#might private later who knows
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universal healthcare is not broken and anyone trying to convince you it is is delusional and a dckrider for big health insurance. yes there are wait times but waiting for care is Not the same as being denied care.
in america your physician prescribes care and an insurer can still cuck you out of it because someone across the continent who has never met you can say: doesn’t seem medically necessary. Leaving you to handle a bill that is wildly inflated by the same insurers that just denied you.
let me drill it through your head you can pay thousands a year in premiums and still end up sick and financially burdened for years by One incident. no insurance company is Avoiding going broke by denying claims. theyre doing it to profit off your misfortune and your illness. Because healthcare fundamentally does not cost the amount that they claim it to be.
#delete later#out of pocket rant#i hate these god awful takes on universal health care#and i hate this oh he killed a father#how many fathers do you think uhc let die be real with me#oh 8 billion is only 6% profit margin#bitch it could be 2 percent it could be a negative loss#this is me saying oh i resold a shoe for $60 after buying it for $50 when i also made it for 80 cents#i have been denied things like chest xrays and lung exams#i btw have had a chronic cough for 4+ years#in canada i got this done on the same fking day and results back within a month#there are indeed horror stories and on both sides of know ppl who died due to delayed diagnosis#and ppl who died bc they didnt even want the diagnosis it would have cost them too much#but robbing someone of the choice in my opinion is the worse of the two#putting someone in an impossible position like that is evil#this country love god so much better start praying u stay healthy bc thats the most important thing#also like those horror stories of wait times in the er#im gonna be real if u have severe stomach pain are actively bleeding heart attack or stroke#you will be seen asap#yes if unfortunately everyone around u that day decided to have a stroke or heart attack ur appendicitis will be punted down the line#this is a resource issue NOT a cost issue#this is a they also cut funding to nursing school and limited the number of ppl who can pursue medical degrees issue#not a we dont have privatized health care issue#bc ultimately u need a doctor to see u#not someones sister who is taking stabs at it#and every doctor is bound by the concept of time???#u still have to wait in america ur Charged for it also#and yall it doesn’t even have to be a Big incident#ur local urgent care might just be closed after 8pm and at 9pm u need stitches#or have severe stomach pains and just want it checked
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I'll never understand why the TOH crew changed Luz getting bullied for her weirdness that's not actually hurting anybody in the pilot to her being an actual menace who's usually not properly called out for her bullshit because she's just misunderstood
#My post#TOH Critical#I might private this later but I'm feeling salty right now lmao-#Luz's chaarcter just feels so all over the damn place like they don't know what do with her#If they want her to be someone who has her head stuck in the clouds and needs a reality check or just a misunderstood kid#If they really wanted to go the “All I ever wanted was to be understood” route maybe don't have her bring fireworks to school for the lols#Or just have it be she was so desperate to be understood and beloved by her peers it ended up backfiring#Rather than acting like “oh you don't need to change-”#Also she does a lot of selfish actions for the sake of her fantasy ideals#And sometimes it's called out [Wing It Like Witches & Witches Before Wizards] but other times it's rewarded [Understanding Willow]#I just don't know why Luz is so inconsistent in the final cut when they had the perfect set up for her personality in the pilot
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uh oh. I was trying to sate my ISAT hyperfixation by just reading fics and looking at art and NOT coming up with a story to write myself and it was working because I had no ideas that felt compelling AND unique but I just came up with one. no. oh no plz not when I have other things to write I can't keep doing this no plz-
#Refuse to say anything at all on here#Because the idea of ANYONE seeing spoilers ever petrifies me#REMINDER AGAIN TO MY FOLLOWERBASE TO PLZ PLZ GO PLAY ISAT OK PLZ#But I genuinely might start plotting it out kajsefkasf#It's one of those 'party loops with sif' things but#With a twist#A very specific twist#To torture siffrin and give them therapy at the same time#Depends#Idk#But now I've thought of it and thus cannot rid myself of the thought#Delete later#If asked I will answer privately. Because I know there's for some reason a lot of people who like my writing#And thus would be willing to hear a pitch if I had one to give#Too Close AU
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Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again
#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but#i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries#and it just made me miss it so much#+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore#like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that#but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too#so i'm kind of at a loss here#tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up#i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right#i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries#that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way#aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that#also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while#like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that#but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut#ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there#do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me#and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here#that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this#longing feeling to start again lol#hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows
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#guys did we forget that the assassination suspect is no more confirmed as the shooter than he was when he was taken into custody#i know that everyone has been talking about him like he's for sure the guy ever since then. which he might be.#but for now he is a private citizen who hasn't even been charged with anything by our bullshit fake justice system.#if you were skeptical before you should still be skeptical. nothing has changed in that regard there's just more funny memes about him.#delete later
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the urge to starve for this week because I'm visiting my grandma on Sunday who always has to comment on my weight and I've gained since last I saw her
queue incoherent screeching /neg
warning big vent in tags
#I have starved in months - I've been healthy enough but I'm back to skipping meals again because of this fucking grandma who my whole family#says is great when I just can't stand her-#she always talks about my weight - she has called trans men just ashamed lesbians - she has called trans people “disgusting (insert t-slur)#I am so fucking sick of her I have given her so many chances but she's out of chances I don't trust her a bit#mom asks why I don't trust her ffs she told me about a family members ED who 1 probably didn't want her worst moments to be spread around#2 I didn't ask nor did I want to know and it feels like a huge invasion of privacy- why would I tell her anything when she so willingly tol#others such private information#she's nice but omfg I can't stand her#I don't get sarcasm or 'jokes' very often and I have told her that I don't and she still makes 'jokes' that I don't get and just make me fe#like shit- I am so not excited for sunday I just don't want to go I'm hoping I get sicker and sicker to the point I won't be able to go#I fucking hate this I hate myself and I hate her#I don't want to starve but I fucking dread being told I at last look 'healthy' and 'normal' again#after being told for 2 years that I look thin and that I need to eat more (I hate those comments too I just don't like acknowledging#that I've gotten better that I've gained weight)#HEHJWWJWJWJWKWENENW /neg#cw vent#tw ed#tagging for vamp#< eating disorder#tw transphobes#heaven doesn't want me and hell fears me#might delete later idk
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This post is not an invitation for sinophobia piss off
God hanfu spaces can be so vile 💀 using 'manchu' and 'dog' so interchangeably is crazy, reason 10339405060 why I never look into the comments of Twitter posts abt hanfu
#diary#hater tag#stop oppression complexing we've been at the bottom of the hierarchy for a century and were at the bottom before qing as well#i try to keep this in private but you can only see ur ppl called so many slurs before getting irritated#also han women continued wearing hanfu into qing+ hanfu is better preserved than many ethnic minority clothing histories but whatever#i dont want to incite sinophobia but if i have to see 1 more person pretending theyre so kind for treating us minorities so fucking well#lol#as someone w plenty of experience of racism both back home in the mommyland and in c*nada#oh my god lol i keep quiet and struggle against sinophobia as much as i can but it feels like im defending ppl who see me as dirt sometimes#my tags have spiraled and arent rlly abt manchu anymore ngl 😨 my worst experiences at home have been wrt being hui and muslim lolol#since manchu are sinicized basically only terminally online pplare haters#anyways i might delete this later but ive kept quiet as much as i can for a long time and its getting frustrating#also hui and manchu are aggressively sinicized so the way i know less sinicized minorities have it even worse than my familyand i lol
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I FIGURED IT OUT
#it was so simple and I’m such an idiot#I know why it was bothering me and it’s nothing confusing or earth shattering#I was way over complicating things#like this doesn’t solve it but it does make dealing with it a WHOLE lot easier#just had to have a crisis about it for a few days before I figured it out#still not having a great time but definitely less stressed about this now#also not feeling like a bad person about it anymore#okay done with the vague posting#(for now)#(there will likely be more as I process but like)#(this means I can stop dissecting my emotions)#(it truly was not that deep)#personal#delete later#perhaps#this one might stay up who knows#vague posting sega#also i don’t delete these i just make them private so i can come back years later and go:#‘wtf was i on about this time?’#and pretend my future (at that point present) ass isn’t as dramatic as past (now current) me
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bringing both jack and shitboy to randoland is such a fucked up thought that ive definitely not pondered over a million times. aknowledging the horrible bond they got or just that they know eachother in canon feels so fucked up.it's kind of a 'you dragged me into this' situation i dont know if thats fitting. both of them say things that contradict stuff in their conversation so i always think about the possible process that went there, jack realizing garths porn isnt what he needs and garth possibly succumbing to a 'if you cant beat them join them' mindset by choosing to draw buddy(he would probably think he can do a better job and add his own touch to it to the point it looks like a weird creature that isnt buddy anymor) (i have many interpretaions of this thing he couldve also lied to intimidate jack but would believing garth make this situation better? no so who gives af) not to mentuon both of them having this deal where they feel left out because of the way things are now jack being left in the dark abt so much stuff he didnt get to know of and thinking hes missing out and garth not being given the attention he wants because others want is stuff that reminds them of women not his ugly deviantart fetish or thats how i see it. i dont thibk they could bond over this similarity though garth would just find a way to make it about himself again but it's so sad. stop projecting onto jack bro just wanted a burger and now hes killing people.you know this conversation sorta feels like a story that had already been told before we just hadnt seen the bits in between am i the only one who thinks that. and then after all that mess they die together, one of them watched the other die in front of them and who knows if they even felt anything
IM RAMBLING AGAIN IGNORE MEEEEEEE
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this is from june
#also funny how garth even starts reconsidering his whole self bc he likes brad or for whatever reason it is and jack is just like#uuuuhhhhhh Can i get aburger#i think thats just because he didnt get enough opportunities to get attached to brad#basically his life gets worse whenever brad intervenes#and i think he knows this deep down but doesnt fully aknowledge it#i might private this post later or no#guy who overthinks randoland 💚#lisa ramblings
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yay
#^VERY HAPPY RIGHT NOW. GETTING SHEET MUSIC FOR SONGS I WANT TO PLAY AND ONE OF TJE MEMBWRS WHO MADE THE SONGS IS GONNA TRY AND GET SOME -#- FOR ME.#i might private this post later thoigh since last time i was posting about something lkke this a friend said that it wasnt teally -#appropriate#i just dont know where else to share this. disintegrates#original posts
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And more thing, Rachel House (Mary Read on OFMD) has signed a letter of NZ/Aotearoa calling for a cease fire and I wouldn’t assume she’s the only cast member (besides Darby) who has done likewise/similar. Please please please do not spread misinformation
guys i'm so so sorry for saying that the whole ofmd cast is complicit it turns out that a minor character who was in like 3 episodes actually signed one whole letter!! obviously this excuses both creators (waititi & jenkins) and a huge chunk of the cast from being zionist fucktards currently cheering for genocide. everyone go back to business as usual!!!
#i mean good for rachel house but come on man 😭#can u not see how irrelevant that is when the main people of the show have made their stances so abundantly clear#whatever helps assuade ur guilt ig but I KNOW ur not getting ur knickers in a twist over a tv show when 12000 children have been killed#actually the fact that ur more outraged that i made a slightly incorrect blanket statement than idk the GENOCIDE is telling#you disgust me#your priorities in times such as these disgust me#i hope when u look back on this and think hey what was i doing during the gaza genocide ur forced to confront the fact that#all u were doing was defending zionist shitbags on tumblr.com so you could keep watching a mediocre tv show without guilt#get a damn grip#anyone who hasnt publically and loudly called for an immediate and permanent ceasefire and a free palestine is complicit in this#and no. a single offhand statement at a private stand up show doesn't count#especially when stacked against all the other zionist shit he's done might make a post about that later but honestly mate you don't have to#look far#if hes not gonna properly call for a ceasefire and free palestine (THE FUCKING MINIMUM BTW) and not gonna speak out against waititi & co#then he can go fuck himself#also turn off anon if you actually want to talk#im happy to have a conversation#but please please please get a moral compass and some priorities#palestine#gaza#israel#free palestine#ofmd#our flag means death#taika waititi#rhys darby#david jenkins#zionism
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For panel of the funeral, I think the guy behind the flowers on the coffin might be Asa? The head shape and face markings fit, and it'd be fitting for him to be there directly opposite Mitzi.
oh word, this guy, right?
didn't spot that, i think you're right....ft. what i believe is asa's first appearance otherwise, for comparison:
design sure seems to match in structure and markings, even got the darker ears visible in the funeral pic. and definitely adding Placement relevance too like you say, to be standing opposite mitzi....with Maybe Mordecai between them.
#lackadaisy#really pondering ''how's mordecai know so much abt atlas's death but now have room to question whether marigold Knows Shit / Was Involved''#like naturally it may not have been ''yeah mordecai shot him'' but then what was The Private Affair. who was there. who Did shoot him.#or; as theorized; maybe mordecai shot atlas But is now questioning The Reason he thought atlas had to be killed in the first place#whatever that reason is; also being a mystery....and where ''he also blames mitzi for the situation'' fits in too; as well as Why....#it's a standing invite if anyone wants to share any insights / noticed/questioned details#making a murder mystery party out of it. foulplay.live voice just have fun; that's what murder is all about#it's also fun b/c it's so character relevant around here. been a real mordecai rennaissance. what are your emotional motivations bestie....#re: asa at the funeral; like the shape of / around the eyes might be slightly different#but that's a smaller detail and the design could've changed some when that appearance was posted at least a real world year later#like how mordecai's head shape silhouette also has subtly more wave to it by then#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery
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me reveal i guess
#the mask is optional i just like drawing it#the shadowhead persona in a suit still exists this is just me irl#might private later might not who knows
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don't wanna vent in the tags of a post but you see EXACTLYYYYYY what's wrong with my parents and I's relationship
i explain and dissects how important exactly something is to me and ask them to measure its importance to them because i obviously can't know and decide for them
then they pick their competing preference and i go along with it until we've been there for way too long way too intensely or it's been happening way too many times or it's nothing like planned, and i can't handle it anymore and i flip out either right then and there or privately and then it comes up later when talking, and they say it actually wasn't very important to them they just either didn't think about it or assumed how important it was to me wrongly despite me explaining explicitly my point of view.
or they go for something i'm included in, and i'm there trying to be as unenthusiastic as possible without straight up closing that door, trying to propose alternatives that are easier for me, etc, and they're like mmh we're gonna go with our first idea btw. and i'm just stuck with it. and might freak out.
#it drives me insane sometimes#again: my mom didn't even think of performatively asking if i wanted to be alone when we went to see my grandma in the morgue#she'd already seen her while i was stuck doing my exams and she had offered to pick me up from school and go to the morgue#so i agreed obviously and it's helpful not to get lost on the way and to know what to ask the employees#so she was in the waiting room with me. normal. the guy opened the right door and she like came in with me. fucking weird but okay.#like yknow i figure it must be important to her then and i shut up even if it makes me really uncomfortable#it's my first time in my entire life seeing a dead body and my mom puts an arm around my shoulders and starts rocking side to side w me#like i'm some kind of meat puppet and squeezing my shoulder and pushing me into her side and it's so disgusting i think i might puke#i don't know what to do it's clearly extremely important to her and she's beyond thinking rationally i clearly have a job here#and i don't know what that job is i can't think about my grandma i can't treat the moment with respect or thoughtfulness i can only think#abt the disgusting arm around me#your first time mourning besides when you were 6yo & your first time seeing a dead body and nope#gotta pacify your mother while making full contact ankle-to-shoulder in the same room as a corpse (a long time childhood fear of yours)#so i shut up and i try to stay as still as possible and not to think abt anything and i don't cry about not getting a moment with my grandm#until later on alone in my room because yknow it was dogshit but it wasn't my mom's fault it was the emotion of the moment#and the burial could be schedules any time and the morgue has opening hours and i don't know if i'll get to go see her again#and like over a couple days i'm starting to be suspicious of my mom's motivations and also i'm feeling less and less okay abt that moment#and so i confront her and tell her i know it was important for her but it really hurt me she's like lol no i did it for your sake#and i'm like ????? you didn't even fucking ask???? why would you just follow someone into a private moment of contemplation#without even ASKING even if you thought you knew the answer already#and she was like well if it had been your uncle i think he wouldn't have wanted to go alone for example but y didn't you say anything#??? because it didn't cross my mind that it wasn't alone time esp since YOU went alone yesterday and once you were there i assumed it was#important to you and emotions beyond restricting like wtf i wasn't going to kick you out we weren't going to have a fight in front of grann#why didn't YOU ask me if i wanted to go alone or go together? you're the one who knows how this works it's the first death close to me#it did not cross my mind that going alone wouldn't be the default and especially it didn't cross my mind that whatever the default was#an older adult who knows professionally and personally how morgues work would pick for me without ASKING what i wanted#anyway yay for transparent communication and thoughtful evaluation of personal feelings against other people's#broadcasting my misery#vent
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#officially privating my pics#I don’t feel comfortable having them up anymore#I might put them back up later but who knows at this point#trauma and gender dysphoria is fucking weird#me#personal
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I genuinely get too nervous when something goes wrong in the sims. I need to do a really chaotic challenge to get out of my comfort zone
#i had a mod conflict that caused my sims to start autonomously putting food away (to use as leftovers) before other sims (who were hungry)#could eat it#it wasn’t much of a problem on residential lots but in college.. oh boy#at one point one of my sims was just standing next to the dorm chef chucking everything he’d made straight in the fridge#i was like girl are you prepping for the apocalypse?? that mac and cheese will not save you#it was more chaotic in shared housing though because the girls had to cook for themselves#and whenever i tried to have somebody serve a meal; one of the others would immediately appear to whisk the serving plate away#it was TOO much#so i removed the mods that were causing it and i’m thinking about also moving the girls off that lot because honestly it’s just not good#they keep flooding the shower room and then complaining and also for some reason everyone ignores the private bedrooms with double beds#in favour of boning down on the sofa. which is just TOO awkward for me#the composition of this household is two sisters and their respective girlfriends#so at one point one couple was banging on the couch; the sister of one of them was like ‘this isn’t going to interrupt my workout’#and was doing press-ups right next to them??? and the fourth sim was just sitting in the armchair right next to them studying#i do find it really comical but it’s obvious that a change of living arrangements is necessary#the other thing that was happening was i kept getting this bizarre glitch where my sim would reset in the middle of an action#their whole queue would empty and they’d cease doing whatever they were doing. like completely. if they were painting; the painting#would disappear. if they’d just made a plate of spaghetti it was GONE#which obviously stressed me because i was like ‘if this happens when someone is starving they might not have time to feed themselves before#they straight up die.’ i took out a bunch of mods and eventually fixed it#i think i had a mod that was for a later expansion pack than i have. i only have the super collection so anything that’s made#for apartment life can’t be in my game#i swear i didn’t used to be this neurotic about my sims. i don’t know what happened#i need to do an isbi as a palette cleanser. get comfortable with chaos again#personal
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