#might post this on ao3 maybe

[moroneur]

okok, hear me out on this rottmnt leo x reader au idea guys i swear:

Rottmnt separated au where Leo (named Kappa) was raised as the next battle nexus champion n owner (in case anything happens to big mama) by big mama and he had to fight (literally and figuratively) for familial affection and peace his whole life. Then theres Reader who was abandoned by her parents the moment they found out about her ability to see into the future via dreams (which isnt as straightforward as it sounds- her visions span across multiple alternate timelines and they vary in time making it hard to understand and navigate), so they gave their small child to big mama (human version) and lil yn is forced to become a servant bc her powers are ultimately useless.

small yn is basically forced by the other employees to serve Leo bc none of em wanted to. Yn is scared and shy at first but then they kinda become friends (She even names him Leonardo bc its a very characteristic throughout her dreams and she thought it suit him) eventhough he has to hide it in public and pretend he doesnt gaf about the human because the other yokai would make fun of him and call him weak n pick on them. They basically grow up side by side, developing extreme loyalty to each other.

He's prissy and picky and an arrogant brat and hes possessive and caring and would protect yn with his entire being. He had to fight Big Mama for her to stay and not get kicked on the streets, making Big Mama send Leo on field missions as a punishment, making him take Yn with him, purposefully making her dead weight, but he always came out on top.

throughout the years Yn became very introverted and showed her true self only to leo bc that was her one and only safe place. They go on outings in the hidden city and run from the bellboys tryna catch them when BM finds out they snuck out.

The other turtles are all scattered.

Donatello is with Draxum, YN and Leo being the only ones that even call him Donatello. (Drax calls him Purple bc he's horrendous with names). He used to be a full on turtle mutant but because of Draxum training him until he was drained n tired asf there was a lab accident, making him half cyborg. His shell is now replaced with a deadly metal 'shell', one of his eyes is artificial, and eventhough he's trained in multiple weapons, he prefers using technology and working on war weapons making Big Mama and Draxum collaborate. Whenever there's a meeting both BM and Draxum would take their sons with them as 'theyre the succesors and should be there for future reference' though Leo thinks Big Mama wants to have a good image and show Draxum off by dangling something that she took from him right in his face. Well, if Leo's going, that automatically means YN is coming with him; he wont let her out of her periphery, wont make snatching his pet away from him easy for Big Mama. They basically met at those meetings, though they usually sent the younger ones elsewhere while the adults spoke of veery important things. Donatello absolutely hated YN at first bc she was human so him n leo almost fought, but YN, being a little familiar with Donnie from her dreams, started asking Donatello questions to appease him, making Donnie tolerate her (theyre working on extending that tolerance to all of humanity). Leo and Donnie's and Yn's relationship is on thin ice, but it is getting better- they visit don when theyre in the hidden city and help him with gathering materials from the overworld bc Purple wasnt allowed lol Loser. (they snuck him out and showed him the wonders of human tech though, once or twice.) Leo got his mystic weapon from Baron Draxum as a gift (eventhough he actually didnt want to give it. Donnie convinced him to do so because Drax had a fight with Big Mama and 'giving a gift to her son would show your utmost apologies and mend your business partnership') a way to get back into good graces w Big Mama and Draxum. Just business.

Raph (or Beast) is with the Foot Clan. He was raised very lovingly (bc they were prepping him for the shredder armor), and reveres shredder as his god bc while his parents may have 'loved' him, he was at the end of the day, just a tool to help shredder's revival (everyone in the clan thought so about themselves, they were veery cult like). Leo only knows of them bc he spotted them breaking into a mall while he was 'shopping' gifts for YN :3. he found them hilarious so he watched on as they struggled to fit Beast through multiple doors in the mall. The guy was huge, bigger than he was supposed to be. wtf were they feeding him?? Leo ofc records it and shows it to YN and she can deduce the future from her dreams and the way things r going irl and goes like oh shit this is bad lol we're fucked if someone doesnt do anything abt this and leos like will it hurt you? yn: yes. yes leo it will. leo: oh okay dw then yn ill steal it from them hehe. so he trolls the foot clan whenever he can just for funsies (Leo is also slightly insane n arrogant, so being a little shit comes naturally to him). Whilst he was stalking the top execs he comes across a binding ritual for two or more people. He watched and listened as it was explained thru a book. He stole the ritual book and read through it himself, coming up with an idea himself.

He brings the book to YN and tells her he wants to souldbond with her. (their relationship is like: i belong to leo and only leo but we're not dating n vice versa... like kiss alr smh.) A soulbond is an irreversible binding contract between two people, which allows them to communicate their intent just by their thoughts and solidifying their involvement with each other. It can only be broken if one of them dies. Yn agrees and they make the soulbond without any regrets. No one knows about it but Donnie, whose eye had strong mystic receptors iy already. He saw the chains binding the 2 together and gagged the moment he found out what it meant LMAO.

Raphs fighting style are his body and tail only. hes a brute through and through, his older sister is Cass.

Mikey is with Splinter, who felt so guilty of being unable to save mikeys brothers he unintentionally started neglecting Mikey and developed depression. Mikey bless his soul has been doing his best to keep it together and bring his bros together. He doesnt succeed at it very much and only represses his emotions until he cant anymore, and when that happens lets say the city had a few buildings to fix. Mikey stole the Kusari fundo from Draxum, and its his main weapon.

April, who has Mayhem as her pet, is trying to become a journalist, so she's always at the fights, writing stuff down and then publishing them. Her main way of staying safe is Mayhem's portals lol. She's been saved multiple times by Yn begging leo to give her mercy lol. None of the turtles rlly interact w her.

YN is very shy and closed off. She can be very calculative and manipulative if dhe wants to, making her the perfect s/o for leo, who can analyse a situation and come up on top with the best outcome, as well as pull any information out of anyone, violently or not. He needs constant praise. Leo has a short fuse, and Yn is his perfect match, always calming the situation down before it could make leo explode; she knows all his triggers and tells and weaknesses, as does he for her since they yknow, grew up together.

TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE

[livwritesstuff]

i went on a deep dive of the Steve & Hopper ao3 tag yesterday and and it got me thinking about what would happen if Chief of Police Hopper ran into Steve and Eddie while he was on patrol after pseudo-adopting Steve, and it’s been long enough that Hopper is sort of a safe-person for Steve so Steve goes into full-fledged bitch mode when Hopper tries to pull cop stuff on them, and Eddie (who knew about none of this because Steve is a chronic under-sharer) is so totally baffled.

He’d spent years watching Steve sweet-talk his way out of trouble. Even before they started hooking up it used to drive Eddie goddamn insane, because if (when) Eddie pulled any of this shit Steve gets away with, he’d be totally screwed, but all Steve has to do is flash a sheepish grin and run a hand through his hair once or twice and say, all baleful, “I really didn’t mean any trouble,” and he’s home free.

It has its perks though, or so he's learned during his last few months of hanging around with Steve, so when Steve and Eddie’s make-out session is interrupted by the tell-tale red and blue lights of a cop car pulling up behind where Steve parked the Beemer a few hundred yards down a maintenance road, Eddie’s not all that worried. In fact, he’s got a pretty good amount of faith in Steve’s ability to spin up some story to keep them out of any real trouble, and as Chief Hopper ambles over to them, Eddie prepares himself for a whole show of, “Yes Chief, sorry Chief, it won’t happen again Chief.”

So imagine Eddie's complete and utter surprise when Hopper barks, “Hey, morons! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” and Steve only rolls his eyes and says, “What’s it to you?”

Eddie feels his jaw drop.

“Steve,” he mutters through gritted teeth. He tries to elbow Steve into shutting the hell up, but he misses because Steve has already taken several steps forward to meet Hopper, his face turned up in a kind of defiance Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen on him before.

“What’s it to me?” Hopper repeats, glowering at Steve, “It’s midnight. I’m on patrol. You’ve got one of the most recognizable cars in this entire damn town parked in a restricted-access zone with this idiot–” Hopper gestures at Eddie (Eddie didn’t think the pointing or the idiot were necessary, but clearly, clearly, he’s missing something here), “–who’s been dragged into my station more times than I could count.”

“The town line, Hop, is over there,” Steve says, pointing at an indiscriminate spot over Hop’s shoulder that may or may not be part of the Hawkins town line, “We’re not even in Hawkins anymore. You’re totally out of your jurisdiction.”

“You wanna know something about jurisdiction, smart-ass?” Hopper asks, “If my report says shit happened in my jurisdiction, it happened in my jurisdiction.”

“Wow,” Steve deadpans, “Way to not sound totally corrupt. Nice work, Chief.”

Hopper’s jaw twitches for a second, and he’s clearly debating if he wants to keep arguing with Steve who, to Steve’s credit, looks like he’s got debate in him for days. Ultimately though, Hopper decides against it and stalks back over to his squad car.

“If you’re not home by one there’s gonna be hell to pay. You hear me, Harrington?” Hopper yells, “One AM. Hell to pay.”

“Oh, sure,” Steve rolls his eyes, “Totally hear you. One AM. Loud and clear or whatever.”

Steve flips the cruiser both birds as it peels away, which Hopper only flashes his high beams at a couple times before he’s gone, kicking up a bunch of dirt and mulch and leaves in his wake, and Steve is wearing an exasperated expression as he turns to face Eddie again.

“God, he’s so annoying. Let’s just go to my house.”

Eddie gapes at him.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Huh?”

“What the fuck was that?” Eddie repeated, gesturing wildly towards where Hopper’s car had just been.

“Wha– you mean with Hop?”

“Uh, yeah?!?”

Steve just brushed him off, “Whatever, just ignore him. He’s basically my dad.”

“What?”

EDIT: read the expanded fic on AO3 :)

[imaroyalmess]

An Apprentice’s (Unofficial) Guide to House Garments

based on @energ00n 's apprentice AU! (i'm obsessed with the concept of apprentices making up garment rules)

Wc: 2.1k

The datapad—an older model with discolored spots, showing where servos touched its framing—is the first thing Orion Pax’s optics land on as he walks into his new room. Orion snatches the datapad and tilts his helm as he reads the title over again. A peek at the contents shows that it begins with Hey newbie followed by three exclamation glyphs (an overabundance of any glyph, if you asked Orion).

Orion glances up and catches his own gaze in a mirror hanging in front of him. It’s strange, seeing two sheer fabric pieces delicately flowing over the hard metal of his arms—he’s hesitant to move his arm joints in fear of tearing it. That, as well as the jewelry occupying the space where his cog would be creates a vision that’ll take some getting used to.

He pries his optics away and down to the datapad again, dermas pinching as his processor whirrs. Prima explained to him how to care for his garment personally and what if, since the datapad looks old, the data was outdated? No, safer to follow Prima’s instructions and not confuse himself.

Orion places the datapad to the side and sets off to explore his new home.

~

Hello newbie!!!

Congratulations to you and your new position! There’s so much you need to know before you get started. If you wanna make friends, then you’ll wanna keep reading, little mech!

It’s most important that you know about your House garment. No, no, not how to wash oil stains out of it (though that’s good to know!), I’m talking about the meaning behind what you do with it.

Lucky for you, I’ve compiled a list for your easy reference! Learn them well, little mech!!

DO: Wear your House garment at all times! I’ve been told it’s respectful to the Primes. Also helpful so we can tell each other apart. Usually only an apprentice’s special somebot sees them without it! Even then, maybe not.

~

D-16 has always been a stickler for the rules. It’s structure—it’s security. He can’t afford to slip up and never lets that resolve waver. So how exactly did he let pretty blue optics lure him into a cargo hold that supposedly has a passage leading into the (highly forbidden) archives? D-16 isn’t sure.

“Orion Pax,” D-16 hisses, “you idiot, there’s no way—”

Orion hushes him with a digit to his dermas and a wink. D-16 lowers his voice. “Why did you drag me into this?”

Orion pries the cover away from the passage and lowers it to the ground, a soft clank echoing. “I need you to keep watch for me, ‘kay? It’s a tight squeeze for me so you definitely wouldn’t fit.”

D-16 frowns, a retort fully prepped in his processor, but then Orion unclips his garment and D-16’s vocalizer short circuits. For a horrifying and long nanoklik, only static emits from his voice box. “Wh–Pax, what are you doing?!”

“I told you.” Orion rolls his optics. “Barely enough room in there and I can’t risk ripping my clothes up. Prima would offline me.”

He slips the sheer fabric over his helm and presents it to D-16 with splayed servos. Primus, help him. It takes D-16 exactly 1.46 kliks to reboot and shake his helm vehemently. “No? I…you want me to—”

“It’s just my garment,” Orion states, playful but also firm in a way that says I don’t have time to argue. “I’m not asking you to do anything else. Keep it safe?”

Just my garment. If Orion’s antics don’t get him expelled, his cluelessness would. However, he’s correct about one thing, and it’s that their time is running out.

D-16 half-snatches half-cradles the garment, careful not to let the ends touch the ground. With a deep intake D-16 says, “Go. Before they spot us.”

Orion grins, scrambling his way through the crawl space, leaving D-16 to listen for passing mechs. The fabric feels smooth between his digits.

~

DON’T: touch another apprentice’s attire, especially(!) without their permission. A passing touch may be an accident but deliberately grabbing is almost like a kiss!!! Don’t kiss or put your dermas on their clothing either. That has…intimate implications I won’t discuss here.

~

Orion loves watching Megatronus Prime spar with D-16. The size difference between the two could be laughable, if it weren’t for the ferocity that overtakes D-16’s faceplate and the corrections Megatronus throws out to him. Multiple times, Orion’s systems remind him to function as he watches—his friend is a vision under his Prime’s tutelage, all gritted denta, radiating optics, and arcing gauntlets.

Once satisfied, the looming Prime kneels before his apprentice and speaks lowly to him. Orion’s audials are unable to pick up what’s said but the open and hungry way D-16 receives his feedback sates him. Megatronus returns to his full height, nods to release D-16 from his training for the day and Orion perks up at the gesture.

“D!” Orion calls. His friend pads over to what’s becoming Orion’s usual spot, a barely-there smile on his dermas.

“You been waiting long?” D-16 asks, setting his practice spear against the wall.

Orion shakes his helm. A white lie—he’s been there longer than he should’ve but it’s not his fault that watching D-16 fight is so fascinating. “What were you learning today?”

D-16 dutifully launches into the intricacies of battle strategy and close-ranged combat. Orion props his helm up with his loose fist as he listens—mostly listens, at least. That task becomes difficult as the jargon grows thick and D-16’s broad servos capture Orion’s attention as they move in small motions.

An idea pops into his processor. “Why don’t you show me?”

A pause, then D-16 scoops up his practice spear, muttering, “It’ll look stupid without an opponent.”

Orion hops over the half-wall that’s been separating them and bounces over to stand in front of his friend. “I’m right here though.”

“No,” D-16 said immediately. “It’s not safe.”

“C’mon, D,” Orion teases. “I trust you.”

D-16 cycles his optics and Orion’s lopsided grin grows. “It’s not about that. You don’t know what you’re doing and even if it’s not real, I could hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Orion states, full of confidence.

“I could,” D-16 argues. “Then Prima would offline me for harming his one and only apprentice—”

Orion begins to circle D-16, close enough to reach but far enough that he could evade it. “I know what you’re doing, Pax. It’s not going to work.”

“Is it not?” Orion teases as he keeps in D-16’s blindspot, his friend calmly trying to catch sight of him again. He takes a chance while behind him, dashing out and giving the purple fabric of D-16’s House garment a good tug.

“Pax,” D-16 chastises. Yes, it’s a sparkling-like move, Orion knows and does not quite care. He does it again, giggles erupting from his vocalizer as D-16’s calmness dissipates.

Orion manages to tug at D-16’s garment twice more before D-16’s arm snaps out, captures the joint above Orion’s servos, and crowds him against the nearby wall. The yellow of D-16’s optics blaze. Orion notices how close they are, how his friend’s weight is the only thing that keeps him upright, and he grins.

D-16 growls, “Orion.” And honestly? Orion isn’t sure what’s going through his processor when his reaction to hearing D-16 say his name is to bite down on the gathered cloth by one of the gauntlets he’d been admiring earlier.

D-16 drops him. His aft hits the ground with a rough clank and Orion cries out, “hey!”

But D-16 isn’t listening. His optics are focused on the spot where Orion’s intake fluid darkened cloth’s already deep purple. D-16’s expression is horrified.

“Oh scrap, D.” Orion scrambles to his pedes. “It should go away, right? I’ve never—D! Where are you going? Wait!”

Before Orion can say another word, D-16 runs—no, sprints—out of the practice arena, leaving Orion there alone wondering what he’d done wrong.

~

DO: keep your garment clean! It’s polite and respectful, blah blah blah, you should know this. But! What you don’t know is that leaving a mark on another apprentice’s garment, accidental or not, is a serious offense! You tear it, that’s a show of disrespect to the apprentice and their House and you might have to fight them. On the other servo, if you, say, put a small decal on the cloth, you’re effectively marking that mech as your own. Same goes for intake fluid, though that just tells everyone that you and that bot are...together in a different sense. Catch my drift? 

~

“I’m sorry, D.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know but I made you upset, didn’t I?”

“...no. You didn’t.”

~

DON’T: wear another House’s garment!!! Unless you’re ready to be conjunxes. And I’m serious! It’s saying your devotion to that mech is equivalent to your devotion to your Prime. Ask yourself, little mech. Would you swear undying fealty to them? Would you choose that mech over your Prime? No? Then don’t do this.

(Okay, I might be a little overdramatic, but seriously, don’t.)

~

What fascinates Orion is how different the textiles feel from one another. He’s read about the arts and asked on multiple occasions to speak with the bot who made his House clothes because he must know more. Orion shifts the material of D-16’s garment between his digits, reveling in the weight and watching the fabric fold as he moves.

He drapes a length of it over his arm and turns to D-16, who’s dozing in and out of a light rest cycle. “Do you think purple would suit me?”

“Hm?”

Orion nudges his friend with the bend of his arm still wrapped in material. This time, D-16 rouses, even if only a little. “Your House garment, silly. How does it look?”

“Fine,” D-16 says.

“Just fine?” Orion complains. “You’re the meanest friend ever. You won’t even let me try?”

D-16 resettles his helm. “Not mean. ‘M honest.”

Orion shoves his shoulder plate, only serving to further tangle himself. “Your honesty is mean.”

“Would you prefer a more elaborate answer?”

“Not anymore,” Orion mutters. This time, he lets D-16 rest as he lays the garment over his lap and smoothes out the wrinkles he’s made. 

~

Congrats!!! Now you’re fully equipped to take on the social terrain in the House of Primes!!

In case you didn’t read all that, basically, keep to your own business and every other bot will keep to theirs. You’re lucky you have me to help you out with this because I didn't have anyone explain it to me and I broke about every rule before an apprentice told me. I was so embarrassed!!! No need to thank me though, little mech, whoever you may be. Just have fun! Be responsible! Follow these rules!!! I promise, you’ll have a better time if you do. Byeeee ;)

~

D-16 might cease to function—if he hasn’t already. On this particular solar cycle, Orion had dragged D-16 into another one of his schemes and deemed his quarters the meeting point. The door slid open, Orion welcomed him inside, and D-16’s optics landed on a datapad that made his spark drop.

That thing isn’t supposed to exist—not physically, anyway. How did it get here? How in Primus’ glory does Orion have it?!

“D?” Orion cuts through his panic.

“Have you…” D-16 can barely force his vocaliser to say the words. “Have you read it?”

Orion raises an optical ridge. Confused but fond. “Read what?”

A digit points at the datapad, though D-16 didn’t consciously give the command for it to do so. “That.”

“Oh that?” Orion ambles over to the offending object. “It was here when I moved in. Weird right? Maybe Prima put it here in case I forgot what he told me?”

D-16’s joints creak with the effort it takes to stride over and pick up the datapad. “You don’t need it though, do you?”

Please say no, D-16’s processor screams.

Orion laughs, though his confusion melds into concern as well. “No, I guess not…did you need it? You can take it, if you do.”

And D-16 then and there wishes Orion Pax had chosen a better friend, one who he deserves. Except, D-16 is also selfish and cold in ways where Orion is warm—he doesn’t wish that, in actuality. (It feels kinder to say that he does. Orion deserves kind.)

“Thanks,” D-16 says for lack of any explanation that wouldn’t be a flat-out lie.

Then Orion smiles at him, as he always does, and pats him on the chest plate, right next to his empty cog slot, right on his garment. D-16 musters a quirk of his dermas and tucks the datapad away from Orion’s prying optics. It’s hard to feel guilty about it, when Orion seems so content and his servos make his garment so warm.

~~~

A/N: tysm for reading! i'm sorry if i got any details wrong, i read all the comics over again to make sure i got it all correct but just in case i missed something! please check out the main comic if you haven't already. the worldbuilding, writing, and art style are all stunning!

[space-signals]

Lip Gloss

Steve Harrington shamefully wears girly lip gloss. Actually, he shamefully does a lot of girly things, but you can blame all that on Nancy Wheeler. 

Steve was just so infatuated with how she got to be so soft. It was the one reason he was dating her, because she was so pretty and soft. So naturally, back when they were dating, he asked her what her secret was and after some blissful teasing; she told him. From moisturizers to lip scrubs, Nancy Wheeler educated Steve on how to keep your body fresh and smooth. Naturally, Steve adopted all of these habits. Being the prettiest boy in Hawkins comes with a cost, okay? 

So now, every night before Steve went to bed and every morning before he went to work, he would do this extensive routine that kept his face shining like a waxed car. It was great. No one knew about it until one weekend when Steve had forgotten to hide his self-care products and Billy was over and went into the bathroom. 

“Do you have a sister?” Billy yelled from across the house. 

“What?” Steve was lying on his bed, reading some lame magazine and not even thinking about why Billy might’ve asked that. 

“Do you have a sister?” Billy asked again as he picked up a small jar of something that said ‘body butter’ with the hand that wasn’t currently zipping his pants up after peeing. 

Steve scoffed and stood up off his bed. “No, what would make you think thaa-…” Steve stopped in the middle of the hallway when he saw Billy holding a bottle of face spray that was supposed to hydrate your face in the morning. 

“So I can safely assume that these are all yours?” Billy asked with a smug look on his face. 

Steve bit his lip. He wanted to curl into a ball and explode. Why did Billy Hargrove have to be the one to find out about Steve’s most embarrassing secret? Twice!! Has the man done this, and both times did Steve hate it. 

“Maybe…” he whispered, and Billy’s smug face grew into an annoying smile. 

“I never took you for a pansy.” Billy teased as he picked up a bottle of his face cleanser. 

“I’m not a pansy for taking care of myself.” Steve bit back as he ripped the two skin-care products and slammed them back onto the sink counter. 

Billy spun him around by his waist, pushing him into the marble counter. “No, of course you’re not.” He agreed and smiled lazily at Steve. Leaning in to kiss him slowly, Steve’s heart fluttered with love as his hands hovered over the sides of Billy’s face. “I always wondered how you kept your lips so soft, and now I blame Noxzema.” 

“I actually use a lip scrub I made from honey and sugar.” Steve corrected. 

Billy rolled his eyes. “You’re so lame.” He said before leaning in for another slow kiss. 

And so now Billy Hargrove shamelessly always has chapstick in the back pocket of his jeans, or lip oil in his middle compartment, or some face serum in his glove box. There was always something there for Steve in case he forgot or believed he needed to touch himself up, which Billy thought was never because Steve was perfect in his eyes. And then he would gag himself right after thinking that. 

Steve’s habits didn’t go without teasing, of course. Steve would apply his chapstick and Billy would grab him by the neck and kiss him roughly before complementing the flavor, and Steve would have to reapply the chapstick, only for Billy to kiss him all over again. There were lots of times where Steve would put hand cream and Billy would mock him for masturbating at such a strange time, and when Steve did his nightly routine Billy would always make sure to point out the wrinkles that Steve did not have with a: “You missed your smile lines, grandma. Gotta put more cream on.” And Steve would slam his bathroom door shut. 

And of course, with all these feminine products lying around wherever Billy was, people were obviously going to notice. Like when Max found lip oil and lip gloss in Billy’s middle compartment of his car and hurriedly went to Steve and said: 

“Steve, I think Billy’s cheating on you.” Max whispered at the ice cream counter. 

Steve’s heart dropped because Billy and him had been doing so well and now all of sudden Max was coming to him and telling him that Billy was cheating!? Yeah he flirted with some of the moms at the pool, but that was because Billy was an ass who enjoyed fucking with people, but he wouldn’t cheat on Steve with a fucking mom! 

“What!?” He spit, a little too loud for the privacy of their conversation. 

“Yeah! I saw like lip oil and lip gloss in the compartment of his car.” 

Steve froze. Why did life have to play out this way for him? Why did Billy have to be such a caring boyfriend and let Steve leave his stuff around? Why the fuck did he have to be such a pansy? “Yeah, Max, that’s uh…” He didn’t know how to say this. Really, he could’ve played along with Max and been absolutely shocked that Billy was cheating on him. “That’s my stuff.” 

Max’s face contoured in confusion. “What…?” 

Steve sucked in a breath as he scratched his neck awkwardly. “Yeaah… I use… lip oil.” 

“And lip gloss?” 

Steve shamefully nodded his head. 

Max’s shoulders slumped. “Wow.” She said in amazement. “How is my brother dating you?” 

“I have no idea- Are you going to buy some ice cream?” 

Max stared at him for a second before saying yes and buying some chocolate ice cream and leaving in a daze. Robin opened up the glass dividers. 

“What was that about?” She asked. 

“I…” Steve turned around and leaned against the counter. “I don’t want to tell you.” 

“That’s a little rude, Stevie.” 

“What have I said about you calling me that?” He groaned. 

“That you love it.” 

“Oh, my- shut up.” He turned back around as Robin closed the glass dividers with little girl giggles. 

One thing that Steve loved about Billy was that he didn’t care, that was his favorite thing about his boyfriend. Billy didn’t give a single fuck about what anyone thought of him, and that included people thinking he was weird for carrying such feminine products on his person. Like the one time after the Starcourt incident when Billy, Robin, and him were walking out of a movie theater and Steve’s lips were feeling dry after eating all that popcorn. He started patting down his pockets for his chapstick, but he just couldn’t find any. 

Billy stopped and whipped something out of his pocket and handed Steve lip gloss.

“Oh, thanks.” Steve gleefully took the tube and applied it to his lips. And then a snort took him away from his self care to see Robin staring at the two of them. Steve sighed and dreaded the thought that he had to expose his most embarrassing secret to another person. 

“What?” Billy hissed. “You’ve never seen a man have lip gloss?” 

Steve stared in awe as Billy took the blame for the lip gloss. 

Robin held her hands up in defense. “No, I just think it’s funny.” 

“Taking care of yourself isn’t funny, Robin.” Billy took the tube away from Steve. “You know you would do some good if you took care of yourself every once in a while. Maybe try some eye cream, your eye bags are showing.” Billy shoved past Robin to his car. 

The two friends were standing still in shock, their jaws touching the floor because holy fuck, Billy Hargrove did not just take the blame for Steve’s feminine ways. 

“Hey assholes!” Billy yelled from his car. “Let’s get on with it! There’s a party down at Tommy’s! I wanna crash it!” 

Steve was well aware he was in love with Billy Hargrove, and he was well aware Billy Hargrove was in love with him. But holy shit, did Steve now know that they were in love. Because what other manly guy would pretend to know all about self-care to protect his boyfriend’s self-esteem? 

He barked out a laugh at Robin before jogging away to Billy’s car. Robin soon followed with a defeated look in her eyes.

[inkyrainstorms]

The Martian Stan AU - The Beginning

“Is that it?” Stan asked, his voice burning and rising like the coming tide, vicious and overwhelming and inevitable. Ford’s shoulders tightened involuntarily, and he threw his brother as scathing of a glare as he could manage. Couldn’t Stan see that this, Ford’s problems, were important? “You call me all the way here after ten years, just to tell me to get as far away from you as possible?!”

If Ford was any less exhausted, if the hole in his left hand and the hole in his heart  were any less gaping, and the fresh scrapes and cracked fingernails ached any less, he might’ve taken a step back to apologize. To explain that it wasn’t about what Ford wanted, or what Stan wanted. It was about stopping Bill, and saving the world.

If Ford were a different man, he’d reconsider his approach and find a way to fix the chasm that seemed to yawn wider with every word that came out of each of their mouths. But as it was, Ford was not a different man. He couldn’t even fix himself.

So Ford instead felt indignation sting like hot coals in his gut and urge him to step forward, closer to Stanley. His brother took an involuntary half-step back. “Stanley, you don’t understand what I’ve been through!”

“What you’ve been through!” Stan kept talking even as Ford pushed past him, fury etched onto every word like a brand. “No, no, you don’t understand what I’ve been through! I’ve been to prison in three countries, and I once had to chew my way out of the trunk of a car!”

He got up in Fords face when Ford turned back, his brows drawn low and finger jabbing into Ford’s abdomen. He didn’t realize it, because of course he didn’t, but he’d pressed right into one of the bruises on Fords ribcage from his trip down the stairs earlier that day. Ford grit his teeth and glared back.

“You think you’ve got problems? I’ve got a mullet Stanford!”

Why couldn’t Stan take Fords problems seriously? Was he really cracking jokes at a time like this? 

Ford couldn’t take it anymore. 

Oblivious to the dangerous precipice Fords stability had drawn close to,  Stan got bitterly sarcastic. “Meanwhile where have you been? Holed up in your fancy house in the woods and living it up, selfishly hoarding all—“

Ford went still. If he’d been a slightly different man, a slightly more composed man, perhaps, he’d have fired back another jab at his twin, because how could the man that ruined Fords life and betrayed his complete and total trust call him selfish?

There was a different voice, at a different time altogether too recent and a lifetime ago. His monstrous Muse, his most trusted friend, taking his body on a fucking joyride and then having the gall to look him in the eyes and say “YOU’RE PRETTY SELFISH IQ”. 

Ford had just kept on weeping blood. 

As it was, Stan didn’t get a chance to finish his rant. He was much too busy receiving a solid punch to the face and staggering back against the force of it. For a moment, all was quiet. Ford was shaking, he realized distantly, staring blankly at his brother. His knuckles stung from the impact.

Stan took more time to recover than Ford would’ve thought, but when he finally did, it was with a new layer of dark fury that Ford hadn’t ever seen from him before. Stan lowered the book from where he’d clenched it to his chest, and pulled out a lighter. “Fine.” He whispered roughly, though it echoed in the cavernous room anyway. Louder, then, “Fine! You want me to get rid of it so bad? I’ll get rid of it right now!”

A challenging fire burned in Stan’s eyes, and with a flick, it burned in his right hand too. Ford’s journal dangled above the hungry, all consuming light. 

Ford couldn’t breathe. Every piece of himself he’d had to let go of, that he’d lost to Bill and all that he was giving up to rectify his own mistakes, all to see Stan get rid of part of his life’s work right before his eyes. 

How dare he.

Ford let out a guttural shout and lunged for the book. Stanley, evidently not expecting this, stumbled back and tried to move the lighter before Ford and him could get burned from it in the tussle.

He only partly succeeded. Ford hissed at the momentary new pain shooting up the underside of his hand as he tried to grab for the book and Stan flat out dropped the lighter in response. His brother faltered for a split second, his brow creasing. 

“Sixer, I—“

Ford didn’t let him finish. The second he heard the nickname, some part of him blanked out entirely, and the buzzing in his ears sounded like an angry hornet in his skull. “Don’t,” he grit out, and he’s sure his voice was much too thick and angry and he wasn’t being rational but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “Call me that!” 

When Ford lunged for the journal anew, he tackled Stan to the ground as his brother instinctively tightened his own grip on the book. Ford’s book.

“Why not?!” Stan cried out, trying to pry Ford off of him and only succeeding in rolling the two on the ground away from the portal. Ford couldn’t figure out if he sounded more hurt or concerned. The hurricane in his chest kept him from thinking on it too much.

Ford let out a wordless grunt in response, as the two of them, having grappled up to stand, slammed straight through the door and Stan tried to pin him down onto one of the control panels, before Ford managed to gain enough momentum to roll Stan off of him. They were throwing punches and shouting insults they probably didn’t mean, and after a minute long struggle where they surely broke every damn thing in that control room —and good riddance, Ford tried to think but he was too tired to think much at all— Stan had shouted with all the ferocious desperation of a drowning man, “why can’t you listen to me, damnit! You ruined my life!”

Ford had retorted, because of course he did, with “You ruined your own life!” as he finally got a good grip on the book and kicked Stan away with enough force to shove him against the side of one of the control panels. 

Stan’s scream was abrupt and guttural and horrifying. It cut through the haze in Fords mind with all the precision of a scalpel, dropping a rock of dread into his gut. Ford backed away as quickly as he could, and didn’t even register his journal slipping through his slack fingers to land facedown on the ground. He felt sick.

“Stanley! Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” 

For a few, horrible, horrible seconds, Stan laid there, slumped and unmoving from where he’d hunched onto the floor. The burn— the brand on his shoulder looked angry and hot against his skin. It had burned clean through his coat and shirt.

Ford took a few hurried steps closer, shaking so hard he could barely walk, when Stan groaned. “Stanley…” he started, but trailed off as Stan pulled himself to his feet. His eyes were darker than Ford had ever seen them before. Stan was shaking too.

“You really want your dumb mysteries that bad?”

And Ford wanted to say, no, no he didn’t, because Stan still held his shoulder stiff as he could and his grip was knuckle-white where he’d used it to brace his arm against his side, because Ford had branded his own twin.

But the words stuck in his throat, because he realized with a start that Stan and him weren’t the ones shaking. The room was. His eyes shot to the portal.

His magnum opus and his curse, his Dadaleus’s Labyrinth, was activating. 

A sudden movement from Stan snapped Fords attention back to his injured, angry brother. Ford took a few cautious steps out of the control room and held up his hands placatingly as Stan advanced. His brother was blocking the doorway, but Ford needed to get in there, he needed to activate the shutdown procedure. “Stan, please,” he said weakly, not sure what exactly he meant. Let me through? Wait? Let me help you?

He didn’t get the chance to find out, though, because Stan continued talking, hefting up the journal he’d evidently picked up from the floor while Ford was distracted. “Well you can have ‘em” Stan said viciously, and Ford could hear the pain in it clear as day as he moved to shove the book into Ford’s hands.

Ford dodged Stan attempt, careful to not touch Stan’s injured shoulder, and weaved around him. “Stan, please, wait.”

Stan laughed, turning around. His grin looked painful. “I’m tired of waiting, Si— Stanford. I really am.”

Ford didn’t have time for this. His heart ached in ways Ford didn’t have the time to decipher as the humming in the room got louder, and he turned to move back to the control room. “Just a moment, Stanley, I just need—“

When Stan latched onto his arm and tried to whirl Ford back around, Ford reacted on pure instinct and deep seated paranoia, that kind that can only be born from aftermath of pure devastation. He followed the momentum and shoved Stan back as hard as he could, turning and sprinting to the control room before Stan could recover and try to stop him again.

“Stanford?”

He never got there. Stan’s voice, suddenly small and scared, ground Ford’s pace to a halt. The humming was louder now, reverberating through his chest. 

“Ford, what’s happening?”

For a terrible moment, Ford didn’t turn around. He just stared at the door of the control room as if he could stop time if he tried hard enough. He didn’t want to see. Seeing made it real. It meant his worst fears had become true, it justified the cold sinking in his chest. 

“Ford!”

Ford whirled around and let out a hoarse cry. There Stanley was, greasy hair floating in a halo around his face, one hand outstretched and the other holding Ford’s journal tight to his chest. Ford had pushed him over the danger line.

The look on his twins face was worse than Ford could’ve ever imagined. 

The anger had drained out of him, the closer he floated to the all consuming blue light of the portal. The was naked terror in his eyes, and he cried out for Ford again.

“Stanley! Hold on, please!” Ford said, before making another break for the control room.

He needed to shut it off right this instant.

“Hold onto what, brainiac!?”

“I don’t know, Stanley! Anything within reach, just don’t let yourself go through the portal.”

Ford input the shut down code. He input it again. He then realized that they’d knocked the cords out of alignment and frantically began adjusting them from where they were wired into the top of the control panel. Shit, they really broke everything in this room, didn’t they?

The third time he input the code, the light flashed green, and the keys made themselves known on a panel adjacent to Ford’s position by the window.

Three keys. Of course. Why did he have to make it three keys, all turned simultaneously?

Metal screeched in the portal room, and when Ford dared to glance up between trying to maneuver himself to turn all three keys, a jolt of horror swept through him and nearly knocked him off his feet. 

Stan has nearly entirely consumed by the light now, clawing at the edge of the portal he’d managed to reach. Ford cursed himself when he realized that the metal plate Stan was holding, as well as  over a dozen others, were loosening to the point of nearly falling off entirely from the main frame. The other objects he’d scattered across the floor of his lab, everything from basic tools like screwdrivers to bigger machine parts floated through the portal at increasingly high speeds.

Ford wouldn’t need to do anything, he realized, and it wasn’t the comfort he wished it was. The portal was destabilizing. Judging by the erratic pulsing the portal light was doing, it’d be closing soon.

Ford ran out of the control room and stopped short just as Stan locked eyes with him again. 

“Stanley!” he called, another desperate idea beginning to form in his panic addled mind as he scanned the room for spare rope and found none. The spare rope from the first portal test must’ve gotten caught in the portals expanding gravitational pull. His brother was barely a shadow in the light now, but Ford knew Stanley had heard him. “If you toss me the journal, I can—“

“The journal?” Stan gasped out, frenzied. “Is that still all you care about!?”

“No, no, if I just had the instructions, I could fix—“ this, fix everything. 

The screeching of metal and thundering of the portal reached a deafening crescendo, and Ford could see Stan open his mouth to interrupt, to say something, assent or argument or—

But Ford didn’t get to find out what Stan would’ve said. A particularly violent jolt shook the metal frame of the portal, and Stan, with a wide-eyed final look that Ford didn’t know how to decipher, slipped.

His brother disappeared into the light just as the portal collapsed in on itself with enough concussive force to send Ford crashing to the ground. He slammed onto his back hard enough to knock the air from his lungs.

Silence fell over the room. It was dark.

Ford stared at the ceiling above him, then dragged his eyes, slowly, painfully, to the portal. 

The deactivated, half missing and half obliterated portal.

For a long, long time, Ford sat in the dark under the full weight of every bruise and scratch and burn he’d sustained, and it was like he was underwater, head swimming with nausea and pain and bewilderment. He was numb. 

A faint plip-plop sound echoed suddenly through the deathly silent basement, and Ford squinted at the sound through his crooked glasses, trying to identify the source. 

A dark substance stained the edge of the portal, right where Stan had been holding on. Ford watched blankly as the liquid slowly rolled along the curve of the portal entrance, before reached a jagged gap in the perfect circle and slipping through. It slid down the jagged and crumpled panels, weaving until it gathered at the tip of a particularly jutting sheet of metal. 

Another drip.

Another.

Ford shifted closer, simply trying to breathe. He pointedly didn’t think about how the other side of the portal had driven Fiddleford to seemingly the brink of madness in moments, he didn’t think about the glimpse into the Nightmare Realm Bill had given him when he first revealed his true hand, and he certainly didn’t think about the final look Stanley had given him, grief and rage and betrayal all rolled into one.

He finally got close enough to see the liquid for what it was. It wasn’t oil, like he’d figured, like he’d hoped and prayed with every inhale and exhale to the gods he didn’t believe in. It was too thick, congealing with familiar splatters on the floor. It was a deep crimson.

Stan must have cut his hand on the metal with how hard he’d been holding it, Ford realized, and the thoughts were the first crack in the dam Ford had buried himself beneath. This was Stan’s blood.

Stan was in the Nightmare Realm, bleeding from one hand and burned on the other shoulder and begging for Ford to do something, asking Ford what was happening because he didn’t know, because Ford didn’t tell him, and—  

It was all Fords fault.

All of it.

Oh Moses.

The dam creaked with warning, a death rattle and a laugh rolled into one, before Ford was swept into the undertow.

Ford had killed his own brother.

All alone in the dark basement with the machine he’d turned into his brother’s grave, Ford buried his burnt, bloody hands in his hair and bowed his head until it hit his knees. All alone, Stanford Pines cried for the first time in years.

Alternate Titles: The Worst Conversation Ever

Or: Ford started disassembling the portal early and everything went to shit accordingly.

Tags! @aroace-get-out-of-my-face @pleasantartisanhottea @empressofsamoyeds @littlelilliana15 @pinefamilycatsau @thejaxindianrizzler (I saw your comment in the og post and it made me laugh cause I was in the middle of working on this when I noticed it) (I hope you don’t mind the tag :))

if I missed anyone I’m sorry about that! The tag is always a fair option to follow too (#martian Stan au)

[badkarma1998]

This has been living in my head for like a week now (probably gonna color and render it later)

Link to my Tangled AU fic under the cut

NEW CHAPTER IS UP! I don't think I'll be able to fit this joke in the fic itself cuz it's such a visual one, but I couldn't not make it :3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65714167/chapters/169799509

[nightmarearian]

Turns out, Odysseus thinks hysterically, being on a magic island with a Titan’s child for seven years has… affects.

What the fuck, he thinks. Calypso and Hermes looks just as confused as he feels. (Which rules out that this might be one of Calypso’s schemes. She can’t truly act for the life of her; It’s always in her eyes and she can’t do a long act).

There are scales on his arms. And legs. And neck. And basically everywhere, actually. They come in patches and in different concentrations; The biggest batch is the one already consuming his abdomen, and meeting with the ones growing on his thighs and just generally his legs The other highest concentration is on his elbows, and they spread faster down towards his hands.

They’re a mix of sea-green-blue and gray; Some of the pale-soot colored scales bounce off a warm hazel or sunset-orange in the dappled sunlight that leaks through the trees. The gray - and especially the warm-gray - patches have some dusky gray and sepia feathers peaking out, in between the scales. The most of them are around his neck or from his elbows through his forearms. His hands have grown into aqua tipped webbed claws as well.

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck, he thinks on a loop. As he huffs a hysterical laugh, he can feel his teeth having sharpened into needle point snake-like fangs and on that point - his tongue has thinned into something rough and forked. A snake’s tongue as well. The panic increases. (There are whispers in the wind now, feeling of his dead crew).

His ears twitch as he looks at his reflection in a nearby stream, peacefully running like everything in Ogygia, and - holy mother of Zeus what the fuuuuck

His… ears (can he even call them that? His hearing still seems the same…) have transformed into… fins? They remind him of the sirens’ ears, actually, though a bit wider and thinner. They’re mainly the same sea-green-blue color that the scales decorating mainly his lower half are, only fading into a cool blue gray as they near his head. …Are those more feathers behind his fin-ears??? (Scratchy ghost hands reach out of the water, like they did the River Styx. Not real, not real, he automatically tells himself, ignores them).

He turns back to the two gods, who are still staring at him; He feels his fin-ears(???) dip down in panic.

Hermes at least seems like he’s thinking - and worried - even if Odyseeus can’t see his eyes. He doesn’t want to look at Calypso much for anything, but the quick glance he gives seems to spell a similar expression, if not with a bit of… anger. Or disgust. (He hopes it’s the latter; He still feels a spike of fear at the anger. Nothing good ever came of her, much less of her anger).

(Odysseus doesn’t notice in his hysteria, but as his breathing picks up, his legs fuse together, into a snake tail. Hermes catches the moment).

Hermes seems to have thought of something, as his shoulders drop just the slightest and he slowly floats towards Odysseus, as if he was an unbroken horse (or monster, Odysseus thinks. He did say he’d become the monster but this- this is-), holding his hands in front of him in a placating gesture.

“Calm,” Hermes breathes in soft voice. Odysseus tries to follow the god’s orders. “Calm,” Hermes whispers again.

He’s done this before, he thinks, as he turns his gaze on the grass floor, unfocusing. Despite whatever in his gods forsaken travels or the war. Shut it all off. (turn off your heart, a ghost Athena murmurs behind him. Not real, he knows. Follows anyway. Why didn’t he listen to her all those years ago.)

Odysseus can’t do it as.. cleanly as usually could with the whole… well. But he tampers it down a bit. Evidently at least Hermes is willing to help. (He ignores his thoughts on how Penelope might react). They’ll… figure something out.

He tries to think about it calmer; He can feel his panicked tangled thoughts flow into a familiar, calmer weaving feeling, like whenever he makes a good plan and all it’s variables. Is it a curse from Poseidon? The fins and sea-green make him think that, if not for the feathers that are definitely not part of the Earthshaker’s realm. The feathers actually make him think of Athena but- but she didn’t answer him earlier- or did she? Hermes seemed uncomfortable and oddly tightlipped about… something; Something happening in Olympus, Odysseus can guess that much. Regardless, the most of… this seems to a snake. Snakes are either of Athena, Hermes, or Ares.

“d...eus,”

Odysseus has never even met Ares, that goes to Diomedes, he absentmindedly thinks - only Hermes and Athena, and the silver & sienna scales and feathers are very in their domain, however, Hermes obviously doesn’t know much about it, so he can really only think it’s Athena - the myth of Medusa flashes in his mind - except again, he points out against himself, the fins. They’re so clearly Poseidon, and he knows the both of them - Athena better - enough that he knows they’d rather impossibly die that work together for something as so small as a curse.

“Ood...seuusss,”

But if Poseidon can hold a grudge and he knows Athena well enough to know that she does to, as much as she denies, but still then, why would it be years after - is it cause he called to her?

“Odysseus!” Hermes half yells. The mortal in questions jumps, standing again. …When did he stop standing in the first place …wait a minute was he higher than usual earlier? Think about that later, Odysseus tells himself, shaking off the familiar feeling of fading into his thoughts.

Odysseus looks up towards Hermes, who looks a bit worried, but not as panicked as he did earlier. Odysseus looks back down at himself. There are still some scales and feathers, but considerably less. His hands have dulled down - they’re still sharper than usual, but they’re not claws, and the webbing between them is similarly less.

He feels around his mouth. His tongue is still… forked, but that’s all - still a human tongue otherwise; his fangs are still sharp, though.

“Yesss?” It’s harder to speak with a forked tongue and fangs. There’s a slight hiss and lisp at the end of the word.

Hermes doesn't respond, glancing at Calypso, then Odysseus, then Calypso again before partially turning to her, lips pressed, adopting a colder expression, like he did when he was addressing Calypso earlier, to tell them Odysseus was finally free. Hermes nods his head towards the general direction of Calypso’s ‘home’. Calypso opens her mouth, indignant, but the pressure in the air increases as Hermes’ wings stretch up and out, spreading the feathers in an act Odysseus can somehow instinctively tell is meant to intimidate. Calypso closes her mouth, still looking upset but cowed, and she runs off.

Hermes turns back to him, the wings furling back into resting near the god's ears, pressure in the air lifting. He stares for another moment, before sighing and giving Odysseus a small smile, infinitely softer than his usual mischievous ones.

He floats towards Odysseus (careful and gentle and so much unlike Calypso-) and tucks some of his curls behind his slightly-webbed ears, careful around the scales; he lightly ruffles his head like he used to when Odysseus was so, so much younger.

"Should be fine, my friend," Hermes whispers. "Rises with your emotions, no?" Hermes watches the wheels turn in Odysseus' head. Yeah, Odysseus thinks, mind blank in a good way that it hasn't been in a long while. Okay. He nods. "Smart, kid," Hermes whispers.

One of Hermes' ear-wings twitch, and his head minutely tilts towards Calypso's 'home' before tilting back to Odysseus. Hermes softly runs his hand behind Odysseus' head and leads him towards the beachside. There's a raft bobbing back and forth with the waves.

They're really letting me go, Odysseus walks towards the raft, water splashing against his legs. He turns back to Hermes who- is gone- wait no; Hermes flits back from somewhere, wings fluttering and a moderately large basket full of food, water, and clothing in his hands that he pushes into Odysseus' hands.

The god gently hurries Odysseus onto the ship, and after setting down the basket helps him push the raft into the open sea. With Hermes' help, Odysseus is far enough out to barely see the shape of Calypso, once she made to the coastline; Odysseus turns his head away from her. From Ogygia.

Hermes stays with him for a while, until Ogygia's silhouette is shrouded in fog, fading into sky. Hermes watches it fade away, as Odysseus keeps his eyes trained to the open sea (Captain-).

The messenger god turns back to Odysseus, and hovers in front of him. He lightly ruffles his hair again, and his hand cups the side of his head as Hermes ducks his head down and presses a kiss to his great-grandson's forehead.

"Call my name, and I shall be there," Hermes murmurs with a fond smile. With that, Hermes dissipates in a quiet flutter and feathers.

-

ok. so. this developed into great-grandfather hermes. uhm. yeah. anyway. so, in procrastinating on this I now have a full tag for monster-ody-au, it's called Ithacan Naga AU.

*ody has been dissociating his entire stay on Calypso’s island, besides maybe the first year, where he hadn’t spent enough time to be affected. His heightened emotions at leaving cause the actual affects to show, btw.

So! There's absolutely a ref post with a verrry long conversation in the replies that talks about it but to formally do it/add onto it: > Ody's scales are mainly/usually sea-blue-green to gray/purple, but changes colors based on lighting! > Ogygia isn't meant to be inhabited by normal people (or smth), so after seven years + Calypso's inherent magic (as a titan's daughter) it changes Odysseus into basically what Ithacans/Ody would be if he was greek monster, which is why he doesn't notice it & why it's overall very natural. -> Ithacans would really just be sea-snake nagas with some feathers. Ody is special cause he's a descendent of Hermes (and maybe Zeus) & Athena blessed, so he gets wings. > He's venomous! > He can "unhinge" his jaw (Snakes have an extra[?] bone called a quadratic bone that connects the top half of their skull & their jaw, which lets them extend it more. The jaw is also in two parts & has a stretchy ligament to let it stretch). > Full length naga, Ody is like... 27-33 ft? > He has three pairs of wings, one of the small of his back, near his waist, and the other two on the side of his snake half. > He gets gills! Three near his human ribs, a few several spaced out throughout his snake half.

Small headcannons that make a cameo in this: > Hermes used to hang out with little Odysseus (and Ctimene) before Athena (and Ares) came along and chose Ody (and Mene) > Ody has schizophrenia (and PTSD, by now).

...my battery is about to die & I can't remember anything else so that's all for now

[puraiuddo]

༺JazzProwl Fic Recs༻

— brought to you by puraiuddo -

This is by all means not a complete list of banger JP fics! It's my personal favorites—those fics that lodged themselves in my brain for one reason or another and never left.

Hopefully this list satisfies at least some of the sudden influx of interest for JP fics (and given how well rec'ing a fic turned out last time...) But, nah for real, not to make rec'ing fics fake deep or anything, but I think the fandom would be a better place if people were more unapologetically enthusiastic about fics and less afraid to interact with authors. So if you use this list to find some fics you have to promise to leave some unhinged comments! ٩("•̀ᴗ•́")و ̑̑

But before I start, I want to acknowledge the prevalence of potentially stereotypical depictions of Jazz in regards to his speech (❞), criminal/violent/sexual characterization (▾), or backstory/origins (⟲) in the JP/TF fandom. I've attempted to flag fics with the corresponding symbols above, because I'd like to recognize those problems while still rec'ing for a variety of other fantastic qualities. That said, I'm not infallible so please use your own discretion.

I've also tagged fics with "hiatus" if it's been a while between updates, but the author hasn't made a comment—these fics are especially important to interact with, b/c you never know if the author stopped posting b/c they weren't getting any reviews!

Now, without further adieu...

༺♡❦♡❦♡❦♡ -ˋˏ ♫ ♡ 𓆩𓆪 ˎˊ- ♡❦♡❦♡❦♡༻

༺JazzProwl-centric༻

Mistakes on Mistakes Until— by jabberish

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 280,212 - Alt-War AU』

Ricochet's got a bad case of conscience and he's pretty sure it's about to get him killed. (aka I think I've read every defection/ex-Con au and now I'm forced to make my own. Jazz-centric.)

* (づ ᴗ _ ᴗ)づ♡ The crème de la crème of JP fics. I really can't properly articulate the sheer amount of love and respect I have for MOMU other than that if you haven't read it, your life is worse for it. Go read it. Then read it again. Now. (I've read it 4 times. No, I'm not joking) I love all the fics on this list dearly, but MOMU holds a very special place in my heart. Flawless characterization, flawless dynamics, flawless plot, one-of-a-kind writing style... it's got it all. Of note: I've not flagged it despite its premise, because it will expertly subvert your expectations and you need to read it to understand. Bonus: it's got a lot of well-deserved fanart!

༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻

Untitled Series by Need2Scream

『(2/?) - ffn - Words: 158,064 - War AU - hiatus』

Where the Lonely Ones Roam - 116,327

"Say you have a little faith in me. Just close your eyes and let me lead. Follow me home. Need to have a little trust in me. Just close your eyes and let me lead. Follow me home. To where the lonely ones roam." Eventual Prowl/Jazz

Spark - 41,737 - hiatus

"Chase you deep into the unknown. In my dark, in my dark, you're the Spark."/ "Roam with me, come down to where all of the others fell. Get lost, in the dark to find yourself. Just remember what I said, 'cause it isn't over yet."/SEQUEL to Where the Lonely Ones Roam

*It's not clear by the summary, but the series is essentially about Jazz and Prowl's developing relationship as they overcome war-related trauma, intermingled with a spectacular amount of original lore. See the author's ffn bio for a rundown. The originality and attention to detail in the world building in this AU is awe-inspiring. There are 2 fics in the JP series, but the author has a bunch of other Gen fics set in the same AU and another on ao3. Bonus: some of the Gen fics are Jazz & Prowl-centric and can be read as romantic!

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Crime in Crystals Series by Aard_Rinn

『(7/?) - ao3 - Words: 258,030 - Crime/Hitman AU - hiatus - ▾ ⟲』

The Hitman - 6,942 - pt 1

Prowl is the last clean cop in Praxus, the final flickering light in the darkness. There are plenty of people who would like to see him snuffed.

2. The Clarification, 3. The Kill, 4. The Capture, 5. The Prime, 6. The Talk, 7. The Chase 8. TBD

*The main plot is broken into 7 separate fics, but it's all one continuous story. Read the whole thing! It's on my all time favorites. It's thrilling, tremendously action packed, and the character dynamics are some of my favorites. It's also hysterical and wholesome and I've reread it a stupid amount of times. Bonus: it's got fanart + there are 5 extra fics, including a Jazz-centric prequel, in the same AU.

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War Eternal Series by Hearts of Eternity

『(3/4) - ffn - 2m? idk it's insane - Bayverse War AU - discontinued - ▾ ❞ ⟲』

Where You and I Collide - 362,090 - prequel

Separately, Jazz and Prowl are like forces of nature- they are uncompromising and uncontrollable. But what becomes of their natures when these two unstoppable forces collide? Will one break the other, or will they both be stronger for it?

As We Come Together - 485,586 - pt 2 - Gen

While the surviving Autobots begin to flock to Earth in response to Optimus' call, trying to find a new home on the strange organic planet called Earth, some unfortunate bots are beginning to realize the price of war may have been too high. Sequel to Time

May We Never Let Go - 408,409 - pt 3 - Gen - d/c

Hell literally lies in wait above Earth as the Cybertronians and Earthlings coexist uneasily, rattled by every attack the Fallen and his master launch on them. With new evil rising, the powers that be on Earth and beyond are gearing up for war.

1. As We Come Together, prequel 2: Surface of the Sun

*Long, convoluted explanation coming up given that this series is obviously a whole different beast compared to likely any other fanfic series you or I have ever encountered in our lives... b/c the author is just superhuman or smth idk...

The series is officially listed as 4 parts (WYaIC, WTWHL, AWCT, MWNLG). Where You and I Collide is the JP-centric prequel to the other 3 Gen fics (that have substantial background JP). WTWHL is technically part 1 of the series, but it's sorta more character-focused ficlets than a continuous story... which is why I didn't specifically list it as a rec even if that makes things more confusing... (ᵕ¬ᴗ¬) Also the author didn't list Surface of the Sun as part of the series, but it's a direct prequel (like WYaIC) starring the Lambo twins and it's... oh it's so good... absolutely shatters my heart that it's been d/c'd.

I've not listed an exact world count, b/c if you want to read every bit of the AU with all its prequels and offshoots (which I would highly recommend and have done)... I'm not gonna do the math for you, sorry. The main 4-part story is ~1.7m+ which I realize is frankly insane and extraordinarily intimidating, but it is so sooo sooooo worth it. The author has created their own fully fleshed out TF world with its own lore and characters and the time and effort they've put into is mind-boggling .

Anywho, despite ultimately being d/c'd, the series is still tremendously readable and nothing about JP is left feeling unbearably unfinished. I also happened to track down the lovely author and beg for a summary of the ending, b/c I'm a bit of a freak and they very kindly provided it so if not knowing how a fic ends bothers you/prevents you from reading, you have the option of getting closure even if you can't have it written out.

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Fathomless by Sroloc_Elbisivni

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 19,949 - Fantasy AU - complete』

Jazz is drowning on dry land on the other side of the world. Once upon a time, before Jazz was born, the Rust Sea covered a swathe of Cybertron bigger than the territory of any city-state except Iacon. The sea had been more powerful than any engine besides the one at the heart of the planet itself, big enough to swallow a metrotitan in its depths, the birthplace of storms. Thing is, none of that was Jazz. He doesn’t remember those days, before he was himself, except in his dreams. And his dreams are terrifying.

*This fic makes me feel some type of way... it gives me shivers. It's so eerie and the premise is so unique. It's also beautifully bittersweet, which is a hard concept to pull off.

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The Judge by SilenceoftheLlamas

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 107,653 - Alt-War AU』

Prowl’s got a secret, and he’d rather be dead in the ground before he let anyone find out about it. Jazz’s got one too, but he’s not as good at hiding it. Prowl is a secret superhero, Jazz is a secret fanboy who doesn’t know that he works with the guy. By night Prowl is the virtuous hero The Judge, but by day he’s just an unassuming tactical officer.

*Jazz and Prowl are sorta painfully adorable in this fic and the JP is so sweet it makes my teeth hurt. Plus it's got a really fun premise with lots of shenanigans.

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Black on White on Black Series by pipermca

『(3/?) - ao3 - Words: 86,248 - fix-it, War AU - complete』

Anamnesis - 31,097 - pt 1

When Jazz and his team are lost on a mission, Prowl has to carry on alone. But a discovery a thousand vorn later could turn his life upside down again.

2. The Ghost of the Howling Plains, 3. Pulling Strings

*Super interesting sorta-kinda-fix-it fic and/or explanation for the events and characterizations in IDW. There are 3 stories in the main JP plot line. Bonus: there's 2 "Extras" fics for cut scenes from the main fics.

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Crystal Ghosts Series by Rizobact

『(2/2) - ao3 - Words: 85,688 - Fantasy AU - complete - ⟲』

Enduring as Crystal - 40,517 - pt 1

There were a lot of reasons Prowl visited the library. He never knew the most important one was waiting for him in the garden behind it.

Eternal as Love - 45,171 - pt 2

Prowl promised he would help Jazz, the ghost of the crystal chapel in the garden behind Praxus' central library. He just couldn't anticipate what shape that help would wind up taking.

*Another super unique premise! I love a good historical mystery and the imagery is specularly evocative! And I'm a sucker for the trope... which I can't reveal, because of spoilers.

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Untitled Series by Vaeru

『(2/2) - ffn - Words: 10,766 - War AU - complete - ❞』

Descant - 7,925 - pt 2

G1/Jux compliant. Requiem sequel. Prowl doubted that his desired image of Respected Superior Officer came across very well with a half-scrapped mech clinging to his hand, but he loomed as best as he was able and glared.

*Requiem is Jazz-centric and I'd say more of a prequel to Descant than Descant is a sequel to Requiem... if that makes any sense. Regardless of how you view it or what order you read it, it's fucking brutal. (-‿-“) Bonus: author also wrote another really great fic called Transformers: Juxtaposition which is Lambo twin-centric and OC-centric, but perhaps one of the only OC fics that I've ever enjoyed.

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Domino Milkshake by SilenceoftheLlamas

『oneshot - (1/?) - ao3 - Words: 24,886 - War AU - complete - ❞』

Jazz drunkenly pretends that he's dating Prowl. Only he isn't, and the mech is right behind him.

*It's a fake dating AU... what more can I say? I love the the begrudging developing romance and the meddling friends. Bonus: it's got fanart!

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Hunter's Spark by WandersUnderStarlight

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 43,645 - Alt-War AU - ❞』

Jazz disobeys orders to abandon the ruins of Praxus and runs into one of the Senate's dirty secrets.

*This author also has a few more JP fics that I enjoy like An Offer He Can't Refuse and Long Patrol. I gotta offer aisclaimer though: the fics are... fairly cliche and a bit OOC. Hunter's Spark is much more tame than the other two, though. They're all sorta a guilty pleasure of mine, because it's fun to enjoy Prowl being a bit of a BAMF and Jazz being a bit of a damsel on occasion even if objectively I understand why it's not everyone's cup of tea. ("￣▽￣";)ゞ But the author definitely deserves credit for creative and entertaining premises and a really nice writing style!

༺☆★☆★☆★-ˋˏ ♫ ♡ 𓆩𓆪 ˎˊ-★☆ ★☆★☆༻

༺General༻

Little Brother by Meiza

『oneshot - ffn - Words: 64,542 - War AU - discontinued』

Prowl is infamous for being a logical, nigh emotionaless thinker who's better at battle calculations than interpersonal relationships. How he was roped into taking care of the last survivor of Praxus is anyone's guess.

*Prowl & Bluestreak centric, but Jazz has a solid amount of screentime. The subplot is pre-relationship, co-parenting JazzProwl and it's cute as hell. It's not 'officially' discontinued, but it hasn't been updated since 2010... so... At least it doesn't end in a cliffhanger. (╥﹏╥|||)

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Things We Don't Tell Humans by SineadRivka

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 363,057 - Bayverse War AU - complete』

This was a first for us Autobots; never before have we come in contact with a species like these humans, so eerily similar to our own race and twice as tenacious as Sparklings. The question was, how far can we trust the humans with our culture? Some things have translated between cultures without much effort. Other subjects, however…

*Please note the tags! Also... I'll be honest that I mostly skip to the JP parts and main plot points in this fic as it's about a very ensemble cast and I'm not interested in TF humans ... so I can't entirely vouch for the integrity of the whole thing. (￢ω￢;)

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Echoes of Messatine by MlleMusketeer

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 303,863 - Alt-War AU - complete - ▾ 』

Cybertron hurtles toward war, and only a handful of mecha see it. Not Megatron, whose inflammatory writings gain him agonizing attention from those on high. Not Ratchet, the Iacon Medical Center’s most prized practitioner, whose Dead-End clinic remains the worst-guarded secret on Cybertron. Not Overlord, whose iron hold over Cybertron’s underworld is beginning to falter. Not Orion Pax, whose concern over the sudden silence of one of his favorite writers drives him to take up his hero’s pen. Not Terminus, who only wants to survive. But Trepan and Senator Shockwave both know well what’s coming. One aims to use a defiant miner’s fall to crush the aspirations of the masses. The other wants to use that miner’s triumph to ignite them. Neither much cares about Megatron himself, or his ultimate survival. Therein lies their fatal error.

*Not clear from the summary, but the premise is essentially "what if Megatron got the matrix instead of OP" and how their pre-war lives would have to pan out for them to ultimately switch roles. Just a really fascinating, supremely well-done "what-if" fic, but also probably the weirdest one to put on this particular list, b/c JP turns into megatron/JP at the very, very end... but... I just kinda ignore that development since it happens in like almost literally in the last chapter and you can def read it as friendship up until that point... (¬⤙¬ ᵕ)

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༺Mature༻

*listen... don't @ me. They're definitely saucy, but they're not explicit. Yada, yada... hey minors, don't read these! ...But we all know you will so just don't talk to me or anyone else about it, cool? Cool. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

Intermission by crabapplered

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 5,049 - War AU - complete - ▾』

As the war stretched on for interminable vorn, Prowl found himself faced time and again with the mounting stress of his position. Many of those times he was forced to face alone, the gear grinding stress sending him to Ratchet for system overhauls and forced defrags. But every so often he'd be fortunate enough to have Jazz on hand, and when he did, well, it didn't take much. Pressing Jazz up against the wall, cramming him into corners, pinning him facedown over Prowl's desk. It didn't matter as long he could keep Jazz still.

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Audition by crabapplered

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 12,783 - War AU - complete - ▾』

If one were to be delicate, one would say that Jazz and Prowl are incompatible. The blunt truth? 'You just lie there with this blank expression on your face,' he'd been told by his last partner. Signal had stayed longer then most, willing to try since Prowl was so obviously doing his best, interfacing to please his partner and give him what Prowl himself disliked. In the end, though, it hadn't worked. 'You don't like me touching you, you don't like the mess, you don't even like the overload, and half the time I swear you're running economic simulations in your CPU you look that bored. I don't want that. I don't want you miserable, and I don't want me miserable, either.' So why can't Prowl stop wishing?

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That's all, folks.

ദ്ദി(｡•̀ω-)✧ ~Happy reading!

and for the shit tumblr search/tag system, i offer: #jazzprowl #jazzprowl recs #jazz x prowl #jazzprowl fic recs #jazzprowl fanfic recs #tansformers fic recs #tf jazzprowl #tf fic recs

[dreadfutures]

The Brave Guide, Ch 91 - Lathbora Viran

As they care for the rescued child, Ixchel reflects on the different ways her companions have learned to nurture life. For Vivienne, Merrill, Mahariel, and Solas, this kind of care walks hand in hand with grief.

“Mythal’enaste,” Halevune swore. “Do you think…?”

He could not seem to bring himself to finish that sentence, but he did not need to. His words had already conjured the possibilities in Ixchel’s mind, each more heartbreaking than the last. She knew that Solas had been loved before, and loved in return; perhaps Felassan had not been the only one. Who else had he lost to war, to time? An empire, certainly—maybe his whole world, in more than one sense.

Ixchel’s stomach churned. “You would know what force it takes to separate a parent from their child for long,” she said raggedly. “I don’t know all the details of his past, but I know tragedy lies at the heart of it.”

Halevune let out a heavy sigh. “I would not wish this on my worst enemy,” he said. “I can’t let the thought even enter my mind that…” He shook his head. “It’s not how it’s s’posed to happen. Whatever life I have, I’d give it all for his. The idea of living on, in a future that should be his…”

“Lethallin,” Ixchel whispered.

The Brave Guide is a canon-divergent Dragon Age longfic. It continues the story of Dead Pasts and Dread Futures, in which Lavellan was sent back in time against her will after the Dread Wolf’s plans destroyed the world.

The series follows Inquisitor Ixchel Lavellan and her battle to find hope for herself, and hope for Thedas. As the world ends, Ixchel is resurrected under mysterious circumstances and is sent back in time to the Conclave. Ixchel is furious, convinced of her own futility, and yet she cannot give up again. These are the stories of how she gets better.

[Read from the Beginning] | [Current Chapter] | [TLDR] | [Other Fics]

[avidredux]

to ring in the new month, here's a short lil fanfic I wrote at the beginning of April but didn't post. I'm shooing it out of my house now so it stops taunting me

hope you enjoy! no content warnings aside from some light swearing, 1.8k words

It was shameful how he’d lost the argument, really. In the end it hadn’t taken Wind’s massive, hopeful eyes, nor Wild’s obnoxious wheedling. That night around the inn’s hearth, Twilight had lost this battle the moment he noticed Legend silently staring at him with wide eyes, and a pointed glare.

Do not, the glare said. I swear to the Golden Three, you are dead if you say yes.

Twilight had no choice, really. How unfortunate.

The next morning was crisp and clear. Sounds drifted from the town they lie on the outskirts of, market already bustling. Wind chattered excitedly with Warriors, who looked a little anxious himself. Four sat on the ground, having pulled out his kinstone bag, but seemed more lost in thought than sorting the colorful fragments. Hyrule and Wild were caught in a discussion that seemed to be theories on who would be what. Time shot him a look from afar, and once he had Twilight’s attention, jerked his head in the direction of Legend and Sky, both of whom were near the tree line a short distance away. Nodding briefly, Twilight made his way over.

Legend, seated at the root of a tree, noticed his arrival, and sent a poison-filled look his way. Sky rose from a kneel and turned, giving him a much friendlier smile. He looked torn between sympathy for Legend’s plight and amusement.

“Hey, Rancher,” Sky greeted. “Someone’s not very happy with you.” His smile widened just a bit at Legend’s huff at their feet.

“You don’t have to touch it again, y’know,” Twilight said. Legend’s head jerked up to level him with yet another glare.

“I can say no,” Legend hissed through somewhat grit teeth. “But only technically. If I refuse to touch that damn crystal of yours, they will never shut UP about it!” He pointed fiercely in the direction of the remaining Chain, some looking over at the sound of his outburst. “They will never let me live it down, I will be pestered until this adventure ends and we all go home; they will ask and ask and ask and, worse yet! They’ll try to figure it out! It’s bad enough the two of you get to mock me behind my damn back, I don’t want to give the sailor or Goddesses forbid the Captain any help.”

Sky’s eyebrows rose and his cheeks dusted pink. Twilight lifted his hands placatingly, and put on his most understanding voice.

“I won’t let that stand, trust me. If they pester you over it, they’ve gotta deal with me, alright?” Distantly, Twilight felt a little guilty, a little hypocritical. Legend only felt this way because of Twilight, who in turn only agreed to the whole thing because he wanted to see Legend squirm. Maybe this had been a bad idea; maybe this was immature, a bit too far.

“Yeah, Vet,” Sky chimed in, “If you want, I can refuse too? It might throw them off your trail, and if I really want to know, maybe the three of us could go off and try it later.”

Legend’s glare turned contemplative, though still with an edge.

“Fine,” he said, as he stood roughly. He turned to point at Twilight and Sky. “But only because if I say no now, they’ll still get on me about why.” He stalked back to the rest of the group, Twilight and Sky following behind. Sky shot him a hesitantly hopeful look, and Twilight gave him a tired smile in return. Maybe Sky had the right idea. Maybe it would be okay.

Legend was peeved, deeply peeved, but it was fine, it was going to be fine, Sky was supposedly going to be a good sport about it and everything would be fine. In his stewing, he failed to notice a presence approaching him as the Chain walked through the woods to a clearing they’d found during yesterday’s patrol. A hand landed on his shoulder, shaking him out of his thoughts and sending him careening back into his body. His eyes caught Hyrule’s.

“Sooo,” Hyrule started, a mischievous smile on his face. “Wild and I were—”

“I’m not doing it,” Legend said in a low voice.

“—talking about what you’re-gonna-turn-in-to,” Hyrule rushed as his voice petered out. “Why not?” He didn’t seem accusatory, more so he seemed disappointed he wouldn’t get to win a bet; even so, Legend bristled.

“Sky isn’t doing it either,” he said, hotly. “Neither of us want to. We don’t have to.”

Hyrule hummed. “I supposed that’s fair.” A smile lit up his face. “If you want, I can help take the heat off of you guys and say I don’t want to either. I’m sure since Twilight already agreed, he’d let me try it in private.”

Legend nearly stopped walking. Was Hryule being serious? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all, maybe he really would get to walk away from this whole situation unscathed.

“Thank you, Traveler,” he croaked, a little shocked at how much he meant it. Hyrule patted his back.

“No problem, Vet.”

Warriors followed along the path to the break in the woods they’d found yesterday. With any luck, it was once again infested with monsters, and they would all be too tired and achy to want to tamper with the little charm around Twilight’s neck. He'd half paid attention to Twilight discussing its power to the Chain last night, in between his own racing thoughts; from what he gathered, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know what he would become. It was tantalizing and terrifying. His innermost self on display for everyone. He trusted them, more than he trusted most! But Warriors wasn't sure he trusted even himself to see what that charm would do. He wondered if he could say no without being heckled. He peeked over his shoulder, did a headcount, made a small mental note that Hyrule seemed to be going from Link to Link and having hushed conversations with them; he made another follow up note to ignore his paranoia over it. He faced forward once more, hoping the shadows would be kind to him, if nothing else.

Four was absolutely not touching that thing. He wasn’t sure he wanted anyone else touching that thing, either. Twilight understood and trusted its magic, better than Four did anyway. And Four could put aside his distrust in it so long as Twilight stayed vigilant (though that did not mean he was happy about it). To recklessly allow each of them a chance at touching it, a chance at being enveloped by shadow; it didn’t matter what the Master Sword could do—it was a dangerous idea.

What if it took someone’s right mind? What if, for whatever reason, the Master Sword didn’t work to restore their true form? Hell, what if it was just viscerally uncomfortable? Four would not be touching it. Four would fight like hell in that clearing to keep anyone else from touching it, too.

The clearing was up ahead, within eyesight now. Something sour turned in Legend’s stomach, anxiety he’d thought had been quelled by his talk with Hyrule reigniting tenfold. He recognized it as the same fear he’d felt when approaching Sky after his run-in with the crystal. A sense of impending doom. He hadn’t even touched it and he already felt small, powerless. He could not let them all see that part of him. With every step, he felt closer to that very fate.

They all eventually came to a halt, and began settling in. Wild dished out a late breakfast, and everyone fell into near silence as they ate. It was like a switch had flipped. Wind hadn’t uttered a word about the crystal, Wild was no longer discussing others’ forms and was instead focused on his slate; hardly anyone seemed remotely excited anymore.

What the hell?

He caught Hyrule’s eye across camp, where he sat under a tree with Time. Hyrule winked.

Twilight finished his meal and rose from his seat next to Wild. He moved to the center of their camp, and held out the Shadow Crystal by its rope.

“Who’s going first?” he asked, ready for Wind to spring out of his seat. At the silence, he began to look around at each of them in turn. All of them remained quiet. Wind was obviously trying to play off excitement as nonchalance, so Twilight gestured the Crystal in his direction. Wind simply shook his head.

“I’m… not sure I want to, actually,” he said, unconvincingly. Next to him, Four balked.

“Okay,” Twilight said, trying to keep confusion out of his voice. “Anyone else? Wild?” Another shaking head.

“I’m good,” he said in much more convincing cadence than Wind, with an easygoing smile to top it off. “Just kind of thought it was a fun idea, not too sure I want to be an animal, though. Don’t want fleas.” He gave Twilight a look that said, you know, like you do. Twilight took mild offense to that and decided to move on.

“So… no one wants to try it now?” Twilight tried one last time. Various heads shook, muttered no’s and maybe later’s filled the camp. His hand dropped to his side, Crystal dangling from its rope innocently.

“It’s probably for the best anyway,” Four said, his trademarked I’m right and you should know it tone to his voice.

Twilight was lost for words. He looked to Legend, who seemed just as shocked. Warriors had at some point seemingly deflated across the log he sat on, seeming less anxious than he had all day. Hyrule smiled smugly beside Time, who also seemed quite satisfied. Sky seemed confused by the sudden change of plans, but ultimately unbothered.

Okay, then. What the hell. He spent over thirty minutes the night before trying to talk them out of this, and here they all were after a whole night and morning of hubbub, suddenly disinterested.

“Really?” he asked, incredulous. He couldn’t help it; he had to press for answers. “After all this excitement and walking. Suddenly, none of you want to try?”

“Well,” said Wind, hesitantly. He looked at Hyrule nervously. “I kind of really wanted to, but Traveler told me he was really nervous about it and I didn’t want him to feel singled out. So… I offered not to touch it.”

“Me, too,” Wild admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Mhm,” Time hummed, nodding and patting Hyrule on the back. Hyrule, for his part, flushed and ducked his head, an awkward chuckle escaping him.

Warriors did nothing but heave a relieved sigh from his sprawl on his log.

Legend gawked for a moment, and then opted to act like nothing of interest was happening in the slightest.

“Should we just… forget about this?” suggested Four, hopefully. “Maybe not the best idea to turn people into things they shouldn’t be? Or mess with magic like that when a lot of us have never dealt with it before?”

Twilight’s shoulders slumped. He couldn’t tell if it was relief or defeat. Looking at Legend, who, for the first time since the conversation last night, wasn’t glaring, he figured maybe it was relief. He’d rather everyone be mildly disappointed than unsafe, after all.

“I—yeah,” Twilight said. “Let’s just forget it for now.”

These people would be the death of him. Truly.

[desertduality]

Trustfall

Ao3

Just a little thing I wrote to explore the Jimmy and Scar dynamic. Set loosely after session two. Enjoy! <3

Night comes, and Scar can't hide from his feelings anymore. They catch up to him - like everything does, eventually. Scar can never run fast enough.

He's on another mountain, this one green and pink and bright, bordered by tall shoots of bamboo and topped with cherry blossom trees, decorated with growing wheat fields and pens that - sometimes - house sheep and cows. It's all so... alive. So beautiful. So fragile.

The beauty of it is not the surprising part. It's not even that he spent the better part of the day eating dirt or leaves or shovels. No, the strangest thing on the mountain is the people. The strangest thing about them is that they're there at all. With Scar. On purpose.

He can't quite figure it out. The why of it. Jimmy had made it look so easy to say he would stay, like he couldn't think of a million reasons not to. And then Lizzie, who he had invited, and then still been surprised to see her there when he got back. They do it without obligation. Scar had almost forgotten what that felt like.

Neither of them are tethered to him by fate or bound by an oath. They're just there, bright and silly and constant. He'd had something close to it, once, with the allies he'd jokingly called his family, but that had been... messy.

Jimmy and Lizzie make caring about him feel like something simple.

Tell me about your theme park idea, Lizzie had said, and he had. He'd braced himself for- for something. For dismissal. For a roll of the eyes.

A good theme park has three things. Lizzie had mused instead. We need rides, decorations, and a mascot. I think one of us here has real mascot energy.

Jimmy's face had lit up. Lizzie had built three birds at the entrance to their base, standing proudly. Scar stares at them now, shadowy figures in the dark. They're a team. And as much as Lizzie jokes and groans about what a handful the two of them are, they're still equals. They understand each other. Lizzie knows what it's like to be alone, overlooked. Jimmy knows what it's like to be seen as a burden, a joke.

Somehow, despite everything, they trust each other. It's terrifying.

"Stargazing?"

Scar jumps at the voice, a quiet yelp escaping his throat before he can stop it. He twists his torso to look, a jerky motion, and lays eyes on Jimmy, who seems a bit apologetic. "Ah, sorry-"

"Geez, Jimmy, oh my god," Scar says through wheezing breaths, hand pressed to his chest. "This is the life series, man, you can't sneak up on- on a man in thought!"

"Right, sorry, sorry," Jimmy continues, laughing a little bit. "Thought you heard me walk over."

Jimmy sits down next to him, clothes rumpled from bed. It's quiet, fireflies blinking and crickets chirping in the distance. The moon is nearly full, high in the sky. It's early enough in the game that a full nights sleep is still an option. And yet-

"Couldn't sleep?" Jimmy asks, tone light but genuine.

"Oh, you know," Scar says, humming. "Stomach ache. Dirt doesn't agree with me. Who knew?"

"Yeah, glad that one's over." Jimmy stretches his legs out in front of him. "Think I chipped a tooth. I'm billing Grian."

Scar laughs quietly, mindful of Lizzie snoring just a few yards away. That's another thing he's not quite used to: sleeping with others nearby. It's comforting. He's afraid he'll get used to it.

They sit in silence for a while, comfortable and secure. Their frankly absurd amount of bamboo rustles in the gentle wind, cherry blossom petals perpetually raining down around them. It's the kind of perfect peace that has Scar waiting on the other shoe to drop.

"...What was winning like?" Jimmy asks eventually, voice soft.

"...I don't know," Scar says. "It didn't really feel like winning. It was kind of just, like. Sad."

"Sad?"

"Yeah." Scar sighs, leaning back to look at the stars. "I thought it might make me feel better, to just- to prove that I could."

Jimmy hums like he's really listening, like he understands, and Scar... Something settles. Something that has been flinching for a very long time goes still.

"I was tired of being alone," he admits. "Still am. I end up that way a lot."

"Not this time," Jimmy says, a lopsided smile on his face. "Not on my watch."

He places a comforting hand on Scar's shoulder. Grounding. Real.

Oh, Scar thinks. This is what it's like to have something to lose.

"You sure it's not too early to say that?" Scar asks, half teasing. "You might be running for the hills a week from now. I'm not- I'm not an easy teammate."

"Hey, me neither, pal." Jimmy nudges him, smile a bit jagged at the edges. "I'm known for dying early. I've got issues with longevity."

"They make medicine for that."

"Wh- Scar!"

Scar doubles over, wheezing uncontrollably. Jimmy follows helplessly, in a way that almost sounds painful. It continues for a while, until Lizzie makes a small noise in her sleep, and the two of them choke back their laughter to something manageable, tapering back into silence. Scar feels... happy. He feels happy. It's...

"How about you?" Scar asks. "Anything you want to get off your chest? Just between us. And the giant parrot statues."

"Ehh, I don't know," Jimmy says playfully, eying the parrots suspiciously. "I don't know if I trust 'em."

"And me?"

"You?" Jimmy glances sideways at him, eyes light and honest. "Of course. We're the Bam Boys."

Trust is something that Scar had thought he'd killed a long time ago. Jimmy offers it anyway. It's like a lighthouse in a storm. The sun to a flower. Water in a desert.

Trust. Just this once, Scar vows not to break it.

"So," Scar says, like nothing just happened. "Anything?"

Jimmy exhales shakily, looking away, down at his hands. There's dirt under his fingernails. Scar waits.

"I don't want to die first," Jimmy says, a faint tone of embarrassment in his voice. "I know it's like, a thing, but I really..."

Canary, they call him. A creature whose purpose is to die.

Scar knows a thing or two about unwanted titles. He sometimes feels like the role of Villain is still branded onto his skin, with the way some people look at him.

I don't want to die, cries the Canary, but the miner only pays attention when the singing stops.

"You won't," Scar says, as close to a promise as he can get. "Not this time. Not on my watch."

Jimmy grins crookedly, something relieved at the corners of his eyes. "That right?"

"That's right."

They go back to bed.

[lighthouseshepard]

some jupeter, set a little after the start of season 3 maybe. i started thinking about clothing and sharing it and causally judging the outfits of others, and wondered what that might look like from nureyev's point of view c:

"What do you think of this one, Juno?"

Juno eyes the passerby. His peek over my shoulder is not as inconspicuous as he might think, but what he lacks in subtly he makes up for in his own brand of charm. One might think he never learned how to openly study someone without putting his entire heart on display "Pass."

"What?" I say in mild affront. "Her attire is quite literally perfect. Those long legs accentuated by the length of her skirt, the blue trim of her jacket-"

"Oh, you would point out the blue," he scoffs.

"What's wrong with blue? I happen to enjoy the color of most planetary skies, you know. There's so much variation on the shade, all that wide open space."

He rolls his eye at me. I suffer through his annoyance knowing there's no real merit to it. "Yeah, so you've said. What about them?"

I try to follow the point of his finger in the crowd just beyond our reach. "Who?"

"Right there, next to the guy whose expression suggests he's in a constant state of stubbing his big toe and the trash can someone probably pisse-"

"Charming city," I mumble. "How long are we down here again for?"

Juno shrugs. "Until Jet finds the part he needs for the Carte Blanche, I guess. It isn't that bad down here. We can always hop back in the Ruby and head up again, if you want."

"No, no. As much as I adore Rita, I can only take so much pressuring to watch the latest episode of Octo-Horse."

"Yeah, that one's too weird even for me. Besides," he adds, and I feel him slip his calloused hand in mine, "the break from everyone else is nice, right?"

Truthfully, the thought of having the ship, idling silent and unseen far above our heads, mostly to ourselves didn't sound entirely unappealing. With Jet on the hunt, our Captain and Vespa stocking up on other necessary supplies at a nearby market, our cramped little home was nearly abandoned. If Rita were deep in the plot of some stream, she might hardly notice us drop in at all, light as two giddy school children sneaking past an off limits door.

I allow myself a moment to look over to him, entertaining the thought. I've been doing that a lot as of late - casting glimpses in his direction when I think he's not paying attention, hoping to study him under the guise of a polite smile, a mischievous wink. Hoping to better understand the man he's become in my absence. This is the problem with Juno Steel: he was always paying attention. I worried how much he would see of me in return if I stared too long, how many files and folders of what I'd so meticulously tucked away he might take and dump all over the floor at my feet.

But here, his focus occupied by our little game, he's distracted enough for now. I take in the scar on his cheek, the long sweep of his lashes, the warm glint of an eye he doesn't seem to bemoan the loss of anymore. He's relaxed, like all which lies ahead of us doesn't bother him at all. I envy his ability to adapt while remaining true to who he is. He shouts down the world with a determination I've come to admire, as though he alone could change its course with enough willpower.

I could take him up there, yes. Steal away for a while, shut out the rest of the world. I knew his bed aboard the ship better than my own. As much as I wanted suddenly to keep him all to myself, tell him everything I was thinking in vulnerable whispers in the dark, I decide against it. He's prettier in the sun these days compared to the dim I found him first in. A small, stubborn beacon in his own right, drawing me in over and over to shore.

"Right," I murmur. For a moment I'm too taken aback by the strength of my own emotions to say anything else. My fingers tighten around his. He smiles up at me, squinting in the sun's glare.

"You never answered my question."

"Hmm? Oh, right. Yes, a rubix cube is an old Earth toy and while I don't know how quickly it takes to solve one on average I think your two minutes was quite impressive-"

"No. Ha. Not that." He points. "What they're wearing."

"Oh! Yes, of course." I study the newest target, still standing in the same spot. My opinion is instant. "Hideous."

"Come on," Juno complains, "really? All that green? You wouldn't wear it?"

"Hardly." I sniff. "If it were sheer, maybe."

"Alright, what about..." He trails off as he scans the street. Patiently I lean back into the wall behind us, watching him pick someone at random. I could do this forever, if time allowed me.

"Okay. That person, right there."

Our faces scrunch up into mutual expressions of disdain. "Horrible," I say before I can stop myself. "Possibly the worst outfit I've seen all afternoon."

"Finally," Juno says in exasperation. "We agree on one. What is that?"

"The color? A cross between the fog of a Neptunian windstorm and whatever mud currently is stuck under the soles of my shoes."

He chuckles, shaking his head. Delight from him doesn't come often enough, and when it does I'm always taken aback by the youth of its nature. "It's terrible, right?"

"Atrocious. I can't stand the sight."

"See, our tastes aren't entirely different, Nureyev."

"Perhaps not."

I glance down to the collar of my shirt - his shirt, a little too loose on my frame, which he somehow still hadn't noticed I was wearing beneath my jacket. Knowing him, this new version of him, perhaps he knew very well and was going to let me wear it without saying anything at all. I was doing much the same, after all. My earring currently hung from his left ear, a small golden star I'd spent two days hunting for. He wasn't trying to hide it.

I squeeze his palm, momentarily mesmerized not by the light glinting off the metal, but by a feeling so grand I don't try to catalogue it. "No, perhaps not."

[cacospirit]

no rest for the Veilguard

Rook: So… thank you all for coming here, I’m glad we could get the entire team gathered here in the dining hall. Unfortunately, I have to start off by saying… whatever I told you in order to get you to come here isn’t true. This is an intervention

Harding: So we’re not planning Assan’s birthday party?

Rook: No, that was a lie

Harding: Aww

Rook: The real reason… yes Harding, you don’t have to raise your hand, just… say it

Harding: Can we still plan Assan’s birthday when this is over? 

Rook: Sure. I don’t know when his birthday is, but we’ll figure it out

Harding: When is Assan’s birthday?

Davrin: I don’t know

Harding: You don’t know when Assan’s birthday is??

Davrin: No I… they didn’t tell me when I got him! I never really thought of it as something important 

Harding: Of course it’s important, it’s his birthday!

Assan: *agreeing squawks* 

Rook: Ok but you see this is exactly why I gathered you here, this… this behavior right here is screaming lack of focus . We’re going up against gods yet a lot of you seem just… a little bit off, just a little bit off balance. Almost as if there’s something lacking in the way you all look after your basic needs. And what could that possibly be…. 

Taash: How should we know, you’re the one that brought us here

Rook: No Taash, that’s… I wasn’t looking for an answer I was just setting up my next point

Taash: if you don't want an answer then you shouldn't be asking questions 

Rook: Sleep! You are all lacking sleep! And don’t act like this is a surprise, because you all know damn well it’s true. You’ve been neglecting this… very important part of your self care for way too long. It ends…. and it ends now . By the end of this meeting I am going to have made sure you’re getting your full hours of rest or so help me Maker  

Bellara: That’s … a bit much isn't it? It can’t be that bad 

Rook: That’s where you’re wrong, Davrin, lock the doors 

Davrin: You got it boss

Rook: No one is leaving this room until we figure out everyone’s sleep schedule 

Bellara: Oooh that’s fun, it’s like ... continue reading

[queenofshenanigans]

🐉 - Steve finds a dragon in his closet.

And the party has entered the chat walkie-talkie

For more context, there are other snippets in this tag

Lucas was next. “What color is Code Dragon? Would that be a Code Red? Over?” “I think it depends what color dragon, or if it’s a chromatic or metallic. Eddie, is it chromatic or metallic? Is this for a campaign? Over?” Will sounded sleepy, but excited. “You’re all nerds. I’m not saying over.” Max’s voice came through last, with El giggling in the background. They were having a girl’s night, Steve remembered, but he was pretty sure he’d heard Lucas there too. He really didn’t want to know why Lucas was invited to girls’ night, and reminded himself the kids were seventeen now and there were probably a lot of things he didn’t want to know. “You just said over, over,” Mike bitched. Will was giggling in his background. “Eddie, what is going on? Over?” “Dustin’s turned himself into a dragon, so we have a Code Dragon. Over.”

My inbox is still open...

[clowningaroundmars]

i know this has probably been said a million times already before but it really strikes me how asexual hannibal is as a show overall now that i'm on my 4th rewatch

hannibal himself doesn't ever seem to lust after anyone in any way aside from will (and their love for each other is far from the typical amatonormative conventions society likes to impose on ppl)

we only see hannibal have sex with one person and it's only as a means to an end

hannibal clearly favors platonic connections over sexual and romantic ones, or at least shows his attraction in... very different ways than what's considered "normal", but his insistence that will is his friend despite stating multiple times that he loves him is very telling

and in the first few eps, jack asks will why the minnesota shrike would target young brunette girls. he throws out theories and suggests sexual motives, maybe? but there were no traces of semen on the body anywhere and then that's when will EXPLODES and firmly shuts the theory down by stating "no, he wouldn't disrespect her like that!"

will actually got to live the "normal" married life with a wife and a kid for 3 years but that was simply not enough. at the 1st chance he got, he freed hannibal from prison after hopping on a boat to see him in italy

mads himself (in an interview that i forgot the origins of LOL sorry) said will and hannibal most likely would never let their relationship "become physical"

their love and connection and yearning are SO DEEP that it defies typical parameters of relationships not just bc they're gay, but bc their love transcends any need for the dog and pony show that romance and sex often demands. they literally don't even need to have sex to deepen their relationship

in hannibal's words: "the very sight of you nourishes me"

[velociraptorsaurusrex]

forgive me if this exact posts exists somewhere already I feel like it certainly could. but the thing about dtamhd is that the fantasy of removing the heart is not actually “violent.” he removes a man’s heart but does it with no great force; the man does not die or even react; there is a stillness and peace and even gentleness to that scene. I just do not believe Dennis engages with this fantasy on the level of “violence.”

by the same token Dennis does not see remaking & strictly controlling & criticizing the self as “violent” — he sees these things through a clinical lens, with a sense of cold necessity, and even with that gentleness — it’s what needs to be done, and it’s a kindness to do it. he additionally does not truly have a “beauty is pain/suffering” mindset because he perceives the control, restriction, & criticality, again, not as violence — but in this case a more neutral type of “effort.” he believes successfully performing this “effort” begets the “reward” of beauty/perfection.

in conclusion I ultimately do not believe dtamhd serves as definite evidence that Dennis relishes in the fantasy of or materially desires violence, because in his mind it is not “violence” the way we perceive it.