmares plaguing him in his sleep. He didn’t worry about all the work he still had to do. He didn’t have to worry about his demons clawing their way up from his personal hell when Bucky was there to help him keep them at bay. Tony shut down his work and got up to follow the love of his life to bed.