#mezalians

[st-anczyk69]

tak to widzę

[enderspawn]

mezalian king joel will literally wake up in an unknown location with nothing familiar in sight and none of the people he knew being the same and be like “is anyone gonna add moss to this meza tho” then doesn’t wait for an answer

[fantasykiri5]

would you draw an esmp 1 joel?

One slutty, slutty sculptor, coming right up!

He’s admiring his handiwork

[thenopequeen]

Who's seen Joel's latest short?

Competing with Lizzie to find the coolest thing in Minecraft in five minutes

Joel finds a heart of the sea

Lizzie crafts orange glazed terracotta

Did they try to give me empires season one feels? Unclear

Did they succeed? Definitely

[actuallydanica]

I second this motion

like to punt joel smallishbeans into the sun reblog to punt joel smallishbeans into the sun

[theleigeofnerd]

Jimmy: “So these are the summer homes I built, then this is one Sausage built, and this is one that some guy who called himself the “Mezalian King” built-“

Pixelriffs, an A class nerd: “I’M SORRY IT WAS BUILT BY THE WHO-“

[bluesolarflare]

hihihi may i request the mezalian king plz? for art btw :)

Little man (affectionate)

[rebootgrimm]

You've Got a Friend In Me (1356 words) by RebootGrimm Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Empires SMP Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Saint Pearl | Santa Perla | La Madre de Girasoles (Empires SMP), Jimmy | Solidarity, Joel | SmallishBeans, NOT RPF - Character, Mythical Sausage mentioned, Fwhip mentioned, Codfather mentioned Additional Tags: No beta we die like Pearl at the end of season 1, Fluff, angst at the end if you squint, Canon Divergence Summary: Jimmy prays to whoever listens as a desperate attempt to get Joel to stop. It goes better than he thought it would.

Take 2 at uploading this shit to tumblr lmao. Gonna post the fic under the cut as well

It was a regular day in Santa Pearla’s afterlife. She was drinking some tea while sitting at her dining table. Suddenly, Pearl heard someone praying. This stood out to her because not only did she not recognise the voice, they weren’t even praying to her specifically. She decided to listen in, though. Pearl had always loved helping people, even before she became a Saint.

“Uhm.. hello anyone who might pay attention to this. My name’s Jimmy and I’m the Sheriff of Tumble Town. I kind of have an issue with the God on the server, Joel. He keeps calling me a toy because my Sheriff outfit looks like Woody. If you don’t know who that is, he’s a children’s movie character. He’s gotten all of the other rulers involved and I was hoping someone could help out. I’m not sure how to end a prayer since I’m not exactly religious so uhm thanks and bye?”

Pearl did not see that coming. Joel, the Demi-God who was being watched by the other Gods to see if he was fit to ascend? Joel, who used to be the Mezalian King and best friends with the Cod Father, who shares the same name as the Sheriff? Yeah, she was going to drag that man from Stratos herself and make him apologize. Also, Joel had gotten all of the rulers involved? Pearl was assuming that it included Sausage. The same Sausage that had ascended from Afterlife as an angel and was currently asleep in his room while experiencing life down on earth as a human? The same Sausage who was her best friend 1,000 years ago when they were both human? That Sausage? She was definitely going to make him apologize later. First things first, she had to deal with the root of the problem, Joel Beans.

Pearl sent a duck with a note tied to it telling the Sheriff that she was going to make Joel apologize and to wait outside his house. Not too long after, Santa Pearla arrived at Stratos. Joel turned around and saw her and waved. He then noticed she was upset.

“Pearl?” Joel started, “are you okay? You look a bit mad.”

A bit? A bit mad?! She was beyond pissed at this point! If looks could kill, Joel would be dead. Pearl grabbed Joel by the ear and started chewing him out.

“You are in SO MUCH TROUBLE. Why have you been going around bullying one of the rulers and calling him a toy?! And why have you gotten all of the other rulers involved?!”

Joel tried to squirm out of Pearl’s grasp, but couldn’t. He still tried to look cocky like he usually does, but he just ended up looking oddly awkward.

“Oh, you mean Woody? There’s no need to worry about it, Pearl! It’s all fun and games, a mutual joke between all of the rulers!” Joel was lying through his teeth and Pearl knew it. She took her hand off of his ear and instead grabbed his shoulder, using her other hand to grab Joel’s face so that way he had no choice but to look at her. “If it were a joke between friends, then why did Jimmy decide to pray to whoever would listen for help?!”

That did it, Joel officially looked terrified. He had been caught and he knew it. He tried again to get out of Pearl’s grasp but couldn’t. Pearl then grabbed Joel by the ear again and started flying towards Tumble Town. Joel had two choices by this point, start flying along or try to resist Pearl’s grasp and get his ear torn off. Obviously, Joel chose the first option and started flying along as well.

“Uhm, where are we going exactly?” Joel sounded nervous, but it made sense since him and his ear were under Pearl’s mercy. “To Tumble Town. You need to apologize.” The rest of the flight was silent.

After a flight that felt like hours, but probably was actually 20 minutes, the two deities arrived at Tumble Town. Jimmy was outside, holding the duck Pearl sent underneath his right arm. The duck looked happy and content. Jimmy on the other hand, his emotion couldn’t be considered just one. He looked nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. Pearl landed and slightly shoved Joel towards Jimmy.

“Go on, apologize.” Pearl glared at Joel expectantly and Joel mumbled something that neither Pearl nor Jimmy could understand. “Repeat that, Joel?” Pearl talked with anger in her voice, her tone sounding sharp. “I-I’m sorry, Jimmy.” Joel said, reluctantly. He also sounded slightly terrified. Yet again, it made sense given the current circumstances. Jimmy looked at the duck, seemingly thinking. The duck looked back at Jimmy and the two just stared at each other for about a minute. Jimmy looked back at Joel and responded. “I appreciate the apology Joel, but I do not forgive you. You are the start of the toy themed disrespect towards me. I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t done the best job as Sheriff, but it doesn’t warrant anything you’ve done. Heck, you literally shrank me down to the size of a toy! Now, I’d like for you to leave. Now.”

Joel didn’t say anything. He just nodded and flew away. Jimmy promptly sat down, holding the duck in his lap. “Oh, Butter, what are we going to do now?” Pearl shapeshifted to a regular human height, somewhere in the 5’2-5’5 range, and sat down near Jimmy. “How’d you guess his name?” Pearl asked with a chuckle. This caused Jimmy to jump a little before responding, “I don’t know, he just looked like his name would be butter.” Jimmy did have a point, Butter was fully yellow except for his eyes and beak.

“So uh…” Jimmy started, “do I like, owe you anything?” Pearl waved that thought away with a few flicks of her hand while responding. “Nonsense! It was the least I could do. He was being watched as a potential God candidate anyways. Or, he should be anyway. With all that’s happened he either hasn’t been watched or he’s off the list.” Jimmy gasped in surprise as a response. “Really? He’s been going around telling everyone that he’s a God.” “Yeah, and it’s a lie. He’s just a demi-god with an ego the size of a mountain.” That comment made Jimmy chuckle. It wasn’t like Pearl was wrong, though. She wasn’t on the observation team, but she did help out once when one of the members got sick. From what she had seen, there was no way he should’ve been an option, and that was before Stratos ever existed.

“Is there anyone else you’d like me to get in check, or no? The second easiest to reel in would be Sausage due to him having a church for me, but I can handle anyone.” Pearl watched Jimmy think for a moment before he responded. “The ones that were always the worst to me were Joel and Sausage, so definitely him. Maybe Fwhip too? I’ll have to think about that one.” Pearl nodded, she reasonably knew that the Fwhip that Jimmy was talking about wasn’t the one she knew from the past, just like he wasn’t the Codfather. Still, the name of her old friend hurt inside. Nonetheless, she pushed those feelings down for when she was in her afterlife. Jimmy stood up again, with Butter back under one of his arms. He used the other to offer Santa Pearla some help up. “In the meantime, why don’t I show you around? Tumble Town may not be as showy as the other empires, but I’m really proud of it!” Jimmy had a very happy look on his face, Pearl compared it to how the Codfather looked when he was around his friends? She supposed that she was Jimmy’s friend now, huh? Well, who could say no to a face that happy? She allowed Jimmy to help her up and walked with him as he showed her around. Lecturing Sausage could wait, there was someone who needed a friend almost as badly as she did.

[adina123]

S1 esmp codlands world building headcanon

The cod lands value their alliances and are known to take inspiration from other cultures its not as though they don’t have any original traditions but a good few of them are a direct result of them putting their own spin on foreign cultures and imports from all over the world 

The most well known example is the cod folks famous wood carvings the story goes a long time ago there was a young codish traveler who had stopped to stay the night in a mezalian inn while wondering the streets he could not help but admire the buildings he loved how symmetrical and perfectly placed the tiles were and it stuck with him 

when he returned home he tried to recreate what he saw but he didn’t have the materials needed for it and he realized very quickly that he should have asked how it was made when he was there but hindsight is twenty twenty and he still wanted to try so he decided to ditch the colors and clay he focused on his favorite part 

He went out side and picked up some tree bark he got a knife and scratched the same patterns the tiles were laid out in mezalia on the wood but smaller it was mess but he liked so he kept doing it when ever he got home from his travels he would sit down and carve patterns into the wood as time went on his work got neater and thought it was not as colorful as the tiles they were based on they focused more on little details they became beautiful and when he got old and settled down he started selling his work in the market soon enough it caught on and more people started carving wood for art rather than for utensils and weapons 

Lots of Time has passed since then and along the way it even picked up some religious significance when children reached a certain age they carve a special bead to mark the day they took the oath to protect all cod it’s like a baptism or bat/bar mitzvah there guardian weaves the child a necklace to put the bead on and from then on when ever something significant happens they make another bead to put on the necklace but they only wear it for special occasions these things are so important to a person they never wear them casually and are heavy protected when someone dies they’re beads are hung in a mini cemetery that each family has because you can’t bury someone in a muddy swamp like you could in a dirt field 

The cod father head is very special because when ever a cod father is introduced they create a bead but it doesn’t go on their necklace it goes on the cod father head alongside the beads of the past cod fathers unlike necklaces that are only worn sparingly the cod father head is to be worn every day to symbolize the cod fathers never ending responsibility to protect the legacy of the cod empire a constant reminder of the past present and future generations the cod fathers have to maintain it’s a lot of pressure and needless to say if a cod father were to loose the head or cod forbid have it be destroyed while in their hands well that would be blasphemy 

but in the present long after the man died the art style he fathered keeps evolving with every new artist it gets further away from the tiles and became it’s own thing a art style that is unmistakably a art unique to the cod lands

[katayree]

What if the ocean queen’s last move before forgetting everything was to pass on her godhood to the Mezalian King

Boom

God Joel

[thechanglingchronicles]

Empires season one references in season two go brrr

(I’m literally going to end up having watched everyone’s perspective gahsjjzhsj)

1. Lizzie not being able to control axolotls

2. Shelby putting spirits in her old villiagers

3. The portal to shrubs home land

4. The whole mezalian king appearance

5. Jimmy adding cod to his pond

6. Sausages whole season

[cydanite]

My head canon for crystal cliffs is that it is notorious for being the empire with the worst food 

It is a school and the closest thing they have to a government is the school board and gem

There food is close to what would be served in a school cafeteria because they focus on studying and teaching they like food that is easy to make and cheap to produce 

The students and teachers are forced to get creative and try to find ways to make it more palatable 

They use spell’s to artificially flavor the food or use spells on themselves to change the way their taste buds perceive the taste 

The food is not natural and the while edible the taste is off and noticeably different from what it is trying to emulate ( like how banana flavored candy tastes different from bananas)

One good thing that comes out of this situation is that they are also known for their food lasting years and being well preserved 

They have very manufactured products just like the grimland s which makes sense because most of the students are from the grimland

Ps how are you doing

I'm good, haha! I tend to always hit a bit of a slump come summer, but I'm bouncing back c:

I like this headcanon, the nation full of scholars living on broke college student diets. Why would you take the time to cook a complex meal while in the middle of solving the complex runic sigil pattern that's been tormenting you for weeks now? Instant noodles cook in three minutes, especially when you can magic the water to its boiling point and prestidigitation in any flavor you like.

Adding onto this though, the Crystal Cliffs must have some incredible street foods going on. Tons of people probably visit to either study or to request magical aid, and these visits would not be short lived. There is an incredible market here for quick, convenient, hot food as busy students bustle between classes or leave their dorms for the fifteen minutes of sunlight they'll see that day. On every CC street corner you'll find carts setting Mezalian samosas stuffed with colorful greens and tubers, Mythland smoked blood-mutton kebabs, and Pixandrian honey-coffees brewed in fine sand. The most common of these are the Gilded Helianthian food stands, which tend to sell anything and everything that can be made with in-season ingredients.

[philip-the-nickel]

In keeping with s1, I love seeing Mezalian King Joel show up and promptly flip lore the finger. We stan consistent characterization

[fantasykiri5]

I like to think that a lot of the smaller doorways in the Mezalian Matral Palace are covered by curtains rather than actual doors. My reasoning? Mezalian king Joel is super autistic and (definitely not projecting here) often walks into the actual doors or doesn’t open them far enough to carry anything through, whereas curtains he can just kinda walk through, and the feeling of doing so is nice. Also he likes the way they billow around and likes to draw them.

(Walking between curtains or having them blow on you is really fun for me idk why. Autism moment👍)

(Also they remind him of the Ocean Kingdom! Many of the doorways there are either open or covered by curtains, because doors don’t really work underwater! There are kelp and seaweed curtains underwater :D )

[apollo-the-story-teller]

Holidays in Empires Season 1

JOEL Joel immediately has many holidays, he finds joy and considers it important to have fun. His celebrations are usually nationwide songs and dance, a band or even multiple if enough groups can appear move from spot to spot and they all just have a good time. Reactions: Scott, Pixlriffs, and Fwhip aren’t used to them at all, they barely if at all adjust. Gem, Lizzie, and Katherine have more loose celebrations and while not as wild as Mezalian holidays they can of course get down despite the foreigness. Jimmy, Joey, Sausage, and Shrub are all great guests, they’ve popped up on their own before. Cod Kingdom, Lost Empire, and Mythland all have similar holidays and Shrub well she’s a party animal. PIXLRIFFS Pixandria has few and far holidays, they honor death daily it is part of their lives. They do celebrate other things like harvests but those are with calm feasts, children have lots of games adults will join in on if asked. Reactions: Everyone likes the feasts, Scott, Fwhip, and Gem find the death thing weird. Jimmy was dragged into playing in the river with kids which surprised him. JIMMY The Cod Kingdom’s holidays are like barbeques amongst Southern people. Everyone is now family, contribute as you can. They also play music and dance but there’s no pattern. Reactions: Oddly enough Pixlriffs joins the party this time, the feast and familial vibes get him. Elsewise, when they were told to bring a good portion of their national dishes for a holiday they were scared but it went well! KATHERINE They’re balls or smaller dances in similar formality.  Reactions: Many of them cannot dance SHRUB She just hosts little parties for other emporers, they’re rather tame, or as tame as they can be. Reactions: “What happens at Shrub’s stays at Shrub’s” LIZZIE They’re in the water but same as Katherine Reactions: Several members can like barely swim it was a nightmare FWHIP They get wasted a lot, Grimlands is a mechanical powerhouse. Sometimes they shoot off bombs and rockets for fun. Reactions: There were at least 2 members who didn’t participate at all I’ll give you more later

[fizzlingdrinks]

IT'S MEZALEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [insert that one image where some guy is yelling at another while pushing them against the wall] /lhj /nm

LEAN!!!

MEZALIAN

I’LL WRITE IT WRONG ON PURPOSE IF I WANT TO 😤