#mfer really thought everyone felt that way

[boimann]

He just learnt that wanting to spend the rest of your life fighting alongside your close male best friend and keep each other safe while also reveling in the destruction and chaos you cause together and also maybe make out sometimes is not something close platonic friends usually feel for each other :/

[mollyrolls]

hey cupid! ☆ iwaizumi h. x reader

introductions: exceptional gargantuan honored esteemed large gentlemen

warnings: language

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iwaizumi hajime

☆ kinesiology major. its a very small program but he cares about it a lot and does a lot of recruiting to try and make it bigger ☆ is not a big fan of twitter, but he has one to see what his friends are talking about, because they use it more than their group chat. like they literally make plans in a thread and then when iwa doesn't show up they get mad at him. ☆ oikawa has tried countless ways to get them to have matching bios and iwa refuses violently every time, so as payback oikawa tagged him in his bio. iwa gets follow requests constantly. he hates it.

oikawa tooru

☆ came for volleyball, didnt realize he also needed a major to stay in school. he fell victim to one of iwas recruitment pitches and thought "eh why not". so he's a kinesiology major. ☆ hes a micro-celebrity on twitter, not because of his volleyball skills but because he airs out his friends business on a regular basis and people are nosy ☆ sometimes he wishes their group was more cliche, like they had a funny tradition or they did activities and shit. when he feels like that, he tweets about it and gets a ton of likes, and then doesn't care anymore.

bokuto kotaro

☆ he also is at u tokyo for volleyball, but he's a public relations major. he's a charismatic guy, so its going well! (i refuse to accept bokuto being bad at school. its not canon bc i said so). ☆ he's twitter famous for his volleyball skills. he posts highlight reels nearly every day. he had a phase of making them overly edited and having really bad rap behind them, and kuroo locked him in his room until he took it down. ☆ bokuto didn't realize how he felt about akaashi wasn't a normal thing everyone has with their friend/volleyball partner/world until they went to university and akaashi stopped playing. bo had a weird pain in his chest for a week straight and it only got better when akaashi came to visit him. totally normal relationship.

kuroo tetsuro

☆ hes a buisness major if ive ever seen one. probably going to settle on a minor, but its one of those things where he takes the classes he wants and then by fall of senior year he's close enough to completing one and he'll go ham on the requirements for the last semester. ☆ he sends so many dms to the school drama account, fully not realizing its kenma. kenma will then talk to him about it later and kuroo is like "damn, i thought i was the only one who knew that." ☆ these mfers use twitter like its a 9-5. again, iwa hates it.

fun facts!

☆ they are also all roommates, came together because of mutual friends. iwa and oikawa were rooming together, kuroo and bo were too, and then oikawa and bo are on the volleyball team.

☆ these men are a hivemind. someone can send something in all caps and they will all go with it, no questions asked.

☆ the gc name used to be "gentlemen" because they weren't creative enough to come up with a name, then they started adding honorifics. again, because they're a hivemind, they kept going until they reached the word count.

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[hazelcephalopod]

My review of DnD: Honor Among Thieves:

Tl;dr: overall I liked it -I was side eying a lot of the dragon arc. Also, surprisingly- needed more magic. Druids are full casters, Bards are full casters, Paladins are half casters! Did Holga even rage?

Also I fully thought Simon was secretly an artificer actually, for 1/3 of the movie.

For a movie it was good fun. I enjoyed that it didn’t take itself too seriously, and the characters felt like dnd characters yet in a good way? Which is really hard to do without it becoming too campy and while I like camp not everyone does. The story was simple but fitting, because it felt like a dnd campaign. In terms of character and story it was pretty spot on. Except one thing, more bisexuality needed.

Now for the cons (aka DnD nerd nitpicks DnD movie the for #1,000,057th time)-

As a lifeline fan on DnD, both the game and the settings most especially Faerûn -I was introduced to to Faerûn when I was like 8 folkx. My dad played 3.5 and maybe even earlier additions. I have many 3.5 books and have played a little of that edition, 4th, and quite a bit of 5th. I watch so much rpg and dnd specifically actual plays and I criticize them and love them. And criticize the critics. So. Where were the classes? Where was the lore? What is best boy Xenk a Paladin of?? It doesn’t have to be a god, but tbh, imo not having gods is a fucking waste! It’s Faerûn! Faerûn is drowning in gods, sometimes literally! Throw a rock and you’ll unearth some gods bs. Was Mystra, goddess of magic and more importantly bffs/gf/child/it’s very complicated of Elminster “what if I became a woman? And enjoyed it! Again!” Aumar even mentioned? (Yea mfers I read DnD books. And wikis!) (also reminder he is Simons great-great-great(?) grandfather, so the opportunity was there)

Also, I know that Tieflings can be typical skin tones or whatever. However two things 1) why did she have elf ears? Two… damn those parents where whimps she coulda passed for human, or part elven very, very easily. Also I’m sry but total waste to make her look like tiefling Keyleth CR. Give her some weird color, even if it’s just like blue freckles or something. Next-ly , when the soldiers are chasing her I guess I could accept she rolled a nat one. Multiple times. But how did they know she was a she? And why call her a “wild shape” and not a “Druid”. Bc calling her a wild shape, like shouting “Wild shape!” While chasing her? it… it Was. A bit. Weird. Moving oon…

More egregious was the strange lack of magic, when there’s was also so much magic. Half of Simons spells are from strange little objects, which is why I thought he might be a secret artificier or maybe multiclassed. For a minute I thought he was an eldritch trickster! However that’s relatively minor -actually I was a little disappointed he wasn’t an artificer, because they are cool and I love strange little magic devices and trinkets. Which, in comparison to no one else using magic except to become trademark animals and many non trademarked ones. Why would they not want people to know that druids, and bards, AND paladins, HAVE MAGIC?!? Don’t tell me they are too low level. I saw Xenk fight! Paladin Yendar is at least level 7. At least! (Maybe 6… but 7 is already a stretch tbh.) The rest? Bards have magic at level one, as do druids. And Druid Doric the Wild Shape was at least level 5 herself thank you. So no! Rejected, they where mid ranged level at least! Where’s the magic! Hmm!?

Imho they could have solved this several ways. (You can choose whichever combination you prefer). 1. Instead of uh, Bard (looks up his name) Edgin (lol) Darvis make him a mastermind Rogue or something. 2. If not, have him do spells but when Simon points it out everyone is like “no but that’s different because it’s music magic. Duh”. 3. Same thing for Doric, “no she can’t do it because she only has nature magic. It’s different”. 4. Hilariously, make Doric also terrible at casting spells. 5. I wanted Holga to rage more. I’m sry. Fighters can do everything she did and idc. Make it look magic or something. 6. Same with Xenk. Where was the brandishing his holy symbol and doing some magic? Bc I was like “wait is he just a high level fighter? Or rogue/fighter” (Which would have been funny to me) (ok I checked. He casts a spell on his sword once. Which I missed completely. Makes no difference to my point. Eldritch knight or trickster could do similar)

So that’s my review. If you made it this far good job. Tbh, I think I just know too much about Dnd, because otherwise I quite enjoyed this movie. I kinda hope they make more of them, so the studios better fucking learn to respect their workers and negotiate.

PS: Maybe we could do without the fat jokes next time. Or ever again.

PPS: srsly they better learn to negotiate. Because we have we have other options and I can watch countless actual plays for thousands of hours. And waiting the strike out so long people are starting to lose housing and probably worse? Well, there’s plenty of creator owned projects to provide more support to instead. (TBC- I mean if you can do that anyway but, like stop giving the assholes the support and distribute those funds to the creators)

[pastelvelvett]

Whoo boy finally I post again right? I've been playing a probably unhealhy amount of Rune Factory 5 lately, AND HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THIS MFER GOT A CANON YANDERE. Ludmila existing has got me thinking about what the other marriage candidates would be like if they were yandere, so here we go, I'm writing exactly that! These are just my interpretation of how these boyos and gorlos would be if they were yandere so if yours don't match that's perfectly valid. And because there's quite a few of them, I'll be splitting these into parts, starting off with Martin. Anyway let's just get into it!

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Ever since you moved into town, Martin felt like a switch has been turned inside his mind. He went from only thinking about completing his duties to only thinking about you and every aspect of you. He adored your voice, your kind and patient personality, your cute smile, your eyes, every aspect of you.

His work really was the only thing preocupying him before he met you, so having his steadfast, almost obsessive attention switch to something else entirely was really shocking for him. For a long time, Martin hated himself for not being able to be more productive, but years of just working himself to the bone without once thinking about his own emotions lead him to be confused as to just why he was thinking about one person so much and just what he was feeling. Whatever it was, it felt intense. Not something he felt much before.

Feeling like he was stuck going in circles, he decided he needed to talk to someone about this. He wondered if that person should be you, but for some reason he couldn't place, he got incredibly flustered at the imagery his mind conjured up of him telling you this. Instead, Martin went to Darroch, trusting that his advice would help him get out of this rut he got himself in.

Darroch upon hearing Martin describing his predicament only smiled coyly at first, letting out an amused chuckle. "Sounds like you have a little crush." He explained to the younger man matter-of-factly, earning a confused look from him. He really felt proud of Martin. Finally, he found not just something he loved other than blacksmithing, but someone he loved. Darroch assured him that he should relax, that it was perfectly normal what he was feeling. 'Is this really normal?' Martin thought to himself. It felt... Too intense. Did people experiance this all the time? There really wasn't any way to tell, was there? Something in the pit of his stomach told him something about this was wrong, but Darroch's encouragement eased his mind a bit.

The days after that, he began feeling more comfortable with the idea. This must really be normal. Darroch said so, and he wouldn't doubt his judgement. Martin started working less, much to everyone's relief. Don't get me wrong, it could still be seen as overworking, but for him it was great progress.

Despite the fact that the two of you lived so close to eachother, Martin's overly reserved personality lead him to not really talk to you much. Not only that, but he straight up tried to avoid you before he had that talk with Darroch. But the encouragement pushed him to do what he realized he wanted to so bad; he started talking to you more.

You were initially pretty surprised, since Martin really seemed like he didn't like you from your perspective. This of course couldn't be further from the truth, and you started maybe suspecting that he didn't afterall lately. Martin would often appear in spots you'd frequent, and every time he'd actually talk to you, instead of just telling you he's busy and storming off. Conversation would be short, but he seemed more open with you than before. He started asking you how your day was, giving off the impression that he not only tolerated you, but cared about you.

After a while, he appeared in spots that were admittedly a whole lot stranger, like outside of town. You would never really see many people just wandering around there, especially not Martin who was always far too busy to go out adventuring. According to him, he started going out getting resources for his blacksmithing. The explanation made a good amount of sense to you, so you accepted it without any second thoughts.

Martin started asking you if you need any help. With things like farm work, going out of town, repairing or making new tools or weapons for you, the list went on. You reluctantly agreed on ocassion, but only because he was oddly insistant. Every time he was done with something, he'd immediatly ask you what you wanted him to do next. You went from being slightly confused at his kind but stubborn proposals to being very much weirded out. He was beginning to treat you almost like a superior, refering to you with a strange amount of respect and always waiting for orders from you. Not wanting to be rude, you'd only refuse, and insist he relaxes for a bit. Martin hated hearing that. He couldn't count the amount of times someone tried to stand in the way of something he was passionate about and devoted to. He wished you understood more and let him help you. He let it go, however, looking dejected.

Even though he backed off then, he never stopped talking to you and offering you help. You were never the type to gossip, and you felt awful that you did this, but you ended up mentioning Martin's strange behavior to someone you felt comfortable talking to. His constant appearances and insistance on helping you has been creeping you the hell out, and you just needed to vent to someone.

That someone ended up being Scarlett, a fellow SEED ranger that you've been good friends with for a while. You thought Scarlett was quite a bit like Martin in a way, which was something that made you initially feel at ease with him. Scarlett was a bit cold and blunt at first, but she quickly proved to be a trustworthy friend. Unlike Martin, she seemed to perfectly respect your boundaries.

You told her about Martin, and she immediatly seemed ticked off with how he's been acting. She told you that she noticed Martin's been slacking off almost as much as Ryker tended to, and it was extremely out of character for someone so diligent. Scarlett told you she would give him a good scolding, and assured you that this would be enough for him to snap back to normal. You really hoped she was right.

The next day, Scarlett stopped by Martin's and Cecil's house first thing in the morning. She knocked on the door rather aggressively, posture straight and authoritative. It was a confused Cecil that answered the door, who sleepily rubbed his eyes while he asked her what the hubbub was about. She asked to come inside so she could talk to Martin, and that apparently made a lightbulb go off for the pink haired male. "Oh! You want to talk about how Martin hasn't been doing any work lately, right?" He asked, to which Scarlett let out a sigh. "Partly. I'd like to come inside, now." Cecil nodded shakily, a bit intimidated by her imposing presence.

Cecil made some relax tea for the two, (both because he wanted to be hospitable and because he was hoping that would calm down Scarlett a tad bit and get her to go easier on his brother) and he awkwardly moved to the next room to give them some privacy to talk. Martin sat on the couch next to a very upset looking Scarlett. He was as confused as Cecil was, but it came with a side of bitterness. He was about to go see you, and someone was holding him up. Not only that, but he was sure it would be a serious conversation, if her sharp glare was anything to go by.

"Martin. Just what has been getting into you?" She had an accusatory gaze, sipping on her tea just once to be polite. "...Explain what you mean." He said, irritated that she hasn't gotten to the point yet. The light blue haired female let out an exasperated sigh as if to say the answer was obvious. "You're... Not yourself anymore." While Martin didn't notice, her voice had an edge of concern to it. "You were so hard-working. I really respected you. Maybe you were even the slightest bit too hard-working..." She trailed off, her eyes fixed on the contents of the teacup before her. "But now, Darroch can barely get you to do anything." Suddenly, her gaze shot up to his face, looking more angry than before. "Not only that, but you keep bothering Y/N when they clearly don't want you hanging around them all the time. Can't you tell how rude you're being? How uncomfortable you're making them?"

Martin's expression went blank. He didn't know what she meant. This was normal, wasn't it? What he felt was normal, so what he was doing must be normal too. You couldn't have been uncomfortable with what he was doing, because all he was doing was expressing his feelings for you. What was she on about? Martin's stoic confusion morphed into anger. What did she tell you? What did she make you believe?

"What are you talking about? I've been helping them. Is that really a problem?" Just as Scarlett opened her mouth to answer, he continued talking. "This isn't any of your business anyway." His interruption made her eye twitch in irritation. "It IS my business. As a member of SEED, it is my sworn duty to-" She began, quickly being interrupted again. "Don't give me that crap. We both know this is more personal to you than that." Martin's voice was still quiet, but his expression made it clear how pissed he truly was. He was never the type to yell. If he was, he most definitely would be right now. Scarlett would feel even more offended than before at being interrupted a second time, if she wasn't so distracted by what he said. "...Pardon?" Now it was Martin's turn to sigh in frustration. He thought it was so, so obvious.

He saw her with you many times before. It was clear the two of you were close. He did feel a pang of what he assumed to be jealousy watching the two of you interact, simply because he wished he could talk as openly and confidently to you as Scarlett could. But now, it stood as proof that Scarlett was simply trying to keep you for herself. She wasn't angry with him "as a SEED ranger", she was angry with him because she liked you.

Scarlett cleared her throat, face flushing red and hand fiddling with her sleeve nervously. The sight made Martin feel sick in his stomach. "I... I don't know what you mean." She tried to keep her tone steady, but unfortunately for her, a stutter came out. Her flustered attitude only confirmed Martin's suspicions. He got up to his feet, unintentionally shoving the coffee table to the side. "Tell me how much you love them." The young ranger's nervousness morphed to a mixture of surprise and fear, a rare sight to see for someone that always tried to act strong. This expression quickly dissipated, being replaced by a stern scowl. She got up herself, not wanting to be let herself be intimidated by anyone. "What are you talking about?! Good Lord Martin, will you calm yourself?!"

A combination between the sound of the coffee table scraping against their floor and Scarlett's yelling lead Cecil, who was peacefully reading a mystery novel in the other room, to grow increasingly concerned for what was going on. Knowing that both the blacksmith and the SEED ranger were equally stubborn people, he thought it to be the best idea to interfere as fast as possible. "G-Guys? Anyone uh... Want some snacks? Ahahh..." He laughed nervously, hoping that such a simple offer would pacify them. "No thank you. I was just leaving." Cecil thought that she was just about to maul him, more like, but he kept this comment to himself. Martin didn't seem far too happy about the idea of her leaving before she answered him, but the conversation ending was still a relief to them both. Scarlett walked herself to the door, turning around one last time to face the taller male in the room. "I don't want to see you hanging arounf Y/N anymore, or there will be consequences. I hope I made myself clear." Scarlett demanded with her usual authoritative tone before thanking Cecil for the tea and leaving.

Martin couldn't help but let out a laugh. Why did he laugh? He laughed because it was funny. It was funny that Scarlett just so happened to say the exact thing he was about to. It was funny that she thought he could stop him. And another thing that was funny... He lowered his gaze to the cups on the wooden coffee table. A bit from both spilled on the surface from the earlier impact. It was funny that it could've been so easy. He could've offered to prepare the tea for her instead, and in that moment, he would have no reason to be worried about her taking you away from him. The frustration of losing that chance was all consuming. All he could think about was that, so he didn't notice his brother calling out to him. Only when he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders did he snap out of it.

Cecil asked Martin if he was okay, what the two of them were talking about, and a variety of other questions he could barely register in his hazed state. Martin worried him. He knew that. And God, did he feel sorry. Unfortunately, from that guilt sterned even more hatred for Scarlett. If she wasn't here today, he wouldn't have worried his brother like this. It must've been some sort of defense mechanism, to make himself believe that he wasn't truly to blame in this situation and that his problems would all be solved if only he did one simple thing.

He couldn't count the amount of times someone tried to stand in the way of something he was passionate about and devoted to. He knew that unlike you, Scarlett would never understand. This was not something he was willing to let go of.

[kallikrein]

TOKREV 230 THOUGHTS

i’m gonna put it all down before i go to sleep and hope that i get to dream bd founder waka tonight cause why not?? lmfksk so anyway, excuse my grammar ahahaha

THE BLACK DRAGONS FIRST GENERATION EVERYONE <3 they look so, so glorious pls. uniting the whole kanto region with the ‘god of war’ by your side, two former gang leaders finally befriending each other and making them your own attack unit ugh shinichiro is really the goat!!

THE PARALLELS?? i’m sobbing, both baji and takeomi being the dark haired childhood friend to the sano brothers. ngl tho, takeomi looks like baby hakkai hahah

shinichiro seems like a good kid ever since. and he deserved better, damn it. i think it’s so funny that mikey wonders why shinichiro does what he does. cause his dark impulse can’t understand /j

SHUT UP WAKA. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO PRETTY WITH THAT MESSY HAIR AND BIZARRE EARRING ON?? YOU DIDN’T EVEN HOLD BACK LMAO. AND WDYM HE’S WEAK WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN? SO YOU AREN’T THEN?? HAHHSHSHS

it’s so heartwarming to see benwaka smiling like this. it’s so genuine and tbh, i wanna see more of their interaction with shin <3

i spy with my little eye a thing that starts with the letter b. yep, it’s their lfmkdjs bikes. i wanna see them…driving it. when will it be ken-sensei? i need to see waka riding his bike ehehe. i wonder how takeomi got his scar tho cause in this panel, he still doesn’t have it.

like i said, shinichiro is such a good man. grandpa sano brought him up well. and here we have takeomi having his scar. i’m really curious as to how he got it. was it from a fight with other gangs? or the famous theory that it was sanzu’s doing? hmm

aha! hearts have been broken tonight because of this. takeomi knows his way around women, while shinichiro can’t relate cause he’s … yeah ;-;

SENJU OMG WHAT A BADDIE?!?!?! she knows her own strength, confident enough to proclaim she wanted to take down the invincible mikey. if that doesn’t speak girl boss, idk what else will. such an inspiration!!

THESE TWO MFERS ISTG I’M shaking crying screaming BECAUSE HELLO, GYM OWNERS BENWAKA?? YES GODDAMN PLEASE.

wakasa being a full blonde with a lil tied up hair atop his head plus his nonchalant posture… sir let me be a member in your gym…damn. i swear i will exercise as fuck lmao.

also them training senju. best stepdads for real.

[ i got way past the 10-image limit and i’m really frustrated ]

i really felt takeomi on a different level tho because of tonight’s chapter. being an adult, steering control of your own life is extremely hard. sometimes it’s actually fun like “oh nvm yolo”, but often times it’s really “where am i going with this” hard ahshshs so that scene where the brahman was initially formed, and takeomi swearing to be a better person really spoke out to me lmgksks

but of course he forgot again when brahman became huge. it’s okay. we all make mistakes. we’re just humans after all.

i liked that he remembered his own purpose now. it’s the best feeling ever, and that the people around him (wakasa and benkei) still accepted his weakness even senju, his sister who is much younger than him, does too. she’s already mature for her age, love that for her.

i just wish that senju could take down the titan that is terano south unharmed. also benwaka please be safe, no one is allowed to follow draken’s fate ;-; </3

[vanikolya]

Hi! Can I request a vanitas and noe ( or just vanitas if two character is too much) with a vampire S/O who feels guilty after drinking their blood?

vanitas

oh he defo enjoyed it there's no need for guilt here

gives you the whole spiel on how it feels better based on the compatibility of the two etc etc, and how if he thought it felt really good, then there's no need to feel guilty, the both of you are probably meant for each other

this mans says a lot of cliché romantic stuff for someone who wants to push everyone away, sus

he would gently comfort you though if you still felt guilty, and probably sit/lay there with you

it's almost like a way of him telling you he knows you're different, a vampire, you drink blood- and he doesn't care, he still loves you all the same and if drinking his blood is something you're going to do, so be it, he's all for it

but vani is also tragically emotionally reclusive and isn't going to actually say it, at least just not yet he needs to do the obligatory "mentally rehearsing everything i'm going to say" part at least a hundred more times before he can

although if it was because you're a cursebearer and couldn't help yourself and that's why you felt guilty

mfer would probably still have enjoyed it, i mean have you seen him on that balcony with jeanne

he's really just glad it was him you attacked and not anyone else

it's not like he's going to go telling on you and getting you in trouble with the chasseurs, is he?

especially if you knew it would happen at some point, and was keeping it secret from him, he would probably be pissy about it for a bit ngl because you could have gotten yourself hurt but at least he was there and able to cure you

noe

hugs and kisses and comfort bc you're not allowed to feel guilty about something you were both 100% okay with beforehand😤

"it's good for you to drink blood from time to time, and it's never going to bother me 🥺"

very affectionate but what's new there

he assures you that you don't have to do it again until you decide you're definitely very okay with it

it's not like you were doing it to hurt him, ofc, and it's not like it's his first time having his blood drank either

unless. you were a cursebearer and you attacked him impulsively, which is a bit of a different scenario

but have you seen this man fight, he can hold his own against people who are actually trying to hurt him maliciously, let alone you just having a little slip up and trying to drink his blood on impulse

noe wouldn't hold it against you though, he's seen so many cursebearers and he's seen naenia, he knows it's not your fault

especially if you didn't know

but if you did he'll be really sad and worried afterwards, even after he had inevitably taken you to vanitas

"but what if something had happened to you? and me and vanitas didn't know??" "noe it's fine now, i got cured-" "i know but still :("

[awake-dearheart]

it took me a couple days but here’s a rundown of things sebastian said during the zoom call with his trainer don saladino and the march challenge group. he was on for an hour and three minutes total. keep in mind this challenge was fitness oriented so most of the questions revolve around that. this will also be LONG.

first of all he had trouble unmuting himself which was hilarious

he had a carboard cutout of the falcon with him which made everyone laugh

he loved being able to support ronald mcdonald house and he was sad they couldn’t go this year. sweet baby

when he was asked what he struggles with in his fitness he immediately said body dysmorphia. like no hesitation. he said he felt like he could stand to be less hard on himself.

he prefers cardio over other kinds of workouts.

he mentioned a role he’s getting ready for that’s “a lot different” but he laughed it off and said he couldn’t talk about it. i’m thinking it might have been tommy lee?

he tries to workout even just a little before he goes to set even when his schedule is crazy.

when he started training he had NO idea what he was doing. it took him a while to get into a routine and figure it out. he credited don with working a lot with him and finding a routine that works for him.

he feels better when he can do something physical every day. he said it really helps him mentally because the two go hand in hand for him.

someone said they were learning romanian and asked him for phrases to learn in romanian he said (in romanian) “oh my GOD why would you do that?” he also said he thinks people learning romanian because of him is “one of the sweetest things.”

he was asked how he balances training to look good vs training to feel good and he said if he’s training to look good he’s never 100% satisfied. training to feel good and setting short term goals has been better for him. 

don praised him for working hard to pivot his focus on the overall vs the day to day. seb said it was a lot harder when he started than it is now.

someone asked him if the workouts or the nutrition was harder and he immediately started talking about pizza and how much he loves a good cheat meal. the chat blew up talking about his cheat day video for men’s health. 

seb asked don his favorite cheat meal and they went on a tangent about burgers and fries and vodka that had us cracking up. seb said he went through a period where he was eating some kind of chocolate every day.

someone asked if he found it mentally difficult to go from one body type to another for roles and he said absolutely. he said if he has a shirtless scene to do then a month before he cuts out ALL sugar. fruits, carbs, everything and he turns into a very irritable person for about two weeks.

he was asked how the pandemic has changed his training and he said of course it has. him and don worked together to create a program for him to do from home with dumbbells and they had to get inventive. he’s been running a lot too.

someone asked the strangest item he’s used for weights and he said he’d go to the grocery store by himself without uber or anything. he tried to do one big shopping trip to last him for a week and half and he’d be laden with bags and it took him an hour and a half to walk home.

he told a story about using a towel and a bar in his house and he said “you probably know it because some “super fans” love to leak my address. so kind. lovely people.” the chat became v enraged.

he’s never had to get in shape on super short notice. marvel usually gives him about a 2 month heads up before he has to shoot things.

someone asked if he was a dog person. he said he loves dogs and he’d love to have one but he travels too much to give one the right kind of attention. he said if he could have a dog he’d have a bulldog or a husky.

he was asked his favorite nyc cheat meal and his first answer was “seeing all of you there” and we all cracked up. his real answer was a pizza place called rubirosa. he specifically likes their white pizza. (who wants to go to new york and get pizza with me?)

who would win in an iso squat challenge? him or don? (iso squats are when you drop into a squat and you hold it. it’s been the most hated exercise throughout the challenge). his face was HORRIFIED when he remembered what they are and he said don would definitely win. “don you have thighs of glory” the group is contemplating making shirts.

he played some sports in school but he wasn’t a super athletic kid. he struggled in school a bit because he had an accent and people were picking on him. it took a long time for his confidence to build.

celebrate victories where you can. he talked about when he posted that shirtless picture from the gym as an example. he said it’s more for motivation and pride in his achievements than about showing off.

he mentioned the documentary “the weight of gold” as something he watched recently. he said it’s a good example of people who are gold medal olympians struggling with the same things as everyone else when it comes to fitness. he comes back several times to not being too hard on yourself. 

he hasn’t lifted any weights in about a month and a half but he’s been running. he’s surprised at the amount of muscle he still has because he thought he’d lose a lot of it.

taking breaks when you’re working on fitness is so important. he says taking a week off sometimes is ok if that’s what you need.

they have talked about pizza at least 5 times at this point (32 minutes in) and it’s HILAROUS honestly.

he hates leg day. he knows how important it is because you need strong legs but he prefers doing arms and chest. “the squats can be so annoying UGH.”

someone asked him his advice for people who are starting an acting career and he laughed and said “quit all social media.” he walked it back and said you have to find a way to quiet the noise. 

this mfer went to theatre camp when he was 15 and he did MUSICALS. we tired to get him to sing. it didn’t work.

“you gotta do you. you cannot lose you as you’re going. and you cannot care what people think.”

he talked about imposter syndrome in terms of getting reviews and stuff. he said when he gets bad reviews it hurts but sometimes when he gets good reviews he can think “oh my god they made a mistake” or “oh my god i have to deliver like this every time.” he said if you’re starting out ask yourself why you want to do this and make sure this is what you want to do day in a day out. make sure when you face rejection and obstacles you have the energy to push you to get back up and say “fuck you i’m doing me.”

recommended the book “the subtle art of not giving a fuck” as something he loves.

“there’s creativity in everything. you don’t have to be a pianist or an actor or a writer. there’s creativity in all functions. as people we’re all creative.”

he went back to instagram for a minute and said to use it for the right things and follow the things that you like or are inspired by. he loves that social media can be used to reach people but you have to filter through the negative stuff.

someone asked the meanest thing don’t ever said during training and he said don’s never been mean but he’s always been inspiring and motivating for him. cute lil bromance moment.

he was asked if it’s harder to get into shape physically for the winter soldier or mentally. he said now it’s more of a head thing than it was in the beginning. the physically part was challenging for him in the beginning because he wanted to feel strong to build his confidence. he felt he couldn’t be bucky without being strong. 

civil war was his real hair but when they started filming it wasn’t long enough so he had extensions. by the end of the shoot it was long enough to cut the extensions out. 

the line between overtraining and not being motivated to train enough is hard for him sometimes. things tend to come all at once or not at all and it can be a struggle. 

he meditates and does some kind of physical activity every day at the start of his day. it makes him able to do the things he needs to do for the rest of the day better.

he thanked everyone for their support of tfaws and “making us look pretty good.” he’s very grateful for the turnout.

don says falcon weird. that’s not important but i wanted to mention it.

running is his go to thing. he feels like it’s a good meditative thing for him.  his go to pandemic workout was 100 pull ups, 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, 100 squats and alternating with running. we all panicked and were like “100 PULL UPS AT ONCE??” and he was like no no no no no no no no space that shit out during the day.

he loves breakfast but he doesn’t eat it at breakfast time. he joked he was going to eat breakfast after the call (which ended at 7PM). he likes anything with eggs and avocado. 

there are still directors he wants to work with that he can’t get to see him for parts. he did three audition tapes, two in person auditions, and a screen test to get bucky.

he just recently learned what “thirst pics” are (he figured out from the chat it’s thirst traps). when someone told him that picture from the gym was a thirst trap he was like “oh great well that sounds terrible.” men’s health didn’t call him until after that pic. he had reached out to them before that but that was the thing that made them call.

“make fun of yourself. you have to not take yourself too seriously.”

they both talked about how being able to do things like this is a privilege. there are always days when seb or don or anyone walks into a gym and doesn’t want to be there.

this is the part that made me emotional as FUCK. he’s had days where he’s gone to set and been like “what the fuck am i doing?” he says every time that happens he thinks “this is the time they’re gonna realize i can’t do this. this is when they’re all gonna know i’ve never been good at this.” he said in those moments you can’t just say “no no no i’m the best.” he said sometimes affirmations work and they can be as simple as “i’m gonna try to have a good day today” and it doesn’t have to be “i have to be the best version of myself.” it can just be “i wanna have a good day today” but on the days when you don’t feel good about things and don’t know what you’re doing he said you have to go there and say “ok i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing. fuck everything.” be in the thing that’s happening to you and give yourself permission to be down for a minute. find a compromise with yourself. if you can’t run the same three miles you’ve run all week and you just don’t want to, maybe you go for a walk instead. (his example not mine i DO NOT run). when he’s been in those moments of defeat accepting it had lead him to things he didn’t plan for and he finds those moments to be gifts in a way. accepting it and saying “today is that day” your body and your mind can start moving into finding other little things to do.

he came back to pizza one more time. i love him.

he recognizes how lucky he is to have the life he has. he says it’s important to pay attention to give a fuck about things and to give a fuck about things that will help other people. 

watching him talk the whole time he seemed so happy and relaxed. he seems like such a light hearted and fun person and he laughed SO much

that’s the end y’all. thanks for sticking around and reading all my hastily typed notes

[honeybomb4thebear]

Can I ask for the nsfw alphabet for hoshi 👀

Sure!!!! Hope you like it! <3

RYOMA HOSHI N//S*FW ALPHABET

A=Aftercare - What they do/act like after sex. ⦁ He is shy. Will be probably distant because he is deadass shy, so pls go and hug him. It'll make him so happy-

B=Bondage - Are they into BDSM, and how far they’ll go if they have a green light. ⦁ Nah, he is vanilla.

C=Cum - pretty self explanatory. ⦁ Cums a fair amount. Kinda bitter, but his cute face and sexyass voice makes up for it!

D=Dom - Are they dominant, submissive, a switch? ⦁ Hmm, that troubles me a bit... I think he is just a shy dom? Yeah, I feel like being sub isn't his thing. A dom boy!

E=Edgeplay - Similar to ‘Kinks’ except it’s a lot riskier than usual kinks (knifeplay, breathplay, etc.). ⦁ No, sorry...

F=Fantasy - A fantasy of theirs (ex: a teacher/student fantasy). ⦁ There is no way he'd admit that but he would love to have you after getting done with a satisfactory tennis match, right after everyone leaves, just the two of you in the changing room. The mere thought of it is super embarrassing to him, but having you after winning a tennis match makes him really happy...

G=Got Caught - How they react when they get caught having sex. ⦁ THAT. DEADLY LOOK. IN HIS EYES. The look is enough, but when he talks with the deep voice of his, even if it's a simple demand like "get out"? Yeah, even Miu would run for her life instead of trying to tease you guys.

H=Hot Spots - A place that drives them crazy when stimulated (EX: neck). ⦁ Hmm, his jawline maybe? Like it tickles him a bit, but surprisingly when you kissed his jawline one day he didn't complain. He simply just. Let it happen. And he seemed to enjoy it, even... What more could you ask for?

I=Intimacy - How romantic they are, or can be, before, during, or after sex. ⦁ Ryoma isn't a big fan of expressing his feelings verbally, so he tries to do it via his touches. But if he is really really emotional at that moment, he'll blurt out lovely "I love you"s or, things like "you don't even know how much you mean to me" etc.

J=Journey - Their ideal way of leading up to sex. ⦁ ...Hurt & comfort? Like our angsty boy will not show it and will deny it firmly but he likes it when you actually try to cheer him up a bit and you look like an angel while trying to do so, so he can't help wanting to touch you... And you certainly won't regret it, he will make sure to treasure you.

K=Kinks - I’ll list a few of their kinks, be they the normalized ones or kinkier kinks. ⦁ F...Fingering. I... Don't know why. Handjobs work too, just, fingering. He has magic fingers and your reactions are adorable so that's probably why. ⦁ Idk if this counts but he likes morning sex??? Like getting to feel your touch to start his day is so good for him.....

L=Location -  Where they like to have sex at, do they like risky locations, etc. ⦁ Not really risky, prefers to keep it in the bed to avoid getting caught. Or couch. That works too. Maybe armchair, just maybe.

M=Masturbation - How they are when they get themselves off, what they get themselves off to. ⦁ Ah, him... I think he only does it when he absolutely has to... Like, for health reasons or sumth. He probably thinks of you guys' intimate moments while doing so, at most.

N=NO - A few things that they will absolutely, under no circumstances, ever do. ⦁ Not anything that's prison related, no handcuffs etc. just- please.

O=On’s - Their top turn on’s that they have (things that’ll get them super horny super quickly). ⦁ Maybe it's weird but when he gets to protect you from something/or someone? And you calling him your hero etc. Bonus points if you talk about how you never wanna leave by his side and how much he means to you- vanilla much, Mr. Hoshi? ⦁ You stroking his hair and overall being all lovey-dovey in a sensual way gives him an instant boner too. He likes the soft feeling he gets from spending time with you so much, that's just how he is.

P=Position -  Their favourite position to have sex in. ⦁ Doggy style. Idk why, I just felt like it. He gets to see your ass jiggle, I just feel like he likes asses-

Q=Quickie - Do they like it, do they prefer quickies over actual sex, etc. ⦁ Not really. This boy is into  l o v e m a k i n g

R=Rough - How rough they are, or get, when in bed. ⦁ Kinda rough, if he gets too caught up in the moment. He is usually careful with you, though his voice is enough for you to get wrenched AKFDFHKHSKFHDSKJHAK

S=Stamina - How long they can go before they tap out. ⦁ 3-4 usually, I suppose.

T=Toys - Do they use toys, do they own them, what kind, etc. ⦁ Why do I feel like he'd have anal plugs? Like, he'd put them in you while taking you in doggy style, or during a hand job etc. Double penetration baby.

U=Unfair - How much they tease you, how they tease you, etc. ⦁ Not a big fan of it, and I feel like he'd get mad if you were to tease him... Welp, that'd make the punishment even more fun now, wouldn't it?

V=Volume - How loud they get when having sex, things they might say, etc. ⦁ Quiet ass mfer. But like I said, when he does talk it's the most precious thing ever. His moans are so deep and sexy too ughHGUHuhg...........

W=Wild Card - a random letter for the character of your choice. ⦁ I feel like Ryoma would like to see you in thigh-high socks. He just would. He'd just stare at them all day. Needless the say, it'll be a fun night for you two if you wear them...

X=X-Ray - How they look with their clothes off. ⦁ Kinda chubby?? Not too much, he has a cuteass belly pooch!! Seriously it's adorable!! Don't play with it tho, he'll be mad......... ⦁ I... Am lost about his dick size. I don't know at all. Either it's gigantic or it's way under average. Schrödinger's Cat perhaps? Lol

Y=Yearning - How often they need to have sex. ⦁ Not too often, naturally at least. I'd say once in two weeks or so.

Z=ZZZ - How quickly they fall asleep after having sex. ⦁ Makes sure you sleep first, in order to stroke your hair lovingly as he looks at you with his eyes full of love. Then falls asleep happily. Will wake up even happier if he realizes that he has became the little spoon during the night.

[samwrights]

Pining After You pt. 6 [hc]

This request is brought to you by @90s-belladonna hope you enjoy bb!

Also, minor warning. Osamu gets a little dirty. I’m not sorry.

Y’all really just here for Pining, huh. I see how it is. If you want sad, mutual pining, and want to support my writing, you can check out my new mini-series called Elixir here

Ushijima;

His pining comes out in the form of aggression, this isn’t up for debate.

He doesn’t understand why the melodic lilt in your voice gives him the willies or how every time you glanced at him after class, his skin would crawl.

Or why it bothers him so fucking much when you make it a point to greet everybody in class but him

But only six more months and you both were done with high school, ready to begin the next chapter in your lives.

Ngl, he’s a little sad about that but, again, he doesn’t know why.

It frustrates him more when he genuinely can’t stop thinking about why he doesn’t understand why it bothers him, and he’ll end up spiking a ball so hard everyone swears he left a dent in the gym floor.

He knew he wasn’t the most approachable person, but for someone to deliberately ignore them made him want to pull his kneecaps out through his shins.

Ushiwaka’s a tad dramatic, he hides it very well though.

With the end of the year encroaching, he decides to actively focus on letting go these strange bitter thoughts he has about you. What was the point in him resenting you when he was never going to see you again?

When he masters this skill is when you finally say Hi to him. For the first time in three years, he was the last one you greeted in the classroom—everyone else noticed it too.

All of his hard work and practice and discipline was out the window now.

He tries to confront you during lunch, but you had retreated as quickly as you could to find your friends, succeeding in aggravating him more.

At the end of class, he calls your name in his typical, gruff voice, successfully stopping you before you could make your escape.

“Uh, hi, Ushijima.”

“This is now the second time in our three years of being in class together that you’ve ever said hi to me.”

“I-I’m sorry.” Sorry? For what?

“I’m confused.” You stood there, cowering in his gaze while looking at the speckles in the lineoleum flooring, the way there were rings of dirt around the legs of each desks—anything but looking at him.

“You, uh, looked like you were in a better mood today, so I finally felt like I could say hi to you...” He doesn’t ever recall you being bashful. So where did this new facet of your personality come from?

“Are you saying you felt that you couldn’t before?”

“Y-yeah? You always just looked like you hated me, so...” Unsure of what to do, Ushijima bows before asking if you would allow him to walk you to your locker before he attended practice. So formal.

As the two of you walk, he explains that he didn’t understand why you made him feel certain strange sensations that he was unfamiliar with feeling, things he’d only heard about in passing from others. They were foreign.

Most of all, he explains how ashamed he feels that the reason you never said hi was because of these underlying complexities of not understanding. Without words, all you could do was give him a shy hug, and hope he doesn’t throw you off of him. All he wanted to know was why

Why did he feel like a child being wrapped in his favorite blanket when you gave him a hug? Why did he feel remorse for inadvertently upsetting you to the point where you didn’t want to say hi to him? Why did he have the overwhelming urge to hug you even tighter?

To found out why, he had to just do it. So his burly arms pull you in close, swallowing your torso as he nearly lifted off the ground, soothing the irritation that had built up over the last three years.

Yahaba;

Oh, Yahaba. This dirty, shallow mfer.

You’d think he would grow out of his stupid antics when took over the team as captain, or you only hoped when you finally caved in to being the manager in your guys’ third year.

“Why do you want me to be the manager exactly? I know nothing about volleyball.”

“Our manager has to be hotter than Karasuno’s, duh!”

He always spewed some shit about how you were the most beautiful girl in the school, blah blah blah.

Was anything ever sincere coming from his mouth?

He found a new girl to obsess over every week not that you were jealous or anything.

It was just really tiresome trying to keep him on focusing being the captain. With you as the manager, you felt it was your duty to drag him by the collar to make sure his team was ready to go. Duty, not envy.

Despite finding a new “most beautiful girl in school”, Yahaba always came back to you.

Every chance he got, he amped up the charm 100 fold, just to try to get you to indulge him

No matter what, your response was a roll of your eyes and a shake of your head while you continued writing down notes.

Yahaba loves irritating you this way, thinking that your hard-to-get attitude was the sexiest thing. Loves it so much that it drives him to flirt with others more upon seeing the envious shade of emerald paint over your irises.

“Ya know, captain,” you drawled at practice while he was making salacious comments regarding a second-year he’d acidentally bumped into earlier. “If your flirting skills were a fraction as good as your volleyball skills, maybe you wouldn’t have to thirst over every bitch that doesn’t want you.”

Kindaichi is fucking rolling—you’d never called Yahaba out THAT bad before.

But homie isn’t phased. Nah, instead he just rests an elbow atop your forehead, disregarding the fact that y’all were literally in the middle of practice.

“Baby, the only one I’m thirsting over is you.”

“You literally just proved my point, I don’t want you either.” 💀💀 RIP

You’ve had enough of this shit and, with permission from the coaches, you pull Yahaba outside to give him a stern talking to.

“You need to knock it off and take this seriously, dude.”

“[name], I’ve been serious this entire time.”

“No you’re not! All you’re doing is bs flirting with every girl you see—“

“[name], I’m flirting with you. I only say stupid things because it makes you mad and you get all red and it’s fucking hot.”

For once, you hear the sincerity in his voice, yet you can’t help but retort with, “I still don’t like you.”

Osamu;

The dichotomy between Osamu’s two internal monologues contrasted more than day and night. They were the sun and a black hole.

But even more so in the fact that star giants eventually cave in on themselves, and become a black hole.

That was what you did to Miya Osamu.

You were profane and vulgar and your favorite past time was playing with the twins to see you could get a rise out of more. And you were good at it too.

While Atsumu really couldn’t give less of a shit about your teasing antics, mostly because he would easily dish it right back, it drove Osamu insane because you were giving his twin brother more attention.

You knew that it got under his skin, but that was all the more reason you did it. You wanted to see Osamu snap. And you wouldn’t stop trying until you succeeded.

The first time, you dropped your pencil on the floor, picking it up in front of the boys after ensuring your skirt was pulled up high enough that they had a prime showing of your underwear. “Oops sorry, ‘tsumu.” You’d tease after returning to your seat.

“No need to apologize, we know you’re a hoe by nature.”

The second time was at the beginning of class when you had a quiz. How you managed to unbutton nearly all the buttons on your uniform top just so that the edge of your bra peaked out, was beyond Osamu. Unfortunately for him, Atsumu sat in front of his twin and was able to see your cleavage that day.

“Looks like you could use a good fill in there.” Atsumu drawls, referring to said cleavage.

The final attempt is what causes Osamu to snap. Everyone is filtering out of the classroom, with you following behind his twin brother cracking jokes about how you’d dropped your pencil again in the middle of lab just so you could get a closer look at the natural bulge in his pants.

Osamu slams you up against a locker, red in the face and sweating profusely as he’s painted and doused with rage. “Why do you only ever fucking pay attention to my shithead brother?” He snarls, unable to look you directly in the eye.

A lopsided grin touches your lips as you unabashedly tilt his chin up to make him look at you. “Because I know it gets under your skin.”

It felt like gravity was being pulled through his chest—the sun giving way to its weight and collapsing in on itself. Giving into the black hole.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” His voice, while not lacking intensity, was now lacking in volume as it barely came above a whisper. “How is that funny?” He asks in response to your sudden bubble of laughter.

“This is everything better than I thought it would be.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Another laugh dances on your lips before you pull the grey haired twin to you, kissing him deeper than a black hole.

“Atsumu told me you get real mad sometimes, so I wanted to see it for myself. It’s even hotter than I dreamed of.”

“I’ll fucking show you angry.”

Wanna see a specific character? Or a different head cannon? Want to see a whole story?

Send in requests!

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

netflix shadow and bone s1 e5 pt3: peak darklina

the first kiss scene Alina is so beautiful Her little smile as she picks up his kefta after he hears him call out for Ivan to get it like ooh I'm gonna play a little trick on Alek Her making him smile with a joke that's not even funny The tentativeness of it all, them tiptoeing around each other, testing the boundaries Him being taken aback by her offering to help him put on his kefta but still wanting her to and immediately resorting to business voice asking questions about official sun summoner stuff And putting on his serious business face him trying to explain away the gloves by calling them a safeguard, not a sign of him not trusting her abilities the face he makes after saying spectacle either depicting his distaste for the showiness of the event or depicting his embarrassment at how he phrased the sentence, like what the fuck did I just say (more likely the first one) Her quickly turning around and walking away after the eye contact makes her realise how close they are and him pulling a puzzled look as she does so Just. Just how adorable the energy is. Both of them making jokes to diffuse the tension, her gripping the table to maybe steady or calm herself, the looks they give to each other as if engaged in a delicate dance; god-like Him straight up just blinking and looking down and gulping as she says 'we can offer Grisha and Ravkans hope' (could be multiple things he's thinking at this point, and all of them interest me) 'That means a lot to me, Alina.' *her turning to look at his face* 'You mean a lot...' *her immediately lowering her gaze and tracing where her mal scar used to be lmao* 'to everyone' *her raising her gaze to him again* The music swelling as she walks up to him, her barely grazing her fingers against his collar, his eyes looking across hers as if in disbelief, her looking at his lips, and then her closing the gap between them. Him being a little stiff, indubitably from being shocked, and yet giving into it almost instinctively as if he can't help it. The violin coming in powerfully yet softly to emphasize the tenderness of it all. This thing has been made with so much love and I can't contain myself about it. Him opening his eyes half a second after Alina, almost as if waking up from a dream and then, following a relaxing of his facial muscles as he clearly regains his composure, immediately looking inscrutable. Her doubting herself, not losing eye contact as he stands up from the desk, but her sudden fear, regret, and embarrassment clear on her face. Her sides of her lips slowly rising giving way his own self mirroring her and breaking into smile and composing himself and breaking into smile again before saying 'Not many people surprise me, Miss Starkov'. Her now fully breaking out into a smile, her face a picture of unguarded joy, she looks down only to have his gaze follow her face. Both of them giddy in the other's presence and the audience can feel it. It feels like he is leaning in for another one when the sound of the door opening makes them spring apart, regaining their composures and standing at a respectable distance from each other. Her poorly suppressing a smile, him looking at her visibly, her mimicking him with a glance out of her periphery, causing her to give in to her smile completely. Him looking visibly distracted as he attempts to pay attention to whoever came into the room. the Jesper of it all Jesper the mega idiot not being able to control his face from doing a thing as he realises the person who caught him where he wasn't supposed to be is the same person he was making sexy eyes at before and yet regaining his composure in record time The poor stable hand actually being interested in Jesper and being adorable with Jesper just being like charm itself Can you believe looking at Jesper Llewellyn Fahey in the flesh and having him make sexy eyes at you and then forgetting about it? Because I simply cannot. The line about light role play? Felt a little not right. GO OFF STABLE HAND WHO PUSHED JESPER AGAINST A WALL AND KISSED HIM, HE LITERALLY SAID IM POPPING OFF AND

THEN HE DID Zoya Zoya saying fuck off to the random racist comment made by one of the guests, but she was racist to Alina herself? (I mean South Asian-East Asian hate is not uncommon so idk) David omg the cutie pie adjusting his hair at the fete HEARTRENDER FUCKING HUSBANDS Fedyor insisting on Ivan eating the sweet and Ivan's solemn head shake like no babe im on a diet and Fedyor being like heart eyes please eat the sweet my love and then Fedyor holding Ivan's face to make him nibble off a corner and Ivan's face splitting into a reluctant grin Kaz the actor Seeing Kaz the actor instead of Kaz the master of trickery and plans is an interesting thing Kanej being Kanej cute banter interaction, would recommend, 10/10 hints at Arken being sus The look Kaz gives Arken when Arken leaves, I really should have known, I was simply being a clown Darkling and the dumb royalty We love the Darkling suppressing his anger at these otkazat'sya rulers dissing the grisha and the little palace Alina's entrance The soft hum that we hear when Alina enters but we don't see her face Alina's adorable peeking The Darkling's expression changing despite being done af with these mfers and instantaneously on catching a glimpse of Alina, she really has that power huh He really made it look like his pupils dilated and who knows maybe they did Him trying to call her out for not following protocol but him melting and saying 'you look lovely, by the way' Her saying 'you look like you needed saving' I can't breathe you're so cool ballroom at the little palace I must confess I expected the ballroom of the winter fete to be bigger

GENYADAVID looking at each other and pretending not to look at each other, my fucking heart Kanej being Kanej Kaz implying they're gonna try to trick the people into thinking that the fake sun summoner is real and Inej being done with his shit Alina's demonstration HER NAME IS ALINA STARKOV yes mfer The way people back away as he steps, god the power of this man Inej looking at Kaz omfg Okay him clapping the darkness into the room was cool af I love the shadow summoning effects so fucking much The first bit of light that Alina summons lighting up the gold parts of her black kefta, absolute perfection Alina just enjoying her power and then looking to Alek, his lips parting when she does Aw Fedyor looking at Ivan in a I told you she could do it way Genya and Fedyor exchanging glances as Alina besties THE CROWD SAYING SANKTA ALINA INEJ SAYING SANKTA ALINA WITH HALF A TEAR IN HER EYE DAMN THIS IS POWERFUL Jesper and Dima IMMEDIATELY TRANSITIONING TO JESPER SAYING 'SAINTS' AS A NAKED STABLE BOY GETS OFF OF HIM AGAHSJSJSJKS I CAN'T IM CACKLING AT THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW HOW ARE THEY SO PERFECT (his name's dima btw) Poor fucking Dima getting frightening orders from his superior as his hookup sneaks out with horses that are definitely not his Arken the little shit Ah Arken why'd you have to go and do this I was actually amused by you before the malyen factor omg Mal's here and someone saw him getting here apparat and faith? The apparat literally jumping out of the palace walls at Alina lol man I do love the religion angle of this universe and it would have been so fucking cool if it were explored a bit better ew apparat that grab was very violent mal/darkling interaction the darkling's reaction at his recognition of mal was so funny ah yes my arch nemesis, the other angle of this teen immortal love triangle how utterly delightful someone explain the darkling's 'are you alright' to mal, is it because Alina was worried sick, is it mind games, is it curiosity, what is it Im still don't know how to feel with them attaching a literal symbol to the sun summoner, to Alina's dreams and to the stag itself 'not until I see Alina' THE LOYAL HIMBO ENERGY IN THIS ONE ISTFG I have never known nose acting until I saw Ben Barnes, he uses his nose in his acting and it is absolutely wonderful; case in point, the 'i beg your pardon' to mal with the rage making his voice shake okay but why is every mal darkling interaction like, everything the prompt answer our baby mal gives and the satisfaction it brings to his face, fucking amazing the darkling being literally struck by this, his mouth literally agape, king this is a 20 year old lmao Baghra! OMG WE GOT A GLIMPSE OF BAGHRA'S FIRE YES Genya supremacy Genya beating Arken up let's fucking go Marie's plot influence and Racism? Yellowface? again? hmm bardugo (then again, I have no authority over this, I'm south asian) Ive already talked about how I'm interested in knowing if and how changing Marie's time and place of death going to influence the plot much because in the books it caused a chain reaction doing a lot of stuff Alina, my love Alina just, laughing with other Grisha, feeling at home, ah be still my treacherous heart Mal's confrontation scene with Alina that was in the books being retconned to Mal calling out to her body double, hmm, probably to make Mal more likeable, I don't have any feelings about this particularly Nadia and Fedyor Okay the both of them, smiling and walking, hand in hand, cute mlm wlw solidarity moment that I missed during the first watch Kanej interacting with Alina Why is Alina literally so adorable The music picking up as the Inferni catches sight of the 'limping man' (what? it was funny when he said it) Blue Irises Alina's face showing a certain sense of calm when Alek shows up Alina's face after the Darkling says 'for you' and presents her with blue irises is something like gasp okay you've got game sexy shadow man mal fite time omg I thought she was taking mal to talk to Baghra or smth not to kill him 🤡 aren't oprichnikis like

otkazat'sya or am I missing smth? Because Baghra's spy is obvs a fabrikator THE DESK SCENE omg the scene hath arriveth the fact that Alina can't stop smiling gods, the flirting 'I don't recall this, being part of the schedule' him turning back and saying 'it isn't' her hiding her face through the cover of smelling the flowers and just how coy she acts, like the literal eyelid batting Ma'am how embarrassing for you to have feelings rn these two are my absolute favs of all time the camera moving as they move from their spots on which they had to stand on to get the shot of their shadows almost kissing her nodding and smiling at him saying 'she'll probably be alright' like okay I'm ready for smooches kiss me already and him going 'don't you think' trying to savour this moment IM SORRY BUT THE FUCKING SCORE AT THE MOMENT THEIR LIPS MEET YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CANNOT COPE the way his hand is so big that he can almost hold her entire face in it the way she grips the back of his head I'm sorry I feel so disrespectful saying this but the sounds they make+I think that's a um titty grab or maybe it's just a holding someone and the placement was um unintended but I doubt it because everything in this fucking show is so intentional+ the lift up onto the desk+ the faces they make+ um god I'm going to hell for this but when they sort of grind into each other (I understand this is acting and they're just good at their job) but god does all of this make my heart race and also makes me happy I guess LITERAL GIGGLES I can't I'm soft 🥺🥺🥺 his little head shake at the knock on the door when he goes in for one last kiss before she gets off the desk and her eyes going all oy you, go get the door, I'm not going anywhere don't make whoever it is wait is so adorable and domestic her just standing there mouth agape to herself when he walks away HIM STILL FLUSHED AND BLUSHING AND HIS HAPPINESS CLEAR AS DAY ON HIS FACE WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR his gaze flits to her when Ivan says Alina was the target 'I'll be waiting' love, I physically can't anymore Little cheek hold and walk away Her little smile to herself nearly fading before he jumps back in again to her surprise and to ours to hold her face with both his hands and kiss her one last time, and yes, he does kiss like he's being drafted for the war in the morning Her little mouth open and close and then her little smile to herself after he leaves I refuse to watch the rest of the episode right now because no let me steep in the darklina bliss

[fanmoose12]

I am not over it. I am SO not over IT. I read the SNK manga YEARS ago when it was only chapter 100 and one day I had the dumb idea to continue that shit. I am not PLEASED and Hanji's death UTTERLY WRECKED ME, someone who wasn't even a Hanji Stan!! reading the manga made me fall in love with her quiet determination, leadership skills, and sense of duty when before I was more of an Armin type of girl? She just. won me over. and her death was NOT OKAY. I CRIED while saying no no nO NOOO OH MY GOD -

and it TORE ME APART and she was the only person in my mind ever since and I couldn't read the manga in the same nonchalant way ever again. i'm sorry i promise im getting somewhere! it legit ruined my moods and made me so sad all the time IT WAS THAT BAD and i started hating eren with absolute passion. Idek where to start? How her death was pointless & nobody gave a fuck?? and Levi thought of FRICKING ERWIN instead of Hans & I wasnt even a Levihan shipper it doesnt make SENSE! He just LOST HANS

-- and all he can think about is FUCKING ERWIN. come on MAN, and she parented the 104th even REINER had more emotions than these mfers. Everyone is alive EXCEPT HER, like onyakapon and even yelena, minor characters, it just feels so UNFAIR, i'm not mad abt death, i breathe angst like it was chocolate it was just so pointless and meaningless and no one even grieves, especially Levi who was closest to her. there was just no room for her in the plot anymore and thats what makes me pissed -

- not bc it was her time, but bc she ran out of uses to the plot and like in GOT where the character is smarter than the author. not only that, she was made so powerless and pathetic and she felt so useless and she died like that. where's the justice? the character arc? right she was there Just to Save Levi :// it's like that quote from gone girl - "the world will know that [man] threw his beloved wife like garbage, and she floated past down all the other abused, unwanted, INCONVENIENT, women"

(sorry for the fem pronouns, i'm all abt anime hange here). and its not like she wasnt a fan favorite, she's top 3 of the last character poll. just bc shes not levi and eren and armin. and cmon. yams had to nerf and minus 100 out of her iq for the INSANE plan of fucking zeke and the yeagerists, can you BELIEVE she trusted and was OUTSMARTED by ZEKE, who legit massacred the survey corps, even though SHE HAD THE SAME LEVEL OF IQ?? but noooo, plot reasons!! shes not eRwIn, what you expect 🙃

im upset, not bc my fav character died but bc it was meaningless (if falco can fly, why tf didnt he do that in the first place) and hollow in logic and in emotion. maybe snk's lesson to us is life is unfair and we should suck it up. it wasn't well earned & yams wrote hanji in a corner, like (again) in GOT where no matter what daenerys chose she was wrong. sorry i dumped all this to you!! if you're still here, thank you for listening to my month long pent up emotions, im still really sad about it

- and idk how to let go? but your writings have definitely made me feel better, it just comforts me like Levi to a bottle of bleach. thank you for still writing!!! about an anime girl in a fictional world and still delivering more emotion than the original author. my heart definitely feels better these days, though it still aches bc she deserves so much better & didnt deserve whatever the fuck she was given, thank you for championing hanji zoe rights! im 99% sure she wont be revived -

but she lives on in your writings and other fanfiction authors and artworks and i'm just so grateful we have a community like this, honestly im just glad you're here :) keep doing what you do and i hope you're safe and warm & healthy!! also to every hanji stans out there one fucking day when we love a character the author wont rip our hearts and throw it to the garbage, im so so sorry for my long long ask but if i could request maybe eren apologizing to hanji inpaths or when she got captured or

or when she died or you choose!! i saw this art by @siroyuki 2015 in twitter where he's hugging her and shit, you should check it out it gave me feels!! i just want her to be loved and appreciated :((( again thank you so much if you made it this far! im sorry if you're annoyed or smthn HHAHAHA i promise this is the last! thank you for your service to humanity we stan 💪😩👌💕💞 

ah don’t you let canon frustrate you, it doesn’t matter anyway :D like you saud, we still have fics and fanarts

however, yeah, i do kinda feel you :/ like the way yams keeps glossing over hange's death is actually a bit weird? like i know they're at war and i know that they have no time for grieving etc but the kids were literally bawling their eyes when hange died but no mention of her sacrifice at all after that? like in 136, gabi said that they should stop the rumbling to repay azumabito's kindness and that's ummmmmmm.... a little bit weird. sure, gabi is a little girl with no connection to hange but reiner, jean and connie were there, when gabi said that and they saw hange’s sacrifice, so why not say something like “yeah, we can’t let commander hange’s sacrifice go to waste?” like come on. what did azumabito do? let falco transform on the board of her ship, so now she travels on a boat? i don't think that can compare to hange's acts though. she literally brought these mfs who were ready to jump at each other's throat together and then she sacrificed her own life to give them yet another chance at success. a sacrifice that was proved to be utterly meaningless in the very next chapter? why did falco learn about his ability to fly only after hange died? why didn't he discover it upon first transformation? :/

oh, and speaking of hange's character arc? like i get it, she was depressed, she struggled with her role as a commander (even though she did everything she could and she did a damn good job at it). and i guess that this plotline was kinda resolved when she heard that erwin approved of her actions? and that's cool, if what we've seen was actually an afterlife and not hange's hallucination. because if it was indeed a product of her mind then that's, um, kinda depressing bro. hange was so desperate for someone's approval that she dreamed about it while literally dying. i just don't understand why yams didn't include a scene where kids tell her how much they respect her and what an honor it was to serve under her command or SOMETHING. but as it is, hange died, thinking she was weak and useless and, um, yeah, certainly not the end you want for your favorite character :)

so yeah, hange's death was kinda meaningless and pointless - it didn't serve the plot whatsoever + it could have been very easily avoided 

[vtmb2s]

I had this from an ask meme from like 2 months ago or so and deleted the og post, I dunno why -_-  anyway it was in my google docs so I’m reposting it

🔥

How did they first meet? What was their first impression of each other?

You know… fun Zion Canyon trip!! (credit for this one goes to Dany cause I don’t have good ideas but the whole ordeal would actually happen pre-game, because that’s when the courier would most likely sign up for a caravan I think) 

Audrey thought Follows-Chalk was just messing with her when he said who they were gonna meet, no way this guy is still alive. Needless to say she hates him, she’s heard enough horrendous things about him in her NCR days to form her opinion. He didn’t like her much either aaaghhh how can you see through my fake atonement thing where I’m basically doing the same as before. (she doesn’t really see through it initially, she’s just too stubborn to buy the whole redemption arc thing from the beginning and ends up realizing that she just happened to be right). Understanding why she doesn’t trust him but also resenting that. 

Who felt romantic feelings first?

fjjhdsjhd he does probably, vaguely. She has a much harder time accepting it considering his background and all that, so that came later.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

YEAH! Both actually, enemies to vaguely friends to lovers and all that but like I said, Audrey has a much harder time coming to terms with this, she feels a little stupid about it because she knows what this guy has done!!! ( and he knows that, hence why he’s pushing it all down in favor of his stupid little revenge thing) He’s so weird and just looks like a mummy, what is there to like objectively. But she does. What thematic parallels do to a mfer 😔

Who initiated the relationship?

She did… Canyon visit nr 2, she technically fucking hates it there but for some reason she wants to go back (well. you know why), perhaps just a little vacation. And well there was clearly something there so why act on it. The most embarrassing moment of her life but it’s worth it I suppose. 

Who said “I love you” first?

Also her… Sorry queen you have to do all the work

Who gets jealous easily?

I think him but not in a way where he’d say anything, he’s just like 😐 but you can’t see it because. bandages. And Audrey has no competition lol so. 

Who is more protective?

Also him, she gets into more stupid shit and isn’t as crazy. 

Who remembers the little things?

She does :)

Who uses the cheesier pickup lines?

God neither. They’re too weird for pickup lines. If anything Audrey would list a few bad ones she overheard on the strip as a joke.

What does a first date look like for them?

They don’t go on dates lmao. What is there to do in a canyon, they’d just go to some random place where there are no other people and talk about whatever.

What do they like to do together?

Just mundane things, doing random shit while one is talking about whatever. A lot of times it’s just Audrey chatting about something funny or weird that happened to her on her travels while she puts on one of her favorite holotapes and does something, her stories are more light-hearted after all :/

Other than that… nothing too insane, they’re too weird to have proper hobbies. Her making him read his stupid mormon bible out loud so she can hear his sexy grandpa voice 😍

Do they like PDA?

No -_- maybe hand holding when no one’s looking, if anything. 

What are their big spoon / little spoon arrangements?

God he’s probably gonna die if she tries to spoon.

Does one like the cuddle more than the other?

She does but it’s not really possible sometimes. Leans against him until he's like aha. okay that’s enough :/

Who hogs the blankets?

Audrey does. She never sleeps much when she’s travelling so when she finally does get a proper night’s rest it’s limbs thrown around. Taking the entire blanket for herself. Sleeping for 20 years.

Do either of them like to cook?

I can’t imagine either, she just does it out of necessity. She can’t cook though, it’s blamco mac and cheese every mf day.

If they get married, who proposes first?

Godddd realistically he would at least think about it but they don’t get married lol. The mental image of it makes me cringe too much.

What kind of wedding do they have?

:/

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? Does anyone object to their relationship? 

NO LMAOOOOO no one wanted them to get together and pretty much everyone would object to it if they knew. She probably doesn’t tell her family but if they knew they’d be against it, for obvious reasons. She doesn’t tell her friends either except Callisto lol, who thinks it’s epic somehow. Great Khan past and all that, not that she agrees with the legion in any way but 🤷‍♀️

Do they have any kids?

Maybe they do… maybe not. Who knows, I don’t control them.

(I made up two but Idek if they exist. a son named Ben and a daughter, Rachel. they’re weird and that’s all you need to know)

Do they have any pets?

I was gonna say no but she still has Rex who she forgot to return to the King 💔

DIANA/KING

How did they first meet? What was their first impression of each other?

In the followers' camp, not long after she moved to Freeside :) iirc the King tells a story about how he went to the Followers Camp to seek help regarding Rex and ended up yelling at them and even knocking out a few doctors.. something similar, one of his guys got their ass beat and the King got impatient and asked why tf this is taking so long. And Diana told him to sit his ass down and wait, which resulted in an argument 🙄 As for the first impression. Diana thought he was just your typical annoying man, maybe sexy and in a cooler suit than the guys on the strip, but annoying nonetheless. And the King thought she was being rude and had a big mouth. But again, kind of in a sexy way.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

THE KING… pretty quickly actually. A few months after the argument they had at the old mormon fort. For Diana on the hand it took a little bit longer :/

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Hm not really, but like I said Diana didn’t really fall that fast for him. She met him shortly after she left the Gomorrah (she was a dancer, not a prostitute but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t seen and experienced some shit) so she’s not really thinking about men and pretty much ignores him flirting with her (also he stops once he finds out about her past lol). She figures she likes him because they do have the same principles and something about being good people in a shitty world and all that so there’s a lot of admiration there, also their shared love for music and stuff. Elvis things. But she’s trying to heal from the shit she witnessed at the strip so no thanks!! Until… until...

Who initiated the relationship?

Well… technically him, he was the first one to flirt with her probably but she never really paid any attention to it. The actual relationship though.. her.

Who said “I love you” first?

Diana but I think he would have said it too… she was just faster 😌

Who gets jealous easily?

Both do. She’s sexy so nasty old men will flirt with her while she’s doing her job but the King doesn’t have to know that because he would be MAD. Diana on the hand will act like she’s mad at him when random people are being a little too friendly with him -_-

Who is more protective?

HE IS… that one text post about saying “that’s my wife” and punching someone. Yeah.

Who remembers the little things?

He does :) Little things she likes, her favorite song or stupid little things she finds funny… sigh

Who uses the cheesier pickup lines?

THE KING but unironically. Some Elvis shit, telling her she got him “all shook up” or something and she’s into it!!!

What does a first date look like for them?

He wouldn’t say this counts (she would) but technically that one time she was doing some random music thing with her freeside kids for fun and he showed up to talk to her and Diana was like. Hey wait, why don’t you stay and sing something for these kids :-) it was stupid but fun I guess and they hung out after, her saying how impressed she was because her kids were having a good time and so was she :)

What do they like to do together?

Like on the (unofficial) first date, doing random performances together. I guess he can sing (I think?? all Elvis impersonators can sing in my mind) and she’s a dancer so.. fun!! Other than that, watching random Kings member #58 perform on their little stage, going to ugly Freeside Casinos and leaving immediately after they lose 3 caps, just fun things!! Also he likes to listen to her talking about random stuff she read in her magazines. 

Do they like PDA?

Fuck yeah… Diana constantly having her legs in his lap whenever possible, him having his arm around her shoulders or on her waist all the time. Physical contact but in a cool way. 

What are their big spoon / little spoon arrangements?

They wouldn’t spoon I think but she’d sleep on his arm :) wakes up and it’s numb but that’s okay

Does one like the cuddle more than the other?

Like I said. constant physical contact (but in a cool way) but actual cuddling WOULD be a thing in private.

Who hogs the blankets?

Diana -_-

Do either of them like to cook?

l can’t imagine him being able to cook but she can. Yes I do the cooking yes I do the cleaning. 

If they get married, who proposes first?

There’s no real proposal probably, It would just come up in a conversation and they’d decide to have one of these quick Las Vegas weddings.

What kind of wedding do they have?

Again. One of these quick Las Vegas weddings… people get married by the King but who marries HIM 😔 (probably one of the other kings). It’s not much but it fits them, I don’t think huge wasteland weddings are much of a thing anyway (or weddings in general) sooo...

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? Does anyone object to their relationship? 

No one objected, except maybe annoying ass Pacer for literally no reason and some random followers :/ As for Pippa and Isabel (Diana’s besties), they didn’t meet before she started dating the king so they obviously weren’t rooting for them to get together but they wouldn’t object to it either, I think. Isabel certainly doesn’t, she likes the King and thinks they fit. Idk what Pippa thinks she’s not my oc, but I don’t think she’d object to it either.

Do they have any kids?

NO lmao. No biological ones at least, Diana has her Freeside orphans though that she takes care of (kinda), they’re basically her kids. She even refers to them as such :-)

Do they have any pets?

Heh… Rex :-)

GEORGIE/C*RVO

How did they first meet? What was their first impression of each other?

In the distillery district 😳 On the first mission, Georgie prob caught him sneaking around her clinic (by accident) and was like. WTF get out with your creepy mask… wait ACTUALLY since you’re good at sneaking can you get me [random thing for her medical research that she has tried to get her hands on for ages] and i can give you a discount on health potions and free leeches 😏 NPC behavior… 

Georgie thought the mask looked fucked up and he seemed mysterious but well. She meets strange people every day so 🤷‍♀️ Also she thinks it’s kind of sexy. He thought she was a bit strange, but ig he liked her. She’s funny. 

Who felt romantic feelings first?

GEORGIE. relatively quickly actually, she really likes him early on but she doesn’t really say anything with Jess’ death being so recent :/ He does… later on, about two or three years after dh1, probably when she’s on official business in dunwall tower (YES underqualified royal physician Georgie is a thing now 💕) and she remarks a random cut he has on his cheek & turns his face to get a closer look and he’s like 😳😳😳😳 why do I like that she just did that. Love Wins.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Her kind of, again with the whole Jessamine thing because it was so recent and she’s like aaagh i'm not gonna hit on a guy in mourning so she tries to ignore it 😐 

Who initiated the relationship?

GOD technically Georgie, she didn’t say anything of course because she’s too weird but she does kiss him first... and makes him leave right after :/

Who said “I love you” first?

He does… Georgie would NEVER say it first and doesn’t say it right back immediately but. He knows she’s weird about things so it’s okay.

Who gets jealous easily?

Her. That is a thing. 

Who is more protective?

Both :-) 

Who remembers the little things?

Also both but mostly him. Remembering the weird little things she offhandedly mentioned she likes. Or her little plague research things. 

Who uses the cheesier pickup lines?

Both but they’d just whisper them to each other for funsies when they’re somewhere. In public.

What does a first date look like for them?

They wouldn’t have a proper official first date but it’d likely be some random event they’d both be at when she’s the royal physician (I don’t think she’d get invited to anything but well. Maybe the Boyles run out of crazy things to do at their parties and invite her) Or taking a walk at Dunwall’s somewhat nicer-looking docks. Something boring. 

What do they like to do together?

Also boring things. They’re old, nothing too crazy. Chatting about random stuff whenever she’s over at Dunwall tower, taking walks in the gardens together and watching ships or something, talking shit about aristocrats that they find annoying or just about weird hobbies, maybe she can bring him along to meet her friends (who he already knows) to look at rats in alleyways but he eats them idk. Summons a whole swarm of rats but they end up trying to kill them 

Do they like PDA?

NO. I don’t think she’d be too much into the whole ~aristocrat life~ after becoming the royal physician and just does business-related things but neither would want people talking about this. Semi-secret relationship for no reason and they’re both more private sooo

What are their big spoon / little spoon arrangements?

She’s the little spoon.. likes being held :)

Who hogs the blankets?

He does -_-

Do either of them like to cook?

No lol

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? Does anyone object to their relationship? 

I think the only person really knowing of this is Marzanna (AGAIN. by dany… Georgie is also besties with Slackjaw… the Rat Smackers. but she wouldn’t tell him about this lol), who would probably not object to it?? but I don’t think anyone else would be rooting for them. I guess Emily likes her as her cool doctor but NO WAY that’s gonna be her stepmom :/

Do they have any kids?

No :/

Do they have any pets?

Georgie has a cat. Not together though, Pluto is hers.

[meganharperr-blog]

COVID-19 Day 3

Why did I start on day 3 you might ask? Well day 1 was reserved for crying, self pity, deep bouts of depression, restless anxiety, and a shit ton of edibles. Day 2 was consumed by coming up with a plan. So let’s back track to what I can remember about those days and the questions I have been asked:

1.  What made you get tested? Did you have symptoms? I very honestly get routine tests. If I am exposed to larger groups of people than my norm, I get tested. If I have a bunch of makeup gigs, I get tested. I get tested for my clients and customers. It is my moral obligation and civil duty to make sure I am 100% healthy to perform justifiably in all the fields I conduct business…which is a vast amount of service based income. I am a makeup artist, and Esthetician, and a Bartender. I either have my hands physically on someone or I am serving masses of people at a given time. Now doing all of this I have become insanely hyper aware of sanitation. In my studio I have Clorox wipes at arms reach, I sanitize with Barbicide and I am Barbicide certified, all sheets and blankets get washed after every client, and if you have had your makeup done by me before you know I wont use the same brush twice and it must be sanitized in-between clients. This has all been second nature to me for years. So when I had a bunch of photoshoots and clients on the books I knew it was time to get tested for peace of mind. Only a week and 1/2 after my last COVID test. The only thing I can even consider a symptom would be the night before I had a headache. I took Advil and it went away no problem. I was also on my cycle and having cramps…or could they have been “body pains”? Shit idk. All I know is I made a joke about having COVID on my way to my rapid testing…

2. Have you heard that the rapid tests are not as accurate? When I got my results back in 15 min and it was my first ever positive I was shocked. I did not trust it right away and pretty much everyone in my circle said get a second opinion. So I got 2 more. One was another rapid test. The other would get back to me in 3 days. I mentally claimed it was a false positive. 

My brain: “shiiiit. There aint no way. No way in hell girl. You careful as shit. You got all these blessings coming your way. Business is booming. Opportunities are rising. Aint no slowing down for 2 weeks right now.” 

I of course made my partner come with me and get a rapid test as well as the test that would take 3 days to get back to us. While waiting for the results I wanted to get vitamins and snacks and what ever else I may need if this does become my reality. We get to Publix and my heart sinks into my asshole and I’m like…. SHOULD I EVEN GO IN THERE?! The anxiety started building right then and there. I thought to myself “Just keep your mask on, Social distance, you know wtf goin on just be safe” … as we get into the store I wasn’t feeling it. I saw older people around me and I just didn’t feel right and in that moment my phone started to ring. I bursted into tears and couldn’t even stay in the store. I just knew it. It was legit.. 

The lady on the phone was so nice. She asked if it was what I expected to hear and I honestly said “no”. Because I just knew I didn’t have it. I knew how careful I had been.I am not a perfect person by any means but I see y'all reckless ass Mfer’s out there and we are not the sameeeee man shit nawwww this couldn't happen to me. But it did. 

3. How did you get it? OMFG IDK! I have exhausted my brain with this question. How could this happen to me? Shit did I drop my mask at some point? Did I get too close to someone outside at ( insert bar name here ) when I went to have a drink on Saturday night? But it was outside? 

Googles : “Can you catch COVID outside? “

    “Can you catch COVID with a mask on?”

    “Can you catch COVID from  it being on your clothing?”

    “Can you catch COVID from a toilet seat?”

I mean you name it I Googled it. And the unfortunate answer was yes to all of the above. I got tested on the 4th. So I know I got it sometime after that. I of course contacted everyone I came in contact with….which was horrible! I felt freaking terrible!!! I swear it was worse than narrowing down an STD culprit. It’s like shit… you get an STD…you hit up your top 5, or top 10…look idk your life like that…and have everyone get tested. Let’s be real though you got it narrowed down and think you probably know who did you dirty….Get the results back and boom its over with. Take the meds move on with your life no-one has to know. COVID on the other hand can fucking KILL YEW, PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT, GRANDMAS THAT THEY CARE ABOUT, CHILDREN WITH PRE-EXISTING ISSUES, IT CAN KILL PEOPLE. So you gotta back track back track. Make sure all bases are covered especially when you work multiple outlets which is mad important these days. THE MORAL of all this is… idk. Idk how I got it. I am mad careful. I be judging you on social media for being out and reckless without a mask on. I get tested frequently. I have hand sanitizer in every bag I own, in my car, and all over my home. I AM A NEAT FREAK and a GERMY! I am careful. To say the least..but not perfect I am sure after working 10 hours in a mask I have let it fall for a few min! I am sure on my bike I have dropped it out of pure exhaustion. I know I have tried hard, but I am still human and this is all new.  So y’all non-maskers out there think you on to something…in reality you could have it too and not even know. Psh. Anyways. Next question…

4. Does your partner have it too? No. Somehow no. This is where we had to start coming up with a plan. We work together so this puts us both out of work. LUCKILY we have been saving incase of a shut down and we also have back up savings for a home we *hope* to purchase next year so that plan was solid…. But how to keep him healthy? Just because I do not have symptoms does not mean his body will react the same way. I need to make sure he does not get infected as well. We are going to continue to get him tested for the next several days to monitor that. He is quarantining and I am in what is called “isolation”for a minimum of 14 days. We try our best to stay in different rooms. We have a tiny apartment with one bathroom, so I am just constantly sanitizing right now. Everything I touch or may have touched gets a Clorox wipe. We both wear masks 24/7 in the house. Even if he goes outside to walk the dog, I am keeping a mask on. I have learned so much in the past 48 hours about contracting the virus that I do not even want to risk a drop of my saliva in this house. I am doing disposable masks every day. I luckily have plenty of masks and gloves from working on clients. If I cook I wash my hands, sanitize, then put on gloves. We eat in separate rooms or at the edge of the room so it feels like we are eating together. We are really trying our best and that is some shit they do not prepare you for. Your partner has to be careful around you. They cannot touch you or even come near you and sometimes have to remind you of that. Try to do chores in separate rooms. Try to not get your feelings hurt because its not that they don’t want to be around you, but it is dangerous and they cannot be. So my poor lil feelings keep getting hurt, but I’m a tough gal it’ll be alright I just want to make sure he stays healthy. 

5. Can you breathe? So this brings us to day 3. We have a plan. It has been working. I have my little cleaning things I am doing in one room, he has his in another…and I am pretty much in Go Mode. Before all of this I had a Cleaning Babe coming to help me with things so I had a list for her. I just embodied her and did the list myself plus some major decluttering. I have a ton of clothes to donate (that I am letting sit bagged up for 14 days just to be cautious before donating…some shit I read idk…might get anxious and throw it all away…tbd) so while I am going to town cleaning out my abyss I start to get really short of breath and kinda lethargic. I laid down on the bed to catch my breath for several minutes then took a little break from cleaning. This is the first time I have felt any type of crazy. I still have a lot of anxiety about the days to come. Will it get worse? Will I start to feel like actual hell on earth? Will I be able to keep my partner safe? Shit idk but I am trying really hard. They simply do not tell you about the anxiety that you will have. It is normal. You are going to be generally overwhelmed if you are a good person. Just stay good. and Stay aware.... and Stay tuned. I may not write every single day. But I will keep you updated. If you have any helpful stuff for me to read, please send it my way! If you have any questions feel free to ask. If you have been in this situation with a live in positive and negative… what’s your advice? My DM’s and PM’s are open. 

[dancing-cockroaches]

People who don’t forgive an occasional fumble in a social situation are not worth being friends with anyway. You’ll find you people. (you will have to put yourself out there tho)

I've tried. I started using that app, Meetup, years ago. The problem with that app is that a lot of the time they're already established groups that have connections so I'd end up having that "third wheel" feeling. Before I moved, I found a gamer girl group on there and decided to go to the meetup they had. It went fine, although the games I played were not in common with the rest of the group (I'm not saying that to be contrarian, the popular games within the group from what I can recall were games i have honestly tried and just did not like), I went on to attend the second meetup where I completely fell out. I really had nothing to add to conversations and just didnt click. After that a lot was going on I didnt have time for groups, so I tried again earlier this year now in a different state. It was terrible. It was for a book club, actually found through facebook. I went to the meetup and I thought I didnt do too bad. I got a long message from the organizer critiquing my social skills, saying I constantly spoke out of turn (which I didnt, maybe once but she made it out as if I was being intentionally rude - I'm very nervous about speaking over people, so I watch out for that, and I avoid as much as I can but being in a large group mistakes happen), kept going off topic which again I didnt do and even if I did, they stated themselves they go off topic a lot.. I just felt kicked back into isolation. But I made my own book club. Kept in contact with everyone about the details, no one showed up. Tried organizing it over zoom, no one showed up.

I feel like that message I got from the organizer from the first book club really kicked me when I was already down hard. I already knew my social skills weren't sharp, but they weren't atrocious. It's not like i was a total recluse for the past 5 years, I've gone to hang out with my husbands friends (who he met in high school so he has admitted to having no clue about how to make friends as an adult either, we met on tinder so not like thats a way to make friends lol, but it's less of a concern to him since he already has a large group that half of moved since HS... so like at this point these mfers live in all different parts of the country) and some even visited us after we moved and none of them have a single bad thing to say about me or act like I'm weird so it's not like my social skills have completely atrophied. Just trying to find friends of my own as an adult has not been successful. Especially girls, like there were barely any girls in my high school, and my husbands friends are all men except when theyd have gfs come and go, so it would be nice to have someone to hang out with that idk.. isnt a man for once lol. Like my husband has tried to fill the gap by watching trash reality TV with me, but he has drawn the line at letting me paint his nails or put makeup on him.

[lettersfrombeyondthegrave]

If I had musician skills I'd start releasing music and putting "remastered" and like an ueara in the 2000's. And everyone will be like oh when where the originals? I never heard of this. Anybody knows? And nobody knows because I made that shit up. And the. They'll look at me and be like "wdym 2008 remastered this mfer was clearly a child in 2008 what the hell" and then in interviews I'd say oh no I did it myself. It's not songs of like a parent or smth. I made this :) and they're gonna ask when it was originally made and I'm gonna start panicking and anxiously look around and make the Convo awkward and say we don't talk about that. Please let's change subject. I prefer not to say that.

And the more it'll go the more the opinions are gonna be divided between "ugh clearly a publicity stunt" and ppl rlly invested in understanding what I'm talking about. And the more they'll push the more I'll say bits. Oh I can't, really, I can't say that. Oh yeah you could say it's... A contract in a way. Really I can't say more. it's a secret haha anyway. No please don't make me say anything. I had an agreement yes with someone. I don't know who. I know who. We know who. You know ewho. Haha idkkk lol. Please I can't say anything else. It involved blood. I can't ,really I can't. And I'll continue to use the remastered format and people will just drop it and become accustomed with it even if it's still eerie as people start talking AB it as a joke and I still am very serious about the whole thing. Deadly serious. And I'll get rich. Buy a manor or make build one. I'm talking gothic, I'm talking 1800, castle, and throw parties in it, disco vampire I'm talking. And this would be in half secret btw, I started ""hiding"" from when I started living in the manor. So from time to time article pops up "new shots from [insert name]'s hiding spot making yet another fabulously dark party, will they ever return to music?

Then I'd return. Hyping the whole thing. Going to talk shows. This time it's not remastered. Hyped a whole album, saying all the experiences at the manor gave me so much inspo, how much it's haunted and old (yes even if I built it). Then I'd make a singular post on all social media platforms saying "It's out now." And then a link to a website. Start your experience. And another link for the physical preorder. And it has a whole aesthetic. The "main track" starts after few clicks in this gothic inspired vintage adventuresque website yk. And it's hyping up the actual start of the song. Then black screen.music fades into radio noises bullshit then silence. Website automatically redirects to YouTube. It's the rickroll. The second link gives you just the image of a lemonade. A random lemonade. I never mentioned lemonade ever in my entire career. Ever. I change identity and disappear again. Buy my own manor. "Look at this young entrepreneur with a love for the internet buy the manor of [insert name], quote, "for the memes", how funny!" I adopt cats. Still have enough to live comfortably. Give the rest to charities and my numerous lovers.

When I die, a letter is sent to the medias. Omg before passing away the left this. For those of you who don't know who this insternet sensation is, it all started-. And it's a long letter. Passionate. I hired people to make it, afterall. Amazing letter. It builds up my reasons. At the end I finally explain. "Idk I thought it was funny lol". Point blank end of the letter. Nothing else. Videos of the biggest fans go around, saying cheers and drinking lemonade "this one for you."

People will speculate in the years the strangest things. In reality I just felt like it. I'm dead. I don't care. I live gay and vampiringly and that's what matters.

[bakurapika]

OK I played Detroit Become Human and accidentally powered through it in 2 sessions. I want to get my thoughts down before I start listening to plot recaps to find out what I meant. 

I knew, going into it, that it had some offensive portrayals/bad handling of slavery and race and took itself too seriously. I had been spoiled for the ending (specifically, the choices that affect the Markus run) and decided to play it balls-to-the-wall Kill All Humans. Rambling and spoilers below the cut. TW for violence, racism, suicide mentions.

Top of the dome, I might post more thoughts as I have them.

So first big surprise: I thought this was a Connor story with a few other characters thrown in for flavor. Nope! Connor was a very small part of my playthrough along with his once-in-a-while detective skills.

The big bad thing about the Connor run is that Hank did commit suicide and that was way too real, right in the middle of otherwise fun reckless violence. The choice tree made it seem unavoidable. Connor knew about the symptoms way ahead of time, and I thought he would immediately try to get Hank some help. He didn’t and it’s never discussed why. I think that they thought the “Hank is suicidal” revelation early on would get ignored by players instead of being a giant “hold the phone, stop the game, wait.” The scene is also super uncomfortable because 1) I as a player knew what was going to happen and 2) Connor isn’t being mind-controlled and can intervene, but doesn’t.

OK. So besides that, Connor is a ton of fun. 

A friend of mine says that Connor having the inability to lie is supposed to be a huge deal but LOL NO. Half of his dialogue was just choosing to lie.

Also I accidentally got stuck in a cutscene where Connor decides out of nowhere to torture someone in the lunch room so mfer is already a no-morals weirdo. Zero empathy for anyone, shooting folks all day and night. I did make him incompetent to balance things out, don’t worry, so he did a real bad job of catching criminals. When I had him join Markus, that was basically a redemption arc.

Was very much rooting for him and Markus to kiss at the end there.

Speaking of the end, the Alice reveal really did blindside me (although it dovetailed nicely into a Kill All Humans playthrough since I was making a single exception). How did she get a fever??? 

I also am now married to Luther. We haven’t had a single conversation I don’t think, but we’re great at the nuclear family thing. Kara asked so many people to sacrifice her life but we got through the border no problem thanks to that. 

Alice was like “is that little baby gonna die??” and I was like, no Alice. They’re human. They’re gonna stay in a motel. It’s fine. But the game was instead like, “Yes honey. Yes they will.”

The ending was soooo long, it was an hour after the denouement when it blissfully ended, but for the most part I was having a grand time.

Josh was so weird. “I disagree with your decision to murder everyone in sight, but I will lay down my life for your right to do it.” He seemed mad when I let North die but then told me later that I had no choice so he was cool with it lol. I felt a little bad because that seemed OOC but I didn’t like North. She was so judgey and like “Don’t kill people!” but then when I killed people she got turned on? And we shared tragic backstories which made our relationship show as “lovers” and I was horrified. She also was in charge of this gang until Markus showed up literally like 3 days ago, took over by force, then trashed the entire city, so why is she so flirty and not mega-pissed? I think that’s why she seemed so weird - they tried to make her pissed because it made sense, but also a love interest, so it was just icky and weird.

Also it seemed implied that she was one of the lesbians we didn’t shoot and I am only JUST now realizing that we were probably supposed to shoot her girlfriend so she would be single. But I didn’t so that was just another very strange contradictory aspect of her character.

I know almost nothing about Hank. He had a son, hated androids but also not really, likes some bad music, and has a dog. That is all I learned about him in the entire game. I thought they would make Connor stop giving him snide comebacks and force them to bond but nope!

 I still think the cars have AI and should have gotten liberated.