#dont expect any more stories from me tho...

[norrisainz33]

celebrity crush || eo31

☆ summary: esteban gets the chance to meet his celeb crush at f175

☆ pairing: esteban ocon x famous!reader

☆ fc & warnings: bella hadid x none

☆ a/n: first esteban fic!!! if u saw me post this by accident before... no you didnt

masterlist

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new interview with esteban ocon has been posted

view transcript

[interviewer 1] so esteban -- its no secret that you are a very big fan of marvel and super heroes! can we expect to see more special super hero helmets this season?

[esteban] yes!! i have some exciting special helmets!! tho i dont want to give too much away but there will be one featured this season for sure

[interviewer 2] amazing, well we can't wait to see what you're cooking up!!

[interviewer 1] while we’re on the topic... a little birdy told us that a particular hero and actress were your favorite - y/n y/l/n?

[esteban] *laughs* oui y/n may or may not be my celebrity crush. i just think she is a fantastic actress and she plays one of my favorite characters in the marvel universe

[interviewer 1] well you're in luck esteban! the same little birdy told me that she's going to be in attendance at the f175 event tonight!

[esteban] no way! well i'm really going to have to get dressed up now eh?

estebanocon has posted to his private story

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lando: WHAT

estebanocon: mate i know

lando: you better shoot your shot

estebanocon: that’s the plan!

lando: i’m fairly certain lewis knows her…. let me see what i can do 😉

estebanocon: 😮

lance_stroll: now is your time to shine

estebanocon: wish me luck mon ami

olliebearman: **and for our livery reveal

estebanocon: well of course

haasf1team: our intel says she was invited by alpine (🤢) because of their owners. she'll be sat 2 tables away from us if my seating chart is accurate

estebanocon: admin you are my HERO

haasf1team: you’re our hero estie

abbipulling: if you don't catch her im going to be disappointed

estebanocon: going to try my hardest!

teamestebanocon: good luck boss man

estebanocon: ❤️

ynuser has posted to their story

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user1: LONDON?!

user2: are you in london bc they’re making you the new queen? or…..

lando: my friend esteban ocon would give you a car if they don’t let you keep that one

teamestebanocon: my friend esteban ocon saved some cats from a burning building today and let me borrow his ferrari. i’m sure you could borrow his car too

user3: mother mother mother

estebanocon: 😍 looking forward to seeing you at the o2 later!

haasf1team: we can’t get you an alpine but we can get you some paddock passes to attend a race with a superior team 🫣

ynuser: hmmm is the monaco gp on the table?

haasf1team: OMG

haasf1team: sorry… i mean yes! any gp is on the table!

lewishamilton: and this is how i find out you're coming tonight?

ynuser: surpriseeee!!!! hehe sorry lewy. ive been so busy i forgot to reach out

lewishamilton: all good y/n! i'm looking forward to seeing you. p.s. i promised one of my fellow drivers that i'd introduce you to someone so be ready

ynuser: cryptic but fair. are they cute at least 👀

lewishamilton: i'll let you decide that one for yourself

user4: ok she’s a car girl now?

yourbff: no no get a pink lambo baby not this white alpine nonsense

ynuser: you're so right

zendaya: pleaseeeee come visit tom and i tomorrow

ynuser: done and done. i miss you both more than anything in the whole world

user5: i’ll buy whatever it is you’re selling

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, user7, user8, user9, and 14,320 others

f1gossip: marvel superstar and fashion icon, y/n y/l/n, has graced the f175 red carpet! its said that she's here at the request of her costar/alpine investor. we wouldn't be properly reporting if we didn't also tell you that she was spotted talking with lando norris and esteban ocon after lewis hamilton appeared to introduce his fellow drivers to his superstar friend. esteban has publicly said on multiple occasions that y/n is his celebrity crush - could our very own esteban have shot his shot? we'll keep you updated if we hear anymore.

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ynfan1: WHO THAT IN THE MIDDLE SLIDE

ynfan2: no fr.... im looking.....respectfully....... should i get into f1?

user31: pls look away this is a family affair

user1: my two worlds colliding

user12: KJFGHJFGHKJDFGNKJNFG

user2: well thank goodness you stayed calm

user8: so what im learning from this is if i talk about my crush enough,,, i'll get to meet them

user12: the all brown leather is serving so hard its insane

user13: they should just put her on stage instead of the cars.. i'd rather watch that

ynuser has made a post

liked by estebanocon, lewishamilton, lando, tomholland2013, marvel, sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo, and 2,432,758 others

ynuser: what a wonderful weekend in london

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tatemcrae: you’re a literal goddess

ynuser: you're the literal love of my life

user4: mamacita

f1: always great to see you! [liked by ynuser]

user31: WHO gave you those flowers? quick esteban look away

user2: maybe it WAS esteban who gave her the flowers!!

user8: didnt they like just meet like 72 hours ago?

user2: yes but like they could have hit it off!!!

user31: ya know what user2..... maybe you're on to something

user8: y'all can't be normal abt nothin huh

ynfan: who is esteban?

user9: oh boy

estebanocon: was a pleasure meeting you!

ynuser: right back at you! 🌹

user2: omg she responded someone check on estie

user10: oh that last slide feels intentional...the black and red like haas.....noticing things......

lewishamilton: missed you my friend

ynuser: missed you more lew

user5: looks like im getting into f1 now

ynuser has posted to their story

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user1: i promise whatever the person who is getting to take you out is offering,,,, i can do one better 😭😭😭😭

lando: 👀

ynuser: 🤨

user14: pls just one chance 😫

estebanocon: mon dieu you looked incredible tonight. thank you for a wonderful evening y/n/n

ynuser: thank you esteban! you looked quite handsome yourself

ynuser: let me know if this is too much but… i’d really like to keep seeing you

estebanocon: too much?? don’t be silly y/n. i’d love nothing more

ynuser: thank god - i was a bit nervous you wouldn’t be interested

estebanocon: have you not seen the multiple interviews of me publicly crushing on you? 😅😅😅😅

ynuser: hahahaa i have but still

estebanocon: no buts

estebanocon: wanna come watch me race in melbourne?

yourbff: what is this????? details immediately???

ynuser: you know how i went to that f1 event? well one of the vroom vroom guys was confident enough to ask me to grab drinks and he just was so incredibly handsome so i said yes…. and then at drinks he bewitched me with his french charm and now we went to dinner and i think i might like him like him

yourbff: you know what … i think being a wag suits you honestly

user22: feeling like montoya rn

tatemcrae: PAUSE! are you on a date?

ynuser: yes

tatemcrae: CALL ME RN

user25: idk how to bounce back from this ill be fr

ynuser has posted to their story

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user4: chat we’ve lost her

tatemcrae: i can't believe this

ynuser: neither can i ... honestly i never thought the day would come where i found a partner that was willing to put up with all the craziness that i bring to the table but he's so incredible

tatemcrae: literally could cry rn. i am endlessly happy for you y/n!!! you deserve nothing but happiness

user2: AUSGP YOURE GOING TO THE AUSGP I JUST KNOW IT

lewishamilton: roscoe is wondering where his thank you treats are for making this happen

ynuser: roscoe or you?

lewishamilton: both

ynuser: i'll bring them to the paddock 😉

user19: adding melbourne to my bucket list rn

estebanocon: oh mon ange, we are in soft launch territory now?

ynuser: yes! you said that was ok? 😫😫 i can take it down!!!

estebanocon: yes mon amor! just teasing you 😘

user31: you can't tell me thats not esteban ocon omg

lance_stroll: was wonderful to meet you this evening!

ynuser: it was a pleasure meeting you!!! let's hang out more xxoo

ynuser has made a post

liked by estebanocon, haasf1team, lance_stroll, tatemcrae, zendaya, tomholland2013, jackhughes, and 2,987,345 others

ynuser: oh but you've got a sports car

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user2: is this supposed to be a soft launch bc you ain't slick girl ik that’s esteban’s car

tatemcrae: while you drive it real far 😉

lando: uhhh hey... while you're here.....

ynuser: good bye lando!

user18: literally sick with jealousy

estebanocon: ❤️

ynuser: 🤍

ynfan1: yup alright im into f1 now too

haasf1team: thanks for joining us y/n! black and red are your colors 😍

ynuser: i think so too

user24: i’d like to thank beyoncé for y/n’s appearance at the ausgp

roscoelovescoco: come to silverstones toos!! i misses yous

ynuser: anything for you my love

user43: i seriously have no one to talk to abt this and im about to crash out

user87: join f1twt and you will

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated!! lmk if you’d like more estie fics- i’ve noticed he doesn’t get a lot of love on here 🫶🏻

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disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[sapphicflower-ao3]

what are ur personal favorite fics? i can be a bit picky and have a hard time finding fics but i love ur writing and i feel like we might have similar tastes based on that :3

i'm sorry it took me like a week to get to this!! i wanted to compile my faves and write notes for each of them... and i went overboard LOL. but thanks so much omg, i'm flattered that you would trust my taste based on my writing!

these are all bkdk obviously :)

i. 'In Case of Fire' - passengerside

post-canon // complete // 11K // E

an absolute MASTERPIECE!!! this author has become a recent favourite of mine, i love the way they incorporate little details into their work and make the mundane so beautiful.

highly recommend all of their other works, especially 'Pacemaker'! so freaking beautiful and fun and the lead up to the confession was a genuine holding-my-breath moment

ii. 'Sun Hands' - yesthisisnarumi

snowboarding AU // complete // 5K // T

i've re-read this one so many times it's SOOOOO good! so fun and so classically bkdk it's insane. everybody say thank you OP for giving us the rival olympic champions to lovers story we needed

iii. 'all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing' - maxisnotokay

UA compliant // complete // 11K // T

i dont usually read a lot of whump but this was brilliant, im a sucker for this specific trope and for LOVE CONFESSIONS YEASS!!! obvi it has a happy ending bc i wouldnt have it any other way. a good length too :)

iv. 'Spinnin' On Our Feet' - sage_and_cinnamon

High School AU // ongoing // 47K // M

UNDERRATED AS FUCK and my favourite ongoing fic right now. i usually dont read jock x nerd AUs but this fic is so brilliantly funny and charming and heartwarming and it blew all my expectations out of the water and then some. i've been following it for ages and it's been on hiatus for a good while, but it updated recently and when i tell you it was the best day of my freaking life...

v. 'In Perfect Rhythm' - chalk

Band AU // complete // 50K // E

yes how surprising, a band AU fic in my faves list. anyway shut up, chalk is literally godlike in their writing and this fic was SO FUN and scratched all the itches. nothing gets me going more than awkwardly endearing izuku n rockstar katsuki

vi. 'Last Days of War' - antisora

Pacific Rim AU // complete // 44K // M

GENUINELY ONE OF HUMANITY'S BEST PIECES OF LITERATURE???? fuck. i never have the proper words for this fic, but it is SO gripping and the worldbuilding is so tight and their relationship development is so good and the CLIMAX OF THIS HAS BEEN MORE EPIC THAN HALF THE BLOCKBUSTERS I'VE SEEN. i beg you to read this even if you have never watched Pacific Rim. or maybe go watch the movie and get EDUCATED and then read this! i'm begging you, dear reader!!

vii. 'Ingenium' - crandberrycrush

Astronauts AU // complete // 85K // E

guys i love sci-fi sorry lol. this one is another brilliant fic. OP put so much blood, sweat and tears into research and it shows, it is just very intelligent and the plot itself is HEART RACING and GUTTING and THRILLING. there's a lot of POVs and it really fleshes it out, tho ofc bkdk is the main thing. happy ending obvi! it is the space/astronaut drama that i love and adore, just BKDKified now!

viii. 'The Magic in a Mirror' - totallyrottentomatoes

Magic/Circus AU // complete // 80K // E

oh how surprising, a totallyrottentomaoes fic in my faves list. anyone who knows me knows that i rec this fic all the time. it's one of my all time favourites, if not my favourite of all time lol, and it's really because of the writing and the imagery and the characterisation and the relationships b/w all the characters. it's all just so well done and MAGICAL. no joke, if i could print and bind a fic into a book, it would be this one. no notes. perfection. caters to my tastes so specifically. i could go on about this fic forever but i'll shut up for now

also highly recommend 'The Distance Between Suns' by this author - it's a high fantasy epic with TIGHT AS FUCK worldbuilding, brilliantly written, the romance is BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN, the payoffs are amazing, etc... this deserves to be published and revered

ix. 'Battle of the Bands' - roadtripwithlucifer

Band AU // complete // 168K // E

look i know i always rec this fic, i just can't help that it's like my favourite thing ever. roadtripwithlucifer and totallyrottentomatoes my BELOVEDS. the humour in this fic is so fucking yummy and brilliant, the writing is gorgeous in typical roadtrip fashion, the stakes are gripping, the climax is thrilling, the romance n yearning is INTENSE, the sex is hot as hell, the ending is so satisfying, just..... the whole package.

and while you're here, read other roadtripwithlucifer works like 'Nothing Else Fills' if you feel like destroying your heart :) an angsty and beautifully written time-travel-to-save-my-kacchan-gone-wrong war AU fic. i love OP's works but her more recent fics (eg. after battle of the bands) have had some of her best writing. i adore it when you can feel how an author has poured their soul into their work, you can always feel it in a roadtripwithlucifer work and it's just the cherry on top

x. 'Scar Tissue' - Loriqod

canon-compliant // complete // 18K // E

loriqod is another author with a characterisation that i fuck with so hard... this one was so full of that Yearning and Tension that i so vibe with. bonus points to the plots focus on bkdk's scars like yes pls more of that <3

anyway i might make a part 2 some other time, these are just the ones i grabbed from my public bookmarks. i have a lot of private ones and some of them i forgot to make public oops

hope u find smth u enjoy!

[jaydenism]

A spoiler for Kana5 and a bit of an analysis on Mafumom and theories on Mafu6

In Kana5 we're starting to see just what kind of character is Mafumom in a light not affected by coldness but with warmth

Kana5 ends with Mafudad inviting Mafuyu to finally talk to her mother and Mafuyu wanted Kanade to come with

We were finally starting to see what kind of person Mafumom is and how her guilty she feels when she realized how much she really hurted Mafuyu

Mafumom thought she was doing the right thing, the best for her daughter but once she realizes that she was doing the exact opposite of that, i feel as if she wants to change

I always felt afraid of her and how good the writing of the character but i always felt like she was never a bad person but just someone who made some really bad decisions

In Mafu6 i feel like we're going to see that light of warmth from Mafumom, I feel like she would listen more and actually consider Mafuyu's feelings

I feel like Mafu6 is finally the event where Mafuyu actually starts to finally heal and be herself

meanwhile with Kanade..

I feel like she would feel like she's falling behind, Everyone is moving on without her and i feel like she would feel stuck

i feel like she wouldn't accept that her song won't save Mafuyu and that Mafumom loves Mafuyu

She's seen it with her own eyes yet she still can't accept it, accept that her songs won't save anyone just relive them

i think that in mafu6 or in any future niggo events she finally realized that she never truly saved anyone she just managed to give them enough hope for them to not give up and finally take action

and that would cause her to go into what seemed like a never ending spiral of despair

because if she never saved anyone then what was she good for? she failed at the one thing she was good at, her only purpose in life is to compose songs that could save someone and if she can't even do that then there is really no point in living anymore, is there?

though im pretty sure it will be pretty subtle about it because Kanade always push her emotions aside but she can't push them forever and i think that she would occasionally snap here and there just like the main story

Kana5 is only the rising action so i really am afraid of what will happen in the climax i bet its gonna be so much worse than any of us will expect

Anyways sorry for the rant, i just felt as if you were a good person to rant abt something like this im still sorry tho

no no thank you!!! i appreciate a good yap :3

im pretty much with u on everything u said. i mean im worried about them downplaying the severe psychological damage that mafumom did to mafuyu and letting her be forgiven too easily. i think kanade's right to be angry and more unforgiving towards her tbh. but honestly i really dont know how they'll handle that situation or attempt to repair mafuyu's relationship with her mother. even if she realizes her mistake, the damage was done. but anyways

yeah i think one way or another, kanade will be hit with the realization that she can't save mafuyu, and likely start questioning everything she lives for. i could see it being a really bad spiral for her. like kanade herself coming undone. questioning her identity, what she's good for, her reason to live, etc. and also likely having to deal with the existing guilt from her past as well, because that was what pushed her to act as a savior in the first place. because that's the only way she can atone.

but ya thanks for rambling w me, im super excited for this next arc and what it'll mean for kanade :)

[st-pop]

SWAP AU!!

Details:

Reiju:

Everything from sanji’s 2nd backstory is the same until the part where reiju helps him escape to the orbit

Rather than Sanji escaping to the orbit for freedom, little sanji, realizing that reiju is also ‘emprisoned’ in a way chose to make reiju leave instead to ‘be free from judges rule’

in the end reiju escaped germa instead of sanji, with the promise that she would come back to save him

(Im pretty sure that reiju had her humanity but still was unable to not follow whatever judge said, dont come after me if this isnt right, im surviving off of spoilers since im on skypiea 🫶)

Reiju, on the orbit didn’t really do much other than decide to work on the ship until they reached land

But then, oh no! The cook pirates attack! Reiju’s fine though because of her Germa abilities, she did save the captain of the cook pirates however and bring him to land..wonder how that will play out later in the story

Anyways, once on land she starts to go in hiding because while on the orbit she finds a newspaper detailing how germa/judge is looking for her

Overtime she ends up working for an anonymous assassination network (since killing was what she had been practically raised to do) called ‘Baroque works’ as Poison Tulip, as Mr. 1’s partner. (Ms.Doublefinger is forced to be Bon Clay/Mr 2’s partner dispite him not wanting/needing a partner :’))

She meets the SwitchAU! crew (which was only Ace, Nojiko, and Kuina at the time) when she had been attempting to assassinate kuina as she was on Baroque Works’s ‘hit-list’ (For more context, a few years back when Baroque Works had attempted to recruit Kuina, like Zoro in the OG universe, she beat up one of the millions and (coincidentally) the Mushi-Mushi line the millions had on that directly connected to Crocodile’s office had turned on. Kuina (unknowing of the Mushi-Mushi line) said something like ‘After a while, crocodile!’ As a catchy goodbye (knowing nothing about Mr.0’s identity) completely unaware of the fact she gave the actual Crocodile a bloody heart attack and got herself on Baroque Works’s top hitlist and for the past few years she’s had to deal with baroque works assassins)

Before Kuina and Reiju can actually begun fighting, Nojiko throws a tangerine (picked up from onland) to reiju saying ‘You look like you havent gotten to eat in days’, Reiju expects this to be something to keep her off her guard, or perhaps a taunt but quickly sees the rest the crew, (Kuina waiting patiently for her to eat and Ace flashing her a grin before telling her they have more food in the back if she needs any) and realizes that they’re genuine.

This reminds her of Sanji and shes explains that originally she was to kill the swordswoman however now shes changed her mind and has decided that she’d like to join the crew.

Nojiko and Kuina are suspicious but after seeing their captain’s grin they realize that anything they say wont be much use so they just sorta accept it

And thats how in this au reiju joined the SwitchAu! Crew!,

Kuina:

Ok so for kuina i’ve always liked the idea that her story would exactly be like Zoro’s, so that what im going to do here

the only different is that Zoro died young instead when he was training, kuina took up the 3 sword style technique to commemorate him

Ik that this isn’t really for kuina but i just have to put this here, in this AU tashigi is a dude who looks identical to Zoro (tashigi was so important to Zoro’s story in the OG timeline so i feel its only right to do the same for kuina. Tashigi’s personality, glasses and morals are all still the same tho ^^

Ok this is it for now, i’ll edit this later and slowly add the rest of the AU’s Backstories when i’ve got the time 🫶

[crystalmagpie447]

mmm, good good, excellent

*pulling up a chair and looking at you with my big ol eyes*

Tell me more about your boys! What's their personalities? How do they treat each other? How do they each interact with yn? Anything you have I will eat up, and no worries if there's certain things you're still waiting to reveal :)

THERE IT IS!!

Plotline (or soemthing): management decides to give the daycare attendant wings, after an accident that caused their zipline to break midair ☠️. (This isnt thatbig of an unusual change because every human type person has wings ((avians??idk i just like wings)

Somehow during maintenance, sun and moon get tha virus™ 

This makes them more irrated/closed off/nervous than usual, but they dont understand why (virus gets worse as the story progresses, y/n takes it upon themselves to figure out how to help)

Personalities!!

- Sun (pre-upgrade): joyous and silly!! For the kids at least 

Never really liked talking w/ human staff because they never talk to him

(Post upgrade and when reader starts working at the plex): joyous and silly still!!! But as time goes on you wonder how much of it is an act. His smile only really seems full when hes entertaining the children, and you figure its because thats what he was built for. 

Usually steers you away from topics and conversations he does not want to talk about, but if you pry too much hell probably snap and saysomething mean (OURGH i think itd be easier to draw or write interactions in order to explainthis better sorry☠️☠️)

Nicknames for reader: buttercup, busybee, sunshine

Moon (pre- upgrade)

Jestery and silly!! Ofc ofc but also a kind/ comforting presence, loved naptime, and the kids loved him!!! 

Never interacted with human staff tho, but if he ever caught  a worker (or any adult rlly)  staring at him, or saying mean things abt either attendants, hed probably stare creepily at them untill they got freaked out and ran away lol OR find someother way to spook them if that wasnt scary enough)

(post upgrade)

Alot less patient, alot more mean/intimidating (and off-putting)

Parents (and staff) complained abt him acting weird and most stopped taking their kids to the daycare 

Soo sun takes over naptime, and moon becomes security at night (yesyes the usual ☝️)

When y/n meets him hes mean and tricky, because he expects them to be just like all the other staff

But when he realises youre not, (and at times when hes more in control) his slightly ill-intended pranks lighten up to teasing and playfulness (huzzah!!)

Has a music box in his chest 

Nicknames for reader: dragonfly, nightengale, starlight

(THEY CAN BOTH FLY!! How?? Idk ☠️)

Reader: s ome guy (lol) (in their early 20’s orsomething ((ill probably never really mention this if i ever do choose to write stuff, so ‘tis up for interpretation!!) looking for a job 

Juggling college and hoping to earn some money on the side 

Has some kind of defect where their wings stopped growing at one point, and are too small to allow them to fly 

Personality: ourrgh i dont think ive thought too much abt their personality actually LOL

S t ubborn (will get irritated but cares too much to give up!!)

Jumps to conclusions but will wait until evidence is provided in order to believe said conclusions (doesnt want to be wrong or annoying) 

Nickname for sun: sunny

Nickname for moon: moon-man

@midnight-mourning

HAVE AT THEE!!!

[freakinator]

I'm so interested, but I don't know where to start watching UU. I'm so confused. Could you please advise me how to watch it properly?

honestly the best advice i can give you is to just search unstable universe and click on any of the playlists (i recommend diya's since it tends to be the most up-to-date one), if you wanna watch just one pov then feel free to do so but be warned youd be missing a part of the experience by doing so mainly through missing context/part of the story for certain scenes (although tbf that pretty much goes for any lets play but if you dont mind that aspect then go right ahead)

a few warnings before you get started tho:

its a huge time investestment, all but the first 4 episodes are more than 3 hours long with most of them either halfway through or nearing 4 hours

some vids are uploaded later than they actually take place on the timeline, i have a guide here if you wanna know at least from what i can tell the actual order is

theres a few supplementary materials (can be found in the extras part of the sheet i linked, not complete yet cause theres some vids i havent linked yet and im still on the lookout for more since some vids get added retroactively in addition to the ones uploaded explicitly for uu), you dont need to watch them to enjoy the story but theyre a cool bonus

if you wanna watch only one pov heres a guide on each of the povs specialties before doing so

general:

they all shift in style as the eps go on, nothing jarring but if you dont like more scripted storylines you may find the later eps a bit lacking

plot themes get used and reused a lot, for example spoke often goes on quests to destroy important landmarks, parrot often goes on scavenger hunts/get imprisoned/some combination of the two, and wemmbu often does things related to civilizations/kingdoms/factions

certain editing styles also get copied from each other, parrot and wemmbu in particular like to do this with each other

themes and styles can also switch around sometimes which can affect future eps on some level

certain exploits and mechanics dont work as intended so dont bother replicating how certain mechanics work according to actual mc cause chances are youll be disappointed by the results (unless youre into that sorta thing i suppose lol)

the main povs tend to stick to the same set of ppl, most likely due to scheduling reasons, so dont expect a whole lot of crossover casting (tho obv there would still be some esp if theyve got a pre-established role already)

spoke:

redacts some important events from his eps but may recount them later on depending on how the story plays out tho not in detail

not a lot of pvp in his pov and when there is chances are hes trying to run away or someone else is handling it (mainly mapicc)

doesnt upload nearly as consistently as the other two, consequently his shift in style is more obvious comparatively but so is his character development

thematically his eps tend to be about personal growth of some kind

lorewise his eps tend to focus more on server meta, for example his pov is the only one where there is clear confirmation of the server being unstable codewise, his pov is the only one where just how large of a problem duping on the server is can actually be seen and felt, and so far his pov is the only one that shows who ash is and what his goals are. basically if spoke introduces some kind of threat in his ep, chances are it'll be a threat to the server meta and youd have to think of the bigger picture in order to grasp how dangerous they actually are

his pov is also the only one you get the full picture of what a soggy little rat he actually is since in both parrot and wemmbus povs spoke is seen as a serverwide threat, directly for parrot and theoretically for wemmbu

if you like ls s4 zam and/or ls s2 spoke then youll most likely like him as well lol

has a small reoccuring cast and tends to stick to one person when going on quests while also taking note of another one

you will feel the ghost of jamatoP haunting this kid wherever he goes even if he never directly references him

parrot:

tends to get dragged along plot points, not in the sense that he doesnt have agency cause he very much does but more like he takes it upon himself to clean up other ppls messes if that makes sense

tries not to get into pvp but he still does get into them quite often, usually tries to run away but when he doesnt/cant he doesnt really have the best fighting techniques

his character development tends toward introspection which leads to a lot of "quiet" and assumptive character development, you gotta use a lot of psychological analysis when watching a parrot episode basically

thematically his eps tend to be about the willingness to get in danger in pursuit of something (whether it be for something greater, knowledge, or the safety of the other players on the server whether it be their life or memories) vs the predictable and stagnant comfort of safety

lorewise the threats he faces are ones that focuses on the actual players themselves, if one is introduced on his episode then chances are that they specifically target and affect players. an interesting example of this is zam, seen as a threat but never actually treated like an actual problem to be solved unlike the other threats he faces and it just so happens that zam is in a really interesting place antagonism-wise when it comes to wemmbu but is otherwise not a huge threat to unaffiliated players not even parrot who he apparently has beef with

has a large reoccuring cast who come in and out of his life, each of whom are important the same way cogs are important to a machine (applies to parrot himself as well). wifies sticks by him no matter what tho

wemmbu:

literally only one episode of his so far does not heavily feature or center around zam and its the one that takes place before they meet, if you do not like seeing/hearing about zam every 10 minutes or so do not watch wemmbus eps or you Will get pissed off

gets into fights quite often and is the best at pvp among the three main povs but isnt the best in terms of the server at large (hes somewhere more along the lines of average)

his character development is. rocky. and cyclical. be prepared to see him spiral and get better and spiral again over and over again basically lol

thematically his eps tend to be about princezam. i wish i was joking. but besides that, theyre also about retaliatory safety, morality, and sacrificing everything just to try and accomplish a singular goal

lorewise he causes a lot of ripple effects that affect the other two povs to a level that neither of them have ever affected him like for example him terrorizing spoke and parrot is what drove them to their current paths (anti-exploit exploiter for spoke and player protector for parrot)

has. A reoccuring cast. most of them are enemies and/or dont matter to him a whole lot personally tho... that doesnt mean he doesnt have friendly relations or allies of any kind, just that the only two you Really need to take note of are eggchan and princezam

i think thats p much all i can say about uu in terms of how to get into it but if youve got any questions of some kind feel free to ask :D

[ask-the-cat-cafe]

Question for the artist!:

I'm thinking of starting up an ask-blog for a character of mine. Would you recommend it? Pros and cons of a project like that?

(I just really like your blog and value your opinion on the subject <3 also hope you're doing well!)

Ok- so lemme answer this the best i can haha- im bad w questions like this 😅��

Ok so starting an ask blog is certainly a good way to get your ideas out their! It lets people ask all the questions you wabt abt your character! If ur starting writing-blog where you right instead of draw, then it may be different but idk 😶

I like it so i do recommend it!

Some pros and cons uhh

Pros!

•its fun!!

•you may get more ideas for your character from asks

•uhhh im not good with pros- there's a lot more but y'know-

Cons (im better w these! Doesn't mean that ask blogs suck to make- i jist think abt these more lmao)

• you can get art/writers block soooo easily, so if you have a high drive and good schedule you'll be fine!

•some people in your ask box are gonna be... Weirder than expected

•some ppl dont read ur blog before asking

•its hard (for me atleast) to pick and choose between certain asks, but you will have to!

Uh also if you are thinking abt starting a blog, especially one that you're thinking of making into a big story thing like mine, then make sure you link them together! Either like how i did mine or something else, make sure you do it!!

Also make sure you take breaks, stretch yo back, and find a good schedule!!

Take care of urself with ur blog:) i hope it goes well!

Soo uhhhh yeah if you have any other questions plz ask!!

Im not the best at answering tho haha

[nocturius8015ficore]

Fanfiction #6: Of All the Things I've Lost

Nocturius: 6th Republic Commando fanfiction!

This story is a very intimate and a bit experimental one about Fi's slow recovery from his brain injury. It also talk about his early relationship with Parja. The format is 30 ''datapad entries'' spread on about 200 days, so I suggest you to read it SLOWLY and take the time to imagine and feel the gaps in your head.

Enjoy!

I'M ALSO ON Ao3! -> click HERE

Title: Of All the Things I've Lost

Fandom: Star Wars Republic Commando books by Karen Traviss

Characters: Fi Skirata, Parja Bralor, Bardan Jusik

Rating: Teens and up. **Sensible topic (depression/suicidal thoughts)**

Topic: Fi's brain injury, physical and psychological recovery, memory loss, love

Pitch: To help Fi getting better, Parja told Fi to keep a personal journal. It was one of his hardest mission.

��📖📖📖📖📖📖

Of all the things I've lost by Fi-Core/Nocturius Between True Colors and Order 66 Around 550 to 750 days after the battle of Geonosis Kyrimorut, Mandalore -------------------------------

Fi’s datapad journal entry #001 Parja tol me to keep jornal. Feel dubm doin i. Hansss messy & shaky. Diffikultt to ritwe. Fiefk

---

#002 Wgo is Parja? Missin my vode. ---

#003 Not sure wher i am. Where every1??? I scrared ---

#004 Knees hurt, I fell too ofte toda y ---

#005 Food good, happy belly, happi Fy!

--- #006 Parja makes me walk agan today. She kind & patient. She say I progess ---

#007 Bard’ika came today. Healing T-time! I wish I could takl to Dar about the bb… I miss my vode. I wan a to go home ---

#008 I’m so lost. Dont even know wehre home is. Where is Niner? Are they dead?! ---

#009 Parja is cute ❤ Hope she wont read that. oh well ---

#010 shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, osik, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, copy-paste is my new friend! 😃

--- #011 I feel like osik. Im still unabll to put clothes by myself. All the Nulls are gone. I’m alonr with Parja. She is the 1 who helps me with that now. It's embarrasssing. Not the idea I had of a woman seeing my shebs for the first time… ---

#012 My legs hurt so much. I tried to walk by myself today. Feeling like I only have bones and no meat. Parja shaved me. I’m ugly as shab, way too skinny cheeks. At least I have nice hair growing back. Love when she brushes it. I might keep them long. 😝 ---

#013 Parja showed me how to cook uj cakes. I barely participated this time but she made me lick the spatula.😋 She said she will teach me bits by bits. It’s supposed to be good for me to have small goals like that. Not only work on physical or mental improvement but more ‘’day-to-day’’ and natural things. It’s the Mando way of life, she said. It was wonderful and fun. The freshly baked cakes are so tasty.🤤 Nothing like the ones Kal’buir smuggled on Kamino. ---

#014 I wish I was able to speak full sentences. Writing is getting easier if I take my time. It’s just frustrating, I sound like an idiot or a small child. My mind is getting clearer but I know I forget a lot. I suppose it’s good I know I do. I really hope I’ll continue to get better but my expectations are low. I’m supposed to be dead, they say.

---

#015 I work very hard to get better at coordination. Still can’t take a shower by myself. It’s so embarrassing. It would be simpler if it was a droid doing it but they aren't as soft and delicate as her. I like her touching me, but it’s so wrong. I try to keep my thoughts straight, she is only taking care of me. I’m grateful she never made any comment about… shab. Stuff going on. I can’t help it. It’s all pretty messed up. ---

#016 Memory is a weird thingy, I remember my vode from Teroch squad like it was yesterday but I don’t remember WHAT I ate yesterday. My stomach does tho. Oh dear, that was way too spicy hot…

--- #017 Bard’ika healing therapy is literally a miracle I swear. I’ll never say anything bad about Jedi. Ever.

---

#018 I spilled a full bowl of blue milk and cereal on Parja. So fierfek ashamed and angry about myself. Hate everything, hate myself, hate the shab of all. I never wanted to blow up something that hard in my life. A big ball of explosion would end all of this.

---

#019 Fierfek. I don’t remember why I was sooo angry. Get a grip, trooper. It’s only wasted food. She’s not even mad at me. I want a hug right now, but no one is there except the nurse droid. I feel so lonely.

---

#020 What is a soldier who can’t walk by himself? I’m useless. Actually I don’t want to fight. I just want people to leave me alone, I’m a burden. I don’t want to be alone really. I don’t know what I want. My mind so foggy. Kal’buir say I probably have some PTSD. I don’t know how to handle this.

---

#021 The way she smiles at me. I wish I could stand up and hug her tight, but I can’t hold a shabla spoon without dropping my food. Could she truly loves me one day? Does she see me as a man? ‘Cause I can’t stop thinking about her in an un-jedi-ly way. My chest hurts.

---

#022 Why my thoughts doesn’t align with my mouth? I’m supposed to be Fi-big-mouth-Skirata. More like Fi-big-never-able-to-finish-his-sentences-Di’kut. I don’t mind about my legs, I just want to be able to talk properly and not be so shabla lost all the time. I wish she could have seen me in my prime, I dunno. What is left of me anyway…

---

#023 First 4 meters with no help. Parja kissed me on the cheek to congratulate me. Feel like osik, but I got a kiss. 😃😃😃

---

#024 I can’t tell her how I feel. She will never want me. I’m a wreck. Stay focus trooper, the day you will be able to walk and dress yourself alone, she’ll be gone. She doesn't love you, she’s your nurse. That’s it. I wouldn't choose myself either. I can’t even make jokes. Maybe they should have left me behind. That healing process is so slow. I fear I’ll only get worse from here. My time is so short, I don’t have a lot of it ahead. What if the day I’m ok, I'm just too old for anything? She will move on and find another poor soul to fix.

---

#025 Love beskar’gam. I look good in it, a cool skirt around my shebs and that spear. That will do it. Plus, I can hide everything I feel under the bucket like the good ol’ days.

---

#026 Sometimes, I think of something clever, then laugh at my own jokes. Then I forget the so-called joke and don’t remember why that was funny in the first place. I don’t care too much about looking like a crazy lad. I’m just sad to not have been able to share it and be the only one laughing.

---

#027 I can’t live like this. It’s not a life. What am I supposed to be?

---

#028 I don’t remember how but this is the BEST DAY of my life. She kissed me. A real. Lovers. Kiss. On my fierfek lips. Oyaaaaaa it feels sooooooo good. ☺️☺️

---

#029 The shab, Fi from yesterday, you drank 2 bottles of tihaar instead of water or had a funky dream? Won’t happen anytime soon…

---

#030 WASNT A DREAM. SHE KISSED ME AGAIN. KANDOSIIIIIIIIIII! ❤️❤️ I love you Parja. You are my cyar’ika. I need to remember that. Fi, my boy Fi, you have a girl. Read that again and again. This is not a drill. Parja is your GIRLFRIEND. I love you I love you I love you.

---

End

Fi-Core/Nocturius 5th of July 2024

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

[lover-of-mine]

Lady Whistledown.. Gossip Girl. Yep, we have been talking about the same people!! I honestly was just coming to say the same thing. The BT HQ is on fire. I saw you said you were getting shade about if we were all real. Today is the best example of yes we are. GG is the cool one, but I'm clearly the dramatic one. If anyone goes back, they will see that I mentioned multiple times what they wanted that Henren scene to be. Basically, Hen tells the audience shhhhh, we like this guy. If I'm being really honest, it would have been more kind if they never aired because it was one of the last ideas they had...

So let's step into Narnia.. They ended the season thinking BT were each other's people, they finally found safe space, they were comfort. Then Lou ditches them, Oliver ignores them, and that little hope they had for Hen, giving her mother Hen approval is snatched. They are battling back and forth with having to acknowledge this relationship is completely undefined. Every opportunity they had at the medal ceremony to somehow make Tommy a part of the family is gone. They had Maddie and Athena there, nothing. They wanted Tommy at the table with Chris and Eddie, nothing. (Dont let them fool you they wanted Chris and him to interact to show dad vibes). Now they really have to settle into the fact that at best they are fuck buddies and Tommy can't keep up with Buck. Expect them to romanticize or make the idea cool BT content.

Now we leave Narnia

Also, expect some shade is brewing for Hen. Apparently, she wasn't supporting her queer elder. Did you fall over when you felt my eye roll? Its honestlybaffling to me how quick they are to turn on an OG character for this man. It's like Stockholm Syndrome was invented for this moment.

Lastly, weird thing. They aren't sure what to do with Ryan's workout story. This may seem weird, but they kind of cling to Tommy is husky, and Buck is just as "husky." So there is a weird gumbo of where they are trying to land on how they view their bodies. Like they don't want Oliver working out with Ryan and them pulling the S Sex (6) interview scene, you know. I can't tell if they are going to land on body shaming yet. Maybe they are just terrified both will bulk up for a shirtless scene like we expected that season. Also the fact they think it makes Tommy seem older.

Anyways... It's definitely a dumpster fire over there.

Hello my love.

This is... Damn. Honestly, yeah, this scene is a nail in the coffin. It makes him somehow even less likable. It doesn't do Tommy, or bt for that matter, any favors. The relationship is not that serious, Tommy does not care for approval, Hen clearly does not trust him. It crushed so many narratives in 36 seconds it's kinda impressive.

There's so much going on here I don't even know where to start. Considering how they are treating real life wlw people, I have been fully ready for them to turn on Hen and even Aisha since I saw the clip, so I'm already expecting that.

The Ryan thing tho. The obsession with Ryan makes me want to fistfight people. If bt is so perfect and real and endgame, then why the fuck does anything Ryan does matter? And bodyshame the dude? Have they seen him? The dude looks like he stepped out from a catalog. I feel like my brain is melting. The mental gymnastics involved here, man. Crazy. I am happy it's a dumpster fire tho. I feel vindicated.

[iangallagherisadeadman]

shameless hot takes

i kind of dig the way lip ended up as a failure. i know a lot of people hate what the show did to him, how he never lived up to his potential (the same way they do it to rory gilmore) but like. that happens. lifes just like that. sometimes people who have had everything to live with grandiosity end up ruining everything up, and lips life was HARD and it SUCKED so him failing its kind of expectable i think. and its not like lips life ended, mans not even 30 and hes not just smart hes a genius, he will end up turning the table and coming straight to the top, i believe so.

frank doesn't love his children. i know people like to think frank was somewhat nice sometimes and that he was troubled but he loved the gallaghers his own way but i dont think he really did. he didnt even knew them. he was just too selfish and a narcissist and not even once a "act of love" was genuine or didnt have a gain for him or was somewhat for his benefit or interest.

of all plots, i believe gay jesus was the worst. i tried to remeber every other plot of the show and dont get me wrong the frank and his buddy pal mickey oshea SUCKED and i love ian hes my favorite character but what the fuck was that. the idea is really nice but it took so long to convey this arc of mania of him and it just was really badly written and executed and later it doesn't have importance to the plot. no surprise cameron monaghan wanted to skip shameless after that.

gallavich is not a healthy goal relationship. i mean yeah, they do love each other and they are good to each other, and i will excuse them for all the shit they did as teenagers cause they seemed to forgive each other and grow from it and i dont think they knew best but as adults they dont fucking communicate and mick broke ians leg like common. also most of time ian just seems to regret having married mick is really frustrating. i genuinely dont understand how that happened cause gallavich was all the writes had to milk and serve for the last seasons and they still fucked it up.

debbie is a rapist. she just is. just like sheila is too, i believe, and frank, and mandy, and jody, and estefania (i dont think jimmysteve is tho). they practiced nonconsensual sex and thats rape, end of story. i know the deborah debate is kind of hot ground and everybody has a different opinion about it cause she was young and didnt have the proper sex ed. but she did it not once, but twice AFTER facing consequences and getting to educate herself about what she did and why that was wrong, and i believe she would do it again if she had the motivation like she did on those circumstances. not saying matty or derick were cool guys, fuck them, matty wanted to go out with an underage girl when he met debbie and he kept going out with her after knowing she was much younger than he first thought and derick know that having sex can lead to having a baby and he and his family should have tried to be better to franny, but still they didnt deserved to by lied and abused by deb.

the gallaghers house should be debbie and carl's to decide what to do. the house is in fionas name, that much is true, but it is clear they kept contact with fiona at the begging of season 10 as she calls debbie to know about freddie and at that hall of fame episode too, so that much wouldn't be a problem. also, as fiona left, she left debbie in charge of the house's finances, and i believe the responsibility of what to do with the house is left with debbie too. i dont think fiona would be thrilled with the wouse being sold but she moved on and if her siblings are up to moving on too i dont think she would be opposed to it. that said, she would let the house deed on debbies hand i believe. taking up the fact that debbie is a mom with a little child and no other place to live, the fact she doesnt want to sell the house is comprehensible and i dont think any other gallagher can say its not, even more so lip. they tried to make the decision voting, letting the majority determinate what to do, but i dont think thats fair since lip could very easily get a house to himself and ian and mickey too, they had the money. now, about carl, is simply cause he paid for the house, therefore he should had a say on it. season 6, when the house was going to be sold, no other Gallagher than fiona was really trying to make to money to buy it. when she couldnt, carl saved the day and gave the money, and fiona was reluctant but she had no other option than to accept it, otherwise they would lose the house. even though the house is in fionas name like she likes to make it very clear, it is carls, and if he wanted to he could have put it in someone elses name, not lip cause he's in debt cause of the credit cards he has gotten to pay college, but he could have made it ians or anyone elses. he didnt cause he respects family and he respects fiona. since the house is his, and he also didnt really had any other place like debbie, they both should make the decision together.

fiona fucking sucks. i know a lot of people hates her and a lot loves her, and theres people in here that knows shes middle ground just like basically everybody on the show, which is called SHAMELESS for a reason. and i can agree with everybody. my point here is that she did nice things and stupid things and i dont hate her or love her for them, nor do i think all is forgiven because of her trauma or that shes number one worst character of the show. i think she sucks, think that she was wrong for all the liam shit, that she is an agent of chaos, that she was a bad girlfriend for all of her boyfriends just like they were bad for her (except mike he rocks), i think she make some of them worst really; i understand her desire to grown and be someone but i think it was risky to put the gallaghers house on the line so she could open the laundry (even more so cause i dont really consider it hers but carls), i understand how at some point she wanted to grow and take care of herself and be less of an parent in her sibling's life cause if she took care of herself since she was nine i think her siblings could try and take care of each other and their own ass a little so she could start living but the way she didnt really helped ian, the way she shut down debbie and was sad when debbie shuted her down, the way she left carl to his white boy fase without as much as trying and the way she said to them put VERONICA and KEVIN first at their emergency call before her was insane and she should be dragged for it idc. she was always mean to her siblings romantic interests too and that really bugs me cause mandy put lip in college and mickey cared for ian.

lip fucking sucks. most people here think the similarity between lip and frank starts and finishes on alcoholism and appearance but i think its more than that, i think both of them are narcissistic motherfuckers. i cant think of a single time lip put effort in anything for any other reason than to satisfy himself. it is the most evident when you think about his relationships SPECIALLY tami and fred, but if you think about his desire to be a father, the way he treated fiona when she was down, the whole sierra fiasco and how he treated her sons daddy, the karen ian thing; he even said that he helps his alcoholic friends because he thinks that if they cant do it then certainly lip himself won't be able to do it. i cant hold ian to the same parameters, i only think deb fiona and carl are really there for each other but ian gets a pass cause hes just selfish to some extent. he is bipolar and shit went down when he was still a child; still, joining the army and sending no news was a dick move and when he was good and on his meds and working as an EMT i think he wasnt really there for his family, tho he cared for mandy. cant really say much cause most of the time he was out of himself or in jail.

[raisinchallah]

sizzling hot take of a xena ask: why is the overall quality of xena fanfic so poor, and is there a secret stash of good fanfic with high-quality writing somewhere that u can recommend. (caveat: I don't know if it's more poor than other contemporaneous fandoms or if maybe more has survived as a bulk while others have mostly faded into the mist but it's my impression)

ok well i do want to plug my favorite xena fic languedoc by angharad governal which is a really delightful fic playing with the fun elements of the sort of nesting stories of the story of xena within the show itself how its positioned as like the scrolls found by xena and gabrielle descendants turned into a tv show thing and all the various aus and fics and whatever that inspired that the fic mixes like a supposedly lost medieval tale of a xena and gabrielle analog woman warrior and troubador at the fall of their city with modern day xena and gabrielle reincarnations going by different names (as xena fic loves to do) where the gabrielle one is a lesbian medievalist doing a project trying to uncover old mentions of the xena scrolls in the archives of old churches in france and the xena one is a repressed closeted nun so theyre having their silly like romance novel plot mixed with like ridiculously granular academia nonsense and some really fun intertextual stuff with other imagined retellings of the xena stories which well has been obviously very influential on how i read xena and interact with it dsfjklkadfj; like my desire to do all these different artistic versions of xena and gabrielles story thru history def influenced by how fun i found the concept in this fic it def has some like fanfic writing style to it which may be what ur referring to in terms of bad quality but i think i have not read very much fic i would consider "well written" in general so i think my expectations are different idk...

like dont know if ive read very much terribly good fanfic in any fandom to be comparing anything to i dont often have the patience for a long fic or just bad at looking or choosing or what so i cant say xena seems unusually bad to me as i dont know if i can think of a fandom with unusually good fanfic fdsjklak;jlfd but i have noticed a few trends in xena fic nonetheless... i do think some of the totally random stuff you can find on old fan sites can be like really bad sort of incomprehensible why it was published reminds me of anime fanfic i read when i was 13 on ff.net i think tho with different standards of framing i guess theres never any weird authors notes or strange long digressions in the fic itself that would mark a lot of those ff.net fics i read but its sometimes just the most random shit on a website with insane jpeg backdrops and mystifying font choices my guess is from also perusing some old star trek and anime fansites that this isnt really unique and is just what a lot of old fansite fics were like very low barrier to entry not sure thats unique to xena.... like having read some old star trek fic from the 70s and 80s i do think theres just something a bit off about old fanfic voice that perhaps fanfic in general is almost so of its time and weird niche idiosyncrasies in the small communities that make it that make it feel quite dated almost immediately one weird thing i kept noticing in a lot of fic tho was this strange insistence on making them fall in love almost immediately despite like the extreme levels of conflict in a story there was often very little on a relationship level which is really odd to me gabrielle is often like made even more angelic pure perfect being of healing light no matter how dark a fic wants to make xena it feels underwhelming to meeee

as for modern fic ive seen on ao3 i think it suffers due to almost no extant fandom and transferring some modern femslash fandom problems over like there are not very many huge spanning epics being penned in xena ao3 spaces which was the bread and butter of fans back in the day and is something i often feel theres a lack of in ao3 era femslash so like if older fic didnt necessarily go off of character conflict there was still a lot of plot conflict elements at least in the longer epics that now theres neither short interesting character studies that really thrive in the short fic zone of ao3 but also not much huge high concept stuff so its pretty underwhelming... ah well

[wmiescieinazumy]

Heya, you reblogged my psot not long ago so i thought i might as well just answer you like this

The stickers i redrew are from what is called inalink or inatrr i think depending on the game. In the GO, chorno stone and galaxy games, as the story mode goes forward, the characters will send Messenges in a chat and interact with one another.

The chat is exclusive to raimon tho, only a few characters outside raimon send messeges

The emojis/stickers apparently were drawn by Akane in chrono stone i will bring out some of my fave interactions. i will try to remember when some of them happen cus again, they follow the storyline events:

after shindou comes back to the team during the first part of the season:

i really like this one cus it shows how when kariya first joined the team kirino was actually excited a talented defender by his side (oh how things went down...)

do i even need to mention how cute this one is?

last but not last favorite:

hi! thank u sm for answering my question! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i wasnt expecting to get an answer so fast or at all for that matter (since i just asked in tags instead of via the askbox) so this is a really pleasant surprise, thank you <3

holy shit this is so freaking cool!!! i knew that the og game had a blog run by aki, but i didnt know something similar was featured in other games. the ytber whose gameplay videos i watched (i dont have the games unfortunately,,) doesnt stop to open the blog and read the character interactions there which is a shame (◞‸◟)💧 these interactions are so fucking cute i might cry. i love that they take the time to show characters interact with each other outside the main plot! shindou's "please stop nagging" and kirino's "HE'S ALIVE!" bring me so much joy i love them bad. that's the childhood best friends energy we love to see. akane just gossiping openly about kariya and him coming in like "well this is awkward" KSHFJKDSH PLEASEEEE. its so sweet that kirino was excited for another defender to join the team... too bad kariya was such a little shit at the start. aki baking cookies for tsurugi.... someone hold me.... everyone congratulating shindou on his recital going well SOBBBBB ITS FINE i didnt need my heart anyways!! thank you for sharing these with me!! i'd love to see more of them, please feel free to share if you have any ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) but also i dont wanna take up ur time, so ur absolutely not obliged to do so! if you know a good place to find more of these i'd love to know about it but once again, no pressure ^_^ i'll probably go watch a playthrough and screenshot it obsessively either way!

thank u sm for ur answer (,,>ヮ<,,)!

[whence-the-woody]

Lots more thoughts

Main takeaway is how much i fucking love Haymitch. I already did but so much more now. He's so funny, kind, smart, cocky, sarcastic, loving, rebellious and firey. He is a pure rebel through and through. He does an illegal job, hates the rich and the peacekeepers, dates someone whose family doesnt approve, hates bullies, he IS a rascal but far from harmless. He was down immediately to fuck shit up and just kept getting up and trying again. I adore him all the more, and Im more heartbroken for everything he lost.

So yes, alot of it was fanservice. Generally Im not mad about that in any media. The only times I was a little iffy was - 1, Snow talking so much about Lucy Gray to a random tribute kid and 2, the way plutarch apparently knows the future when talking about the rebellion. Those were a little on the nose for me and unrealistic. Haymitchs curiosity about Lucy Gray veered on far fetched at times but I can believe it because of his attachment to the Covy. My god LG is the DEFINITION of haunting the narrative and I love that for her

The propoganda message was so out there and on the nose. Partly its because we're hearing from a more aware character (Katniss bless her only noticed things after it was waved in her face 100 times). The other thing I think is SC just knowing that media literacy is dead and after so many years, she still has a message to get accross so this time she was just like LOOK. HERE. ITS ALL LIES. PROPOGANDA. TRUST NOTHING. NO ROOM FOR INTERPRETATION.

What that does do tho is make us question every single story Katniss ever told us about the games and the victors, which is wild. We shouldve known that already - so maybe SC was right to be so obvious about it

For me, in every single book, the games drag at least a little bit. This one was really interesting because some things happened so fast I got whiplash - Lulu, Ampert, the failed plot - then the part with Maysilee felt just a bit too long. Tho even her death felt quick idk. I adored him accepting her as a sister. The whole theme of siblings throughout was again a bit on the nose but so so important to the series.

I have to admit there were so many characters and I listened to the audiobook over 2 days so by the time we got back to Wellie I could not remember who she was. REGARDLESS her starvation and death her fucking brutal my god. Every death in the games was, I feel like Suzanne has gotten more comfortable over time calling them what they are.

The last few chapters were more what I thought the whole thing was going to be - a story we already knew but devastating nonetheless. There were of course details that made it all the worse - seeing the house burn, Ma and Sid holding each other, Birdie singing at the funeral, getting a reunion with Lenore Dove. All so so cruel and heartbreaking even though we knew what was going to happen the whole time

I love how Suzanne subverted expectation and showed us that the stories we're told are lies. There was so much more going on that we didnt know.

Also big love for her dumping so much lore in the first few chapters. Again, I can almost hear her being like FINE here have it already! then we can get to the important stuff and you can stop asking questions we already know the answers to

The early cameos made so much sense to me. The later ones initially surprised me but thinking about it they absolutely make sense too (of course other victors would be their mentors, of course beetee was a rebel all along). The only one that is still a stretch is effie. Dont get me wrong, love it, so glad to see her. But yeah that was fanservice with not a whole lot of logic. I was hoping for Tigress too ngl.

Overall its just left me with such an interesting feeling because so much of it we already knew and so much has been completely changed by learning more. Haymitch was such a fighter and it was taken from him. Mags always had such heart. Wiress was so smart. Beetee always so valuable he could get away with murder.

Ive been saying for years that the rebellion did not start and end with Katniss and Im so glad this book highlights that. It started before her parents were even together, it has always been slowly building. Beetee was already making plans and fucking with their systems. Haymitch set a spark, the rage was already there, all the pieces slowly came together. She was lucky and at the right time and had the right people and had so much fucking compassion that she became the centre of it but it was always coming. Haymitch promised 25 years before he would stop the reaping.

Finally, the epilogue. Oh my fucking god. I really thought we wouldnt get any Katniss or Peeta content. Or anything from the original timeline. It took my breath away to hear him call them his family. I was so proud that he finally shared his story, that they helped him keep his loved ones alive. But, as the hunger games always does, we're reminded that there are survivors but no victors. Haymitch spent his whole life imagining Lenore Dove with him. He self medicated to a point of no recovery. His belly will always be scarred. But he has his kids and his geece and his freedom. I sobbed through the epilogue and I really hope we see it on screen, it will ruin me.

[viiviidlights]

What if my stupid freaks had chapter 7 dreams (pt. 1: Yuna)

A drabble inspired by a rp prompt one of my mutuals (@nrcsfavoriteshrimps [sorry for the tag, wanted to credit you as inspiration for the idea tho sjgfjhfjh]) did with one of their ocs a little while back that. then led to me wondering what my own OCs chapter 7 dreams would be like.

I... don't entirely know if there are any content warnings to be aware of, BUT there are around 3,200 words here so... yeah I guess? Um... have fun? I will apologize for the formatting being kind of jank here though just bc it wasn't pasting right from Obsidian... Might upload this somewhere later instead to make it a little easier to read if that would help?

Tags to those who might be interested (please tell me if you don't want to be tagged, though! or tell me if you DO wanna be tagged actually?): @venaue @pangirlpanic @creatorbiaze @nrc-ramshackle-prefect umumum i dont know anyone else but have fun if you want.

Yuna felt… oddly warm when she woke up. It was funny, wasn't it? She was always nestled snugly in such comfortable blankets, and nothing was ever too cold or too warm.

She sat up in her bed, looking around. Nothing was… any different, really. She was in the same old room, with the same old pink wallpaper and beige carpet flooring; the same old window that she only ever opened when talking down to her visiting friends or calling down to her dad while he worked in the garden; the same old shrimp plush her friends had gotten her for her birthday - she knew they worked hard to get it, and it was a treasured possession of hers.

Yuna rolled herself out of bed and quickly changed into something more appropriate for the day: A simple hoodie she had stolen from a friend and a pair of shorts. She grabbed her phone and checked through her texts as she moved to her mirror to check her hair and prep her makeup.

The messages were mostly nothing of note. Wilomena had messaged her to remind her about a quiz they had in one class, Ace and Deuce had sent a comment about the homework for another. Other messages about club tasks or preparing for the student newspaper. Nothing was too out of the ordinary, at least, until she noted a message from an anonymous sender:

?:'Hello? Is this Yuna?'

She tilted her head in confusion, setting down her eyeshadow brush to respond.

Y:'Maybe it is. But who is this?'

She didn't expect to get any sort of response in return, so she was mildly surprised when the answer to her question popped up almost immediately.

?:'A friend of yours. I hesitate to tell you too much right now, but just know that something is very wrong with what you're currently experiencing.'

She laughed and rolled her eyes. This was probably just some scammer trying to psyche her out and get her to hand over her credit card info or something. How could anything be wrong with her day when it's only just begun? She set her phone down and decided she was just going to finish her makeup.

When she finally left her room to greet her parents, she looked around. Sure enough, nothing was wrong. Her parents both sat at the kitchen counter, laughing and bantering with one another when Yuna walked up to join them. "Morning, dear,"Her mother smiled warmly."Did you sleep alright last night?" Yuna nodded. "Yeah… but I can't help but feel like I woke up from the strangest dream… I was sent to some other world, y'know? And it was wild, 'cause some of the guys from school were there, too! But it was just me and them. And also some kinda strange version of one of their cats…" Yuna mused, before continuing to recount the strange tale she believed herself to have dreamt up.

After she finished telling her story, her father chuckled and ruffled her hair. "That really does sound like a weird story, Yu," He said, nodding his head. "But I promise you that your mom and I are tight as ever! And there are no scary monsters that are gonna grab you in the night, either." Yuna groaned as her father messed with her hair, but otherwise made no attempts to stop the act. "I appreciate that, dad," She said with a grin."But… I can't deny that being able to cast spells of all sorts would be super exciting." "You've got me there," He laughed, and Yuna felt contented.

"Anyways, why don't you get something to eat before you head out. Can't be a star scholar on an empty stomach, haha!" When she finished her breakfast, Yuna rushed to grab her bag and gave a kiss to each of her parents. "Alright, guys. I'm off!" She said, waving goodbye as she hurried out the door.

It was nice, this life. It was how things had always been. And her odd dream was only that: a dream. Her life was perfect. This was perfect. So imagine how surprised Yuna was when she came face to face with the snarky furball from her dream, especially when he was practically begging her to go with him.

~~~~~

"I'm… definitely hallucinating this right now, aren't I?" Yuna murmured, staring down at the grey beast that appeared to have fire coming out of his ears. "No you're not! I'm tellin' ya that I'm the real deal and that you're my hardworking henchman! And you've gotta snap out of whatever this is now! There's somethin' seriously wrong, here!" The frantic feline protested, chasing after Yuna as she tried to continue walking to school.

"Nope. I'm definitely imagining things. Cats don't talk, they meow. And you're a talking cat. So either I'm going insane, or someone is playing an incredibly elaborate prank on me" The creature huffed, jumping so that he could grab ahold of Yuna's leg. "I ain't a cat! You should know that better than anyone, Yu," He whined. "And this ain't a prank! Yuna, you're actin' all weird. You're tellin' me that you seriously don't remember me?!? The Great Grim? Or our crazy adventures? Or that weird party in Diasomnia?" Yuna stopped walking and sighed. "I don't. I'm sorry, but the only Grim I know is a cat that belongs to one of my friends," She said, leaning down to pat the creature, who looked hurt by her words. "I really think I'd know if I knew of something as absurd as this…"

Grim looked up at her with wide blue eyes that resembled the fires that flickered from his ears. It made Yuna feel horrible, seeing him like that. He looked like a small child threatening to burst into sobs at any moment. Yuna knelt down to the ground and pulled her bag from her shoulders, rummaging through it to find something- anything- to keep him from crying. Eventually, she settled on a small can of… tuna? She looked at the can, perplexed, as she handed it over. How did such an odd thing end up in her bag? "Gh-!"She exclaimed, clutching her head as a strange pain shot through her body, and the world around her seemed to fizzle for a moment. "Henchman! Are you alright?" Grim asked, seeming to forego his sadness for but a moment. "Wh-what the…" Yuna murmured, as the world began to settle once again, as perfect and idyllic as always. "What was that…?"

Grim huffed and lightly bopped Yuna on the head.

"Don't scare me like that, Henchman! I was worried somethin' was gonna happen to you for a moment," He grumbled, and Yuna pushed herself up as he did so. "Told you somethin' was sketchy!" Yuna shook her head and handed the can of tuna down to Grim before grabbing her bag and slinging it back over her shoulder.

"I'm fine," she said, simply. "But I'm also telling you that I think you're getting a bit worked up over nothing…But if you insist on following me around, all I ask is that you keep hidden. I don't wanna get in trouble for bringing a cat to school."

She felt a buzz and looked down at her phone, which showed another message from her mysterious benefactor.

?:'Do you believe me, now?'

Yuna felt like she was going to throw up. Something creepy was going on here, that much was for certain, but it was nothing magical or bizarre or life-threatening like it was in her dream, right? Right? She took a deep breath, trying to collect herself.

Everything was fine. Her dream from last night was only a dream; she was only imagining the strange, fiery talking cat before her; the strange texts were only a stranger with the wrong number… All she had to do was make it through the day, go home, and go to bed again and it would all be fine.

~~~~~

Except it wasn't fine, was it? That much was obvious when her friend Minerva had approached her and said something utterly out of character.

"I've decided to not go through with my 'exchange trip' anymore!" The blonde girl said eagerly.

Yuna was utterly perplexed by the exclamation.

"But... Min? You were like... super looking forward to that. You said it was like 'going to a home away from home, a total dream'. Why would you give up such a fantastic opportunity?"

Minerva just laughed and twirled a strand of her blonde hair. "Because, silly! That way I can still stay with you and Wilomena. I couldn't possibly leave behind my two besties ever!"

Yuna cocked her head to the side, trying to understand why on Earth Minerva would give something up like that. It wasn't like that girl to surrender a chance to do something grand like this so easily, was it? She hissed as another burst of pain shot through her head and the world began flickering around her. She swore she saw the cat about to jump out to assist her, but suddenly she was greeted by Minerva's startlingly green eyes.

"Nana? Are you alright?" Minerva asked, extending a smooth and slender hand towards her friend.

Yuna blinked slowly, trying to readjust to the world, which had stopped shaking when she took Minerva's hand.

"Y-yeah..." Yuna replied. "I think so... I've just been having a really weird day, is all."

Minerva seemed to frown, her expression darkening for a brief moment as she glanced behind Yuna, who grew worried that perhaps her friend had seen the strange cat. She doubted Min would report her, of course, but it was still concerning nevertheless... As soon as Minerva's expression had fallen, it almost immediately returned to its typical cheeriness.

"Maybe you're sick? You should go to the nurse, just in case..." She said, placing a hand to Yuna's forehead.

Yuna gently removed her friend's hand from her face. "I'll be fine, Min. If something else happens, though, you'll be the first person to know when I've gone to the nurse, okay?"

Minerva seemed to relax at Yuna's response, and sighed, though the concern in her eyes was still strong.

"Alright, Yuna. But tell me *immediately* if something else happens, okay?" Minerva said, smiling as she turned away. "I've gotta go to class now, but I'll catch you later, okie doke?" Yuna nodded and watched as Minerva bounded off. She could've sworn, though, that there was a nasty, green gaze with a darkness growing behind it shot in the direction of where Grim had been hiding.

Speaking of, the odd cat poked his head out of the small gap in the wall that served as his hiding space for the duration of the discussion.

"Geez Louise, that friend of yours is scary, Yu! What was her deal, glaring in my direction like I was somehow doin' something to ya?"

Yuna shrugged. "I'm not really sure... she's usually a bit more... I don't know. Ditzy? Friendly? Chipper? I don't think she'd report me if she saw you, but then again, everything has been off today, so I can't even promise that."

Yuna ran a hand through her hair anxiously, which caused her glasses to go crooked. "I mean... she was TOTALLY looking forward to that trip! She said it was a once in a lifetime opportunity! Sure, she loves me and Mena, but she would NEVER have given it up, even for us!?"

She began to pace the hallway, biting her thumb as she did so. Ordinarily, she would have gotten odd looks or snide remarks sent her way if she was spotted doing such a thing or-

No, that's not right... here, she was generally well-liked by her peers. She had a status similar to that of Minerva or Wilomena, and while they were prettier and smarter than she was, Yuna was the one who people would call if they needed advice or a helping hand.

She suddenly stopped moving, which seemed to startle Grim, who had begun pacing behind her. "Oof-! Hey, Henchman, what was that for?!"

"Something is SERIOUSLY wrong here." Yuna replied immediately, her eyes wide.

"That's what I've been trying to *tell* you!?"

"Yeah, but I don't know WHAT is wrong!" She cried out, her hands flailing about as she spoke. "It started with a weird dream and then I ran into you and that weird person that keeps texting me and then Minerva was totally weird and- and... and it's almost like... like..."

"A dream?" Grim asked curiously, wanting to know more about the start of Yuna's day. However, there seemed to be a misunderstanding, as the question only seved to cause Yuna to begin muttering to herself.

"My God, yes! EXACTLY! I- I knew that..." She stopped suddenly, voice and eyes distant, like they were staring at something beyond the school doors and walls. "Everything was...perfect. Too perfect."

Her phone buzzed again. The strange messenger was back at it again.

?: 'Yuna. I know you're afraid. But you can't let yourself be tricked.' ?: 'Meet me on the roof after school. I'll explain everything then.'

Yuna sighed, typing up a response to the stranger.

Y: 'You better... This is weird as hell and I want answers. ?: 'Don't worry. You'll understand everything soon enough. I promise'

Yuna turned off her phone and put it in her pocket. She just needed to get to the end of the day, and then everything would be fine.

~~~~~

Yuna hesitantly put her hand to the door to the roof. Grim stood worriedly beside her as she pondered what she was about to witness. Faint groans and cries of outrage could be heard getting ever closer to the two of them.

"Oi… Henchman, are you gonna open the door or what?! We've got a problem on our paws now and it ain't like we're gonna solve it any by standing around here." He complained, but Yuna simply huffed.

"It's not that easy, Grim," She explained. "What if I open up this door and the person behind it wants to kill me? What about if they're one of those- those weird shadowy things?! With the day we've been having, I don't wanna risk it…"

She stared blankly at the ground for a moment, recounting the rest of her day as it had gone thus far.

First of all, her parents were still together and happy… That was fine, though. It wasn't like that set any alarm bells off in her brain…But what if it did? … No, she couldn't think about it like that. That was one of the few parts of her day so far that wasn't off in some capacity.

Next, there was the matter of Grim. The only Grim that she knew of was the cat that tagged along whenever she went to visit Ace's house. And yet? Here this odd monster was, claiming to be Grim and calling her his 'Henchman' and insisting that she was the one being odd! Not to even mention the blue flames constantly flickering from his ears and the fire that he would spit at the most minor inconveniences.

After that, there was her encounter with Minerva, which was already out of character on its own. But even after they had split, Yuna couldn't help but feel like she was being watched at nearly every opportunity after that, even when she knew for a fact Minerva shouldn't have been around.

Oh, and had she mentioned the fact that, currently, she was being pursued by a mob of angry shadow creatures that eagerly stalked the main floors of her high school, waiting for her to return to them?

It had started when she had met up with Wilomena to chat as they walked to class together. Yuna had mentioned something offhandedly about how Minerva was acting oddly out of character, when Wilomena seemed to respond as though nothing was odd about the situation at all!

~~~~~

"What do you mean you don't think this is odd for her? You were with me when she got that letter about the program? You saw how excited she was for that!"

"Well… maybe she just decided that she just wanted to stay with us as friends forever…!"

"But Mena. Even if she left, we still could've stayed friends! It just would've been harder to communicate with her is all…"

"Yuna… aren't you happy about this, though?"

Yuna's face twisted in confusion. "What do you mean 'Am I happy about this'? I wanted her to go on that trip…I wanted her to put her happiness first, not my own…" Wilomena frowned, her eyes containing something that Yuna could not recognize within her friend.

"Yuna… this is your happiest world, though…" Wilomena said, her voice almost… was it disappointed? "But this doesn't make you happy?"

Yuna was about to go off and say 'well, of course this doesn't make me happy, because I'd rather have my friends be happy first and foremost before I'm happy', which wasn't entirely truthful, but even before she could say anything, Wilomena's face shifted.

"What can we do to fix this…Perhaps we should try something else to make you happy, then?" Yuna's friend spoke, before Wilomena's visage began to melt away into something terrifyingly... familiar.

The mass of darkness that had been where Wilomena was just standing reached out to Yuna, who began to sprint away as fast as she could, picking up Grim and carrying him with her as the world began to shake and shift around her once again.

Before the direbeast could complain about the arrangement, though, Yuna's movements were made even more urgent by the fact that, now, everyone and everything around her was turning into dark masses, begging her to tell them what would make her most happy.

~~~~~

And so, here Yuna stood at the door to the roof, trying to determine if she should just accept her fate here or if she should risk it and try to find the stranger from her phone.

Suddenly, though, the sounds of fighting could be heard, the shadowy creatures wrestling with an unknown force.

On an instinct that Yuna couldn't pin down at the moment, she threw the door open, Grim prepped to attack right behind her and-

"Ah. Perfect timing, Prefect and… ah, looks like you have Grim with you as well," An unfamiliar boy (wearing… wait, was that a military uniform?!?) said, sheathing a sword. Silvery hair hung over his eyes, which were a stunning shade of… blue? Pink? Yuna couldn't be certain, but what she could tell was that the boy was incredibly elegant. "I know I promised an explanation, but it seems like we need to leave now rather than later…"

Yuna blinked slowly, trying to process the entire situation, but Grim pushed on her legs, trying to get her to move.

"We don't got time to think about things right now, Henchman! Prettyboy over there is right! We've gotta skedaddle before this gets even worse…"

Yuna was about to argue, when she noticed that the groans of the shadow monsters were approaching nearer.

"Oh, fuck this…" She grumbled, shaking her head. "Where's a baseball bat when you need one…?"

[mitski-solos]

finally finished dmmd!! took me like 15 hours but we got there

general thoughts— had way more plot and world building than i expected, thought itd be just pay gorn to be completely honest

fuck mink i skipped thru half his story

did NOT care for koujaku. dont get why ppl like him so much i mean he literally rapes aoba(i dont care that he was in berserk mode or whatever)

ig from the main routes i liked clear(we do NOT talk abt the bad ending) and noiz the most but cant praise them either i honestly didnt feel attached to ANY of these LIs

also fun fact since i brought up clears bad ending…. it was the very first ending i got.. so a very nice first impression indeed!

i liked the twins, virus and trip(ik they arent twins but its easuer to js call them that) in the very beginning, tho i did get a weird vibe from them bc twins ALWAYSSS end up being shady in japanese media! so the ending was no surprise

i think ren and aoba definitely do have the cutest good ending and make the most sense but its crazy how they got selfcest(bc ren used to be a part of aoba), incest(bc he came back to life in sei’s body…) and zoophilia(bc he was a dog for years and still has dog mannerisms (tho i dont think that its zoophilia at all its just fun to joke abt)) all in a single LI like damn were they checking off boxes???😭

first thoughts were “yaoi jesus here i come” and final thoughts were “omg fucking finally im done with this game‼️‼️”

overall it was nowhere near as enjoyable as i thought it would be ngl but it was still plenty fun AND its ok bc aoba is an icon and i think everyone who knows what the word yaoi means should definitely play this game. its a monument of queer history!!/hj

edit: THERES A FCKING SPINOFF???? kms

[ladyowen]

It wasn't time that did it it

☆Joel&Ellie fanfiction, no plot, just a lot of fluff mixed with a dash of angst and hope.

☆TLDR: Ellie has flashbacks from Fedra school and thinks about her relationship with Joel and her friends, they all unite together to give her the best Jackson experience. Joel sings to Ellie and she figures out that they are intertwined in every universe

☆4,7k words

Settling into Jackson is proving itself to be much more difficult, than Ellie thought it would be.

Everyone has been sweet and kind to her, especially Joel. So fucking sweet and kind. And that was the fucking problem. Nobody has ever been so..nice to her, not ever. At least not for that long, without wanting something in return.

(Ellie didn't think that she could really count Riley, because the girl didn't have much choice than to be her roommate. And even tho they were bestfriends, Riley had still decided to leave her and fun away to join the Fireflies, even if she came back in the end, which was a mistake. Maybe if she had never returned to say her goodbies, she would still be alive and well. Riley was her first victim.)

And that was the thing, she didn't know what could Joel possibly want from her and honestly, she has been getting more and more anxious thinking about it every day.

The people from QZ that had raised her, did so just so she could join the community in the future and be in the workforce, they didn't waste any of their precious recourses for someone, that wouldn't be a future working prospect.

Marlene wanted to keep her alive just because of her imunity, she had kept her locked inside a room for observation, caring for her as if she was more of a lost puppy than a human being. She wasn't exactly mean to her, but not kind either.

Ellie was pretty sure, that nobody could ever love her for herself alone, without seeing her as the way to the cure, as an asset or for her body.

(She didn't want to think about David, but his words were still carved deep into her mind. The way his hands had grabbed her, his face tensed up in anger, the smell of the fire and how it felt when he...)

That was until Joel came along.

She was just a cargo for him at first, a job that needed to be done so that he could find his brother- and save the humanity. But he didn't leave her, not after Tess's death, not after he had found out that there wasn't any way to make a cure.

Suddenly she wasn't just a job to be done and get over, she felt important and loved for the first time in her whole life. She became important to him for some reason. At least enough that he had saved her, multiple times. Even when he had never said it out loud, or directly to her.

'When i went to pull the trigger, I-I flinched, Still dont know why.

Anyway, the reason im telling you all of this-

I know why you're telling me all this.

Yeah, I reckon you do.

So time heals all wounds, I guess.

It wasn't time that did it.'

(And maybe, maybe she had saved him too.)

Like right now, he was tolerating having her head in his lap, slowly stroking her hair with his rough fingers, while they were watching an old movie and eating popcorn. Not as a special treat, for something that she had managed to do or some accomplishment, but just because. Without any reason behind it.

The main problem was, that she was living for these moments, to be close to him, listening to his stories from the time before the cordyceps outbreak, she didn't want this to ever come to an end.

But nobody had ever kept her for this long yet, and she didn't know what the the price for that was. He never said anything about how she could pay him back, not a single word. He wasn't reminding her of how in debt she was to him every day, or that she wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for him.

It was much easier in the QZ, she didn't have to think about it there, the rules and expectations were set in stone and everyone knew about them. If you fuck it up, you find out and they will swiftly make you forget about ever doing it again.

Not only was that system very effective and worked almost perfectly, at least in her school.

She knew most of the punishments, some were harsher than the others but there were always consequences to her actions and she was definitely one of the most troubled kids.

(It didn't matter than it was mostly because of the constant bullying from teachers and other kids, or that she was truly trying her best but it was never good enough for anyone.)

(Ellie had imagined that joel would say something like that it was because they were assholes and just didn't care enough to truly get inside her little gremlin brain. But she was never brave enough to share that part of her live with him, too scared that by saying it he would think it through and decide that she was truly not worth it.)

Fuck around and find out, that was the unspoken rule that everyone knew there. No exceptions. It didn't matter if it was clearly an accident, or if someone else framed you for it, you still got the consequences.

The almost faded scars, that were all around her upper back and shoulders, were a clear reminder of it for some time now, but it didn't seem to be the same here in Jackson, or at least not with Joel.

There wasn't much time for him to really discipline her on the road, or even in the hospital. But even than he had never even tried to, other than making his annoyance clear to her and trying to frame Tommy to take her away.

(But he came back in the end, and that was more than any adult had done for her before.)

Even when she was really trying to imagine him punishing her, there wasn't reay any punishment that seemed to suit him. At least not the ones that she had went through in the QZ.

He didn't hit her, not even once. It wasn't like she enjoyed being hit, but she was more than used to it from the QZ. She wasn't exactly the strongest and when Riley left, that had made her into guite an easy target for the other kids. She didn't even count the adults, because that was normal. A few slaps here, some kicks there maybe even a whipping if she had crossed the line enough or when they've just felt like it.

But for some reason, he was proving himself to be more overprotective of her, guarding her from any harm that could possibly come across her way. She still didn't really know why, but it seemed like he was even glad for her clumsy and yapping company for some weird reason. Even tho he had never missed the opportunity to tell her how annoying she was or call her a brat, it never seemed to more than just a playful teasing.

"Your head is gonna explode from thinking so hard, kiddo. Your brain is not used to it." Joel was looking directly into her face now, instead of the movie, again with the stupid kind smile plastered on his face. He must have noticed that she was out of it long ago, but just didn't say anything until now.

Which was another thing, that would have gotten at least her fingers snapped by the ruler a few times in the QZ, but here it didn't seem to be such a big deal.

"Fuck off, old man. At least mine doesn't have just hundred years old spiderwebs in it." She was now smirking at him, quickly gaining back her composure. He seemed to be more amused by her words, than offended in any way.

"Little brat, watch the movie." That was just one of his nicknames, that seemingly appeared to come out of nowhere, right after his favorite 'kiddo.' Not that she was complaining in the slightest, even tho it wasn't the nicest one, it was hers.

And she never had anything that was trully hers until now.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Ellie was listening to Jesse's yapping about the new space movie, something about a big bang and aliens, that he had heard about last night from some new kid in their school, when the topic of punishments suddenly came up for the very first time from Cat.

They were tacked up the unused part of the barn, that now was more of as their secret base, where they were spending most of their time after school or just whenever they needed to get away from the adults.

"Can you even believe it, my mum is so freaking ridiculous, she decided to punish me because of the missed curfew yesterday." Cat was saying, clearly really annoyed by her mum.

And suddenly, Ellie was looking at her, her eyes almost popping out from her skull, scanning her from top to bottom, trying to find some kind of an injury or bruise from the punishment. But there wasn't anything visible, or at least not where she could see it.

No bruises on her face from slapping, no split lip from it either. The girl appeared to be moving just fine and not in pain, so the probability that she was whipped or cut were really slim, unless she was really good at covering it.

Cat didn't seem to notice Ellie's frantic checkup on her, too bussy complaining about her parents. And Jesse seemed to be too bussy explaining how the alien ship worked to care about how- borderline insane- she was looking.

"I wasn't even that late! Just half an hour. She's just so dramatic." There was an overemphasised sigh at the end of the sentence, before the girl threw herself back on the stack of old hay.

Ellie was pretty sure, that her heart was being really close to just jumping out of her chest at that moment, and running far away from there. She could feel the tight knot getting even tighter in her stomach, if that was even possible, before she managed to gather the courage to finally ask.

"How did..how did she punish you?" Ellie asked more quietly than usual, trying to stop her voice from trembeling. On one side, she really didn't want to know, but on the other she felt like she needed to know so she could prepare herself, because Joel would surely be at least similar in this like the other parents in Jackson.

(The fact that she had stayed past her curfew so many times without getting in trouble, didn't even seem to cross her mind, with how much she was focused on thinking about the perfect plan how to help out her friend.)

Her mind was fully running and she was imagining the worst case scenarios, from getting all of her rations taken away, to solitary containment for weeks on end.

She didn't know, how would the taking away rations really work in Jackson, because seemed to be more than plentiful there, but if that was the case, she could share hers.

Joel was always so worried about her not eating enough, so they have plenty of fresh food like eggs and vegetables in their fridge, even some snacks. Maybe she could just sneak in and take a little bit and he probably wouldn't even notice. It wouldn't be the first time, that she would have to steal food for herself or someone else.

Being fast and small- even tho it was mainly from malnutrition- were always one of her biggest advantages. She could sneak almost anywhere without being noticed, and there always was a tiny hiding spot, just big enough for her in the close proximity, somewhere where noone else would even try to fit in.

Or maybe, if it was really bad, she could hide Cat in her room. Or run away with her, maybe not out of Jackson but to somewhere safe. They could take some supplies and hide, just like she did in the QZ. There weren't much good hiding places in Jackson, but surely she could manage to find at least something.

Or maybe they could try-

"She took all of my new fantasy books away!"

Oh.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

The school in Jackson was also very different from what she had been used to.

Nobody was fighting over food during lunch time- mostly because everyone had their lunch prepared and delivered from the dinning room, or their parents had packed them one- but still. Not even one person tried to steal her food, which was weird.

More than weird.

They've had lunches back in the QZ too, but the food there had been entirely different. In Jackson, it almost always was some kind of meat or fish- mostly chicken or any other type of birds, because they were the easiest to take care of- potatoes or bread with vegetables and a piece of fruit, sometimes even something sweet for a dessert.

Where as in the QZ, their lunches had mostly consisted of dried meat of any kind, makeshift hard bread or crackers and sometimes canned vegetables or fruit, but that was only a few times a month if even that.

(Ellie was just really glad that they didn't have to eat rats at that time like she had seen some guys in the QZ cooking and than selling to people. Their food might have been gross and bland but at least it wasn't rats- or at least she had hoped that it wasn't.)

And there weren't daily fights about it like back in the QZ either, nobody was trying to take more than what was his, even tho she saw a few kids traiding a portion of their food, it never seemed forced.

The first few times, that she had gotten her lunch there, she was half expecting someone else to just grab it out of her hands and fight with her for it. But no one did, they didn't even try, she was still very wary about her food tho, gulping it down faster than anyone else, but nobody seemed to be judging her for it, even tho she did notice a few pitying looks here and there, that she didn't feel the need to react to.

But she never ate the meat.

Wasting any kind of food would be more than unimaginable for her just a few months ago, but now she just couldn't force herself to eat it, especially if it was a stew, no matter how hard she tried.

'It was a last resort. You think it doesn't shame me? But what was I supposed to do? Let them starve? These people who put their lives in my hands? Who expect me to keep them safe? Who love me?'

But she wasn't so stupid to tell about it to anyone, wasting anything edible has always been greatly punished in the QZ, she still remembered the one time that she had refused to eat a ration nut bar, because of her alergy to peanuts.

(It wasn't that unusual for people to be allergic to stuff even now, but even that didn't seem to matter that much in the QZ, depending on the guard that was on duty and she had the misfortune to get one that hated her guts that day.)

She had gotten all of her rations, other than water, taken away from her for three days and if it wasn't for Riley, she was pretty sure that that would have killed her already malnourished body at that time.

There was no way in hell that she would risk that happening again, especially because Riley wasn't there to save her ass anymore, by her own fault. How ironic.

At first, she did try to hide it somewhere, dumping it inside of a big flower pot or giving it to the dog, that was almost always roaming around since there was food, but just a week of her trying to get unsuspiciously get rid of it, someone had noticed.

And that someone was Jesse.

"Do you wanna swap with me?" The boy was asking her, suddenly coming almost out of nowhere, while holding up a small plate with a peace of peach fruit pie on it.

"Swap?" Ellie snaps out of it and looks at him, she has been too focused on scanning the room trying find a new hiding spot for the bits of her food that she didn't want- the meat, to notice that he came to her.

Swap was a new word and she didn't know if she liked it yet. Especially not if it had to do with her giving him a portion of her food, or him taking it away from her.

"Yeah you know I give you something you give me something in return. I don't really like sweets and you don't seem to enjoy the meat very much..i don't think the plant is really enjoying it either."

Alright, maybe her meat hiding ritual didn't go as unnoticed as she had originally thought.

"Fine, but just because i feel sorry for you and you really need to build some muscles."

(Jesse had never told her, that she could just ask the cantene lady to make her food vegetarian, he didn't think that it mattered that much, even tho he didn't really enjoy meat either, eating mostly plant based at home. It could be their little secret. And if she had ever asked him about it, he would simply just say that the plant was on its last leg and didn't deserve such suffering- that wasn't a lie either.)

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Ellie knew, that she could never live up to Sarah.

She wasn't as pretty as her, she didn't always have the right words to say and she especially wasn't as smart as her.

She just wasn't enough. She couldn't be enough. Not for him.

Even when he had placed her picture with him right next to Sarah's, it felt like the girl was looking down at her. Because he had never looked at her like he did at his daughter in the photos, not even close. Maybe that was the reason why she had decided to slowly start moving the photo away from Sarah's, hoping that it would go unnoticed and it wouldn't have to be a constant reminder for him that she will never live up to the daughter, that he had lost.

Joel's words were still rooted really deep inside her, digging their tiny thorns into her heart and squeezing tightly around her little heart every time, leaving it to slowly bleed out, everytime that she managed to even borderline dissapoint him, or when she didn't manage to live up to her own standards that she tried to set up for herself.

'Maria told me about Sarah and.

No. Don't say another word.

Im sorry about your daughter Joel, but i've lost people too.

You have no idea what loss is.'

She knew, that he was still deeply hurting because of Sarah's death, but that still didn't make it alright for him to tell her something so ridiculous.

If there was someone who knew everything about loosing people, it was her.

'Everybody i had cared for, had either died or left me.'

Everyone, who had anything to do with her, had died one way or another. Riley got infected because of the stupid need to say goodbye to her- and she had died by her hand-, Tess got infected because of her too- trying to chase a faint dream of finding some form of a cure that wasn't even possible-, and Marlene died... because of her.

Even her own parents hadn't bother to stay around and raise her. Not even her own flesh and blood, the ones who were supposed to be able to love her unconditionally.

Maybe she really was that unlovable.

'Everybody fucking except for you! So don't tell me, that i would be safer with somebody else, because the truth is, I would just be more scared.'

The truth was, that she has been scared her entire life. If not for her own life, than for somebody elses. There wasn't a day that she wasn't worrying about what will happen to her, or her loved ones. And maybe it wasn't noticible, but she was so fucking terrified.

She was so scared of her life in Jackson, scared of loosing her newfound friends again by her fault, like she did with Riley. She was so afraid of screwing up again and watching the people around her die or get hurt because of her.

Because Ellie Williams was a menace, a deadly curse that always managed to destroy everything at least tiny bit worthy around her.

'You're right, you're not my daughter.

And I sure as hell ain't your dad.'

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

She has never really been a musical type of person. Sure, she did like to listen to some music during her chores or when she had free time, but it was mostly a way for her to get inspired and gain new ideas for her drawings.

Drawing was her thing, she didn't even know when it started, but she was always sketching something on any little pieces of paper or anything really, that she could find in her free time.

(Sometimes even during school, but miraculously enough that never seemed to get her in trouble in Jackson, since she was more than particular about staying on top of her learning at all times, never slacking no matter what.)

The whole process of drawing had always helped her to get her mind together, to stay calm and collected and forget about everything bad that was happening in the world.

It wasn't really about what she was drawing, but more about the reason why she was drawing it. If someone had opened one of her sketchbooks, they could see her whole life sketched out in front of their eyes, everything that had even mattered to her.

She drew Riley, because she wanted to remember her forever as her bestfriend, not as a mindless infected runner that was trying to torn her apart and especially not as the bleeding gun shot wound on her forehead.

She drew Tess, because she deserved to be remembered for her actions and for the hope in humanity, but mostly because she seemed to be an important part of Joel's life.

She drew her friends- Dina, Jesse and Cat, because they were practically like a second family to her by now, even tho they were usually an annoying pain in her ass.

There were also sketches of animals, from horses to dogs to other livestock. Some drawings of buildings, of the infected or even of food and just nature by itself.

But most importantly, she drew Joel. His drawings were always the most detailed ones, even if it was just a silly sketch of him being on the front porch, holding his favorite cup filled with disgusting bean water, that he seemed to love for some reason.

(Coffee wasn't really easy to get, but Ellie could never see the appeal in it. It was disgusting and bitter, maybe drinkable after adding a lot of milk. But Joel loved it, one time he even traded 2 of his favorite hunting knives for a stupid little bag of coffee beans, but he had banned her from ever mentioning it to anyone.)

Music was Joel's, most importantly his guitar. Ellie still didn't know where he had learned how to play it, but he was really good at it, maybe even better than she was in drawing stuff.

Which was why she couldn't make herself refuse, when he had offered to teach her how to play it one evening.

"Alright kiddo, just put ya little fingers there." Joel was trying to show her how to play the first accord of his favorite song, and she was desperately trying to get it right.

The guitar was gently placed on her lap, while he was standing behind her with his hand on hers, guiding her where to put her fingers to play.

She put her fingers in the right position, exactly how he was showing her, and tried gently stroking the strings with her other hand.

"See! You're a real natural. A few more lectures and you will be better than me." Ellie was fighting to keep the red color from coming onto her cheeks, but she didn't seem to have much success.

"Shut it old man. Agh this is horrible. Now its your turn." And just in a moment, she was turning around showing the guitar gently into his hands, before she sat down on the floor in front of him.

"Little brat." Joel was saying with a slight smile on his lips, knowing why she had done it but not daring to say a word about it to embarass her enough, he would save it for a better opportunity.

He sat down on a chair, with the guitar still in his hands, trying to remember all of the words to the song, that he had promised to play to her again, seeing how patient she seemed to be, maybe even a bit excited.

He was never one to play for someone else, but even that had seemed to change when she came around.

With his fingers in the right positions, he slowly started playing the melody, soon adding the words to it, putting the whole song together.

"If i ever were to loose you,

id surely loose myself.

Everything i have found here,

I've not found by myself.

Try and sometimes you will succeed,

to make this man of me.

All my stolen missing parts,

I've no need for anymore.

Cause I believe,

and I believe cause i can see,

our future days.

Days of you and me.

Back when I was feeling broken

I focused on a prayer

You came deep as any ocean

Did something out there hear?

All the complexities and games

No one wins but somehow they still played

All the missing crooked hearts

They may die but in us they live on.

Cause I believe,

and I believe cause i can see,

our future days.

Days of you and me.

When hurricanes and cyclones raged,

When winds turned dirt to dust,

When floods they came, the tides they raised,

Ever closer became us.

And all the promises at sundown,

I meant them like the rest.

All the demons used to come 'round,

I'm grateful now they've left.

So persistent in my ways,

Hey angel, I am here to stay.

No resistance, no alarms,

Please, this is just too good to be gone.

Cause I believe,

and I believe cause i can see,

our future days.

Days of you and me.

You and me,

It's just, you and me."

And with his last words, Ellie truly knew for the first time in her whole life, that she belonges here. Right in that moment, no matter her past or the mistakes that she had done.

There was no place else that she would rather be at that second, than with him there.

She knew, that the future will be harsh and cruel, but nobody could ever take this moment away from her and that was what mattered, because right now, she was his as much as he was hers.

Their souls were forever intertwined together, destined to meet in every universe.

They had truly saved each other, even if they didn't know it yet, they were engraved deeply inside each other's souls.

No mattered what will happen, they were each others missing peace.

Never to be torn apart by death, or any other force.

The two of them were intertwined by thousands of different lifetimes, playing an interchangeable role in every single one.

(Because every single on of us has a little piece of Joel and Ellie hidden deep inside, and through us they live forever, till the end of time itself.)