#might return to this with more thoughts
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Comfort Creator
Ghost who downloads tiktok only because Soap and Gaz made him so they could send him memes. He hates the app. Thinks everyone on it is just talking way too much about nothing. Finds the consumerism and attention seeking to be beyond annoying.
Ghost who still finds himself scrolling when he needs a mental break from paperwork.
Eventually, he realizes he keeps getting fed this one creator’s videos. It’s the tea reviews that reel him in. They’re nothing special, just them sitting in front of the camera sipping on some artesian tea while chatting about their day and the flavors.
Before long, though, he’s watching all their content. From random rambles to outfit videos to movie talks. They just have a very soothing voice is all. Nothing to do with their pretty face or obviously too-kind disposition. A sweet little thing; so unlike him.
He officially follows three people now.
The thing about Ghost is, he doesn’t sleep. Well, he does, but it’s either like the dead when he’s exhausted himself beyond what his body can handle or fraught with nightmares. He isn’t sure what compels him to do it the first time, but Ghost puts on his their tea review playlist; just lets it play through while he lays in bed. He’s never slept so well. Somehow their voice just makes everything else quiet - like it flips a switch in some primal part of his brain.
At some point he comes across the term “comfort creator” and realizes that’s exactly what he’s got.
A few months pass and Ghost finds himself on medical leave with absolutely nothing to do and all the time in the world. He decides to try some of tea his favorite little creator has reviewed - even some of the bad ones, just to see if he agrees. Maybe he’ll find a new favorite to keep on base.
He makes his way to a local high-end tea shop. All loose leaf and custom blends from various brands and places around the world. He’s far too aware of how out of place he looks - a hulking man in all black and an arm cast in this frilly little shop. A real bull in a china shop.
Ghost’s back goes ram rod straight when an all too familiar voice tries to get his attention. He turns comically slowly, heart pounding in his ears. There they are, tapping his arm and asking if he’ll be so kind as to get that strawberry rose blend down from the top shelf that’s just out of reach. He does, of course, spluttering through an awkward “you’re welcome” and kicking himself when they scamper away to the register before he can introduce himself.
But now he knows they’re close, a shop they must frequent, and has plenty of time on leave. All he has to do is find the right opportunity to make proper conversation. How hard could that be?
#I know this is lazy but it’s haunting me#might return to this with more thoughts#bumbling Simon is my guilty pleasure#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#cod#call of duty#gender neutral reader
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I think the downright most horrific and brutal detail in the show is that Kilgharrah actually used Merlin to make sure Arthur's death happened with the pretence of protecting him
#kilgharrah when i catch you#this is why merlins “ i failed? ” destroyed me to my core#you were never supposed to succeed love#I honestly believe Kilgharrah knew Arthur was supposed to die at Camlaan and just wanted to make sure he didn't die BEFORE that#thats why he was like ooh but Merlin you must protect him and make sure he survives ( until its the convenient time)#and merlin genuinely thought he could protect Arthur until the end#say what you want about Kilgharrah and what his intentions might be behind this but this is SO FOUL#and now Merlins waiting for Arthurs return for a thousand years on Kilgharrah's word alone because thats the only hope he has#what else can he do#lets just hope he's right this time#bummed my self out with this thought while doing my class work#merlin#bbc merlin#merthur#cannot take much more of this guys send help
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Anyways on Twitter I made a thread of Black hairstyles x each Trigun character, and asked who the crowd wanted me to draw for black history month. So here’s four req I picked at random!
Happy Belated BHM!😭
(Source thread under cut)
If you want the original thread that includes, almost everyone it’s here and admittedly it’s kinda bomb! (TriMax Knives was my favourite hc, I will draw him of my own accord soon)
https://x.com/b0tsbby/status/1757469800375136535?s=46&t=B4reFP0FnOly1tkmPhVHew
#LEGATO’S KINDA COLD#also I’m not a stranger to black Livio so this is funny cause I always draw him like this#also Midvalley with cornrows was more of a moment than I thought it was#all just cold if I’m being honest#except for Milly she’s Milly /pos#if I’m feeling#if I’m feeling to it I might draw wolfwood idk cause I think he’d kinda eat too#trigun#legato bluesummers#legato trigun#also no one talks about Razlo but TRUST I will return#I think about Razlo more than I do Livio so I’m down#milly thompson#millie thompson#livio the double fang#trigun livio#livio#trimax#trigun maximum#midvalley the hornfreak#midvalley trigun#I WILL DRAW KNIVES IM SO SERIOUS#sorry I just remembered and started frothing at the mouth#Midvalley fans I’m also started to see the vision LOW-KEY#warm place in my heart for yall
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Obviously normally a gacha game will never make drastic changes to their characters, and Simeon has the 'appeal' of being marketed as an angel, but I just don't like how they are trying to make him an angel again? Like he wants to be an angel because of Raphael/Luke now, not because of any real attachement to the CR. Hell, even If he were to made It back to being a archangel, he would just be Michael's errant boy, he would still be demoted, and every problem he had with the CR before being turned in a human would still be there, he would be in square one again I guess.
Like even If I don't like human!Simeon, in the Devilgram Coffee Someday, he talks about how he dreams of opening a cafetería and how he never thought an angel could 'dream of something like that' (this being in the NB timeline, a obvious reference of him opening the Angel's Halo in OGS3) Is he just suposse to abandone his dream like that? To return to the Celestial Realm just for the sake of Raphael & Luke? I do wonder... Is there really a life for Simeon in the Celestial Realm?
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#post0400#still in L58 but I guess this is what I think now#if it were for me: I would make Simeon temporally a demon. stuff happens#and maybe something happens that makes life in the CR more tolerable for him and he returns to being an angel#or maybe he doesn't turn into a demon. but he remains human and stuff happens and blah blah blah#like I understand not wanting to left alone both luke & raphael but there must be a middle ground around here#between Raphael fears of being alone & Simeon life in the CR not being shit#anyways incoherent rant of the day. since NB story is ending I will be making short post with my thoughts#Simeon storyline might be left inconcluse so it's not like it matters anyways
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So Punk sent Drew feet pics in a group chat back in 2020...
gonna go out on a limb and say there are quite a few people jealous of this guy for how punk and drew have been exchanging pics of his feet with each other
#stumbled across this by accident while tryna find the source of a different photo#and what the hell#punk and drew in a group chat years before his wwe return makes me think they might be a little more matey backstage than i first thought#always figured their backstage drama would be exaggerated a bit for storyline#but maybe more than i thought#cm punk#drew mcintyre#punkintyre#effy
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sixguns & innuendo
#mantimer#mancomer#tmwnn#douglas mortimer#manco#dollars trilogy#artner#theyre fully clothed but im adding the mature community label bc the phallic innuendo is . quite overt.#hhhhhh i've been thinking a lot lately about gun fetishism in westerns.#the scenes in fafdm where manco and mortimer handle each other's weapons already contain fair amounts of subtext#but i thought.. why not increase the homoeroticism !#sixguns are already practically treated as extensions of their gunslingers. why not let manco give mortimer's buntline a lil kiss? ;0#this was originally gonna be a two-part set with a companion image of mortimer returning the favor on manco's colt#(bc. u know. ''equal partnership'' and all that)#but i spent so much fucking time doing the rendering for this image that i decided to forgo the sequel. sorry + not sorry.#but !!! wow im so proud of the shading on this one. it took me an insane amount of time. please clap.#i might make a separate post later about western genre theory and cowboy gun eroticism but for now.... yehaw for phallic imagery !#for a few dollars more (1965)#westerns#🤠#🍝#art#pardner posts
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Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.
I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.
I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??
Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.
#ghostbusters#egon spengler#nikolas posts#I have so many thoughts on it because I've just been rewatching the two movies on loop for the past few days.#All we got was Ray saying that he'd started talking about the end of the world (IIRC) and that he went insane and took everything#when he eventually left to deal with it on his own#which for the record it's extremely impressive that he would've stopped Gozer from returning BY HIMSELF. The only reason it hadn't worked#was because of the electricity issue#Hiding all the traps and setting up the proton packs to fire at the hell pit?? Insanity. He's just on a complete different level of existin#Like they were aware of Ivor Shandor and his plans long before??? They found his ISLAND DEDICATED TO GOZER who had full intention of#BRINGING THEM BACK#it's really Really REALLY not this deep but I have thoughts and I wanted to share them. Maybe someone else might have an idea I#couldn't think of or might have something to add.#I guess it could be a 'they beat Gozer once and assumed they were gone' but that wasn't the first time Gozer 'died' so??#if I missed something Please tell me. I haven't watched the newer movies as much as the older ones (I grew up watching them / playing#the game so I'm more familiar with the older lore and haven't had the chance to rewatch the newer ones 1000 times over unfortunately)#so it's entirely possible I missed something#I'd think maybe it was just because they were older but I really don't think thats the case. I have reasoning for it but I need to do#the math to make sure I'm getting the ages right by the time AfterLife happens.#really need to make a chart / timeline of all the events that happened and what year / month / day they happened. That's a project#for tomorrow perhaps.#anyways if anyones reading this sorry for the insane rambling and congrats for making it to the end#also this post isn't negative I adore the newer movies so much. I love them a lot and I genuinely don't really care about this at all#just a thing to think / ponder / speculate about if that makes sense#I enjoy thinking about stupid irrelevant stuff like this#so so so many thoughts
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torn between wanting to make all my ocs Specialest Little Guys and overpowered VS. the fact I just finished watching all three extended editions of Lord of the Rings and am deeply moved by the struggles and worth of the common man
#ramblings#the end of Return of the King gave me many OC Thoughts and now you're going to hear them#might veto the whole 'Funney Big Weapon Guy is also psychic' thing for Sid Sibyl#won't fully un-magic him just cuz i made it a common thing in the setting but like. i might still nerf him a little in that aspect#his whole schtick is that he is aggressively Just A Guy#he's very persistent. won't come back from a job until he found the last crate that fell off the merchant's wagon or whatever#very good at sword-fighting. cuz he trains and spars a lot and eats like a furnace to keep up his strength#his 'high pain tolerance' is something im self-inserting where i won't notice injuries until later. a bit oblivious. just keeps on truckin#an altogether formidable combo but. he is so much Just A Guy#no super strength no immunities no super-charged magic. not even a cursed weapon to give him a leg up#he finally visits his home again and it's confusing why it's not the same as he remembers it-#-when he should have much more in common with old neighbors and vendors at the market than with his cosmically superpowered friends#old sights and sounds and some friends that give him a warm welcome-back but... it's not the same. it's not home. not anymore#from the moment he chose his path he could never go back home#and I feel like the tragedy of that would be undercut if i gave him something like future-vision or a magical sword
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collection
Star Wars: Hyperspace Stories #5 | Star Wars Adventures: Return to Vader's Castle #3 | Star Wars: Republic #60, #70, #71 | "In the Air" short TCW Magazine story | Star Wars: The Clone Wars #6, #7
#daily asajj thought of the day#what!#what#what?#just went through every last one of her speaking comic appearances for this#conclusion is she doesn't say what nearly enough#i think i got all of them there might be more whats i missed tho#star wars#asajj ventress#star wars comics#star wars memes#hyperspace stories#return to vader's castle#star wars republic#republic 60#sw tcw#star wars the clone wars#sw#ventress#comics#comic panel
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#19.3 Unravel
It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.
Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.
They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.
Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"
Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"
"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"
"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."
"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"
"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."
"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.
Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.
"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"
Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arm ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday.
Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.
Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"
"There's always a chance–"
"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."
Grace fell silent and went still.
Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"
"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"
"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.
Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."
"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.
Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"
"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.
Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."
Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.
"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."
Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.
Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.
Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.
Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."
Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.
When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.
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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point#I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty#like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue#writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way#I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone#Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have#also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial#maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace#because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die#not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth#that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths#so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo#but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save#Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask#see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin fic#my fic#my art#bam#25th bam#jue viole grace#khun#khun aguero agnis#khunbam#shibisu#ship leesoo#rak wraithraiser#hatz
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the last five chapters were extremely rushed and the ending feels generic and boring to me. like i literally joked about how there is going to be a timeskip, deku is gonna be a teacher and they’ll have a pull-out-your-ass solution about how deku can still be a hero. joked in a “this is too goofy” way just like ppl joked about “this is our hero academia”. this feels v?? goofy?? but in a not fun way for me
#yes i had high hopes for this chapter#but honestly? this is just not good writing for me#he could have done it in a different way that i might have still not been satisfied with but if it was not rushed#made sense narrative wise#didn’t kinda…abandon deku’s character development#i could have been okay with it#facts is deku returned to the quirkless kid he was who does not take initiative to follow his dream and who just lets stuff happen to him#like he is lonely and upset about not being a hero but he just sits down and let’s it happen because why would he take matter into his own#hands#just seems to me like maybe he didn’t care about being a hero that much#which would be fine!!! like maybe he changed his mind or the war changed him#(not that we saw any of that cuz there was a timeskip and we didnmt partake in deku’s thoughts for the last idk how many hundred chapters)#but then if that was the case why is he so happy about the support item#idk it’s v generic shonen#why did i even expect more#my fault honestly#bnha leaks#bnha spoilers#bnha 430
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genuine nightmare of a woman
#not pictured but certainly should be mentioned. day 1 of cup bender where mikksy was so trashed at elbo room at like noon o clock#and after he lifted the cup on the balcony he tried to get his beer back that he handed off so he could lift the cup#and just tried to yoink lars' beer and lars was so terribly amused like this is mine! and then pointed at stolie next to him. that is yours#and mikksy was so confused and still tried to grab at it and stolie had to reach over and return the beer he was holding for him#and mikksy looks at the magical beer that appeared before him. looks up to stolie. and then goes :D#also the drunk finnish radio call where he goes LADIES AND PLAYBOYSSSS#honestly those two drunk radio calls... they deserve to be here...#honourable mention i thought id get the puck more if i played d. i wanted to be a garbage truck driver.#honourable honourable mention man who doesnt know what a sock is#more honourable mentions. man who bullies his tiny teammates. lombo rest in piss. manically grins at the prospect of paul camp.#mr cusses in finnish so strongly to himself that paul thinks hes cussing at him#mr i take delight in bullying sasha too despite the fact one day we might just hear a gunshot go off#mr i dont want a golfball with sashas face you can have it back#mr was compared to little rubber rat#mr-#shes a lot things#but certainly a NIGHTMARE#this wasnt supposed to be an open love letter to one (1) niko mikkola but it did turn into one so theres that
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bloodsong of oh shit....oh fuck
#got all hyped up on Ink Pen tool & did some bsol fanart then went over here & did some bsol fanart#corned beef#bsol#bloodsong of love#love how like. i was thinking about it like okay my thoughts & my verbalizations of them are not definitive concerning bsol or anything#which yayy but like the way that the Genre Conventions of like. people who are (probably mostly) figuratively outlaws & the conventions#from spaghetti westerns as like. framing for a story about some of them. & some things show us how they exit / are outside that framing#last on land like. that Already like nobody has names / are named Generically. last on land like this is about stories plural shows plural#relevant to this one but not Just this one. again thoughts words not definitive yay. banana living ''outside'' the western in the world of#someone who rejects that. only today was like oh that then it's ppl around lo cocodrilo who are also more Outside The Framing but not him#relevant to being an alternate the musician rather than forever fundamentally different; certainly a the musician; his like primary#vulnerability being how he's still not actually fully different. still another outlaw/outcast but walking a different road; he told you#all to lead around to me now considering this moment in this way like suddenly pushing things a bit Outside their genre; strikingly#as in the ways you might expect genre conventions to Contain this moment don't happen. most relevantly no music no narration.#manifestation of like wait this isn't how this story is supposed to go. my monologue; my music....#also the return to the knife. the [i'm always like wow the centerpiece to me; juxtaposing w/the henchman steve situation]#like wow that's so interesting you wanted to use your knife to obtain that guy's heart to hype yourself up for a bullet kill though#the numbers flying around my head earlier still treating seriously [au alternate version of This we all live & coconana is something] like#the musician#lo cocodrilo
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Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:
She'd rebuild it—what she had been.
Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.
Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."
"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.
"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."
"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.
Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.
Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.
At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.
In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.
She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.
Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."
A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.
She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."
Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."
"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."
Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.
"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."
"I do know."
"And?"
"And what do you wish me to say?"
She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"
"If what?"
"If you wish it wasn't so."
His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"
She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.
It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.
"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."
She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.
"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."
She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"
"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."
"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."
"Then it is her choice, not yours."
Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."
"What did she show you?" A breathless question.
Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."
She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."
His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"
She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.
Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."
She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.
"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.
"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."
A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"
"We'll face it together," he swore again.
"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.
Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."
"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."
She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.
"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."
She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.
She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"
"I thought you might want to be asked first."
"That never stopped you before."
"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.
She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."
He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.
"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."
The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.
"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.
Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.
Together.
#Chapter 41#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#soulmates#mates#spoilers and notes in tags cause this chapter and also spoilers in post cause this chapter first read react with me read along#Rowaelin chapters scenes moments quotes#they want to make it possible bring that love to light#am I allowed to cry? — Again the word endured — finally the dream — the sand she still sees — he’s magic being steady — them talking time#again if Maeve could convince Rowan Lyria was his mate how bad was it when she convinced Aelin her actual mate was dead… this hurts me…#the fact Aelin stopped being useful because it destroyed her beyond belief but the dreams the dreams almost got her because its all she wan#again then both feeling sorry and the other not realizing and then consent and then comfort and love & I just wanted it2be U how could I no#I know you are tired Fireheart (ALL THE TROPES IN ONE LINE… UGH I MISSED THIS SHIP)#together. one soul in two bodies. their endgame like literally they are. I’d choose you too. even the apologies that were needed just heali#what it might have once been — together — not alone — not returning alone — the king and queen of Terrasen — I need u more — 2 whatever end#Aelin watched the boat until it disappeared trying not to stare too long at the clean unstained sand beneath her boots#always north — she didn’t care she just wanted far away — who knew — what she knew-the letters she sent-Valg-dark blood that had turned red#If it had been another dreamscape or some fragment that had blended into the very real memory of Connall's death. — always a plab&theory#all these things to deal with later-she’d rebuild all she had been-her match helper mirror-matched his piercing stare with her own-wait/res#A far cry from a queen's chamber or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin. — how far we’ve come-she had ENDURED she can do it#I'm your mate she said needing to voice it. And you are mine. — Lyria. — I do know. and?&what do you wish me to say?-this was perfect#If what? If you wish it wasn't so. His brows narrowed. Why would I ever wish that? — Aelin. she looked at him at the pain in his words#the way it's changed since Mistward... and grown... even in names like Whitethorn Galathynius together — the brain thoughts are back —#The kiss was gentle-light. Letting her decide how to guide it. So she did. — he’d do it all night if that was what’s he wished#Together we'll find a way their mingling breaths the crashing sea seemed to echo. Together. — mountains and oceans#Might’ve been before-thought snapped-the bond- u r my mate&I am urs-the world might have been burning for all she cared all he cared too#Together they would face this together they would find a way. — claiming him as he claimed her — a scar a marker a tattoo
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Every now and then I remember I am a random stranger online. None of these people actually know me and I keep my communication at a minimum.... technically, I could just ramble all my thoughts away but I just always feel like it's a bother- because I don't like seeing text in my own blog😒😒 I want to keep the place art exclusive because my thoughts are an absolute mess so I end up mixing up a lot of my words(it's easier to be more expressive with my art). This does in fact happen in real life too because I have a bit of a stutter problem- and I tend to forget a lot of words... or just not know the words in general.
#I might start rambling a lot more possibly.. but erm idk I'll probably forget I ever said this and just never ramble again#vent#?#possibly. I suppose it's more personal....#anyways my thoughts are a mess. I've forgotten anything I wanted to ramble about in the first place#I'm only like. recently picking back up my social skills online#scrambles#urgh me and my. honestly idk smth about thoughts and rambles#😒😒🐺#oh yeah it's Halloween soon so unfortunately spook is returning. man I hope that furry burns in the deepest pits of hell(affectionately)
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You’ve got me! I have been indoctrinated into the fukutora cult lol. They’re just so good!
Also I hc Fukunaga as having selective mutism, and I feel like Tora would be really good at interpreting him :). Like, fukunaga never really bothered to learn sign because he thought it wasn’t really important and so few people can understand sign anyway, and he can usually get a point across without it. And then tora turns up and for whatever reason he can just read fukunaga’s expressions and gestures really well and doesn’t judge him at all and aahhhhhhh! /pos
(Am I projecting? Who knows)
FUKUTORA NATION WE CONTINUE TO GROW, glad to hear it dude!!
I see selectively mute or nonverbal hcs for Fukunaga a lot and I think they're great!! It's cool when mute characters go against the shy stereotype and are actually pretty energetic/sociable. In Fukunaga's character sheet it says his current concern is "Yamamoto tells him to 'Talk more, c'mon'". I think Tora—the oblivious idiot he is—would pester him about talking for the first few weeks before someone finally fills him in. After that he'd start teaching himself sign in an attempt to better understand him only to learn that Fukunaga himself doesn't even know it (though he's touched by the gesture). It doesn't matter anyways cause they just seem to get each other, when Inuoka and Shibayama first join the team they're convinced that the two are psychic.
ANYWAYS YOU'RE COOKING, THIS WAS VERY SWEET! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, also nice saiki pfp
#i dont have selective mutism so if i said anything off-base lmk#This might align more with the nonverbal hcs im not sure#whenever you send me an ask expect a paragraph in return because i have thoughts#TOO MANY THOUGHTS they plauge my brain#fukutora#ant's rambling tag woo
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