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xtoothless · 3 years ago

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One Match

This is my first TommyInnit / Reader one-shot. Second POV and you play Cake-Wars with Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur.

Pairing: You/Tommy

Word Count: 3,707

Summary: You play some Cake-Wars with a couple of your comfort streamers :)

Ao3 Link

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[TommyInnit is Live]

You clicked on the notification from Twitch so fast you thought you broke your mouse. It was 4 pm in your hometown of Elkhart (1), Wisconsin. School had ended a few weeks before for the kids, including for you; your Junior year. You were to be a Senior next year, your last year of high school. Most everyone was outside enjoying the weather of mid-June, the warm sun lighting the fields where kids played and adults watched or played along. It seemed like everyone was outside enjoying the sun. Except you.

You were in your room, watching a live video from one of your comfort streamers; TommyInnit. The 17-year-old British blonde from the UK. Like most, you never had any bad days when you watched his streams. Whenever you did have a bad day, it seemed like one of your comfort streamers knew and hit that "Go live" button.

Tommy was playing Minecraft with a couple of his friends - a couple of your comfort streamers - WilburSoot and Tubbo. They had just started a new survival world, to see who could speed run the quickest.

The chat on the side of the screen exploded with their answers. A lot said Tommy, others said Tubbo, and a fair amount said, Wilbur. You thought they were all very good at the game but considered it was down to either Wilbur or Tommy. Wilbur was the calmest about it, being quick but also taking his time. Tommy was a ball of chaotic fury; trying to be quick but stressing about beating the game.

"Wha- How the fok does Will already have diamonds?" Tommy screamed, trying to get his character to mine the iron in front of him. You smiled at the screen as he joined Wilbur's voice channel to yell at him.

"Well, Tommy. You just- you just gotta get good at the game." Wilbur's voice said through Discord.

Tommy leaned back, his mic quieting the sound of him groaning in annoyance, "Ughh, fok off, you little- you know what?". He left Wilbur's voice channel and went to Tubbo's.

"Tommy?" Tubbo's small voice echoed through the channel.

"I say we team up against Will." Tommy started, making his character jump out of the cave and mine more spruce wood from the mountain he was on, "Look- he's already got diamonds m'kay, let's work together."

It took a second to hear Tubbo's reply. "...okay?"

"Great. Do you have any iron?"

As they all continued to play, you left to use the bathroom and grab snacks. On your way down the stairs, you rubbed the warm back of your black and white kitten (2) that was sitting on the windowsill. Once out of the bathroom, you check the kitchen cupboards for any snacks.

You found a bag full of fruit candies, caramel suckers, and some off-brand chocolate bars. They were technically your fathers, but he wouldn't notice if some were gone. You grabbed a handful of each and a can of Coca-Cola that was in the fridge. You then ran back, your kitten following up the stairs.

Once you were seated, you continued to watch the stream with your kitten purring in your lap. Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo were all trying to fight blazes in the Nether. Tommy already had 4 blaze rods, while Tubbo had 1.

"Tubbo, kill that blaze-" he then screamed in fright as his character caught on fire, "Foook! There's one behind. Dammit Tubbo." he then laughed as Tubbo also screamed in fright.

You laughed as you turned to your second monitor and loaded up Minecraft. Your computer loaded it up fairly quickly, given that you were also watching the stream that took a ton of internet to watch. Given that, you decide to play CakeWars. As you joined the round, you looked at the stream as all three made it to the end.

They all teamed up and were trying to fight the endermen and the ender dragon. Your attention was on your own game that you didn’t realize they had killed the ender dragon and were now declaring victory. Tommy took all the credit as Wilbur laughed. Tubbo giggled and then hit Tommy’s in-game character with his own.

With that, they decided to play servers. More specifically, the same server you were going to play CakeWars in next. You failed to notice when your screen flashed with the red lettering, “Your cake has been eaten.”

"Dammit!"

Your teammates tried their hardest to stay alive, but unfortunately, the Yellow team was stronger with their armor and weapons. As you tried to run away, one threw an ender pearl and teleported in front of you.

Using your iron sword, you tried to defend yourself, but their diamond enchanted sword dealt more damage to your leather and iron armor; you died after a couple of hits. You groaned in frustration as you quickly hit "new game". Your kitten got up and sat by your monitor, staring at the loading screen before you pushed him toward his bed.

"Hopefully my teammates are better next round."

You joined a new game, too focused on that to see that you were on the same server as Tommy, Wilbur, and Tubbo. The game started saying that you were part of the blue team. You looked over at your teammates and read their names. It took you a second until you recognized Tommy's skin and the name "TommyInnit" over his head. "Oh, my god." You looked at your other monitor and saw that Tommy was looking at your character (3).

"Hello, [Your Username]." His character punched toward you and crouched a couple of times.

"Hi!" Tubbo's character punched toward you too.

You crouched back, punching at all three. Wilbur nodded up and down, crouching all the same. You typed into the in-game chat and typed only to your team. "I'm honestly kinda freaking out right now, ngl."

Tommy read it out loud before laughing, "Oh, there's nothing to be afraid of. I see you're a woman- you all know how much I love women."

You heard Wilbur sigh and Tubbo laughed from the stream as you replied with, "Yes, Tommy, we know how much you love women XD."

He read it out loud and laughed, "I like this one. Hey, [Your Username], do you have a discord?"

Your hands began to shake and get clammy as you read it over a couple of times. As you collected your bricks to upgrade, you typed, "We win and I'll give it to you."

Tommy ran over to the villager selling things for bricks as he read it, "Okay, guys, we need to win. If we do, I'll talk to a girl!"

That made you laugh, as you covered your cake with endstone and blue wool. The chat on the side of the screen exploded with "Women POG", "TommyInnit talks to a woman???", and - your personal favorite - "Tommy simps over a probably 6-year-old". You laugh out loud as a dono pops up, talking in a robotic voice.

"Tommy, that could possibly be a young girl. Maybe you shouldn't hit on her?"

Tommy stumbled over his words as Wilbur and Tubbo laughed and agreed. To save him, you type, "Don't worry chat, I'm 17, thanks for looking out for me though X'D".

As the game progressed, your team had two emerald points, endstone, obsidian, and blue wool covering your cake, and all members decked in diamond armor and a diamond sword. The other three teams were fighting each other as your team collected and planned your attack. Tommy and Wilbur were going to attack the middle point while you and Tubbo guarded your cake.

They set off as you and Tubbo collected the bricks and emeralds beside your cake. The two of you just crouched and punched at one another until they came back. Tubbo continued to laugh on stream and Tommy questioned what was going on.

"Me and [Your Username] are just crouching at one another," Tubbo responded, laughing as you jumped and punched at him.

As you leaned back and closed your eyes laughing, you heard footsteps in your headset and quickly grabbed your mouse. A red member in full leather and an iron sword was running toward your cake. You appeared in front of him as Tubbo finally realized and screamed quietly. In a couple of hits, he died, barely taking away three of your hearts.

"Tubbo? Tubbo, what happened?" Tommy asked, panic in his voice.

"There was a red team member attacking our cake. But [Your Username] attacked 'em." Tubbo explained as they got back to their island.

Wilbur came up and jumped in your face, punching at you, "Good job, [Your Username]"

"Thanks." You typed, then another message, "I have a feeling we're gonna win this, but I don't wanna jinx."

You heard Wilbur laugh, "Don't worry. Let's just let the other teams fight and then join later."

"Yeah, we can sweep up what's left of them!" Tubbo agreed.

You nodded in-game, collecting the nether stars below you. As soon as you reached 10, you upgraded your resources. You also wanted to get protection but then the green team had taken the middle point.

"Here you go [Your Username]" You heard Tubbo say through the stream. You crouch in response as a cluster of nether stars were thrown at you.

Soon after, Wilbur and Tommy did as well. "Let's be honest, [Your Username] is more responsible - other than me, of course," Tommy said.

"Then why don't you take them?" You typed into game chat, challenging the blonde.

The other two laughed as Tommy stood in front of you crouching, "Okay, fine. Given 'em back bitch."

"Because you called me a b****, I'mma keep them." You said, walking over to your ender chest and putting them inside. You looked at Tommy and crouched once before covering your cake with more wool.

"Way to go, Tommy, you made her mad," Wilbur said, crouching, having his back to you.

You laughed once more, falling back into your seat before typing, "I'm not mad, just playing." You retrieved all 12 of the nether stars and upgraded your protection twice.

As you turned around, you saw a green member - decked in diamond armor - bridging toward your island. You race to the edge and crouch, punching in their direction. They looked up and punched at you, as three more green members also in diamond armor appeared behind him.

Tubbo alerted the other two and they all crouched at the edge, sword in hand. You clicked on your bow and shot an arrow at the first player. The ringing of a hit echoed through your headset as one got hit back.

The one you hit looked back up before his teammates switched to ender pearls. You back up, guarding your cake as you watch the green eye fly through the air.

You ignored the screams of the others on stream as you focused on one green member. They turned as you hit them a couple of times in the back. As they took off around your island, you ate a golden apple and chased after them, cutting them off and landing another blow.

They turned and tried to hit you, but didn't realize how close they were to the edge and fell. You turned your head to see your teammates fighting off the rest of them. Tubbo was losing a fight by a player who was continuously eating apples. You ran over to him and hit him. Distracted, he tried to fight you but Tubbo's blade had killed him.

"Thanks [Your Username]!" You heard Tubbo say as Tommy stopped screaming. The rest of green had fled or died. Wilbur had said nothing during that all while Tommy's mouth never seemed to shut. But you've been watching Tommy for so long, it didn't bother you; if anything, it made you laugh as you fought.

Wilbur's voice echoed through the stream, "Everyone good?"

Tubbo and Tommy said "Yes", while you nodded in-game. Your cake was never harmed, so you didn't need to rebuild. All your teammates were fine, other than Tubbo was missing more than half of his hearts.

You all collected emeralds that were still popping out from the ground. Everyone was stocking up on ender pearls and golden apples, roughly a stack of blue wool and arrows. As you closed out of the menu, you heard the sound of breaking blocks as the game said, "Everyone's cake has been eaten."

Tommy gathered you all around and said some "inspiring" words, "It's just 3 Red, 2 Green, 2 Yellow, and us left. We are the largest, therefore, we should be able to win this. Besides, we are probably the best PVP-ers in the whole match."

"Don't get too cocky, Tommy." You typed to them, crouching and uncrouching once.

Tommy laughed and then shrugged on camera, "Well, he's always cocky." Wilbur’s response came through.

"Hey, you fooking- never mind. Let's attack yellow, they're closest." Tommy said, before turning back to you and Tubbo.

You nod as he led the three of you down the one-block road and to the middle point. One yellow member in iron armor was trying to capture the point from red but panicked when they saw you coming. You ender pearled in front of them and started your attack. They got distracted with you that they couldn't fight off Wilbur from behind.

"Let's goooo!" Wilbur yelled, running down the three-block path to Yellow's island. The last person panicked when they saw the charging diamond armor and tried to ender pearl away. But the ender pearl hit the side of an island and they fell to their death.

"Now I feel bad." You quickly typed into game chat.

"Nah, there's nothing to feel bad about, it happens," Tommy responded to your message. "Now, let's attack Green."

The four of you charged forward as Red and Green were fighting. Tubbo yelled out and you all stopped. "Let's wait to see how this plays out." He said as you agreed.

For the next few minutes, you watched as the red team shot at Green as they tried to bridge across. You kept looking around, always cautious if another player tried to scare you.

A green player got knocked off their bridge and the other was attacked by a red who threw an ender pearl. "Okay, [Your Username], shoot at them to get their attention. You guys ready?"

Once everyone said they were, you looked down and started building up while crouching. As soon as you got about 8 blocks high, you selected your bow and aimed at the nearest red. You heard the ringing of the bell as the arrow hit them. They all turned to look at you as you started to dig down. An arrow whizzed past your ear as another hit you, making your character fall 6 blocks.

Your teammates all stood in front of you as the red team came charging. Eating one of your many golden apples, you started to regain health.

Wilbur fought one Red member with an enchanted diamond sword and enchanted diamond armor. Tommy attacked one member in full enchanted diamond armor and sword, who was building up, which reminded you of Fortnite building. Tubbo and you attacked the last one you was full enchanted diamond armor and sword. Your team had protection 2, but no sharpness on your swords.

All the sounds around you were swords swinging, characters jumping back from being hit, and Tommy's screaming coming from the stream. You hit the Red member repeatedly, while Tubbo stood back to heal.

You were down to about 6 hearts, your armor protecting most of your body. Trying to get away quickly, you started to build up; you were dangerously close to the edge. Making sure your character was okay, you started to shoot arrows from above.

However, you didn't see the Red member who was fighting Tommy ender pearl up and shoot an arrow at you. "[Your Username]! Look out!" Tommy yelled as you were hit.

Your character fell off the pillar and down toward the abyss. Having only a second to react, you quickly hit your ender pearls and threw one at the pillar. It connected and you teleported. You quickly placed a block underneath you, surviving with 3 hearts.

"Ohhh! Oh my god!" You screamed as you ate two golden apples. "Holy shit!"

As you hit 8 hearts, you joined the battle. Tommy was on 2 hearts and was being chased. You ender pearled behind him and attacked the Red member. Tommy must have had gotten him low because you hit him with two swings and he was dead. Tommy stopped running and saw you. "You're alive??" He seemed shocked.

You crouched a couple of times, nodding. "You gotta tell me how later."

You nod once and turn to help your friends. As you returned with Tommy behind you, you saw that Wilbur was fighting one off and the other had just knocked Tubbo off the edge. You heard him scream as he fell.

The red member saw you and quickly ate a golden apple as you charged him. You managed to hit him a couple of times in a row and his character got punched off the edge. At the same time, Wilbur had just killed the last Red member.

You heard the "Let's goooo!" from the stream and jumped up and down.

You quickly pulled up discord and got your information before pulling up Instagram on your phone. You found Tommy and opened a chat, sending him your discord. All you had to do was wait for him to open it.

You also added next to the link, "Wait till after stream."

As a new game was 20 seconds from starting, you realized that Tommy was talking to you. He wanted you to join another game with them. Of course, you agreed and you all selected the green team.

A couple of hours went past and it was getting later and later. The sky outside darkened and you heard your parents coming home from work. You were an only child, so no siblings were trashing the house with their stuff.

Your kitten kept sitting in front of your screen, watching the particles in-game. You accidentally let the yellow team eat your cake and then died trying to defend it. Wilbur has just died as Tommy and Tubbo ran for their lives.

But unfortunately, they had to succumb to defeat and Tommy had to end the stream. As he said his goodbyes to chat, you closed out of the stream and stared at your phone. You waited for it to go off, but it didn't. Not until then minutes after.

When it eventually did, you were on your PC playing Overwatch. The match had just ended, so you checked. It was a discord text from TommyInnit.

You calmed your inner panic before opening your phone. You accepted his buddy request with no hesitation. Another message went off and it had one single word. "Call?"

At that very moment, you heard your mother shout out to you. You turned back to your phone before responding with, "Yeah, sure, just give me a minute."

Your mother wanted you to eat dinner; which was macaroni and cheese with chicken nuggets (4). You took a plate to your room and set it down on your desk, watching your cat. He seemed to ignore you but you knew he was waiting for a moment when you're not looking.

You opened your phone and typed in your chat that you were back. Almost a second after you sent it, you were getting a call from Tommy. You accepted the call and said, "Hello?"

"Okay, well, hi- sorry, I really want to ask. How the fuck did you pull off that bow and arrow kill earlier?" You heard his voice on the other end. He seemed nervous but also knew exactly what he wanted to say.

You laughed, "Well, I've always been good at archery. On video games, of course, not so much in real life."

"Hm, archery. That should be my next vlog- but anyway! How did you survive that first round? I saw you fall. Was it lag?"

"Nope, I had ender pearls. I just used one quickly. To be honest, I was as surprised as you were. I was not expecting it to work." You responded as you picked up your cat who was trying to sneak over to your food.

As the two of you talked, a smile never left your face. You two laughed like you were old friends greeting each other for the first time in years. You kept battling your kitten, which entertained Tommy. You talked until it was 9 pm in America. You previously found out from school that it was a 5-hour difference between the US and Great Britain.

"Wait, wait, wait, Tommy? Isn't it like 2 in the morning for you right now?" You asked after he hummed.

"Uhh, no- wait, yeah, yep, yep, it is. That explains why I'm so tired-" he started laughing which in turn, made you laugh.

"Ugghh, I should probably go to bed." He yawned midway through his sentence.

You nodded, although he couldn't see you, "Yeah, you yawning is making me tired."

"Oh, I'm sorry, well, it was nice meeting you [Your Name], and um, maybe we can play sometime soon." You heard him say.

"Yeah, it would be fun.” You said, “I would love to play some more sometime. I’m sure you can find time in that “Busy schedule” of yours.”

You heard Tommy laugh from the other end, “Well, I mean, I’m not that busy. But we’ll see. Don’t tell anyone, but more vlogs are coming soon, so, I’m pretty busy this week.”

“Alright, I won’t keep you up too late. Goodbye Tommy, it was nice meeting you.” You said.

“Yep, you too. Goodnight!-” he ended the call as he dragged out the last of his sentence. You leaned back in your chair and looked at the ceiling, a smile on your face. That day was one of your best days.

You were definitely looking forward to the next match you would play with TommyInnit.

#mcyt #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #tubbo #fanfiction #minecraft #minecraft streamers #ao3 link

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years ago

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If you were a witch, which animal would be your familiar? I don’t what a familiar is or anything about witchcraft.

If there's a design on your shirt, what is it? I literally just described it in the previous survey I did, but it has Ralphie from A Christmas Story on it with a bar of soap in his mouth and says, “Oh, fudge”, which is a quote from the movie.

If it was possible to colonize any planet and you were the leader, which planet would you choose? I really wouldn’t want to be the leader of anything. I’m not fit for that.

Is there a piece of technology that you just can't live without? I mean, I’m pretty attached to my laptop and phone, but of course if for some reason I couldn’t have them I would survive, but it’d be really quite boring. I don’t have much to do.

Would you ever visit a ghost town? That would be interesting.

What's the last thing you ordered from the last fast food place you went to? Loaded potato wedges and 3 egg rolls from Jack in the Box.

Which natural disaster scares you the most? They all sound terrifying. I’ve never experienced one. What're your religious beliefs and why do you follow them? I’m a Christian. I believe in God and that Jesus died for our sins and is our Savior.

What do you think happens after you die? I believe in heaven and hell.

What would you do if you found out your life was only a simulation controlled by someone else? That’s scary. I’ve had thoughts like that, though. Like a Truman Show scenario or that one day I’ll wake up and find out my whole life has been a dream.

What's the scariest thing you've accidentally found on the internet? Ugh, I HATED when jump scare things would go around. Like, people would disguise as a link for something else and then you click it and it’s some ugly, creepy looking girl screaming really loud. OH, and there was that one with the car that was driving down some winding road and you’re watching and waiting to see what the video is about and then bam! something pops up on the scream and scares you. Ughhh. Not cool. I’m such a jumpy person as it is already.

Is there anything bothering you right now? The usual stuff as always.

Thinking of every Halloween costume you've had, which one was the most creative? I never had a really creative one. They were pretty simple.

What song are you currently listening to and what song was the last you listened to? I’m not listening to music.

What's the picture on your calendar for this month? I don’t have a calendar for this year at the moment.

If you were a mythical creature, which would you be? A fairy.

If you were an animal, which would you be? A dog.

Were you ever bullied when you were younger and how did you handle it? I wasn’t, fortunately. It was something my parents worried about when I was in elementary school because I’m in a wheelchair, but honestly I never had any issues with anyone. The only bullying I receive is from myself on a regular basis.

What do you remember most from being five years old? I have some vague, bits and pieces of memories from kindergarten.

What do you remember most from being ten years old? I have some memories from 4th grade. My favorite teacher ever was my 4th grade teacher (who later ended up teaching 8th grade and I had him again) and I remember funny stuff he did and like how he read out loud to us books such as Matilda and he would the voices and made it fun for us. He also used to sing, and I remember one time he led all of us in a rendition of “I Want It That Way” by The Backstreet Boys lol. He was so cool. Oh, and he was known for doing “the robot” dance and miming.

What do you remember most from being fifteen years old? Stuff from high school.

What does the last person you found attractive look like? Alexander Skarsgard is 6′4, has blonde hair, blue eyes, is very fit and in shape, and Swedish. He’s absolutely gorgeous.

Have you ever thrown something away and then wanted it back? Yes. I hold onto a lot of stuff that will sit in a box somewhere forever, but then if I get rid of something I’ll suddenly wish I still had it or have a need for it again.

What's one random city you want to visit? Seattle.

If you owned a store, what would you most likely sell? Books. It would have a cafe, too.

If you had a garden, what sort of plants would you grow? I don’t know, man. I have zero interest in gardening.

What's your favorite phase of the moon? I don’t have one.

What're your plans for today? I’ll attend my church’s livestream and then do the normal things I do everyday.

What's the song for your life right now? I don’t know.

Do you believe that when you die, you get to see all your loved ones again? Yes.

Who would you be the most excited to see? My grandparents.

Have you lost or almost lost someone close to you to death this year? Not so far... I don’t want to think about that.

Did you lose any of your friends this year and if so, how? I don’t have any friends to lose.

Have you experienced anything new this year and if so, what? Not so far, but we’re only in January.

Do you enjoy reading National Geographic magazines? I’ve only read a few.

Would you rather read the book or watch the movie? I love to read and I’m down to check out the movie.

Do you know anyone who's serving in the military right now? No.

Does or did either of your parents serve in the military? Nope.

Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? No.

Have you ever hugged a stranger you thought was someone else? No. Omg, that would be super embarrassing. I’ve waved to someone I thought was someone else, but never went so far as to hug someone I thought was someone else. As a small child, did you ever feel as if you were different or weird? No, not really.

If you could instantly know any language in the world, what would it be? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish.

This year, how many times have you been to the doctor? So far just once. I go once a month and we’re only in January.

Do you have a library card and if so, do you use it often? Nope. I haven’t had a library card since I was in high school.

Do you like romcoms and if you do, which one is your favorite? Yeah, I’m a sucker for the romcoms. I have several favorites.

Thinking of your ex and the person you love, are they similar in any way at all? I don’t have a significant other or someone I’m interested in at the moment.

Is there something you currently want and/or need that you can’t have? Yes.

Thinking back to six weeks ago, were you happier then or are you happier now and why? Neither then or now.

Who's the first male you can think of whose name begins with "T" and what can you tell me about him? Thomas, my maternal grandpa. He sadly passed away 10 years ago. Both of my maternal grandparents passed away. I was very close with both of them and losing them was very hard for me. I miss them both every single day. My grandpa was an amazing man. He was the best husband, father, and grandpa. He was hardworking. He provided well for his family. He was loving. He was so funny. He told the best stories. He was known for being a talker haha, he could go on and on for hours, but everyone always wanted to hear what he had to say. And sometimes he’d go off on tangents, but the stories always came for circle. He was just an incredible man, well loved and missed by many.

Can you say "happy birthday" in another language? Yeah, “Feliz cumpleaños.”

What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math was always my worst subject, I barely scraped by with Cs.

Should you be concentrating on something else instead of this survey? Nah. This is my nighttime routine.

Have you ever told someone that you loved them and they rejected you? I didn’t tell them I loved them, but I expressed my feelings for them and was rejected. Twice.

Do you know anyone else that's happened to? Yeah.

Is there anything you want to say to someone, but you can’t or won’t? Not at this time. What're your reasons for not saying it? --

Who's someone in the music industry you think is overrated? Taylor Swift. Don’t for me, Swifties.

Who's the eleventh contact in your phone and when did you last see or speak to that person? I’m not checking.

What’s your mother’s middle name? I’m not sharing that.

When was the last time you ate cake and what type of cake was it? I had some red velvet cake a few days ago.

Have you ever been told you were too good or not good enough for someone you loved? I had friends who said I was too good for Joseph. I wasn’t good enough, though.

Why do you think someone would say that to you? They didn’t like how he treated me and thought he was too immature.

If the last person you kissed said you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them? That was 8 years ago, I don’t see him ever saying that now...

Who was your first crush, how do you feel about that person now and do you still talk to them? My first crush was this kid Philip when I was in 3rd grade lol it was just some little crush, I was 9. He didn’t even know me.

Who was the last person that apologized to you and what was it for? I don’t recall.

So how're things going with the person you love? There’s no such person.

Are you "in love" with the last person you kissed? No. I moved on years ago.

Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? I haven’t added a photo for any of my contacts.

Who was the last person to comment on one of your photos on Facebook and how did you meet that person? I think it was my Nana.

How many of your friends are sexually active?

To finish, is there anything you would like to say to someone? Sigh.

Do you think surveys are annoying? They can be sometimes, but I really do enjoy doing them. Clearly.

What career paths are you considering? I don’t know. :/

Do you watch music videos? I haven’t in a long time.

Have you ever clicked on those banner ads that promise a prize for clicking? No. I definitely don’t miss popup ads.

What kind of computer are you using? Macbook Air.

What kind of computer do you wish you were using? I’m happy with this one.

Have you ever had a weight change so drastic you went to the doctor? I didn’t see a doctor for it specifically, but yeah it was concerning. It’s still a problem I’m struggling with.

How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater? In the 60s F, I’d say.

Do you eat things off the floor? Never.

Who do people say you look like? My mom.

Do you usually get your homework done on time? I’m done with school, but yeah I always got my homework done on time. I may have been a major procrastinator, but my work always got done.

Have you ever framed your old movie ticket stubs? Not framed, but kept.

Do you have a digital camera? Nope.

Have you ever stuck something inappropriate in an electrical outlet? No. I’m afraid to plug in things that meant to go in there as it is.

What do you have anything scheduled for the 16th of this or next month? We’re past the 16th now, but no I didn’t have anything going on that day and I don’t have anything planned for that day next month either.

Can you sleep without any pillows? No. I can’t sleep flat, I have to be propped up.

Is there a color you refuse to wear? I don’t like to wear white.

Has anyone ever pulled a gun on you? No, but I am a victim of random gun violence.

Are there any chairs in your bedroom? My chair. There’s an ottoman that could also be a chair as well.

How many pairs of shoes do you have? Like 6 or 7.

How much was the last item of clothing you bought? My total was $40 for 2 shirts, but I ordered online so there’s additional fees.

Where's your father right now? He’s in his room asleep.

Do you skip breakfast often? Yeah.

How many days has it been since your last birthday? My birthday was 6 months ago.

Do you want any more siblings than you have now? Nah, at 31 years old I can’t imagine having another sibling.

Would you make a good president or prime minister? Nope. I have no desire to be one.

Are you going out of the country soon and if so, where to? No. I don’t have any travel plans and who knows when I will at this point. :(

Do you ever feel like you want to get away from everything? Yeppp.

Do you need a haircut? I could use a trim.

When was the last time you went on a trampoline? Never.

Were you alone today? I’m alone right now in my room cause everyone else is asleep, but they’re here in the house. My dad is off today and will be home all day. My mom and brother have work, but they’ll be home at some point.

Who was the last person you saw today? The day isn’t over yet, it’s only 4:51AM, but I’m willing to bet my brother will be the last person I see cause he and I stay up late.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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kinghoranshit · 4 years ago

Text

Just Another Normal Story (HS) - PT 4

I cradled our daughter, Harmony, in my arms. I felt exhausted. It’d been the two days since she came into the world the morning of November sixth.

A conclusion I came to about all of this was, at least it was happening when the weather's getting colder. Zombies couldn’t handle that, right? And we had the fireplace to keep the house heated if the power went out completely. We had no cable or internet though.

“Nichole,” My dad’s firm voice filled my head.

I looked over at him and he was giving me that look.

“Dad.” I shot him a look.

He huffed, rolling his eyes. “We’re running out of food.”

I shook my head. “No, not yet.”

“Come on, Follow me.” My dad tilted his head toward the doorway.

I looked down at sleeping Harmony. I didn’t want to let her go.

“You need to see what he has. I’ll take her,” my mother stated.

Finally, I nodded and handed her over to my mom.

We went down to the basement into his workshop and he handed something to me. The wooden crossbow I used three years in a row for my Halloween costume in high school. I had been a zombie slayer. Ironic, I know.

I didn’t know why he handed this to me. It didn’t work. It was broken last I knew. But as I glanced at it in my hands, it looked brand new.

“You fixed it up? Why?” I asked.

“For you to use,” he remarked. “Become that zombie slayer.”

I laughed. “Dad, it was just a costume and a joke. We both know I’m too scared of zombies.”

“I’m scared of zombies too. But killing them takes it away little by little. Here.” He now handed a bag of metal arrows to me.

“I don’t even know how to use this!” I exclaimed, trying to shove it back into his hands.

“I’ll teach you. It’s not hard. Just a pull of a trigger and putting the arrow in is a piece of cake. One of the quickest reloading weapons.”

I shook my head. “This is fucking nuts.”

“What’re you going to do when you run out of supplies for Harmony? What if I end up dying?”

I kept my mouth shut. I already knew the answer. I felt this certain feeling surging from deep within my chest. The adrenaline kicked in at the thought of stepping foot out of the barricaded house. I hadn’t seen what it looked like in two days. It could be completely different. Or the same. Probably the same.

“Got anything I can practice on?” I asked.

***

I wiped the gleam of sweat off my forehead as I panted. I walked over to take the metal arrow out of the bullseye target that had a botchy sketch of a zombie tacked onto it. My goal was to get in the forehead. And if the arrow didn’t go all the way through, I’d have to get up close and personal.

“Nichole!” Harry called.

“Yeah?” I yelled back, loading another arrow into the crossbow. She worked well. After a couple hours, I’d gotten pretty decent. Not sure I was good enough to go out yet. Well, mentally anyway. This surely would lead to major therapy in the future if we survived and somehow a cure came about. I already couldn’t sleep much, worried they’d break down the barriers and overtake us.

“We’re out of diapers.” His figure appeared at the doorway of the garage. I could hear them outside every once and awhile. I was positive they could smell me through the metal door.

I stared at him a bit blankly. “We can’t be.”

“But we are,” he remarked.

I felt my heart lurch into my throat. It wasn’t like I expected us to just hide away in the house forever. I was hopeful of it, but knew we couldn’t. It wasn’t realistic.

I sighed heavily, grabbing the satchel of arrows, and continued to hold the crossbow in my hands. I walked in past him and into the living room. My mom was on the couch still, holding a giggly Harmony.

“C’mon, Nikki, we’re going to Target,” my dad ordered, reloading his shotgun.

“What? Just us two?” I shot.

He nodded. “Yeah. Harry will stay here with mom and Harmony.”

“No, no, no.” I shook my head. “That’s a bad idea. We should stick together.”

“We can’t take a baby out there,” my mom argued. “It’s too cold.”

The thought from earlier popped back into my head.

“If it’s too cold for her, wouldn’t it be too cold for the zombies?” But I knew as soon as the words left my mouth, it was a no. “Nevermind.”

But then the thought of this thing from ‘Warm Bodies’ came into my head. “Do you think putting zombie guts on us would prevent them from smelling us? That way we can get more when we go to Target. We wouldn’t have to watch out as much.”

“That might work.” My dad nodded. “Harry, mom, and Harmony are still staying here.”

I huffed in annoyance. I just had a bad feeling with them not being in my sight for so long.

***

I pulled the green army jacket on over my blue plaid shirt. That which I wore with a grey tank underneath, denim skinnies, and brown combats. Why not? I never thought I’d actually wear this outfit again, but it seemed like an essential thing to do under the circumstances. My acting as a zombie slayer days were over. I was going to be one.

Harry pressed his lips against mine. “Be careful. I’ve got it here.”

I gave him a weak smile. “Remember, if too many happen to break in, kill the first one you see and put the guts on you. Then mom and Harmony. Mom has a pistol she can use.”

He nodded and kissed me once more. I rested my hand on the back of his neck, holding him there. I wanted to feel his lips for as long as I could. It could be for the last time.

“I love you,” I whispered.

He nuzzled his face into my hair. “I love you too.”

I walked over to my mom and Harmony. I kissed my daughter’s head and looked into her big, very dark blue eyes. “Mommy has to go get you things. See you soon.” I looked at my mom and she had tears brimming her eyes. There was no way she was going to take my place. She didn’t have the agility to sprint or run long distances since her major car accident a few years back; she had to get medical nails in her ankle.

“Stay safe.”

I gave her a small smile. “Of course.”

We left in my dad’s Ford F150 truck. I had my crossbow ready to shoot down any so they wouldn’t get into the garage. Luckily, Harry had the garage shut before any got in. I sat back down and shut my window.

“How much gas?” I asked. My dad never really kept track of that sort of thing.

“Three-fourths.”

I nodded. “Okay. Good. That should be good for a couple trips. But remember, we want to get as much as we can in this one trip.”

“I know,” he replied.

I didn’t say anything else. I looked out the window. It seemed especially gloomy today. The sky was full of grey clouds, casting a white hue over everything. I could see a few moving figures as he drove. It wasn’t a long drive to Target. Only fifteen minutes. But every minute I was preparing myself.

“Here’s the plan.” My dad turned the truck off. “You go ahead and get everything for Harmony. I’ll get the food. Remember to use the crossbow, and test your theory if possible. Got it?”

I let out a deep breath. “Yeah.” I reached back for the two duffels. I strapped one across my chest. This should be fun.

It was dead silent as we walked into the dim lighted Target; must be barely powered by a generator. The glass of the doors had been shattered, so our boots crunched on the pieces. I mentally cursed. Here’s hoping that sound wouldn’t provoke any zombies that could be nearby.

I wish the baby supplies weren’t set in the back part of the entire store. If I do run into a zombie, testing my theory would be the first thing I do. I made sure the walkie-talkie was still harnessed onto one of the loops.

“See you soon,” he whispered, splitting off, and left me alone. Nichole, don’t let your fear take over. You can protect yourself. Doing this for Harmony and Harry.

I went for the smaller stuff first-- onesies, socks, shoes, blankets, pacifiers, baby wipes, toys. I wasn’t entirely positive what she all needs right now. I was just glad we didn’t need to get a crib; my parents had one for when John and Ellise visited. Oh God. I hope they’re okay. And Leo! He was no longer in Iowa as well. I didn’t want to think the worst but I already was considering we hadn’t heard from them at all. The satellite towers went out yesterday. It wouldn’t be long until our power was out I assumed, so we should grab extra batteries and candles.

I zipped the duffel shut to make sure everything was secured. Next, I grabbed my last item, which would be the biggest and wouldn’t fit in the duffel. I held my crossbow up, ready to aim and shoot. I made fast and quiet movements to where the diapers were. My blood stopped cold hearing a shuffling sound.

I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. I turned around to see a guy who couldn’t be much older than me standing there. He was eyeing me good. His icy blue veins popped out all over the place. He growled at me.

Despite my previous fear towards zombies, I couldn’t help a smirk. “Want me?”

His eyes grew even more wide as he overlooked me more. I held my crossbow up and aimed for the middle of his head. Closing one eye to get better radar. There was another screeching sound.

Fuck.

I pulled the trigger, watching the arrow fly and sink into the guy’s head. I tripped my way over to him, pierced it in even more just to be sure before yanking it out. I reloaded the crossbow with the same arrow and frantically rolled onto my back to aim. She was right above me. I could see the brain matter still attached to the cold metal and without a second though, I glided my fingers over it. The gooey sensation was not pleasant when it hit me. The smell wasn’t either as I wiped it onto my face; it was like expired dairy and throw up all in one. Gross as hell but worth it as I saw the skinny lady sniff the air, confused. She looked displeased when she couldn’t smell what she did before.

Slowly, I sidestepped around her and then bolted to find my dad. I grabbed the walkie-talkie.

“Dad? Do you copy?”

I didn’t get an answer then I could hear some cries and yells. Oh no.

I sprinted the fastest I had ever in my life, looking down every aisle of food. Finally, I found him in the bread. Four or five zombies were going at him. It didn’t matter how it happened, I needed to do something.

I held my crossbow up, aiming for one as I stalked towards them. I pulled the trigger and didn’t wait. I reloaded with another and aimed once again. I took down another. Now, just two were left. My dad still fought with the one holding onto his coat. So, I took down the other trying to help her boyfriend on their date.

My dad smashed the zombie’s head into the shelf a couple times and his body fell limp. I reached my hand out and he gladly took it.

“The guts thing works?” he panted. I noted the scratch on his face and hoped that the virus didn’t transfer that way.

I nodded. “Yeah. Killed one over by the baby stuff.”

“I told you could get good with the bow.” He cheesed, picking up his shotgun and duffle.

I rolled my eyes. “You got everything?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I still need diapers. We should also get candles and toilet paper if there’s any left. Let’s grab em and get out of here.”

“Don’t forget Gander.”

Right…

***

I used a different walkie-talkie to contact Harry when we were back in the driveway. “Hey, we’re back. Open the garage.”

“Okay,” he replied briefly.

The garage door opened and my dad pulled in. Harry was quick to get it closing. Once it was shut and we were in the clear, we carried everything inside. We grabbed like ten boxes of diapers. Each carried five out. Didn’t have to worry about zombies attacking us since we didn’t smell like food.

I went to kiss Harry, but he stepped back. “Please clean up first.”

I smiled slyly before I grabbed his face and rubbed his cheek against mine. Nothing was going to transfer since it was dry.

“Thank you so much, Nikki,” Harry retorted, dramatically wiping his face. He was definitely pleased to see no crud on his fingers.

“You’re welcome.”

Next and final: 5

[Masterlist]

#Harry Styles #Harry Styles fic #Harry Styles fanfiction #comedy #romance #drama #zombies #zombie apocalypse #supernatural #fanfiction #fic

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junkercrush · 6 years ago

Note

Your writing is so good! I was wondering if you could write a NSFW poly fic of a female reader going to the beach with the two junkers? Thank you!! 👙🏖

Thank you so much! :-)

Pardon, it took 12 centuries to write this one (it’s a long one, shorty). Here ya go:

“Pink Shell Island”

NSFW

Pairing: Poly Roadrat x Female Reader

Words: 3,241

“Is it wrong to be in love with two guys?” You asked.

Angela stopped cleaning the caked blood from your forehead to look at you. You just returned from another rough (and amazing) mission with the Junkers in the Brazilian jungle.

“Who are these lucky men?” Angela asked.

You closed your eyes and smiled, thinking about the Junkers causing mayhem as always. “You know,” You hinted. “I’m with them all of the time.”

Angela’s eyes widen, a pink tint appeared on her cheeks. “Oh my!” She gasped.

“Is it bad?”

Angela resumed to cleaning you up. “It’s not. I understand you being with them all the time. You’re free to love whoever. Just follow your heart.”

Is it really that easy?

Perhaps you just confess to both and see their reactions. It was better than letting your indecisiveness driving you mad.

Am I a ho for wanting both?

You laughed at yourself for that thought.

The next week, you were healed enough to return to your regular activities including your gym training.

“Sup, Sheila!” Junkrat shouted as he smacked your ass while you were doing your warm-up squats. You two were so close that kind of greeting was normal.

“Hey, Jamie! Should you be out here right now? I thought Angela told you to stay for another week at the clinic?”

“He’ll be fine.” A deep voice answered. Goosebumps instantly appeared on your skin as you felt Mako’s beefy arm wrap around your waist. He pulled you to him for a hug.

“Hi, Hog.” You sighed. Your heart was beating 10x faster. Your mind screamed, “Fuck yeah!”

“(Y/N), thanks for helping us out back in Brazil.” Hog said. You blushed.

“Always for my Junkers.”

“Hog, let’s go training!”

Hog sighed. “Don’t get jealous now.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jamie huffed. He walked off with Mako to the punching bags and winked back at you.

It’s been a while since you went on a vacation.

While walking on the treadmill, you scrolled through pictures of Ilios. You’ve been obsessed with the seaside Greek town for years. You always hoped to have a mission there but never did.

You glanced up at your phone and caught the Junkers staring at you. Immediately, Mako started barking orders at Jamie. Jamie punched the sandbag with all his might.

You shook your head and went back to your Ilios pictures. Maybe you can take the Junkers with you and tell them there.

Did I leave my phone?

You were steps away from leaving the gym until you felt your empty pockets. Damn it, you didn’t have it!

You paced back to the treadmills and found the phone sitting in an empty cup holder.

“Thank God.” You sighed as you placed the phone back in your pocket.

“Aahhh~.”

You jolted at the scream. It came from the men’s locker room.

You looked around the gym if anybody noticed. You were the only one present. It was late at night anyway.

You tiptoed closer to the locker room for more suspicious sounds. All you could hear was the faint sound of a shower running.

Shit, you hoped nobody was killed in the shower! You looked around before sneaking into the men’s locker room. With every step, you wished you didn’t find a corpse lying on the tile floor in a pool of blood. You had enough action for a month.

You moved closer to the source of the running shower and peeped into the shower room for any bodies. You didn’t just find one, but two, and they were pretty much alive.

Junkrat was holding himself against the wall as Mako was plunging himself into him from behind. He thrust a little too hard at one point and made Jamie yelp. That’s what you heard before.

Holy shit!

Immediately, you turned away from the shocking scene and paced out of the locker room as fast as your legs could take you.

You had eyes on the floor, tears welling up.

Damn it, damn it, damn it! Are you kidding me?! They’re together?! What the fu–

You ran right into Reinhardt’s huge self.

“Greetings, friend!” He cheered.

You had too many emotions in your mind to comprehend what just happened.

“I’m-I’m sorry.” You had no idea why you were apologizing.

“Are you all right?” Reinhardt asked, concerned.

You ran past Reinhardt before he could reach out to you with a comforting hand. You had to go, damn it. You had to leave this place now.

You made up your mind. You were going to Ilios alone.

“Where ya going, love?” Junkrat kept asking you as packed. “I thought we were going to Blizzard World. You, me, and Hog.”

Boy, that would’ve been fine except you had to think about the Junkers rutting in the men’s locker room the entire time.

Now, you were at the airport. The Junkers were kind enough to drop you off.

“Guys, please, don’t worry about me. Go on to Blizzard World. I’ll be fine.”

The Junkers glanced at each other. They weren’t going to leave until they had answers.

Jamie stared at you with his sad eyes.

Goddamnit, you wanted to go with them or take them with you to Ilios, but you were too upset now. Heartbroken. You needed this trip to cool off the anger. Seriously, you didn’t want to be mad at them forever.

“Yeah, I’m good.” You said.

Before you could move on, the Junkers took you in for a big hug. For a moment, you felt at peace.

“Call us if you get into trouble,” Roadhog said, patting your head like you were his pet. Man, you were going to miss his touch.

“See ya” You sighed and walked off to your terminal.

Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.

You turned around. You wished you haven’t. The Junkers looked at you as if you abandoned them. Mako had removed his mask. His eyes looked puffy.

Don’t look at me like that.

You turned away and walked faster, wiping the tears running down your face.

You loved them both but was so angry. Maybe the trip will help you rid of those tumultuous feelings.

Braying donkeys outside woke you up in your cozy seaside villa.

It was early, and there was already a commotion.

You slipped into a robe and peeked outside. The sun was rising out of the glittery Aegean sea. On the cobblestone streets below, vendors were setting up shop for the day.

You stuffed a few clothes and your black one-piece into a backpack. Time to head to the beach!

Your mangled thoughts from the past were leaving you. Thank goodness. You didn’t need the stress to follow you here.

You haven’t turned on your phone since you arrived in Greece. The only times you checked your e-mail was through internet cafes. Anything from Mako and Jamie was left unopened.

You wished you never stepped into the locker room. You wished you weren’t so close to them.

Your heart just had to make things so damn complicated.

You treaded through the streets. A pack of donkeys was blocking your path.

A young boy had trouble leading a stubborn donkey. He beat it with his flimsy stick. It wasn’t working.

“You don’t have to beat the poor creature like that! Come here!” An older woman shoved the farmer boy aside. She caressed the donkey’s mane and whispered something into his ear. The donkey finally moved, leading the other donkeys down the cobblestone hill.

“Finally.” You sighed. The Greek woman turned to you and pointed. You pointed at yourself and mouthed “Me?”

“Your heart misses them.” The woman said with a knowing smile. A shiver ran down your spine. “Go to the island. You will find the true love you seek.” She continued.

The farmer boy rolled his eyes and pushed the woman along.

“Phokos,” The woman growled. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a fortune-telling session!”

“Everybody knows you’re a fake. You can’t even fool the tourists.”

The old woman scoffs. “How dare you! I shall whip you like you whip the donkeys!” The insulted woman grabs Phokos’ stick and chased him down the street. The donkeys followed in a slow procession. All you could do was smile at the scene.

You smoothed your hands over the chill bumps on your arms as you walked closer to the beach. The woman had to read minds. Whoever she was, she predicted well.

You took out your phone and looked up islands nearby Ilios.

Which one she was referring to?

There were a couple, but a “Pink Shell Island” stood out to you. You searched images of the island and found beachgoers picking up pink shells from the beach.

Looked like a favorite place for lovers. Every other picture you saw were couples kissing or walking together by the waves. You had to stop looking at these pictures. Your heart was feeling heavy again.

Time to chill out at the beach and not worry about anything.

The Junkers should be having a blast at Blizzard World now.

Your one-piece was a bit small. You should’ve known. You haven’t worn it since high school.

The suit showed too much booty you wanted the world to see. Your boobs were almost popping out of the top. You should’ve bought one of the bathing suits on display back at the city.

Men were catcalling you in their native language. It was good you had no idea what they were saying or else you would’ve blown a missile at them. If the Junkers were here with you, the catcallers’ bodies would’ve been floating in the ocean.

“Hey lady! Lady!” One catcaller ran up behind you and smacked your ass. There was only one man who was allowed to do that. You whipped around and bopped the man right in the nose.

“You bitch!” Another catcaller called out.

You dropped your backpack and raised your fists. “Wanna go?” Seriously, you didn’t have time for this shit.

“Oh no, it’s her.” One of the catcallers pointed behind you.

You turned around to see the Greek woman you met earlier marching towards you with a paddle in her hand. She was smiling, but her eyes did not read friendly.

The catcallers scrambled off. The one with the now broken nose glanced back at you. “Sorry!” He whispered and scurried off.

“We meet again.” The woman said. She pointed her paddle to an island not far from the beach you two stood. “That’s where you belong.”

“Isn’t that a couples’ island?”

The woman laughed, swinging the boat paddle with one hand. “Don’t worry. Lovers come and go. Let me take you.”

“That’s okay. I’m good here.”

“Do you really want to be on this beach with greasy men smacking your buttocks?” Eh?”

You preferred a quiet beach. You glanced at the distant island then looked back to the woman. “Let’s go.” You decided.

“Good!”

You followed her to a small boat where the little farmer boy was waiting.

“Name’s Agave.” The woman finally introduced herself. “On the boat is my grandson Phokos.”

You stepped into the boat, and it slowly drifted off from shore. Agave only laid back and let the boat move on its own. The paddle was laid abandoned. Did this boat have a mind of its own?

“You made the right decision,” Agave announced. Phokos opened your palm and placed a pink shell on it.

There was an aura of sensuality surrounding the island. Perhaps it was the energy radiating from the lovers who were here. You spotted a couple already making out in the bushes.

"This was a sacred place to Aphrodite.” Agave commented. “You can find the ruins of her temple at the heart of the island.”

You stepped off the boat and sunk your toes into the soft sand. Even the sand was a shade of light pink.

The island’s energy was getting to you. You felt your cheeks burning, your heart was thumping against your chest, and nether regions were stirring. It was like the island was turning you on.

"Agave, what–?“ You turned around and Agave’s boat was gone.

"Oh shit,” You gasped. You freaked out and paced away from the spot until you discovered a cabana waiting for you. Nearby stood a plate of various fruits, goat cheese, and red wine.

You were hungry. You grabbed a couple of pineapple pieces and sipped on a glass of wine.

You laid back on the lounging beach chair and took one last look of Ilios before falling asleep.

What the fuck just happened?

You bolted out of your sleep. You dreamed about Agave coming out of the water. She was dressed in a red robe, like some ancient mystic. Behind her, Roadhog and Junkrat rose out of the water as well.

Were you trapped in some ancient god’s game?

You turned your head, and Junkrat was sleeping on a lounging chair beside you. His hand was holding yours.

“Jamie?” You whispered. If he’s here, then–

“I like your bathing suit,” Roadhog commented. He was looming over you.

“Oh, God!” You shouted, waking Jamie up.

“Surprise.” He mumbled sleepily. Mako let out a hearty laugh.

“I thought you guys–”

“We followed you,” Mako revealed.

“You know, we don’t trust you being on your lonesome. Don’t know how many dipsticks are out there, waiting to mess with ya.” Jamie said.

They’re so caring. A small smile formed on your lips. Mako grabbed your chin to get a good look at you. “I missed this. This smile…”

Your face was heating up again. You wanted to kiss Mako at the spot. Jamie too.

Jamie placed his prosthetic arm on your shoulder. “Guess what we found in this little island.”

You found yourself in the middle of an ancient temple, half of the place was covered in vines.

“Aphrodite’s temple.” You muttered under your breath.

“Is that what this is?” Jamie asked. “We were looking for treasure, but all we found were pictures of folks rootin’.”

He pulls off vines from a wall revealing an ancient fresco of a copulating couple. Yep, this was a temple of Aphrodite alright.

“There’s more,” Mako added. He took your hand and led you deeper into the temple where a magnificent statue of Aphrodite stood. She was once painted gold, but time has faded here into the dullest of yellow.

You peered closer into her face. She looked remotely like a younger Agave.

“You want to touch it?” Junkrat asked you.

You had a strange feeling you shouldn’t. “Should we go back to the beach?”

“I’m going to touch it.” Junkrat ignored you.

“Wait, Jamie–”

Jamie hobbled towards the statue and poked its feet with his peg leg. “What are you ‘afraid of, love?”

Roadhog walked to the statue and laid his hefty hand on it. “What’s the problem?” He asked.

The Junkers stood by the statue for a few minutes.

“Guys?” You said, nervously.

The Junkers smiled at each other them smiled at you. The island’s energy was back, and it was stronger than before.

“Let’s go back,” Junkrat said. “I want some more of that cheese.”

“I saw you guys fucking.” You confessed.

Jamie stared at you with his mouth wide open. He turned to Mako and lightly punched his arm. "I told you we should’ve been quieter.“ He whined.

"Who was the squealer?” Mako looked down at the rat with a grin. Jamie only mumbled to himself and stuffed a fistful of goat cheese into his mouth.

Roadhog turned to you. “We didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t,” You said. “I wasn’t expecting–”

“Do you like us?” Jamie asked. You froze. “Hold up, here’s a better question: Do you want us?”

YES YES YES!

You shook your head.

“Don’t lie.” Mako snapped. You flinched. You hated how much the Hog was the master lie detector.

“Is it right?” You asked. “To be with you both?”

“We fucking love ya, mate,” Jamie stated. “Loved ya for a long time.”

“We were going to ask you at Blizzard World,” Roadhog said.

“Oh?”

Was this really happening? Is this how threesomes formed?

“We weren’t sure if you were the kind of gal, who, you know…” Jamie noted.

“I know, Jamie.” You replied.

You have been thinking about it for years, fantasizing about the Junkers. Some were sweet and wholesome, others were downright dirty. “I love you boys, too.” You declared.

Both Junkers sighed with relief. A sudden gust of wind knocked your food plates over.

“Not the cheese!” Junkrat groaned. He shoved the last sandy pieces of goat cheese into his mouth. You only laughed.

Suddenly, Mako grabbed you by your hips and placed you on his lap. You gasped as you felt his massive hard-on through his speedo.

Holy fuck.

“Now you can join us in the fun stuff,” Roadhog growled in your ear. God, his voice could melt chocolate.

“What kind of fun stuff?” You asked.

“Rat, show her your upgraded hand.”

The toothy grin Junkrat gave you made your legs weak. He looked down at you like he was going to eat you alive. Right now, you would let him.

“Close your eyes, love,” Jamie instructed.

You closed your eyes. You could feel Roadhog slowly grinding his hard-on against your bottom.

“Just relax, love, and listen to the waves.”

You relaxed in Roadhog’s lap, listening to the crushing waves, anticipating what’s coming up. You felt your shoulder straps from your top being removed. Your breasts finally free from its wetsuit prison.

Mako’s hot breath was on your neck. He was sniffing you. You tried not to react as he kissed the crook of your neck.“Mmmm, tasty.” He whispered.

You heard something buzzing. “Junk?” You called out. Your eyes were still closed.

“Hush love,” Junkrat ordered. “Hog, take it all off.”

Roadhog lifted you from his lap and slipped the rest of your bathing suit right off you.

"Junkrat?” You whispered. You were utterly curious and aroused. You could feel your slick starting to trickle between your legs.

“Mmm, look at you,” Jamie muttered. His vibrating fingers startled you.

“Oh my God!” You whimpered. Your eyes met with Jamie’s. He waved his humming fingers at you.

“Like the update?” He asked.

Before you could answer, Mako spread your legs. “Let’s make her squeal.”

You held on to Mako’s arm.

“We have all the time in the world.” Jamie grinned.

The Junkers took their sweet time with you, introducing you to pleasures you never felt before.

Junkrat fingered you with his vibrating fingers almost to the point of coming. Mako stopped him so he could have his way with you. “You deserve a place on top.” He grunted.

Mako watched you as you rode yourself on his dick. Jamie watched on the sand, palming himself through his swim trunks.

When you were close to coming again, Mako stopped so he and Jamie could have you right on the sand. Jamie in front, and Mako behind you.

“S-shit, guys!” You yelped. You clung on to Junkrat as the two Junkers pumped you into both holes. You let your head back, an inaudible scream came out of you as you finally climaxed. The Junkers cuddled with you, whispering how much they loved you.

At least you know now it’s not wrong to love both.

THE END

#poly roadrat #poly roadrat x reader #mako rutledge #roadhog #junkrat #jamison fawkes #masterlist #stories

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1dffexchange · 6 years ago

Photo

Warm Blood

To: Eriza @booksncoffee

From: Natasha @wokeuptired

Summary: This is ridiculous, and Carver knows it.

She doesn’t even know his name, and he’s all she can think about. One kiss at an office Christmas party—an office where she doesn’t even work most of the time—and she can’t get him off her mind.

It doesn’t help that she’s spending a week working in said office, sitting at a neat freak’s desk and trying not to leave fingerprints behind while looking over her shoulder every five minutes to see if he—Mistletoe Boy—is at the coffee pot.

She’s beginning to think she dreamed him up.

ONE.

Carver Cantrell is not somebody who makes stupid decisions.

That is the first thing she would want you to know about her: this is not her modus operandus. She is not the kind of girl who buys a plane ticket and jets off to Paris on a whim. She doesn’t purchase expensive articles of clothing without stalking them online for a few weeks first. The wildest evening she has is when she orders something different from the Chinese place on the corner. Nobody would ever call her a wild child.

And she certainly doesn’t kiss boys she’s never met under the mistletoe at the office holiday party just because she feels like it.

Except she just did.

“Wow.”

Carver pulls back, unsure of which of them said that, her or the guy she’s just been locking lips with. Her heart is beating so loud she can hear it in her ears, and she can feel her blood hot in her cheeks. His eyes are bright blue, so blue she can feel them in her toes.

Which is a feeling she’s never felt before. Crazy, because Carver thought, right before this second, that she’d felt them all.

Her emotions have tended towards the severe ever since she was a kid. Imagine six year-old Carver, throwing a fit at the supermarket because her favorite cereal was out of stock, and her helpless mother, standing three feet away with her hands up so that other shoppers wouldn’t assume she was the cause of the tantrum. Skip to middle school, when Carver didn’t eat for two days after she and her best friend—the same Jess whom she roomed with in college, walked beside at graduation, and is currently accompanying to this party—had a fight. Just last month, she watched a Hallmark movie where a woman reunited with her teenage love after twenty-five years, and she sobbed for an hour.

Anger, sadness, happiness—Carver has always felt them all in extremes. She’s learned over the years to take deep breaths until the emotions calm down so she can figure out which ones to listen to before she acts, but they’re still there, nonetheless.

Like two minutes ago, when she turned a corner on her way to the restroom and walked right into the sturdy chest of the guy who currently has his arms wrapped around her. He sparked something in her right away, and the inches they’ve just put between them have done nothing to dampen that flame.

“Sorry,” he says. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingertips warm. “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

This is where she should say something like, “Fuck that, do it again!” but her mind draws a blank. Her brain is too busy considering his accent, which is decidedly not California surfer boy like every boy she’s dated since she moved here a year ago, to come up with something witty to fire back at him.

“Hey, Car—”

She looks over my shoulder to see Jess coming around the corner. She has a plate in her hand piled high with Carver’s weakness: angel food cake, the literal food of angels.

“I found this,” she says, holding it out. “And you. And, you’re busy, apparently—who’s this?”

Carver follows her gaze back to the boy in question, who’s pushing a hand through his hair and grinning. His hair looks like it’s straight out of a shampoo commercial. She should’ve touched it during their kiss. What a missed opportunity.

“Sorry, I—I was actually on my way out,” he says. His eyes return to her as he brushes a fingertip across her cheek before stepping back. “It was nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she manages before he turns away and disappears around the corner.

Jess grabs her elbow. “What was that? Who was that?”

Carver lets her tug her back into the party. “I have no idea.”

Five minutes later, Carver’s shoveling angel food cake into her mouth and recounting the last hour as Jess rambles on with the office manager, Kayla. Michael Buble’s Christmas album plays in the background, stockings hang on the wall, and a small Christmas tree sits in the corner, but nothing can disguise the fact that this is an office. A well-designed office, but an office nonetheless.

Jess has worked for West & Up for a year, and Carver’s going on month three. West & Up is one of those newer companies that’s popped up as interior design has become accessible to anybody with internet access. It’s part online home goods retailer (think Wayfair but a bit less fashionable), part interior design firm. Jess does web design, and Carver crunch numbers.

They both work in the Century City office, where a bunch of nerds in glasses occupy cubicles in a decidedly less fashionable building right next to the freeway. Carver had never been to the Santa Monica office before tonight, and she’s definitely been missing out, because not only can you smell the ocean from the balcony, cute boys also work here.

One cute boy in particular.

Carver has never felt such an instant connection with someone before, and she can already tell it’s going to consume me. This is how her mind works: it can only focus on one thing at a time, and that one thing nearly always becomes an obsession. That’s why she’s so good at math. Her OCD keeps her doing problems over and over again until she’s sure they’re perfect. And her OCD will no doubt have her going over that kiss incessantly.

“Carver, it’s going to be so great to have you here in January,” Kayla says. “I’m so happy you said yes.”

Carver swallows a bite of angel food cake and fakes a smile. Truth be told, she’s not looking forward to her temporary reassignment to the Santa Monica office. She hates changes to her routine, and she hates things that aren’t her choice. Kayla says she agreed, but when her supervisor presented it to her, it didn’t really seem like saying no was an option.

“I’m really excited to see how things work around here,” she says, which is about the best answer she can manage without the unrelenting guilt she always feels when she lies. She doesn’t tell Kayla she doesn’t understand why she can’t continue her internal audit of the company from her own cubicle.

She has a slight suspicion that she’s going to arrive for her first day in January and be instructed to count the pens in the copy room.

TWO.

Kayla Warner is not the kind of person who takes no for an answer.

This is typically something that works in Niall’s favor, because Kayla is the office manager and when she’s on your side, she gets shit done. Niall befriended her on his first day at West & Up, and ever since, she’s been going to war for him. She got him the best cubicle (aka the one furthest from the break room), always makes sure he leaves promptly at five, even if she has to drag him out herself, and never fails to order his favorite brand of pens. Usually Kayla Warner is his hero.

But now that she’s decided to be his matchmaker, he’s moving her decidedly into the “villain” column. Once Kayla has an idea in her head, there’s absolutely no talking her out of it. Which doesn’t mean Niall isn’t going to try.

THIS IS A BAD IDEA.

Niall watches as three little dots appear on his phone, showing that Kayla is responding to his all-caps message. He never should’ve told her about Mistletoe Girl in the first place, but Kayla could tell that something was up when he suddenly appeared way more interested in Kayla’s incessant stream of office gossip than he used to be. Kayla practically sniffed it on him.

“You kissed somebody at the Christmas party, didn’t you?” she demanded, the question mark only there out of politeness. Kayla’s like a bloodhound when it comes to secrets, especially secrets related to the affairs of the heart.

Not that Niall’s heart is involved here. He really doesn’t want it to be, because it shouldn’t be, not after one kiss. Even if it was the most perfect kiss he’s ever experienced in all his years of kissing–barely a decade, so he wouldn’t exactly call himself an expert, but he knows a good kiss when he sees it.

Kayla’s still typing, so Niall navigates away from the text message thread and opens Instagram. He’d scoured the employee profiles a zillion times over the past few weeks searching for Mistletoe Girl, looking at all the Carters and Carolyns and Carlas that work for the company, and he couldn’t find her. But now, thanks to Kayla, he knows her name, her actual name, so he can stalk her on social media.

Carver Cantrell. Her profile is private, so Niall can’t see much beyond her bio and her profile picture (her smiling face pressed up against a puppy’s much smaller one), but it’s gratifying to know that she’s real. It’s a relief to know that he didn’t imagine the whole thing. And it’s nice to know that she loves dogs. Loving dogs is a good sign.

Niall doesn’t blame himself for questioning his sanity. It was like something out of a romance film, wasn’t it? Kayla’s obsessed with those things, “Love Actually” and “27 Dresses” and all that. It’s not every day that you’re on the way back from the bathroom at the dreaded office Christmas party when a cute girl crashes into you right under the mistletoe. And it’s certainly not every day that a kiss with a stranger makes you reexamine the way you look at the world.

Kayla’s reply rolls in, distracting Niall from reading Carver’s bio for the hundredth time.

THIS IS A GREAT IDEA

YOU CAN LEAVE HER CHOCOLATE AND FLIRTY NOTES ON YOUR DESK

I’M A FUCKING GENIUS

The messages arrive one after the other in rapid succession. Kayla texts like she talks: without breathing. It overwhelmed Niall when they first met, the speed at which Kayla thinks and talks and moves, but he’s slightly less intimidated by her now. Slightly.

Sighing, Niall clicks through to the text thread and hits the call button. It only rings once before Kayla picks up.

“You’re not going to be able to talk me out of this,” she says. Something clangs in the background; she’s probably making cookies again.

“It’s a terrible idea in every way,” Niall says. He stands from the couch and goes into the kitchen. Speaking with Kayla always makes him feel like he’s not doing enough. Like he ought to be doing at least 6 things simultaneously while talking to her. “You know I hate people in my workspace. It’s like you’re making us move in together, and we’ve barely even spoken.”

Kayla laughs. “Exactly. This is a great trial run. I’m pretty sure she’s just as much of a neat freak as you are, but if she’s not, you’ll be able to tell, and then you can abort the mission.”

“I want to abort the mission already.” Niall opens the fridge and starts unloading it of containers full of leftovers that should’ve been thrown out weeks ago. “You’re the one who’s not letting me.”

“That’s because I am your best friend and I care about your well-being.”

“But—”

“I’m not hearing it, Niall Horan,” Kayla says. “Now stop pretending to clean your kitchen, hang up the phone, and figure out a plan for tomorrow, will you? I can’t do everything for you.”

“Are you sure you can’t?” Niall asks. “Because you’ve done the rest of this for me. So I think you could just—”

“Don’t be facetious, Niall, it doesn’t suit you,” Kayla says before hanging up.

Sometimes Kayla reminds Niall of his mother, and since she’s far away across the Atlantic Ocean, he doesn’t really mind that.

Except right now. Right now, it’s driving him crazy.

THREE.

On Monday, January 7th, Carver parks her car in the lot outside West & Up’s Santa Monica office. She’s ten minutes early, and she fully intends to use all ten of those minutes to have a panic attack in her car.

There’s a post-it on her dashboard that, at her therapist’s suggestion, reads, “EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE,” and she repeats that aloud to herself a few times, but it doesn’t help. She makes a list in her mind of all the things that could go wrong. Maybe her cubicle neighbor will smell like baloney sandwiches. Maybe she will embarrass herself in front of the CEO. Or, maybe, worst of all, she might run into Mistletoe Boy.

She’s done her best over the past couple of weeks to forget about him, but she hasn’t gotten very far. And Jess’s constant mentioning of the kiss hasn’t helped things. She’s scoured the employee profiles on the company website for the guy with the soft lips and the foreign accent that Carver kissed at the Christmas party, and she’s come up empty.

“He must be one of the ones with no photo,” Jess has insisted multiple times.

“Or maybe he doesn’t work at West & Up anymore,” Carver told Jess last night as she was waxing on about how her chances of running into him again were about to increase exponentially. “Or maybe he never did, and he was crashing the party and that’s why he ducked away so fast. Or maybe he’s engaged to one of the girls from HR, or—”

“Or maybe you’re looking for excuses,” Jess said, jabbing an elbow into Carver’s side. They were watching “Set It Up” on Netflix for the zillionth time, and Jess had paused in speaking all the lines along with the actors to remind Carver that she may have watched her chance at one true love walk out the door a few weeks back. “Do not hide in your cubicle for the next week, okay? You need to, like, make yourself visible.”

“How do you suppose I do that?”

“Go to the coffee machine, like, all the time. Introduce yourself to everyone you can.” Jess turned to Carver, her eyes wide, her tone serious. “And, for the love of God, make a fucking move if you see him again.”

Carver tries not to think about that right now, as she squints into the sunlight and curse herself, again, for leaving the house without her sunglasses this morning, as that’s basically a death sentence in Los Angeles.

She reads her post-it again: “EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.”

Then she takes a deep breath and opens the car door.

Kayla practically pounces on her when the elevator doors open on the third floor. She checks Carver in and shows her where the restroom is and babbles the entire time about how great her New Year’s was and how she hopes Carver’s was great too and did she watch the ball drop this year?

“You can use Horan’s desk,” she says, leading Carver through the office. It’s an open plan, desks everywhere, most of them totally cluttered. Paper everywhere, knicknacks, dusty computer screens. But the desk Kayla guides Carver to is wiped clean. “He’s one of our architects. He’s on site all week.”

“You’re sure he won’t mind?” Carver runs her eyes over the spotless desktop. There’s a pothos plant in a terra cotta pot next to a black mug holding six identical black pens, and that’s it. The only bit of personalization she can spot is a dinosaur sticker on the corner of the computer monitor. Horan, whoever he is, clearly values cleanliness over, well, pretty much everything else.

It actually reminds Carver a little bit of her workspace, but at least she’s got more than one plant.

“Oh, yeah,” Kayla says. “He won’t care. He might come by in the evenings, though, so you should be out of here by five if you can, and don’t leave anything lying around. He’s a bit of a neat freak.”

“Right.” Carver pushes the keyboard out of the way and puts her laptop on the desk. “I’ll be out of here by five.”

“You know where I am if you need anything. See you at lunch!” Kayla calls as she disappears around the corner

Carver opens her laptop and clicks through her email to the spreadsheets the company wants her to look through. Luckily she hasn’t been asked to count any pencils yet, but the day is still young.

By lunch time, her fingers hurt and her eyes are dry. Kayla takes her to a salad place across the street, and Carver forces myself to choke down kale topped with assorted vegetables. When she was younger, she believed that she’d magically develop a taste for salad once she reached her twenties, since it’s what twenty-something professionals always ate for lunch on tv shows, but it hasn’t happened yet.

Then she returns to Horan’s immaculate cubicle, puts her earbuds in, and zones into the work. She used to think that she’d have to hate her job in her twenties, just as she’d have to love salads, but the truth is, she loves it. She loves columns of numbers and when there’s a knot in the data she has to untangle. She loves losing herself in it, because in the numbers there is always an answer.

In life, there often aren’t answers, and she’s not a fan of ambiguity.

Before she leaves, she can’t resist opening the top drawer to see if that’s where the owner of this desk hides his mess. But, no, it’s just as organized as the surface. Plastic bins hold pens, paperclips, pencils, and post-its, all in separate sections. There isn’t a thing out of place. She wonders if he uses dinner plates with dividers, too.

Carver snags a bright pink post-it out of the drawer and scrawls a quick note on it before sticking it to the monitor.

Thanks for letting me use your desk. I tried not to leave too many fingerprints. Sorry for snooping through your drawer, but I wanted to find your organizational weakness. Apparently you don’t have any. Congratulations. - Carver

FOUR.

Niall chickened out.

After all that berating last night and a pep talk via text from Kayla this morning, he chickened out. He didn’t leave anything at his desk for Carver, and, to top it off, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

Every day at the Wilson project is a busy day, and today was no exception. This morning, two of the guys ripped out the old range and found faulty wiring, which is a remodel nightmare second only to flooding. That should’ve been enough to distract Niall, but it wasn’t. He pulled out a pen to make some notes and wondered what kind of pens Carver likes. He looked at granite samples with the Wilsons and wondered if Carver would think the black countertop would darken the room.

And then he thought about how fucked up it was that he was thinking about what Carver would think, considering he doesn’t even know her. Fucked up and creepy.

But here he is anyway, driving to the office in 5 o’clock traffic to see if Carver’s left any mark on his cuble. A very small, slightly creepy part of him is hoping he’ll be able to catch a trace of her perfume lingering in the air. He doesn’t have the vocabulary to describe scents, but he smelled it on her the night they kissed, and he knows he’ll recognize it instantly if he smells it again.

Kayla’s already left, which means he doesn’t have to face an interrogation when he passes her desk. The entire office is pretty much cleared out, which is how he likes it. Honestly,if he could work from home, he would. Other people are exhausting.

Which is part of the reason he’s afraid, he thinks, of meeting Carver. He’s idealized her so much in his head, but what if when he meets her, really meets her, she’s boring? Or annoying or just plain exhausting? What if spending time with her makes him wish he were spending time alone? The disappointment could crush him.

Which is why it’s easier to pretend he doesn’t care.

As he rounds the corner towards his cubicle, his heartbeat quickens, which is a total betrayal of his attempts to be nonchalant about this whole thing. He takes a deep breath, but it doesn’t help. Then his desk comes to view.

Nothing appears to be amiss. His chair is tucked in just the way he likes it, all of his black pens are still in their black mug, and his dinosaur sticker hasn’t moved. But—

Wait, what is that?

Niall grabs the post-it off the monitor and brings it up to his face. Is this Carver’s handwriting? It’s much neater than he’d expected based on the way her hair was slightly askew at the party. One’s general upkeep, he’s noticed, tends to belay their handwriting, and their handwriting reflects their level of organizational mastery.

Niall’s own hair is always flawless.

He reads the note to himself a couple of times, smiling at the mention of fingerprints. Apparently Carver has a sense of humor. And she might like post-its just as much as he does.

Hmm. Niall takes a seat at his desk, opens the drawer for another post-it, and grabs a pen. Time to come up with something clever to say in response.

FIVE.

In the morning, there’s a new post-it note on the monitor. Carver grins when she first sees it, because she’s always loved the idea of penpals, letters exchanged between strangers. She’s never had one herself, but novels always made it seem like you could tell your friend who lived worlds away things you couldn’t tell your BFF who lived next door.

Carver doesn’t have any such expectations of Niall Horan, of course, but it still makes her a bit giddy to see that he’s written her back.

But that feeling disappears as soon as she reads the note.

Thanks for your note, and thanks for keeping my desk clean. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but I don’t really mind fingerprints. As long as there aren’t too many. And you keep them off the computer screen. You have neat handwriting, though, so I think I can live with you using my desk for the week. - Niall

Carver turns the post-it face-down on the desk. Maybe she was slightly rude in my post-it, but his message is ruder. “I can live with you using my desk for a week”—who talks to a stranger like that? It might be sarcasm, but he should know better than to be sarcastic in a note. There’s no room for nuance in a post-it note, they’re much too small.

What Carver wants to say in response is also much too long for a post-it note, so she yanks open the top drawer in search of notepaper. Her desk back in her cubicle hosts a variety of cute notepads and post-its, but all she can find in Niall’s desk is a small yellow legal pad. Despite its unattractiveness, it’ll have to do.

She does decorate the corner with a giant flower, though, courtesy of one of Niall’s five identical black pens.

Dear Niall,

Thanks for your note. I appreciate that you can live with me using your desk for a week, although I’d like you to know that I’d gladly vacate for another workspace if given the chance, since you seem like an asshole. Is that your weakness? You don’t know how to be nice to strangers on post-it notes? Good luck with that. I hope you enjoy being alone.

Note written—or at least started; Carver thinks she might have more to say later—she shoves it under Niall’s keyboard and opens her laptop. She’ll leave it there for the day, keeping it in the back of her mind, and right before she leaves, she’ll decided whether or not to leave it.

No impulsive decisions, even in anger.

Except maybe she should be impulsive. Maybe she should stand up for herself, even though there may be negative consequences, like an even ruder reply tomorrow, or a chastising by Kayla or even a meeting with HR for inter-office harassment.

Carver goes back and forth about it all morning. She spends a bit of mental energy regretting leaving a note at all yesterday, and then a bit more energy wishing she’d asked Kayla more questions about the owner of the desk. Like, is he a nutcase? Is he obsessed with fingerprints? Because he catalogues them? Because he’s a crazy, stalking, murdering, psychopath?

By lunch time, Carver feels like she’s bursting at the seams. Kayla shows up for lunch, and Carver practically leaps out of her seat. They barely make it out of the building before Carver brings it up.

“Hey, so this Horan guy? What’s he like?”

Kayla looks over her shoulder as she pushes out the front door of the building and into the sunlight. “Why do you ask?”

Carver wrinkles her nose at Kayla’s smile. “He left me a super rude note.”

The smile drops instantly. “What?”

Carver squints into the sunlight and stops to fish her sunglasses out of her purse. “Yeah,” she says to Kayla. “I left him a note last night, thanking him for letting me use his desk and whatnot, and I come in this morning to a note that’s like, don’t leave too many fingerprints and I won’t kill you.”

“What? There’s no way Niall wrote that,” Kayla says.

Carver follows her into the same salad place as yesterday. “I mean, I may’ve exaggerated a little. But that was the gist of it.”

The conversation pauses as Carver orders her food—the same salad as yesterday—but Kayla brings it up again as soon as the two of them are seated. The restaurant isn’t exactly quiet, but Kayla is not the kind of person, Carver’s beginning to realize, who lets a loud space hinder her conversation.

“Niall is not an asshole, I promise,” Kayla says. She extracts a metal straw out of her bag and sticks it in her drink. “He’s just not that good at people.”

“What?”

Kayla shrugs. “Listen, I’ve been friends with him for three years. He doesn’t always make the best first impression. Like, he tries, but it’s hard for him.”

What? Carver thinks the question this time instead of voicing it. She understands being socially awkward, but the best thing about written correspondence is that you can revise it a thousand times before sending it off (or, as it were, leaving it taped to a monitor).

“Like, okay,” Kayla continues. “He probably thought he was being funny. But he’s such a dingbat he doesn’t realize that sarcasm doesn’t translate when it’s written down, or he thought he was making a joke and he didn’t realize that he’s not funny. Like, he’s really not funny.”

Carver tries to think of something to say in response, but she finds herself coming up empty. Kayla’s trying to apologize for Niall, but Carver’s realizing that she really doesn’t want to hear it. Luckily her salad arrives, saving her. She shoves a forkful of lettuce into her mouth and chews as Kayla rambles on.

Finally, Kayla pauses, so Carver asks what she really wants to know. “So, do you think I should write back?”

Kayla’s fork hovers in the air on its way to her mouth. “Do you want to write back?”

Carver blinks. “I don’t know what I want to do.”

“Well, I’m a firm believer that you should do whatever feels right to you,” Kayla says, setting her fork down. “So maybe what you need to do is figure out what it is you want to do.”

Carver nods, repeating that over and over in her head until it starts to make sense.

At least, the words make sense. She still has no idea whether or not she should leave the note.

SIX.

“I wrote her a note.”

“Yeah, I know, you idiot,” Kayla says sharply. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Niall nearly drops his phone. That would be especially bad considering he’s currently squatting over a puddle of water in the middle of the Wilson construction site. He’s downgrading it from kitchen to construction site, since every 10 minutes a new problem arises that requires something else to be ripped out or torn up. The drywall is gone, revealing rotting studs, and when they pulled up the tile this morning, they found mold in the floorboards.

This house isn’t even old. Niall doesn’t understand it.

But he has to deal with it nonetheless.

“What are you talking about?” he asks.

“She asked me about you,” Kayla says. She’s whispering, like maybe she’s sitting at her desk right now and doesn’t want to be overheard. “Hold on, let me go outside.”

Niall stands up and turns his back on the other guys staring hopelessly into the puddle. He walks into the Wilsons’ backyard, which borders a strip of land known for being a mountain lion hotspot. When he first moved to LA, Niall was fascinated with them, with P-22 and his brave freeway crossings (both the 405 and the 101) and his adventures around Griffith Park. Experts say that P-22 will probably never leave Griffith Park’s 8 square miles, which is only half a victory. He’ll be safe because he’s the only male mountain lion living there, but he’ll never mate. His line will end with him.

Niall isn’t nearly as pessimistic about his own future, but he does have a few things in common with P-22. In a city surrounded by people, sometimes he feels like he’s living on an island. Anyone who wants to get to him will have to cross treacherous territory.

“Okay, I’m back,” Kayla says in Niall’s ear. “Now tell me what the fuck you were thinking, please.”

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about,” Niall says.

“Your note! You were a total asshole. At lunch today Carver was like, who is this guy and what the heck is his problem? And she’s totally right. What the heck is your problem?”

Right now Niall’s problem is that Kayla doesn’t seem to be planning on letting him get a word in. “Well—”

“Stop talking. I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you. You don’t know how to be nice to people because you are afraid of making authentic connections because then someone might get close enough to see that you’re as perfect as you pretend to be.”

“Hey—”

“It’s not your turn, idiot. You need to fix this now, because you haven’t completely ruined your chances, but you’re close, I can tell you that. I tried to tell Carver that you’re just bad at first impressions, but she wasn’t hearing it. Like, she literally zoned out and stopped listening to me.”

Niall feels like doing that right now. He also feels like jumping headfirst into the Wilsons’ pool, or throwing his phone in so the water can drown out Kayla’s voice. Or maybe he should leave his phone here and walk off into the forest and make a new home with P-22. The mountain lion won’t judge him. It might attack him, but it certainly won’t do so while calling him an idiot.

No, Niall can do that himself. He definitely feels stupid right now. He thought he was being witty and maybe even flirty, but clearly none of that came across. Instead he made himself look like an asshole, and he’s probably completely ruined his chances with Carver, who—he can admit this to himself, even if he hasn’t said it out loud—might be the one girl who could save him from a P-22 fate.

“So figure out a plan, Niall, because Carver is probably sitting at your desk right now writing a note to you about how much of a dickhead you’re being, and your deserve it!” Final words voiced, Kayla hangs up.

Niall sighs, allows himself a moment of self-pity, and opens the notes app on his phone to make a list.

Before end of work day:

- Call plumber

- Figure out how to explain further delay to Wilsons

- Call Wilsons, explain, apologize

- File report with office

By tomorrow AM:

- Fix Carver problem

- Refill gas tank

- Sleep?

It’s shaping up to be a busy afternoon.

SEVEN.

Carver wakes up the next morning feeling perfectly normal, and then she remembers what she decided. Before she left the office, she pulled her note out from underneath Niall’s keyboard, signed her name to it with a flourish, and taped it to his monitor.

She sits up in bed, overcome with a wave of nausea. Assuming Niall went to the office last night, which he most likely did because he seems like the kind of person who follows his routines religiously, without exception, there is going to be a note waiting for her, and it’s probably not going to be a nice one.

But when she gets to Niall’s desk, there’s nothing there. Her note is gone, but there isn’t a new one.

Fuck. There are so many things this could mean. Maybe he read her note and was so annoyed by it that he decided she wasn’t worth responding to. Maybe he laughed and crumbled it up into a ball and tossed it over his shoulder as he walked through the parking lot to his car. Or maybe a janitor threw it away and he never even saw it.

Carver pushes it out of her mind, though, because she has work to do. There are numbers to be crunched and data to be sorted and there is plenty to distract her anxious mind.

But she can’t get the note out of her head. How did he react to her note? Why didn’t he respond? Is she a terrible person for leaving it in the first place?

Just before 11 AM, Kayla pops her head over the edge of the cubicle, a mug of coffee in her hands. “Morning,” she says. “Can you do me a favor?”

Carver minimizes my spreadsheet and grins. “Of course. I need a break anyway.” That isn’t an overstatement. With all the circles her brain has been going in, Carver wonders how she managed to get anything done this morning.

“Great.” Kayla holds out a manila envelope. “Can you take an early lunch and drop this off for Horan at the Wilson house?”

Drop this off for Horan. Oh, shit.

“Of course,” Carver says, but meanwhile her brain is having a heart attack. She hates spur of the moment plans, she hates going to places she’s never been before, and mostly she hates that she might be about to confront Niall in a place she’s never been before, where she can’t control anything.

She can’t say any of that out loud, though, so she takes the envelope from Kayla and puts the address Kayla gives her into Google maps on her phone. She blasts the “Mamma Mia” soundtrack on the drive, but it doesn’t help calm her nerves.

Even though the house isn’t geographically that far away, it takes nearly half an hour to get there, which must be why Kayla told Carver she wouldn’t expect her back before two. Los Angeles traffic is no exaggeration.

She parks her car at the end of a long driveway and pushes her sunglasses onto her head. She remembered them this morning, but she doesn’t think they’re going to save her from whatever is going to happen at the top of the drive.

The house is the first thing that shocks her. It’s beautiful, and that’s not a term she typically uses to describe architecture. She may work for West & Co., but she’s a math geek. She’s a human computer. She doesn’t have a natural taste for beautiful construction, but this she recognizes. It’s two stories and massive but not obviously so, because the facade has varying heights and it doesn’t look like an imposing box. She can tell, though, that the people who live here are loaded. There are mediterranean stones and slightly tinted window panes and she can just bet that the back of the house is entirely glass to give the residents the best possible view of the hills behind.

She walks through a beautifully manicured front yard to find that the front door is open, so she goes inside without knocking. The front hall is two stories high, and a living room with mid-century modern furniture is on the right. It looks like it belongs in an Architectural Digest celebrity home tour on youtube. There is no clutter anywhere, like maybe no one lives in this house and it’s actually just used for filming and photoshoots.

Carver follows the sound of hammers through to the kitchen at the back of the house. There are floor to ceiling windows, just like she expected, and even though the kitchen is entirely deconstructed—it looks like custom cabinets are currently being installed—she can already tell it’s going to be beautiful.

“Hey, Horan!”

Shit. Carver follows the direction of the shout and steps further into the kitchen, and that’s when she sees him.

He’s outside, so they’re separated by a massive kitchen and a sliding glass door, but it’s definitely him.

It’s Mistletoe Boy.

It can’t be, though, right? He can’t be Niall. Niall can’t be him. They can’t be the same person.

But then somebody shouts, “Horan!” again and Mistletoe Boy turns and, oh shit, he’s coming this way, and Carver definitely cannot deal with this right now. She backtracks out of the house and grabs a construction worker who’s just coming in.

“Can you give this to Horan?” she asks, holding out the envelope. The guy wrinkles his brow, but he shrugs and takes the envelope. “Thanks,” Carver says, and then she practically runs to her car.

Carver starts the engine as she’s buckling her seatbelt (even though her mother taught her never to do that), and she drives out of the neighborhood with her heart attempting to beat its way out of her chest. She pulls into the first parking lot she sees, shuts off her car, and leans her head on the dashboard.

Of all the things to happen today, it had to be this. She had to find out that Mistletoe Boy and desk asshole Niall Horan are the same person, and that had to happen at his construction sight and it had to be a total surprise, and now she’s sitting in her car in a parking lot outside of a Whole Foods and this is fucking Beverly Hills or something (Carver really doesn’t know where the fuck she is right now) and she’s probably going to get arrested for having a panic attack in her car.

Deep breaths, Carver, her voice of reason tells her, and she leans her head back and tries to listen. Her dashboard post-it tells her that “EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE” but that doesn’t seem realistic right now.

Nonetheless, Carver says it out loud.

“Everything will be fine,” she tells the steering wheel.

“Everything will be fine,” she tells her bitten-down fingernails.

“Everything will be fine,” she tells her purse, haphazardly thrown on the floor on the passenger’s side as she rushed away from the Wilson house.

“Everything will be fine,” she tells herself.

Then someone knocks on her window, causing her to shriek.

Everything is not going to be fine.

EIGHT.

Carver looks up, eyes wide, and Niall regrets this immediately. When he saw Carver rushing to her car looking as though she’d seen a ghost, he knew instantly that she saw him, realized who he was, and panicked. His brain told him that if he let her go now, he might never see her again.

So he followed her out. He jumped in his truck and trailed her car out of the Wilsons’ fancy neighborhood and into the parking lot of a Whole Foods. Whole Foods is a store that he generally tries to avoid because the prices are ridiculous and all of the Prius drivers in the parking lot give him dirty looks when he parks his truck, but none of that matters right now.

What does matter is Carver, and she looks like she would rather cry than talk to him.

Too bad, because for the first time in a long time, Niall doesn’t want to walk away from this problem.

He meets Carver’s eyes and waves. She grimaces, so he tries to smile. Carver closes her eyes, takes a visible deep breath, and reaches for the door handle.

“Shit.” Niall takes a step back, out of her way, and tries not to panic. He didn’t really think this part through. What the hell is he going to say to this girl? This girl of his dreams? The girl who is now standing in front of him, leaning against her closed car door, looking up at him like he’s already broken her heart.

Damn, what a mess. Niall hates messes.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” Carver says. She looks exactly as he remembered her: green eyes, blond wavy hair, oversize glasses. Just as cute as she was before Christmas.

He said hi, then she said hi, so it’s his turn again. Unfortunately, his mind is blank.

This was much easier in December, when they were standing in the dark under the mistletoe and Niall didn’t yet know that the kiss they were about to share would haunt him for several weeks following.

“Sorry about the note I left you,” Carver says, saving his ass. “I shouldn’t have written any of that.”

Niall shakes his head. “No, I deserved it. I’m a terrible note writer.”

Carver bites her lip; she’s either holding back a smile or a frown. “You could definitely use some practice.” It’s definitely a smile.

Niall smiles back. “Will you let me try again tomorrow?”

Carver nods.

NINE.

Dear Carver,

This is what I should’ve written in the first note: I knew that you were using my desk, and by that I mean that I remember you from the Christmas party. I’m glad that you’re using my desk, but what I’d like better is if you’d go out on a date with me. I think you’re kind and funny and sweet, and I want to learn more about you.

Best,

Niall

TEN.

Dear Niall,

Yes.

- Carver

#1dff #exchanges

147 notes · View notes

mysticmessheadcanons · 7 years ago

Note

Headcanons for the RFA+Saeran going to MC's family's house but as the day progresses MC's family has some crazy drama like MC's sister slept with the other sister's bf and it turns out her brother cheated on his wife and theres so much drama and MC and the RFA+Saeran are just there like "okay wow um"

Sure haha

YOOSUNG

* you invited him to spend a weekend with your family

* mostly because your parents wanted to know him

* and also your sisters were coming too

* so it was going to be a typical weekend at your house

* nice food because your parents loved to cook special meals on weekends

* movie nights

* and maybe some games

* it was like that all your life

* so you were excited to show Yoosung all of this

* when you two arrived your sisters were already there

* so he got to meet everyone

* and being like he is everyone loved him

* later that day you were helping with the dinner and he was talking with your sisters

* dinner was ready and the table was being loud as ever

* everyone talking about different topics

* your mother talking about her job and your dad about something that he saw on internet

* your sisters talking about college

* they were a year apart and went to the same college

* you were sitting next to him so you two were talking

* mostly because the rest was a mess and you couldn’t hear the other conversations

* but all of sudden the table stopped

* you both looked up and your sisters were about to fight

* you knew their looks and this was going to be huge

* they started yelling at each other

* about stupid things

* your parents trying to calm them

* it was impossible

* you knew those two since they were born and nothing was going to calm them

* “I MEET HIM FIRST! I TOLD YOU! “

* “YOU NEVER SAID HIS NAME!! HOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW! “

* Yoosung was in shock

* they were fight about a boy

* who apparently was dating them both

* “Mc, should we stop them?”

* he was whispering because he didn’t wanted to upset them more

* “no, leave it… I guess it will stop soon”

* also you wanted to know more about this, it was like a tv drama

ZEN

* he is dead nervous

* he wants to do a great impression

* so he wears nice clothes and bought a present for your parents

* “are you sure this is fine? only wine?”

* “Zen, calm down. They are going to love it. Did you thanked Jumin for the suggestion?”

* “yes…”

* you two made your way to your parents house

* they greeted you with happy faces

* of course they were happy to see you

* and happy to finally meet Zen

* “Oh dear, she talk about you every time. Don’t worry, if you are like she described you you will be fine”

* you mother was being nice as always

* your father was a bit more quiet but he was just keeping an eye on Zen

* funny enough they were friends by dinner

* “oh I forgot to mention but your uncle is coming too, he brings the kids”

* “mom, they are not kids anymore. They are older than me”

* “oh, yeah… they are still young to me”

* the food was so good

* and then your mother offered tea to everyone

* and your dad and uncle started talking about their school days

* “you remember that girl? the one we both liked?”

* they started talking about that girl

* your mother didn’t said a single thing

* she was kind of pissed

* and you could swear they were going to fight soon

* but surprise!

* your cousins were the ones fighting

* “HOW COULD YOU DO THAT??”

* “WE WERE DRUNK!”

* “SHE WAS MY GIRL, DUDE”

* “YOU BROKE UP WITH HER!!!”

* you looked at Zen

* his jaw dropped

* he was not expecting this

* but to be honest neither you

* “WE GOT BACK LIKE A WEEK LATER”

* “IS NOT MY FAULT!”

* you couldn’t do nothing but stare

* they were giving a big ass show

* your uncle tried to stop them

* but he couldn’t do much

* “WHY DO YOU CARE? SHE’S WITH OTHER GUY NOW”

* “BUT SHE WAS WITH ME, AND YOU HAD SEX WITH HER!!”

“IT WAS LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO!”

you looked at Zen and his eyes almost popped out of his face

he tried to say something but nothing came

JAEHEE

you two are going to your cousin’s marriage

she’s very happy that you wanted to go with her

and of course the ceremony is beautiful

she tears up a bit

but now the good part starts

the food and the party

what can be better

you are with the most lovely woman eating nice food and about to get drunk

some people are dancing and you are still in the table

some of your aunties come to chat a bit

you haven’t seen them in years

but they are… a bit intense

they love to talk about people

“did you see what she’s wearing?”

“I can’t believe your cousin’s boyfriend”

and suddenly they started talking about one of your aunties and how her husband was cheating on her

you were kind of interested too

but it was still a bad thing to do

“I heard that he’s with a girl way younger”

“and she doesn’t know nothing”

they were pure evil

speaking of that poor woman like she wasn’t part of the family

they were about to say more shit but in a second they both were covered in some red cocktail

you looked at your back and there was the woman

“you want to talk shit on my back? huh?”

Jaehee was about to say something, to calm the situation a bit

but the women started a little fight

nothing serious

but they were saying some shit

“you are always like this, talking and talking but doesn’t do shit”

“oh come on, he’s cheating and yet you are here angry at us”

“at least I had sex, not like you lonely bitch”

all the attempts of Jaehee trying to calm them failed

and at this point she was just like “wow…”

she looked at you trying to find an explanation but you were as speechless as her

you two did nothing but look until some men came to separate them

the rest of the night was fun but you will always look different at your aunties

and Jaehee will always remember how she meet your family

and how… interesting some of them are

JUMIN

he is happy to finally meet the family you always tell stories about

that big and loud family you have

“you have many siblings”

“yes, I do”

he is still impressed on how many siblings you have

he can’t believe how you managed to be with so many people in the same house

but he sure wants to meet them

hearing all those stories about them getting in trouble of fun fights with water

sounds like a family he has to meet

but is hard to get all of them at the same time

they all have different lives now

so he only met your little sister

but nothing about your other 5

but somehow your parents managed to bring them all in the same weekend

“your house must be big”

“not as your house, but we fit perfectly”

he is really having a great time

hearing about you by your older brother’s point of view is something he would treasure for life

and let’s be honest all your older siblings want to meet him

you and your little sister were the babies of the house

so you got the protection fo them all

you older sister is with her boyfriend as well

and they seem a bit distant

but you are more worried about the questions your bothers are making Jumin answer

“Jumin, you don’t have to listen to them”

“But MC, I want to”

“haha see kid, he’s a good one”

you were having the same old conversation with your brother when you heard them

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU”

“no… is nothing like that”

“NOTHING LIKE THAT??? ARE YOU SURE BECAUSE HERE IS THE PROOF”

everyone turned to see what was happening

your sister screaming at her boyfriend

he had a piece of cake on his shirt

and she looked just like that time you broke her favorite skirt when you were younger

but this was serious

“ARE YOU GOING TO STAY THERE AND NOT ADMIT IT??”

“no, please calm down”

“JUST SAY THAT YOU ARE SEEING OTHER GIRLS AND THATS IT”

that turned all the alarms

in a moment he was surrounded by your whole family

your dad and brothers

five big boys looking at him like he was the worst of the worst

and him looking at them like he was begging for his life

the next minutes are really tense

nobody says nothing

and no one moves a muscle

Jumin switches between your eyes and the scene

not knowing what to do

he is a strong man but he doesn’t want to get involve in this

“should we do… something?”

“no… you just…. don’t do nothing”

you know how to handle this

but you are waiting a bit

just to scare that idiot

so you don’t move until one of your bothers push him to the ground

you move fast and step in the middle of them

“Okay… no need of violence here boys”

you sound like this was a normal thing in your house

but only happened once in the past

“you idiot, leave this house and never come close to any of us or you are done. And you boys… just do something else”

SAEYOUNG

he loves fights more than he cares to admit

but as long as they don’t involve him

is a funny thing to watch

drama is his thing

would grab pop corn to see how people fight in front of him

so when he sees that in the family reunion some of your cousins are having an argument he’s the first person to be there

sadly he drags you there too

they are having some sort of fight about this girl

they both liked her

but she was more like a player

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? SHE’S MINE”

“OH THAT IS WHY SHE LET ME KISS HER IN THE PARTY?”

“YOU ARE AN IDIOT”

“YOU ARE THE IDIOT, SHE DOESN’T EVEN LIKE YOU”

Saeyoung looks in heaven

and you are just bored

somehow they start talking normal again

but the boy beside you has other plans

“so you are letting him take your girl?”

and boom

they start again

“Saeyoung!! why?”

“I love this drama, I want to know more”

they say more and more things

not nice things

until one of them punch the other

they start a real fight now

all your family is there now trying to stop them

but it doesn’t seem to work

they are really pissed

“This is your fault… you stop them”

“Umm… how? I mean… wow I didn’t thought they were going to….sorry”

SAERAN

it took him a couple times to feel comfortable at your house

your parents were always so good with him

but he was a bit cold at start

now he’s like their son

but this time your uncle and auntie are coming

he doesn’t feel bad at all

because how bad they can be if they are related to you

also your parents proved how good they are

maybe they were the same

and at start it seemed like that

nice talk

and funny laughs

but as the day passed

things got a bit intense

your uncle was a bit drunk

and he was talking no sense

and suddenly he shouter other girls name

your auntie of course asked him about it

but he was like “ahh you don’t need to know”

“I NEED TO, I AM YOUR WIFE”

there was no way to stop your auntie

she was angry

and he was drunk

“SHUT UP AND LET ME DRINK”

“YOU ARE NOT DRINKING MORE, NOW TELL ME”

Saeran was a bit… shocked

of course that is something you never expect

they continued with the screams

your parents stopped they efforts on trying to stop them

“IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU DOESN’T LOVE ME”

“WELL YOU IDIOT IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU ARE AN IDIOT THAT IS CHEATING”

Saeran was getting a bit tense by the situation

so you took him to other room

“is okay to let them fight?”

“yeah… they will end soon and leave”

“oh…that is… sad”

he was really concerned about them

and the whole situation made him feel sad too

but your parents entered the room too

“Maybe we can go eat something outside… they will be like that for a moment”

your dad had the best idea

and that made Saeran feel way better

Okay… sorry because 1) the first ones have that… that thing, I write those two in my notes and ended like that and 2) because the last two are really short and bad :(

#mystic messenger #mm #mysme #mystic messenger hc #mystic messenger headcanon #au #imagine #yoosung #jaehee #zen #jumin #saeyoung #saeran #choi

260 notes · View notes

amovement-study · 6 years ago

Text

Woolgathering

August 5th 2018

Themes: LGBTQ+ Dreams

A/N: I don’t feel like this piece conveys the emotion I wanted to put into it, but in a way I think that’s the point of the story in the first place. I wrote this because of a dream, and then it took on a shape of its own.

It wasn’t a bad idea at the time. Something about the red ink on a price tag seduced her into picking up the last box on the shelf. The sense of urgency and excitement quickly faded shortly after during the car ride home. Afterward, the box was left alone to the farther end of her kitchens fake granite countertop.

Once during a usual Friday night, Ophella decided to remove the device from the box. Sometimes the best distractions from perceived noise and heightened senses were anything that would remove her eyes from the screen. The episode of The Twilight Zone that night hadn’t convinced her that aliens would invade the one bedroom apartment, but it did leave her mind tickled by the possibility.

A button and a pair of headgear that resembled a scuba mask are what she paid a steep price of eighty dollars with money she could have used on something more useful like milk or tennis shoes. The machine and all its warning pamphlets were haphazardly tucked back into their box and left untouched for another three months.

“We can try it but I’m not really all that tired right now-” Shelani said. She bowed her head making her brown eyes appear larger and quieter than they actually were. Ophella flips her phone over to check the time and nods. Neither women really went to sleep till the youngest hours of the next day. On weekends like this, they would sit quietly in the living room browsing the internet or watching their individual shows until sleep begged for them. Tonight would have been no different if it wasn’t for the undeposited paycheck in her purse leaving all subscriptions on hold for the time being. Tonight they would have to entertain themselves.

“I’m not tired either. We have melatonin though.” The tablets were bought a full year ago to help with adjusting to the time difference between Seattle and Portland. After the hasty move, the apartments empty spaces and purring boiler room next door would leave her eyes constantly shifting. It almost amused her how living alone birthed a feeling of constant company.

Shelani’s lips stretched into a puffy mauve line. Ophella waited for her suggestion to shake hands with gently put rejection or a well-placed silence. Perhaps it had been too perverse an idea. Ophella curls herself into an apology.

“OK, but me first. On you I mean-” Shelani clarified. Her arm is thrown around Ophella’s wide shoulders. Their cheeks rub against each other and their mixing hair crunched in both their ears. The sensation brings up memories of brown butter hissing in a hot pan.

Two plastic blue cups are taken down from the cabinets with a bit of effort. Luckily some sweet tea remained from their pizza delivery earlier. Two purple tablets are scratched out of their foil wrappings and popped into Ophella’s mouth. She swallowed them dry before remembering to take a sip of her drink.

From where she stood she watched as Shelani worked her short sable hair into a hairband found on the floor. The box is flicked open and the headgear pulled out and over the woman’s oblong head. Blindly her long fingers paw at the air. They laughed together.

“Aren’t you afraid of seeing something weird? Like we can’t come back from this kind of weird. Dreams can be really fucked up you know-” Not that Shelani had any particular concerns in mind. Most nights were dreamless. For a few moments or so she would simply fall out of existence and back into it again. Occasionally the odd dream or so would occur, but they weren’t much to remember or enjoy. In most, she was doing painfully unfantastic things like texting or going to work. She had come to envy those who could live again through dreaming.

“I’m not afraid. It’s not like we have to talk about what we see if we see anything,” Ophella answered. Agreeing to not speak about it seemed like the safest option when concerning things as sensitive as dreams and the sort. Her offer caused Shelani to smile the type of smile she makes when she’s getting ready to make a joke. Ophella is already offended before she speaks.

“Shut up and drink your tea.” The cup is pressed to Shelani’s lips and she drinks down the sweet liquid eagerly. Then Ophella is pulled down so that her stocky legs straddled Shelani’s. The cream color of the carpet created perfect outlines of both their brown skin but burned their thighs and knees. Neither moved much as Shelani emptied her cup and rolls it away till it clinks against the balcony door. As the silence sets in between them again, Ophella feels Shelani’s forearms come to rest against her hips. With the headgear still on its hard to tell if any type of eye-contact could be established between the two. Ophella put her hands somewhere friendly and willed herself to fight the need to announce that she wasn’t yet sleepy. Things happened in silence even if it’s more itchy than tense.

Shelani’s fingers walked themselves up her sides, rest once at her waist, tap dance on her shoulders, and come to rest on the sharpest point of her cheeks. Feeling the need to recuperate Ophella toys with Shelani’s feathery hair. Moments like this between them were rare yet fleeting. Whenever they ended Ophella always felt like she had inhaled too soon and drowned.

Months prior the two held hands and linked their foreheads together as they talked about the stranger sides of life-the unwanted memories and missed connections. They talked till they cried and smiled so often their jaws turned to elderly rubber bands. That night something between them intertwined along with their legs. Shelani did something out of ordinary then. She called Ophella something that left the taste of honey on her tongue and a sense of importance in her throat. ‘You’re my favorite’ she had said before pressing their noses together till their cupid bows met. Something about the word favorite did something. More platonic than ‘darling’, yet more regal than ‘ closest friend’. That encounter left a fluttering butterfly in Ophella’s chest.

“Are you tired yet?” Shelani cut in. She then yawned and removes the headset finally so that she could lay back against the floor and stretch her arms and crack her knuckles.

“No, but it looks like you better let me take your turn if you’re just going to fall asleep before I do,” Ophella laughed. Her weight comes down more comfortably until she feels the hard bones of Shelani’s hips press into her bottom. Several seconds later both shift so that they were lying side by side. The anticipation for Shelani to say or do anything unlike herself slowly starts to overwhelm her favorite friend. Anything. Anything.

“Take your turn first then. I’ll get mine in after a nap if you don’t mind too much.” The woman stretched again till her body clicks like a pen. She rolled onto her back, crossed her legs so that the hems of her pink socks lined up, and closed her eyes.

Ophella reached for the stiff instructions manual and decided that the best time to give it a look through would be now as Shelani edged closer to sleep. At first, she found herself squinting at the translated side of the instructions as if doing so would suddenly bring back three years of high school French. In English the manual reads ‘Woolgatherer: Visual REM Sleep Aid.’ It went on to use words like ‘miraculous’ and ‘simply’ and all other words that would have made her believe her purchase was nothing more than a scam if she hadn’t seen it work before.

On a whim last Christmas she and some friends traveled several thousand miles west to the coast of California. Along the sand caked docks she alone had come across a small booth offering tarot card reading and dream interpretation. She, of course, chose the latter. A pruned Asian woman dressed in emerald sat her down and offered her hot water to help calm her nerves. She found it strange then, but perhaps she was nervous to hear what her dreams would reveal about her to the stranger.

The session only lasted ten or so minutes if you don’t count the extra six it took for Ophella to relax enough to allow the woman access to her thoughts. They exchanged a few words on why Ophella daydreamed herself as a spider or a rat before the results were made clear. She said-‘You are senselessly fearful. You long for nothing short of everything’. How she got that from Ophella’s eight-eyed persona is beyond her still.

She was not fearful. In fact, she could be quite brave when she decided to be. She could dance in public if the music was good, she could hold her own against strangers if it came down to it. In college, she could walk past three men on the street with her head upturned and not feel her stomach sink to her pelvic floor. In January the power had gone out in the middle of the night, yet she braved the darkness till dawn gave enough light for her to find the fuse box.

A short-lived snore then erupted from Shelani’s long frame. She always snored but never too loudly and never for too long. When they would spend their nights together like this Ophella would sometimes wait for the snoring of her friend before browsing the internet for trashy stories to read. When the snoring came along there was no sudden noise or microwave loud enough to wake Shelani up.

The button is lovingly placed on her forehead and sticks to the warm skin. It flashes blue as it silently connects itself to the woman’s innermost thoughts. Her thin lashes danced when Shelani’s eyes began to move behind the lid. Ophella wondered then if dreaming is more like looking at something behind your lids that no one else could see. The buttons light flashes green to indicate that now was the best time to peek into her friends subconscious.

At first, nothing could be seen but static and floating black and red specs and it looks like she’s dunked her head in a seasoned soup of some kind. Then the specs stretched and grabbed hold of one another until images start to tear through the nothingness and form a single picture. The dream itself was a small and somewhat distant thing at first. Gradually it expanded forcing shapes and bodies to come into focus. From where she sat she could now see what appeared to be Shelani brushing her hair in the mirror.

The image looked like Shelani enough, though some parts of her body were smeared outside the lines like a child’s drawing. Occasionally her face would transcend comprehension and blur into something else entirely. Her movements were fluid and lacked any real thought or effort it seemed. Shelani turned after a few more passes through her hair.

Ophella watched as the vanity in Shelani’s old room stirs itself into the walls around them. If she wasn’t gripping the short wool of the carpet she would easily mistake the world around her as unstable and changing. Now Shelani stood outside her workplace speaking to seemingly no one. Unfortunately, dreams could only be seen and not heard. Her lips moved like a mannequin’s in straight chattering motions. The dream faded into nothing again.

This repeated itself throughout the night. From the couch, Ophella watched Shelani dream herself out of her twenties and into the arms of pruned old women who looked like the dried figs they’d eat together during the summer. Sometimes the settings would change with every flick of Shelani’s pink tongue. One second they would be in the stockroom of a retail store, and in the next behind a pizzeria sharing oily pepperoni with ugly pigeons.

An hour or so later Ophella could feel the pressure of the headset start to pain her temples. Her fingers slipped beneath the elastic bands to rub comfort into her skin and eyes-it didn’t help much. She rocked herself on her heels hoping to keep awake long enough to see another dream. Four in the morning turned her eyelids to weighted windows. Time slipped from her minutes at a time.

A subtle champagne graced her eyes the next time they willed themselves open. This will be the last one before she sleeps she decided. In view, bare shoulders covered in golden dew rolled themselves in slow restricted circles. The world took on a satin finish filled with a grain and noise. One pair of shoulders became two. Ophella pinched each of her fingers.

One pair of shoulders became a twisting torso with raindrops bouncing off the breasts but not wetting the canopy bed they recline on. That hopeful feeling came back. Lightning flashed behind the headboard. One head dipped back leaving the bumps of a neck exposed. Lips parted. Two mix-matched hips ground into each other as if between them were grain to make flour. Wide shoulders push back displacing rain-soaked coiled hair. Ophella gorged herself on the similarities. Knees coaxed themselves apart as a hand slipped down her shorts.

It is noted how Shelani smiled when she liked something and how her eyes closed when the other woman sucked water off her thighs. It is noted how she whispered love with bent toes and blood milked fingers. It is noted that when the other woman lifted her head her face was nothing like Ophella’s. Not hers.

Disgusted by her entrancement, but already lost to the motions of her own actions, Ophella’s body curled into itself.

#to edit later #rough draft

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justpeachy--keen · 7 years ago

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Excerpts from the Diary of Daisy Juliet O’Hara

Dated: October 21, 2016 - August 11, 2017

[tw - talk of noncon kissing (pretty tame) and murder (also pretty tame)

October 21, 2016 Dear Diary,

Can you take back a first kiss? I want to. I think I’m going to, because mine was gross. That’s because Devon is gross. I don’t know why I let him kiss me. Well, I didn’t really let him. He just kind of did it! It was there and over so fast I didn’t know what to do. I don’t even remember anything about it. What did it feel like? I dunno. What did it taste like? Ugh, that awful vodka stuff.

*Note One: does all vodka taste that awful? Why do grown ups drink it? Especially if it makes you do stupid things like kiss your sister!!

It was even more dumb because he yelled at me afterwards for pushing him. He was all: “Daisy!! What was that for?!” And then Mark sided with him, saying I shouldn’t have pushed him in the first place and that they were just messing around. Boys are so dumb.

Anyway, I feel much better now that I have decided to pretend it didn’t happen. That means when I get my real first kiss with Malik, it will be amazing. Maybe my foot will even do that pop thing like Mia talks about in Princess Diaries! That would be super cool. Then I’ll know it is my first real kiss.

*Note Two: Ask Malik if he wants to go see the Great Gilly Tompkins this weekend!

That’s all for now. Hopefully I’ll have something more interesting to report tomorrow when I hear back from Malik.

Adios! Daisy Juliet O’Hara

December 25, 2016 Dear Dairy,

I love Christmas, don’t get me wrong. BUT THIS MORNING!!! Oh, I could’ve killed Veronica. She came into my room and started bouncing on my bed at like 7 in the morning! What is the point of having my own bedroom if people just barge into it all the time? I was sooooo annoyed and I yelled at her and then I made her cry and then Mark yelled at me and Angelica and Thomas weren’t even awake yet.

But, oh well! The rest of the day was really fun.

Angelica and Thomas (or “Santa Claus” as they still pretend since Veronica and Rachel are still babies who believe in that kind of stuff) gave me a new computer! It doesn’t have internet access, but that’s okay because I don’t really #surftheweb anyway. I’ve got my phone for that.

*Note One: do Angelica and Thomas even know I have internet on my phone? Best not to mention it, just in case. What would I do without Instagram?!

My laptop was really my only gift because it was soooo expensive, but that is okay because it is all I really wanted anyway!

I gave everyone stories, you wanna know what they were about?

Well, Angelica got a story about a lady that couldn’t have kids adopting a bunch with all these special abilities and then one day this bad guy comes along and all her kids like totally protect her from the bad guy. It was really cool, it made her cry.

Thomas got a story about this guy who just made all these wood carvings and they were like so good that they came to life and started wreaking havoc in the town! He told me it was really creative and funny.

Mark got a story about a jock who secretly loves theatre a la HSM—he didn’t like it but that’s just because I exposed his secret. But!! Angelica thought it was really cool he wanted to start a band that, like, specifically toured around at old folks home and like—hospitals. I think that sounds really dumb and boring but he is a good singer.

Devon got a superhero story, it was pretty cliché but I got to work on my action scenes, which is important. So, that’s good. He liked it. Kissed my cheek for it.

Rachel got a story about a girl who finds out she’s a princess but her family was like—banished and everyone had died but her and she had to reclaim the throne. It was super cool because I made sure the girl was like a bad ass and like knew kung fu.

Veronica got a story about dogs. I’m not really good at anthropomorphic stuff and it wasn’t my favorite, but I think she liked it! I made sure the main dog was her favourite kind, even though I think that bull terriers are really funny looking.

Okay!! I’m getting called down for supper!

Adios! Daisy Juliet O’Hara

January 23, 2016 Dear Diary,

Today, someone moved in two houses down and on the other side of the street. Angelica brought him coffee cake, but she told Thomas that he was really weird. She didn’t think I was listening, but I was. Sometimes I sit with my headphones in and not playing so that I can hear what people are saying and they think I’m not.

This is how I found out Mrs. Howell was cheating on her husband with the Geometry teacher. Ohmigosh that was so funny. Her husband still doesn’t know but I’m not going to be the one to tell him, of course. Though, most of the school knows by now. That’s not my fault. I only told Malik and Patrick and Melanie and James and Marta, it’s up to them who they tell. Not me.

Anyway, I think I’m curious, so I’m gonna go investigate tomorrow.

Adios! Daisy Juliet O’Hara

February 5, 2017 Dear Diary,

Woooooooooooow, okay, so I was supppppper busy these last few days (which is why I haven’t written in you!) and I’m super sorry about that. But! This girl went missing from down the street. She was like my age-ish. I think she was 18? Her name was Sally and she was super cool, like—she dyed her hair funky colours and she invited these men who had like beards or like, wore suits, over allllll the time when her parents weren’t home and she smoked weed too.

I think she ran off with some man. I told Angelica and Thomas this and they sent me to my room for joking around, but I’m not!! I really think she did. Sometimes her parents got in really nasty fights and then she would leave to go stay at her friend’s house.

She’s not there, though, so that means that she just ran away. Seems pretty simple to me. The police are so stupid.

Adios! Daisy Juliet O’Hara

March 25, 2017 Dear Diary,

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SWEET SIXTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’M PRACTICALLY AN ADULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh, I had such a good day!! Having your birthday on a weekend is like soooooo much better than having your birthday during the week. I didn’t have to worry about homework or anything like that! All my friends were free and we went to the Australian zoo which was just sooo cool. Oh my gosh, we tried to steal this adorable baby goat from the petting zoo and we got so close too, I’m so mad! It’s all Marta’s fault, she started laughing and broke my concentration and I dropped the invisibility around the goat in the middle of the parking lot!!

Everyone saw it. I was so mad at her. But, well, I dunno what I would do with a baby goat anyway. I just thought it was super cute and if I could get it for free, well! Why not?

The zoo keepers were pretty mad and so were my foster parents but I think it’s going to be okay. They gave me a pass since it is my birthday and they’re not going to ground me so that’s really cool of them. Thomas said something along the lines of “gosh, I can’t imagine what she’s going to do for her eighteenth birthday!”

And I said: “I don’t know either! But it’s gonna be GREAT!”

They started laughing at me. I dunno why but I could tell they just thought it was funny. Angelica shook her head at me but Thomas gave me a big kiss on top of my head.

I kinda hope they adopt me before then. I love them a lot.

Adios, Daisy Juliet O’Hara

May 9, 2017

The girl sat on a bench in the quad at her high school. It was lunch time and she was very nervous. Not because of lunch, but because of the boy walking towards her. She had put her make up on very carefully today, and she had had her outfit picked out for like a whole week. It was a pair of black jeans and bright pink and yellow trainers, her shirt was a soft yellow, not too obnoxious, and frilly—a spaghetti strap, and she was wearing a cool leather jacket over it because it was a little breezy (she was glad she put her hair in a ponytail.)

The boy sat down next to her and gave her a hug. “Hey, Daisy Rose! You look nice!”

“So do you,” she complimented.

And he did. He was wearing a leather jacket too, and he looked even cooler in it than she did. He’d styled his jet black hair and he kind of looked like a person from that movie Greece that Angelica Amy liked to watch sometimes.

“Thanks!” he said. “So, uhhhh—Patrick Peter told me that Marta Martha told him that James John said that you’d told him in first period you wanted to talk to me?”

“Oh, yeah!” Rose said, “I was wondering if you wanted to be my boyfriend?”

“Ohmygosh! I thought you’d never ask me,” Malik Waseem exclaimed and leaned in to kiss her. They totally made out with tongue and everyone in the cafeteria clapped.

*Note One: that’s not what happened. Apparently, Malik has been dating Melanie for like two months and he didn’t tell any of us until today.

Adios, Daisy Juliet O’Hara

August 11, 2017 Dear Diary,

They found Sally from up the street’s body today.

Someone murdered her but no one can figure out how. She was just—dead. There were like no stab wounds or bruises or anything. Her eyes were like—wide open? Have you ever seen a dead person’s eyes before? It’s super creepy. They just—stare at you but like you can tell nothing is there and that they are dead.

I probably shouldn’t have snuck up to the crime scene but it was like right by our house and in my defense I didn’t know that was what it was. I just saw the cop cars.

No one knows who killed her but I guess she didn’t run away after all.

Adios, Daisy Juliet O’Hara

#bdrplabors #self para #peach writes #this makes me wanna write #a whole book like this lol

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ouranshighschoolhosts · 8 years ago

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You Tell Them To Fight You~

“FIGHT ME!!!!!!~”

~~~

Tamaki: You were at home, relaxing, enjoying the weekend away from school. In all honestly, you missed school. For only one reason though! School was the only place where you got to see your boyfriend, Tamaki. You were missing him, and today was only Saturday! But, you could wait, you supposed, after all, isn’t that exactly what movies and the internet were made for?

You heard your front door opening, which interrupted your thoughts seeing as you lived alone, and you were over half way sure you had locked that door. You remembered that you had left your phone in the living room, where whoever had just broken in was, so you had to make do with what you had around you. Carefully, so as not to make a sound, you grabbed the closest item to you, which just so happened to be a rubber spatula you had used to make cupcakes, and you started slowly advancing to the living room from the kitchen. When you reached the wall that separated the two rooms, you paused, listening to see if whoever it was had left. In response to your silent question, you heard the books fall off your coffee table.

Taking a deep breath, you jumped around the corner, holding your vicious weapon out in front of you and slamming your eyes shut, you shouted with all your might, “I AM ARMED AND PREPARED! FIGHT ME ROBBER MAN I’M READY!!!!!” You stood, rigid, awaiting a reply. A shocked silence was your only response. Then, all of a sudden, you heard a snort, and beautiful laughter (that you had never been do happy to hear) rang out. You opened your eyes, and saw only Tamaki. You blushed deeply, realizing just how stupid that had seemed.

You hid the spatula behind your back, and casually addressed the currently dying Tamaki, “Oh hey Tamaki! What brings you here? Also, how did you get in?” After he finished laughing, he sat up from his newfound position on the floor. “I simply wanted to surprise you (y/n), you told me about the key under your doormat, so I figured I’d come and say hi. I missed you!” You smiled at him, and helped him up. He was such a mind reader, he always knew how when you needed him. You brought him to the kitchen to give him some cupcakes you had made, and were promptly lectured on how unsafe it was to try and face a robber like that.

Kyoya: People often said you and Kyoya were a perfect couple. You two were very similar in many ways, one of the major comparisons being your equal love of sleep. Although you tended to be a night owl, as he did, you took more naps to make up for the lack of sleep at night, which Kyoya only sometimes participated in. This was not one of the times he napped with you. You were lying asleep on the couch behind him, as he sat on the floor finishing up some work for one of his more difficult classes.

Kyoya gently slammed his laptop shut, glad to be done with that time consuming and fairly pointless assignment. He glanced up at the clock to see that nearly an hour and a half had passed since you had fallen asleep and left him to work alone. He figured that that was a long enough nap, unless you wanted to be up all night that is. So, being the caring and slightly spiteful boyfriend he was, he reached up onto the couch from his position on the floor, and shook you firmly.

You smashed your face into the pillow in response, and mumbled something unintelligible. “What was that?” he asked you, slightly amused. You turned your head so that you were facing him, and, with your eyes still closed, you said in a crystal clear voice, “Fight me Ootori.” Letting out a short laugh, he stood up and promptly pushed you to the floor. You groaned loudly in protest “Get up (L/n), you’ve been asleep for an hour and a half. If you get up now, I’ll let you sleep in tomorrow.” With that, you were up. “I hate you Kyoya.” He smirked. “Love you too (y/n).”

Hikaru: You had spent the night at the Hitachiin estate, and boy did you regret it now. All you had wanted, was some quality time with your boyfriend, and this is what you got? You were currently standing in the middle of the hallway with red paint covering you from head to toe. Your favorite pajamas were ruined, and you were livid.

You heard snickering from the other end of the hallway, and you looked up sharply to see a familiar mop of ginger hair. Why did you love this dork? That question was currently pending response. “Hikaru!” You shouted down the hallway sharply. Luckily for him, the second he made eye contact with you, he had the sense to run for his life. You sprinted down the hallway after him, shouting “Get back over here and fight me like a man!” to the sound of Kaoru’s laughter.

Eventually you caught him, and you made sure to make every inch of him just as red as you were.

Kaoru: You were bored. Bored! There was nothing to do here! Kaoru had already given up on any form of entertainment from the living room and had gone up to his room. You were about to join him, but you wanted to enjoy how soft his carpet was for just a few more moments.

With that taken care of, you made your way upstairs after him. You found him laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. He hadn’t noticed you yet, so you took advantage of the situation and made your way to him sneakily, not making a sound. He didn’t notice the other presence in his room until you jumped onto him, and shouted “Fight me~”, giving him a heart attack. You laughed when he screamed, causing him to realize it was just you and laugh with you. He shoved one of his pillows into your face, and a pillow fight ensued.

You were no longer bored~

Honey: “(Y/n)!!!~” You smiled as you heard that familiar voice whining for you. You were in the kitchen, taking your time with the one thing he had asked for. You were feeling particularly evil today. You finally made it to the dining room with his cake, and the second he saw you, he cheered, eliciting a small, fond smile from you. You made your way to him, carrying the cake and humming something akin to a funeral march. He looked up at you, confused, when you reached him. “Why were you doing that song (y/n)-chan?” You shrugged your shoulders merrily. “I don’t know Honey, no particular reason. It just felt... right.”

He giggled at your antics, and asked for the cake you had “forgotten” about. “Oh, this cake?” He nodded merrily. “Fight me for it~” His eyes widened in confusion and slight amusement. In less than a second, you were pinned to the floor by a happy Honey, while the cake was safely on the table, unharmed by your antics. “I win~” The two of you laughed, then, after a moment of just enjoying each other’s proximity, got up and shared the cake.

Mori: You were finishing your makeup, just putting the final touches on your blush, when Mori came in to check on you. In his defense, you had been in there for a while, but in your defense, you were meeting his family, and you were extremely nervous. You were taking your nerves out on your poor face. He saw you aggressively applying the blush to your cheeks, and noted your nerves, so he took it upon himself to make you feel better.

You were surprised when he appeared behind you like a shadow. You jumped slightly, but then smiled up at him, refusing to let him see your nerves. “What’s up Takashi?” He simply placed his arm to rest on top of your head, fully taking advantage of the height difference. “Are you ready?” You simply raised your eyebrows, and recapped the lipstick you had just uncapped. “Are you implying, that I’m short?” He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. “Me? never.” You narrowed your eyes at him, then pushed his arm off of your head. He simply put it back. “I’m not short!” He simply nodded.

“Oh fight me mister! I’ll have you know I am only two inches shorter than the average height for someone my age and-” He lifted you up, interrupting your ramblings and setting you on the counter, so that you were eye to eye. Your jaw dropped. “Did you just...?” He simply nodded again. That finally broke you. Nerves forgotten, you doubled over in laughter, causing him to smile in response.

Mission accomplished.

Haruhi: Spring cleaning time had come once again... joy. It had been fun at first, cleaning Haruhi’s house with her, playing around, but as the day had worn on, the both of you had gotten over it. So that takes brings you to now, trying desperately to finish the bathroom, as it was the last room of the house. Haruhi was in the kitchen, making food for when you were done cleaning the mirrors. You just had one more mirror to go, then you would be done, and the two of you could watch a movie together and eat whatever Haruhi was making.

As if someone had summoned her, Haruhi popped her head into the bathroom. “Hey (y/n)! I finished... the...” You looked away from the mirror, confused at her faltering. The look on her face had you looking back at the mirrors in confusion. It was then you realized, that you had used the toilet scrub on the mirrors. “Hey uhm, (y/n)?” “I noticed Haru. And you know what? Fight me on it. I’ll have you know it’s a new and improved was of cleaning the mirrors.” “With the wrong soap.” She oh so helpfully pointed out. You groaned and put your head in your hands. “I was so close to being done...” you whined. Smiling lightly, Haruhi grabbed your hands, and pulled you to the couch. “I think we’re done cleaning for today.” You apologized, but she brushed it off. You two sat on the couch and watched movies until you had to go home so you could sleep

After you had left, Haruhi fixed the mirrors.

I seem to have gotten carried away with Tamaki’s section... oh well! But honestly, I say this way too much. I hope you enjoy!! Feel free to send in any requests you may have!! Sincerely,

Ashes~ <3

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latrang-blog · 7 years ago

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Look, I know you think the fact you feel upset or angry or anxious is important. That it matters. Hell, you probably think that because you feel like your face just got shat on makes you important. But it doesn’t. Feelings are just these… things that happen. The meaning we build around them–what we decide is important or unimportant–comes later.

There are only two reasons to do anything in life: a) because it feels good, or b) because it’s something you believe to be good or right. Sometimes these two reasons align. Something feels good AND is the right thing to do and that’s just fucking fantastic. Let’s throw a party and eat cake.

But more often, these two things don’t align. Something feels shitty but is right/good (getting up at 5AM and going to the gym, hanging out with grandma Joanie for an afternoon and making sure she’s still breathing), or something feels fucking great but is the bad/wrong thing to do (pretty much anything involving penises).

Acting based on our feelings is easy. You feel it. Then you do it. It’s like scratching an itch. There’s a sense of relief and cessation that comes along with it. It’s a quick satisfaction. But then that satisfaction is gone just as quickly as it came.

Acting based on what’s good/right is difficult. For one, knowing what is good/right is not always clear.1 You often have to sit down and think hard about it. Often we have to feel ambivalent about our conclusions or fight through our lower impulses.

But when we do what’s good/right, the positive effects last much longer. We feel pride remembering it years later. We tell our friends and family about it and give ourselves cute little awards and put shit on our office walls and say, “Hey! I did that!” when our co-workers come in and ask why we have a trophy with a goat catching a frisbee on our bookshelf (don’t ask).

The point is: doing what is good/right builds self-esteem and adds meaning to our lives.

YOUR TRICKY BRAIN

So we should just ignore our feelings and just do what is good/right all the time then, right? It’s simple.

Well, like many things in life, it is simple. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy.

The problem is that the brain doesn’t like to feel conflicted about its decision making. It doesn’t like uncertainty or ambiguity and will do mental acrobatics to avoid any discomfort. And our brain’s favorite way to do this is to always try to convince itself that whatever feels good is the same as what is good/right.

So you know you shouldn’t eat that ice cream. But your brain says, “Hey, you had a hard day, a little bit won’t kill ya.” And you’re like, “Hey, you’re right! Thanks, brain!” What feels good suddenly feels right. And then you shamelessly inhale a pint of Cherry Garcia.

You know you shouldn’t cheat on your exam, but your brain says, “You’re working two jobs to put yourself through college, unlike these spoiled brats in your class. You deserve a little boost from time-to-time,” and so you sneak a peek at your classmate’s answers and voila, what feels good is also what feels right.

You know you should vote, but you tell yourself that the system is corrupt, and besides, your vote won’t matter anyway. And so you stay home and play with your new drone that’s probably illegal to fly in your neighborhood. But fuck it, who cares? This is America and the whole point is to get fat doing whatever you want. That’s like, the sixth amendment, or something.2

If you do this sort of thing long enough–if you convince yourself that what feels good is the same as what is good–then your brain will actually start to mix the two up. Your brain will start thinking the whole point of life is to just feel really awesome, as often as possible.

And once this happens, you’ll start deluding yourself into believing that your feelings actually matter. And once that happens, well…

Now, if this is rubbing you the wrong way right now, just think about it for a second. Everything that’s screwed up in your life, chances are it got that way because you were too beholden to your feelings. You were too impulsive. Or too self-righteous and thought yourself the center of the universe. Feelings have a way of doing that, you know? They make you think you’re the center of the universe. And I hate to be the one to tell you, but you’re not.

A lot of young people hate hearing this because they grew up with parents who worshipped their feelings as children, and protected those feelings, and tried to buy as many candy corns and swimming lessons as necessary to make sure those feelings were nice and fuzzy and protected at all times.

Sadly, these parents probably did this because they were also beholden to their own feelings, because they were unable to tolerate the pain of watching a child struggle, even if just for a moment. They didn’t realize that children need some controlled measure of adversity to develop cognitively and emotionally, that experiencing failure is actually what sets us up for success, and that demanding to feel good all the time is pretty much a first-class ticket to having no friends once you hit adulthood.

This is the problem with organizing your life around feelings:

Your feelings are self-contained. They are wholly and solely experienced only by you. Your feelings can’t tell you what’s best for your mother or your career or your neighbor’s dog. They can’t tell you what’s best for the environment. Or what’s best for the next parliament of Lithuania. All they can do is tell you what’s best for you… and even that is debatable.

Your feelings are temporary. They only exist in the moment they arise. Your feelings cannot tell you what will be good for you in a week or a year or 20 years. They can’t tell you what was best for you when you were a kid or what you should have studied in school. All they can do is tell you what is best for you now… and even that is debatable.Your feelings are inaccurate. Ever been talking to a friend and thought you heard them say this horrible mean thing and start to get upset and then it turned out your friend didn’t say that horrible, mean thing at all, you just heard it wrong? Or ever get really jealous or upset with somebody close to you for a completely imagined reason? Like their phone dies and you start thinking they hate you and never liked you and were just using you for your Boy George tickets? Or ever been really excited to pursue something you thought was going to make you into a big bad ass but then later realized that it was all just an ego trip, and you pissed off a lot of people you cared about along the way? Feelings kind of suck at the whole truth thing. And that’s a problem.

WHY IT’S HARD TO GET OVER YOUR OWN FEELINGSNow, none of what I’m saying is really that surprising or new. In fact, you’ve probably tried to get over some of your own obnoxious feelings and impulses before and failed to do it.The problem is when you start trying to control your own emotions, the emotions multiply. It’s like trying to exterminate rabbits. The fuckers just keep popping up all over the place.

This is because we don’t just have feelings about our experiences, we also have feelings about our feelings. I call these “meta-feelings” and they pretty much ruin everything.There are four types of meta-feelings: feeling bad about feeling bad (self-loathing), feeling bad about feeling good (guilt), feeling good about feeling bad (self-righteousness), and feeling good about feeling good (ego/narcissism).

Meta-feelings are part of the stories we tell ourselves about our feelings. They make us feel justified in our jealousy. They applaud us for our pride. They shove our faces in our own pain.They’re basically the sense of what is justified/not justified. They’re our own acceptance of how we should respond emotionally and how we shouldn’t.But emotions don’t respond to shoulds. Emotions suck, remember?And so instead, these meta-feelings have the tendency to rip us apart inside, even further.If you always feel good about feeling good, you will become self-absorbed and feel entitled to those around you. If feeling good makes you feel bad about yourself, then you’ll become this walking, talking pile of guilt and shame, feeling as though you deserve nothing, have earned nothing, and have nothing of value to offer to the people or the world around you.And then there are those who feel bad about feeling bad. These “positive thinkers” will live in fear that any amount of suffering indicates that something must be sorely wrong with them. This is the Feedback Loop from Hell that many of us are thrust into by our culture, our family and the self-help industry at large.But perhaps the worst meta-feeling is increasingly the most common: feeling good about feeling bad. People who feel good about feeling bad get to enjoy a certain righteous indignation. They feel morally superior in their suffering, that they are somehow martyrs in a cruel world. These self-aggrandizing victimhood trend-followers are the ones who want to shit on someone’s life on the internet, who want to march and throw shit at politicians or businessmen or celebrities who are merely doing their best in a hard, complex world.Much of the social strife that we’re experiencing today is the result of these meta-feelings. Moralizing mobs on both the political right and left see themselves as victimized and somehow special in every miniscule pain or setback they experience. Greed skyrockets while the rich congratulate themselves on being rich in tandem with the increasing rates of anxiety and depression as the lower and middle classes hate themselves for feeling left behind.These narratives are spun not only by ourselves but fed by the narratives invented in the media. Right-wing talk show hosts stoke the flames of self-righteousness, creating an addiction to irrational fears that people’s society is crumbling around them. Political memes on the left create the same self-righteousness, but instead of appealing to fear, they appeal to intellect and arrogance. Consumer culture pushes you to make decisions based on feeling great and then congratulates you for those decisions, while our religions tell us to feel bad about how bad we feel.CONTROL MEANING, NOT EMOTIONSTo unspin these stories we must come back to a simple truth: feelings don’t necessarily mean anything. They merely mean whatever you allow them to mean.Maybe I’m sad today. Maybe there are eight different reasons I can be sad today. Maybe some of them are important and some of them aren’t. But I get to decide how important those reasons are–whether those reasons state something about my character or whether it’s just one of those sad days.This is the skill that’s perilously missing today: the ability to de-couple meaning from feeling, to decide that just because you feel something, it doesn’t mean life is that something.Fuck your feelings. Sometimes, good things will make you feel bad. Sometimes, bad things will make you feel good. That doesn’t change the fact that they are good/bad. Sometimes, you will feel bad about feeling good about a bad thing and you will feel good about feeling bad about a good thi–you know what? Fuck it. Just fuck feelings.This doesn’t mean you should ignore your feelings. Feelings are important. But they’re important not for the reasons we think they are. We think they’re important because they say something about us, about the world, and about our relationship with it. But they say none of these things. There’s no meaning attached to feelings. Sometimes you hurt for a good reason. Sometimes for a bad reason. And sometimes no reason at all. The hurt itself is neutral. The reason is separate.The point is that you get to decide. And many of us have either forgotten or never realized that fact. But we decide what our pain means. Just as we decide what our successes expose.And more often than not, any answer except one will tear you apart inside. And that answer is: nothing.

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