#mike trimbol

[busylickingsatansballs]

The Lies We Tell.

Troy Otto x wife Trimbol reader

Summary: Y/N confronts Troy about their shared and complicated past, yes they're in love, yes he killed her whole family no this man can do no wrong. Don't come at me. Martha is a made up camp doctor.

Warnings: toxic, mentions of pregnancy, death, canon typical violence. Arguments, swearing and if you find anything else please lmk.

Troy couldn't remember how they'd got here, the back and fourth bickering had turned into a full blown argument. Y/N stomped into the tent Troy hot on her heels "because it's none of your business Troy." she shouted stopping in the middle huffing out a breath as she blew a stray hair out of her face.

God she was beautiful.

"none of my business? You're my wife." he spat "I deserve to know." she scoffed rolling her eyes.

"no you don't." she threw back balling her fists chest heaving from the intensity of their argument. "if you don't tell me I'll go find Martha and force her to tell me." Y/N scanned his face to see if he was serious, he was.

"cause that's your answer to everything isn't it, brute force. Tell me Troy, how well did that work out at the ranch?" Troy's face hardened.

"I'm not like that anymore, that was a mistake."

"all of it?"

"all of it." he repeated.

She shook her head "if you needed to know I would tell you." her voice was quiter. "you don't need to know not yet."

"I don't want you to leave me I wouldn't survive it not now. You have no idea how much power you have over me." he sounded pathetic but he didn't care.

"The feelings mutual believe me." Troy moved closer fingers dancing up her arm.

"You can always talk to me Y/N, always be honest."

She searched his gaze, face unreadable. "and you've always been honest with me? About everything?" she was digging, tone in her voice shifting suggesting she knew more than she let on.

He'd be a fool to lie now, but he did it anyway.

"Of course." Troy swallowed breaking under her scrutiny as the guilt weighed his eyes to the floor.

"Even what happened with Mike, Gretchen, my mom and dad." she knew. He dropped his arms from her skin but she didn't move away.

"How long?" he tried to speak but couldn't get out the words. I mean what would he say? 'Hey, How long have you known that I'm the reason you're an orphan.?' yeah no.

"Long enough." she whispered eyes dancing over his features, his eyes stayed down.

"I'm sorry." he started "I know." she didn't sound as upset as he'd thought.

"If I could go back-" she didn't let him finish that thought.

Carrying on speaking as if she hadn't heard him.

“I remember sitting there waiting, just waiting for this hate to take over and it just didn't. I still loved you, you killed my family and I married you, doesn't that tell you everything? And then it hit me there was nothing.”

Troy dared to look at her, she looked calm albeit slightly sweaty, her hair clung to her forehead stray curls framed her features.

"Nothing that you could ever do that could ever make me stop loving you.” she was crying now. He pulled her into his arms, relief flooding his system when she clung tighter to him.

"I didn't bring all this up as a guilt trip, I need you to understand that things are different now, I forgave you a long time ago. There are more important things to worry about now."

More important? What could possibly be bigger than this?

He didn't care.

He was too selfish to let her go. As long as she was willing he was going to try and if she wasn't maybe even then.

"I wish I could go back and change things I'd be different, be a better man for you. I need you, everyday you make me better."

He heard her sniffle, her shaky hands wiped her face as she took a step back to properly look him in the face.

"I'm pregnant."

Well shit.

[all-that-is-gold-is-now-gone]

You

Wouldn't

Last

An Hour

In the Asylum where they raised me

[noemitenshi]

Lark

or

And silently loom the shadows of my past

Summary: Tracy loves to cause mischief - but this time she may have just gone too far

“Tracy!?”

Troy shouted his daughters name in the way all parents did when they suspected – more than that, were most certainly convinced, at least Troy was, that their kid had done something stupid. And as all kids that most certainly had done something stupid, Tracy did not answer her father's call. "God damn it," Troy muttered. Normally, he'd be charmed by Tracy's antics − but not when it put others in danger. And she most certainly had – put someone in danger.

She knew better than that. He had taught her better than that, god damn it. What the fuck had she been thinking?! Ok, no, that wasn’t any use, getting angry at her, he thought, as he ran restless fingers through his hair. First he needed to know exactly what had happened – though he could guess. Could guess that Tracy had dared Tom (Deborah’s son. Deborah, who was still standing right next to him, equal parts annoyed and worried) to do something dangerous. Because Tom hadn’t been seen for hours. By anyone, if Deborah was to be believed.

It wasn’t the first time those two had done stupid things – to everyone’s sorrow they seemed to have deemed this the most interesting game among themselves; daring one another to do dangerous, forbidden things. Troy had a feeling that Tracy had started it. Their whole dynamic reminded him uncomfortably of himself and Mike—

“Russell?!”

Russell, unlike Tracy, was quick to follow Troy’s call. Good man. He still wasn’t sure how he’d been lucky enough to find someone like him, but he was glad to. Russell was Troy’s second in command, his most trusted fighter. And he’d earned that title over and over again. Their friendship ran deep – as it tended to do when you’d saved their life and they’d saved yours, over and over again.

Russell came over, his expression telling Troy he was expecting to receive orders. There was a certain tone Troy used when he went into leader mode.

“Any chance you seen Tom?” Troy asked without much hope and Russell shook slowly his head, his eyes sweeping the area. “No,” he said slowly and then, as Troy expected of him, his mind went where Troy’s was, “Tracy…?”

The question didn’t even need asking in its entirety. Troy nodded swiftly.

“We think so. She’s also nowhere to be found.”

Russell didn’t hesitate, radio-ing the rest of their men, urgently.

“We’ll find him,” Troy assured Deborah. She nodded, though didn’t go without a muttered,

“When that boy gets home…”

Troy took this as a good sign. If she could threaten her son, she wasn’t as worried as he’d feared. He, himself, on the other hand, had a very bad feeling about this. Tracy making herself scarce like this meant she knew this one was bad. Or – she was with Tom. On whatever ill-advised adventure they’d cooked up.

And he didn’t know which one to hope for.

They did end up finding Tracy pretty quickly. And it turned out all his instincts had been right and she had done something very stupid. Troy breathed through the urge to grab and shake her, shout at her until she understood what it was their childish games had ended up.

But by the way she looked at him, head tilted towards the ground, her eyes flicking up just for moments at time, looking pointedly away when he caught her gaze, he knew she knew she’d fucked up.

“Where could he have gone?” he pressed out instead, focused on finding Tom, who she’d dared to go outside the fence.

Alone.

He’d made sure all kids were well-trained – but even so, they were not used to being out on their own. No way to tell they wouldn’t panic or freeze in the face of danger. And though for Troy it was second nature to be outside, he knew it wasn’t for the kids. Even if they’d seen walkers up close, he’d also made sure they knew them, knew how they moved, how to incapacitate them, it was still different when they weren’t chained up. When there weren’t adults around.

“Fucking hell, Trace,” he growled – the only way he allowed himself to show his anger – and she shrank back. “Where do I find him?!”

“I… I don’t know…” she finally whispered her response.

God damn it.

God fucking damn it.

These childish fucking games. He’d known where they led to, he’d fucking known. Why hadn’t he put a stop to it sooner?!

He grimaced, wishing he could hit something. Tracy still looked at him with wide, guilty eyes. If they wouldn’t find Tom in time, it’d be on her conscience. He couldn’t let it.

“Let’s go!” he ground out, turning on his heels and stalking away, expecting both Russell and Tracy to follow.

He went for the dirt bikes. Tom probably didn’t get far, but they still had a lot of area to cover, and most of it wasn’t easily accessible by car – that had been by design. So their camp was well-hid.

“Is… Tom going to die?” his daughter asked, voice timid and almost inaudible. He grit his teeth.

“Not if I’ve got anything to say about it.”

And that was that.

Minutes later they were past the front gates, and they wouldn’t be the only ones, Russell had stayed back to organize a larger search party. But he couldn’t wait around for it, not with such a thing hanging over the conscience of his daughter. They needed to find Tom before something else did.

“Any idea where he could’ve gone?” he shouted over the engine noise over his shoulder. He felt her shake her head against his back. “Think, Trace! Anything you two talked about? Anything he said he was curious about?” He tried to jog her memory – if there even was one – while the world flew past them, his sharp eye sweeping the area, again and again – he wouldn’t want to miss anything.

Then, Tracy’s arms around his middle tightened, and he turned his focus back to her, just before she whispered a hesitant,

“Dad… the stream. I think he went to the stream…”

Troy had already turned the bike around, not waiting for her to finish the question, then relayed the information to Russell. Tracy’s grip on him was still tight, tight.

He started at the closest point to their camp, driving upstream. Tracy was leaning to the side, probably so she could watch their surroundings, too. Could catch sight of Tom, if there was any. Hopefully Tracy was right with her guess. Hopefully Tom hadn’t strayed too far.

“There!” Tracy’s trembling voice rang out – firmer now. Troy had already seen it, too, a little dam made out of stray branches in the stream. Something a kid would do. And a bit further away he could see a fresh path trampled into the undergrowth. He tucked his lips under his teeth, a subconscious gesture of concentration, and sped along that path—only to come to an abrupt stop when he saw two figures – fighting. The smaller one had to be Tom, or at least some other kid, not big enough to be an adult. The other was, though, the one pulling and dragging at Tom, while he tried to kick and bite this unknown figure.

So it wasn’t a walker then. A walker would’ve chomped down already. The unknown figure turned their head, just a quick look backwards, before trying to hurry Tom along even more insistently. And for a second Troy thought he knew that figure. Maybe it was the hair, or the build, or maybe the semblance of her profile…whatever it was, for a second he thought he’d seen a vision of his past. Or a nightmare.

For a second he’d thought this was Madison.

He used to see her in every flash of blonde hair, in every slender figure, in every blue-eyed woman… back then, when he’d barely survived her at the dam. He used to see her everywhere for years. But not for a while now. Not in the last few. Not since… Tracy?

But that couldn’t be. It couldn’t be because she was dead, his mind playing tricks on him again. He must’ve been more apprehensive than he’d thought about Tom vanishing like he had, why else would his mind show him a ghost of his past.

All of that only lasted for a second, a slight hesitation, then the gun was in his hand and a shot rang out.

The figure keeled over and Tom ran. Good boy. Tracy started to run, too, no doubt trying to get to Tom, but Troy caught up with her in long strides, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Stay,” he hissed, and she nodded with wide eyes, chastised. That was why he didn’t want kids out alone, they weren’t yet able to adhere to all the rules, all those things that would keep them alive. Too easily distracted. He pressed a gun into her hand – no way to know if this woman had been alone and he’d be damned if he left his daughter unprotected. Then he ran towards Tom, towards this woman. Whatever she had planned with Tom, he had to know. Had to know if she’d acted alone. If they were in danger.

Tom ran towards him, too, and seconds later was wrapped around Troy’s legs.

“Go to Tracy,” Troy whispered, tone tense. He had no time to soothe him, though Tom looked like he needed it.

Later. There was time for this, later.

The woman was half-crawling, half-dragging herself away from Troy, leaving a bloody trail behind. He was able to block her path only moments later. That stopped her pitiful attempts to get away and she raised her head. His breath caught in his throat and the blood in his veins turned to ice.

“…Madison?” he whispered in a voice that didn’t sound like his.

“You?!” Her voice very much sounded like her. Angry and ready to fight. Though there was a slight tremor in it, too. And when she’d spoken he’d seen her bloody teeth, the blood welling in her mouth. He’d at least damaged the lungs. It wasn’t likely that she’d make it.

He knelt down, to her eye level.

“What the fuck are you doing, stealing kids?” he asked. She glared at him.

“As if… you haven’t done worse.” Her breathing was labored, and she ended up coughing after that sentence. It wracked her body and it looked like she’d lose her balance, fall. He caught her.

“In fact, I haven’t,” he informed her while his arms steadied her. Kids were off limits. Especially when they weren’t doing anything threatening. He couldn’t imagine that Tom had threatened her.

God, this felt unreal. Of course it did. He’d thought her dead. The nightmare of his past. But here she was, alive.

Dying.

He almost felt like moving to stop the bleeding. It wouldn’t help, though. Not for long.

What was she doing, stealing kids?! Was this the same Madison that had whacked him for… for what, actually? Being a perceived danger to her kids? Out of morality?

“… I thought I killed you.”

Of course she didn’t answer his question. Still playing her games, still trying to have the upper hand. Not this time, though. This time she’d lose. Her shirt was already soaked through.

She knew it, too. It was in her tone, still angry but now, now there was surrender in it, as well.

“Next time you’d best stay to make sure, huh? My ability to survive is unparalleled.”

“I will,” she whispered. He almost didn’t understand her, with how much she was coughing up blood. It wouldn’t take long now.

“Why did you try to take Tom? What do you do with the kids?” That was a guess, that she’d taken more. She hadn’t contradicted him on it before. And she didn’t now, either. Instead some of her fight returned and she hissed,

“Why do you care?!”

Hissed it like she didn’t believe he did, and blamed him for it. His lack of caring. He had no intention of getting drawn into her bullshit.

“Does it matter?” he asked pointedly. She was dying after all. He cared or he didn’t, it would be irrelevant to her in a few short minutes. He couldn’t help himself though and added, “Tell yourself… I’ll save them.”

She laughed, short and ugly and he smirked in return. It didn’t last for long because then she was coughing again. Longer this time. He waited for it to ease.

“What happens to them, Madison?” he asked again, serious now. Commanding. She felt her life drain from her. What would it matter if she told him, indeed. So she did, all the while telling herself he’d save those kids.

He’d saved this one from her, after all, hadn’t he.

-The end-

Or more like, the beginning. Of course Troy now sets his eyes on P.A.D.R.E., mobilizing his entire force to save the kids and their parents. And he gets a neat little compound out of it, too. The people from his past he'd run into doing that (e.g. Luciana, Daniel, ..?) could still be assholes to him, but this time most would get around to seeing he has changed. And/or they operate on the principle of 'better the devil you know'.

[otto-serena]

Not Gone

AU Verse

@otto-troy

Laurel had gotten away from Madison, from PADRE. Her hands were still ziptied as she wandered through the forest of the mainland trying to find her way to Troy's compound. Although that would have been a lot easier if he told her where it was. But when sending her back to PADRE to gather information for him, he had kept that a secret from her. It had been a struggle to get out of a PADRE, Madison had locked her in a room to keep her there, although Lyn had gotten out through the air vent in the room.

Now she was wandering, trying to get her hands out of the goddam zip ties Madison had locked her in. Although Lyn figured Troy had enough men, eyes, and ears around that she'd be found soon enough, she just had to keep moving, hopefully in the right direction. If worst came to worst she could get to Morgan's small cabin and there was probably a radio there.

After walking for a while Lyn heard something behind her, she turned and saw three walkers stumbling towards her. She took in a sharp breath and looked down at her hands which were still zip-tied together.

"Shit..." Lyn cursed walking backwards as she kept her eyes on the creatures. Looking at her leg she saw the blood from the cut she got while escaping, she cursed again, the blood was probably attracting them. Her eyes scanned the ground before she saw a good-sized rock. Struggling a bit she eventually grasped the rock just as the first walker got closer. Shoving the walker into a nearby tree she slammed the rock into his head until its skull broke and it fell down, officially dead. Although Lyn was quickly knocked over by the second walker. She fell onto her back, with the creature on top of her.

"No...no..." Laurel fought to hold the walker back trying to push it away which was more difficult with her hands tied than she thought. Suddenly the walker was shot off of her. The corpse fell off of her, and Lyn shot up turning to look behind her, expecting to see Troy or one of his idiots, but it wasn't someone she recognized. It was a man, she knew that perhaps as tall as Troy but she couldn't see his face. He wore a mask, a ski mask from the looks of it, that covered his mouth and his forehead, and then he wore some kind of goggles. He had a rifle pointed towards her still and she didn't move. He had a pack slung across his back. He wore a jacket, which looked like it used to be an old faded camo jacket and dark pants. The man raised his rifle again and Lyn readied herself to get up and run, but the shot landed behind her and the third walker fell to the ground.

"Who are you?" Laurel demanded looking at the man who stood a few feet from. He stared at her for a second, before he slung the rifle across his shoulder, and pulled the goggles away from his face, then the ski mask down from his face.

"What...the fuck..." Lyn's eyes widened in both shock and confusion as she recognized the face.

Mike chuckled softly and nodded, "The feelings mutual, princess. It's been a while." The man was older but still had the golden brown hair, the beard, and the familiar eyes of Mike Trimbol. Although he looked hardened, different, Lyn could tell by looking at him he wasn't the same soft soldier who joined the Militia at the ranch. He had a scar on his cheek, that looked like something from a knife tracing down his jaw till it tapered off towards his neck where his beard no longer grew.

"What, what are you doing here? You...you're supposed to be dead..." Lyn asked softly still in shock as she stared at Mike. He walked over to her and helped her up, pulling a knife from his belt and breaking the zip ties around her wrist.

Mike laughed again, "I could say the same about you." Lyn looked at him in confusion and he continued, "I went back to the ranch. Saw it was overrun. Found Jake...Coop...figured everyone fucking died. So what the hell are you doing out here?"

Laurel swallowed, "trying to find my way back. Got mixed up in something complicated. Trying to get back to my own group. But I don't know where it is."

Mike looked around, "passed a compound to the east. I wasn't close enough to know what it was, but uh, I can take you there. See if that's where you need to get to."

"Thanks," Lyn nodded, "while we walk, you can tell me how the hell you're alive."

Mike grinned and shrugged turning to walk back towards the direction he had seen the compound, "well that's a complicated story."

As the two walked back towards Troy's compound they talked, and Mike explained everything that happened to him. What happened between Troy and his family, Troy didn't kill him, but Mike's own father shot him in the shoulder while trying to aim for Troy. Mike wounded had run away and nearly died in the desert before someone found him and helped him. He had stayed away and returned to the ranch a few months later although found out it was wounded by the dead, and he figured everyone died. As the two got closer to the compound, Mike pulled his mask back on so he wasn't recognizable, figuring it might best so Troy wouldn't shoot him on sight.

Before the pair got too close to the compound a group and Troy's new Militia ambushed them, guns pointed at them. Mike raised his as well out of instinct but didn't fire.

"Hey," Laurel snapped stepping in front of Mike, so Troy's new second in charge was pointing his gun at them both, "put that down. Get Troy." She ordered, "Now!"

[otto-serena]

"You were unresponsive." Laurel pointed out looking up from her book again and staring at Troy, "I opened your eyes and shined a flashlight into them and you didn't wake up. You weren't sleeping, you passed out." She said matter of factly, "But I'm guessing you know that and just don't want to admit it." An annoyed breath left her lips and she looked back at her book trying to read.

"You're friends were just trying to help." Lyn said looking at Troy again over her book, almost sensing his annoyance, "And I'm not gonna tell anyone, okay? So you don't have to worry about that." She was quiet for a few moments, "does this happen a lot? Do you not sleep well?"

Lyn laughed softly, "No that doesn't sound like fun." She looked back at her book before glancing at Troy hesitating for a few moments before speaking again, "do you...do you want me to read for you? While we wait for the IV to finish."

Again with this woman, making everything related to her his problem, her world ended and now suddenly Troy was responsible for teaching her how to live again, her world has ended and now Troy is responsible for keeping her alive, her world has ended and now Troy wishes she would end too “why is it my problem? Go to Jake, he loves charity cases and playing good guy!” he groaned, knowing too well she wouldn’t take the hint even if it wasn’t really a hint, it was more of a clear statement.

The people were not fan of outsiders but they liked them better than they liked him, he saw Gretchen pass as they spoke “Gretchen, this is Laura or Lyn or whatever, she’s now your bestie” he said, leaving both women behind “we leave at dawn, five sharp” he stated before walking away from them, hoping this is enough to keep her away.

————

It was five O'clock, just like he stated, all of his men were in position, after all, this wasn’t their first rodeo, they were planning on visiting the eastern sides of the area, explore the little goods left behind, if Laurel was right, then the west should be avoided this time.

They were loading the trucks “alright, you know the rules, no man left behind unless they are infected then a gunshot to the head and spear them the suffering, you got one shot, don’t blow it, bullets don’t grow on trees, if any human comes between you and water, medical supplies, weapons or any life necessities don’t hesitate to shoot them, our people are out priority, don’t forget that, newbies, stick with the pros, don’t stand in our way or you will be thrown at the first walker I see.” he warned, although his warning was mainly towards Lyn, he really hoped to get rid of her the first chance he got.

Five vehicles launched all at once, they had everything a military force wishes to have in times like these, they were well equipped, ridden by trained militia, and they were difficult to get through by uninvited living or dead, Troy’s goal was to bring back the vehicles safe and loaded.

[dcyswclking]

@cfthesoul asked: ❛ i just wanna know what happened. ❜ - ethan/mike

𝚅𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚄𝚂 " 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙽𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 " 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂!

"Just had a real shitty day, that's all."

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 14.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

You were never very good at getting people gifts. What made it even harder was to get someone a gift during an uprising of the dead when you had also accidentally got them shot in the foot.

Troy walked beside you with his arm slung lazily over your shoulder as you neared Mike’s caravan. He was smirking and trying not to laugh out loud as you listed off ideas of how to make up for his lost toe.

“I don’t know why you’re worrying so much, I was the one who shot him.”

You rolled your eyes, refusing to be drawn into another argument over who bore the most responsiblity for the events that occurred a few days ago.

“Isn’t he your best friend? I just want him to like me-“

“He will like you.” Troy said confidently.

“How can you know that?” I frowned, unconvinced.

Troy gazed down at you with a lop-sided grin as you scowled.

“Because I like you.” He teased, pulling you closer to his side.

Since the night spent in your bunk Troy had become more outwardly affectionate toward you, not caring who saw the way you held his hand or how his arm would wind possessively around your waist. You had blushed at breakfast that morning when Gretchen had raised her eyebrows at the sight before winking at you across the canteen.

You mostly ignored the curious eyes and whispers from the others. Your growing relationship with your soulmate meant far more to you than gossip from a group of strangers. And if Troy didn’t care what people thought than neither did you.

Except, of course, for the people that mattered most in his life. You may have formed a sibling like attachment to Jake and Cooper always gave you a friendly nod whenever you made eye-contact but you still had Jeremiah and Mike to win over.

Troy didn’t understand your need to be liked, to be welcomed by those who were family by both blood and bond, but he indulged your desire to try with some amusement.

You reached the caravan where Mike and his family were staying, a large canopy was set up beside it giving them far more space than any other rancher. You supposed it was a perk of being a Trimbol and one of the founding fathers, or so Troy had explained.

He’d pointed out the Brown’s home further in the distance and explained that Russell lived with his wife whilst Phil McCarthy was more of a loner who remained at an outpost away from the ranch. You’d made a mental note to introduce yourself to the couple, apparently Mrs Brown loved to gossip so Troy had conveniently remembered some other duty he had to attend to whenever you suggested an appropriate time to visit.

Troy knocked none too gently on the caravan door, his arm still wrapped around you as it swung open to reveal Mrs Trimbol’s sour expression. You hesitated, not having expected to have to face Mike’s mother.

“Your son around?” Troy asked easily, “or has he run off somewhere?”

You tried to discreetly elbow him in the ribs as Mrs Trimbol’s mouth tightened into a thin line. She seemed to be avoiding looking at you.

“Troy,” she said tightly as a way of welcome, “he’s inside. Recovering.”

Troy rolled his eyes but the cocky grin never left his face.

You stood a little sheepishly, your feet fidgeting in the grass as you dropped your gaze. Troy must have sensed your discomfort, either through the connection you shared or your sudden tension. You felt something spike in your chest, a feeling that wasn’t your own. Annoyance? At Mike or at your less than warm welcome, you weren’t sure. These shared emotions between you were becoming more regular as you grew closer but were still confusing.

“We just came to wish him well, Mrs T.” Troy drawled. “But if Mike is too busy being a puss-“

“Alright, I’m here!”

Mike appeared over his mother’s shoulder, gently prying her from her defensive stance in the doorway as he hobbled from the steps leading inside and landed on the grass with a wince. He closed the door behind him before his mother could speak and eyed Troy with a wary eye.

“You’re lucky she thought you were a cute kid. If Gretch or I spoke to her like that she’d knock our heads off.”

Troy shrugged and snorted. “What do you mean were? I’m still cute.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes. Troy had his moments but cute wasn’t exactly the word you’d use for him. The words you would use brought a slight blush to your cheeks which neither man noticed, thankfully.

You couldn’t help but notice how at ease Troy seemed around Mike compared to Jake. He seemed more relaxed, his smile genuine if teasing. You tucked the observation away for another time to consider.

“Mike,” you finally spoke, “I wanted to say how sorry I am for what happened. I… wasn’t myself. I didn’t know it was you chasing after me.”

Troy interjected before Mike could respond.

“I’ve already told her you’re good with what happened, but she insisted on apologising in person.”

Mike, without the gaze of his mother upon him, also seemed more relaxed even if you could tell he was struggling to stand at his full height without putting weight on his injured foot. It was as if he didn’t want to show weakness in front of Troy, which made sense you supposed. He was technically his superior within the militia.

Also you were sure there was some male pride involved in the whole interaction.

Mike ducked his head and offered a lazy smile. His hair was shaggy and his beard well overdue some maintenance.

“You know, I can help you with that.�� You said gesturing to his hair as a sudden idea came to mind.

“You some kind of stylist, before?”

You shrugged, “Sort of, for a while.”

Pre-apocalypse you’d been a student working part time jobs to earn some money as you figured out what path you wanted to follow in life. You’d spent some time learning to cut and style hair before moving on to your next job whilst you procrastinated on choosing which subject you would commit to studying.

When you’d asked Troy about his school life he’d gone quiet before changing the subject. Perhaps getting to know Mike might help you learn a little more about Troy.

“I can’t make you look any worse. And I promise not to drop the scissors on your other toe.”

Both men laughed and the sound helped put you at ease.

“You know what, sure. It’s either you or my mother and if she had it her way she’d leave me as bald as Coop.”

You said your goodbyes and you walked away from the camp site with a spring in your step. Troy nudged you, giving you a sideways glance that clearly said told you without him have to speak.

“Do you feel better now?” He smiled.

“You know I do.” You smiled back.

And you did. Was this finally it? The lightness in your heart, was this the way you were supposed to feel with your soulmate? It felt good.

It was hard to think that you’d almost thought Troy would turn his back on you. You felt guilty, having doubted him. Especially since Troy had taken care of everything before he’d come back to you in the bunk, moving the body of the man you had… who had died… far from the ranch.

“What did you do with… it?” You asked the next day, unable to bring yourself to say the word “he”, to acknowledge the monster who had hurt you as human.

Troy had said nothing for a few moments as if weighing up whether to tell you the truth or not. You supposed you didn’t really care as long as you’d never have to set eyes upon that burned face again.

“Finished the job someone started on him.” Troy said eventually. “There wasn’t much left in the end.”

Finish the job? It took you a moment to realise…

“You burned…?”

No burial. No, people buried people. Not monsters.

You’d felt a tug in your chest and looked up to meet Troy’s eyes. He was watching you closely with that expression you hadn’t quite figured out how to read yet. You felt within you to the bond you shared but whatever he was feeling wasn’t strong enough for you to read at that moment.

“Something wrong?” He asked.

You had shaken your head, trying to keep your expression calm as you inwardly fought off the memories of hands all over your body, the smell of alcohol and fire and burning skin…

Troy stepped closer.

“Because you’re shaking,” he had told you.

You raised your hands slightly and realised he was right. Your body had begun to tremble, how had you not noticed?

Carefully, as if waiting for you to give him permission, Troy began to wrap an arm around you and pull you against his chest. You couldn’t help the way you collapsed against him. You felt as if you would cry at any moment but no tears would come.

His embrace grew steady and firm, but not tight enough that you felt trapped against him. He would have offered you comfort if there had been any to give.

“You can tell me, you know. Anything.”

You closed your eyes and listened to his steady heartbeat beneath your ear. Troy didn’t need you describe the horrors you’d been put through. Between everything that had been said already he could figure out the men he’d saved you from before were not the first to try and harm you.

“It was me,” you’d said quietly, almost hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear. “I burned him. Him and his father, while they slept…”

The words kept coming and Troy merely waited patiently as you confessed to your own monstrous act.

“I wanted them to feel it. All the pain and fear they inflicted on me.”

Troy made a sound low in his throat. You’d waited for him to recoil from you or begin asking questions, he simply held you until your trembling stopped and your breathing slowed back to a normal pace.

“Do you think I’m a terrible person?” You had whispered against his chest.

Troy did move away this time, but it had only been to look you in the eye.

“Never.”

You tried to believe him. You remembered his words before. How he understood having to do things that were necessary…

If only he could have found the words to tell you that what you’d done was a mercy compared to what he would do given the chance to get his hands on those men now. But you had taken justice into your own hands and he could only admire you for it.

Troy had been so afraid when he’d found you. Afraid you would die. Afraid you would leave. Afraid you would see him for who he really was and be just as revolted by him as everyone else in his life. His father turned a blind eye, his brother made excuses and his “friends” were either too scared to say anything or just relieved to have someone else willing to do the dirty work so they wouldn’t have to that they pretended not to see the darkest parts of him.

His mother had never hidden what she thought of him though. She could see the rot that had taken root in him as a child, she’d told him daily before she died how she wished she were strong enough to take him with her. She couldn’t leave Troy to be a burden on the world.

And then the world had changed, and Troy was no longer a burden or a thing to be frightened and ashamed of. Troy understood the world now.

And you, when he’d seen you wield that knife over Derek’s bloody throat he’d known everything he’d been through had been to lead him to you.

A mere few days had changed so much, but as Troy led you through the ranch he could finally believe that in his soulmate he had found the only person who could understand and accept him.

You allowed yourself to be led by Troy as he finally gave you a much overdue tour of the entire ranch. You scratched the heads of the cows and horses as they wandered the fields, were shown the fields they grew crops and Troy explained how they gathered power for electricity in the house. You didn’t walk all the way to Jake’s place, but Troy pointed it out and you waved to a distant figure who was sat atop the roof whom you assumed was his brother. He tolerated a whole thirty minutes talking to the Brown’s until they’d started talking wistfully about their wedding day - which apparently had taken place not long after The Pull had drawn them together.

Troy made and excuse for you to leave as soon as you were given pointed looks when Mrs Brown offered to show you her wedding dress.

You laughed as you walked the hill back to the main campsite as Troy looked horrified.

“I could be offended you know!” You mocked as he shot you a sideways look. “Perhaps I’ve always dreamed of being a bride!”

Troy groaned, “I’ve never seen the point to be honest. My father married twice and was just twice as miserable.”

You quietened at the mention of Jeremiah. You hadn’t seen nor heard from him since the night of, well, the incident.

Troy hadn’t brought him up either and you wondered if that was a good sign, or him simply avoiding a difficult conversation.

Your sudden shift in mood didn’t go unnoticed and Troy reached for your hand, pulling you against him.

“Hey I didn’t mean anything by that.”

You shook off the worry on your features and smiled, “I know. I was thinking about… it doesn’t matter.”

Troy squeezed at your hand gently.

“If it’s on your mind if matters.”

I took a deep breath.

“I was thinking about… your dad.”

A series of expressions crossed Troy’s face, from confusion to disgust.

You slapped playfully at his chest before your own expression grew more serious.

“I just meant I’m surprised he hasn’t had more to say about everything that’s happened. Have you spoken to him since…?”

Troy’s nod was slow and deliberate, as if buying some time before he’d have to answer any more questions. Your stomach drops.

“Not good, is it?”

Troy sighed.

“My old man’s a pain in the ass. You shouldn’t be worrying about him.”

How could you not? Jeremiah was head of the ranch and although the place wasn’t run like a dictatorship you knew he held a lot of influence over people.

“I don’t understand why he hates me.” You say flatly. When Troy remained silent you send him a sideways glance before speaking again. “That was very reassuring, thank you Troy.”

Blue eyes snap to yours and Troy frowns.

“What?”

You get caught between a sigh and a chuckle as Troy’s shoulders stiffen.

“Relax, I was just messing with you. Look we don’t have to talk about your dad, not today. Let’s just enjoy ourselves.”

You try to coax Troy out of his mood for a little longer but it’s clear there is something on his mind. Something he isn’t ready to share. You feel within you to the connection keeping you bound and find what feels like a wall…

You try to keep my worried expression off my face, but of course Troy can sense how you are feeling and he nudges you softly with his elbow.

"Hey, don't overthink it. You're here with me now. I'm not letting anything change that."

You try to smile and swallow down your concern. However Troy learning to keep a wall up between you was something that certainly caused you more worry.

[otto-troy]

Don’t let me get started on Nick

I was looking at some old photos and…

I think the Ranch’s photographer used to fantasize about me and Jake… glad I killed that fucker off.

[noemitenshi]

I’m rewatching there seasons and I’m wondering if Troy did go with the purpose of killing Mike, what’s your opinion?

Oh god, the Mike thing!!! I'm still not sure I have cracked that one yet haha (and it's been years XD) Forever salty we did not actually get to see what happened (they always tell us Troy is bad but they never really show us. what's that about, hmm? can't really go there...?) what I wouldn't give to see it…

Anyway, to the actual question: I don't think Troy went with the purpose to kill Mike, I believe he tells the truth when he explains himself later, namely, that he wanted to talk to Mike. He does seem pretty torn up about Mike leaving in that one scene with Madison in the pantry, where he talks about his feelings (before he goes out to confront him).

(Also notice how in this scene he's trying to open up/connect emotionally to Madison and how she only engages in as much as it leads the conversation towards her goals. when he goes "hard to know how to react to something like that" that's the heart of it, to him. What's got him confused, what he needs to understand. He's in essence asking for help there, for her to make sense of it or help him make sense of it and instead of doing any of that Madison goes "make sure no one else leaves" which is exactly her goal. bc if people leave the ranch, chances of winning the war are lower (or nonexistent if enough people leave)) Also, I fully believe, if he'd have planned to go out to kill mike he would've cleaned up his mess better. He's a lot of things but definitely not stupid. And you see how oh shit he is about being found out when Madison comes back with the bodies.

You also see that he is unhappy with himself in that talk they have shortly after - in which he tells her his reasons for going after them.

Namely, because he felt Mike owed it to him to tell him to his face (that their friendship was over). Which I also find believable. My reasoning is that in the already referenced pantry scene, he did voice his confusion over mike leaving pretty clearly. He really wanted, no, needed to know (I think that may be one of his driving forces btw, the need to know, I know no one asked me that but how can I pass up that opportunity to point it out XD). And then Madison goes "He didn't want to do that, did he?" And Troy shakes his head no, so… he must've tried to talk to Mike, to know that Mike refused to do what he asked of him.

Anyway, so yes, I don't believe he wanted to do this.

I do, however, believe that he knew it was a bad idea to follow the Trimbols. A part of him did suspect it could go out of hand - that things could go badly (he knows he has trouble keeping control when angry, I'm sure). I don't think he wanted it to go there, though. And I also don't think he felt like he could've stopped himself from going after them, again, because of his need to know (that probably feels overwhelming at times).

Thank you for the question and giving me opportunity to talk about this Mike thing!! I also had a whole thing already typed about how I tried to make sense of the scene of the crime, reconstruct what happened there, but honestly it was so rambly (and also not really part of your question) I just got rid of it hahahah

I do hope you find my answer satisfying and otherwise I'm always down for discussing things further (or for other folks to jump in and correct me/offer their own perspective)! Have a great day, nonny 🧡

[topazy]

Under my skin

Pairing: Troy Otto x oc

Warnings: Mentions of blood and swearing

Chapter: 1.10

“You don’t need to do this, right?”

Walking towards the canteen I smiled at Jake while he stared at me with a concerned look on his face.

“My family is complicated,” he continued. “I love Troy, and he’s my brother, but he can be very protective. I just wanted to let you know that, because once you're with him, he’ll become a lot more intense than he already is.”

I thought it was sweet that Jake was concerned, but I trusted Troy. I shrug, “It was only a kiss. Besides, he might not even be that interested in me.”

The older Otto rolled his eyes and said, “We both know that’s not true.”

“I thought more people would be here,” I say, changing the subject. To my surprise, the canteen was almost empty, aside from a few militia having a break. Although the sun was shining, the heat was a lot cooler than the days prior, and I thought more people would be taking advantage of that.

“People are grieving.”

He had a point. Jeremiah’s uplifting speech on looking out for one another was overshadowed by Troy's explanation that he and his men were outnumbered by the dead.

I sat down on one of the empty benches and happily shoved some oatmeal into my mouth. “I’ve no idea how you can eat that,” a guy called Mike Trimbol says, scrunching his face up. “It’s disgusting. Having to eat that horse food is one of the worst things about the apocalypse.”

I look at him for a second with my eyebrows raised to see if he's joking or being serious. Mike didn’t understand that there were people who would literally kill for a small bag of oats outside the ranch. “I love oatmeal. I used to use it in different recipes before the dead came knocking, and all of them were delicious.”

I noticed one of the women who was serving food was staring at me. I give her an awkward smile, and her cheeks flush red at being caught. Maybe my light-hearted comment about the dead offended her.

“That’s new,” Jake said, motioning to the gold cross hanging around my neck.

“It belonged to my mother. I stopped wearing it because I was afraid I’d lose it.”

We ate in comfortable silence until I noticed Troy walking towards us. After the memorial, he went to his dad's office to talk to him in private. However, Jeremiah’s voice echoed and from what I heard, he was placing the blame for the four militia men who died on his son.

Troy sat without saying a word and reached for the apple on his brother's tray. Jake gave me a look that telepathically told me not to mention their dad. I watched as Troy sliced the skin off the apple with a miserable look on his face.

I watched as he ate the apple but left the skin. He must have noticed the confused look on my face because he pushed the apple skins in front of me.

“Thanks.”

A peaceful meal was disturbed when Leo walked by with a couple of guys on either side of him and mumbled something under his breath.

I didn’t hear what Leo said aside from the words “whipped” and “bitch,” but Troy did. I reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly as he started to stand up, glaring at the blond. “Troy, just leave it. All that asshole wants is a reaction.”

“Fine.”

That was easy.

“I will on one condition.” He cocks his head to the side, smirking.

“And what’s that?”

“You have to give me a kiss.”

“Fine,” I say, leaning in so close to him that my lips ghosted his. “But I’m not putting on a show for an audience later.”

He follows my trail of sight to the table Mike and his friends were sitting at, all of them were staring directly in our direction. He smirks at me, “I’ll hold you to that.”

—

“Hi.”

“Hi,” I say, and my smile falls when I see the look on Jake's face as he approaches me. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh-listen, all work assignments have been updated.”

A knot twists in my stomach. I wipe the back of my hands with a cloth before starting to put the tools I’d just used back into the toolbox. I sighed, “What am I doing?”

“Kitchen duty.”

I maintained calm on the outside, but on the inside I was screaming. It was very disappointing that, despite being good at what I did, I wouldn’t get to do it for very long because, in the words of Jeremiah Otto, it was an “unladylike” job.

“Whatever, at least it gets me out of the sun.”

“You’re taking it surprisingly well. I thought you would have chewed my ear off,” he laughed. “Thank god you didn’t. I’ve already had an earful from my brother.”

I try my best to keep the smile off my face. I've only spoken to a few of them so far. “When do I start?”

“Tomorrow.”

—

I froze outside the small wooden cabin I was now staying in when I noticed the door was ajar. Strange, I was so sure I’d locked it behind me. I pushed the door open and was greeted by Troy, who was laying on the bed reading a book.

He was laying on his back with his shoes and jacket removed. I was actually jealous of how comfortable he looked. Well, until I noticed the dirt on his trousers.

“You're staring,” he said in a matter of folk tone.

“I’m judging.”

He held the book to his chest and looked up at me with an amused expression on his face. “Judging what exactly?”

“You’re got muddy clothes on my clean sheets.”

His eyes trailed down his clothes until I noticed the small mess and sat up, his eyes widening in realisation. “I can get you some new ones.”

“Since it’s already a mess…” I plopped down on the bed beside him, much to his surprise. “So, you tend to chill in here while I’m somewhere else?”

“No, just thought I’d wait on you here since you owe me.”

“I owe you?”

Troy nodded before pressing his lips against mine. You have to give me a kiss. Troy most definitely held me to my word. I smiled into the kiss before pulling away for air.

Troy began to trail his finger up my neck and along my jawline while telling me how he would be leaving in a couple of days to search for an abandoned warehouse. I noticed the back of his knuckles were cut. I gently grabbed hold of his wrist so I could get a better look, “What did you do?”

He stared at me, emotionless. At first glance, I thought he’d hurt it by accident, but the more I looked at it, the less I believed it was just a simple accident.

“Troy, how did you hurt your hand?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I frowned, “Of course I’m worried. Your knuckles are brushing and have dried blood on them.”

He leaned onto his elbows and looked down at his knuckles with a weird expression on his face, almost as if he was pondering whether to tell me the truth or not. “I got into an argument with Leo. Instead of punching the fucker in the head, I punched the wall beside him instead.”

“Good, I’m sure he got frightened.”

Laughing, he shakes his head. “I’m glad I got your seal of approval.”

I looked up at him as he rambled on about how much he despised Leo ever since he moved into the ranch.I reached up and put my hand on the back of his neck, “Troy?”

“Yeah?”

I pulled his head towards mine to kiss him again.

[dcyswclking]

@forsakenravens asked:“ why are you looking at me like that? ” - cash to mike?

There was a warmth that creeped up his neck over his cheeks to the tip of his ears when the other addressed him directly. Mike could've sworn he had been discreetly, after all who could really blame him for taking in the other's handsome features? However, he felt caught now and sheepishly averted his gaze. Then he cleared his throat as he let his hands disappear in his jacket pockets. “No reason.”

[themuselesswriter]

The Serpent and The Desert Shark

Characters: Original female character, Troy Otto, Jake otto, Jeremiah Otto, Nick Clark, Madison Clark, Alicia Clark, Coop, Mike Trimbol

Summary: Troy Otto is the well-known psychopath of Broke Jaw Ranch, only he truly isn't, and once a complete stranger arrives out of nowhere he begins to explore a whole side of himself, he has no idea how to process his feelings and to his own bad luck, the woman has more baggage than him.

Join the adventures of Troy Otto while he discovers what it's like to be crushing over someone, and May's crazy past that sounds more of a badly written fanfiction than a past.

Word count: 21076

Warnings: death, abuse, drugs addiction, usual apocalyptic problems

A/N: I had this sitting in my drafts for a while now so I decided to curse you with the curse of wasting ten minutes of your lives with another weird fic about a female Original character taking over a show plot and making it all about her, btw I suck at self-advertising so... I hope you guys enjoy it and let me know what you think! PS: This isn’t abandoned, more will be published soon!

Credits: viking - polarr filter by me, photos from Pinterest

————————————Teaser———————————

It was a normal day, as normal as an apocalyptic life can be in the Broke Jaw Ranch, everyone was busy running their errands, sustaining their sanctuary, earning their keeps, and Troy was no different, just because he was their leader's son doesn’t mean he lived like some sort of a high born, he wasn't his older brother, as the leader of the militia he had to set an example of how dedicated he was to their people, twice the work, twice the pressure and the responsibility.

Sweat dripping from his forehead as he knelt in front of the hole in the fence, a boar managed to make and destroy some of the crops, a work of art, Troy thought, it was fascinating how the animal only took what it needed, how it found out the weakest spot in their fence, hidden and fragile, if he didn’t trip in front of it by mistake yesterday he would’ve never found out and the animal would’ve continued the little mischief, ripping them of their rashes.

“Troy” a voice interrupted his peacefulness, he looked up at the familiar face, Coop, he squinted his eyes to shield them from the sun “what is it?” The other man seemed distressed and nervous, Troy noted however, Troy wasn't known of being a patient man “well, good thing we have all day” he said sarcastically, Coop took a breath “a woman just showed up out of nowhere at the gates” he said with a careful look, studying his leader’s expressions, Troy, unimpressed “a dead one?” The other shook his head “no, alive, bleeding but alive” he answered “my dad?”, “he thinks she’s a threat” he replied.

The blond groaned and stood up tall, placing his pieces of equipment aside, he took off his protective gloves and wiped the sweat away with the back of his hand “lead the way, let’s go see who that mystery woman is” Coop nodded and the two walked to the crowd, his father and brother were bickering while the woman glared at them from behind the gates, and as Troy walked closer the words became clearer to him.

“We can’t just leave her dad” jake fought, big Otto wasn’t a fan of his son's comment “she’s from the borders, I will not have a filthy Mexican in my lands!” Unphased, Troy decided to look at the woman instead, her brown hair lifted in a ponytail, her eyes green and angry, he’s never seen anyone that looked quite angry to be at the Ranch rather than happy or scared, her skin was milk and she was injured, she wasn’t older than he was, stabbed in her lower abdomen, he took a step closer to the gate “what’s your name, Ma’am?”

The woman looked at the youngest Otto, then back at the two arguing “May” she replied coldly “Okay miss May…?” He asked waiting for her to fill the blanks “it doesn’t matter” she replied, Troy, chuckled “I guess it doesn’t, my dad thinks you’re Mexican, are you?” He asked again as the two men continued their argument, their words are mere noises to Troy, he could care-less of what they had to say “I’m an American citizen, I was in Baha for a business deal”

Troy nodded understandingly then told the men to open the gates for her, his father cursed at him “she’s not Mexican and she’s injured, you’re the one who said we don’t leave women stranded” he explained, his father wasn’t happy about it at all “she stays in the cells until she recovers and Troy… she’s your responsibility” he then left the site “I’m sorry about my dad, he’s a survivalist, he thinks every stranger is a threat” Jake said when the coast was clear “he’s right” the woman replied, sending everyone to a state of silence.

“I’m jake and this is my brother Troy” the older introduced, but the woman just stared at them with zero interest “we should get you to the infirmary” the brunette said, desperately trying to kill the awkward silence “no need, just get me booze and bandages” she said firmly “your wound might get infected and you might die” the blond one replied “It won’t” she insisted.

The two boys shared a look as if they were communicating among themselves to figure out what to do with the woman “alright, I’ll take her to the cells, you get her the stuff, if she dies in the cells it’s on her” the one who’s named Troy said, already moving to grab the woman’s arm, she glared at him and pushed his hand away “I’ll walk myself” she hissed, the brothers shared a look again, Jake nodded at his brother then the blond started walking, the woman followed.

They remained quiet, no words were said, the brunette woman looked all around her, noticing the weird looks she was getting from the habitants, answering them with scowls, this place looked like heaven during the time of apocalypse, her old place was a huge storage unite, she’s never seen a farm that survived the dead for so long, those people were a bunch of lucky assholes.

“You know… most of the people would be thankful instead of being hostile” the blond man started, gaining a scoff “thankful? Your dad was going to leave me for dead just because I came from Baha” she replied, pressing her hand to the wound, part of her wondered for how long they’d have to walk, but another wasn’t going to show weakness, she needed them to fear her, those people were strangers, their intentions were unknown “well, we don’t get visitors very often, you see, this place is nirvana and many try to take it from us, we have to be careful”

He tried to explain but the woman said nothing, too focused on the pain in her abdomen, he stopped in front of a large building and talked to a guy in military clothing before a door was open, he motioned for her to follow him and so she did, he opened a cell gate for her and she walked in, immediately sitting on the bench, resting her legs “it would’ve been easier if you went to the infirmary first” the blond said as he closed the door, looking at her from behind the bars “I’m here to take what I need and leave” she replied “and what is it that you need?” she shrugged “a clean wound, a bed and few meals until I recover”

“What makes you think we’d provide that?” Troy said amused “I wouldn’t be here if you wanted me dead” the man smiled at her and nodded “you’re something” he shook his head in disbelief before he walked out, leaving the woman with her own thoughts.

Continue reading

[luciana-galvez]

I’m not the bad guy | Part VI

When Troy finds you in the desert and takes you to the farm, you don’t know what to make of the intense man with the piercing eyes, and you understand even less why you’re so drawn to him. Is he as messed up as he seems to be, or is there something more beneath the surface?

Fandom: Fear The Walking Dead

Words: 1.9k

Pairing: Troy Otto x reader

Warnings: Sort of graphic violence in the first part (dream sequence). Those of you who also watch TWD will be familiar with what’s happening. 

Note: This part is mainly focused on forming a bond, but there’s more action and more badass Troy coming soon! 

Masterlist

The inside of the container was dark and damp. You couldn’t see anyone around you but you could hear their breathing, could hear some of them quietly whimpering. Outside of the container you could hear noises that you couldn’t quite distinguish, but they scared you more than anything. You felt for the wall of the container in the dark, eventually feeling the cold metal against your back and sinking to a sitting position, putting your hands over your eyes.

When you opened them again, the scene had changed. You were in a large hall. There were bodies hanging from the ceiling, some of them missing limbs, the little remaining blood draining out of them.

A man in a butcher’s apron holding a knife, with a sly smile on his face. A man with a baseball bat. A row of people lined up in front of a tub on their knees, fear in their eyes. Every time you closed your eyes, the scene changed.

Until it didn’t anymore. You were outside, the factory halls and containers surrounding you on all sides, a bloody knife in your hand. It was night, but the dark sky was strangely illuminated by fire. All around you people were running, shouting, shooting. Not just people but infected, but you couldn’t distinguish one from the other. People were running into you from all sides, there was shooting all around you, flames all around you, but you couldn’t move. You were frozen in place. The longer you stood there, the more panicked you became, and eventually, even the ground around you started shaking.

You woke up to someone gently shaking your arm and sat up in bed with a start, instinctively pushing yourself against the headboard of the bed, your heart beating so hard you felt like it tried to push through your rib cage.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Troy’s hand remained on your arm, and his eyes were wide in surprise. You looked around the room, trying to orientate yourself before you looked back at him. You felt the sweat on your face, and you realized that you weren’t just breathing – you were panting.

“I need some fresh air,” you said and got out of bed without waiting for his answer. You covered the distance to the door in three big strides and walked onto the small porch, leaning both of your arms onto the railing and pushing your body forward, trying to stop from shaking and trying to control your breathing.

The night air felt cool against your skin, and looking around the still ranch helped ground you. It didn’t take long before you heard Troy come after you. He leaned against the railing backwards and looked at you for a moment without speaking.

“You alright?” he said eventually.

“Yeah,” you said, looking from him back to the grounds. “Just a nightmare.”

“You seem to be having a lot of those,” he simply said.

“It’s nothing,” you said. He didn’t reply, but you felt him stare at you, not satisfied with your answer. “I’m not ready to talk about it,” you added after some time.

Both of you remained outside for a while, silent, until eventually, he went back inside alone.

When you were standing in line for dinner the next day, you felt exhausted and did not even have any appetite, but you forced yourself to eat at least a little bit. The whole day you had watched the apprehension on everyone’s faces, the fear of what else Walker would do to get the ranch, people stocking up from the pantry. Things would escalate soon if people weren’t reassured of their safety.

Grabbing your plate, you turned around to check the tables, see if there was someone to join. Troy was sitting at a table with Blake and Coop and a couple of others of the militia, Madison and Jeremiah were at another table, and finally, your eyes found Jake, who was sitting alone.

Jake looked up at you surprised when you sat down and watched you for a moment.

“How are your feet?” he asked eventually, referring to how bloody they were when you got back two days ago.

“Getting better,” you said while already chewing your first bite. You noticed an argument a couple of tables down before you could say anything else. Vernon Trimbol was standing next to Madison and Jeremiah’s table, and the two men looked at each other challengingly.

“What’s going on?” you asked Jake.

“The Trimbols are leaving.”

“What?” you asked, looking back at him with big eyes.  

“They’re freaked out,” Jake said as Vernon walked away. “Everyone is freaked out after what happened at the outpost.”

“But why now?” you started. “They barely have three hours of sunlight left.”

“I guess they just want to get out,” Jake shrugged.

You were about to answer when a loud voice from a few tables down interrupted you.

“What would you have me do?” Jeremiah asked Madison, sounding angry.

“Give them a reason to stay, fight,” Madison said quieter.

“Give them a reason? Aside from the fences and the militia and the stores and this community, huh?” Jeremiah sounded spiteful, and around you most of the conversations stopped and people started listening to the argument. “I welcome them onto my land with open arms, and now I got to get down on my hands and knees and beg them to stay?”

“There's a fight coming. Everyone who leaves leaves us weaker,” Madison tried to reason with him, but before they could end their conversation, Troy jumped up from his table, cursing and running off after Vernon Trimbol.

“Shit,” Jake muttered and was up from his seat just as quickly, running after his little brother. A few other people followed and eventually, you got up as well.

When you got to the gate, Troy was shouting at the people in the car as well as at Jake.

“I guarantee you that they took plenty of shit from the pantry! And I want to see an inventory, Vernon! - I want it inspected!” Troy was livid.

“This is not what Dad wants,” Jake tried to calm him. You came to a halt next to Madison, watching the scene from afar.

“Why should I give a damn what Dad wants? He never gives a shit about me!” Troy said. Immediately, you remembered what Jeremiah had told you not too long ago. I broke Troy in the old world.

“You're not protecting the ranch,” Jake said, still trying to reason with him.

“The hell do you know about it? You haven't got a clue what this ranch is about,” Troy said to his brother and then turned back to the Trimbol’s car. “You gonna fight for what's yours or you gonna surrender it?”

Then he turned back to Jake, repeating the same question, coming closer to him almost threateningly. “You gonna fight or you gonna surrender?!” 

And then, you watched Troy hit his brother.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jeremiah came, pulling the two of them apart and hitting Troy in the face before either of them could say anything.

“No! Hey, Dad, Dad,” Jake started, putting himself in between his brother and his father, trying to prevent more damage. Troy simply shrugged it off and without another look to you or anyone else, he walked away.  

And you watched as the Trimbols pulled out of the gate and disappeared into the distance.

Dusk had already settled when you finally found Troy. You had checked with the militia, in the community areas, at his place, but hadn’t found him. You even looked in the armory, afraid he might do something stupid, but he hadn’t been there either.

It was only when you stopped looking that you found him, standing in your cabin, looking out of the window, lost in thought.

“I looked all over for you,” you said as you closed the door.

He was silent for a moment, still gazing out of the window. “You told me to come to you when I’m angry,” he said and looked over to you for only a second. “When I want to hurt someone.”

You paused. “I’m sorry they left,” you said quietly. Neither of you moved, Troy kept standing in front of the window and you stayed in your position next to the closed door.

“All I've ever had in my-- my whole life is this-- this place and these people, and I don't know, it just… I don't understand, you know,” he said eventually, and the pain in his voice felt almost palpable in the room. “Like, the world out there, it's - it's burned.”

“They wanted to see for themselves,” you said gently.

“Anyone who leaves is dead to me,” Troy’s anger returned to his voice for a second, but it disappeared again just as quickly. “Now, Mike, he was-- he was soft, but he was-- he's been my friend since I was a kid. He stayed in school when I got-- I got pulled. But he never quit on me.” He turned his head back to you. “Never. Even when others did.”

“He didn't quit on you, Troy,” you said as kindly as you could. “He just stood by his family.”

“He wouldn't even look at me.” Troy said and looked at you intently. “I’m not the bad guy.” He paused and eventually looked back out the window. “It’s just…hard to know how to react to something like that.”  

And in that moment, your heart broke for him. The boy that had never been loved by his parents. The man who had been taught to suppress his emotions for so long that he didn’t even understand how to handle them when they became too much.

You slowly walked over to him and reached for his hand, holding it in both of yours.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m sorry you had to grow up like this. I’m sorry you were disappointed by someone you care about.” You took another step closer to him and moved your right hand to his neck, causing him to turn to you.

“It fucking sucks,” you said with a gentle, reassuring smile on your lips. You lifted your left hand and gently rested it on his cheek and ear, and then moved your right hand through his hair, down his temple and to his other cheek, essentially holding his face in both of your hands.

For a moment you only looked at each other. Then, you slowly moved closer and pressed your lips to his. Troy instinctively took a step closer to you, his hands finding your waist, and carefully opened his mouth to reciprocate the kiss.

Your kisses were usually hurried, and sloppy, and passionate, but this kiss was different. This kiss was slow, and tender, and almost loving.

Eventually, both of you broke apart naturally. You continued to look at each other for a while, your hands moving from his face to his neck, until eventually, you got on your tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Then you moved to the bed slowly, one hand of yours locked with his so he would follow.

When you laid down, you laid down in his arm, your body turned to him and his body turned to you, nuzzling your head into his chest, while his other arm rested on your waist, holding you close.

And for the first time, you and Troy slept together without sleeping together.

Troy-tag: @buckaroo–barnes

[acabecca]

Breakdown

Endless list of OCs // Maggie Daley - Fear the Walking Dead [2/??]

She had known the second Madison had pulled back the tarp in the bed of the truck and she had seen the bodies of Mike and his family. The way Troy had let go of her hand and shrank back into the crowd had given it away – not just to her, but to other people as well, she was sure of it. She hadn’t missed the look her mother had cast in her direction and she hadn’t been able to ignore the whispers from the few people who clearly didn’t believe Madison’s story about the murder of the Trimbol family.

She hadn’t been able to find Troy since.

That was how she found herself walking up the stairs of the main house, going to Jake’s room where she knew he would be.

Maggie knocked gently on the door and Jake turned his head slightly, a small smiled coming to his face when he saw her there.

“Hey,” he gestured for her to come in, closing his book and placing it down on the desk. Pushing herself away from the doorframe, Maggie walked inside his room and gently closed the door behind her as she chewed on the inside of her cheek, avoiding his gaze and not returning his smile. Jake frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“…The Trimbol’s.”

Jake’s face fell at her words and his eyes shifted to the floor as he nodded slowly, Maggie walking past him to perch herself on the edge of his bed. He had been expecting her ever since his father had returned to the ranch with Madison and Nick.

“I’m sorry,” he told her quietly. “I know how close you and Gretchen were.”

Maggie shrugged her shoulders weakly, picking at a thread on Jake’s bedspread and keeping her eyes on the ground as she tried to stop her bottom lip from trembling.

“He did it, didn’t he?” she whispered hoarsely as Jake turned to face her slowly. “Troy. He killed them.”

“I… I think so,” Jake told her slowly, and looked up at him. “Hey, come here,” Jake sighed, standing up from his seat and going to sit beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m not sad, it’s okay,” she shook her head, and Jake paused. “That’s messed up, right? That I’m not sad? That these people I’ve known since I was a kid are dead, and I’m not sad about it?”

“It’s the shock-”

“It’s not,” Maggie interrupted. “It’s not shock, Jake. It’s just the way the world is now. We lose people. We have to get on with it.”

“You- You can still take time… To grieve-”

“I don’t want to. I don’t need to and- God, doesn’t that make me sound awful? Am I a horrible person? Gretchen was my friend, Charlene was my sister and I just- I can’t cry for them. I don’t have any tears, Jake. I don’t feel anything, it’s like I’ve just grown… Numb to all of it. Like- like Troy.”

Jake tensed. “No,” he snapped, and Maggie turned to him in surprise. “No, Maggie. You’re nothing like Troy, you’re just… You’re adjusting to the new world. We all have to adjust, but you… You lost your sister, Maggie, and she was your best friend. I can understand you not grieving for the Trimbol’s because as much as you’ll deny it, you’re still grieving for Charlene.”

“But I’m not,” she paused, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. “Yeah, I- I miss her, but it isn’t grief that I’m feeling. Grief… I felt that when my dad died. This… This is different. It’s anger. I want someone to pay for Charlene’s death, I want Walker and his people held accountable for what they did and I- I want someone to pay for the Trimbol’s… But I don’t want it to be Troy. It’s just- we’ve all lost so much, y’know? My dad, Charlene, our friends… I don’t want to lose Troy as well.”

“…You wanna pretend he didn’t kill an entire family because they decided to leave the ranch, then that’s up to you,” Jake shrugged weakly. “I know my dad isn’t going to do anything about it. No one here will. He’ll get away with it, like he gets away with everything else.”

Maggie raised an eyebrow. “You sound a little bitter about your kid brother there, Jake.”

“Not bitter,” he shook his head. “Just… tired. Of having to clean up his messes all the time.

“Better than having to clean up dead bodies like nowadays.”

“Yeah…” Jake paused, a smirk coming to lips as he nudged her. “Hey, things I don’t miss about the old world – not having to clean up dead bodies.”

Maggie snorted, letting herself fall backwards so she was lying down on the bed as she tried of think of something to say. This was their favourite game, listing things they missed from before the outbreak. It had been Charlene who had started it, a mindless way to pass time and keep them occupied, to keep Maggie’s mind off what was going on outside of the ranch, and it had stuck.

“Things I miss about the old world…” Maggie paused, humming to herself as Jake lay beside her, propping himself up with his elbow and glancing down at her. “Butter popcorn.”

“Work.”

Maggie pulled a face. “Work? You miss work?”

Jake shrugged. “I liked work.”

“I don’t miss college at all,” she shuddered. “I miss getting drunk at college, I miss the dorm parties and the cute boys and-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Jake laughed quietly. “I don’t really want to hear about your drunken hook-ups, Mags.”

“Yeah, sorry,” she chuckled quietly, pushing her hair off her face as she felt her cheeks flush. “I guess I miss being at college. Like, I miss the people there, my friends, even some of the tutors. I miss the experience. I do not miss the work.”

“I miss movies.”

“I also miss movies.”

“That’s cheating,” Jake reached forwards, poking her stomach and letting his hand stay there, lying gently on top of Maggie’s checked shirt. “No repeats.”

“Fine,” she muttered, rolling her eyes and trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as the heat from Jake’s hand soaked through her shirt. “I miss TV,” she told him, turning to look at him with a grin. “I really miss TV. I miss mind-numbingly bad TV that you could never admit you even liked, but that you’d never miss an episode of. Me and Charlene, we used to get so much junk food and just crash in front of the TV in her room on a Saturday night. I miss that. I-I miss Charlene.”

“I know,” Jake whispered. “Me, too.”

“Mom wouldn’t want to leave if Charlene was here and even she did, she always knew how to talk Mom round. I don’t want to go out there, Jake,” Maggie admitted, her voice hoarse. “I don’t want to leave this place, I don’t want to leave you or- or Troy-”

“You don’t have to,” Jake interrupted, his arm inching across her stomach as he awkwardly hugged her closer to him. “You don’t have to go anywhere, Maggie. Even if they leave, you can stay. You can move your stuff in here, stay in the house with us.”

“She’d never let me-”

“Your mom wouldn’t be here, Mags,” Jake told her. “She can’t make you leave, I- I won’t let her. No one here will. It’s safe here, and you can stay as long as you want.”

“Yeah…” she paused, biting down on her bottom lip and tearing her gaze away from his. “I miss my mom being cool with me going wherever I wanted to go.”

“Back to this?” Jake raised his eyebrows and Maggie nodded her head. She needed a distraction from everything – from the Trimbol’s, from her mother and Dax wanting to leave… from Troy. “Okay. I miss peanut butter.”

“Pop tarts.”

“Pancakes.”

“Justin Timberlake.”

Jake blinked. “What?”

“Justin Timberlake,” Maggie repeated with a dramatic sigh. “I miss him.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realise you knew Justin Timberlake on a personal level.”

Maggie reached up, hitting Jake’s chest. “You know what I mean.”

“I guess,” Jake paused. “I kind of miss Megan Fox.”

“Megan Fox was hot.”

“Yeah,” Jake paused. “I miss… order. Normalcy.”

“Really?” Maggie raised her eyebrow. “You don’t think it’s so much better now that we that just walk into any shop and take whatever we want? Providing we miss the walking corpses, of course.”

“No,” Jake scoffed.

“I guess I kind of miss it, too,” she mused. “Only a little, though. I do like getting free stuff.”

“…I miss being safe.”

“I miss not getting hit in the face by angry old men,” Maggie snorted, pointing to her eye which had started to bruise slightly and Jake frowned, removing his arm from around her waist and gently placing his hand on her cheek, turning her face to him. “That was a joke. I’m fine.”

“It’s starting to bruise.”

“I know. It’s like my first war-wound, it’s great.”

“Maggie…” Jake started carefully, his hand resting against her cheek. “You shouldn’t have done that. You should never put yourself between Troy and my father, alright? Don’t… Don’t do that again.”

“I won’t,” she whispered. “I’m… I’m sorry I never told you… About me and Troy. I just- I guess I didn’t want you to know? It’s not like- we’re not-”

“You don’t have to explain.”

“I do,” Maggie insisted. “I do have to explain, because you’ve been so good to me, Jake, and Troy is… I know how you feel about your brother, okay? I know you think he’s no good, but-”

“That’s not it,” Jake shook his head. “He can be good when he wants to be. I just don’t think he’s any good for you and I know I’m right. You got hurt because of him.”

Maggie frowned. “I got hurt because I threw myself in front of him to stop Jeremiah beating the crap out of him again. I got hurt because I didn’t want to see him hurt. It wasn’t Troy’s fault. Besides, your eye is way worse. That was Troy’s fault.”

“Even if you getting hurt was his fault, you wouldn’t admit it,” Jake pursed his lips. “It’s hard acknowledging the flaws of people we love.”

Maggie paused, her breath catching in her throat as Jake removed his hand from her face and she swallowed the lump in her throat, turning her head to stare at the ceiling. Love? No. Jake was wrong. She didn’t love Troy. Sure, she cared about him, but love? …No. That was too much.

“I don’t love Troy.”

“No?” Jake raised his eyebrows. “So you put yourself between him and my dad just because you’re sleeping together? Really?”

Maggie turned to face him again, a scowl on her face. ��You’re making it sound much worse than it is.”

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt, Maggie.”

“I won’t-”

“People tend to get hurt around Troy.”

Pushing herself up on her elbows, Maggie stared at Jake curiously. She expected him to look away, but he didn’t. He stared right back at her, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed slightly.

“…You think Troy is going to hurt me,” she said slowly, realisation dawning on her.

“I think Troy is going to get you killed, Maggie,” Jake murmured, running a hand through his short hair. “And I can’t let that happen. I can’t. I promised Charlene I’d look out for you and- and if I don’t-…”

“Hey, stop,” Maggie spoke softly, taking Jake’s face in her hands. “I can take care of myself, okay? You taught me how to take care of myself. I’ll be okay-”

“That’s not it,” Jake interrupted, lifting his hands up to cover hers. “The way he is… He wants a war with Walker, he’s not going to give up Maggie, and that’s going to get people killed. The people here… They aren’t soldiers. They’re just families who had nowhere else to go. They can kill the dead, but the living? That’s a whole other story.”

“They’ll fight if they have to-”

“Are you trying to tell me you’d have no problem picking up a weapon and killing a living person?”

Maggie paused, her jaw clenched and her face blank as she took her hands from Jake’s face and let them drop to her sides, her hands balling into fists.

“Would I have a problem killing the people who shot down the helicopter my sister was in? The people who stopped her from coming home? Would I have a problem shooting at the people who tried to kill you? Who tried to kill Troy?” Maggie raised her eyebrows. “No, Jake, I wouldn’t have a problem with it at all, and I don’t think a lot of people here would, either. They’re the reason Charlene is dead-”

“Charlene was attacked by-”

“I know what she was attacked by, Jake, and she never would have been out there in the first place if they hadn’t shot at the helicopter,” Maggie shook her head, taking a step backwards. “If they come here, if they come to attack us, I’ll be ready.”

“It’s not going to come to that,” Jake told her. “I’m going to talk to them, if I leave now I should be back in a day or two and-”

“Wait, what?” Maggie asked, her hand reaching out as she wrapped her fingers around Jake’s wrist to stop him from turning away from her. “No, you’re not going out there.”

Jake raised his eyebrows. “You hook up with Troy a couple times and suddenly you think you have a say in what I can and can’t do?”

Maggie’s nostrils flared in anger. “Enough of the digs, okay? You don’t know a thing about what’s going on between Troy and I, and I don’t particularly like whatever it is you’re insinuating. I care about him. That doesn’t change who I am, it doesn’t change who I am to you, does it?” she asked. “It doesn’t change the fact that you and I are friends, or at least it shouldn’t do. It definitely doesn’t change the fact that I am going to tell you when I think you’re being an idiot, Jake, and now is one of those times.”

Jake looked down, sighing softly. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “Whatever I say about you and Troy… I’m just trying to come to terms with it. It was a surprise, finding out the way I did. I thought you would have told me something like that.”

“Oh, yeah,” Maggie scoffed with a roll of her eyes. “’Hey Jake, thanks for showing me how to load that rifle! By the way, did you know I’m sleeping with your brother?’. I’m sure that would have gone down swimmingly.”

“Maybe not,” Jake snorted, pausing before he turned serious again, refusing to meet her gaze. “I have to do this, Maggie. I have to talk to Walker. I can stop this, I can stop whatever kind of war he’s going to start.”

“You don’t have-”

“It’s the only way I can keep you safe,” he interrupted, lifting his head up to look at her. “I can make some kind of deal with him and even- even if he does come, I can… I can do something, offer him something so no harm comes to you.”

“Jake…” Maggie trailed off, taking a step towards him and lifting her hand to his cheek. “You don’t need to do this. I can take care of myself. I know you promised Charlene, but-”

“You think I’m doing this because of Charlene?” Jake asked with a frown as Maggie’s hand dropped from his face and she shrugged weakly. “…You really don’t know, do you?” he asked in disbelief, and Maggie stared up at him in confusion. “God, Maggie, I- I love you.”

“Wha- I-”

“No, don’t,” Jake put a finger against her lips. “Don’t, it’s okay. I know you don’t, that’s why I didn’t say anything, but… Maggie, I have for a while. Even before Charlene died, I’ve had these… these feelings and- I never said anything because you were her sister, y’know? And she wouldn’t have been okay with it and maybe a part of me even saw you and Troy getting closer, but… I love you, Maggie. And I have to do everything I can to protect you, to protect this ranch and keep us safe. That’s why I have to go. You understand that, right?”

Maggie blinked up at him, his words taking their time to register in her mind and before she even knew what was happening, Jake had pulled her towards him and lips were on hers.

It was different than kissing Troy.

Jake’s lips were softer, his touch was gentle and more hesitant than Troy’s, almost like he was afraid she would pull away from him. It made her feel… different. It made her feel.

Troy’s kisses lit a fire inside her and she knew whenever he kissed her that it would lead to something else. It always did. They never just made out, as childish as it sounded, and as first Maggie hadn’t cared. Whatever she and Troy were, it was just sex. She knew that. The whole thing between them had started because she simply wanted to feel something, something other than the dull ache in her chest whenever she thought of her father, something better than the numbness that had settled over her and made itself at home since she had found out her sister wasn’t coming home. Troy had made that go away, even if was just for an hour or two.

But Jake… Jake’s kisses were a whole lot different.

Warmth flooded through Maggie’s veins as his lips moved against his and he wrapped an arm around her waist as she clutched the front of his t-shirt. They had practically melted against one another, as though they were two halves of one whole, but she still wanted to get closer to him and she could feel butterflies filling her stomach.

But it was guilt that she felt most, and that realisation made her eyes snap open as she pushed Jake away from her, both of them breathing heavily as Maggie stumbled backwards and brought her hand to her mouth, the tips of her fingers touching her lips softly.

Her lips were tingling.

“Maggie… I-”

“Don’t,” she held a hand up as he took a step towards her and she automatically took one back. “Just… don’t.”

“Maggie? You in here?”

She froze as Troy’s voice drifted up the stairs and she heard the front door close behind him as she shot a panicked look towards Jake.

“You don’t have to talk to him if-”

“I’m up here!” she called back before she could stop herself, running her hands through her hair as she heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. He appeared in the doorway of Jake’s room, a frown on his face as he leaned he looked between the two of them.

Jake turned his back on his brother almost immediately, while Maggie shifted uncomfortably and tucked her hair behind her ear and she refused to meet Troy’s gaze.

“…Can I talk to you?” he asked, and Maggie’s eyes darted between the two brothers.

“Uh-…”

“In private?” Troy interrupted, casting a glance towards his older brother.

“Uhm, o-okay,” she stuttered, smiling weakly and taking a step towards him. “I… I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah,” Jake muttered. “Hey, Maggie?” he called and she stopped just before she left his room, Troy pausing ahead of her as he raised his eyebrows at his brother. Jake glared at him for a second, before his expression softened as he turned his attention back to Maggie. “…Be careful.”

Smiling weakly, Maggie ignored Troy’s scoff and shrugged her shoulders as she stepped out of the room.

“I always am.”

[all-that-is-gold-is-now-gone]

Troy and Lyn fighting in the middle of the ranch.

Mike in a chair a few feet away scribbling in a notebook.

Jake walks up: Are they fighting again?

Mike: Yeah.

Jake glanced at Mike: What are you doing?

Mike: Planning their wedding obviously.

@muselessroleplay

[mbtizone]

Troy Otto (Fear the Walking Dead): ISTP

Dominant Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Troy is obsessed with killing people of different ages, sizes, and ethnicities to see what he can learn about the turning process. He wants to collect data, which he then goes on to categorize, or draw conclusions from. He is confident in his assertion that it will take him 87 minutes to die, because of his age, weight, and BMI. He’s so obsessed with collecting this information that when Nick threatens to kill him, Troy begs him to time how long it takes him to turn. He cares about accumulating knowledge and, when Nick wants to know what’s wrong with him, Troy simply responds that Newton stabbed himself in the eye just to understand the nature of light. Troy wants to know why people spoil. He seeks to understand what is going on around him and remains callous and detached in his quest for answers. Troy’s way of thinking about things is subjective. He does what makes sense to him. He wants to take out the horde that he spots on the side of the road because they can’t risk allowing them to reach the ranch. Cooper argues with him, trying to tell him that it’s not on their to-do list and says that they’re on the clock, but Troy doesn’t care about their schedule. He’s guided by his own internal logic and is able to arrive at likely conclusions quickly. He spots shells from a gun that was owned by Phil, which leads Troy to deduce that Phil had engaged an attacker before retreating to the outpost.

Auxiliary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Action and adventure are exciting for Troy and he likes to be in the thick of things. When he spots the horde on the side of the road and leads his men to take them out, he doesn’t allow them to use their guns because it’s “too much noise” and “not enough sport.” He enjoys taking risks and living in the moment. Troy is often reckless and puts himself and others in dangerous situations. He enjoys a good fight and is skilled with weapons. Troy is always aware of his physical surroundings and knows how to engage with them. His constant vigilance allows him to make many observations about his environment. Troy has very keen senses. He’s the first one to notice the smell that leads his men and Madison to the pile of charred bodies. Troy tells Madison that he’s “always been a bit of a nature boy.” He notices what’s going on around him (Se) and makes note of it (Ti). Although he is aware of the severity of most situations, he tends to treat the new world like a personal playground, with Madison noting that it’s like a “game” to Troy. Troy is impetuous and has trouble controlling his impulses (slaughtering the Trimbol family in the heat of the moment). He doesn’t believe in dwelling on the past. When someone dies, they’re gone. All you can do is get your revenge and move on. When Troy sees what Walker did to their people, he immediately wants to hit them back.

Tertiary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: Troy’s singular focus is on studying, observing, and acquiring information about the dead (Ti-Ni). He is consumed by it. He has a good sense about people and he sees right through Madison’s speech. Troy realizes that she said what she said to garner sympathy and remind the people at the ranch that she’s a victim. She didn’t say what she said to memorialize him. She had a reason and Troy saw right through her manipulation. He usually has an idea of what will happen in most situations (though, having a concept of what the consequences may be is rarely enough to stop him). Troy thinks that what he does is his “calling” in life. He believes it’s what he’s meant to do. It’s his purpose.

Inferior Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Because he is so wrapped up in trying to comprehend the world around him, Troy doesn’t typically display empathy. When Madison is upset after seeing where the helicopter went down, he admonishes her, saying “there’s no room for grief.” In certain instances, he can become extremely emotional and throw a tantrum. He killed the Trimbol family because they left the ranch and Mike couldn’t even do him the courtesy of looking him in the eye and talking to Troy about it. He has a hard time dealing with his feelings and they cause him to lash out. Troy can be very good at understanding people (seeing Madison’s real motivation for her speech about Travis). Troy does genuinely care about the people at the ranch and wants to help them and protect them, but because he’s so unhealthy, he sometimes ends up doing more harm than good. He’s genuinely upset when he finds the heap of burned bodies and when his group comes across Phil. When Madison tells Troy that his mother never loved him, he later holds a knife to her throat in her sleep, but is unable to go through with it. When he returns to the ranch after their encounter with Walker, Troy wants to keep the truth from them. He only wants to tell Jeremiah, and Troy tries to keep Mike from telling everybody what happened, to no success.

Note: Troy is unbelievably unhealthy. He’s also very complex. Troy has sadistic tendencies and it’s difficult for him to control himself. He didn’t intend to kill the Trimbol family and he means what he says when he’s saying it. He’s just extremely damaged and probably one of the worst examples of an ISTP on television. It’s hard to separate what parts of Troy’s personality come from his cognitive functions and which parts stem from whatever psychological disorder he suffers from. I actually considered high Si for him, because he believes in preserving the ranch, serving it, and doing what he believes must be done in order to protect it. He also talks about the importance of “order, discipline, chain of command,” but I think he means that more for other people and not necessarily for himself. He doesn’t embody those values and tends to just do whatever he wants in the moment. His past has a huge, lasting impact on him, but I believe anyone of any type would be affected if they had the same experiences as Troy. He’s a stickler for “the rules” and how things should be done, but I think that might be part his illness. He uses his loyalty to the ranch as an excuse. They “don’t have enough resources” for Travis, but he’s okay with allowing Madison and Alicia in. I believe Jeremiah and Jake didn’t want to allow Luciana inside because that’s “not how they do things.” Troy hid behind this reason as well, but I think it probably had more to do with his desire to kill people to “learn.” He was probably already thinking about how long it would take Luciana to turn. The same goes for when Vernon, Mike, and the rest of the Trimbol family left the ranch. He was angry and upset, so he used the rules as a crutch. He berated them for leaving with “ranch property.” He didn’t really care about protecting the ranch in that moment, as Jake pointed out. He just used that as his reason because he didn’t want to get into the truth – that he was hurt and felt betrayed. It was also hard for me to decide what his dominant function was – Ti or Se? But there are strong signs of inferior Fe, and nearly everything he does is to feed his Ti curiosity, so ISTP seemed the better fit. Troy can be interpreted in numerous ways, so I used my own analysis of the character, as well as what I’ve read in interviews or heard on Talking Dead to form my judgments. He hasn’t been around very long, though, so I may see something that will cause me go back and retype him in the future. Time shall tell.

Enneagram: 8w7 5w6 3w2 So/Sx

Quotes:

Troy: Did you have contact back home before comms failed? Travis: No. Troy: Oh, shame. New Zealand’s isolated. I just thought, uh maybe your people – maybe they dodged all this. Maybe they turn different or not at all. Eh, could’ve learned something. We may still. Nick: Where’s my mom and my sister? Troy: Being processed. Nick: Don’t hurt them. Troy: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, ease your mind. I’m not a savage. Travis: That’s that’s good to hear. This woman needs attention. Troy: Yeah, she’ll be taken care of. Travis: No, she’s dying. Troy: Everyone here dies. It’s the only mercy I can offer for the sick and the maimed. Now, you can take a seat.

Madison: What are you writing? Troy: Oh, it’s just observations. I’ve always been a bit of a nature boy. I just I mark things down. It will matter later.

Troy: Two ways it cuts, huh? You can’t sleep ’cause of what’s weighing on you or bad times just waiting for you when you wake. Madison: What do you want? Troy: This area’s burned. You shouldn’t go back out there. Madison: Troy. Troy: We’re leaving. I can take you home with us. You and Alicia. Madison: What about Travis? Troy: Our resources are limited Madison: Is he alive? Troy: I’ll release him. I will… if you come.

Nick: Luci, hey- Man: Not sure she can hear you. Nick: What what do you mean? Troy: She’s not going to make it is what he means. Nick: Help her. Troy: No. We take her to the infirmary, she may turn. It’s against policy. Nick: It’s your fault. You shot her. Troy: I was defending my people. I’ll do it again. I know what to do. Nick: No, no, no, no. Troy: This is how it has to be. Nick: No.

[Madison enters and sees who she thinks is Nick in bed.] Madison: How’s Luciana? Troy: Oh, still alive. I liked your speech. I liked how you said his name. Travis. It makes him matter. Makes him real. Madison: He was real. Troy: That’s not why you said it, though. It wasn’t out of grief. It was pointed. You wanted to remind us that you’re a victim, too. Madison: You feel like a victim? Troy: Are you analyzing me now? Madison: No. Troy: What did you do in the old world? Madison: Guidance counselor. Troy: At a high school? [Madison nods] Oh. I never attended. “Certain social aspects of academia proved challenging for Troy.” Madison: You must have been lonely. Troy: No, no. No, I, uh I had this place. Everything that I do is in service to this place. Madison: Does your father believe that? Troy: Yeah, he understands. You know, complicated problems call for complicated solutions. Madison: Killing people’s not complicated. It’s simple. Troy: Do you see? You understand this world. You understand me. That’s why I picked you. But I didn’t – I didn’t pick Nick. Madison: He comes with me. Package deal. Troy: Why were you separated? Why was he with strangers and not his family? He doesn’t deserve his place here. I think you know it. Madison: He’ll earn it. [referring to the bed] That was made this morning, Troy.

Jake: Stay away from Madison and her family. Troy: They’re my friends. Jake: They came here under my invite. They trust me. Troy: They came here not to get eaten. I wouldn’t flatter yourself. Jake: Yeah, but they’re staying ’cause I said I’d protect them from you. Troy: And how are you going to do that? Jake: Please don’t do this. Troy, please. I’m the one that still believes in you. Troy: Well, I don’t need you to anymore. Jake: Yeah, you do. You do. If the ranch knew what you really are- Troy: And what am I, Jake? Jake: Do you really think that you were helping those people out at the depot? Troy: I think I was helping all of us. Jake: Troy when Dad’s gone, this is all on us. We have to take care of this place. We have to lead – Together. Troy: Together. Jake: Yeah. But I need you to do something for me. I need you to stay away from the Clarks. Do you hear me? Troy: Yep. I hear you. Jake: Do you mean it? Troy: I always mean it, Jake.

Troy: The ground’s soft. You could dig a grave real easy. I mean, people would suspect you, but well, they really wouldn’t know for sure. Nick: I wonder how long it’ll take you to turn. Troy: Eighty-seven minutes. Eighty-seven minutes given my weight, BMI, age. You know, if you do do it, you should time it. Journal’s in my pocket. Nick: You are not a scientist. Troy: Time it. Nick, please. Nick: What is wrong with you? Troy: Newton stabbed his own eye to understand the nature of light. I just – I need to know. I need to know why we spoil.

Troy: Cooper, are you seeing what I’m seeing? We got a party to attend! Cooper: It’s out of our way, Troy. We need to get to the Huey and back. Over. Troy: No, no, no, we leave them, they could migrate up the highway toward the ranch. We can’t risk that. Cooper: Not on our to-do list. We’re on a clock, man. Madison: I’m with you. Troy: We’re not making this someone else’s problem, Cooper. We’ll be in and out in five minutes. That’s it. Oh, no, no, no. No guns. It’s too much noise. Not enough sport.

[after he, his men, and Madison take out a horde] Troy: Oh, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. Who timed that? Man: It was just under a minute. Troy: Eh, it’s good work. Short work.

Troy: You ready for what comes next? It’s gonna be living, not dead. Whoa, you’re gonna need more fight in you than that. Madison: I’ll have fight. Don’t worry. Troy: You sure? Madison: Seeing where it happened was harder than I thought. Troy: Oh, you need to let that go. There’s no room for grief. Madison: If it was your father, you wouldn’t mourn him? Troy: Big Otto is immortal. Madison: And you didn’t grieve for your mother? Troy: Nah, if someone is dead, they’re dead, you know? There’s no point dwelling. All you can do is take out the assholes who did you wrong. Madison: Eye for an eye. Troy: Ah, a tooth for a tooth, amen. Madison: It’s just a game to you. Troy: No, it’s not a game. It’s my calling.

Madison: Your men are tired. Troy: Yeah, well, newsflash so am I. Listen, Walker and those assholes will make it back before us if we don’t move double time. You want that visited on your family? Huh? You really think Nick can handle something like that? Madison: We’re not gonna make it back. Troy: You’re overstepping, Madison. Mike, will you pick your ass up? Just wrap your foot and hoof it. Come on, let’s go. Madison: You want them to follow you out of fear or respect? Troy: What did you just say to me? Madison: Being a leader is knowing when to stop. Troy: Okay. Okay. Come here. This is my mission and these are my men. Madison: Yours or your father’s? Would he back this play? Troy: Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m not your son. Madison: But you have such a strange fixation on him. You wanna be a mama’s boy, Troy? Was your mother too cruel for that? Troy: Shut up. Madison: She hated you, didn’t she? Troy: Shut up. Shut up. Madison: Even in the end, when you cared for her and bathed her, she still didn’t love you, did she? Who says we should rest up? Troy: I’m the only one who knows the way back. So you better pick your asses up at first light because I will leave you. I’ll leave you all for the wasted.

Mike: They’re dead. They’re all dead. Troy: Mike, lock your shit down. Lock it down. Mike: They’re dead. And we’re gonna die, too, if we don’t leave! Troy: Shut up! Man: Is that true? Mike: If we stay, we- Troy: Mike, shut the hell up. Mike: If we stay, we die!

Troy: No, no, no, we go after them. Now. We hit them back. Jeremiah: So you can stroll into another ambush, Colonel Custer?

Madison: I was worried you might do something rash. Troy: To my family? No, no. Never. Madison: Can’t blame my worry. Troy: No. All I’ve ever had in my – my whole life is this – this place and these people, and I don’t know, it just I don’t understand, you know. Like, the world out there, it’s, uh – it’s burned. Madison: They wanted to see for themselves. Troy: Anyone who leaves is dead to me. Now, Mike, he was – he was soft, but he was – he’s been my friend since I was a kid. He stayed in school when I got – I got pulled. But he never quit on me. Never. Even when others did. Madison: He didn’t quit on you, Troy. He just stood by his family. Troy: He wouldn’t look at me. He just… Hard to know how to react to something like that. Madison: You make sure no one else leaves. Save them from the same mistake. I’ll help you.

Troy: I didn’t go out there to do that, I swear. I – He owed me. He had to look me directly in the eye. He had to say it to my face, say it like Vernon said it to my father. He owed me that. Madison: He didn’t want to do that, did he? Troy: He said some things, and I did some things. Then it went bad. Not what you want to hear, is it? Madison: You could run this place, Troy, but not if you let things break like that. Last night you had command. I saw that. Your militia saw that, and they responded. Your brother doesn’t have what you have. He’s not of this place. You’re the survivor. You’re the heir. So, no, the last thing I want to hear is how you lost control. That can’t happen. I don’t care how you did it. I don’t care why you did it. All I care about is that you can control it. There’s a fight coming, and you have to save us. Can you? Troy: Yes, ma’am.

Troy Otto (Fear the Walking Dead): ISTP was originally published on MBTI Zone