#might delete or archive later

[an-excellent-choice]

A random thought but I am what you would consider as a new fan in dragon age. So, for me the common discourse/hate surrounding Cullen in the games is really shallow.

(I am referring to the character not the voice actor, I do not give a shit about that guy and about his bullshit)

I see a lot of hate on cullen and how either he is so fucking bland or evil because he is a equivalent to a cop in dragon age. which while I can see the comparison it just go and shows how people cant really handle an overarching flawed character story arc when they aren't this witty or sassy person.

Cullen is great example of how a traumatic experience can sway you to extremism (you know like Bolin in Korra) He wasn't inherently bad, hell he trained in a very lenient and peaceful circle without any issue or complaints on his side.

(reminder that the Cullen trained in was very chill and balanced if you think about it. Anders stayed in that circle while doing his multiple escape attempts and they never made him tranquil. Other examples include all the kissing allowed in the circle and the fact the you can save the circle in DAO if you save the first enchanter)

Then everything went to shit in that relaxed circle.

Cullen was tortured and was forced to watch everyone around him get killed by the very things that he was warned what mages was.

If you think about it he probably blamed majority of what happened to leniency of the circle to the mages which is why it isnt a surprise that he would be supportive of strictness of the circle in kirkwall.

A lot of people hate on Cullen because of da2 which i understand but this part of the story is kind of like anders in da2 act 3 or loghain in dao for him.

He is part of his life where he is as closest to monster he could be but you know why he isn't the worst is because he has a line that he didnt cross which was killing allies/ civilians. He later also acknowledges in DAI the pain and atrocities he caused in DA2.

He is aware of his biases and is trying to redeem himself by helping in the inquisition as an independent faction. He left the templars.

He hates how the templars has treated him and his faith to be weapons of abuse. While he was a perpetrator of the abuses of the templars, people forget he is also a victim.

Templars are required to intake lyrium to be part of the order. This system literally uses these drugs to make them addicts and gain control on them. I dont know about you but that shit isnt really comparable to being cops.

He is literally a recovering drug addict in DAI and the reason why he is doing this is to show that templars can do it. They can leave the order.

Extra: I love cullen because he is so complicated and he is trying his best. Does this mean I want to see him in DATV? Fuck no. If him being brought back into story requires for the voice actor to be hired for it. no fucking thanks. His story is done and I'm happy with that

P.S also extra note about people saying he is creepy because he had a crush on the warden in DAO while he was a templar is a stupid point.

I dont care if the author originally wanted it to seem creepy, they completely failed on that mood and they forgot characters can also write themselves a story if you are not careful.

Cullen was incredibly shy and knew how inappropriate his crush was. He literally ran away from any flirting attempts. It is not bad to have a crush with someone you shouldn't have on, AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THE BOUNDARIES AND DONT LET ANYONE CROSS THOSE BOUNDARIES. which he didn't.

[wittyhoid]

maybe he’s born with it maybe it’s maybelline

[fragile-x-portrayal]

I’m gonna be so sad when I finish tma :(

It’s my comfort podcast.

[mewguca]

sometimes i feel compelled to delete this account

[eggmacguffin]

a non-exhaustive list of my favorite posted lines from my current fic

CHAPTER 1:

Right now, it felt like that raw edge from his first few months was back somehow, but instead of making him sharp, it just left him susceptible to further fraying.

&

“I don’t know where the blood is coming from,” he mumbled, slurring a little, because if Chimney was treating him, he needed to know Buck was hurt, “I don’t know where I’m bleeding.”

Chimney’s lips moved, but Buck, but Buck couldn’t hear anything over the blood roaring in his ears. Chim must have noticed, because he instead touched Buck’s slick, wet face and showed him the black staining his fingertips. Not blood. Oil.

Chimney was trying to talk to him again, and Buck struggled to interpret movement without sound. When just watching didn’t work, he followed along with the motion, forming the shapes with his own mouth, and only then could he understand.

You’re safe, Chimney was telling him, over and over again, You’re safe.

&

Adrenaline that had only just begun to fade surged back up with a vengeance, throwing him into that wild animal kind of panic from his probie days, from his days on the road, from when he was a teenager. The kind of panic that left him feeling unsteady and dangerous and vulnerable, like any minute someone was going to try to drag him out of here by the scruff of his neck.

&

"When I fought to get this back, and succeeded,” Buck gestured to his healthy legs first, but in his agitated state, his hands jerked as he spoke and spread to indicate the rest of him, too. The whole station. The whole world, “you called it a, a miracle. But it wasn’t a miracle. It was months, it was my surgeons and my physical therapists, it was me killing myself to get back what I lost. What was taken from me.”

CHAPTER 2:

The panic, the terror, the fury that had gripped him cracked apart, thawing instead into a tender, aching sort of shame.

&

"Woah there handsome, at least buy me dinner first,” Buck croaked, because if he couldn’t stop a situation from spiraling wildly out of his control he could at least make it worse for everyone else.

&

Eddie was staring down at him, terror and relief and determination warring on his beautiful face. It was like all the looking at Buck he hadn’t done in the past several weeks was suddenly concentrated into this single stare.

&

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Chimney croaked, horrified, until a smirk started to twitch on Eddie’s lips, giving the game away. “Oh, fuck you. You guys are assholes.” Chimney kicked the side of Buck’s boot fondly. “You don’t have a monopoly on suffering, you know. I once had a proposal go so badly I almost died.”

&

Eddie went utterly still for a moment, and Buck had half a second to fear he’d overstepped before Eddie shook off his surprise and blinded him with a wobbly grin. It was one of those rare, toothy ones that made Buck feel a little bit like crying if he looked at it too long. Eddie’s tone was light and warm as he murmured, “You’re impossible, you know that?” Except he said it less like it was a hassle and more like it was a miracle.

&

As a teenager, his first taste of freedom had thrummed like wonder in his veins. He’d laid out in fields just like this one on clear nights and the universe had felt alive with endless possibility. Those stars had felt close enough to touch. Like if he’d started up his sister’s car right then and just kept on driving, he could reach them.

&

Running had never been his vice of choice, but maybe he'd just never fully appreciated having two working legs before.

The rest, w/ CH 3 COMING SOON

[pebblume]

I never realized how liberating writing fanfiction would be. I hadn’t written creatively in years. It’s been so long that I kind of forgot what it felt like. The childlike rush of pouring your heart out onto a blank page, not caring about the results as long as you were having fun. I’ve tried writing fanfic a couple of times, for different fandoms across the years, but never finished anything I was really happy with, nothing that I felt comfortable sharing with the world. But something just clicked for me this past week. I realized how much fun it was to stretch out my writing muscles, to get inside the heads of my favorite characters. I realized that it didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of being shared and loved by others. I realized that I had so many stories inside myself - more than I thought possible. 

But perhaps what I’m most in awe of is fanfic readers. The people who read my work and leave kudos and bookmarks and comments - one word comments, sweet comments, silly comments, paragraph-long comments. I love them all. I used to be afraid of leaving comments on AO3, afraid I wouldn’t have enough words, wouldn’t have the right words, to depict how I felt. But when I felt firsthand how much those comments meant to me I started leaving more and more of them, spreading a digital paper trail of love to all my favorite authors. More and more often I recognize the profile names and images in my comment section and think, Hey, I know you! Now I’m not just a guest on AO3, or a passive reader. I belong here. 

I won’t lie and say I don’t miss drawing a bit, my previous creative outlet. There are plenty of drawings inside me too, itching to be realized. I really just don’t have the time for two time extensive hobbies, not when I need to balance school and practicing and little things like sleeping and eating and relaxing. I miss it, but not as much as I thought I would. There’s a level of investment to sharing a story online that feels…special. When I post my art, I get engagement, and it feels nice, but ultimately, most people are only spending about ten seconds looking at the work I spent eight hours on, if that. When someone reads my fics, we’ve now spent time together. You’ve lived inside my head for a bit, made it your home. It’s about feeling seen, I think. Writing makes me feel understood in a way visual art sometimes doesn’t. It makes me feel vulnerable in the same way performing music does, but less exposed too. It’s interesting to me. 

The only downside, if you can call it that, is now that the writing bug has infected me, I’m finding it harder and harder to stop. I’ll have an idea and then suddenly five hours have flown by because I’m on a creative streak and I just want to write one more idea down, which turns into two, and so on and so forth. I dread stopping, because what if I forget something? What if I get into a writing block later? Suddenly I have people who want to read the things I write and I want to provide it, I really do, but I also have responsibilities. I say, as I write this, ignoring my audition tomorrow afternoon. 

I still have a bit of embarrassment attached to fandom works. When I tell acquaintances that I like to draw or write, I rarely tell them I mean fanart and fanfiction. As if loving something that deeply, that sincerely, is inherently shameful in this age of irony and soulless remakes. Especially when my interests usually consist of media marketed towards children, nevermind the fact that it has more emotional maturity than most ‘adult’ works. But I’m trying to get better about it. A lot of my closest friends know about my hobbies, and some I’ve even let see my work. It’s terrifying but also giddying, seeing them like an art post or comment on a fic. After all, to reap the rewards of being loved, one must submit themselves to the mortifying ordeal of being known, or something like that. 

I realized today that I’ve written over 30,000 words in the past two weeks about about two characters who don’t belong to me, but whom I’ve made my own.

And I’ve never felt happier

[bakubakunyanyaa]

sorry for posting shitty doodles i dont have anything else in me rn

[shroomerr]

erm hi ehe uh have a dump of all of my doodles over these past few weeks of my sp oc ft some of the other characters (im drowning in assignments you guys someone lend a hand oh god I’m drowningbllsdhdsbja)

[eeriedragone]

As someone who spedran all 5 seasons of The Magnus Archives in less than a month, the true horror is having to now WAIT for new episodes.

Send help.

[the-triangle-witch]

Sorry I’m not too caught up on everything but: a while back Ford was messed up with some kind of fae magic or something? Did you ever help him out? This was back in like October I think. Sorry I’m very behind!!!

((ooc: i think that was part of an rp with @grunklefordpines and @stanfordssiren I only did a small interaction because it was part of a larger rp those two where doing. here is a link to my post you were talking about but I think you'll need to look through their blogs to see what happened xD))

[magnus-brain-rot]

Fic idea for tma

What if Gertrude had an official (and alive) assistant when she died? Possibly an avatar who doesn’t want the world to end.

Here’s what I’m picturing: a fully fledged avatar who has anchors that help them stay humane. Someone who, despite following a fear god, values human life. They butt heads with Gertrude because of her “for the greater good” mentality. However, they are young and good at combating other powers. When Jon takes over, they continue to do field work and they don’t trust him, thinking he will be another Gertrude.

Additional notes:

- When they find out the rituals wouldn’t have work anyways, they are ticked and stay away from the Institute for a while.

- They were keeping track of the dark ritual in case Gertrude’s theory was wrong.

- I’m thinking an avatar of the dark who became one at a young age

-They have a cheery demeanor but can switch it off when it gets serious (similar to Tim but with less anger issues)

-Friends with Gerry (LET GERRY LIVE)

As I’m finishing this I’m realizing this is more of an OC idea than a fic idea. Honestly, it could possibly work with either a crossover character or a character from tma, but we don’t meet a lot of avatars who value human lives. The closest we get are some hunt avatars.

[shadow-the-crow]

it's currently 3 am and i'm so tired that i'm convinced my laptop has been taken over by the Spiral.

I'm obsessively scrolling through tumblr. A few minutes ago, there was a post i really wanted to like. I thought i had liked it. It was not in my likes. I scrolled back up to find it again. It's gone. I swear it's gone. My laptop or tumblr keeps glitching. It's making me scroll past every fanart 2 or 3 times.

[russellius]

george and the gang partying to abba | via nathan's story

WARNING : george singing ☢️

[tou-dai]

i'm positive at this point no one is going to care enough to read this.

or even if they do, they'll probably get the wrong idea. like everyone else does.

i'm a good person. i mean i practice being a good person. it means i also wasn't such a good person. but i know, from comparison, that i'm not as bad as other people.

what is wrong with saying such a thing? nothing. there should be nothing wrong with me saying this.

the same should go for how strong, or smart, or attractive i am.

but people have a fucked up relationship with confidence, among other things.

even if i say this, my sense of self esteem is pretty mid. as in, i don't think i'm god's gift to anyone.

in fact, if experience is anything to go by, i'm just a regular piece of shit.

like many people.

is it wrong for me to say that? more or less acceptable?

..

most of my early life i was convinced i was not attractive at all.

i am still not convinced i am attractive sometimes, because of experience. but also: no matter how good you are, you'll likely struggle with doubt and despair

..

i've experienced a lot of weird shit since i was young. paranormal things and mundane things.

the weirdest mundane experience i still have to this day is the distinct impression i am not human.

why?

because i've seen the variety of humans. i know how bad they can be. i know how good they can be.

i would say i'm better than average. is this wrong?? even if average isn't saying much?

but that's not what makes me inhuman. there are plenty of monstrous people.

it's the looking at it. it's the not mincing words about it. it's the destroying my self over and over ruthlessly about it.

...

am i really the worse sort of person for thinking such things?

i have always accepted that there are people who are better than me.

i've had to accept that. because those are just the facts of the matter, aren't they?

if someone is healthier, more attractive, kinder, smarter etc than me?

they are better. period.

...

we live in a sick world that often cultivates fucked up circumstances and even more fucked up people

we all know this

in america, we have two of the most fucked up people imaginable leading the government

...

there are plenty of people who are better than me out here, doing what they can

...

i'm sorry that i'm spent. really.

i'm sorry that i'm so fucked up -- physically and mentally -- that i can't do much more than complain and suffer.

.. when i used to at least be useful. when i used to at least be able to work.

when i used to at least be able to keep up a mask or a facade...

but it's always been obvious. to me and everyone around me.

i'm not human. i don't belong here. even if i'm useful.. i'm just.

not wanted. really.

that is what experience tells me.

...

and you know? i have grown a lot as a person. i fixed and/or worked on a lot of my character flaws.

but now? i am tired. i am tired of trying

and trying

and trying

...

what is there to live for in this world except the things i personally need/want?

i had ideals and purpose

but they are not suited for .. or they are not wanted, in any case.

..

i don't know what i'm going to do.

i don't know how i'm going to survive.

i think i'm still worthy of and deserving of a health, safety, and freedom

but how will i get it? being as i am? being perceived as i am?

i don't think i have it in me to change more

or at least not for the better.

maybe

venmo: @torchport

cashapp: $onepeaceman

[jestersroute66]

The Moving Picture Co. 1914 (2015) by Mark Kirkland

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I find Jonny's answer to people who don't see Jon and Martin as a couple fascinating because I'm mostly sure it was more about people who see it a QPR or the importance of platonic relationshps witch cool.

But his vague "death of the authors there was a intent but you can interpret cannon as you want" type of answer is normally the standart queerbaiting answer from writers we grew to expect. The classic: "I didn't write them to be gay but if it makes sense to you i guess feel free too see them as" where they keep giving subtext but also saying in cannon that the chracthers are 100% straight while patting their backs and going "great rep guys we made the gays happy, our show with zero queer people except maybe the villain whose queer traits are show as inerently evil is very lgbtqia+ friendly" except Jon and Martin are very much written to be a couple in the text. Jon calls Martin his boyfriend, Martin talks about their relationship to Melanie, they kiss, they say I love you to each other, they are a couple. Not only that but TMA is a very queer show.

That's too say that by complete formal accident Jonny's answer sounds like he is patting himself on the back and going "great rep guys we made the straights happy, our show with a bunch of canonically queer and queer coded characthers most that are undeniably heros or at least doing their best and literally protagonists and where straight people aren't the default for once is 100% hetero friendly."