#Good Intentions | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

somedaylazysomeday · 2 months ago

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Good Intentions Part Twenty-Five

Ongoing Silco x fem!reader fic (no reader description, no use of 'Y/N')

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4,800

Warnings: Fear, insecurity, break-in, threats to personal safety, mob mentality, time skips, guns, bludgeoning weapons, veiled threats, references to sex as a form of payment, drug references, mentions of previous bribery

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You were woken by the sound of bells ringing.

There was no bell system at the Haven for patients to alert that they needed attention - though in the part of your mind that wasn’t focused on getting dressed, it wasn’t a bad idea - so that wasn’t what had launched you out of bed before you had fully woken up.

No, the bells were the temporary, low-cost security system you had put into place when Silco had pulled his guards away from the Haven.

Since Silco had decided to use the knowledge of your connection to destroy your life, you had never been sure what the security guards were there to do. Were they a parting gift, meant to console you as you adjusted to a less-protected life in the Undercity? Were they meant to keep an eye on you and report back to Silco? Were they just waiting until the most devastating possible moment to leave?

It was your best guess that the last possibility was closest to the truth. HexTech had taken over financial support of the Haven after most of the other donors had withdrawn their contributions, but they were a young company. They didn’t have the money to support themselves and pay for external expenses like security guards. You had just been thrilled to be funded, so you had agreed to those terms.

A little over a week later, Silco had pulled his security guards from the Haven.

One of the two in-house doctors had resigned the next day. His safety could not be guaranteed without guards. The other doctor had stayed, but he was running himself ragged trying to help all the patients through withdrawal alone.

The original Haven staff would have been able to help - most of them had seen enough to function as makeshift medics when absolutely necessary - but they had long since left. The scandal of you accepting donations from Silco had been too much for most of them, and the others hadn’t been able to handle the increased stress of the new workload.

In short, the Haven was still afloat, but you were left trying to cover large gaps in staffing, services, and security. Hence the bells.

You had installed bells over every external door to the Haven, plus a few trip wires and pressure plates that would ring a bell in your room if they were set off. Residents and the new staff knew where the wires and plates were so they could avoid activating them. It wasn’t a particularly elegant system, but it was enough for you to know when someone was in the Haven who didn’t belong there.

As was currently the case.

A baseball bat was your only protection as you moved down the stairs as quietly as possible. There was a dim light coming from under the door in the front room, the door slightly ajar. That was what had set off the bells in your room, then.

With the baseball bat up and over your shoulder, you gently toed the door open and stepped inside.

You halted almost immediately, startled by the way you had been greeted by name. “Yi? Fletcher?”

Fletcher had rushed toward you, handsome face happy, but he paused before he got within touching distance of you. “Are you okay? What’s with the bat?”

“We don’t have security anymore,” you explained shortly. “Never knew when someone is going to break in.”

“That’s why we’re here,” Yi explained. “The lack of security, not to break in.”

Your tired brain was struggling to make sense of that. “What-? What does that mean?”

“Can we sit down?” a vaguely familiar young man requested. You hadn’t spotted him behind Yi and Fletcher, but he seemed to be the last member of the group.

Wordlessly, you motioned them through the door into the kitchen, then followed them inside as they sat at the small table at one side of the room.

“We heard the Haven doesn’t have security anymore,” Yi explained. “We all wanted to come back and help out.”

“Why?” you asked, helpless to disguise the suspicion in your voice.

The familiar man glanced at Yi and Fletcher, then spoke. “I don’t know if you remember me, ma’am. I was part of the security detail that Silco assigned to the Haven.”

You secrets had been laid bare, exposed before the entirety of Piltover, but you still cringed at the casual way he announced your connection to Silco. “Yes, I remember you. You were fairly new. I don’t know if I ever met you officially.”

“Okkan,” he volunteered, offering his hand for you to shake. “Nice to officially meet you, then.”

“Likewise, as long as Silco didn’t send you so he could have someone inside of the Haven,” you countered, voice a little too sharp to be considered polite.

Okkan’s face grew grave. “It’s too late for that. He’s had people here all along. If you haven’t seen him here yet, it’s because he hasn’t wanted you to.”

Fletcher touched gentle fingertips to Okkan’s arm. “That’s probably not as helpful as you meant it to be.”

With a sheepish grimace, Okkan nodded. “I’m sorry, that was supposed to prove that you can trust me. My point is, Silco has no reason to send me here as a plant since he already has people doing that. I don’t work for him anymore.”

“Then why are you here?”

Okkan shrugged. “This is the right thing to do.”

You hummed suspiciously, glancing at Fletcher and Yi. “And you two?”

“I need to make sure my boyfriend doesn’t die fighting off anyone who might attack the Haven,” Fletcher told you. Yi and Okkan both snorted - Fletcher’s skills with combat were as limited as everyone else’s, but augmented with a rich vein of jumpiness and a hatred of blood and dirt.

Yi answered your question with ease, offering it as soon as your eyes rested on her. “I like an underdog.”

You sighed, trying to bury the surge of relief coursing through you. It wasn’t fair to take advantage of them. At least, unless they specifically knew what they were agreeing to.

“If you’re looking for a fight, there are good odds you’ll find it here,” you warned. “Silco has made it clear that he considers the Haven a detriment to his plans for the Undercity. I haven’t seen any signs of an attack yet, but the fact that he pulled the security guards away from here is hardly a good sign. I need to know that you’re aware of the dangers of being here. More importantly, that you know the dangers of being on my side.

“We all know,” Yi assured you. “Okkan was very blunt about the things he saw as part of Silco’s crew.”

“More importantly, we know you,” Fletcher insisted. “You were always good to everyone, even those who didn’t deserve it. That’s worth something, even if everyone in the city seems to have forgotten it.”

You nodded. It seemed like the safest choice. You didn’t trust your voice not to crack if you tried to speak.

By the time you had stood from your chair and crossed to the door, you had recovered enough to say, “You’re welcome to stay, then. Pick any rooms in the employee quarters. Most of it is empty, so you have options. Goodnight. Thank you.”

—

Unfortunately, the new arrivals didn’t have to wait long for the fight you had promised.

The break-in happened at night. You had always suspected that it would - after all, that was the time of day when the Undercity residents were the most active.

The chiming of the bells was desperate and chaotic, nearly masked by the scuffing feet you could hear throughout the first floor of the building. You had been awake late, sacrificing hours of sleep in favor of writing grant requests and reports for the few grants you had left. The Haven’s progress had slowed significantly since your association with Silco had been made public, and you were struggling to frame the work you had done in the most positive light possible.

You had drilled every resident of the Haven with what the sound of the bells meant. All the doors on the lower floors were locked when you ran down the stairs, clenching the grip of your bat in your fist. If even one of the residents managed to remember what you had taught them to do, they were trying to contact the Enforcers.

There were more intruders than you could hope to take on alone. Getting an accurate count was impossible in the gloom, but you counted at least eight. They saw you immediately, watching as you came to a stop a few stairs above the ground floor.

You cleared your throat, letting the bat dangle at your side. “What do you want?”

“Shimmer.”

The answer - called from somewhere in the crowd - made you snort rudely. “You seem to have missed the fact that this is an anti-Shimmer establishment.”

“Addictions are treated with microdoses of the drug,” one of them pointed out. “We’re here for any Shimmer you have.”

“Well-informed,” you noted. “Except that Shimmer addictions can’t be treated with the drug. It takes over the central nervous system, even in small amounts. There is no Shimmer here, microdoses or otherwise.”

“Then maybe we’ll tear this place down,” another threatened. “That’ll send a message to Silco.”

Your heart was in your throat, but you did your best to keep it from being too obvious. “And why would you do that? In case you hadn’t heard, Silco doesn’t have anything to do with this place. Not anymore.”

“No, but he did.” One woman stepped forward, eyeing you suspiciously. “The Shimmer left this place all at once. It was right around when Silco gave you that money. I think that’s important. It means something.”

You stared at her. “You are too smart to waste your mind on Shimmer. But no, it doesn’t mean anything. Silco bribed me with money. He didn’t need to get rid of Shimmer to bribe me a second time.”

“Silco is part of this place,” a large man told you. “Either he hates you and wants it destroyed or he still cares and losing it would make him weak.”

“You should probably figure out whether you’re trying to give the drug lord a gift or a threat before you do it,” you warned, tightening your grip on the bat. “He’s erratic at the best of times, and you might not like the reaction you get.”

From the dissatisfied murmur of the crowd, that was a valid point, but one they didn’t want to acknowledge. You weren’t sure how to proceed. Letting them tear down the Haven wasn’t an option, but telling them to leave might be the thing that pushed them into violence.

The decision was taken away from you when someone grabbed the baseball bat, using it to tow you forward. You stumbled down the stairs, catching yourself only to be pulled into the depths of the crowd. The baseball bat was ripped away from you almost immediately, thrown to clatter across the room.

Immediately, there were shouts of encouragement to kill you. Your pulse was roaring in your ears and you struggled to hear past it. The crowd seemed to agree that Silco may or may not care about the Haven, but he certainly didn’t seem to like you.

You tried to free yourself - it would be stupid not to, when they were audibly planning your death. But there were so many hands. Hands on your hips, hands on your waist, hands on your arms. All of them gripped you tightly, leaving bruises in your skin. You could only hope you would live long enough for them to heal.

“Kill her,” the large man ordered. He was the loudest, which you assumed made him some kind of authority in a crowd like this. “Everyone else, strip this place for anything you can find. Burn the rest.”

“Should she die fast?” the woman who had spoken earlier asked. The way her eyes studied you sent a chill up your spine. “Or slow?”

“Slow.”

The hands squeezed tighter, trying to lead you deeper into the Haven. You fought them, squirming and kicking as you shouted for them to leave you alone.

“Let her go!”

Yi’s voice was the sweetest thing you had ever heard. A close second was when she swung your confiscated bat into the knee of the group’s leader.

He screamed in pain, dropping to the floor. One of the people holding you glared up at Yi. “You can’t fight all of us. Not and win.”

“We aren’t looking for a fight,” Okkan countered. You searched around the room for a moment before you found him standing in front of the door that led to the residents’ rooms. “Between the three of us, we can stop any hope of whatever you all planned to do.”

For a wild moment, you thought he was counting you as one of the three people who would stop the fight, but you were still held firmly in place. Okkan nodded toward the stairs and you saw Fletcher there, holding another gun.

Yi brandished her bat, holding it over her shoulder as if ready to take her next swing. Fletcher was aiming his small handgun at the crowd, hands steady. Okkan was holding a gun that looked almost as big as he was. It looked dangerous, and not purely because of its size.

Okkan cocked the gun loudly, aiming at the crowd. “Time for you to leave.”

“Fine, we’ll go,” the leader said, standing. It was clear that putting weight on his leg was painful, but he was still an imposing figure. “But we’re taking her with us.”

To your surprise, a gunshot came from the top of the stairs, putting a neat hole in the doorframe beside one of your would-be kidnappers.

Yi twirled the bat in her hand. “No.”

“That was your only warning,” Okkan explained, a menacing smile shining bright in the gloomy room.

The attackers were gone in a moment, leaving you sprawled on the floor. Ridiculously, the first thing that came to mind was, “Fletcher, I didn’t know you could shoot that well.”

Fletcher grinned. “I’m not very threatening and I can’t fight. How else did you think I survived in the Undercity so long?”

You were spared the need to respond when Okkan helped you to your feet. “We need to prepare for another attack.”

You frowned, running your thumb over the fresh bullet hole in your doorframe. “Are you sure? It seems like you all scared them pretty badly.”

Okkan shook his head. “Those people broke in. They’re not part of Silco’s group. If random people on the street feel safe breaking into the Haven, that means that word about Silco’s lack of protection has spread. The attacks are just going to happen more often from here. And they’re more likely to get more violent, as well.”

“I don’t have the money for security,” you reminded him. Much as you tried to keep the state of the Haven’s finances from Okkan, Fletcher, and Yi, they had picked it up over the previous weeks.

“But there are other things we can do,” Yi argued. “Move more people into the upper floors, gather together the ones who can’t climb stairs. We’ll put a sturdier door between their rooms and the main areas. One person on guard would be able to lock the door when there’s a break-in.”

“And a few more guns wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Fletcher told you, locking the safety on his own handgun.

You nodded. “Let’s get it done.”

—

The changes you were making to the Haven weren’t exactly secret, especially since Yi, Okkan, and Fletcher told anyone and everyone that there were even more security advancements to come.

You knew what it was - posturing. By talking openly about the defenses in place and positioning themselves as guardians of the Haven, they were discouraging people from attacking without doing so in a way that would seem too close to a dare.

It was clever, though you all knew that moving patients, adding a door, and buying additional weapons were the extent of your security planning. Still, it seemed to be working. Two weeks had passed since the break-in and you hadn’t had a scare in that time. Maybe any would-be attackers were waiting for you to get comfortable and lax, but you were hopeful that the Haven simply seemed like more trouble than it was worth.

All of your optimism disappeared in an instant as you stepped into your office late one night. You couldn’t keep up the pace you had been, but you were fairly certain you could manage one more night of grant-writing before you collapsed into an exhausted heap.

The figure sitting at your desk made you jump, though the lit lamp on your desk should have been the first clue that you had a visitor.

“Close the door, pet,” Silco commanded. “We need to talk.”

You dropped your hand from where it had reflexively pressed over your heart. It was difficult to glare at someone when they could see how badly they had just frightened you. “I’ve already said everything I needed to say, Silco. And you’ve already said everything I was willing to listen to.”

He smirked. “I have missed your backbone, darling.”

“That’s nice.” You pointedly held the door open, waiting for him to leave.

Instead, Silco sat forward, leaning his elbows on the surface of your deks so he could study you more intently. “You can imagine how relieved I was to hear that you survived the first attack on the Haven.”

You didn’t remember closing the door, but the sound of it slamming beside you was unmistakable. “First.”

Silco nodded at the word you had repeated. “I am certain you are clever enough to know that more attacks will come.”

“And I’m sure your memory is good enough to remember that this is the second time the Haven has been attacked,” you countered. “However, we handled this one far more effectively than the last.”

Silco inclined his head in a silent concession of your point. “You defended yourselves admirably. But will you manage the same next time? And the time after?”

“I’m sure there’s a purpose to this conversation.” You glanced outside of the window, using the brightness of the neon signs against the darkening sky to gauge the time. “The Last Drop must be open by now. You have a business to run and I need to get back to mine. Make your point.”

“I am here to offer my assistance, of course,” Silco said smoothly. “It would be simple enough to reassign a security detail to the Haven.”

Your laugh was unintentional, but you didn’t mind it. It was a sharp, ugly sound, leaving no doubt about the sincerity of your amusement. “Considering all of this started because of you, I can’t say I’m inclined to accept your help.”

Silco tilted his head, a dangerous flash of irritation crossing his face. “I am not the one who tried to defect to Piltover.”

“Defect?” you repeated. “Much as you want to believe in it, Zaun isn’t a real, recognized city. Right now, this place is just the lower half of Piltover - looked down on by the Upper City, if they think of it at all. And you ensured that they have no representation in the government.”

“We do not need the scraps that Piltover deigns to give us,” Silco decreed. “We will demand the respect and status we are owed, as full equals.”

“And when will that happen?” You shook your head. “I think, if it were possible, you would have done it by now. Piltover is unaffected by the horrors of life in the Undercity, as strong as it ever was. More so, actually, if HexTech’s plans work out. Meanwhile, the people of the Undercity are eroded by pollution, mine accidents, and Shimmer. If there was ever a time when the Undercity could demand anything, it passed a long time ago.”

Silco snarled. “The people of Zaun were cowed by their failures when they should have used them to spur renewed efforts. The next generation-”

“The one who survives on the scraps that Piltover deigns to give the Undercity?” The sigh that escaped you was less irritated than you hoped, sounding almost mournful. “They are fighting too hard to survive to worry about a revolution.”

“Zaun-” Silco paused, visibly collecting himself. He smoothed his hair back as he stepped around the corner of your desk. “I have diverted from my original point. Regardless of the myriad reasons we find ourselves here, I believe we can come to a mutually beneficial agreement.”

You snorted. “Have you forgotten how our last ‘mutually beneficial agreement’ went?”

The back of Silco’s fingers brushed lightly down the length of your arm. You tracked their progress before looking up at Silco, who was watching you with heavy-lidded eyes. “Darling, I have thought of little else these past weeks.”

Suddenly, there didn’t seem to be enough air in the room. The instant your lips parted around a shaky breath, Silco closed the gap between you.

The touch of his lips against yours was achingly familiar and your body relaxed into the kiss without asking permission from your mind. And considering that he avoided kissing you as long as he had, Silco was shockingly good at it. He knew when to push, when to let you lead, and when to encourage you to deepen the kiss.

And, to your dismay, you did exactly that.

Somewhere along the line, the kiss had turned into something deep and desperate. Your hands roamed across his body as his did the same to yours. He felt wonderfully solid beneath your searching fingers, and you finally admitted to yourself that you had missed him.

Perhaps it was because you had trained your body to expect to be fully satiated at least once a month for longer than you had ever expected. Perhaps it was because such a long time had passed since you had been touched by anyone else. Perhaps - unlikely and abhorrent as it was - you had started to grow fond of Silco.

In any case, you gasped when his trailing fingers skated over the curve of one breast, rubbing unerringly against your nipple before he continued on a steady path downward. You pulled away from him when you heard the desperation of your moan, the fresh air of the room hitting you like a dash of cold water.

“No,” you murmured, repeating it louder when Silco started to tow you back to him. When had you entangled your fingers with his? “No, this isn’t- We have to stop.”

“Why would we ever do something so foolish?” Silco asked, reluctantly letting your fingers slip out from between his. “I have missed you, pet. Have you not missed me?”

“You-” You cleared your throat. “You came here for a reason, Silco. You were going to make me an offer of some kind. What was it?”

“I have already made my offer,” he reminded you, dual gaze piercing. “I will reassign security to the Haven.”

You nodded slowly. “And what are you asking in return?”

Silco spread his hands out to either side of himself. “Renewed access to your delectable body, of course.”

Of course. As if it were clear without explanation, undeniable and irresistible. And it nearly was, damn him. You could keep the Haven safe, protect your people. In return, you only had to give him something you wanted him to have, anyway.

You swayed.

It was an ugly trait for a philanthropist, someone determined to minimize the amount of evil that existed in the world. Your ideals were so high, but you were only human. You wanted nothing more than to let Silco slake the terrible thirst that had overtaken your body. You wanted to fall back into the routine you had become so accustomed to. It would be so easy, so safe, so familiar. You ached for it.

But at the same time, the thought of it made you recoil. For all that your relationship with Silco had gone better than expected - mostly because you had expected to die at the end - you’d had plenty of time to analyze it since your life had started to spiral. Your time together had gone as smoothly as it had because there was a profound power imbalance between you. When issues came up, they were resolved because you were paying him to keep Shimmer out of the Haven’s neighborhood.

Yes, you could go back to the way things had been, but you would never find a better reason to leave. And this time, things could very well end with your death. Was this how you wanted to spend the rest of your life? Fearful and subservient because you missed sleeping with a chem baron?

Your shoulders eased as you realized that your subconscious had already made the decision for you. Silco misinterpreted it entirely, reaching to snag your hand again.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmured, drawing you closer.

“No, Silco. I can’t.” Pulling away seemed like the most difficult thing in the world just then, but you managed it. “I can’t go back to the way things were. Not after the way everything has changed.”

“Nothing has changed,” Silco pressed. “Nothing needs to. We can pick up precisely where we left off. The Undercity has already started to forget the news about the Haven’s donations and, under my protection once more, you can continue to impact this place the way you always wanted. Everything you want - everything we want - is waiting. The only thing you need do is agree.”

If he had said something like that when the indecisive thoughts were swirling through your mind, you would probably be kissing again and well on your way to more. But your swaying had left you stumbling back from the edge, suddenly capable of seeing the chasm yawning just in front of your feet.

“Thank you for the offer,” you said, taking another step back and pulling your hand away from his. “But I must decline. If you don’t mind, I have other responsibilities to which I must attend.”

You had turned to open the door when you felt Silco’s presence behind you. The skin at the back of your neck prickled at both the knowledge that he was behind you and the sudden tension in the air of your office.

“Dismissing me is a mistake, pet,” Silco told you. The words and tone were genial enough, but there was a sharpness in it that made your nerves thrum. “My offer is the only way to avoid the misfortunes that will fall on the Haven. There are those who will tear this place down if they are not stopped. And I’m certain you remember the last time you chose to ignore my advice about an impending attack.”

“Security is a smart idea,” you admitted, turning as Silco’s eyes searched your face. “But I can’t pay you for it. I have no money for extraneous expenses and my body is no longer available as a form of payment. I’m not saying you’re wrong about what could happen to the Haven, but the only thing I can do is stand strong against whatever may come.”

“This is the only time I will give you the opportunity to continue our deal,” Silco warned, Shimmer-infused eye piercing as he stared at you. “The moment I leave the Haven, we are finished. Do not be foolish.”

You bowed your head, hoping a show of subservience would be enough to push him out of the Haven. Silco was always a little more rational when he thought that he had succeeded in making his point. “I understand that the offer is only good for right now, but unfortunately, I cannot accept. Thank you for giving me the chance to make a choice.”

“You will regret this,” he warned, anger flashing across his scarred face as he stalked through your door and toward the front door of the Haven.

You closed the door a moment before you collapsed against it, a fine trembling in every limb and digit. Silco always took it personally when a deal fell through. And an offended Silco liked to soothe his indignation with a little murder. You were getting better about defending yourself against attacks, but you wouldn’t bet on yourself against Silco. It was all for the best that he had left in some semblance of peace.

As you settled to work on the piles of paperwork lying across your desk, you had to push away another twinge of regretful lust. You had done the right thing, but that didn’t make it any easier.

---

Author's Note - This was not my most elegant chapter, but I needed to show how things are progressing in the Haven and the Undercity as a whole. If it helps, every remaining chapter is one I'm very proud of. This is just my awkward little baby who had to leave home before I felt it was ready.

Anyway, thanks for reading! I'll see you next month!

#good intentions #good intentions fic #arcane netflix #arcane silco #silco #silco x reader #silco x you #reader #reader insert #reader insert fanfic #reader insert fanfiction

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sealinne · 4 months ago

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Is that a BB gun?

#justified #justified fx #boyd crowder #wynn duffy #jimmy tolan #i love this scene #the way wynn perks up when he noticed the bb gun #the way boyd says #My colleague is apoplectic at the part you played in the loss of our product.#and #Come on now son. Pussy is a powerful thang.#justified s5e3 #good intentions

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myhauntedsalem · 7 months ago

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Motivation and Success Spell Jar

Cleanse area and jar

Add Sea Salt to charge

Rosemary for motivation

Sage for Protection

Cinnamon for Good Luck

Ginger for success and motivation

Red pepper flakes to get the job done

Green Adventurine for success

Light yellow candle with intent.

Hold over jar – wax to seal – As you seal jar

Chant:

“Motivation come to me, Inspire me.

Let success blossom within me”

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mayapapaya33 · 1 month ago

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Ow ow ow. I just saw the parallels between Zerxus and Cassida both wanting to save a God. Zerxus wanted to save Asmodeus, both spiritually, by redeeming him, and physically, right at the beginning of Calamity, he wanted to save him from The Dawnfather, the "pitiless face of the sun." Cassida wanted to save the prime deities, all of them, but specifically The Everlight. Possibly both spiritually, by supporting the Everlight with worship, the Everlight, who's worshippers were slaughtered by Asmodeus, and physically, by ending the war with the Betrayers.

Zerxus and Cassida both doomed themselves and their cities (with help from their friends/coworkers!) because they wanted to save the gods. They committed incredible acts of hubris and incredible acts of love. And to have it be those two gods specifically! Oh No. I'll definitely probably speak more about this in depth another time, I just needed to get this out. Ouch.

#critical role #exu calamity #cr downfall #zerxus ilerez #cassida previn #ouch #parallels #hubris #good intentions #road paving #avalir #aeor #asmodeus #the lord of lies #the everlight #exandrian pantheon #betrayer gods #prime deities #critical role spoilers

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moonshine-nightlight · 1 year ago

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Nothing's Wrong with Dale - Part Twenty-Eight

It’s been a week, but you’re fairly certain your fiancé accidentally got himself replaced by an eldritch being from the Depths. Deciding that he’s certainly not worse than your original fiancé, you endeavor to keep the engagement and his new non-human state to yourself.

However, this might prove harder than you originally thought.

Fantasy, arranged marriage, malemonsterxfemalereader, M/F

AO3: Nothing’s Wrong with Dale Chapter 28

[Part One][Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven] [Part Seven.5][Part Eight] [Part Nine] [Part Ten] [Part Eleven] [Part Twelve] [Part Thirteen] [Part Fourteen] [Part Fifteen] [Part Sixteen] [Part Seventeen] [Part Eighteen] [Part Nineteen] [Part Twenty] [Part Twenty-One] [Part Twenty-Two][Part Twenty-Three] [Part Twenty-Four][Part Twenty-Five] [Part Twenty-Six] [Part Twenty-Seven] Part Twenty-Eight [Part Twenty-Nine] [Part Thirty] [Part Thirty-One] [Part Thirty-Two] [Part Thirty-Three] [Part Thirty-Four]

If you had thought that the relatively good note that last gala in Connton ended on was a sign of things to come, you would have been wrong. Despite his more jovial turn at the end of the night, Dale’s melancholy in the garden persisted far more than that last mood. If anything he’d been more distant, with hints of a frustrated temper that worries you in its reminder of the man you’d no longer thought you’d have to deal with. You can’t tell what is causing the mood, though you know of many potential culprits.

It could be the investigation. Early the last morning in Connton, you’d seen Dale conversing in the stable loft with a pair of rough-looking folks. From their serious, almost sharp demeanor, and their nondescript brown clothing, everything about them screamed mercenaries. Dale was crouched in the shadows and you almost didn’t recognize him. In fact, you were fairly certain you weren’t supposed to be able to as nothing of his physical features were discernible beyond the vague outline of a person, but his eyes were glowing bright blue with white pupils. The way they had reflected briefly with the light of the single swinging lantern had made you think they belong to a cat at first. The mercenaries certainly looked respectful of his obvious inhuman appearance. When Dale was playing his own contractor, he must be pretending to have demonic enhancements.

You don’t think they noticed you—you hurried on your way quickly enough—having only been up this early to accept the box of herbal ingredients you’d ordered from a local shop. Still, it worried you because the mercenary angle of the investigation wasn’t expected to move forward quickly enough for them to need to meet again so soon. Not that you’d had a chance to speak with Dale about it, or could admit to what you saw in mixed company.

Between the trip back to the Northridge estate, settling back into the estate, and then preparations for the wedding, you’d not had a single moment alone with him. One of his grandparents was always present. They spoke only of wedding matters in the company of others and pressed him for updates on the investigation when alone, which he refused to grant. This left you without any new notes on the situation either.

Dinner the last couple nights had been pleasant, with Dale spending an acceptable amount of time with family. However, nearly all wedding guests had arrived by now–with no sign of Great Aunt Deborah to the Northridges’ collective relief. Dale had elected to spend the majority of his socializing with the friends with which he’d traveled abroad. Even if it did result in him getting rather more drunk than he usually had.

You take a sip of your own wine and gently chide yourself that he isn’t that bad—and certainly not as bad as some of the others. However, you want to spend that time with him. You want another private walk in the garden. You want his hand in yours. You want his support with your family—who you were weathering, but primarily on your own. It still irks you to have talked more with his relatives and your own than with him or even much with his friends these past nights. He’d given cursory introductions, but seemed intent on socializing with them without you.

Perhaps he knows you’d not get along. Perhaps he is trying to afford you more time to speak with your family, to reestablish yourself as an adult with them. You’d thought you’d made your appreciation of his support clear, but maybe he just thought you only needed him to smooth over the beginnings of conversations and not throughout? Perhaps he is attempting to gather information for the investigations on either Eastmont or the Heiress. Maybe he’s trying to verify the people he excluded from the list were proper. If these friends of the original Dale are more likely to open up with only their old friend and not his new, wallflower fiance, is that so unreasonable?

Dale hasn’t discussed any of this with you and you hate how your mind jumps to the conclusion that he’s avoiding you when it’s as likely that he was simply too busy to take the time. Because that guess is too close to your other fears. That perhaps he has made other plans. That maybe getting back into the world of demonic mercenaries is tempting. Or maybe he can see now that noble life came with its own dangers. Or all the pretending was making him realize he’d be playacting as Lord Dale for the rest of his time here and he isn’t sure he wants that anymore.

A body bumps into your own, startling you out of your reverie and your spiraling thoughts. A baron you barely recognize says, “My apologies,” as he hurries over to catch a servant’s attention. You sigh as you finish your own glass of wine and look for something lighter to drink for the rest of the evening. If you’re already this nervous, with so many anxious thoughts tumbling around in your mind, the clearer you can think the better.

Grandmother had left for the evening, with your blessing and thoughts on one of the dessert dishes for the chef you’d hired for the wedding. Your mother had followed her. Your father had retired early with the grandchildren. Callalily and her husband had been with some of Dale’s more distant relatives all day because Callalily could and would find a way to expand her social network anywhere.

You’d better join Marigold, her husband, and the artistic circle they had accrued before Douglas charitably drew you into his circle of military compatriots. You’d sacrificed last night to that group, wanting to see the sibling you knew the least—and you think it had been worth it—but your lack of personal experience often left you feeling like an outsider or plain confused. With the way your mind is intent on gnawing at itself this evening, you’d best avoid them. Unless you see Dale join them of course—he’d made a few comments when he was there last night that worried you in the attention they received.

At this rate you were going to leave your wedding only to immediately fall asleep for a week. But until then, where is Marigold? Had she gone to inspect the gardens and the statues within? The sun was setting, but there was still plenty to see by for all the servants would start lighting the torches soon. Accepting a glass of iced tea, you walk along the side of the room with doors out to the gardens, trying to see if any groups are out there.

You think you might have spotted a handful of people in a courtyard, when a hand on your arms startles you. You turn abruptly enough to have to adjust your grip on your glass to keep from spilling only to find Callalily.

Before you can say anything, she links arms with you and begins to walk away from glass doors outside. “I have been meaning to speak with you,” she leans in closer to add, “in private.”

“Oh?” You furrow your brow, but gesture her into the nearby alcove, decorative screens blocking most of the view into the great hall. This unoccupied musician storage room is as close to a separate room as you are going to find without leaving the area entirely. Is Mother doing something again? Has one of Callalily’s children broken a vase? She has been alluding to her and your other married siblings giving you some sort of advice which could be nice, but where are the others? And is a dinner in the great hall with so many people around truly the time for such a thing?

“Yes,” Callalily replies, glancing around, before adding, “about your fiance.”

Ice shoots through your veins. Has she seen something? Did he do something in front of her? Callalily was clever and sharp, able to pick up on nuances others missed with ease, not to mention her memory. Why hadn’t you thought of it before? Simply because no one in Dale’s family hadn’t noticed enough discrepancies to make them suspicious, beyond Grandfather’s now put-to-bed worries about you, did not mean no one would. You swallow. “What about Lord Dale?”

“Are you certain…” Callalily begins before stopping. Callalily never pauses like that, as if she is hesitating. You rack your mind for any time that she might have been alone with Dale and seen something you cannot explain away—that she has not already dismissed as a trick of the eye. However, she doesn’t look frightened, merely apprehensive. Has Dale made some other sort of mistake? “I am aware that you are looking forward to marriage and your independence from our parents. However, is there a possibility you might be acting with some rash or willful blindness regarding the betrothed you’ve chosen?”

You need a minute to parse what she’s said, it's so far from what you were expecting. It sounds as if she knows nothing of his true nature instead she’s suggesting... When you finally comprehend her words without your fears overshadowing them, you blink in shock. “Excuse me? Are you suggesting I choose a different fiance? You believe I should sever my engagement?”

Instead of immediately correcting you, she only looks apologetic. “I am only saying that this will affect the rest of your life and it’s important—”

“—Important I give the decision a due amount of thought?” you finish for her, parroting back her words from when she questioned your choice of school and later questioned focusing your studies on administration rather than medicine despite always attempting to impart upon you the importance of making your own choice free from others influences. “I cannot—.” You can’t believe she would ask you something like this, that she would still doubt your ability to make decisions for yourself. And to ask this now, of all times. “I do not know what is worse, that you think I have not already done so or that you think I’m fickle enough to change my mind three days before the wedding.”

“That’s not what I am saying!” she protests.

You’ve always given her the benefit of the doubt, that she worries about you and only wants what’s best for you. This is so far beyond that. Angry frustration fills every line of your body as you resist the urge to throw your hands in the air. You take a deep breath and say, with as little emotion as possible and as much fake patience as you can muster, “Then what are you saying?”

Callalily falters for a split second before straightening her spine with renewed confidence. “If new information comes to light, then it is necessary to change one’s course of action. There are always legitimate reasons to delay or reconsider important decisions. You are allowed to change your mind.” Her voice gentles at the end and you hate it more than you did the self-righteousness of the beginning. And at the heart of it, all she is saying, in more general words, is exactly what she claimed not to be saying.

You take a deep breath. “I am allowed such a choice. You are not wrong that such a thing is possible. But you are still advocating that I break my betrothal, or at least my wedding date.” You pause, to give her the chance to dispute you, but she keeps her lips pressed together. “Do not act as though doing so would not have far-reaching consequences. Do not act as though I shall do so on the word or suggestion of one other person, no matter how I care for you.” Your stern voice breaks, no matter your attempt to keep up the facade. “I do not understand why you are proposing such a course of action. Has something happened, Callalily? Why are you saying this to me?”

“He does not seem trustworthy,” Callalily says urgently, stepping closer. “The rumors that I’ve heard just since coming here have me concerned. He does not seem worthy of your hand.” That should be flattering to hear, that she thinks so highly of you, and in a manner it is, but it also fills you with worry about what she has heard, what secrets she might be edging around. Simultaneously, you’re embarrassed that she thinks you so ignorant as to not have known any of this yourself. “I’m starting to doubt why Mother and Father even entertained the notion of an engagement with Lord Dale. He is not right for you.”

You don’t even know what to say in the face of such vague accusations. The comment regarding your parents is both surprising and not. Callalily’s faith in your parents decisions always corresponds with if they are in concert with her own—if they agree, it is because they are intelligent, logical parents worthy of respect and if they do not… You’ve no idea what rumors she might have heard otherwise, and her concerns might be more valid with the original Dale, but even in that case, you had committed to this course of action and she’d not have swayed you then, at least, you hope not. “Well, I appreciate your concern, sister,” you try to politely brush her off because the worst thing is when she digs her heels in, “however it is unnecessary in this instance. So let us return—”

“Do not “sister” me,” she hisses. You wince, perhaps you overstepped with your more casual dismissal. “My concerns are valid. You’ve not even heard them out.”

“Fine,” you reply stiffly, trying to hide your fear and weariness with having to defend your choices to the person who most advocates you making them. “Name them. What has you so convinced I should not marry? Has he threatened you? Me? Did you catch him with a lover?” You are careful to name the events least likely to your mind, in order to guarantee her negative response. You know they also give away how fed up you are with having to discuss this, but you find yourself beyond caring at this point. If she wants to do this, it shall be at least as unpleasant for her as it is for you. “Please enlighten me.”

Callalily’s expression vacillates between shocked at your anger and annoyance at your continued downplaying of her worries. “I did not have to stumble upon him with a lover to know he’s taken them before.” You want to point out that many nobles do. That you’d known he had done so. That at least he had been discreet enough that there were no children or even solid evidence of who his lovers were, which is far more than can be said for others. “He’s left a string of them as he traveled and left all dissatisfied with how the affair ended. It appears he prefers to make promises of permanence and position and then break any such vows.” You can believe that of the original Dale. The only reason he had been honest with you in the beginning is because he thought you a guarantee. “Not only to his lovers, but to his proclaimed friends as well. Many were thought to have been guaranteed a position in his household only to have such promises broken with ease.”

That final comment might actually be due to the change in Dale, how you have decided together to choose those deserving of such positions and not simply how politically advantageous bringing in certain people might be. You don’t know how many such promises the original Dale had made, nor how many this Dale has broken. The prospect worries you, could that be why Dale is spending so much time with his friends and why he is in such a tense mood these days? Regardless, you can tell Callalily none of this and so you try hard to keep your expression neutral.

It must be working because Callalily frowns at your lack of response and continues before you can rebut any of her concerns. “Then there are the rumors of his interest and experimentation with the Depths, no matter Northridge’s reputation of staunch opposition.” Your eye must twitch at that, or something else gives away your trepidation with this topic. Callalily’s mouth flattens into a grim smile. “I’ve heard from multiple sources about his study of such subjects and his interest in performing such rituals. Any man who seeks the aid of the Depths, against his family’s wishes and without an obvious need, cannot have good intentions. He falls victim to the lesser vices too: gambling, drinking, spending freely on vanity.”

She holds up a hand and counts off on her fingers, “He’s ambitious, selfish, a liar, and a cheat. He’s not to be trusted or relied upon.”

You wait a few extra seconds to see if there is more before you reply. “I appreciate your concerns, however—”

“However, you’re not going to listen, are you?” Callalily’s hands are on her hips and she purses her lips together in frustrated dismay. “I thought only Marigold was this hard-headed. I thought you knew better, I thought you couldn’t be swayed by a handsome face or—”

“That is enough,” you snap, unable to keep the words in any longer. “Is this a discussion or a lecture? I have let you voice your concerns and if you’re not satisfied with my acknowledgment, then I’ll take my own turn to speak now.”

“Very well.” Callalily snaps. “Go on, what do you say to this?”

You’ve no idea where to start and decide to simply go through in the order she did. After a sip of your drink, you begin, “Firstly, I did do my own research in my prospective spouse as I of course considered this decision very seriously indeed. While my contacts and methods are not your own, I do have some.” While Callalily’s were likely other nobles, foreign officials and the like, you had grown close with your servants—maids and nursemaids alike who cared for you in your illness and you’d continued the habit at school. If your maid, Martina, hadn’t had to help her family, she’d have come with you to Northridge. She’d truly retired from being lady’s maid when you went off to school. She’d apprenticed under a nurse and completed her training, but had agreed to be your maid once more, if only until you were betrothed.

“Clearly they weren’t skilled,” Callalily cuts in to diagnose, “if they did not return with similar information.”

“They did,” you correct, because that was in their report, “baring I assume any information that’s related to Dale’s activities from the last two months, of course. The difference is my context for such information and my personal experience with him. Beyond that, you’ve never grappled with the choices I have.”

“Excuse me?” she looks offended, pressing a hand to her chest. “I am married. It was a decision I made with Mother and Father, but I was the driving decision maker, not them, not societal pressure, nor anything except my own drive for my future.”

“And that cannot be what I have done,” you cannot help but allow a certain sardonic edge to enter into your voice at her implication, “what I am doing.”

“You—”

“No,” you interrupt, ignoring her startled expression. “I believe it is time you listened to me, properly for once.” You take a deep breath while she waits, eyes a bit wider than before, for you to do so. “You were the second oldest, with intelligence, a talent for language, and more confidence in society than I’ll ever have. And robust health, of course. Your options for marrying, for how to spend your days—your vision—none of those are mine.” You can see she knows you can want different things but that she’s still not facing reality when it comes to your opportunities. You swallow and continue, “Mother and Father did their best to keep word of my ill health minimal, but they did not try so hard when I was young. Not until I was older did they begin to believe I’d live to be an adult who had to worry about marriage prospects. They expected me to die young or at least not to outlive Aunt Katherine’s age.”

Callalily pales at your statements and rushes to reassure you, “That’s not, no one wanted—”

“I’m not discussing what they wanted,” you reply gently. “I am stating what they believed to be true.” When she still looks as though she will protest, you ask her outright, “Are you going to say they did tell you as much? That I was born in a fragile state, too late in Mother’s life and with the fits just like Father’s little sister. She was twelve when she died.” They had believed you would do the same. No matter how they tried to hide it, you can barely remember a time in your life you did not know that death chased you far harder than it did others, haunting your every spasm. “You should have seen how Father looked at me from eleven ‘til I went three months without a fit, when he could look at me at all.”

Callalily has no notion of how to response. She places a hand on your shoulder, trying for some sort of physical comfort, “I...”

When nothing further escapes her mouth, you try for a smile. “I’m not saying this for pity, Callalily, I’m saying this because you act as though I was not the one who lived through it. As if I was not the one in pain, not the one who was dying. As if I slept through those years.” You’ve never been able to understand that belief. As if, despite certain medicinal efforts, you were in some sort of un-rememberable haze during those times. It was your life, your body.

You straighten as you proclaim, “Well, I did not. I was very aware. My dreams were not your dreams, but I did have them. As it is, I’ve been quite successful, for a given metric of success as I have achieved most of them by. I can walk across a room without worrying I’m going to hurt myself. I can run and ride and dance.” You remember counting steps and keeping track of days and pushing yourself to grab every tiny chance to live. How hard and easy it had been to achieve some of those goals once you began the upward climb to recovery. “I have been able to leave our country estate and attend to school and participate in galas.” You gesture to the ball beyond you.

“At the school that I wished to attend, even if it wasn’t the one you still believe I should have gone to, I was finally able to dream beyond even that.” It had taken some time, your dreams so distant for so long, that you had felt lost once you were there, life overwhelming in a manner you were unaccustomed to. “I do not want to become a diplomat as you are, or an artist, or a knight. An academic or a physician do not appeal either, although I know you think I should become a doctor.” She had said as much in her letters and in person. You have explained that you enjoy the topic and taking care of yourself, but you do not wish it for a career. She thinks it is Mother’s influencing pushing for a more traditional noble life or your own insecurities and fears holding you back. You simply do not want it.

You’ve tried to persuade her you are not settling or giving in or whatever else she believes. You want her to listen so badly this time as you say, “I spent too much time with Asher in his study. I enjoyed my administration classes too much. I was on an estate too long. My wish is to aid in the running of a fief, even if I’m fifth born. Even if the rumors of my sickness were so persistent that the first few potential suitors I was introduced to thought I’d died years ago. I begged Mother for the extra health reports.” You’d hated them, hated how invasive they were and how skeptical the doctors were. You had feared them telling you the illness would return or that you were unfit to be married. However, in the end, you’d needed their assurances to the contrary nearly as much as your prospects had. “Our parents increased my dowry in response to my wishes.” They had still managed the process and it had been what they were hoping for, to see you follow the most traditional path, but why shouldn’t you have encouraged them when it was in service to your own ends?

Callalily did appear to be listening, or at least she made no further motions to interrupt. You feel bolstered by that and say, “There were others we considered. True, not many, but a handful. I’ve no desire to do the socializing and connection forging a new baron would require,” you begin covering the reasons you turned down the few you’d had even a single conversation with. Perhaps it's disingenuous to mention these who you’d no formal discussion about marriage, but they were people and families that had been tangible enough that you recall your reasons of rejection. “I’ve no desire to shoulder all the administration a collegiate heir would ask. I’ve no desire to raise another’s children, never sure of my own future if they move against me. I might not run as cold as Mother likes to believe, but I do not want to spend months in the snow. I do not want to move somewhere I cannot speak the language fluently.” At the last one, you can’t help but give her a pointed look to remind her that you don’t have her facility with language, to reiterate that you want different things.

You take another deep breath, because now you must discuss Dale—without giving voice to any of the changes that have happened with him. “Lord Dale, even with his concerning reputation at times, did not come with such obstacles. Many take lovers prior to marriage, do you think me ignorant?” You are aware she thought you on the naive side, but you need her to remember that you’ve been an adult for years now and do not require such coddling. “He was discrete with those matters, as I am certain you cannot identify them all. Not to mention, they are liable to spin such affairs to have faults that are his rather than their own.” Callalily reluctantly nods her agreement at that.

At least, having connections with who you did meant you were more confident that she might be in the main point. “I made certain he’d sired no bastard children, through my medical contacts.” You can see she hadn’t considered that you might have such advantages, but you’ve no desire to dwell on this topic. You need to confront her concerns with his personality head on before you lose steam. “He’s on the arrogant side, spoiled to a degree given how his grandparents raised him after his parent’s untimely death,” you quietly acknowledge with a glance to ensure you are still alone in your alcove, before continuing, “but many heirs are. As for gambling, he plays cards, yes, but he has no concerning debts I could find. He’s not violent with his friends nor his servants. He’s not a drunkard, if we’re wanting to discuss vices. Did you truly find anything to support such activities?”

“No,” Callalily admits. “You are correct, there was nothing to obvious excess that I discovered in my minimal investigation. However, his research into concerning topics…” She trails off, obviously allowing you to have the floor back.

You’re grateful she’s letting you, that she seems far more interested in a true discussion than she had originally. It’s still more than you’ve perhaps ever said at one time to her and naturally it is on the most complex topic in your life. “As for his academic interests,” you say carefully, “I’ve spoken with him and am aware of his stance on such matters. He disagrees with the rigidity of his grandparents’ laws and actions. In the manner of many rebellious youth, he had pursued the opposite. Now, he seeks to ensure he knows enough to protect himself and Northridge. He has moved on from his more careless experimentation, to my knowledge.” Whatever else he does now, it cannot be more careless, that’s for certain.

“And the broken oaths?” Callalily asks, sterner and more skeptical after your most recent answer.

You sigh, wishing you’d had the foresight to realize how this would appear from the outside. “As for certain promises made to his friends, after he discussed them with his grandparents, myself, and the steward, some were retracted due to unsuitability. It is a sign of the better judgment of the study room rather than the rash wishes when traveling and drinking. It is expected, to change one’s mind in light of the advice of trusted advisors, is it not?” you can’t help but add, echoing her original point.

She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t disagree. You’ve provided a rebuttal to the majority of her points, right? You take advantage of her still rather open mood to attempt to state as clearly as you can where you stand. “My desire is to marry Lord Dale and be his lady of Northridge. I’d thank you to respect my decision. It’s already been made.”

She frowns, but it's more thoughtful and resigned than angry or frustrated which you hope is a good sign. “I see. You certainly have an answer for everything, do you not?” She sighs heavily, but you think you hear only defeat in the sound, not her preparing for another fight. “I had no idea you were so aware of how concerning we all found your condition, nor had I thought since your recovery of what else your illness might still cast a pall over. I think you are still—well, I suppose that’s only my view, is it not?”

“I can continue speaking, explain further,” you offer, but your voice gives away how wearing you find the concept. “You might eventually make a point I haven’t considered.”

“No,” she replies, shaking her head and glancing back at the still bustling grand hall. “I’ll not put us both through that. Not here, not now—though anything you want to confide in me, I’d hear,” she offers with a small smile. “I suppose the only question I have left to ask is: has he been treating you well? Not only in public, but in private?”

She’s sincere in her question and you appreciate the feeling of familial support it gives you. You know if you answered to the contrary, she would help you break such an engagement. The prospect makes you feel safer, even if it is unnecessary. “Yes, he has.”

“Even so, some do not reveal themselves until time passes,” she warns, but you can tell it’s for the sake of it, out of general protectiveness, not doubt in you.

That lets you answer her calmly instead of defensively, “I’m aware. I have contingencies for that outcome, should it occur.” She raises a brow at that, but you’ll not discuss that here. You’ve no notion how she’d see you medicinal protections. “I cannot wait for the clear, perfect, future—I can only grasp what is in front of me.”

“I suppose that is all any of us can do,” she agrees. Then she ventures a more tentative observation, “You have appeared weary and tense over the past few days. I thought he might be the cause.”

You blink in surprise, you hadn’t thought she’d notice. So much for hiding those feelings, you think ruefully. “I’m not one for all these parties and socializing, no matter how I used to long for them. They are more enjoyable in theory, or in moderation.” You smile sheepishly. “Truthfully, I will be pleased after the wedding, when we can stop having them so frequently.”

She smiles back at that admittance. “I see. My apologies, for my presumption. I did not mean to insult you. I was only worried for you.”

“I know.” You place your hand over hers on your shoulder and give it a squeeze. “I thank you for your concern, truly, but please do not broach this topic again,” you plead, eyes darting beyond her once. You try for a casual attitude as you say, “I’ll have no rumors about my wedding being called off, thank you very much.”

“Of course, of course,” she hurries to reassure you. “Let’s rejoin the others.” You follow her out of the alcove and back towards where the majority of guests are congregated, past a few of the now open doors to the gardens. “I don’t think we’ll stay too late tonight—I’ve far too many letters to write in the morning, but I believe I saw Asher—”

Wherever Callalily might have seen Asher, you don’t find out. A commotion in the courtyard directly outside catches both your attention. In one of the courtyards off the grand hall, a knot of courtiers your own age are gathered. The shouting appears to be coming from one particularly drunk figure if the way they are swaying is any indication. The air has the sudden awkwardness of a group who had been having fun only for the tone to abruptly turn serious and uncomfortable. A small circle of space is forming around him, revealing another figure as well. One you recognize all too well.

“Dale,” you say quietly, immediately changing course. Callalily is only a step behind you as you cross the paving stones to the group. The setting sun and the newly light torches cause light and shadow to dance in the wind and by the heights, you hope that's all that’s causing it.

“…believe what I am hearing with these ears,” the drunk man is saying. He tugs on one of his ears for emphasis even as the other clutches his goblet. He turns to another and asks, “Can you Millie?”

“I heard it as well, Willie,” a woman sounding near as drunk as him replies. “Said he required an individual with a greater range of skills. A person more ree-lie-able.”

Willie scoffs. “For how long have you found me so inconsistent, Dale?”

“Wilhelm,” Dale’s voice is easily heard above the chatter around them. He’s clearly trying for calm reason, which you know won’t work on someone who’s clearly had as much as Wilhelm has, but you’re glad he isn’t upset. “You have had too much of your own gift and—”

“Oh, I beg your pardon,” he gives an exaggerated and very low bow you hope he can’t recover from. Unfortunately, despite a half step to the side, he straightens once more with only a mildly more exaggerated sway than before. “How inconsiderate of me.”

You slip through those forming the loose circle, recognizing them as various members of Dale’s traveling party. You come up on his left and murmur, “Lord Dale,” to warn him of your presence as you slot yourself next to him. You can’t help the hand that skates down his side, checking however briefly that he’s still in one piece and with no shadow tendrils to speak of. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, sana,” he replies, his dark eyes meeting yours for a second before they fix back on Wilhelm. They’re not even glowing, which is a profound relief, even if this lighting might excuse such a thing more than others. “Everything is fine.” His tone is still light enough, if anything it contains an apology for you having to join him in dealing with this problem.

You relax at his attitude, hoping that this is routine enough that this group won’t think it out of the ordinary. That it can be quickly handled.

“Is this your doing?” Wilhelm accuses and you look over at him to see him not glaring at Dale any longer, but at you.

You nearly step back in surprise, but Dale’s strong arm wrapping around your back helps you find the support to stay where you are. You’re still not sure what the argument, if there is one, is even about—let alone why he might think you’ve anything to do with it. “Excuse me?” You finally place the name and hesitantly identify him as, “Lord Wilhelm of Aliers, yes?”

“As you rightly must know!” he slurs back before gesturing emphatically with what must be a nearly empty goblet of wine given how careless he’s being with it. “Do not play coy with me!”

You think you were introduced to him the first night you were back on the estate along with the rest of his family, but you’ve not had a true conversation with him. “I do not know—” you try to protest before he cuts you off.

“Are you manipulating Dale into abandoning his friends?” He takes a step forward and Dale’s grip on your upper arm tightens. “Whispering in his ear until he betrayed his oaths?”

You open your mouth and then shut it, no notion of how to respond. What is he even talking about? Dale answers in your stead, retorting, “There was no oath to betray and you are well aware of that.”

“There might as well have been,” Wilhelm hisses and you finally remember that he had been one of Dales’—original Dale’s—choices for a position in the Northridge household. A training master of some kind until this Dale had reconsidered the intelligence of such a choice. Wilhelm takes another step closer. “How dare you, you meddling little pest.”

“Watch your tongue,” Dale’s voice has lost the mild veneer of humor he previously had. “Apologize to my fiance this instant.”

Before you can try to diffuse the situation as if it might be a misunderstanding, Wilhelm takes another gulp of his drink, which evidently was not yet emptied of its contents, and says, “Not a chance. I want, want an answer.” He draws his sword with a surprisingly clean motion and points its wavering tip at you. Even yards away, you do not appreciate the threat. “Is this your doing? Are you the reason he’s all, all, yeah? Did you convince him to abandon me and give my promised posting to another?”

“I did noth—” you try to protest.

“My betrothed has nothing to do with us or the posting,” Dale interjects, pulling you closer and now with his own sword in hand. You’re aware of the circle of space has grown around you. Wilhelm’s other friends don’t appear particularly inclined to reign him in, most just watching for the skeptical. You think you see two exchange coin. “And you shall apologize for the grievous insult you have paid to us both.”

Wilhelm notices his goblet is empty and that Dale’s own sword is drawn, in that order, causing his scowl to deepen. He shoves his cup into someone’s hand with a brisk order to fetch him another before walking closer to Dale into the growing space around the two arguing nobles and yourself. “Are we going to settle this properly? Or do you not care for such activities these days either? Domestic and cowardly, eh?”

You almost want to laugh at the idea of either of those words describing either Dale, but the tension and possibility of a genuine fight keeps any such more light-hearted responses frozen in your chest. You glance up to see Dale’s darkened expression. You feel the tension in his body as he says, “Do not push me, Wilhelm. I will answer you if you continue to do so and you shall not appreciate the result.”

“No,” Wilhelm cries, “it is you who will regret their actions.” And then he charges at the pair of you. Dale releases you, thrusting his cane into you hands and pushing you behind him in the same motion. You stumble into the steadying hands of his valet as he baits Wilhelm away from the spot you’d been standing. You absent-mindedly thank Mr. Murray for keeping you on your feet after the abrupt motion, but you can’t take your eyes off the fight.

The two circle each other after that charge fails and luckily for you, Wilhelm seems to have forgotten you exist. “There’s no need for this, Wilhelm,” Dale says, obviously still trying to talk his friend out of this fight. Wilhelm doesn’t even seem to hear him. Even drunk he proves to be an expert swordsman as he manages several near blows. You can see why Dale considered him for swordsmaster, despite his obvious weakness for drink. He manages a strike that gets past Dale’s guard. Luckily Dale is able to step back so it does nothing more than cut his vest.

It's obvious he’s unhurt, but you watch as Dale’s whole demeanor focuses, as he finally stops trying to prevent this fight. He’s graceful and controlled compared to Wilhelm’s swaying, fast movements. You can’t help but admire the picture he creates as he moves. You don’t fear he’ll get hurt, only what he might reveal, and surely a single duel such as this is nothing compared to the tournament. If you worry for anyone, it’s Wilhelm as his skill might force Dale to answer back more strongly than he wants to given his friend’s condition. Although, perhaps they are no longer quite that close.

In the end, Dales doesn’t bother trying to best a swordsman of such caliber, even if he’s soused. Dale seizes the first opening he sees and presses in bodily, catching and tilting the sword points to the left and locking hilts. Wilhelm sputters something about a foul while trying to get free only for Dale to send both rapiers clattering to the floor. Unfortunately with it gone from his hand, Wilhelm seems to remember how to use the rest of his body and he kicks out at Dale’s knee.

“Rotten cheater,” he spits as Dale grunts and tries to stay on his feet. “Why are you—”

Whatever he’s trying to say is cut off by the whole body check Dale gives him, turning his shoulder into Wilhelm’s chest to knock him back. Wilhelm stumbles, trying to stay standing, but Dale follows him. Wilhelm manages to dodge first one punch and then the next, but the third hits him square on the side of the head. His eyes roll back as he drops like a stone.

Someone catches him before he can hit the ground and Dale’s eyes dart around, as if looking for another threat to handle. You finally look away from Dale’s form and notice that the one who caught Wilhelm as he fell wasn’t one of his friends, but your brother, Douglas. In fact, as you look around you, very few of the original group is still present. Callalily’s whispering in the ear of one woman who is being escorted out by Callalily’s husband, who you don’t even recall joining you out here. Callalily walks over to another lingering couple after sending you a wink.

“I apologize for the spectacle,” Dale says to the dwindling group at large. He focuses on Douglas and adds, sounding bewildered at how quickly everything escalated, “He’d been in pleasant spirits earlier.”

“Clearly he ended up deep in the unpleasant ones in the meantime,” Douglas replies with a cheeky grin. “You two,” he looks right at the remaining couple who are currently tending to the drunk woman, “Millie”. They look startled to be addressed while the woman you finally identify as Millian of Sunston pouts at her empty goblet. “Would you be so kind as to guide me to his,” he jostles the still unconscious Wilhelm, “rooms?” Despite that his words are technically a question, Douglas makes it clear there is only one answer he expects. He’s always been rather good at that. Being taller than even Dale helps. “I think it best we aid these two in sleeping the night's events off in peace.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” the woman replies, grateful enough you don’t think she even noticed the implied threat. “My apologies, Dale, for my brother. He—no, no. I apologize profusely for his misbehavior and offer no excuses. We could give none that would be adequate.”

“Peace, Helena,” Dale says, sounding tired. “I should not have encouraged him to enjoy himself so in order to compensate for changing my mind regarding his posting. Regardless, his actions are not your own.”

“Nor yours,” she replies with a self-deprecating smile, “As he has proven himself worthy your reluctance in one foul swoop. I appreciate your understanding his disappointment manifesting itself as it did.”

Dale nods, uninterested in making the night’s ordeal into a longer affair with more obvious recompense as is his right as the challenged noble, the winner of the informal duel, and the owner of this home. For all her feigned confidence, Helena seems relieved at Dale’s easy agreement. You walk over to them, handing Dale his cane back. His eyes are as intent as they ever have been as he looks you over, even though you were not even in the fight. Once secure in your well being, he turns back to Helena. “Please do impress upon him my intolerance of slights aimed at my bethrothed, if not at myself. He’d be wise to apologize.”

“Of course,” Helena reassures him before meeting your eyes. “I beg his pardon and apologize in his stead tonight, my lady. He should never have said what he did and he would never have said them, if not for his overindulgence.”

“I understand and accept your apology,” you reply formally. “We all are aware of how too much fine wine can befuddle the mind and confuse the tongue.”

Millian scoffs at the word ‘confuse’ and Helena and her friend take the opportunity to hustle her away, leading Douglas to sling Wilhelm over his shoulder and follow.

As soon as they are back inside, you notice everyone else in this courtyard has gone as well, only Dale’s valet waits for you within the grand hall’s doorway and Callalily’s district purple and gold dress is evident through the glass window to the right. Grateful you’ve no more audience, you turn to Dale, reaching to trace the cut scored along his vest from Wilhelm’s rapier. “Dale, are you alright? Truly?”

Dale catches your hand in his own larger one. “I’m fine, sana,” Dale says, trying for a smile, but not quite reaching one.

Your disbelief must show on your face because he wipes his free hand down his face and sighs. “I am only tired, as we have discussed.” His thumb absentmindedly strokes the back of your hand, both comforting you and sending a pleasing tingle down your arm. He looks contrite as he says, “I apologize for instigating such a scene.”

“It was no more your fault than Lady Helena’s,” you say, aiming to reassure him. You hope he can tell you’re referring to both his handling of the situation tonight and his decision not to give the swordsmaster posting to Wilhelm in the first place.

You think he understands you, some of the tension in his shoulders dissipating. And yet, he still looks more upset than you’d like from the night’s events. He shakes his head lightly. “All the same, my apologies for the trouble I’ve played a hand in causing.”

“Dale, there’s nothing you’ve done that warrants apology,” you say as sincerely as you are able to.

He gives another small smile in function, if not in sentiment, and lets go of your hand. Reluctantly, you pull it back to yourself, unable to reach back out after he’s pulled away. You glance back inside the hall and try for a smile yourself, hoping to get everything back into a more typical mood. “Shall we return?”

“I’m more tired than I expected after that confrontation,” Dale confesses, shoving his hands into his pockets. “If you’ll excuse me, I believe I’ll retire for the night.”

You’re tempted to say that in fact you will not excuse him. You want to demand to know what is weighing so heavily on him these past few days, to shoulder the burden in some way. The most you can likely do is listen to him and he won’t even allow that much. All you need to do is wait three more days, you remind yourself. In three days, you’ll be married and finally alone with each other. You can finally have an honest, private conversation and start your partnership together. You can wait that long. You can. “Of course,” you allow, however reluctantly, “have a restful night.”

A sardonic smile crosses Dale’s face and you think he’s going to make a quip about his tiredness or how much sleep he requires, but then it fades. Do demons get nightmares? Is something else contributing to his exhaustion beyond the galas or the investigation? He looks up at the now dark night sky for a moment before he looks back down at you. He opens his mouth and you think he’s actually going to confide in you. In the end, all he says before walking away is, “I wish the same for you.”

[Part Twenty-Nine]

#my writing #story part #story: nothing's wrong with dale #nothing's wrong with dale #dale #slow burn #monster bf #monster romance #arranged marriage #osha compliant #terato #exophilia #its a long one - the longest one might say #my sister had no opinion about my choice of college and/or major #why do you ask? lol #don't you lov it when people think they know what you want and who you are and what u like better than u do urself?#good intentions #just a bit late #hope theres not too much monologing #hiding in the corner with ur sibling not-yelling at each other #on this 3 days before my wedding #gotta admire a man who can knock out a drunk dude harassing you #douglas also thinks he's funny #chap 2 of 3 brought to you by my week long vacation with all my siblings that just happened #can you tell?#stay tuned for the next chapter with more sibling shenanigans #let me know what you thought!

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i-used-to-be-a-spy · 7 days ago

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Michael is surprised Sam is doing dishes which makes me think he normally just leaves dirty dishes and Michael has to clean them lol 😆

S3e15 Good Intentions

#burn notice #good intentions

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sapphire-loom · 3 months ago

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Augusten Burroughs

#literature #poem #poetry #quotes #dark academia #light academia #flaws #good intentions #myself

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free-my-mindd · 2 years ago

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I like pure and clear intentions.

#text post #my thoughts #good intentions #positiveenergy

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elliottkay · 1 year ago

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Hi, I’m Elliott, and writing smut changed my life.

I also write military sci-fi and fantasy and D&D shitposts, but this is about the smut. I promise it won’t get weird. Much.

In 2010, I was scraping by as a substitute teacher and things were not great at home. I had only written gamer fic for friends, my aspiring mil sci-fi novel was stuck, and I needed some sort of escape… and I thought, “Well, I like sexy stories, and Literotica is free, and…”

My story was a feel-good adventure about a college guy with a heart of gold, a jaded demon weary of evil, and Heaven's hottest mess. It was silly. It was sexy. It was polyamorous, warm, and irreverent, and Literotica loved it: high ranking, tons of comments, and holy shit am I getting positive feedback from the internet?

So it became my first book:

…and that book plugged some holes in my life. It didn’t get me out of subbing, but it filled the financial gap, and it picked me up after a break-up. More importantly, it gave me an audience. When I published Poor Man’s Fight, I already had readers, and that led to more readers… many of whom then picked up Good Intentions and loved that, too, though some had the shocking experience of “Oh my god, it’s full of butts!”

If you’ve read this far, it’s probably time for the content warning. I’m a big believer in these, for serious reasons and, um… less serious.

WARNING: “Good Intentions” contains violence, explicit sex, nudity, inappropriate use of church property, portrayals of beings divine and demonic bearing little or no resemblance to established religion or mythology, trespassing, bad language, sacrilege, blasphemy, attempted murder, arguable murder, divinely mandated murder, justifiable murder, filthy murder, sexual promiscuity, kidnapping, attempted rape (which is never comedy), immolation of said attempted rapists, persistent disrespect for vampires (which is always comedy), arson, dead animals, desecrated graves, gang activity, theft, assault and battery, panties, misuse of the 911 system, fantasy depictions of sorcery and witchcraft, multiple references to various matters of fandom, questionable interrogation tactics, cell phone abuse, reckless driving, even more explicit sexuality, illegal use of firearms within city limits, polyamory, abuse of authority, hit and run driving, destruction of private property, underage drinking, disturbances of the peace, disorderly conduct, internet harassment, bearers of false witness, mayhem, dismemberment, falsification of records, tax evasion, bad study habits, and an uncomfortably sexy mother.

…and that’s just the first book.

They've all got those warnings. Even the short story collections.

Credit to the incredible @leemoyer for all my book covers, and for teaching me so much about this biz. And while he's not on the book covers, I've gotta share the other central protagonist as illustrated by the awesome @juliedillon:

...yeah, Alex gets into some shit.

If you're looking for protagonists who really communicate, if you want polyamory instead of love triangles, and if you hate when steamy scenes fade to black, I've got you covered.

If you’ve read this far and you’re interested, or even if you just want to see more content warnings, please give my stuff a look on Amazon (including Kindle Unlimited) or on Audible where they’re narrated by Tess Irondale. Give her a listen and you’d be happy to hear her read just about anything.

#books #bookcovers #good intentions #urban fantasy #polyamory #extremely thorough content warnings

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thoughtartistry · 2 months ago

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Life is magic. 🕯

#candle #spells #books #gif #autumn #nature #fall #beautiful #for you #tumblr #potions #good intentions #october #magic #fall leaves #autumn vibes #flames

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somedaylazysomeday · 5 months ago

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Good Intentions Part Twenty-Two

You cross the one line Silco warned you never to cross.

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,000

Warnings: (Attempted) realistic portrayal of a schizophrenic episode, implied threats, unprotected piv sex, creampie, intimacy

Previous | Next | Masterlist

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You should have been meeting with Silco that afternoon. It was the date of your intended appointment, but you were out walking around the marketplaces of the Lanes with a few of the Haven’s personnel. The knowledge that you had originally meant to be somewhere else only made your free day sweeter.

You didn’t know why Silco had postponed your meeting, but he had. The note he sent hadn’t required an answer, so you hadn’t had the chance to ask whether he had a reason at all.

Perhaps you would ask when you met up later in the week. Or perhaps you wouldn’t. Silco’s business was his own.

You were laughing at a terrible joke Rowan had cracked when you heard something strange. When you paused in place, the others came to a stop as well. You could tell from their expressions that they heard it, too - crying wasn’t an uncommon sound in the Undercity, but screaming hysterics were a different story.

The sound echoed off the stone walls of the surrounding area, making it difficult to track, but you managed to find the source at last: a small figure in a narrow alleyway between two buildings. You were already moving toward the figure when you came to a stop, dread curling in the pit of your belly.

It was Jinx.

“Jinx?” you called, cursing yourself when she jumped violently. It looked like the name physically hit her, and her eyes were wide and betrayed when she glanced over at you.

The look in her eyes was one you knew all too well: she was having an episode.

“Who is that?” Steel asked, trying to peer around you.

“She called her Jinx,” Arunn said, sounding confused. “Who is Jinx?”

You turned back toward them, trying to stay at an angle that would let you see them while still keeping an eye on Silco’s daughter. “I know her. She’s one of Silco’s people. She needs some time to calm down, then I need to get her back to the Last Drop.”

Rowan stiffened. “One of Silco’s people is a kid?”

“Who cares?” Duran asked. “Why are we helping Silco?”

You frowned at him. Duran was new, an ex-addict who had just made his way through the Haven’s program and wanted to stay. You weren’t sure why - he wasn’t exactly focused on helping other people.

“If we choose to ignore someone who needs help,” you asked, trying to keep from getting harsh with him, “what makes us different from Silco?”

Duran looked away, abashed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”

“It sounded like it came from a place of hurt, not hatred,” you agreed. “But I think it would be best if you all went back to the Haven. Not because I think you can’t handle it, but because having fewer people here will be less overwhelming for her. Besides, someone should tell the guards why I’m not coming back on time. This could take a while.”

“We’ll let them know,” Steel agreed, elbowing Rowan and Duran until they followed her. Arunn stayed where he was, eyes shifting from you to Jinx and back.

“You can head back to the Haven, too,” you told him. “I’ll be fine.”

Arunn still didn’t move. “I’ll stay with you. This could be some kind of Silco trap or something. And you might need help getting her back to the Last Drop later.”

You wanted to argue that, but it was a fair point. Jinx was an energetic girl, but episodes like this one could take a lot out of a person. “You’ll have to stay out of sight around the corner, and try not to make any noise.”

“I can do that,” Arunn agreed, stepping back around the corner in question. Before you went down the alley, he stopped you. “Be careful.”

“I will be,” you promised.

As you walked down the alleyway, you watched Jinx’s motions with a practiced eye. She seemed to be worse than she had been before you spoke with the Haven employees. Then, she had been loudly sobbing. But now, she was quiet - muttering to herself as she paced around the narrow space between the buildings, grimacing and occasionally hitting herself on the side of the head.

“Hey, it’s just me,” you said vaguely, trusting that she would recognize your voice. “I’m going to sit here for a little while, if that’s all right with you. ”

Jinx didn’t seem to hear you. She was still talking to herself, a series of disjointed questions and half-statements aimed at no one or someone only she could see. Her eyes tracked back and forth like she was watching someone, though you carefully looked away when she turned in your direction.

She gave a startling, barking laugh that made you jump. It didn’t sound pleasant in the slightest. Her taps to her head went from light thumps with the heel of her palm to fist-like strikes and you tensed.

By the time she had braced herself against a wall and whacked her forehead on the bricks, you were on your feet. By the second hit, you had placed your hand firmly against the wall. The force of her forehead against your palm made your hand sting.

Jinx glared at you, but you kept your expression impassive. “I don’t want to interfere, but I can’t let you hurt yourself. Okay? I’ll be sitting down over there. Join me when you can.”

As you settled back into your previous seat, Jinx scowled. Fortunately, she didn’t move to headbutt the wall again. Instead, she went back to pacing.

“Have you ever noticed that some of the old scrap pieces around the Lanes look like faces?” you asked, keeping your voice casual and conversational. Jinx didn’t react. “I think it could be creepy in the right light, but there’s something kind of cute about them. Like the lights side-by-side above Rusty’s Needles. The tattoo gun on the sign makes it look like they’re two eyes and the gun is the mouth. It makes me happy when I see it.”

Jinx still didn’t react to you, but the muttering had gone from an uninterrupted stream to occasional bursts. The quiet stretched longer between them as her pacing slowed. You kept rambling about faces and other optical illusions around the Undercity.

You were debating the pros and cons of a particular streetlight when Jinx dropped heavily to sit beside you on the ground. Her back was slumped against the wall and her eyes fell shut. In a raspy voice, she asked, “What about the windows on the warehouse on sump level 27? They look like eyes.”

It took a moment to get your momentum back, but you recovered quickly. “Yeah, they do. But the tracks from the ash make it look like they’re wearing makeup.”

“What’s wrong with makeup?” Jinx asked, eyes still closed.

“Nothing,” you assured, studying her while she wasn’t looking. “But those buildings have been here for… what? Fifty years? Seems like a big commitment for a makeup regimen.”

She didn’t give any verbal response, but the corner of her lips curled upward.

You sat in companionable silence for a while, but Jinx didn’t seem to regain any energy. Her face was paler than normal, lines of weariness bracketing her mouth. She hadn’t moved since she had sat down, her back curled against the wall behind her. When you glanced down, you watched her fingers tremble subtly.

“I think we should get you back to the Drop,” you said at last.

Jinx hummed.

“Unless you want me to get your dad and have him pick you up?”

Jinx hummed again, but this time, the sound was distinctly negative. “He’s outta town.”

You frowned. Silco had left town and hadn’t told you? That was weird. “Okay, what about Sevika?”

The snort she gave was a clear enough answer on its own, but you listened to the explanation anyway. “Sevika went with Dad. She hates me, anyway.”

You chose to ignore the last muttered addition to that. “Is there anyone at the Last Drop who can keep an eye on you? I don’t want you to be alone right now.”

“Ran.”

Despite the moments you waited, Jinx didn’t add anything further to the short explanation. Okay, so Ran must be a person.

“Let me tell my friend that he doesn’t need to wait for us, then we’ll start for the Drop.”

Jinx didn’t respond, which you assumed was a way of saying that she was fine with it.

“Arunn?” you called, only slightly louder than you and Jinx had been speaking. You were ready to call again when he peered around the corner of the building. When he saw you looking in his direction, Arunn started toward the two of you.

“Everything good?” he asked softly when he was standing in front of you.

“Yeah, I’m just going to take her back to The Last Drop,” you explained. “Can you let everyone know that I’ll be back soon?”

“They already know,” Arunn said, looking stubborn. “Besides, I’m going with you.”

“You don’t need to.” When you were on your feet, you turned to help Jinx only to find her already standing, leaning heavily against the wall. “We can make it.”

Arunn sighed. “I know you can, but people are going to see the two of you and try to take advantage. It’ll be easier if there are more of us.”

“I can still fight,” Jinx insisted, shifting to lean against you instead of the wall. Her slender frame was heavier than it looked, and her eyes were still closed.

You hummed skeptically and Arunn shook his head at you. “I’m coming along.”

“Fine,” you agreed, mostly because it would be getting dark soon and you wanted to get Jinx home before that happened. “Let’s go.”

The market where you had been browsing was between the Haven and The Last Drop, but there was still a significant distance before you got Jinx home. Silence reigned as you made your slow, steady way through the first few streets.

Jinx cracked her eyes open around the halfway point. You would be encouraged by the idea that she was recovering from her fatigue, but you were supporting more of her weight than ever. It was also concerning that she was staring intently at Arunn.

“Have I met you yet?” Jinx asked, leaning forward slightly to watch him without you between them.

“Don’t think so,” Arunn said with a shrug. “I haven’t met you.”

“Jinx,” she said offering a casual salute.

He paused for a moment and you watched to see what he would do. He wasn’t under any obligation to give his name, of course, but you weren’t sure whether he knew that. “Arunn.”

“Good to meetcha, Arunn,” Jinx told him, stumbling a bit as she turned to look where you were going instead of at him. Her knees had buckled for a moment, leaving her resting her full weight on you. Your shoulders complained - Jinx’s arm was slung up and around your neck, so they were carrying the brunt of the additional weight.

Arunn watched as you readjusted Jinx’s arm over your shoulders. He would probably have helped, but one of you needed to be ready to handle any threats that approached.

“Hey Jinx,” Arunn said abruptly. “You ever had a piggy-back ride?”

“A piggy-back ride?” Jinx repeated, perking up noticeably. “Not since I was a kid.”

You frowned at that - Jinx was all of twelve years old. She was still a kid, even if she had that world-weary look shared by all too many children in the Undercity.

Arunn didn’t seem as caught up in his own thoughts as you were. He stilled, squatting slightly and bracing himself with his arms down and out to either side. “Hop on.”

The smile on Jinx’s face made your chest ease a little. She hurried forward eagerly, hopping onto Arunn’s back with only a little unsteadiness. The two got settled quickly enough, then turned expectantly to you. With a smile of your own, you led the way toward The Last Drop.

From there, the process of returning Jinx to her home was surprisingly simple. You took her to The Last Drop and the bartender rushed off to retrieve a medium-height person with black hair. When you had confirmed with Jinx that this was Ran, you and Arunn passed her over to get some rest.

Before you left, Jinx tackled you in a hug. She did the same for Arunn, and you were warmed to see how quickly his surprise melted to pleasure as he patted her back and told her to take things slow.

The walk back to the Haven was quiet but companionable. Arunn didn’t press for details about how you knew Jinx or ask why you wanted to help her. Instead, he asked whether you had taken a look at some of the menu ideas he had put together.

Arunn had spearheaded a partnership between the Haven and Stocked, Nimi and Michah’s grocery store. He purchased the foods that didn’t sell very well on the Haven’s behalf, then worked with Micah to build recipes using the foods he had purchased. The patients loved his cooking, and Nimi adored the fact that Arunn helped them move less popular foods. Micah was always happy to cook, and especially when he could teach as dedicated a pupil as Arunn.

Things were quiet for the next few days. You had only just started to wonder when Silco would be back in the Undercity when one of the guards handed you a tersely written message.

Come to The Last Drop immediately.

You hadn’t bothered writing a reply. If you were supposed to meet with Silco immediately, you would arrive at the same time as whatever message you intended to send.

Your sense of dread was palpable as you retraced your steps to The Last Drop. It was the late hours of the morning, and the building seemed entirely empty. There was no one in the main room and you didn’t see a soul as you climbed the staircase up to Silco’s office.

A perfunctory knock on the door was replied to with a one-word answer: Enter. When you did, Silco stared at you, gaze hard. “Close the door behind you.”

You did, distantly wondering if the thundering of your pulse would be visible in your neck when you turned around.

“Tell me exactly what you were thinking.”

You took a deep breath at the menace in Silco’s voice as he issued the order. Still, you had been thinking about this since the incident with Jinx, and your half-prepared speech tumbled from your lips in a rush of words.

You explained that you had found Jinx in the alleyway and had stayed there as she calmed down. You told him how you had offered to get him, but Jinx told you that he was out of town. You finished with how Ran had led Jinx upstairs as you and Arunn had left.

“Did I not tell you to stay away from Jinx?”

Silco’s whip-like voice made you flinch, but you recovered quickly. “I don’t see how I could have done anything different, Silco. There are people who would take advantage of a young girl having a crisis, even somewhere as public as the markets-”

“Zaunites know better than most how to take care of themselves,” Silco dismissed, tucking his hands behind his back as he paced around the office. “You are letting your outside experiences color the way you treat people here.”

“Rape and assault can happen anywhere,” you shot back, watching as Silco straightened, his expression darkening rapidly. “And they happen in Zaun far more often than anywhere else I’ve lived. If you think I was going to leave Jinx alone while she calmed down, you don’t know me very well.”

“What did I tell you would happen if you spoke with her again?”

You shook your head slowly. “That conversation was a long time ago. Probably that you would kill me.”

“And did you remember that when you disobeyed my orders?” It was almost worse that Silco’s voice had softened into something quiet and gentle. It made you feel like he was going to pounce on you, especially since he was steadily working his way closer to you.

“I did,” you confirmed, half-wondering if you should have lied. “It didn’t change my decision on how to proceed and I wouldn’t change anything now.”

Silco nodded thoughtfully. “Follow me.”

You sighed inaudibly when he turned. If this was how you were going to die, so be it. You had no regrets.

He led you through the doorway in the corner. You were already frowning in confusion when you stepped into his bedroom, but it faded as Silco kissed you.

It was hungry and desperate and not at all what you would expect from a man who was going to murder you in the next few minutes. There was a fumbling at your back as Silco reached behind you to close the door. As soon as that was done, he started working at your clothing.

You were pliant in his arms, distracted by a combination of his tongue in your mouth and your own surprise at still being alive. The instant you were fully bare, Silco started maneuvering you toward his bed.

When you got there, collapsing backward onto the soft springiness of his mattress, Silco’s hands moved to the fastenings of his own clothing. He stripped himself as quickly as he could, joining you on the bed before the last stitch hit the floor.

He held himself up and over you, leaning down to continue claiming your mouth. You couldn’t keep yourself from relaxing into it, but you didn’t try very hard. There was something… different about the way he was touching you, something almost reverent.

As your lips worked together, tongues exploring each other, Silco dropped his lower body further and further toward you. When his length was pressed against the cradle of your hips, you both gave a groan. He was hard against you, and your folds were slippery with your own desire.

There was no resistance at all when he plunged his cock into you. Your body accepted him willingly - even eagerly - and you moaned again at the feeling of him stretching and filling you.

He surged forward until he was buried inside of you, then paused. You were locked together so closely that you couldn’t tell which body’s pulsing you felt, but it pounded through the entirety of your body. Silco’s natural eye was heavy-lidded, almost closed, but he still watched you with satisfaction written across his face.

“That’s it, pet,” he said warmly. “Let me in. I’ll bring you pleasure you never dreamed of.”

It seemed like an odd request considering that you had been meeting up for almost a year, but you weren’t in the mood to start arguing the particulars with him. Instead, you wrapped your legs around him, urging him to press harder against you.

Apparently, that was enough of an answer, because Silco started to rock slowly into you. He never left you entirely - he couldn’t, with the way your legs were tight around his flexing hips - but it didn’t matter. He moved as far as he could, choosing the perfect pace to keep you gasping and clenching around him.

One of his hands was braced beside your head, holding him poised above you as he thrust into you with that steady rhythm. The other hand was busily exploring you.

He wasn’t focused on your breasts and clit the way he normally was. Instead, Silco’s hand worked over your body, sweeping down your arms and cradling the curve of your hip. He stroked over the globe of your ass and continued down your leg, catching for a moment in the sensitive space behind the bend of your knee.

You might have ignored it as a new form of torture, but Silco’s gaze stayed fixed on you the entire time. His eyes were zeroed in on your face, watching and weighing the impact of each touch. When he had finished his first exploration, he did it all again, concentrating that time on all of the places that had made you breathe a little heavier for him.

And all the while, his body kept that steady surging into and out of yours.

Sex between you and Silco was often a frantic, hurried experience. Either you didn’t have time to share anything slow and reverent, or you didn’t have the desire to. You were low on time or one of you was angry or any one of a dozen reasons that you didn’t opt for anything slow and careful.

To put it simply, if a little crassly, you and Silco fucked.

This was different. You weren’t fucking. This wasn’t even simple sex. If anything, it was making love - a phrase you had always found both embarrassing and awkward. But it fit this. The slow thrusts, the gentle touches, the way his eyes had yet to move from your face…

Perhaps the most surprising part of all was that you didn’t mind it.

Silco was murmuring in your ear, delivering small compliments and encouragements almost as often as he delivered strokes of his body in yours. All of it was interspersed with gentle kisses, and you looked forward to them just as much as you did everything else. You started leaning up to accept those kisses, too eager to wait for him to close the distance between you.

Despite the dramatic change in pace from how things usually went between you, you found your orgasm drawing ever-closer. Silco continued to deliver his gentle, measured thrusts even as your hands unwound from the sheets to grip the warm skin behind his shoulders. Your inner muscles tightened, your back arching slightly against the surface of the bed.

“Silco,” you said with half a gasp. “I’m close.”

He hummed, a hint of a smile curving his lips. “Good. Come for me, darling.”

The warm entreaty left you helpless, spasming around him as your body shook and flexed against the onslaught of pleasure. Your fingers tightened against the muscles of his back, trying desperately to ground yourself with him. It didn’t work - the slow and steady pushes of his body into yours kept your orgasm feeding out slowly until you could hardly remember a time before the overwhelming sensations. Silco watched raptly the entire time.

You hit a point when your body stopped being able to react, like the pleasure had finally overtaken you to the point when your nerves were numbed to the hormones flooding your system.

Your body had started to calm, pulsing slowly around Silco’s as you came down from your peak. Silco cursed, pushing quickly into you. It was the first time he had broken that careful rhythm, and your eyes opened to watch as Silco’s pleasure overcame him.

His natural eye fluttered closed, the Shimmer-infused one meeting your gaze intently. Silco’s lips parted slightly as he gasped and pushed as far into you as he could. His cock twitched and pulsed inside of you, warmth spreading from where he was nestled in your core.

He collapsed on top of you, burying his face in your neck as he kept himself firmly against you. It wouldn’t last - he would soften enough to slip free of you without intervention from either of you, but you knew that he liked to enjoy the closeness when he could.

“Thank you,” he said softly, voice almost inaudible with the way he was speaking against your skin.

“Mmm?” It was all you could muster, but you hoped it got your point across.

“For taking care of my daughter.”

You hummed again, entwining yourself more thoroughly in his arms. Perhaps it been your imagination, but it had almost seemed like he was going to say ‘our daughter’.

---

Author's Note - I know we've seen less of Jinx than most of you were guessing we would, but Silco seems like the type to keep all aspects of his life separate from each other if possible. I hope this makes up for it!

Also, I don't claim to know much about psychotic episodes, so I did a lot of research. I based reader's response on this one in particular, an article from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) about how to support a loved one who suffers with psychotic episodes. If there's anything glaringly inaccurate or offensive about this portrayal, please reach out and let me know so I can fix it!

Finally, thank you for reading! As a reminder, I do not offer a taglist for explicit works, but you can find everything I've written on my masterlist or on AO3, where I write under username InkSplots. I'll see you soon with another chapter!

#good intentions #good intentions fic #arcane netflix #arcane fanfiction #arcane reader insert #silco #arcane silco #silco x reader #silco x you #reader insert #reader insert fanfiction #reader insert fic #lemon #spicy #not suitable for minors #minors dni

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