#might post my song tier ranking later

[dorizardthewizard]

HSM (2006) rewatch pt 16 (final)

16: WHAT TEAM?

Yaaay champions! I like how he actually fakes right and breaks left in the game haha

We don’t get to see Gabriella winning though, but I imagine a scholastic decathlon win wouldn’t look so interesting

AND THE COCKBLOCK COUNTER STARTS NOW! : 1

This will be more relevant in the second movie

And yes I'm going to read too much into Chad breaking them up

Chad: So, you're going with me to the after-party, right? Taylor: Like on a date? Chad: Must be your lucky day!

Smooth, Chad, real smooth. Although I wish we could have gotten some moments of them actually becoming more close because it’s kind of out of nowhere? It's like they said, here’s the black best friend characters. Obviously we should just pair them up, no need to actually develop that everyone should get it.

^ For reference, it took like a few minutes of screentime for us to buy into Troy and Gabriella being into each other, so they really could have squeezed something in like, maybe during their talk when they realised they fucked up? They could have a genuine moment there.

Also quick fast forward but I read in an interview with Monique I think that she had the idea of giving Taylor a Britney-inspired outfit for the last scene, and yeah it's a pretty nice touch! A mix between preppy but also showing her letting loose.

I didn't clock that outfit at all at first though because I'm used to seeing school uniform in my country asdjhsf

Anyway yeah it’s too sudden for Sharpay to suddenly be cool with everyone now, but I don’t really care because they had no idea how big this movie would become and that they’d get sequels so I get why they wrapped that up quickly.

Awww Zeke! You gotta let it go man, there’s plenty of girls out there who will appreciate your cookies. Why does Sharpay reply “ew” to cookies what 😭😭 adding this to my lesbian Sharpay agenda

But Ryan picks them up at least and congratulates Zeke, he’s also wearing red so… supportive? Ok I see you Lucas I see what you were trying to do and I’m sorry Disney wouldn’t let you do it, but I do still find it hilarious how these little moments just get completely overshadowed by THAT scene in HSM2 LMAO

Aww Kelsi looking happy but awkward, same. Looks like everyone had an outfit change! She’s the playmaker! Troy’s like Kelsi fan number one and their friendship is so underrated honestly, he’s always lifting her up. Which must have been crazy for Kelsi, in the novelisation during their first interaction she’s like “THE Troy Bolton is being nice to me holy shit??”

Kelsi’s reaction is so funny though like, yeah I too would be like “Thanks!! Errr what do I do with this now I don’t know anything about basketball? Do I shoot it for fun? But I’ll probably flop and lose the ball, how long am I supposed to carry it for? Can I just… leave it to the side? Put it away I mean they’re gonna need it again? But I don’t want to look like I don’t appreciate it?????” This is what my brain is like during every single unscripted social interaction I engage in btw

Jason noticing her being a bit awkward and helping her shoot the ball is sweet, he’s just like that. Not a huge fan of taking her hat off though, I know it’s like this ooooh she’s letting loose moment but…. she had it on during Breaking Free when she’d just stood up to Sharpay and she was all energetic and confident during the performance, she’s all about her hats let her wear her hat! It comes off as the “oooooohhh this nerdy girl with questionable fashion sense is actually really beautiful if she just presents more conventionally!” trope

And now the final song! I've given up on making passable screencaps

I love watching the extras in this one because they’re obviously professional dancers and they just show everyone up, especially in that bit once the end credits start rolling. Ryan slays in this too, and happy to see Martha freely dancing there! As for the song itself, it’s iconic of course. For my personal listening tastes though, it's just a liiiittle too cheesy and for the kids. That’s what they were going for, with a pretty learnable choreography and all. Which is fine! It’s just not something I’d listen to much in my free time. I’m also haunted by another vine where these guys do a handshake or something and then break into this choreography idk, I can’t find it. Anyway B tier

WILDCATS EVERYWHERE! WAVE YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR! THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT LET'S GET TO IT COME ON EVERYONE!! 😭

Hahahaha this post-credits scene, what was Zeke even doing just wandering around there aimlessly. Thinking about his rejection? : ( But no one can resist his baking for long!

His smile at the camera is so funny, yeah they never really went anywhere with this Sharpay-Zeke thing in the series so it’s kind of weird they keep throwing in little hints and Zeke still has a crush on her every movie

Aaaaand that’s the movie! This commentary has clocked in at over 9000 words, this is insane.

[300iqprower]

Hypothetical Rank Ups No. 24-26: Mata Hari (Rework)

Disclaimer/Notes: Mata Hari’s first and only official rankup that she got years too late is exactly the level of boost in performance all rank ups should be giving these early servants. It’s a fantastic all around support skill for crit and blah blah fucking blah it’s not enough it never is they roll these things out slower than a sloth taking a shit. So we’re making Mata Hari’s entire rest of her kit dramatically buffed in one very specific area: Charm, ya know, that thing she’s supposed to be a master of yet both her two charms are low RNG. On top of her niche being something she’s long overshadowed in by everything from Euryale to Kama, Charm is just shit now thanks to it being gutted post Babylon and now being further nerfed by proxy when Nasu and Clowns threw a shitfit about their own powercreep and made Debuffs in general worse in response to Alterjuna. So yeah, expect massive performance increase in this specific niche for both her and a certain other year-1 bottom-tier bronze-assassin who has only had one half decent appearance that was in a pseudo singularity. Oh and flavor wise this is based on the portrayal of her in FGO specifically which has a couple key distinct differences from her historical self. Allegedly.

Pheromone B -> “Heartaches by the Number”

Chance to Charm all enemies^ (1 turn). Decrease DEF for all enemies (3 turns). + Increase NP Gauge depending on Crit Stars.

Yes I’m totally using that name. My friend in the cult of Mata Hari approved it, so HA! Now first off get out of her with that garbage gender lock that makes it useless against the majority of the cast, second off give it a rather unique effect based on a scaling NP gauge that functions sort of like NotJane’s trademark skill. For every 10 critical stars Mata Hari gains a certain amount of NP gauge that goes up with the skill’s level, being 10% at level 1 and 20% at level 10 [Important Note: Because this is something that would require actual testing to balance it, it may be needed for the scaling to go lower or higher; I see the max possible scaling at 25%]. The NP gained also does not cap at 50 stars meaning thanks to Mata Hari’s teamwide 100% 3t Crit Star Generation buff, with the right teammates (Kotarou/Atalanta/Jack/etc) she can generate an absurd amount of NP in one burst. However, while you might think to use that varying battery after something like a QQQ Extra turn or to help pop off Mata Hari’s NP this skill is ideally used within 3 turns of when Mata Hari has ALREADY used her NP for reasons that’ll become clear later. Meanwhile flavor wise the obvious reference is obvious but also justified given the song’s subject matter being about 1 sided love and disillusionment as someone dependent on that love for survival finds themselves closer and closer to without it. Effect wise it’s based on the immense wealth she received from her suitors that only served to reflect how shallow their love was as she was admired solely for the beauty she used to deceive others, which of course is what her Noble Phantasm embodies.

Double-Cross B -> Double-Cross B++

Inflict Skill Seal to a single enemy (1 turn). Decrease DEF for a single enemy (5 turns).^ + Inflict NP Seal to a single enemy (1 turn).

Now this is way simpler. Increase the def from 3 turns to 5 and its scaling from 10/20% to 20/30% making for a maximum of only 1 turn of downtime on a sizable defense down and an NP seal that frankly should have always been there even if it meant no skill seal considering the big thing about stuns and charms is that they don’t stop that turn’s enemy NP gain.

Mata Hari A -> Mata Hari A+++

Medium chance to inflict Charm for all enemies (Activates first).^ + Decrease Charm Resist of all enemies (3 turns). Decrease your Skill Cooldowns by 1 turn. <Overcharge> Decrease ATK for all enemies (2 turns).^ Decrease DEF for all enemies (2 turns).^ + Gain Critical Stars for each charmed enemy. [9/11/13/15/17]

Anyone else notice Kama is the only unit in the game with Charm Resist Down, and that very useful niche is just randomly thrown onto a 50% battery that already has a very powerful anti alter-ego class effectiveness niche AND crit stim? Yeah that irks me ever so slightly. Anyways, Mata Hari’s max would be the same of 40% down at level 5, which everyone would have since she’s an FP 1 star. This is important because all AOE charms cap at 60% including both Mata Hari’s own AOE charm skill and her NP, aside from MRX with a flat 40% chance and Summer Kama who is badly designed and should go away anyhow. That said I am boosting her NP from 60% to 90% chance as this crosses some major thresholds in regards to Debuff Resist Down support and general Debuff Resist passives. In the absence of heavy DRD support luke Katarou or Kiara though, this charm resist down and  is why ideally you save her new NP battery until AFTER you’ve used her NP, or set it up so it will be available again within a couple of turns of using her NP, because then you can guarantee the skill’s success while setting up yet another NP. On that note let’s talk about the other two effects. I had to wrestle with several different combinations of effects to find something that would make charmlock more viable without setting off an unabashedly OP loop. In the end I decided against teamwide CDR with modifiers (example: Reduce cooldown for all charm skills) with a flat reduction of all Mata Hari's skills by 1; I especially can’t go higher than 1 because her absurdly good 1st skill is on a 5 turn cooldown. Overall though when given a team dedicated to her she’ll be able to keep that 3 turn buff up near perpetually which would in turn make up for building around her. As for the stars, obviously those will help with the fact that Mata Hari has no real star generation on her own and ensure if you pull off the NP -> Charm Skill combo you’ll have stars to boost the battery going in. Charmlock or not, however, the name of her game is AOE charm, so the scaling on how many stars per charmed enemy was scaled back from an original 10/15/20/25/30 to 9/11/13/15/17. No these numbers are not randomly scaled either, I made them with 10 star interval thresholds in mind and the fact that Mata can acquire overgauge practically by default as a 1 star. Oh and lastly the attack and defense debuffs have been extended to 2 turns since a 1 turn attack down on a skill that charms is obviously an issue. You could totally end up with it being both turn if running charmlock, of course, but at that point your goal is clearly to outright prevent damage rather than mitigate it. (and again: A certain other rankup I have in mind pairs further with this)

So to recap in full: Mata Hari’s pure support is enhanced and hyperfocused on by sidelining any potential changes that would give her damage or survivability in favor of making her charm far more reliable and making her entire team’s charms more reliable, especially in regard to AOE charmlock. Her defense buffs are overall buffed as well to make her a unit who lowers enemy defenses and boosts overall critical potential practically just from being fielded, with slightly better stall tactics to boot. The crux of these shifts however becomes a new battery that is based on stars but as such requires dedicated teammates to get the most use of due to Mata Hari’s atrocious personal star gen even with her own AOE crit based buffs. All in all you’re left with a very good but very reliant pure support who uses charm and sheer utility to make up for a complete lack of damage or survivability, and when built around the right team comp can bring AoE charmlock to the table in a BIG way.

[paragonrobits]

A friend asked me to give a stab at a Tierlist Maker for Video Games Not Yet In the Video Game Hall of Fame Tier List Maker, so here's my list for it!

This is based primarily on what I considered to be overall value to gaming history as a whole, with games with greater influence or impact ranking higher than those that had less impact on those to follow, or on culture. All the entries are those that have been nominated to the Hall of Fame, but not actually inducted as of this post's writing. Games that I personally like are generally rated higher, though mostly because I'm more familiar with them and thus can judge their impact from a personal POV.

(Tier List explainations, below!)

SHOULD BE IN ALREADY

Final Fantasy: I mean seriously. How is this one not already in yet?? It is not, as my research suggests, the first true RPG; that likely goes to games like Ultima. It is certainly an incredibly influential one; FF is a name closely associated with JRPGs in general, and its diverse class system is one of the strongest things to do with it, as noted by challenges like beating the game with a party of Black Belts. FF is THE name of RPGs in general and I'm startled it hasn't made it in, though I suppose that's owing to more notable entries (Hard as that is to imagine). It doesn't hurt that the majority of my favorite FF titles are those most similar to this one, such as FF6 and FF9, in terms of approaching the general world setting and class systems. Most significantly is that this game popularized RPGs and made them accessible, in ways that previous games such as Dragon Warrior/Dragon Quest did not; the field of gaming would be VERY different without it; RPGs became VERY popular, to the extent of RPG elements being almost universal among other games in the modern day. (I am also pleased and amused to see 8-Bit Theater mentioned on the actual Wikipedia page. Now THAT'S notability!)

Sid Meir's Civilization: HEY NOW HALL OF FAME JUDGES, DON'T YOU BE MOCKING CIV, ALRIGHT. CIV IS FUCKING AWESOME. Okay, jokes aside, I'm genuinely astonished as the Civ series is considered the first true main game of the 4x series, and it shows; the entire genre centers around expansion, resource usage and diplomacying or conquering your enemies, and considering the impact of this game and its sheer popularity, to the extent of the meme of the game getting people to play for Just One More Turn, I'm a bit disappointed that it's not already in the hall of fame. I also note that I am personally more familiar with the spin off Alpha Centauri, a sci fi variant, which is still one of my all time favorite games.

Half-Life: Given this game's popularity, to the point of its release alone consigning the likes of Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines to cult classic status and its engine spawning a whole THING with GMod and the usage of physics mechanics in FPS games, one thing of note is its use of scripted sequences; at the time, an unknown in most games of the time. There may be something to be said for how the entire game is spent as Gordon Freeman, behind his eyes, possibly engendering a lack of separation between self and character that would be later emphasized in games like Bioshock. It's influence on games cannot be denied, with publications using it as a bookend between eras of gaming. One consistent element of what seems to make this game so distinctive is its approach to storytelling, without simply imitating film techniques which don't always work well with gameplay.

Candy Crush: This is an example of something I don't personally play myself, or even like very much, but I'd be remiss to dismiss it out of hand. There's no denial that phone games are one of, if not THE biggest market of games in the here in now; if now in scale, certainly in quantity. You might call it the TF2 Hat Economy theory; people aren't spending BIG bucks, but they are spending a LOT of little bucks all the time. It proves that highly accessible games that are generally free to play, with optional purchases, are a legitimate means of game business, and this certainly revolutionized how games were seen by the money-makers.

Super Smash Bros Melee: I loved this game as a kid, but truth be told i have a bit of a love-hate relationship; i REALLY dislike the competitive community that has fixated hard on this game, so any thoughts on it will have a slight element of pause beforehand. Even so, I can't forget the thrilled delight I felt watching the trailer for this game in supermarkets for the first time as a kid. at a time when getting any new games at all was a HUGE deal in my family. So, there is a lot of feeling behind this one! Ultimately, I have to concede that while i have complicated feelings about this game, its worth noting that the vast majority of things that made Smash iconic, and influenced the competitive scene AND the games inspired by Smash AND shaped the course of the series going forwards, largely owe themselves to Melee in particular. 64 was far more slow paced, while Melee began the trend towards much more fast paced action (and while I doubt it's SPECIFIC to melee as a whole, it may have been a trend for the genre from then). Melee is STILL widely played, especially on the competitive scene, and this sort of longevity always bears evidence of notability.

Goldeneye 007: I have to admit that despite being a kid in the 90s, despite someone who put most of their time into gaming, and despite being someone whose favorite system at the time was the Nintendo 64, I mostly missed out on the trend of history by honestly not being that much into this game. I have to say that I DID play it, however; I just never managed to get past the first level or so. I have strong memories of triyng and failing to sneak around a snowy lair of some description; it wouldn't be until the mid-2000s, playing Deus Ex Human Revolution, that I got the hang of stealth. All the same, personal indifference really doesn't matter much because HOLY SHIT THIS GAME HAS SOME STAYING POWER. IT HAS INFLUENCE, FRIENDORITOS. Perhaps chiefly, at the time it was made, consoles were not considered viable platforms for first person shooters; Goldeneye revised that notion, and created a whole revolution in multiplayer and shooter games. We would later see the ultimate consequence of this in games like Halo, which further revolutionized the whole genre. Ironically, the stealth attributes I was so bad at were part of what made the game so unique! It's one of those games that may not have aged well, by modern standards, but its import to gaming as a whole goes a long, long way.

Guitar Hero: I expect this one might be a bit hard to justify, but on its own, this game is INCREDIBLY innovative, though its not entirely the first of its kind, having mechanics based on earlier games. The very first entry has a respectable library of 30 songs, which is impressive considered at the time it was made, its not likely people expected it to get as far as it did; bear in mind that the massive libraries of later games were the result of years of this game series being a massive steamroller of a franchise! At the time, this one was an unknown. It has an interesting history as being a successor of sorts to an arcade exclusive, and inspiring a genre of imitators and spiritual successors on its own; of great note is the sheer impact this game had. With so many of those successors, the increased value of liscened soundtracks, and the way the game's concept became so influential, its astounding this one isn't already on the hall of fame. (It's also very fun, but fun alone doesn't make for memorability, sad to say.)

DESERVES IT AT SOME POINT

Myst - an iconic and incredibly atmospheric puzzle game, I'm genuinely surprised that I haven't heard talk about this one in some respect; it bears note as a rare game with absolutely no conflict whatsoever. I actually rank this one on par with the 7th Guest in terms of atmospheric games, though their tones could not be more different. So why do I think this game deserves it at some point? It was an incredibly immersive and beautiful game, lacking in genuine danger or threat, encouraging the player to explore and tackle the puzzles of the game. This sort of open-ended lack of peril makes it an interesting precursor towards certain flavors of sandbox games around now. It's worth noting that it was a tremendous achievement, given technical limitations of things such as the CD-Rom it was stored on, maintaining a consistent experience, as well as tying narrative reasons into those very constraints. It has been compared to an art film; if so, it certainly is the sort that invited imitators and proved to be a great technical achievement.

Portal: PORTAL! What can I honestly say that hasn't already been said by other people? The amazing integration of a physics engine into innovative puzzle solving, combined with a slow burn sort of minimalist plot reveal concerning the AI proving itself to be a kind of reverse HAL 9000? This game got a HUGE number of memes back in the day, and I expect anyone reading this can probably reference a few. The cake thing, certainly, and its relevance to matters of deception. There is much discussion over the game's utility in academic circles, which is certainly quite notable, and for my part, I'm interested by the point that at first the game gives you a lot of hints towards what you're supposed to do, gradually making it less obvious for the player you're on your own entirely, using your experience with the game to get past the puzzles from there, and its excellent game design. Ultimately though, I place this below Half Life in hall of fame urgency, because while I probably like this one more, it doesn't have the same impact on other games, per say. (That's a lot of awards for it, though. Wowza.)

Resident Evil: Is it fair to call this one the major survival horror game of its era? No, because it's apparently the FIRST, or at least the first to be called such. It's certainly up there with shaping the genre as a whole, both its immediate predecessors and modern games. The flavor of a survival horror can even be judged about whether its close to Resident Evil's style of defending yourself with limited resources vs controlled helplessness. It's also worth pointing out that I quite like the restricted, cramped setting of the mansion, rather than an expansive city; Biohazard was a real return to form, even if its something I mostly watched through funny lets plays because OH NO ITS TOO SCARY I CANT WATCH.

Asteroids: It's called the first major hit of the golden age of the arcade. I'm forced to say... yeah, it absolutely deserves it. The actual implementation and hardware of the game makes for interesting reading, and so its innovative nature ought to be noted: it lacked a soundchip at all, making use of handmade circuits wired to the board. It's reception was great, beating out Space Invaders and needing larger boxes just to hold all the money people spent on it. It also invented the notion of tracking initials on the top ten score, which has implications for arcade challenges.

Ms. Pac Man: This one consistently ranks HIGH in gaming records of its time, though there is admittedly some confusion to whether it or Donkey Kong was a better seller. Interestingly it appears to shape most of the gameplay mechanics people remember most for Pac-Man, such as the improved AI of the ghosts. It's more highly regarded than the original game, and on a personal note, I remember being a kid and seeing this arcade machine at ALL the laundry places my family usually wound up going to.

Frogger: It's placing on this list is not solely because CUTE FROG. The accessibility and wide appeal of the game bears a great deal of consideration, the flexibility of its formula, and just how many dang times it's been ported in one form or another. (And also, cute frog.) It also gets points for the creator being inspired for the game when he saw a frog trying to cross a road, hampered by the vehicles in the way, and he got out of his car and carried the frog across the street. The game is also evident of broad appeal, and some money-makers resisting it, goes back a long way; it was apparently dismissed as a kid's game by some, which just goes to show that some problems are older than quite a lot of gamers alive today.

Uncharted 2: this is one of those games where I cannot honestly say I have personal experience to draw from. Of the playstation's big games, I remember the Jak and Daxter series; I remember Kingdom Hearts, and I remember Ratchet and Clank, and I remember Infamous, but the Uncharted series remains

something of a 'I don't go here?' obscurity in my personal playbook. It does look memorable and charming from what I've seen, and one consistent element I've seen in comments about it is the cinematic nature of the game; it feels very much like a fun heist movie, based on what I have seen of it, and the notable thing is how the game FEELS cinematic.. in a literal way. As in, it combined elements of cinematography with game design, and that's no mean feat: what works for movies are unlikely to translate well to the interactive side, and it shows how that can be done for other games. The extensive praise does the game a LOT of credit!

WORTH NOMINATION AT LEAST

Angry Birds: As noted before, I'm not the biggest fan of most phone games, given that i prefer a more passive experience than most provide. As such, Angry Birds isn't something I've played as of this writing, but I have to appreciate the straightforward and simple gameplay; it reminds me a bit of the Burrito Bison game series, which I HAVE played, and I'm going to go out on a limb and assume it's because Angry Birds is probably the innovation that coined that particular style of gameplay. It's an example of what made phone games profitable and worth the time of developers to work at them; its easy for casual players to get into, and there's a fun sort of impact involved. Given the popularity of phone games, this one has a LOT of influence in getting that rolling, similar to candy crush, if not as much.

FIFA International Soccer: Simulation games are a tricky business; it can be really difficult to get them right, and this game provides an example of it being done in a way that a lot of people REALLY loved, set up an entire game series, and revived the 3DO system after a very bad year. Of note, apparently it was commented that it was more of a simulator than a console game, and this is rather funny considering how simulator is its own genre nowadays! Such do things change. It seems to have been a revolutionary game and simulation; setting the shape for modern sport games of its type, and tending more towards realism (accounting for acceptable breaks in reality) than was typical of the time. This one's position is thus picked for its impact as a whole; while it may not necessarily be a household name now, the series continues on, and is popular enough that even after 20 years, it's still been going.

Elite: I nominate this game in this position for being a startlingly early entry into what we would now consider open-ended games, even with an element of exploration and trading; if one stretches definitions a bit, a precursor towards gameplay of the like scene in 4X players who strive to avoid conflict, if possible. Its technical breakthroughs are some very interesting reading and make for good game history; a vast and complex game (not just by the standards of the era, either), and opening the door for persistent world games such as World of Warcraft.

Wii Sports: A significant game, and much as how other titles mentioned above were famed for gateway entries into gaming for an unfamiliar audience, or those that would want o play on a more casual basis. It seems notable to me for being most suited as a family game, or a more casual experience of multiplayer than usually associated with games like this; this has greatly influenced Nintendo's design philosophy, and one can see elements of this all the way through the Wii U onwards. It's essentially a fliparound from Mario Party; less competitiveness, but definitely meant as a group thing. Controversy is evident, because like with Mario Party, injuries did result from it.

Call of Duty: I place this one here because, while it DOES hold a very significant role in gaming history, with countless imitators, spiritual successors, being a game-changer in ways that its modern reputation might surprise you with, ultimately it is less so than other games such as Goldeneye, Halo or Half-Life. It's development in AI pathfinding and tactics is incredibly noteworthy from a mechanical perpsective, and the sheer level of awards it won is notable. In the end this game's popularity and continuing influence means that it shouldn't be overlooked.

Metroid: You can't spell 'Metroidvania' without this game! A relatively open ended exploration-based game with further options opening as new tools were found give it an interesting vibe, and the oppressive atmosphere distinctive to the game says great things about its sound and level designs. It wasn't the first open world game, or explorer, or even the first to open new aereas based on equipment, but it had ALL of these elements in a very memorable package. (Samus Aran as a female protagonist is something I'm a bit reluctant to give it credit for, as her identity was obfuscated for most of the game, and only revealed in a fanservicey way in a secret ending. All the same, credit where it is due, I suppose!) It's music seems to endure as a mood setter, too!

Pole Position: Perhaps not the FIRST racing game, but still considered one of the most important from the golden age of gaming, and the one to codify many of the firm rules of the game series. It's three dimensional gameplay is incredibly innovative for its time, and having played it and games like it in the past, I'm struck by how smooth the whole thing feels. No wonder it was popular! It is notable for having been designed specifically as a 3d Experience, meant to execute techniques like real drivers might attempt, which makes it a different sort of beast in that it tried to do more realistic actions; in some ways, a precursor to modern trends of realism in many games, for ill or best. Ultimately I think this one is worth a nomination because of its influence towards racing games (a popular and long lived genre, to say the least) as a whole.

OUTSIDE CHANCE

Nurburgring 1: On the one hand, I feel a bit guilty putting this one so low; it is recognized as likely being the earliest racing game in history, and given that I just finished noting Pole Position's influence, it feels a bit mean to rate this one as relatively insignificant all the same. However, in terms of notability, I never even heard of this one, and it was tricky finding information about it. Accordingly, that may say something about its influence, though this position DOES make it noteworthy as the first of its kind, albeit with Pole Position refining and introducing elements that shaped the genre.

Dance Dance Revolution: It feels a bit strange, putting this one fairly low. This thing was a MONSTER back in the day; entire arcades were built around the dancing control peripherals it required, rhythm based games or mechanics specifically invoked it by name, and it was an absolute cultural touchstone for years and years. So, why place it low? Partly, its because I can't just shove EVERYTHING into the 'deserves a nomination' folder; I do think it's fairly reasonable for this one to at some point get a nomination in the future, though ultimately there's games more noteworthy on the whole. It's specific rhythm qualities continue outside of its genre, and are quite influential to gaming as a whole, though unfortunately the series seems to have lost something in notability over time; popularity is a factor, but so is the impact on other games.

NBA 2K and NBA Jam: I put these two together because they touch on similar touchstones for me, and they really did popularize basketball games back in the day. Jam in particular seems to be invoking the Big Head mode that were a big thing in games at the time, at least going from the screenshot. They were very popular and highly beloved games back in the day, though I don't know if they have much influence on later games. I note that interestingly, they take opposite approaches; 2k focuses on AI and realistic experiences, while Jam was deliberately less realistic and more actiony in its over the top gameplay.

Nokia Snake: This one really impresses me for the sheer number of releases, in various forms, it's had! Interestingly, there seems to be little consensus on the name of this game; most just call it Snake or something on that theme. I went with Nokia Snake because... mostly, it sounds funny, and that's how its done on the list. This one is fairly low, but I Have to give it credit for having hundreds of releases!

Farmville: My mom liked Facebook games, a lot. And I am certain this one was one of her main ones! I rate it fairly low, and no doubt her spirit is yelling imprecations at me across the void of time, space, and abandoned socks; all the same, this one is ranked low because of the sheer number of displeasure aimed this one's way. (And to be fair, she complained about it. A LOT.) It is thus notable for unusually negative reasons; an example of exploitation, pressuring players to pester their friends to play it in an equivalent to electronic chain mail, and microtranscations.

Tron: I'm inclined to give any game that takes place in a computer land and uses programming or mechanical terminology a free pass! Interestingly, this has some association with the Snake game, as they have similar gameplay and Snake games are sometimes called Light Cylce games, after this one. It has an interesting history; the graphical system was chosen largely because it was believed it was more likely to be achieved before the deadline.

NO BUSINESS IN THE HALL OF FAME

Mattel Football: I do feel a little mean putting anything in this category; firstly because I don't want to make actual fans of something sad, and secondly because I believe you can probably find notability anywhere you look, if you are inclined. And here is the chief difficulty with this one: I could not find any real information in this one. It has no Wikipedia page, a google search only led to undescriptive links of SALES for the game, but not any information on the game itself. Notability is my main resource for sorting these entries, and honestly? If google has nothing on you, that's a pretty poor sign. Sorry, Mattel Football, but you look like a poor man's Game And Watch. You're no Portal, Myst or Pole Position.

[itsdlevy]

I’ve now seen all eight of the films Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy made together, so naturally I must rank them. I note that none of them are bad, but they more or less divide into three tiers of superb, great, and good. 

(While most of them ostensibly based on stage operettas, each and every one takes enough liberties with their source material that I am not going to bother to note it individually. Just know that none of these stay particularly true to their ancestors.)

1. New Moon (1940)

If you were only ever going to watch one film adaptation of an operetta in your life, it should be this one. It has fancy French ball gowns, the Louisiana bayou, pirates, a desert island, both a princess and a duke in disguise, and a number of timeless hit songs you’ll likely recognize even if you don’t think you know any songs from operetta, like “Lover Come Back To Me,” “Softly, As In A Morning Sunrise,” and “Stouthearted Men.” 

2. Rose Marie (1936)

A love letter to French Canada with the best cinematic mounties you’ll find (sorry, Dudley Do-Right). The cinematography is gorgeous. The songs, including the title number and “Indian Love Call” are classic. Jimmy Stewart has a small but impactful role. Its treatment of First Nations people has not aged well, although it’s aged better than the 1954 remake’s. 

3. Bitter Sweet (1940)

Jeanette looks radiant in technicolor, and what remains of Noel Coward in the script is ideal for her talents. It’s shocking that the film cut “If Love Were All” but Nelson and Jeanette make the most of “I’ll See You Again,” and the film feels like it has more music than others they made together. The story isn’t deep, but they make the most of it and I found the climax suitably surprising.

4. Naughty Marietta (1935)

I wonder if this might have landed higher on my list had I seen it before I watched The New Moon, because they share quite a few plot points. (French aristocrats undercover in America seem fated to be together.) The Victor Herbert songs are classics, some of which (“I’m Falling In Love With Someone” and “Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life”) you will recognize because they got interpolated into the stage version of  Thoroughly Modern Millie.

5. Girl of the Golden West (1938)

Not an adaptation of the Puccini opera, but rather an original for-the-screen operetta adapted from the same play that Puccini worked from. It’s a fun Western love story, a little reminiscent of Calamity Jane, with a score that might be second-tier Romburg, but second-tier Romburg is still pretty great.

6. Maytime (1937)

This adaptation of a Romburg stage hit inexplicably threw out the original story to use what was essentially the story of Bitter Sweet – which would end up posing a challenge for MGM when they got around to filming that one a couple of years later. This is a pleasant film, but the most memorable thing about it is a truly stunning credits sequence in which all the credits are formed by blooming flowers floating in a river. (I wish that was on YouTube.)

(Apparently five is the maximum number of videos Tumblr will allow me to embed in one post, so if you’ve made it this far and want a preview, you’ll have to click over to another window to see this.)

7. Sweethearts (1938)

I wanted to like this one so more much than I did. It’s a clever method for filming a musical (that I’ve seen repeated elsewhere): there’s a new backstage framing story about married starts who have been appearing together in a hit show for six years, and the schemes of the producer and writers to keep them on stage when Hollywood comes to call. Unfortunately, I liked the framing device more than the show-within-a-show which bogged the whole thing down. Unfortunately, the song I think of when I hear “Sweetheart” is “Sweetheart, Will You Remember” which is from Maytime. None of the songs from this film stuck with me. It does look great in color, though! (Here’s a sample.)

8. I Married an Angel (1942)

The last and the least of their collaborations, this film version of the Rodgers & Hart Broadway hit was hobbled by the censors. Originally written as a film in the 30s, it was deemed too racy (and blasphemous) for Hollywood, so Dick and Larry bought back the rights and took it to New York. By the time Hollywood got it back, none of the underlying issues were resolved, so we get a toothless version missing some of the best songs and transforming the central plot into an extended dream sequence. Still, it has some great Rodgers & Hart tunes and gorgeous sets and costumes, and it’s closer to the original than quite a few other Rodgers & Hart film adaptations (lookin’ at you, Babes in Arms). (Here’s a sample.)

[dweemeister]

Blue Hawaii (1961)

Elvis Presley’s ascent to stardom struck the United States (and the world) like a lightning bolt. Hounded from Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry due to the country music establishment taking offense to his genre-blending musicianship, Elvis grew from being a regional phenomenon to a national sensation as he helped innovate rockabilly, a form of rock and roll. Movie producers, sensing an opportunity to cash in on Elvis’ skyrocketing popularity, gave Elvis star vehicles such as Love Me Tender (1956) and Jailhouse Rock (1957). Critics shrugged at these films – low-budget affairs where most of the budget went to Elvis’ salary – but his fans made them critic-proof, turning out in droves to scream and swoon at their slick-looking dreamboat. Grappling with television’s advent and the dissolution of the Old Hollywood Studio System, Hollywood’s major studios shifted their efforts towards more bombastic, showman-like films. Such was the situation in the early 1960s that longtime Warner Bros. producer Hal B. Wallis (1938’s The Adventures of Robin Hood, 1942’s Casablanca), now at Paramount, joked that, “a Presley picture is the only sure thing in Hollywood.”

To the horror of Elvis’ fans and movie studio executives but to the delight of those fans’ parental figures and teachers, the U.S. Army drafted him in March 1958. Elvis served twenty-four months before his discharge with the rank of Sergeant. During his service, Elvis nevertheless had plenty of singles in the can, many ranking high on the charts while he was at basic training and later his posting in West Germany. Looking forward to restarting his musical and acting careers, Elvis soon returned to the recording studio and shot G. I. Blues (1960) – he had discussed the film with Wallis months prior to his discharge – in short order. For the eighth film of his career and his fourth after his discharge, Elvis starred in Blue Hawaii, directed by Norman Taurog (1938’s Boys Town, nine Elvis films) and produced by Wallis. The film stars Elvis as an Army veteran recently discharged from the service, returning to his home state. I wonder where did they get that idea from? It also marks the unlikely beginning of Elvis’ association with the Aloha State – which shed its territorial status in 1959 and was ready for a Hollywood treatment that had nothing to do with the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.

Chadwick “Chad” Gates (Presley) returns home to Hawai’i from his military service, greeted by girlfriend Maile Duval (Joan Blackman: “MY-lee”) and a flower seller named Waihila (Hilo Hattie in a cameo). Instead of immediately seeing his parents – mother Sarah Lee (Angela Lansbury, only ten years Elvis’ senior) and father Fred (Roland Winters) – he escapes to a secluded oceanside shack with Maile and his Hawaiian surf buddies. Chad is the son of pineapple plantation owners, and Sarah Lee wants him to succeed Fred when the time comes. But Chad is not interested in those plans, electing instead to work as a tour guide for Mr. Chapman’s (Howard McNear) travel agency – among other things, Maile works at the agency. The first tour he gives serves schoolteacher Abigail Prentice (Nancy Walters) and her four teenage students, all girls. One of those girls, Ellie Corbett (Jenny Maxwell), appears standoffish at first but then begins to flirt shamelessly with Chad.

If by that point in Blue Hawaii you are still concentrating on the plot, just note that your approach to watching Elvis movies is not advisable. Watching Elvis movies for a sensible plot is to invite frustration; accept the narrative drivel and enjoy.

Shot mostly on location on the Hawaiian Islands of O’ahu and Kaua’i, Hawai’i offers splendid backdrops to even the most mundane scenes of this film. Charles Lang’s (1947’s The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, 1959’s Some Like It Hot) camera allows characters to be dwarfed by the green mountains in the distance, the crystal blue waters extending to the horizon, and palm tree fronds wafting amid a gentle breeze. Scenes of breathtaking natural beauty abound in Blue Hawaii. In conjunction with the production (Hal Pereira and Walter H. Tyler) and set design (Sam Comer and Frank R. McKelvy), Blue Hawaii becomes, by default, the most colorful Elvis movie to date. The film, by design, partly becomes a tourism advertisement for the new state. Its white characters and filmmakers exotify and romanticize Native Hawaiian culture to fit their own expectations and perspectives – these sorts of depictions have endured across the last century, figuring heavily in cinema (1935’s Honolulu: The Paradise of the Pacific as part of [James A.] Fitzpatrick’s Traveltalks for MGM) and tourism advertising. This is the first live-action feature film from a major Hollywood studio to make even a minimal attempt to depict native Hawaiian culture since Waikiki Wedding (1937), another Paramount film.

Here are some more connections between Waikiki Wedding and Blue Hawaii: both share one song (“Blue Hawaii”) in both their soundtracks and both films are musicals. The Hawaiian musical sound is just as integral to popular conceptions of Hawai’i, and it is used liberally here in orchestrations, if not melodic structure. Blue Hawaii’s soundtrack contains the greatest amount of songs (fourteen) for an Elvis film. For those who enjoy their breathless musicals with a song at every turn, Blue Hawaii does just that. The musical numbers arrive in the most innocuous situations – from forming a melody from a tune heard on the radio, an impromptu jam session with a guitar conveniently within arm’s length of Elvis, or starting from nothing. The worst of the soundtrack avoids many of the novelty songs that plague Elvis films, especially the later entries. Given how nonsensical the plots to Elvis movies are, the lower-tier songs in Blue Hawaii are preferable compared to more stilted acting and fraternizing shenanigans. Thus, the bar is raised, and the inclusion of two non-original songs – “Blue Hawaii” (music by Ralph Rainger, lyrics by Leo Robin) and “Aloha ‘Oe” (Queen Lili’uokalani) – are arranged in such a way that beautifully complements Elvis’ velvety singing voice. Among the original songs, “Moonlight Swim” (music by Ben Weisman, lyrics by Sylvia Dee) is a sensuous, laid back song that perfectly serves Chad’s characterization: an unabashed Casanova, effortless in romance, a hint of masculine arrogance.

The runaway hit of the Blue Hawaii soundtrack is among Elvis’ most popular songs. “Can’t Help Falling in Love” – music and lyrics by Hugo Peretti, Luigi Creatore, and George David Weiss – appears approximately midway through the film as Chad says hello to Maile’s grandmother (Flora Kaai Hayes, a former Hawaiian Territorial Representative to the U.S. House of Representatives) for the first time since before his military service. It, like so many other musical entries in Blue Hawaii, arrives without much warning, backed by a constantly harmonizing music box and a steel guitar played in a Hawaiian style. One might take issue with the song’s use in context, but it is a crooners’ standard that has crossed linguistic barriers worldwide. Its simplicity is self-evident: a memorable melody, chorus, and a minor key bridge aching for resolution as it modulates to major key. Perhaps “Can’t Help Falling in Love” is not considered one of the greatest original songs in movie history because of the questionable quality of the film it appears in. More likely, Elvis’ gravitational pull as a crossover music and movie star writes its own legends that defy a critic’s or a historian’s corrections.

Somehow, I have written all the above without remarking on the acting. Other than Elvis himself, everyone else is a passing interest at best. Joan Blackman’s chemistry with Elvis is apparent, but she does not distinguish herself from every other female lead in an Elvis movie. Angela Lansbury’s exaggerated Southern accent displays her considerable range, even if there are better examples in other films. As much as some may deride Elvis’ performances for being unchallenging, one could not imagine an Elvis movie without the star attraction. His persona is effervescent; his charisma incontestable. According to Weiss, Elvis’ comedic instincts manifested themselves in subtle ways. If Elvis requested a joke to be explained in discussions about the screenplay, it was his roundabout, maybe overly polite, way to warn Weiss, Taurog, and screenwriter Hal Kanter (1952’s Road to Bali, at least twenty-two Academy Award ceremonies) that the joke was not funny. During test screenings of Blue Hawaii, every joke kept in the film that Elvis questioned elicited nothing from the audience. On- and off-screen, an Elvis movie with Elvis removed would collapse from the void of hilarity and charm such an absence would create.

Blue Hawaii, like all other Elvis movies prior, succeeded at the box office in comparison to its budget. Adding to this bounty for Elvis, the film’s soundtrack album sold millions of copies, sitting atop of the Billboard charts for twenty weeks, and garnering a Grammy nomination. The soundtrack profits from Blue Hawaii and the preceding G.I. Blues led Presley’s obstinate manager, Colonel Tom Parker, to have his client concentrate on film soundtrack albums at the expense of non-soundtrack albums – setting the groundwork for the remainder of the 1960s (Elvis released 16 soundtrack albums versus six non-soundtrack albums during this decade), with diminishing returns. Parker reasoned to Elvis that his fans demanded to see him in these musical romantic comedies, rejecting any roles that did not fit this mold. Elvis, believing his manager, continued to make films until well past the point an Elvis Presley picture was a guaranteed hit in theaters.

In its visual splendor and Pacific appeal, Blue Hawaii sealed the fate of Elvis’ post-Army career. No other subsequent Elvis film would match the commercial heights of Blue Hawaii, although one could argue several of those movies surpass this one in terms of acting, aesthetics, and musical interest (like 1964’s Viva Las Vegas and two concert documentaries in 1970 and 1972). Elvis returned to Hawai’i several more times during his career for concerts and two films – Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962) and Paradise, Hawaiian Style (1966). As much as Elvis is associated with Tupelo, Mississippi (his birthplace) and Graceland in Memphis, there is also a special relationship between Elvis and Hawai’i. That relationship – one that touches Elvis’ personal life and the musical traditions of Native Hawaiians – begins with Blue Hawaii, an archetypal Elvis film and one of his best.

My rating: 6/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

[necromancy-savant]

Punk Subgenres Tier List

Been meaning to do this for months literally as just an infodump to cheer me up. Ranking is based on how much I like a genre and how often I listen to it. Bear in mind that there’s almost nothing on here I truly dislike. 

S-tier

Skate punk – I talked about this one in my last tier list, but this was a popular subgenre in the late 80s-early 90s. At the time it was considered pop punk but now it’s just punk. Though there were skate punk bands in the 80s, that is, punk revolving around skateboarding culture like the Faction and JFA, the sound for 90s skate punk was pioneered by Bad Religion, particularly on their 1988 album Suffer. It’s characterized by fast d-beats, melodic vocals and vocal harmony, guitar harmonies, and often has unusual song structure. I was introduced to this stuff through the flash game Punk-O- Matic that used to be on Newgrounds and I instantly loved it. And the high production value mixed with a true-to-form punk sound makes it a great starting place. Recommended bands: NOFX, Lagwagon, No Use for a Name, RKL, Propagandhi, Strung Out.   

Hardcore punk – for the purpose of this list I split hardcore punk and NY hardcore into separate genres, though it might be more accurate to say NYHC is a later form of the same genre. I honestly also tend to think of thrashier, more metal-sounding hardcore as separate from early 80s hardcore too. Hardcore punk is what I’m calling the bands of the early 80s that took 70s punk rock and made it heavier and faster. This was my introduction to punk music. Naturally, it’s had a huge influence on me, and my subconscious still thinks of it as the baseline for what punk is. I personally like the more melodic side of it and love it when these bands have a bit of surf rock influence. Many of these bands started out with a more melodic sound and got heavier as they went on. Recommended Bands: Bad Brains, Minor Threat, Dead Kennedys, Adolescents, Black Flag, Descendents, Misfits.

Ska punk – First off, I really want to separate ska punk from 3rd wave ska even though it may not be strictly necessary to. But I think there’s a noticeable difference, sonically and at times culturally, between the two. If you’ve never heard ska, it sounds to a modern listener like a cross between reggae and either punk, pop punk, or pop, though reggae actually evolved out of first wave ska. It’s often the sort of thing I can’t be sad listening to but it’s definitely not all one note emotionally and can hit some much more dark and thoughtful places in my opinion. Recommended bands: Against All Authority, the Suicide Machines, Choking Victim, The Interrupters, Citizen Fish, Slapstick, Operation Ivy.

A-tier

Horror punk – The Misfits were my first real punk band and they are very near and dear to me and always will be. That said, as much as I did go on a horror punk deep dive and get really into it when I was like 17, I don’t listen to it too often anymore except for Blitzkid. The Misfits invented the genre in the late 70s and early 80s when they took punk and mixed it with a rock n roll musical sensibility evident in the catchy tunes and vocal style, and had lyrics centered on old horror and sci fi B movies. A lot of horror punk bands do sound a lot like the Misfits and shamelessly name themselves after Misfits songs or lyrics, but there’s also a big post punk influence and a lot of crossover with psychobilly. Recommended bands: Blitzkid, Dirty Dead, Calabrese, Zombina and the Skeletones, Bloodsucking Zombies From Outer Space, Chaneys, Toxic Zombie, Left For Dead.

Street punk – I imagine street punk is closer to what a lot of people think of as their baseline for what punk sounds like. Street punk is pretty straightforward from punk’s roots: most of the time it’s simple, fast loud, energetic, and a little crude. It frequently has much gruffer vocals that are often more yelled or screamed than sung. Even though it’s not always the most innovative or musically intricate subgenre I always find it highly enjoyable. Recommended bands: The Casualties, A Global Threat, the Varukers, the Krum Bums, The Exploited, The Restarts.

Ramonescore – Ramonescore goes back to the early 90s more or less and has been around ever since. It’s very straightforward poppy punk. Obviously it’s heavily influenced by the Ramones, but there’s also a rock and roll vibe (and a noticeable 1950s aesthetic), a bit of borrowing from some other genres imo (I don’t know how to explain it but some songs remind me of 80s rock somehow), and there’s honestly way more vocal harmonies and picked guitar riffing than the Ramones ever had. It’s light, fun punk rock with kind of juvenile, silly lyrics; what’s not to love? Recommended bands: Screeching Weasel, the Queers, the Bombpops, Teenage Bottlerocket, Mean Jeans, Huntingtons, The Riptides, The Sewer Rats. 

B-tier

New York Hardcore - To come back to what I was saying earlier, hardcore bands in the late 80s and into the 90s took the fastest and loudest parts of earlier hardcore and turned that into their whole sound, except they added breakdowns and actually often sound a lot more like metal than punk. Certainly many of the 80s bands I’ve mentioned moved more and more towards this on their later albums, had songs that sound more like it, or were just closer to it to begin with (like Suicidal Tendencies or 7 Seconds were). There’s definitely some grey area in between thrash metal and hardcore; a lot of thrash metal bands were influenced by hardcore and DRI, for example, are right in the middle. Not all bands I’d include here were from NY but the NY scene pretty much defined and is certainly a good representation of this sound. I didn’t listen to as much of it as I do now until recently but if you want something heavy it’s good stuff. Recommended bands: Gorilla Biscuits, Youth of Today, Madball, Skarhead, H20, Irate, Strife, Judge. Check out Maafa if you want to hear a new band I really like. 

Emo – I guess if pop punk can be a punk subgenre than so can emo, though at this point we’re moving pretty far away from punk sound and culture. You can’t really talk about emo without talking about the first wave of emo that everyone says is real emo, and honestly, to me they sound a lot like My Chemical Romance’s first album except lighter and it bores me. So that’s all I’m going to say about it because honestly? I don’t care about it and words can take on new meanings over time (I guess Midwest emo is still a thing but I hate it). 2000s emo is always some combination of that, pop punk, and post-hardcore, the latter of which honestly takes some cues from metal and metalcore sonically. There’s definitely a sort of sliding scale between pop punk and post hardcore and it all gets called emo. I can’t really get into the old “real” emo but I love that stuff from the 2000s. It came along just when I was liking pop punk but not the lyrics or culture surrounding it; luckily for me I only had to wait like a year for a big boom of a version of it that was darker and heavier. Bands: MCR’s my favorite but everyone already knows them, Bayside, Aiden, Hawthorne Heights, I Am Ghost, Senses Fail, The Used, Alkaline Trio, Thrice, Funeral For a Friend. 

C-tier

Pop punk - When I talk about pop punk, I’m mostly talking early 2000s pop punk, the kind that usually had those snotty tenor vocals, guitar parts that were more than just power chords, that drum beat with what sounded like a tambourine in it (I don’t play drums; idk what that sound is precisely), and parts that could have come out of any pop song, just sung in more of a punk style with electric guitars. It was my gateway into rock music, but I very quickly moved on to emo and then 80s hardcore punk. So, I missed a lot of this stuff because I caught it at the very tail end, and at the time what I really wanted was something way heavier. But, over the last few years I’ve revisited it a little bit and there’s some fun stuff in here. I don’t think it’s quite my cup of tea; while I love some songs others cross the line into being annoying to me, but objectively there’s a lot of really well written music in this genre. You probably know a lot of my top choices for pop punk bands so I’m going to try to list some other than the basic ones I like like Blink 182, Sum 41, and Simple Plan: Fenix TX, Mest,Saves the Day, zebrahead, Rufio, MxPx (I love both their early skate punk and later pop punk), Whole Wheat Bread (really they’re somewhere in between skate punk and pop punk.) 

Crust – crust punk is very closely related to street punk and there’s a lot of crossover between crust, street, and hardcore. But it basically sounds like if you mixed street punk with grindcore or another type of metal. I will say, crust punk has grown on me a lot lately. The first time I heard it I thought it was good but a little boring, thinking that if I wanted something heavy I’d listen to metal, but it often hits the sweet spot between punk and metal and is perfect when I want something simultaneously simplistic and heavy. There’s admittedly not a lot of variety and it does sort of lack the sense of fun that most of my favorite punk music has, but I love the aggression mixed with pure simplicity and the leftist political lyrics a lot of these bands have. Recommended bands: Anti-Cimex, Driller Killer, Aus Rotten, Capitalist Casualties , Doom, Discharge, disrupt, Nausea.

Psychobilly - So okay, rockabilly is a precursor to rock n’ roll that kind of sounds like a mix of rock n’ roll, blues, and country. As far as I know, punkabilly is that but with an added punk influence, present in part in the distorted electric guitars. And then psychobilly is punkabilly but the punk part is the Misfits specifically. So they’ve also got the old horror movie lyrics plus a 50s greaser aesthetic (note that this is different from Ramonescore, which is like, lowkey 1950s rock and roll whereas this is an all-out greaser thing) and the rockabilly sound. A really unique, awesome genre that I recommend hearing at least once if you’ve never heard it. Recommended bands: Nekromantix, Koffin Kats, Mad Sin, Sick Sick Sinners, The Brains, The Meteors, Hellbillys, The Coffin Nails.

D-tier

2010s pop punk has much more of an emo and post hardcore influence while still being recognizably pop punk. The first time I heard it I assumed these were emo bands from the early 2000s. It’s characterized by harmonic guitars, instrumental parts more reminiscent of post hardcore (screamo) and especially a very shouty, belty vocal style. Actually this stuff apparently used to be really popular on Tumblr before I was on here so maybe some of you guys remember the “defend pop punk” blogs and the bands they liked. I like it well enough but don’t listen to it particularly often. Recommended bands: The Story So Far, State Champs, The Wonder Years, Four Year Strong, Real Friends, Belmont, Chunk! No, Captain Chunk! if you want something more on the easycore side. Check out Kill Lincoln if you want to hear ska punk where the punk part is this.

E-tier

Folk punk – This is a pretty wide genre and some I like more than others. It’s anything from Violent Femmes to stuff like the Dropkick Murphys (I actually mostly like their first album which is more or less just straight up punk), Flogging Molly, or The Real Mckenzies, and also stuff that sounds like punk but played on an acoustic guitar and/or other folk instruments. I like the latter well enough, but I always kind of end up wishing it was just played on electric instruments. There’s really nothing here I dislike, but it’s not my favorite and I don’t listen to it as much. If you’re interested in folk punk, try Days N Daze. They’re insanely good and are the most aggressive mashup of folk and punk I’ve ever heard.  

70s punk rock: On the one hand, it occurred to me that I had nothing on here that’s strictly from the 70s or really from the whole first wave of punk bands which seems like a huge oversight. On the other hand, I mostly just like the Ramones and the Rezillos and a small handful of other bands. So uh…I guess all I can say is that while I don’t dislike it, a lot of early punk just doesn’t excite me. I don’t like music that’s slow or quiet and relatively, a lot of it is. I used to listen to it a bit more back in high school when I was first getting into punk and I guess since then it’s gotten a little overshadowed. All the same, I’ll recommend Stiff Little Fingers, Sham 69, The Damned, UK Subs, The Buzzcocks, the Rezillos, and Death. If you like The Clash, try The Jam.

F-tier

Post punk - I have tried to like post punk. I’ve really tried. The first time I heard it I thought, this kind of sounds like the music in Vampire the Masquerade, maybe I could get into this. But the more I listen to it, the more it just sounds to me like slow 80s synth pop with an electric guitar sound that I don’t like. The one thing I like about it is the deep, melodic vocals. I much prefer its derivative genres, like death rock or industrial metal, where you get the same vocals a lot of the time but more drive and a much heavier, more distorted guitar sound.

[just-emotional-trash]

An Outranked Romance Ch. 3

Pairings: Eventual Romantic Prinxiety, Logicality, and Remile

Story Summary: At Camp Regality, lords, ladies, and royalty alike learn the values of being a member of court in the Kingdom of Animiria. Prince Roman is thrilled at the chance to get out of the stuffy palace! Virgil, the son of a lowly Baron, is ready to leave the moment he gets there, and plans to slip through unnoticed. But what happens when a certain Princely figure won’t leave him alone?

Inspired by this post by @ironwoman359

Chapters: World-building - First - Previous - Next

Chapter Warning(s): None (that I see, but please tell me if you find one!)

Words: 2.8k

——————————

The first thing that Virgil heard when he woke up the next morning was humming.

Quickly after that, he noticed that Remy wasn’t in their bed. Instead, they were in the bathroom, most likely doing their make-up. That on it’s own wasn’t out of the norm. What was strange was the fact that they were softly singing Disney Princess songs whist doing it. Remy, for all of their amazing traits, did not sing princess songs. They claimed it was to protect their ‘cool factor’ whatever that meant. So waking up to a rendition of A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes was a new experience for Virgil.

“Remy?” Virgil called out as he entered the bathroom, “Are you... having a good morning?” Remy looked at Virgil in the mirror with a smile the size of a dinner plate.


“I am having a wonderful morning, thank you! My crops are watered, the sun is shining warm on my face-”


“-But your eyes are photosensitive-”


“-and the cutest boy in the kingdom is here! At this camp!” Remy finished their dark purple lip with a flourish as they turned to Virgil.


Virgil was taken aback with the realization that Remy had done their eye make-up. “You... you did your eyes! They look amazing!”

And they did, with subtle eyeshadow and eyeliner with a wing so sharp it could cut glass. All this seemed to overpower their red eyes that were normally kept hidden behind shades. Their ocular albinism was fairly severe, and while it didn’t impair their vision much, the red eyes freaked most people out. Not to mention they would go blind if exposed to sunlight for too long. They wore shades for a good reason. But because of said shades, they normally chose to not wear eye makeup because... what was the point? Unless, of course, they knew they might need to take their shades off for someone they wanted to impress.

“I know right? It’s the first day I’ll be here, I’m sure many students and teachers will try to force me to take my sunglasses off.” Oh, thought Virgil, that’s why, I thought he just wanted to impress- “So when I inevitably have to take them off in front of Emile, he might not be too freaked out.” Virgil started to assure them that their eyes were nothing to be ashamed about, but he quickly registered the unknown name.


“Emile? Who’s Emile?”


Remy rolled their eyes like it was obvious. “The duke? I asked around with higher ranked nobility. Apparently he’s not very well known because he’s shy and doesn’t attend many events. And honestly, if all he had to hang out around was those stuffy nobles, I can’t blame him,” They finished with a shrug. Vigil laughed and agreed.

“I can’t argue with that, but Remy. Really, you don’t need to try and disguise your eyes. Do you really want to be with someone that would drop you for something as simple as that?”


“No, but first impression are everything! Come on, hurry up! I’m starving and my duke awaits!” Virgil laughed again and followed him out the door to get ready.

—————


Breakfast sped by quickly, with far too much food and people far too awake for 8:30 in the morning. Then they had classes in the “Palace of Perfection” - aka the Pompous Palace to Virgil and Logan, who dubbed it so last year because of the way most of the staff and students acted. Virgil and Remy waved goodbye to Logan as they made their way to the classroom for Barons.

There are 5 “levels” of nobility in the kingdom of Animiria. The highest is Royalty. Those born into the royal family are considered top tier. Kings, queens, princes, and dukes alike find themselves in superior ranking. Underneath them are the Marquis, then the Earls, then Viscounts, then Barons. All members of nobility are distinguished, but Barons are the most common. The Insomni line of nobility is one of the weakest, and furthest from the Royal family. Neither of the Insomni siblings had ever even been to the palace. They lived on a small estate, a few days travel from the capital city. Because of this, most other nobles never knew Virgil or Remy, and they were commonly isolated in what few noble gatherings they did attend, closer to home.

Ranking was everything, especially to the more old fashioned nobility. The recent king had been trying to fade this discriminating rule out, but to little avail. For example, Logan’s family, all Viscounts from the Moreno line, were particularly stiff on this rule. Logan could only have friends of his rank, or one below or above. Anyone lower is “not worth his time” and anyone higher is too important to be bothering with his presence. His family considered this rule incredibly generous and flexible. Logan didn’t seem to mind, as he tended to keep to himself.

Such rules were common among noble families. As such, classes were divided by ranking. In these classes, students learned knowledge appropriate for their ranking. Barons, being the lowest nobility (most of whom were estate holders), only got classes in manners, some ethics, and of economics. A lot of economics. Most of the morning was economics. Virgil was nearly asleep by lunch a few hours later.

Lunch came and went with little fuss. Remy complained about the monotone teacher - “Maybe I should hire him. He nearly put me to sleep, do you know how hard that is?” - and Logan simply read through a new book he had found in his free time at the large library in which the Viscount’s lessons took place.

Finally, it was time for the only fun part of camp - electives. Before camp starts, they send you a letter of invitation. You have to send them back a letter including what electives you’d like to be placed in. Virgil was in art, archery, and music. Art was first, and was usually filled with mostly female nobility. Last year, the only other male was a second year Marquis named Ethan. He had graduated, so Virgil was expecting to be the only man this year. Not that he had a problem with that, but he wasn’t excited about the teasing he would receive from the teacher.

However, these fears were wiped from his mind when he opened the door to find Prince Roman talking and laughing with the teacher in the proud, obviously fake way he’s been using with all of the nobility. Virgil quickly finds a seat toward the back of the room. Prince Roman moves to take a seat at the front as the teacher calls the class to attention.

“Good afternoon, class! Welcome to art. I’m Baroness Matilda, and I hope to have a great year!  As you may have noticed, this year our roster includes our own Prince Roman.” Giggles flew around the room as the Prince in question turned around and smiled. Virgil just rolled his eyes. “He has asked that we as a class treat him as just another student, and I expect that of each of you.”

The Baroness moved to her desk to pick up a clipboard. “This is a class for all forms of art, but we will begin with traditional. You have been assigned a random partner for our first project. You must get together during free time and sketch each other by the weeks end. This is our first project, so it does not have to be perfect, however I expect more than just stick figures.” She made a pointed look around the class, then looked down at her clipboard.

“I have the list of partners here, I will post them on the board. Please come find your name and partner and get started.” She took a paper out of the clip and taped it to the chalkboard. Almost immediately it was crowded. Virgil slowly made his way up to the front, as to not have to wave through the crowd.

As the squeals of disappointment and excitement filled the room, Virgil found his name listed beside another of significantly more importance. And one that was likely to be a royal pain.

“You’re... Virgil, right?” A gravely voice said behind him. Virgil turned around to see the prince himself. “I’m-“

“Prince Roman.” Virgil finishes for him. The royal seemed taken aback.

“Have... have we met?”

“No, but they made sure your name was known last night.” Virgil answered dryly.

Roman smiled sheepishly. “Yes, I suppose the overdramatic entrance would have done that.” Virgil just shrugged. The prince took that as a cue to continue talking.  “I’m excited to learn more about art. All forms of it really. I’ve dabbled in many, but I’m the best at writing. I’ll show you one of my works one day!”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “No offense your highness, but can we focus on the project?” He looked upset at the prospect, but nodded.

“Of course. But please, you don’t have to call me by my title, just call me Roman.” Virgil raised an eyebrow at that. Maybe Roman wouldn’t be like every other insufferable noble at this camp. He could hope. “Anyway, when can we meet up to work? I’ll only need an hour or so.”

“If you say so... Roman. It’ll only take me an hour as well, but it will only take me a few minutes to snap a reference photo so...” Roman flushed at that.

“Well I’m sorry, I’m not used to the combination of technology and art! Do you know how long it took me and my father to convince the royal advisors that cell phones weren’t evil?!”

Virgil scoffed. “Come on Princey, do you expect me to believe that you couldn’t just use them anyway?”

Roman made... some kind of offended noise (Virgil had never seen anything like it before, but he clutched his heart and made high pitched noises, he seemed offended), and responded, “I’ll have you know that it’s hard being a Prince!” Virgil raised an eyebrow. “No really! I have to constantly be perfection, and any mistake is amplified to the nation!”

Virgil chuckled. “Oh no, afraid your fan club will realize that you’re a human, not a perfect god?”

“Whatever, Emo Nightmare.” Roman huffed.

Virgil raised his eyebrow. “Emo Nightmare?”

“You called me Princey!” Roman accused. “I thought we were doing the nicknaming thing!”

“Ok, Romano”

“You cannot call me Romano.”

“I am so calling you Romano.”

Roman made his offended Princey noises once more. “Come on, I’d far prefer Princey.”

Virgil smirked. “Oh, and what are you going to do, issue a royal decree?”

“Yes!” A church bell rang in the distance, the signal for changing classes.

“You have fun with that.” Virgil picked up his things and started to leave the room. “Bye Romano!” He called as he passed the door.

“You’re insufferable!” He heard from the room as he laughed and walked out to the archery field.

—————

Virgil had already had a strange day. He had not expected to encounter the prince, much less poke fun at him. But what he saw at the field defied all known logic.

In the year he had known Logan, he had been predictable. His choice of friends followed his parents rules. He rarely smiled, even rarer did he laugh. If there was a book near, he was reading it. But this, Virgil could never see coming.

Logan was sitting on a bench, book closed on the bench next to him. And on the other side was the Royal Duke Patton, and Logan, laughing and smiling along to whatever he was saying. It was enough to stop Virgil in his tracks.

“I’ve only known him for like, a day, and I know this is weird.” Remy said as they walked up next to Virgil.

Virgil shook his head. “I’ve never seen him like this. I’ve heard Duke Patton was a personified ray of sunshine, but I never took them seriously. I guess he’s just like that?”

“He really is.” Virgil and Remy jumped as they noticed another had joined their party. “Hey,” said Duke Emile, as he walked up to the other side of Remy. “I’m Emile, he/him. Please don’t call me by title, I’m just a normal person.”

Virgil smiled at his meek introduction. “I’m Virgil, he/him. And this is my sibling Remy.” Virgil put his hand on their shoulder.

Remy had yet to reply, and was instead looking dumbstruck at the object of their affections. They seemed to finally pull themselves out of their reverie and flush red. “Remy, they/them. It’s... it’s nice to meet you.” In what seemed like a dash of courage, they took Emile’s hand in theirs and kissed the back of it.

He flushed and stammered, “It- it’s nice to see- I mean meet! You as well!” Virgil smiled and left the blushing idiots to themselves as he walked over to the pair on the bench.

“Logan, how many times do I have to tell you? Please don’t call me by my title, I’m just a normal person! I’m no greater than you, or Emile, or any other person on this planet.” The Duke Patton talked enthusiastically, waving his hands around to accentuate his words.

Logan frowned “I’m not sure what you mean, you are indeed ranked higher.” Patton threw his hands up in exasperation, just in time for Virgil to walk up behind him and get hit in the nose. The force knocked him back and onto the ground behind him.

“Oh my goodness gracious, are you okay? I’m so sorry!” Virgil looked up to see a duet of worried faces, both looking down at him. Logan seemed rather amused, despite the fact that his best friend was sprawled out on the ground. The other, who must have been Duke Patton, looked incredibly guilty. He had big, round eyes and he was offering his hand to help Virgil up.

Virgil just shook his head and laughed as he took Patton’s hand and lifted himself off of the ground. “I didn’t see you coming up behind me, I feel really bad, is there anything I can do?” Patton asked.

Virgil smirked. “You can tell me how you got Logan to laugh, I’ve known him for a year and only seen him genuinely laugh maybe once or twice.” Logan and Patton tinted pink and Patton laughed nervously as he tried to answer.

“Well, I guess I’m just a funny guy! Anyway, I haven’t introduced my self! I’m Patton! And please do-”

“Don’t use your title, you’re just a normal guy like everyone else.” Virgil interrupted. “I’ve heard the same thing twice today from your brother and cousin.”

Patton smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, we’re just tired of being held up on some pedestal.”

Virgil shook his head and chuckled. “It’s fine, I just find it funny that the three people at this camp that have the most power are functionally the most humble.”  

“Trust me, it gets really annoying fast.”

Virgil hummed in agreement. “Anyway, when did you two meet?”

Logan finally decided to butt in. “We are both taking a class in astrology, and we ended up next to each other in the front of the classroom. We just started talking and our personalities compliment each other well.”

“Well that sure is a fancy way of putting it but yep! Anyway, I’m gonna go find our instructor. Class was supposed to start five minutes ago, the silly goober,” Patton smiled and waved goodbye. Virgil looked at Logan with an expectant expression resting on his face.

“If you’re hoping for more details, I’m afraid you’ll be sorely disappointed,” Logan shot him down quickly. Virgil laughed at the dry response.

“Just tell me one thing.” Logan just raised and eyebrow in invitation to continue. “Isn’t he of much higher rank? Wouldn’t your parents disapprove of you two being such casual friends?”

Logan sighed and ran his hand through his hair once. “My parent’s ideals are old fashioned. It’s not as if we are courting one another or betrothed, we are simply... friends. And what my parents don’t know won’t hurt them. Now if you will excuse me...” With that he walked off in the direction that Patton had left. Virgil just looked on with a shocked expression as Logan and Patton met up, and Patton gave Logan a hug. Albeit still and hesitant, it was a hug nonetheless. Logan, who had never touched Virgil for more than a handshake or a high-five, was hugging the royal duke.

“How much stranger can this day get?”

—————


iknowthisissuperlatepleasedontkillme

At least it is nearly 3 times longer than usual? Does that start to make up for it?

Yeah no, but we can pretend. i did not think this chapter would be this long. I’m happy we get to start seeing some actual interaction between the ships this time!

Taglist: @monroig @anaussiefander @www-dot-ohshit-dot-com @treasureofpriam @ghosttb0y @mostpeopleannoyne @athenashipsthings @icequeenorginal @cas-is-a-hunter  @justastressedprincess @rebeyerfdog @felicianoromano @roxiefox24 @laytonsartblog @bestbluebouquet@colorfulamo @alexanndrite

[stillness-in-green]

Changeling: The League (2/3)

Being the next installment of my deeply nerdy spur-of-the-moment decision to do up a bunch of My Hero Academia villains as Changeling: The Lost characters.  For some introductory info and the League of Villains, check this post.  Or hit the jump for the Meta Liberation Army!  

THE METAHUMAN LIBERATION ARMY

Considerably reduced from what they are in canon (I don’t think there are 116,000 changelings in Japan, much less that many changeling dissidents!), the leaders of the MLA are instead a band of secret loyalists for the Keeper called Destro, who have spent a great many years preparing for a chance to bring him to the real world in full glory, unhindered by time limits or reduced powers.  The requirements are many and arcane, with a huge number of ways things could fall to disarray.  Thus they find to their great alarm that their prophecies are suddenly skewing when the truth of Shigaraki’s durance/Keeper comes out--there are two “heirs,” it seems, and fate is swirling, and it will only settle over one of them in the end.  

The group has its fingers in some of the more obscure fluff-book magic--fate-crafting, oracular dreams and the like--and collectively share a massively decked-out Hollow.

Re-Destro

Quote: “Everyone has a purpose to serve.”

Type: Gargantuan Ogre/Treasured Fairest dual kith.  The incarnation of Destro’s will.  Born in Faerie, he spent his early years being instructed (and molded) always--stand up straight, speak more clearly, be stronger, be better, you are the one who will herald me.  Re-Destro was delivered out of the Hedge at seven years old clutching a squall knife as long as his arm, his mind filled with the knowledge that he was the one who would see Destro ushered into the real world.  He was welcomed, open-armed, by those changelings who had been sent before.  He has spent over thirty years in the real world since then, scrupulously maintaining a startlingly high Clarity, but Destro whispers in his dreams more nights than not, and Rikiya (as he was named, though he has a true name his mother whispered against his head as an infant, now long forgotten) has always had the nagging feeling that the mundane Earth is not his true home.  

A tall, stiff-shouldered man in his Mask, Rikiya looks much as he does in canon, though without the stress spots on his forehead and with a nose that’s merely prominent, rather than a cartoonishly huge beak.  He’s quite tall and can go from mildly unassuming to toweringly imposing on a dime.  In mien, his hair goes more coppery and his skin becomes unblemished marble, the palest shade of jade in color, tinging ever so slightly darker around his joints.  His nose returns to its canonically proper glory, and the places where his hairline recedes in his mask are revealed to be making room for a pair of broad, curving horns, emerald green at the tips.  He’s unusually clean-hewn for an Ogre, not handsome, per se, but undeniably striking.  When he uses his kith blessing, he grows to profound sizes (shredding even the most cleverly crafted Hedgespun), easily as tall as a two storey building.  Naturally, he tries not to do that kind of thing around mortal witnesses.

Rikiya’s Wyrd is getting quite high (it was high even as a child, as might reasonably be predicted), so particularly sensitive or addled humans will sometimes see or experience fragments of his true form--his unyielding skin, a brief glimpse of the shadow of his horns, the echoing weight of his footsteps on stone floors.  His potent Wyrd and his affinity with the home of the Gentry means that his magic sometimes leaks into objects he keeps on his person for too long--it’s an issue he’s aware of, and practically speaking, it mostly means that he never wears anything more than a day in a row.  He has a staggering variety of suits and ties.  

Court/Mantle: Courtless.  With high-ranking friends in a sprawling freehold overseen by Directional Courts, Rikiya makes rounds in all of them.  He’s a deft hand with Hedgespun and his works are in high demand at even the most discerning changeling markets.  His home is in the center--close to the epicenter, in fact.

Contracts: Barbarically focused, though he uses both of his contracts sparingly.  His experience has gone more into his, shall we say, inherent magic.  

        Vainglory I-V.  Even when playing the role of a popular but unranked freehold member, or a canny designer of mundane accessories, Re-Destro has never forgotten who and what he is, and when he’s using these Contracts, that comes out with psyche-bruising force.  His higher-tier invocations tend to cause his colors to mottle somewhat, infusing to darker shades of green around his face--the hollows of his eyes particularly--and extremities.  

        Stone I-V.  Unbelievably strong whenever he needs to be.  He tries to avoid combat or let his underlings handle it when he can--he has very few problems maintaining his Clarity, but causing harm to others is a surefire way to disturb it--but when he does break these out, he’s as difficult to put down as a berserker.  Tends to take relaxing vacations after any occasion where he’s had to really work this. 

Curious 

Quote: ”You’ve got the look of someone with a story to tell.  I want to hear all about it.”

Type: Cleareyes Beast.  Once upon a time, she was a journalist with a nose for a story--well, she’s a journalist still, with a nose like you wouldn’t believe.  Talented and quick-witted, both traits won her attention from Destro’s “recruiters,” but it was her tenaciousness that finally saw her brought in from the snow and the hunts, a semblance of a human form returned to her, and the bright ambrosia of purpose poured down her throat.  Delivered to Re-Destro when he was in his 20s, Chitose is a hunter and a dream-spinner, a trickster with a deft and ruthless touch for talecrafting.  She remembers the headiness of blood on her tongue, and she can always smell a bleeding heart.  

A fox changeling, though given her bent of viciousness and her unusual coloring, you could be forgiven for thinking her a kumiho or a particularly wicked kitsune.  In mien, she has long, thick white hair and a pair of white tails (three in the dreamscape), tipped in black like stained ink brushes, that match her long, tufted ears.  Her whole body’s covered in a fine layer of silken fur; she’s got a lupine lengthiness to her features and sharp teeth in her smile.  In her mask, her hair’s rich and dark and she seems to have a perpetual healthy glow to her skin, tipping into a noticeably high, intemperate flush when her passions are aroused.  A beauty in either form, she has thin, seemingly delicate wrists and ankles, but moves with a quick, decisive grace.  Her eyes are blue with just a hint of the green they used to be, the color standing out sharply from the ring of her black eyelashes.  

Court/Mantle: The South, seat of ecstasy.  Chitose remembers the purity of her emotions in Faerie, remembers heights of euphoria and shocks of terror that stole her breath away, but out in the real world, she feels muted and muffled, never quite fulfilled, as if she’s always groping for an outstretched hand that’s just out of reach.  The Court of Song gets her closest to that reckless, all-pervading sensation, and so she throws herself headlong into its giddy pursuit of obsession.  Her mantle wraps her in a sensual warmth and, when she’s particularly worked up, wisps of thin white smoke scented like heady incense or burning sugar.  Every so often, when her eyes catch the light in a dark room, they reflect red instead of green.

Contracts: 

        Den I-III.  She considers herself to have every right to be wherever she finds herself and is not about to let a home security system stop her when she’s chasing any sort of rabbit.

        Dream I-IV.  Whether she’s digging for a story or pushing a narrative, dreams are fruitful ground with a multiplicity of uses, none of which she’s squeamish about implementing.  Curious is a terror, asleep or awake.  

        Omen I-III.  While she’s not much interested in fortune-telling as a method for long-term strategic planning (you want Skeptic for that), she does absolutely have a use for powers that give her visions of someone’s worst memory or upcoming major life events.  

Skeptic

Quote: “Do you have any idea what kind of shitstorm we have coming down on us?  What?  You can’t see the future?  I guess that means you should shut the hell up and stop distracting those of us who have something useful to contribute then, doesn’t it?!”

Type: Oracle Wizened.  Destro knew that his followers would need someone who could properly interpret signs and portents, so set his recruiters to finding someone with an eye for secret signs, a knack for the languages of symbolism and metaphor.  Most of them brought back psychics or sensitive children, but one particularly old recruiter, for whom “computers” were a new and strange novelty, brought back Tomoyasu.  An electronics whiz-kid from a young age, Tomoyasu was in high school at the time, but already doing college prep.  He was driven and competitive but, crucially, willing to explain things to people who didn’t understand them.  In Faerie, his eyes were opened (forcibly, sometimes with clamps) to a great many more languages and codes, and his competitive personality honed to a vicious edge because you did not want to be a failure, not at any cost.  

Now that he’s been sent back to the real world, Skeptic has a presence in many realms.  He’s still quite good with computers, of course, but there’s the much more important work of Destro that needs to be done, and that involves both tasks for now and plans laid for later.  As such, he maintains dream pledges with a number of psychics (mostly fresh ones, though there are a few shattered survivors from amongst his rivals for his current position).  Unlike Curious, he isn’t interested in digging in their dreams or using them as staging grounds for larger projects; he only needs them to help him fill in his understanding of the future.  He and Re-Destro do a great measure of the work in maintaining the group Hollow.  

Rail-thin and gangly, Skeptic stalks about his environment with a constant sense of bloody-minded productivity.  He’s rarely without a laptop or tablet tucked in one arm and wears exclusively black, which just adds to the impression of being The World’s Gothiest Scarecrow.  His eyes are always hidden, behind his long bangs, razor-thin sunglasses, or--on more formal Court occasions--a broad silk blindfold, but glimpses of them are always alarmingly bloodshot.  In mien, his hands and arms are dotted with tattoos and scarification, faerie glyphs and sigils, and his eyes are filmed with blood.  He may not actually have eyelids--certainly no one has ever seen him blink.  Usually has a sword or the emblem of one on his person somewhere--a custom of his Court, because the heavens know he’s no swordfighter.

Court/Mantle: The West, seat of honor.  Very much a means to an end.  Skeptic has little interest in martialtry, but the needs of Destro demand that someone do it, and his obsessive perfectionism and rigidly high standards for himself make him the best fit--and anyway, the Court of War does need strategists.  He’s learned how to handle weapons in a perfunctory sort of way, but he’s a much better shot with a rifle than one would expect from the state of his eyes, especially if he’s got some time to spend fidgeting with one for a little bit before he has to fire it.  His mantle is relatively low, compared to most of his motley-mates, and manifests as a penetrating chill to the air and a slightly sharper tang of blood-smell than just his red-rimmed eyes can explain.  

Contracts: 

        Animation I-V.  You don’t have to waste time learning how to operate anything if the object itself will tell you how to use it, and you don’t have to stand around waving a sword at people when you can have the sword wield itself.  “Inanimate” nothing; as a rule, he likes objects better than people.  

        Artifice I.  Object touchy because it’s busted?  Nothing a bit of magic can’t fix (at least for long enough to get the job done.

        Hours I-IV.  The result of Skeptic’s understanding of objects crashing together with his oracular abilities.  The time magic he can work on inanimate objects is very useful (and yes, the way Shigaraki warps the first clause of this drives him absolutely mad), but the real miracle is what the ability to control time dilation in the Hedge does for his and his motley’s productivity.

Trumpet

Quote:  “I’m sure we’ll succeed.  After all, we’re the ones he chose.” 

Type: Fairest Muse.  The only member of the MLA motley proper that has any ambivalent feelings about The Destro Revival Festival.  He’s about Re-Destro’s age, but was kidnapped at a much less tender age than the rest, well into his adulthood.  He was an up-and-coming civil servant at the time, then spent longer than he can remember in Faerie, rallying crowds and practicing speeches until his throat bled and cracked into silence, learning to channel some portion of Destro’s white-hot conviction and magnetic presence, for all that being vessel to those traits felt like it burned the soul out of him.  Hanabata was charismatic and persuasive while he went in and his time in Faerie amplified those traits beyond belief, but he isn’t so broken as to believe that Destro did him some kind of favor.  

He is, however, quite broken enough to believe that Destro is undefeatable and that he has no real choices in the matter.  He was returned barely a week after he was taken in real-Earth time, dropped on Re-Destro’s lap when the latter was just getting started in establishing himself.  He’s spent the twenty years since then doing whatever needs to be done in order to smooth Re-Destro’s path (he’s unusually prominent in human politics for a changeling; indeed, he’s amassed some fairly significant temporal authority) and watching the rest of his ordained motley grow up.  They’re really the only people keeping him going; Hanabata thinks they’re far more damaged than he, and in many ways he’s right--he has a much clearer grasp on what they’ve all lost, even if some of them never had it to begin with--but he’s also very badly hurt in his own way, lacking even the devoted fervor of the cause to fill up the empty spaces left in what used to be his optimism.  

His mask looks like the Trumpet of the canon, minus the ever-present sense of pomade and the facial hair that can’t decide if it wants to be a mustache or not; he’s just clean-shaven.  He has a wry, expressive mouth and a nearly hypnotic voice, a baritone by turns soothing or rolling.  There’s an indefinable sense of presence to him; just looking at him makes brave people want to strike up a conversation and timid people lurk about in vague hopes of leeching up some of his confident vibes. His mien just amplifies it; he’s impossibly magnetic, with strong features and eyes the kind of green you could get lost in.  His voice is even more of a marvel here, resonant and penetrating in ways humans couldn’t typically manage without augmentation.  When out in public, he wears a camera-ready smile as faithfully as a wedding band; in private, he’s markedly more subdued.   

Court/Mantle: The East, seat of envy.  Trumpet’s talents make him marvelously well-suited for this Court, but it isn’t just a matter of practicality, as the Court of the West is for Skeptic.  No, Trumpet is intimately familiar with the thumbscrew feeling of envy--no free changeling can even begin to grasp how bitterly he covets their ignorance.  His mantle can be difficult to pick apart from the gripping presence of his seeming, but when he’s working magic, it’s frequently accompanied by the bizarre sense to onlookers that he’s taller than he really is.  Even if someone is standing right next to him and knows perfectly well that they’re taller than him, sometimes they’ll blink and their eyes will lie, vision inverting such that Trumpet seems to be looking down at them.  Every so often, when he’s on a roll, his eyes will gleam the perfect yellow-white of the sun reflecting on newly-minted coins.   

Contracts: 

        Vainglory I-III.  Not as advanced in his understanding of this Contract as Re-Destro, but the effect is considerably more potent when he’s using it.  

        Hearth I-V.  As engrossing as it is to listen to him talk, Trumpet’s real talent is in inspiring others, and the Contracts of fair and foul fortune just amplify that.   

        Fleeting Spring I and Fleeting Autumn I.  First levels of the seasonal contracts don’t require Seasonal Court goodwill, but he’d probably get it from any Spring Court in the country anyway.  Envy is close cousins with Desire, after all.  Whichever the case, manipulating people is easier when you know both what they want and what they fear.

Geten

Quote: “Ice is never far away.  Prepare yourself.”  

Type: Snowskin Elemental.  Geten remembers little of their time before Faerie--in fact, they have very little recollection of the passage of any of the time that must have brought them to their current age.  Their memory is like one huge block of ice, solid from wall to wall with cold and scarcity.  If some of that scarcity, back at the very beginning, is colored in a different palette than Destro’s winter, well, it’s still of a piece with the rest, so what does it matter?  All of their life was the winter--until Re-Destro appeared and chose them.  Out in the real world, Geten knows, intellectually, about the whole “herald of Destro” thing and devotes themself to the cause with admirable fervor, but in truth, that fervor is far more dedicated to Re-Destro than it is their True Fae Keeper, of whom Geten recalls next to nothing.  Generally serious and driven, Geten enjoys feeling that their actions have meaning beyond just keeping them alive, so they’re never happier than when they’re fighting for Re-Destro in concrete, measurable ways.  Generally poorly socialized in ways that would make their life much more difficult if they didn’t have Rikiya looking out for them.  

In mask, Geten is a slight youth with shoulder-length, white-blonde hair and unusual pale gray eyes.  They have a delicate-looking face that’s incongruous with their rather feral personality.  In mein, their hair is fully white, as are the glowing pupils of their eyes.  Their already fair skin goes bloodlessly pale, and even on the hottest day, their features are kissed with a rime of frost.  They wear long sleeved, full-length clothes at all times of the year, though curiously, they dress more heavily in summer than in winter.  

Court/Mantle: The North, seat of suffering.  Something of an unusual case in their freehold, where the power of the Directional Courts holds sway, Geten emerged from the Hedge with a strong Winter mantle.  No matter that they’re sworn to the Armor Court, that raw affinity to the Court of Sorrow remains.  This odd duality, seen by some as untrustworthy, has largely kept them from advancing very far despite their apparent dedication to the Stupa’s focused, ascetic lifestyle.  They’re frequently mistaken for being courtless, particularly in a freehold that’s less familiar with the look of the Silent Arrow than those who move in Seasonal Court circles would be.  The lack of any obvious sign of a mantle is itself the tell--Winter always makes its changelings look more stark, as if somehow etched more clearly into the fabric of the world, unobscured by other connections.  Likewise, their magic is all ice-themed anyway, so many don’t realize that the brief gusts of snow around them are a sign of their mantle--but every so often, there will be a brush of pale ash on those winds, a sign that, for all that Winter lives in their bones, Geten has still embraced the North.  

Contracts: These speak for themselves.  Geten’s power set, more than anyone in these posts, hews closely to canon!Geten’s quirk meta-ability.  

        Elements (Ice) I-IV.  Exacts control over ice.  They’re protected from it, they’re protected by it, they control it, and it answers their call (though their range is not anywhere close to canon!Geten’s).   

        Communion (Ice) I-III.  Very unlike canon!Geten, the changeling version is ice-born enough that they speak with it like kin.  Ice isn’t much of a gossiper, as elements go, but it reflects things, sometimes, and knows the shape of everything it touches.  They can extend this awareness as far out as a mile in most weather, though the range is much shorter in e.g. a blizzard, when trying to take in that much information would be overwhelming.  

        Eternal Winter I-III.  Don’t have ice?  Make your own!  Again, not as wide-ranging as canon!Geten’s, but serves much the same purpose.  Geten can also, like Spinner, perform emergency thermostat duties, though Spinner’s control over heat allows him to turn it up or expel it, while Geten’s is only ever going to make things colder.

BONUS TIDBITS: 

Changeling!Re-Destro needs to be able to get around in the human world without being prone to fits of hallucination and delirium, and his magic isn't dependent on his stress levels, so unlike his canon self, he gets to have actual vacation time, do soothing yoga, etc.

Geten and Curious had some durance overlap, but neither of them remember it clearly.  Curious’s memories of that time are too patchy, while Geten’s are too hard to pare down into individual moments.  Geten does feel a sense of familiarity towards Curious, but they don’t talk about it much after the one time they described it as being, “Like she was...inside me, for a while,” and everyone looked really weirded out.  

Changeling!Geten is nonbinary because It’s My AU And I’ll Do What I Want.  They are made of ice and do not really understand what the deal is with gender.

Magne doesn’t die in this AU because It’s My AU And I’ll Do What I Want.  She and Curious have to team up to brainstorm a strategy for an epic oneiromachy duel with Destro that will decisively eject him from Rikiya’s dreams without reducing Rikiya to a drooling husk.    

Trumpet is the true wild card in this AU.  The other Destro-ites have never really even considered the prospect of breaking free from Destro; Trumpet has, but rather than that making him the person who’s the easiest to sway, it makes him the person most resolutely convinced that betraying Destro will lead only to suffering.  The lengths that conviction will drive him to make him a severe danger to his motley the moment they begin considering abandoning their mission.

[nyrator]

some more ny life updates, feat. MBTI stuff, dreams, financial decisions, ACNH checklists, and Radiohead opinions

incredibly depressed lately to be honest, but trying not to be too depressed for this post- basically a place to vent without being super negative because it be public and stuff, helps calm me down, maybe

helping other people with depression is too hard for me, I think. Feels bad to distance myself, but I think avoiding rumination is all I can do when it gets to that point

decided to re-take one of those personality things recently because why not, friends were doing it. I don’t hold much weight to them personally but at least I seem to be consistently this result every few years

for reference, an earlier test:

https://www.16personalities.com/istp-personality

reading through the weaknesses and romantic parts, it almost eerie how it describes me. It’s wrong on the sex part, but feels right just about everywhere else. They even quote me on saying this at the end part. The nice thing is, apparently Kresna’s personality result is my ideal match, which is fitting.

I tend to think my personality is a very flawed one, unfortunately, at least when it comes to social relationships. I don’t like being flattered or praised, nor do I tend to show appreciation to those that deserve it, I feel. Feeling people are slighted by my lack of attention or affection for them more and more.

Energy in general is such a hard thing to grasp. Lately I just can’t seem to do or focus on anything, nor do I have any strong desires to do anything. Feels hard to draw or make anything, and I’m wondering how I’ll finish up that Artfight thing. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep, maybe just change my sleep schedule and only be awake when no one else is, and just keep to myself

been laying in bed a lot lately, and I’ve noticed a trend in actually having dreams when I’m taking a nap- or at least, that weird “trying to take a nap but keeping eyes half-open basically because I don’t actually want to fall asleep” zone

both dreams I had this week involved different things that I forget, but the core part was basically my family assaulting me, pinning me to the wall, and speaking my darkest secrets into my ear.

First one was my late sister being a prick and possibly uncovering my secret and me trying to get rid of her, while her boyfriend grabs me by the throat and lifts me off the ground into the wall as she mocks me. Second one that I just had earlier tonight, I don’t even remember the context, but basically had my mother disgusted by me, forcefully pinning my arm behind my back and slamming me face first into a wall, telling me she’s aware and disgusted by all my secrets.

Earlier this month, I also had one of my first dreams in months, but it was one of my reoccurring humiliation dreams. Except this time, there was blood. It was a very uncomfortable dream.

I wonder if these dreams mean anything about my psyche or whatever lately.

but yeah, have a lot of money lately, yet still feels sickening to spend money on myself still. I feel like I’ve spent too much on myself lately, and it feels bleh. I like spending money on Kresna, but he doesn’t let me do it often, but it’s always appreciated when he does.

ended up setting up an eye exam in three weeks- decided to order my own frames this time, but shopping for frames is hard. Ended up buying these two (since I always seem to have to buy two pairs for some probably insurance-related reason), but frames are extremely hard to shop for, at least for me, and that lavender look I like is extremely hard to come by

I wonder if I show my appreciation for lavender too much- I think I want to go for thicker frames like the top one, though the bottom ones are like my old frames (same company), and have that metallic lavender look that I love. If I ever had a dream car, it’d be in that color, honestly.

speaking of cars, my neighbor is trying to sell us her old 1997 Saturn for $250, but I’m not sure if I want it, to be honest- One, it’s so old, two, it’s a stick, which I only have basic knowledge on how to drive, and three, I don’t like driving. I think my mother told her yes, which is unfortunate, but we’ll see how it goes.

some other financial decisions lately- bedding, bottles, and slippers (not shown- the more convenient backless purple slippers I now regularly wear, as well as more personal items)

throw pillows are good for holding while sleeping and for preventing my arms from waking up entirely numb sometimes

been thinking about buying more clothes and furniture, but now that I probably won’t be getting the extra $1000 with my unemployment, it’s even harder to justify buying anything. I’d like a new desk, at least- something able to display things would be nice. My boss told me I’ll be going back to work soon hopefully, so that would be nice, especially since this virus is a good excuse to not bring back my coworker and to give me full-time hours, but even then, spending money is hard. Been thinking about a new mousepad since I’ve had this old one for longer than I can remember (probably a college gift), but even something simple like that is tough.

in other random news, slowly trying to make progress in ACNH still- and by that I mean I’ve finally started keeping a checklist for items (had Bugs/Fish already, but now have DIYs and man there’s so many DIYs I’m missing, also Dresses - Umbrella tabs of clothing, basically everything but Tops and Bottoms so far, and mannn, there’s a lot of stuff, but I basically have almost every accessory/sock/shoe in purple/pink at least, now just grinding my way through the rest of the colors I skipped. Also caught a Golden Stag today, only three beetles left (Giraffe, Hercules, and Elephant, I believe)

should probably start saving my extra bugs/fish for making models for Justin Beaver and Hot Topic, I realize- collecting those models really doesn’t interest me much, but at the same time, I have a weird obsession with trying to 100% Animal Crossing games (at a reasonable speed, of course- figure I’d wait until next year to worry about those two)

haven’t tried dreaming yet and honestly my island is still a mess that I’m still hesitant because I still have no idea what to fill it with or how to organize it

one last thing I did buy is the rest of the Radiohead albums though- I now own all their albums, except disc 2 of In Rainbows, though. Should probably listen to that on Youtube, not sure where to find a physical release of it. Decided to rank them, because I like ranking things apparently, even though overall it doesn’t mean much since my tastes shift constantly, and every album is good to listen to in my opinion (honestly more of a way of solidifying a future “best of” playlist)

Personal feelings of ranking at the moment:

Hail to the Thief (every song is top tier, I just want to shout them all out, but in particular I think “A Punchup at a Wedding“, “Myxomatosis“, “2+2=5″, and “Sit down. Stand up” are my favorites)

In Rainbows (my old favorite before HttT blew it away, though I think ”Weird Fishes/Arpeggi” is still my favorite Radiohead song, also shout outs to “Videotape” and “Jigsaw Falling Into Place”)

Kid A (I was lukewarm to the album at first, but it has a lot of tunes that stand out to me, “Idioteque” is also one of my favorite Radiohead songs, also shout outs to "Everything in Its Right Place" and "How to Disappear Completely")

OK Computer (this is where placings start getting fuzzy, “Paranoid Android” was their first song I ever listened to and loved back in high school, thanks to Ergo Proxy, great song, though I think I’ve oversaturated myself to this album by having it play as my driving music when I still had a car. Shout outs to “Exit Music (For A Film)” and “Let Down”. “Karma Police” is also up there but feels a bit less than those I suppose)

A Moon Shaped Pool (I’d place this higher when I’m looking for a more somber/reflective album to listen to, otherwise about tied with OK Computer. My favorite on the album, “Daydreaming”, is what reintroduced me to Radiohead and got me obsessed with them- this album was my first album, though it’s definitely softer compared to their usual stuff. Also driving music so a bit oversaturated, and it feels harder to shout out specific songs, but shout outs “Ful Stop”, “Glass Eyes”, and heck, basically most of the later songs on the album)

Amnesiac (Some good songs, but just not to the levels of the others. “Knives Out” is a great song though, and I tend to like the first half of the album more than the last half, last half is pretty weak to me honestly- though I got it fairly recently, so may require more listenings)

Pablo Honey (the latest album I got, so it’s still fresh in my head and thus nothing is permanent with it compared to the others, but mannn, people undersold this album, it feels solid front to back. I honestly want to put it higher, I think. Hard to identify individual songs, but shout outs to “Blow Out” in particular, “I Can’t” as well- but again, every song is great, so might say it’s close to A Moon Shaped Pool levels in rankings)

The Bends (one of their first albums I got, also a car album, but definitely didn’t click with me like the others. I have warmed up to it more than I originally did at least- I mainly got the album because heck yeah “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” is a great track, also shout outs to “The Black Star”, that’s like, one of my random “mouth out the chorus in the car” songs. I also tend to have “High and Dry” in my head a lot for some reason, but yeah, good car music, but not much else going for it I think)

The King of Limbs (the second-latest album I own and also the least listened to album I own, but it feels very... non-standout-ish. Like it’s almost too simple-sounding, or repetitive, or something, definitely the weakest album in my personal opinion. Can’t even think of a song to shout out, so I guess “Lotus Flower”, honestly, but again, I need to listen to the album more. Good background noise but just nothing that jumps out at me)

but yeah radiohead is definitely my favorite music group, I’d say, and also realize almost every album has a bonus disc, so hm, more music to find it seems (admittedly I’m not a fan of live music in general, which seems to fill up a lot of these bonus discs)

[thedollarcrate]

50 Best Albums (That I Own on Vinyl) of the Decade

It’s hard to comprehend how much transpires over the course of a decade or wrap your head around how long (or short) of time that really is.

But what better way to try than to make a list!

Now, I know “Best of” lists like this one are inherently subjective – and probably say more about their maker’s preferences than actually reflecting the best music released in a particular time period. And, I’ll be the first to admit that the list below is incredibly limited, and that I need to widen my exposure to more artists and genres.

But hey, this is all in fun.

So feel free to debate, pick apart or share your own favorite albums from the past decade. But before you dive in, just a few quick points for context:

-I only ranked albums I actually own on vinyl released between 2010 and 2019, which limited my choices to about 170 records.

-I only ranked new music released this past decade, so no reissues or older material released for the first time (sorry Prince’s Piano & A Microphone and Originals).

-I first started buying vinyl around ’09-’10 and started off purchasing mostly new releases before my habits shifted and I started looking for older records. This shows in the list below – nearly a quarter of the albums below were released in 2010 and almost 70% from the first half of the decade.

And we’re off…

50. Centipede Hz, Animal Collective (2012)

Let’s be honest, it was impossible for Animal Collective to top a universally acclaimed and era-defining album – and it was unfair to expect them to. But maybe the continuous onslaught of bizarre and eclectic music found on Centipede Hz was just what we needed after all.

49. Singles, Future Islands (2014)

So much more than Sam Herring’s pelvis busting dance moves and “Seasons (Waiting On You),” every track on Singlesbursts with life and heart pumping  energy. To quote Letterman: I’ll take all of that you got.

48. Paul’s Tomb: A Triumph, Frog Eyes (2010)

I don’t think I’ll ever understand Carey Mercer’s lyrics, but I’m certain I’ll never tire of getting lost in his hidden words and knotty melodies.

47. Leaving Atlanta, Gentleman Jesse (2012)

Thirty seven minutes of Pure Power Pop Perfection (note the capital “Ps”).

46. Burst Apart, The Antlers (2011)

If there’s another album with a song titled “Putting the Dog to Sleep” that is as haunting and beautiful as this one, I don’t want to know about it.

45. Carrion Crawler/The Dream, Thee Oh Sees (2011)

With John Dwyer churning out record after record in the ‘10s, it should come as no surprise that at least one landed on this list (and they’re all great). Garage rock. Surf rock. Post-punk rock. Psych rock. Noise rock. Rock rock. I don’t care what you call it, Thee Oh Sees put the pedal to the metal on Carrion Crawler/The Dream, taking you for a wild ride that never lets up.

44. 1989, Taylor Swift (2014)

Irresistibly catchy, everyone needs to satisfy their pop sweet tooth every now and then. 1989 is so sugary, it might just give you a cavity or two.

43. City Music, Kevin Morby (2017)

The city. The countryside. A beach. Aboard a train. At the pearly gates. It doesn’t matter where you listen to City Music because Kevin Morby’s jams will immediately transport you to your own laid back, happy place.

42. Remind Me Tomorrow, Sharon Van Etten (2019)

You’ll regret it if you keep waiting to listen this powerhouse – and powerful – synth-soaked record.

41. You Want It Darker, Leonard Cohen (2016)

It doesn’t get much darker, bleaker or sparse than this, but I wouldn’t want it any other way from the masterful Leonard Cohen.

40. American Dream, LCD Soundsystem (2017)

Retirement never sounded so good.

39. Capacity, Big Thief (2017)

Quietly captivating, mesmerizing and elegant, Big Thief knock you out without you even realizing it.

38. St. Vincent, St. Vincent (2014)

Annie Clark’s shapeshifting album won’t only shred your face off, it somehow makes you feel smarter, too.

37. Before Today, Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti (2010)

So, so weird and so, so good.

36. Expo 86, Wolf Parade (2010)

Like #50, Wolf Parade might always live in the shadow and expectations of a towering classic, yet somehow Spencer Krug and Dan Boeckner still continually craft eccentric and bombastic rock albums. Expo 86 is no exception, and it is an underrated classic in its own right.

35. Golden Hour, Kacey Musgraves (2018)

Like a sunset or sunrise, Golden Hour radiates beauty and warmth with each of its glowing tracks.

34. Yuck, Yuck (2011)

Despite their name and its hideous album cover, there’s nothing gross about Yuck’s infectious indie rock.

33. Play It Strange, The Fresh & Onlys (2010)

I once saw The Fresh & Onlys play at a tiny club in D.C. It might’ve been the loudest show I’ve ever been to – my ears rang for days. This record is just as rollicking, hazy and good as that show was loud.

32. Natalie Prass, Natalie Prass (2015)

There’s a reason “Welcome to 1979” is stamped in tiny letters on this vinyl’s inner ring – it’s silky smooth, filled with impeccable soft ballads and finely tuned jams – and just a tinge of funk.

31. I Am Easy To Find, The National (2019)

Few bands matched the consistent output of quality albums in the ‘10s as The National. They had one heck of a run, and I Am Easy To Find was a fascinating way to end it – a 21st rock album that felt more complex and expansive than anything they’d done before.

30. Melodrama, Lorde (2018)

Everything a pop record should be and then some – bold, breathtaking and exuberant.

29. Just Enough Hip To Be Woman, Broncho (2014)

If you can’t tell from its playful title, this pop rock album wants nothing more than to have fun – and it succeeds on every level.

28. Avi Buffalo, Avi Buffalo (2010)

Sometimes all you want is a light, sunny and meandering album to wash over you and get lost in, and this one will do the trick every time.

27. Hippies, Harlem (2010)

Imagine a band practicing inside a garage inside a garage inside another garage and you’ve got Harlem. This is garage rock to the max – and at its rambunctious best.

26. Puberty 2, Mitski (2016)

It’s hard to describe Puberty 2. Sure, it might sound like simple dreamy indie rock, but it ebbs and flows in unexpected ways that leaves you guessing where it’s heading next.

25. mbv, My Bloody Valentine (2013)

Picking up right where they left off – even if it was more than a decade later – My Bloody Valentine reminded everyone why they are the masters of reverb soaked shoegaze.

24. A Moon Shaped Pool, Radiohead (2016)

Even after all these years and albums, Radiohead still found a way to reinvent themselves and push the boundaries of rock music – and our expectations of them. With gorgeous arrangements and slow-burning, tension filled tracks, AMSP proves that even Radiohead can still take risks – and proves rock bands can make quiet, intimate songs sound epic. Oh yeah, and it has “True Love Waits.”

23. Art Angels, Grimes (2015)

Grimes gave us the future of pop music before most could even envision it. This laid the groundwork for all the challenging and intricate – and danceable – pop music that would follow. And it still sounds ahead of its time.

22. Meet Me At The Muster Station, PS I Love You (2010)

The first sounds out of Paul Saulnier’s mouth on Meet Me At The Munster Station aren’t words at all but two short, ecstatic yelps. And this same boundless energy and passion bleeds through on every fuzzy, raucous second of every track. Did I mention there’s a song called “Butterflies & Boners”?

21. More Than Any Other Day, Ought (2014)

You really ought to listen to Ought if you aren’t already. Tim Darcy and co. sound a bit uneasy, paranoid and self-aware, but they make the most minute challenges sound so exhilarating and life-altering – even the struggle deciding between two percent and whole milk at the grocery store.

20. Lemonade, Beyoncé (2017)

All hail Queen Bey.

19. Twin-Hand Movement, Lower Dens (2010)

This album sounds like 2 am on a dark, rainy Saturday night – in the best way imaginable.

18. Tomboy, Panda Bear (2011)

You can always count on Panda Bear to make hypnotic, loopy electronic music sound so breezy and effortless.

17. Modern Vampires Of The City, Vampire Weekend (2013)

I don’t know why, but I want to dislike Vampire Weekend so much. But that’s impossible when their music is so damn good and every note sounds so neat and perfect.

16. Past Life Martyred Saints, EMA (2011)

Just do yourself and listen to this album please.

15. The Archandroid, Janelle Monáe (2010)

Blending too many genres to count, this is what I imagine music sounds like in space.

14. Carrie & Lowell, Sufjan Stevens (2015)

I’ll let you know how I feel about this one after I stop crying.

13. The Suburbs, Arcade Fire (2010)

It’s everything you either love or hate about Arcade Fire. Grand, sincere and sweeping rock that swings for the fences with every guitar chord, drumbeat and horn blast. I love it.

12. Silence Yourself, Savages (2013)

Savages grab you by the throat and never let go – this is one intense album.

11. Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes (2011)

This might be the epitome of ‘10s indie rock – and for good reason. Introspective, sensitive and searching for some greater meaning, Robin Pecknold holds nothing back and lays it all out on Helplessness Blues.

10. Kaputt, Destroyer (2011)

Dan Bejar is an enigma and seemingly reluctant rock star. I saw him perform an acoustic set where he spent a majority of the time playing with his back towards the audience (although in fairness, it was at a free outdoor show on a college campus with people mostly chatting obnoxiously over him), and yet it’s as if his creativity requires him to constantly release new albums and show them off. Kaputt is as equally strange and mysterious – and just as creative – as its maker.

9. Black Star, David Bowie (2016)

Take away the heartbreaking circumstances surrounding this album’s release and it would still be in the top tier of David Bowie’s extensive catalogue. Experimenting until the very end, Bowie morphed into something entirely new one last time. Part jazz, part rock and part I’m not sure what you would call it, the results were once again out of this world. He couldn’t give it all away, but we’re sure thankful for what he could.

8. Bon Iver, Bon Iver (2011)

Shedding the cabin in the woods vibe, Justin Vernon took a giant leap forward with Bon Iver and made ‘80s soft rock popular.

7. Celebration Rock, Japandroids (2012)

Perhaps the most aptly named album on this list, no other album exudes the joy of making music and rocking out with your buddy than this one. It’s hard to believe all that noise and energy comes from just two people.

6. Burn Your Fire For No Witness, Angel Olsen (2014)

Angel Olsen’s hypnotic and seductive vocals, lyrics and guitar suck you in immediately, mesmerizing you from the first gentle strums to the peaks and valleys of “Lights Out” and “Stars” all the way to the closer’s pulsing drumbeats and majestic piano.

5. Black Messiah, D'Angelo And The Vanguard (2015)

Oozing with cool, sexy and confident R&B funk, D’Angelo returned after 14 years with an instant soul masterpiece.

4. The Monitor, Titus Andronicus (2010)

It says a lot when a band can a.) make an hour plus punk rock record b.) loosely base it on the Civil War c.) quote Abraham Lincoln d.) close it out with a 14 minute track inspired by a famous naval battle and e.) still make you want to listen to it over and over and over again.

3. Lost In The Dream, The War On Drugs (2014)

The rare album that can feel vast and ambitious and yet deeply private and personal all at once. You really will get lost in these soaring songs.

2. Halcyon Digest, Deerhunter (2010)

At times perfectly melodic and structured and at others feeling on the brink of falling apart, Halcyon Digest is a paradox – sounding peaceful, bright and idyllic while also peering over the edge into something darker. This is a remarkable record from a remarkable band. If not for the abrupt end to the darkly beautiful closer “He Would Have Laughed,” Halcyon Digest sounds like it could go on forever.

1. Let England Shake, PJ Harvey (2011)

A stunning, thought-provoking, and moving – not to mention endlessly listenable – transcendent piece of art about life and the Great War. PJ Harvey doesn’t hold back on the brutality and absurdity of armed conflict, and the album’s devastating closing track – “The Colour of the Earth” – will linger in your mind long after the record stops spinning. As powerful today as it was eight years ago, this album will remain timely and important for years – and decades – to come.

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Weekly Media Roundup

- Barbarities (Manga) - Hell Yeah! My favorite slow burn BL series (No, MXTX works do not count) is getting an official English release! I liked the dynamic of perpetually tired workaholic royal treasurer and his hedonistic, golden retriever personified, lovestruck personal guard so much that I actually bough the Japanese novels. It helps that the art and character designs are top tier, and the humor is surprisingly fun as well. Hoping that an English release will bring with it a larger fandom, at the moment it’s quite obscure.

- Teen Wolf (TV) - Saw a few retrospectives on this old fandom of mine and decided to do a rewatch with my sister on the grounds that if it’s not good, it will at least be entertaining. We’ve made pretty good progress so far, starting the 3rd season, which supposedly is the unironically good one. The first two have been fun in a corny way, but boy is my watching experience now that I’m an adult far different from it was when I originally watched it in high school. Like, wow Derek sure does spend a lot of time intimidating and stalking random teenagers huh. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very funny to watch him just appear in caveman pose in the corner of some random dark room, I’m just surprised that I was ever able to take him seriously. Anyway, I’ve been keeping a counter of whether there are any episodes where the camera DOES’NT ogle a pointlessly shirtless man. So far out of 24+ episodes, there’s only been one, and that only counts as a technicality as there was a shirtless man in it, the camera just didn’t focus on him long enough to count. I have faith that we will eventually get a true entry, maybe.

- My Dress Up Darling (Anime) - I’d like to think I have pretty good taste in media (Bold move considering I just admitted to watching Teen Wolf, I know), though to be honest I’m mostly watching this because I want to see a cute anime girl show off a lot of cute fashion. The behind the scenes cosplayer life is one I’ve briefly dipped my toes in as well, so it’s interesting to see the thought process in how to most accurately make a 3D version of 2D costumes.

-Ace Attorney (Video Game) - Still making my way through these. To be honest after playing the aptly named Great Ace Attorney, I’m finding the characters in this first game to be a little underwhelming. I don’t hate Nick and Maya but they’re pretty bland compared to Ryuu and Susato, and the supporting cast tend to be more annoying than charming. That being said, I’m only one game in, and from what I’ve seen I’ll likely like Appollo, Athena, and Klavier more, so I’lll be waiting patiently for them to show up.

-The Magnus Archives (Podcast) - I think the fact that this is one of the top media in terms of constantly taking up space in my brain really says something about it’s quality. Namely that it is very good.

-Pokemon Legends Arceus (Video Games) - Welp this has consumed all of my free time. For once I’m actually trying to complete the whole pokedex too, since God won’t talk to me anymore until I do. Kudos to Pokemon for actually pulling off a post game twist this time around. I’m sure plenty of people called it but I don’t usually expect Pokemon plots to be err. Good. So I was surprisingly pleased.

-Inscryption (Video Game) - Don’t want to say to much about this one here (this time at least) but it’s certainly an experience. Just watched a playthrough atm, but I might try to play it myself later, the Part 1 card game strategy portion looks pretty fun. 

-Ranking of Kings (Anime) - Boji won BEST BOY at the anime awards this yeaar and it’s what he deserves. Anyway, the backstories in this show keep getting more and more intriguing, every time they answer a question, 3 more are brought to the table.

-Danganronpa (Video Game) - And We Are Back.

Listening to: A Good Song Never Dies by Saint Motel, Edge of Seventeen by Steviee Nicks, Shivers by Ed Sheeran, Ready to Die by Andrew WK, I Think I Just Died by Guiano, Odds Are by Barenaked Ladies, Evil Eye by Franz Ferdinand, Ship In A Bottle by fin, ASHES by Hiroyuki Sawano.

[tearasshouse]

Mostly vidya ramblings pt 3C

Previous post here.

Right, software time. A cursory glance at my PSN Profile will show that I’ve met my personal quota of getting the platinum in at least 10 PlayStation titles over the year, with a few PC titles sprinkled in for good measure since hey, I have access to a Windows machine again (though it’s not exactly a games machine, unless your definition of a “gaming rig” is something with a 15W Core i3 and modest laptop Radeon graphics). While I didn’t start out meaning to rank these games, I find I have a tendency to do so anyway and while I’m certainly not saying these games are outright bad, they were absolutely lower on the rung, so I’ve dubbed this part “C” (again, no disrespect to the devs or any who rate these games higher than I do; these are just my personal assessments). These are OK games.

The Darkness 2 (Steam)

Enjoyable, somewhat! I put this down like, ages ago when I picked it up for a song on PC, feeling it was too basic and uh “console shootery” at the time. Often times, having restrictions placed upon something can net great results, and hamstrung as I am by my less-capable hardware, I’ve only been picking up Steam games that could run on lower end hardware, or anything released prior to say, 2015. Surprisingly this runs at something stupid like 200 FPS on my machine with V-Sync off and all settings on High at 1080p, so go figure. Anyway, it’s a short and enjoyable shooter. I don’t know anything about the comics upon which the game(s) are based, but Jackie is a likeable character, the Darkness powers are fun enough, the locations are varied, the supporting cast surprisingly interesting and the plot was actually pretty cool too, with a major sequel hook that we’ll probably never get. 

Ori & The Blind Forest (Steam)

It sorta hovers a bit below 60fps while running at 1080p, but it’s all just a bit reductive when one spends more time looking at the framerate counter than playing a game, no? The blessing and curse of PC gaming I suppose. Anyway, as a Metroidvania the game is a bit annoying. As a piece of interactive fiction, it’s too saccharine and feels like a B-tier Dreamworks production for children which, I suppose shouldn’t be a knock against the game but I have to say --  wasn’t my cup of tea. Reminds me a bit of Child of Light by Ubisoft -- gorgeous to look at, benign if not frustrating to play (those escape sequences can piss off), and young gamers would probably find more to like in the...emotional tidbits than most adults.

Crysis 2 (Steam)

So apparently this got delisted off Steam but now it’s back up or something with EA deciding to put their back catalog on the platform or something? Anyway, like this list implies, Crysis 2 is an okay game, nothing more and nothing less. The nanosuit energy depletes a bit too quick for my liking, and you’re really made to feel like a badass only some of the times, in quick and short bursts, not unlike BJ in the new Wolfenstein games by MachineGames (any more prolonged exposure to hitscan weapons and other bullshit will quickly send you to the loading screen). Thing is, I don’t want to feel like a badass only some of the time? I mean, you put a ripped supersoldier type doing the Badass Looking Back At the Viewer Pose on the cover and I expect to be able to do certain things without stopping for a breather every 20 seconds, ya know? If you’re going to give me the power fantasy, commit to it. Or, find ways to keep the flow up and reward mastery to make players earn said fantasy (something the new DOOMs  have done and why those have been so successful). I certainly don’t envy game devs for having to balance this shit, but id Software showed you one way of how you might do that while the Crysis games and those of their ilk just feel slow and unrewarding. 

Quantum Break (Steam)

Really surprised I was able to get this running on my PC but hey, it runs on the Xbox One so how hard could it be? I dearly love Remedy’s games, even if they’re a bit straightforward at times and you get the feeling they’d rather be in the business of non-interactive fiction than games making at times. Well here is a TV show hybrid! Made exclusively in partnership with Microsoft as part of their TV & STREAMING, TV & STREAMING, SPORTS & STREAMING strategy of the 2010s. I didn’t care for the plot, nor the endless email / audiobook / loredumps scattered around, nor the characters, any of it. I will say the final stage with the super high tech offices was a delight (boy wouldn’t I love to live the corpo life in such beautiful, clean office environs). Lance Reddick was a treat as always. Peter “Littlefinger” Baelish shows up to do a thing. Yeah, it’s a Remedy joint through and through. 2019′s Control was such a highlight for me that I’ll take any kind of prototype-y take on it (and QB certainly feels like a rougher, worse version of Control, at least mechanically).

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs / Dear Esther: Landmark Edition (Steam)

These titles were certainly...things that I installed onto my PC and sat through... Yes. Look, I’m not one to dog on walking simulators, and I know the devs have faced tough times recently but I still feel these are acquired tastes and could be appreciably improved in too many ways to name. Of the two, Dear Esther is the one I’d rec because at least that one was quite pleasant to meander around in while Amnesia left me disappointed that I’d wasted my time, physically sick with its subpar performance and muddy graphics, flaccid with its stodgy plot and left absolutely disappointed that I’d wasted my time on such a bizarre and confusing payoff towards the end. Chinese Room, I mean this in the most constructive way possible: maybe try a different type of game next time.

Return to Castle Wolfenstein (GOG)

I remember putting in some decent time into the DEMO version of RtCW’s MP mode, being amazed at the time by the particle effects, with child-me just running around the D-Day map with the flamethrower out. Anyway, years later and I finally played the SP campaign. It’s maybe better than Allied Assault’s? It feels more consistently entertaining anyway. Hell I think I like these boomer shooters better than MachineGames’ recent efforts (which isn’t saying a whole lot because I find those games just merely okay). I promise you I’m not just being a crotchety old fart.

Ys: Memories of Celceta (PS Vita)

I’d been playing through this over the spring on my Vita TV, before it bit the dust eventually and I’ve been meaning to go back and wrap up the cheevos. I was a bit lukewarm with Oath in Felghana (my first Ys), but could definitely see the appeal in the series, as boss rush games aren’t really my cup of tea (ie. it’s the journey and not the destination of say, a Souls game that is the meat for me). Definitely a game that would benefit from a 60fps refresh and cleaner graphics than what the Vita can provide. I’ve already got a copy of Ys 8 in shrink wrap and have my eyes set on emulating Ys Seven or grabbing the GOG version. A game where action is king and story or character development is secondary; I would prefer more of the latter to make this more of a JRPG and less of a “predominantly Japanese action game with superficial RPG elements”.

Catherine: Full Body (PS4)

I paid $70 for this on day one and I’ve gotta say... should’ve waited for the price drop. I’m a somewhat lapsed Atlus mark, and I still hold the original Persona 5 as my no. 1 in the PS4′s lineup (with Dragon Quest XI possibly being a tie), yet I bought this knowing it wouldn’t really be for me. Why? High difficulty in a genre I don’t play, like at all, a relatively short clear time (in itself not an issue and frankly welcome these days HOWEVER...), and a somewhat unsatisfying payoff despite being a supernatural romance thriller. I bought this as seed money for Atlus’s P.Studio/Studio Zero, in the hopes that Project Re: Fantasy will knock my socks off just like the latter day Persona games have. Because in spite of the contents not really appealing to me, it’s still supremely well made, and it’s not everyday that games like these get made, so there you go. Look, if I could go back in time and put this money towards 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim, I probably would, but then the Catherine steelbook is ever so pretty... 

Tearaway Unfolded (PS4)

The OG game is one of the most charming little 3D platformer/collect-a-thons out there, and as far as children’s games (or er, “games that also appeal to children”) go, more of these and less of those please (your Child of Lights and Oris). I’d go as far as to say the OG version is better than the PS4 version, though the PS4 version is also quite good. Really, if I wasn’t going for that stupid Misplaced Gopher trophy, this would probably be an easy shoe-in for the B-tier list, but I place this demotion firmly at Media.Molecule’s feet. That cheevo is cursed.

The Missing: JJ Macfield and the Island of Memories (PS4)

I’d almost forgotten about this! If that doesn’t qualify for making the C-tier list then I don’t know what else does. I only know of Swery65′s qualities through osmosis, having watched the 2BF’s legendary LP of Deadly Premonition and the gone-too-soon D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die. He’s an interesting person with interesting ideas but crucially, as a game dev, his output is just... kinda mediocre? If not outright bad? Case in point with this game. It looks and runs like garbo; it plays like garbo; the character designs are cute; the dialogue is pretty good; there is a wonderful and gradual “twist” to the main character that was super spoiled for me when people were discussing and promoting it (like, that is my bad, but also internet discourse on any kind of entertainment media is just *fucked*); there’s a lot of semi-colons in this sentence so I’ll stop here. 

And the balls to charge like, what, $40+ for the game on PSN?? I’d gotten it for way less on a sale but in a day and age when $1 could buy you 3 months of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate and MS might also throw in a curio like this in there just to fill in the gaps, it makes you wonder if these kinds of games can ever turn a profit, especially when the end product is this jank. And these are commercial goods, make no mistake, any aspirations to being an art piece or social critique notwithstanding, so that also brings to the fore the whole aspect of pricing games, relative value, production and marketing costs, blah blah.

IF you like something different, can appreciate games made on a shoestring budget with arguably bad gameplay and technical deficiencies, but has...heart? Then look no further to the output of this man. The most C-worthy of all the titles listed here. 

[samdukewieland]

Stuck Inside Media Diary Week 5

I realized the last movie I saw in theaters was Little Women for the third time. Then that got me thinking about how I ranked my Top whatever movies from last year and inconsequential ranking things is. It was probably the movie that makes me feel the best; it and Knives Out were the two movies I saw the most in a theater last year and they were both the ones that I get excited talking about with people. Good flicks, you should check ‘em out. (I also re-learned recently that Emma Stone was originally supposed to play Meg who was played by Emma Watson. Had this happened, my brain would’ve collapsed due to trying to figure out how to balance crushes on Greta Gerwig, Saoirse Ronan, Florence Pugh, Laura Dern and Emma Stone all in the same thing).

Sunday, April 19

Deliverance, Boorman 1972

On the one hand there is no real way to prepare you for how awful the assault on Ned Beatty and John Voight scene is as well as having me wonder if this was actually a Vietnam movie masked in something about the destruction of the natural world (maybe it’s both or just one). On the other hand, I thought it’d be funny to compare the characters to this to the characters in American Pie, but there’s no Stiffler or Jim’s Dad in this movie, so it doesn’t completely work.

Mad Men, “Long Weekend”, “Indian Summer”, “Nixon Vs. Kennedy”, “The Wheel” [season 1 finale]

There’s two things I’ll never forget the first time I ran through the first season of Mad Men: 1. Thinking “is Don even good at his job? I don’t think we’ve even seen this guy even really do his job yet, how did he become partner?” and then “The Wheel happens”. 2. I had let one of my favorite History teachers borrow my DVDs (this would happen again in my life when I later lent my English teacher The Wire when I was a senior two years later) and when he finished the first season he and I talked about what dumb-dumb idiots we were because we hadn’t figured out that Peggy was definitely pregnant and were surprised by this revelation, while his girlfriend at the time figured it out instantly.

Parks And Rec, “Greg Pikitis”, “Ron And Tammy”

That these two episodes were on back-to-back was probably the moment in the public consciousness that Parks was the real deal. How could you not; I watch “Greg Pikitis” every Halloween.

The Last Dance, Parts 1 & 2

I can’t remember the last thing I watched in real time on the tv. It’s very possible, though I don’t think so, that The Last Dance might be quarantine great and in real life very, very good. It doesn’t really matter, because this thing is just crazy fun to watch, as a person who was not able to watch Jordan basketball and sometimes thinks that Gen Xers gets way too [whatever that Spongebob meme is where you capitalize every other letter in a sentence] about Michael Jordan. The music cues are God-tier.

Joe Pera Talks With You, “Joe Pera Shows You Iron”, “Joe Pera Takes You To Breakfast”, “Joe Pera Takes You On A Fall Drive”

“Joe Pera Takes You To Breakfast” might be one of the funniest episodes of television I’ve seen in a long time. As someone who takes too much enjoyment in stream of consciousness humor, I might be too in the bag for this show. I certainly don’t know how to sell it to any of you, other than it might be the perfect counterpart to Review. That could just be that Joe Pera looks like an alt-universe Andy Daly or it could be that Forrest MacNeil could’ve, desperately, used a friend like Joe Pera if only just to see how they’d interact with each other.

Monday, April 20

Under The Silver Lake, Mitchell 2018 [as of now this is available on Prime]

I’m embarrassed that I caved into watching a stoner movie on 4/20, but I’m glad it was this. This weird, gross and beautifully shot weird little movie that really did some good work in reminding me that Andrew Garfield is good. People will argue that this broke his brain, when in reality it was those two embarrassing Spider-Man movies.

Joe Pera Talks With You, “Joe Pera Shows You How To Dance”, “Joe Pera Talks You Back To Sleep”, “Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements”

So “Church Announcements” was the first episode of this show that I had ever seen, because I had three different friends recommend it to me because I had posted something about “Baba O’Riley” very off-handedly, not even knowing this episode existed. It’s probably the purest expression of joy and one of the most sincerely happy things I might have ever seen. I love this show so much.

Tuesday, April 21

The Birdcage, Nichols 1996 [as of now this is available on Prime]

This is a good reminder that Nathan Lane is insanely talented and easily one of the most undervalued performers alive. I wanted to watch a Gene Hackman movie and this was available and it’s pretty good. Sometimes plays shouldn’t be turned into movies, that’s my take here-what do you want from me.

Better Call Saul, “Something Unforgivable”

Safe to say Saul’s got the belt. I was listening to Greenwald and Ryan the other night and someone had throughout a hypothetical to them that if they could would they want Gilligan and the gang to to remake Breaking Bad now, and have that (essentially) be the spin-off from Saul instead of vice-versa. That then got me thinking about if there’s ever been a property that’s taken place within the same universe that waited almost a season and a half to introduce the character (or thing) that connected the two things? There’s probably some kind of sci-fi or fantasy story that nerds would be eager to inform me of and it’s called 2une or something like that. Cool if so! If not, then no one steal my idea, this could be huge.

Joe Pera Talks With You, “Joe Pera Lights Up The Night with You”, “Joe Pera Talks to You About the Rat Wars of Alberta, Canada (1950–Present Day)”, “Joe Pera Answers Your Questions About Cold Weather” [Season 1 finale]

“Can you believe those jag-offs through a New Year’s Eve party with just one bottle of Disarooney” is something I just say out loud when I’m frustrated now. I stayed up until like 3AM last Tuesday wrapping up the first season.

Wednesday, April 22

The Stranger, Welles 1946 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

First Orson Welles movie. It was fine! I don’t really think it should’ve been an hour-and-a-half long, but I was also surprised that they were already making movies about Nazis escaping to the US in 1946, but I’m definitely not a historian and I’m sure a lot of things would surprise me about 1946. It’s also a public domain movie which is just kinda....weird and would probably piss off Orson Welles or maybe he’d be thrilled.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Hughes 1986 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

Maybe the best use of a Beatles song in a movie that doesn’t star The Beatles? I used to go back and forth on whether or not I like this movie, because so many people do like it and I used to be loathe to conform to non-controversial opinions. But something I think that gets really overlooked is how well this movie is shot-Hughes had a real eye for framing and blocking. Or maybe people talk about this all the time and I just haven’t cared to ever listen or seek it out.

The Plot Against America, “Part 2″

Mad Men,  [Season 2 premier] “For Those Who Think Young”, “Flight 1″

I had forgotten how GD disorienting this show can be when it goes out of its way to not tell you how much time has passed between each season (it’s like 15 months this time). That’s all I’ve got now, that and Duck Phillips: welcome back into my life, you sick son of a bitch.

Joe Pera Talks With You, [Season 2 premier] “Joe Pera Talks With You About Beans”, “Joe Pera Takes You On A Hike”

Thursday, April 23

Harold And Maude, Ashby 1971 [as of now this is available on Prime]

Another entry in the “I didn’t realize how many movies try to be this one” book. Really funny, and so shockingly dark, I can’t imagine how much people hated this when it first came out and how hard of a sell it would be to try and talk someone into seeing it. Probably what I liked most about it was how earned the sense of finding joy in life is in this movie, considering how cynical it is in depicting the fetishization guys tend to do with the notion of suicide. It’s quirky without being twee (if you want that, I guess go to Rushmore, a movie I adore, but definitely borrows heavily from this, something Anderson wouldn’t ever deny).

Mad Men, “The Benefactor”, “Three Sundays”

Harry Crane’s campaign to be the least liked person in Mad Men, you could argue, starts more-so here than it did in the finale of S1 when he cheats on his wife.

The Plot Against America, “Part 3″

I don’t think anything, Television-wise, has benefited less from the pandemic than TPAA. Of course it would happen to a David Simon show and maybe it’s a good thing, considering how the number of bad takes would greatly outweigh the number of good takes that would come about if there was some more attention on it. 

Joe Pera Talks With You, “Joe Pera Waits With You”, “Joe Pera Guides You Through The Dark”

I can’t remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did when they started demonstrating the different hair styles you can get when getting your hair cut. These episodes have somehow gotten goofier than the first season and it’s, uh, really good.

Friday, April 24

Parks And Recreation, “The Camel”

Top Chef, Season 17 episode 6

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, “Lights Out”

Dan Goor & Luke Del Tredici is to Brooklyn Nine-Nine as Michael Schur & Aisha Muharrar was to Parks And Recreation.

The Beastie Boys Story, Jonze 2020 [available on AppleTV+]

As with any kind of retrospective, there’s a fair amount of yadda-yadda-ing and maybe not everything totally works with this live-documentary, but it’s so deeply Beastie Boys that I can’t help but just be so grateful that it exists. While it’s like a vaudeville symposium it is absolutely doubles as a love letter to a departed friend and immense talent. The worst thing that could happen is that it’ll just make you want to re-listen to the gods.

Mad Men, “The New Girl”, “Maidenform”

I just can’t believe that Chauncey exits the series the same episode that he enters.This was and still remains the turning point of Duck Phillips: terrible human (and kind of when he turns a little cartoonish).

Saturday, April 25

Parks And Recreation, “Hunting Trip”

Mad Men, “The Gold Violin”, “A Night To Remember”, “Six Month Leave”, “The Inheritance”, “The Jet Set”

Quite a run of episodes here for ole Mad Men here. Always love when they remind us that everyone really underestimates Ken Cosgrove (even himself). And as I was watching “Six Month Leave” it kind of hit me that this is an outlier episode of Mad Men. It’s so much of a whole that I find it hard to put one episode above another, but if I needed just an episode of Mad Men to watch at random like a year or so from now, this is one that would really stick out to me. A great farewell to a great Murray brother.

Bad Education, Finley 2019 [available on HBO Now/Go]

It sucks that HBO makes more bad movies than it does good, but when they’re good, man they’re really good. It hits some HBO movie bingo squares which are kind of eye-rolley to me, but all-in-all, this is a really outstanding little movie. It feels weird that it’s taken this long for Ray Romano to start carving out a character actor niche for himself, but I’m just happy we’re finally here! I saw someone compare it to or with Wolf Of Wall Street and as someone not from Long Island I feel confident in saying that they’re a helluva Long Island scum-bag (repetitive?) double feature.

The Plot Against America, “Part 4″

Was really hoping this was going to be the thing that made people remember that Winona is incredible and not Stranger Things, but that’d require like a dozen monkey’s paw wishes that I just don’t have. (What a world it’d be if The Plot Against America adaptation somehow eclipsed Stranger Things in terms of cultural significance) However badly I wanted that though, this has really been Zoe Kazan’s show-a quieter role than Anthony Boyle (who I am also just floored by) but more effective in how much internal processing she’s doing with this character.

Joe Pera Talks With You, “Joe Pera Takes You To The Grocery Store”, “Joe Pera Goes To Dave Wojcek’s Bachelor Party With You”

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 5th May 2019 (Stormzy, Taylor Swift, bird sounds lol)

This week is really busy and crazy, so I’m going to try and keep it brief – although I have a lot to say.

Top 10

The biggest – or the first immediately notable – story is the new number-one, as “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy, reaching a peak of 12.6 million streams in its first week, the most ever for a British rapper. Its battle with our number-three spot was heavily publicised and Stormzy (And Lil Nas X) understandably won, mostly because of timing, however I don’t think Taylor Swift could have gotten the number-one spot anyway. At least pop music has gotten exciting, I guess – doesn’t mean the UK charts are any good right now, but it’s a significant improvement. This song is massive as is its video, and Stormzy’s first-ever #1 on the chart as a credited artist, and fourteenth top 40 overall (It’s his sixth top 10 hit overall). I pray to God this crosses over to the US, because, yes, I think it can.

To my surprise, Lil Nas X is still at number-two with “Old Town Road”, down a spot from last week, featuring Billy Ray Cyrus. I thought it’d be left demolished by Swift and Stormzy, but here we are, I suppose. Speaking of...

At number-three, we have another debut, Taylor Swift’s 25th (!) Top 40 hit and her 13th Top 10 hit, and Brendon Urie’s sixth Top 40 hit and first ever Top 10 hit, “ME!” credited to Taylor Swift featuring Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco, or as the YouTube video claimed, “(feat. Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco) ft. Brendon Urie”. I’ll talk more about this and “Vossi Bop” later, but it’s safe to say that this was even huger than Stormzy’s track, at least worldwide, yet was beaten in pure sales and streaming. I guess that’s what we get for not counting radio on the UK charts.

Now it gets less interesting. “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is down one spot to number-four, thankfully.

“Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys is naturally down three spots to number-five thanks to the sheer power of the top three.

Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is down two spaces to number-six.

The late Avicii’s posthumous release “SOS”, featuring Aloe Blacc, is down one position to number-seven.

Tom Walker’s “Just You and I” is holding on, down three to number-eight.

Russ (Splash) and Tion Wayne’s “Keisha & Becky” is still safe off of the remix’s longevity, down a spot to number-nine.

Finally, rounding off the top 10 at #10, is “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy, up a singular spot from last week.

Climbers

Okay, first of all, “All Day and Night” by Jax Jones and Martin Solveig as EUROPA featuring Madison Beer is only up two spaces so it’s not notable enough, but may I add that the official single image was used for weeks until they decided to use the thumbnail for a version uploaded via TunesToTube.com and I’m not joking, the watermark is still present and visible in the image used – how does this slip through the cracks? Anyways, “No Diet” by Digga D is up seven to #20, becoming his first ever UK Top 20 hit, “Carry On” by Kygo and Rita Ora from Detective Pikachu is up nine spaces to #30, and that’s all.

Fallers

Fallers are a different story though, there’s quite a lot to talk about here. First of all, the streaming for Jonas Brothers’ “Sucker” may or may not have been cut as it’s down six spaces to #13, whilst four consecutive early 2019 hits continue their gradual fades out of relevance, with “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man down eight to #24 but “Don’t Feel Like Crying” by Sigrid, “i’m so tired...” by LAUV and Troye Sivan as well as “Don’t Call Me Up” by Mabel all down six positions to fill up the #25-#27 slots. I’m also unsure to why there are premature drops for George Ezra’s “Pretty Shining People” down 12 to #37 and “Let Me Down Slowly” by Alec Benjamin featuring Alessia Cara down seven to #38, although our final drop here from Post Malone with “Wow.” down six to #40 is fully expected.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Some earlier 2019 hits are making room for the Summer it seems, perhaps due to streaming cuts as “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish is out from #15 and “Dancing with a Stranger” by Sam Smith and Normani is out from #36. Some songs that never went anywhere like “Who Do You Love” by The Chainsmokers featuring 5 Seconds of Summer and “MONOPOLY” by Ariana Grande and Victoria Monet are also out, from #38 and #40 respectively, but the biggest story is George Ezra’s “Shotgun”, which has spent nearly all of its 58 non-consecutive weeks on the Top 75 chart in the Top 40, and is finally out from #30 – although it’s still outside of the top 40. Other than that, there are no drop-outs or returning entries to speak of, so let’s get to reviewing the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#36 – “Sixteen” – Ellie Goulding

Produced by Mike Wise and FRED – Peaked at #19 in Scotland

Okay, so, I’ve never had to talk about Ellie Goulding all too much, and to be perfectly honest, she’s continued to sour on me the more she puts out and the less unique her material gets. Sure, her songwriting chops have always been there and hopefully always will, but she isn’t as interesting as I wish she was, especially instrumentally as while her producers carved her own lane back when she was making stuff like “Lights”, she seems just to be chasing trends in recent years. Regardless of my opinion of Ellie Goulding, she’s made some good stuff and this is her twenty-second UK Top 40 hit, so let’s see how it fares... well, this sure would be mediocre in 2016. In 2019, it sure exists. Remember tropical house? Yeah, you love that, right? Well, let’s mix it with the boring and dull vaguely-pop music of 2019, and make what isn’t a disaster at all, somehow. It starts abruptly with a looped and manipulated vocal sample that goes nowhere, before cutting to an immediately pretty interesting guitar-lead verse, which then kicks into gear for a really bouncy, fun pre-chorus. Then the chorus comes in where Goulding strains her voice talking about being 16 and wearing her significant other’s T-shirt, and all of the momentum is killed when it drops into that manipulated vocal sample. Do I appreciate the tongue-in-cheek MSN reference? Of course, I do, and the lyrics are actually very unique and I’d argue pretty great, and really invokes that youthful sense of exploration and feeling like you can do it all, you’re on top of the world... but I’m not sure if it holds up sonically, especially with that freaking drop, it really isn’t pleasant and feels like a remnant of recent past. Overall, it’s okay and I don’t really care about it enough but I understand the appeal, as with Goulding’s work overall.

#34 – “Don’t Worry Bout Me” – Zara Larsson, not featuring Alessia Cara

Produced by The Struts – Peaked at #7 in Sweden

I say NOT featuring Alessia Cara, mostly because BBC seems to think it does. Sigh, there’s an insane amount of mistakes on this week’s entry. Anyway, this is Zara Larsson’s new single and like all of her singles it has a massive singles push, and by that I mean an incredible amount of pretty pointless remixes, whilst the original is just a cloudy pop single that doesn’t stand out at all from the rest. This particular single, co-written with goddess Tove Lo, is her ninth UK Top 40 single and only slightly more recognisable, mostly because it takes an 80s/early 2010s fusion of dance-pop that was pretty interesting but the build-up feels a bit drawn-out, with the lack of percussion making the way-too-obvious autotune stick out like a sore thumb, but once the strings and 808s hit, it’s not much but it does add a lot of drama and that cinematic feel is immediately killed by the drop, but the chorus is a catchy kiss-off, and the fast-paced percussion and house music-influenced bass does add a lot of bounce to the hook, and it is pretty fun. There’s a really nasal, eerie synth sound in the bridge that was irritating at first but did grow on me, but then it disappears for the entirety of the last chorus and outro, which doesn’t add any sense of climax or finality at all. The rest of the song doesn’t exist. Next.

#18 – “Let Nature Sing” – The RSPB

Produced by literal birds

So, this is the confusing one I think I might have to explain a bit. “Let Nature Sing” is a campaign more than it is a hit single, as The RSPB isn’t a band, rather it’s one of the largest wildlife charities in Europe, specifically the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds. Now this isn’t a pandering charity single with a bunch of celebrities singing vague lyrics about we love the Earth, it is our planet, we love the Earth, it is our home, no, it’s literal birdsong – for two minutes and thirty-two seconds. Now, initially, I had no idea how to rank this in the top 20 so I invented a new “???” tier just for this single and any other bizarre picks that ended up in the top half of the charts... but I think I love this. There are 165 critically endangered species within Britain’s environment, as RSPB claims in their promotional website for the single, and that is 56% of the wildlife in decline. So they’re raising money a la Band Aid and/or Lil Dicky, for preservation of British wildlife, and trying to spread the word about this single, which eventually did get enough downloads and sales, as well as 58,000 streams to chart. Now, I hope this money is used well and that the birds who are sampled in this song are paid songwriting royalties because this is great. This is beautiful. Now it’s not like this has any specific structure, and I haven’t researched to see what species of birds are singing here, but this is pure serenity and almost works as ASMR wave sounds to fall asleep to. Sure, there are a bunch of reverb effects that make the woodpecker sound jarring, and some non-bird sounds that kind of sound like an artificial bass being added, as well as a synth but that may just be my complete lack of knowledge about birds in general. It’s all chopped up and it definitely is not pure recorded birdsong, which I’d be inclined to check out, but for what it is, the sounds here are quirky, fun and sound natural, and since it’s helping a cause, I’d say stream it. It’s not unpleasant and isn’t a 7-minute joke about small penises featuring Lil Yachty as a sexually-transmitted illness, so I’d argue it’s a better alternative to actual charity SONGS... so, yeah, stream this, it’s short, it’s calming, but I doubt this will stay longer than two weeks if that.

#3 – “ME!” – Taylor Swift featuring Panic! at the Disco

Produced by Joel Little and Taylor Swift – Peaked at #1 in Hungary, Nicaragua and Scotland

There’s a lot to hate about this new lead bubblegum pop single from Taylor Swift’s upcoming seventh studio album, featuring vocals from Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco fame. There really is a lot to hate, from the factory-settings production that feels like such an abrupt shift from the mechanical albeit jagged electronic production from the last album, Taylor’s aggravating inflections from her verse AND the pre-chorus, the nonsensical chorus which rips hard from “Sit Next to Me” by Emeli Sande, the marching band percussion that reminds me all too much of “Shake it Off” as well as Urie’s work on Panic!’s most recent album especially with the rattling hi-hats covered up by a blast of overproduced trumpets, and the cringeworthy bridge, where two grown adults in their early 30s starting their middle-eight with, “Hey, kids, spelling is fun!” – seriously, this was written only by the producers and the artists, how is it this unfitting and odd for Taylor to be singing? Surely, Taylor should be able to come naturally with great songwriting like she has before, even on reputation, and this shouldn’t be as awfully-written as it is. The “Spelling is fun” tangent doesn’t even fit the time signature, for God’s sake. Oh, and this trainwreck of a line:

Girl, there ain’t no “I” in “Team” / But you know, there is a “Me”

No, there isn’t. There isn’t a “Me” in “Team” unless you rearrange it, and in that case, it’d be misspelled, hence your bridge’s message, which is, as I recall, spelling is fun, is undercut by the fact you can’t spell. What does that even mean in this case, since it would otherwise be a cheesy lyric about how they’re a team or whatever, because it’s been rearranged and manipulated? Is there no “Me” in “Team” anymore? Are Taylor and Brendon breaking up in the middle of their spelling bee? Are they saying their relationship is as complicated and infuriating as this one lyric? Let’s see Taylor’s reasoning here:

“We wanted it to be playful, we didn’t want it to take itself seriously at all.” That, by the way, is why I love this song to death and despite everything I can nag about it, it’s actually really fun and one of Taylor’s best songs to date. It screams colour even without the expensive music video, and every little annoying misstep counts towards the hilarity of the song and how carefree it is, from Taylor’s “UHH” ad-libs to them both belting distant lyrics about how there’s a lot of lame guys out theeeeeere, it all comes together and makes a really cool song that doesn’t care about your judgement. Yes, I had a lot to say about that one, but I’ve been building it up for nearly two weeks now. You can’t spell awesome without “ME!”, I guess.

#1 – “Vossi Bop” – Stormzy

Produced by Chris Andoh

Speaking of awesome people, welcome back, Stormzy, one of my favourite British rappers and one of the most unique, with Gang Signs & Prayer holding up as one of my favourite hip-hop albums ever. Merky Academy’s founder has decided to strip it down a bit for this minimalistic return to form after a gospel-tinged and R&B-influenced debut studio album. This is “Vossi Bop”, and it bangs. We have that lo-fi yet menacing synth line looping in the back of the mix before the thumping bass kicks in with a catchy and eerie piano melody which really adds a lot of grit to Stormzy’s bars, mostly just about living life of luxury and celebrating his rags to riches story. While the 808s are admittedly mixed a tad oddly, as is the trap percussion, the rattling hi-hats give an otherwise pretty slow-paced rap flow some bounce and quick-paced energy. The multi-tracked hook is catchy and anthemic, although Stormzy’s refusal to dab is a bit more EB the Original Master than I would prefer, and I personally like the Mondegreen, “my brothers don’t die, we just Vossi bop” better, but the verses are pretty great. In this context, Vossi bopping means a laidback dance popularised by a guy named Vossi that went viral a few years ago – in fact, this song was made ages before its release. In the bluntly-delivered verses with some smooth flow switches, Stormzy discusses how he looks at his girl and thanks God. How wholesome. Also F Boris Johnson and he’s Chuck Norris? It’s not exactly the most poetic Stormzy’s been, but he does have multisyllabic rhyme schemes and his lyrics are at least coherent, which isn’t really what I can say for most UK rap that debuts on the charts nowadays. He also refers to jet lag as “f***ing up my body clock”, and we have a censored word that we don’t know yet, and have yet to have had any explanation for? We’ll see, I guess. Anyways, this is an absolute banger and I’m ecstatic Stormzy has a #1.

Conclusion

This was actually a cool week in retrospect. Best of the Week is going to The RSPB for “Let Nature Sing” because it’s two and a half minutes of birdsong in the top 20 and that’s impressive enough. The Honourable Mention is tied, going to both Stormzy for “Vossi Bop” and Taylor Swift with Brendon Urie for “ME!”, whilst Worst of the Week goes that Zara Larsson song. Blech. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and Top 20 rankings, and I’ll see you next week!

I could never die, I’m Chuck Norris (Chuck Norris) / F*** the government and f*** Boris (Yeah)

[elegiacescapist]

A List of Archons

Since I’m sickly and bored today, here’s my working list of Archons for quick reference; includes titles, a short overview, and an indication (†) if they are confirmed to be deceased. Kyros and the major Archons in the game get a short description because there’s not enough room on this list to do them justice. Again, like the post on locations, please let me know if they are any corrections or additions to be made as this isn’t 100% complete or accurate, and it’s been a while since I made some of these notes. (I am also sick, so there may be typos and mistakes that I didn’t catch).

WARNING: TEXT DUMP & SPOILERS FOR TYRANNY

Kyros, Overlord & Archon of Edicts:  Believed to be the most powerful Archon ever known.

Tunon the Adjudicator, Archon of Justice: Master and creator of the Order of Fatebinders, and one of the few archons bestowed with the powers of adjudication. He is one of Kyros’ eldest vassals. Was known as Tunon the Fair prior to his ascension to the ranks of the Archons.

Archons of War

Graven Ashe: General of the Disfavoured legion, former general of the Northern Kingdom. Father of Ashelryn (†), Priam (†), Brennix (†), and Amelia.

Blood Echo/Ruin (†): Slain by Graven Ashe during the Northern Conquest. According to the Voices of Nerat he wore his best disciples’ knuckle-bones as jewellery and fashioned a breastplate out of his brother’s rib-cage. Killed Ashe’s daughter Ashelryn.

The Voices of Nerat, Archon of Secrets: Kyros’ Spymaster and Interrogator, as well as the General of the Scarlet Chorus and patron of the Blood Chanters guild.

Archons of Shadow

Bleden Mark: Kyros’ assassin and executioner, attached to Tunon’s Court as a headsman. He sometimes teaches the more promising of Tunon’s pupils. His name or sigil (the flavour text is vague) has been used to augment the Nightwalker’s Boots.

Unknown, Beastwoman Archon (†): Her sigil/rune can be found on the Nightwalker’s Boots. A peerless stalker and trapper, she eschewed civilisation and lived for centuries as a nomadic figure. Some still believe she lurks in the wilderness, but it is heavily implied she was the Archon whom Bleden Mark killed at the Ashweald.

Unknown (†): The Everwell is thought to be his decapitated head- the ink his arcane talent and substance forever bleeding out. Might be the Archon that Bleden Mark had to challenge for his title. (I will write more on this theory later.)  Dark story bro. This is a busted theory now because of the confirmation of Bleden Mark killing the Archon of Blood around his [Mark’s] ascension.

Cairn, Archon of Stone (†): Originally known as the “Wild Man of the Hills” before bowing to Kyros in 402 TR after being subdued by Graven Ashe. Patron of the Earthshakers guild and subordinate to Graven Ashe. His original name was likely Stelio, a name Sirin used in her letters to him. (Epistolary of Song and Stone, short story)

SIrin, Archon of Song: One of the youngest Archons recorded. Sworn to the service of the Voices of Nerat, his Bloodchanters developed the Sigil of Emotions through their study of Sirin’s abilities. Occasionally referred to as “Songbird”.

Pox, Archon of Ruin: General of the Plaguebearers, who spread disease during the Northern Conquest, one of her victims being Priam, a son of Graven Ashe. A variation of her sigil of Atrophy was discovered by a cult of mages in the east to have its own powers, perhaps indicating the existence of a previous Archon of Ruin.

Icarix, Archon of Time (†): His powers allowed him to rewind time while keeping his memories of the future. Slain by Bleden Mark for using his powers on Kyros, he’s also a known womaniser, and is implied to have attempted to put the, ahem, moves on Kyros (and Bleden Mark, disguised as a woman during Icarix’s assassination). (Shush, short story)

Occulted Jade, Archon of Tides: Leader and patron of the School of Tides, arrived in the Tiers with the first human settlers over 400 years ago. Is referred to as an Archon despite not being under Kyros’ rule. Fled with the majority of the School of Tides across the ocean shortly before the Conquest. 

Moramus of the Mire, Archon of Fungus: A stooped hermit who lived in the Nettlebog and produced most of it’s flora. Apparently he resembled a dapperling mushroom (He’s a funguy!). Hasn’t been seen for 300 years, but some believe he’s still alive in his land. 

The Orphan Midwife, Archon of Rebirth: Born in 160 TR, bowed to Kyros in 201 TR. Her powers caused various arcane effects around her, such as plants sprouting and the sick becoming vigorous where she walked… But they also sent most folks into fits of rage and animals into heat. Imprisoned for transgressions against Kyros, including the illegal immigration of one of her disciples into the Tiers in 222 TR. The Sigil of Life is her personal sigil.

Nox Mirea, Archon of Pestilence (†): A rather disliked Archon, when she opened her eyes or mouth, flies would gust out into the air. Died in her twentieth year after suffering a string of unusual and grotesque symptoms. It’s possible that the mass dislike towards her made everyone believe she’d die from her powers, and that belief became reality.

Thunder Mane, Archon, Unknown Aspect (†): A Beastwoman Mystic who became an Archon. Killed five other Archons before she was slain.

Fading Wrath, Archon of Concealment: Associated with illusion magic. Status Unknown.

Archons of Fire (fiery personalities here)

Thousand Embers (†): Had a strong motivation to assist others, and obsessively wrote on the “inner fire” of humanity (the drive to eat, reproduce, and destroy), and reflections on his own use of fire. Slain by Bleden Mark in 73 TR after continuously refusing to join and serve Kyros. The School of Wild Wrath was among three mage cabals that appeared after his death claiming to be the true inheritors of his powers.

Sun Queen (†): First user of the Sigil of Fire centuries ago. Was challenged by an Exarch of Fire in a legendary battle that created a swath of destruction known as the Scar.

Unknown, Exarch of Fire: Challenged the Sun Queen for her title, may have been Thousand Embers. Status Unknown.

Unknown (†): @kittymaverick found some seemingly cut dialogue for Rhogalus that indicated the existance of a third Archon of Fire (and a third style of fire magic). If their existance is still “canon”, they would likely be dead as Thousand Embers is the most recent Archon of Fire.

Archons of Frost

Ranna, Nirabel, & Slayr: Triplets that simultaneously held the title of the second recorded Archon of Frost and were never seen apart. When they were born they were thought to be stillborn because they were so cold to touch. Status Unknown.

Unknown (†): The first recorded Archon of Frost, not much has been recorded about him.

Archons of Lightning

Rin: “Accidentally” killed an Archon of Water during an electrifying diplomatic embrace. Might be the Archon of Storms under a different title.

Unknown (†): First recorded Archon of Lightning.

Archon of Blood (†): Kyros’ first assassin, and Bleden Mark’s predecessor. They were, quote, “destroyed” when Bleden Mark ascended to the status of Archon. The first incarnation of the dagger Heart’s Blood was their weapon of choice.

Archon of Enchantment (†): An ancient and long-forgotten Archon, runes associated with them decorate the Rune-etched Buckler (item).

Archon of Entropy: Fought for Kyros in the Northern Conquest, their powers were used to destroy the weapons and armour of the Northern armies. Status Unknown.

Archon of Humours: An accomplished magician in his day, known for his ability to destabilise the balance of liquids in others, such as causing internal hemorrhaging, mood adjustments, and bowel disruption. He also advanced medical practices (with trial and errors at times), pioneering Leeching and other methods of siphoning fluids, and finding medical uses for avoided herbs. Status Unknown.

Archon of Misery: Mentor of the Voices of Nerat, previous Spymaster and Interrogator. Might be the Archon of Sorrows under a different title. Status Unknown.

Archon of Sorrows: Fought for Kyros in the Northern Conquest, using their powers to sap the morale of the Northern armies. Might be the Archon of Misery under a different title. Status Unknown.

Archon of Snow: Their teachings enabled the Ice-Shod hunters to create weapons out of ice and snow before the practice was lost after the tribe was absorbed by the Empire. Status Unknown.

Archon of Storms: The Governor of the Blazing Reach district. The core sigil of Lightning is his personal sigil. May be Rin, Archon of Lightning under a different title.

Archons of Tharavis: For some reason I can’t remember, I only have the title and their association with preservation magic in my notes. Please clarify if you have more information.

Archon of Thralldom (†): An ancient Archon, known for his interest in the Bane and any means of taming them as useful servants. His runes provided the means to create the Baneward. (The flavour text on the Baneward is positively enthralling)

Archon of Turmoil: An Archon who some claim wielded the Gravebow in a war to single-handedly destroy the Bane. Unknown if they actually existed or are just part of a rumour. 

Archon of Water (†): Killed by Rin, Archon of Lightning during an allegedly diplomatic embrace by electric shock.

Archon of Wind: Received the dubious honour of being called the “Archon of Gullibility” for a decade in the Voices of Nerat’s head for losing a race with him through Nerat’s trickery. Status Unknown.

Archon of Wounds: Developed various methods of arcane healing with their powers. Status Unknown.

Archon of Unknown Aspect (†): A female “Archon of old” whom wielded the first incarnation of the weapon Deathbringer, and is described as having “brought death to all her enemies.” Likely deceased as her weapon has been shattered by 431 TR.

Unknown Archons (x2), (†): Two Archons that the Voices of Nerat was allowed to consume.

[thisaintascenereviews]

Ten Of My All-Time Favorite Bands By Bradley Christensen

It’s not a secret that I listen to a lot of music, and something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time is talk about my favorite bands. I’ve talked about a few, but I thought it would be fun to make a quick list of ten of my favorites. I’ll definitely make more lists, because I have tons of my favorite bands. That’s the problem with me. I listen to so much music, I don’t have favorite bands, favorite songs, or even favorite albums anymore, because it would be so hard to rank them. I mean, I have a few bands, artists, and albums that are definitely at the top for me, but aside from a top three or four, it would be hard for me to rank everything else. I don’t have a definite favorite, but I thought it would be cool to highlight certain bands, artists, and things like that, just to recognize some music that’s meant a lot to me in the last ten years that I’ve been into music. These aren’t my definite all-time favorites, minus a couple, but there are more bands and artists that I love. This list would just be composed of ten of them. Like I said, they’re in no order whatsoever, because I have a hard time ranking things like that (my favorite albums of the year is much different, because I only have that year to pick from, but when it’s of all time, that’s when it’s a lot harder). I hope you enjoy, though, and if you’d like to, give me some of your favorite bands. Maybe we’ll have something in common, or I’ll have something new to check out. I’m always listening to new stuff, and it wouldn’t hurt for me to add more to my neverending list of stuff to check out. One more little disclaimer, too; I’ve talked about some bands that I’d consider to be my favorites plenty of times, and I wanted to include a couple of those bands / artists, but I’ll space those out, since I want to talk about stuff that I haven’t talked about, either ever, or that I haven’t talked about in years.

10. Chevelle

Starting off this list properly, this one might surprise some people, because I’ve never talked about this band in terms of being one of my favorites, but the Illinois hard-rock band Chevelle is a band that I’ve talked about a lot. If it weren’t for my best friend Jake introducing me to these guys maybe four or five years ago, I wouldn’t have come across them, because hard-rock is not a style of music I listen to. I wanted to talk about one of these bands, because I listen to a handful, but out of all of them, this is the best one for me. Chevelle is a good example of a band that makes things interesting, unique, and different, especially with how other bands in this style can be boring, generic, and lifeless. Chevelle’s last couple of albums are easily my favorites, because they have a good middle ground between the sounds that they’ve been toying with over the years, but all of their other albums are good, too. This is a cool band, though, and while they’re necessarily among the top tier acts that I love dearly, Chevelle is a band that I’m always excited to listen to, especially when they put out new material.

9. Broadside

This is one of the newer bands on the list, and possibly one of the only newer bands in the whole series, but I felt like putting some modern stuff here, too, because I wanted to highlight bands and artists from all eras, genres, and styles of music. Broadside have only been around for the last few years, but their two albums are great slices of pop-punk. I fell in love with these guys when I first listened to their debut LP, Old Bones, just a couple of years ago. These guys know how to make pop-punk catchy, energetic, and fun, whereas a lot of bands today aren’t doing that. I used to listen to pop-punk religiously, but I don’t do that anymore, just because a lot of bands don’t do anything for me. They don’t have the same effect as other bands once did, but Broadside captures everything that I love about pop-punk, as well as why I got into the genre in the first place. Sure, the genre’s kind of lacking now, but at the same time, it’s bands like Broadside that keep my ear closer to the genre than I otherwise would have thought. There’s nothing all that unique about this band, but they do what they do well, like I said, and that’s all you need sometimes.

8. D’Angelo

Throwing it back to the 90s, D’Angelo is a classic artist in the R&B / neo-soul movement, and I’d be hardpressed to say that he’s not a favorite of mine. I’ll admit that I wasn’t sold on his last LP, 2014’s Black Messiah, but that was because I wasn’t into R&B, let alone the weirder stuff. Listening through his first two albums, however, those being 1995’s Brown Sugar (which is my favorite out of the three) and 2000’s Voodoo, I’ve become a huge fan. I love D’Angelo’s voice, it’s absolutely fantastic, his lyrics are very well-written, and his sound is very experimental, weird, but interesting, unique, and still accessible. He’s a classic R&B artist, even though he releases once a decade, pretty much. I just realized that, too – each of his albums came out in the next decade. That’s the thing with D’Angelo, though, as his sound and influence is so great, that people don’t mind waiting for years for a new album. When they get it, they’ll know it’ll be good, because it’s D’Angelo. You don’t need to say anything else. If you’re looking to get into R&B, especially 90s R&B, D’Angelo is a great place to start. Brown Sugar, his debut LP, is the best one, because it’s the most accessible. If you like what you hear on that album, that’s when I’ve move into his later work, even though it’s a bit more off-putting and experimental in a basic sense.

7. Carly Rae Jepsen

There’s this trend in pop music that’s been happening for the last few years, in which 80s new wave and synthpop has been making a comeback. I’m very mixed on it, because I’m all for retro music coming back, but this whole 80s influence is really, really overplayed. I’m getting pretty sick of it, honestly, but it’s because these acts don’t do anything with the sound that makes it interesting. Carly Rae Jepsen, however, does. Her major label debut, Kiss, wasn’t exactly an 80s pop record. It was more of a generic, modern, and slick pop album that I’ll admit that I love a lot. It’s a great record, and it’s more than the one-hit-wonder than she’s been out to be. Her sophomore LP, 2015’s Emotion, is where she really shines. The 80s new wave sound works very well for her, especially since her voice has that sound, and the lyrics are very innocent and sweet, perfect for a light and fluffy sound. She also makes her lyrics interesting, too, all the while having some catchy as hell hooks. She did release an EP with some bonus tracks and b-sides from the album last year, which I really liked, but in terms of pop music, it doesn’t get much better than Carly Rae Jepsen. She’s one of my favorite pop artists, and while she’s not exactly a household name in the mainstream, the underground and indie scenes are all over her, but for the best reasons.

6. Earth, Wind & Fire

I’ve talked about the 90s, as well as the 80s, but let’s kick it back to the 1970s. Specifically, let’s kick it back to the 70s funk scene. Out of every band in that scene, there’s one that I would easily consider to be my favorite – Earth, Wind & Fire. This Chicago outfit is one of the most well-recognized and famous groups of all time, but I absolutely love them to death. There’s a lot to love here, and if you’re already familiar with them, you know what they are. The vocals of this group are amazing, as well as their vocal harmonies, the lyrics have always been very top notch, whether they’re singing about a more politically-charged topic, or they’re just singing about love, and their sound is very eclectic but accessible. These guys and girls essentially brought funk music to a mainstream audience. Funk, during the early 70s, was more underground, raw, and unpolished. It wasn’t mainstream friendly, but Earth, Wind & Fire, among plenty of other bands, brought the style to the mainstream by adding an R&B, soul, and pop sensibility to it, making them one of the best-selling bands of all time. Even their last album, that I picked up earlier this year, is really, really good. It came out in 2013, I believe, but it’s surprisingly a solid record, way better than it has any right to be. It shows that the band’s still got it after all of these years, and I’m glad, because Earth, Wind & Fire is an iconic band, and one of the best of all time, so this is one band that everyone should listen, even if it’s just once, because they’re amazing.

5. Hands Like Houses

Chevelle was the first hard-rock / metal-ish band that I wanted to talk about here, but I wanted to talk about one more – Hands Like Houses. When I first listened to Hands Like Houses about five years ago, I was just getting out of the post-hardcore / metalcore scene, but this band drew me into their sound, because it wasn’t anything like I’d really heard before. They were a post-hardcore band that had “heavier” instrumentation, but their vocalist was essentially a pop / R&B vocalist. The vocalist reminded me a lot of Fall Out Boy frontman Patrick Stump, but not because of his tone, just because of how his vocals blatantly had a soulful groove to them, while the music was heavier and more rock-based. I thought it was cool, and I was pretty into their debut, but by the time their second album came out, I wasn’t too crazy about the band, or even that style anymore. It was really solid, though, but what sold me on them was their latest LP, Dissonant. Released last year, I wasn’t expecting much with it, only because I wasn’t hugely into that kind of music anymore, but damn, that album blew me away. It was everything I wanted the album to be, as they went more into their pop side, but the heavier instrumentation was still there. The hooks on that thing were utterly fantastic, and their vocalist really shined to his full potential. I don’t keep up with the metalcore scene anymore, because it’s not my style at all, but there are a few bands that really capture my attention. This is one of them, though, and I’ll happily check out anything that they put out.

4. Chance The Rapper

I can’t say that I have a lot of favorite rappers, but that’s not because I don’t listen to a lot of hip-hop, because I do. The thing is, though, I haven’t heard a whole lot that’s really blown me away to the point of being my favorite. I’ve got some stuff, though, and one of those rappers / rap groups for me would Chance The Rapper. That’s such a clichéd thing to say, though, because Chance is one those rappers that every white kid likes, pretty much, but I’ll be damned, he’s great. Acid Rap is the mixtape that got him on the map, and it’s the first thing I heard from him, but it was great. It’s one of my favorite hip-hop projects, as well as one of my favorite albums of all time, and for good reason. What made him end up on this list, though, is his last mixtape, Coloring Book. Released last year, I wasn’t into the tape when I first heard it, but that’s because I wasn’t into soul music just yet. After getting more into soul music, I decided to go back to the mixtape, and goddamn, it blew me the hell away. What a fantastic project, and I’m really bummed that I kind of wrote it off when I first talked about it, because the album is great. I did eventually rectify that review with a Rewind Review, but I wish I was really into it when I first listened to it. Ah well, Chance The Rapper is a great MC (his voice can be annoying to people, though, but it doesn’t bother me), with some great lyrics and wordplay, as well as an ear for unique sounds and ideas. Hell, the dude won a Grammy, despite being totally independent of a record label. How dope is that? Chance’s been going places ever since Acid Rap dropped, and he’s only getting bigger and bigger.

3. Hall & Oates

I’ve been on a Hall & Oates kick lately, and if there’s one band that I instantly had to put on the first episode of this series, it’s them. Hell, if I’m being honest, my top three favorite bands are on the first episode here, because I love Hall & Oates that much. I first got into these guys around 2009 / 2010, as I found a copy of the Ultimate Collection, or something. It was a two-disc greatest hits album, and despite mainly being into metalcore, post-hardcore, indie-rock, and pop-punk, I was loving that record. I listened to it a lot for a straight summer, as well as plenty more classic rock / pop albums, but Hall & Oates has always remained one of my favorite groups. The thing is, though, I haven’t really gotten into their albums until the last few years. I picked up a ton of their albums, but when it came to talk about them, I didn’t know what to say, because I wasn’t super knowledgeable. In fact, I was going to write a review of 1981’s Private Eyes, but it wasn’t a good one, so I scrapped it. I want to talk about these albums again, though, but that’s what kickstarted the 80s binge that I’ve been on. Anyway, Hall & Oates is a band that hits every checkmark for me when it comes to stuff that I look for in music: Daryl Hall has such an amazing voice, and the harmonies both him and John Oates do are fantastic (I like Oates’ voice, too, and whenever one of his songs come on, I don’t mind listening to it, but his voice isn’t quite as expressive as Hall’s, unfortunately), and their sound is a great mix between soul, pop, R&B, and rock. Their earlier stuff is more soul and folk-based, but it’s their string of 80s albums that set them apart from a lot of other bands and artists from the 80s. If you’ve never listened to Hall & Oates, you’re totally missing out, because they’re responsible for some of the best, as well as catchiest, songs in all of existence.

2. The Beatles

Truth be told, I’ve always hated The Beatles being my favorite band, because it’s such an obvious choice, right? Oh, yeah, I like The Beatles, but so does literally everyone else, but the thing about that is that I realized after a long while is that it’s okay to enjoy the most “obvious” bands and artists to like. That doesn’t mean they’re any less great, and hell, there’s a lot to talk about when it comes to The Beatles. That’s why I’ll keep this relatively short, but come on, you all know why they’re here. They’re a great, influential, and awesome band that influenced both rock and roll and psychedelic music in the early to mid 1960s. All four of their members went on to have successful solo careers, even if I really love one of them, and their place in rock history will always be cemented, because they released some of the best albums of all time. Hell, it’s often considered that one of their albums is the best album ever released, but that’s definitely up for debate. Regardless, though, The Beatles has been one of my all time favorite bands for the last few years now, and it all started by having an album of their number one singles. Well, the only album that wasn’t represented was Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, because a lot of the singles were banned from radio, thanks to being quite “edgy” for the time. I picked up that album, because it was the only one I hadn’t heard any songs from (well, I knew a lot of those songs, I just didn’t have any of them in a physical format), so I picked that up, and the rest is history. I could talk about this band forever, but you get the idea, right?

1. Fall Out Boy

For this list, I had to pick my all time favorite band. I had to talk about them, even though I’ve talked about them a lot this year. That would be Fall Out Boy, and like with The Beatles, I’ll keep it short. This band means so much to me, because they’re the first band I ever loved. Infinity On High, which came out ten years ago, is the album that got me into music as I know it. It’s a great album, too, and it’s held up incredibly well over the last ten years. It’s easily their best album, at least to me, but their new stuff is great, too. I feel like I’m in the minority of people, especially diehard fans, who think so, but that’s okay. This band really stuck out to me for many reasons over the years, whether it was vocalist Patrick Stump, lyricist / bassist Pete Wentz, or the overall sound. Stump is one of my all time favorite vocalists, which is a list I need to make at some point, and Wentz is one of my favorite lyricists. Sure, the earlier material hasn’t aged as well, but even then, it’s still good for what it is. I still enjoy their earlier material, but it’s not quite as strong as everything from Infinity On High and over. That’s because the band was very experimental, unique, and different within their own genre. I feel like Patrick Stump in particular, and his knack for writing very catchy, slick, and energetic hooks is a reason why the band got huge. They are one of the few pop-punk bands that transcended their scene, which is very rare for a lot of bands in that sense, especially today. I’m not sure which band I love more, The Beatles or Fall Out Boy, because both bands are great in their own ways, but Fall Out Boy does have more emotional weight for me, because they’re the first band that I ever loved. The Beatles is tied for the spot, though, because they are the only other band that’s had such an effect on me, as well as an influence in terms of the way that I think about music.