#might make another post for the other idea... not rn cause i should try to sleep but soon

[bonded-by-love-and-hatred]

Bad boy big brother Jerome and goody-two-shoes little brother Jeremiah

Of course Jerome just loves corrupting sweet things that his mother thinks are just absolutely perfect and can do no wrong.

SO MANY IDEAS

I shall ramble more about one in particular under the cut🙃

(fair warning for incest and horny if it's not already obvious lol)

Give them like three or four years difference. Growing up, Jeremiah is the perfect son while Jerome is outcast and abused- except by his brother. Jeremiah (starting at only two years old) always hung on him, followed him around like a shadow even when Jerome snapped and hurt him. He'd cry, Jerome would get punished, and then Jeremiah was clinging onto him again with pitiful little apologies.

Eventually, Jerome gets used to it and secretly starts to like it. He does sometimes convince Jeremiah to cause trouble to watch him get punished. It backfired a lot.

Jeremiah, by five-years-old, when Jerome is forced to care for him 24/7, has taken on the task of protecting his big brother from the abuse. Whenever Jerome wants to do something he knows they shouldn't, he begs and begs him not to- if it doesn't work, he dives in right beside him. Still, he's hardly ever punished. The blame is always on Jerome. He's the older of the two and should know better. And he's always the one up to no good anyway, dragging his brother down with him. Jeremiah really ought to get away from him before he becomes just like Jerome.

The comments he overhears only make him cling to his brother more. He doesn't think Jerome is bad or stupid or anything the others say. When he got mean it was only to protect him, well...most of the time.

Jeremiah's ten when he finds out you're not supposed to kiss your brother on the mouth. But he likes to see Jerome smile afterwards, so he'll keep their secret.

Jeremiah's twelve when they move out of Haley's Circus and into Gotham. Uncle Zach finally scraped enough together to buy his own diner. And a smart boy like Jeremiah should really be in school where he can expand his knowledge and have a real chance at life (a real chance of making them money).

Jerome hates their apartment, hates being stuck in one place, hates that Jeremiah's at school or studying all the time now. One night, after Jeremiah's fallen asleep curled up against him, Jerome kisses his forehead and leaves without a word.

Jeremiah gets a postcard now and then, a gift on his birthday and Christmas, and nothing else. No letters or explanations or phone calls. Abandoned and alone, all he can do is listen to his mother's thanks for Jerome's absence and throw himself into his studies.

A few days before Christmas, seventeen now, Jeremiah receives another postcard. It's from Gotham. He goes to school, fidgety and in another world as he wonders if Jerome will visit him. Maybe he'd just run into him on the street, if he ever actually went anywhere other than school, the library once in a blue moon, and home.

Now either Jerome comes to pick him up from school or Jerome's waiting at home for him- either way, Jeremiah isn't sure if he wants to hug or slap him. Why not both tho honestly. He doesn't cling the way he did as a child- meaning literally hanging onto him- but he stays in his presence. And tries not to ogle him too much. Can't really help it tho and could you blame him? Jerome lounging back on the couch in a leather jacket with his T-shirt riding up, a cigarette in his mouth and those eyes almost always on Jeremiah like a predator watching its prey and he keeps touching him with his rough hands that could mark and bruise and hold him down and now he's twirling a knife around his fingers like he thinks he's some badass and he is really he's a dangerous predator and Jeremiah can't get enough

Jerome claims his top bunk again (that Jeremiah slept in until Jerome's scent faded and he hadn't touched it since). Jeremiah can't sleep, he just stares at the bunk above him wondering if Jerome was thinking of him too. How often had he thought of Jeremiah while he was gone? Was he even sorry he left without a goodbye? Did he even care that he broke Jeremiah's heart? Did he miss all their secret moments that Jeremiah hadn't been able to forget no matter how hard he tried because it fucking hurt so much why did Jerome leave why did he abandon him why didn't he take Jeremiah with him

Actually I think now would be a better time for Jerome to pick him up from school. Jerome's passed out when he leaves for school and he has a bit of a rough day, but then Jerome comes to get him and all the questions he's been stewing over just come spilling out until he's crying in Jerome's truck after beating on his shoulder for a few minutes.

But of course Jerome missed him. He loved him so much and it hurt to leave, but he couldn't stay. He could barely support himself, how could he have supported Jeremiah too? He just needed to get on his own two feet and then come back to him. And how could he say goodbye to the only one he's ever loved? But of course he missed him, of course he loved him. Jeremiah's his little brother- he'd burn the whole world down for him.

And finally they have sappy, sniffly kisses that escalate into making out that escalates to grinding and marking and stripping-

Now they just have to hide all this from Lila and Uncle Zach during the break

(how that all would end, no idea, I just want them to sneak around having sex while Lila thinks Jeremiah is the pinnacle of purity but really he's a fallen angel corrupted by the lure of the devil)

[uh-oh-its-bird]

Fuck ok, gather 'round it's time for another fic idea spinning off of a crumb from my last post ab time traveling team Ro into founders era:

Summary:

Fact 1; Kakashi is now 3 weeks the last living Hatake.

Fact 2; Tobirama Senju, according to dusty old scrolls Kakashi finds in his father's study, was apparently half Hatake himself.

Lonley and hurting, Kakashi grabs on to this fact with both hands and squeezes it so tight to his aching heart that his hands bleed.

Or, still processing his father's suicide, Konoha's favorite baby genius finds out he's distantly related to history's favorite baby genius and immediatly starts projecting to cope.

Digging through old journals, history books, Kakashi begins to try his own hand at the man's favorite past time; creating jutsu's. It's the both the hardest thing he's ever done and the most satisfying to date.

Ft.

1) Weirdly chill scene with Danzo (fuck that guy but hear me out) where he kinda looks at Kakashi and sees the hint of the shadow of the man who taught him. Not quite there yet, not fully, but crumbs of it. Enough to make him nostalgic, and enough to hand over an old journal that used to belong to Tobirama.

A calculated risk, he tells himself.

An unspoken challenge, both Danzo and Kakashi understand.

He wants to see how far Kakashi can go, finds himself almost eager to see how close he can come to the shadow of the man he seems so determined to chase.

(and if this side project temporarily distracts him for long enough that Orochimaru slips through his fingers, well, it's not like he knows it was this event specifically that caused that plan to fall through)

2) The fact that, both due to time and the Hatake clan's less than stellar reputation during the warring states era, Tobirama's Hatake ancestry got buried. Kakashi finding him on a dusty old family tree has ✨️political implications✨️ for Kakashi specifically. Ones he isn't all too interested in — unless it means he might be able to access things he otherwise wouldn't've.

Also just general fun surprised Pikachu faces from some people as an added bonus.

3) Kakashi becoming even more terrifying than he rightfully should be at that age !! Danzo pretty much handed him a missile and went "lmao good luck" with that journal! He should not have that! He's learning things! He is experimenting! Someone take the missile away from the baby before he learns how to make his own— oh fuck it's too late hes somehow made a nuke instead

4) Orochimaru poking Kakashi with a stick and vice versa. They are making baby genius <--> baby genius eye contact it's mildly concerning, Minato is concerned. Obito is jealous, he wishes the Snake Sannin would poke HIM with a stick

5) Kakashi bites someone. That's it that's the bullet point I just think he should get to bite someone is all.

And more !!! Im ngl I think I like Tobirama just existing in the fic as as an ever present shadow, super influential in just every single chapter but never actually present. But I won't lie if I'm giggling over the thought of Kakashi finding Edo Tensei and going ".... ok but what better way to figure out this new jutsu / seal than to ask the source directly."

Orochimaru would so help he's having too much fun with this to bother experimenting on children for Danzo. Don't talk to him rn he's having fun with corpses!! No not the corpses you asked him to have fun with, the other ones!

[sevs-corner]

Another quick shot ideas on- Tf 141: Mafia AU!

Link to Prev parts:

Currently on Ch 2- Mini Epilogue, and you can find it here :D 👇

A/N: 1st Edit of adding onto Price’s part + the other TF 141 boiyos will get their own on a separate post✨

So here’s the sitch folks

Price👏has👏the👏moola

Which means that he will not hesitate to spend it all for you

But he keeps it lowkey, he isn’t the show-y type (cough Soap cough)

So he starts slow, aside from giving you his apparels, he wants to give something to call your own

But if he asks what you want, you’d suspect him

‘Smart sweetie,’ he thinks, whenever he sees you give him that inquisitive look

Eyebrow raised, a knowing smirk

If only you knew the things you do to this man behind closed doors

He starts giving you simple stuff, a bracelet - something that was sleek in design but had good value (both sentimentally and economically)

Because, when he gave that bracelet to you

It was the day he, tells himself this, officially fell for you- wanting to do his damnest to court you however possible way he can

Imagine a cold December, the worst possible season ever for you.

You hate the cold, as much as how it cool it becomes when the rain rolls in and rattles your bones.

No, you’re not old, just weary.

You always hated the rain, but why- as you stood hand-in-hand with this mafia boss- did you want the rain to continue.

Currently, you were running through the rain with him, laughing all the way until you found a tiny closed up shop with an awning over it.

Pointing at it with a quick, “over there! Som cover!”

Price nods and speeds up his pace, making you squeal— complaining that he should slow down or you’ll both slip but he insists.

“I’ll catch you,” he says so reassuringly, “don’t worry.”

And you didn’t.

Even when you both slid under the awning, with you almost slipping past-- but luckily he was there.

You then realize he is a man of his word.

Catch you he will, and catch you he did.

With his hands on your waist, you swore to yourself that you haven’t felt this more secure than ever in your life.

John Price on the other hand, was tethering-- barely able to keep his hands to himself once he got a taste on holding you in his arms.

He pulled you closer, not letting his hands leave you for a second, as he lets his inhibitions go, resulting with his arms wrapping around you securely. (That even if you did try to escape you wouldn't be able to- not like you wanted to anyways.)

Once he fells no resistance coming from you, he breathes in deep, trying to live in the moment as much as possible as you relax in his hold- both of your giggles dying out and letting the patter of rain consume space instead.

"You know," you whisper, "I hate the rain."

You could feel Price's chest rumble, and his voice respond right next to your ear.

"I know that, lovie."

You let that stew in you, humming out a reply that just came to the top of your head.

"But I don't hate it right now."

Price wanted to ask why, but he knew-- inside he knew why you didn't at that moment. Though it didn't feel right to voice his thoughts at the moment and simply holds you closer instead, hoping to reassure you through it that,

'its okay to hate things most of the time, but then like it when you're with someone.'

And he thinks to himself, maybe... it was like that with you too.

He never liked going out on dates- he never had time for those frivolous things.

He wasn't a gift giver, but always found himself giving you whatever you wanted or needed.

He wasn't a lover, but damned the world and his existence would be if he couldn't find himself not to love you.

Squeezing his arms close to you made him snap back to his reality, the reality that you were in arms-reach.

And that tether?

Now fully loose and wrapped around you-- just as his arms are.

Once you arrived back at your apartment, John knew that now was the right time.

So he tugs at your coat from the bottom of the stairs, barely able to catch you before you leave his sight.

“Hey.”

He watches you turn around, a crooked smile on your face as you copy him.

“Hey?”

“I-,” he stumbles, “-could you..?”

He lips feels dry, the saliva he gulps becomes hard to do with his throat feeling like sandpaper, his hands get clammy and he has to shove it down his pocket to avoid you seeing it shake.

You stare at him, head tilted as you return back his words to him- hoping to coax out whatever he wanted to get out.

“Could I..?”

With a deep breath, he forces eye contact with and asks,

“Will you accept this?”

From deep within the recess of his pocket, he hands you a small dark navy leathered covered box, gold engraving on its front— and it made you pause.

“John…” you step down the stairs to stand chest to chest with him, “…what’s this for?”

You wrapped your hands around his, entrapping the box between his hands.

If there was moment in his life where he felt his heart drop in- this would be the number one.

What if he overstepped—?

Moved too soon, way too early? Fuck- he just messed up didn’t he-?

“John?”

But your voice forces him to resurface from the deep spiral and he shakes his head. Splitting him from fantasy and reality.

He tries to ground himself further by dropping his head to lock eyes with you, and he swore that the stars still shined in them, just as the day he met you.

“I,” he licks his chapped lips, “I thought of you when I saw this.”

You released his hands for him to open it and once he did, you gasped, eyes snapping back and forth from the silver bracelet and his face- oh his face.

It was so twinged in nervousness but at the same time, a sense of softness and vulnerability that you instinctively knew that he never shows this kind of side of him to anyone.

“I got a couple of charms on it,” he points out with a chuckle, “thought it’d be nice to add onto it whenever we go to places.”

“Like a keepsake…” you mutter, thoughts unable to be kept within as you feel your chest tighten.

He nods, “precisely.”

“And this,” he points to the rain droplet charm, “will be a reminder of today.”

Any thought that came onto your brain was incoherent and words, if it were to be spoken right now, felt too cheap to say.

So you settle for a hug, one so tight and comforting that Price greedily wishes that he could be in it forevermore.

Eventually you had to let go, dry your eyes, and tuck in for the night.

“John!”

You call out one last time by your window, and said man turns, his usual smile softened by the glow of the moon.

“I kinda like the rain now!”

His laughter resounds through the night as he carries your words next to his heart.

‘One day,’ he thinks to himself, ‘one day we’ll get to fill up that bracelet.’

[mirkwoodshewolf]

No following; Planet of the apes fanfic Chap. 11

*Author's note*

Alright guys this will be the last update for awhile cause now you all are officially caught up on where I stopped with the story. Yeah I told yah I had about half of the movie itself done rn. Just a few more chapters then I'll write some chapters that'll go b/t DAWN & WAR. Glad people are enjoying this story and giving it a chance.

Now in this chapter things get pretty intense as a divide not only b/t Lin and the colony has started but also b/t the Apes as well with Koba and his dissent into madness. Be warned, there is a confrontation scene b/t Lin and Koba that might frighten you (depending on how well it is written to you). But there will be another scene b/t Lin and Caesar to calm things down afterwards. Anyway hope you all enjoyed this binge posting and until the next chapter comes up :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@queen-paladin

@psychosupernatural

________________________________________________________

As I walked further along the forests I soon came to the trail that would lead me towards the ape colony.  My breathing sharpened as I felt a pull to try and make things right, but I could also make things worse.  That fucker Carver just had to screw things for all of us, and now I may have lost Caesar for good this time.

But at the same time those old big sister instincts were festering in my gut.  After all these years I finally reunited with Caesar and I—I couldn’t bear to let us leave on these terms unlike before.

“Boys, keep an eye on Malcolm and the others. Make sure they don’t come to the camp.” I then left them as I raced down the trail towards the ape colony.

Once again I was stopped by the gorilla guard and brought into the colony.  Thankfully not being manhandled like before but they still had no ounce of trust as I was brought to Caesar.  I was then transferred from the gorilla guard to several chimps.

“Please, please all I ask is an audience with him. I just need five minutes with him.” I pleaded as I was lead up towards the same structure as Maurice lead me up last night, however instead of continuing to the top, I was taken to the top nest where Caesar, his son and a few other female chimps sitting around a sick female chimp.  “Caesar, I know I’m the last person you want to see but you have to believe me, I had no idea about Carver’s gun. I should’ve checked it myself instead of relying on Malcolm’s word or even Carver’s actions.”

“You….gave me. Your word!” Caesar growled lowly.

“I know. Believe me, I’m kicking myself repeatedly because of it. But I couldn’t leave without you at least knowing my truth. If it were up to me, Carver would never have come along. Please believe me, brother Ape.” At that statement, the female chimps who all looked like they were healers looked at me in shock, as did his son.

Caesar remained quiet and didn’t turn to face me.  That’s when a commotion was heard outside and I heard Malcolm’s voice say.

“Please, please I just need to speak to him.” I growled as I clenched my fists.  The second both him and Ellie showed themselves I exclaimed.

“Jesus Christ of course you’d be here! Why can’t you just stay the fuck away and leave me and them alone!? You’ve done enough!”

“Lin please. You have every right to be angry, but just give me time to explain it to him.” He then went around me as he said to Caesar. “I’m sorry. That was all my fault, but I will make him leave.”

“This my home.” Caesar grunted. “You should not be here.” He then spoke softer as he kept his back toward us.

“I understand.” Malcolm replied.

“Malcolm.” Ellie said to him softly as she took noticed of the sick female chimp on the bed.

Now that my attention fully went to her, I could hear her wheezing and around her brows she had what almost looked like beads that were almost in a circlet-crown fashion.  And she didn’t just look sick, she looked like she was on death’s doorstep.  Like Caroline was when she got sick with the virus.

“She’s sick.” Malcolm pointed out, which got some of the other female chimps’ attention.

“How long has she been this way?” asked Ellie.  No one gave her an answer but Caesar turned to glare at her.  “I have medicine. Antibiotics.” Ellie offered.

“Maybe she can help.” Malcolm suggested.

“Do. Not. Trust you.” Caesar spoke softly before looking back down at the female chimp.

“I don’t blame you. But believe me, we’re not all like him.” Malcolm told him.

“Caesar.” I then spoke up.  Slowly I came forward and said, “I’m sure you all have tried everything you can for her, but it seems that nothing is working for her. Ellie—is the best doctor I’ve had the privilege of knowing. Please, let her help.” I said kneeling down beside him.  I looked down at the wheezing female chimp and signed to him.  ‘Who is she?’

‘Cornelia. My wife.’ Caesar signed back to me.  I looked down at Cornelia and remembered that name from the shelter all those years ago.  I can see why Caesar fell for her, she was one of the most beautiful female chimps.  And she always had such a curious and kind nature about her.

‘You were right. She is beautiful.’ I signed.  ‘When Will lost Caroline, he was so heartbroken and distraught. It was like he lost a piece of himself. I know you don’t want to lose her, nor your sons to lose their mother when there’s still a chance to save her.’

Caesar looked at me and I could just see it in his eyes.  Those same heartbroken, bloodshot eyes that Will had after Caroline had passed.  The tears hidden within and I could faintly see a small tear slide down his face.  After a moment of us staring at each other, he stepped aside and allowed Ellie to do her work.

I then gave Ellie a hand gesture for her to come forward and help Cornelia.  Slowly she came up removing her backpack and as I left to give her space to work, I felt Caesar’s hand take mine and he gripped onto it tightly.

Even if his face wouldn’t show it before Ellie and Malcolm, I knew that his grip was one of pleading for help.  I could just feel in his grip the fear and worry he had for his beloved wife and how he couldn’t bare to lose her.  I stepped closer to hide our hands as I squeezed his hand back assuringly.

“One day.” Caesar then spoke up.  Ellie looked up at him and Caesar repeated, “You stay…one day.”

‘Father, no!’ his eldest son signed out as he looked at his father in shock.

“We might need a little more time…..” Malcolm started but Caesar roared as he faced him.

“ONE DAY!” Caesar’s breath sharpened briefly before he continued, “Ape will help.”

‘I will not help!’ his son signed again as he narrowed his eyes angrily at his father.  I glared at Malcolm and told him.

“You’re lucky to even get a day Malcolm, don’t push it. And this time, all conditions must be met. No exceptions.”

“The moment we get back to camp, Carver’s going down to the trucks.” Assured Malcolm.  But that didn’t sit right with me

“Take the keys before you leave him. I’ll even have Kiba, Tsume and Hige stand watch over him to ensure he doesn’t do anything stupid. And if he does—I’ll hold no responsibilities to what happens to him.”

“Lin….”

“I’m serious Malcolm. You knew bringing him was a bad idea the moment he shot the young ape. He’s nothing but trouble and yet you still brought him along.”  Malcolm was silent as we locked eyes with each other before he finally said.

“Alright. I’ll—keep my mouth shut if your wolves have to attack him. They did defend you after all back at the dam.”

“And I didn’t even tell them to attack him. If he somehow stays alive by morning when we get this done. I want to ensure no one is going to rat out my pack to the colony.”

“Whatever you want Lin.” I released Caesar’s hand and walked up to Malcolm and extended my hand out.

“Then we’re in an agreement.” Malcolm took my hand and we shook on it.  I squeezed his hand as tight as I could, digging my nails into his skin.  “Don’t make me regret this.” I hissed lowly at him.

After Ellie was done giving Cornelia and telling the other female chimps what to watch out for in case things went south, we all headed back to the camp with the escort of the apes.

Malcolm informed the others that we could stay but Carver had to go.  No one but the accused party spoke up against this matter.  So as Carver was screaming out how this was bullshit, Foster forced him down the hill and I said to Kiba.

“You, Tsume and Hige keep an eye on him. He tries anything, you know what to do.” Kiba looked me with those piercing yellow eyes of his before lowly growling before turning to Tsume and Hige and letting out a few grunts and snarls.

Tsume and Hige turned to each other before the two of them raced after Foster and Carver snarling and barking with Kiba running right behind them doing the same.  Toboe wanted to race after them but I told him.

“Toboe guard!” He came over to me and curled his body behind my legs. I then turned to Caesar and asked, “I know you must’ve had some bad experiences with wolves in the past, but I’d like to offer this pup as aid in helping to dig out the debris. Being the pup of the pack, Toboe has done his fair share of digging holes in order to catch rabbits and foxes. He’s certainly gotten into his fair share of trouble a time or two poking into the wrong holes. But he knows who to attack and who not to attack.”

“Pup may help.” Caesar said.  I scratched the back of Toboe’s head as he leaned against my touch grunting lovingly.  “Follow Toboe.” He looked between my hand pointing out to Caesar and me before getting the message as he walked over to Caesar’s horse. 

“The rest of us, while the apes clear off the debris, we’ll start working on the main power station. We’ve got a lot of work to do and little time to do it.” Malcolm told the others as we all gathered our materials and headed back to the dam.

While Luca and half the apes along with Toboe went down to the bottom to clear off the debris from the explosion earlier this morning, the rest of the apes including Caesar and Maurice were with us in the main power building trying to fix the power grid that way once things were cleared up from down below, we could try and turn everything on and get things running quicker.

“Yo Alex, this relay’s busted. See if there’s another one.” Foster said as he was at one of the control panels and found a relay that was completely useless from years of rust and erosion.  Foster handed Alexander the old relay, he took a good long look at it before heading over to the other side of the dam to see if there was another relay to put into the controls.  I walked over to Foster and asked.

“So I remember briefly from science class, but how exactly does water power work exactly? Like I completely understand solar power but is there a difference?”

“More or less.” Foster explained as he began digging his hands into the exposed power box.  “You saw how the dam has that steep slope down pass the river.”

“Yeah.”

“Well the steeper the slope, the more power that can be made. Once the water is collected through the tunnels that we tried to clear off, the turbines within the dam will start collecting filling up with water, when there’s enough water it’ll connect to these generators and we should be able to restore power. After turning a few switches in order to get it through the city, that’s all it should take. But that’s if we can get these generators up and running as best we can.”

“Yeah I can already see. All these wires are completely eroded and faulty.”

“But I gotta keep the faith that we’ll get this thing running. Especially now with Carver out of the picture and not causing any trouble.”

“If I had a beer I’d say I’ll drink to that.”

“I’ve got a few pints of some old whiskey back at my place, be willing to drink a cup or two with you if you’re up for it.” Foster offered.

“After all I’ve seen these past 10 years, I think Whiskey would do me good.” A loud bang was heard and I turned to see that Alexander had been pushed down to the ground by none other than the scarred bonobo.

“Hey!” Alexander cried as the bonobo fully turned towards him baring his teeth.  Malcolm went over to defend his son, but he was unfortunately going at it the wrong way.  He held his arm out telling the bonobo to stop so I quickly got in front of them.

“Back off Scarface!” I snapped as I stood as tall as I could be, while the bonobo hissed at me.  “The kid and his dad are pushovers. I’m the one you really want to fight!” I spoke louder in a challenge.

His one good eye looked at me almost as if he were analyzing me but both his eyes widened in recognition.  This time pure rage encompassed him as he grabbed me by the shirt and had me pinned to the ground.

“LIN!” Alexander called out for me but his dad held him back.  The bonobo hovered over me, baring his fangs and I was brought back to that day in the redwoods when Will and I said goodbye to Caesar.  A scarred-face bonobo had ambushed us and Will had me almost buried behind his back as the bonobo was snarling and ready to tear my uncle’s face off.

Oh god….it was him! It all made sense now, this was the same bonobo that nearly killed me and Uncle Will had Caesar not intervened.  And now I’ve willingly offered myself to this crazed ape who already had a raw hatred for humans.

“You…..” he panted.  Unlike Caesar’s voice that was both commanding but could also had warmth to it, this ape’s voice was cold and harsh as ice as it sent fear down my spine.  “Look…..like….him.”  I was then picked up once again before being tossed towards Malcolm and Alex who both caught me.  Like my uncle, Malcolm now stood between the crazed bonobo and me and Alexander.

“No, no, no, no don’t! Don’t leave her!” The bonobo took another step closer snarling and baring his teeth, but soon another figure stood between us.  A large mass of orange fur stood tall before the three of us blocking us from the bonobo’s sight.  It was Maurice.

A deep grumble came out of his throat as he stared the bonobo down as a warning.  And I knew orangutans were at least twice or maybe more times stronger than chimps and bonobos (thank you Caroline).  As Maurice stood guard over us, the bonobo hissed out.

“Where Caesar? Want Caesar. CAESAR!!!” he then roared out.  I could just feel from his voice alone the raw anger and rage behind his roar.  Malcolm cupped my face and mouthed to me.

“You okay?” my adrenaline was finally coming down as I felt almost limp and nearly collapsed against him.  Both he and Alexander helped me up onto the stairs as Caesar finally made his appearance.

A deepening scowl was across his face as he slowly came out into the main room as the bonobo snarled at him.

“Humans…attack your sons! You. Let them stay! Put apes in danger!” the bonobo walked up to Caesar in a challenging manner as he continued to push at Caesar’s buttons.  “Caesar…love humans. More than Apes! More. Than. Your….sons!” he jabbed his finger into Caesar’s chest as a challenge as he spoke his last statement.

I having bared witnessed at what Caesar is willing to do for family, knew the bonobo had crossed the line.  He was taken away from us because he was defending me and grandpa from Hunsiker’s wrath.  There’s nothing Caesar loves more in this world than his family.  And to say that while his own son was here, this bonobo had just royally fucked up.

The scowl on Caesar’s face soon morphed into nothing but pure rage.  His body trembling and his breathing sharpened as he was now like a volcano ready to explode.  And boy did he.

Caesar let out a rageful cry as he tackled the bonobo, the two of them rolling on top of each other as they fought.  The other apes cleared the way as they all screeched and hooted hysterically.  While we humans could only watch in horror and shock as two apes went toe to toe with each other in a flurry of punches and body slams.

My body froze with fear as I saw the bonobo first rapidly beat Caesar in the chest with his fists before Caesar got the supper hand and got the bonobo pinned onto his back and returned the favor but it was also fueled with a parent’s rage.

Now that Caesar had an opponent he could fully rival, I was now seeing a side of Caesar that Caroline had warned Will and I of.  This primal rage that chimpanzees had, the tale of Travis the chimp, I was seeing it right before my eyes.

Not only was he beating the bonobo to the point of almost punching his face in, he also had the bonobo by the throat with his bare hands as he slammed him down on the ground multiple times before letting out this primal yell.  It shook me too my core and filled me with an icy sense of fear that I hadn’t felt in so long.

He could’ve ended it all, he could’ve ended it right then and there.  But just when everyone both human and ape thought Caesar would go through with it, he released his hold on the bonobo and his rage was finally extinguished into exhaustion.

“Ape…..not….kill….ape.” panted Caesar as he got off of the bonobo.  The bonobo still gasping for air and bleeding profusely from his face looked around but saw that no ape dared to look at him.

At this point there was no going back.  To go against the Alpha means you’re officially an outcast to the troop.  The bonobo slowly got up, kneeling down and extended his hand as he panted.

“Forgive me.” He said to Caesar after a long moment of pure silence.  Caesar looked around to all the apes before looking down at the bonobo’s extended hand.  He slowly reached out for it and when barely a touch went to the bonobo’s palm, he slinked away.  I then watched as Caesar’s eldest son turned to his father with a look of betrayal before he too left.

Caesar looked down heartbrokenly before leaving the dam leaving us wondering if we should continue to work or just leave sense the tension from the fight was still in the air.

“What do we do now?” asked Ellie.

“Work for another hour, and then we head back to camp.” Malcolm stated.  While everyone was slowly starting to go back to work, I got up and followed the same path Caesar took.

“Lin where are you going? Lin!?” Malcolm’s voice echoed but I didn’t respond back to him.

I exited the dam and soon caught sight of Caesar sitting alone by the reservoir.  His arms wrapped around his legs as he sat there by the edge of the water.

“Caesar?” I softly called out to him.  I looked at him empathetically before slowly coming over and sat down beside him.  “I’m sorry. I know us being here is causing such a rift within your troop.”

“If work not get done,” Caesar said before turning to look at me. “More humans come.”

“Yeah. Humans that I unfortunately cannot control. And who will bring guns. The sooner we get this dam working the better. And all will go back to what it was.” I said looking at him before turning my attention back to the water.

“Human…will not. Forget.”

“We may not forget, but at least there won’t be a reason for them to come back here. Not even me.” I turned back towards him, “After we leave, I’ll keep my promise from that day. You stay, I go. No following. Now that I know you’re here, there’s no reason for me to come into these woods. This is your home, and I won’t come into it anymore.”

“You…saved my sons. You are…no threat.”

“I may not be a threat but this is still your home. And I didn’t ask permission to hunt in your home. Nor the pack. They might not like staying in the city, so I might just have to leave them here. Let them finally be free, just like you are.”

“They would miss you.” I smiled softly.

“I know they would. But they deserve their best chance, and that’s being able to live freely. I’ll be fine.” My heart felt heavy as I spoke this as I was brought back to the day we said goodbye to one another.

“Where you….go now?”

“I might stay with the colony a few more days just to pack some provisions. After that I might go East. Or South. See if there’s another place out there somewhere for me.” I felt Caesar’s leather finger graze against my cheek and I turned to look at him again.

‘I’d be willing to give you part of the woods as a new home for you.’ I smiled at the offer but deep down I knew it would only turn into disaster.  I took notice of his bloody hands and took out an old bandana from my coat pocket and dabbed it into the water.

“May I?” he held out his hand and I took it into my left hand then began wiping the blood with the wet bandana.  “I finally pieced together just who the bonobo was. He was the same one you stopped from attacking Will and I that day.”

“Koba.” Caesar said his name.  “Tested by humans at lab.”

“Uncle Will’s lab.” Caesar nodded softly.

“My son…..learn from Koba. As well learned from me. Koba’s hatred for humans….pulls my son to him.”

“He’s young Caesar. He’s just learning that the world he’s been raised on has now been turned upside down because of the humans arrival.” I chuckled softly as I finished cleaning the last bit of blood from Caesar’s knuckles, “Reminds me a bit of you at his age. A young, revolutionist who fought for the rights of Apes. Who freed them of their bonds, taught them to have a voice, and lead them to the Promised Land.” Caesar let out a deep, heavy sigh before saying.

“Just….want my son…to be the leader. I know….he can be.”

“But you’ve also gotta let him take his own path. What you’ve done Caesar…its a lot to live up to. Yes he’ll make mistakes, like I’m sure you have in your decade as leader. Nobody’s perfect. And I know he’ll make the right decision when it comes down to it. You just gotta give him that chance.”

I placed my hand over his and the two of us stared into each other’s eyes.  The two of us slowly leaning towards one another our forehead almost ready to touch when we both heard the sound of footsteps walking along the pebbled shore.  I released my hand from Caesar’s as I separated from him as Kemp came up and said.

“We’ve done all we can do for now. Malcolm wants us back at camp before it gets dark. We’ll get started as early as we can the next morning, especially since the debris has now been cleared out.”

“I’ll meet you there Kemp.”

“You’re not walking with us?”

“I gotta go grab Toboe. I’ll make it there before it gets dark, don’t worry.” He nodded before leaving us.  “Better go down and get that pup before he buries himself alive, again.” I then headed over to the tunnel entrance and let out a single howl.

I heard the splooshing sound of water as running up was the young red wolf pup.  He yipped and shook himself of the dirt and water.  I exclaimed as I told him.

“Come on pup, I’ll give you a proper clean up when we get back to camp.” I carried him out of the tunnel’s stairway and we soon got back to the shore.  Caesar and I locked eyes one last time and there was a bittersweet feeling as we stared at each other.

His proposal replayed in my mind but I just couldn’t accept it.  Caesar had his people, and I—I’m just destined to be alone.  Being around Carver’s paranoia and having Dreyfus’ threat looming in the back of my mind made me realize why I prefer to be alone. 

While there’s still good people like Malcolm and his family, they will always be overshadowed by the evil that grasped humanity and increased tenfold ever since the Simian Flu outbreak.  And if word ever got out about who I really am, I doubt the colony would even want anything to do with me.

Their fear, their hatred, and the inhumane actions I’ve seen them do to one another.  But then again I’m no saint either, I too walked along that hateful path, but I soon realized just what I was becoming and I hated myself every day because of who I was becoming.

That’s why I’m better off alone.  I don’t want to take anyone down that path if there comes a time when I have to become that person again.

[gentil-minou]

hi! I hope you’re doing ok! I’ve never written an ask before so I have no idea how to do this, but you’re one of the only people I follow who is posting about Palestine, so I wanted to ask. And as a brown person I’m really worried rn.

Elections are next year and I’ve seen so many saying that people should vote for Biden because he’s at least better than Trump which is… I don’t know what to say, but it’s completely absurd. This is going to be my first time voting and all I get from people is the same “lesser of two evils” rhetoric. It’s genuinely disheartening to see that these are the only options that are shown to people. I was wondering about what you think of what’s happening, and whether voting third party seems possible

I’m sorry if this was rude to ask you, but thanks for taking the time to read this!

It's not rude, I'm glad I made you feel safe enough to ask this!

I only have one answer for you: Do not let anyone tell you who to vote for or make you feel like an evil person if you choose not to vote for the person they want you to.

Vote, definitely vote!!! Especially in local elections, those are the best ways to get people you want in power and they are in charge of a lot of important changes.

As for the presidential elections, I've had so many people I thought I admired or at least felt comfortable around attack me for my choice not to vote for Biden. I've had people claim I was spreading "pro-Trump propaganda" (which is just ridiculously bad faith in all ways), tell me that I—a queer POC—am anti-LGBTQ, and tell me I'll be deported.

They do this all while ignoring and invalidating the very real anger and hurt the Muslim and Brown populations of the US are dealing with, all because their comfort is being threatened. And instead of pressuring the party that's doing that harm and try to listen to why we feel so betrayed by Biden, they double down and attack us. In fact, they are showing their true colors. They, like Biden, only ever pretended to care about us. So I am going to vote for people who actually do care about me, even if they say I'm going to "waste my vote"

Here's the thing; as long as you vote for who you feel the most supported by, as long as you go into that voting booth and step out feeling good about your vote, then you are not wasting it.

Putting this under a read more cause it's getting long

Personally, I'm voting third party. I've had my eye on the Socialist Party but am also keeping an eye out for the others and whether or not they stand out to me

At this point, unless the DNC decides to put another candidate forward, which they most definitely won't, the Democratic party has lost me forever. I'm lucky that my Dem representative has at least shown they're on the right side of history, but I don't think I will ever vote for the Dem party again. I've forced myself to do it for the last decade and I've been disappointed or betrayed every time, so no more.

I agree this two party system is a joke and we are all being made to be a part of it when no other democratic nation has something like this. Even other countries say our "progressive" party is just centrist. And that just doesn't reflect my values.

Liberals and "vote blue no matter who" are going to tell you that you're wasting your vote by voting third party, but in actuality they are the ones supporting a flawed system that only benefits itself, not the people. The more people who vote third party, the more the dems will be pressured to put forth progressive candidates like AOC or Rashida who are actually on the left. By voting third party, you are saying you won't stand by a broken system any longer

does this mean Republicans might win and we get another trump administration? Yes, probably, but here's the thing: when you look at the last 3 years, and I mean really look at it, have things improved all that much under biden? I, as a queer poc can't say that it has. Both are evil, one just pretends not to be. At this point I see no difference between Trump and Biden. Both don't give a shit about me.

The lesser of 2 evils is still evil, why vote for them? Why would I vote for either of them?

Why would I reward anyone who support genocide and cheers for it? Both Trump and Biden openly do. Their only difference is Biden is a better actor.

If my people were the ones being slaughtered (and they were. For a long long time they were), would I be okay with sitting back and letting these parties walk all over me? No, I don't think I would be.

The fact of the matter is that change does not come fast or easy. These things take time and pressure and a refusal to give in. Voting for Biden after all the horrible things he's done the past couple years is just rewarding a system that is fundamentally broken. You can keep trying to chug along on a broken wheel hurtling you towards doom, or you can take the time to force it to change.

I do believe the younger vote has a big chance to change things, to pressure our government to actually support its people, not just the white ones with money.

Ultimately you get to decide who to vote for. Use your right to vote, don't ignore it and don't waste it by voting for someone you don't actually believe in.

[clovercow8228]

gillion and chip as hadestown!orpheus and eurydice

ok so i was listening to hadestown again because i love it dearly and i am still desperately trying to cope with ep 101 and i was like haha. chip and gillion as orpheus and eurydice. because yknow in the context of the actual myth you could compare it to the whole feywild arc and whatnot.

but then i listened to it more (more than halfway through the first song) and i realized it’s way better (worse) if you have it the other way around with chip as hadestown eurydice and gillion as hadestown orpheus. (there’s another way to read it too but we’ll get to that because it’s a bit more convoluted since. well it’s basically a game theory atp)

i’m going through this song by song because i have never felt happiness or peace ever

Road to Hell: ok so ignoring the gods for now. road to hell does eurydice a little dirty so for this song it’s just orpheus i’m talking about, but hermes describes him as a muse’s son and touched by the gods themselves. ok cool whatever so what Any Way the Wind Blows: “eurydice was a hungry young girl / a runaway from everywhere she’d ever been”? like yeah ok sure cool (side note? “ain’t nobody gonna stick around when the dark clouds roll” and  for chip, mr. constantly both afraid his crew will stay and will leave anytime something bad happens and who literally lost his family in the hole in the sea? silly.) plus for orpheus, “and this poor boy wore his heart on his sleeve / you might say he was naive to the ways of the world / but he had a way with words”. that’s my boy right there

Come Home with Me: most of this is just very funny (”oh, a liar and a player too?”) but “why would i become his wife?” “because he’ll make you feel alive” kinda got me a little tbh. and there’s also the ongoing theme of orpheus working on something to fix the balance of the world, which he can do because he’s touched by the gods.

Livin’ it Up on Top: most of this i’ll talk about when i talk about the gods because woo boy that should be a post of its own with how much psychological damage it caused me. but “there was a girl who had always run away / you might say it was in spite of herself / that this young girl decided to stay” for chip?

All I’ve Ever Known: yeahhhhhhhh nothing real metaphorical about this one. fnc shippers come get yalls juice ig idk that’s really all for that one

A Gathering Storm: title aside, the whole thing is eurydice being concerned about the practical way they will survive the winter while orpheus works on his song to make the world right again.

When the Chips are Down: hand to god i did not think about that pun until now. but yeah this whole song really sold it for me. “help yourself (to hell with the rest), even the one who loves you best / take if you can (give if you must), ain’t nobody but yourself to trust / aim for the heart (shoot to kill), if you don’t do it then the other one will” are interesting enough to think about with chip because basically his whole thing is not turning out like that but there are still some times (mainly early on) that he gets a little closer to those ideas. finally, “cast your eyes to heaven / you get a knife in the back”. put your life in the hands of anything but yourself and you get fucked over.

Wait for Me intro: alright one god i can pitch right now. hermes with the “so, just how far would you go for her? you got a ticket? yeah, i didn’t think so. course there is another way, but nah, i ain’t supposed to say.” being as mean as possible rn? hermes as niklaus would work as absolutely unfortunate as that is. which also makes the “ain’t no compass, brother, ain’t no map” line in the actual song even funnier since it’s hermes describing how to get to the underworld to save eurydice.

Wait for Me: the fates hit orpheus with the self doubt and worry that essentially he’s not the chosen one, part one. don’t really need to explain that one

Way Down Hadestown (Reprise): now hear me out on this. because hades’ whole bit is deals for people’s souls. eurydice signs a deal to give him her soul in exchange for not starving to death, and this song is her realizing what that really means and trying to defend it. which i will admit, makes it seem like it would work for niklaus too. but we’ll come back to that

If it’s True: “is this how the world is? to be beaten and betrayed and then be told that nothing changes?” now this one got me a little, between gillion’s ‘my last sin’ speech and what he said to jay in the block.

Intro to Wait for Me (Reprise): “it’s a trap?” “it’s a trial.” hermes explaining to orpheus and eurydice the conditions of them being allowed to leave. at the end of the day, according to hermes, their success rides on whether they trust each other and themselves. arguably the most recurring theme of riptide.

Doubt Comes In: orpheus doubting that he actually has the power to bring her back, thinking he has been tricked or is too weak to do it. in gillion’s own mind, his fatal flaw is not knowing if he believes he can be the chosen one or protect his friends. and for orpheus, he couldn’t.

a good amount of the songs are missing because i haven’t talked about hades and persephone yet. they’re. a separate issue

[lawain-dimensional-heroes]

BLOG UPDATE

Okay, so this is a post about what's going on thus far.

First off, I'm doing pretty fine so far. I've consume a bucket of chicken wings so I'm hecking full rn. That being said, time to do the actual update part.

Update 1 - how's the ask blog going?

So I had decided at some point to start an ask blog using MMD models to answer asks. I'm going to be honest, after finding out a moot left tumblr (unsure if it's for good or not) a day or so after I decided to start the whole thing it kind of dropped my mood to do it. Don't worry, it's in the back burner, this also includes Maroon's model which I haven't been working on for the same reason. I do however accept asks blog like asks here for Tsukine, Hanaka and maybe Miku too. Just make sure you'll add MMD ask: in the ask and I'll keep that in mind

Update 2 - Current thing on the Dimensional's vocaloid drabble story and potential other drabble story / stories planned

Currently I'm unsure what to do with that. However I am very happy that it allowed me to flex my drabble writing skills and not only that it allowed me to have a story that allows the muses to go do funny shenanigans. It got me so comfortable that I might try and flex some more and write drabbles for other stories. Here's the ones that I am considering:

Maplestory drabbles - I've been meaning to do some of those for quite a while given how I already have an idea of the story planned. I even have a few maplestory muses on this blog with two more going to be added and potentially some more too. There is one drabble in the making but I've put it on the sidelines and never gotten further to it. The drabble was about how Maroon met Jack and Oz. As for Yamato he was going to become a friend in the later stories. A part of it is also because of one or two ships I really want to write at some point but I always wanted to write said ships with moots. But considering how dead the fandom is among other things I think it's better I just do ships on these things myself.

Dimensionals drabbles - I should really and I do mean it: REALLY should do some drabbles regarding main muses-- one or more for Maroon, Hanaka, Tsukine-- maybe some for Akari and the others. Maybe those would be more or less tiny drabbles like I did with the Vocaloid story. But I really am thinking of doing more drabbles-- ones that Hanaka will be a part of cause I have rarely used Hanaka at all and considering that I barely used icons on drabbles if at all, this may be the perfect opportunity to write Hanaka and other muses on this blog.

Update 3 - New muses adding, removing old muse(s) and some changes in the bios

So it's clear to see that I've added 5 new muses and I already have plans to add another muse-- that being the magical girl OC as well as adding the original verses for Mercedes and Tear/Theresa-- or Angelic Buster in her original verse. I'm probably going to add one more magical girl or two-- one of them probably be Miyuki Hoshizora-- or a very canon divergent one for now.

That being said I will remove some muses from this blog-- or at least guest muses that I almost wanted to make a main stay muses: IF, Noire and Nepoty. The Neptunia fandom seems pretty dead and I don't see myself using these muses outside of the dimensionals universe or their original Neptunia verse. The muses I'm going to mention now are on the potentially to be removed list:

Hibiki: I barely use her and as much as I wanted to keep her at ifrst she doesn't have any real role being played on the blog's story. I first wanted to add her to the blog because it might make for an interesting point of view, but considering I barely use her, I might not use her.

Lena Oxton: I swear I was supposed to give her something interesting, but considering I haven't done anything with her thus far, I might as well consider her not a part of this blog. Any ideas however would be nice!

Nanoko: I had an idea to use her to give Hanaka an annoyance to deal with, but like with all these muses I haven't even used her at all so I might remove her from this blog unless she either gets a lot of interactions all of a sudden or I have an idea so fun I have to keep her.

And then there comes one change in the bios of the muses moving forward. I've noticed a lot of the polls regarding muses and their other verse selves that you guys want them to have separate bios. This also includes the other timelines. I always see muses who has versions from other timelines as the same muse, kind of like how the game Elsword treats it, so I'm going to treat almost all of timeline variants as such and put all said variants into one neat bio for the muse, like what I did to Aisha for example. So the Aishas, Elysia and Nafisa are affected. I exclude Nëbel for that because of the fact that neither him or Maroon want to see eachother as the other version of one another regardless on if it's true or not.

So yeah, that's all I have to say. A lot to read perhaps but I had to get this out of my chest. If you've read this far, feel free to leave a like! You don't have to if you don't wanna.

[gothsuguru]

hii <3 i saw your post, and first of all you should be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone and into a new art medium! i know it might seem tedious and frustrating in the beginning, and instant results are way more desirable than slow progress, but please be kind to yourself and understand that practice truly does make perfect! you've got this !!! <3

secondly, there's entirely too many tips to memorise now-a-days, and trying to learn them all is overwhelming, — so i think the best way to improve is by watching youtubers such as @/AngelGanev! his shorter videos where he helps improve beginner artists’ art pieces are educational whilst also being really entertaining at the same time, which (imo) makes it easier for the tips and tricks to stick!

another thing, i know you're probably gonna dislike this Imao cause its a pretty overwhelming suggestion, but studying!! skeletons!!! helpsss! i promise!! think of it like this: if you try to write an essay about a book that you haven't even read, because you lack important contextual knowledge from the book, your essay will lack depth and will be poor quality. the same goes for anatomy!! you can't draw a proportionate body if you lack the knowledge of where the proportions are actually supposed to be (speaking from experience 😭)

this is all i'm writing for now because i don't wanna clog your askbox too much, but please Imk if you have an questions, i'd be happy to help :D please keep on trying, you can do this!!! <3

AHHHHHHHHHH FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE SOOOOOO SWEET & HELPFUL THANK YOU SM!!! and omg that’s too real……. i’m impatient and also Not disciplined so that combo PLUS trying to learn art is beating my ass 😭 but you’re right i should keep at it and just LEARN properly bc i tried to learn ages ago but i never really did the work of Properly Learning anatomy/face shapes/color theory etc but i wanna change that now!!!!!

AND OOOOOH I’LL CHECK HIS VIDEOS OUT!!! THANK YOUUUUUUU <333 i’m a v visual person so hopefully that can help me out! omg…….. tell me why i didn’t even think about skeletons that’s a good idea i should probably learn how to analyze that too 😭 THANK YOU SM FRIEND!!!!

and please feel free to hop into my inbox as much as you want omg i need ALL the help i can get 😭 if you have any other tips i’d love to hear them!! <3 :3 MWAH!!! ILYSM

(& hehehehe since you said i can ask more questions i just may do that rn 🤭 IF YOU DON’T MIND OFC!!!!)

- HOW DO YOU DRAW A HEAD & FACES??? i swear when i do it it’s so ugly and wonky and not at All the face shape i’m trying to go for 😭 same w actual facial features like woah…. Someone Take This Apple Pencil Away From Me

- do you happen to know where i could learn how to draw heads/expressions/bodies? do you rec pinterest or books or videos? bc everything i’ve seen so far isn’t the Style or Vibe i’m going for 😭 basics are so hard too like damn

y’know what since i’m a beginner i’ll just ask these ndndndnd i can learn abt colors/shading/lighting a bit later methinks i just need to get the basics down 😭 BUT TYSM FRIEND AHHHHHH I APPRECIATE YOU SM 🥰🩷

^ me but switch out gojo for yourself :3

[ja3hwa]

ATEEZ HYUNG LINE REACTION TO YOU/THEM CONFESSING

Word count: 1.8k

Genre: a lil Suggestive, Angst, Fluff, Crack

-> Gender Neutral Reader <-

Warnings: Swearing, Crying, Blood, Arguing, Mentions of P*rn. Please let me know if I missed something.

Notes: This is part one of two posts in this reaction. I tried really hard to keep it with them or you confessing in an unorthodox way but it go a little bit tricky. But I hope you enjoy it none the less.

You can read the Maknae line -> Here.

Thank you to my anonymous follower who gave me this idea <3

Hongjoong - Angst, Fluff

It was frustrating, you were also an idol but you didn't work this hard. You just wanted to hang out with your best friend was that too much to ask. But no he was always in his studio or with his group. On his days off, no one could find him. It was like he was avoiding everyone, mostly you and only focused on making the next best soundtrack.

"KIM HONGJOONG!!" You burst the door open, on a mission you get him out of the studio on his day off, (since the other said where to find him).

"Oh y/n, I'm busy please...leave me be." He sounds tired, upset even. Pinching the bridge of his nose, leaning on his hands against the desk in front of him.

"No, I'm not leaving until you come out of this room with me. You've been acting weird for weeks, even your members are worried. I get you're a workaholic but this is next level crazy!" You yell at him, angry, but more worried than anything else. You move into the room more, coming closer to find, it looks like he hasn't slept in a while.

"Joong...you look terrible." You spoke.

"Thanks, totally what I needed to hear."

"I didn't mean Th- I mean, come on let's get you something to eat, maybe a shower too." You try to bring some laughter into the room, chuckling a bit, but hongjoong just groaned in response.

"You know you don't need to tell me what I should do. If I wanted that I'd call my mother. And you know what, I never said you could even come in here, so why don't take yourself and go annoy someone else, god why are we even friends." He threw some song sheets off the table onto the floor with a sweep of his hands. You flinch slightly never seeing him this upset before. Your heart felt like it was breaking, hearing these words, that more or less meant nothing but sleepless nonsense.

"Joong...I-I'm sorry. I'll just go." You back up slowly, just he turned on his swivel chair, grabbing your wrist, pulling you onto him.

"I'm the one who's sorry...it's just, I didn't know what to do, How to be around you, cause I'm so in love with you but you don't love me..." His words sounded broken, tears slipping from him as he holds you on his lap.

"Hongjoong. You're an idiot." You laugh out. Making him look up at you. His eyes were red and puffy, sniffling a little. You grab each side of his face smiling.

"I've loved you since we met, I just didn't want to push it, cause I thoughts you weren't going to see me like that." His heart felt like it stopped. Did his friend, his best friend, confess to his confession.

"C-can I kiss you." He whispers.

"Yes Joongie."

Seonghwa - Lot of Angst, Kinda fluff, Sad hour

Roaming through his bedroom aimlessly, Seonghwa thinks over Hongjoong's words from earlier that day. Foolishly thinking he could outrun you forever after he told your date you were taken and almost beating him up, his heart leaps out of his chest when he suddenly hears you pounce loudly onto his bedroom door. He holds his breath in an attempt to go unnoticed, cursing to himself that you might leave him be.

"Seonghwa! Open the door, or I swear I'll kick it down!!" He hears your voice muffled through the wooden structure as he squeezes his eyes shut before putting his usual calm exterior on and opening the door.

"Hey y—." You barge in and shove your palms against his chest shoving him backwards. He loses his footing, stumbling a little. Opening his mouth to tell you to stop before you give him another shove. He rolls his eyes and grabs your wrists, pulling them apart as he holds them up. Gritting your teeth, you try to pry your hands from him, but to no avail. You have been simmering long enough and the bomb he lit is ready to burst. Sick of your anxiety-ridden brain taking you in loops, you're ready for some clarity from the man in front of you.

"You fucking asshole! Why do you keep doing this! You say to my date I'm taken, then you kiss me! Say it was a mistake and then run away!! You think you can say and do these things like that to me, without me wanting to kill you dead and burn your corpse after?!" You scream in his face and he bites back a tear at your explosion towards him. He never wanted you to feel this way but he also didn't know how to bring himself to come to terms with his own emotions

He sighs and waits for you to stop struggling against him "I never said all of it was a mistake."

"You did"

"I didn't"

"You di— Would you shut up and listen?!" Hwa growls, making you freeze at his harsh tone of voice, closing your mouth as you look at him with wide eyes.

"Not talk to you was a mistake, exposing you to my shit, pushing you away. That was a mistake." Hwa finally drops your hands, rubbing your wrist to soothe your slightly irritated skin from his harsh grip. He notices the discomfort from your arms and runs his hand through his hair in frustration, walking around you and pacing through the room. The room falls silent as both of you assess the situation quietly.

"Why did you do all this Hwa..."

"I don't know I just argh I hate myself right now." He spoke up, eyes connecting with yours before continuing his pacing through the small space. You watch him pace around the room and sit down at the foot of his bed.

Something was keeping you from leaving, from trying to pretend nothing is going on. Maybe it's your usual patience, the patience you always had cause of your parents. The patience that makes you want to fix the situation you have now. The patience that is becoming sick and tired of waiting for Seonghwa to get his shit together and tell you what's going on between you.

"Please be honest with me...Or I'm walking out and never coming back." Your patience snapping, feeling tears streaming down your hot cheeks.

"I-I...Fuck.." He breaks from his pacing walking back over to you, and with a swift movement, he grabs your face, kissing your hard but passionately, as if it was the last thing before death. Tears rolling down your face he too now was crying pulling away his breath was shaking.

"I'm in love with you! I hate myself cause I don't want to put you through being with me cause of my work. I don't want to hurt you, I want you to be happy but now all I've done is hurt you and I hate myself more for it." He whispers, his breath tickling your lips as he spoke.

"I'm in love with you too.."

Yunho - Fluff, Some Arguing

"It's not my fault you lost our map, and now we are lost!" You become way too frustrated being in a car for hours and now you are lost in some forest that you have no clue what the name is.

"Well, I'm not the one that used both of our phones batteries up to catch pokèmon!!" Yunho grips the steering wheeling, driving under 20, trying to find a sign or anything that might help you find your way. You huff out looking out the front window, pouting at the situation.

"I just wanted to catch IgglyBuff..." Your voice was small, almost whispering with your arms crossed. Yunho takes his eyes off the dirt road to look at you. His heart skips at your pout and cute face.

"Ashhh Don't pull that face, it'll make me fall in love with you more...." He chuckles out stopping the car, huffing himself, his back hitting his chair.

"Y-you love me..." Your voice cracks out, suddenly sitting up with red blush flooding your cheeks. Yunho turns to you, giving you a smile. Leaning closer to you, he peaks your lips.

"Of course I do. Now I'm going to get the phone charges out of the bags in the back. You can try catching you uglypoof or whatever when we plug them in." He giggles getting out of the car, leaving you flustered and embarrassed for arguing...

"IT'S CALLED A IGGLYBUFF!!!"

Yeosang - Fluff, Crack, Protective!Yeo [Bloody]

The day was warm, but the light wind making it perfect hoodie weather. Yeosang rocking a baggy skater look, he pushes off his board, rolling down into the bowl before doing a kick-off trick landing onto the edge before placing his feet on the ground.

"See easy." He smiles at the nervous you, basically feeling your body shaking uncontrollably.

"No...I'm going to die Yeo...This is terrible.." You groan holding your skateboard he gifted you a week ago before you finally said yes to go skating with him.

"Come on I'll hold you, just start small on this long road patch." He tries to calm you down, gesturing to the orange and pink pavement that stretches a great length. Perfect fit for beginners. Walking over you step onto the board, luckily learning that pretty easily. Yeosang stands on your right side. Letting your hands rest on his shoulders. You slowly kick-off, starting to roll slowly along the concrete.

"See it's fun." He laughs having one of his hands rest on your waist giving you a little bit of extra balance.

"Yes, I guess your right." You start feeling a little more confident, seeing why Yeosang would always be skating, it was actually quite fun. He suddenly slowed his walk while you started to go faster. Soon he let go of you and you were off on your own.

"Yeah!! You doing it!!" He cheered happily that you were doing it on your own. Your happiness soon fell short as some asshole that was skating too fast for anyone's liking suddenly came riding past you, hitting you off the board, hitting the ground hard.

"What the fuck watch where you goin' bitch." He scoffs, picking up his board. You sit on the floor seeing your hands and knees are bleeding, getting scratched up from the pavement. Yeosang quickly came to your rescue standing between you and the guy.

"Hey, why don't you apologise to them asshole." Yeo bit at them.

"Oh, ahha gotta get your boyfriend to help you defend yourself." The male spat a cock remark at you.

"What if they do. At least they have someone that loves them unlike you sad lonely waste of space that probably spend their time watching cheap porn and crying over the fact they'll never get laid." Yeosang's words echoed throughout the little populated skate park. The man dubbed asshole stood shocked looking over at what could only be his friends, running away on their own skateboards and scooters, not wanting to mess with Yeosang.

"Whatever..." The guy scoff, also running in the same direction as his few friends, leaving the view of the skate park in a matter of seconds. Yeosang took a big breath, calming his anger before immediately dropping to your level to aid you in your cuts. Grabbing his backpack that has a first aid kit that Seonghwa made him just for these types of occasions.

"Boyfriend huh?" You broke the silence as he dabs a sanitary wipe over your wound.

"It has a nice ring don't you think." He jokes not looking up from your bloody knees.

"Yes, yes it does."

-

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[nerves-nebula]

hi your "hunter escapes and has a fun little camping moment" au is living rent free in my brain rn, please Please share some more thoughts and rambles about it!

ANON PLEASE- (affectionate)

you gotta understand I was not lying when I said I have 5 pages of a google doc worth of comic ideas. Unfortunately it's still kind of a mess and I'm still sorting out some of the basic dynamics of this AU. I also like the idea of keeping most of my notes and making them into their own comics/posts so idk how I feel about just saying stuff in a list AND YET.

So here's some stuff I think I can say outside of a comic?? I’ll still probably make some of these into comics/doodles, but anyway I hope this is what you were looking for.

Hunter:

Hunter gets very into studying wild magic up close, something he wasn't allowed to do much before. But now he lives in the forest surrounded by wild magic. Because of this I plan for him to discover a few glyphs on his own, like Luz does, mainly the plant one. But you’ll see how that goes later ;)

He's also still trying to cure his uncles curse. He insists he's not going to go back to Belos, but if pressed on why he's searching for a cure for a man he plans to never see again, he'll get very defensive and angry. Sometimes it's not as easy as "I'm leaving and never coming back." sometimes you still wanna help the people who hurt you :P and THAT one is from personal experience

Hunter takes a while to really get into the whole “I’m on my own and can do whatever I want” thing, but I plan for him to mess around with his presentation once he gets more comfortable.

Rascal helps him change his eye bandages! I haven’t decided if his eye is damaged yet or just the area around it tho so stay tuned.

Hunter will often assign himself “missions” to go on because he doesn’t know what else to do with his free time. He knows he doesn’t technically have any deadlines or stuff like that anymore but he gets stressed not having a goal to strive towards so to cope he just.. gives himself arbitrary goals !

Funfact! This is not the first time Hunters pissed Belos off so bad that he’s fled the castle for a moment. But it IS the first time he stays away for this long. 

Home Hunter AU subscribes to the “Hunter is the grimwalker/a clone of Belos’ brother” theory just for extra angst. I kind of like the idea that he wasn’t even a big part of Belos’ plans though, just that Belos saw a chance to “Bring back” his brother and went for it fsdfsfsdf.

Hunter is terrified of relying on someone too much because no matter how much he trusts them, they could always kick him out. And he’d rather kick himself out before they get the chance. Boys still got issues, is what I’m saying. 

Because Hunter lives in the woods he starts to get a bit... Feral. People will not see him for a week only to realize he’s been not showering or changing his clothes. He was never the most normally-socialized kid but now he’s in the habit of hissing at people the way he does at wild animals that encroach on his tent.

Hunter is very possessive of his belongings (he has so few) and will tackle you if you try to take something from him without asking. He also hoards food and has trouble sharing it, but he feels a bit more embarrassed about this habit than others so he tries to hide it.

Luz:

Luz is basically the first person Hunter reaches out to after living in the woods for a few weeks, and she’s the only one he trusts, at first. 

She offers to let Hunter stay at the owl house a LOT, and sometimes he does :D ! But usually only if it’s raining or he has an injury he can’t heal himself, or if they’re just hanging out. 

Luz’s Super Secret Sad Boy plan is to try to trick Hunter into staying at the owl house for extended periods of time, so that he eventually doesn’t want to go back to the forest. She brings it up A LOT. This has yet to work though, because Hunter feels very uncomfortable about not understanding their family dynamic. That and it makes him feel a bit worse about his own. (kind of like when you go to your friends house and their parents are nice, so you cry afterwards. But to the extreme that he has trouble relaxing cause he’s viscerally aware of how much he doesn’t feel like he fits in.)

Luz tried to teach Hunter glyphs but he brushed it off. 1. because he’s still nervous about wild magic lmao but 2. because he didn’t think he needed to learn them since he has Rascal. He only starts looking into them when he personally finds them in nature on his own. After that point he starts eavesdropping on Lillith and Eda’s glyph lessons and hijinks ensue.

Lillith:

I’m actually super down for the idea that Lillith would bond with goldie in some way. They both know what Belos is like so they can bitch about him together!

I’m also a fan of the “Lillith regrets calling Hunter a brat” idea. Idk if she’s canonically seen his face or anything but I like to think that, at least NOW, she sees him for what he really is. A poor little meow meow. 

That being said don’t think that Mom!Eda is out for the count. They’re  ✨ co-parents  ✨ and I like to think they bring different things to the table when it comes to caring about Hunter. Raine might show up eventaully too :D. They still can’t get him to move out of the woods tho.

Belos:

Not much to say about him and his plans yet, but what usually happens when Hunter runs off after upsetting Belos is that he comes back a few hour/days later with something to win back Belos’ favor. So the emperor isn’t concerned at first, but then a week passes, and then another. 

In this AU Belos is very protective of Hunter but in a weird, possessive, fucked up way. Basically, he’s convinced himself that nothing is really a threat to him or Hunter (since he trained Hunter personally and believes in his nephews abilities). He was never afraid of Hunter being killed or leaving him cause he never considered those things as possibilities. So when Hunter doesn’t come back and is seen actively avoiding him, he goes a little apeshit? But like in a subtle way? Like, he’s losing it but quietly lmao. BASICALLY I do have plan for Belos to attempt to do a lot of stuff to catch/coerce Hunter, and maybe he succeeds! We’ll see.

That should be enough for now!

important to note that a lot of this could change on a whim since I’m still thinking about all of it but y e ah these are some things I’ve mused about.

also I hope this makes sense, I’m not really a writer so I just kinda type it how I talk it I guess.

[traincat]

I feel like I've read a ton, but I'm honestly still pretty new to comics rn. That being said... What is one more day? Ik we don't like it and it happened a while ago, but that's about it [,=

Time for Spider-Man History With Traincat: Highly Controversial Storylines! And that feeling is totally normal with comics with huge canons -- you can read a ton and still have some fairly big blindspots in your understanding of the total picture. That being said, this is kind of a big one, both in terms of Spider-Man history/canon and in terms of how Spider-Man fandom functions. I would say probably no other storyline has had quite as much impact on how the fandom views and interacts with the source material as One More Day/Brand New Day. It's been the Wild West out here ever since it happened. (Which was in 2007, so like, yes, fairly long ago, especially when you look at how Spider-Man canon has evolved since, but in the grand scheme of things, also kind of recent. One More Day is not old enough to rent a car.)

So when people talk about Spider-Man's One More Day, they're usually actually talking about two related arcs: One More Day and Brand New Day. For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to be covering both. For the sake of transparency, I am going to admit that I think One More Day, as a self-contained story, is good, actually. This is controversial! I admit that! But I stand by my stupid opinions on this blog, for some reason. I think One More Day when you examine it on its own, by which I mean you ignore the decade and a half worth of canon that came after it, as a Spider-Man story and as a PeterMJ-centric story holds up under scrutiny and that people who don't like it don't like complicated love stories and might actually throw their own mothers under buses. No offense to the OMD haters. Little bit of offense to the OMD haters. Brand New Day, which is the continuation of One More Day, on the other hand -- largely bad. Very largely bad.

But let's backtrack. One More Day is a four issue crossover storyline that takes place directly after Civil War, during which Iron Man and Captain America got divorced and divvied up the superhero community and Spider-Man made some startlingly bad decisions and made a fugitive out of himself and his family in a manner that got Aunt May shot, and Spider-Man: Back in Black (Amazing Spider-Man #539–543) which examines Peter's actions immediately after Aunt May is shot and ends with him humiliating the Kingpin in front of an entire prison. One More Day consists of Amazing Spider-Man #544 -> Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #24 -> Sensational Spider-Man v2 #41 -> Amazing Spider-Man #545. In One More Day, Aunt May is dying, all of Peter's efforts to save her have thus far failed, and, consumed by guilt, he is rapidly running out of time. Approached by Mephisto, a literal demon from hell, Peter is offered a deal: Aunt May will live -- and Peter's identity, which was previously revealed to the world at large during Civil War, will once again be hidden from the memories of all but a select few -- if Peter trades him his marriage to Mary Jane. Peter and Mary Jane struggle with this, but eventually both agree to the deal. The clock strikes twelve, the deal is done, and Peter and Mary Jane's marriage fades into history.

(ASM #545) A reasonably simple premise for a story that caused so many problems -- most, I would argue, not actually the original story's fault. So obviously, this was an unpopular move -- Peter and Mary Jane had for a long time been a fan favorite Marvel couple, and in a fictional universe where most relationships are doomed as soon as they begin, the enduring Spider-Marriage was sacred ground. And then, with a snap of its fingers, it was gone: Peter wakes up in Aunt May's house, no longer married, with Mary Jane out of the picture. (She would not return to the book on any sort of consistent basis for over 50 issues.) In the wake of One More Day began Brand New Day, which is basically what it sounds like: a promised "brand new day" of "exciting" Spider-Man content and a publishing schedule where Amazing Spider-Man came out three times a month. (Which sounds good on paper but I think in practice caused more problems than it created good storylines.) Peter, newly single again, had new love interests! And also Harry Osborn was alive again for some reason! I generally like Harry's post-BND stories so that part's fine with me.

But overall? Brand New Day is a mess. It knows it wants to tread new and exciting ground with Peter -- tell new stories! ensnare new readers! make them fork out for a book three times a month. -- but it doesn't know what those stories should be. Readers who were invested in Peter and Mary Jane's relationship -- a major facet of Spider-Man comics for decades at that point -- felt rightfully betrayed that the marriage could be so easily traded in and that Mary Jane herself, perhaps the second most important figure in Spider-Man comics after Peter, could be tossed aside. From a personal point of view, I think Brand New Day fails in large part because it abandons what has always made Spider-Man such a compelling series, and that's the mix of Peter's personal life with his vigilante life. BND sees Peter with new friends, new jobs, new love interests, etc -- it is very much a brand new day! But it isn't a better day compared to the stories that came before it. I do like some post-BND stories, especially American Son (ASM #595-599) and Grim Hunt (ASM #634-637), but compared to pre-BND where I think the majority of canon is good, it's a very lacking body of work that is hurt by the way it divorced itself from the PeterMJ marriage as Spider-Man's central relationship.

"But Traincat, I thought you said you liked One More Day?" Yeaaaaah. I do. This is why I keep saying I like One More Day on its own merits, and not on the merits of the stories it opened the doors for. I like a good romantic tragedy in fiction, and the way Peter and Mary Jane's final scene in One More Day plays out is beautiful. I like the idea of Peter caught in this impossible situation, being asked to choose between two women he loves more than his own life. A really common criticism I see leveled against One More Day is that Peter should have chosen his relationship with Mary Jane over May's life, which is -- okay, I think it's weird that people keep insisting on this, not in the least because by asking Peter to sacrifice his aunt's life they're essentially demanding he commit a callous, out of character act in order to further his own interests. It's also weird because the thing is, Peter already chose Mary Jane over May -- that's what gets them into this situation. It's literally in the scene where May is shot:

(ASM #538) When the gun goes off, Peter's spider-sense kicks in, and he covers Mary Jane, leaving May in the path of the bullet. He does choose Mary Jane over May, regardless of whether he realized what he was doing. And that's why he can't make that choice a second time. His actions in One More Day do make sense for him as a character, whether or not any individual reader likes them, and Mary Jane's actions make sense, too -- after all, she's the one who ultimately tells Mephisto that they agree to the deal when Peter can't bring himself to voice it.

A lot of people also like to nitpick One More Day by going, well, why could (x) or (y) with life saving powers save Aunt May which is like -- yeah, I guess, but if we're going to ask that about this specific comic book near death setup, you kind of have to do it with every single one, and I'm not going to stake every single moment of comic book drama on whether or not that gold kid from the X-Men was busy at the time. Comics are soap operas in flimsy paper form: serialized longform storytelling that relies heavily on melodrama. Sometimes you have to go with things. Sometimes you sell your marriage to the devil. Stuff happens. That in and of itself doesn't make One More Day a bad story -- and while some people blame the Spider-Marriage's dissolution entirely on One More Day, I think that's a little shortsighted when you look at the history of Spider-Man since the turn of the century. It's clear -- and Marvel themselves have been perhaps a little too open about this -- that Marvel in the past few decades has had trouble with the direction they want to take Spider-Man. They WANTED Spider-Man to appeal to a distinctly youthful audience that they didn't think they were actually reaching -- understandable, considering that Marvel nearly went bankrupt around 2000 and was saved by Ultimate Spider-Man, an out of main continuity series which retold Spider-Man from the beginning and focused heavily on Peter as a teen -- but the problem was Spider-Man in the main continuity was at that point in canon a happily married man who was pushing the dreaded 30 whether or not they wanted to admit that. This is also why Marvel has continually pivoted away from Spider-Man having kids, because they feared that making him a dad would age him too much and make him unrelatable to their coveted audience of Teens. (This is also why almost every new Spider-Man property, especially the live action movies, perpetually stick him back into high school, despite that occupying a very small slice of 616 canon.) So around the year 2000, they started trying things in relation to the Spider-Marriage, which was viewed as a major problem -- after all, what's more adult than being married and liking your wife. First, they had Mary Jane presumed dead. Then, they had Mary Jane and Peter separate. Then, when Mary Jane and Peter had only recently gotten back together, One More Day struck. If One More Day specifically hadn't gone the way it had, it's pretty clear that the Spider-Marriage was going to go one way or another -- it's a little bit of a shame it happened when it did, because OMD is the end of J Michael Straczynski's run, and JMS wrote a really beautiful Peter and MJ relationship. But Marvel as a company and especially editor in chief at the time Joe Quesada viewed Peter and Mary Jane's relationship as a major problem in how they wanted to portray Spider-Man and thought that striking the relationship from the books would allow them more freedom in their portrayal of him as younger and more relatable to their Desired Audience of people who I guess really wanted to see Peter sleep with characters who weren't Mary Jane.

(ASM #546. Younger! Fresher! Less attached! Kissing random women in the club!)

The problem with One More Day has always been in the follow through -- from the content of Brand New Day to the pacing of events to the fact that Marvel withheld key information for such a long time that it allowed misinformation to thrive. After all, what does it MEAN to trade Peter and Mary Jane's marriage to the devil? It altered the events of canon in Peter and the majority of other characters' memories so that the marriage didn't exist, but it left people wondering -- did the relationship as they remembered it existed? How much of Spider-Man canon was altered? And the answers didn't come for over 100 issues of Amazing Spider-Man. One Moment In Time or OMIT (Amazing Spider-Man #638-641), which revealed that while Peter and Mary Jane never got married in the altered canon they did continue their long committed relationship up until just after Civil War, was published in 2010, so essentially readers were hung out to dry without answers for three years. That's a long time to string people along, but not as long as it took Marvel to confirm that the popular fan theory that Mary Jane retained her memories of the original timeline as part of her own deal with Mephisto was also true, which happened this year. I would say, at least from my perspective, a lot of the frustration doesn't come from the individual One More Day storyline so much as how Marvel has continually dragged out the aftermath, using the promise of a Spider-Marriage return to keep fans on the hook. Which is why One More Day continually comes up in discussion of current Spider-Man, because Spencer's run has relied very heavily on imagery from that period with a serious question of whether or not there actually was going to be payoff, something which is still up in the air.

This has been Spider-Man History With Traincat, brought to you by anonymice like you.

[tricktolife]

Do you have any plans on finishing your fic bud?

(I've read 5-7 unfinished lapidot fics and I feel like I went through hell and back everytime-)

Also gosh finally an author that leaves their socials in the fic-

Last time I searched for an author of a fic

It felt like I was trying to look for the author of the journals who is stuck in another dimension- (GF ref)

[NEW UPDATE HERE] for u <3

but yea I should probably talk about this since people still seem to be interested in my fic huh?

the short answer is yeah, id LOVE to finish this fic but updates are probably going to be really infrequent and far apart from each other cause i dont have as much motivation to write as i used to BUT i might write up some notes on where i want this fic to go (bc rn i have no idea lmao) and that might motivate me to actually finish it!

so just like?? keep a lookout for updates i guess? ill try make a post here whenever i upload a new chapter if that helps :)

[ri-ahhh]

cake for dessert

Grayson wants a slice of MJ for dessert on a rainy day

4.8k

warnings: badly written smut

A/N: one of the MJ things I promised to upload. It’s storming like crazy here and this is all I want in life rn so I figured this was the one to post.

***

A chilly spring rain has descended over LA out of nowhere, as MJ discovers with surprise when she and her best friend Lainey step out of their final store at The Grove. That Saturday had started off warm and sunny, a perfect weekend day to spend out and about, but the storm rolling in is suddenly derailing her and Lainey’s plans for a chill afternoon at the beach.

“Well, shit,” Lainey remarks, glancing up at the dark clouds looming in the not-so-distant skyline.

“Right?” MJ concurs. She scrunches her nose and watches Lainey pout as they consider what else they might do with their Saturday. With MJ still busy working hard at her new job and, admittedly, being wrapped up in the fading newness of Grayson, she and Lainey haven't had much time to spend together. Especially considering her friend’s own relationship and hectic schedule.

A fat raindrop surprises her by landing on her nose, and both of them giggle as the sudden light sprinkle becomes more steady. They hurry down the walkway to the parking garage until they find MJ’s car, hurrying inside and slamming the doors just in time for the rain to start really coming down.

“Looks like we’re going home, unless you want to fight the LA drivers who have no idea what they're doing in the rain to go to a movie or something,” MJ jokes, selecting her favorite rainy day playlist full of Tame Impala, Bon Iver, Rex Orange County, and the like to serenade them on the way back to her apartment.

Lainey laughs. She’s also from out of state and shares MJ’s anecdotal opinion of the LA natives. “Yeah, as much as I want to stay and cuddle and feed each other takeout, I think for that reason I’m gonna have to head out when we get to your place. It’ll take me an extra hour to get home because of this.”

Now it’s MJ’s turn to playfully but also somewhat seriously jut out her lower lip in an impression of Lainey’s earlier pout. “Who’s gonna dangle pad Thai noodles into my mouth, then?”

“I don’t know, babe. Don’t you have a boyfriend or something now?” Lainey smirks, snatching MJ’s phone from her lap and waving it in her face so her lock screen illuminates, an accidental candid she had captured of said boyfriend with that beautiful smile shining right at her.

“It’s not the same,” whines MJ, entering the rapidly congesting highway. “First of all, he’s busy most of the day. Second, he makes it sexy, whereas you’re just plain cute. I don’t think I’m in the mood to be sexy today.”

That was true, for sure. Her outfit consisted of a pair of black leggings, one of Gray’s t-shirts that hung off her body shapelessly, and a baseball cap to hide the fact that she wore no makeup. Between her stuffy nose from the cold she’s fighting and the lack of sleep from the night before, she couldn’t be bothered that morning to try any harder.

Lainey, who had been listening while checking the visor mirror to see if her mascara had survived the rain, feigns offense. “Wow, bitch, are you saying I’m not sexy?”

“Boo, you’re sooo sexy. Grayson should probably thank you for half of my skills based on your tips over the years, now that I think about it,” MJ grins, causing Lainey to cackle.

Their girl talk continues the rest of the surprisingly short car ride back to MJ’s apartment building. MJ pulls up behind Lainey’s car and hugs her bestie over the console.

“Love you. Text me when you’re home so I know you survived the drive.”

“Will do. Love you, babe.”

MJ makes sure Lainey is in her car before driving into her covered spot. The tiredness had been real before, but the pure exhaustion hit her out of nowhere as her mind processes that she’s now home. She’s suddenly looking forward to nothing more than ordering said takeout, soaking in a too-hot bath, and watching The Hobbit series all afternoon.

She shuts the door to her apartment behind her with a sigh and trudges into her room, tossing her bags on her bed. Desperate to start the second half of her day of relaxation, it takes her all of 30 seconds to strip down and make her way into the bathroom. As the soaking tub fills, she selects a Lush bath bomb and bubble bar from the basket on the counter.

With a last-minute face mask applied, hair piled on top of her head to keep it dry, and New Girl ready to play on her phone, she’s just settling into the water with a light moan when the phone begins buzzing on the ledge of her soaking tub. She dries her hands and smiles when she sees Grayson’s name on the FaceTime call.

“Hi, baby,” she answers once his handsome face fills the screen, scooping some of the foamy bubbles closer to her chest so they fluff out cloud-like from her skin.

Grayson grins and takes a second to admire at her. “Hi, sweetheart. You look so fucking cute.”

MJ rolls her eyes but flushes and smiles appreciatively. “If you say so. How’s filming going?”

He puffs his cheeks and blows out the air slowly, running a hand through his hair. “Good, but it’s been a long day. E and I both decided to call it quits early; we’re both way too strung out on no sleep and anxiety to get much else done, especially now that the weather’s gone to shit.”

“I’m sorry, Bear, I know you both wanted to get everything wrapped tonight,” she laments with him, wishing she could comfort him with a kiss to his plump pink lips. “I’m kind of in the same boat. Lainey and I couldn't go to the beach, and between this cold I have and the fact it’s getting harder and harder to sleep without you, I’m so tired.”

Grayson smiles at her in that way he reserves only for her — soft, crooked, his hazel eyes sparkling in the center and crinkling just the tiniest bit at the corners — especially at the sound of her little pet name for him.

“Can I come over? I’ve been thinking about you all day, but I didn't want to cut into your time with Lainey. I just need to be with you.”

“Yes please,” MJ agrees with a sniffle. “As long as you’re the big spoon while we have a couch day. That’s about all I’m gonna be good for today, I think.”

“Of course,” he grins, getting into his car. “Are you gonna be my little cuddle bug all afternoon, Peach?”

She hears an exasperated ‘oh my God’ in the background and can practically see Ethan’s eye-roll out of frame.

“Yeah,” she coos back to her boyfriend, then, “hi, E.”

“Hi, MJ,” he grunts. As she’s naked underneath the clouds of bubbles, Grayson doesn’t angle the phone towards his brother, but she can still hear his voice. “You know, he’s already a cornball most of the time, but you really bring it out of him in droves, dude.”

Grayson doesn’t even react to Ethan, his gaze fixated instead on MJ through the phone. “Good. I sleep better with you in my arms, too.”

“Ugh,” Ethan complains. “Where are my fucking AirPods?”

She does, indeed, hear rustling, presumably from the older twin, but she chooses to ignore him as well. “Can you pick up Thai or Veggie Grill or something on your way over?”

“Oooh, yeah, either of those sound awesome. I’m starving,” Grayson agrees. “I’ll have to drop E off at home first and hopefully traffic wont be too bad both ways. Be there in an hour?”

“Sounds good. Thank you, baby,” she says quietly with a sweet, content smile.

He winks at her, and his voice drops a couple of notches. “No problem, Peach. As long as you’re my dessert.”

Her body rushes with heat, and not from the temperature of the water she’s soaking in. Before she can answer, Ethan groans louder than ever.

“Oh my God, dude, I fucking heard that! Can you keep your cheesy sex talk at zero while we’re literally right next to each other?” His voice suddenly picks up even louder so she can hear him. “MJ, I can’t believe you still let him fuck you when he says shit like that.”

“He makes up for it with the other things his mouth can do,” she retorts, winking at Grayson. Her giggles join Grayson’s howls of laughter and taunts at his brother, who apparently is very much done with the conversation. “Alright, I love you both. Drive safe, please.”

True to his word, Grayson shows up a little over an hour later with a bag of Veggie Grill in one hand and a Starbucks medicine ball in the other. MJ absolutely despises hot tea, and he knows it, but he also knows she won’t be able to resist the soothing warmth of it — especially considering he took the time and effort to get it for her.

He smiles at the sight of her cocooned in the plush, cozy fabric of her favorite blanket and leans down to give her a quick kiss. He hands her the drink, which she does indeed accept with warm eyes and a soft heart. She takes a sip and lets the hot liquid coat her scratchy throat as he plops down next to her with a sigh and sets the food on her coffee table. Grayson cups her cheeks to draw her in for another kiss — lingering, closed-mouthed pecks this time.

“Hi,” he says, smiling and dropping one to her red-tipped nose for good measure.

“Hi,” she whispers, her voice hoarse from mouth-breathing more and more throughout the afternoon. “Sorry I look so gross. This cold is kicking my ass the later it gets. You’re probably going to catch it.”

“First of all: worth it. Second: are you kidding? This is my favorite MJ,” he assures, peppering little kisses all across her forehead as he draws her in to his chest. Her hair is in the same messy bun from her bath, her glasses are on, and she’s dressed in her old college crewneck sweatshirt, boy-short Calvins, and fuzzy socks… “No one gets to see you like this except me. All fresh-faced and beautiful and undone. All mine.”

“Mmm,” MJ hums, snuggling into him and sniffling. “We’ll see how you feel when I’m snoring like a 300 pound grandpa in a little bit because I can’t breathe out of my nose.”

“Okay, but I don’t see how that’ll be different from any other night.” She draws back and smacks him on the arm playfully, scoffing incredulously. He just barks out a laugh and kisses the frown off her lips before distributing their late lunch between them.

They make comfortable small talk while The Office plays quietly in the background, mixing with the patter of rain on the large windows. A fuzzy warm ball settles in the pit of her stomach that has her feeling almost heady at the simple intimacy of the moment.

MJ finishes first. She takes off her glasses and places them on the coffee table next to her tea so she can curl into a ball and nuzzle into Gray’s shoulder. He kisses the top of her head affectionately and finishes his meal in silence while they watch the antics of Michael Scott and gang for the millionth time. Eventually his empty plate joins hers and he opens his burly arms to gather her in his embrace, lying down and bringing her with him.

Grayson chuckles when she fully climbs on top of him so she’s straddling his hips and hugging him with all of her limbs like a koala would a tree, her nose buried into the five o’clock shadow on his neck. He makes sweeping passes up and down her back. “Needy today, sweetheart?”

“A little,” MJ mumbles, eyelids already feeling heavy, even more so when he fixes the oversized blanket around the both of them. He smells so good, feels so solid and warm, his breath tickling her ear soothingly. They FaceTime every day, but their crazy lives have made it where this is the first time in days that they’ve seen each other in person. “Missed you. We both work too much.”

He lets out a little hum of agreement, sighing when he feels her lips pucker to dot baby kisses on his bronze skin. His hands stroke up and down her back comfortingly. “I missed you, too. E and I should have just one more day of shooting before we’ll be home more to work on editing and stuff with the team.”

“I’ll be in Seattle most of next week for a new client recruit,” she reminds, recognizing the inexplicit invitation. “Otherwise I’d come over and work remote with you.”

“Ugh, that’s right,” Gray laments, sighing. “Kiss me. Please?”

MJ gives him a lazy smile when she feels his fingers tilt her chin up. Their makeout is slow and simple and just what the both need, reconnecting after days and lives apart.

A few minutes go by until MJ groans a little and sits up in his lap with a sigh, a string of saliva connecting their lips before breaking with a snap.

“I can’t breathe laying down like that. Or just out of my nose,” she pouts. One of her hands plays with his hair while the other smooths down his t-shirt over his chest where she had rumpled it by laying on him.

Grayson grips her hips and follows her up, hugging her tightly around the middle with those huge, burly arms. “Since you can’t sleep anyways…” he looks at her, and she cocks an eyebrow, her lips quirking questioningly. “Can I have my dessert now? You can sit up on the couch. And no mouth-to-mouth required.”

MJ chuckles and wraps her arms around his broad shoulders, biting her lip as she considers his request. As much as she wants Grayson in any capacity most of the time, today is one of those days where sex just isn't on the table for her.

That being said, can she really resist that tongue? Those lips?

Before she can answer, he continues. “I know you don’t feel good, so I’ll understand if you just aren't up for anything today. But I’m not expecting you to reciprocate at all. I’ve just been wanting… like, basically needing to eat your pussy all week. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for so days.” He traces her jawline with his nose until his lips reach that little spot right behind the hinge and just below her ear, where he licks and nibbles until her hips start shifting in his lap of their own accord. “Please?”

Well, how the fuck is she going to say no to that?

She can’t, and knows he can sense her giving in when he starts to turn them around so she’s reclined against the back of the couch. Grayson grins while he arranges the blankets and pillows around her to get her as comfy as possible.

She watches him fuss over her with loving eyes, but wants to make sure he really is okay with the arrangement, too. “Are you sure? I don’t want to blue ball you. And I can speak from experience that that rug isn't a fun place to be on your knees for an extended period of time.”

Gray smirks at her and plants one more kiss to her lips before sinking down her body, snatching a couple of stray pillows to cushion his knees. “One problem solved. And don't worry about any chance of blue balls; it’s been way too fucking long since I’ve done this, and I’ll be lucky if I don't cum in my pants before I even get you to your first one.”

“Oh, so I’m in for more than one orgasm today?” MJ smiles back down at him and lifts her hips so he can drag her panties down her toned legs, placing her feet on the edge of the couch so she’s nice and open for him once he had the fabric tossed behind him somewhere. “I’d say that was big talk if I didn't know you could back it up.”

She knows he likes a challenge, and combined with his love for being praised and her bare pussy exposed to him at long last, she feels like she’s got a little bit of an upper hand here.

“Always,” he murmurs.

His lips start at the inside of her knee, working their way up to her inner thigh, across her mound to nuzzle in the little patch of hair she hadn't bothered to trim down between waxes, before trekking down the opposite leg. MJ knows his goal is to build up the anticipation for them both, and he’s succeeding; she can hear his breathing intensify as he tries to take in her scent, and she can feel the wetness beginning to leak out of her without so much as a lick from him.

Finally, he brings his hand up to trace her smooth lower lips, glancing up at her with warm yet lustful eyes as he takes in how his teasing is affecting her. MJ gives it right back, sneaking a hand under her oversized sweatshirt to play with her breast. It drives him absolutely crazy seeing her touch herself, but also not being able to see. If she didn't know any better, she would say sometimes he was more obsessed with her boobs than her actual vagina when they get down.

When his eyes turn dark, she grins and uses her free hand to rake through his hair and pull him towards her pussy while simultaneously pinching her nipple just the way she likes. Grayson growls and turns his attention back where she’s directing him, finally parting her with his middle and index fingers to expose her clit. He places a quick kiss directly to it, causing MJ to gasp and grip his dark locks tighter.

He gives it a more sensual smooch and pulls back to watch more of her juices trickle out of her until he can’t resist really getting to work anymore. His moan vibrates against her when his tongue swipes through the sweet wetness, trailing it to her clit with his mouth and giving the nub a gentle suckle before slipping his tongue back to her entrance. MJ lets out little whimpers of bliss as he makes out with her pussy, his tongue reaching as far inside her as it can, wiggling around and slurping down everything that comes out of her.

She lets him eat her out with no real purpose, thoroughly enjoying the constant stimulus of his lips and teeth and tongue without a driving need to make her cum behind it. Her hands flit between stroking his hair comfortingly, to playing with her breasts, to digging her nails across his clothed shoulders.

“Feels so good,” MJ whispers while she watches him work. Her fingers are combing gently through his hair once again to push the dark strands off of his forehead just in time to see his eyes flit open to meet her own.

“Tastes so good,” Grayson growls back, taking a moment to sit on his haunches and get a thorough look at her spread out for him. Her pussy is swollen and wet, the insides of her thighs bare the faint markings of his teeth, and her face is pure bliss even as she sniffs and coughs a bit. “You okay?”

MJ nods. It’s sweet of him to check, but all she wants now is his face back in her pussy. She bites her lip and one of her heels, still clad in a fuzzy sock, digs into the middle of his broad back to push him in. Grayson smirks darkly and follows her lead, his lips immediately suctioning around her plump little clit.

“Fuck…” MJ moans. Her voice is raspier than usual and, like everything else about her today, goes straight to his dick, which throbs untouched in his grey sweats.

He starts working her over with purpose now, determined to get her to cum in the next 30 seconds. He knows he can do it even if she hadn't started chanting, “like that, like that, don’t fucking stop…”

Her moans reach peak levels, as loud as she can be with her sore throat, and her clit throbs on his tongue. Her back arches off the couch and her hands dive fully in his thick hair now to hold him to her, her heel still pressing against his spine doing the same.

Grayson groans and has to remove one of his hands from her hips to reach into his boxers and squeeze his dick hard enough to stave off his own orgasm. He slips two fingers of his other hand in her dripping pussy to give her something to clench around, which doesn’t help his attempt at not cumming literally in his pants when he feels her walls gripping his digits like a vice.

“Baby…” she whines as he brings her down with little kitten licks on her pulsing clit, her thighs quivering around his head. Grayson hums and nuzzles into that delicate skin until the muscles beneath stop trembling, and the flutters around his middle and ring fingers have ceased. He never takes his eyes off her face — eyes closed, mouth agape, cheeks flushed. Beautiful and dismantled because of him.

Once he feels she (and, frankly, he himself) have calmed just enough to be able to take more, he starts to press and curl the fingers inside her. MJ whines softly as the build picks up again, which turns into shrieking when he wraps his swollen lips around her clit again and sucks the nub sharply into his mouth. Between the sloppy wetness of his mouth and the way he applies pressure just right on her g-spot, it takes all of a minute for her to fall apart again. She marvels, not for the first time, at how fucking good he is at this, how well he knows her body.

‘Always’ is right.

Grayson sits back, removes his hand and mouth from her and growls at the sight before him while he pushes against the backs of her thighs. So much for sitting up, as she’s now practically on her back, but neither of them are complaining or stopping to readjust. She’s perfectly exposed for him, her juices and his saliva coating her skin and dripping down her ass, she’s that wet.

“MJ…”

Her name escaping his lips in that husky voice finally gets her to lazily blink her eyes open until her gaze focuses on him as clearly as she can. He looks sexy as fuck on his knees for her, pupils dilated and the stubbled skin of his chin and jaw covered in shiny wetness.

Grayson’s big hands knead the insides of her thighs until he’s confident he has her full attention. He smoothes his palms to the crooks of her knees, moving her gently until she’s practically folded in half, and without breaking eye contact shifts his head that much further down so he can go to town on her even lower.

MJ gasps and shoots one of her hands to his hair, her first instinct being to push him away, until half a second passes and she’s doing the exact opposite. No one has ever done this for her before, and now she’s wondering how she had gone so long without the sensation of his tongue swiping up her cum from that virtually untouched hole.

If she was in any right state, she would have seen Grayson’s smug, quite literally ass eating smirk at her reaction to his ministrations. He isn’t sure why in their nearly eight months together he had never eaten her ass before; it isn’t the first time he’s done it to a girl. Maybe because he treasures sex with MJ more than anyone in his life before, maybe knowing in his heart that they have a long future of making love ahead of them had caused him to wait. What he does know, is that he’ll never be able to resist doing it again when the desire to rises, especially given her voracious response to it.

“Fuck!” MJ wails when he spreads her even more open with his hand so he can have better access, his tongue rimming and prodding her asshole to perfection while the thumb of his free hand presses upward on the hood of her clit. He knows her so well, can sense she’s too sensitive for direct stimulation there, but the pressure right above the bundle of nerves is exactly what she’s craving without her even realizing it.

But he does, and it feels so good — too good; Grayson’s eyes drop closed as he lets her taste and sounds overcome his senses, and it’s like her pleasure is his as his hand finally begins to jerk himself off. He builds up the speed of his strokes with her increased pace of breath, until she cums for a third time, and his tongue is quickly swiping all the way up her crease, from asshole to clit as he stands to his feet. He leans over her with one hand on the back of the couch and licks the last of her off his lips as he takes in her body to fuel him even more, even as clothed as she still is.

MJ starts to come-to enough to realize what he needs, and lifts her shirt to expose more skin to him. She drinks in the sight of her gorgeous boyfriend towering over her with his sweats and boxer briefs pushed down just enough for his equally beautiful dick to be out while he strokes the head aggressively. He’s about to explode and she knows it, just as attuned to his body’s tells as he is with hers.

His face is hovering just above hers, and she watches his mouth drop and his eyes train on her exposed skin. MJ bites her lip and whines, pulling roughly on her nipples while her eyes flit between his face and his cock. “Cum on my pussy, baby, I want it — want your cum all over me, make it your pussy…”

She’s rambling, but it’s all he needed as a deep, relieved groan escapes him, followed by soft grunts as he shoots all over her, exactly where she told him to and then some. MJ moans quietly and knocks his hand out of the way to finish him off herself, squeezing the last drops of the pearly white from him. The fingers of her other hand collect what she can from her skin to keep it from dripping on the couch, spreading it instead over her swollen lower lips.

His chest still heaves when she looks up at him with a tired smile, which he matches with a laugh when her final stroke makes him flinch. He pushes her hand off his cock and tells her, “Don’t move.”

She obeys, and watches him lean over to grab his phone off the side table, unlocking it and swiping up. “Is this okay?” he asks, motioning with his head. “This is too fucking sexy. Need a memento while you’re out of town.”

MJ giggles and nods, spreading her legs a little more as he goes to town. She does her best to coat her pussy in his cum, her long, glittering manicured nails adding a certain aesthetic to the shots. She even scoops some up and let him capture her sucking it off her middle finger.

Grayson smiles tiredly and kisses her sweetly, the gentleness and simplicity of it a little stark after the pure filth of the last twenty minutes. He tucks himself back in his pants and goes into her bathroom to get a wet rag to clean her up with, chucking it in the washer when he’s done. On his way back over to her, he picks up her long-forgotten panties off the middle of the living room floor with a smirk and hands them to her, plopping next to her and dragging her into his lap once they’re back on her body.

“I’m gonna have to insist on you having dessert every day,” she yawns into his chest with a sniffle. “I didn't know you liked cake so much.”

Grayson laughs and squeezes her tight to him, placing a lingering kiss on her forehead as he confirms to Netflix that, yes, they are indeed still watching. “And Ethan says I’m the cornball.”

“If he only knew.”

[kuromichad]

different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia. 

because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”

and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner). 

like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.

because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness. 

because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”

again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.

like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.

like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.

[cluelesslesbian]

Check-In Tag✨

AKA a very long post about moi and this account bc I was tagged by the lovely @katelfiredemon <3

IF YOU SEE THIS, PRETEND I'M TAGGING U like this is completely optional (and long omg) so I don't wanna FORCE anyone to do it but asjhkl I think it's cute

1. why did you choose your url?

My og url was something dumb bc I only used tumblr to keep up with artists and writers I admired… this one is revamped to be ~relatable~ bc I wanted something that I felt comfortable adding on my art?? But ok-

clueless = because THERE’S TIMES THAT I’M A LIL SLOW TO GET A JOKE SDFHJKL

lesbian = bc I’m not out to my family but my sexuality is something I like about me,,, so I wanted to acknowledge it somewhere (and the anonymity of tumblr = ideal tbh)

2. any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

I made one like yesterday lol! It’s @blue-dragon-shin-ah and it’s for Akatsuki no Yona (an anime and manga I TOTALLY rec! It’s like a historical themed fantasy, comedy, romance WITH a found family trope it’s so good)

but ngl I have no clue how to keep track of more than 1 blog so it'll be a lot more inactive than this one asdhkl

3. how long you’ve been on tumblr?

hmm according to my tumblr account it’d be 2016 since that’s the oldest post I’ve kept (I deleted everything and revamped this acc in december 2020)

BUT I did the math and I would’ve made this account in middle school so around 2013-2014 lol I don’t think I used it much until voltron was booming in like 2016-2018.. Then I lowkey stopped… until now!

4. do you have a queue tag?

oof no

……...I probably should? like 90% of my blog is queued or scheduled… but ngl I barely remember to tag posts at ALL some nights so I probably won’t (rip if that’s annoying,, but I don’t make much og content so I figure anyone following me is chill with this lol)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

In middle school?? To see funny posts and not be pressured into having an ~online presence~ tbh. That’s literally it lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and keith's expressions r hilarious

Before I just,,, chose sokka bc I love that blue boi and the edit of him had a yellow bg that I LOVED (and matched with my pink theme)

7. why did you choose your header?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and klance sdjfhk

Before it was just a colour palette bc I wanted my blog to be my fav colour: PINK

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

My zukka art omg- like I did one that I put effort into which I KNOW is my top post (it’s got like 600 notes??? I still can’t believe it I love that!! 🥰)

BUT MY SECOND TOP IS A POST OF REALLY REALLY ROUGH SKETCHES OF THEM AND I LOWKEY CRINGE AT IT (it’s got like 500 notes.. And I’m like… y ?? I can DO BETTER 😭)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

…...listen I’ve literally never had mutuals until this year (minus my one irl.. I love u bitch!! but u know that bc we text on other platforms too)

idek am i supposed to be keeping track??? I just smile a lot when i see the darker-tinted notifs in my activity feed

10. how many followers do you have?

hmmmmmmm ok i lowkey don’t want to answer this bc my whole love for tumblr is that followers don’t matter? You could follow me today and unfollow tmrw bc i ship something you don’t and life moves on??? So yeah no answer here

11. how many people do you follow?

1807 babeyyyy

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

...wait define shitpost- technically any original post under #yeetidk might be a shitpost cause they’re all just?? my shitty rambles tbh???

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Sometimes i’ve got the app open allll day long but other days?? I’ll go on like once in the morning or at night just to check my notifs and then that’s it

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lmaoo bold of you to assume i interact with anyone enough to have a fight (AKA no)

If i did tho?? I’m the type to try and come to some middle ground before dropping the issue so idk- i’m more likely to lose bc i’m willing to （づ￣3￣）

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Wish-granting/curse stuff: no.

Politics/Donation posts: depends! I try to only reblog posts like these that I know a bit about bc I don’t really wanna contribute to misinformation ykno?

I did start tagging these posts as #important but I’m not like?? gonna be mad at anyone for not reblogging political posts (also a heads-up if you wanted to block #important: I also tag some lgbt+ stuff under there so you’ll likely miss those too, not a huuuge loss but just an fyi yknow??)

16. do you like tag games?

asdfghjkl this is honestly the first tag game i’ve ever been part of so i have no opinion 😭 tho formatting this post has been a bitch asdhjkl I gotta get back to my homework when I'm finally done this

17. do you like ask games?

I've done a grand total of 1 and I felt so?? ashgjl awkward and bad for asking people to talk to me about myself- maybe if I do one that isn't about me I'll like it more

I do love sending other people anons to compliment them when they do these games tho 😌

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

....this requires me to pay attention to people I follow more than I have been so I literally have no idea??

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

yes. the one readings this. love u, sweetheart 😘

/jokes

I don't?? usually get crushes? idek.. thought I was aromantic for a while bc of that lmaoo (but then I got a crush on someone irl and I was like "oooh ok so maybe im just gay then")

[fanfalc-616]

The Rights Of A Nindroid

Chapter Fifteen

(Prevoius Chapter Here)

(Discord Here)

Been a while since I’ve posted, sorry about that-

I’m supposed to be in school rn lol

When finally taken back to the lockers, after thirty exhausting hours, Cryptor feels as though he’s on the verge of a forced shutdown.

The damn brat had switched out with someone else, claiming something about an internship. And that had at least meant that the one hurting him no longer had a personal vendetta, but it was still painful.

Cryptor hates how close he had come to actually asking them to hurt Zane instead, but he didn’t. Though judging by the way the other looks when the two of them are put in the locker, they hurt him anyway.

DID THEY GIVE YOU A CHOICE TOO?

Zane doesn’t answer for a moment, likely out of surprise or maybe exhaustion.

I DIDNT GIVE IN

Cryptor snorts. Of course he didn’t. He’s a self-sacrificing dumbass, and it had been that knowledge that had allowed Cryptor to hang on himself.

HOW LONG A BREAK DO YOU THINK WELL GET?

It’s a morbid game, really, but the two of them had taken to guessing how long they would get before dragged out for testing or torture.

AT LEAST SIX HOURS WE WERE THERE FOR OVER A DAY

Mulls over the words, Cryptor considers the idea. Zane’s probably right, but he feels like arguing.

OR THEYLL WANT TO BEAT IT INTO US WITH A SHORTER ONE

There’s a pause, and Cryptor takes a moment to hate himself. Yes, start an argument with his one friend, that’s a wonderful idea.

IS SOMEONE HAVING A BAD DAY?

Cryptor snorts. Good, Zane can tell when he’s only pretending to argue. Probably picked that up from his teammates.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The friendly banter continues for a while, but Cryptor can eventually feel himself shutting down from exhaustion.

He taps out a goodbye and a quick explanation before falling asleep, hoping- but not expecting- that they’ll get today off.

{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }

Jay is starting to lose his grip.

Kai had gotten himself under house arrest by breaking into the government building- which he neglected to tell them the location of before doing so- and since they live on the Bounty, they’re stuck grounded so that the police can make sure that Kai’s not leaving.

Also he’s been sulking the whole time.

It’s already been almost two months, but he still has another four left, and everyone on the ship is going crazy from it.

“I am this close to renting a hotel until his house arrest is over.” Nya holds up her hand so that her pointer finger and thumb are almost touching.

Cole sighs, shaking his head. “I’d join you, but at this point I’m scared of leaving him unsupervised.”

Jay laughs a little. “Honestly, what could he do that’s worse than what he’s already done?”

The two immediately snap over to looking at him.

“Are you trying to jinx it?!” Cole groans. “You know full well how crazy he can get when it comes to protecting us.”

Wincing, Jay accepts the point. “That’s fair. But I doubt he would-“

Lloyd comes running into the room. “Kai left the ship. He tied his house arrest bracelet to the roomba so it would move, and I don’t know where he went.”

Jay blinks. “I stand corrected.”

Then they’re all scrambling to their feet, rushing off to try and find the dumbass hot head that is Kai.

Cole runs outside, probably off to go look at his usual hiding places- he’s run off before, but never under house arrest.

Nya goes to her computer, most likely going to try and track his phone- that’s her usual go-to for when one of them goes off to do something stupid.

He’s not entirely sure where Lloyd’s going, but he probably has some kind of plan.

But before Jay has the chance to come up with his own, his BorgPhone rings with a number that he doesn’t recognize.

A flash of fear takes over him. Oh, Kai better not have gotten captured. What happens if he has? They might hurt him, he might go to prison, he could get into all kinds of trouble!

With shaky hands, Jay hits accept and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, this is Jay Walker. Who is this and how have I ruined your life?” Somehow, he manages to keep his voice from shaking.

“It’s more of your boyfriend who’s doing that.” Sentry grumbles. “I found Kai sneaking into Borg Tower- he was trying to find more hints of ways to rescue Zane. Please come and get him before he gets caught- I shoved him in a back room to keep people from finding him, but he’ll probably find a way out pretty soon.”

Jay curses softly. “Of course he did. Okay, I’m on my way.” He starts to head out even as he speaks, silently complaining about how reckless his boyfriend can be. He loves him, he really does, but sometimes- like now- he really wants to slap him.

It takes him around fifteen minutes to make it to Borg Tower, and when he steps inside, Sentry is standing right next to the door.

“He escapes from the room, so I put him in the timeout corner. He’s handcuffed to the wall, but I’m pretty sure that-“

Jay blinks a few times. “Wh- why do you have a timeout corner? And why does it have handcuffs?”

Sighing, Sentry shakes his head. “The white nindroids were created recently and are pretty immature,” he explains, “so a timeout is a pretty effective way to get them to behave. The handcuffs are for when they still don’t listen- now come on, we should hurry before he finds a way out.”

So Jay lets the nindroid lead him through the tower, trying to stop the way he’s nervously jittering. It- it’ll be fine, it’ll be totally and completely fi-

They come into a back room where Kai is in a chair and in handcuffs that are attached to the wall, forcing his hands above his head.

Jay glances over at Sentry. “Uh-“

“We have two timeout corners. This one is for the nindroids who cause trouble repeatedly. Or in this case, the ninja who does that.” He glares at Kai, but the red ninja looks utterly unapologetic.

“I need to rescue Zane. And you didn’t have to call someone to pick me up, I’m not some child in a school’s principal’s office.” Kai huffs, shifting in his bonds.

Jay starts to try and tell him that he’s totally acting like he’s just got his parents called in an office, but Sentry shakes his head, and speaks up.

“There’s a back door you can take him out so that he doesn’t get caught, but keep a better handle on him next time. We really don’t need him getting an actual prison sentence.”

Glancing at his boyfriend, Jay thinks for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d actually be able to get Kai out of here without being seen.

“I’m going to call Cole,” he decides, “he’ll be able to carry him out of here.”

“I can walk!” Kai protests, looking betrayed. “I don’t need to be carried-“

Sentry nods. “Probably a good idea. He might put up a fight on the way out.”

“I can hear you, you know! I’m right here.” Kai sounds annoyed and frustrated, and Jay sighs, feeling himself cave a little.

“It’s okay, Fire-Hazard. I’ll talk Nya out of murdering you, so long as you promise to actually stay on the ship this time.”

At his words, Kai pales a little. It’s clear he hadn’t thought about how his sister would react to him running off.

“I’ll behave.” He grumbles, clearly unhappy about it. “But I can’t just do nothing.”

With a start, Jay realizes that he’s right. The reason that he keeps doing stupid things is because he needs to be doing something to help- if he doesn’t, he’s going to feel like he’s failing Zane.

So they need to come up with something that he could work on, some way he could get them closer to freeing him.

Maybe if he was working on part of the plan…

Jay looks over at Sentry. “We’re looking for legal loopholes right now, right? Could he help you try and find some? From the computer on the ship, I mean.”

Kai perks up a little, and Sentry looks like he’s considering the idea.

“Will that keep him out of trouble?” He sounds hesitant, but Jay quickly nods.

“He just wants to help, give him a way to do that and he’ll be fine.”

The nindroid looks over at Kai. “Is he seriously going to be able to look through legal documents for longer than thirty seconds?” He sounds unamused, but he pauses again when he sees Kai’s determined expression.

“I looked through a ton of them to break in. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out.”

After hesitating for only a moment longer, Sentry nods. “Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll send over some I haven’t gotten to yet.”

So Jay ends up only calling Cole so that he can let the others know that Jay found him, and Kai actually walks back without putting up a fuss.

It takes a bit of work to get him on the ship stealthily enough so that any potential cameras couldn’t see, but they manage it.

However, when they step onto the bridge, the three others look annoyed beyond belief.

After a pause, Kai chuckles nervously. “On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in?”

“Eleven.” Nya’s smile expresses anything but happiness, and Cole and Lloyd look only slightly less upset.

Somehow, Jay manages to uphold his promise, talking Nya out of giving Kai some five hour lecture that would probably make him regret existing.

Lloyd grabs Stabby and re-attaches the house arrest bracelet, and it’s not long after that the red ninja is in front of the computer, having about seven files open that he’s comparing and researching.

Later, Cole comes up to him. “The research thing was good thinking; it’ll keep him distracted while still allowing him to help.”

Jay flashes him a smile. “What can I say? I actually have good ideas sometimes.”

Cole smirks. “That’s debatable.”

“You literally just told me that I had a good idea.” Jay reminds with his own grin.

With an overly thoughtful expression, Cole strokes his chin. “Did I? I don’t remember that.”

“Wow, and here I was with the idea that elephants never forget.” Jay snarks back, barely containing his snickers.

Mock gasping, Cole puts a hand over his chest. But as he starts to teasingly reply, his smile fades, and he looks down.

“... Zane loved mock arguments.” He murmurs softly, pain suddenly written on his face.

Jay feels his own cheerfulness drain a little. “It took a while to teach him how, but he got pretty good at them.” He quietly agrees as he remembers the difficulty Zane had used to have with humor.

“He got pretty good at them though.” Cole’s smile is more pained now, but it’s there.

With a soft chuckle, Jay nods. “Absolutely trashed us with them.”

But then the emotions are over taking him, and Jay feels himself shaking at the thought of his titanium boyfriend. Who knows what they’re doing to him, from Kai’s recount they’ve been outright torturing him, he-

Cole puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” He speaks softly, and his voice is uncertain, as though he’s not really sure of himself, even though it sounds like he’s trying to keep it steady.

Jay nods weakly, feeling tears burn at the back of his eyes. “It’ll be okay.” He repeats softly, desperately trying to believe the words.

In the end, Cole has to coax both him and Kai into bed with gentle reassurances and promises that he sounds slightly unsure of, but at this point, Jay’s too desperate to think about how he might be wrong.

He just wants Zane back… is that really too much to ask for?

Apparently, because it doesn’t seem that they’ll be getting him back anytime soon.

That night, even when cuddled in the arms of his other boyfriends, he cries himself to sleep.

Zane will be okay. He has to be okay.

Jay won’t be able to take it if he’s not.