#the Mezalian King

[thenopequeen]

Who's seen Joel's latest short?

Competing with Lizzie to find the coolest thing in Minecraft in five minutes

Joel finds a heart of the sea

Lizzie crafts orange glazed terracotta

Did they try to give me empires season one feels? Unclear

Did they succeed? Definitely

[actuallydanica]

I second this motion

like to punt joel smallishbeans into the sun reblog to punt joel smallishbeans into the sun

[theleigeofnerd]

Jimmy: “So these are the summer homes I built, then this is one Sausage built, and this is one that some guy who called himself the “Mezalian King” built-“

Pixelriffs, an A class nerd: “I’M SORRY IT WAS BUILT BY THE WHO-“

[enderspawn]

mezalian king joel will literally wake up in an unknown location with nothing familiar in sight and none of the people he knew being the same and be like “is anyone gonna add moss to this meza tho” then doesn’t wait for an answer

[rebootgrimm]

You've Got a Friend In Me (1356 words) by RebootGrimm Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Empires SMP Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Saint Pearl | Santa Perla | La Madre de Girasoles (Empires SMP), Jimmy | Solidarity, Joel | SmallishBeans, NOT RPF - Character, Mythical Sausage mentioned, Fwhip mentioned, Codfather mentioned Additional Tags: No beta we die like Pearl at the end of season 1, Fluff, angst at the end if you squint, Canon Divergence Summary: Jimmy prays to whoever listens as a desperate attempt to get Joel to stop. It goes better than he thought it would.

Take 2 at uploading this shit to tumblr lmao. Gonna post the fic under the cut as well

It was a regular day in Santa Pearla’s afterlife. She was drinking some tea while sitting at her dining table. Suddenly, Pearl heard someone praying. This stood out to her because not only did she not recognise the voice, they weren’t even praying to her specifically. She decided to listen in, though. Pearl had always loved helping people, even before she became a Saint.

“Uhm.. hello anyone who might pay attention to this. My name’s Jimmy and I’m the Sheriff of Tumble Town. I kind of have an issue with the God on the server, Joel. He keeps calling me a toy because my Sheriff outfit looks like Woody. If you don’t know who that is, he’s a children’s movie character. He’s gotten all of the other rulers involved and I was hoping someone could help out. I’m not sure how to end a prayer since I’m not exactly religious so uhm thanks and bye?”

Pearl did not see that coming. Joel, the Demi-God who was being watched by the other Gods to see if he was fit to ascend? Joel, who used to be the Mezalian King and best friends with the Cod Father, who shares the same name as the Sheriff? Yeah, she was going to drag that man from Stratos herself and make him apologize. Also, Joel had gotten all of the rulers involved? Pearl was assuming that it included Sausage. The same Sausage that had ascended from Afterlife as an angel and was currently asleep in his room while experiencing life down on earth as a human? The same Sausage who was her best friend 1,000 years ago when they were both human? That Sausage? She was definitely going to make him apologize later. First things first, she had to deal with the root of the problem, Joel Beans.

Pearl sent a duck with a note tied to it telling the Sheriff that she was going to make Joel apologize and to wait outside his house. Not too long after, Santa Pearla arrived at Stratos. Joel turned around and saw her and waved. He then noticed she was upset.

“Pearl?” Joel started, “are you okay? You look a bit mad.”

A bit? A bit mad?! She was beyond pissed at this point! If looks could kill, Joel would be dead. Pearl grabbed Joel by the ear and started chewing him out.

“You are in SO MUCH TROUBLE. Why have you been going around bullying one of the rulers and calling him a toy?! And why have you gotten all of the other rulers involved?!”

Joel tried to squirm out of Pearl’s grasp, but couldn’t. He still tried to look cocky like he usually does, but he just ended up looking oddly awkward.

“Oh, you mean Woody? There’s no need to worry about it, Pearl! It’s all fun and games, a mutual joke between all of the rulers!” Joel was lying through his teeth and Pearl knew it. She took her hand off of his ear and instead grabbed his shoulder, using her other hand to grab Joel’s face so that way he had no choice but to look at her. “If it were a joke between friends, then why did Jimmy decide to pray to whoever would listen for help?!”

That did it, Joel officially looked terrified. He had been caught and he knew it. He tried again to get out of Pearl’s grasp but couldn’t. Pearl then grabbed Joel by the ear again and started flying towards Tumble Town. Joel had two choices by this point, start flying along or try to resist Pearl’s grasp and get his ear torn off. Obviously, Joel chose the first option and started flying along as well.

“Uhm, where are we going exactly?” Joel sounded nervous, but it made sense since him and his ear were under Pearl’s mercy. “To Tumble Town. You need to apologize.” The rest of the flight was silent.

After a flight that felt like hours, but probably was actually 20 minutes, the two deities arrived at Tumble Town. Jimmy was outside, holding the duck Pearl sent underneath his right arm. The duck looked happy and content. Jimmy on the other hand, his emotion couldn’t be considered just one. He looked nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. Pearl landed and slightly shoved Joel towards Jimmy.

“Go on, apologize.” Pearl glared at Joel expectantly and Joel mumbled something that neither Pearl nor Jimmy could understand. “Repeat that, Joel?” Pearl talked with anger in her voice, her tone sounding sharp. “I-I’m sorry, Jimmy.” Joel said, reluctantly. He also sounded slightly terrified. Yet again, it made sense given the current circumstances. Jimmy looked at the duck, seemingly thinking. The duck looked back at Jimmy and the two just stared at each other for about a minute. Jimmy looked back at Joel and responded. “I appreciate the apology Joel, but I do not forgive you. You are the start of the toy themed disrespect towards me. I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t done the best job as Sheriff, but it doesn’t warrant anything you’ve done. Heck, you literally shrank me down to the size of a toy! Now, I’d like for you to leave. Now.”

Joel didn’t say anything. He just nodded and flew away. Jimmy promptly sat down, holding the duck in his lap. “Oh, Butter, what are we going to do now?” Pearl shapeshifted to a regular human height, somewhere in the 5’2-5’5 range, and sat down near Jimmy. “How’d you guess his name?” Pearl asked with a chuckle. This caused Jimmy to jump a little before responding, “I don’t know, he just looked like his name would be butter.” Jimmy did have a point, Butter was fully yellow except for his eyes and beak.

“So uh…” Jimmy started, “do I like, owe you anything?” Pearl waved that thought away with a few flicks of her hand while responding. “Nonsense! It was the least I could do. He was being watched as a potential God candidate anyways. Or, he should be anyway. With all that’s happened he either hasn’t been watched or he’s off the list.” Jimmy gasped in surprise as a response. “Really? He’s been going around telling everyone that he’s a God.” “Yeah, and it’s a lie. He’s just a demi-god with an ego the size of a mountain.” That comment made Jimmy chuckle. It wasn’t like Pearl was wrong, though. She wasn’t on the observation team, but she did help out once when one of the members got sick. From what she had seen, there was no way he should’ve been an option, and that was before Stratos ever existed.

“Is there anyone else you’d like me to get in check, or no? The second easiest to reel in would be Sausage due to him having a church for me, but I can handle anyone.” Pearl watched Jimmy think for a moment before he responded. “The ones that were always the worst to me were Joel and Sausage, so definitely him. Maybe Fwhip too? I’ll have to think about that one.” Pearl nodded, she reasonably knew that the Fwhip that Jimmy was talking about wasn’t the one she knew from the past, just like he wasn’t the Codfather. Still, the name of her old friend hurt inside. Nonetheless, she pushed those feelings down for when she was in her afterlife. Jimmy stood up again, with Butter back under one of his arms. He used the other to offer Santa Pearla some help up. “In the meantime, why don’t I show you around? Tumble Town may not be as showy as the other empires, but I’m really proud of it!” Jimmy had a very happy look on his face, Pearl compared it to how the Codfather looked when he was around his friends? She supposed that she was Jimmy’s friend now, huh? Well, who could say no to a face that happy? She allowed Jimmy to help her up and walked with him as he showed her around. Lecturing Sausage could wait, there was someone who needed a friend almost as badly as she did.

[thechanglingchronicles]

Empires season one references in season two go brrr

(I’m literally going to end up having watched everyone’s perspective gahsjjzhsj)

1. Lizzie not being able to control axolotls

2. Shelby putting spirits in her old villiagers

3. The portal to shrubs home land

4. The whole mezalian king appearance

5. Jimmy adding cod to his pond

6. Sausages whole season

[philip-the-nickel]

In keeping with s1, I love seeing Mezalian King Joel show up and promptly flip lore the finger. We stan consistent characterization

[anonymous-dentist]

The Mezalian King hates lore and is so immune to lore that he managed to avoid all the lore for the entire series up until it finally affected him. And then he died from a broken heart, aka lore. RIP

And then God Joel eats breathes and shits lore and he’s the god of lore and he’s strong and handsome and tall and sexy and that’s CANON because he’s in charge of all lore and everything he says is lore, especially that he’s strong and handsome and tall and sexy

[thenopequeen]

How did the Mezalian King ascend to godhood? Was it through his search for his missing wife? TELL ME!

Joel s2 finale summarized:

S1!Joel appears as a spirit saying that S2!Joel wasn't actually a god but only a demigod, congratulates him on not failing his kingdom, tells him that he passed the god test and now S2!Joel is a true god.

LOOK AT MY BOY GO

LOOK AT HIM NOW

(i'm currently crying over empires s2 ending, sorry)

[bluesolarflare]

hihihi may i request the mezalian king plz? for art btw :)

Little man (affectionate)

[katayree]

What if the ocean queen’s last move before forgetting everything was to pass on her godhood to the Mezalian King

Boom

God Joel

[empires-s2-headcanons]

S2 Joel is just S1 Joel in denial and trying to achieve god-hood so he can be reunited with his wife again. The whole ‘mezalian king is dead’ spiel is actually him trying to convince himself.

Oh my gld that. Ow

[thenopequeen]

After some thought, I'm seeing What Could Have Been (Thank Goodness It Wasn't) as a nightmare Mezalian King Joel has of Lizzie going evil?

I can spam you with fake fic titles all night, but I don't want to overwhelm you and destroy your inbox, so here's a list to do with as you please.

What could have been (thank goodness it wasn't)

I'm still here

Fishhooks and right hooks

I'm not in love with you (but I love you)

Be gentle with each other

Shiny people

Good evening, we're not from around here

Just because I'm bad at feelings, doesn't mean I don't understand what you're doing

A shocking day (and it wasn't just the electric eels)

Welp, that could have been worse

If you ever need more, I am an endless fountain of wierd

I'm just gonna pick two from this if thats alright!

I'm not in love with you (but I love you): QPP Fairytale trio fic for sure! Idk the plot but the vibes are There!

Good evening, we're not from around here: this is Some Kind of crossover fic, perhaps the s1 emperors meeting the s2 ones!

[theleigeofnerd]

What if the Mezalian King we saw in the new episode was the Joel from whatever parallel universe bs Scott Smajor made during the s1 finale-

[apple--white]

Jimmy isn't a toy. Jimmy is a small unfinished terracotta statue of the Codfather that the Mezalian King sculpted in his grief after the rapture.

Just a passing thought I had while watching Jimmy's video.

[empiressmpheadcanon]

Has anyone made a headcannon about how Lizzie was a god last season and how Joel is a god this season?

Maybe something like the two gods were lovers a long long time ago but we're separated somehow.

Eventually they pretty much forgot about eachother. Then Lizzie met the mezalian king and something about him was so familiar. The way he'd always comment on how tall, strong, and sexy he was. Then of course season one yada yada season finale everyone cries.

1000 years later, god Joel is still around but he felt like something was missing. So he went down to the mortal lands (well close enough he still has the floating islands to show he's above them all).

Soon enough he came across an emperor, Lizzie, who reminded him of someone he used to know. Someone who looked almost exactly like her. It was like she was what he was missing.

if lizzie x joel angst gets you sad you can always remember their ship name is fucking jizzie and have a little laugh

anyway this is very good :-( but makes me FEEL so many THINGS gah