#military fart stories

[militarymenfarting]

Thank you for your service and sacrifice, let me serve you and your hot ass and farts

[militaryfartstories]

Army Aroma

They were on a mission on enemy soil. Jeremy accidentally fucked up the tank and soon, he and Seth were stranded in the desert heat completely visible to any enemy awaiting to attack."Fuck you dumbass! You don't know how to drive a tank?!" Seth scolded. "I... I'm sorry... I was dozing off... I shouldn't have gotten us stuck." Jeremy apologized. "You wanna be forgiven?! Get your face in my ass... all we need is for all this gas I'm holding in to spread into the desert and alert the others that we're out here... fuck... you probably just got us killed." Seth propped his legs on the dashboard and spread his legs. Jeremy took a deep breath as he pressed his face right up against Seth's crotch. "It stinks down there don't it? "Seth whispered. "Yes it does" Jeremy inhaled and sniffed to his hearts content. BBBRRRMMPPH!"Haha, fuckin hell, sniff THAT up." Seth reached down to press his partner's face tighter against his ass. Jeremy's eyes began to water as the gas burned his throat and lungs. He had never smelled gas so foul in his life. "Ugh! What did you eat?!" Jeremy whined. "None of your fucking business...I said sniff." Seth was going to blast Jeremy's face with farts until Jeremy passed out. FFFBBBBBRT! "How much gas do you have?" Jeremy coughed. "Quiet... they'll hear you... in fact I should probably make these quieter..."Seth tensed up and the air rushed silently out of his ass and into Jeremy's nose. "Fuck Seth... you smell like you fucking shit your pants." Jeremy cried into Seth's crotch. BBRRMBT! "I probably could... I probably did... this fucking desert heat is tearing my stomach the fuck up..." Seth was rather distant. He had no reason for conversation. The only thing Jeremy was going to do was keep his face between Seth's legs, and pray that the next fart would knock him out cold for a while. Minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into days. Seth had yet to run out of gas. Jeremy was still pressed tightly against Seth's crotch and his tears welling in his eyes from the rancid stench that he was absorbing into Seth's crotch, only making his farts smell worse. BBBRRRRPPPPPPMMMMMMPPHHH!!!"Oh god! Please Seth! It stinks so bad!" Jeremy whimpered between Seth's legs. "Just sniff it bro. Smell my fucking wrath. Oh wait, hold on, oh oh OH!,” with Seth scrunching his face, Seth squeezed his thighs together, trapping Jeremy's head into his crotch and squeezing as tight as possible. The next fart absolutely destroyed Jeremy, and relieved Seth. BBBBRRRRRRRBBBBBMMMPPPHHRT! "OH yeah..." Seth felt so much relief after that blast. Jeremy's cock had started oozing cum. His face continually blasted by more stinky gas from Seth, he passed out in the heat of the desert, hoping they'd be rescued soon. Jeremy awoke in a hospital bed on the other end of the battlefield. He was being treated for dehydration. Seth was sitting right next to him. When Seth saw Jeremy had awoke... he stood up, and walked towards his comrade."Well well well, if it isn't the fart boy..." Seth stared blankly. "What... what do you want?! How can I settle this?!" Jeremy was scared. Seth hopped up onto Jeremy's bed and sat right on his cock, and ripped one. FFFFRRRRBBBBBBRRRMMMMPH!!! Jeremy's eyes rolled to the back of his head as in seconds, Seth's latest fart made him cum his pants again. Seth smirked from Jeremy's reaction. "Dehydration. I'd like to think my hot steamy gas dried you the fuck out. Don't worry... I got more in the tank. Plenty more. An infinite supply."More... farts?!" Jeremy shook a bit. FFFRRRPPPPFFFF! "Oh yeah... and since your fucking cock tents up every time I bust ass, that just proves what a fucking fart face you really are... and unless you want me to tell the boys, you best get that sniffer of yours ready whenever I gotta fart to fucking blast... got it, boy?" Jeremy looked into Seth's eyes and nodded... it was going to be a pretty smelly eight more months.

[ccrites]

Signal Lost

I've had something happen to me that's so incredible and that I could have never hoped, something so touching and so unbelievable that it made me rethink a whole lot of stuff: a wonderful reader on Ao3 started reading my long-form fic (101k words!!!) and commented basically every chapter after a certain point. And wow, I would have never thought something like this might happen.

And yeah, it is my first fic with plot in it, yeah I will never believe it to be perfect, but it's good enough. And receiving all those emails from Ao3 really was the highlight of my days over the course of which I saw said reader slowly go through all my favorite parts!

And so I wish to give it some spotlight here, while I'm finishing up my school year and work and whatever! I will post this here for now, but I will drop chapters every few days and make a Masterlist for it this weekend. (nvm I don't have the energy to do this any time soon lmao) I have too many loose ideas in my head so this is just to pass the time till the brain worms wiggle all in the same direction

So without further ado:

Link to AO3 here : Signal Lost - a John Price x reader fic

----- here's a blurb to pique your interest!

“I don’t think I’ve ever received a document as classified as this one. What am I supposed to do with it, Kate?” he says, dragging his thumb across the pile of papers, each file filled with more ink than the last.

“You asked for proof, there’s your proof,” Laswell says.

“You said you’ll bring someone competent, and who can help us, this doesn’t tell me shit.” He stares blankly at the screen, tired. She stares back.

“The Captain specifically asked to keep this under wraps.”

He rubs at his face, scratching at his beard. It’s getting long again.

“Who is he, anyway?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

He groans again, picking up the file on top. No photo, no name, no age, no height, weight, no nothing . And he thought Simon was secretive.

“What can you tell me?”

“It’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to him. Did things a particular way.”

He shifts through the papers. “And the discharge?”

“Left after the entire team got wiped out. Messy stuff.”

“That why he doesn’t show his face?” He bends forward, grabbing the cigar from the ashtray and bringing it to his lips.

“John.” Her voice carries a heavy warning.

“Just sayin’,” he says, biting around the cigar with one side of the mouth. “What kinda captain doesn’t go down with his men?”

“Got enough guilt as is. You’re lucky I convinced them.”

They both remain silent. They know the missions would be a slippery slope. One wrong move and a war is started. He puffs a cloud of smoke.

“Anything else?” John asks.

Kate looks to the side, her face illuminated by another screen. He can see her hesitate, her lips are pursed in a thin line as if she’s debating her options.

“You’ve worked together before.”

His face lights up. “Finally! Who?”

Her face immediately hardens back up. “Can’t tell, John, my hands are tied.” She sighs. “You were still a Lieutenant.”

Years ago then. He mentally catalogs everyone he’s ever worked with, but he knows that at that age, he was throwing himself at every available mission, wanting to make a name for himself. “So an old fart then? How’s that gonna help us?” If the guy was a Captain when he was still a Lieutenant, and he felt himself grow old, he can’t imagine who Laswell is bringing back from the dead.

Laswell’s face distorts, he knows he’s pushing her buttons, but he has to know.

“Not older than you John.”

His eyebrows raise. “Oh?”

---

or

returning to the military to hunt Makarov is hard enough, to do it with your past lover is even harder. a "friends to lovers to enemies to friends and back to lovers" story

---

Tags and other CW: will be posted for each chapter containing warnings for more hardcore stuff (i.e., torture and angst namely), but this is a fanfic, with smut, so if you want all the tags feel free to check the ao3 link bc there are a LOT and I am lazy to retype them all here

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

since that one anon asked what are your fav jongyu and onho moments too????

this is tewwww serious tewwwwww serious....... jongyu have some many silly moments i adore, even if im not hello baby number one fan they're so funny there, like just two dudes in their early 20s being dead beat fathers, i like this hello baby clip, and this one also this one. also every jongyu 151231 fancam like they're silly silly (its funny to me how rv members are there), when jjong called the members ananatachi (you guys) and jinki made his famous word play with under the sea making jjong laugh.

ofc these two behind concert clips, them being two chismosos one two three four five six, when jinki attented jjong con and they sang please dont go together after so long (i ii iii iv v vi ), their winking game on stage, when jinki after the ny countdown blew a kiss to jjong, this clip during everybody stage behind, them playing house + fujo taem, the 👉🏽 thing during ayo, line music express interview ofc, jjong forgetting selene lyrics and jinki sings the verse to help him/ jinki forgetting selene and jjong fake chokes him.

hmmmmmmm 321, this interview where they choose eo as the kindest member, when jinki went to x inspiration and jjong greeted him without mentioning his name bcs 'he feels shy' + in his last ment he was like 'have inspiration (to fans) but no inspiration for that yeongman', and all of their duets (other than please don't go, my faves are tragedy and like a man)

and I love this polaroid so bad.....

onho is so easy. onho piggyback during lucifer, their in your eyes duet (+ 48 hours segment where they talk abt how they care for eo), this silly fancam, when jinki appeared during minho's military discharge (esp the part where minho says to jinki to believe in his unfunny jokes, also their giggling bewitched me), that music bank interview where they successfully connect, ofc the seek 12 fart contest interview, not enough rice when jinki kept failing to jump the rope right and minho screams at him, the shinee ghost story, when during piece of shine minho began to sing blue.

hmmmmmmm lewser jinki in that isac moment (not the one with luna but the one where minho gets 1st place), them dancing to everybody during becho, also jinki going to minho's heartbreak stage, that moment during the press your number showcase lol and them during marie claire behind

OH OH even that mino man onyu man thing they have.

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

Not Like This | Valeria Garza x Fem!Reader

Note: A literal brain fart that I unexpectedly wrote in the afternoon after listening to girl in red today. Angst is seriously the only thing I can produce and feel good about somehow, like what the hell. I should bring this up in therapy next time. I didn't do much research for the fic so lots of stuff is just pulled out of my ass. Get ready for some typical cliché "dying-in-one's-arms" story. Feat. some random google translated Spanish sentences.

Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

Warnings: Non-Canon Story, Character Death, Angst, Unrequited Love, Just Pain, Blood, Ghost made an oopsie

Summary: You wanted to touch and kiss her but not like this...

Word Count: 2,6k

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

"You don't have to do this!"

You practically beg but she just looks at you with that gaze, the one which says that she won't change her mind, no matter what.

She had held the same gaze when she informed you about her decision to take over the cartel and abandon your brothers and sisters in arms.

She is already in too deep at this point. You both know.

You had known for years since the moment when she took Pascale's hand and danced with him in that god-forsaken club.

He enticed her with an idea and she created El Sin Nombre. And it's all your fault. When you dumped that barrel with the son of La Araña in the river, you thought you had done the right thing and you turned your back on Alejandro and the others.

You watch her, her face is full of determination; it's almost like she's looking through you instead of at you, too captivated by her thoughts.

"It's for us. That deal will make sure our families and the ones after us won't ever grow up and live like we did."

"It wasn't that bad! And compared to how many people will suffer because of that man-"

"Not that bad? Y/N, we drank rainwater while my dead mother rotted in the bedroom! I had to stop Feliz from eating her! Your legs are like this because we didn't have access to proper medical care even in the military! We both suffered so much... But like this... With the authority I have now, these days are nothing but a bad dream! We have established schools and hospitals, and with this money, we'll help even more people!"

Your heart stings when she mentions your disability and the hand grasping your cane burns. She's right. You had suffered. But that was in the past. And compared to the suffering that this terrorist and his organization would bring upon the world...

You couldn't even look the people on the streets of Las Almas in the eyes anymore, how could you bear the weight of responsibility for the horrible crimes of that man?

Maybe you shouldn't have taken her hand when you were discharged from the military due to your increasing leg pain and weeks later she had shown up in front of your doorstep to take you into the hands of the cartel.

"He and those missiles will kill people, dozens of them! Innocent families, brothers, and sisters, little girls like Emilia... Valeria, please- Don't do this. The people hunting him will hunt you too. The Los Vaqueros, Alejandro-"

"We already made the deal. There are no takebacks, Y/N." There's no escape.

You stare at her. The ache in your chest that has been buried deep for years now, grows stronger.

You almost don't recognize her.

She's not the girl who took your first kiss at the age of 7. She's not the best friend you had since childhood. Not the teenager who made out with you when she was drunk at 17 and then didn't remember. Not the one who motivated you to follow your dream of joining the high school basketball team. Not the one who mesmerized you with her naturally glowing character who drew you in like a moth to a flame.

And yet...

You still love her.

And what could you do? You're already in too deep.

Years ago you decided to follow her until your feet couldn't carry you anymore.

You're a fool for her and if she decides to walk straight into hell, even then you will follow her.

You smile bitterly. She takes a step forward and grabs your right hand, her eyes staring straight into yours. Your heart flutters as always. The bitterness in your heart grows.

"You're my best friend Y/N, mi hermana. You know I'm doing this for us. Para tiempos más brillantes."

She doesn't see the tears threatening to fall from your eyes when she embraces you and you quietly sob into her arms. She holds you close and yet you've never felt farther away from her.

"para tiempos más brillantes" you whisper in her shoulder and for you these words are like a prayer, begging God or whoever to forgive you for your foolish heart and your foolish love.

-

A few days later you arrive in a black SUV for the cartel meeting.

The atmosphere in the house is already strange when you enter with Valeria. Diego greets you with a kiss on the back of your hand like always and once again you discreetly wipe your hand on your dress.

You hate participating in those meetings but to the cartel you're like a symbol, a symbol for the wealth and power that one can gain with the help of the cartel. So it's expected that you attend. And she likes it when you're with her.

You feel like a doll in that expensive dress Valeria gifted you. It's a light blue backless dress and compliments your shape.

She gave you this one with her typical words about wanting to make you feel good about yourself but you neither feel pretty nor good; the slit on the side shows off the scars on your leg and with your cane you give the image of a circus actor instead of a rich woman.

"You can rest upstairs", Valeria tells you and pats your shoulder and one of Diego's underlings wearing a black mask steps forward to accompany you.

"I'll see you in a bit."

"Yeah", you mumble and follow the guy. He tries to be discreet but you notice him looking at your feet right away and you huff inwardly. Yeah, she couldn't gift me expensive high heels unfortunately.

You're wearing flats because anything with heels hurt not only your feet but your legs as well.

On the highest floor you pour yourself a drink and sit on one of the chairs at the long round table.

You stare at the ice cubes in your class and watch as they slowly melt. Time ticks by and Valeria is nowhere to be seen.

It's pathetic how you wait for her like a puppy. But it's always been like this. She goes somewhere, you follow. When she's away, you wait for her, the only company your anxiety and worries.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door.

The atmosphere has been weird before but when the guard tells you in a breathless voice that he will be right back, you know something is definitely off.

You're not on the comms and you don't have a weapon, you never bring one to these events because it "ruins your outfits".

But you don't have to worry much because right when you think about grabbing a kitchen knife just in case, Valeria and her lackeys storm through the door.

She's armed - unlike when you two entered the house. You immediately know something went wrong.

"Y/N", she says, her tone cold and you stand up quickly, "go on the terrace for a bit."

You blink perplexed. "What? Why?"

She gives you a look as she grabs the phone one of her men holds up for her.

"Solo hazlo!"

You continue to stare for a few seconds, but she turns away, not looking at you.

"Yes, El Sin Nombre" you sigh eventually. A guard offers you a gun and you take it silently.

You walk to the back of the room and leave through the door, the gazes of Valeria's guards burn on your naked back.

You sit on one of the loungers, letting your cane and gun rest by your side and you stare at the darkening sky. You know who she's calling in there and the guilt plagues your mind.

How did you two end up like this? This isn't the future you imagined for yourself.

Yes, you wanted to be by her side but not like this.

The 16-year old Y/N L/N didn't see herself as the closest confidant of a drug cartel boss. Your younger self didn't see herself involved with corruption and the distribution of narcotics. You didn't see yourself lying next to her, back to back, in a bed with a pistol under the pillow.

In your ideal future you would lay in her arms in a cozy bed in a house with room for you two and your family, her sister Emilia, your grandparents, maybe even a dog like Feliz. Just you, the love of your life and your family.

No guns, no drugs, just a happy life, satisfied with what you have.

But you know better. That dream will never come true. Valeria loves you, always has, but not like you love her. You'll never be more than her best friend.

And even if she saw you in a different light, your dream can never come true. The things you both have done in your past will haunt you.

You know it's only a matter of time until the USA will hunt you and the other drug cartels down. They'll purge everything they can get a sniff of. And then El Sin Nombre will pay the price. But you'll be right beside her.

"At least we can be together in prison", you say to no one in particular, a bitter smile on your lips.

You stroke the frayed strap of the bracelet Valeria had gifted you all those years ago in high school. Memories come up but they're interrupted by a low hum. Confused you turn your head, searching the sky when a loud bang and sudden gunshots ring out in the house.

In the blink of an eye you're on your feet, gun in hand with the safety off, your cane disregarded.

You hurry to the door right when it gets slammed open and Valeria runs into you. Shocked you lower your hands, mierda you almost shot her!

"Y/N!", she shouts, grabbing you by your arm. "We have to move!"

She pulls you with her but the low hum has turned into growling and the roar of spinning rotors accompanies the black helicopter who suddenly hovers over the house. You're trapped.

"Down! Get down, now!", someone in the helicopter shouts and god, you're so stupid but she's in danger and without a second thought you shoot at the man standing at the open in the helicopter, while trying to cover her with your body.

"Y/N!"

A lot happens in mere seconds. The man at the helicopter door ducks inside, the other soldiers scream and point their guns at you and you shoot once more when someone shoves you and the force sends you to your knees.

"Cease Fire, Immediately!!"

Shouts echo around you, two more men run on the terrace, rifle and gun pointing at you but you don't care.

You turn and stare at her and she looks you in the eyes. The brown is basically black in the dusk. The corners of her lips twitch as if she wants to smile. You notice the rapidly growing spot on her grey shirt, underneath her necklace on the left side.

You scream and she hugs you, forcing her whole body weight on you. You crumble completely to the ground, holding her close, one hand still clutching the gun.

"Target is hit- I repeat target is hit! Ghost what the fu-"

"Don't shoot! I know that woman!"

Y/N she whispers. She's not moving her lips but you know she called you. You stare into her eyes as she gasps for air.

"Ria, I got you- It's okay- I got you, I-"

You drop the gun and press onto the wound from the back. Your hands turn slippery from her blood.

One of the men walks up to you and kicks your gun away from your reach and as he hovered over you, you pull her closer, shielding her with your upper body.

No, no. This can't be happening!

Your heart beat resounds loudly in your ears, it drowns out the helicopter noise and the shouting soldiers. You feel naseous from the surging helplessness you feel. Until you hear a certain voice. It's familiar.

"Y/N, hey! It's me, Alejandro. Let me have a look at her, please."

Alejandro?

You lift your head, still holding eye contact with her. Her eyes are wide, shocked probably at the sudden development. You gulp but bile still rises in your throat.

Hands grab you, but they're not forceful and you straighten your upper body to give Alejandro the chance to look at her in your arms. You look at him, begging him to do something, to help- save her.

"...dro", she wheezes and he smiles but his raised eyebrows give his worry away.

"Valeria."

He reaches for her back where you hold her and when his hand finds yours, his face darkens. He stands up and turns towards the helicopter and waves at the blonde man inside, his red hand glistening.

"We need a medic now!"

The sentence flings you into the past.

"Necesito evacuación médica para Y/N!! Gómez, hijo de puta, call it in now!!"

Gunshots whizz past you two but Valeria doesn't care.

She puts more pressure on your legs and you just watch how her expression stirs from worry to determination.

You adore that face so much. Her sharp eyebrows, the straight bridge of her nose, her long eyelashes, the lines when she smiles. She's your own personal Aphrodite.

"...s beautiful..."

She looks at you scowling. "Shut up, Y/N! Don't go all woozy on me now! We'll get you out of here and you'll be just fine, okay?!"

You smile. Of course. You'll be just fine. After all, she's by your side.

"..can't do anything for her..."

You blink. The words pull you out of your distant memory. She's holding onto you, you realize belatedly. Her fingers dig into your skin but her grip is weak, too weak.

The two soldiers who got in front of you and checked her body retreat. You open your move to say something but she touches your face to get your attention.

"Y/N..."

She pulls you down, while moving her lips as if she wants to whisper something to you. Your chest painfully constricts.

Instead your lips meet. Someone says something but you don't hear them, too shocked by the sudden kiss.

It's more like a peck and it tastes like the alcohol you drank before but your chest almost explodes.

"D-Don't do that, Ria", you croak. The nickname is like poison on your lips.

She smiles. And kisses you again. Longer this time. You taste salt.

"Not like this- I don't want it like this! I haven't even- me cago en la puta, Valeria Martina Garza, you-"

You cover her hands with yours, smearing her blood on them as you grip her fingers tight, holding on like she's your lifeline. Your foreheads touch. The pain in your chest is tearing you apart. You feel like dying.

"Para tiem...pos más brillantes...", she whispers breathlessly and you sob, showering her face with kisses while cradling her in your arms. She huffs as if she's protesting.

"Don't fucking say that! Yo no puedo vivir sin ti!! I love you, Ria, I-"

The smile is still on her lips when her body goes limp in your arms. Your chest constricts as you breathe in shakily.

Tears fall and you rock her in your arms, holding the only one who ever mattered in your life in your arms and you scream, the pain in your chest never stopping.

How can I wish for better times when you're not with me?!

-

"Y/N L/N, what do you know about El Sin Nombre?"

"Ella era mi alma gemela. I'll tell you everything."

[eclipsecrowned]

30 for truthful tuesday. [looking at you autistically, microphone in hand] // @umbralined

Pupper wishes to get Kadi in trouble. Kadi will gladly get in trouble over this one.

There is a specific breed of mun, often belonging to a certain demographic but it happens regardless of income education race or gender, who think their muse is God's gift to the community. Whether you find them here on tumblr, in the badlands of forums, or among your discord experiences, it is inevitable that you will meet someone who just cannot handle what their muse actually is.

In their own head, usually because they are hella projecting onto the muse, this muse is the best thing since sliced bread. They are a near perfect copy of the mun -- let's use our former friend [REDACTED] as an example.

All her muses were able-bodied middle class east coast American women who came from military families and were proudly straight Americans whose brand of liberalism was just conservatism lite. And because that muse is so much like her -- and pick any of them, Beth, Elaine, Charlotte, even in fantasy she'd just adapt Veerle or Adamaris to be the super special white gurl foreigner -- this muse is perfect.

This muse does no wrong. Everything this muse does is cool, funny, badass. Everything this muse does is right, even in instances where the audience tries to call out obvious racism, homophobia, classism, unchecked mental illness. This is not a critique of the character's behavior/the biased writing, but of the creator herself, because the muse is a funhouse mirror of their player. Fuck you. She's going to write what she wants to write.

Except it stops being about just their muse. Suddenly, it's about you as a collaborator having a muse. Here's the role your muse has been pigeonholed into. Here's the script. Here's how in awe or cruel they are to her blessed muse. Here's what your muse is allowed to be -- remember when she'd veto my muses having disabilities or poc love interests as if that was her call?

It's no longer collaborative. It's the Beth/Elaine/Charlotte/Veerle/Elysande show, and we're just living in it. Our muses are there to talk about how cool she is, how women want to be her, how men want to make babies with her. And if you play a villain, the men obsess over her and the women want to torture her. No one can be objective about the character. Who could be objective about God's most perfect creation?

And it gets worse. The creator, totally unchecked and unable to be held in check moving forward without having an actual IRL mental breakdown, is further assured of her own skill. Her muse is perfect. The war crimes ensue, sometimes metaphorical and in [REDACTED]'s case actually for real in universe. The apologia of 'well if my muse did something bad they did it to someone worse,' except they as grown adults are unable to admit their character is capable of doing any wrong. If you are among other partners doing a plot, they refuse to be on the sidelines of it.

The relationship as collaborators and as friends becomes unsustainable because you are dealing with someone who refuses to be reasoned with, and will forever be the villain when they retell the story because you wanted a shared platform, not to be an accessory to a muse you can no longer stand.

I've been on this site since 2012 and I have seen many such muns high on their own muse's farts. Literally if you give me the most special and important heroic muse without an iota of nuance, whether Canon or OC, I'm checking out. I've seen canon serial killers be idealized as 'good people' due to possessing either the lifestyle their writer has or desires, and canon abusers be excused as 'well I mean, his wife is annoying.' I have seen OCs, many times, hold entire servers and communities hostage to their whims, whether as moderators or as simple members of a group. I can name 6 separate incidents across 12 years, and it always goes nuclear, scorched earth, kills communities and friend groups and servers. I refuse to play.

And again, fiction =/= reality, but the way people handle certain themes or concepts can say a lot about how they'll be as a collaborator --

[mahou-furbies]

Alright here's the results for the 2024 Precure Hopes and Predictions!

Q1: Hopes for the theme of the season?

Technology/games. Or more likely: science?

Military, video games

Technology / Gaming

Computers and/or bugs

Video games/Tech

the arts (both performing and visual)

Seriously hoping for creating things as a theme

Art theme! Or something winter-related (a precure team located in Hokkaido? That would be so cool!)

I would like a season based on a combination of gemstones and popular hobbies like arts, sports, and science. It can have a moral theme of "finding your inner sparkle, your one true talent."

I've always thought that season-based characters (spring, summer, etc.) were really fun, with lots of possibilities as far as power and design go! But it would be harder to have a sixth ranger, and we've just had a 4+1 season, so I'm not too hopeful… I guess I'd like a story around art (like, each of the girl represent a certain form of creativity?) We've had lots of cures who were artist of some kind, but their interests are rarely reflected by their cure powers!

someday i want a 4 seasons precure

Flowers

I hope for flowers theme or elementals but i think it will be idols or fashion

Insects would be fun! (ladybug lead, butterfly and honeybee Cures. Moth midseason!)

Carnival.

Cars and racing, fairy tales (specifically Peter Pan), music and dancing

We never had a proper fairy/fairy tale season, so that!

Fairy

unlikely but aliens would be fun

cats/felines + lolita fashion + fantasy

Pirates

Mythology

Gemstones

Sports

Q2: Predictions for Cure theme colours?

Standard pink/yellow/blue to follow the pattern Hugtto set

please please please don’t go back to pink/blue/yellow

Ideal - Pink/Yellow/Green/Blue or White; Realistic - Pink/Blue/Yellow/Purple

Pink, blue, yellow, purple

Pink, Blue, Yellow, Purple, Red

I want a blue and a pink at first, then green and yellow (maybe also purple) but I am sure it will be pink/blue/yellow again

Pink, Blue, Yellow, Purple maybe, No green lol

Pink, blue, yellow, purple, maybe green?

I'm kind of curious, since Toei got pretty original with the colour scheme this year… My guess is, either they'll go for something super conventional like Healin Good or Delipre, or they're going to keep their "unique color scheme" streak.

Similar to ALaMode it can be the standard trio (PBY), followed by a red and purple duo, and later joins a vibrant green.

pink, blue/teal, purple, black/white/grey would be super cool!

Pink, Orange, Green, Yellow, Blue, Purple

Pink - Blue - Red - White (midseason)

Pink, Red, Purple

Pink, blue, green

Pink, red, white, and purple

White, orange, indigo, green, red, teal

dark pink/red, blue, and gold (later cures would be green, purple, and black/white/grey)

For gaming: the usual letter button colors (red green yellow blue) For science: uhh, def needs a Cure Combust thats red. I imagine her having a combo attack with a blue cure that makes blue fire.

Pink leader (current season was too revolutionary, time for Toei to get back to a safer structure), a yellow/orange, a blue one, a mixed weird color joining mid-season and hopefully a green cure

for aliens green orange pink

Green pleasssse (probably pink for the main Cure)

We've gotta get at least one green cure right?

Two colours for each Cure.

Q3: How many Cures do you expect there to be at the start?

Q4: Any other thoughts?

Hopefully there'll be more than one villain active at the same time, Hirogaru Sky was honestly kind of disappointing in that regard (it does not help that the first villain's debut came with a fart joke).

I'm fine with another pink, yellow and blue Cures, but please, at least try to make them different by using different shades of said colors. There are so many, don't settle for the most basic color palette.

If it doesn't happen, I could always make fancures instead.

I really want a cure who becomes an engineer of some kind in the epilogue. Specifically a girl becoming an engineer

I am sure it will not be what I want XD but precure prove me wrong this year!

I would love unique flower motifs for each cure. All of the possibilities!

Mythology would also be a fun theme, but the Tropical team had a phoenix and so did Cure Wing, so they would probably try to space that out.

The cures' designs would be based on wild cats and domestic cat breeds: maine coon, norwegian forest cats (e.g cure forrêt), serval, jaguar. There would be a cat goddess (who could possibly also be a precure)!

Male Cure, Twins as cures, a disabled cure, a chubby cure, and a cure of color (like Elena)

I think it'd be neat to have the main trio be required to transform together as a call-back to Black/White, Bloom/Egret, Melody/Rhythm, Miracle/Magical, and Macherie/Amour, plus to keep celebrating 20 years of Precure

they will go back to pink/blue/yellow

i want scifiesque magical girls i feel like theres been lots of fairytale themeing recently and i want something very different also the idea of the midseason cure being the pink one amuses me greatly

I want more boy cures

A male lead, preferably voiced by Yuki Kaji

Please, no babies, not another one…

Random list of elements that (I think) haven't been done that much in a precure season: 1) Have cures be siblings/give a significant role to a cure's sibling. 2) Have characters actually be in a romance! I know precure has a young demographic, so romance isn't exactly important, but it's a bit tiresome how many precure romances tend to be unresolved crushes that are dragged throughout the season! I don't care if it's girl/girl, girl/boy or boy/boy, it would just be nice to see characters confess to each other and have their relationship build from there throughout the story. 3) I know there have been debates on relationships between the cures and the villains, how redeemable the villains are, how much the cures should be concerned about them, etc., but I'd like Toei to play on that dynamic more. Maybe a villain questioning their allegiance, or even turning out to be a mole for the good guys! Or on the opposite side, a cure joining the bad guys willingly, whether misguidedly or to become a mole themselves! 4) Fun stuff with the mascots! The mascots are a family! A mascot is a family member of a cure (don't ask me how that works!) Secretely-a-villain mascot! Mascot who is reluctant in their role and a bit cranky! 5) Families and non-magical friends being a relevant part of the cures' life. To be fair, it has been done several times, but it's always nice to see. 6) Boarding school!

Thanks to everyone who took part, reading these was super fun. Let's see if anyone got it right! (though you only get half of a point if the pink-blue-yellow prediction turns out right lol)

[rei-ismyname]

HEIR OF APOCALYPSE #4 - A WET FART TO END A TURD OF A MINI

So... This was a waste of time at best. I'm not going to bother with any literary analysis because I don't feel like putting more thought into it than the author, so I'm just going to dunk on it. Spoilers below the cut.

If you read my previous entries, you'll recall I reasoned that Mr Sinister would be part of the climax. He was in opposition to everyone else in the mini and had more page space than any two other characters put together. A Chekhov's Gunman, if you will. NOPE. Doesn't even appear. Emma asks where he is and Warren says he fucked off. WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT THEN? I didn't want any more of him, but I wanted a story that's internally coherent. He was already a nonsense addition to the cast, and his presence just makes it a mini full of shit jokes and OOC responses to him murdering everyone's friends. He choked everything else out. Readers already have Sinister fatigue from Krakoa, where he was a crucial character - here he's just infuriatingly needless like a child licking all the cupcakes. The child is Steve Foxe, the saliva is Sinister, and the cupcakes are character work and a plot. Would've been nice, but get fucked I guess. Let's check in with the rest of the contestants.

I've read this sequence four times and I still don't know what is happening here. Meant to what, Doug? You can communicate with a fucking rock but can't tell us what's going on? You deserve to get turned into a golden idiot. I take it back, nobody deserves that.

O.....okayyyy. He doesn't pick Cable. This is gibberish. This is the end of Cable's time in the book. Lucky him. I said I wouldn't do any literary analysis but ARGGGHH. This is all information both parties, AND the reader, know. No new context, just taking up page space.

Sup, Forge? You remember how you were going to solve global homelessness and starvation? You'd built this whole system and were excited. You already knew it would work but I'm going to tell you anyway. (Can Apocalypse see the future? Wtf?) Shame it needs Krakoan biotech.

You're just the best. What this world truly needs. Except... You made a bad thing once so you can fuck yourself buddy. Bit rich coming from Apocalypse, no? 'Deserve' is moronic coming from a social Darwinist. He doesn't get picked either. *Pushes glasses up* ACKSHUALLY, he made it to combat Dire Wraiths - it just happened to work on mutants too. Mega dickhead Gyrich couldn't wait to use it and he did. I'd say Forge's sin is actually working for the US military industrial complex where Gyriches can access your shit. Buuuut, that's NOT something Apocalypse can hang on someone else. He's been fomenting war for millennia. Storm is stronger for having lost her powers, so by Apocalypse logic he should be G. God this mini suuuucks.

Alas, Tumblr only allows 10 images per post. Danielle Moonstar will not be featured bc I don't want to explain it then dunk on it. Just trust me when I say it sucks. She doesn't get picked and she's quite fine with that. Maybe Big Blue learnt nothing from his ridiculous Egyptian traps and decided to make one of his four living children heir? Five if you count his clone, Evan, who is just the sweetest kid ever.

I wonder if he's still calling himself Genesis. That'd be funny cos that's Apocalypse's wife's name. We never did see Evan on Krakoa, what's up with that? It would have been the perfect opportunity for what Age of X-Man bungled - interrogating the reason for his existence, destiny, fate, etc. Would he rethink his position on Nature/Nurture upon seeing Apocalypse behave responsibly and selflessly? Many of the other clones had their personhood affirmed - why not he? These are all very good questions that I'll come back to one day, but I'm honestly just trying to build some tension where STEVE didn't. It should be obvious who 'won' using the process of elimination.

Dougie! You're a good kid. Maybe even the best. We know this already. He picks him btw. He picks Douglas Ramsay. Cypher is the Heir of Apocalypse. Does it matter that he survived the Pyramid obstacle course through luck? Or are we meant to assume he 'solved' whatever dumbshit puzzle it was? It's quite clear Big Blue chose who he wanted to and the Tournament somehow helped that process. Doug ends up in Egypt whereas everyone else is on Arakko. Seems like it should be the other way round but whatever. How did Apocalypse get there? The transporter I guess. This really could have been a one shot.

Were you here for more than a panel of Emma Frost, Laura, Rictor (who actually wants to be here and has a relationship with Apocalypse) or Warren? Too bad, fuck you. Were you here for ANY Exodus, Armageddon Girl, Monet, Gorgon, or even Sunfire who teased a way more interesting story in issue 1? Double fuck you. You get nothing. All people I care about more than Sinister and his dumb jokes. May as well have done a Deadpool movie tie in LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING COMIC THIS WEEK. Okay I'm getting distracted - Doug wins the nebulous position of Heir and a ... Transformation. Drumroll please.

Woo! Bei and Warlock sightings! It's nice that they're supportive and they're the first good thing in this book. The second is that Arakko isn't blown up or moved to another dimension or whatever. We might see it again, hopefully in better hands than this kick in the balls. Anyway, let's see what Doug looks like post-transformation and wrap this shit up. Hopefully he doesn't look like an idiot.

HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA. Oh my god he looks ridiculous. His face and body language look like mine the first time I saw him. 'Fucking really, dude? This doesn't feel like a reward.' Gold, short, Apocalypse - That's what Doug looks like now. Big Blue can alter his own body at the molecular level and he chose Mini Me from Austin Powers 2. Ororo grew up in Cairo, maybe she can call his dumb ass out for cultural appropriation? He looks like a Halloween outfit or a bad cosplayer that doesn't know he's white. White boy dreadlocks given human form.

Is he fine with being renamed as well? Revelation is another word for Apocalypse, the greek translation AFAIK. It was mentioned a lot in Immortal X-Men and Excalibur. C-3PO here could tell him that too. It makes zero sense.

I can't see how this is close to a good thing for Doug, sorry, REVELATION. Apocalypse is kinda world famous as a genocidal lunatic. He may have worn a suit to the Davos economic forum and dropped awesome one liners but it's easy to forget that was a setup. They had 20~ dudes with psi-blockers, body armour and assault rifles to kill them. Unless he included some massive physical upgrades and defenses Doug is in great danger. I hope he got to Egypt by other means bc his days of commercial flight are over. Forget flight, going to the shops to buy food will terrify everyone he sees and he'll probably get murked by a SWAT team. Fuck this is dumb.

OUTRO/SLIGHTLY MORE SERIOUSLY

Okay, it's happened, I've accepted it. Heir of Apocalypse was hot garbage and Doug looks like a fool. What now? Doug has inherited the job of 'shepherding mutantkind' with his words. I know Warren is not listening to him lol. Why would anyone else? Big Blue built up *some* goodwill during Krakoa but blew it at the end. Look how many of the contestants showed up to keep an eye on him. Most of them. Nobody trusts this MF and looking like a gold version of him can only hurt his efforts. A good writer can make anything work, but those kind of pitches getting accepted are rare.

Sigh. What seems more likely to me is some dipshit making Doug a villain. I really hope not, because let's face it, Apocalypse's motivations were always nonsensical. He's like the Phoenix - totally iconic but becomes harder to take seriously each time it's used. Hickman and Gillen, respectively, are exceptions to that and part of their success was retconning the idiotic shit that had been overused and then recontextualising the concept from the ground up. One could argue that Doug as Heir of Apocalypse is doing just that, but if that happens that writer has a lot of work to do.

I'd LOVE for him to get his own book examining exactly how one fills that role with Doug's skills, powers, experience, and worldview. Truly, I would, but the Marvel formula is built on punching and Doug doesn't do that. He's just said he's not going to do that. The easy/obvious path to take is to have Doug go craaaazy (ugh) or be changed into Violence Man from whatever Apocalypse did to him, which would be a waste of time. It'd just be Apocalypse 2: The Goldening. Sadly it's probably most likely.

Until then, I guess Revelation is a gold idiot that's probably not appearing in any books. I'd love for him to show up to the bar Anole works at in NYX or something but let's be serious here. This wasn't even good bad, 'twas just an incoherent disappointment.

[militarymenfarting]

They were on a mission on enemy soil. Jeremy accidentally fucked up the tank and soon, he and Seth were stranded in the desert heat completely visible to any enemy awaiting to attack."Fuck you faggot! You don't know how to drive a tank?!" Seth scolded. Jeremy was a bit taken aback by the faggot comment... he never came out as gay to his fellow soldiers. "I... I'm sorry... I was dozing off... I shouldn't have gotten us stuck." Jeremy apologized. "You wanna be forgiven faggot?! Fuck, keep your face in my ass... all we need is for all this gas I'm holding in to spread into the desert and alert the others that we're out here... fuck... you probably just got us killed." Seth propped his legs on the dashboard and spread his legs. Jeremy took a deep breath as he pressed his face right up against Seth's crotch. "It stinks down there don't it? "Seth whispered. "Yes it does" Jeremy inhaled and sniffed to his hearts content. BBBRRRMMPPH!"Haha, fuckin hell, sniff THAT up." Seth reached down to press his partner's face tighter against his ass. Jeremy's eyes began to water as the gas burned his throat and lungs. He had never smelled gas so foul in his life."Ugh! What did you eat?!" Jeremy whined. "None of your fucking business...I said sniff." Seth was going to blast Jeremy's face with farts until Jeremy passed out. FFFBBBBBRT! "How much gas do you have?" Jeremy coughed. "Quiet... they'll hear you... in fact I should probably make these quieter..."Seth tensed up and the air rushed silently out of his ass and into Jeremy's face. "Fuck Seth... you smell like you fucking shit your pants." Jeremy cried into Seth's crotch. BBRRMBT! "I probably could... I probably did... this fucking desert heat is tearing my stomach the fuck up..." Seth was rather distant. He had no reason for conversation. The only thing Jeremy was going to do was keep his face between Seth's legs, and pray that the next fart would knock him out cold for a while. Minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into days. Seth had yet to run out of gas. Jeremy was still pressed tightly against Seth's crotch and his tears welling in his eyes from the rancid stench that he was absorbing into Seth's crotch, only making his farts smell worse. BBBRRRRPPPPPPMMMMMMPPHHH!!!"Oh god! Please Seth! It stinks so bad!" Jeremy whimpered between Seth's legs."Just sniff it faggot. Smell my fucking wrath. Oh wait, hold on, oh oh OH!,” Seth squeezed his thighs together, trapping Jeremy's head into his crotch and squeezing as tight as possible. The next fart absolutely destroyed Jeremy, and relieved Seth. BBBBRRRRRRRBBBBBMMMPPPHHRT! "OH yeah..." Seth felt so much relief after that blast. Jeremy's cock had started oozing cum. His face continually blasted by more stinky gas from Seth, he passed out in the heat of the desert, hoping they'd be rescued soon. Jeremy awoke in a hospital bed on the other end of the battlefield. He was being treated for dehydration. Seth was sitting right next to him. When Seth saw Jeremy had awoke... he stood up, and walked towards his comrade."Well well well, if it isn't the fart boy..." Seth stared blankly. "What... what do you want?! How can I settle this?!" Jeremy was scared. Seth hopped up onto Jeremy's bed and sat right on his cock, and ripped one. FFFFRRRRBBBBBBRRRMMMMPH!!! Jeremy's eyes rolled to the back of his head as in seconds, Seth's latest fart made him cum his pants again. Logan smirked from Jeremy's reaction. "Dehydration. I'd like to think my hot steamy gas dried you the fuck out. Don't worry... I got more in the tank. Plenty more. An infinite supply."More... farts?!" Jeremy shook a bit. FFFRRRPPPPFFFF! "Oh yeah... and since your fucking cock tents up every time I bust ass, that just proves what a fucking fart fag you really are... and unless you want me to tell the boys, you best get that sniffer of yours ready whenever I gotta fart to fucking blast... got it, boy?" Jeremy looked into Seth's eyes and nodded... it was going to be a pretty stinky eight more months.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

This day in history

Next Tuesday (December 5), I'm at Flyleaf Books in Chapel Hill, NC, with my new solarpunk novel The Lost Cause, which 350.org's Bill McKibben called "The first great YIMBY novel: perceptive, scientifically sound, and extraordinarily hopeful."b

#20yrsago What happens when you give gamers intellectual property rights? https://web.archive.org/web/20031205163841/https://research.yale.edu/lawmeme/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1290

#15yrsago Little Nemo in Slumberland, Many More Splendid Sundays — a new gigantic collection of Winsor McCay’s lush and surreal comics https://memex.craphound.com/2008/12/03/little-nemo-in-slumberland-many-more-splendid-sundays-a-new-gigantic-collection-of-winsor-mccays-lush-and-surreal-comics/

#15yrsago What is non-commercial use? Creative Commons survey https://web.archive.org/web/20081210100702/https://creativecommons.org/weblog/entry/11045

#15yrsago Women in science group want a female Doctor Who https://web.archive.org/web/20081204091523/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/3538551/Doctor-Who-should-be-a-woman-say-female-scientists.html

#15yrsago US military interrogator decries torture — worse than useless https://www.democracynow.org/2008/12/3/us_interrogator_in_iraq_says_torture

#10yrsago UN counter-terrorism rapporteur announces investigation into NSA and GCHQ surveillance https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/dec/02/guardian-terrorism-snowden-alan-rusbridger-free-press

#10yrsago Podcasting Lawful Interception, a Little Brother story https://ia800903.us.archive.org/6/items/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_257/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_257_Lawful_interception_01.mp3

#10yrsago Terabyte laptop SSDs for $435! https://memex.craphound.com/2013/12/03/terabyte-laptop-ssds-for-435/

#5yrsago Med students are being paid to act as Instagram “influencers” on behalf of cosmetics and other products https://slate.com/technology/2018/11/medical-students-instagram-influencers-ethics-debate.html

#5yrsago Spiegel claims ties between Germany’s neofascist movement and secretive billionaire https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/billionaire-backing-may-have-helped-launch-afd-a-1241029.html

#5yrsago A seemingly ingenious, simple solution to nonrepresentative government and gerrymandering https://www.forbes.com/sites/stevensalzberg/2018/11/12/the-problem-with-our-democracy-isnt-gerrymandering-its-integers/?sh=5bd7e9f2899c

#5yrsago We don’t know how much Village Roadshow paid to buy Australia’s new censoring copyright law https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/dec/02/village-roadshow-donates-millions-to-major-parties-while-lobbying-on-piracy

#5yrsago The best Christmas computer and electronics ads of 1980 https://paleotronic.com/2018/12/02/paleotronics-12-years-of-christmas-year-one-1980/

#5yrsago An appreciation of the long-lost MP3 player skins of yesteryear https://twitter.com/fart/status/1069312730249650176

#1yrago The urinary tract infection business-model https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/03/painful-burning-dribble/#law-of-intended-consequences

It's EFF's Power Up Your Donation Week: this week, donations to the Electronic Frontier Foundation are matched 1:1, meaning your money goes twice as far. I've worked with EFF for 22 years now and I have always been - and remain - a major donor, because I've seen firsthand how effective, responsible and brilliant this organization is. Please join me in helping EFF continue its work!

[adacatlovelace]

Things I love about the TF2 lore:

The demoman's eye socket is canonically haunted and the scream fortress events aren't one offs but actually canon. Medic has tried to replace his eye but every holloween it leaves his skull to become a monster.

William Shakesphere invented rocket jumping due to two story houses being invented but not stairs

The sniper being from new zealand was subtly hinted at from the start ("Bloody fruitshop owners" was a reference to a new zealand skit show, and the jarate promo image saying "Made in New Zealand"

Scout dies on the same exact day as the Bite of '87

Abraham Lincoln was the original pyro (Along with a bunch of other historical/folklore characters being the original mercs)

Soldier's flanderization from "Insane military buff" to "Insane military buffoon" is due to him contracting lead poisoning from Teufort's water supply

2fort is in Teufort, which was originally named "Hugginsville" after its founder who was mauled to death by bears but then renamed "Two Farts" by a roving gang of schoolyard bullies which was then changed to "Teufort" becuase they were scared of the bullies returning

Spy keeps a full meal of cornish game hen in secret compartments in his teeth

Soldier killed Tom Jones who was then killed again in Heaven

Upon losing their job, The Pyro became CEO of a successful Fortune 500 company despite not being able to understand a word of anything anyone says around them

Eyelander is 100% haunted with a spirit who demands heads but is just sorta bros with Demoman

Saxton Hale invented jarate by kicking over a chair

Saxton's Hale's desk is a massive griddle for cooking steak

Yetis used to exist but they've been hunted to extinction by Saxton Hale

[labbaik-ya-hussain-as]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐫𝐞 - 𝙗𝙮 𝘾𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣 𝙅𝙤𝙝𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙚

When Israeli president Isaac Herzog described the assault on Gaza as a war “to save Western civilization, to save the values of Western civilization,” he wasn’t really lying. He was telling the truth — just maybe not quite in the way that he meant it.

The demolition of Gaza is indeed being perpetrated in defense of western values, and is itself a perfect embodiment of western values. Not the western values they teach you about in school, but the hidden ones they don’t want you to look at. Not the attractive packaging with the advertising slogans on the label, but the product that’s actually inside the box.

For centuries western civilization has depended heavily on war, genocide, theft, colonialism and imperialism, which it has justified using narratives premised on religion, racism and ethnic supremacy — all of which we are seeing play out in the incineration of Gaza today.

What we are seeing in Gaza is a much better representation of what western civilization is really about than all the gibberish about freedom and democracy we learned about in school. A much better representation of western civilization than all the art and literature we’ve been proudly congratulating ourselves on over the centuries. A much better representation of western civilization than the love and compassion we like to pretend our Judeo-Christian values revolve around.

It’s been so surreal watching western rightists babbling about how savage and barbaric Muslim culture is amid the 2023 zombie resurrection of Bush-era Islamophobia, even while western civilization amasses a mountain of ten thousand child corpses.

That mountain of child corpses is a much better representation of western culture than anything Mozart, da Vinci or Shakespeare ever produced.

This is western civilization. This is what it looks like.

Western civilization, where Julian Assange awaits his final appeal in February against US extradition for journalism which exposed US war crimes.

Where we are fed a nonstop deluge of mass media propaganda to manufacture our consent for wars and aggression which have killed millions and displaced tens of millions in the 21st century alone.

Where we are kept distracted by vapid entertainment and artificial culture wars so we don’t think too hard about what this civilization is and who it is killing and maiming and starving and exploiting.

Where news cycles are dominated more by celebrity gossip and Donald Trump’s latest mouth farts than by the mass atrocities that are being actively facilitated by western governments.

Where liberals congratulate themselves for having progressive views on race and gender while the officials they elect help rip apart children’s bodies with military explosives.

Part 2 of 2 below:

Where Zionist Jews center themselves and their emotions because opposition to an active genocide makes them feel like they are being persecuted, and where Israel supporters who are not Jewish still kind of feel like they are being persecuted also.

Where a giant globe-spanning empire powered by militarism, imperialism, capitalism and authoritarianism devours human flesh with an insatiable appetite while we congratulate ourselves on how much better we are than nations like Iran or China.

These are western values. This is western civilization.

Ask somebody to tell you what their values are and they’ll give you a bunch of pleasant-sounding words about family and love and caring or whatever. Watch their actions to see what their actual values are and you’ll often get a very different story.

That’s us. That’s western civilization. We say we value freedom, justice, truth, peace and free expression, but our actions paint a very different picture. The real western values, the actual product inside the box underneath the attractive label, are the ones you see acted out in Gaza today.

[elliottkay]

New book! New book!

A skirmish in space can scar just as deeply as the fleet battles. Freeing a valley from a corrupt king only opens the land to darker threats. And grand theft auto gets a lot messier when the car belongs to a literal demon.

A small crisis is still a crisis.

LOW-KEY CALAMITIES contains fourteen novelettes and short stories from the series Poor Man’s Fight, Good Intentions, and Wandering Monsters. Collectively they include explicit violence, explicit sex, profanity, defenestrations, espionage, backstabbing, murder, blasphemy, poison, lingerie, public indecency, arguable war crimes, condescension, identity theft, asphyxiation, vigilantism, sabotage, a fart joke, anti-necromantic prejudice, intentional food poisoning, counter-weaponization of stereotypes, deceit, assassination, incitement to riot, disrespect for the dead, abuse of kitchen staff, conspiracy, arson, grand theft auto, breaking and entering, a lost bat, unauthorized dormitory residents, drug use, lies, bickering, punching, leering, kicking, body slams, analysis of adult film, mild hallucinations, paranoia, military “intelligence,” performative charity, genuine charity, talking behind people’s backs, angry essay writing, oral sex, mishandling of explosives, violations of Rules of Engagement, destruction of church property, insensitivity, poor leadership skills, ambushes, grave robbery, insults, family feuding, unintended threats, urban warfare, resentful internal monologues, a carefully bland lunch, and vomiting in front of the boss.

Available in ebook only on Amazon!

[scalproie]

I'm not really like. Upset at the pure fact of Kuai being scorpion, more just that Hanzo might be gone. He really is a tragedy, and it was fun seeing his arc in both timelines. Mostly, besides when Raiden called him Q-C's slave and present Hanzo death. I liked that he became the face of mk but wasn't a chosen one or a altruistic hero or something like that, hell he wasn't even supposed to be popular, just a fun lil thing for the og cast cause his rivalry with Subz.

He just became the popular one cause hes just really fucking cool. He Is good, but unrelenting about what he wants, he's not above killing yet shows restraint for the special forces and Kuai in X. Everything he does is for a reason, maybe not a good one but one you can see the reasoning behind. He's not the most complex character to exist but he's a really fun character.

Plus, I miss the old man yaoi, more on the Old part. Everyone looks so young in 1. My wrinkly old farts are gone ✊️😔

yeah no hanzo being completely MIA so far is a valid concern. but I would like to trust that nrs are not completely clueless over why their characters are beloved in the first place and know that half the appeal of scorpion was hanzo's story and not just his general aesthetic, so I dare hold onto the hope that he's gonna make an appearance in the story, or at the very least, I would settle for a solid justification in-game over why he's missing.

Hard agree on your take on scorpion too, in the great mk universe he is at his core Just A Guy with a storyline thats compelling and could be standalone. Like for exemple, you cant take liu kang, raiden and shang stung (and goro) out of mortal kombat because they ARE mortal kombat, you could technically take sonya (and jax) and kano out of mk but in my personal opinion it wouldnt make for a super interesting story cause its like, standard military mumbo jumbo. Johnny is an outlier and should not be counted, his whole appeal is that he is an actor, adaptable, and is more than he seems. But I genuinely think the ninja storyline with scorpion AND sub zero could be divorced from mortal kombat and still be extremely compelling, even if it does lose a significant amount of meat bc of it.

Also yeah he wasnt meant to be the mascot but im glad he is (alongside subz kinda but he really takes the forefront since mkx) bc like i said before character favoritism is okay if i like said character. Which i do. Also since he really wasnt meant to be mk's face, its funny to imagine if another character got the spot, like imagine reptile on cover bc he was a secret boss back in the day and people (and ed boon) loved him so much he blew up in popularity, while sub zero was relegated to a jobber, and scorpion was dlc like ermac is nowadays (🥹👍)

(Anyway the lesson here is when two characters are so intricately linked in their storyline like scorpy and subz are, they lift each other to the top.)

Anyway back on scorpion, I really enjoyed his arc in the second timeline as well bc yeah, he isnt as shackled in his morality as other characters and I really love that they let him fuck up massively, like killing bi-han ib mk9 when he swore not to, and when he killed quan chi in mkx, its very accidentaly "scorpion and the frog" of him and I like that "he couldnt change his nature" :) he's a really really enjoyable character to watch partly bc hes been through a lot but also bc he genuinely is conceptually so cool. Also I will not be the first to say that his relationship with kuai liang/sub zero in the second timeline was the best written arc they did, that spawned over three whole games too.

SPEAKING OF Im gonna miss the old man yaoi sooo much too, its was about the "finding love again/for the first time in your forties" yknow? Esp with someone u had a complicated history with. Man.

And finally. Technically I understand every character going back to their 20s with the new timeline thingie, I even could understand our resident old man raiden not being old anymore with the whole divinity switch with liu kang but LIU KANG ISNT OLD TO COUNTERBALANCE. HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE HIS WHITE GOD HAIR ANYMORE. and take of depending temperature but Ive always enjoyed shang stung as an old evil man so much more than him young and him not even being old anymore is such a loss to me. So yeah Im mourning my fucking dilfs and senior citizens man😔

[romancebooksformen]

Low-Key Calamities by Elliott Kay. A new short story collection that includes six new short stories set in the Good Intentions universe.

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A skirmish in space can scar just as deeply as the fleet battles. Freeing a valley from a corrupt king only opens the land to darker threats. And grand theft auto gets a lot messier when the car belongs to a literal demon.

A small crisis is still a crisis.

LOW-KEY CALAMITIES contains fourteen novelettes and short stories from the series Poor Man’s Fight, Good Intentions, and Wandering Monsters. Collectively they include explicit violence, explicit sex, profanity, defenestrations, espionage, backstabbing, murder, blasphemy, poison, lingerie, public indecency, arguable war crimes, condescension, identity theft, asphyxiation, vigilantism, sabotage, a fart joke, anti-necromantic prejudice, intentional food poisoning, counter-weaponization of stereotypes, deceit, assassination, incitement to riot, disrespect for the dead, abuse of kitchen staff, conspiracy, arson, grand theft auto, breaking and entering, a lost bat, unauthorized dormitory residents, drug use, lies, bickering, punching, leering, kicking, body slams, analysis of adult film, mild hallucinations, paranoia, military “intelligence,” performative charity, genuine charity, talking behind people’s backs, angry essay writing, oral sex, mishandling of explosives, violations of Rules of Engagement, destruction of church property, insensitivity, poor leadership skills, ambushes, grave robbery, insults, family feuding, unintended threats, urban warfare, resentful internal monologues, a carefully bland lunch, and vomiting in front of the boss.

[darkmaga-returns]

West Ignores BRICS and Ukrainian Retreats, While Israel Struggles with Resilient Hezbollah

24 October 2024 by Larry C. Johnson 77 Comments

At 8pm eastern time, I did a quick survey of the web-front pages of the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, POLITICO and the Financial Times. Not one word about the BRICS summit, which ended today in Kazan, Russia. Total crickets. And these clowns claim status as “news organizations.”

Guess what? Nothing on Ukraine’s military situation either. Why report on activities that will respectively change the international economic order and threaten the continued existence of NATO? No news here. Move along. Nothing to see.

This is journalistic malpractice on a staggering scale. And the owners of these various rags wonder why people under the age of 40 are not lining up to subscribe to their tabloid bullshit. The Washington Post is more concerned about the possible resentencing of the murdering Menendez brothers — two “nice” boys who whacked their parents 35 years ago. And the Post can’t let a day go by without smearing Donald Trump with the nonsensical claim from two former failed generals — Mark Milley and John Kelly — that Trump is just itching to order American troops to start rounding up Americans. That story lingered about as long as a fart in a hurricane.

How about the New York Times? Check out its banner.