#might have to skip sleep so i can shower before everybody wakes up and ask to be taken

[ii-zi]

My heads a little odd it's like it was filled w water and it had a marble or something and everything I disturbe the water with sound or movement the marble thing goes crazy

[theboyzuniverse]

Finding Love (Part 1)

POV: You're part of a co-ed K-pop group called Boyz and Girlz aka BGZ, which consists of 11 boys and 3 girls. The 3 girls are Hyeri (97 liner), Eli (98 liner), and Y/N, maknae of the whole group. The girls dorm is a small apartment slightly apart from the boys for privacy, but it is connected to the boys dorm by a common living room, and there's also a shared kitchen to promote good team-work.

The whole dorm was quiet when you got home from your morning walk with Sunwoo and Eric. Haknyeon was in the kitchen half eating, half asleep. Everyone else was probably at the gym. It was a free day for you guys but no one ever really slept in on off days except for Eric who you had forced to wake up, that boy is one hell of a heavy sleeper.

"I'm gonna go back to sleep," Eric muttered.

"Ew, take a shower first." You told him, "And don't fall asleep in there."

"No promises."

You head back to your room to wash up, then headed back to get something to eat. Haknyeon was face-down on the table when you went to the kitchen, you gently wake him up to tell him to head back to his room. He complies easily and you giggle at the way he walks like a zombie.

"I'm gonna play some games today, wanna join?" Sunwoo asked.

"Maybe later, I wanted to do a V-Live today."

Sunwoo and Eric were your bestfriends, you were in the same class and went to the same school before you all graduated together. It was because of them that you didn't have much girlfriends, because you always hung out with either them or their guy friends.

"I'm home!" You heard Juyeon shout as he slammed the door.

"No one cares!" Sunwoo shouted back as he headed back to his room with two juice pouches.

"Wanna do a live with me?" You asked Juyeon as he comes into the kitchen.

"Sure," He replied immediately.

Your oppas and unnies rarely said no to you, and you had to admit you were a brat sometimes but they loved you anyway. You loved them just the same.

"Where is everybody?" He asked you surprised at the quietness of the dorm.

"I don't know, probably at the gym. Sunwoo's playing games, and Eric and Haknyeon are sleeping."

"So everything's still the same."

"You were gone for a week oppa, not a whole year."

He smiled that little smile that the fans loved so much. It really did make him look like a little cat boy, well not so little. Juyeon had gone home for a week for his cousin's marriage, and you had to admit that even though it was just a week as you mentioned, you had really missed him. Juyeon was the type of person who paid attention to the people around him, he adored all of you and always showed it even though he himself might not be aware.

"I'll go wash up, come when you wanna do it."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"I'll just order some food later."

"Order for me too."

"I thought you already ate."

"Yeah, but I wanna eat again. Chicken okay?"

He laughed, "Okay, aegi."

It was a nickname that Sunwoo had started for you because you were the maknae, regardless of the fact that he was only a few months older than you. They all babied you so you couldn't help feeling like their baby sometimes.

The members all arrived home as you were about to head to Juyeon's room for the live, and the chaos that ensues when all the members were home immediately started. Chanhee and Changmin were bickering about which one of them was supposed to buy milk while Sunwoo was shouting at Kevin in the room not to disturb him, Kevin was also a brat sometimes.

"Y/N, is Juyeon home?" Hyeri asked you amidst the chaos.

"Yeah, we're gonna do a live."

"Okay, you guys can have this."

She hands you two big slices of cake. Apparently they all went shopping for food after going to the gym. You stand there, plate in your hand, confused.

"What's this for?" You asked, they rarely bought cake unless it was for someone's birthday.

"Just a special treat, no reason." Sangyeon answered.

"Okay," You shrugged as you head to Juyeon's room. "They're so loud, but I can't even complain."

Juyeon laughs at you knowing what you mean. You were one of the noisiest members so you couldn't even really complain about the chaos. However, there were times you wished for some peace.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

He starts the live and the viewers tune in little by little. You could see a lot of ship comments but of course you had to pretend not to see some of them. Shippers were inevitable, especially being a co-ed group. All of you were constantly paired together, but you had noticed lately how many comments there were about you and Juyeon.

"Everyone, should we do a question and answer round today?"

Juyeon and you took turns to read and answer questions. Most of them were about new songs or our current favourite dramas or songs, and even asking you to sing. Then there were the ones asking about other members, and then the shippers, the ones who made you most nervous. Juyeon had always been surprisingly good at handling these, he was natural. The things he's good at he was really good, but if there's something he was bad at, the boy was utter chaos.

"Pose for screenshots," You read a comment that had popped up several times.

Juyeon immediately leaned over to do a heart with you, and you complied. You did little winks and acted cute, of course the fans loved that and it made Juyeon smile, which warmed your heart. If it was any other member they would've playfully cringed at you but Juyeon was just too sweet.

You end the live after about an hour, now a little hungry so you both order some chicken and coke. You lie down on his bed as he pulls you into a tight hug that had you gasping for air. The whole group was pretty cuddly and free with skinship, but Juyeon had these moments where he would just pull someone into a tight bear hug and wouldn't let go until the latter struggled hard against him. He really enjoyed it and the boy was strong so it was close to impossible to break away sometimes.

"Oppa!" You whine as he tightened the hug around you.

He smiles cheekily as you struggled to pull out. Hyunjae comes in to see your struggle.

"Ah not again," He says as he slaps Juyeon's butt.

"Hyung!"

"What?"

"This is fun."

"Yah!"

You protest as they both laugh at you struggling and he finally lets you go.

"Ah so annoying," You mutter as they both smile at you.

"Your chicken is here, we're not paying!" Kevin calls out to you.

"Let me eat too." Hyunjae immediately says as he hears the words chicken.

"Pay for half." You retort back.

"What? That's not fair."

"Yes it is, because you'll probably eat half for yourself." Juyeon replies as he comes in with the chicken.

Hyunjae just laughs not bothering to deny it.

"Eat up aegi, you have to grow more." Juyeon teases you.

In addition to being the youngest, you were also the smallest and shortest. You weren't that short though, the rest of your other members were just too tall, that included Hyeri and Eli who were taller than the average female K-pop idol.

"I always eat well."

Hyunjae cleans up in exchange for not paying, but you let it go since neither you and Juyeon now felt like moving. You both lay down on his bed looking up at the wall, then he takes your hand. Your heart skips a beat catching you off-guard.

Its not like you haven't held hands before, you did it all the time with him and all the other members too and never felt any different. Maybe its just because we're being close and intimate like this, you try to reason with yourself. You almost stop breathing when Juyeon suddenly turns his head to look at you.

"You feel that too don't you?" He asks as he clasps his fingers with yours.

Your heart starts beating faster as he waits for you to answer. Your thoughts are all jumbled up as you stare back at him, your eyes widening and blinking a few times, flustered.

"If you look at me like that I can't think," You finally tell him.

He lays his head back down on the pillow, one hand behind his head and closing his eyes. He holds your hand with your palm against his face as he lets out a sigh.

"I've been feeling it for a while." He tells you. "I confirmed it when I went home, I missed you so much."

You stay quiet at his confession, still in shock. You tried to process everything all at once but it was impossible. The two of you stay like that in silence for a while, the sound of Juyeon slowly breathing in and out helped you calm down. After some time, you muster up enough courage to get up and rest yourself on his chest, and he opens his eyes.

"I think I like you too," You barely manage to whisper.

He gives you a soft smile as he tucks your hair behind your ear, and caresses your cheeks. You put your hand over his hand as you look into his eyes. The same feeling of warmth spread all over you as it always did when you looked at him smile.

How did you not notice it before, this kind of warmth wasn't something you felt with the other members. It was exclusively a feeling associated with Juyeon. He was always there for you, especially during the time when Hwall, a close friend, had to leave the group. You remembered how hard it was for you when he decided to leave due to his injuries, those sleepless nights you spent in front of the T.V. trying to accept reality. Times when even Sunwoo and Eric were at a loss for words, it was always Juyeon who stayed right beside you and lent you a shoulder to cry on.

"Y/N," The door opens then quickly closes with Hyeri exclaiming, "Oh sh*t sorry-"

You both quickly sit up on the bed as she closes the door and disappears, she probably thought you were kissing or something. The atmosphere was tense as you sheepishly turn to look at Juyeon who was running his hand through his hair in slight confusion. As he sees you looking at him he gives you his signature smile, assuring you that you had nothing to be worried about.

Kinda lame and unrealistic cause it was something that suddenly popped into my head but oh well, a girl can dream right?

Thank you for taking time to read it. <3

[writingthingsisdifficult]

Saving the world (Double booking pt 2)

I was asked to write a second part, and as inspiration struck, well… here it is.

They've shared a room. Now what?

If you like it, let me know :D

Word count: 5655

Part 1

_______________________________________________________________________

The light is seeping under the curtains, dragging you back to the conscious world, but you're not ready to get up just yet. So you squeeze your eyes shut and stretch your back. It's stiff as a board, and your cheek has seemingly set in a permanently squished position. The room feels stuffy and warm, and there's a soft noise you don't recognise at first. But when you finally open your eyes, you can't help but smile.

Everything's a bit blurry without your glasses, but there's no mistaking the man sleeping in the bed next to yours. His arm, which you suddenly notice isn't gloved, but a prosthetic, is hanging over the edge of the bed, and if you strain your imagination, it's almost stretched towards you.

It looks like he hasn't moved at all during the night. Neither have you when you come to think of it. When you stretch again, your neck cracks as if you were eighty, and it's a struggle to lift one leg over the other, though that might just be that you're still half asleep.

As you fumble for your glasses, Bucky opens his eyes and gives you a sleepy smile. "Good morning."

Your heart skips a beat, and it's as if you've forgotten all suitable responses to such an innocent greeting. "Yeah." That's what comes out of your mouth, and you groan.

"You sleep good?" He yawns and props up on his elbow.

"Mhm. Like a baby."

"Me too."

You grin and roll over on your back just as the loudest growl erupts from your stomach. Heat creeps up your neck and ears, and you mutter a soft "Sorry."

Bucky laughs. "Don't apologise for being hungry. What do you say we go get some breakfast?"

"I could eat."

After a quick shower and a couple of frustrating minutes picking an outfit, you really don't want to look like a slob in front of Bucky, you're both seated in the restaurant, devouring the bacon and eggs like your lives depend on it.

The conversation is light. You're slowly getting to know each other. "I'm freelancing for the government," Bucky says and gulps down his orange juice. "It's all really boring, though."

You nod and stuff your mouth with bacon. "I'm sure it isn't. But paperwork, am I right?" you add with a chuckle.

Nodding, he wipes his mouth and takes another bite. "Mhm. How about you?"

"Oh, it's not very interesting. I freelance too, I guess. Right now I've been hired to design a calendar with paintings from the city. It's not well paid, but it's fun."

"So you're an artist? May I see some of your work?"

Suddenly you feel a bit self-conscious. That's weird. You haven't had doubts about your art in forever. "I've got some photos in my phone." You hesitate for a second, then fish it out and unlock it. Scrolling down, you find the series of paintings you did last spring. Green and lush, you get a pang of longing for the fresh air and colourful flowers. The contrast is vast from the grey city.

"Wow, these are good!" Bucky exclaims and starts gushing over your lines and colour and the composition, and you feel your ego inflating with every word. All you can do is sit there with a stupid grin on your face, and a pulsing heat in your cheeks, while he builds you up like he's a professional.

You've totally forgotten the time when the staff tells you that the restaurant, unfortunately, is closed now, but that you're welcome back for dinner later. With many an apology, the two of you get up and head to the lobby, where you stay, talking for almost an hour before you remember why you are here in the first place.

"Sorry," you say, and mean it. "I need to get some work done before the light goes. I was thinking of heading down to the harbour today. See if the water can inspire me."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess." Bucky looks down on his feet and gives you a small smile. Then he looks up again, his eyes shining, competing with the glorious smile that grows on his lips. "Do you mind if I come with you? I mean… you don't have to say yes, I just…"

"No, of course." You're relieved that he asked, letting you out of asking him yourself. "Some company would be lovely. Just gotta get my stuff. Meet you back here in ten minutes?"

He nods and sighs almost imperceptibly once you've turned away, watching as you almost skip towards the elevator. A tiny voice in the back of his head warns him that he has tripped and is going to fall hard if he doesn't get a grip soon, but he ignores it. The feeling is too pleasant to care just now.

The next few days you establish a routine of sorts. Bucky knocks on your door, asks to sleep next to you, you say yes, and you wake up, turned towards each other. After breakfast, you head out into the city, sometimes he's leading the way, sometimes you have a plan, and you spend the day drawing and talking and without realising it, falling hard for him. Every evening you have dinner in one of the restaurants near the hotel, and every evening you forget what is happening around you, and all you can focus on is Bucky.

_____________________________________________________________________

The sun is shining. A bird is singing in the tree behind you. You can barely hear the traffic from the road outside the park. Bucky is lounging on the grass, chewing on a straw, and you've been drawing him in secret for the past two hours, your original subject completely forgotten and rejected. When he looks up at you, his face is filled with happiness. "This is nice," he says, careful to mask his full joy.

"Yes, it is," you reply, quickly hiding the drawing under a sketch of the bridge and skyline.

He sits up and looks like he wants to say something, but he closes his mouth instead. After a small pause, he gets up and holds out his hand. "Let's go grab something to eat."

"Okay," you whisper, breathless from the feel of his hand in yours. "Lead the way."

He takes you to a small café at the edge of the park, explaining that it's famous for its fries, and they've got the bestdipping sauce, you just have to try it.

You're in the middle of the meal, laughing at a joke, when a shadow interrupts. Looking up, you hear Bucky mutter a curse under his breath, and you feel a pinprick of fear in your neck. He's glaring at the stranger, and the stranger surprisingly returns the look.

"Um…" You look between Bucky, sat at the table with a curly fry sticking out from the corner of his mouth, staring daggers, to the man who just interrupted your lunch. The truth smacks you in the head with force. Holy shit! That's Captain America. Captain freaking America! And it slowly dawns on you who Bucky really is.

The glass you just picked up slides back to the table, sprite sloshing over the sides as it hits, but you don't realise your hand is cold and wet. All you can focus on is that your roommate for the last week is… Bucky Barnes, AKA The Winter Soldier. Yeah. You try very hard to swallow the food in your mouth, but it's so dry, and forcing it makes your throat ache.

Said soldier quickly chews the curly fry and swallows thickly. "What do you want, Sam?"

Sam hands him a pad, and upon reading the contents, Bucky's frown deepens.

"It's very nice to meet you," Sam says, his shining smile lighting up the whole room. "I'm Sam, by the way."

"Y/N," you reply, still unaware that the hand you're using to shake Captain America's hand with is wet and slightly sticky. Actually, you're kinda unaware of your surroundings altogether.

Sam laughs, making Bucky look up from the message, scowls at Sam, then returns to his reading. "So you're the one who's keeping Bucky busy, huh?" He winks, and you feel that heat creeping up the back of your neck. "From the look on your face, I'd say you didn't know who you're having lunch with, right?"

You nod, squeaking a confirmation.

Sam laughs. "I thought after the whole Flag Smashers case, everybody knew who Bucky was."

Your ears burn, and you breathe a little faster now. Of course, you've been to the exhibit at the Smithsonian, and of course you know about Steve Rogers' best friend, it just never connected in your brain that this super sweet man is a WWII hero and assassin.

Your eyes flick from his prosthetic arm and up to his face. "Uh… I'm just not super into the whole celebrity thing?" you offer, blurting out the first thing that pops into your head.

Snickering, Sam turns to Bucky. "And you didn't tell her?" There's a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Bucky picks on a stain on the table before setting up a defiant face. "It didn't come up." And he wants to add And by the way, how do you go about saying Oh, and FYI I'm a former assassin and murderer, to a woman you really want to get to know better?

He looks so uncomfortable, you get a strong urge to hug him, but now you're uncertain of all this. What if the two of you are against the rules? Wait, what are you, really? Friends? Accidental roommates? You like Bucky. You really like Bucky, and you had kinda hoped it would grow into something… more, but now… Swallowing the lump in the back of your throat – that was an unexpected reaction – you smile flatly. "Are, are you allowed to, to… I mean, can you be friends with…" You swallow again. "Civilians?"

Sam's eyes widen for a split second, and somehow you feel as though he can see right through you. Then he laughs, and all the tension around the table dissipates. "Of course. We're human, Bucky's human, as difficult as that is to believe. Of course we're allowed to have friends, relationships, family. Wouldn't be much of a life without it, would it? But expect them to do a background check on you, hell, they probably already know what you ate for dinner on your twelfth birthday."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but I'm afraid I have to whisk your boyfriend away for a while. There's a situation."

"We're… we're not…" You have to admit that thought feels good, but really, any hope you had has been well and truly smashed.

Bucky gets up and smacks the pad at Sam. "I'll see you later?"

"I'll be here," you reply with fake confidence. "Please be safe. Both of you," you add with a small smile.

"You too," Bucky says softly. "Be careful if you go out after dark. It's not as safe as you think here."

That makes you snort. "It's me. I don't even like people, what am I supposed to do outside after dark, huh? Don't worry. I'll probably stay in my room and paint all day anyway."

He mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "good", but it's hard to hear over Sam. "I'll take care of him," he laughs, ducking under Bucky's hand as he swats at his head. "Come on, Buck. Let's roll."

"Be safe," you mutter again, looking after them as they head to the black, unmarked car waiting by the flower shop on the corner. It's as if all colour drains from your vision.

_______________________________________________________________________

The first sip of coffee feels divine; just what you need to wake up after spending another night without Bucky. It has been another restless night. You tossed and turned and couldn't settle properly. And the dreams… You'd rather not think about them. Never before has your brain produced such chaotic absurdities, such eldritch horrors, but to be honest you're not really surprised. Sleeping next to Bucky; something just clicked. You smile into your cup, feeling calmer just thinking about it. It's weird how quickly you got used to his presence, and how wrong it feels when he isn't there.

But you don't get to enjoy your drink for long. Before you've even finished the second sip, someone shoves you hard from behind. The coffee spills over the sidewalk, painting the concrete and splashing all over your shoes. "Hey! Watch where you're going!" you bark, turning to confront whoever pushed you. But before you can even see them, they pull a bag over your head.

Panic rises in you, and you scream until your throat feels raw. Someone smacks you across the mouth, and the shock and pain shuts you up. Your lip thumps: it's split, you can taste the blood now. Tears stream down your cheeks, the soft fabric of the bag clings to your skin. Feeling the darkness caress your mind, the world starts folding in over itself. Still you possess enough awareness to kick the person holding you. They yelp and swear, resulting in a sharp rap over your ear. Your head is ringing.

A pair of strong arms pick you up as if you weigh nothing, and haul you along, struggling with your flailing arms and legs. There's a metallic clang, like a van door opening, then you're half lifted, half pulled up, all while screaming and cursing, hoping someone – anyone – will hear.

Someone speaks a language you don't recognise; your sleeve is pushed up and there's a sharp prick in your arm. Seconds later your brain starts spinning. The faint light that seeps through the weaving of the bag blinks like a starry sky.

You sway back and forth, feeling off kilter and fuzzy, as the voices around you grow all garbled and muted. Someone pushes you backwards, but before you hit the floor, you're out. As the world fades from your consciousness, you just wish you could have seen Bucky one more time.

When you come to, your head is pounding, your mouth is dry, and everything is dark. You try to move, but your hands are shackled, and your feet are bound to whatever you're sitting on. At least you're right side up, you think, before the situation dawns on you, and the contents of your stomach threatens to make an appearance. You swallow thickly. God, your mouth is so dry. Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth, and there's not enough liquid to even wet your lips. All you can do is grimace, feeling how they crack and pop. It stings. The taste of metallic, rusty blood coats your tongue.

Your throat itches, so much so that you can't even speak, but you can cough. Hard, like explosions in your head, and it's enough for you to lose your breath.

Something floppy is shoved into your hands.

"It's upside down, you idiot!" someone shouts, and the paper is turned.

Panic surges through your body, and your throat constricts, increasing your coughing. Your heart is racing, but everything happens so fast you just can't process it. Someone removes the bag from your head. The light burns in your eyes, and the shock stops your coughing instantly. Everything is white. There's voices, and movement, but you can't see anything clearly, and for a moment you wonder if you've lost your contact lenses. Slowly your vision returns, but they all keep to the shadows, and they've covered their faces, so you can't make out any details. The buzzing in your ears almost drown out every sound in the room.

"Look straight ahead," they command, and by some miracle you actually manage to move your head. "Keep your eyes open. Ready!"

There's a bright flash, someone else yells "Got it!" and then, in a flurry of motions you're untied, dragged through a dark hallway and unceremoniously dropped on the floor. The door clangs ominously behind you, and you freeze, waiting for someone to grab you or hurt you. There's no one in the room, but you remain in the floor, rubbing your wrists and trying to calm your breathing.

It's cold in your cell, room, whatever people call it, but at least you've got a blanket, and they've fed you, so there's that. But no matter how many times you've asked, nobody tells you anything.

You're over the initial shock now, and the fear has begun to settle into anger, but you're too numb to react.

"Who are you? Why are you doing this to me? I'm no one, never been important in my whole life, hey, someone please say something." Silence. You bang on the door, not sure what you're hoping for. In the back of your mind you know it's risky, but you need to know. The silence is making the walls come closer. You lick your lip. It's bleeding again.

You figure your friendship with Bucky has something to do with your current predicament, but you're not sure exactly what they hope to achieve. It's not like you're best friends or anything, but maybe what you have is enough for him to come for you. That thought sends an electric jolt straight to the small of your back. For a moment you allow yourself to hope, to imagine him blasting through the door and marching in with murder in his eyes, angels singing, and the light surrounding him like a halo.

You laugh grimly. What are even the odds of him finding out where you are? Does he even care? He is the Winter Soldier, after all. He's probably got better things to do, he's busy saving the world, no doubt.

_______________________________________________________________________

Bucky smiles as he walks through the hallway, the ugly carpet muting the urgency in his steps. He can't wait to see you again. It's only been four days, but it feels like forever so the moment he got the all-clear after mission report, he made Sam drop him off at your hotel.

A short walk later he's standing outside your room, heart in his throat and arm outstretched, ready to knock. His stomach dances, pure happiness courses through him. It's been so long since he felt like this; he swears he can almost feel it in his metal arm.

A soft knock. No answer. He knocks again, harder this time. Still no answer. It's only a few minutes past eleven, you won't be asleep yet. You never fall asleep before midnight.

Suddenly it's like someone's poured a bucket of ice water over him. Putting an ear against the door, he listens like some kind of creep, but the room is silent. Maybe you're out. But that doesn't make sense either. It's too dark to get any proper work done, and you're not one for night clubs, or so you've said. Could you have checked out? Bucky's heart skips a beat. What if you're gone? But… wouldn't you at least have left him a message?

Turning on his heel, he marches back to the elevator as if he's got the devil on his tail. There's a really nasty feeling growing in his gut, something he just can't afford to think about now.

He presses the elevator button multiple times, but it takes its sweet time, so instead, he heads to the stairs, taking several steps at once, then skips the steps altogether and jumps over the railing, landing with a heavy thud on the ground floor.

There's a tenseness to his stride as he walks to the front desk, feeling more and more anxious with every breath. He never thought he'd feel this way again; that pit in his stomach and the growing stone in his chest. Last time, he was on a plane, heading for Italy in 1943, not knowing what was waiting for him.

"Excuse me," he says, rather gruffly, spooking the receptionist, though how she didn't hear him stomping through the lobby is a mystery. His own ears buzz loudly, and it's a miracle he can hear her at all.

"Good evening. How may I help you?" She smiles in that professional way people do when they're interrupted and don't really want to talk.

Bucky glances at the reflection in the glass wall behind her. Solitaire. He shakes his head to clear it a bit. "Um, yeah. Is there a message for me? For James Barnes or maybe Bucky."

She looks through the papers on the desk and shakes her head. "Sorry."

He closes his eyes and breathes through his nose. "Okay. Don't suppose you could tell me if Y/N has checked out of room 508?" His brows furrow, but he tries to smile anyway.

Another head shake. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm not allowed to disclose that kind of information." She looks briefly at her screen, then back up at Bucky, fake smile plastered on her face.

Bucky bites his tongue and swallows the rage that's building in him. It's not the receptionist's fault. She doesn't understand. But then he gets an idea. "Right, of course," he says, making his voice sweeter. "But maybe you will allow me to leave her a message?"

"Certainly. Let me grab a pen and paper for you."

So you haven't checked out. From the look on her face, the receptionist doesn't realise she's confirmed his suspicions. Well, he'll leave a message just in case, but it's time for drastic measures.

Outside it's dark now. Low clouds are threatening with rain. No one sees the dark figure slipping around the corner and jumping to grab the lowest rung of the fire ladder. Bucky easily hoists himself up, and climbs to the fifth floor, keeping to the shadows and making as little noise as possible. He knows where the window to your room is, and in less than a minute he's standing on the tiny balcony, peering in.

The room looks untouched. The bed is made, your stuff is all there. There's an almost finished portrait on the sketch pad on the desk; a smiling, content picture of himself. Nothing is missing except you. Bucky is three seconds from losing it.

A cold raindrop hits the back of his neck, drawing him from his haze. Soon the sky has opened up, and he's blasted with icy water. It soaks through his jeans, and drips from his hair into his eyes. Without looking back, he slides down the fire ladder and lands in a puddle. He doesn't know what to do next. Maybe Sam knows, so he ducks back into the hotel to get out of the rain, but before he can make the call, he's interrupted by the receptionist.

"Mr Barnes, I apologise. I didn't see this before. Someone left this for you." The woman hands him a large, brown envelope. All of a sudden he's transported back in time; drowning in flashes of memories of past missions, but he shakes himself out of it. Leaning on the column by the door, he opens the envelope.

There's nothing in there but a photo. It makes his stomach turn, and for the first time since he's been free, he has to fight the rage of the Winter Soldier, expanding, threatening to explode and send him on a vengeance fuelled killing spree. "When? Do you know who delivered it?" His voice is darker than usual, and the woman steps back just from the sound.

"I'm sorry," she squeaks. "It's been here for a couple of days, I think. I wasn't here when it was delivered." She hurries back behind her counter, putting a safe distance between them.

Bucky adjusts his stance, and forces his voice to sound kinder. "Thank you. Is there somewhere I can make a phone call, undisturbed?"

She nods and points to a nook behind the oversized fern in the corner. There's a sliding glass door that will provide some privacy.

Turning the envelope over in his left hand, Bucky is careful to not leave any more fingerprints on it. It is unmarked, but he knows people who can read things that no one else can see.

Whipping out his phone, he dials the first number in the contact list. He doesn't realise it, but he's shaking. The four seconds it takes for Sam to pick up are an excruciating eternity, and Bucky grips the door handle to keep himself from running off without a plan.

Before he can even say hello, Bucky wheezes: "They've got her, Sam!"

"Who?"

"Y/N! They've taken her!" He closes his eyes. The photo has burned into his mind.

"I'm on my way."

Bucky relaxes his grip on the door. There's a dent in the metal, and that makes him even angrier. They've made him lose control. He curses as he exits the tiny room, pacing over the floor, waiting for the voice of reason to arrive.

Being Sam, being Captain America, opens a lot of doors, so when he shows up at the hotel, requesting to look through the surveillance tapes – though it really is a demand; he's got a way with words, Bucky muses, thinking back to when he realised that what he first took as being soft, really isn't soft at all. Anyway, they all fawn over each other, fighting to be the one to give Cap access. Bucky can hardly watch.

"Give us a few minutes," Sam says with a smile, settling in front of the computer.

"Of course." The manager bows and closes the door.

Then Sam turns to Bucky. "Okay. When did you see her last?"

"Four days ago, right before we left on that goddamn mission." He wants to beat himself that he exposed you to danger, and he resists the urge to take out his irritation by slapping Sam over the head. Instead he settles on a flat, emotionless that he hopes conveys all his frustration.

"Right, so somewhere after last Thursday, then." Sam pushes a button, selects the right floor and presses play. Nothing happens for a while, and he pushes a new button, making the footage speed up.

"There!" Bucky shouts, pointing at the screen. There you are. Leaving your room with a large bag over your shoulder. Bucky smiles in spite of his fear. A soft expression on your face and your trusty art supplies at your side. Everything looks normal.

Fast forwarding through the footage, nothing out of the ordinary happens. You return around seven, looking a little bit tired, but happy enough. Food is brought to your room an hour later, and you don't go out again that night.

"Sensible girl," Sam comments, drawing Bucky out of his thoughts.

"Yeah. But she didn't know how much danger she was in."

The night passes in a blur. A drunk couple stumbles through the hallway around two in the morning, but other than that it's quiet, until you leave again around 10am, again with your bag over your shoulder. You look tired, yawning and dragging your feet. The bounce in your step is gone, Bucky notices, and he wonders if it has anything to do with your abduction.

They keep fast forwarding, but when the time stamp shows 11.30pm, Bucky's chest plummets. He knows you're not coming back.

Sam looks at him. “Calm down, man. You look like you’re about to explode!” he hisses, putting his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky shakes him off and glares. “Because I’m this close.”

“But that won’t do her any good, will it? We gotta keep our cool, don’t do anything rash.” Sam's voice is still calm. Bucky doesn't know how he does it.

"Fine." Bucky takes a deep breath, just how his therapist taught him. "Show me what direction she went."

Sam clicks and drags the front camera onto the screen. You stop outside for a few minutes, then head down the street towards the city centre. They follow you on the screen until you disappear from view.

There's a shoe shop on the corner where you turned, so after thanking the hotel manager for the help, they follow your moves through the city. The shoe shop doesn't have a quality video, but it's enough to recognise you. Tracking you through the streets feels like an endurance hunt, Bucky thinks, impatient to find out who took you and where you are. That's all he can focus on: to get you back. And god have mercy on your kidnappers if you're not okay. Eventually Sam and Bucky stop at a small restaurant, but they don't have surveillance at all.

"Okay. Let's head to that Starbucks," Bucky says, nodding across the road. "They're bound to have surveillance, right?"

Sam rolls his shoulders. "Let's go."

The video shows three large figures, lurking in the shadows in one of the side streets. They're watching as you enter the café, and when you exit with a large coffee in hand, the gang is ready. The footage jumps a bit, but it captures the terror in your face, and Bucky feels like throwing up. You're hauled into a waiting van, it's an unmarked, normal van, but as it speeds away, luck strikes. The camera got a clear shot of the number plate.

Bucky lets Sam handle the rest. He can't shake the guilt, the pit in his stomach that grows larger and larger. And his anger grows too. Why didn't anybody react, nobody can convince him that nobody heard or saw anything. He watches as Sam talks on the phone, already mentally punching your kidnappers to a pulp. The metal arm flexes involuntarily.

Sam puts down the phone and turns to Bucky. "Okay, so here's what they told me: The van isn't connected to anything, they didn't even have a name for me. It's probably a fake number plate. But they said it's been spotted driving to and from a warehouse not too far from here. Let's go suit up while we're waiting for the address."

Bucky exhales. They better hurry up with the address. You've been in captivity for far too long already.

_______________________________________________________________________

It's quiet in the building now. You don't know what time it is; they've taken all your stuff, but you know it's late. Your eyes sting, both from exhaustion and from wanting to cry, not to mention your contacts are getting dry, but you refuse to remove them – not being able to see would terrify you. But neither sleep nor tears come. Sitting on the cot, wrapped in the blanket they thankfully provided, you are too wound up to relax enough to sleep. What if someone comes in while you're out? There's not much chance to defend yourself, but at least if you're awake  you can try to put up a fight.

How long have you been here? It's hard to tell. After the first shock they've pretty much left you alone. Except for the interrogation a few hours later. They kept asking you about where Bucky is, what he's doing, details on his mission, but you told them, truthfully, that you don't know anything. And they seem to believe you. But they still won't let you go. You sigh and pull the blanket tighter around your shoulders. Even if you knew everything you wouldn't have told them anything, but you didn't say that out loud.

Suddenly there's a loud bang reverberating through the walls. Instinctively you flinch, trying to make yourself smaller. Your blood roar in your ears, and it feels like your heart is trying to beat its way through your rib cage. There's a pause – the silence is deafening, then someone yells. You hear gunshots. Heavy boots rush past your door. It's torture just listening to the fight, not knowing what will happen. What if there's a fire? Or what if you're abandoned here? Is this how you're gonna die?

The fight is getting closer. You drag the blanket over your head, locking your arms around your neck. Unfortunately it doesn't mute the sounds, and you have to remind yourself to keep breathing. Slowly the fight dies down, and for a moment everything is calm. You feel woozy, grateful that you're already sitting down, and you steel yourself for what comes next.

The door opens. Heavy boots slaps against the hard floor. Someone blocks out the light, and you feel a gentle hand on your shoulder, making you flinch and whimper.

A soft voice whispers in your ear. "Y/N?"

You forget to breathe again.

"Y/N," the voice repeats, coaxing you out of your makeshift cocoon.

You look up, and into the eyes of the man you never thought you'd see again. His face is blood-spattered, and his expression is a murderous rage, but the moment your eyes meet, he softens. "Bucky," you breathe, folding yourself out, and reaching for him like a toddler.

He scoops you up, holding you close as you begin to sob into his neck, and he rocks you back and forth until you calm a bit. "Are you hurt?"

Shaking your head, you climb down from his lap and looks over at Sam, hovering by the door. There's a look in his eyes that you can't quite decipher.

"You're bleeding," Bucky says, touching your lip gingerly.

"Oh." You don't know what else to say, as he helps you up on your feet. His arm stays around your shoulders all the way out into open air, and you lean into his embrace. The building is littered with bodies, some are definitely dead, others are being detained by soldiers dressed in black. Your knees buckle from the sight.

"Hey, I've got you," Bucky murmurs into your hair.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For coming to get me."

"Of course," Sam says, offering you a reassuring smile. "Why shouldn't we?"

You exhale shakily through your nose. "I thought you were busy saving the world and all."

Bucky pulls you closer.

"Don't you know?" Sam asks quietly, so no one else can hear. "You are his world."

_______________________________________________________________________

@schwarzwaelder-kirschtorte

[heresathreebee]

Brackish and Briny Waters (two)

[Ralph Lamont X Female Reader]

Summary: Settling into your new house Part 1 Masterlist Part 3

Tags: +17 | 1.7k words | just really fucking domestic stuff, one (1) bad attitude, presumptuous behavior, unprotected morning sex, more remodeling.

AN: I kind of know where I'm going with this. The conflict will be subtle at first but it's there I promise.

The first day goes by fast and for Ralph meeting every single person on staff in this prestigious school was like trying cheeses and wines in a vineyard– fun at first but you get a stomach ache because somebody forgot to tell you not to swallow and there are just so many of them each more rich than the last. By the time he crosses the threshold to his new home, he's exhausted and annoyed. 

"I told you not to unpack without me." 

You look at him from the kitchen and shrug. "I needed stuff, baby. I already wrote a list of things to work on in this 'bare bones' house you put us up in and I was bored." 

You don't care for his attitude but offer him the covered plate anyways. "I saved you some dinner." 

All at once, Ralphie's anger melted from his face. He shuffled his tired feet across the still empty living room and pulled you into his side. The plate was warm (still warm or recently warmed up, he couldn't tell) and his stomach growled. 

"M sorry," he said, "I don't mean to be an asshole." 

You smile your forgiveness. "Long day?" 

"Yes," he hisses. "I already can't wait for the weekend." 

You chuckle. "Oh come on, it can't be that bad. Give it a chance, baby!" 

"As you wish." 

After eating, Ralph is right to sleep despite his insistence you finish packing together tonight. A part of you thinks it's the climate here– fresh sea salt air and less artificial light to disrupt the body's natural sleep patterns. You took off his shoes and empty his pockets because he was just 'resting his eyes for a moment,' then slid in right next to him. He's fine without a blanket, but you pull the back of the quilt over your rear and curl into his side. Sleep comes easier tonight than last night and you dream of wallpaper and wood smoke cologne. 

DAY THREE

The rest of the week gets easier for the both of you. You arrived on Monday and unpack the bigger furniture together by Wednesday with the help of some locals. Ralph is getting to study the lesson plan for Ms. Lewis' math class and establishing a gentle authority with his temporary students. He is still excited for the weekend, intent to help you figure out what to do with the walls of the house. 

"Has anybody come to see you at the house yet?," he asks you Thursday night. 

You pause dicing onions to think. "Besides the neighbors to the north and those Vayle boys? No." 

Ralphie raises his eyebrows and drops them, an involuntary gesture made more for himself than you. 

You put a hand on your hip. "Why?" 

Ralphie waves you off and continues mixing the meat with the spices. "Nothing. It's just everybody and their fucking moms has been asking me about you." 

"What?" This was news to you. "Why?" 

"Because they're nosy," he replies, "asking me about my whole life story and I let slip I had a wife and then they just wouldn't shut up about it." 

You swat his shoulder. "Well don't sound so depressed about it. Do you not like having a wife?" 

"No!" Ralph huffs and turns to look at you as he says, "I just hate that every single one of them bugs me about a million personal things and then I mention you and it's the only thing they can talk about now." 

Ralph turns back to stirring the pan and grumbles to himself, "might tell them to fuck off and just hoard you forever…" 

It clicks in your head at least a bit. Ralph's a born and bred city kid. In the city nobody cares who you are, what you like, or where you're from. Strangers don't want to be anything more than strangers. Their eternal social motto is 'don't waste my time' and anyone who acts differently is probably scheming something. 

You chuckle and rest your chin on his shoulder. "You're forgetting these are a different breed of people. Rich and educated socialites more over but suburban, maybe even rural. We're probably the first new thing to happen to them in decades, and communities like this don't have a 'mind your business and I'll mind mine' attitude." 

Ralphie flicks you a look but you know he knows you're right. It doesn't mean he has to like it but at least he understands it's not malicious, at least not inherently. It's out of his element, a little out of yours too, but you'll have to adapt and play by their rules if you want to stay here for a while. 

The dining room table can seat six, but your Ralphie takes a seat right next to you at a corner so he can hold your hand while you eat. Homemade tacos ease your apprehensions a bit and you go over the remodeling plans with him until midnight. Getting ready to sleep, you wear your thinnest shift and wrap around him like an octopus, your warm core brushing over his barely clothed manhood in temptation. 

Ralphie hums, tucking a stray hair back into your bonnet. "We need to get up early tomorrow." 

It's a weak protest. The two of you keep rocking into each other and sighing at the feeling of friction but eventually fall asleep despite the delightful buzz of sexual energy surrounding you. You do wake up when Ralph flips you under him and sucks a few marks into your neck.

You spread your legs to accommodate his breadth, feeling him settle deliciously and glancing at the bedside clock. It's barely 5 o' clock and the sun is rising. You gasp as you feel Ralphie's cock slide into you and he's met with little resistance. You two have sex for the first time since you moved and it's been so long that the affair is short lived. 

Ralph already has an apology on his lips but you shush him and come a moment later with your fingers brushing your clit in tandem. He peppers you with a dozen more kisses as silent promises to make it up to you. 

You shower together, barely bumping elbows as this bathroom is way bigger than your New York City apartment ever was. You chat idly about the weekend and the town and when you're ready to leave, you grab the manila folder where you store the plans for the remodel. You've even got samples from the wallpaper, only taking the ones you like and want to replace. 

"I know we probably won't find exact replicas but I want to at least find something similar." 

Ralph squeezes your thigh. "Ok, ok. We'll try." 

While this town doesn't have a McDonald's (the town over does and it's fancy for some reason), it does have a Home Depot (also pretty fancy). You know you'll need wood and screws and glass panes to finish that solar room but that's not the goal for today. 

Ralph skips right over the green paint swatch section to the creams. He's rambling about paint brand pros and cons, he did his research on the way in since you were driving and he brought the book from the school library. You follow and half listen. 

"What?" 

Ralph finally catches on to your soft smile. You glance around to make sure no one is in earshot because god forbid these gossipers over hear your conversation right now. 

"I guess I got you pretty excited last night, huh," you say with a sense of pride. Ralph feels the opposite about his performance this morning. 

"I just… I think it's just been a while." He occupies his hands by grabbing every single free swatch sample on the shelf and says, "I promise I will make it up to you." 

You roll your eyes in a not unkind way. "It's fine, babe, really. I uh… it feels kind of good to know I still have that kind of effect on you…" 

Ralphie sports a smile of his own and puts you under his arm. "Of course you do, sugar." 

He leans down to plant a kiss on your lips when you're interrupted by a bright voice. It's so startling that your husband bounces away from you. He stares wide eyed at the woman who interrupted you and he gets that dark look in his eye that only you can see. 

"Jesus, Julie," he tries his best not to growl her name. "This is Julie, she's a teacher at the school. Julie this… is… my wife." 

Julie makes a noise like a whistle. "Oh my god you are so much more beautiful than I imagined! Ralph doesn't have a picture of you in his office!" 

"It's on my desk," he huffs, "it's the one turned towards me." 

"And why would you do that?" 

"...so I can look at it while I work…?" 

Julie's… a little too hands on for just meeting you. You're too reserved to say something about it so you sling a loose arm around her back and hope Ralph doesn't say something for you. 

"Hi Julie, it's nice to finally meet you," you tell her. "Ralph's been slowly but surely introducing me to the concept of his coworkers." 

"I can't believe we haven't met before now! Ralph keeping you all to himself, me and the other teachers are just so curious about you," she coos. It feels almost put on, like overindulging in sweet to play up her first impression. You let it slide though, maybe it's just your city lens. 

"Well, uh, once we've got the house fixed up a bit, we can plan a housewarming party," you suggest. "But not a day before and you may quote me on that, miss!" 

Julie laughed and gave you her phone number 'in case you need anything at all.' Ralph breathed easy once she finally left and you tug his ear gently. "She's veeerry friendly." 

Ralphie shoots you a glare like you'd made a joke he didn't find funny and you go back to debating the paint to use for your walls eagerly.

@escape-your-grape @hoodoo12 @softbeej @go-commander-kim @beetlesstuff @imma-fucking-nerd​ @werwulfy​

[blacknight1230]

Dreaming of You

Ponyboy Curtis Imagine

Prompt: In this world, you have dreams where you can meet your soulmate. But when you wake up, you don’t remember what they look like, only small things, like the sound of their voice or the smell of their perfume/cologne.  

The sky was the bluest blue imaginable, stretching as far as the eye could see. I was surrounded by the heavens, no ground beneath my feet, yet I stood there as if a god had risen me up to spoke with them in their land. I tore my eyes away from the calm stratosphere, my vision focusing on the figure in front of me. 

I couldn’t see his or her face, but I somehow knew this person was a female. “Can you recite that poem that you like for me again?” she said, her voice angelic and soft. “Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold,” I recited by memory. I could feel her presence get closer, yet her figure was still blurry. “Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour,” she chimed. I wanted to touch her, but I was afraid my hand would go through her, like a ghost. “Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief,” I continued. She was in front of me now, so close I could smell the scent of (favorite perfume scent) on her skin. I felt her wrap me in her arms and I returned the action. The warm of her body, the softness of her skin, the scent of her shampoo, enveloped me as I felt soft lips ghost my own. “So dawn goes down to day, Nothing gold can stay.” Those soft lips touched my own and I pressed back in a sweet kiss. 

The early morning sun woke me up from my slumber. My eyes fluttered close, not used to the bright sunlight shining through my bedroom window and onto my face. I sat up from my bed and rubbed the remaining sleep from my eyes. “Another dream,” I breathlessly said to myself. I could still feel her touch on skin, her body in my arms. I felt like I lost something I wanted - something I needed. 

Sodapop walked into the room as I got out of bed. “Morning, little brother,” he said cheerfully. “Morning, Soda,” I replied and opened up the dresser to gather clothes to wear for the day. “Hey, are you alright, Pony?” Soda asked, frowning at my introverted demeanor. “Yeah. I just had a dream about her last night?” “Your soulmate?” I just nodded as I pulled my sleeping shirt over my head. “I know how you feel, Pony. I still dream about my soulmate,” Soda said gently. 

“When am I going to finally meet her? I’m sick and tired of having her in arms, only to have her ripped away from me when I wake up,” I rambled. I could still smell her scent on me, but it was already fading. “Cheer up, Pony. Maybe you’ll meet her today? And if not today, you’ll meet her one day. You just have to live without her for a little bit longer. Okay,” Soda reassured me. “Okay.” “Good, now go take a shower and grease up that hair of yours. You’ve got school to go to and no way is Darry going to allow you become a dropout like me,” he piped up, ruffling my hair up. “Yeah, yeah, just get to the DX already will ya!” Soda put on his DX cap then left me alone, heading out the front door with a shout to Darry about where he’s going. I went into the bathroom and started my shower up. 

The steps leading up to the high school’s main entrance was contested with teenagers. Male and female alike, either stood in certain clique groups, talking to friends, or hurried to homeroom class. A couple of Socs glared at me as I passed them on my way inside, yet I was used to it. I was successfully able to get to my locker, putting in my combination and opening the metal door. Grabbing my books for the next few classes, I shut the locker door and turned around, about to head to my English class. Immediately, I bumped into someone, causing that person to drop their books. “Oof, I’m sorry!” the person cried. “No, no, it was my fault. I should have known someone was behind me,” I quickly apologized. I got on my knees besides them, who I saw a was girl, and helped her gather her books. As I picked up the numerous textbooks and notebooks, I caught a whiff a familiar scent. It was (favorite flowery perfume scent). Can it be? I thought. The mysterious girl had gotten all her things back together, standing up from the tiled school floor. I was finally able to get a real look at her. 

She had (color) hair that fell in (long/short) (curls/straight locks/waves). The natural makeup on her (skin tone) face complemented her (eye color) orbs, they being what stood out to me the most. I noticed she wore a simple (favorite color) short sleeved blouse and (2nd favorite color) knee length skirt, paired with white knee high socks and black & white saddle shoes. I could tell she wasn’t a greaser, but she also wasn’t a Soc, and I didn’t recognize her from the regular faces I see roaming the school. 

When I looked into her eyes, I felt an immediate connection and I hoped he felt it too when she looked into my greenish-grey eyes. We kept eye contact as we both got up from the floor, standing at our full heights. I saw that she was (taller/shorter/the same height) than me. Before I could ask the girl her name, the bell rang for the start of class. The girl realized she was going to be late for class and quickly turned around, sprinting away towards her class without another word. As she did so, I caught a whiff of the familiar smell of (favorite perfume smell). 

Snap out of it, Ponyboy. It might not be her, my conscious told me, trying to persuade me that the girl was not my soulmate. I couldn’t really focus on it as I also had to hurry to my first class of the day. Luckily, I was able to get to class right before the bell rang, symbolizing the start of class. “Mr. Curtis, please take a seat,” Mr. Syme said, turning away front he chalkboard and towards me. I bowed my head down in embarrassment and hurried to a desk. 

Mr. Syme got right into teaching the class, standing in front of a podium and started talking. “Today we have a new student in our class. As per custom, we’ll each read out a favored poem to the class, starting with our new student,” he said. “Come on up, Ms. (l/n).” 

Up comes the girl he ran into in the hallway, which not only caused my heart to stop in his chest, but caused his brain to go haywire. As I mentally shut down, the new girl introduced herself to the class. “Hi, I’m (y/n) (l/n). Um, I really didn’t expect having to do this, so I’ll just read a poem I’ve memorized,” the new girl introduced herself, before she started to recite said poem. 

“Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour.” 

I recognized that she was reciting ‘Nothing Gold Can Stay,’ the poem I shared with his soul mate in his dreams. It’s really her. She’s my soulmate, Ponyboy thought to himself. 

“Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.”

She finished and the class started to applaud. “Magnificent, Ms. (l/n). Just magnificent,” Mr. Syme congratulated. “I would have never thought you would have quoted Robert Frost. Where did you learn to recite such poetry?” “Well, my soulmate recited it to me in my dreams once. It’s been my favorite ever since,” (y/n) explained, bashfully avoiding looking anyone in the eyes. “Ah, I understand. Please, take your seat now, Ms. (l/n),” Mr. Syme said. The (h/c) haired girl took her seat, which was in the next row over and several seats ahead. 

I couldn’t help but keep my eyes on her, studying her as she gracefully took her seat and got out her materials for class on her desk. (Y/n) seemed to be able to feel me staring at her, for she glanced from the side at me unexpectedly. I immediately put my head down, avoiding the girl’s gaze, my cheeks red at the embarrassment of the beautiful girl catching me staring. Class went on and I felt as if time was barely passing at all, wanting nothing more for class to be over and talk to (y/n), needing to find out if she really was my soulmate. 

Eventually, the bell did ring, class ending, and everybody packing up their things before rushing out of the classroom and into the hallway. I hurried to reach the new girl, but I lost her in the crowd of moving students in the hallway, not a sign in sight of where she was or where she went.  My heart panged in disappointment, as I went to my next class at a moderate pace, no longer caring about it. Hopefully, I will see her at lunch, I thought. 

~ Time Skip ~  

I hoped to see (y/n) at the school’s cafeteria, but I couldn’t see her in the mass of student bodies. So I left the crowded space, ignoring the stares of the Socs as I walked past the teens from the West Side, letting out a sigh of relief when I made it to the open outside. Seeing as I didn’t have anywhere else to go, I made my way to the DX to eat my lunch in peace and talk to Sodapop about my day so far. Eventually I got to the gas station and walked into the garage. 

“Hey, Pony!” Sodapop greeted from behind the counter. “Steve! Pony’s here!” he shouted towards his friend. Said young man was underneath a Camaro, only grunted in response. “So, anything eventful happen today, Pony?” Sodapop asked as I was getting a Coke from the cold drinks display in the car shop, before returning to the counter to pay for the drink. “Yeah. We got a new classmate today. No idea where she’s from, though,” I told him as I paid with change. Steve rolled out from underneath the car, saying, “Is she a babe at least? If she is, then I might just go back to school!” I rolled my eyes at my brother’s best friend, popping open my Coke and taking a swing from it. 

“Mr. Syme made us all read out our favorite poem today in class,” I continued telling my brother. “Oh, really. Did he make the new girl read first?” Sodapop asked as he rubbed his hands with a dirty rag. “Yeah. She read ‘Nothing Gold Can Stay,’ by Robert Frost. That actually got me thinking. I think she might be ...” I was interrupted by the sound a bell jingling, meaning someone just walked into the shop. “Hey, darling. Do you need help with your car or something?” I heard Steve ask the new customer. “I’m just here for a sodapop. Thanks anyway,” they replied. 

My heart stopped, as I recognized the voice, and slowly turned around. Just like I suspected, the new girl, (y/n), was reaching into the drink display for something to buy. My blood rushed in my ears as she started to come to the counter, and I quickly turned back around, a blush on my face as I tried to make it look like I just wasn’t ogling at her. “One Dr. Pepper,” she said, finally standing next to me as she paid for her drink. “Also, do you guys have any potato chip bags?” “Hold on a second. I think we have some in stock. I’ll just go get you some,” Sodapop told her. He left the counter, leaving me alone with the new girl. 

It was silent for a while, as I tried not to have a mini heart attack, when the new girl spoke up. “Hey, you’re Ponyboy right?” (y/n) said. “Yeah. T-That’s me,” I stuttered. “You’re in my English class. And I think you also were the one that bumped into me and made me drop books,” she pointed out. I  really wanted to curl up in a ball of shame, regretting the morning’s events. “I’m so sorry about that. I wasn’t paying attention and ...” “It’s okay! I was just messing with you!” she laughed, a kind smile on her face. 

Soda returned to the register and told the new girl the price, which she silently paid. “Well, I guess I’ll see you back at school, Pony,” (y/n) said. She grabbed the items she paid for and turned around to leave. “Wait!” I cried out before she could leave the DX. (Y/n) turned around, shocked at my outburst. “I ... I ... Do you want to eat lunch together?” I struggled to say. I want to tell her that she’s my soulmate, I was thinking in the back of my head. But not with Steve and Soda around. They would probably ruin it. (Y/n) looked a bit unsettled, taking a moment to contemplate of what to do, before answering me. “Um ... sure, whatever you like,” she answered, seeming a bit unsure. I think I’ve scared her, I thought. I think I messed everything up already. 

I allowed (y/n) to walk through the door to the DX first, following closely behind her. I could hear Steve and Soda snickering behind me, but I ignored them. I would deal with them later. As soon as we got out into the warm Oklahoma air, I found an unoccupied picnic table that was set up for those passing through to eat before leaving town, motioning (y/n) to come sit with me. So there I was nervously fidgeting into my seat with my possible soulmate siting across for me. To say my nerves were frazzled was an understatement. (Y/n) quietly ate her chips,  occasionally taking sip from her pop. Go on, Ponyboy, I silently urged myself. You can do it. 

“So ... sorry for yelling at you earlier. I just didn’t know how to get you to talk to me,” I apologized, sweat accumulating on the back of my neckline. “Oh, um, that’s okay. You just spooked me, that’s it. No harm down,” (y/n) replied, avoiding eye contact. It was awkwardly silent for a moment. “Um, so, where are from? I mean where did you used to live before you came to Tulsa?” I spit out hasitedly. “I’m originally from (hometown). My father got a new job out in this area and dragged my family here for it,” (y/n) explained. “Oh, that’s neat. How’s the town for you so far?” “Well, it's a bit different than my hometown. I mean, we really didn’t have Greasers and ,what do you call the upper class kids, Socs?” (y/n) answered, a little unsure if she was using the proper term at the end. “Yeah, your right. The Socs and Greasers never get along. I advise trying to avoid any of the drama between the two if you’re able to,” I warned. “Duly noted. If you don’t mind me asking, which ones are you a part? The Socs or Greasers, I mean.” “I’m a Greaser. Well, I hang out with lots of Greasers but I don’t really act like them. I’m actually in a lot of classes with Socs,” I tried to explain. “That’s interesting. I’m in classes like that, too, but I’m not a Soc either. At least I don’t think I am. Honestly, I don’t care who’s a Greaser or a Soc and so on. To me it just matters who you are, as a person that is like.” I nodded in agreement, trying not to give away how she was making me feel. My heart seemed to fill up with admiration as I started to become more attracted to her. The way the sun made her shine, giving her an almost angelic appearance, as her (hair length) (h/c) glimmer and her (e/c) eyes light up. 

We continued to eat our respective lunches in comfortable silence. It was only as I finished my Coke did (y/n) say something. “This is going to sound weird,” she began, making me to stop sipping my beverage. “But I feel like I know you. Like, I’ve meet you before and such. Am I just nuts or ...?” she continued, trailing off as she began to second guess herself. “No, it’s ok! I feel the same way!” I reassured her. 

I then looked down and saw that I subconsciously grabbed a hold of her soft (s/c) hands that were on the table. (y/n) noticed, too, and I felt her grasp mine tighter in her hold. “Ponyboy ... I ...” she tried to say, looking deep into my green-gray eyes. “(Y/n), I have to tell you this, even if I’m wrong, but I think we’re soulmates,” I finally admitted. “Soulmates?” she said breathlessly. There was only one thing I could think of that could prove it to her. 

“Nature’s first green is gold,” I started to recite, knowing the words by heart. 

“Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour.” 

Before I could continued, (y/n) chimed in. ““Then leaf subsides to leaf.” “So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day ...” “Nothing gold can stay,” we recited in unison. 

Time seemed to stop around us as we revelled in our shared enlightenment. I could only focus on her and she on me as we finally confirmed that we were indeed each other soulmates. “Pony ...” (y/n) trailed as we slowly each towards each other. “(y/n) ...” I muttered as I closed the small distance between us. Our lips meet in a sweet, gentle kiss and my heart soared. I could taste the sodapop she had before on her lips and a hint of a distinct flavor. (Favorite sweet/fruit) and I longed to taste it more. But (y/n) was the first to pull away, no matter how long I wanted to continue kissing her, we separated. 

I huffed as I felt the electricity shared between us from the kiss, watching as (y/n) settled back into her seat. “Ponyboy, would you ...” she started to ask. But I cut her off, already knowing what she was going to ask. “Yes. I would love to be your boyfriend,” I told her, not being able to hold smile on my lips back. (Y/n) mirrored my smile and she got up from my seat, causing me to do the same. We reached for each other’s hand, holding tightly onto each other as we started to walk back to class. I found her, my thoughts screamed. I found my soulmate!

THE END

[sparklydreamies]

Stray Kids 8 Part Series ~ (1) Bang Chan: Perfection

Group: Stray Kids

Member: Bang Chan

Genre: Light angst + hurt/comfort

Word Count: 3,300+

Summary: Bang Chan can’t afford to take breaks in this industry. 

Stray Kids 8 Part Series MASTERLIST

A/n: This is the beginning of an 8 part Stray Kids hurt/comfort series!! I hope that you will all enjoy this a lot :) also writing this sort of theme about Chan absolutely killed me because this man deserves the entire world ;-;

TW: This story contains a descriptive anxiety attack.

Through the blurry, sleepy view his eyes gave him, Bang Chan could barely make out the small, digital clock on his desk that read 3:14. He groaned softly as he resumed his work on what was soon to be Stray Kids’ next title track. 

Normally, Chan considers himself a person who is able to work fast and diligently at the same time, which often comes in handy in an industry that demands perfection. Yet, as he sat slouched in his desk chair, fiddling with his laptop to try and create a proper bass line, he began to feel pressured. 

For a producing idol, having writer’s block was a death sentence. Nothing had the power to overwhelm Chan with the heavy feeling of anxiety like a deadline for a demo due at the end of the week which has barely been started.

It’s not that the song hasn’t been started, it’s that it has been started and restarted too many times to count after Chan deemed the previous draft unacceptable. Chan’s standards for himself might seem overkill to some people, but Chan calls it being a perfectionist. 

Everyone, including Bang Chan knows that real perfection was not possible for a man to achieve, however that didn’t stop Chan from striving for it. In a way, it was a blessing and a curse. Being a perfectionist meant that Chan was never finished with anything until he was one hundred percent proud of it. This demo was not an exception. 

As Chan listened to the basic beats he had recorded already, he began to drift out of consciousness. 

He had to finish the track. He was so tired. Maybe if he took a twenty minute nap he would feel better. No, he would just end up sleeping all night. Wake up. Don’t fall asleep. Don’t fall asleep.

He was yanked out of his dreamy state by the harsh sound of his phone vibrating on his desk. He took a second to gather his surroundings before checking the text message sent to him. 

Changbinnie: Where are you?

Chan groaned. Changbin has been on his ass all week about taking care of himself as if he was made of glass. Changbin should know that this was how Chan worked. He always pushes himself to his breaking point and faces the brink of exhaustion in order to create the best music he could. There was no other way for him to make music. 

Channie: Studio

Chan cracked his back against his chair before getting back to work. It was only three in the morning, which was hardly late enough for Chan to admit defeat and give into his drooping eyelids. 

He didn’t get it. Music always came so easily to him. All of the lyrics he tried to write sounded too awkward for his liking. All of the beats were too overdone and basic. He was frustrated and tired, and far too busy to deal with Changbin’s nagging. 

Sure, Chan hasn’t been around for many meals during the past few days. Lord knows he hasn’t seen the inside of the dorm in three days straight unless it was to shower and change. Chan scoffed thinking of how he would react if it was one of the other members working to this extent. He would physically restrain them to their beds if that was necessary. He was different, though. He was the leader and the eldest. He didn’t have the time to worry about himself. He was responsible for all of their careers. He could handle a little bit of extra work. 

His hands were shaking slightly as he recorded another chord progression for the pre-chorus. At this point, Chan didn’t even know if they were shaking from exhaustion or from the sheer amount of caffeine he had coursing through his system. 

Chan let out another exasperated noise of defeat as he listened to the choppy way the verse led into the pre-chorus. He felt the frustration take right to his heart. His head was pounding, and he gripped the strands of his hair to ground himself. 

He was okay. He had pulled songs out of his ass before, he could do it now. It was going to be fine. Maybe if he added a lead-up sound into the pre-chorus, things would flow nicer. 

Why did he feel his eyes filling up with tears? He had no time to feel sorry for himself. Nothing was working out, and crying about it wouldn’t change the fact that his head was completely empty of original song ideas. 

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands before focusing again on the track in front of him. 

He hadn’t even started on the lyrics. 

The sense of panic was far too strong, and his mind was screaming for him to buck up, focus harder, create something that was acceptable. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts again by the sound of his studio door opening. 

“You’re going to kill yourself, I hope you know,” Changbin said quietly as he made his way over to his usual chair beside Chan. 

Chan tried to give a somewhat interested look to the younger rapper, but all he could manage was a slight head nod. He was still focused on the colourful lines of beats and chords on his laptop. He refrained from looking directly at the younger boy, not wanting to show any signs of the intense feelings that crushed his chest. 

“Jesus christ, you actually look like shit,” Changbin grabbed Chan’s chin gently and brought his gaze towards away from the track which was causing so much grief, “why are you doing this?” Chan’s gaze remained unfocused, looking at nothing in particular.

Chan took a second to process what he was saying. Why was he doing this? Because it was his job. Because the company, the members and the fans were all waiting for him to do his job properly. 

He wanted to say all of that, but what came out from his lips was “I have to”.

“That’s bullshit,” Changbin said, “I’ve been warning you about taking care of yourself-- Chan you’re shaking”. He moved to grab a hold of Chan’s trembling fingers. “You haven’t been eating, you haven’t been sleeping, you are a shell of yourself, and for what?” 

“For our jobs, Binnie” Chan pulled his hands away from the other boy, turning himself back towards the screen. He didn’t want the younger to see the fresh pool of salty tears threatening to fall down his cheeks without consent. 

Changbin sighed. “You’re more important than a deadline. You know that, right?” 

“What do you want me to do?” Chan asked, “I'm okay”. His voice was reduced to nothing more than a whisper. 

Chan didn’t need to look over to know that Changbin was thoroughly upset. Whether it was with him or the company, Chan didn’t know. All he knew was that when something upset Changbin, the aura of the room shifted. The air felt heavy and thick. 

“I’m worried about you,” Changbin said, placing his hand on Chan’s shoulder. The older boy involuntarily flinched at the unexpected contact. “I woke up in the middle of the night to see that you aren’t in your bed again, and I just don’t know what to do anymore,”

“Don’t”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t be worried about me,” Chan swiveled in his chair to finally meet Changbin’s gaze for the first time that night, “it’s not your issue,” He was expecting frustration, anger or fury, but he was startled when all he could read in his brother’s eyes was shock and sadness.

“You don’t...” he trailed off, “you don’t sound like yourself...” Changbin slowly raised himself out of his chair. He was avoiding Chan’s eyes. 

“All you’re doing is distracting me,” Chan accused, “I can handle myself, I don’t need you worrying about me like my mother,” 

Changbin’s entire body was stiff. He looked uncomfortable, like he was trying to figure out what to say, but couldn’t. 

Why couldn’t he see that this was what Chan needed? Why couldn’t he see that this was best? Why did he have to stick his nose in everybody’s business like he has any say in their activities? 

“You should leave now,” Chan said coldly, “I have to get back to work,” 

Changbin hesitated for a moment, seemingly mulling over what his next words should be. 

“You’re upset that you are having trouble with a song... Big deal,” Changbin said, still quietly, but with so much more bite to his tone, which shocked Chan. “We have an entire group of kids at home who need their leader. You think that they don’t feel anxious these days? We all feel stressed, Chan” 

“Bin-” 

“These children look up to you because you’re a damn good leader,” Changbin began moving anxiously around the room, “they see their... role model throwing his health away for a song, and they think that should be the standard. It is sick, and it shouldn’t have to go that far,” 

Chan felt the pressure in his head return at the words Changbin was saying. “You don’t have any right to bring them into this--”

“You know I found out Jeongin’s been skipping meals?” Changbin’s voice was steadily rising. His face was darkening with frustration that was hidden earlier.

Chan sat in stunned silence. Jeongin has been skipping meals? For how long? Why didn’t Chan realize this before? Was he sick? Did he need a councelor? Was he self conscious? 

Before Chan got a chance to ask any of these questions, Changbin continued on his rant. 

“All of the kids are stressed because that’s what happens before a comeback! I don’t give a damn if you want to ruin yourself for your music, because I get it. I do too. But I am not going to let you create a bad example for the kids. I can’t and I won’t,” 

Chan finally found the strength in his legs to stand up and look at Changbin face to face. He could see that Changbin was furious by the fire in his eyes and the red colour that was taking over his skin. 

“You have no right how to tell me to live, you don’t know what being the leader is like!” Chan snapped, shoving his finger into Changbin’s rapidly rising and falling chest, “I am doing this for the kids, okay?” 

“If you honestly cared about them,” Changbin shoved Chan back away from him, causing the leader to stumble before gaining his balance on his desk chair, “you would make sure that they knew their health always comes first. This is a dangerous game, Chan! And sooner or later you are going to lose,”

“I think you should leave,” Chan said for the second time that night. He had enough. This was all so that Stray Kids could be the best group they can be, yet Changbin is acting like Chan is a maniac for being a perfectionist. 

Changbin was stunned. “Be that way.” he mumbled before ultimately leaving the studio. Before ultimately leaving Chan alone. 

The moment the door clicked shut behind the younger boy, Chan muffled his screams of frustration with his hands. The tears that have been on edge for a while now began streaming down his face, making tracks that felt like they burned the soft skin. 

He was mad. No, mad was an understatement. He was upset. Furious. Angry. Pissed off. Hysterical. Any of those synonyms could describe the feelings that Chan felt. His head was pounding, and the pressure was back worse than ever. 

He felt guilty because Changbin was right. He didn’t even notice that Jeongin wasn’t eating. He didn’t deserve to be a leader. He should quit. He should go to the company and tell them he failed. 

Chan began pacing around the room, suddenly feeling like the walls were too small. 

His gaze fell on the small, white laptop that was causing his pain, and he felt white hot anger and frustration. With a cry of anguish, he slammed the screen shut. 

He pulled at his hair so forcefully he wouldn’t be surprised if it ripped from his scalp. His chest felt so tight. 

The laptop. He shut it so hard... What if he shattered the screen? With a whimper, he raised the screen up to see that it was still in good condition. The contents of the screen however, were not. 

Chan felt the air leave his lungs when he saw he got bounced out of the software. He felt like his world was crashing down around him. 

With shaky hands, he moved the mouse to open the software again. Chan prayed to whatever deity there was up there that he didn’t just lose all of the progress that he most definitely didn’t press save for. 

The one attempt of a song that Chan didn’t hate ended up deleting from his laptop, never to fully develop into a proper song. 

That was the final straw for Chan. 

All at once, it seemed like the Earth’s supply of oxygen vanished. His hands flew desperately to his hair in an attempt to pull himself out of the spiral he was in. 

He was full on sobbing, clutching his knees to his chest once his legs gave out from under him. He struggled for breath on his studio floor. He was so tired. He wanted to sleep so bad. 

It felt like his body was being compressed, and he didn’t know how to save himself. He felt hopeless and weak, crying over some stupid lost progress. His world was shattering. 

Your work is gone.

Changbin hates you.

Jeongin isn’t eating because of you.

The members don’t want you as their leader.

The fans know you’re a fraud.

You’re a horrible idol.

You don’t deserve to be here.

These thoughts were ringing in Chan’s ears, bouncing around his skull. Chan cried out again, burying his face into the carpet, trying to breathe. 

He needs help, but he doesn’t deserve it. He brought this on himself, and now he’s actually compelled to inconvenience another person with this. The track was gone, his members hated him, and he was broken. 

Chan’s entire forehead was slick with sweat, and he felt his body tremble. He was a weak, worthless fool. He was clawing at any part of him that he could. He felt so weak and alone, sobbing his heart out on the floor. 

He didn’t know exactly how long he spent curled up in a ball beside his desk before he was able to calm his heart rate down enough to process thoughts. He needed someone. He needed someone badly, but the weight of shame kept him seated against the wall. 

He wanted to call Changbin and apologize so badly, but with how immature and selfish he had been acting, Chan didn’t deserve the kindness and support the younger boy would inevitably give him. The guilt of how he treated the other boy began to eat away at the shame. 

With a spinning head, Chan hoisted himself upwards enough to grab his phone from the top of his desk. The time on the screen read 4:53, and Chan desperately hoped that Changbin was still awake. 

Without hesitating enough to psyche himself out, Chan pressed the “call” icon, and waited. He tried to slow down his breathing enough so that Changbin wouldn’t know he was crying. 

“What do you want?”

Chan was startled at Changbin’s greeting, almost stuttering his response. “I... I’m sorry,” was all that Chan could manage to say. 

“You should be,” 

Chan cringed at the bitterness in the other’s voice, but remained calm. “Can you come?” Chan’s voice was shaking slightly, and there was a beat of silence from the other end of the line. 

“Are you crying?” 

“No,” Chan denied, biting down on his closed fist in a sad attempt to stifle the sounds that were threatening to escape from his throat.

“Are you okay? Fuck I was almost home, but I’m coming back, okay? Just wait for me,” 

Chan felt another set of hot tears trail down his cheeks, which sucked because he thought he didn’t have any more tears left in him. He wanted Changbin to come back to him, but not because he was afraid that Chan couldn’t handle simple emotions. “Okay,” he answered, and as soon as he felt the tightness in his throat, he hung up the call. Changbin didn’t need to hear him sob. 

Chan felt himself start to slip into his spiral again, and slapped himself in the cheeks. He needed it to ground himself. 

Just breathe. 

Chan counted all of the breaths that he took until Changbin came. He tensed up once he felt a soft hand on his shoulder and a face next to his. He was expecting Changbin to be mad, however the boy keeps surprising him. 

There were faint wrinkles of worry on Changbin’s forehead as he held a serious gaze with the blubbering boy in front of him. His touch was irritating to Chan, who shrugged the hand off his shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry,” Changbin whispered, trying to meet Chan’s eyes. 

Chan raised his eyes. “Why are you sorry?” he asked, sniffling and rubbing the tears away from his abused and stinging eyes. Changbin didn’t have anything to apologize for; it was Chan who was stupidly self-destructive. 

Changbin moved so that he was sitting beside Chan, his back against the studio wall. “I was too harsh. I should have been more patient, I know you’re stressed,” he sighed. Of course Changbin had to be an angel. 

“You... you were right,” Chan admitted. 

“Bang Chan? Admitting I’m right?” Changbin teased, “that’s a first,”

Chan playfully shoved Changbin, and then moved to rest his head on the younger’s shoulder. The atmosphere was lighter now that Changbin was there to relieve the pain. 

“I should have been a better leader,” Chan whispered, “I’m sorry,” 

Changbin surely didn’t miss the way his voice faltered at the end of his statement. Chan felt his eyes get heavier, the post-panic attack fatigue getting to him. 

“You’re a fucking amazing leader,” Changbin replied, “I’m sorry for being harsh. Although I am not sorry about telling you off for setting a bad example because I know that you can do better,”

“’S fair,” Chan slurred. 

“Look at me,” Chan gave a half-hearted, half-interested moan, “Christopher, I said look at me,” Changbin commanded, grabbing Chan’s chin and bringing it to his face, “You are perfect.” 

Chan searched Changbin’s eyes for lies, but was met with nothing but the sincerity of a best friend. 

“You are perfection. And I know that whatever you end up doing is going to be perfect,” 

Chan smiled at his friend. Even though he could be annoying and naggy, Changbin was always there to pick him up. He was always able to wipe the dirt off of your face when you fell from the high. He didn’t pass judgments. 

Chan was stuck in his thoughts until the realization of his reality hit him like a freight train. “Fuck,” he said as he pulled his face away. 

“What?”

“The song...” he said, grasping at his desk until he was in a standing position and opening his laptop again. 

Changbin stood up too and sighed. “I thought you were going to take it easier from now on,” he whined.

“Fuck no, Changbin,” he said, tiredness still evident in his tone, “it’s gone,”

“It’s gone?” Changbin pulled his seat beside Chan, focusing on the newly opened blank track Chan started. 

Chan just nodded as he tried to remember how the song goes. Okay, it was 120bpm tempo... What were the chords that made up the verse? What was the instrument? How did the beat go? 

Chan groaned in frustration as he racked his brain. 

“We’ve done this before,” Changbin shoved Chan so that he could get a better view of the laptop. 

“Huh?” 

“You, me and Jisung,” Changbin looked concentrated, “we’ve produced songs in hours. I’m sure we could get something done if we worked together,”

Chan smiled, probably for the first time in days. “I would like that a lot,” he said gratefully. 

It was then that Chan realized that maybe some some people could be perfect after all. 

[sirsharp-a]

You Make Me so Mad. ❜

Summary:  Breathe, bunny.  You have to breathe.  Even if you don’t want to. Warnings:  Just gut-wrenching angst.

    She awoke that morning with butterflies in her stomach.  Curled up in the blankets, bare legs entwined with his, a cosy feeling radiating throughout her body as she nuzzled into him.

    He loves me.  Edgar loves me.

    Slowly, Grace opened her eyes, prepared to greet him, only to find that she was alone.  The duvet had been fed between her legs as if to simulate his sleeping body, the warmth surrounding her a product of the cocoon that had been consciously crafted for her.  Clearly, he hadn’t wanted to wake her when disappearing for the day.

    “... Eddie?”   she asked redundantly, hoping to hear his voice from the bathroom.  He showered every morning, oftentimes at six on the dot, but she’d heard the lack of running water long before she’d asked for him.  He isn’t here.  Why is he not here?

    With a huff, she threw the covers off of her and began searching for her clothes.

    “Idiot...”   she muttered ruefully, scorned by the fact that he had vanished in the midst of such an important confession.  Dragging her underwear up her legs like a stubborn child, she snatched up her dress and began to fix it into place, grumbling the whole while.   “You can’t just disappear after saying that…  you make me so mad sometimes--  stupid-head--”

    He probably has work to do, a voice in her head said.  When did he not?  If it wasn’t as an Alpha, it was as a bartender;  if it wasn’t as a bartender, it was as a political ace;  if it wasn’t in Huron, it was on Earth.  Somehow, in some way, he was always coveted.  She hated the fact that his free time was always so minimal, but she understood it.  Responsibility had a funny way of tailing him  -  and why wouldn’t it?  He was a mature man, a well put-together and responsible figure of authority;  somebody that exuded confidence and charm;  somebody that people felt they could trust to get the job done;  somebody that people  liked.

                                                                I just wish I could spend more time with him.                                                                                … maybe I’m just acting spoiled?

    About to storm out, she paused whilst grabbing her keys.  On the nightstand, a crisp white envelope stood lodged between the lamp and the clock, her name unmistakeably scrawled in cursive.  The woman hesitated, feeling guilt begin to gnaw at her conscience.

    Did I get angry too soon?      Maybe he just didn’t have the time to stay…  so he wrote a note instead?

    But why would it be  addressed to her  if such was the case?  Why would it be  closed, sealed and complete with the tavern’s address in the event that she failed to notice it?  Slowly, the pit of dread that she’d found herself in yesterday began to open back up, her heart skipping a beat.  With clear hesitation, she moved to pick it up, perching on the edge of the bed to examine it more closely

    Grace Adler.

   ( In the event that this letter is left unnoticed, please return to the sender address on the back of this envelope. )

    With her heart beating hard, she flipped it over and examined it.  The Strahvern’s address…  and a note that was clearly meant for her.

    In the event that you have noticed this, please do not open this letter until a week from now.

    Her brow furrowed slowly, confusion and apprehension only growing.  Suddenly, the paper felt heavy in her grasp, panic beginning to nibble at her ear as she pondered on what to do.  She felt torn.  In her head, she knew that she should obey the notice.  He had never failed her as a leader before, and the side of her brain that had grown used to being his inferior felt keen to abide by his instructions…  but there was a primitive feeling in her heart, one that tore at her with teeth and malice.  Much like humans could tell when they were being watched--  even when there was no particular reason to feel as such--  she could feel in her gut that disregarding his order was the right thing to do.

    If I don’t open this and read it right now, something irreversible is going to happen.  I don’t know what and I don’t know how, but that’s the way it is.  Everything about this is wrong.  Something is going on and he isn’t telling me.  That means it’s serious.

    With trembling fingers, Grace tore a small hole in the corner of the letter, one large enough for her finger to squeeze through, before she drew it cleanly along the sealed triangle.  It opened without much resistance, a sheet of paper filled with crisp black ink staring back at her.  Even without knowing what she was about to read, she knew to steel herself.

    My dearest Grace,

    If you are reading this, it is likely that I am already dead.

    Static crackled loudly in her ears, eyes dimming as she stared at the message.  What do you mean dead?  Part of her wanted to toss the note aside;  to find him and slap him for daring to write something so horrific, but she knew that doing so would only harm her.  If I don't continue, I'll never know what he's talking about.  With her heart in her throat, she forced herself to read further.

    There are a lot of things that I have been struggling with as of late.  Mounting wars.  A growing demand for my services on Earth.  My duties as an Alpha.  My developing feelings for you.  I want you to know that my disappearance has nothing to do with any of these things  -  least of all, you.  I do not believe in suicide.  It is the coward's way.  Even if I consider it sometimes, I would never go through with it.  I believe in rising to challenges and overcoming one’s own weaknesses.  I need you to know that.  It was never your fault.  It was never anybody's fault  - not even my own.

    There is no way to talk about this without being forthright, blunt even  -  whether it makes me sound insane or not.  A few days ago, I was visited by Raku.  I have met him several times and, as such, am somewhat familiar with his disposition.  He did not greet me with patience this time. He was angry and bitter, and informed me that my time was drawing to a close.  Apparently my existence ‘upsets the balance’  ( which I may consider a compliment of the highest order, even in spite of my impending death ) and I must vanish.  I do not know if this is true.  I won’t pretend to understand the universe, nor the work of deities.  I do understand what I am though, and as such, it would not surprise me if Raku is right.

    Do you know the way of hybrids, Grace?  We are brought back from the dead based on sin Over time, we are supposed to recall our transgressions, become horrified by our past choices, and seek out death as punishment.  We are supposed to be so overwhelmed by guilt that we want to do nothing but die.  But I do not feel guilty.  I did some distasteful things, but my reasons were sound.  I was a grieving man.  I was a sad, lonely, desperate man that had everything torn away from him.  God turned His back on me, even when I was devout, so I turned my back on Him.. I will never apologise for the person I turned into  -  not without my maker first admitting that it was His fault that I became them.  Until then, I am comfortable at this impasse.

    He is not.

    Soon enough, He will forcibly take my life away from me.

     How dare He try to take what He didn’t help me to get.

    I know that I should have told you.  I should have told everybody.  It isn't just you that it will hurt.  A group of lyes will be leaderless.  Murr will lose a dear friend.  Earth will lose a fearless vigilante.  All of the people that my favours have reached will lose a reliable business partner.

    But all I can think about is you.

    Believe me when I tell you that I tried, Grace.  I tried several times to come clean;  to admit that our time was limited. That our dates were numbered.  That though my passion for you was infinite, the time I had to show you it was not.  I couldn't do it.  Not only could I not break your heart like that, I couldn't accept it myself.  I kept telling myself that there was a way around it, that I could use my brain and worm my way through, but it is impossible to stand up to God once He has decided what will be done.  I'm truly sorry for keeping this from you.  It is one of the only things in my life that I regret.  You deserved more than this  -  and though it causes me great pain to say so, I hope you find the one that can make you happy;  the one that can stay.

    I can only hope that I leave this plane with you feeling loved  -  because you are.  I am certain that even in the void, my heart will ache for you.

                                                                                                       Always yours,                                                                                                              E. Strahv.

    P.S:  There are a series of letters awaiting you.  I have scheduled their delivery across the following year.

    She sat there in silence, unable to process what she had just read.  The letter was beginning to crease with how hard she was clutching it, and only after a few minutes of stagnant silence did something wet hit the page.  As soon as she became aware of the fact that she was crying, she found that she couldn’t keep herself from sniffling  -  and that snowballed into a sob so hefty that she felt it was choking her.  Before she knew it, she was struggling to breathe, tears thick and hot, panic jeering at her from the side-lines like a rigorous coach.  I want to see you break a sweat, kid!  It ain’t real unless your vision’s blurry!

    You can’t die.  You  CAN’T!  

    What about all of the happiness that there’s left to have together?  We were just getting somewhere.  You can’t leave now.  You can’t leave now.  Please don’t leave now--

    Breathe, bunny.  Just breathe.

    Somewhere amidst the pounding headrush, she heard his voice soothing her, bringing her back to reality.  She had had a number of panic attacks in front of him before, though it stung her pride to admit as such, and he had been the voice of reason that slowly drew her back down to earth.  He couldn’t cure her, but he could certainly help when the world felt as if it was caving in on her.

    Forcing herself to take deep breaths, Grace tried to will the connotations of the note from her head.

    I was supposed to see this when it was too late, but I didn’t.  There might still be time.  I did the opposite of what he told me to do and it might just save him.  I could do something.

    … but what?

    If Edgar, the most powerful lye she had ever witnessed, stood no chance against their maker, what could she realistically do?  There was no way that she’d be able to make a dent in the deity if her Alpha couldn’t.

    It doesn’t matter, she thought stubbornly, forcing herself to stand up on quaking legs.  Her heart was pounding miles too fast, face pale and hands quivering, but she rose.  She rose much like a phoenix being reborn, caked in dirt and weakness, only to emerge as something formidably jaw-dropping.  There’s no time to cry over it.  Edgar has always come through for me.  I can’t rest knowing that I didn’t at least try to do the same for him.  He’s never had an hour of need before, but his time is now.

    Quivering fingers curled around the note once more, scanning the text for clues.

    ‘Even in the void, my heart will ache for you.’

    “... I know where you’ve gone,”   she whispered to herself, haphazardly folding the note and tucking it into her skirt, flattening it down before shifting into her lye form.  Agile footwork carried her from the bed to the open window, her body a long streak of shadow as she sailed effortlessly over its ledge and onto the cobblestone path below.  She would need to move fast.  Now more than ever, her footwork was key.

    There’s only one ‘void’ I know of in this God-forsaken place, she mused as she darted across the street and into the never-ending plains.   It’s No-Man’s Bluff.

[404gendernotfound]

Living with a Hybrid Part 8 (Hybrid!Taeyong x Reader)

Summary: Your first time waking up with Taeyong clinging to you after exchanging kisses yesterday night. He is still a bit shy but gets more confident throughout the day. You’re talking about him even at work and as you finally come home you can’t wait to spend time with your favourite boy.

Contains: fluff

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 3,9 K

A/N: For all of you who have been wondering if the story is gonna end soon since the main couple got together now: I’m not planning on ending it this soon. It could be that there are 5 more chapters, it could be that I’ll still write 10 or more. I’ll have to see if I can still keep up with the flow of the story and if it will be better to not drag it too long and just end it at it’s best. So you can still look forward to a lot of cute moments with Taeyong and to get a look at the readers family and past.

Enjoy!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

________________________________________________________________

As I woke up the next morning I had to shuffle out of Taeyongs grip without waking him since I needed to get ready for work. His shift at the pancake shop didn’t start before 9 am so he still could sleep some time before he needed to get ready. I stretched and walked into the bathroom to shower and then get dressed. As I came back out of the bathroom I saw a sleepy hybrid sitting on the bed looking in my direction.

“Did I wake you?”, I asked and he shook his head.

“The bed was too cold without you”, he mumbled in a shy voice and I saw his cheeks blush slightly.

My heart skipped a beat and I walked over to the bed to take my place next to him. I sat down and Taeyong instantly laid his head down on my shoulder.

“You could still sleep some time. You don’t always need to get up whenever I leave for work”, I explained.

“But I want to see you out every morning”, he whined and looked at me with his puppy eyes.

How could I say no to this cutie? It was too adorable to know that he voluntarily wanted to wake up with me just to say goodbye for the day. I ruffled through his hair and he began to giggle quietly.

“You’re too cute for your own good”, I whispered and softly kissed his head.

I got off the bed and walked over to the desk to grab my things and put everything in my bag. Taeyong was watching me from the bed and waited until I had all the things I needed before he left the bed to see me off. I would just grab something to eat on my way from the bus to the office. As I was finished with putting my coat and shoes on, Taeyong stood at the doorstep and waited for me to step closer. I took a step forward and looked up at the sleepy hybrid that was a bit taller now since we weren’t standing on the same level. He looked like he wanted something. It was written all over his face but he seemed to be too shy to ask for it.

“Is there something you want?”, I asked and saw his cheeks turn pink.

“Can I give you a goodbye kiss?”, he asked looking to the floor and playing with his shirt.

“Of course”

Taeyong stood there hesitating while his tail was swinging behind him in excitement. It seemed like he was too shy to make a move after what happened yesterday. He just looked at me and I could almost see the anxiety in his eyes. I felt like I had to save him from the embarrassment. I leaned in and placed a quick kiss on his soft lips. As I moved back and looked at him I saw that he was satisfied now. I took one of his hands and squeezed it.

“I’ll be on my way now. I’ll see you later, Taeyongie”, I said before I let go of his hand and walked to the door.

“Text me when you arrive at work”, he added as I opened the door.

“I will. See you”

“Bye”

I closed the door and walked to the elevator with a bright smile on my face. I wasn’t sure what the thing between the two of us was right now but I was really happy to know that Taeyong somehow seemed to feel the same thing as I felt. As I arrived in the lobby I received a message from Taeyong. Was he already missing me?

Taeyongie 🤍: Get back home safe

I had to smile at his text.

You: I will. Now get some more rest before your shift starts <3

It took some time before he texted back. I was already sitting in the bus as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the display.

Taeyongie 🤍:  But I can’t sleep without you here…

You: Oh Taeyong…then watch some TV and eat some breakfast

Taeyongie 🤍:  Ok

There was a long pause before his next text arrived.

Taeyongie 🤍:  I can’t wait to see you again later <3

Reading his text made me wanna turn around and go back home right this instance. The bus arrived at the stop near the office and I got off walking into the direction of the bakery. After I got myself a sandwich and a croissant I walked over to the office. I quickly texted Taeyong that I arrived there and then entered the building. As I arrived my co-worker Jenny walked in with me.

“Good morning Y/N”, she said and smiled at me.

“Good morning Jenny”

“Have you heard about the new amusement park they’ll open on Saturday?”, she asked excited as if she couldn’t wait for my answer.

“No I haven’t. Tell me about it”

“They said there will be a lot of cool rides and a big Farris wheel where you can look over the whole city on its highest point.”, she explained excited.

“That sounds really nice. Maybe I can take Taeyong with me”, I mumbled more to myself than to her.

“Taeyong? Who’s that? Your boyfriend?”, she asked with a raised brow and a smirk on her face.

What should I say? He wasn’t really my boyfriend. At least we didn’t exchange our feelings really so it wouldn’t be good to assume that he was my boyfriend. I could just tell Jenny the whole story but that would take too much time. So I just decided to tell her to least I could.

“No. He’s a hybrid. He lives with me”

“Oh...wait! Since when do you have a hybrid?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later.”

I walked to my office and got straight to my work. It wasn’t as much work as yesterday meaning that it could be that I might get to go home early if I finish everything quickly. The mountain of work got a lot smaller when it was lunchtime. I felt like going to the canteen today even though I didn’t go there most of the time since it was noisy and all the co-workers where gathered there talking about god knows what. As I arrived there I got myself something to eat and sat down at a table with Jenny and some other people from our department.

“Hey! You left your office to eat for once”, she laughed and playfully hit my shoulder.

“I felt like socialising with you guys today”, I laughed and smiled at the others sitting at the table with us.

“So. You still need to tell us about that hybrid of yours”, one of them said and I sighed.

Jenny could never keep anything to her. She’s one of those people you can’t control what comes out of their mouth and sometimes information slips that wasn’t supposed to be said. I wasn’t mad at her since I didn’t mind the others knowing that I was living with a hybrid since I knew that they were pretty tolerant towards hybrids.

“That’s a really long story”

I started to tell them that I found him injured on the street about a month ago and took him in. I also told them about Haechan and Louis Green and what happened. I didn’t tell them about everything in detail since they just needed to know the basics. My co-workers looked at me some with a sad face and some really curious.

“So that means that you own that hybrid, right?”, Jenny asked and I shook my head.

“No. He lives with me but he doesn’t belong to me. He is officially still adopted by Louis Green”

Whenever I had to say that mans name my stomach turned and I had the feeling as if I had to puke any moment. Thinking about the bruises Haechan and Taeyong had caused my that bastard didn’t make that thought any better. I was just glad that they were healing on their own pace, mentally and physically.

“Does that mean that he will always count as that guys family?”, one of them asked.

“Actually, I never really thought about that. But now that you mention it, it might really be like that. I’ll have to call the adoption center and ask them if it is possible to undo an adoption.”

“Will you adopt him then?”, Jenny asked.

“I don’t know. If he wants me to I’ll gladly do it. But I won’t force him. It’s his decision. I don’t even know if he wants to stay with me forever. Maybe it’s better if I don’t adopt him.”

“You literally saved his life. I wouldn’t know anyone who would want to ever leave their saviour after something like this. Talk to him about it. I’m sure he’ll be very happy”, she said and pat my shoulder.

“Maybe you’re right.”

“Can we see a picture?”, one of them asked and I smiled.

“Sure.”

I showed them my wallpaper that showed a selfie that Taeyong and I took as we were chilling on the couch. His hair was messy on the picture and his cheeks slightly pink as he shyly looked into the camera. A loud “Aww” sounded through the room and everybody looked at our table. I apologised for the noise and looked at my co-workers angrily.

“He looks really cute. I bet he is a really good boy. Does he purr?”, she asked excited looking at me with hearteyes.

“Yes he does. He is very clingy but I don’t mind that. He is the cutest. Whatever you think is cute double that and you have Taeyong.”

Jenny giggled and continued to look at my phone.

“You should have told us earlier. It would be nice to meet him if that was possible”

“Well, he is really shy around strangers so I don’t know if that is a great idea right now but maybe some time in the future when he gets more confident around other people.”

It was really nice to talk someone else than Johnny and Mark about hybrids and they all seemed to understand me. We talked a bit more before the break was over and we got back to our desks to finish our work. I really was able to finish my work early. I brought my finished tasks to the boss and then went to pack my stuff. It was only 3 pm now meaning that I was able to finish 2 hours early. I was really happy that I now get to spend more time with my favourite boy on this beautiful Friday afternoon. I decided to surprise Taeyong at home. I quickly went food shopping on my way before I walked into the apartment building. I walked a different way to the elevator just to make sure that no one at the pancake shop could see me coming home already. As I arrived at the apartment, I put away the groceries and began to bake cookies. I knew that Taeyong loved the cookies I backed and I always love watching his happy face whenever he gets to eat them. As I was done with the dough and had put them in the oven, I decided to research if it was possible to undo an adoption. After reading articles and old cases for what felt like an hour, I found out that it was possible under certain circumstances like violence towards hybrids and that we just had to add it to our case. I instantly called our lawyer telling him that it would be the best if all the hybrids that had been affected by Louis Green should be spoken free to go in court so that they could go on and live a normal life without still knowing that they were legally still a part of his family. He added it to our file and assured me that he would do everything to win this case. After the call ended I heard the front door open. I put away my laptop and walked towards the corridor. As he stepped in and took off his shoes, I already heard his voice.

“Y/N?”, he said confused that I was already home.

I walked out of the kitchen and smiled at him as he looked at me. A huge smile formed on his face and he walked towards me instantly going for a hug. I hugged back and this time nuzzled my head against his neck.

“I’m home”, I mumbled against his neck and couldn’t help but place a quick kiss on his beautiful skin.

“I-I s-see t-that”, he stuttered and I couldn’t help but giggle at his sudden shyness.

I loved seeing how he always changed from the confident man to the shy boy whenever I did something unexpected. I moved so that I could look at him. His cheeks were pink as always. I reached out to pinch his cheeks and smiled.

“You know. Pink really suits you”, I teased and winked at him which just darkened his blush.

“Don’t make fun of me”, he said pouting and looked at me with puppy eyes.

“I’m serious. Pink is a great colour on you.”, I said and stroked his cheeks with both of my hands.

He just smiled at me and closed his eyes enjoying my affection towards him. His arms were now placed around my waist still keeping me as close as possible.

“You know. I really enjoyed work today since I got to talk about my favourite thing in life during lunchbreak. My co-workers were all delighted after I told them about the pretty hybrid I live with. They instantly wanted to meet you in person since you are so adorable”, I told him about today and saw his eyes open slowly.

“Y-you c-can’t talk about m-me like t-that”, he stuttered and looked down shyly.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not true”, he mumbled quietly and let his head hang low.

“Hey…”

I placed my hand under his chin and softly pressed it up so he had to look at me.

“It’s true. You are beautiful, Taeyong. It doesn’t matter whatever people called you in the past. Have you even looked at yourself properly? Your eyes are the prettiest I have ever seen. You blush whenever something unexpected happens and try to hide your face even though it’s the cutest thing on planet earth or even the universe. Your fur is smooth and shiny just like your hair and I always want to run my hands through it whenever I see you. You are clingy but not in a bad way. And most important of all, your personality is even more beautiful. You are the sunshine in person. Everything I said about you is nothing but the truth.”

While I complimented him I noticed tears building in his eyes. Before they could leave and run over his beautiful face I pulled him closer and placed a kiss on his lips. This was the first time he wasn’t shy enough to kiss back. Our lips moved in the same pace and fit perfectly as if they were made for each other. My hands wandered from around his neck into his hair and softly pulled on it. The kiss ended after some time with both of us slightly panting and leaning our foreheads against each other. I smiled at him and watched his mouth curl upwards, too.

“I’m not just saying this because I really like you. I’m saying this because that’s how I feel about you and you should feel just the same about yourself. You are beautiful, Taeyong”

“T-Thank you. I’m sorry. I promise I won’t think badly about myself again”

“You don’t have to promise that to me. Promise it to yourself. You have to be able to love yourself before you can love someone else”, I added and cupped his face with one of my hands.

“I’ll try”, he whispered and closed his eyes.

“I know. Don’t pressure yourself. I’ll be by your side whenever you need me. Don’t worry about that.”

I placed one last kiss on his lips before we separated from each other and walked into the kitchen. I looked after the cookies while Taeyong quickly changed into something more comfortable. As he came back into the kitchen I almost dropped the backing tray. He had startled me as he walked behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist placing his head on my shoulder. He was normally too shy to do something like this which was why I was so surprised about his behaviour.

“Be careful. Don’t hurt yourself”, Taeyong said and tightened his grip on me.

“Sorry. I was just surprised. These have to cool before we can eat them so let’s just go to the couch and watch something, ok?”, I suggested and looked at him over my shoulder.

“OK”, he whispered and then turned me so that we were facing the direction of the living room.

He didn’t move from behind me the whole way into the living room. It was difficult to walk with a hybrid clinging to my back as if I would disappear any moment he loosened his grip on me but I wasn’t gonna complain. As we arrived in front of the couch Taeyong released me and sat down on it patting his lap.

“You want me to sit on your lap?”, I asked and he nodded.

I could tease him now and just sit down on his lap facing him with my legs on both sides of his thighs but that would probably be too much. It would be nice to see him all flustered but I think it probably was too early to do something like this. I sat down on his lap and instantly had his arms wrapped around my waist again.

“You are especially cuddly today, aren’t you?”, I laughed happy and moved a bit so I was almost laying on top of him.

“Can’t I cuddle you whenever I want?”, he asked and looked at me.

“Of course you can”, I answered and reached up to playfully ruffle his hair which made him giggle.

We watched a bit TV and stayed in silence until Taeyong began to talk.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. I’m all ears”

“When the trial is over next month…uhm…what will happen then?”

I was confused by his question. What did he mean with what will happen? It sounded like it was depressing him. I looked up at him over my head and saw his face. Worry was written all over it.

“What do you mean?”, I asked back.

I needed more information to answer his question.

“I mean…will you make me…yours?”, he asked hesitating and getting quieter with every word spoken.

This question made me even more confused. What did he mean by “making me yours”? After a short while of thinking something from an article about hybrids popped into my mind. It was about hybrids falling in love with humans. The text said that they would want to be as close as possible, in real life and legally meaning that the closest of being with a human was through the adoption since it was still forbidden for hybrids and humans to marry, which in my opinion was total bullshit. As this realization hit me I turned around and looked directly at Taeyong.

“Did you just ask me to adopt you?”, I asked excited since that could mean that this was almost like asking someone to marry you in the human world.

“Y-Yes. I mean you don’t have to if you don’t feel that way but-“

Before he could end his sentence I had already pressed a finger to his lips making him shut up. I didn’t need any more words from him to know my decision. There wasn’t even any thinking needed to know what I was gonna say.

“Taeyong. There is no way I would say no to adopting you. See I couldn’t imagine being without you anymore so don’t even think that I don’t feel the same way as you do. And actually…I was gonna ask you sometime soon if you wanted me to adopt you since you’d be free after the trial.”

I send him the happiest smile and saw him return an even happier one. He then hugged me and pressed his forehead against mine.

“I like you”, he said, his words filled with love.

“I like you, too”, I answered and nuzzled my nose against his.

God I loved this boy so much. I could melt in his arms right at this moment. The softness his voice had as he said these words warmed my heart and made me fall in love with him even more. We separated again and I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before I stood up to go to the kitchen.

“I’ll get the cookies, just a sec”, I said and almost ran to get the kitchen to grab what I baked earlier.

I placed them on a plate and walked back to the couch. This time I placed myself next to Taeyong so I could cuddle against him while we watched TV. Taeyong wasn’t used to being cuddled against like this. I noticed that because he didn’t know where to place his arms. I helped him and placed his one arm around me and took the other and intertwined our fingers. He looked down at me and then kissed my head like I would always do whenever he cuddled against me. Just this little copying me in this situation made my heart beat faster and I could hear Taeyongs heartbeat fasten too. As we were watching TV and eating the cookies from the plate a commercial about the new amusement park in town was screening. I remembered Jenny at work telling me excited like a child how amazing the park would be and it actually sounded like something perfect for tomorrows Saturday.

“Hey. What do you think? Wanna go to that opening tomorrow?”, I asked still munching on my cookie.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been to an amusement park”, he said which made me sit up and look at him in shock.

“Then we definitely have to go. You will love it. There are a lot of fun rides, you can buy lottery tickets and win things like cute keychains to huge stuffed animals and there is a Ferris wheel with a view over the whole city. It will be fun”

“DID YOU SAY STUFFED ANIMALS?”

Now I knew that this was a brilliant idea. His eyes sparkled and his tail whipped from side to side excitedly.

“Yes. Stuffed animals. We could take the boys and Haechanie with us. That would be fun, don’t you think?”

He nodded without losing that sparkle in his eyes. I could already imagine Taeyong running around with a stuffed animal in his arms pressed tightly against his body while he walks around with wide eyes taking in all the new sensations and eating pink cotton candy. Only the image in my head made me smile like an idiot. This was going to be the best day ever.

Next part                                                                

[notimetoblog]

Quick Stories

Summary: Waking up early with Bucky is not always so bad.

A/N: HI!!!!! i’ve been thinking about this story or a while and finally had time to work on it yesterday! It is my entry to @pietrotheavenger ‘s writing challenge. Than k you so much for being so patient with me!!! I hope you guys enjoy it and as always thank so much for reading

MY STORIES

Rising before the sun, never seemed like an appealing idea. Yet, everyday for the last few months that was exactly what you had been doing. Sure, sharing a bed with Bucky had its advantages. For one, the cold fall nights in New York meant nothing to you as right beside you slept a human furnace who warmed every inch of you. He was also a massive cuddler, and you were yet to find a more comfortable place to sleep in than his arms. As the weeks passed by, however, you found yourself adopting his sleeping and rising schedule, meaning you were up before the sun as he got ready for his daily run. 

You blinked your eyes open as you felt Bucky stirring beside you. The bed shifted a bit as he turned to lay on his side and pressed up against you, his chest against your back. 

“Morning darling,” he said with his raspy voice knowing that you were surely awake. His lips found the curve of your neck, gently drawing a loving path of kisses. 

“Morning,” you replied, voice still sleepy despite the tender movements of his lips against your neck. 

“What if I skip my morning run and we go out to get some coffee,” he proposed. 

Perking up at the sound of that you replied with your own proposal as his hand moved up and down your sides. His gentle caresses and proposal helping you fight off the sleepiness that was still making your eyelids heavy.  

“What if you skip your morning run and we stay in and sleep until 10.”

“That’s an idea,” he mused, and you could almost hear the smile you were sure he was sporting. “Or we can go to that cozy coffee shop by the library and I’ll buy us all the muffins they have.”

“Sounds like a tempting offer, Barnes,” you replied as you shifted onto your back. “But nothing beats sleep for me.”

You looked up at the smiling super soldier whose tender eyes looked back at you, admiration evident even in the low lighting. He had shifted along with you as you rolled onto your back. He was now propped on his elbow, his hair draping over his face as he looked down at you.

“Come on, darling,” he began. “Its our day off. Let’s go out and enjoy the city. I can just grab a quick shower and we’ll be out of here before you know it. We’ll make a day out of it.”

“What do you have against this bed? It’s incredibly comfortable and has your still very sleepy girlfriend,” you teased.

He lowered his head, placing a tender kiss on your lips.

“Nothing,” he chuckled. “I just think we’d miss out on a lovely day if we stay in here.”

You braced yourself for what was coming. Ever since Bucky had discovered the power of his puppy dog eyes, he did not hesitate to use them. He had even managed to get Sam to side with him after flashing them his way. You had been left utterly stunned as you saw Sam, the one person you figured would see right through them, fall victim to their incredible vulnerability and innocence.

You pushed him off and quickly swooped the pillows from underneath your head, swiftly propping them up to create a barrier between you and him.

You heard his laugh emanate from behind the pillows.

“Why is there a pillow wall?” he said as he peaked over it.

“Because I don’t want to look at your face,” you quickly replied as you brought your hands up to cover your eyes.

“Tired of it already?” he laughed. “I thought it still had a few years left before you felt the need to find someone younger.”

“You’re as handsome as ever, Bucky. But your darn eyes. You know exactly what you’re doing,” you responded, eyes still covered hoping to be spared from the intensity of his puppy dog eyes.

“Oh, come on,” he said, easily knocking down your little wall of pillows. He began peppering the hands that were still covering your eyes with kisses, gently prying them away.

Shutting your eyes, you heard him laugh above you.

“Doll? Come on look at me.”

“Nuh-uh. That will only mean I will for sure be up and getting dressed after one look into your eyes.”

“You’re giving me much too much credit, Y/N. Come on, open up your eyes.”

After refusing once again, you felt his hands crawling up your sides, tickling you into finally opening up your eyes, tears rolling down your cheeks from laughter.

“That’s not fair!” you said as you tried to calm your breathing.

“All’s fair in love and war, darling,” he replied with a smirk. “Now come on, get up and let’s go!”

-------

“Not too bad, is it?” Bucky asked form across the table.

The coffee shop was not as busy as it would surely get in a few hours. Apparently, everybody in New York, except Bucky, knew and loved the benefits of sleeping in.

Bucky had immediately picked out a small table by the window, looking out to the library on the other side of the street, walking you both over to it with the coffee and muffins you had picked out. He hadn’t lied, the staff at the coffee shop had to restock the muffin display after he bought every one of them, claiming you would share with the rest of the team back home.

“It’s warm in here,” you admitted, taking your first sip of coffee.

“Did I ever tell you why I like coming to this place so much?” Bucky asked, his eyes tender again, full of that vulnerability and innocence that came with his puppy dog eyes. He looked so sincere, though, not just trying to get you to agree to something or convince you to leave your comfortable bed, but actually traveling back to something that made his face light up, his voice turn sweeter than it already was.

You shook your head silently, mesmerized by his beautiful blue eyes and voice.

“See that library?” he gestured towards the old building across the street. It was a one-story brick building that looked like it had seen a lot over the years.

Remaining quiet, you nodded.

“It’s been here for a while. I remember it being here when I was a kid. Steve and I would sit on the steps,” his gaze seemed to be focused on the library, but you could tell the library he was seeing was the one surrounded by the environment of his childhood. The one he and Steve frequented. “He would sometimes bring his sketchbook,” he continued, “and draw the people coming in and out of the building, the people on the street, or the birds in the trees. Sometimes as he drew I would come up with stories for the people walking on the street. Just random quick backstories to strangers that we would most likely never see again.”

His eyes moved, gaze now focused on you, a warm smile in his face as he refocused in the present.

You felt as your own smile spread on your lips. It was impossible not to smile when the love of your life looked so happy, so peaceful.

“We didn’t have easy lives,’ he recalled, “but those brief moments where we let our imaginations run wild made up for a few of the things we had to deal with.”

“We should do it now,” you proposed. “Come up with random stories for the people we see.”

His smile grew wider, shone brighter, as he heard what you were proposing.

“You’d want to do that?”

“Of course!” you smiled. “It sounds like tons of fun although I may be bad at it.”

“Well I might be too since I haven’t done it in so long but let’s give it a try.”

He cleared his throat then, dramatically rolling up his sleeves as he searched the shop for a person to come up with a story for.

“There,” he whispered, his gaze focused on a young woman across the room. She was typing furiously on her laptop, eyes red. Her messy hair was poking out of her beanie. “Her name is Abigail, but she lets her close friends call her Abby. Only her close friends, though. One time this random guy in her building tried to call her that and he ended up with a bloody nose. Poor fella didn’t see it coming. All that typing has made her hands strong, so his nose had no chance against her fist,” he stopped as he heard you chuckle, eyes coming back to look into yours. “She’s here, typing away, because in order to avenge his broken noise, the guy, who happens to live in the apartment above her, keeps dragging his furniture and doesn’t let her study in the comfort of her own home. He does it in the middle of the night too, so she’s beyond tired. But don’t worry, doll, that girl’s words are just as powerful as her fist. She’s furiously typing up a letter that will surely get the guy kicked out of the building for being an ass.”

You clapped your hands to congratulate him for the story he had just made up on the spot.

“I’m impressed Barnes, guess you were just being humble back when you said you weren’t going to be good at this.”

“Well, I try,” he said, patting his own back as he spoke.

“Alright, my turn. Let’s see, who’s going to be my first victim,” your eyes moved about the shop trying to find an interesting person. Your eyes paused their scanning when your gaze landed on the barista that had prepared your coffees. He was a young man, probably in his 20’s. He had been incredibly polite, and you had seen how much of an impressive collection of tattoos he had going up his arm. “Him,” you said as you nodded your head in his direction. “His name is Eric and he has an amazing singing voice although he tries to hide it. He’s been told just how much of a talent he has but he doesn’t believe it, always thinks his friends are just setting him up. But part of him hopes he can gather up the courage to sing in public, because he’s been writing these songs for a girl that’s caught his eye.”

“Is it Abby?” Bucky gasped.

“No,” you laughed, “and unless you want to be punched, it’s Abigail to you, sir. It’s not her but the girl is a customer. He’s written tons of songs for her and they all seem to focus on her laugh. Their interactions are always brief, so he only has a few refence points, but he knows that she’s something special. Maybe he’ll sing it for her soon.”

“I hope he does,” Bucky whispered, completely wrapped up in your story.

“Me too,” you agreed.

“Ok, not bad for a rookie,” he teased. “I’m going with him,” he pointed to a man across the street dropping off books at the donation bin in front of the library. “He’s a Wall Street guy named Mason. Guy is loaded with money, but he always remembers where he came from. He grew up with very little, but his parents always made sure he was happy and comfortable. He knows how hard it can get and so he hosts events with his fancy Wall Street friends where they collect donations for those who are in need. This time, they collected books for children. So, he’s here, early in the morning to drop those off before he heads off to work.”

“Aw,” you cooed. “Mason’s so sweet!”

‘He is a great guy,” Bucky confirmed as if he truly knew the man across the street.

You spent a few hours in the coffee shop, laughing at the silly stories Bucky came up with, or almost tearing up at the sweet situations his imagination would somehow manage to conjure up.

As the time went on, the coffee shop became busier, the streets filling up with people rushing t their jobs or kids rushing to school.

“We should probably get going,” you said noticing how many people were drinking their coffees without a table. “We’ve been hogging this place for too long.”

“Just one more story,” Bucky replied softly. “Please?”

“Ok,” you said, heart melting at how happy he was.

“My next story will be based on,” he let his gaze dance through the shop, sometimes stopping on certain people as if debating if the story he could come up for them was worthy of being the last story of the day. After a few seconds, though, his gaze returned to you, eyes sparkling. “My next and final story will be on you,” he announced.

“That’s cheating,” you laughed. “I’m not a stranger.”

“Well my story won’t be based on your past. I’m basing mine on your future.”

“My future?” you asked, very intrigued by what he was about to say.

“That’s right. I’m breaking all the rules, just for you darling.”

“Well let’s hear it then,” you said as you leaned across the table, resting your chin on your hands.

“I’m sorry to say, but your future will be full of early mornings, because I’m making sure that I will be waking up next to you for as long a possible. I’m sorry to say that you’ll have to put up with my face for a very long time because, darling, I’m never letting go of you. Your future will be full of love because I’ll live every day of my life trying to make you feel just like you make me feel; special, loved, and needed. I love you with every single part of me. From the part that makes up quick stories of strangers to the one that’s intensely aware of how delicious muffins are. I love you like I thought I’d never get to love.”

“I love you too,” you responded softly, heart beating fast at his lovely story of your future.

“Thanks for waking up early with me, love,” he smiled, hands reaching across the table to intertwine with yours. “Didn’t even have to bring out the puppy eyes.”

You laugh, loving every single part of this morning because you knew that as long as it was with him, the sun didn’t need to be out for you to feel warm. He was your own personal sun, shining down at you with his love and care.  

—–

Bucky Tags :D

@camillechan @just-add-butter @buckyisthepuresthuman @carry-on-my-fandom @creideamhgradochas @sixweekcure4dreams @verycoolveryunique @dugan365 @jitterbuck @buckysmusculararm @headinthe-fridge @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @hedwigthelegend @sappybarnes @coal000 @the-whitewolfie @natcad @winters-beauty @dixonsbugaboo @sawdustandsugar @silverbvcky  @whyugottabsorude @theoutlinez @killjoynotes @agentpegcxrter @demonspawn2468 @books-movies-eternal @buckysbeech @thefridgeismybestie @lionheo04 @pinkfairyfluff @imaginecrushes @cauraphernelia @angieptt @fridolf-arach @nerdgirljen @bucky-is-a-hero-fightme @consttantina @titty-teetee @bfuckjames @crowleysqueenofhell @sebtrashcan-stan @jaamesbbarnes @heartssick @losemymemory @redstarstan @dracris33 @fuckthatfeeling @tamed-chaos @bringmetoawonderland @mlehbleh @mawimey @delicatelyherdreams @buckyswinterchildren @jaysaku @stanclub  @your-pixels-are-showing  @thisismysecrethappyplace @who-the-heck-knows @starfisharchives @plumsforbuckxx  @friendly-neighborhood-lich-queen @bambamwolf87 @ohhhotstan @whileinparis @sebbysstangirl @trashpandabarnes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @ohhhotstan @lokilvrr @freyjawalker @until-theend-oftheline @hello-lucifer-here @sold-my-soul-in-2016 @ifyousayyouloveme 

[meat-husband]

Thomas Hewitt - Alphabet Ask Meme

I’m hoping to start doing requests on this blog, so I thought I would start up with the alphabet ask memes as a sort of intro! I figure all the letters get asked eventually, so I’m just doing all of them in one go. There will be one of these posted for each character I’m writing.

I have a page with what and who I write for here. 

Both the NSFW and fluff alphabet asks are under the cut!

NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Most of the time you’ve both got to get back to your household duties, but a few minutes spent being held and catching your breath won’t be missed. If there’s nothing pressing, you best believe there is gonna be some napping in the cool, dark basement, sprawled out in the little corner he’d made into a bed.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

The only part of himself he really judges aesthetically is his face. He doesn’t give much thought to the rest of himself in terms of appearance, so long as he can do the work that needs to be done.

This is sort of specific but - he loves that little bit of pudge that sticks out over thigh high socks, that’s good shit.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn’t really care about where it ends up, until he gets ‘the talk’. Once he knows how to put a baby in you, it goes inside no matter how much you whine about the mess he makes.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Absolutely watches you without your knowledge for quite a while. He climbs up to the attic to peek through the floorboards, waits in dark rooms to look through the crumbling walls, hides behind the basement door and watches you through the peephole - once you get together he stops being sneaky about it, but even then you’re going to turn around to find him suddenly looming over you multiple times a day.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Honestly, it would be better if he had none. As it is, his uncles have taught him whatever they think he might need to know (his mama’s contribution amounted to ‘no hussies’ and ‘wait till marriage’). Once they see he might actually have someone interested, you better believe they crank that shit up to eleven. When you get ahold of him you’ll have to… reword some of the things he’s been taught. It’s not all wrong, mostly just vulgar.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EgA2VzQFRA

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s usually pretty fucking intense tbh. Rough hands, snarls, hair pulling - he’s used to using his strength for just about everything, this is no exception. Early morning, sleepy Tommy is a different thing, though. Despite waking so early everyday he is not a morning person so you’ve gotta take charge. Warm him up with some snuggles beforehand and you’ll set yourself up for something a little slower and sweeter than usual.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Bruh. Have you seen this man. I am nearly certain the closest thing to a shower he’s seen in a while is getting sprayed down with the hose outside. At any given moment he’s either covered in sweat, blood or both.

He will always wash his hands before dinner though, Mama didn’t raise an animal.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He doesn’t put much thought or effort into romantic things, but that doesn’t mean he’s not affectionate. He’s very shy about touching, so you know the small pat on your head or the crooked smile you see when you reach for his hand are more meaningful than they might be to others.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Tommy goes through phases of denying himself things he needs/wants, especially when there is a lot of tension in the house or he’s feeling particularly shitty for whatever reason. Usually it’s food and rest he ignores, but pleasure is something he’d deny himself as well.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

So, obviously, breeding. That’s always going to be his number one, but taking it a step further, it’s going to drive him crazy when you actually get pregnant. He’s still going to have the urge to fill you up, even when you’re already full, and knowing he’s going to have to wait so long to do it again riles him up. You won’t even be showing yet and he’ll be ready to put the next one in you.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Technically, he has a bedroom upstairs but he doesn’t sleep there often. A few wooden pallets stacked in the corner and topped with an old mattress has served as his bed in the basement and it’s where he’s most comfortable now. That being said, he hasn’t really grasped that sex is usually a private thing. If you’re in the kitchen, on the porch, anywhere really, when the mood strikes him, he’s just gonna go ahead put his hands under your skirt. Hoyt thinks this is hilarious and no amount of furious, red faced scolding is convincing Tommy that this is not how to let you know he needs you. Of course, it only had to happen once in front of Mama for him to learn that that shit ain’t gonna happen when she’s around.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Sweet things, like soft touches and warm kisses, will always get him riled up. He’s not used to being treated gently, so he will eat that mushy, lovey-dovey shit up. Shy smiles, cuddling on the couch, hand holding - truly he is a deviant.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that might draw blood, like knife play or biting. He’s rough, but he’s not trying to hurt you. A few bruises here and there are alright, but anything more is too much.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He likes blowjobs when he’s tired or sleepy, but he won’t hesitate to get rough and put you in your place if you try to get him to finish in your mouth - that’s not gonna happen. He will always reciprocate unless you tell him not to, but he’s not very skilled. The mask tends to get in the way a bit and you can’t tug on the hair the way you’d like without pulling it out of the skin. It’s one of his favorite things though, and that enthusiasm makes up for what he lacks in knowledge. Sometimes you think he enjoys it more than you do, desperately holding your hips in place and moaning, open-mouthed, between your legs.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

Tommy’s always on the rougher side, with deep, slow thrusts that hit hard. He likes bottoming out and grinding against you, pushed in as far as he can and desperate to go deeper.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Honestly, he’s not got a preference either way as long as you’re both getting off in the end.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Whatever you want to show him, he’ll try. He’s not got many ideas of his own in terms of experimenting, so you can always tell when something he does or wants has been suggested by his uncles.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He puts all his effort into the first go, so unless it’s a quickie, he’s probably tapped out after that. If you really want a round two though, he will not pass up the opportunity to eat you out and it’s a surefire way to get him going again.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Not in Mama’s Christian, god-fearing household, no sir! (you know Hoyt has some shit he’s kept from the cars and luggage he brings in, only because he’s offered you and Tommy first dibs whenever he comes across something. You’re not sure if he’s serious or just wants to see your face go red - probably both tbh).

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If you let him, he’ll skip foreplay all together and get straight to it, so he’s not much for teasing. On the other side of it, teasing him works a little too well - push your luck and you’ll end up bent over the nearest piece of furniture, whether or not someone else is using it.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Everybody in the house knows when you’re getting dirty because Tommy will not. Shut. Up. For not being able to speak, he’s amazingly loud and clearly has no shame.

W = Wild Card (Get a random head canon for the character of your choice)

Tommy snores, loud, like a plane engine backfiring. Everyone else has learned to tune it out, but that’s hard to do when his face is right next to your ear.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Tommy’s ready to go anytime tbh, if he didn’t have so much work to do around the house you’d spend a lot more time in bed.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If you’re in bed, pretty much instantly. Of course, if you need something, like more blankets or a glass of water, he’ll be happy to get you taken care of before drifting off. Otherwise he’s pretty diligent about getting back to work, and making sure you do too.

Fluff Alphabet

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Soft hands, unworn from rough work, that reach for him at the end of the day, and even softer kisses pressed against the corners of his mouth and eyes and anywhere his own skin shows behind the masks. He wants that Soft Shit™.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

He’s not really been brought up with the expectation of continuing the family name simply because no one expected him to be able to. Of course that changes once he’s got a willing partner and Tommy always wants what his family wants. He’s going to have no idea what to do with a baby, but the combined praise from his family and you will have him ridiculously proud of himself when it happens.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Half on top of you, face buried into your neck and snoring is the normal position. Hair petting is a must, it helps him fall asleep. When it gets really hot he’ll give you more space, but even if you start out on opposite sides of the bed you’ll always wake up with him practically on top of you. Makes getting up to pee really difficult tbh.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

There’s not much to do that would make a traditional date with Tommy. He’ll take you on evening walks past ruined homes and barns, listening to the dogs and coyotes yipping in the pastures. Sitting on the warm porch, his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair as you read out loud. Short joy rides in the cars of strangers, before they’re taken to the old mill to rot.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

Family.

It’s always been the most important thing to him and becoming a part of that family isn’t an easy thing to accomplish. The others would accept you into the fold much more quickly compared to Tommy. He trusts his family completely and giving that kind of power to someone new isn’t easy for him so when it happens everyone knows it’s a big deal.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

It’s gonna hit him all at once and pretty early into knowing you. He’s going to be very suspicious of how nice you are, but it won’t take long for him to figure out you’re being genuine when you say those nice things to him.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

It doesn’t come to him naturally most of the time so he tends to overcompensate. He’ll be extra careful with you physically, but he also keeps and eye on what you’re doing throughout the day. You can totally lift the laundry basket yourself, but he’s going to do it for you anyways.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Okay, hand holding is Tommy’s jam. Mama thinks it’s sweet and has forbidden Hoyt from teasing either of you (he’s only barely holding back tbh). Usually you’re the one to reach for him, but if you take too long or aren’t getting the hint he’ll take the initiative. He’s shy about it, brushing his hand against you, hooking his pinky with your own timidly before finally sliding his hand over yours. He will absolutely not be able to make eye contact for a good five minutes afterwards, but he ain’t letting go either.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Suspicion. Whether you were dinner turned hostage or something else, Tommy doesn’t like or trust outsiders. Even when his family starts to warm up to you he’s still ready to drag you into the basement at a moments notice. He’s probably the most surprised out of everyone when you end up fitting in so well.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Tommy is jealous of pretty much every man that gets dragged into the house. Hoyt might like to mess with them first, but he’d rather get them into the basement as quickly as possible. It doesn’t matter what they look like, he’s under the impression that anyone is a step up from himself, so he’s not taking the chance. You’ve caught on that he doesn’t like you around them, at least, so you make things easy and keep out of the way.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Tommy is absolutely not going to make the first move when it comes to kissing. It takes quite a while for him to get used to touch in general, but his face is still a sensitive area, even with the masks. You would have to ease him into it. He’d be okay with quick pecks on the cheek of his mask right away and maybe you could catch him off guard with a sneaky kiss on the lips. If you want sloppy makeouts, you’ve got some work ahead of you. Once he does come around to it he’s still hesitant and you would have to start it, but he’s pretty firm about keeping the mask on for smooches.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

He can’t say it out loud, but he thinks it first. Kindness is the way to Tommy’s heart and unfortunately it doesn’t take much after so long without it. He’ll have a crush way before you start thinking the same. Once you’re together he doesn’t have a way to say ‘I love you’ in particular, but he’ll always give you a response when you say it, so you know he’s saying it back in his own way.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

Even though he’s not much of a morning person, he always wakes up before you. His favorite moments are in the early morning, before the sun has even risen, when you’re still asleep and he can hold and touch you, with hours left before either of you has to get up.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?) So, there’s not much for Tommy to spoil you with, but he tries. Clothing and jewelry from the meat that’s brought in are the most common gifts, but he’s always on the lookout for sweets and candies hidden in cars and purses to bring back to you.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

He thinks of red, the color of the bright, tacky shorts you were wearing when his uncle dragged you out of the cruiser, screaming. Your hands and knees were red too, scraped and bleeding, and he still feels guilty looking at the faded white scars.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Well obviously Tommy can’t really express any pet names verbally and he doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to use them anyways. I do love the idea of his partner calling him Bubba as a pet name though, and you had better believe Hoyt is teasing the fuck out of you both for it, no matter what Mama says. Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Pretty much everything they own is non-modern, even by the standards of the 70s. Most of it belonged to previous Hewitts and anything new is most likely from some unfortunate traveler. Tommy has always liked using the old sewing machine though, even when he was little and didn’t cover his face. Now he’s skilled enough to repurpose the clothes and belongings that get brought in, besides making his masks.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Rainy days aren’t much different from sunny ones if there’s work to be done. The winter rains are something he enjoys, just because it’s a nice change from the usual heat. He gets tired of it quick though, especially when the flooding keeps travelers away and there’s no new meat to look forward to. It’s nice to have a few slow days but he needs to work, to be productive and take care of the family, and it makes him restless not having his usual duties.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Seeing someone he cares about hurt or crying would upset him and he might curl around you, whining, but he doesn’t know what to do when he’s upset, let alone how to comfort someone else. It’s likely to get him more agitated than you are, and the only thing he knows to do when he’s hurting is get angry. He’s not got much of a temper usually, but any sort of distress will set him off, scratching and biting at himself, or worse.

He also doesn’t take comfort very well when he’s upset. Depending on the situation it’s best to leave him to himself, until he’s calmed down on his own. Attention and fussing will only make him angry and nervous. If he gets too bad then Hoyt can usually reign him in, and luckily you’ve never found out what happens when he can’t.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

He doesn’t speak, but once you get used to his body language it’s not hard to communicate at all. It’s easiest when he can respond to something you say or ask, but he’s not going to play charades to get his point across. If it can’t be said with a few grunts or pointing then it’s not getting said.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

It’s often Hoyt and Mama who make dinner, so you, Tommy and Monty will wait in the living room, watching TV until it’s time to eat. He’ll listen to you and Monty arguing over the remote, drown out the noise of the old Western you finally settle on and nap on the couch with you curled into his side. V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Usually he’s not much for showing off, but that changes when you’re around. Usually it’s when he’s helping you around the house - sure, he didn’t need to lift the entire goddamn table over his head for you to sweep under, but it worked, didn’t it?

W = Wedding (When, how?) It’s not so much a wedding as a big family dinner. It’s really more for Mama’s sake, since she can’t give you a traditional wedding like she’d want. Henrietta and her family come up to the house for the occasion and you spend all day in the kitchen, cooking with the older women. Tommy sticks around for the food, but he’s in and out after the eating is done. Most of the evening is spent around the cluttered table or out on the porch, listening to stories and receiving not-so-subtle hints about grandchildren.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

Tommy really doesn’t like music, at all. He doesn’t mind the old radio playing in the kitchen, or the TV, but he won’t use them himself. He will listen to the news every once in a while, but he only puts it on for white noise when he’s sewing or working upstairs.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

As far as he’s concerned, you already are married. There’s no rings (unless you want one, in which case he’s got a collection in the basement) or ceremony, but he sees it as more of a promise between the two of you. You’re already family and that’s about as official as the Hewitts get.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

He’s not much for animals really. The family keeps chickens and pigs when they can, but they’re meant for meat and eggs. The feral dogs in the fields come around sometimes to get scraps and bones and he’s been around cattle for most of his life, but he doesn’t see a reason to keep a pet. Animals have uses, like people do, and that’s the only reason he’d keep one around.

[natysadventureblog]

Canada here I come!

02 and 03-Aug-2017

It's finally time to go on my new adventure!! I wasn't used to waiting this long, anymore!!

Well my flight was at 21h, from the international airport, which is at least an hour away from where I live, and my parents weren't gonna be able to give me a ride this time, so I had to take the shuttle from the other airport. Since we should be there 3 hours before the flight, I had to be there at 18h, and there was a chance there would be some protests on the way, so I left home at 15h30, to take the 16h10 bus. Unfortunately, this wasn't free like the last one, but I got a discount buying both ways at once, so it cost me a total of R$73. Thankfully it all went well and I got there about 1:10 later (but for some reason the AC in the bus was at 15°C!!! WHYYYYY??? It was around 20°C outside... it was nice!! Why did we have to freeze???).

Right after I got to the airport I had an accident, though... it was way too ridiculous to tell here, but let's just say it involved an escalator and me trying to prevent my big bag from falling on the guy behind me...

Oh well, now I'll have matching scars (remember the time I almost broke my left leg, last year?) and the right leg of my jeans is ripped... hahaha, it hurts, but not as badly as it looks... I thought it was gonna hurt a lot later, but it wasn't too bad.

I spent some time re-arranging my bag, because even though I can always bring 32Kg with me on these long international flights, my last flight before my final destination would be from a different company, and it would be a domestic flight, so I wasn't sure they were gonna allow over 23Kg, and I didn't want to take my chances.

Once I had checked in and checked my bag, I ate the food I brought with me (cause everything at GRU airport is ridiculously expensive) and went to the gate area.

Because everything before that took so long, I didn't have to wait much, and soon I was on the plane.

I hadn't flown United Airlines in years, and it sure made me miss SAA... very little leg room, BUT the food definitely improved since last time (which was disgusting... well, the coffee still is, to be honest)! I even got dessert! And my flight attendant was my favorite ever!!

I missed breakfast, though, because nobody bothered waking me up (I had a terrible night of sleep, because the lady next to me wouldn't stop moving and bumping into me), so I only woke up to the sound of people unwrapping their croissants. But I asked for mine after they served the beverages.

We arrived in Newark around 5h30, and for a moment I got pretty scared... so, Canada doesn't have a specific law for volunteer work and such, so we don't need a work visa, BUT depending on the person at customs, they might not let you in the country because you're gonna be working, even if it's for free, so we have to say we're just travelling. So, arriving in the US, I didn't expect the lady to ask me what I was gonna do in Canada, so I just answered honestly, and she asked me if I had a visa for that, and I told her that because it's an unpaid internship, I only need a tourist visa (not even a tourist visa, actually, just an ETA), so she just let me through, but she was stamping my passport and writing on it, so I was terrified, thinking that she might have written something that could get me in trouble!! Thankfully it was just her signature and the date! *Phew*

I was supposed to board for Montréal at 7h20, but the flight was delayed... like REALLY delayed!! I was supposed to arrive there at 9h something, and the plane only took off at 10h40!!! I was supposed to board my next flight at 11h25!!!! Well, we landed at 11h30, and I still had to go through customs and re-check my bag, not to mention that I was in the back of the plane, so I had to wait for everybody to get off... the flight attendant even called them to let them know (because nobody bothered mentioning the flights that could be missed because of the delay, as I'm used to hearing, when the plane lands)... I ran!! Customs was actually fine... I was in such a hurry that I didn't even say all that I was planning on saying... I got to the counter to re-check my bag at 11h55 (the plane was supposed to depart at 11h50)... they didn't wait for me... but the ladies were really nice and got me on the next flight, which was about 5 hours later.

Oh! There was a nice snack on the plane!

Oh! I asked them about the weight, for when I'm coming back, and I'm still allowed 32Kg! Woo-hoo!! I get to buy stuff!!

Well, I had enough time to check out the entire airport and choose what I'm gonna buy for my family on the way back. I stopped at Starbucks for a MMM (Marble Mocha Macchiato), but had to google how to make it, because the baristas didn't know it (it's basically a caramel mocha, but with white mocha instead of vanilla, and dark mocha drizzled on top). It ended up costing me quite a lot, but I love it and hadn't had it since 2013, so I deserved it!

And after all that stress, from both yesterday and today, I felt like I deserved to eat something nice and different, so I got myself some lobster tacos!! They were super yummy!! But I forgot that here the taxes are added later, so it actually cost me even more than I expected... oh well, I'll just have to skip a few meals to make it up for it! Haha

The previous airports only had free wifi for 30 minutes, but thankfully, the wifi at the Montréal airport is unlimited, so it was actually some nice 5 hours of rest.

My next flight was also delayed, but only for half an hour. The plane was SO tiny!! Like, seriously!! There were about 30 seats!! Haha, but they gave us mini pretzels and water.

At 20h, I finally arrived in Sept-Îles, my final destination for the day... the sun was setting and it was quite pretty, but unfortunately I wasn't by the window.

From there I had to take a taxi to the hostel. I was told it would cost around CAD25.00, but thankfully it was less than C$23.00!

The lady at the front desk was really nice, but didn't speak much English. She showed me to my dorm (I had to carry my big bag to the basement) and I didn't have the energy to do much before going to bed, aside from showering.

Oh! I met this guy who's sharing the bunk bed with me, and was asking him about what to do tomorrow (my only day in Sept-Îles), and he mentioned this island that he was actually planning on going to tomorrow. So we'll do that.

Now time to get some rest so I can make the most of my time here!

[writingjusttowrite8]

Warmth (Chapter 11)

So, this is a little late… my bad. Life has been super hectic, but I graduated college so yay! This doesn’t contain much smut (though there is a bit), cuz it’s mostly fluffy romance. Tom’s hair has me feelin’ some type of way for a while now, so be prepared for the next chapter to be all about that lol. As always, thank you so much for your continued support in reading this story. I’ve gotten some really sweet messages that truly make me happier than words can describe, so thank you all so much for that. Please let me know what you guys think!

You can also read this on AO3! 

Part 1| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 |

-

I jumped into Tom's arms; ignoring how he ungracefully dropped the stuff he was carrying. He had clearly been working out; his chest was hard and wide and his arms were thicker than I remembered. I clutched his chest close to me and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"You're here, really here," I said, breathing in his scent. I felt his bearded chin nuzzle into the side of my face, and him placing gentle kisses on my cheek. I pulled back a bit to look at him, my eyes glassy, and run my hand through his beard.

"I had to come see you. I was going mad, especially after my drunken night of revelations. Seeing you over Skype and hearing your voice on the phone is great, but feeling you with my own hands is infinitely better," Tom said, gently letting me down to the floor.

"But, how did you have the time to-"

"I made time. I'll always make time for you," He said, placing both hands over my cheeks. My smile grew, and so did his before he leaned down to kiss me. It was hot and intense, feeling his lips move along with mine after so long without it. I wrapped my fingers in his longer hair and groaned at the feeling.

"God, love your hair like this," I groaned against his lips. I felt him smirk, but he didn't cease his movement. He was mauling my neck, pressing me against the wall outside of my suite. I hiked my leg around his him, and Tom held onto it and pulled it higher. His hips ground into mine and I felt myself get dizzy with anticipation.

"You know," I said while Tom kissed at the base of my neck, "there's a very large and private bed inside, if you want to get comfortable in there." In lieu of a verbal response, Tom hiked my entire body up, holding me, and walked me into the room before dropping me onto the bed. His lips found mine again, but something else crossed my mind. "My presents!" I shouted, which muffled against his lips.

"I'll get you more," He said, obviously consumed solely with getting me undressed. I whined in protest.

"I want those..." I said, tugging his hair. His head dropped to my shoulder and he grunted before quickly spinning around, getting the bear and chocolates from the hallway and slamming the door shut once more.

"May I properly ravish you now?" Tom asked, a slight hint of amusement and pain in his voice. I scooted up further onto the bed.

"Do your worst."

-

I awoke to soft snoring and the rhythmic rise and fall of a chest underneath me. I inhaled Tom's bare skin for what seemed like the millionth time in the last 12 hours, desperately trying to commit it to memory. I glanced at the clock to see 8:43 a.m. flashing, before looking up at Tom's peaceful sleeping face. He was getting so pale, his hair turning back to its natural ginger; that boy needs to see the sun more often. I shifted around a bit, not wanting to disturb our moment of serenity, but tried to climb up further onto Tom so I could kiss him. My hands played with his hair while I placed love bites on his neck. I felt him nuzzle into me, making his coarse beginning of a beard tickle my skin. I lifted my lips to his; eyes still closed, and licked his bottom lip for entrance. His tongue swirled with mine and I felt him grasp my hips. My core was still wet and slick from our multiple couplings last night, and I ground into him, feeling his erection come to life. One of his hands came up to kneed my breast and tweak my nipple, and his mouth never once faltered while on mine.

           I trailed one of my hands down between us to pump his cock a few times, almost getting embarrassed when I realized just how wet I was. I moaned into his mouth as I lifted my hips and guided him into me. His hand gripped me tighter as my head dropped to the side to catch my breath.

“I love having you… inside of me…” I breathed into the shell of his ear. He groaned and began bucking into me. I sat back, balancing on his chest and began moving up and down. His eyes were only slightly open, staring at me as I threw my head back in ecstasy. His hands grabbed at mine and he intertwined our fingers together. We moved slowly, relishing in the feel every stroke and soft touch. I leaned back down over him, so that I could kiss him as deeply as possible. I gasped as I came, rubbing my clit on the coarse and wiry hair at the base of his cock. He pumped himself into me a few more times before releasing into me. His cum felt hot and fulfilling, and I nearly passed out on top of Tom.

“I miss waking up like that,” he whispered into my ear. I smiled while still breathing heavily and chuckled a bit.

“Soon we’ll be able to wake up like this all the time,” I said. Tom rubbed his large, warm hands in soothing circles on my back.

“Indeed my love, we will. Soon,” He said, staring down at me. My smile faded a bit when a realization came over me.

“How long do you have here?” I asked, propping myself on my elbow to look at him.

“Today and tonight. I leave early tomorrow morning,” Tom said, sadness in his eye.

“How’s shooting going?” I asked, trying to get off the subject of him leaving.

“Well enough. The script isn’t as fully formed as I initially thought. I like it though; the producers actually listen to me, and the rest of us, when we want to make changes. I miss being a producer. I might have to try it out again soon,” A proud smile replaced the sadness that had washed over him. I let out a wide grin; I loved seeing such passion out of Tom. He was truly made to be an actor.

“I’m glad. But not too soon. We’re finally getting some time off in a couple weeks, remember?” I asked. Tom chuckled and rolled on top of me, brushing some hair out of my face.

“If this morning is any inclination as to what awaits me in our time off together, you better believe I will never forget it.”

             We showered and dressed quickly, and began eating breakfast in the small sitting area of my room. I was buttering a croissant when Tom asked me about a subject I’d nearly forgotten.

“Are you truly not mad at me for the way I announced our relationship. I know you’ve said you’re not, but I need you to be honest with me. It’s okay if you’re mad; to be honest, I’m a little mad at myself. I shouldn’t have let something as big as that slip,” he said.  I took a bit of my croissant before responding, wanting to choose my words carefully.

“I’m not mad; the only thing I’m mad about was that so many people got to see your fun, drunk side and I still haven’t. But in all seriousness, I’m not. It was bound to come out at some point, and the timing wasn’t ideal, but I doubt there would ever be an ideal time. If anything, I’m mad at myself. I feel bad for forcing you to hold it in for so long. If I had known that the sense of relief that overcame me when I found out, I would have never asked you to hide it. I want us to be a team, not just to each other, but also in the eyes of the world. Our lives are our own, and giving the power over to everybody else to dictate how our relationship should go isn’t something I want to do anymore. I want to be with you; I think I have from the moment I met you. I’m glad we don’t have to hide anymore. No matter the circumstance, I think what happened was for the best,” I said. We were sitting so close to each other I had to crane my neck up to look at him. He was contemplative, taking into consideration ever word I said.  I small, tender smile started on his lips, and I could have cried because of how happy it made me.

“You really are something different all together. I love you,” Tom said. I reached up and placed a tender kiss on his lips, with he returned with the same kind of love. It wasn’t the normal, heated kiss that ended with each other tangled in the sheets, but the kind of kiss that reassured intimacy in other forms.

“I love you too,” I said once we pulled apart, “but we’re in one of the most romantic cities in the world on valentines weekend. We should explore a bit before coming back here and fucking each other senseless.”

Tom’s eyebrows rose up at me. “Or we could just skip the exploring and go straight to the senseless fucking?” He gave me a cocky grin. I pouted and looked up at him through my lashes. He rolled his eyes and sighed, giving me a small smile of amusement. “Or we could do whatever you want to.” I smiled, grabbed his face and pulled him into a sweet kiss.

“Good choice.”

-

Paris was always beautiful, but it was even more beautiful being there with someone you love. Tom had been giving me lessons in French all day, trying to improve my very broken understanding of the language. But the way he was able to so flawlessly fit in to those around him never ceased to amaze me.

“I’ve worked here a lot. We came to France quite a bit as children and spent most of our holidays here. That’s really only why I know it so well,” Tom said, as we walked down the street.

“It is quite beautiful here; have you ever considered moving here?” I asked. Tom took a moment before responding, holding my hand a little closer and rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of it.

“Not really. Sometimes the beauty of a place can only remain if you keep it at a distance. I’m not sure I would like it the same way if I lived here,” He finally said.

“That’s very poetic,” I started, “keeping something at a distance so not to tarnish it’s beauty.” Tom shrugged

“Would you ever move here?” He asked me.

“No!” I responded much quicker than I should have. “I mean, I love London too much. Plus we’re away so often, that having another place to try to be together would just be too much,” I corrected. Tom chuckled a bit at me.

“Well, if you’re not here then I certainly would have no reason to be,” Tom said. He stopped us and pressed a sweet kiss onto my cheek. I blushed at such a public display of affection, especially after hiding it for so long. As I looked up at him when he pulled away, I realized there wasn’t any reason to hide, and let myself do what I’ve wanted to do for so long now. I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him back down for a deeper kiss. Our mouths moved in sync, and he grabbed my cheek with his large hand. I always hated couples who made such a spectacle of their relationship, but now I realized what I’d been missing out on. Kissing Tom so publically felt so freeing; as if I was finally saying ‘He’s mine! We’re together! And we can make out whenever we want because he’s mine!’

           I was the first to pull away from the kiss, but I pressed a few short ones as I pulled away. I looked up at him to see a flushed, boyish grin on his face, and my deep red lipstick smothered along his mouth.

“Sorry, I guess I got caught up,” I said biting my lip and using my thumb to get some of the lipstick off.

“I’m not sorry at all. I’m glad we finally get to do this now. And I intend to keep doing this for a very long time,” Tom said before pulling me into another mind-numbing kiss.

-

By the time Tom and I made it back to the room, we were clawing at one another. We’d barley shut the door before our lips were on each other’s again. He led me back to the bed, and I fell onto it with Tom towering over me. He grinned down at me and a devilish look overcame him. I started breathing heavier with anticipation. Tom trapped me between his arms, his face hovering over mine. I lifted my head to attach our lips, but he used one hand to gently push it down. For a few moments, Tom traced my skin with the tip of his nose, nuzzling me occasionally and making me giggle a bit whenever his beard would rub me. Finally he connected our lips, and I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. This kind of intimacy was so agonizingly wonderful. My hands were all over him; tracing his face, in his hair, down his neck, until a buzzing sound came from my purse.

I rolled over, fumbling around in my carelessly discarded purse before pulling out my phone. I finally got it and looked at my screen in confusion.

“Who is it?” Tom asked, between pressing ticklish kisses against my neck.

“It’s Henry… that’s odd,” I said. Tom kept kissing my neck, but I felt him falter a bit. I debated whether or not to answer it for a minute, before putting my phone down. But before I could actually get it down, I felt Tom’s hand slide down my arm and grab the phone from my hand. He accepted the call on the last ring and pressed it to his hear.

“Hello?” Tom said into the phone, nonchalantly. He sat back on his knees, keeping me pinned beneath him. I swatted his chest and mouthed ‘what are you doing?’ at him. Tom smirked down at me and I could hear Henry’s deep voice on the other end.

“This is her… boyfriend,” Tom said. Part of me was angry for answering it, but another part became curious as to why he had hesitated before saying ‘boyfriend’. I looked up at him and tried to get out of his grasp and tear the phone away from him, but he was able to hold my arms down with his free hand.

“Ah, well, unfortunately [Y/N] will be otherwise occupied tonight. She won’t be joining you,” He said smugly. Henry had called me wanting to go out? This was odd.

“That’s kind of you to offer, but I believe I’ll be more than capable of keeping [Y/N] entertained by myself. Have a good evening,” Tom hung up the phone. My cheeks burned; half from anger at his actions, half in embarrassment.

“What the hell, Tom!” I screamed at him, once he let me go. I pushed him off of me and walked to the other side of the room, after grabbing my phone from his hands.

“He knows you have a boyfriend, why would he be asking you out to dinner on Valentines Day?” Tom asked, a hint of anger playing in his voice. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Because he’s nice. He didn’t know you were in town and figured I’d be alone. Also, we’re coworkers! It isn’t exactly unheard of for coworkers to go to dinner together. We went out together plenty of times before we started dating!” I continued.

“Exactly, and look where we ended up!” He said standing up and walking in front of me.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked incredulously.

“We were friends well before we started dating,” Tom said, darkly. I looked at him in disbelief.

“You think I’m cheating on you?” I asked, my voice quiet.

“NO! But I don’t trust him! He shouldn’t be going after you, I thought it would be best to ward him off a bit,” Tom’s voice wavered a bit. I stood frozen. Anger, disbelief, and sadness coursed through my body.

“You honestly think that was the way to ‘ward him off’? Being rude to him? Speaking for me? Accusing him of intentions you have no way of proving? That’s really what you came up with?” I asked through gritted teeth. The realization of what he did finally washed over Tom. His angry expression faded, and his eyes dropped to the floor.

“He gets to be around you. You work with him every day. He gets to see you, to touch you, to feel you. I don’t. I’m thousands of miles away and some other man gets to be there for you. You have to understand how horrible it is for me to know this.” Tom said, staring at the floor.

“You don’t think I’m jealous too? That other women get to be around you and I don’t? Women constantly thrown themselves at you, Tom! I have to grin and bear it and it sucks but I do it! You’ll have to figure out a way to do it too!” I said. I relaxed my arms and rubbed my face. How can such a sweet, hot moment of love turn into… this.

“I’m sorry,” Tom whispered, “I shouldn’t have done that.” I took a deep breath.

“No you shouldn’t have. Why did you?” I asked. Tom sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m terrified of loosing you, of letting other people into our relationship. If anyone ever caught you two out, even just as friends, the media would jump on it and try to tear us apart. I’ve been through that before, and I’m not strong enough to ignore it all again. I can’t loose you, [Y/N]. I love you so much and my jealously got the best of me. I’m so sorry,” His eyes looked up to mine with a pleading look. I walked over to him, but he made no move to touch me. I placed my hands on either side of his face and looked up at him.

“We can’t let anyone tear us apart; not Henry, not the media, anyone. I won’t let them. I love you Tom, so much that it can be painful. Don’t let anyone else affect you like that. I’m with you, only you. Never doubt that,” I pleaded with him. I wasn’t angry anymore, just sad. The separation and unexpected announcement of our relationship had taken a major toll on us, and we hadn’t even realized it. His hand cupped mine, keeping it to his face, as he stared down lovingly at me.

“I won’t.”

-

The wind blew harshly against my face as we walked into the airport. The normal entrance was too crowded with paparazzi, so we were taken through a back entrance with significantly less weather coverage. I grabbed onto Tom’s arm tighter and he squeezed my hand in assurance. Despite my hatred of the cold, I was thankful that it was consuming my thoughts over what our actual purpose was here. Tom was leaving to go back to L.A. to finish filming. Though the trip was unexpected and quick, it stung a bit whenever he had to leave.

           We finally made it inside of a small side alcove connected to the boarding zone of the air plane, and the person who had been walking us in turned to us and told Tom it would be a few minutes before he could board. Tom nodded curtly and the man exited the area. I looked up at Tom while he placed his hands on either side of my face, smoothing out my hair.

“We’re getting better at this; I’m not even crying this time,” I joked. It was supposed to sound humorous, but my sadness drowned the fun out.

“You said it yourself; soon we won’t have to say goodbye for a while,” He reminded me.

“Yeah, but we’re having to say it right now,” I started, “Living in the present is a lot harder to do than looking to the future.”

“But that future will be much better. And it’s not that distant, only a few more weeks,” Tom said. I grimaced when he said weeks. His attempt to cheer me up was failing, and I felt bad for making it so hard.

“Thank you for coming out to see me. I’m really happy you came,” I said. He smirked mischievously.

“I believe we both came, quite a few times actually,” Tom teased. I playfully slapped his chest, embarrassed by his comment. He laughed at my reaction and tugged me in for a tight hug. I reciprocated the hug, holding onto him for dear life.

“I love you so much, never doubt that. I’m yours; entirely,” I whispered. Tom pulled back just a little, so that he could capture my lips in a deep kiss. I kissed back just as fervently. When he finally pulled away, we were both breathless.

“As am I. I love you,” Tom rested his forehead against mine. I looked into his eyes once more, and pressed a very quick last kiss. The man who led us here cleared his throat, alerting us to his presence. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, but Tom didn’t seem to mind.

“Call me when you get to L.A.,” I said, voice breaking a bit. Tom nodded, stepping back towards the plane, but still holding onto my hand. He pressed a kiss to the back of my hand while maintaining eye contact, before dropping it and turning to board. I watched him for a few moments, waved back at him when he quickly spun around to wave at me, and wiped my eyes for the few stray tears that had fallen.

Only a couple more weeks, I told myself, then Tom and I can truly start our lives together.

[yourstateofdreaming]

Don’t Hang Around With Boys Like You Mini Series: Part 2. Papa always warned me

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next 

Summary: Y/N has a hard time dealing with some issues and finds comfort in one super-soldier’s company.

Word Count: 1790

Warnings: I guess it’s a little Angsty, low levels of fluff near the end.

You pushed yourself up once again, Steve was always in charge of training and although you did not enjoy sweating, you were happy to stay in Midgard while Thor was back in Asgard.

Having a handsome and friendly face to look at every now and again helped too…

Since that little trip around the city with Bucky, you found out that there was a lot more about the man with the metal arm than the rest of the team thought. He simply needed someone to talk to, and you realized in the past couple of months that while Steve wanted to help him, Bucky would not allow himself to worry his friend.

Your arms brought you up and down effortlessly while Wanda counted. Her face was completely red from her set of push-ups, but even after an entire hour working out, you were now just starting to sweat.

“Y/N?” Wanda attracted your attention, “you should be careful.” She warned.

You sighed, Wanda had read your thoughts while you were working out, of course. If there was something on your mind right now was the sight of Bucky doing pull-ups in the bar right across from you.

From her seat on the ground next to you, Wanda kept pressing the small button to keep counting until you reached a hundred.

“Maybe don’t read my mind.” You pointed out through gritted teeth, finally sitting down to rest.

Growing up with Loki as your brother prepared you to be able to handle someone playing tricks or even blatantly annoying you, but the sheer intrusion on your most private of things, your mind, was something that you couldn’t help but be livid about.

Even when you try your best to remind yourself that these Midgardians know no better, you feel the sting of superiority, which you hate to recognize in your own person.

“You know he is…”

Wanda intended on giving you the same lecture everyone liked giving you; in response, you snapped at her and gave her a charming smile like the one you learned from Loki. So wicked and sour, yet how enticing…

“I don’t need to read your mind to know that you have been sneaking out with Vision.” You comment with a slight shrug and watch her eyes open wide and brows shoot up.

Your smile turned into a grin and your eyes narrowed for her to feel the warning laced with your words as you spoke through gritted teeth.

“Don’t try me, Maximoff.”

You stood up all of a sudden, and went to Steve, he was in the corner, having a conversation with Sam.

The Captain is smiling, relaxed as he coaches the whole team. Sam is holding a towel in his hand and as he watched you approach he pursed his lips into a tight smile, bowing his head the slightest. As a reply, you bow the same way and watched him throw the white towel on his shoulder.

“Rogers,” you started, “I’m done.”

Steve frowned, moving his feet slowly he turns around looking for Wanda. He shakes his head and points an accusing finger at your face.

“Finish another round.” He instructed.

“No.” You said with confidence. “I am done.”

You place your hands on your hips over the tight pair of black pants you wore at the gym. Steve goes to speak but you shake your head and turn back around. It was as if everywhere you went people had a say on what you could, should, or would do; leaving Asgard changed nothing about it.

Odin was mad, telling you about your duties and then going on about how you were not ready to fulfil your destiny as princess of Asgard. If only you had been born a boy…he would have given you more…love. But you had your father’s - the All Father’s cordiality. You never had a chance to sit on the throne, mostly because you were a girl and secondly because you were born third after Loki.

So you were still getting lectured, still being prohibited from the things that mattered most to you, the people you needed most.

“Y/N.”

Steve called when you walked into the gym to leave. Knowing that he might give you some sort of punishment, you decided on taking him down in the fairest way; you found the weapons on the rack next to the wall and threw a shield his way, grabbing a sword for yourself.

“This is not part of the training,” Rogers called out.

“I know.”

You showed him a smile and ignored the rest of the team as they stopped what they were doing and watched.

“If you win I’ll stay if you lose you let me go.”

Steve sighed, usually, you were easy to work with; whenever you started getting difficult Thor would step in and put you in your place. Right now your brother was gone, so Steve could only do some sparring with you, although he was sure it would not matter who won, you were going out of the gym once this was over.

He was still relaxed when you launched yourself at him, your sword hit the shield and Steve had to put one of his feet back to stand his ground. You hit the shield a few times and tried to stick your sword on whatever little holes you could spot in his defence.

Since Steve was keeping you busy, you guessed he wanted to tire you, so you changed strategies and threw the sword to the side, jumping and landing a kick to the side of the shield, sending it flying across the room.

“That’s pretty unfair!” Someone yelled.

“I don’t mind.”

Rogers smiled and threw his punches at you in a second. With swift waist moves you dodged his fists, catching his foot in the middle of a kick, you twisted and pushed forward, sending him stumbling to the ground in a matter of seconds.

“I think I’ll leave now,” you yelled as you ran to the door, “before Cap gets up!”

When you ran out of the gym you aimed to go outside and try to catch some fresh air to calm you down. Your temper was your biggest flaw, but sometimes you wondered if anyone cared at all about you. Not about the Goddess, or the princess. You wanted to be your own self, to have your own decisions. To simply be Y/N. And all you got were always orders disguised as advice or requests, some shamelessly thrown at you, some hidden by manipulation.

The air hit your face, feeling cold and sharp with the smell of pines. The woods around you seemed to open up to let you see the road to a clearing. You looked up and asked Heimdall to keep the secret for you while you sat down on the dirt and stared at the clouds, counting the birds that flew by to distract you from the turmoil in your head.

You had been seeing him in secret. In the start, you have wanted to hear more of his story, Bucky seemed to have a lot on his plate and you were there to listen when he was scared of talking to anyone else. Sometimes he would know something was wrong with you, he would hold your hand and call you some endearing Midgardian way. “It’ll be fine, doll” was your favourite as he repeated it a lot.

The clouds gathered in the sky and turned it a perfect chaotic blue colour that caught your breath. Thor. You thought, but he was being you the rain, he was aware of you right now or at least that’s what you felt this was. A soft rain spilt over the trees and you smiled as you let it wash over you with your arms extended over the green leaves and bright grass. Rolling on your side you spotted a little rabbit hopping around a larger one, you reached out and your fingertips grazed over the smallest animal’s brown fur before a single tear left your eye as you admired the beauty Midgard was blessed with. The bunny hopped away with its mother and you gasped at the sudden move.

Once the rain stopped it took a while before you got back to the compound and locked yourself in your room to avoid everyone. You took a shower and cleared your head, preparing to go to bed and skipping dinner.

After tossing and turning for a couple of hours you left you sat up and rubbed your face, looking around your room you went outside and tiptoed the familiar way to Bucky’s room.

The door was perpetually locked, so you sheepishly made the choice of knocking, rubbing your hands together as you tried to listen to any noise he made while he stepped out of bed and came to open the door.

You had visited his room in various occasion, just never past midnight, Bucky was -as you learned from human media- old-fashioned. As was Steve.

The humans were fun, you wore comfortable clothes all the time, for instance, you wore a thing they called “pyjamas”. Usually, you would prefer to simply sleep naked, but seeing as everybody else walked around the kitchen in their pyjamas after long missions, you decided on going to Nat for a pair of light blue shorts and a white shirt. Pyjamas!

“What is it?”

Bucky opened the door with his eyes almost closed; the moment he realized he was looking at you, his brow furrowed and he stuck his head out to have a quick look around to make sure there was nobody else with you before tilting his hips to the side and lean his forearm on the door.

“What’re you doing here, doll?” He wondered in a low raspy voice, to which you blushed.

“I couldn’t sleep…” You whispered, “I just…”

You realized how stupid the whole thing was and closed your eyes, breathing through your mouth, saying you were sorry for waking him.

“I’m so sorry, I’m…shouldn’t have come here, I’m sorry!” You repeated with a whispered worry evident in your eyes.

Bucky chuckled and straightened up, opening the door and reaching out to grab your hand as you tried to cover your face with it, he pulled you towards the room and said it was okay.

“You can stay.” He closed the door behind you and you finally took a good look at him.

He was wearing only a pair light grey pants, his muscular body on full display. Bucky went back to his bed, walking barefoot. Reaching the right side he pulled the covers away and snuck in, sighing when he rested his head on the pillow.

[ilovethings-somuch]

I know it has been a while but I am just thought I asked, if you are busy it is okay! Reader/Sebastian Stan- he tries to help you while you suffer from sinuses as it is spring time! while trying to occupy the kids and the pets? P.s hugs love ya hope everything is going well!

The sound of the baby crying is always the first thing to wake me on a Saturday. Normally Saturdays are my favorite day of the week. The one of the few days I get to spend with Sebastian as well as all the kids, but when I woke up this morning with the inability to breathe through my nose I knew it was going to be a rough one.

“Seba” I croak, finding that my throat has also grown sore overnight. He rolls to face me, a look of concern taking over his previously relaxed features.

“Are you okay?” he runs his hand over my forehead, checking for fever before continuing down my cheek.

“It’s probably just allergies” I assure him.

“Oh no, the zoo will not be help with that” he tells me sympathetically.

“Oh, but the kids will be so disappointed. It’ll be fine, I’ll make it”

“No. No you are going to stay here. I will take the kids to the zoo. That way you can relax and get better, and the kids still get their fun Saturday”

“Seb you don’t have to do that” I try fight with him but the fact that my voice is coming and going isn’t helping my argument.

“I’m not arguing with you about this. I want you to be as healthy as possible for our time together. Besides, it’s been awhile since I’ve taken the kids anywhere without you. You deserve a break”

“Fine” I mumble and he kisses my forehead before sliding out of bed and heading towards the nursery.

I follow shortly behind but make a stop in the bathroom for some allergy medication. I head to the kitchen to make sure everyone gets breakfast and pack a picnic lunch for everyone.

“I thought you were supposed to be relaxing” Sebastian scolds me when he comes into the kitchen.

“Well I wanted to make sure you didn’t forget anything. I packed a picnic for you and I-” Sebastian cuts me off by turning my by the shoulders and leading me out to the living room.

“Seb, I ju-”

“Nope. I don’t wanna hear whatever it is you’re going to say. You’re going to sit here and watch TV or sleep. You are not going to help us get ready for the day” He starts to walk away and I’m about to follow him when he turns around, pointing at me and tells me to stay.

“I’m not a dog, you know!” I shout after him.

“You’re right, Bell listens better than you do!” he calls back, making our dog run to him at the mention of her name. I pout for awhile before giving up and covering myself with a blanket and turning the TV on.

“Mommy, Mommy! Are you ready for the zoo? We’re going to see the lions and, Daddy’s favorite, the Pandas” Our 4 year old, Oliver, bounds onto the couch with me. I listen to him ramble on about all we’re going to see until Sebastian appears and intervenes.

“Mommy’s gonna stay home today, okay Ollie? She doesn’t feel very good”

“Mommy’s sick?” he asks Seb.

“Just some allergies, I’ll be okay soon, I just need to rest today”

“Which means you,” Sebastian say, pointing to Oliver, “need to come with me”

Oliver gives me a hug before following Sebastian out of the room. I hear our youngest, Greyson, crying from his bedroom and am about to go fetch him when Sebastian passes the living room with a pointed look at me and goes to Greyson’s room instead. Even though it’s hard for me to let Seb do all the work, it is enjoyable to watch how well he’s able to handle everybody.

“Mom, Dad said you aren’t coming with us” our oldest, Charlotte, interrupts my train of thought.

“I’m sorry honey, I really want to, but Daddy said I need to stay home so that I can feel better”

“But you promised we’d see the sea lion show while the babies watch the penguins with Dad, you know I hate how they smell” she wrinkles her nose at the thought.

“Oh you’re right, how about I talk to Dad and we’ll see if we can convince him” I start making my way to the nursery with Charlotte following behind me. I make it to the hallway before Sebastian appears with Greyson on his hip.

“What are you doing up? Charlie I told you to leave your Mom alone”

“Charlie just reminded me that I promised her the sea lion show. I have to come with”

“Nope. It’s not happening” he says quickly, “You go lay down. Charlie come with me, I need your help”

Both of us pout at him but he manages to keep his straight face as he walks past us. Charlotte trudges after him towards the kitchen and I go back to the couch. Sebastian manages to keep all the kids preoccupied enough to leave me alone right up until they’re ready to leave.

“Okay, go say goodbye to Mommy” I hear Sebastian tell the kids right before Oliver runs and jumps on my lap.

“Bye Mommy!” he yells into my ear as he wraps his little arms around my neck.

“Bye, Ollie, you be good for Daddy, okay?”

“Okay!” he jumps off the couch again and runs towards the door to put his shoes on.

“Bye Mom” Charlotte pouts as she gives me a hug.

“Hey, I promise I’ll take you to the sea lion show another time, okay? Just you and me, no boys. Help Dad with Ollie, please?” She nods her agreement and follows Ollie out the front door.

“Where’s my baby?” I hold my arms out for Greyson and he smiles and starts babbling at me. “I can’t believe you’re taking his first trip to the zoo away from me” I glare at Sebastian.

“I’ll take lots of pictures” he assures me as he takes Greyson back into his arms. “I love you, sleep, drink lots of water, I’ll bring home your favorite soup for dinner” He pecks my lips between each command, causing Greyson to giggle and grab at our faces.

“I love you too, call me if you need anything” He smiles his agreement and heads out the door after the kids.

I’m surprisingly able to get a good amount of sleep in, and the humidifier that Seb set up in the living room is doing wonders for my sore throat. I wake up sometime around 4 with Bell asleep on my lap. I decide to take a shower before everyone gets home. I check my phone to find a ton of picture messages from Sebastian. Some of Ollie hugging the glass in front of the Lion enclosure, a couple of Greyson with ice cream all over his cheeks, and even one of Charlotte smiling at the Sea Lion show. I send him a bunch of heart emojis back and hop in the shower.

By the time I’m out I can hear voices from the living room. I get dressed quickly and make my way out to the living room.

“Mom!” Charlotte yells first, “did you see? Dad took me to the Sea Lion show! And we skipped the stinky penguins”

“I did see, did you have a good day with the boys?”

“I did” she hugs me, “Dad’s getting dinner set out in the kitchen, he told me to come get you”

“Oh well let’s not keep him waiting then” I follow her to the kitchen, the wonderful smell of my favorite soup taking over the air. “Oh this smells amazing”

“Does that mean you can smell again?” Seb asks hopefully as he crosses the kitchen to me.

“I suppose it does, but I wouldn’t get too excited, sometimes that’s just from the shower”

“Darn” he shrugs before kissing me. “Did you sleep?”

“I did, and I drank lots of water and some tea. Thank you for the humidifier by the way”

“I figured you might need it more than Greyson’s empty room” he tells me nonchalantly.

“How were the boys?” I ask him, noticing that Greyson is almost asleep in his dinner and Oliver is on his way out too.

“They were good, Greyson slept in the stroller around 1 but only for a little while. Oliver only got crabby right before lunch, and maybe a little when I told him there weren’t any dragons at this zoo” he whispers the last part, making me laugh.

“Oh no, now he’s going to make him go to a zoo that does have dragons”

“No, it’s okay, I explained to him that dragons are too dangerous to be kept in zoos” he assures me through his quiets chuckles.

“Oh good!”

“Mommy, what’s so funny?” Oliver perks up when he notices me laughing.

“Nothing, honey, nothing at all. How is your dinner? Did you like the zoo?”

He forgets about our laughter quickly and starts telling me about everything he saw. Sebastian joins us at the table, setting a bowl of soup in front of me before digging into his own meal. I smile around the table, enjoying these little bits of our life that are completely domestic.

A/N: Well this ended up being longer than I planned, but I hope you like it! Domestic Sebastian is definitely my favorite Sebastian. oh also, when you sent me this I was like “but it’s fall.. not spring..?” and then I remembered that you’re in a different hemisphere than me 😂

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[awesomest-awesomer]

Dreams: Cheater!Levi x Reader

(Y/N)’s POV

I open my eyes and see a crystal clear body of water. I’m lying on the sand and although I would normally be irked that this sand will be going in places that sand should not go, I find myself at peace. There’s something in my hand, I look down at my hand and see another. I follow the owner’s arm with my eyes and see the love of my life and my current boyfriend, Levi, looking at me with love and adoration a stark contrast to his normally bored and stoic visage. Normally I would soak in this beautiful yet rare experience but now I know that I’m in a fantasy world. The man I fell in love with would never look at me with love and happiness but instead disgust and shame and its all my fault.

Its my fault because I’m worthless, ugly and undeserving of even a glance of Levi and recently he’s been that to me everyday for the past month. I sigh and shift closer to the fake Levi, this dream started off so well but now is so bitter that I want to wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up…

I open my eyes for real this time. My eyes are met with the boring white ceiling, I move my hand around the other side of the bed and is met with cold and empty sheets.

He’s gone to work early again.

I’m not surprised anymore. For the past month Levi has been leaving for work early in the morning and coming home late at night. I always thought that he was just a hard worker or was trying to get promoted but now I think otherwise. I don’t know what he’s doing but I do know that whatever it is has been putting a wall between me and Levi. Its weird that we live in the same house but never talk to each other anymore maybe its because we don’t see each other either.

When me and Levi started dating he was kind and generous, always putting my feelings and needs above his own. I know he may not seem like it because of the stoic facade he usually puts on but he’s actually a nice person who cares about the people in his life. He always showered me with kisses, hugs, cuddles and little tokens of appreciation so much so that it was no longer surprising to feel an arm come out of nowhere for a hug or a pair of lips finding their way onto my cheeks, forehead, hand and finally my lips but now that pleasant normality went away faster than the speed of light.

“I have extra work today I’m going to be late.”

“I don’t have time for your neediness when there’s work to be done.”

“No (Y/N) I won’t give you a kiss I don’t have time for that.”

Those were just some of the many excuses he made but today’s excuse was far worse than anything that he has ever said.

“No (Y/N) I won’t be home early today. Why would I? There’s nothing special about this day. Now would you stop being so clingy and needy all the goddamn time I have more important things to do than look after you.”

That was the response that I got today when I called him. I felt tears well up in my eyes. “Yeah the day we first confessed our love to each other is just another day.” I say after he hanged up.

Am I the reason he’s acting so cold? Am I too clingy? Too ugly? Too fat?

~Time Skip to 1 am~

I stayed up late tonight, too worried about Levi to actually fall asleep. I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen in search for some food when I hear the front door open. “That was a lot of fun! I never knew that one man could make feel so happy and naughty at the same time but then again you’re just full of surprises!” An annoyingly high pitched female voice says.

“Whatever. Get lost, you might wake up my girlfriend.” Levi says

“Fine.” She says with a sigh. “See you tomorrow.”

I hear the door close and immediately walk up to him. “Why were you out so late?” I ask

“I was working.” He says exhaustively.

Normally I wouldn’t question him but after his conversation with whoever that girl was I know that he’s hiding something. Is he cheating? “How was your day.”

“Fine.”

I sigh and ask “Who was that girl you were talking to?”

“Just a colleague from work.”

“It sounded like she was more.”

Levi sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “Could you stop being so clingy. Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

“Well maybe I wouldn’t be like this if you didn’t forget our anniversary.”

“Why would I even want to remember the day I got stuck with you!” he yells looking at me straight in the eyes with fire in his own.

I gasp and feel tears well up but hold them back so I don’t seem weak in front of Levi. “Why are you like this? What did I do to turn you into this? Please Levi talk to me. What can I do?”

“You could do nothing like always, you stupid brat.”

I turn my to him. “Fine. Don’t tell me. You’re sleeping alone tonight.” I say as I walk to the bedroom and lock the door. I body slam onto the bed with a sigh as I finally release the tears that I have been so desperately trying to hold in. What happened to the Levi I know and loved?

I close my eyes and dive into the world of my dreams, the one place where I’m safe.

I’m running up the stairs of my apartment but I’m way past my place and I seem to be on the last floor but I still continue to run, run from what I don’t know. I’m on the roof now and I’m close to the ledge. Feeling quite bold in this dream state I stand right on the ledge. I look down at city beneath my feet, everyone so busy with their own problems that mine seem miniscule. I hear the door open behind me and I turn to look who it was.

Levi.

Why was he here? I was about to ask that when I felt his hand on my back, the warmth of his hand is felt on my clothed skin. I relax into his touch when he suddenly pushes me causing me to fall of the ledge.

I’m falling…

Falling…

Falling…

Before I hit the ground I open my eyes and find that I am back in my room. I’m shaken by the dream because it felt so real. What does this mean?

I have no time to ponder my dream, I’m a woman on a mission. I have to find out what Levi’s not telling me, I have to go to his place of work.

I get on the bus and make my way to Survey Corps International. I enter the building and get greeted with a smile by my best friend Hanji Zoe. “Morning (Y/N). What are you doing here?” she asks.

“I’m here to see Levi.” I say.

As soon as I said that Hanji’s smile instantly drops. “I don’t think thats a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“If you go up there you’re going to get hurt.” she sighs then says. “But its better if you find out sooner rather than never. His office is on the 25th floor.”

“Thank you Hanji.” I say. I turn towards the elevator and get inside and hit the big 25 button. The ride up is smooth with no interruptions. The door slowly opens and I get out only to find my friend and Levi’s boss Erwin Smith look straight at me.

“(Y/N)?” He asks with his beautiful eyebrows raised. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see Levi.”

He sighs quickly after I say that and begins to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Okay it’s about time you found out anyways. His office is the first one on your right.”

I furrow my brow confused by his statement but thank him before heading down to Levi’s office. As soon as I reach the door I hear sounds that are very sexual. I open the door and see Levi pantsless fucking his secretary Petra Ral on his desk. I gasp in horror alerting them to my presence.  

“(Y/N)?” Levi asks shocked.

I found myself in shock so much so that I find it hard to move. I can’t breathe. The world begins to spin and my entire body feels heavy. My world becomes dark as I fall to the ground in a deep sleep.

~Time Skip~

I wake up on the bed of me and Levi’s room with a throbbing headache. After a few minutes of confusion my memories came back to me and hit me like a brick.

Levi cheated on me…

With Petra…

And everybody knew…

But nobody told me.

I feel sobs begin to rack my body. Why? Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this? In midst of my thoughts the door opened revealing Levi.

“Hey honey. How are you feeling?” he asks in a calm voice.

“Don’t ‘honey’ me I want answers. Why did you do it? Was I not enough?”

“Everythings going to be fine babe we’re going to get through this together.” he says while stroking my hair.

I slap his hand away and get out of the bed. “Its not okay. I was crying alone and silently suffering while you’re having the time of your life.”

“Its okay babe, I’m here now.” he says while trying to hug me but I push him away.

“But you weren’t there when I needed you.” I say while tears run down my face. I turn towards the door and say. “You use to make me feel alive when I’m with you and I’m sorry but now the only place you do that for me is in my dreams. I’m sorry but I can’t live with the lie you call your love. I’m sorry that I can’t live without you.”

I run through the door and exit the apartment building. I hear Levi calling out my name but it falls on deaf ears.

I’m sorry.

I’m running up the stairs of my apartment way past the place that I use to call home as I seem to be on the last floor but I still continue to run, run from what I still don’t know. I’m on the roof now and I’m close to the ledge. I stand right on the ledge, I look down at city beneath my feet, everyone so busy with their own problems that mine seem miniscule. I hear the door open behind me and I turn to look who it was.

Levi.

Funny how similar this was to my dreams except this time Levi is crying and telling me to get down from the ledge.

Don’t worry Levi I’ll get off soon.

You’re going to push me. Not physically but emotionally and mentally.

And that’s exactly how I fall.

I’m falling…

Falling…

Falling…

As the concrete comes closer and closer I close my eyes and think…

I’m finally going to be allowed to dream forever.

For more stories go to my Levi x Reader Oneshots on Wattpad:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/112904348-levi-x-reader-oneshots