#imagine them farting on you
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cutemilitarystuff · 7 months ago
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let me serve your ass and farts.
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militarymenfarting · 7 months ago
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They were on a mission on enemy soil. Jeremy accidentally fucked up the tank and soon, he and Seth were stranded in the desert heat completely visible to any enemy awaiting to attack."Fuck you faggot! You don't know how to drive a tank?!" Seth scolded. Jeremy was a bit taken aback by the faggot comment... he never came out as gay to his fellow soldiers. "I... I'm sorry... I was dozing off... I shouldn't have gotten us stuck." Jeremy apologized. "You wanna be forgiven faggot?! Fuck, keep your face in my ass... all we need is for all this gas I'm holding in to spread into the desert and alert the others that we're out here... fuck... you probably just got us killed." Seth propped his legs on the dashboard and spread his legs. Jeremy took a deep breath as he pressed his face right up against Seth's crotch. "It stinks down there don't it? "Seth whispered. "Yes it does" Jeremy inhaled and sniffed to his hearts content. BBBRRRMMPPH!"Haha, fuckin hell, sniff THAT up." Seth reached down to press his partner's face tighter against his ass. Jeremy's eyes began to water as the gas burned his throat and lungs. He had never smelled gas so foul in his life."Ugh! What did you eat?!" Jeremy whined. "None of your fucking business...I said sniff." Seth was going to blast Jeremy's face with farts until Jeremy passed out. FFFBBBBBRT! "How much gas do you have?" Jeremy coughed. "Quiet... they'll hear you... in fact I should probably make these quieter..."Seth tensed up and the air rushed silently out of his ass and into Jeremy's face. "Fuck Seth... you smell like you fucking shit your pants." Jeremy cried into Seth's crotch. BBRRMBT! "I probably could... I probably did... this fucking desert heat is tearing my stomach the fuck up..." Seth was rather distant. He had no reason for conversation. The only thing Jeremy was going to do was keep his face between Seth's legs, and pray that the next fart would knock him out cold for a while. Minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into days. Seth had yet to run out of gas. Jeremy was still pressed tightly against Seth's crotch and his tears welling in his eyes from the rancid stench that he was absorbing into Seth's crotch, only making his farts smell worse. BBBRRRRPPPPPPMMMMMMPPHHH!!!"Oh god! Please Seth! It stinks so bad!" Jeremy whimpered between Seth's legs."Just sniff it faggot. Smell my fucking wrath. Oh wait, hold on, oh oh OH!,” Seth squeezed his thighs together, trapping Jeremy's head into his crotch and squeezing as tight as possible. The next fart absolutely destroyed Jeremy, and relieved Seth. BBBBRRRRRRRBBBBBMMMPPPHHRT! "OH yeah..." Seth felt so much relief after that blast. Jeremy's cock had started oozing cum. His face continually blasted by more stinky gas from Seth, he passed out in the heat of the desert, hoping they'd be rescued soon. Jeremy awoke in a hospital bed on the other end of the battlefield. He was being treated for dehydration. Seth was sitting right next to him. When Seth saw Jeremy had awoke... he stood up, and walked towards his comrade."Well well well, if it isn't the fart boy..." Seth stared blankly. "What... what do you want?! How can I settle this?!" Jeremy was scared. Seth hopped up onto Jeremy's bed and sat right on his cock, and ripped one. FFFFRRRRBBBBBBRRRMMMMPH!!! Jeremy's eyes rolled to the back of his head as in seconds, Seth's latest fart made him cum his pants again. Logan smirked from Jeremy's reaction. "Dehydration. I'd like to think my hot steamy gas dried you the fuck out. Don't worry... I got more in the tank. Plenty more. An infinite supply."More... farts?!" Jeremy shook a bit. FFFRRRPPPPFFFF! "Oh yeah... and since your fucking cock tents up every time I bust ass, that just proves what a fucking fart fag you really are... and unless you want me to tell the boys, you best get that sniffer of yours ready whenever I gotta fart to fucking blast... got it, boy?" Jeremy looked into Seth's eyes and nodded... it was going to be a pretty stinky eight more months.
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fartonmeboys · 7 months ago
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Thank you for your service and sacrifice, now let me serve your hot ass and farts.
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azurecoffin · 7 months ago
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if you are taking requests and want to draw some small time x-men, i'd like to see a surge, please. if you aren't, dont worry
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Casual Surge!
anon I binged new mutants volume 2/young x-men last month don't worry she was actually on my list!
requests are open! just be warned i'm like so slow
Prev: Boom-Boom Trinary M Armor Pixie
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g8dess · 7 months ago
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Farting around your f/o
Yes, hello, it's time for another unhinged imagine.
But the absolute trust and feeling at ease one must do to fart around another. The jokes that come forth out of them. The calling each other stinky. The sittung on another and farting on their lap just for the fun of it. Just you being the silliest little creatures on the planet.
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As a loooong time fan of Drawfee and a new Dropout enthusiast, I have a primal little need to see todays Drawfee crew in todays Dropout stuff
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itsalwaysdark · 2 months ago
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are there ppl who dont like the opening to tp..... okay ummmm anyways
#i love that the opening is slow i think its a rly great way to show links like. hes just some guy fr like yes hes like the chosen hero or#wever but he is like. some guy and i think its rly effective to get to wander around his little village and see how close he is with#everybody in the village and esp the kids#its more impactful that way when hes like. Pulled into his quest and all of this . like tp spoilers i guess LOL but the kids getting taken#wouldnt be as impactful if link like. didnt interact at all#like if you wake up go outside and then boom the kids r gone thats lame#i think its a fun way to have it be like. hes going on this quest To save the kids number one and it just kinda escalates from there and he#ends up doing all that but likeee. my fav thing abt tp link is how homey he is and how like. His quest rly starts BC the kids are taken and#bc he needs 2 save those kids. at least thats how i see him#so i absolutelyyyy imagine him being rly homesick for the entire thing + i think that makes it fun w him travelling w midna bc i imagine#them both as being very homesick. but both of their homes arent Right atm like yk i think its a fun parallel#and i think its served rly well by the opening. and also i just LOVE ordon village even if i step outside of my kindergarten level media#interpretation like i love that village its so cute to me the music i so calming to me i loooooooooove ordon village ok. even if it did#serve no narrative purpose to have link farting around his hometown for a while at the beginning i would still want it there bc IIIII love#ordon village. ^_^
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leatherbookmark · 1 year ago
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wheeeeere did this idea that slurping is a way to show that you enjoy the food come from... especially in the context of japan? what
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cutemilitarystuff · 7 months ago
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Hot pin, hot way to hold someone down with your legs and rip farts in his face from both sides, (more from the guy farthest from the camera - his ass is more aligned over the victims face) 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵
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militarymenfarting · 7 months ago
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I’d be screwed with him just sitting on my dick. He would totally feel it the second he sat down
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neofelis----nebulosa · 11 months ago
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watched the second full scene released from kfp 4 and it is significantly lowering my expectations
#like ok another fart joke#one thing i liked about the first 3 is they mostly stray away from low brow humor like that#but then theres one in most of the trailers theyve been putting out#but with that while i dont love it ik that theyve kinda made trailers that make the movie look much more immature than it actually is for..#...all the previous ones#theyre great movies but you wouldnt know from the trailers#theyre marketing the movies to elementary schoolers#which granted is the target audience so its smart from a business perspective but the movies have a lot more to them#and also from the clips we see even tho i dont love the joke theres more to it than haha fart funny#unlike the one from this scene#but yeah all that aside the scene just goes on too long#like the concept of po meditating but it not working could have been funny but its so dragged out#and idk not a fan of how they depicted his inner voices#its just kinda uncreative i feel like they could have gone in a more interesting visual direction with it#i feel like the previous 3 movies were really good at that sort of thing#and im kinda worried that the visual creativity that i love so much about the series wont really be here#like they always seem to come up with interesting visual styles to show things happening within characters imaginations to differentiate...#...it from reality#but here its in the same textured 3d animation style that the rest of the movie is in#but yeah i actually really liked the first scene they released of po meeting zhen#so yeah overall i have super mixed feelings about this movie given what dreamworks has been showing us#i really want it to be good#i havent completely given up on it but theres just a lot of questionable choices being made
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fox-guardian · 1 month ago
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[ID: A nine-page digital comic featuring Jimmy and Curly from Mouthwashing. They're out of uniform, wearing casual clothes. The comic is done in sepia tones, with the only colors being the blue of Curly's eyes and the green of Jimmy's speech bubbles. There are also four featureless people representing their other friends.
The group of friends are gathered while Jimmy sits away from them.
Friend 1: He doesn't like sweets.... Friend 2: So what should we do for a cake then? Jimmy, attempting to light a cigarette: Why don't we just make it out of his fuckin' whey protein powder? You know Curly just LOVES that chalky crap. Friends pause, staring at him, before getting excited: (all caps) That's a great idea, Jimmy!
Jimmy then chokes on his cigarette and looks around at them all, momentarily shocked.
Friends: That's so smart! It'll be SO funny! He'll LOVE that! Jimmy, holding his limp cigarette and smiling smugly: heheh. guess I am pretty clever.
There is then a montage of him baking the cake with the whey powder, including him absently dropping cigarette ash into the batter with an "oops". Then they all wait in the dark, party decorations up with a shadow cast under the room's door.
Friends: Shh!! He's coming! Jimmy: (all caps) Shut the fuck up!! Curly, opening the door: Hullo? Friends: SURPRISE!
Curly flinches and yelps before he takes in the scene and smiles. Jimmy is holding the warped cake and smiling and everyone is wearing party hats and laughing.
Friends: Happy birthday Curly!
Two of them go up to Curly, putting a hat on him and patting his back.
Friend: Hope you like the cake!
Curly goes to cut the cake with everyone watching. He is smiling, while Jimmy stands next to him, staring blankly. As soon as the knife hits, the cake collapses in a poof of powder with a long fart noise. Curly's eyes bulge and Jimmy's eyes widen before they both burst out laughing, Curly pushing the cake away as he leans over the table, wheezing, while Jimmy throws his head back to cackle.
Curly, looking up at him: (all caps) What kind of cake is this?! Jimmy, holding up an "ok" hand: Choco-caramel whey, budd-o.
Curly wheezes, tears in his eyes. He then passes out cake and speaks indistinctly before sitting down.
Curly, smiling at Jimmy: -- sounds pretty brilliant, yeah?
Jimmy looks at him sideways, anticipating, as Curly raises his fork to his mouth. He keeps leaning closer as a shadow forms over his face. Curly takes a bite, smiling. Pauses for a moment. And then releases a huge cloud of whey powder, at which Jimmy starts cackling again.
end ID]
~~~~
every time i think about that cursed whey powder cake from curly's fondest memories, i just imagine a re-enactment of the cinnamon challenge but with whey protein powder.
so here's a NINE PAGE COMIC leading up to that <3
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emmyrosee · 8 months ago
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Imagine having a kid with Sukuna and him urging you to have a day out after giving birth and taking care of the baby so you can have a fun stress free day with friends, and then him having a daddy daughter date. I thought it’s cute 🥰
oh… oh you KNOW HOW I FEEEEEEEEL ABOUT A DAD!AU (bro this got so long im sO SORRY-)
———
“Okay, there’s three bottles of milk in the fridge.”
“Okay.”
“And her melts are in the cabinet!”
“I know, I live here too.”
“Oh! And her stuffed lamb is her favorite to nap with-“
“Babe,” Sukuna laughs, wrapping an arm around you. In his other arm, Akiara is held securely, with an arm under her thighs to keep her perched against his chest, the pacifier in her mouth bouncing as she rattles a small toy in her hands. “I got this. It’ll be fine.”
“Okay, but if you need me, call me.”
“I’m not going to call you. Go have fun,” he encourages. Deep down, he knows you’re terrified to leave the baby with anyone for more than 15 minutes, always keeping her in close proximity and within earshot. The farthest you’ve gone is to shower while Sukuna indulges with tummy time, and it seems that every time, you’re surprised the house hasn’t crumbled in the brief period.
But Akiara is five months now. And your friends begged you to come shopping with them, missing you from outings with the group. Sukuna knows you trust him implicitly, but your separation anxiety is physically felt in the air this point. He pulls you in for a hug and presses a kiss to the crown of your head, “go. If the house catches on fire, I’ll call you. Otherwise, I can handle a few hours with my own spawn.” You tense slightly, and he offers you a stern look, “do you trust me?”
“Of course I do, but-“
“Then let me take care of everything. Go.”
You offer him a shaky sigh and make your way over to Akiara in his arms, “mommy loves you so much, okay?” You whisper. She babbles and grabs your hair, and Sukuna can see the nervous tears welling up. “I’ll be home in two hours tops.”
“Don’t time yourself,” he chuckles. “Go with your girlfriends. I gave you the credit card, go buy some clothes, or a necklace, or those expensive ass pastries you love so much.” Then, he nods his head towards the door, “scram. Before you cry your mascara off.”
“Okay,” you sigh. “Okay-“ you blow them both a few kisses as you slowly make your way to the door, “I love you both so much. Behave. Oh, and nap time is at 1:30-“
“Babe. Go,” he snickers. He watches as you open the door and walk backwards out, your eyes focused on the two of them until the door shuts fully, keeping you outside and them on the inside. Sukuna sighs in relief and he adjusts Akiara to be held arms length, “you, stinky girl, need a bath,” he hums, and when the little girl coos, he brings her tiny body up to his mouth to playfully bite her chubby belly, hiccupy laughter filling the air briefly before he pulls a face of disgust and holds her back out. “Yeah. You stink. Like a lot.”
Sukuna wastes no time in setting up her bathtub and cleansing the tiny child with her soaps, letting her splash the warm water for some time until she reaches up for him. He barely gets her out of the tub and into a towel before his phone buzzes wildly. He sighs and answers it, “do I have to block your number?”
“No!” You whine. “I just wanted to see how things were going. I just got to the restaurant, wanted to make sure everything was okay before I ate.”
“Well the dog got out, I broke a vase and our kid went to college, so not great,” he says flatly, and when you huff in annoyance, and smirks, “everything is fine. She just had a bath, I’m trying to dry her off, and then we’re going to watch some of those dancing fruits she likes so much. Goodbye.”
“Wait- you bathed her before you fed her?” You ask.
He pulls his mouth into a straight line, “yes. Because she smelt like shit fart-“
“Sukuna!” You snap.
“If I have to bathe her again, I will. It’s not the end of the world,” he tries to soothe. When you click your tongue he chuckles again. “Okay. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye,” you say, ending the phone call. He pockets the device and looks down at his child. “Shes your mother alright,” he says. His daughter merely babbles and chews on her fingers. He gets her settled into a clean diaper before hoisting her back and onto his hip, making his way to the living room, resting her on his massive stomach and clicking on the TV for some entertainment. There’s a baseball game on, surely you won’t mind if he indulges while his baby lays on his chest.
The colors are good stimulation.
“Who you got money on?” He asks Akiara, who blinks eyes like yours up at him. When she smiles a gummy smile, he shrugs, “I don’t know. They’ve got a really good pitcher.” His thick fingers gently stroke up and down her spine, so gently and warm that he feels Akiara’s breathing slowly even out, his little girl falling asleep on his chest. He winces, he knows you’re not going to be thrilled about an early nap time, but who the hell is he to wake a sleeping baby?
A sleeping baby who sleeps for hours. You’re going to be pissed at him.
By the time the game is over, Akiara is still fast asleep on his chest, tiny hands balled into fists as her long lashes lay on her cheeks. Sukuna’s gotta give you credit, you haven’t called or texted since her bath, and now it’s well into four hours since you’ve left and you’re still out with your friends. He’s proud of you.
He’s not sure how long in total Akiara was sleeping for, but not long after the game, she slowly twitches awake, eyes fluttering open before fixating on him. He watches fondly as her body slowly wakes up, starting with her sleepy eyes that blink open, followed by her mouth which opens to let out the smallest yawn.
“Good morning, sleepy girl,” he hums, gently cradling the back of her head. “Was that a good nap?” Akiara merely thunks her head back against his chest in response. He kisses her head softly before standing up, shuffling to the kitchen to grab one of the prepared bottles from the fridge. He pops it in her mouth, where her tiny fists assist him in holding it. The child drinks the milk happily, wide eyes blinking as she downs the beverage hungrily. He smirks, “definitely my kid.”
With that, you come home.
He can tell by the jingling of keys you’re trying to hurry in as fast as possible, and he snickers at your struggle. Once the door finally creaks open, you haul your bags into the home and kick the door shut, smiling as your eyes land on your little family. “Hey you.”
“What’s up?” He hums, kissing you as you get close. “How was it?”
“It was great!” You squeal, and he can’t fight the way his heart squeezes at your excitement. “I got some new dresses, a pair of heels, some perfumes- oh, and I got you a cologne-“
“That’s my girl,” he says, but he can tell your attention is focused on the small girl he’s currently burping, and he shrugs, “you want to take over?”
When you nod sheepishly, he gently passes Akiara over to you, and you coo down at her, “hi, Mumma’s girl,” you coo, and she burps loudly in your face. “Well excuse you!”
Sukuna can’t fight the laughter that barks from his throat, snickers tearing through until you’re smiling and shaking your head, and he pulls you in for another hug.
He loves that his small family fits in his arms.
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astrow1zar6 · 2 months ago
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Sun + Moon Hot takes- part 3
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Sag sun Aries moon: this combo seems loud asf lol. No seriously though you definitely are one of the loudest people in the room normally. This gives big class clown energy. This gives those kids in class that always did the most to make everyone laugh and sometimes it’d work well but other times it can be obnoxious. Also if not balanced with any earth placements I can see these people being extremely impulsive and immature you tend to jump into things fast and get burned along the lines. But because of your impulsive nature you have a lot of fun stories to tell others and also tend to have a lot more fun than most in general because of how spontaneous you are. This is a combo that is always doing something wild. Usually big extroverts that love meeting new people and seeing new places. Doesn’t like to be in one place too long. Lives life in the fast lane. They usually live life in a very rockstar kinda way (drugs, sex, rock and roll) vibe. Which is something I admire a lot on how they make life look so fun. Usually go by the motto “I’d rather die young than live a long boring life”.
Libra Sun Virgo moon: giving princess energy. I can imagine these people to be very feminine (even the men). These are probably the most well kept people when it comes to hygiene. They usually always look put together and are normally really pretty people. This puts a more introverted twist to the regular social lite Libra sun energy. Usually big perfectionists and can get anxiety when they don’t look their best or are giving the best impressions on others. These people’s anxiety can be CRIPPLING. Your anxiety is your Achilles heel. You tend to worry about anything & everything. Your anxiousness can make you come off as almost “too perfect “ to others. You may come off as the type of person that people get shocked that you fart kinda thing lol. Although you prefer to come off this way it’s okay to be imperfect sometimes. You should learn to find more humor in flaws instead of taking them like it’s the end of the world. People will still like you even if you aren’t perfect 🫶🏽
Aquarius sun Leo moon: this combo is so cool to me. The people I’ve met with this combo are one of the funniest people ever. I’m usually not a fan of Leo moons but with an Aquarius sun I feel it balances the melodramatic attitude of Leo making them more cool like. They are really creative and usually can make a lot of $$ with anything social media related (highly recommended to get into YouTube, tik tok, podcasts) these people are so entertaining so normally they can get a big following. However many can have a difficult time forming relationships because they are very demanding and distant at times. Probably the most authentic person you’ve ever met. Their authenticity and rebellious streak is usually their golden ticket into getting such big followings and being so popular. These people are the definition of “idgaf” it’s so admirable.
Leo sun Capricorn moon: probably one of the most serious Leo combinations. I notice this combo is more anxious to shine than normal Leo suns. These people can surprisingly get embarrassed pretty easily. DO NOT clown these people or pick on them jokingly they will really crash out lmao. They hate when their character is diminished in any type of way. This gives big CEO energy, these people were the bosses of their family and friend groups. When they are immature this energy can cause a lot of issues in their relationships because of how bossy they can be. They can get carried away with controlling what people do and how they act which can be overwhelming for others. Allow others to be themselves you don’t have to control everything I know you like things to be a certain way but the world doesn’t go when you go. These people usually make really good managers and bosses. Are able to control any organization or business they have flawlessly with little effort.
Gemini sun Leo moon: I apologize in advance to anyone with this combo but this gives ANNOYING😭 I can tell these were those bad ass kids growing up with the silver caps in their mouths (iykyk 🤣). Theres a very child like energy to this combo that can either come off as very sweet and refreshing or these people are little devils lmao. This gives Micheal Scott energy from the office. I can see these people being so fun in non serious activities such as partying and drinking and karaoke night but things like working with them can be like babysitting. This is probably the employee that pisses you off all the time but is lit asf to bring out to do fun stuff. I can imagine these people to be really good humored as well, could’ve also been a class clown or hung around a popular crowd. Usually is pretty loud about their opinions and can have a very dramatic flair with the way they talk. Usually are very animated which can be very entertaining to those around them. This people can make great entertainers and talk show hosts. Are AMAZING story tellers even if you can tell if some of what they say is exaggerated it’s still so interesting to hear.
Pisces sun Sag moon: this is a very interesting combo, both Jupiter ruled but with such opposite energies. This gives a light heartedness to the normally deep spiritual neptunian. These people also have a crazy good intuition. This can make some pretty intelligent people (Albert Einstein has this combo) their mind tends to be very theoretical, spiritual and philosophical. However with all this mutable energy it can be hard for them to organize their thoughts properly you have a tendency to drift from reality when things get too much. Definitely a big picture person over details, too much details can stress you out a lot. If you learn how to implement all your fresh ideas you can earn a lot of $$ in your lifetime ! I’ve also seen it can be very difficult for these people to process their emotions. Neptune has a tendency of blurring emotions along with the sags tendency to avoid them it can cause them to act irrationally at times. When their feelings aren’t in check they can completely fuck themselves over with little consciousness of them doing it. When under pressure they can be really impulsive and naive. Can have a very out of the box sense of humor as well.
Taurus sun Scorpio Moon: talk about stubborn. No seriously it’ll take the hands of god himself to make these people move or change ways. They don’t budge until they want to (which usually takes awhile or never happens) they usually take a really long time to trust someone but once they do you’re theirs for life. They can be really possessive of the people they love and can struggle with jealousy if their person is close to others (even family at times if they are really insecure). They tend to come off as very chill and laid back but they’re usually hiding a strong intensity behind that down to earth personality. They have a tendency of suffocating those around them because of their fear of abandonment. I see people with this combo have a big thing with abandonment. They tend to fall for people that feel like home and allow them to be comfortable being themselves (cuz they struggle with this normally). Overall though very loyal and sensual people they will go to the moon and back for you if they love you.
Pisces sun Aquarius moon: these people are the real life ETs of the zodiac sun moon combos. Really though they vibe at such a different wavelength than the rest of the world. One word use to describe these people are “Woke”. Its was estimated that Jesus Christ actually had this sun/moon combination. (Surprise for all the people that thought Jesus was born in December). They have this deep inner desire usually to help humanity in some way, usually by using spiritual means. These people can excel in pursuits like reiki healing, crystal work, yoga/meditation instructor, music therapist, priest ect. Works good with healing the subconscious of others. Growing up however they could’ve been outcasted a lot for being “weird” or “off putting”. This rejection allowed them to grow such a strong wisdom when it comes to human nature. When they grow to be confident in their unique natures they are really able to heal themselves and those around them.
Pisces sun Pisces moon: one word DELUSIONAL😭 these people are never really in the now they are elsewhere in their minds floating off you can just see it in their face lol. This isn’t the most ambitious of combos and can usually sabotage a lot of good career opportunities by procrastinating and escaping their responsibilities. If not balanced with any earth placements you should learn techniques on grounding! If not you can neglect a lot of your responsibilities. Breath work practice and meditation usually help these people (anything spiritual really). Because of their imaginative tendencies they can be amazing artists and musicians (they especially love music). Big romantics at heart and is main goal in life is to find their soulmate, can sabotage their goals for love a lot. Usually ends up attracting toxic people sadly but this is usually a muse for their art.
i apologize for taking so long to make a part three. I did not forget your requests 🫶🏽♥️
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applepixls · 2 months ago
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please join me in imagining:
a sitcom starring the 4 Gs with their creaking neighbour as a frequent visitor and everyone else as side characters we see a lot. and they have super powers.
just imagine, cleo is a necromancer who on the daily has to deal with her sassy zombies and hide them to avoid dealing with the issues of them being undead (fitting 2 extra people in their already cramped flat, taxes, insurance,,, grown up things.) scott is supposed to be super powered but all he does is turn into random barn yard animals impulse can teleport but its not its all cracked up to be (once he sneezed and got accused of robbing a bank) pearl just has a tendency to do dolphin elytra hopping in the living room cause she never has enough room in their cramped flat. ft. their silly neighbour bigb (appears about as much as the landlord in one day at a time if you're familiar.) shows up for family breakfasts and dinners, helps fix things and brings his silly little creaky guys as enrichment for scott when he wants to be something other than a chicken
their neighbours include: 3 college aged guys (who mostly put up with each other and start gradually liking each other better as the show goes on.) who live in the flat below them, one sleeps at any time of day and tends to slow time down to be funny, one runs really fast and freezes water he steps on and the third bounces high with glorified farts and owns a really fancy meat tenderizer. (and is cousins with their other neighbours including a violent ginger girl, a guy obsessed with fast and furious and a guy who seems to be stuck as a 1910s carnival barker-) their 3 upstairs neighbours who more or less keep to themselves and have pet birds, one of them has been asking the landlord if they can build a rooftop rollercoaster (in lieu of a garden) and can.. sit on stuff.. and punches really hard and you ouch if you punch him, another one celebrates every day he lives and is able to go invisible. the third struggles to keep the other two alive and is able to blind others in a vicinity and briefly vanish making her effectively an enhanced cuttlefish. (she is married to their downstairs neighbour and therefore spends as much time as possible in their flat instead of her own. wise choice) then there's the 2 neighbours who are really into roleplay? one of them is nosy and peeps through peep holes cause he can hear everything he sees, the other one borrows peoples identities (no harm done tho mostly just to raid his neighbours fridges without getting yelled at by their roommates) the snooper accidentally trash compactors himself trying to escape the carnival barker and the identity thief is now looking to move in with someone- finally, the main 4's mortal enemies, a guy with a fancy car who can jump on air and a girl who frequently has out of body experiences in which she can talk to the dead. they've recently adopted a silly guy with a waffle who does all of the above but only one at a time on a 6 hour or so time frame. he recently lost his roommates (both in trash compactor incidents, tragic really. one got too close and got eaten the other was leaning out the window trying to see where it was and fell out. self defenestration. rumour has it it was actually one of his buddies but that guy's innocent until proven guilty. these two are ironically now cleo's goons) and couldn't pay the rent himself so he's had to move in with the torettos
i would watch it
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 5 months ago
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Even if the sky was falling
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Part II
warning: fighting, blood, sexual tension if you squint, fire and angst… 😈
request: had this thought about azriel xteacher!reader fem or gn if you prefer and reader teaches nyx so the IC interacts with the reader a lot and all love her and think she’d be perfect with az but he’s too much of a wimp to make it official but they are still flirty. basically fate makes him man up when nyx’s class is attacked and reader is trying to protect him and then az saves the day.
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Nyx, as much as he was brave and outgoing with his family, turned into the shell of himself when exposed to people he didn’t know. And while he loved to learn and genuinely was a curious kid, school hadn’t come easy for him. “We would be nowhere close to where we are now if not for Y/n”, Feyre mused once the conversation had once again slipped to Nyx over dinner. “She puts lots of care into looking after him”, Rhys nodded along, “He loves her too”. That had of course peaked Azriel’s curiosity. He didn’t sense danger but you could never trust anyone, especially a stranger, fully. And this was his family he was talking about. One he had sworn to protect.
That’s how the spymaster had found himself slowly walking towards the school. There had still been hours till pick-up time, but he wanted to see you in action. Working that magic of yours and magic he had seen. It had been a beautiful day in Velaris, the sun high in the sky, warm breeze rattling the leaves. The laughter was impossible to miss. It was infectious. Bumping off every surface. In the middle of it stood you, surrounded by ecstatic faces as they swarmed you. Like little bees trying to land on the prettiest of flowers.
Azriel still struggled with the concept of care and love. His imagination was wild but he could never imagine a happy childhood. A warm and safe home. He had that now, yes, but to have that from birth? To be loved from the first breath you take. That was foreign to him. So he stood there watching how you spun around in a circle. Clapping your hands to the nursery rimes the kids were belting out. And your smile had made Azriel smile too. Slightly. Ever so slightly making him smile.
“Uncle Az”, Nyx's excited voice had caught up with Azriel when he had finally crossed the schoolyard. With no effort the spymaster had caught the boy with one hand, lifting him onto his shoulder. “Have you been good today, bud”, Azriel patted him on the stomach, making Nyx nod eagerly, “I was, I was really good, right Mrs. Y/n”, his eager purple eyes trailed back to you and Azriel felt as if a goddess was now in front of him. You had been pretty from afar, but up close….
“I don’t know them broccolis, didn’t make it to your mouth did they?”, you raised your eyebrows, crossing your arms over your chest. “You didn’t eat your broccoli?” Azriel looked back at his nephew who was sending silent daggers your way. “They smell like Uncle Cassian’s farts”, the boy whined. The silence felt for a moment as Azriel turned to glance at you, for some reason feeling the need to apologize for Nyx’s words only to catch a big smile. And within the heartbeat, both of you had burst out laughing. “Go get yourself a bun, you little devil”, Azriel shook his head, letting the boy down.
The promise of a sweet bun had delighted him but Nux still turned to you first. Running to hug your knees as he glanced up at you. “Till tomorrow, Y/n”, he mused, that Rhys’s smile on his face now. “You say hi to your parents from me”, your fingers threaded through his hair. “Can’t wait to see you tomorrow”, you mussed, bending down to cup his cheek before kissing the top of his head, watching as he ran off towards the stand, Azriel’s shadows twirling alongside him.
“So, the day has come”, you mussed attention now fixed on the Illyrian in front of you. “I have no idea what you are talking about Mrs. Y/n”, Azriel's firm tone found you. “I saw you in the field, the tree was big but you were bigger”, You narrowed your eyes at him. And he thought he was smooth out there. “You sure know how to flatter a male”, Azriel mussed, crossing his arms over his chest, the toned tattooed muscles gleaming, “Nothing rubs my ego more than being called big”.
You let out a gasp, clipping him on the side with one hand, “Watch your mouth”, you shushed him, “There are kids here”. But now standing so close to him, you could feel the way your heart picked up. He was beautiful. Mother, every woman in Velaris probably had brought herself to an orgasm just thinking about the spymaster. “What would they say if they knew what their teacher was thinking about just now”, his words felt like a cold bucket, yet your cheeks bloomed red. “You’re no mind reader”, you scoffed, “Ego pressing on the little brain?”. Azriel caught your wrist, pinning it behind your back. Another gasp slipped past your lips as his chest pressed against you, “But I can smell it”, he mussed, “Come have dinner with me”. You couldn’t help but laugh, “Nice try”, you muttered. “I’ll fly you over myself if I have to”, Azriel warned. “Maybe you’ll have to come more often”, you made sure the enfaces the third to last word, causing Azriel to let out a lower chuckle, “You’re dangerous”, “Yet you are here”, you beamed at him.
It had stayed like this. This push and pull. Push and pull for weeks. Azriel had become accustomed to picking Nyx up almost every day. It was his easy pass to see you. Even if every time he walked through the gates he was met with an eye roll from you. And while you loved to prod and poke each other there had always been a sense of ease. As if finally someone had seen him. On some nights Azriel even found himself sharing the gruesome side of his job. And it had been your soft hands that had coxed him back to safety. Your eyes that had managed to see through the debris and find the truth beneath it all.
A light smile hadn’t left his face ever since and now as he finished the last bits of work for the day, he couldn’t wait to go get you. Drop Nyx home and spend the evening together. Just you and him. That was until something flashed across the sky. Azriel frowned pushing his chair back. Just he didn’t make it far as a loud explosion rattled the buildings. Alarms rang through the city as people started screaming outside. He was about to rush through the doors when his shadows slammed right into him. Bringing with them the sound of screaming. Children screaming. Women screaming. And a familiar voice there. Your voice and his whole body ran cold.
Everything had died down after that, all Azriel heard was static as he winnowed in front of a burning building. Some figures draped in black swirled around the school. Daggers in hand. His soldiers were already there, falling like stars from the sky. But all Azriel could think of was you and Nyx, somewhere there in the burning building. His feet moved faster than his mind as he hit the jammed door with his shoulder, breaking it in the first time. The ashen face of an elderly woman was the first thing he saw, and a litter of kids with faces shoved against her skirt in hopes of breathing as little fumes as possible.
“Come on, my man will keep you safe”, he reached out, steadying her and then counting up the little ones. “Who else is here?”, he asked through the crackling. “Upstairs”, she sobbed, “Please”. Azriel’s head snapped to the stairs. The broken down stair that had no doubt made it impossible for the ones upstairs to leave.
He could feel heartbeats. Racking through them to find a familiar one. And then a scream tore through the walls. Nyx’s name and… He was winnowing up. Ripping door after door he searched for the place you both had to be in. Eyes burning from the smoke. “Hand him over”, a thick voice snarled. “Fuck yourself and bend over”, you wheezed. Azriel’s boot came in contact with the center of the last door. And there you were a broken glass in hand as you shoved Nyx behind you. And an ill-looking male with a bloodied sword in front of you. Azriel’s shadows swarmed him, drowning the male in the dark as they pushed through every possible way into his body, the screams filling the small space. You turned back, clasping your hands around Nyx, pressing his face into your chest so he would not have to see it. It was in the infamous spymaster in front of you, in his real and lethal form as he stepped over the body trashing beneath him. His fingers that so carefully held you now gripped the jaw of the man who had threatened your life, Nyx’s life.
“You owe me a handful of breaths”, Azriel muttered against his ear, “And I will make you pay for them. You’ll wish you never breathed at all”, the coldness poured out of him. And if not for the coughs that slipped from Nyx’s lips you were sure that Azriel wouldn’t have moved from his spot. But his head snapped to the side, the complete darkness leaving his eyes. His shadows moved around you, offering you both oxygen. In two steps he had crossed the distance between you two. In two steps that had made you curl deeper into yourself as you held onto Nyx.
Azriel's jaw flexed as he watched you recoil from him. He felt your fear, it was all over. “I will not hurt you”, he muttered, “I’ll just get you both out”, his voice was back to the honey cone smoothness, as his hand wrapped around your shoulder. “Uncle Az”, Nyx choked out. “Try to breathe as little as possible, buddy”, Azriel’s palm cupped the back of Nyx’s head, “it will all be over soon”.
It felt almost like waking up from a nightmare. The fog cleared up. Air returning to your lungs. The light of flames was replaced by the sun. There was much more noise here. The screaming. You blinked to see parents looking for their kids. Mother’s weeping. “Mom”, Nyx pushed against your chest but you clung to him, “Daddy”, his voice broke. You felt him trashing in your arms but you couldn’t let go. Warm hands slid over your hands, gently pulling them apart, “He’s safe, you kept him safe”, Azriel’s voice flooded your mind. You watch Nyx’s trembling legs crossing the distance between him and his parents. The high lord falling to his knees as he wrapped the little boy in his arms. Your legs bucked, only to be met with a firm grasp on your hips as you collapsed into Azriel’s embrace.
“I’ve got you”, he muttered, “You are safe, my love, no one will hurt you”. You looked up, feeling the sting in your eyes, “Azriel”, you breathed. “I know”, he nodded, brushing the strand of your hair away from your face. You watched him for a moment, dizziness creeping in. Until your gaze darted down slowly, where warmth had been gathering all this time. “What is it?”, Azriel asked as his eyes followed yours. You heard the breath hitching in his throat before his palm pressed against your abdomen. Somewhere deep in your consciousness, you knew that you should have screamed out. But as you watched crimson seeping through his fingers you almost felt as if this body wasn’t yours.
“Y/n, my love, can you hear me”, Azriel’s worried eyes watched you, “Fuck”, cursing he looked around in panic, “Fuck, someone, please we need a healer here”. You felt Azriel’s hand slowly brushing against your back as he lowered you onto the grass. “Keep your eyes on me”, he pleaded, “Let me see your pretty eyes, I missed them so much today, did you know that?”, he was rambling you noted, something he never did. But you nodded anyway, “I missed you”, you muttered right back as his eyes snapped to the side. He was searching for a healer you did not doubt it. “Azriel”, you breathed out, but he didn’t budge. “Az”, you muttered, bringing your shaky palm to cup his cheek.
“Don’t you dare do this to me”, he whined through gritted teeth. “Come closer”, you muttered, feeling the way his hand dug into the wound on your side. But he followed your wishes this time, leaning closer till your foreheads were pressed together. “Tell me something you haven’t told me before”, you muttered, feeling your eyelids getting heavy. Azriel nuzzled against your cheek and you could feel his tears brushing onto your skin. “I love you”, he breathed, “I’m in love with you”, that was enough to make your heart leap up, tugging at the feeling so familiar, ancient, and deep. “And I love you”, you smiled at him, “Even if the sky falls and till my last breath then”, you felt him pulling back then, pulling at the thread joining you as one. You tugged as hard as your body allowed you, watching his golden eyes till your eyes couldn’t stay open anymore. Till you were sure the whole earth rattled as Azriel screamed.
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