#might fuck around and write about it idk
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Holy shit I just realized that my dreams have a version of PotO (Broadway version) where the Phantom just fuckin shoots Raoul in his box and it apparently happens not long after Masquerade? Like in place of the Red Death scene they all go into the theatre and Raoul is in box 5 alone for some reason and Erik just. Shoots the poor guy with a period-typical pistol and disappears. Raoul recovers eventually but its like the turning point of the story yk.
#also Philippe is in it!!!!!#hes the one that finds Raoul and takes care of him afterwards :)#also i have reoccurring dreams about being part(?) of a local theatre priduction of it#my position in the musical changes sometimes but the Raoul Getting Shot part is canon#to the degree where I noticed it was coming up and was confused when it didn't#turns out they wanted to try pushing it back a bit and I Did Not Vibe With That#most of the time im either a background actor or set design but once im pretty sure I was Raoul?#which was cool :)#bc in Dream Fashion the actors actually looked like my headcanons for the characters#so i got to be hadley fraser lol#i distinctly remember being on the set crew and getting excited when they got to Masquerade#bc it meant my favorite part was coming up lol#like i feel bad for Raoul bc hes my blorbo but the Tension! the Drama!#might fuck around and write about it idk#poto#phantom of the opera#rip Raoul you deserve better but Damn That Character Arc
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deciding to headcanon that the lighthouse makes people feel Calm and Docile and Relaxed to excuse the fact that more of the companions aren't as mad as lucanis that ANY of this is happening
#I CAN FEEL THE HATERISM IN MY BONES STARTING TO STIR LIKE LYRIUM#for the record. i think the game is fun. and i think it's the most gorgeous game ever made#bar none.#but like................................................................... . . .... ....#ALMOST ALL OF THE WARDENS ARE DEAD. ALMOST ALL OF THEM.#AND ALSO DID IT EVEN MATTER BECAUSE THE BLIGHT WAS JUST#THE GODS FUCKING AROUND AGAIN#i'll be real the least interesting thing abt dragon age has always been the magic to me#i like MAGES. but i think the sociopolitical landscape of thedas + the worldbuilding outside of magic#is the most interesting part for me#i think my biggest problem is that it feels like a dragon age game writing wise#like w companions and quests and banter#but it doesn't feel like the dragon age world#idk. i'm having fun but yeah i think a lot of the general criticisms are weighing on me which#i did not think would happen (tho i've also been in a months long depressive spiral and genuinely have not#enjoyed basically anything and nothing feels real and everything feels like a bad dream so like whatever)#the biggest thing abt dragon age for me has always been like#it has been such a creative inspiration for me in so many avenues and in so many different eras of my life#i've been writing DA fic since i was 17. i started getting mutuals around 18.#that's 6 years!!!!! i've been writing fic!!!#i play like 3 hours of origins or inquisition and wanna go write a bunch of fics#but all my fic ideas so far are about like. Well what if the game never happened and my OCs#met their ROs somewhere else in some way else#which to me ISN'T a good sign.#part of da's staying power to me is how much it inspires me. i don't feel inspired right now#i'm struggling to keep up in some ways with veilguard and also feel like it's struggling to catch up#to itself and the weight of it's own choices#anyway. starting to feel disappointed but like i said months long depression#so i'm repressing it like crazy and might never actually feel or breach that emotion#in any depth. but whatever.
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footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia
#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain#way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right#but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion#this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me#how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk#I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it#but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid#theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some#universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice#source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING#THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific#than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍#nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I#really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk#the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will#understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿#Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best#but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment#im rambling the short version is I have adhd#yapping
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thinking about Joel Miller set in a southern gothic background
#okay hold on but preacher joel miller#very much touch starved and depraved and morally fucked preacher joel miller who has his eyes set on the newest convert#my girlies with religous trauma stand up#i need to read an obsessive joel miller fic NOW!#im just imagining him baptizing her and only thinking about how the water flows around her curves like that scene in immaculate#i might need to write fucked up miller idk just a man in his 50s who def couldnt give 2 shits about god#obsessed with this homeschooled all her life socially depraved girl#OR detective joel who investigates a trail of homocides sharp objects style#imagining him all sweaty and in a button up with suspenders all the time for his holsters#someone talk to me about this i fear ive lost my mind#this is like all inspired by sharp objects/ starling girl/ devil all the time
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Hold on, baby, you're losing it The water's high, you're jumping into it, and letting go And no one knows That you cry, but you don't tell anyone That you might not be the golden one And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone
#chrissy cunningham#strangerthingsedit#chrissycunninghamedit#gracevandienedit#stladies#stedit#stranger things#everything is a choice everything we queue#I'm not happy with this at all lmao like I kept messing up#but the longer I keep trying to mess around the more I'm going to hate it so fuck it ghjk might as well post#my edit#I also still don't know how to write this chorus down because of the pauses so I mostly just copied and pasted it from genius lyrics pfft#but honestly this song feels so chrissy to me (apart from maybe the 2nd verse idk about that)
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Woke up thirsting for Javier Peña
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honestly not enough people write HRT as a casual thing like. as someone who kinda wants to go on T to see if it treats me well (unrealistic i know). i just. not enough people are writing it casually ig. like its just another thing that people do.
#you can tell im writing a transfemme fic again and thinking about my own gender and if i ever wanna go on HRT#idk. on the rare chance i write a fic with HRT or transition its just so fucking casual.#even if it is the center of the fic and what it revolves around#might be projecting hardcore on the whole 'see i am THIS but idgaf how people see me i know whats up' thing
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tumblr's search function works so well. wish I could find the post i was looking for though.
#did an ask game about titles. answered asks.#and then somehow misplaced my paper that i was using to link titles to works bc i was too lazy to retitle the docs.#and now. i can't remember what the fics were lmao.#I'm. good at this.#i know one was about water. i know one talked about blood.#but somehow ive forgotten the selkie au title i was working on.#i know i answered the ask game. cannot find the answer#frustrated! i am so dumb!#i have like 3 song lyrics that deal directly with water and i camt! remember! which! one! i! picked!#i was thinking 'underneath the waves you were most alone' but thats Sad.#'where the light shivers offshore' was another contender but im p sure i remembered that one *after* i answered the ask.#what the fuck was the third one#i think I'm gonna change it to 'where the light shivers offshore (through the tides of oceans)' bc 1. love that lyric 2. love that song#but im. Annoyed!#also might shift around some other titles bc i kinda want to shift 'never so much blood pulled through my veins' from the thing fusion#and switch it to my time travel AU#idk. titles hard.#frustrated#writing woes
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#OKAY BUT LIKE. IT STARTED AS A JOKE BUT LIKE. HEAR ME OUT..............#could be fun if suki and jie have a bit of a situationship that absolutely blows up when suki decides to leave the island#could be fun!!#suki could be absolutely in the wrong!!#could be a little heartbreaking!!#casual came on while i was folding laundry and i'm still nonstop thinking about this fic and...........#could be fun!#we'll see if it makes the final draft lol#writing tag#idk i've been thinking about how sure the warriors all call each other sister#but i think it would be very common for the warriors to date other warriors#so how does that conversation go? probably something as simple as ''can we stop being sisters?''#look i love breaking characters' hearts and i'm just compelled to break jie's with suki never ''being in the place'' to commit to anything#and so it's this casual situaitonship that jie just deludes herself into believing that they'll lead the koi bay warriors Together one day#and that suki will definitely come around -- she's just reeling from the loss that surrounds them -- she just Needs Time--#and then right before her fucking eyes this asshole boy shows up from the southern water tribe with the avatar and suddenly--#now suki's ready to leave the island and???????????#i might even let her see suki kiss sokka's cheek like.#could be fun! could be heartbreaking!!#could be just me who feels that way but like this fic is FOR ME so like.
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[cw vent: chronic illness, general world politics mention w no detail)
"man. i'm so tired. i feel like i can't do anything selfship related. is it because my energy's been sapped from family visiting and everyone wanting to do ~summer activities~ nonstop? am i so in my head about "getting ren's story right without stepping over any lines" that i've backed myself into a perfectionist corner? is the world just going to shit so hard that i can't have one (1) minute of escape on this blog before going back to working through the political hellscape we're in? god even trying to make this plushie pattern is killing me even though i want to hold my guy So Badly AUGH."
/finishes the plushie pattern after trying multiple body bases and literally buying a japanese ebook about plushie face and hair design/
"actually what if i lived forever and spent all of that time making an army of these fuckers to swim in? what then?"
#obviously tagging this as#vent -#lol. lmao. anyway.#when i say i spent all day on this... jumping from base to base trying to find one that worked well for what i wanted#and had the right face shape and the easiest way to map a face onto it and know it'll look Right when embroidered...#and then i just caved and bought a book i'd been looking at since i started making mini ren lol#(by p.iyo p.icco -- their y.outube videos influenced mini ren's design and i plan to give that credit once i post final pics#along with the person who made the 10cm doll base i used.)#and it took so much effort and i kept thinking about how Fucking Tired i am and how frustrating it is that playing cards w family#means i have to spend 2 days recovering bc sitting up + in a chair w no good support + mental games + being social = negative battery.#and then i keep going in circles about ren's backstory and the whole 'this is a story about conditions i have but for anyone#who doesn't know me it DEFINITELY reads like a gross story about a stigmatized condition i DON'T have so i have to tread#very carefully when writing about it... but i don't practice writing like i practice art so i'm simply not at the skill level#to navigate that and it makes me feel like i can't post any of that until i figure it out' Thing...#but i DID finish my plushie pattern. and i will start on it sometime this week? depending on Factors? and if i reeeeally like how it#turns out i might buy The Plushie Making Fabric™... i checked at a craft store and buying 1/4yd of both fabrics won't break the bank...#and then i could make all of his AU selves w different expressions 😏#anyway. recovery officially starts in a few days (doc appts and pest control coming over this week + dogsitting in a few days.#not great for recovery lol lmao.) so hopefully i'll be more Around here by this weekend. idk. don't hold me to that kjsndkjn#i might get sucked into plushie making again and disappear for 3 days straight kjsdnfkjsdnf ;;;#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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it's so interesting for me to hear that houses localization changed the script to vilify(?word?) the church bc when i played the game (i recently finished my first and so far only playthrough in lions route) for the first half of the game i was waiting for the shoe to drop to reveal the church is the big bad guys but it never came and the revealed was actually ed. idk if it should have been obvious but i was too focused on suspecting the church to see it or if it was actually subtle as i tend to be oblivious to hints(¿word again?) given in media lol.
idk where im going with this but i hope it makes at least some sense bc i am so sleep deprived rn
and the thing tou said about Henry being changed i am so curious of that too
hope you have a nice day and better sleep than me!
I'll answer the last part first since the rest is more descriptive.
Basically Henry went to Wizard School (tee em) and it was a cool and great experience. In JP, it was... iirc basically close to torture/hellish? It was a more mature situation/topic, but the loc changed it to be silly and fun sounding. For some reason Treehouse in particular seems deeply if not fatally allergic to mature topics and/or properly handling them.
Thank for about the sleep comment and I assure you, I sleep too often!! I wish I could send you some of my sleep and make it extra quality for you. :(
As for Three Houses, yeah, in AM it doesn't really happen that way. Nobody is really vilified (not even the imperialist warmonger invading neutral lands!) in AM (same with AG in Hopes).
What you saw/understood was the whole point! It was made it look at first like the Church was suspicious, but then the reveal was meant to be no, it was a fellow house leader all along. That was what the red herring part about the Church was all about. You were supposed to suspect the Church at first, hence Jeralt's warnings, and if you're playing GD, Claude's suspicions.
Unfortunately what happens in the other routes, especially in CF, is that Rhea's trauma is never explored, no characters stop to understand her motivation, etc. She's just used as the resident bad guy because she's Edelgard's enemy. Basically, you're seeing it from the point of view that Rhea is bad because you see it from Edelgard's perspective... but it fails to work because the game, in particular the localization, amps Edelgard up as a huge progressive hero. AM is the only route that really confronts her about her "views", and even then, it's a mess because all the things she argues with Dimitri about aren't her end goal (i.e. they don't ever end up actually happening in the vast capacity she claims she's going to do).
About Edelgard:
The localization avoids any particularly negative comments about her and changes or outright removes them (true of Hopes as well). In Dimitri's case it would make sense because of their connection, but when it ends up just being another route in the pile of feeling sorry for Edelgard (and... not Rhea, who had her family massacred and their bones turned into weapons), it just feels stale.
They basically tell you Edelgard is very cute and easily embarrassed, and she's just this headstrong progressive woman fighting For The People (tee em). The truth is (as per the game itself, i.e. content they can't change/localized because it's the contents of the game itself) that she's invading innocent lands, conscripting her own citizens, turning her citizens into demonic beasts to add to her military strength (lelz when u can't even rely on ur nation's own military strength without demonic beasts), and victim blaming anyone who fights back (if you have yet to see the extremely infamous "no u" line from Edegard to Dimitri in CF, you've been blessed) among other things.
They basically shove it down your throat, characters and narrative both (in the loc in particular), that Edelgard is good and just, while the story itself is looking at all that like ???. The JP script still tries to take good care of her and her image, but they're a lot more blunt about her/her goals (i.e. they don't dance around them nearly as much).
The localization showers what she does with love and attention, and even when they have to say she's the problem/aggressor, they still pretty it up as much as possible (such as Dimitri wondering if maybe her vision of society could possibly be just and righteous, instead of outright admitting what she's done is absolutely atrocious when it's way worse than anything he ever did, all of which he admits to doing and takes responsibility for).
The JP version is more clear on her being the villain. There's definitely bias toward her (as the writers were, confirmed by an interview), but it doesn't slap you in the face with it nearly as badly. Also, Dimitri has won a character popularity poll every year since the game's inception in Japan. In the west, Edelgard is much more popular than she is in the east. That, of course, is because of the way the loc pushed the writing for her/about her.
Edelgard's "progressive" stuff is supposed to be just propaganda (which is ultimately, even as per the western endings because there's only so much they can change). The way the loc frames it is that it's actually what she's aiming for. It's what she uses to inspire people to fight for her though, not what she's actually doing.
About Rhea:
This one's the real doozy because it's a victim of the above. Since they wanted to pretty up Edelgard's dialogue and make her A Hero (tee em), they needed whoever her main enemy was to be the "villain". Since Edelgard, now popular because of the tweaks in her dialogue, hated and wanted to kill Rhea, so too did her raging fans who gave no fucks whatsoever about any character who opposed her... even if it was just to save their own life!
They changed the tone of Rhea's voice in the loc to make her more angry and villainous sounding, rather than sad or kind. She was basically altered in the loc to make Edelgard look better. Like, of course, in the perspective of playing a villain in CF, she's the bad guy and the enemy. The problem comes when they have Rhea say things that are more aggressive than in the original script, and change her tone to sound demeaning and vicious (when she was otherwise not or not as much).
But like, why? The only reason any of us can think of is because they wanted to market Edelgard more. This is likely a result of the west's views and especially political views, since Edelgard's pretty words would sound good to a westerner's political beliefs... until you dig into them/the actual story content more.
Rhea also being the head of a Church probably got tweaked because of the west's recent irl views on religion. Religion in the west has been looked poorly upon in recent years. Instead of accepting this is just a fictional game though, the loc team just... pushed that they're Really Bad.
Rhea is more of a victim of them needing someone to be worse than Edelgard to make Edelgard look like less of a villain (which again, this isn't the case in the original script nearly as much), and they couldn't use Thales/the Agarthans because you were allied with them in that route.
The other characters vs Rhea as a villain choice:
The goal wasn't to make a playable lord a villain in the loc's case. It was the intention of the original script with Edelgard, but the loc tried to make her actions sound more justified because ??? like idk, I can't wrap my head around them justifying what she does.
Dimitri isn't handled too badly by the narrative itself and he's overall seen as a good person (even the loc didn't alter that or Edelgard's ablest mentality toward a mentally unwell person), so he wasn't really a good candidate for all that. Also, Dimitri's story is one of recovery, and because they ventured into mental illness, he wasn't a good candidate. He was treated well and pretty fairly (Edelgard not treating him particularly well makes sense with her character, but the narrative itself doesn't push him as being a monstrous person. Even in the time he considers that he was, there's depth, logic and complexity to the situation).
Claude being the main bipoc character would have just been an all around disaster if the loc or even original script tried to make him the top villain, yadda yadda (understandably). There was no chance that was going to go over well, especially in the west (have you seen the shitstorm GW caused? And that was with the writing not considering him a villain!!). He was basically safe from the get go as far as villainy if they writers/localizers didn't want serious backlash (there are discussions about the overall treatment of poc characters in Houses/Hopes, but I can guarantee it would've been legit backlash if he was made to be a genuinely and intentionally horrible person, so that wasn't really an option if they wanted this game to actually sell and be enjoyed).
So since Rhea isn't playable and is the head of a Church, that kind of makes her the only candidate. Players will get attached to the other lords and not like killing them, so it won't feel like a badass victory to kill them. I guess for some reason the loc team just... hated Rhea or something?
Dimitri's death in CF is either extremely sad and garners audience sympathy, or in the other version of his death in CF it's clear his mentally stability is starting to break right before he's killed, which in and of itself is another topic. Claude is either free to go by choice of the player or can be killed, and his death is sad and he's not villainized. Aside from how some characters treat Claude's death (in contrast to Dimitri's which is never outright villainized even by Edelgard), the scene meant for the player at the time it happens is supposed to leave a bad taste in your mouth.
So again, it really just leaves the loc team with the option of Rhea if they want to make the final battle seem like a big victory for the player. VW also has its big happy victory, and surprise surprise, Rhea dies in that route (offscreen no less!).
SS kills off Rhea but actually makes it sad, and it's, you know, actually the route that focuses on her/the Church most. AM doesn't kill her off and doesn't treat any character death as a badass victory, and instead gives a bittersweet ending (which again would be in line with Dimitri's connection to Edelgard, and it only feels botched down because of all routes obsessing over her).
So while, technically, the writing in the JP script wasn't trying to make Rhea as bad as the western version of the game, if the loc wanted to go for that, she was the best option. It just... came at the expense of butchering her character to make Edelgard shine, which shouldn't have been done but it was.
#DCB Ask#sorry this got pretty long. my thoughts are kinda. all over the place a lot lol. and I'm bad with expressing my thoughts in few words#this might be a liiittle discoursey for anyone not interested in that stuff#which sadly the loc changes ARE part of what had a hand in the discourse so it's#unfortunately a bit unavoidable when discussing loc changes and whatnot#but also like... what is discourse at this point? ppl seem to think discourse is just#any negative comment ever about the game/loc? like. idk lol#not sure how the truth is discourse but at this point I think it's bc the game has been#such a problem overall in the west that any negativity around it whatsoever is viewed by most as discourse#like I could say I don't like xyz character and here's why and if it's a certain character in particular (of a few)#then it's automatically considered discourse and not just someone's opinion on a game's writing/story?#but really any negative thing ever about Edelgard is considered discourse because like... it's a fucking mess lol#and well we primarily have the loc to thank for that mess so... it's hard to avoid when discussing the loc#anyway here is my resident ASHNARD comment of the week#you can have a villain just like Edelgard - identical even (cough Ashnard) - and if you handle it right#there's no need for discourse bc everyone's on the same page about the character!#but thaaaat's not what happened here bc pretty lady step on me loc/writer mentality. :(
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somebody send me spicy Geto thoughts I want to drabble about him
#idk i need to write something short that isn't gonna take the whole day lol#thinking about him specifically bc I'm hearing his voice in my head in a totally sane way#having thoughts about the assassin Toji widow reader fic i started ages ago too#but that one isn't short it's gonna be a gratuitous amount of fucking lol#might work on it later but i need something short NOW!!!#open to other guys (Toji or Choso) but idk. Geto's in there u know#*shakes my head and Geto rattles around in there*
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hm.
#feeling like. all around bad. and idk why really#i just dont want to do anything. i want to rot. everything is hard.#why does everything feel like a chore!! i love playing minecraft and sewing and drawing and writing but it all feels Bad rn#and on top of that i dont even wanna talk to my partner for some reason. i love them a lot but my brain keeps going 'you should just never#speak to them again. because why the fuck not.' and i dont know why.#(riot if you see this it is not about you)#but. idk. i just wanna have a breakdown but i dont wanna have it alone but also. i dont have anyone irl.#i should text ms v and meet with her probably. she would let me hug her. she would understand.#on top of all the emotional and social bs ive also got my perpetual family issues to deal with and im. so tired.#i want to move away somehow#but even dorms might not be possible because i fucked up my grades as i usually do. great job jet.#idk i just wish i could be mentally well and have friends and parents that weren't shit#sigh#a guy can dream!#delete later
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its my birthday today so lemme tell yall: writing the hermits in the world of control (2019) is SO fucking fun. holy shit i love it. however i will probably not end up posting any of it bc most of it is gratuitous mumbo suffering(expected) and ahti cameos(surprising). also control!zed has asthma and i dont really have an explanation for why
#i fucking love ahti control#wish i knew finnish so i could write him better#so far i have maybeeeee six pages of how different hermits deal with the hiss? its fun#idk. its just for fun so far#something to wind down after finishing salt & honey after A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR AND A HALF#i need something to mess around w to a bit with no pressure#however. u do need to also understand i spent a half an hour researching year-appropriate mres so.#i think my brain's just broken#if anybody wants to know more i mean ill gladly talk about it#and i might post some of it SOMEday#but idk not any time soon#i cant edit anything rn and i cant just toss together a ficlet that fits in a tumblr post and release it into the wild#idk i just dont work like that#anyway whoever reads this far in the tags deserves a prize
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that moment when you pass 12.5k before you've really even hit your second planned plot point
#help me#look i don't get 'can't shut the fuck up' disease very often but boy when i do it is Severe#stewjoni anatomy fic is gonna be Long#currently thinking about breaking it up into five(ish) long sections rather than like proper chapters#but it's looking like if i do either the lengths will vary extremely broadly or they'll all be around 10k#who's to say?#but whatever i'm literally just writing this for fun so we'll see what happens ig#i think i've got one more point to hit and then this section will be done#might go ahead and post as i finish might not idk#we'll see what the vibes are#if mercury is in gatorade or whatever
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imagining a hades game-style hellblazer arc where constantine keeps dragging himself out of hell only to get punted back in immediately. feels thematically appropriate.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#even the pool of blood feels right#idk the way he navigates hell so easily in the books of magic crossover is heartbreaking to me#but also has the potential to be so extremely funny#man knows his way around by now. even if they did finally claim his soul he'd just keep walking out the door#'you don't lock up around the place that's your bloody problem. goodbye'#( gets murdered within five feet of his house ) FUCK#this is actually getting real stuck in my head i might try to write a fic about this
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