#might release the essay on Tumblr when I'm done | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theonethatyaks93 · 1 year ago

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Where I've Been These Past Few Months

Hello Tumblr. I'm back! You have probably been wondering where I've been these past few months. I mean, no major posts, no re-blogs; I basically went cold turkey. Well, a lot of things happened that kinda drained my energy. I had some hellish friend drama, my family life hasn't been the best, and I just needed to take a posting break from both Tumblr and AO3. I also took a break from the PaTB fandom so I could expand my horizons with other things I'm interested in. But now, for the 30th anniversary of Animaniacs, I'm returning to posting for the fandom until the end of the month. I'm going to be hopefully writing some more PaTB fanfiction (there's an idea in particular that I'm excited about) and my goal is to get ideas that I had planned done (i.e. more essays, ranking lists, other special posts). I also have a few announcements for my followers that are listed below:

After September, this blog will be changed so that all my fandoms can be incorporated. So, this blog will no longer be dedicated to solely Pinky and The Brain. For everyone who came for my essays, I thank you so very much for all your support and appreciation. And I'm hoping you'll stay for all my other hyperfixations. Don't worry! I'm not leaving the Animaniacs community; it's just my blog will include more things I'm interested in. I'm also hoping this will get more people to see my work.

A few ideas I had planned are now cancelled due to lack of interest. Brain Week is the biggest cancellation on my list. I just don't have the time right now and I've lost interest in the idea recently. My fanfiction "When He Loved Me" will also not continue for the time being. I've had so many other ideas for other, much better fanfics, that I haven't have time to work on this one. Some ideas are still ready to go, such as my reviews of the PaTB comics and my ranking of every reboot episode/song. And of course, new essays about certain aspects of PaTB and Animaniacs are in production. Also, I have a new multi-chapter fanfiction currently in planning, so the first chapter will probably be released in the upcoming weeks.

Below are some introductions to a few fandoms I'm planning on exploring (Ps: for some posts I'll make for these fandoms, you don't need to be in the fandom to understand what's going on):

The Owl House is a show that was released in 2020 on Disney Channel. It's famous for it's LGBTQ+ characters and it's insane world building. The magic lore, beautiful animation, and memorable characters have made this show a phenomenon with millions of fans and a dedicated community of people who use this show as a comforting tool. I've been involved with the fandom since 2021, where I fell in love with the show after discovering the LGBTQ+ themes. As someone who recently discovered their sexuality, this show connected with me. I even made some close friends through this show. I'm very excited to start discussing it with all of you, and maybe I can get some people into the show.

The Rock-afire Explosion is an animatronic band dating all the way back to 1980. For people who follow me that are familiar with the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise, you may or may not know that these guys are one of the major inspirations behind the video game. The restaurant the band performed at was called Showbiz Pizza Place. The RAE became staples of many people's childhood (including my mom's) and were beloved icons. Though their rival company Chuck E. Cheese would replace the band, their memory lives on through private collections, and even a few public venues. This is actually the oldest fandom I've been involved in aside from My Little Pony. I've loved this band since 2019 and have been wanting to discuss them for a while. I know many people on Tumblr aren't familiar with the band, but that's my goal. To give my followers something they've never seen before, and might become interested in. Seriously, The Rock-afire Explosion have some great music and are so full of character. I might even make a series reviewing their showtapes along with old Chuck E. Cheese tapes. This show is underrated and I believe that giving you guys some exposure to them might give you a new topic of interest or just something new to learn about.

I also might do some reviews for other shows that I want to watch like She-Ra, Dead End: Paranormal Park, Steven Universe, The Looney Tunes Show, Amphibia, The Ghost and Molly McGee, DuckTales 2017, The Dragon Prince, and more. So, basically, this is becoming a generalized animation review blog on occasion, with my fixations being places at the forefront. I'm hoping these expansion plans help to give me motivation for posting more, and will give my followers a wide variety of content to look forward to.

That's about it for updates to the blog. And yes, I changed my username. Once again, I sincerely apologize for my absence in these past few months. This break was what I needed for my mental health and I feel motivated enough to continue posting. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me, I'm eternally grateful. So, to everyone who views this post, I'm back and more than ready to be active again! I'm excited to engage in fandom things again! See y'all soon! Narf!

#pinky and the brain #im tagging this bc it's sorta related #blog updates #im back guys!#prepare for more content posted every other day or so to come!#patb #yep im still here in patb fandom lol

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autisticempathydaemon · 1 year ago

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Have never done anything like this before but I wanted to participate because why not!

Hope I'm doing this right- this is for the RedactedAudio Match-up :)

1 - Ok so I have 2 song fixations, first one is "Used to the Darkness" by Des Rocs and the other is "Morning Coffee" by Chevy and Nalba

For Used to the Darkness the specific verse is the chorus, it's a bit long for tumblr but I'll give my reasoning. I've always loved this kind of rock because it reminds me of the 90s rebellion kind of era and this verse strikes me as 'society has forced me down by its standards and is leaving me in the dust because I've "made a mistake", but I'm going to fight because my life hasn't started yet and I'm too young to simply give up'. Every time I hear that chorus it gives me a second wind of sorts and reminds me to just keep going, to keep being stubborn and to keep being me unapologetically.

For Morning Coffee there is no specific line because I resonate with the whole song lol. I'm a very big coffee addict, like I need coffee or tea every day to make it feel right. The reason being is that it's a small comfort treat to help me feel better especially when some days just aren't the best and I need a pick me up to feel better, even if it's a little bit. I listen to this every morning on my commute and every afternoon on the way back home, it's such a big comfort song that I keep on repeat.

2 - 6! (subtype sp) 3 - I love a good video essay! My favourite ones are a bit niche but I especially love SovietWomble's essay about "The Forest" because it's a deep dive critique and explanation of what happens when lore is added to a game post-release and why it's so important to develop it as a whole rather than doing it in bits as it can be the difference of an amazing or completely underwhelming experience. As someone who writes for fun and loves to play games soley for the lore sometimes, I found it useful to develop and hone my skills in world-building and making my stories more coherent. Also because he did a face reveal at the end BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!

4 - Gosh I haven't talked about my imaginary friend in a bit, her face evades me but I remember she would always help me sleep or play with me when no one else did (so everyday basically). She always wore a yellow dress and had her hair up in pigtails. I never gave her a name because she never needed one, I just called her 'friend', I miss her

5 - Put on a redacted audio vid and fall asleep to that lmfao (usually a david vid)

6 - I honestly don't know what I'd change my name to, sometimes I just wish I didn't really have a name because my self identity fluctuates so much

7 - Favourite redacted audio, hm, tbh any of David's audios. I find myself always returning to one of his videos but I think I like his camping one the most, I cry every time but hearing the stories makes my heart so full and like I genuinely want to comfort him.

8 - Huxley maybe? I love his pairing with Damien but I've never really liked or gotten into his story much, might just be a me thing- but hey he's gay so that's fun

9 - RWBY! Specifically volumes 1-3 because they're so iconic, love the entire series though, I quote it a lot to myself.

10 - Guy, he's as much as a dumbass and gremlin as I am and I THRIVE off of the chaotic energy so much. Plus he can make me pizza while we hang out so that's fun!

11 - Memes, I will start quoting memes. Either that or "Which character would win in xyz situation? A or B?" 12 - 7-11 hot chocolate but instead of milk I put a latte in it

13 - Karu's "How To Train Your Dragon" orchestra cover playlist 14 - smutty audios... idk I just find it fun to scour for a good audio on reddit lmfao

15 - I'm very argumentative and will debate anyone on any topic (I've been a debater for years), but I'm also very much a people pleaser because I like to give people gifts and do acts of service. Uh- does a plushie addiction count as something that'll tell you who I am? I like dnd and Critical Role

Thank you!

Ooh, I love you; you gave me so much information to work with! There were a good amount of possibilities I was working with, but if you’re an argumentative Six, who else can I pair you with but Avior?

You’re both similar in a lot of ways- a love of debate, prone to Acts of Service, Type Sixes who are loyal, thoughtful, and reliable. It’s these similarities but also the differences that make me think you’d be compatible. Avior and his sarcastic, sharp nature would be good at keeping your people-pleasing chaos in check. Your love of storytelling and narratives would be new and so refreshing to him as he’s never put so much thought into fantasy and fiction. He learns to accept your gifts graciously because he wants you to be happy even though he’s not used to it.

Your life together would be so fun; you’d make his life so fun. Avior does not understand your plushie collection, but he tolerates it and comes to terms with their watching eyes every day because he loves you. He also doesn’t understand any of your memes either; he pretends he thinks they’re insipid and pointless, but he actually thinks they and you are cute and silly when you quote them. Also, you’re totally coffee/tea addicts together, and you’ve got the best stocked caffeine cupboards in all of Dahlia.

Song:

Just tea for two and two for tea/ Me for you and you for me alone/ Nobody near us/ To see us or hear us/ No friends or relations/ On weekend vacations/ We won't have it known, dear/ That we own a telephone (oh, I hate telephones) (yeah, me too)

I couldn’t help it; you gave me a coffee song, so I had to give you a tea song in return! I also like it for you, because it’s cute, it’s sweet, it’s singable. It’s not just about tea but love and being together, having tea side by side for the rest of your lives. It’s the kind of song you could sing at Avior, and he’d have to try really hard to not be charmed.

Runner-Ups:

If you’re a DnD fan, I’ve got to give you Lasko as a runner-up; my brain would not allow otherwise! The two of you could write together and be so cute. Asher is your other contender because you’re similar in a lot of ways that would be really fun but more in a platonic, best friend way than romantic like Avior.

note: thank you so much for waiting~! I hope you like your match-up!

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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firefromthegodspro · 6 months ago

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Final Game Jam Dev Log: It seems we have reached... an end

Greetings, greetings, fair Tumblr. Tis I, local crackpot wizard Fire. It's currently 2:30 in the morning, and as I type this part of the post, Messier Mystes' prototype is uploading to Itch.io for submission into the Jam!

It's admittedly not... great, I did run out of time to get it to a point I wanted. But it is at the very least functional. Lacking cutscenes, balance, and quality. But functional.

Safe to say, this is the farthest I've gotten on a creative project not meant for a class, so I'm both relieved I managed to finish something (I am literally that one Jimmy Neutron villain IRL), and disappointed I couldn't even polish the vertical slice I made.

So before we talk about the bad, let's talk about the good!

I've literally never made a game before, so just the fact I did this is an accomplishment to me. Like genuinely. I was given RPG Maker MV in high school as a gift, and I've never been able to sit down and release something playable, so this was insanely satisfying! Even if I don't win anything or I get bad reviews, I'm just happy to be here.

Additionally, as scuffed as my Timetable system is, the fact I managed to make a semi-functional one abusing If/Else statements, Common Events, and Variables makes me proud. I problem solved, and while it is basic I think it's somewhat creative for my first foray into the engine.

Now onto the "what I'm disappointed about" section.

I am extremely disappointed that I didn't budget my time well at all. I really should've either chosen a smaller scope, or focused hard on a vertical slice, but I didn't manage to. It led to me cutting a lot of corners in the final hour, and I'm unhappy with it. It kinda sucks to me I didn't manage to even implement music or cutscenes properly, but its whatever.

Enjoy this Rouxls Kaard gif as a line break.

SO! What are my plans for the future?

Well, near future, I'm taking a couple days and binging both FGO and Tsukihime. I managed to NP2 Arc on the Anniversary banner, so I feel obligated to consume her route in the VN as quickly as possible. I haven't exactly been only game devving, but I do wanna take a couple days and let my creative juices refill.

I'm bone dry, man!

Secondly, in the slightly less-near future, I need to focus on my novel. I've let Quest for the Sacred Sword fall by the wayside, and I wanna get more progress put into that before I hop back onto Messier.

But never fear! My middling Dev Blogs and game development talents will return.

In terms of what's in store for the future, obviously things like adding cutscenes... adding the Social Link-type mechanic, and all of that is on the docket. But I also need to redesign my dungeons to meet my initial vision for them. Additionally, while I might stick with the ad hoc bootleg Timekeeping system, I definitely want to refine it a bit more if I don't outright replace it.

I also need to seriously overhaul my spell list. I have a perfectly fine basic outline, but as I implemented it I realized I forgot to focus on where the spells would fall in the level tree...

Yeah, again, I've never really done this before.

So revamping that is a must.

I also need to improve my map designs. I have some pretty basic ones, but improvements can always be made, and I want to make them.

That all being said, I'll still be posting here, just not Game Dev stuff. Probably more random thoughts, novel updates, or random garbage essays I come up with about my hyper fixations. The Wordpress (with a total of 1 post) is going to go silent for now, and will return when important updates exist. I'm still going to be working on Messier slowly in the background, but I won't really talk about it until I have something significant to show off.

Whelp, as of this line its just shy of 2:50 and I have to be up at 8 for work. The game's uploaded and submitted by now, so I'm going to go crash.

Walking the path of heaven to rule over everything.

-Fire

#game development #rpg maker #game design #messier mystes #development update #game jam #final update

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clementines-writing-corner · 1 year ago

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finals week + fandom stats

Hello friends!

Finals week is upon me and as such I have had to prioritize. This means that despite me chomping at the bit to get more done for my original story, I have unfortunately not done much. For one of my classes, however, I recently did a final analysis on my work. (In fact, it was the same class I started this blog for. ᕱ__< ) In this final analysis I came to some conclusions about one of my projects that made me quite sad. Despite all of the hardwork and effort I put into it, I failed to make an engaging piece of digital media. It was a good piece, but it missed the mark in several areas. BUT! I feel as though it may be of some interest to my fellow fandom nerds here on tumblr. So, since I don’t have much new work to share with y’all this week, I figured I’d release this project into the wild.

For some background information: the assignment was to create an infographic. I wanted to make it something relevant to my interests, so I was struggling a little to come up with something fun and interesting until I remembered a video I saw back when I used to have TikTok. (Yes, I had TikTok. It was cool and fun and all, but it took too much time from my day so I deleted it a little over a year ago. But I digress.) The person in this video was throwing out some fandom stats from Archive of Our Own (popular fanfiction website, though I’m sure most of y’all know that) and I wondered if I would be able to collect my own data from AO3 and make an infographic of that. And so I did.

Needless to say, the data collection took a lot of work. A LOT of work. And once I was finished with gathering, I sorted. And once I was finished sorting, I did some math (incorrectly) and then some more math (correctly) and created my infographic using Adobe Illustrator. And it was okay. If I had the technological skills and know-how to do so, I would have made it an interactive graph which would give you more data when you clicked on stuff. But I didn’t have the skills or know-how. The resulting infographic kinda hits you in the face with a bunch of info and it’s kind of overwhelming.

So, like I said, it’s not my best work, but I definitely learned a lot from it. And mayhaps y’all might find the information fascinating so… behold, I suppose:

What do you make of it? Is the information surprising? Unsurprising? Completely and utterly uninteresting to you? Let me know! And for those of y’all in college/university with me: good luck on your finals if you have yet to take them and I'm sure you aced your finals if you have already taken them! And if I survive, I’ll see y’all next week! ᕱ__ᕱ

Just remember to dot your j’s and cross your t’s (especially on your final essays)!

~Clementine J. Quincey 🪷

P.S. Remember that I am posting a second extra content post this week as well!! Look out for that coming soon!

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thedude3445 · 2 years ago

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current irons in the current fire

Before I get to start new fun projects to kick everyone's asses, I gotta finish the stuff already out there, so let's remind ourselves what those are:

(gonna make a readmore cut thing because this got too long, as rambles often do)

Systemless, the very silly very gay epic that's wrapping up finally after 3 years, I'm aiming to finish in April. Honestly this book is super up the Tumblr alley and even has BL romance but I forgot to promote it on here lol. I'll do that when the ebook versions come out

Golemancer, which really bombed compared to my original expecations, but it's still a pretty well-liked story honestly. I am going to wrap up Book 2 since it's already almost done, then publish ebook versions, and if those do well I'll finish the series later on. I should have done this over a year ago...

Japan Romance, the codename for a long-gestating project I've been working on since 2019. It was a novel, then a comic, now it's a visual novel, and yes I'm intentionally adding these comma splices why do you ask? When this project comes out someday you are gonna flip out, I promise. It's gonna be my ultimate early career project.

Project U, a collab with Ktalaki, the actual mspa prophet and not me actually. This project will never see the light of day, on purpose.

Game Jam. Quinlan Circle is gonna do a week-long game jam during Golden Week. Unless the game is literally unplayable, we will post that online afterwards.

Project Z, this is a codename that's actually just the impending release of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom, a game that I suspect will take up an entire month of my life. Still working on creative projects even while this game is out is going to be my life's ultimate challenge. When Fire Emblem Engage came out I totally failed at doing anything but playing that game (and also dealing with various life crises throughout February but that's a story for another time AKA an actual blog essay not this thing)

MSPA Reread 2023, a project that's semi-creative because it's unlocking entire spheres of my brain I forgot even existed. The sheer nostalgia that came with reading Homestuck Act 5-2 took up multiple days of my life reminiscing about old projects and long-dead forum thread. I'm on Act 6 Intermission 3 now as of today, and I think my friend group will finish around the end of April. Later, I'm gonna read the Epilogues and Homestuck 2 for the first time and see why people hate them so much lol. I know they're not "strictly canon" but I'm a long-time Star Wars EU fan, so fluid canonicty in layers is totally normal to me. Maybe not to other people...

(also I guess Psycholonials counts here? And the visual novel games? IDK about those quite yet)

Anyway there's one thing that I'm building to, and that's a project codenamed Really Big Story. You might be able to guess the story concept based on the codename. Quinlan Circle has been going for almost 5 years now, and we're getting ready to work on something super ambitious. But we can only work on it after we're all in better spots creatively. For me this means finishing (or quitting) all the stuff I've built up over the years. I have too many projects!!!!!

If you actually read this whole thing, send me an ask for which of these you want me to ramble about in my next mini-blog. I'll do that tomorrow or something (the mini-blogs will never be as long as this one, at least I hope so lol because this took like 20 minutes)

#progress mini-blogs #until the mspa reread 2023 in march i legit forgot the irons in fire line was a hs reference

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writer-monster · 3 years ago

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11 reasons why cap 4 should reintroduce Bucky Barnes as the love interest, an essay

to start this off, i am not writing this essay from a shipping place nor do i believe that this would have any influence at all over the upcoming movie. i expect nothing. this is simply something that i would personally like to see. (of course no hate to anybody who thinks differently)

here are 11 reasons why i think making Bucky into Sam Wilson's love interest in Cap 4 would be a good move for Disney.

1. on the Chinese film market - and why it's an irrelevant argument against the inclusion of homosexual themes in Cap 4

the Chinese film market is something that has been blamed for a lack of diversity in Hollywood films a lot lately. many people claim that this market with a lot of buying power has been responsible for the lack of gay and black representation in particular within Hollywood films.

and we have certainly seen Hollywood treating it as such, going so far as to cut gay scenes from movies for their Chinese releases, and vastly minimising John Boyega's (a black actor's) presence in the Chinese poster of Star Wars The Force Awakens.

[image ID: on the left is an image of the American poster for Star Wars The Force Awakens, featuring John Boyega prominently on the right-hand side. And on the right is the Chinese poster for the same movie, in which John Boyega is barely visible.]

so we know at the very least that Disney believes this through their own actions and efforts to self-censor for the different markets.

but Captain America 4 is a black-led movie, don't you forget. and Disney can't minimise Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie in the movie or the poster because it's his movie and his poster. and no amount of creativity in the editing room can change that (thank God!).

so if by their own argument the film is already going to be either banned, panned or slammed in China... then what do they have to fear from making it a gay movie too?

2. oh, the queerbaiting

queerbaiting is an unusual cultural idea. and sometimes i find myself thinking that the term is far too easily used, but then all of a sudden i will stumble upon a movie or show that is so quintessentially cruel and overt in it's... well... queerbaiting that i will start to wonder what the hell kind of a bizarre relationship all these straight people seem to have with their friends. take Troy and Abed from Community or John and Sherlock from Sherlock as the perfect examples of this. (in which my reaction to the show's creators saying the show wasn't gay was to ask so then why did you make it so gay?!)

i felt that Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in tfatws were getting quite close to this level of queerbaiting.

there was the field scene, the couple's counselling scene, the boat scene, the couple's counselling scene, Bucky going with Sam to face Karli when she told Sam to come alone, the couple's counselling scene, ALL the staring scenes, Sam checking out Bucky's ass here as they said goodbye, the "i would move in with him but" hidden scene, "Uncle Bucky" showing up at the cookout scene, the romantic walking off together into the sunset together ending scene, and the couple's counselling scene. did i forget anything? but i mean seriously, the couple's counselling scene!!! that thing they did with their legs and their crotches while staring deep into each other's eyes, would any straight guy willingly do that? do straight guys crotch-snuggle now?

[image ID: an image of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes during the therapy scene with the quote, "Isn't anybody going to drag me into impromptu couple's therapy and slot my legs firmly between theirs before staring deeply into my eyes?"]

(yeah i stole this image from a buzzfeed article on the fan reactions to the couple's therapy scene. but given that they stole 80% of the content of that article from fandom tumblr, i think it's pretty even-steven.)

there's also the fact that people started talking about bisexual Bucky Barnes a lot after the tiger pictures line, and the lead writer Malcom Spellman responded to the talk of Bucky's bisexuality with "just keep watching". well we watched, Malcolm. but it's beginning to feel like you were just jerking us around.

3. the writing

seriously though, what else is Bucky Barnes doing right now in the MCU? his only remaining connection to anything going on right now is through Sam. there is literally nothing else established that's left for him to do that doesn't involve Sam. he moved to Louisiana to be closer to Sam (canonically), he hangs out with Sam's family (canonically), and Steve is presumably gone and is definitely not coming back for more adventures.

he has no villains or loose ends left. he has no other superheroes that he appears to be in contact with. he has no girlfriend or potential love interest, or even other friends or family. he is living in a tent that he has secretly set up in Sam's backyard and is mysteriously appearing from the bushes when it's time for dinner like a stray cat.

in my opinion there is no other meaningful and pre-established progression for Bucky's character that wouldn't just feel cheap.

plus, i don't think the general audience would be all that surprised if they kissed. i think a LOT of people picked up on all that tension. i think a lot of straight people picked up on all that tension too.

4. the chemistry between the actors & the chemistry between the characters

the original pitch for tfatws was essentially just this, it was the chemistry between Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie and their respective MCU characters of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

now obviously Anthony and Sebastian are simply friends, and i wouldn't mean to imply anything more. but they are also not their characters.

Sam and Bucky's scenes together before tfatws were both limited and short, and yet audiences still fell in love with the dynamic between the two characters.

in interviews, these two actors are constantly slipping into character and flirting with each other and frankly it's adorable. plus it's really entertaining. i'd love to see that dynamic, unfiltered, in a movie.

because believe it or not the flirting is actually even more open in their interviews than it was in tfatws. and i'm leaving some links as proof.

this here is known as the "married" compilation

and here's a "lucky dip" selection of interviews - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

and here's Anthony trying to get Seb to take his jacket off.

i'm just saying, why not let their chemistry shine? these two are so talented and so entertaining, especially when you put them in a room together. and can you imagine how absolutely hilarious and brilliant it would be to watch them navigate being a couple?

(and for those who bring up the "friends would be uncomfortable pretending to be dating" argument, i'm not here asking for a sex scene or anything. i don't think anyone would expect them to show any more intimacy (physical or emotional) while playing a couple than what they've already shown together in say... tfatws or in their own interviews. not that i actually expect anything regardless.)

5. if they were a man and a woman they would've gotten together in tfatws

i have no more to add here. just that... yeah, they would've.

6. and i'm not talking about the comics here, i'm talking about the MCU.

i understand fully that none of what i'm saying here falls in line with these characters from the comics. but the mcu itself doesn't fall much in line with the comics either, and these two characters especially are very different from their comics counterparts.

i'm not asking for these two to get together in the comics. tbh i don't think that it would work.

but the mcu Sam and Bucky are different and closer than their comics counterparts. they've got different histories, different backstories, and a very different dynamic. please rest assured that i am only talking about them in the mcu.

7. Bucky Barnes is believably bisexual. and Sam Wilson has never been proven to be straight in the mcu, nor has he had a love interest.

(now please continue to keep in mind that these points only stand for the mcu versions of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson, and not at all for their comics counterparts.)

Sam Wilson has never had a love interest, which is crazy because have you seen that man! he has had two blink and you'll miss it moments of verbal expression of attraction to women, both in TWS. and that's the extent of it, through his entire history in the mcu.

Bucky Barnes has had a number of surface-level female love interests, but none of them even came close to the level of connection and chemistry that Bucky shares with Sam.

and i'm sorry SarahBucky fans, but i just don't think there's very much to their relationship either. i love Sarah, i really do. but it's Sam who shares all the meaningful moments and history and chemistry with Bucky. and i don't see what making her into a love interest would do for Sarah's character either, what would that add to her story?

[Picture ID: Bucky at the cookout with Sam, Sarah, Cass and AJ. Bucky and Sam are looking at each other and smiling.]

and also there is the whole tiger pictures thing... again. which does strongly suggest that Bucky is bisexual whether this was intentional on behalf of the writers or not.

8. it's representation... AND it feels natural

marvel hasn't had a lot of queer representation that's been noticeably present in the MCU at the time of writing this.

there have been a lot of failures so far, from the bisexual erasure of Valkyrie in Thor Ragnarok to the wlw erasure in Black Panther.

there was queerbaiting almost identical to the bisexual Bucky baiting for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. when asked if he had considered featuring a gay hero in gotg2, director James Gunn stated that "We might have already done that. I say, watch the movie." after the movie's release audiences were understandably confused about the lack of queer representation. To which the director followed up his comments with, "But we don't really know who's gay and who's not. It could be any of them."

there is also Loki, considered by most fans after the airing of his six episode series on Disney+ to be both a poor attempt at both genderfluid representation and bisexual representation. with both attempts being summed up fairly well by the term "blink-and-you'll-miss-it". (also it's just terribly written and Loki doesn't wear any interesting clothes! fanficcers are a Goddamn blessing in this hard time!)

and let us not forget that Andrew Garfield was apparently FIRED for pushing for a bisexual spiderman. a bisexual spiderman within an interracial mlm relationship no less.

so for all these failures, marvel, why not allow us queer fans this? two brilliant and heroic men in a loving interracial relationship. two heroes that we can look up to.

now, one of the biggest detractions from the argument for representation is the idea of "forced diversity". and some poorly written characters certainly do end up feeling forced into the narrative. take Iceman in the comics for example, with Jean Grey just straight up suddenly telling him he's gay. like, marvel, sweetie, that's not how this works! and i don't know a lot of queer people who thought much of that "representation".

but the crux of the "forced diversity" argument is almost always that it feels unnatural within the story, right? and i don't think that anyone could say that about MCU Sam and Bucky ending up together, given these characters' existing chemistry and their history. they've both played characters in gay relationships before so we know that it's not outside of either actor's wheelhouse. and y'all know that Anthony and Seb can act, people. if it's in the script i believe that they'll make it seem like the most natural thing on earth.

9. it'd be a nice change

there's been an ongoing meme lately about "Disney's first gay character", the joke being that they continually announce gay characters without really ever including gay characters in their films.

this is to the point where Disney has formed a reputation amongst queer audiences of being homophobic.

if Sam and Bucky were to become a couple, then Disney could have its first actual gay character within a gay relationship. AND have him be in the lead of his own movie, no less.

it's also worth keeping in mind that there's likely an overlap between the people who were outraged by a Sam Wilson Captain America, and the people who'd be outraged by a gay Captain America. and if they were already not seeing the film, then i don't think much is gonna change that.

queer audiences would definitely love it, and the media attention would be guaranteed to be huge. i mean, simply look at the amount of media attention mere rumours of a character's queerness gets you and multiply that by a canon confirmation of said rumours.

but i'm pretty sure that Disney already knows this.

10. and yet, in truth, it's not about the representation

in truth i've never felt that i had any trouble relating to characters of any sexual orientation, race, gender, sex, body type, etc. (although that is not to throw any shade at all on people who do wish to see themselves represented) but for me, i think it's more about the story than the packaging.

and yet, a love story is still just a story. straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial. when two characters have chemistry and history and have sacrificed for each other time and time again, and they also can't keep their hands or their eyes off each other, then i'm pretty sure that that's a love story.

straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial, it shouldn't be about these simple labels. it should be about how well written the relationship is. it should be about chemistry, and history, and sacrifice.

because i'm fucking sick of all the hollow, forced romances in media no matter the genders of the participants. i'm sick of lazily written, shallow relationships where any two people sharing the same space for any extended period of time will simply fall in love. it's boring, it's repetitive, and as a writer myself it drives me up the wall!

romance stories suck! and everyone knows that romance stories suck. between twilight, and most of the entire YA genre, and love triangles (so boring), and romance used as poorly-written throwaway subplots in Hollywood movies, the world is in agreement that the romance in western media is simply dreadful. and yet we still want love stories. it's an entire genre that sits at the heart of the human experience (<3), and yet one which so few of today's best known writers seem truly able to capture.

i don't think that i'm the only one who feels this way, either. i suspect it's actually a large part of why fandom is so romance-centred in the first place, that we're all just starving for a good love story.

(btw i think fandom has a reputation for being something that as a whole that it is not. it has this reputation for straight up demanding things and harassing people until they get their way. while unfortunately there are a few people who do this, they're fucking annoying and i swear that they're far from the majority.

in my experience fandom is mostly about writing a five thousand word story at three am while drunk off your ass because it might make someone whom you've never met smile, editing it in the cold light of day, and then posting it. expecting nothing. sometimes getting nothing. and sometimes getting someone send you kudos or a comment so heartbreakingly wonderful that it makes you smile in return.)

11. so once again, it is all about the writing.

i want to see Sam and Bucky get together in the mcu, not because they would be a gay couple but because i genuinely believe that their story has potential to be an amazing love story.

and i know the mcu isn't about the romance. it's why in my personal opinion we haven't gotten a lot of good canon romances besides Peter Quill and Gamora. and i don't think that the mcu should be all about the romance either. i fucking love the action and the fighting scenes. i love the comedy. Captain America: The Winter Soldier had no romance and it was a fucking treasure, it was an amazing spy-action-thriller and it made my little gay heart dance. Thor Ragnarok had no romance, and it was an utterly brilliant comedic spectacle action film. not every movie needs romance.

but mcu Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were doing couple's therapy and fixing a boat and walking off into the sunset together in tfatws. they were inseparable on the battlefield. they've got a dynamic. it's beautiful, it's romantic, and it's gold.

a budding relationship between them in the next movie would be a good way to explore both characters more without the narrative feeling too stilted and separate. at the end of tfatws, both Sam and Bucky fans found that their respective fave felt somewhat underutilised and that their characters were underexplored.

now, that problem would be even more difficult to remedy in a movie, because the plotline of a movie needs to be really tight to work (giggity). and we know that the central conflict of the movie is gonna be action-based (which is good), but we still need each character's personal journey and growth to tie into the main conflict. (which is another issue that some fans found with tfatws, that these characters didn't really feel connected to the action-based plot on a more personal level.)

if Sam and Bucky are already in a relationship, however, this whole dynamic changes. first, their relationship has already been set up for nicely since TWS and through tfatws and they would officially be the best-fleshed-out couple in the mcu. but most importantly, a relationship gives them a perfect vehicle to explore both of their pasts comparatively and connect them personally to the action-based plot.

do you want to establish that Sam is a little too trusting and naïve? then establish this through his relationship with Bucky, and through showing his placing his trust in Bucky. (rather than through having him sympathise with a villain who threatened to murder his sister and his nephews).

perhaps you want to show Bucky recovering from his trauma? show us how comfortable he is with Sam. they get along, they're enjoying each other's presence, we see more of Sam's life and of his family, and then let Bucky tell Sam something that's raw and dark and honest about his life as The Winter Soldier. something about a memory, one that he only just recalled. he's opening up. and maybe what he tells Sam is even something that sets up the future action-based conflict, to ground that in something real.

you want to explore that Sam has trauma too? do this through Bucky. he tells Bucky a story about his time in the military. in the form of a flashback, he shares his own story of loss to evoke before the audience the shared theme of feeling at fault even when you're simply a helpless bystander to an act of pure destruction.

then, action sequence! and it's directly connected to Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier. explore the grief of someone whose life the Winter Soldier tore apart manifesting into a villain perpetuating the cycle of pain. establish your villain.

Later, Sam is dragged into battle against this villain for protecting Bucky. But Bucky doesn't want Sam to protect him. He feels guilt for what he can't control and he doesn't want Sam getting hurt because of him. Bucky reminds Sam that he has a family, one who needs him and who loves him. He tells him to go home.

Sam reminds Bucky that he's a part of that family. And that sure Sam's a hero and his job is to protect anyone and everyone, but that he's doing it because he wants to. It's not simply to prove that he can, or to prove that he's not a bystander (this connects to Sam's trauma here), but that he's doing it to help people.

and this gets Bucky thinking about who he is and what he's doing here. is he a hero who stands by Sam's side? or is he an ordinary man who stands aside? or perhaps, does he stand alone? what does he stand for? Maybe Sam knows. But does Bucky?

Sam and Bucky fight off the villain again, and for the first time Bucky meets this adversary face to face. And Bucky recognises this villain, and has a flashback to the genuine pain that he inflicted upon them in the form of the Winter Soldier. Bucky freezes mid-fight, he almost dies, and Sam has to save him.

Sam chews Bucky out for almost getting killed because he was afraid for him. but Bucky takes this the wrong way and goes off to fight the villain alone, or perhaps to die alone, he's not quite sure.

He puts up a half-hearted fight. He apologises for what the Winter Soldier has done, and he waits for the killing blow, when Sam swoops down and he saves him. He asks Sam why he saved him and Sam calls him a moron. And then, Sam asks him what sacrificing himself would solve. He tells him that you can't choose your past but you can choose your future (connecting to his own experience of loss and guilt and grief). And that no matter what Bucky Barnes still has a future, whether that's as the Winter Soldier or the White Wolf or just some dork with a day job. And that he has a future as a part of Sam's family too.

Sam fights the villain, and it's toe to toe. He delivers a few good blows, but receives a fair few himself. And then the villain tears off his wings, first one and then the other, in a manner reminiscent of what the Winter Soldier did to him in TWS. Through Bucky's eyes there's a flashback to highlight the parallels. Sam gets back on his feet and he fights his best fight, but is now losing.

And then the heavily injured Bucky steps up and fights by Sam's side, and only together do they take down the villain.

"So... I inspired you, huh?" Sam teases with a smile, utterly exhausted. "With my heroism and-"

"You inspired me." Bucky said, equally exhausted. "Let's leave it at that."

Together, Sam and Bucky go back to the safety and warmth of their family. Sam fixes his wings. Sam goes back to being Captain America. And Bucky... he's around, but it's unclear what he's doing.

That is, until the very end. When Sam is in a fight, and suddenly Bucky shows up and helps him out.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"I've made up my mind." Bucky says. "I'm the Winter Soldier. But now I'll save lives, Sam. Now, like you, I'll be a hero."

Sam smirks. "So does this make you my sidekick, then?"

Bucky smiles. "C'mon, at least make me a partner." He says.

"How about co-workers." Sam says (in flashback, he remembers back to the death of his last on-the-job partner).

"How about friends." Bucky says, with a wry look.

"Bucky... I don't want to see you put your dumbass self in danger." Sam says.

"Oh, and it's ok for you to go running off into danger on your own all the time?" Bucky asks.

"Yes." Sam says stubbornly. "Absolutely it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a dumbass?!"

"Sam, if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back for the rest of time... then you're the biggest dumbass I know. And I don't care if you need me or not, I will be there for you."

"Because Sam, you're more than Captain America. You're more than a good soldier. You're a good man. And I think sometimes, the world forgets what the difference is."

...or something like that.

(i only spent like 15 minutes on that. you know if i were actually writing this movie i would come up with something much better. and if anyone from marvel is seeing this, yes i can come work for you. i will make the time, let's do this thing right!)

finale

at the end of the day, whether or not the mcu chooses to make Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes a couple, it's their decision. and they don't owe me anything.

i'm just some random person on the internet. who thinks that Captain America 4 should #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend

#givecaptainamericaaboyfriend #meta #analysis #captain america 4 #caatws #fatws #tfatws #captain america #cap 4 #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #marvel #mcu #mcu phase 4

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kuinliekkienroihu · 4 years ago

Note

I (crysuzumushi, haha) am working on answering your ask game prompts, you picked two of my very favorites, thank you! I'm gonna ask you to do Kaname too! And Byakuya.

Okay, thanks for the ask!! Sorry it took so long to answer, i wrote a novel. Also sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes, English isn’t my first language

Kaname:

1. Favorite thing about them

How he always seeks to act according to his sense of justice. Also he's one of the best written characters in the entire series. He's very complex, which makes him feel kinda like an actual person with understandable actions caused by his past. There are a lot more things, but i'm not good at putting things to words so yeah.

2. Least favorite thing about them

How underutilized he was as a character. I'm really glad there's more of him in cfyow, even though i've only read the first part

3. Favorite line

" I follow the path least soaked in blood. The path I walk is justice."

4. BrOTP

I have many, mostly Shuhei, Aizen, Gin and Sajin

5. OTP

6. NOTP

hmm, i don't like him and Aizen romantically at all, same goes for Sajin

7. Random headcanon

He has a plant garden in Las Noches in which he grows, among many other things, the ingredients for Aizen's tea, which is Kaname's secret special mix of herbs. Aizen really misses the tea Kaname made for him.

8. Unpopular opinion

He did nothing wrong, or rather, all he did was (more or less) justified

9. Song i associate with them

10. Favorite picture of them

This is my favorite too

Byakuya:

1. Favorite thing about them

Yes. I love every single thing about him. Even the things others would consider as flaws are perfect. I really like how calm and collected he is regardless of the situation, he's intelligent and calculating.

A very well written character with, in my opinion, the best character development. Especially his relationship with Rukia from ignoring her out of pain (since she looks almost identical to Hisana), protecting her to keep a promise, letting her be executed to keep another promise to genuinely caring about her and saving her life in many occasions, clearly regretting what he did to her and trying to compensate for his actions.

Kubo wrote his development extremely well, in the end of the series he's objectively a better person than in the beginning, but his personality didn't change much. He's still the same overly serious, stuck up asshole we know and I love him for it.

Another thing I love the most about him is the fact that he's another walking contradiction. But somehow, these contradictions make a paradox or a perfect harmony without cancelling each other. Kubo did an amazing job making him have many layers in his character. There's this line from a book (had to look it up, the book is called "the chrysanthemum and the sword") that the author used to describe Japanese people, I think I read that in someone's ig story and it got stuck in my head since it reminded me of Byakuya so much, and in my honest opinion, describes him rather thoroughly, especially second, third and fourth ones. His zanpakuto, which is one of the infinite reasons I love him, being fully portrayed by the second one "both militaristic and aesthetic" being combined into the beautiful but deadly weapon Senbonzakura is.

"both aggressive and unaggressive, both militaristic and aesthetic, both insolent and polite, rigid and adaptable, submissive and resentful of being pushed around, loyal and treacherous, brave and timid, conservative and hospitable to new ways"

When you think about it, he has the most fitting zanpakuto for his personality compared to the other shinigami and the way he uses it is one of the tiny details which make him, him.

His spot as a captain and the head of the Kuchiki clan is in my opinion fully earned (rest of the nobles (except Yoruichi) can go fuck themselves) (sorry Tara, ignore this please lol). He is hardworking and precise, almost workaholic, has trained hard from a very young age and puts duty above everything. But he still has a hidden "work mode: off" -side which we see occasionally as cracking a dry joke or the wakame taishi fuckery in general. Latter being, in my honest thoughts, hilarious and adorable.

There is a lot more but i literally can't list everything. This is already a hell of an essay.

2. Least favorite thing about them.

My answer is probably as you can expect: none.

There is one thing i don't really like, but it's about the writing.

!!TYBW SPOILERS!!

In the beginning of the arc i think that immediately releasing bankai, especially when he knew it was gonna be sealed, was out of character and i would have been very upset if he stayed dead, since the action which resulted in that was not something he would do.

3. Favorite line

“If it’s for the sake of my pride there’s nothing I won’t destroy.”

I know it’s from a filler but this line just sums his whole character, personality and motivations up so well.

4. BrOTP

I have so many, i want him to have friends lol. But to point out the most significant ones i'd say Rukia, Renji, Kenpachi, Toshiro and Ichigo

5. OTP

The only one i really ship him with is Nanao. Hisana is kind of “it’s canon and i’m fine with it.” I haven’t seen enough of her to form an opinion about the ship, but it’s obvious how much Bya loved her and it’s so sweet.

6. NOTP

Okay, i have never mentioned this before since i know many of my followers/mutuals ship them. Renji. The only ship I. Can't. Stand.

Like, platonically? Yes, they're bros. But romantically or especially sexually? No. Fuck no.

I don't care if you ship them, good for you, but please tag the stuff so it gets filtered.

7. Random headcanon

He sleeptalks a lot. And it's not mumbling, he talks the same way as when he's awake but it's absolute nonsense.

Byakuya, asleep: Do not eat the drawer.

Hisana, awake: *watches him in utter confusion*

Byakuya, still asleep: Give him a pink tricycle.

Hisana: To whom?

Byakuya: Head captain Yamamoto

Hisana: *trying not to laugh*

Another hc that i have is that he is a closet metalhead and likes especially power- and symphonic metal (this might sound very weird if you know nothing about this kind of music lol)

8. Unpopular opinion

His actions in the soul society arc were understandable. He was put between the bark and the tree (i hope you get what i mean) and had to choose from just letting things happen and going against central 46 and all of soul society (or at least that’s what he thought). Also the line he said to Ukitake, which is still easily in top5 most asshole things he has said/done, in my opinion shows what he thought of Rukia’s execution and why he didn’t do anything to prevent it. “Once you’ve let one of your people die.. ...two or three more make no difference.” Both of his parents are dead, Hisana is dead, Ginrei is most likely dead and he thought for 100 years that Yoruichi was dead too. I think Byakuya thought losing one more person he cares about couldn’t hurt more than it already has and therefore didn’t think it was worth breaking the promise he made in his parents’ grave and trying to save her. And that fucking breaks my heart.

9. Song I associate with them

I have a 6h long playlist which I’m not gonna post. Can’t choose just one lol.

10. Favorite picture of them

*digs through nearly infinite pinterest board, tumblr and phone’s gallery*

This is (one of) my favorite manga panel(s) of him. I love how calm but powerful he looks. The lines representing the heavy spiritual pressure. Like an inescapable doom approaching (which indeed was the case). And for some reason i love it.

My favorite fanart, which i obviously can’t post since you can’t post others art so here’s the link: https://www.deviantart.com/keelerleah/art/Bleach-Byakuya-Looking-Back-127254804

and then one which I think is official art or at least an edit of it, if I’m wrong please lmk

#long post #sorry this took 2 and half eternities to complete #bleach #kaname tosen #byakuya kuchiki #ask game

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alcalexandria · 4 years ago

Text

TDF Stuff I'm working on rn.

Just laying out TDF/Dani x Grace stuff I've done and am working on when I have time/energy/motivation, mostly for my own benefit.

(Here's a Dani x Grace fic rec list to keep you going in the mean time, though it could use an update!)

I can't make any promises on when any of this might actually wind up being done, this is really just a rough post-it note for my brain, but any pointers on any of the art or AV stuff are more than welcome.

Stuff That's Done!

- A full collated master post about whether Dani & Grace may actually have been planned as a canon couple + gifs. Status: Complete, here!

- Essay post about Sarah's importance in the Terminator Universe + gifs. Status: Complete, here!

- Essay post about Kyle vs Grace + gifs. Status: Complete, here!

- Rough list of dialogue used in teasers and trailers, but not the movie, just in case I need it. Status: Complete, here!

Stuff That's Still Ongoing!

- Giant canon-adjacent fic that won't end, Azimuth. (86k words). Status: Ongoing.

- Giant AU fic, unnamed as yet and currently in very early stages. (55k words scattered across like six different files, which reminds me, I need to back my shit up somewhere). Status: Ongoing.

- Find a downloadable (as opposed to streamable) Chinese cut file without subtitles. Status: Still searching.

- Continue gathering fanart and Manga/Manwha style stories of Grace and Dani and linking to it here (again, all contributions welcome, I love this stuff). Status: Ongoing, but some reblogged here under tag #tdf fanwork collection

- Make my own edit of the movie itself, as described in the previous post. (Note - See here for more detail on that: https://alcalexandria.tumblr.com/post/653841291038359552/release-the-tumblr-weirdo-cut). Status: On hold, but ongoing - need to upgrade laptop.

- Commission some more fanart. I just frickin' like it, I think the character design is great and lends itself so well to graphic art it would kill me not to see more of it. And Tumblr's got so many artists who could do fantastic things with the characters and world elements. Status: 3 done (Papurrcat, Axyrinic, Hattersarts), 2 arranged, and on the look out for artist recs!

#Terminator Franchise #TDF #Terminator Dark Fate #Dark Fate #Dani x Grace #Grace x Dani #Dani Ramos #Grace Harper #Sarah Connor

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wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey · 5 years ago

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MONICA YOU LOVED MANIC TOO??!?!? I'm overjoyed because I've only spoken to one (1) other person who really loved it & I feel so relieved, somehow, that you love it since you're the BEST OF US and what YOU love always gets right to the heart of a thing or a story. ANYWAY. Finally // and I Hate Everybody are my absolute favorites, and don't you think this album is like Ashley's version of Lover??? it's her most honest, and maybe lowest but also sweetest and steadiest album. I'M IN LOVE

YES YES YES YES YES I AM SOOO EXCITED YOU LOVE IT WILL YOU BE MY MANIC BUDDY *SINGS IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND WHO LOVES HALSEY*

also thank you sincerely and seriously so much for the glowing shoutout

#WONDER WOMAN SPEAKS MY HEART AND ALSO THIS IS SURPRISINGLY (?) RELEVANT TO THE ONCOMING STORM OF AN ESSAY

before I go any further I want to inform you I am drinking hot chocolate and Bailey’s out of my Batman/Catwoman mug and I still have Christmas lights up. This is not relevant to the following essay but I just thought you should know

I should start the essay shouldn’t I

First of all, I LOVE what you say about this being Ashley’s version of Lover. Both are a...finding of self, more or less complete. This isn’t to say that Taylor’s journey is over—she still has a lot of life and song left to fight through and to enjoy—but by the last words of “Daylight,” it seems to me that through all her struggles, she has finally discovered how to be gentle with herself and how to light her world.

I want to be defined by the things I love,

Not the things I hate

Not the things I am afraid of, I’m afraid of,

The things that haunt me in the middle of the

night, I

I just think that you are what you love.

In Lover, through Lover, by Lover, Taylor is whole again in her soul, and being thus whole and free, her future is quietly hopeful—even in the reality of the sorrowful “Soon You’ll Get Better” (which I still cannot listen to because it wounds my heart). I cannot imagine what she will do next, for she has the most expansive possibilities ahead of her.

Going back to Ashley, or Halsey, well, I can say nothing so clear about Manic other than that it aches. It aches because the whole thing is a confession. It is a spilling out of herself, all her hurts and frustrations and failures and most importantly the confusion of it all that lasts till this day and may last many more. Somehow, somewhere, in all this mess, I feel that by the end of the album, Ashley has found a grain of peace. She is still searching, still longing for things she maybe doesn’t even understand, but she understands herself, and, I hope, understands in a small way that it is okay to be in a state of longing and aching and messing up and trying again.

I’m sleepy so I’m not sure I am being coherent or cohesive, forgive me. I’m just going to say a few things about my favorite songs!

“Ashley.” So this wasn’t the first song I listened to, because of the singles released earlier. But how powerful is it that Halsey opens up with her name? There is nothing I like better than an album that tells a story (surprise!) and the instant I saw the track listing, I was shook.

Seems like now it's impossible to work this outI'm so committed to an old ghost townIs it really that strange if I always wanna change?And if only the time and space between us wasn't lonelyI'd disintegrate into a thousand piecesI think I'm making a mistakeBut if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?

This verse—I don’t know if it is just where I am in my own life, but really, who hasn’t felt this strange rending of desires in some capacity. Cling to the past? Leap toward the unknown? I want to live near my parents forever, and see my mom every Sunday like I have for years now. I want to live in a foreign country, or even out near my old college, or heck even live in a city for year or six months, just because it would be an Experience. (Couldn’t live there indefinitely, not this girl who loves endless trees and hills and warm summer night country roads and rustling corn.)

How do we know what to do? How do we decide? What if we get left alone, with no one to comfort and support us? What if we cannot handle the consequences of our choices?

Apart from my beating heartIt's a muscle but it's still not strong enoughTo carry the weight of the choices I've madeI told you I'd ride this outIt's getting harder every day somehowI'm bursting out of myself

LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT IT! I DARE YOU TO SAY THIS IS NOT A UNIVERSAL EMOTION. THIS IS WHAT THE ALBUM WILL BE ABOUT SO IF YOU CANNOT OPEN YOUR HEART AND BE PREPARED TO FEEL EMPATHY AND COMPASSION FOR THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO IS ABOUT TO SPILL HER GUTS TO YOU THEN GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

Ahem, I’m sorry, please stay, I don’t actually want you to go. Just sit down and I’ll give you your own hot chocolate. But listen. Ashley is, before anything, a human being. Therefore, she is going to mess up, just the same as any of us, maybe more, maybe less, but that is never going to take away a speck of her intrinsic worth, or the way that God loves her. Her struggles will not obliterate her humanity, but if I ignore her sorrows, her need for something more, her brilliance and strength and longing to love, then I would nigh obliterate my own.

Also, can I just say she has gone through some REALLY hard things in her life, things I couldn’t imagine, and for her to be where she is now—I just want the best for her. Do I agree with everything she does or believes? No. Is my life at all similar to hers? Not really. But I still feel a kinship with her, and it bleeds through in her music.

This is getting away from me isn’t it. I’m just trying to say that Manic struck a chord in my heart that has been reverberating ever since I first perceived it.

Oh gosh it is 12:30, I have to be up at 6. I’m going to fly through a few other songs and then you can message me about the rest or something 😊

“Clementine” has such color, doesn’t it? Also the line about her wondering what it’s like to be the blood in her veins—I love it!

“Graveyard” with the thing you love the most being the detriment—not going to lie, this is a story song for me, it fits into the Gold Rush Silmarillion AU I am co-authoring. Feanor and his own pride, Maedhros and half the people he loves, Fingon and Maedhros—the list could go on.

“You should be sad” and “More” gutted me because I had only just learned she has endometriosis, and has experienced a miscarriage before.

“Forever...(is a long time)”:

It's a nice surprise knowing six feet highWould reach and grab the moon if I should ask

Or just imply that I want you to be more lightSo I could look inside his eyesAnd get the colors just right

And

What am I thinking? What does this mean?How could somebody ever love me?

Self-doubt and questioning one’s ability to be loved ☹

“Without Me” gets stuck in my head and I LOVE IT I SING IT.

Found you when your heart was brokeI filled your cup until it overflowedTook it so far to keep you close (Keep you close)I was afraid to leave you on your own

Is there anything more painful than giving all of yourself to someone, loving them so much that you do anything to help them heal—and then all they do is hurt you.

“Finally// beautiful stranger” I’m ashamed to say the first time I listened to it I wasn’t paying attention and so I was like eh it’s fine. THEN I LISTENED TO IT AGAIN. WHY IS THIS SONG HALSEY’S “ENCHANTED” (I can probably explain this, but just after I’ve had sleep)

“killing boys” there are a lot of things I could say about this song but the main thing I want to say is if there was a song that is ME regarding the sound of it only, it is this one. When she sings “you don’t need me anymore” and “I don’t need you anymore” OOH IT GETS ME IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

Also

Told me pick my battles and be picking 'em wiseBut I wanna pick 'em all and I don't want to decideNo more, no more, anymore

THIS IS THAT TUMBLR THING “MY MOM LIKES TO TELL ME ‘YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES’ WELL I’M FULL OF RAGE AND I’M PICKING ALL OF THEM”

ALSO ALSO GETTING INTO THE LYRICS THIS IS HER MOVING ON, THIS IS HER DECISIVELY SAYING NO THIS NOT RIGHT THIS IS HARMFUL TO ME I AM DONE. AND FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS EXPRESSED UNCERTAINTY AND DIFFICULTY MAKING DECISIONS, IT SO GOOD TO SEE HER MAKE A HEALTHY CHOICE FOR HERSELF

“Suga’s Interlude:” LOOK YOU LOVE BTS TOO SO I’M SURE YOU KNOW THE STORY OF HOW IT CAME TO BE AND YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT BTS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH HALSEY BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE READERS LET ME SUM UP

Halsey did a collaboration with BTS called “Boy with Luv” and it shook the charts and is wonderful and I love it. Not only did they create that song though, but she flew out to South Korea and learned the dance choreography so that she could sing and dance in the song’s music video. This was the beginning of a beautiful, cross-language, cross-cultural friendship that has involved friendship bracelets, churros, a personalized microphone, and mutual teasing.

Anyway, Halsey had been really impressed with BTS member Suga, saying “Yoongi is really introspective and has this really intelligent perspective on where we are and what we are doing in our unique lifestyles.” She also was moved by the hard work and sacrifices he (and his fellow band members) have made. Anyway, she asked Suga to write and sing a song with her. He was initially surprised, saying that he can’t rap in English. Halsey, gem that she is, was like bro, pls rap in Korean, that would be awesome. Pardon me for copying half the lyrics for this song but to me it is pivotal in Manic as a whole:

I’ve been trying all my lifeTo separate the timeIn between the having it allAnd giving it up, yeah...

Here is the conflict and strife that Halsey has dealt with all her life—there is fear of loss there, and also fear of what one has. The power it has over you. The way things might go wrong.

I believe your faith, efforts, beliefs, and greed,are not hideous...Although the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest,Never forget that the stars that you wish for,can only rise within the dark...

Suga reminding himself, Halsey, and us to cling to hope, ragged and worn, even in the most difficult of times. Also—in the face of our insecurities and self-recrimination for the goals we set—he tell us that our deepest parts are valid

If I run endlessly towards the end of the tunnel,what will there beIt’s true, it’s honestly differentfrom the future that I had hoped forBut it doesn’t matter, now it’s a matter of living/survivingIt doesn’t matter what happenedYeah yeah it might bedifferent from the things that you expectedYour living and your loving might changeThat’s true That’s true That’s trueYeah so are you gonna moveWe’re still too youthful and young to hesitateLet’s face it (our lives)...

This, this verse is so important. Look back at the song “Ashley”, particularly the lines I already quoted. Indecision because the fear of what might be, of what failure could do, wrecking her worse than ever, with no one to help her. Indecision because of a nostalgia that might be bitter or softly sad, what was past was at least known. It was good perhaps, it was awful more likely. But it was gotten through. There is no guarantee that Halsey will be able to get through whatever the future holds. But Suga comes in here, having faced struggles similar at their core, and he embodies the Nike slogan. Just DO IT. Don’t hold yourself back. Don’t let yourself drown, stuck in sinking mud. Embrace the unknown. If you let fear hold you back, you are as good as dead. There will be no growth, no hope battling through the dark for something better. You have to MOVE! And maybe you were right, things will never be the same, or the way you want it to be, but MAYBE THE DIFFERENT WILL BE BETTER!!!

Anyway, this section really should have been its own essay, because I’m still not done with it. You may have noticed I have been calling them Halsey and Suga, and the song is indeed called “Suga’s Interlude” but this song is so deep and personal to them both, it feels wrong to use their stage names. This is Ashley speaking, this is Yoongi speaking. Halsey posted a cute, stick figure drawing as artwork for the song, and the two singers are pictured there—and named as Ashley and Yoongi. This song is not just a collaboration by two talented artists, this is a look into the souls of a woman and a man who’ve shed blood, sweat, and tears to become the people they are. This intimacy fits the whole theme of the album so well, I LITERALLY CANNOT

I am so sorry I will move on now. It is 2:00 am. I need to go to bed. I am not. I need to talk about 929.

Well first let me say that “Still Learning” is also super important to the theme of the album.

I know that I've done some wrongBut I'm trying to make it rightDid the one I love do me wrong?Give me up right now

I know that I love you but I'm still learningTo love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)

She has made confessions and declarations and sung her frustration, and now she is moving forward. The road may be long and hard, but she is moving forward. I had something else to say but I forgot it sorry.

And NOW

929!!!!

This song miiiiight be my favorite on the album, not sure. My heart trembles and I get chills listening to it, because the music and her voice are so gentle and soothing but the lyrics are essentially a list of moments that have been needles and knives to Ashley, all her fears revealed, that she wasn’t enough then and she isn’t enough now, that the girl with the pink hair lied when she said that everyone needed Ashley. It’s a soft confession, a stream of consciousness, so it was written and so I hear it. And in this moment, how can I not love her? How can I not cry for her, for me, for anyone and everyone who struggles with self-worth, with being wanted, with being loved, with loving, with forgiving self and others?Halsey is flawed, and I just want to give her extra love because of that.

But you know what? I think she is going to be ok.

This is where I want to go back and compare Manic to Lover. There is this knowledge of the self, a kind of peace with who one is. I don’t mean that either Taylor or Ashley have reached their pinnacle of self, but they see themselves a little more clearly, and are not suppressing that knowledge.

929 sounds like water gently pouring out of a pitcher into a basin, and water, properly placed, does not drown but gives life. There is hope by the end of this song, hope despite her difficult life, hope despite the fact that she was never even telling the truth about her time of birth. (That story could be a despairing one, the “I’m a fucking liar” could be the miniscule mistake that breaks her after all the rest of her mistakes, but instead...I don’t know she just sounds kind of amused, like even if she is disappointed or upset about it, there is still this “oh well, whatever, can’t believe that happened lol” to her voice and laughter. She knows who she is now, and there is a better woman she might be, but she is not angry with herself for being who she is, and she will move forward, letting go of her ghost towns and all her fears.

Let me end with a quote about 929: “I just start spilling all of my thoughts about myself and my fans and my family, and I admit so many faults and flaws all in one go. It’s forgiving, however, it ends with the acknowledgment that I am learning and growing, minute by minute.”

Ashley, like Taylor, is making a new start. They have both found a sort of daylight, and though there may always be shadows, I really really hope that they will know mostly sun, and spread it around for others.

ALSO I JUST REALIZED I COULD NOW BE SOMEONE’S MANIC PIXIE DREAMGIRL :D

*Disclaimer: I AM SO FREAKING TIRED I AM GOING TO BED, THIS WHOLE THING IS ENTIRELY UNEDITED, ALSO I LEFT SOME SONGS OUT OOPS WELL TWO OF THEM I DON’T CARE FOR AS MUCH BUT I THINK I FORGOT 3 AM WHICH I DO LIKE BUT I AM NOT GOING BACK TO WRITE ABOUT IT NOW. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE RAMBLING MESS AND LACK OF ELOQUENCE BUT HERE WE BE THIS IS WHAT YOU GET HOPE IT MADE YOU SMILE

#halsey #manic #taylor swift #lover #madamescarlette #eden you know I will want to hear your thoughts #which will be so much more well-written then mine lol #asks #<3 <3 <3

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kyunsies · 4 years ago

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hi mädch tis 🌱 anon again :)) how are you? i'm writing this during a break between classes

LOL yeah sometimes i think mbb twt is a headache but i haven't engaged w stan twt in a while,, usually i follow translators, fansites and cc's so my experience on kpoptwt is v diff from the typical stan twt user,, drama makes my head ache and i use the mute button a LOT haha. aside from that being on twt+tumblr is p chill despite it being kinda lonely cause i don't have a lot of mbb friends irl+online (most irl kpop stan friends are arm*es haha) so i send stuff to a close friend that puts up w me :')) (+ @changkyun show us your face you cryptic)

long haired changkyun my beloved <3 but also his red hair was so so cute :( it might be my favourite "non-natural" colour on him,, but black/natural is superior. i think that hair definitely makes a difference in your appearance + ur vibes. esp w hyungwon his long hair gave him this mysterious + enigmatic vibe and when he cut it the bread cheeks were more pronounced,, soft bean

it does feel kind of good to be done w high school!! esp cause i feel like this year was especially long. i had intense courseloads at the beginning and end (so the middle was kinda chill) but i finished the ib without having to do exams so i'm forever thankful for that :'))) i have definitely felt very stressed at times during hs. and i agree!! the expectations in high school are quite unrealistic, and w the pandemic it's really easy to feel overwhelmed and burnt out all the time. it didn't help that the program i was in was pretty rigourous/intense. absolutely no time for myself unless i was procrastinating,, which i did a lot. very much looking forward to some sort of fresh start in uni though, even if i think my first year is gonna be stressful (STEM major ahah). @ the uni i chose, the first year is "designed" to weed ppl out,, if that makes sense. that being said, v much looking forward to the summer because i will FINALLY have time to do whatever i want and not have to focus on a math essay like last year T^T.

and for the ask game, let's do chungha! idk much abt her but i really liked the song she did w rich brian (88rising - these nights)

hi sweetheart 💖💖💖 sorry i’m late to this bubbie i saw it right away but i wanted to give u a well thought out response when work was done so i’m done for the day now :)

yeah seriously like i don’t mean to be a twt hater all the time but that app literally gives me the sh*ts when i go on there MFNJFF i get so anxious going on there :( i literally only follow like 20 ppl on there and honestly i might start unfollowing again HHH my twt is such a flop i just rt and bookmark things 🥲 but i also really relate to the second part babe tumblr tho it’s really chill and i love it, it does get quite lonely at times :( but i want u to know thag this place will always be a home to you and u can talk to me whenever you’d like okay !!!!!

also YES :((((( i don’t think my manifesting is working ….. really thought he was going to drop the selca today :( but !!!! i still have hope hehe i have a feeling it’s coming soon !!! 🥺 i also really liked his red hair too i think it was a really good look for him, i also adored his purple hair for fantasia era too 💖 wish he had it for longer !!! his undercut for Fantasia era was soooo pretty :( but ……. i kinda wanna see what he would look like with blonde hair again KDNKDJD i know ppl think he would look “dirty/unkept” with blonde hair but i would like to at least see it ONE MORE TIME LOLOLOL <3 i do think his black hair is absolutely superior too tho :)

i’m sure it feels so nice to be done hun !!! i’m so proud of you 🥺 high school was v tiring for me bc i pushed myself to take rigorous classes and then my sport had me out until about 7/8pm every night so it was just so hard to get my hw done at a reasonable time :( but especially with the field you’re going in stem it’s really tough … but you can do it !!!! you’ll find your grove <3 and i feel the whole weening ppl out tho, bc i’m a nursing major our uni’s policy is that if you have anything below a B (80%) in your nursing classes you get kicked out so i’m always stressed about my grades 😭 you will be fine, okay?

AND SKDJJD OKAY !!! miss chungha my queen <3

chungha

my first impression of her : diva 👀 KNDJD i wasn’t sure about her she looked really scary but my first ever song i heard was snapping and i LOVED it !!!!

what i think her best era was : either gotta go or the era with her pre-release (stay tonight + play!!)

what i love about her : she is unlike any other female soloist !!!! her dancing is u matched truly she can be dainty but her down too she’s incredible … she’s a huddled !!! the gal never rests KDJKD and her voice is absolutely stunning 🥺

#asks #🌱 anon #so so sorry this is late bubbie but i wanted to give u a nice response !!!!! i hope you’re having a good day <3

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mytearsricoshay · 7 years ago

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Hi! I've been following you for a while and didn't realize you were such a passionate Taylor Swift fan until the release of the new song. Sorry if this is weird, but could I ask why you like her so much? I loved her when I was younger and enjoy a lot of her more recent songs, but I'm probably not what you'd call a swifty. I'm just curious, sorry if it's a weird question! Really love your blog by the way!

Hey there! That’s not a weird question at all, I know my overload of Taylor Swift feels probably came out of nowhere so it might come as a shock to some of my followers just how big of a fan I actually am but….what can I say. That shit’s been building up for three years, fam.

Anyways I’m not really sure how to answer this??? Like I love her with all my heart but I’ve never really had to think about why I do so I’m gonna try and break it down, I guess??

Musically, she’s one of the most talented songwriters in the business. I don’t agree with people who say she can’t sing - obviously - but there are a lot more powerful voices out there that can easily outshine her. In terms of her lyrics though, she’s unparalleled. And I know it’s easy to pull up lyrics from Shake it Off or Bad Blood or the chorus of Look What You Made Me Do to try and discredit her, but those are singles. They’re made to be earworms whose entire purpose is to garner attention and stick in peoples heads - and they do their job well. But they don’t even come close to the type of lyrics she’s capable of producing.

But if you’ve ever listened to her music beyond singles made for radio play you’ll find a lyrical genius who - cliche as it sounds - has a talent for making listeners feel what she feels. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood up and screamed the lyrics to All too Well or Last Kiss or The Last Time with real tears in my eyes despite never having gone through any sort of breakup myself. I can barely listen to Dear John without feeling blinding anger that she was emotionally abused and taken advantage of like that at such a young age. Maybe I’m just an overly empathetic person but I can feel her pain through her lyrics and it just…speaks to me. And it’s not just her ballads either. Even a song like Look What You Made Me Do has lyrics that make me feel for her (I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me no bby I trust u w/my life pls don’t say that).

Beyond that, her songs that aren’t lyrical masterpieces are still good and catchy and fun and there’s not a song by her that I don’t thoroughly enjoy listening to. Her music makes me happy and that’s all there really is to it. Even back when I hated her I still loved her music haha.

Taylor as a person….there’s just so many reasons to love her. Yes, she’s a Queen who dominates the industry and destroys the charts and the sales and all that good shit. But that’s not why I love her. For starters, I’ve never been a fan of a celebrity who cares about their fans as much as she does. She invites fans to her house to get an exclusive listening of her new album. She unfollows everyone including her own brother and erases all of her social media right down to her MySpace but doesn’t unfollow her fans on tumblr.

She’s extremely generous, and critics can say it’s just an act and she’s fake or whatever all they like. I don’t believe that, but even if I did, she’s donating to charities and giving money to a fellow woman struggling with legal fees and writing a heartfelt song to a little boy who died of cancer and at that point who honestly cares why it’s being done? She’s doing good things and all anyone ever focuses on is the why.

She’s kind and genuine (as told by…pretty much everyone who actually knows her) but for all her softness she’s also learned to stand up for herself (or “play the victim” as assholes like to put it). As she’s put it she got harder over the years and now she’s done letting people step all over her and I just think that’s a really important message to send to the young girls in her audience who are generally taught that anger is unladylike??? That you can still be good and kind but not put up with people who try to bring you down. You can get angry. Asshole sues her after sexually assaulting her? Get rekt fucker. Haters twist her image and take everything she says and does as fodder to demonize her? Prepare to get dragged asshats. She’s the walking embodiment of “Do no harm but take no shit.”

She’s also extremely smart and clever. She’s a force to be reckoned with based on her brilliant mind alone.And that’s something that I don’t think even her haters would try denying. Whether you think she’s a Cersei or a Sansa you just know that she’s incredibly shrewd and quick-witted.

Do I wish she were a better feminist? Of course I do. That’s something I wish for pretty much every celebrity I stan, but she’s learning. She’s specifically stated that she doesn’t like talking politics and that’s her right. I wish that weren’t the case as a queer latina fan but I’m not going to drag her through the mud for something she might believe, especially not when her tweets about the women’s march in January and Charleston point to that definitely not being the case. That doesn’t mean I don’t hope that someday soon she becomes more outspoken about issues outside of “just” sexism y’know? As someone who deeply and wholeheartedly believes in intersectional feminism I don’t think that hope will ever truly go away.

I’m getting off topic though. I’m hoping this massive essay answered your question as to why I love my lord and savior Taylor Alison Swift. If you made it through the whole thing then God bless you, if you didn’t here’s a TL;DR for you: Her music makes me feel things and she’s a genuinely good person. The End

#taylor swift #reputation #look what you made me do #ask #anon #i'm sorry anon u didn't ask for this shit #i just have a lot of taylor swift feels okay #im sorry #but thank u!!!#Anonymous

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