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parkaiur · 5 years

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Snowy Days - Jihoon

❀ genre: college life + romance + a dash of angst

❀ word count: 5491

❀ a/n: just read the tags below but if ur too lazy to basically: don’t expect lots of updates and i just wrote this as a form of therapy for me. i guess i missed writing and needed to rant /shrugs/

also this title sucks but idk what to do with it either LMAO

❀ ❀ ❀

It was a quiet, winter evening; the snow was gently falling outside and the laughter of college students filled the dorm hallways.

I, on the other hand, was curled up in a ball on my bed, reading a book. The soft sounds of my hand turning the pages lulled me in a dreamland of swoon-worthy boys.

Suddenly, I heard a loud bang.

I flinched and jumped up on my bed to see what had dropped.

“Sorry! Just dropped my pan, how’s it going?” I sighed thankfully, realizing it was just my roommate, Naeun. Naeun was a freshman like me; we hadn’t talked much before rooming together. We got along most of the time, but being around people just irked me sometimes.

I pointed at the book, trying to hide the girlish daze in my eyes.

“Just reading, like usual.” I kept my words short, hoping she would get the hint that I wasn’t in the mood to talk. It wasn’t like I was mad at her or anything, but I need my breaks with all the socialness of college. I don’t think people understand how tiring it is for introverts to have to be “on” all the time; “on” meaning social.

She nodded. “What book?”

“It’s called ‘Win Some, Lose Some’ by Shay Savage. It’s a really amazing novel about a boy who was Autism and a girl who ...” I trailed off when I realized she had her back towards me. The sound of her pots and pans flying into her drawer was distracting. “A girl who befriends him basically. How was your day?” I asked politely.

I braced myself for her long winded answer. Most people just say “good” or “it was pretty alright” but not Naeun, she pops off and talks about things no one really needs to know, and no one really cares.

“It was okay. I saw one of my friends on campus and I waved to her because it’s so weird, right? Seeing people you know on such a large campus. And then I walked to English and my professor was just such in a good mood today, she’s so nice, I love her.”

I smiled carefully, hoping she doesn’t realize how much I do not care about who she waves at or how her professor looks.

“Then, I went to the library and did some of my math homework and I got started on the next chapter. And then I started to do my English homework which I got kind of stumped on. Anyway, all I could think about is this big burrito when I was studying.” She took out two large burritos and plopped them on a blue plate.

I nodded and told her I was going to go back to my book. She nodded and right as I was about to plug in my earbuds to drown out her voice while I read, she stopped me with her voice.

“Hey, I’m bored, do you think Ahyoung and Somi are busy?” I took out my earbuds once more and shrugged.

“Probably not.”

“Hm. Is it cool if I invite them over? I mean, you don’t have to say yes if you just want to be alone, I know how you get like that.”

I forced an awkward smile. “Um, I actually want to just chill and be alone, but you can always go to their rooms... they live in the same building.” I tried not to let my annoyance show in my voice, but it was rising.

She furrowed her brows and sighed. “Yeah, but they’re so far...” She whined.

Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t roll your eyes.

“I mean, they always come to our dorm, maybe go to them today?” I really didn’t care what she did, I just wanted to be alone.

I turned on my music and opened my book so I didn’t have to hear her complain. She went back on her phone and I was content reading in peace.

Five minutes later, I heard loud knocking on the door.

What? She did not just...

“Oh, hey, Ahyoung! How’s it going?”

No way, she did not just invite people over after I told her not to.

I felt my blood boil, but I tried to keep my calm. I was not going to make a scene, especially since Ahyoung was my friend.

I locked eyes with Naeun, who I visibly glared at.

“It’s chill, y/n, you don’t have to talk we are just gonna hang a bit and then go watch some TV.”

I bit my tongue to not snap at her. Her insensitivity was rubbing me the wrong way, but I didn’t want to blow up. We were all adults here, I didn’t want to seem like a child who got irritated when they were forced to socialize with their mom’s friends.

Soon, I heard another knock.

“Hey, Sooyoung! Come in, we are picking a show to watch.”

I tried to calm down and read my book, but when I say I want to be alone, I really mean I want to be alone.

I felt myself boil over in anger as I could still hear them over my earbuds. Their laughter and constant chatter couldn’t be tuned out.

“Ok, we are gonna go to the lounge and watch TV. High five!” Naeun held her hand right in front of my face and I hit it just to make her leave. I swear, I’d rather hit her face instead.

As soon as I heard the door slam shut, I pulled out my earbuds and went to rinse my face.

How insensitive of her! I explicitly told her not to invite anyone over to the dorm, and there she goes. She can’t walk up one flight of stairs to see our friends?? So fucking rude.

Living in the dorms as an introverted person was terribly hard. I don’t even know if introverted is the right word for it anymore if I want to go days without talking to people. And it sucks when no one truly understands me and doesn’t take my words seriously.

I groaned and stared at myself in the mirror.

“Just two more quarters and you’re free for the summer.”

I sighed and wiped my face on my towel.

College was hard.

I had found my group in college, but unfortunately, I had made the same mistakes as I did in high school. First, I stayed connected with some friends from high school who I had planned on cutting off. And most importantly, I put too much time and effort into people who disrespect me and don’t care for me.

And now I live with someone like that.

It angered me to feel so out of place, so alone in the dorms even when I had friends. Whenever I wanted to escape, there was no where to go. All my friends were here.

I clenched my fist.

All of a sudden, I couldn’t just sit down and read. I glanced over in the corner of the room and saw the camera from my photography class sitting there.

I looked outside my window and saw the soft snow falling down.

I quickly pulled on a warm, puffy jacket, jeans, and headed out to take some photos with my trustworthy camera.

-----

The air was colder than I remembered. I felt my nose crinkle as the wind blew snow into my nose.

The city was beautiful; it was painted in white sparkles. I snapped a few photos and took a deep breath.

I loved being outside and having no one notice me; this was one of my favorite things about living in the city and college in general. I snapped pictures of groups of people walking across the street. The blur of the street lights combined with the softness of the snow captivated me.

“Some nice pics you got there.”

I jumped at the voice and almost dropped my camera; thankfully, it’s always wrapped around my neck.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t think you’d get so scared.”

I looked up and saw a boy around my age staring at me. And dang, was he cute.

I thanked God for the weather because my cheeks were already red.

“Uh, um, it’s fine.” I fibbed quickly. I felt awkward because I didn’t know how to act around guys my age, especially ones as cute as him.

Be friendly, be friendly. He just wants to be friends.

“Um, I’m y/n by the way.” I took out my hand to shake his. He chuckled and reciprocated the action.

“Jihoon, Park Jihoon. You live in this building too?” He pointed at the building next door to me. I shook my head and watched as the snow fell onto my shoulders.

“Oh no, I live in this one.” He nodded. “Are you a freshman?” I asked.

He laughed heartily. I liked how he didn’t hide his emotions. “Oh no, I’m a sophomore this year but I’m an RA in this building.”

I made an “O” shape with my mouth. “Ah, a resident adviser. I’m applying to be one next year, kinda nervous but hopefully I’ll get the job.”

His eyes widened. “Oh really? I rarely meet people who want to baby a bunch of freshmen.” I laughed at his comment. “But hey, it’d be cool if we were in the same dorm next year. You could teach me to take such pretty pictures.” I laughed and flipped through the photos on my camera out of habit.

“Don’t get your hopes up, I haven’t even been accepted for the job yet. Also, I’m taking photography 101 with Professor Lee Miyoung, I’m sure she’s a better teacher than I am.” I teased.

He shrugged. “Well, I doubt she’s as pretty as you.”

My heart froze.

W-what? Did he just flirt with me? Oh god, what do I say now? How do I flirt back? I-

“Sorry, was that weird? I wanted to call you pretty but I didn’t mean to lowkey talk about a professor’s beauty either.” He looked mildly embarrassed when he shook out his hair full of snow.

I gave him a small smile. “Um, no, not weird, it was actually kind of smooth. I don’t really know how to respond to flirting.”

Oh my god. I just said that.

His eyes lit up mischievously as I tried not to blush even harder.

“Oh flirting? Is that what we are doing?” He teased.

“Technically, that’s what you are doing.” He laughed loudly and his voice echoed throughout the streets. I only hoped to have that loud of a voice as an RA.

“You got me there.” He then looked down at his watch and frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

He looked up at me with his soft brown puppy eyes. I swear this guy is too cute to be real. “Um, my shift is starting soon.” He then took out his phone. “I know we just met, but you seem pretty cool-”

Before he could finish, I took his phone and typed in my number.

“There, now you can teach me how to be an RA and I can teach you how to take photos.” I said as confidently as I could.

He seemed a bit surprised at my voice, but nodded.

“Sounds great, see you later.” He waved to be as he walked away, but slipped on a patch of snow.

“Ah, be careful!” I shouted. He gave me a small smile and walked back into his dorm.

Well, at least this day ended on a high note.

-----

“Hey, where’d you go last night? We were wondering where you were at.”

I’m an adult, I don’t have to tell you everywhere I go.

I bit back the words and forced a small smile. “Oh, I just went to take some photos for my photography class. The snow looked really pretty last night.” I left out the minor detail that a cute boy started to talk to me. I wanted to keep the giddiness to myself.

“Oh cool. I just came back from the gym. I saw a really cute boy in there. He was really fit, dark skinned, dark hair. And he smiled at me and I smiled back. We didn’t get to talk because I was so out of breath, but I hope he’s at the gym again.” She went off without me asking her too.

I understand that I’m being a bit tough on her, but she irritated me first by inviting people over when I told her not to. People always talk about communication in college, but sometimes people just don’t listen to you.

“Cool, hope you see him again.” I said nicely. I have to put on a nice face with my roommates, as I don’t want to be in an awkward living situation.

“Yeah... how was your day today?”

-----

“And then she just invited you guys over, disregarding what I had just said before! Isn’t that rude?” I voiced to Ahyoung, my best friend. I’d known her before going to college, well, I’ve known her since we were 8.

She looked a bit hesitant on what to say.

I went on about the situation. “I’m not saying I hate seeing you guys, but you know how I get when I want to be alone. I...I just want to be alone and it makes me crazy when I see people. Plus, I told Naeun I wanted to chill out and be alone and then she just invites you guys over, without telling me?? I’m not crazy.” I ranted.

Ahyoung sighed and took a sip of her coffee filled with milk and sugar.

“I mean, she did say she was inviting us over in the groupchat.”

I glared at the younger girl. “Excuse me, I was sitting right next to her, she knows I didn’t check my phone. It’s rude to not tell your roommate you’re inviting people over, and it’s even ruder when we just talked about how I didn’t want her to invite people over. It’s not like she forgot within the five minutes.”

“True. That wasn’t nice of her.” I noticed she hesitated on saying anything bad about her. We were all friends, but I was the one who had problems with friends in the group, as usual. I didn’t like very many people, but I was civil and nice to everyone; that’s what being an adult is all about.

“Yeah...” I trailed off. I don’t know when it got so weird between us, but it felt like I couldn’t talk to my best friend about things in my life. I didn’t even tell her about the cute guy who flirted with me. Deep inside of me, I knew she didn’t deserve to know these things about me when she didn’t want to hear the bad parts of my life.

It felt like everyone wants to be around me when I’m laughing and joking, never when I’m serious and want to talk about my feelings. No one wants to listen when I want to rant about real things in life, yet they love when someone rants about some “dumb” thing a girl did in the hallway.

I didn’t get why they judged people before they knew them. I always tried to talk with people before I made judgements, yet people think it’s weird when I judge people I talk to. That’s the way you’re supposed to judge people... when you get to know them personally. Duh.

As I was talking, I saw her eyes focused on something far away from me.

I turned around and saw her crush standing there. She stopped listening to me as he waved at her. I saw her eyes bright up when she saw him and I grew annoyed. I was telling her about something that was bothering me, and then she chooses a boy over me. Not cool.

“Hello? Earth to Ahyoung??” I teased. She shrugged me off.

“He’s so cute. I know he doesn’t like me, but I can’t help myself.”

I snorted. “Yeah, he doesn’t like you and actually, he only dates white girls and you my friend, are not white.” I knew I was being harsh, but I hear about him every single second and it angers me when I want to vent about something in my life and she doesn’t think I’m as important as her crush.

She flinched at my harsh words.

“You just wouldn’t understand, you’ve never had a crush before. You’ve never been in love before.” She said matter of factly.

Ouch.

This was all true, but it hurt when she said it like that. I’ve never felt romantic love, wow, thanks for reminding me. Maybe I’m too busy taking care of my dumb friends who don’t care about me.

Maybe.

-----

“Bye, see you later.” I waved her off as we both went to class.

As soon as I turned around, I saw a familiar face.

Jihoon.

I fixed my hair and prayed none of my mascara had smeared on my face.

Be confident, make friends.

“Hey, Jihoon.” He turned around with a confused look on his face. I felt a leap in my heart when he smiled at me.

“Oh hey y/n, it’s weird to see you without a camera.” He joked.

I felt my heart skip a beat when he said my name; I was so used to people forgetting about me.

“Hah, well it’s weird to see you in the daylight.” I joked. When I saw him left an eyebrow, I knew I said something wrong.

I felt my face burn up at my own words.

“Not like that.” I blubbered out. He let out a light laugh.

“Well, I mean, you’re right.” He took note of my embarrassed state and changed the subject. “So, what class are you headed to?”

“History of the Ancient Greek and Roman worlds, how bout you?”

“Woah, what an interesting class. I’m heading to choir practice actually.” That made me stop in my tracks.

“Wait, you sing?”

He chuckled. “Yup, that is what you do in choir.” I felt a bit embarrassed at my statement. “I’m joking, I’m joking, but yes, I do sing. Have been doing so for my whole life.”

“I did choir up until high school, I didn’t feel good enough for college. I still don’t know how to read music and it’s been years.”

“It’s hard, but you get used to it. You should give it a shot if you really want to though. Or come watch one of our performances.” I smiled at him.

“One day.” I stopped walking and pointed at the building in front of us. “This is me. I’ll see you later?”

He nodded and smiled.

“I’ll see you later.”

-----

Two weeks had passed and I hadn’t seen much of Jihoon. We waved to each other in passing, but it was midterms soon, and exams were the only thing on my mind. We sent each other memes daily though and we just got each other’s humor- that was rare.

I was filling out my history study guide until I heard my roommate, Naeun, walk in.

“Hey, y/n~ Ahyoung, Sooyoung and I saw you talking to a boy yesterday~ Oooooooo what’s his name?”

She sat right in front of me, not giving me any personal space.

I tried not to blush but honestly, my face was turning red because I was so annoyed at her.

“His name is Jihoon. He’s an RA in the dorm next to us, we met at an RA informational meeting.” I lied. I didn’t want to tell her I ran out of the dorm because I couldn’t handle her and people.

“He’s cute, nice body too.” I felt a an overwhelming sense of jealously and protectiveness wash over me. I hated it. I didn’t want to be this person. I probably only felt this way because I didn’t like Naeun right now.

“Yeah, you can have him if you want. I’m not into him.” I lied.

She raised a brow. “Really? Don’t be upset if he falls for me then.” I knew she was joking when she flipped her hair dramatically, but I wasn’t into it.

I felt my buried insecurities rise when I stared intensely at her face. Her eyebrows were neatly plucked, which I was always too scared to do. Her skin was tanned and even, not blotchy and red like mine. Her fashion was trendy and most boys liked her because of her socialness, on the contrary, I was awkward and mean to boys, unintentionally.

I just went back to doing my homework, shaking off the comparison.

-----

Later that night, I saw a message pop up in my texts which was weird because I usually mute everyone.

‘hey midterms are killing me and i dont understand anything... want ice cream?’

I tried not to laugh even though both my roommates were at the library.

‘uhhh shouldnt u be studying if u dont understand anything?? mayb??’

‘LOL thats not how it works young padawan’ I rolled my eyes. He thinks he’s so much older than me.

‘also I don’t eat ice cream, i don’t eat dairy’

‘... aight imma head out’

I snorted and tilted my head back in laughter.

‘ok, no ice cream... what DO you like?’

You. I like you.

... Definitely not sending that.

‘UMMM i like hot chocolate?’

‘okay, i’ll be at your dorm in 5. what is your room number again?’

‘303′

‘aight’

I looked down at short shorts and tank top and then at the harsh winds outside. I threw on a pair of cute leggings and a heavy sweater. I put on a black jacket over it and placed a beanie on my head.

I did my brows and put on a few swipes of mascara. I carefully applied my lightly colored lip balm and sprayed face mist to look dewy and cute.

Is this a date? Or is this just two friends being adventurous?

Whatever, I want to look cute at least.

Seconds after I finish, I hear a knock at my door. I took a deep breath.

This isn’t a date. This isn’t a date. Calm down.

I opened the door.

He was wearing a puffy jacket and dark black jeans that outlined his thigh muscles. Yum.

I also noticed he was wearing a gray beanie... which was identical to mine.

“Cute hat.” I noted. He grinned and tugged on my beanie.

“Same goes for you. Ready for some hot chocolate?”

“Yes, where are we going to get said chocolate caliente?”

Jihoon gave me a weird look. “Chocolate what?”

I stared at him, stunned. “Chocolate caliente. Caliente means hot in Spanish. Therefore, hot chocolate. You didn’t take Spanish in high school?”

He shook his head. “Nope, I took Japanese because I’m a weeb.” I snorted.

“Wow, I should be surprised but I’m not.” He pushed me playfully and I tried not to freak out over the warmth of his skin.

“You’re telling me you don’t watch any anime?”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course I watch some anime. But am I full blown weeb... no.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I can change that, don’t worry.”

“You still didn’t tell me where we are going.” My fingers felt crisp from the cold air. It wasn’t snowing tonight, but the ground was still white.

“Aha, we are going to my favorite cafe called ‘Pink Heart Cafe’. It is decked in pink hearts.”

“As expected from a Pink Heart Cafe.” I joked. In the near distance, I noticed a sign that had a baby pink heart that wrote ‘Pink Heart Cafe’ in cute lettering.

I crinkled my nose from the cold air. “What, you don’t like pink?”

“No, no, I love the color pink actually. It’s just kinda cold out here.” He nodded.

“Maybe it would be warmed if we held hands... maybe.”

For the first time, I felt comfortable with someone’s flirtatious comment.

I smirked and hooked my hand with his. I felt my heart beater faster. Much faster. And I loved it.

I saw him smile widely and hide it with his hair.

“I’m a lucky guy.” He whispered.

We walked into the cafe.

“Hi! Welcome to Pink Heart Cafe, for here or to go?”

“For here, please.” The woman nodded.

“Please take a seat. We will come take your order soon.”

We took our seats in the corner, next to the pink fairy lights. I was in love with the aesthetic.

“Cute place. And fancy it seems, they come take our order at the table.” I sang a bit of Twice’s Fancy.

“Oh gosh, you love Twice?? Me too!” I shrugged nonchalantly.

“I mean, I like them, their songs are cute and catchy but I’m not a diehard fan.”

He frowned. I can change that too.

I sighed and rolled my eyes dramatically. “Wow, it seems like there are a lot of things you want to change about me. What do you even like about me?” I teased.

He smiled harder and I noticed a blush on his face.

“Uhhh, that’s a good question. I like... I like how you’re honest with your emotions. I like how you’re good at photography. I like that you want to become an RA because of the money and--” I gasped and pushed him on the arm.

“That’s not the only reason! Yes... the pay is good, but I like helping people.”

Our laughter died down as he gazed at me intensely.

“You like helping people? Tell me more about that.”

I paused. No one had asked me that before.

“Um, no one’s asked me that before. I guess I just like to see people happy. I like appealing to people’s emotions and most times, I’m pretty good at making people like me.” I said honestly. I saw his face light up at my words. “And I also want to be a teacher after I graduate, so being an RA would help improve my social skills and teach me how to interact with those younger than me and work through their problems. I don’t know, people say it’s hard and that it can be tough if kids come to you with suicidal thoughts and feelings of anxiety and depression, but I mean, I just want to do it and give back to the community somehow... I don’t know. ” I mumbled off, feeling like I said too much.

His gaze was so serious, I was scared I bored him to death.

He leaned closer to me and I freaked out. I held my breath, waiting for what was next until he spoke.

“You’re so awesome.” He finally said.

That... that was surprising.

“Um, thanks?”

“I’m serious! That’s so amazing why you want to be an RA. Honestly, I took up this job because it pays well and I’m good at talking to people, but sometimes I couldn’t care less about my residents. I like how you’re so kind to people.”

I laughed, “I’m not that nice.”

“Yeah right, you were nice to me the first time we met. And I could’ve been a creepy dude and I almost made you break your camera.”

“Well, I was nice to you because you are a cute boy.” He choked on his drink at my blunt words. I grew shy all of a sudden and laughed with him.

“Jesus, give a boy a warning before you say such words.” He was pink in the face and I felt my heart warm.

“It’s true, you are attractive. But it is also true that I’m not nice. My roommate is irritating the heck out of me and I have to tell myself every time I talk to her to say nice things and not hurt her feelings ‘cause she’s so damn sensitive.”

He paused for a moment. I was nervous he would think I was a bad person. Which... technically is what I’m trying to convince him of.

“Wow, you just got ten times nicer.” Now it was my turn to choke on my drink.

“What? I just told you I have to force myself to be nice to my roommate even though I just want to snap at her all the time.”

Jihoon leaned back in his chair with a smug look on his face. “Exactly! Most people would’ve just called her a bitch and moved on! Moved out or from what I’ve seen, some girls do mean shit like throwing another girl’s clothes out of her closet or flirting with her boyfriend. You... you just be nice when someone is mean to you.”

“She’s not mean, just rubbing me the wrong way.” Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“See? You are still defending her even though I’m sure she’s putting you through more than other people would take.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, most people don’t take me seriously when I talk about it.”

“Try me.”

I hesitated at first, but when I saw his open and honest look, I spilled.

“Well, I’m quite an introverted person so I need my alone time. And when I told her, this was actually the night that I met you, um, I told her that I wanted to be alone. And then she invited people over to the room and yes, they left soon, but when I’m in my isolation mood, I just... I just don’t even want to look at people.”

He stared at me with a curious look so I rambled on. “I know, it’s dumb-”

He placed a gentle hand on top of mine.

“No, that’s not dumb at all. She should’ve respected your words. I would be so mad. Give me more!” He pounded his fist on the table for dramatic effect.

I felt my heart lighten when he wanted to hear more of my words. I was so used to people ignoring me and brushing over my concerns.

“Uh, well, just... well not just Naeun, my roommate, but some of my friends in the same dorm as me. They are just really judgmental and the negativity just pains me. I don’t like judging others before getting to know them, so hearing them talk bad about random people they don’t know just pains me. And I’m no saint, yes I judge people, but I make sure I talk to them first and get to know them before I make judgments.”

Jihoon smiled. “You keep getting better the more I get to know you. I do the same thing, my friends think I’m crazy when I say ‘hey that dude looks kinda mean and no one likes him, i’ll be friends with him’!”

My eyes widened. “Oh my god, that’s how I met most of my friends!”

We laughed as we bad mouthed our friends and the people who have hurt us.

“Why do you stick with such crappy friends? No offense, you deserve so much better.”

I shrugged. “I mean, everyone says that to me and truly, I don’t even know. I just feel so connected to them now and they have their good moments-”

“Good moments aren’t enough if they consistently hurt you.”

“I know, I know! I just... maybe I’m not that good of a person then if I stay with them. Like people say, you are who your friends are.”

“That’s bull, you’re a good person, I know that. And your friends don’t even care to listen to you rant, I can tell I’m the first person you told all this stuff too because you have flames in your eyes. You deserve friends you can trust and are able to rant to. I promise.”

I bit my lip, thinking of what to say.

“Thank you, I guess I just think I am helping them by staying with them. I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”

“Just know that you have me now, and if you ever need to rant or vent or whatever, I’m here for you. You have me now.”

I felt a wave of emotion wash over me. No one’s ever said that to me before and meant it. I know he meant it, it was written all over his face.

I nodded slowly, accepting the moment we were having.

We sat in a moment of silence until the waiter came for the check.

I dug through my pockets to get out the ten dollar bill I stuffed in there.

“Hah funny,” Jihoon chided when he whipped out his card before I could do anything. I gasped.

“Ah, Jihoon, I brought money!”

He tsked and stood when the waiter gave him his card back. “Yeah right, I’d never let a girl pay on the first date, that’s like... illegal.” I rolled my eyes, until I realized what he had just admit.

“Date?” I questioned carefully.

He looked away from my gaze, like he didn’t mean to say the word.

“Yes... date. Do you have a problem with that?”

I grinned.

“Nope.”

90 notes · View notes

imbeccablee · 5 years

Text

After Work

Author’s Notes:

hot damn guys this is hella fuckin cute lmao

archive link will be in the reblog so this shows up in the tag

well i hope you enjoy!

Izuocha Week 2020 Day 1: After Work

Summary: Izuku decided to ask Ochako to marry him on April 14th

She was pacing around their shared bedroom and ranting about her day’s tribulations, hands animated and words quick, when Izuku realized she was the one.

Ochako had barged into their bedroom just as he left the master bathroom and began with, “Oh you will not believe the day I had today.”

“Oh no, what happened?” he had said and sat down on the foot of their bed, preparing for the much-needed vent. For the first five minutes of it, he had voiced his own frustration and anger in between her pauses—”What? No way! What an ass! Are you kidding me?”—but after that, she had begun pacing and had begun talking too fast for him to give input. Normally whenever she told him of the trials she went through as a thirty-two year old female hero in today’s society, he simmered in his own rage that anybody could ever disrespect the Uravity, but that night as he watched her pace and vent and trash some dirtbags, he’d never felt more in love. (He did feel incredibly pissed though, make no mistake).

It’s not as if he didn’t know he loved Ochako before, and that she loved him, but something about hearing her absolutely eviscerate some of the cockier, pig-headed heroes she had to work with that day with quick, venom-laced words and a voice that was getting more and more accented by the second locked her in his heart forever. She really was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It seemed so obvious, now that the idea had finally formed in his mind. Who else would he ever want at his side for all of eternity?

“Anyway,” she harshly sighed, pausing in front of him. She seemed to have gotten her frustration out of her system. “That’s about all that happened. How was your day?”

He considered telling her. She would say yes, that he knew for sure (well okay, he was about 90—80—70—he was pretty sure she would). He could ask her right that moment, as he gazed up at her lean, breathless figure that stood above him inquisitively. He should probably answer her—

“Ah, well, you know,” he said, trying to calm the dancing of his heart as his mind filled with half-baked proposal plans and thoughts of weddings and anniversaries and life spent at her side. “About the same for me, as usual. Paperwork is killing me these days.”

Ochako laughed as the rest of her anger drained out of her and she stepped forward into his awaiting arms, melting into his embrace. “Well maybe if you didn’t spend so much time rushing off every time you hear someone be mildly inconvenienced, you’d be more on top of things.”

Izuku laughed and securely wrapped his arms around her waist. His tone was light and teasing, but he looked at her as if she were the moon, full and bright in a sky of sparkling stars. “If I had a 100 yen for every time someone told me that.”

“We wouldn’t even need to work anymore,” Ochako joked, interlacing her fingers behind his neck, “we’d be the richest couple in the entire world.”

“Hey, who says I’m sharing? I earned that money for being a selfless do-gooder fair and square!” His face hurt from smiling so hard. His heart felt so full, his stomach so nervous and excited. He felt as if he could float right off their bed. God, he loved her so much.

Ochako snorted. “Self-sacrificing douchebag, more like it. What must your managers think, rushing off into danger at the blink of an eye?”

“I dunno about my manager, but the public and Hero Commission seem to love it,” he jokingly bragged. He was currently up by five places on her. They’d never cared much about the numbers, but there was nothing wrong with a little competition to tease their lover and friends (it was especially entertaining boasting to Kacchan, who would fly into a rage at the mere mention of you being a single place higher than him).

Ochako rolled her eyes and poked him accusingly in the center of his chest, leaving one hand resting on the base of his neck. “If the public knew that you weren’t the hunky, cool guy you broadcast to them and were actually just a huge dork who still freaks out over heroes, they wouldn’t stick around.”

“You wound me!” he exclaimed, feeling as if he might burst from all of the emotions bubbling inside him. He could feel himself shaking with the euphoria of their banter, of being so close to her, of being the luckiest man in the universe. “I can very much be both a nerd and a cool, life-saving guy!”

“Only a nerd who knows his friends will never let him forget his nerdy nerding out would believe that,” she countered.

“Ah—hm…” Well, she’s got him there.

Her expression turned smug as he searched for a response. Finding none, he tightened his grip around her, pulling her even tighter to him, and began pressing messy distraction kisses all over her jaw, neck, and collar. She let out shrieking laughter as he did, shoving at his shoulders. “No, Deku, I’m all dirty!”

“You’re beautiful,” he said into her skin. After realizing normal pushing wasn’t going to do it, Ochako laid all five fingers upon his exposed neck and Izuku felt the familiar feel of weightlessness. Then, Ochako pushed him all the way down onto the bed by the shoulders and effectively stopped his campaign of kisses.

“Hey, quirks are cheating!” he playfully accused and she rolled her eyes.

“So is kissing me to distract me from my win,” she countered and her eyes gleamed. “Don’t you think that worked, either.” He paused in his adoring to look up at her still smug expression, something she still managed to pull off with a bright red face.

“Maybe I wasn’t trying to distract you,” he lied, though the next part was true. “Maybe I just couldn’t resist kissing my cute girlfriend, ever think of that?”

Somehow, her face glowed even brighter, but she rolled her eyes again. As she did, he quickly bent his arms to grasp at her wrists and used her weight to flip their positions. She hadn’t been as solidly braced as she would have been during a fight, nor had he been pinned for the same reason, so the flipping was significantly easier than he was used to in their past matches. Taking advantage of her shock, he quickly pushed her hands together and his stomach dropped along with the rest of him as his gravity returned. As he fell, he pushed her hands onto either side of her head and pinned her there as his feet landed solidly on either side of her.

They blinked at each other for a silent few seconds, Ochako half off the bed and Izuku hunched over it and her, and then he said, “Wow, I can’t believe that worked.”

Ochako snorted, amusement breaking through her surprised expression, and she cried, “That’s so like you!”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!” he protested, but Ochako’s laughter was contagious and he soon joined her. His hands released her wrists, sliding to brace himself on the bed under her. warm and happy and so in love it hurt.

Ochako wrapped her arms around him as her laughter died down, sighing happily and relaxing into the bed. Izuku gazed down at her, his eyes and smile soft, and wondered for the millionth time how he could have been so lucky.

One of her hands went from his back to his cheek, her four-fingered touch gentle and expression soft. His own breath caught in his throat, exactly like it’s done since high school. She gently caressed his cheek with her thumb and whispered in the space between them, “I love you.”

His smile pulled taut across his face again and, with a gasping breath, said, “I love you too.” She let out a single laugh and he lowered his mouth to capture it between his lips, eyes burning and heart soaring.

Izuku could think of proposals and weddings and their future, together, later. He had time. They had time. And right now, all he wanted to do was spend that time here, in the present, with his incredible, amazing, absolutely wonderful love as they relaxed and loved together in the calm of their home after work.

#izuochaweek2020 #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #izuocha #midoriya izuku #uraraka ochako #gravity smash #uradeku

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jadethekitteh-blog · 7 years

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...

#yay time for a tag rant motherfuckers!#im fucking pissed off right now!!!!!!#im also very frustrated and mildly upset!!!!#u wanna know why????#because my fucking d&d session today was pure shit for me!!!#''why was it shit?'' you may ask #well there are 3 mcfucking reasons!!!#today we were fighting banshees #but the fuckers can only be damaged by magic!! and guess what!!!#I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE FUCKING GROUP THAT DAY THAT HAS ZERO (0) SPELLS!!!#SO I HAD TO SPEND LIKE 1/3 OF THE CAMPAIGN SITTING THERE AND WATCHING EVERYONE ELSE DO ALL THE WORK!!!!#like that on its own wouldnt have been that bad #but to make matters worse #near the end of the fight one of the fucking bitchshees brought me down to 0 health and knocked me unconscious!!!!#and when the fight was over instead of using healing/reviving spells to help me #they were just like lmao lets just let her gain her HP back over a long break!!! great!!! fucking fantastic!!!!#now i get to spend another 1/3 of the campaign being knocked the fuck out!!!!#and during that time i got to watch wile the other characters interacted with one another!!! and all i could do was fucking sit there!!!!#so FINALLY i wake up thinking ''man the rest of this sesh has been shit but maybe now i can at least talk to some peeps''#but nope!!! i couldnt even have that!!!#because one of the others spent a shit ton of time talking with one of the NPCs!!!#so i didnt get to talk to either of them!!!!#and when they FINALLY stop talking the NPC goes off to hunt for some food #and im like ''nice maybe now the DM will give the players a chance to talk''#but nooo the DM decided to timeskip so that the NPC was back in 2 seconds!!#and i thought ''maybe i can talk while we're eating?'' but nope! timeskip again! yall are done eating and back on the road!!#''ok.. maybe.. just maybe... i could talk while we're on the road?'' nope!! session over!! lets pack up everyone!!!''#wow yea great session!!! glad yall had fun while i just fucking sat there!!!!#uggghhhhhh sorry but i just really had to rant about this #personal

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kazliin · 8 years

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I don't know if you have a twitter too but I searched for umfb&mha there a few hours after the chapter was released and everyone was screaming in pain there too 😂

I don’t have a twitter but I went on after I saw this ask and amused myself by scrolling through the tag of everyone screaming about chapter 13!

#replies #I love seeing people react and headcanon and all that #Got mildly offended by one person tho lmao #It was about the ring finger scene #And someone was like oh it's because Russians wear it on their right hands but Yuuri doesn't know so he doesn't realise #And they were like nah the author wont know they'll just be American and not care about anything outside their culture #and I was like????excuse u?#Like one why do people keep thinking I'm American i don't get it #I use too many Us in my words to be American #I do not spend half my editing time getting rid of my incomprehensible Scottish slang from the fic to make it readable to this #also I knew exactly what I was doing thank u very much #I do my research #Google is now very curious as to why I've spent the past three months reading so much about Russian culture that all my suggested ads have #changed lmao #sorry minor tag rant over #I just found it pretty funny that's all

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sync-up · 5 years

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10 / 21 / 32 / 13 !

10. drop a rant about how much you hate bare the musical

Haven't seen either Bare, so I'mma tag @onestolendare and @violetneptuneheart and leave this up to them

21. best love duet?

Ok, so I have a History of the Love Duet™ being my least favorite song(s) in the musical. A bunch of my favorite musicals don't have them at all. But if I had to choose? Seeing You from Groundhog Day. It's closer to a solo, but it's one of two of my top five musicals that has romance, and I don't like Waitress's Pomatter/Jenna so. Lmao.

32. is there an artist/album you’d like turned into a musical? talk about it

WHY DO YOU GUYS KEEP ASKING ME THESE... IM UNCULTURED. But anyway, I actually am not a fan of jukebox musicals, so no

13. once on this island 2018 or oklahoma 2019?

They're both in the CITS meaning they're impossible to film, but I think OOTI? I've never seen Oklahoma and OOTI is pretty so!

mildly unusual musical theater questions

#asks #ask game #charlicpace

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llunawrites · 6 years

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REALLY A SESSION? | Loki Laufeyson

Prompt: None

Summary: THIS IS DAY FOUR. After joining the Avengers, Loki is subjected to mandatory therapy. He was reluctant, but he wasn’t expecting you.

Warnings: Nothing really, just fluff, a bit of Avengers conflict again, a bit all over the place I’m sorry xx

Word count: 1048 (wow this is what writing at 2 in the morning can get you)

DAY ONE DAY TWO DAY THREE

Day Four

After the nice day you and he had out in the streets of New York, Loki had been spending more time with you outside of sessions. He found himself going to you when he was upset or angry at someone. He’d sit on your couch and listen to you talk and ask him minor questions such as what he had for breakfast, and he’d do this while absentmindedly drifting his hand across the paper of his sketchbook. After an hour or so of this, he found he wasn’t as angry as he was originally.

You would invite him to watch movies or introduce him to your music. A lot of these visits were always calm and comfortable, something Loki had never really had but had definitely craved now that he did.

It was almost routine by now, he’d appear on your floor of the tower every afternoon and the two of you would have lunch and find some sort of activity to engage in.

Once, while you were making some movie snacks you told him to go sit in his spot on the couch and that you would join him in a moment. It was incredible how happy that sentence made him feel.

His spot on the couch.

He had a spot, a place, somewhere to belong.

Sometimes he would get there super early, which he decided to do more often once he saw you sleepily roaming the kitchen with a fluffy blanket around your shoulders, insisting that you would make him some breakfast.

He started wearing more laid back clothes, and the fluffy socks that you bought for him (though he wore dark black dress shoes to try and cover up the fact that they were lime green. It didn’t work.). He became more loose.

Loki was polite. Not only to you, to a few of the interns in the building as well. He’d send his signature cunning smiles to everyone he saw. His brother, Thor had sometimes joined him in walking around the halls before Loki joined you on your soft couch. The funny thing was, he didn’t mind these moments spent with the blonde as he normally did. He actually liked them.

Problem was, he wasn’t showing this same assured personality to the rest of the Avengers.

Not surprising, the rest of the team still doubted him and, as it seems had started doubting you.

Tony would constantly look for updates on Loki’s behaviour. To which, you would ignore saying he was your patient and you weren’t allowed to spill details unless it was to director Fury.

Steve would try to sweet talk it, he’d bring you a coffee and casually bring up the conversation. He would ask how spending time with the trickster god was. You would give a short one word answer and then go off to talk about a dog you had seen earlier that morning.

Natasha never really cared and Clint was with his family most of the time, so he wasn’t ever around to ask. Bruce was a bit wary, but had more trust in your abilities than Loki’s.

So it was just the man of iron and the man out of his time.

Apparently, they had been so worried that they did contact director Fury. Which led to a little investigation where Tony searched through the ‘therapy room’ footage. Doing this, they realized that you hadn’t even touched on the fact that he tried to take on the world. All you had been asking were stupid little questions.

So, they held an Avengers meeting. Fury, Loki and yourself included. Tony was almost steaming asking you what you were trying to do, steering away from the attack and only asking Loki what sort of hair product he used.

Steve was also asking, why would you agree to be his therapist if you weren’t going to do your job.

Everyone else in the room listened closely for your reply. Especially Loki, who was just as curious as they were.

You took a sharp breath, ready to unleash hell upon anyone that would question you. You started with the fact that yes, you weren’t asking questions about the attack but how many therapists before went for that angle and came up dry. You knew, going in there you had already known what to expect. You had already diagnosed him.

They only gazed at you, confused as to what kind of diagnosis he had other than clinically insane.

You however, didn’t mind them. You looked directly into Loki’s eyes instead. You told them.

His diagnosis was that he was incredibly lonely. Understandable, as he was a rare kind of being. Rare beings often find it difficult to find friends, especially when they don’t even have a family.

Thor objected to this but you silenced him quickly.

Because when was the last time Loki really felt like he had a family.

You told them, you went into that office armed with a smile and a million get-to-know-you questions. You took interest in his interests, you payed attention to his emotions.

Who else on the team could say they had given Loki that same chance.

Not one of them.

And with that you informed them that he was in fact making great progress. He’d no longer be as vicious toward people, he preferred to sit silently in his spot of the warm couch in your flat and sip at his favourite cup of tea while you told stories.

When you had finally finished your ranting behaviour, stating that Loki had only needed a friend, Tony looked exasperated and Steve looked mildly understanding. Fury watched you with his one good eye proudly. He knew that putting you in this position was the right decision, and you delivered with flying colours. He even claimed that Loki would no longer see a therapist, for it was no longer mandatory. He then walked out without so much as a goodbye.

Loki was partly confused at everyone’s very human lives and decisions but was nonetheless happy when you gently grabbed hold of his arm and told him about a new movie you wanted him to see.

For now, he was just awaiting each day and greeting it with excitement knowing it would be another day spent with you.

So it isn’t incredible, it’s a bit all over the place but I quickly ran out of ideas for how to continue sessions.

I decided I would just end it the way I had wanted to. So! Day four is officially ending the Therapy session series, I kinda want to work on another series but I wanna keep it in the works until the whole thing is finished, so i don’t feel any pressure to get them out and all of it turning out crap. I will be doing just random imagines in between that time though, so look for those. ALSO please request, I’m not great at coming up with ideas and honestly I want to see what situations other people can think of. Also, this was written at 2 am but I scheduled it to come out at 8 am bc I know my friend has my post notifications turned on lmao.

I want to thank the people that supported this so fiercely, thank you all so much and again, I’m sorry to leave on such an anticlimactic note. I may do a few parts of this such as other days reader and Loki experienced but I think this idea is a bit tired.

Hope you enjoyed, love you guys xx 💕

Tags:

@arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @try-again-try-harder

#loki laufeyson reader insert #loki drabble #loki reader insert #loki imagine #loki x reader #loki #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson drabble #please request #request #therapy session

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aightnat · 7 years

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Tag thing lmao thnx

What what what whattup, @jamesisagiantpeach tagged me in this so,, , ,,,here u go (thnx b)

1. are you named after someone? Yeah, my parents knew someone named Natalie and I guess she was really great??? so, here we are.

2. when was the last time you cried? LAST NIGHT BUT IT WASNT LIKE “OH IM SAD” TEARS I WAS CRYING OVER KIM NAMJOON

3. do you like your handwriting? Meh, it’s alright.

4. what is your favourite lunch meat? hAM or turkey idk but i usually go for hammmmm

5. do you have kids? i have 200 sons.

6. if you were another person, would you be friends with you? no, lmao.

7. do you use sarcasm? idk what sarcasm is

8. do you still have your tonsils? Yeye son

9. would you bungee jump? hmm,,,, perhaps.

10. what is your favourite kind of cereal? Yo i frikin LOVE life cereal OH AND FROSTED MINNIE WHEATS YESYESYESYEY

11. do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope

12. do you think you’re a strong person? I have the upper body strength of a toddler

13. what is your favourite ice cream? CAKE BATTER IS GOOD AS HELL AND I WANT IT RN

14. what is the first thing you notice about people? Usually how they carry themselves lmao, if they come off as cocky and arrogant then i probs wont speak to them again oops.

15. what is your least favourite physical thing about yourself? ooooH hH BOY, do u have 9 years so I can rant about this? ? lmao

16. what colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? Black ayo, and I’m not wearing shoes but i have black socks on, ,, ,so

17. what are you listening to right now? Young The Giant ayo, currently the song apartment if u were curious

18. if you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Possibly a nice purple color, or a pastel yellow, perhaps a nice cream color

19. favourite smell? I love the smell of things that are sweet but not overly sweet, you feel?

20. who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Jensen, lmao.

21. favourite sport to watch? Soccerrrrrrr

22. hair colour? Brown/im also a grape rn

23. eye colour? Brownnnn

24. do you wear contacts? Nah

25. favourite food to eat? idk if any of u kno what this is, but titiyas r probs one of my fave foods. Also rice but most ppl already kno tht lmao

26. scary movies or comedy? Scary

27. last movie you watched? Finding Dory i think?

28. what colour shirt are you wearing? I’m wearing a cream(???) colored sweater whattup

29. summer or winter? Winter, or a mildly hot summer

30. hugs or kisses? .B O T H GIVE ME ALL OF THE AFFECTION THANKS

31. what book are you currently reading? none lmao

32. who do you miss right now? No one tbh whoops, (lets b real i miss taehyung even tho ive never met him xoxoxox luv u boo)

33. what is on your mouse pad? dnt have one oops

34. what is the last TV program you watched? CATFISH LOLOL

35. what is the best sound? I love the sound Taehyung makes when hes getting a massage from Jimin :^)

36. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? Rolling Stones bye

37. what if the furthest you have ever travelled? I dnt even kno lmao

38. do you have a special talent? nah

39. where were you born? Washington state ayo

ok my luvs, i am tagging u pals and ofc u dont have to do this xoxoxo @izwing @agustvi @ihsoh @jennita-jenny

#wow who cud these people b ? !?!? !? ?! ?#thirst club unite #u guys dont have 2 do this its ok lmaoo o o o o

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konekochiii · 7 years

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O—->>Naruto Tag Game <<—-O Tagged by @sausage-fist F A V O R I T E Female Character - Eh....eh.........Tsunade Male Character -SASUKE Team - Team 7 Sensei - Kakashi Hokage - 6th KAKASHI YAYAYAYAYA Kage - Gaara; best Kate of the year Village - Konoha has the best yield to date. Akatsuki Member - Ugh, Deidara. Jutsu - Electric Giraffe Episode/Chapter - Episode "The one where SASUKE fucking does during the Haku fight" cuz it literally changed my life. Fight Scene - The Valley of The End BOTH TIMES. Also any time when the animation was 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽 Fanfiction - I can't remember any now. Except this one that Aerielle insists that I told her all about. Something having to do with Naruto and Sasuke having to spit water to each other. ...yeah. Story Arc - The one that was all about SASUKE and shitty Team Hebi. Filler - Any episodes that mildly focused on SASUKE. PARTICULARLY the one where naruto and SASUKE got their hands stuck together and they had to piss next to each other. Yeah. That's the quality filler you need. What is your… OTP (explain why) - Naruto and Sasuke. You can call me a fucking whatever it is but when I hear the words "You guys perfectly compliment each other. Despite your differences, you're still fighting to get to the other" in a million different ways for this and that reason, I want them to be together because I believe when you find someone like that, that's it. I've never really considered gender to stop relationship pairings in my entire shipping career. It's probably why I stopped caring about shipping in newer shows. Because it's soul crushing to know that if either one of Naruto or Sasuke was a girl, they would have been together in the end NO FUCKING QUESTION. NoTP (without being a dick, explain why) -Sakura and Sasuke. Uh, also I can be a fucking dick. It's the internet. You asked, I'll fucking tell you. If anyone read the actual ATMOSPHERE of ANYTHING between Sasuke and Sakura's interactions, you'd get a lukewarm amount of chemistry between them AT BEST. Yes, Sasuke considered Sakura his friend as a part of TEAM 7. Yes, they did share a couple of moments with the whole Orochimaru thing. Yes, I recognize Sakura has FUCJING pined over Sasuke's fine ass for YEARS. WE ALL DID. But there isn't any sense in saying things like "YAS QUEEN SAKURA FINALLY GOT HER MAN" for what. For vague reasons that overall dishonor her character and any little development she made? Her forgiving Sasuke after he made a legitimate attempt on her life DESTROYED her as a character. Kishi made her to be that little 12 year old girl again, crying her eyes out over a boy who won't look at her. Yeaaaaaah. I love it when characters are put to get her by default. It's always a good feeling. Crackship/s - meh. I don't like ships that don't feel right. I will support any ship that someone had explained though. BroTP - Guy/Kakashi lmao Living together like old men aaaaa OT3 - Team 7 all the way. Give me all the fan art with them interacting. Their story is a sweet one (if you don't get too specific. Which is impossible) Crossover ship - If you wanna crossover Sasuke and me (the main protagonist of my life) then I guess that's the most accurate answer to this question. M I S C E L L A N E O U S Do you have any headcanons? - Sasuke has unintentionally made friends with plenty of people but is too emotionally distant to care but still polite enough to nod in their general direction. Lakshmi and guy live together, babysitting children until they're old enough to take care of themselves. Sakura cries knowing Sasuke doesn't really love her. Sarada is the product of a drink night on the town. Though Sasuke very much appreciates Sakura raising Sarada and couldn't think of anyone who would do a better job rearing a child so.... #sorrynotsorry Are you happy with the ending? 👿👿👿👿 How do you feel about the Next Generation? - I actually love those children. If I ignore the fact that their parents' characters and personalities were stomped on for the sake of producing them and prolonging my agony, then I enjoy them very much. Say something about your favorite character. - I think of him when my mind goes through a lull. Which is constantly. It's strange to consider some character that was created by someone else as important as I do. It's truly something...to say the least but I still don't know if it is a good or a bad thing. It's probably better he doesn't exist where I can get to him. You know. For his sake. What would a child between your OTP look like? - Hmm. I guess he'd look like that parallel universe naruto. Menma? With the black hair and the whiskers. I think people like making an AU where Naruto and SASUKE have Menma as a kid. Say something genuinely nice about your NoTP. - :0 Damn, they made one amazing little girl who's going to be the future Hokage. I can't deny my love for her. And I guess. Maybe. I'm glad Sasuke has a wife who adores him. He needs that. And Sakura. Is a good Mom. (Fucking pulling my teeth out here.) Say something negative about your OTP. - ...........................................................I guess beating the shit out of each other sometimes wouldn't be too fun. Is there any way you could be convinced to ship your NoTP? Nah. drake.jpg oh wait. Yes. If a PIG COULD FLY THEN- What makes you mad about the series? - It went on too long and then had a very rushed ending. It probably would have been better if it didn't get as popular as it did. ALSO WHY DID YOU TAKE NEJI AWAY FROM US YOU GOD DAMN If you could see anything happen in the series, what would it be? Please let Sasuke rest. Look at him, he's fucking tired and he's got the tired eye bags and please let him cut his hair or grow it out more it's like it's in the awkward length stage oh and can someone fashionable please dress Sasuke better he's kind of clueless when it comes to that and also I could go on and it all has to do with Sasuke. In your opinion… Most attractive male? Oooooo Madara. He's SO FINE (I'm sorry Sasuke but you've inherited those good looks from the best!) Most attractive female? They all kinda look the same tho....in his style.... No one but Tsunade sticks out to me..... Most overestimated? Hmmm Kabuto. Not appreciated enough? Iruka. What is the greatest thing about Naruto? The friends I made along the way. The worst? The friends I lost along the way. LMAO The saddest moment? NEJI The most DEFINING MOMENT? Hmm. Hmm.... maybe when Naruto says "Because I'm your friend." I think about it a lot. Not that I have or want a lot of friends. But because I want to be kind to people. I can't be an undying believer like Naruto. He's one in a trillion. But I can be a good person and a friend to people who need me. So I try. Rant about anything… I've ranted plenty. But I will say that Naruto is the best thing that could have happened to me when I was 11/12. I ended up being friends with a lot of good people. I guess it sounds silly to say that it taught me really important life lessons. I sort of met my wife thanks to it by extension. I got a cool Konoha symbol tattoo. And it gave me a haunted relationship with a grumpy dude. So thanks for the memories. I tag my fellow Naruto follower fans. :0 It was a blast from the past. Stirring up memories I didn't want to have stirred up tonight. LMAO.

#me #naruto #naruto ask meme

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dragimal · 8 years

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Your tags on that RWBY post fucking summarize all of my thoughts on RWBY Jesus Christ. I mean, I appreciate the show and the work that people put into it, but it's so flawed. It just drives me nuts when people blindly follow it because of its RT ties. I like RWBY but I will gladly point out what's wrong with it AND still find a way to like it. (Also, why the fuck are people bustin a nut for the figures, they're really ugly I think 🙈)

LMAO I’m glad someone else considers it more of a guilty pleasure show! it’s a fun show and I do love to learn more abt the RWBY world, but I just can’t find it in myself to get -super- invested in it b/c of those problems w/ plot, overused tropes, etc. like I honestly can’t even call it a ‘good’ show, all I can say w/ 100% truth is that it’s fun/entertaining. but is that entertainment from intense plotlines, gripping dialogue, or developed character arcs? not… rly..?… (in fact, I’ve cringed at character dialogue on a number of occasions lmao)

and it’s kinda sad b/c there ARE super interesting ideas there (the weapons, Grimm, and the like), but there are just so many other things that don’t have explanation (IE- faunus), or they don’t have any parameters (IE- semblance). and y’know these things COULD be forgivable in a different show w/ a better handle on plot development and all, but as it is they’re pretty distracting

even Grimm, an element of the world I find interesting, always seem so vague. it just feels like there’s a lost opportunity there for more interesting eldritch/psychological horror, or even ethical implications if Grimm do have some sort of sentience/awareness

I already slightly ranted abt how faunus are a boring excuse for a humanoid species, but I srsly just gotta get a lil’ more off my chest abt them b/c oh my god. it may be nit-picky of me to get into evolutionary feasibility here, but I’m a bio major w/ an interest in realistic creature design, so it’s kinda my thing. there are just no parameters for what nonhuman traits faunus have, they’ve got all KINDS of species and it’s just so frustrating b/c like? ram horns wouldn’t be useful on a human b/c the rest of our bodies aren’t built to handle skull/spine impact like ram bodies are? monkey tails (or paper-thin feather boas, in RWBY’s case) wouldn’t be useful b/c our spines/hips aren’t built to handle the force of hanging, nor are they structured to allow us easy crouching/climbing (our ancestors may have been arboreal, but we’re upright nowadays for a reason). why do ALL faunus have good night vision– not every animal is nocturnal and relies on good night vision. and, most importantly, what the FUCK is up with the ears? why are there two sets? are we expected to believe that there are two sets of ear canals, or are the nonhuman ears just for display? display for WHAT tho? nothing abt faunus makes sense if you think about the fact that nonhuman parts only work ON THE ANIMAL THEY EVOLVED FOR. I know the design team was prolly goin for the “cat girl trope” but with a twist, but the twist is even more convoluted than the original trope

and don’t even get me STARTED on how the “racial tension” was handled here. I’m not gonna get into the obvious parallels w/ human racism, b/c it’s not my place (tho I def think that angle could have been handled a lot better). let me just say as someone intensely interested in both animal rights and ethology, I don’t appreciate the whole, “we’re not animals!!” rhetoric. like…. we’re all animals… humans are animals… faunus are MULTIPLE animals… get tf over urselves and don’t put down other species just to build urselves up…

it’s also a big pet peeve of mine when magic/powers don’t have some sort of “quantifiable” explanation– some restrictions that let me know what the magic is, how it works, and what specific powers/properties are possible within those magical constraints. it’s part of the reason I’m usually not big on superhero stories b/c super powers could be literally anything without any restrictions (which is, ironically, pretty boring), and that’s what I get from RWBY’s semblance. I’m kinda behind on the show right now, so idk if this is delved into later on, but I super don’t get why Ruby’s time-freezing power is considered so novel when literally every other conceivable power also exists SOMEWHERE in the world. like, sure, it’s powerful, but I don’t see why it’s so ground-breaking, y’know?

AND ONE MORE THING I’d REALLY SUPER APPRECIATE more practical clothes for the gals. like I know some of the guys have some impractical outfit choices too, but it’s just so much more for the girls. like are girls even allowed to wear pants in that universe or what? and I guess I could complain abt the same-face/same-body character models (at least guys vs. girls), but I’m not familiar w/ animation restrictions here so I’ll just leave that alone. still real boring and mildly irritating to see tho, esp when I just want to see some diversity (and less cisgender-stereotype bodies, but that’s already too much to ask from most big-time shows, much less internet-based shows so I can’t rly expect much here… I just WANT it……..)

LMAO SORRY I RANTED I JUST NEEDED TO VENT A LIL’. I rly do love the show, it’s just… it could be SO MUCH MORE y’know?

as for the figures, yeahhhhh they’ve never seemed quite right to me. the poseable Ruby at least looks nice, but the static figures are uh… a little off…

#long post #shut up ashley #evelyn beep #evelyn-beep #I feel kinda bad ripping on it so much here b/c it's not like I'm SUPER passionate abt the show #not enough to love it OR hate it #I guess I just had a lot of thoughts abt it #that I didn't realize were waiting to come out lmao #rwby

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elfyourmother · 8 years

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i honestly feel like that same argument could be had in every single fandom w a black character

i remember way back when there was a viv appreciation month, the initial announcement post got well over 2k notes, and yet going in the tag, works were getting crickets.

it was wild

I took and filled fic prompts. i spent real actual money commissioning artwork. liked and reblogged other ppl’s stuff. so i did my part. and then i saw ppl complaining that there wasn’t enough content. ppl who didn’t do SHIT to contribute or even like, reblog the stuff that was there

it was so frustrating

i swear there is a culture of outrage in fandom

that’s not to say it’s illegitimate or unfounded outrage or that ppl be angry just to be angry

but take what happened today. even on something that isn’t race-related. I complain or am critical or negative abt something. boom tons of notes. everyone can’t wait to talk abt that. my fic? LMAO. and like it’s always that way, it’s been that way as long as I can remember here. I have rants on viv’s writing or even just mildly critical posts that have gone viral into hundreds of notes when my fic abt her got a tiny fraction of that at best.

that type of shit is part of why i peaced out for so long. it gets so entirely exhausting when ppl only seem to care about the shit you say when you’re angry, or even just critical. just constantly feeding off of and wanting negativity.

all of that said, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a larger problem w klandom at large that needs to change, in terms of how they engage w content and specifically w characters of color. that is a severe problem. we can make everything we want but we get drowned out regardless. even if ppl did get their shit boosted it’s still a drop in the bucket. that’s a gd problem and we can’t fix that on our own.

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kyberled · 8 years

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☀ ♦ ♥ ☢ ✖

the salty af munday meme

☀ What’s your rp pet peeve? –> Ship forcing. This is literally the best way to get me to unfollow or even block another mun. I’ll explain what ship-forcing is below, but yeah, that’s one of them.

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? –> See above. It happened once on my Warren blog, and once very recently on here. Now, a bit of a definition, here - I don’t see ship-forcing as asking me if I want to ship, or saying your muse has a crush on Braig - heck, that can be flattering (though I prefer if we know each other, first - it can get a bit uncomfy for me, kind of like virtual catcalling, I guess, when complete strangers tell me how attractive they think Braig is). I don’t see it as someone’s muse having feelings for Braig, one-sided or otherwise. All of these things are A-Okay, and can be quite fun, too! What I do see ship forcing is when someone asks if they can ship with Braig, and instantly, as soon as I say ‘we can give it a try’, deciding that our muses are suddenly soulmates, even if they’ve hardly said four sentences to each other, before. I see it as asking to ship, then immediately dropping the thread where they were actually in the process of meeting each other to have them now in the middle of a date, which, given the context of where, when, and how said date was taking place would likely have gotten them both killed. I see it as pestering Braig to do something ‘romantic’, having both Braig and I say no, he doesn’t want to, and the other person keeps pushing, regardless, or getting upset when Braig decides to respond with something not romantic and replying to that with some rude, snarky comment. ‘Uh, I think [muse] wanted Braig to do [X], actually’ - Yes, that has happened, before. I’ve been vagueblogged about, spammed on and off anon, been told I’ve made peoples’ depression/anxiety worse, had on-blog events ruined and muses killed and simply been harassed at all hours of the day because of ship-forcing and my trying to deal with it gently and politely, instead of just flat-out saying ‘no’ or ‘I’m not comfortable with this’. So, if it ever seems like I’m coming down too hard on someone in regards to shipping, I swear I don’t mean to come off as abrasive or rude - I just learned the hard way that you’ve gotta be blunt about your comfort zones or else things go south faster than a flock of geese on an adrenaline high. Basically, to sum this novel up: As long as you respect my boundaries, we’re good; if I haven’t told you you’re skeeving me out, we’re good. If I have told you you are, and you keep doing whatever it was, we’re not so good.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over? –> I don’t really keep up with trends enough to know lmao. I mean I guess I’ve seen a few, but they don’t really bother me. You do you, and all… Though, I guess I never entirely understood the whole ‘personified objects’ thing? I mean, you do you, and all, but it just never made sense to me.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started? –> It hasn’t, not really. I think the only real changes have been purely aesthetic, like small text, contained themes, etc. I really don’t care what other people do, as long as they’re happy and not hurting anyone.

♥ What’s the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

[Under a cut for length]

Okay, so, I told two of my rp horror stories over on Xig, so I’ll tell my third one here. Since I gave the other two pseudonyms, we’ll call this one ‘Cheeper’. Cheeper was someone I had met when a mutual friend we’ll call Battery allegedly recommended my blog to them. Now, Battery was someone I had approximately zero problems with. Really friendly, sweet guy, talented writer, great sense of humour, one of my favourite people to write with. So, I figured, if Cheeper was a friend of Battery’s, they must be cool, too, right? … Wrong. So, things start out okay-ish, as they always do, but things get downhill pretty fast. Starts off with small things, like ignoring asks or dropping literally all of our threads without letting me know. And I understand wanting to drop threads or not being able to get to everything in your ask box, but when that happens consistently, it gets a little disheartening.

The next little thing was when they started making AUs of my muse, and expecting me to write them. Lemme say here that I am totally fine with people suggesting AUs for my muses. That’s where this blog came from, Rodi suggesting a Star Wars AU where another one of my muses was Obi’s padawan, so, again, I’m fine with AU prompts. What I’m not fine with is when someone writing a really detailed version of my muse without consulting me at all, and then expecting me to write that AU they made with no warning and no problems. Cheeper comes into my IMs listing this novel-length AU detailing not only how their muse changed, but how mine did, as well. Basically, the entire idea was that their muse, who in canon was a big tank-type character who had been straight-up abusive to multiple characters, and turned them into a small, fluffy little mage who was actually a good guy and hadn’t done any bad things, and was being forced to do the bad guys’ dirty work, whereas my muse… Was suddenly the abusive one. For absolutely no reason. In a way that not only completely contradicted all of my personal headcanons - all of which were posted and easily viewable on my blog - but also went against all of what canon had showed us about my muse, and quite frankly made me really uncomfortable. I mean, you’ve seen some of the stuff I’ve written, you know I’m down to write some pretty messed up stuff, but to straight up turn my muse into a child abuser, WITHOUT CONSULTING ME AT ALL, just so your muse can be the good guy? That doesn’t fly so well. On top of that, writing such a detailed version of my muse and expecting me to play it for you? Why not write it yourself? I mean like I said, I am thrilled with AU suggestions, but, hell, keep it to a sentence or two, tops. Let me experiment and develop my muse to fit the AU myself, thanks. … And, while these things were pretty irritating, especially when a few of them happened over and over again, it got worse.

A lot of the time, when I’m having OOC conversations to get to know another mun before we start writing together, I look for a sort of ‘spark’ or ‘click’ - something that shows this person and I are gonna get along. For a lot of people, including my favourite partners, this click is basically immediate - just this instant ‘wow, we’re gonna be good friends, this is great!’, and, for others, it takes a bit longer, and that’s totally okay! Some people take a while to open up, or maybe it wasn’t a good day for one of us, I totally get it, happens to me, too. How quickly the click happens has absolutely NO BEARING ON MY OPINION OF A PERSON WHATSOEVER. There have been I think only three or four times I haven’t clicked with someone - twice on Warren, once on Xig, and once here. If I message you first, send asks, tag you in things, like your posts, etc, we’ve clicked, don’t worry. Anyway, Cheeper was one of these rare occurrences where there was not only no click, there was the opposite of a click. At first I thought it was just ‘cause our first convo was a bit awkward - from what I remember, it was basically just ‘hi, My name is [Cheeper], I’m [Battery]’s friend and he recommended your blog so I thought I’d give you a follow’, you know, typical ‘hi, nice to meet you’ type thing, I didn’t think much of it. Unfortunately, that was the only pleasant conversation we had.

You see, Cheeper had the habit of starting conversations with some variation of ‘how are you?’. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Well, in typical Canadian fashion, I always did my best to follow social protocol and be polite, and say ‘I’m good/fine/great, thanks, how are you?’, and, much like Han Solo, I learned that there are some situations you shouldn’t ask that question. Every time, without fail, Cheeper would say some variation of ‘bad’ or ‘horrible’, and proceed to dump literally all their life’s problems on me, and I mean all of them. I’m perfectly fine with letting my friends vent/rant to me as much as they need, and offering advice is a pass-time of mine. But, I had only known this person for- Less than a week, when this started (I hardly even knew their NAME I had to look it up on their blog), and they kept going on and on about some really personal shit, like hours of how they hated their job and school was stressful, and their family was aphobic and never used the right pronouns, literally everything about their personal life, no matter how private it was, just- Constant negativity, all the time. It was literally all they spoke about, ever. I don’t know anything else about them, just that their life was terrible and they decided to use me as some sort of verbal stress ball. Even if I tried to divert the conversation to a different topic, or just ignore them entirely, I’d still get floods of negativity and complaints. And what makes it even better? They had a frickin therapist! This person, who had a professional, trained therapist, would spend hours unloading all of their mental/emotional burdens on me, an untrained stranger who had only said ‘hi’ to them once. And, after they had dumped all their baggage on me, they’d say, ‘oh, gotta go, it’s time to go to my therapist’. And, honestly? That was the only time I felt safe to post on my blog. Yes, you read that right - it was the only time I felt safe to post on my own blog. I honestly could not make a post on my blog without Cheeper spamming my IMs with boatloads of stress-inducing negativity. And, call me selfish, call me insensitive, call me whatever you want, but, fuck, I had my own problems! I was in university, trying to get law school level grades, while working a part time job to try and help my family out when we were struggling financially, doing what I could to make sure there was enough food in the fridge for my younger brothers, trying to help my grandma take care of my grandpa, trying to keep up with my martial arts - which I have to do in order to keep my job - and trying to write multiple essays for both my younger brother and myself, as we were prepping for our black sash tests, but he was also trying to get into film school, so I’d volunteered to write the sash essays for him, and, let me tell you, I did not need to play counsellor to someone I didn’t even know on top of that. And, like I said, this happened constantly, and I’d get a new flood of messages every time I so much as hinted at being online.

And believe it or not, it got worse, Sakrine.

I remember there was one conversation we had (’conversation’ being used loosely, of course) towards the end of our interactions where Cheeper was complaining at me, as per usual, and mentioned how all of their friends were blocking them without saying why. Funnily enough, I was planning on blocking them soon, myself (probably should have done it a long time ago). But, lo and behold, right after saying how they were always getting blocked, Cheeper goes and says ‘but you’d never block me, so at least I have you. You’re my best friend, Jay’. And I’m sitting here really uncomfortable because, uh, no, we’re not best friends, and I have no idea what gave them that idea, since I never told them anything of the sort, and in fact barely spoke to to them at all, both because I didn’t much care for their company, and because I could hardly get a word in edgewise - and, even if I could, how does one respond to a total stranger badgering you for advice on how to deal with their family not handling their being out well? I’m not out to my family, and I don’t think I ever will be, so, again, how can I give that sort of advice to someone I don’t know?

About the time this was happening was when I met and was chatting with Rodi, who’s actually one of my best friends and the light of my life. Like I mentioned above, it was at her suggestion that I decided to make this li’l OC mess that we know and love here. He was originally gonna be a verse on my other blog, until I realised that I’d have tags for a Jedi verse, a padawan verse, a Sith verse, etc., and that was too many for one AU, so I made a sideblog. Then, after only a day of having that, and a bit of encouragement from both Rodi and Milla (my main Talon), I made this stand-alone blog for my son, and I was having a great time.

Cheeper, however, was not, and made sure I knew it.

Now, my muse for that blog had been steadily dying, mostly because of this, but also for a few other, more minor reasons, and I felt way more comfortable here, was having more fun, and generally just enjoying myself way more on this blog than the other, so, naturally, this is where I spent most of my time. Within a day or two of my neglecting Xig, Cheeper pops into the IMs to complain about me, to me. Yes, I am dead serious, this is an actual thing that happened. They start badgering me to go back to my other blog, and, I dunno if this has ever happened to you, but, it’s really disheartening. I explained to Cheeper that I felt more comfortable on this blog (though I didn’t tell them why I felt that way on Xig; Perhaps I should’ve), that I had more drafts and asks on this blog, and that I had more muse for this character at the moment, so I’d be spending my time over here, at least for a little bit. Their oh-so-eloquent response was, and this is a verbatim quote, ‘boo, you suck.’ And I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that, so I didn’t. I just sat there, staring, feeling an interesting concoction of shocked, annoyed, and offended. About a minute later, they added a ‘lol, just kidding’, and proceeded to… Continue… To complain about me, as well as about their life and still expected me to give them advice and solutions I didn’t have. I’ve never had someone act more entitled to my time and energy as this person did.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking - ‘they were probably just some kid, Jay, young people can be like that at times, you’re taking it too hard’, and, hey, I thought so, too. I was nineteen years old when this was happening; Cheeper was around 24 or 25. Yup, this person was about five or six years older than me, and a grown-ass adult the entire time. And like I said, they were constantly acting entitled to everything I did, like I owed them something. There was another time where I’d actually gotten a bit of muse for my other blog back, so I went on, answered a bunch of asks, slammed out some drafts, sent some memes, answered some IMs… It was a really productive evening for me. Once I was finished, I came back here and got a bit more done. Next morning rolls around, and Cheeper messages me with ‘I miss you, dude. You’re never on Xig, any more.’ I tell them that, actually I’d been on last night, for a few hours, at least. Their response? ‘Well, I wasn’t on.’, after which they kept complaining about how much they missed my muse and my writing. I get this was probably supposed to be flattering, but it really wasn’t? Especially considering that, while they were going on and on about how much they missed me and wanted to write with me, they were completely ignoring the THREE STARTERS I had written for them in the weeks leading up to this point. Hadn’t even given them a like, which I like to do to let someone know that, even if I’m slow as all Hell - which I tend to be - I have seen it, and it’s in my drafts. So, I mentioned this to Cheeper, said ‘you know, I have a couple starters for you on the other blog, why don’t you check those out?’ ‘Oh, I didn’t see them, I’ll give them a look.’ And then, blissfully, they stopped messaging. Little while later, a few days, I got another message from them (keep in mind I never contacted them or interacted with them first, since, rude as it may sound, I was kind of hoping they’d get the message), and once again they were whining about how I was never on Xig again, so I went to check the starters again, and… Still no notes. So I ask them about the starters, and they say ‘I couldn’t find them’. You know how I looked them up? [my blog’s url]/tagged/[cheeper’s url], and, bam. There they were. I told Cheeper this and even sent them the link to their tag. They said okay, that they’d check it out later, and started complaining about their life again. I was serious when I said this was the only thing they talked about, outside of basically harassing me to write with them. Few days later, they get on my case AGAIN for not being on Xig/not rping with them. I check the THREE FUCKING STARTERS again, STILL NO NOTES. I ask, and ‘oh I just don’t have muse for them right now lol’. And I’m left sitting here like, okay, do you really want to write with me, or are you just mad I’m not dedicating all of my attention to you and your godawful AU muses? I mean, I have NOTHING against AU muses - that’s where this kiddo came from, after all - but AUS WHERE THEY PUSHED MY CHARACTER TO BE A FUCKING CHILD ABUSER WERE APPARENTLY ALL THEY HAD MUSE FOR. And my character was a moral fuckhead I admit but he WASN’T OVERTLY ABUSIVE THAT WAS ONE OF THE REASONS I WAS COOL PLAYING HIM AS THE ANTAGONIST HE WAS AND JUST. And as well, when I have no muse, it’s apparently a major fuckin’ disaster and they complain to the ends of the earth about it and go on and on about how I should still be writing that character and how much they miss me, but when THEY have no muse I have to accommodate it and make allowances and write with them anyway???? Like???

So anyway yeah they proceeded to ignore those starters for months, and every time I posted a new starter call,they’d like that, I’d post a starter, they’d completely ignore it, then come crying and complaining to me, berating me and all but sobbing about how much they missed me.

BUT IT GETS WORSE STILL, SAKRINE.

After a while, Cheeper starts asking me about Star Wars. And I’m torn between ‘fuck no, this is my new safe place, and I’m TRYING TO BE SAFE FROM YOU’ and ‘well maybe if they get into this series they’ll stop getting upset with me for not writing on a blog I have no muse for and am not comfortable on’. So they ask me what they need to watch to understand Star Wars. I tell them to watch the movies, since those are the unchanging canon, no matter what Disney did to the Legends material. Apparently they don’t even have the attention span for their favourite show, so they can’t watch the movies. They complain to me about that for a while, because apparently I care. I did not. I tell them that everything Star Wars - or at least, in the era I write in - revolves around those movies. I tell them they can just watch the PT (and explain what the different trilogies are) and that will get them caught up with where I write. Nope, can’t do that. So I tell them there are book versions of the movies they can read, instead, and there are also comics and stuff they can look into if that would be better.

Nope, don’t have the attention span for books.

Complain about that to me for a while, then ask what they absolutely HAVE to watch to understand.

I tell them about the Clone Wars show, give them a link to the relevant KissCartoon page. They ask how long the show is - I tell them the number of seasons (mention that 6 is unfinished), and the average length of an episode.

Nope, don’t have the attention span for that, either.

They reiterate that they hardly have the attention span for their favourite show, and once again complain to me before asking me what the /HAVE TO WATCH/ to understand.

I tell them that they’re free to try interacting with my muse on their KH blogs, since I’m open to crossovers and still, for some ungodly reason, trying to be civil.

They keep asking about star wars.

I mention the video games.

Don’t have the attention span for video games.

So this person, who apparently can’t watch movies or TV shows, or read books or comics, or play video games, is asking me what source material they need to know to roleplay a Star Wars verse.

I, as a last-ditch and mostly sarcastic effort, give them a link to Wookieepedia. I’m a terrible person, I know.

…

They don’t have the patience to look through the wiki pages.

I’m all but smashing my face against the keyboard now, while this person is COMPLAINING TO ME ABOUT HOW LONG STAR WARS IS.

I mean I get it’s a lot but I tried to break it down?? And last I checked I’m not George Lucas like I’m sorry but it’s not my fault, my problem, or in my power to change? And I tell them it’s 40 years worth of worldbuilding and try to help them break it down again and they just KEEP FUCKING COMPLAINING.

And after like. Two hours of me trying to reason with them and help them out they say ‘I’m not even interested in star Wars, I just want to write with you’.

And now, maybe I’m reading into it too much. Maybe I listen to too many narrated Let’s Not Meet videos too late at night. But holy shit, I have never felt like I had a legitimate stalker until that moment. It was one of the most uncomfortable things that has ever happened to me. I had zero idea how to respond, and so again I don’t think I did. Or, if I did, it was to again try to explain to them that there was a lot of material, and they should [leavemethefuckalone] focus on things they were interested in, especially if they didn’t think they could handle just the show. So they complain to me about that for a bit, before moving on to other topics to whine about. Always comes back to how I’m not writing with them any more (meanwhile, the countless starters I’ve written them are still being ignored, as are any and all threads we had on the go at the time. Everything’s either been ignored, abandoned, or both, all without letting me know.).I honestly don’t remember how that conversation ended. Just thinking about it makes me blank out and get a sort of mild pins-and-needles feeling. I mean, I get it was probably supposed to be flattering, and if we had been friends it might have been, but coming from this person? Alarm bells were ringing like a retro emergency evac PSE.

AND IT GETS WORSE STILL, BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON I STILL PUT UP WITH THIS PERSON.

So, enter me, just going back to uni for the spring/early summer semester. Our stage sets itself in my campus’ bookstore, at about noon or one o’clock in the afternoon. The line from the bookstore stretches from the counter, at one end of the store, wraps around the perimeter of that very large, very spacious room that was at one point a lecture hall, goes through the hall to the next room which also used to be a massive classroom, wraps around that and goes out the back door. I had to get up for an 8:30 that was across the field that day. I had non-stop class until this point, I had had no breakfast (though I think I had a sip of orange juice to keep from conking out), I had been waiting in line for close to an hour, my arms were full of heavy textbooks I dreaded having to pay for, and I only had one hand free for typing, and there was a chance I’d be late to my next class if this line didn’t get moving. As you can imagine, I wasn’t much in the mood for talking (though I think I made the effort for Rodi and Maddie (my best friend from public school who I still talk to) since I enjoy talking to them and it made me feel a bit better). Anyway, I’m in line, tired, irate, and scrolling through tumblr, and Cheeper messages me with a ‘hey’. Oh fuck, I think, this isn’t good. I greet them anyway - just a ‘hi’. I’m only giving one word answers at this point, since I’m not in a chatty mood, and, as I mentioned, I’m typing with just my thumb and that fucking sucks and takes forever, and I’m also trying to keep my place in line. Cheeper starts asking me about school, and I’m very confused, because never once in the months I’d known them had they ever taken an interest in me or my life. ‘so you’re in university right’ they ask. I remember most of this conversation word for word, and you’ll see why. ‘yeah’, I reply. ‘What year?’ they ask; ‘Second \o/’ I say, adding an emoji b/c I love that one. ‘Cool, what’s your major?’ they ask, and I’m getting hopeful that maybe they’ve turned a new leaf and my patience with them has been rewarded. So I tell them ‘Classics \O/’ with a slightly more excited emoji, and they tell me that’s cool, mention their major is in foreign languages - I think Chinese? Maybe Spanish? This is the one message I can never remember in its entirety, because the next one almost knocked me over. I replied with ‘cool’, and a half second later, Cheeper asks,

“Are you out to your family yet?”

This complete fucking stranger, this grown-ass adult I barely knew, straight up asked me if I was out to my family, yet. I have never been asked that question before or since. I am out only to people on tumblr, and a small group of my most trusted friends from high school. And this person had the fucking audacity to ask me right out if I was.

I was shocked.

I will not lie to you, I almost dropped my phone. I think I stopped breathing for a second, and I nearly lost my place in line. I was torn between just being frozen and being fucking livid. After a moment when I didn’t respond, they added, ‘Can I ask that?’ And I swear those two messages are tattooed into my mind.

“Are you out to your family yet?”

Holy fuck.

So I manage to collect myself enough to type out ‘no, I’m not’.

‘Damn,’ they say. ‘Because my mom keeps messing up my pronouns and I wanted to know if you have any advice.’

Because why the fuck else would they care about me, right?

And then they proceeded to complain about their life and their aphobic family to me AGAIN, for HOURS, but at that point I’d been ignoring their messages and was instead talking to Maddie for advice on how to handle the situation. I had no idea what to do. I was lost. Like. I wanted to block them so bad but they’d been subtly guilt-tripping me about it for so long (’you’d never block me, you’re my best friend’ was just the start of that, tbh) that I felt bad for it? And Maddie was just like ‘jay no that’s fucked up get rid of them’ and I did.

I have never once regretted it and holy fuck it feels amazing to get this shit off my chest.

And yeah, so.

That was one of my worst RP experiences.

Are you out to your family yet.

I’d sell them to Satan for half a stale corn chip I swear to Christ.

#n1hr1k #&& give the sun a head start; ooc #I wrote you an essay sakrine im sorry #&& as best i can; answers

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