#metric halo

[elysiaheaven]

Please some headcanons with Angel from Killer Chat with a Kangel/Ame! Themed reader.

TW: Mentions of blood, breakdowns, Ame-chan-as reader, P-chan as manager, Violence.

ANGEL X STREAMER (KANGEL/AME-CHAN) READER.

This takes place after the angel's ending! You are both a writer and a streamer! But Kangel is your online persona, So people don't know the famous writer is you!

The flickering blue light of your streaming setup dances across your face as you hunch over the desk. Your eyes burn from lack of sleep, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is content. Growth. Metrics. Numbers ticking up. More. P-Chan said you needed to keep pushing if you wanted to keep your audience—and the two of you had come so far.

The clock reads 3:47 AM, but who’s counting?

"Stream again tomorrow," P-Chan had said earlier. "Engagement spikes if we do a morning and night stream. Rest later." You heard the words, nodded like a puppet, and went back to editing, coding thumbnails, planning collabs. And here you were—KAngel, radiant and perfect—trapped inside you.

But you weren’t Y/N anymore. Not lately. You couldn’t afford to be.

Angel’s footsteps are soft but deliberate when she enters your room, as if trying not to startle you. You know that gait by now—light, careful, yet holding a hint of her usual confidence. She leans against the doorway, her arms crossed, platinum hair shining in the dim light like a halo around her head.

“Babe...” she starts gently, almost cautiously, “when’s the last time you slept?”

You don’t turn around. You’re still tweaking some dumb thing on OBS that won’t matter in the long run, but perfection is non-negotiable. Angel’s reflection flickers on your screen next to your webcam overlay.

"Sleep is for when we’re dead," you say, voice saccharine and honey-coated—the playful, detached, perfectly marketable tone KAngel always used. “Gotta keep up appearances, darling~ Can’t let the fans down, can we?”

You plaster on a grin that feels too tight, your expression eerily similar to the one Angel uses when she’s stuck behind the mask of Heartsick Angel. A mirror reflecting another mirror—fake, fake, fake.

She notices immediately.

"Don't do that." Her voice sharpens, the soft concern shifting into something firmer. "That’s not you. That’s not my Y/N."

You roll your eyes—KAngel’s eyes.

"I think it’s kind of funny you’d say that, Heartsick," you respond, a smile teasing the edges of your mouth. It’s not a real smile. Just a pretty one. "You’re doing fine now, aren’t you? But someone’s gotta keep the machine running, right? If you don’t hustle, the numbers drop—P-Chan’s told me that a million times. Can’t let things slip."

Angel steps closer, her lips pressed into a thin line, concern turning into quiet frustration.

"You are slipping," she mutters. “This isn’t what we wanted. It’s not supposed to be like this.”

"Relax, babe!" you chirp, leaning back in your chair dramatically, like you’ve just nailed a joke on stream. "We’re thriving. It’s all part of the grind! They love us! We’ll be trending in no time if I just keep pushing harder—”

“You’re crashing, Y/N.” Her voice cracks at the edges now, and the sound makes your heart lurch. “You’re... turning into what I was. And I—I can’t just sit and watch that happen. Not to you."

Her hands tremble slightly as she reaches for you, but you spin your chair away, shutting her out. It’s easier to play pretend than confront what’s actually happening. You throw up the walls of KAngel—the upbeat idol with the perfect words. It’s safer there.

"You worry too much~" you hum, sing-song. "C’mon, Angel. Gotta keep the show going, yeah? Fans love us when we’re a little insane. It’s what they signed up for!"

Her expression shifts—frustration melting into something softer, almost resigned. She crouches down by your chair now, eye-level with you, forcing you to see the raw emotion on her face.

“Y/N...” Her voice drops into a whisper, and the nickname, said so softly, so real, almost breaks something inside you. “Come back to me. Please.”

It was sadly a while, she saw you again. Ever since, you just named her heartsick- Ronin decided to call angel Heartsick as well just to annoy her.

The apartment feels too quiet without your usual endless stream of commentary playing in the background. Angel sits cross-legged on the couch, her fingers tapping nervously on the armrest as her hair falls over her eyes. Currently she was talking to ronin about it.....

Angel bites her lip, the anxiety gnawing at her. “I’m really worried about them,” she mutters, glancing toward your closed bedroom door where you’ve locked yourself away for another late-night grind. "They’ve been slipping back. Like... a relapse.”

Ronin arches an eyebrow, shifting slightly to make himself more comfortable. “Yeah, well," he drawls, the edge of his lip curling into an ironic smirk, "You’re not exactly unfamiliar with that, are you, Angel?” His voice is teasing, but not unkind—just that usual post-ironic delivery that makes it impossible to tell when he's being serious. "You love the whole femme fatale thing. But, your manager- It's the same for them, Their Manager They love the attention. Two sides of the same messed-up coin, babe."

Angel shoots him a warning glare. "It’s different, Ronin. I love what I do... They—" she trails off, struggling to find the right words. "They just want to be seen. Not loved. Just... noticed. Like if the stream stops, they stop existing too."

Ronin tilts his head, feigning deep thought with a grin, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of her. “Sounds existential. You sure you’re not projecting a little, Heartsick?”

Angel huffs, brushing her hair back with a frustrated motion. “I’m serious, Ronin. I don’t know if I’m enough. It’s like they’re drowning and I can’t pull them out. And P-Chan..." She trails off, rubbing her temples. “P-Chan is making everything worse. They’re forcing them into these fanservice streams, pushing them way past the line.”

Ronin hums thoughtfully. "P-Chan sounds like dead weight. Ever think about, y'know... handling it?” He drags a finger across his throat, smirking darkly. “Clean solution.”

Angel glares, her fists clenched. “They’d never forgive me if I did that, Ronin. You know how they get. P-Chan is their safety net—twisted as it is.”

"Safety net, huh?" Ronin taps his chin theatrically. “Sounds more like a straitjacket. The longer they stick with P-Chan, the more they spiral, right?” He leans forward now, his grin softening just slightly. “Look, You and them... you're the same. You keep doing this because you love it. They’re doing it because they think the world will forget them if they stop. Big difference. P-Chan's just gonna make that worse."

Angel presses her palms together, anxiety simmering beneath her calm surface. “So what do I do, Ronin? I can’t just—kill—P-Chan. Y/n really cared for them." She swallows hard, hating how the thought had even crossed her mind.

Ronin leans back, shrugging nonchalantly. "Don’t gotta kill P-Chan if you play it smart. You just gotta make sure they see the truth before it’s too late. Either you save them now... or you let P-Chan destroy them. Your call, Heartsick."

Angel lowers her gaze, the weight of Ronin’s words pressing down on her. Think, Angel. Think.

She knows what you’re becoming—knows what it’s like to crave the spotlight until it consumes you. She’s been there. But pulling you back feels impossible, like trying to catch a shadow in the dark.

"I just want them to be okay," she whispers, her voice cracking under the weight of the fear she’s carried for months.

Ronin stands, cracking his neck with a lazy roll of his shoulders. “Then make them okay, Angel." He flashes a grin—not his devilish smirk, but something oddly genuine. "Even if they hate you for it. Better they hate you alive than love you dead, right?”

Angel stays quiet, her hands trembling slightly. She knows he’s right. But knowing doesn’t make it any easier.

And inside your room, you hit Go Live again. Your reflection in the screen stares back at you—not Y/n, but KAngel. Perfect, flawless, and adored.

Because if they love KAngel, they’ll never forget you.

Right?........

It wasn't always like this...

Whenever you, as KAngel, pull off a new stream, Angel is your biggest cheerleader. She’ll send you cute emojis in the chat and leave supportive comments, helping you feel adored and validated in your KAngel persona.

After a long day of streaming and managing your persona, you both curl up on the couch, surrounded by soft blankets. Angel loves to tuck her head under your chin, feeling safe and cherished. You can feel her happiness radiating off her in these quiet moments, and it gives you the confidence to continue being KAngel.

Angel affectionately calls you “(Insert-the nickname)” complimenting how you light up her life with your bubbly KAngel persona. The way her eyes sparkle when she looks at you makes your heart flutter.

You both brainstorm ideas for content that could highlight both your personalities—KAngel’s flirtatious charm and Yours sincerity. Planning these videos brings you closer, and you share laughter and ideas late into the night.

But now..?

Over time, the pressure to maintain KAngel starts to weigh heavily on you. You feel the need to keep up appearances and not disappoint your fans, leading you to push past your limits. Angel starts to notice you growing more withdrawn during your off-time, no longer wanting to share those intimate moments.

During a stream, something goes wrong—a technical issue or a slip of the tongue. Instead of laughing it off like KAngel would, you freeze, panic surging through you. After the stream, you lock yourself in your room, ashamed of showing your vulnerable side, and Angel’s concern turns into frustration as she tries to reach you.

the days went on, the pressure from P-Chan only intensified. Your streams became increasingly fanservice-oriented, focusing more on what would bring in views rather than what you loved. You had to put on the KAngel persona, becoming overly bubbly and flirty, which felt more like a mask than an expression of who you were.

Angel’s Concern, only started more.

One evening, after a particularly exhausting stream, Angel found you staring blankly at your screen. Your heart raced from the effort it took to maintain the KAngel facade, and she could see it etched on your face.

“Hey,” she said softly, settling next to you on the couch. “How are you holding up? You look… really worn out.”

You shrugged, forcing a smile. “I’m fine, Angel! Just a bit tired from all the streaming. P-Chan’s got a lot planned for the next few weeks.”

Her brow furrowed, concern deepening. “But it seems like he’s been pushing you too hard. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your well-being for views.”

You felt a flicker of irritation, defensiveness bubbling up. “I’m fine! I can handle it. I want to make people happy. KAngel is a part of me!”

Angel’s expression softened, and she leaned closer. “But are you happy? I see you slipping back into your old self. You were doing so well. I just want you to be okay.”

Despite her gentle approach, the pressure was getting to you. The more you pretended to be KAngel, the more you felt the real you—fading away. The facade was starting to wear thin, and you could feel your sanity fraying at the edges.

“I just have to keep up with P-Chan’s demands. It’s fine, really.” You couldn’t hide the tremor in your voice.

Angel frowned, sensing your distress. “This isn’t fine, and you know it. I want to be there for you. You don’t have to pretend with me.”

Just then, a notification pinged on your phone—a new message from P-Chan outlining an even more demanding streaming schedule. It made your heart sink, and you felt a knot of anxiety tighten in your chest.

“See? It’s fine. I can handle it.” But even you could hear the false bravado in your voice.

The following week, P-Chan continued to ramp up the pressure, pushing you to keep up the KAngel persona for your streams. He had a vision for your channel—a vision that didn’t include any room for your mental well-being.

“Listen, ,” he said one day, his voice brimming with enthusiasm as he reviewed the last stream’s metrics. “The viewers love the KAngel persona. But you know they’re getting a bit disappointed with the way you’ve been acting lately. They want the bubbly, flirty girl, not this… whatever it is you’ve been doing.”

You felt your stomach twist at his words, the pressure building like a volcano ready to erupt. “I’m trying! It’s just been a lot lately, and—”

“Just keep it up,” he interrupted, waving his hand dismissively. “You need to give the people what they want. That’s how you’ll get your fame back! More engagement equals more views! Just remember, we’re in this together.”

The next stream, you felt like you were walking a tightrope, balancing on the edge of sanity. As the camera turned on and you slipped into the familiar persona of KAngel, a wave of exhaustion washed over you. You forced a smile, and your heart raced with anxiety.

“Hey, everyone! It’s your favorite KAngel! Ready to have some fun today?” you chirped, but the words felt hollow, echoing in the emptiness of your heart.

As the chat filled with excitement, you tried to keep up with their energy, but your mind felt hazy, like you were trying to run through thick mud.

“Let’s get started with some challenges today! I know you love them!” you announced, but the enthusiasm didn’t reach your eyes.

Gradually, the facade began to crack. You stumbled over your words, your focus wavering as you lost sight of the chat. “I—uh… I think we should do something fun… right?”

The viewers’ reactions began to shift, disappointment seeping through the comments like a poison. “What’s wrong with her?” “This isn’t the KAngel we know!” “Is she okay?”

Each comment felt like a dagger to your heart, intensifying the panic that gripped you. You felt a wave of frustration boil within you, your breathing becoming uneven.

“Damn it!” you suddenly yelled, the words bursting forth without warning. “Damn everything! I can’t keep doing this!”

The chat erupted, confusion and concern flooding the comments, but you barely registered it. All you could see was P-Chan’s face, his expression shifting from excitement to something darker.

“Keep it together!” he hissed, his voice barely above a whisper, but the urgency fell on deaf ears.

Your vision blurred, and you felt the walls closing in. “I can’t… I can’t focus! Just leave me alone!” You slumped down in your chair, overwhelmed by the cacophony of voices in your head and the relentless expectations weighing down on you.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you broke down live on camera, the mask slipping away completely. “I don’t want to be KAngel anymore! I just want to be me!”

The stream continued to roll, the viewers stunned into silence as your breakdown unfolded before them. The reality of your struggle was laid bare for everyone to see.

When you looked at P-Chan, his expression had transformed. Instead of concern, there was a chilling smile spreading across his face. “You did good, Y/n” he said, his tone almost mocking. “This is exactly what the viewers love. This raw emotion? It’ll make you more famous than ever!”

His words twisted inside you, and a dark realization settled in. It was as if you had been playing into his hands, the puppet of his desires. The psychotic glint in your eyes matched the manic edge of your laughter as you processed his twisted encouragement.

“Famous?” you repeated, your voice hollow. “You think this is what they want?”

“Absolutely,” P-Chan replied, a calculating gleam in his eyes. “Keep it up, and we’ll get back to the top in no time.”

In that moment, the fear transformed into a blend of anger and despair. You felt like you were spiraling deeper into the abyss, and all the while, P-Chan watched, unfazed by your suffering.

The stream ended, leaving behind a stunned silence. You stared blankly at the screen, the chat continuing to scroll with a mixture of support and confusion. You felt exposed, vulnerable, and yet somehow twistedly empowered by the chaos.

As the realization of your breakdown hit you like a tidal wave, you whispered, “What have I become?”

Angel rushed in, her eyes wide with concern. “Ame! I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to help you through this.”

You turned to her, a wild look in your eyes. “Help me? I don’t even know who I am anymore, Angel! But! It's okay..Go home now.”

The day started as a struggle. You woke up sluggish, your mind weighed down by the relentless negativity you felt everywhere you turned. After dragging yourself out of bed, you grabbed your phone and sent a quick text to P-Chan:

Y/n: Hey, I’ve been feeling really sluggish and crabby lately. Not sure what’s going on.

No reply came right away, but you didn’t want to wait for him. You opened Twitter and typed your name into the search bar. A pit formed in your stomach as the hate flooded in.

“Ugh, just ignore it,” you muttered to yourself, trying to shake off the sick feeling creeping into your chest. But it was hard to ignore when the insults were so personal.

You decided to vent on your private Twitter account.

Y/n: Why is it that I’m getting more hate than usual? I can’t even open my mentions without feeling like trash.

You felt the familiar weight of anger rise within you, a fire ignited by the cruel words of strangers. After venting, you decided to post on your KAngel account to reassure your fans:

KAngel: Something got me a little shaken up, but don’t worry! I’ll keep going! 💖

You hoped the sweet emojis would soften the blow, but within seconds, the comments began to flood in—annoying replies, mocking you, turning your heart into a stone.

You couldn’t help it; you sent another text to P-Chan, your frustration spilling over.

Y/n: This is bothering me so much. I’m really going through it lately.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally replied.

P-Chan: You just need to push through, Y/n. The audience loves the drama!

When the stream began, you plastered on the usual KAngel smile, channeling a different version of yourself, one that was strong, bubbly, and full of light.

“Hey, everyone! It’s your KAngel! Let’s have some fun!” you cheered, but it felt forced, an act that barely masked the turmoil underneath.

As the minutes passed, the comments started to come in thick and fast—snide remarks, critiques of your performance. Your heart raced, and the anger you had suppressed boiled over.

“What is wrong with you guys? Can’t you see I’m trying?” you snapped, the crack in your facade widening. The laughter that usually bubbled up felt more like a scream, and you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes.

“Just shut up!” you yelled, the words erupting out of you like a volcano. Your vision blurred, the chat filled with an echo of harsh laughter, and suddenly, you couldn’t take it anymore.

With no warning, you vomited on the webcam, the bile rising as humiliation washed over you. The stream ended abruptly, leaving your viewers in stunned silence.

You slumped in your chair, your heart racing, your head spinning with confusion and shame. P-Chan leaned in with a twisted smile on his face.

“You did good, Y/n,” he said, his words dripping with sarcasm. “This will make you more famous than ever.”

Your stomach churned with rage and disbelief. “Is this what you wanted?” you spat, tears of frustration spilling down your cheeks.

The shame felt heavy, but you were too exhausted to care. You wanted to disappear.

The next morning was no better. You woke up feeling worse, the weight of your previous day hanging over you like a dark cloud. Vanity searching again, your heart sank as you saw the hate had doubled, people mocking you, making fun of your breakdown.

You felt sick, the bitterness and pain rising in your throat. You couldn’t shake the thought, What if I just… didn’t exist anymore?

But deep down, the drive to keep working and regain your standing clawed at you. You opened your KAngel account and tweeted:

KAngel: Sorry for the stream yesterday! It was a lot, but I’m back and better than ever! 💖

The replies were a mix of concern and ridicule, with some even demanding to see you vomit again. It sickened you, but a twisted part of you felt a sense of power in their interest.

You decided to go live again, channeling your energy into a stream titled “On Angels.” You added a blueish filter, making everything feel surreal.

At first, everything seemed okay. You laughed, interacted, and kept the mood light, but the moment the mean comments rolled in, the laughter faded, replaced by tears.

“You don’t know anything about me!” you screamed, lashing out as the pain bubbled over. The comments turned even more vicious, and you felt like you were drowning.

“I’ll quit streaming!” you shouted, feeling the bile rise again. “I can’t do this anymore!”

Before you knew it, you vomited on the webcam once more, the world spinning as the stream ended abruptly, leaving only the sound of your sobs behind.

The next day was worse. You woke up, feeling like a ghost, devoid of any energy. You vanity searched again, and the results were worse than before.

A ton of windows filled with slander and mockery popped up in front of you, your heart racing as you clicked through the endless hate. One window caught your attention:

DIE

Against your better judgment, you clicked it, and suddenly a flurry of windows appeared, each one showcasing pills labeled “Dylsem.” Your stomach twisted in fear and curiosity, but your hands moved almost on instinct as the screen morphed into a self-harm minigame.

Unlike the actual game, you had no control over the events unfolding. The sequence felt like it was happening in slow motion as you transformed. The glitches twisted your image until you were unrecognizable, almost monstrous.

The stream began, titled simply “DIE.”

You appeared on screen, laughter escaping your lips that sounded foreign, manic, and desperate. “You think you can break me? You have no idea what I’m capable of!”

As you threatened your viewers, the screen filled with a flood of floating eyes, watching, judging, taunting. The laughter turned to sobs, spiraling into a full-blown breakdown.

“I’ll quit! You’ll never see me again!” you shouted, your heart racing as the darkness enveloped you.

The stream ended abruptly, leaving only a black screen filled with the haunting words that repeated over and over:

DIE. DIE. DIE.

The aftermath of your stream left you breathless and shaken, your heart pounding as the room felt like it was closing in on you. You stared blankly at the screen, the haunting words “DIE. DIE. DIE.” echoing in your mind. Your breath quickened, and tears streamed down your face, hot and unrelenting.

“I can’t do this anymore!” you cried, your voice breaking as the weight of it all crashed down on you. “I don’t want to act like this! I don’t want to be KAngel!”

You felt a surge of anger boiling in your veins, directed at the very person who was supposed to support you—P-Chan. You could hear him laughing softly in the background, that condescending tone grating on your nerves.

“It’s all part of the show, Ame. You know that,” he said, but his words only fueled the fire inside you.

“Shut up!” you screamed, your voice cracking as you shot up from your chair, the energy surging through you like a lightning bolt. In a burst of rage, you pushed him away, the fury blinding you to the consequences.

P-Chan stumbled back but quickly regained his footing, his eyes narrowing with a mix of surprise and anger. “What’s your problem?” he snapped, advancing toward you.

“You! You’re the problem!” you shouted, feeling the rage boiling over. You couldn’t contain it anymore. You felt like you were losing control, the weight of all the hate, all the expectations, crashing down around you.

In a wild rush, he shoved you back, and you lost your balance, hitting your head against the edge of the desk. Pain shot through you, but it only fueled your rage. You leaped up, eyes wild, and grabbed the chair, your grip tight as you lifted it above your head.

“DIE! DIE! DIE!” you screamed, the words echoing off the walls as you brought the chair down onto P-Chan, the sound of wood crashing against flesh ringing in your ears.

He grunted, eyes wide with shock as he stumbled back, trying to shield himself from your furious assault. You swung again, the chair connecting with his body as he fell to the floor, breathless and dazed.

“Why are you doing this?” he gasped, trying to catch his breath, but the look in his eyes made you realize he was frightened.

“I don’t want to be your puppet!” you shouted, lifting the chair again, your voice hoarse and raw. “You think this is funny? You’re destroying me!”

Each blow sent a wave of catharsis through you, the pain of the world washing away with every strike. But it was short-lived; P-Chan, weakened from your attack, managed to grab your wrist, stopping your next swing.

“Stop! You’re going too far!” he yelled, his voice strained.

In that moment, reality hit you like a brick wall. You paused, breath heavy and ragged, your heart racing as the adrenaline coursed through you.

He was on the ground, and you stood over him, chair in hand, panting heavily. You blinked, the haze of anger starting to clear, replaced by confusion and regret.

“What have I done?” you whispered, the chair slipping from your fingers and clattering to the ground.

You opened your KAngel account, the familiar rush of anxiety fluttering in your chest as you typed out a manic tweet: "Tonight’s stream is gonna be wild! Don’t miss it, lovelies! 💖✨🦋"

You hit send, a wave of anticipation washed over you, mingled with dread. The distorted, playful background music filled the room as you transformed with the magic paper filter, your appearance shifting into a whimsical, yet unsettling rendition of KAngel. The vibrant colors clashed with the eerie vibes radiating from you. You tried to smile, but the grin felt more like a grimace.

The Stream Begins

“Welcome back, my wonderful viewers!” you chirped, trying to mask the turmoil within you. “Tonight, we’re diving into something super special: the ‘Diagram of the Body’! Isn’t that exciting?”

The music twisted and warped, creating a surreal atmosphere that matched the chaotic energy surging through your veins. Your eyes flickered around the room, taking in the scattered remnants of your latest projects, the once-innocent walls now stained with splatters of red—a haunting backdrop that seemed to pulse with life.

“You know, I had a pet fish once,” you began, your tone shifting from bubbly to strangely contemplative. “I named him Fluffy. I took such good care of him! But he still died… despite my best efforts.”

A strange laughter bubbled up, mixing with the music, and you continued rambling, trying to fill the silence that clawed at you. “It��s funny, isn’t it? You try so hard, but sometimes it just doesn’t matter.”

You could feel the disconnect between your voice and the words spilling out, as if you were just a vessel for the chaos within. The screen flickered, cutting to a void-like background where a poem appeared, words flowing like blood on the wall behind you:

"In a world of shapes and lines, The body speaks in silent cries. Efforts wasted, lives confined, A diagram drawn in whispered lies."

As the poem faded, a flash of text suddenly took over the screen: “HELP ME.”

You froze, heart racing, the weight of those words crashing down on you like a tidal wave. But instead of addressing the dread creeping in, you pushed it aside. “Being this idiotic nyah girl is just… scary, okay? I don’t wanna be this! But you idiots won’t understand, will you?”

Your voice trembled as you continued, frustration bubbling over. “All of you, with your stupid comments and demands, treating me like some tool for your entertainment! It’s disgusting! You think I’m just a plaything, an idol to mold into whatever you want!”

The distorted music echoed your feelings, amplifying the chaos in your mind as you started to spiral. “You’re all so idiotic! I’m not your little puppet!” you spat, anger spilling out, each word sharp and stinging. “This isn’t just a game! I’m a person! I’m not here to be used!”

You could feel the anger surging, and the stream became a cathartic release for everything bottled inside. “I don’t want to act like this! I’m more than your entertainment! I can’t be the cute little KAngel forever!”

The disgust you felt for the simps and the way they saw you as a tool welled up in your throat, and before you knew it, you were ready to cut the stream. “I’m done! If you can’t understand that, then screw you all!”

With that final thought hanging in the air, you slammed the end stream button, breathing heavily as the screen faded to black. You stared at the darkness, the silence of your room almost deafening after the chaotic outburst.

The distortion faded, but the weight of what you had just said lingered, filling the space with a tension that was hard to shake. The comments were already flooding in, a mix of concern and derision, but you didn’t care.

“You won’t get it,” you whispered to the empty room, your voice barely above a whisper. “You never will.”

The aftermath of your stream hung heavy in the air, the adrenaline still pulsing through your veins as you sank into the quiet of your room. Just as you tried to steady your breath, the door swung open, and in walked Angel, her face a mix of concern and urgency.

“Y/n,” she exclaimed, rushing towards you. Her arms wrapped around you tightly, pulling you into a hug that felt both comforting and grounding. But as she pulled back, her gaze dropped to the floor, and her eyes widened at the sight of the blood smeared against the wall.

“Y/n, is that…” Her voice trembled slightly, the realization dawning on her.

“It’s fine, Angel! It’s just a little…” You tried to wave it off, forcing a smile despite the fear coiling in your stomach. “Just a first aid issue, really.”

She narrowed her eyes, not convinced. “Did… did you kill P-Chan?” The question slipped out before she could stop it, a hint of shock lacing her voice.

You shook your head quickly, the panic rising again. “No! No, they just fainted! I got a bit... carried away.”

Angel’s expression softened, relief flooding her features. “Okay, good. But you’re hurt. Come on, let’s take care of you.” She grabbed your hand and led you toward the bathroom, her grip firm but gentle, grounding you in the chaos of the moment.

Once in the bathroom, Angel turned on the faucet, filling the tub with warm water as she gathered supplies. She moved with a certain grace, her focus entirely on you, and it brought a sense of calm that contrasted sharply with the storm in your mind.

“Hold still,” she instructed softly, grabbing a first aid kit and pulling out bandages and antiseptic. You watched as she worked, her brow furrowed in concentration, and it struck you how much she cared.

“I’m so sorry for everything, Angel,” you mumbled, feeling guilty for the mess you had created, both physically and emotionally.

“Don’t apologize,” she said firmly, dabbing a cloth against the cut on your arm. “You’ve been through a lot. And I won’t let P-Chan mess with you anymore. I'll let Ronin, take care...."

You glanced up at her, your heart aching with appreciation. “How... how did the Devil’s Butcher take care of them?” you asked hesitantly, not wanting to dwell on the darker aspects of the situation.

A faint smirk crossed Angel’s lips, a hint of mischief sparkling in her eyes. “Let’s just say Ronin has his ways. He knows how to deal with people who step out of line.”

You nodded, a chill of admiration running down your spine. “Tell Ronin I said thanks,” you murmured, feeling a strange sense of camaraderie in the chaos.

After tending to your wounds, Angel helped you out of the bathroom and into some fresh clothes. “How about we go on a little date?” she suggested, a warm smile breaking across her face. “Just you and me, away from all this... nonsense.”

Your heart swelled at the thought, the idea of spending time with her lifting your spirits. “I’d like that,” you replied softly, feeling a flicker of hope igniting within you.

The two of you spent the evening together, sharing laughter and stories over a makeshift dinner. As the lighthearted banter flowed, you felt a sense of normalcy wash over you, easing the lingering fears from the day.

But deep down, you knew that the struggles weren’t over. The shadows of your online life loomed large, threatening to encroach on your newfound peace. Yet, for now, you allowed yourself to lean into Angel’s warmth, cherishing the moment and the promise of support that she brought into your life.

The evening wore on, the atmosphere settled into a comfortable rhythm. The remnants of your earlier chaos faded into the background, leaving only the warm glow of the room and the soft sound of Angel’s laughter. You both sat on the couch, sharing bites of the snacks you’d prepared, when she suddenly grew quiet, her gaze drifting towards the window.

“Y/n,” she said softly, breaking the comfortable silence, “do you remember when I... killed him?” The mention of her manager hung in the air, a reminder of the dark path she had walked to reclaim her power.

You nodded, the memory fresh in your mind. The way she had transformed that night, fierce and unyielding, stayed etched in your thoughts. “You were so strong. I was scared for you, I didn't want to leave you tho, but I knew you had to do what you did.”

Angel turned to you, her eyes shimmering with emotion. “You cared about me, even when I was a mess. You sat beside me, helped me in the bath... I never forgot that. It meant the world to me.”

Your heart swelled at her words. You had always wanted to support her, to be there in her moments of darkness, just as she had been there for you.

“I wanted to make sure you knew I was there for you, always,” you replied, sincerity lacing your tone.

She smiled, a warm, radiant smile that seemed to light up the room. “And that’s why I want to do the same for you. I love you, Y/n. I love you—it's fun! You bring out this side of me that feels... alive.”

She spoke, you felt the heaviness in your chest begin to lift. It was freeing to embrace the messiness of life, to be together in this chaotic whirlwind.

“I love you too, Angel,” you said, a grin spreading across your face. “Being a loser with you is the best.”

[pumapilot]

Best warthog based on whatever metric you want

[tpfw01]

Luo Binghe vs Xie Lian

Saw a tiktok asking who wins, and it annoyed me that most replies were so confident that Xie Lian would win.

LBH conquered all three realms, that includes the heavens.

LBH is also "the strongest martial artist" in his universe, as SVSSS is also a cultivation setting.

The protagonist halo is canon only to LBH. It doesn't matter that XL is also an MC; in-world, only LBH has the halo.

Age doesn't matter in strength in cultivation settings. It ridiculous that people bring up XL's 600 years of experience. Being ancient means you've just survived longer, which means you're strong, but it's not an indication of strength in comparison.

"Ascending x times at x age" also doesn't matter coz it's not LBH's fault he got thrown into the abyss so young. He ended up getting Xin Mo, which made him more powerful than ascending, but even without Xin Mo he would have ascended eventually. Point being is that this argument for XL is moot.

That's all I can think of for now. LBH wins by any metric and I will die on that hill.

Don't join the discussion if you haven't read SVSSS, thanks.

[justintaco]

I've been up for almost 24 hours so

superheavy Lonetrail Muelsyse spoilers

Besides the like, uncountable amount of stuff that blew me away in Lonetrail,

linking together Mansfield Break and Dorothy's Vision with Vigilo and Walk in the Dust

creating thematic parallels with Near Light at the end,

what really blew me away was Muelsyse.

Anyone who's followed this blog for a long time knows I'm not big on shipping and I'm semi-public with my opinion that most times shipping brain completely poisons someone's ability to actually engage with a narrative. But honest to god, even to me, they seemed to be almost writing a romance with Doctor and Mumu.

Blink twice if you don't think I'm crazy.

like any gacha you have a lot of flirty lines between the player character and a million of the girls (and guys), but like, this seemed unusually genuine and romantic?

(x)

Like besides them sharing a dance and all their cute little scenes, they seemed to be creating a genuine parallel in their backstories and who they are as people here

Mumu discovers she isn't actually the last of her race but realizes that she has so little in common with them she cannot form any meaningful connection or even find a shared language with them. Her integration into human society is like, almost all just an act of survival by her own admission, she doesn't feel any belonging there either. In fact, most of the time her real body is hiding in her vivarium because the physical world itself is becoming so poisoned by originium that it's dangerous to leave using anything but a clone. Even in her flashback with Saria and Kristen, she seems to be the third wheel.

She is by every possible metric, completely alone. And it seems like her chronic teehee backstabbing is a coping mechanism to feeling completely alienated from even her closest friends and what becomes her second family with the Rhine Lab directors. Even that dysfunctional and over idealized family is gone now too. She even says the following after she betrays Doctor for one last ditch effort to throw in her lot with Kristen and maybe find somewhere out in the stars she can belong:

Compare that with the Doctor, who in this event witnesses what seems to be the death of the last member of their race. In fact, the dialogue implies that Doctor feels an incredible amount of anguish even just pulling the plug on Trevor since it's not so quick a death. Directly after this event, after escaping the big silo bunker thing, Doctor's first thought is to go seek out Mumu rather than regroup with everyone from RI (including Saria who just reentered the atmosphere Halo 3 style). It feels like a response to an epiphany.

Earlier, Doctor had managed to actually get her to tell the truth about herself during their dance. How isolated she feels without any past or family, just like Doctor. So they go directly to her, fresh off of losing the last connection to their past life besides Kal'tsit (who is implied to not only be unwilling but in some way unable to share more info with Doctor).

You then get what is this, extremely deeply intimate conversation between Doctor and Muelsyse, commiserating over their shared loneliness.

She tries to play things off with her usual shtick but pretty quickly she admits that saving those random Control goons on the ship was her failed attempt at suicide because Saria had well and truly kicked her out of the triumvirate to confront Kristen alone.

After that she begins connecting with Doctor on a deeper level than any character I can really recall. As much as I love the ex wife Kal'tsit stuff, they really don't seem to have a romantic attachment. A very very close and intimately trusting one, maybe a past romance, but never romantic with Doctor as they exist in the present since waking up. Doctor views other characters like Amiya, Ifrit, and Rosmontis as children to be protected. But this here is these two really baring their souls and it's just crazy to see in a gacha game where the format discourages stuff like this.

Just, man I love this whole conversation. They've both just learned recently that they can't shed their loneliness with what's left of their races. Muelsyse is totally at the end of her rope, but Doctor has just learned that the only thing they can do is fully commit to the people they know in the present. So despite Mumu's one final attempt to put a barrier up between her and another person, a literal physical barrier of water

Doctor walks right into the barrier and literally reaches out to her to help save her with what they just learned that same day

Muelsyse refers to the parts not in blue here (blue usually being the only confirmed dialogue Doctor says out loud in any given cutscene) when she talks to Nasti later. That means the Doctor said all of this out loud.

Again, am I crazy or does this feel like the most romantic Doctor has ever been with another character?

A lot of himejoshis on Twitter have been mad about the event and what it means for Mumu x Ho'ohleyak, Mumu x Saria, or Muelsyse x her OT3 with Saria and Kristen, and honestly

they might have a point

[l3viat8an]

Imagine an mc that crochets and makes things for the brothers! Cute emo-style gloves made of the sparkly kind of yarn in pink for Asmo, a coffee mug cozy for Lucifer, a set of little kitten plushies for Satan, a wallet for Mammon, a duffel bag for Beel to put his sports things in, a granny square cow print blanket for Belphie made out of that velvet baby yarn, a plushie version/replica of a limited edition ruri-chan figurine that sold out before Levi could get to it, a crocheted version of Diavolo’s red jacket they give to him for his birthday (which barb and luci have to constantly chastise him from wearing to RAD), a set of crocheted oven mitts for Barbatos, a wand holder for Solomon, a pair of earmuffs that have a halo attached via a wire for Simeon which MC said was a joke but he still wears regularly in the winter, and a metric ton of plushies they make nearly every day for little Luke (he carries at least one of them with him at all times and will start sobbing if he loses it; Solomon had to add charms to all of them to keep them from going missing). These are just a few examples; all of the dorms, including the royal palace, are essentially covered in their crocheted creation; you can essentially watch their crochet skills improve as you walk down the hallways of The House of Lamentation! Anyway, here’s some pics of what I’m envisioning (as Pinterest links bc it’d take way to much room to do pictures 😬, and also bc most of these are from Etsy shops and I want to credit the creators!):

Asmo’s gloves: https://pin.it/56YIWUE

Lucifer’s mug cozy: https://pin.it/4bwK8Xh

Satan’s kitten plushies: https://pin.it/7gaWvfh

Mammon’s wallet: https://pin.it/7G4bjwO

Beel’s bag: https://pin.it/2xA4fLk

Belphie’s blanket: https://pin.it/2onYyvi

Levi’s Plushie: https://pin.it/3PLnOWv (I know it isn’t ruri-chan, but bc that’s not an irl anime I just picked a character from a random anime as a visual example)

Diavolo’s Coat: https://pin.it/3w4qd9H

Barb’s oven mitts: https://pin.it/3FXqI5K

Simeon’s Ear muffs: https://pin.it/5crXKoq (imagine something like this, but it’s attached to a pair of ear muffs like this: https://pin.it/1oI4vK1)

Solomon’s wand holder: https://pin.it/25HpzRg

(some of) Luke’s plushies: https://pin.it/2qWpOsL , https://pin.it/5thNBkZ , https://pin.it/7iLKsQ8

I can’t crochet to save my life- but I can knit so this is just adorable!!! Ahhh-

Like all of it idk where to start and the pics too!!

The wand holder sjajkaja 

The ear muffs for Simeon are too fuckin’ cute, I can’t!!

Luke’s whole bed is practically filled with the little stuffies MC made him!! and his absolute favorite is a little Chihuahua tho he’ll never admit lol

And for Lucifer ‘wine bottle snuggies’ are another thing MC could make!!

Diavolo and the coat just- hestoosweetahhh-

[oliviax727]

Physics Friday #4: WTF is Dark Energy/Dark Matter? (Part 2)

Important Note: 50 people is a lot! (well after I blocked all the bots it was under that). And I never expected it to grow so quickly. But also I've noticed that a lot of people move in and out of following this blog. And I think one reason is because some people just want to see the physics/maths/astronomy instead of that plus random shitposts.

So what I'm going to do, is for all future posts like this, put this in a second blog to separate it from this one. And every time I post to that one I'll re-blog it here so that there's space for those who just like to see science-y stuff.

The second blog is @oliviabutsmart.

Preamble

Education level: High School (Y9/10)

Topic: Cosmology, Particle Physics (Astronomy)

This is the second part of three to the Dark Energy vs. Dark Matter post. In this part, I'm going to cover the possible ideas behind what dark matter is.

From the last part, what you need to know is that:

Dark matter and dark energy are completely different things, they're both dark because we can't see it

When we look at galaxies and orbits, what we expect is that most of the mass is concentrated in the centre (galactic bulge)

What we actually end up seeing is that there's a lot more stuff in the outer reaches of the galaxy, and we can't see any of it

This hidden matter, called 'dark matter' is what we have to use to correct our equations

Introduction: The chad MACHO vs. the virgin WIMP

Now unlike what this tile says, I don't actually think that MACHOs are better, it's just a play on- .... you know what I mean.

So, given what we know, we need to find a source for this hidden matter. The best place to start is to take a look at what we do know about dark matter:

It doesn't interact with the electromagnetic force (or if it does, it's very rare) - this allows it to appear as 'invisible'

It does have mass - as it affects the motion of stuff in galaxies

It needs to be plentiful outside of galaxies

It generally doesn't interact with other forms of matter

So now we have three different candidate groups for dark matter:

Weakly-interacting particles, including WIMPs (weakly interacting massive particles)

Really big objects that happen to not radiate a lot (also known as MACHOs)

Modified theories of gravity on the large scale

We also need to worry about the way in which this matter is produced. Which is where the cold-warm-hot metric is introduced. It has less to do with temperature and more with speed, particularly in the early universe (see free streaming length for more details - I'm oversimplifying).

What's important is what this "free streaming length" does. Larger lengths corresponds to the formation of larger structures first, then smaller internal structures later.

A cold dark matter model corresponds to dark matter with a small speed in the early universe. In the current day, we think that this is the best model - as it allows for the formation of galaxies first, then clusters of galaxies later - something that we have observed.

Hot dark matter is on the higher end of the speed spectrum and is more equivalent to the formation of big super-galactic sponges before the individual galaxies appear.

The Jocks of the Galaxies: MACHOs

A MACHO is also known as a MAssive Compact Halo Object

Massive - it's heavy Compact - "self-contained" in a way, it doesn't interfere with stars and it doesn't radiate much Halo - it exists in the galaxy's "Halo", a region surrounding the galaxy

Small or Primordial Black Holes

The immediate thought, right of the bat, is to think of a black hole. I mean, it's heavy, and it sucks up literally everything. You may object because of hawking radiation but it's very difficult to see that. So what we get is effectively no radiation.

The problem comes with the fact that it's heavy. Where are you going to get all of this stuff into one place? And won't you be able to detect the effects of these objects on star systems?

The early universe was small, really small, and there was a lot of stuff all compacted into this area. Is it not possible that portions of space end up "pinched" and turn into black holes? Well, maybe!

These black holes from the early universe continue on into the modern day to form the dark, unseeable 'mass' on galaxies.

The problems come with hawking radiation (and not because of the aforementioned radiating) ... black holes naturally emit radiation. A topic I may cover in more detail in a future post. But for now, because of this radiation, black holes actually shrink in size over time and eventually disappear.

This puts a lower bound on how small a primordial black hole can be. As any smaller black holes would've popped out of existence by now.

We could also opt for using smaller black holes that formed more recently, but that also comes with the initial issue of how do we make them?

Red Dwarfs, Brown Dwarfs, Black Dwarfs, or Rouge Planets

Often stars don't go out with a bang. In fact, it's more likely that they simply fizzle out. Black dwarfs are what results from this. And because of it they're just dark solid spheres of material.

Some stars are just small and dim. Red dwarfs are incredibly, INCREDIBLY common in our galaxy. It might be possible that we don't see them because they are so dim.

Some stars don't even form, they just don't ignite. These failed stars turn into brown dwarfs. They are unusually large gas giants with a faint glow.

Some planets get knocked out of their system - for any reason. These planets, without light, wander the galaxy alone.

These four objects, are large, dark, and too small to really interact with anything. And it might be the case that these rouge objects are more common than we think! Enough to account for the missing mass.

The issue is just how we are able to find them so far out of the reaches of the galaxy. Hypothetically, we could say that because of the lack of abundant gas in the outer reaches we end up with failed or dim stars.

Dark Stars

This is both the most interesting candidate for dark matter, and also the least documented. Primarily because we're talking about objects made of shit we haven't even seen.

Dark stars come in two varieties, ones made of dark energy, ones made of dark matter.

Dark energy stars are effectively legacy candidates of black holes, that the dark energy in the universe 'pinches' like in our primordial black hole scenario.

Dark matter stars require us having some sort of particle concentrated in a star-like object. It is of course, a strange idea, and it additionally requires the existence of small particles contributing to dark matter.

There's actually a good PBS Space Time video on this. And I recommend you watch it as I do not have the chops to understand this stuff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUhOL38346Y

The Little Nerds: WIMPs, WISPs, and other particles

The easiest (and most likely) answer is that we're looking for some sort of small particle somewhere in the universe in big concentration.

The core idea is of the WIMP, a very large particle (large being relative i.e. as heavy as maybe an atom), which doesn't interact much.

We want larger particles because, well, then we can have less than them. It's easier to explain that then having particles that are incredibly numerous.

But there's also another type of candidate: WISPs. The S stands for slender. Maybe we don't actually require massive particles, maybe we can have a particle that doesn't interact with stuff. That in order to interact with it you have to be really close to it and so you just don't end up interacting with it.

Neutrinos

Neutrinos are the most obvious candidate. Because we already know they exist. And we know where they are produced.

Every time you undergo nuclear fusion, you actually produce neutrinos as a bi-product. When you have collapsing and exploding stars, this neutrino radiation becomes so numerous it could fry you.

The benefit of neutrinos is that they only interact via the weak force, which only operates when you're really close to the neutrino. This makes neutrinos a type of WISP.

So why do we not declare that this is dark matter? The issue is that neutrinos are hot dark matter. So if they made up dark matter it wouldn't fit with what we see when we look outside.

We could go for a new, yet similar particle, the sterile neutrino. However we end up falling into the same pattern of needing to find an undiscovered particle.

The Axion

Axions are a hypothetical WISP particle that interacts using either the strong force or the electromagnetic force. They are our best traditional candidate for dark matter. A particle that does exactly what we want it to do.

It's sort of like the "string theory" of dark matter candidates, the cleanest looking idea which we still don't have good evidence for.

Strangelets

Strangelets are particles containing the strange quark. They are candidates for dark matter because they fall more into the WIMP class than anything else.

The scary consequence of these particles is that they become more stable with more particles, so they could effectively turn other matter into strange quarks until an entire planet or star is consumed by them.

Fuzzy Dark Matter

Sometimes when you need a big particle, you actually should look for a small one. Fuzzy dark matter basically hypothesises that there are particles that are incredibly light, allowing them to form wavy fields of stuff that contributes to the mass of galaxies.

Quantum Weirdness and SUSY

SUSY, or supersymmetry, is a foundational component of string theory that states that force is directly translatable to mass. That for every fermion particle type, there exists an equivalent particle that acts as a boson. And every boson, there is an equivalent fermion.

You don't need to worry about the difference between bosons and fermions outside of that they are force carrying, and normal particles respectively.

SUSY, and other weird quantum effects are additionally proposed candidates to dark matter, as they can generate new and weird particles or forces that might contribute to the missing mass. But also, they have had a bad reputation in more recent years for returning negative results.

What if Gravity is Just Wrong?

So this is our last category. Forget the large black holes and the tiny new particles, maybe gravity is just wrong! That we got general relativity right on the scales of planets and stars, but not at all when it comes to larger masses like galaxies and clusters.

Modified Newtonian Gravity

Modified newtonian gravity, or MOND, is the idea that, when acceleration is low enough, the motion of particles stop following the rules dictated by newton's laws. Specifically becoming F=ma^2 instead of F=ma.

This, however, implies that ALL of newtonian mechanics becomes affected by this change, so it's often proposed that this modified newton's law affects only gravity compared to other forces like electromagnetism.

We can also develop this idea into our more fundamental understanding of gravity, General Relativity. Using what's known as Tensor-Vector-Scalar gravity.

The problem is that this is a pretty big change to make. Disproving gravity - it sounds less like a sound theory and more like a conspiracy theory. But of course, that's how we would've treated previous theories of gravity when they first came out.

Another problem is that the current proposed MOND theory still requires the existence of some form of dark matter MACHO or particle.

Entropic Gravity

Entropic gravity is another interesting theory, especially because it also acts as a theory of quantum gravity (i.e. solving the biggest problem in all of physics).

Basically, gravity actually doesn't exist, but is instead a cumulative effect of quantum disorder. Emerging in the same way that temperature emerges from the second law of thermodynamics.

This helps us solve the dark matter problem by demonstrating that gravity changes as we scale things up. Similar to how temperature looks different if we were, say, looking at whizzing atoms in a box compared to a warm block of metal. And MOND theories end up emerging if we extend the scales beyond that of stars and planets.

Yet, the problem still remains, that this requires us disprove the existence of gravity. It would take quite a lot to try and do that. Including accounting for how we get from the probabilistic world of the quantum to the tangible normal world.

Conclusion: So ... Which one is right?

Short Answer: None

We don't really have enough experimental evidence to prove any of these to be the true source of dark matter, or even a combination of different sources. There is experimental data of course, we've been looking for ages. But a lot these experiments either don't give conclusive results or just limit the possible ranges of their properties.

The search for dark matter is ongoing, and is still certainly under the works. It's one of the biggest unsolved mysteries in physics, and just like other theories, the ideas we come up with just end up getting disproven or are too hard to prove to begin with.

This post was a whopper! It took a lot more research and reading to wrap my head around all of the different concepts, as it is just beyond my area of knowledge. But hopefully, I at least explained it well enough for y'all to understand.

As always, feedback is much appreciated. I know I didn't cover things in too much detail, but what can you do when there's so many proposals. I more wanted to talk about the general base ideas of each one instead of getting into the nitty-gritty for a few.

Next week I'll focus on something related to computer science, and finally the week after that, cap things off with a discussion on what Dark Matter is!

[catcas22]

Millicent's Sisters Theory(?)

Obligatory "this is 10% theory and 90% headcanon."

This started as a discussion with @thatboreddrake about the Egyptian concept of the soul. By my surface-level understanding, there are five parts: Ren is your name, your true name which encapsulates your identity, Ka is your living essence, your life force, Ib is the heart or the seat of the soul, the part of you that is judged upon death, Ba is the thing that makes you "you," your personality and reputation, and Sheut is your shadow, or the mark that you leave on the world.

Drake suggested that Millicent carries Malenia's Ba, her pride, her sense of self, the thing that made her herself. Meanwhile Malenia has been left with only her Ren, her name. Hence why she repeats her "I am Malenia, Blade of Miquella" mantra with every battle. It's the last part of herself she has left.

However, that presents a problem -- only the Ka, the Ib, and the Sheut remain, but there are four sisters to account for.

Although we don't know much about the sisters, I'm going to take my best guess based on their only real differentiating characteristics -- their weapons.

Amy bears the same blade as Malenia's teacher, the blind swordsman. I think the Sheut would fit her best. Just as the shadow the swordsman cast upon the world lives on in Malenia, Malenia's shadow lives on in Amy. I was also thinking about their names. While three out of five have "M" names like Malenia, Amy and Polyanna stick out. Then I realized that "Amy" might be a reference to "Aeonia," as in the Aeonian Bloom, the most obvious and ever-present shadow that Malenia cast upon the world.

Although there's less of a solid connection here, I'd link Mary (wields a Cleanrot Commander's Halo Scythe) with the Ka (living essence), as her weapon represents Malenia's life's work as the defender of the Haligtree. And I'd associate Maureen (wields a Golden Order Treespear) with the Ib (the heart which carries the weight of one's sins and is judged upon death).

By just about every metric, Polyanna is the odd man out. Her name doesn't fit with the others at all. She is the only one we can interact with as an ally. And she's specifically referred to as an "adopted daughter."

At first I just assumed this to mean that she's Gowry's adopted daughter, drawn from the swamp and raised like the rest. But when the sisters all show up together, they're labeled by birth order. And given that Gowry is a representative of the pest hivemind, a race born entirely from the Scarlet Rot, it could be argued that he's the closest thing the sisters will ever have to a biological father.

So here's where I abandon all pretense of evidence and dip into pure headcanon.

What if Polyanna is not Millicent's (or the others') biological sister? Sure, they all look similar, but could she be a different relation?

Is it just me, or does Malenia look a lot like her dad? Not just the hair, but her lips, her cheekbones, and her nose.

So the sisters (including Polyanna) take after Malenia. But it's fair to say they also take after Radagon a bit. Maybe Polyanna isn't their biological sister. Maybe she's their cousin, via another of Radagon's children.

Put yourself in Radahn's shoes for a moment. You go soft no-contact with your toxic family. You move to the furthest reaches of the Caelid Wilds to start your own fiefdom. As the family feud seems to be getting ready for another round, you meet someone and get married. Would you maybe be reluctant to tell your scheming siblings, your genocidal stepmother, your backstabbing father, and your dubiously trustworthy half-siblings that you now have a wife and a baby on the way?

It would add so much context to Radahn's impossible defense of Sellia and his oath of honorable death with Jerran if the big guy had a family of his own in Caelid. It would explain his half of the Aeonia clusterfrick -- Malenia refused to hold back because her twin senses told her Miquella was imprisoned in Caelid. Radahn refused to hold back because he was protecting his new family. As much as both may have hated to assume the worst of the other, neither felt that they could afford to take chances.

When the population of Caelid becomes afflicted with Scarlet Rot, Sellia becomes a ghost town, and Polyanna becomes one of many orphans left behind, Gowry takes her in because hey, you never know when a half-demigod might be useful.

It would explain why he sends her to help the Tarnished against O'Neill. While the other three sisters are potential vectors for a Bloom if Millicent fails, Polyanna would be essentially expendable to him.

[bloodgulchblog]

First section of Touchstone, insane Miller-has-a-crush-on-Master-Chief fic premise.

It is not currently nsfw. It is currently running away from me as I relish in the opportunity to flop around in this space in Halo lore like a crow in a rain puddle.

But anyway, here's how it's going so far. (Reprints the thing I posted before for coherency, mostly it's Miller suffering, eventually once I feel like I have a substantial amount of fanfiction built up here I might post it to ao3 but who knows)

—

Directing Blue Team is different from directing Crimson, or Majestic, or any other Spartan-IV team. It shouldn’t be. A Spartan fireteam is a Spartan fireteam, and Spartan-IV outcomes are equal or superior to Spartan-II. This is the official line. Miller has all the data rattling around in his head that would confirm it, all the performance metrics and wargames statlines and field reports.

But data’s only one piece of a puzzle. The other piece is the VISR feeds streaming across Miller’s display, pooling together the four perspectives that make up the whole of the mission. 

Kelly-087. Fred-104. Linda-058. John-117, the Master Chief himself.

They speak very little, they move in perfect concert, the whole execution of every objective the wargames protocol spits and Miller calls out for them is ruthlessly, antiseptically clean.

If Crimson is like a rocket launcher, the Spartan-IIs feel like a goddamn tactical nuke.

Directing Blue Team is a rush.

“Enjoying yourself?” Roland asks, the surprise lighting up all the muscles in Miller’s shoulders and making his teeth click together. The yellow figure of the Infinity’s AI, arms folded behind his back and brows arched, has co-opted the workstation’s holo display. He manages to project the full energy of someone leaning on the back of Miller’s chair despite lacking both the body and the weight to lean.

Miller feels his ears burn, like he’s been somehow caught doing… something.

He’s not going to analyze exactly what that something is or why he feels that way about watching Blue Team sighting in on a Promethean Knight, right now.

“...Sure. Just putting Blue Team through their paces,” he replies, starting off cautiously neutral. Roland hasn’t done anything yet. There’s a chance he won’t do anything, or say anything. Miller can be the bigger person. Miller can offer Roland the chance to better his track record vis a vis the doing and saying of things.

The Master Chief makes a hand signal, invisible on his cam but Miller sees it flicker in triplicate across team feeds before they all start moving. Fred-104 pops from cover to herd the Knight, tightly placed AR groups forcing it to move back before it has a chance to hit him with its scattershot. Linda-058, further off up a stone ledge where she’s been cleaning Watchers out of the air, fires a round that slices through one side of the Knight’s carapace and bursts out the other with a flare of damaged orange hardlight. It staggers and step-turns to hunt the sniperfire, and immediately gets hit from the back by Kelly-087, lightning fast with a shotgun blast that shreds the rest of the rear armor and exposes the Knight’s glowing core.

Then there’s the Master Chief. He slides in from the flank, closing immediately to drive in a knife. The Knight staggers forward and the Chief mounts up, tipping the big construct with a powerful twist of his body while he adjusts the angle of the blade. There’s nothing random about the stab, Miller can see him pull the Knight’s core with one hand while the other slices into the contacts along its rim. It screams as something pops with one disdainful flex of the Chief’s wrist, and he jumps away clean before the Knight dissolves into sparks and cinders under him.

Roland whistles appreciatively.

Miller swallows.

It’s here that he gets the first inkling that maybe, possibly, he might have a problem.

“Very nice,” Roland is saying. “Ooh, Miller. Miller! Can I tell Majestic how much this beats their time?”

“Good work, Blue Team,” Miller says, ignoring him. “That was the last target. Head back to the first waypoint, and we’ll pull you out of the sim.”

“Spoilsport,” Roland grouses. “I think a little competition would be good for Majestic! Light a real fire under ‘em.”

“Roland, clear the channel,” says the Master Chief before Miller has to do it himself. “Miller, it was a smooth run. Good job, Spartan.”

Miller’s heart doesn’t skip a beat, because that’s the sort of trouble reserved for mere mortals with organs not reinforced by polythread weave. 

And that’s the only reason.

“Thanks.”

It’s lame, Thanks, but the word gets out of his mouth in one piece and he couldn’t be more grateful.

Roland’s trying to lure the Master Chief into giving him some pointers that he can offer next time Thorne’s team runs this exercise, no doubt because he’s bored and would love to rile Majestic up, but the Chief can hold his own and Miller’s lost focus on it in the face of what he’s learning.

Because oh.

Oh.

He has a problem.

—

MJOLNIR variants, the names of specific patterns for alien weapons, the shape and flow of familiar combat situations. The ways his teams fall together, the ways the personalities play off one another or don’t. How something can happen, and someone can suddenly be different from how they were before.

The things Miller knows snap into focus every time he recognizes them, like the targeting reticle blinking awake on his HUD when the MJONLIR’s gauntlet contacts clock a supported weapon. He’s always liked knowing things, even made it his business to know things when he could be relying on a machine to pull up the details. Memory is faster, sharper, lets him fit facts together into something that might actually help. Maybe. Maybe it’s also just a certain amount of residual nerdery that the UNSC decided it liked enough not to sand off of him.

Usually, he likes this about himself too.

But right now, the new information slotting itself so helpfully into all Miller’s awareness is that the Master Chief is hot. The Master Chief is really really hot, and he can’t stop noticing.

Just not thinking about him doesn’t work. The Infinity is the biggest ship in the fleet and has a population to match, but in the grand scheme of things? She’s a small town, and Chief’s a big resident. People still talk over the rumors about the Biko peace talks, the whole slate of rumors about Requiem, about Cortana, about even quieter and older rumors only some of the Spartans are allowed to know and only most of them know if ONI isn’t asking.

People wonder stuff about Master Chief.

“How’d he take it?” is what Carmichael wonders over lunch. 

Miller twists his fork in his noodles.

“He’s…” Miller searches for a word that has nothing to do with anything he has possibly felt ever in his life. “Professional.”

“That bad?” Carmichael’s eyebrows lift. It’s more than just thinking it’s funny, though.

“Not bad,” Miller clarifies, maybe a little too quickly. “It’s just…”

Carmichael’s scheduled to do some trial runs with Blue Team, too. Palmer hasn’t said anything, but Blue Team hasn’t had to work under a Spartan mission handler since John-117 came back from the dead. Blue Team also hasn’t been out in the field since the disaster at the Biko peace talks. Everyone on S-Deck is smart enough to figure out what’s happening without having their hands held.

Carmichael’s real question, the one Miller’s trying to answer, is: How is the legendary defender of humanity doing with his wings clipped?

The answer to that question should absolutely not be hot.

“If he’s upset about it – and I’m not saying he is – he’s not showing it.”

Carmichael nods, accepting this. 

“So, how do they run?”

This one’s worse to answer. It’s so much worse. Miller can hear his pulse in his ears and feel the fork digging into his hand.

He laughs nervously. He hopes Carmichael can’t tell.

“I won’t spoil it for you.”

He can feel Carmichael studying him. Carmichael’s older, all of the other mission handlers are older than Miller and most of them are from a Spartan-IV class or two before his.

It doesn’t bother him, most of the time, but it is enough to create a divide between him and the few other people who share this highly specific job.

“Alright Miller, keep your secrets,” Carmichael says. “May the best man win, eh?”

Miller manages not to choke. Oh. Oh, no.

“That’s not what I meant, I-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Carmichael’s tone is amicable, but a little of the friendliness has slipped back. They’re not in cahoots sharing information anymore. This has gone totally professional. 

Carmichael has completely misread this. Maybe Miller has too. He didn’t realize Carmichael might care about who gets assigned Blue Team?

Maybe it would be a prestige thing? God damn it.

He tries to think of how to fix this, to make it less awkward to share workspace with Carmichael for… for however long this might last? But he can’t do it.

Carmichael finishes eating and leaves the mess first, and Miller��s shoulders sink.

He goes back over the testrun in his head as he picks at what’s left on his tray, appetite gone. Did he miss anything during the mission? Any hesitations or bad calls? What’s Commander Palmer going to say when she finally records feedback? Was it a clean run? He thinks maybe?

Is this even a competition?

Is there any chance they’ll assign Blue Team to him?

Miller thinks about the hole in his roster that’s been there since February, and his gut still twists. Fireteam Castle, all six Spartans, lost to Covenant remnant shooting down their Pelican. All the arguments with himself about whether or not there was something he could’ve done better, arguments he’s had with himself hundreds of times since, start rising to the surface of Miller’s thoughts.

He forces them all away and rests his face in his hand, fingers on one temple and thumb on the other. He breathes out, long and slow, focusing on the transfer of air until there isn’t any left and his head’s quiet again.

No. They’re not going to put him in charge of Blue Team, and it’s going to be for the best for all concerned.

[euroquision]

"The Fairest of Them All" A EuroQuision Article

Hello everyone! I hope you're ready for the first official EuroQuision article release! This one is a mathematical doozy, but trust me when I say this is worth the read. If you wanna download a PDF of the article, you can do so here!

And if you don't feel like downloading the whole thing, I'll be copying the entire article into this post after the section break so you can read it here! Thanks so much to the Patrons and other supporters that make this work possible!

The Fairest of Them All

By Beatrice Quinn

Quickly: what is the most overrated song of Eurovision 2024?

…got an answer? Ok, now: Prove it.

Today we’re talking about one of the most ambiguous, aimless, misunderstood metrics we use to say whether a song is overrated or not, and that is: Ratings. Literally! Now, we’re familiar with “ranking” Eurovision songs – dragging and re-dragging “Halo” up and down your 2022 scoreboard depending on whether or not you think Pia Maria is a real person or not – and other such activities! Ranking is crucial and emblematic to the existence of Eurovision and its fans, it hardly needs to be said. Developing babies watch the dancing fruits of Cocomelon, we watch a series of rectangles and numbers combine to shift and jump around aimlessly until they eventually settle in place. And once they’ve settled in place, forever to remain unmoving from those results, fans all across the world will continue to exist in a frenzy about how they should have landed instead.

But what’s the difference between ranking and rating? And by extension, why are the phrases “overrated” and “underrated” thrown around so frequently? Well, ranking songs is an action that always exists in and around the context of all competing songs that year. That’s why when the first Eurovision song of the season rolls around – usually courtesy of our lovely Albanians – it’s ridiculous and repeatedly unfunny to see YouTubers upload their “Eurovision 2021: Top 1 Ranking” videos. Rating a song is something you can do whether you’re talking about one song, or 42 songs. You don’t have to judge the songs ranked against each other. You can judge it based on its own merits or whatever frame of reference you have. I’m not here to write an article trying to tell people how they can or can’t rate songs – I would only ever tell that to the WiwiJury. And I would tell them politely, yet firmly, to stop.

No, I’m writing all this to do one thing: To give you a quick math lesson! And by quick, I really mean it, I promise. I swear I’m not a nerd! Well, that’s a lie. I’m a huge nerd. But I’m not a math nerd. It would be more accurate to say I’m a numbers nerd – specifically, Eurovision numbers. That’s the kind of numbers we like! We’ve seen our share of Twitter polls, asking us to choose between anything from Biggest National Final Robberies to “do you think Joker Out read the fanfic?” We just love stats and percentages! So I’m here to put those to the test in the most straight-forward, least-opinionated way possible. And let me be so clear about this: This article is not going to try and definitely prove anyone’s personal tastes right or wrong. This is about the mathematical results of how we rate Eurovision songs and whether or not this provides any accuracy.

Before we get into all the numbers: Let’s say you’re an Albania stan – a type of stan I’m familiar with, fond of, and am deeply frightened by – and you go to EurovisionWorld.com to excitedly check the results of the star ratings left by online visitors from every end of the earth, all coming to rate a song you’re excited to rate and enjoy yourself. You get there and you see: 2 stars – 2,815 ratings. Your heart sinks. “Only two stars? Is this actually a bad song? Do people hate the song? Am I dumb for liking it?” These are all things we’ve all felt about certain songs we hold dear to our heart, but it really doesn’t make sense, right? Why should a number generated by the preferences of 2,815 people sway your feelings towards a song you like? Then, as the season goes on, more songs pop up and get rated as well. As your Albanian gem middles out around 2.3 stars after 5,000 or so people decided to rate it, you see a grinning Dutch lad beating out the majority of the competition in terms of stars. “Wait, that just has so many views and over ten thousand more ratings than Albania has, what gives?” Then: the accusations start. “Joost is overrated!!” “Baby Lasagna’s hype won’t last forever.” “Vidbir said they’ll announce the results after six business days, not counting shipping and handling, but when they do, they’re gonna be so overrated.” And on the flip side: “Everyone is sleeping on Dons.” “Hera shock Q in May.” Various statements that however passionate are sadly not actually provable – at least, not in the moment.

It goes without saying that a Eurovision song’s rating out of 5 stars on EurovisionWorld does not, in any way, affect the results and winners of Eurovision. Instead, these ratings exist as a rare form of communal discussion. While the subjectivity of musical taste varies, we all get to share our opinions. And this process is what leaves us with two sides of the same undefinable coin: Over or Under Rated. 

We all have experiences with people or conversations where a fun song may be chastised for being overrated, or overly praised for being underrated. The attitude for or against a song doesn’t always exist like this – you can love an overrated song and hate an underrated one, I don’t care. But the point here is: these terms are something we relate to being an idea or descriptor, rather than something that can be mathematically determined. In fact, by treating the Eurovision “rating” system in its current state as purely a matter of statistics, we can then use that information to reference other claims against it. It’s quite scientific, if I do say so myself. Now, are both my college degrees in film, music, and writing? Yes. Did I ever get anything higher than a B in any math class I’ve ever taken? No. But allow  me to explain!

If someone were to say “Sweden is overrated,” what if there were a way to actually find out if that’s accurate or not? And once you find that out with some quick math, you can use that as evidence as to why or why not Sweden is overrated. My hope is that once we find out whether a song is mathematically overrated or underrated, we can then discuss possible reasons why or why not. Of course, this kind of question is going to be answered by collecting a LOT of numbers and doing a LOT of organization. Luckily I know someone who personally is sick enough in the head to sit down and pour through all the numbers, make the spreadsheets, make the graph, explain the equation, and write the article about it.

…it’s me. I think the “write the article” part was a giveaway, but here we are! So enough fluff, let’s get rating!

CHAPTER 1: The EuroQuision Equation!

Say that five times fast. And if you choose not to say that five times fast: I respect your decision, but I am disappointed in you.

So, we’re working with numbers. That means I am now tasked with figuring out the best way to observe the information I’m given, find out how it all balances out, and how do we compare all of that together? For context, there are two key components to finding out how over or underrated a Eurovision song is. As you’ll see while scrolling down the songs of any Eurovision year, you’ll see the stars beside them which are a result of ratings given by any IP address that rates the song. So not only do you get to see a song’s star rating, you can also see how many people contributed to that average rating. For anyone who doesn’t know, averages are a mathematical result of adding up the values of a set of inputs, then dividing that total by the amount of inputs. It’s hard to explain averages in a proper sentence, so here’s an example. If you are given the numbers 4, 8, and 3, you would first add up the numbers. 4+8+3 equals 15. Then, you take the sum (15) and divide it by how many numbers you added together. You added 3 numbers, so you divide (15 / 3) and find the average of 4, 8, and 3 is 5.

This is how those star ratings show up the way they do. If a song is rated by 10,000 people, you would add up the total stars given by each person, then divide that by 10,000. However, there’s another statistic we can find out by collecting all of this information. Like I said before in the Albania example, there are songs that only get 10,000 ratings by April, and others have hit over 40,000. You would think it’s as simple as saying “The songs with the most ratings are overrated, case closed.” But I’m here to say: not quite! If you were to rank the songs by most to least amount of ratings, that’s one result to find, sure. But I’m choosing to ask: what’s the average amount of ratings themselves? It’s something we can actually find out, since we have all the information!

Needing only the numbers provided by EurovisionWorld.com, we can find out what the average number of ratings is, and what the average number of stars is. We can’t really say who is over or underrated until we have an idea of how many people have contributed to these ratings. After finding these averages, the next step would be to compare and contrast how close or far each country deviates from those averages. Let’s say, if I were to add up all the star scores and find their average, I get an average of 3 stars. Therefore, any song that scores fewer stars than that is under average, and those scoring higher are above average. The same goes for ratings. After adding up EVERY number of ratings from each country and dividing by 37, we’ll know the average number of times a Eurovision 2024 song is rated. This will matter greatly in comparison to other years because the global attention to Eurovision grows every year. A year like 2014 is going to have a significantly lower average number of ratings simply because not as many people rated the songs in comparison to 2024. Sounds easy enough, right?

Ok, even if it’s not “easy” to understand now, it will be very soon! To help guide us into the numbers of it all, I made some visual aids! Let’s stop talking about the numbers and actually start crunching them!

CHAPTER 2: Playing With Numbers

Before we find out if any country is over or underrated, we gotta find our global averages first! Let’s look at the stars first. As you know, a song can achieve anywhere from 1 to 5 stars on EurovisionWorld.com – a very standard format! While we the voters/raters can only select a whole number of stars (one star, four stars, etc.), the website takes all those scores and calculates the average for us and displays that as a more accurate number often with a decimal point. Another important note is that I know this information doesn’t exist in stasis: songs can continue to be rated long after the contest is over. So for accuracy’s sake, I gathered ALL numerical information for this essay on one day: April 25th! This is to account for a few factors. Like I said, the amount of ratings grows over time and has a recency bias, so I didn’t want to get the ratings in late March. I also didn’t want to wait after the contest, just in case any results of the contest cause a shift in mass ratings from the rest of the world. I chose April 25th to write down every song’s current amount of ratings and current star score so that it reflected nothing but expectation and audience reaction, and without any influence from rehearsals or live shows.

Now, a song’s release day does play a part in how many ratings and stars it gets…most times. We’ll discuss that in the analysis chapter AFTER we go over all the numbers. So, this is all you need to know right now: I collected these numbers on April 25th, 2024. Additionally, there’s something else I did for making the math easier and more score-like, which is that I convert a song’s total amount of ratings into a whole number with one decimal point so that I’m operating with two factors closer to each other in size. For example, if a song has 18,311 ratings, I’m converting that to 18.3 so that I’m working with a star score of, for example, 3.6 and a rating total of 18.3, which are easier to put into the equation and find a Deviation Score that is represented by a small, whole number. The last important detail is that there WILL be more visual aids, and if any of this is still confusing by the end, let me know and I’ll figure out how to make this easier for everyone!

Lastly, you might wonder why I’m looking at both stars and ratings in this big equation. If this is about who is or isn’t fairly rated, why do the star scores matter? Well, I’m factoring both ratings and stars in a song’s Deviation Score because these numbers don’t exist separately from each other. A song only gets a star score after thousands of people leave their opinions, and people share those opinions in this medium by clicking somewhere between one and five stars. Therefore, it isn’t fair to say a song is “overrated” simply because more people have rated that song compared to others. Spam rating exists (as EurovisionWorld has learned the hard way), and there are songs every year that are perceivably more “popular” based on things like YouTube video views or Spotify streams. Those things don’t factor into this because simply watching the video or streaming the song isn’t the same thing as “rating” it. Spotify only has stream counts, and YouTube has a like or dislike button. EurovisionWorld has a conventional 5-star rating system that is determined by people from all around the world and is mathematically calculated. So by giving a song a Deviation Score that’s based on how close/far from average a song is in stars and ratings, we’re acknowledging all the factors that go into this question.

Now onto the numbers! Do you wanna take a guess as to how many ratings were left on EurovisionWorld.com from the start of the season through Apr. 25th? There was a staggering total of 689,968 ratings across 37 songs! Over half a million ratings is a lot of opinions, right? And still that’s barely a fraction of the total people who watch the show itself. Regardless, that’s the information we have to work with! So, if there’s a total of 689,986 ratings given out to 37 different songs, that means our avg. # of ratings is: 689,968 / 37 = 18,647.7838. Obviously, 18,647.7838 is an awfully long, complicated number to use. Therefore, I’m simplifying it to just 18.6 (approx. 18,600 ratings). So, 18.6 is our avg. # of ratings. As for avg. # of stars, there is a grand total of 130.1 stars totalled up between all the songs. This is a really good number, when you consider the math. For example, if every song of 2024 only got on average one (1) star, then we’d have a total of just 37 stars. So with this info, it means our avg. # of stars is: 130.1 / 37 = 3.51621622…… and many more numbers after that. Therefore, I’ll state our avg. # of stars is 3.5. Once again, this is a good number! On a scale of only one to five stars, the average of that would just be 2.5 stars, right in the middle. That means the public thinks that overall, Eurovision 2024 is a bit above an average level of quality. And I would agree! Anyway, just to sum up all the numbers we just found out, I’ll list them here:

Total amount of ratings from all songs: 689,968

Avg. amount of ratings per song: 18.6 (simplified from 18,647)

Total amount of stars from all songs: 130.1

Avg. amount of stars per song: 3.5 (simplified from 3.5162…)

For me, the easy part is over and the hard part begins. Now is when we begin to document every song’s amount of ratings, their star scores, and running the math to see how far above or below the averages they are. For the super hot and cool nerds that like excel sheets, I’ll link the viewable sheet of all the info at the end of the article! For the sake of this article, I’m going to choose a couple key examples, and those are: Sweden, the Netherlands, Iceland, and…sadly, “Israel.”

CHAPTER 3: Do We Have a Valid Result?

Let’s actually see this equation in action and find out what we can learn from all of this. The reason we’re going to be looking at these select countries is that each of them exists at a very specific point on the spectrum of overrated or underrated. We’ll begin with the country that receives arguably the most “overrated” accusations thrown at them in a given Eurovision season, and that is: Sweden! Did you find the twins’ song unforgettable? Regardless, let’s run their numbers through our equation and figure out just how “rated” they are.

As you remember from our graphic, the equation we use is shown as (a - x) + (b - y) = z. Let’s take a look at Sweden’s stats, which are documented altogether in the same list as all 37 songs. “a” is Sweden’s star score. Sweden, as of April 25th, has a score of 3.4 stars. “x” is the total average of stars across all songs, which is 3.5. (3.4 - 3.5) = -0.1. This -0.1 means that Sweden is just ever so slightly below the average score, which is something I would agree with (but that part’s just my opinion). The second half of our equation is about ratings. Sweden was rated on EurovisionWorld a total of 18,259 times. We simplify that big number just to 18.2, and we subtract the average number of ratings from that number. (18.2 - 18.6) = -0.4. Now, we can also observe that in its total number of ratings, Sweden is actually still below average, even though not by a whole lot. Now that we have -0.1 and -0.4 reflecting Sweden’s relationship to the global average of stars and ratings respectively, we combine those! (-0.1) + (-0.4) = -0.5. There you go! Sweden got a score of, overall, slightly underrated. Shocking, right? That’s right, in numbers and stats alone, Sweden is very close to the global averages. However, the claim that they’re “underrated” isn’t as true as it sounds once we look at another country through this equation.

Next, let’s take a look at a country that was 1st in the odds…only to fall from those heights down to a last place finish in their semi-final. Iceland’s song “Scared of Heights” is an interesting case. I won’t try and pretend that these ratings exist separately from a song’s public perception – or at times, their public drama. So don’t worry, we’ll address that and much more after we do more fun math activities. Not many people were running around saying “Husavik 2025!” when this got selected, but how was it rated? Iceland has the literal lowest star score out of all 37 songs this year, sitting at 2 whole stars. Since we know the global average is 3.5, that means Iceland is -1.5 stars from the average. However, this is where we can see the ways ratings and stars can differ. When it comes to stars, a song scores anywhere from 1 to 5; it’s not a very wide range. But for ratings, Iceland only has 10,951 ratings (shown as 10.9). Even compared to Sweden, that’s eight thousand fewer ratings, meaning: people either chose not to go out of their way to leave a rating, or it's just not as popular. From the average of 18.6, Iceland’s 10.9 ratings is a whole -7.7 away from the average. Let’s combine those two differences: (-1.5) + (-7.7) = -9.2. In comparison to Sweden, Iceland is actually “underrated” when we look at the numbers. That final score of -9.2 is a culmination of the song not only getting a lower score, but it comes from fewer people deciding to rate it. Would “Scared of Heights” be closer to the average amount of stars if more people had chosen to give it a rating? Or would more ratings just reflect the same sad score of 2 stars? This is something to consider when we have more context about who/which countries have more ratings than our first two examples.

They may have been disqualified for total BS reasons, but they’ll never be disqualified from my heart! The Netherlands’ “Europapa” is a song that has a lot to give it a leg up over a country like Iceland when it comes to public perception: Joost Klein is a more  “established” artist in comparison to most Eurovision competition. “Europapa” contains satirical-yet-universal lyrics that touch on personal and international topics at the same time, and the whole thing is a lot of good fun, even with a touching ending. However, this can all add up to what no sounds like a very reasonable claim of “overrated”-ness. Do the numbers reflect that? Unsurprisingly: yes, yes they do. The Netherlands has a star score of 4.1, which is the average score from a total of 35,557 ratings. Again, we see how the number of ratings can vary much wider than just star scores on their own – I can only imagine how it feels to see someone else’s song get 20,000 more ratings than yours. Let’s run the equation!. (4.1 - 3.5) + (35.5 - 18.6) => (0.6) + (16.9) = 17.5. As you can see, now that we move to the opposite end of the spectrum, the difference in influence is more observable. That score of 17.5 now properly reflects how a star score of 4.1 comes from a severe increase in number of ratings, and Joost’s popularity can very well be a factor in that, all regardless if the song is “good” or “bad.”. Like I promised, we’ll talk about the implications and conclusions these numbers can represent in a moment. We have one more “country” to look at.

“Israel,” as I’m sure you need no reminding, is the reason all of Eurovision 2024 was a complex, un-fun, total mess of a season. All the reasons supporting this can fill up their own article, so we’re going to be focusing on how 2024’s hottest potato fares in terms of stars and ratings. “Israel” and their song “Octo–” sorry, “Hurricane” has the same star score as the Netherlands, which is 4.1 stars out of 5. However, “Hurricane” has almost ten thousand more ratings than “Europapa,” at 45,255 ratings. (4.1 - 3.5) + (45.2 - 18.6) => (0.6) + (26.6) = 27.2. Just for another moment, let’s disregard the implications of this number and just compare it to the 3 other examples we’ve done. At one end of the spectrum, Iceland is underrated with a Deviation Score of -9.2, and Sweden has a Dev. Score of -0.5. As a reminder, if a country is completely and perfectly “average,” they would receive a score of 0; as in, it’s not overrated nor is it underrated. However, the score for songs being underrated are a lot less severe than the others. The Netherlands’ Dev. Score of 17.5 and “Israel’s” 27.2 are up in the double digits, but why?

Well, the first explanation is very easily observable: “Israel,” the Netherlands, and several other countries are simply rated more than other countries are. Therefore, this is evidence to support the claim that more people overrate songs than people who underrate other songs. For context, the country with the lowest number of ratings is Albania, with only 9,094 ratings and a star score of 3.1 stars. The country with the highest number of ratings is actually Croatia, with 47,315 ratings as of April 25th and has the highest “overrated” Dev. Score with 29.5. And now that we have our equation and can actually tell who is statistically over or underrated, let’s actually ask what that “means.”

CHAPTER 4: Take (It) Away

At ten pages (and two visual aids) in, we finally have some concrete numbers to look at and discuss, leading with the question: What are we meant to take away? If being over/underrated is now mathematically observable, what does it all mean? To answer that question, we need to look at the entirety of our data table and apply real-world context to the numbers we’re looking at. As I mentioned near the beginning of this article, this is not about simple labels. Let’s start with the observation I made right before this chapter, “More people are more likely to overrate songs than people are to underrate them.” This is visible in multiple ways. First, as we discovered when we found the global average of each song’s star score, we got a score of 3.5/5 – above average! But it’s not just about the stars; there’s another noticeable trend between the highest star-scoring songs and how many people have rated them. Ten songs from 2024 have a star score of 4 stars or higher – Croatia, Greece, and Serbia were all tied at 4.3 stars. Between all ten songs, they have a total of 292,504 ratings. Now at the other end of the star spectrum, how do the lowest scorers look?

Well, no song this year got less than 2 stars, now matter how much I dislike “Scared of Heights.” However, there are eight songs that scored below 3 stars, in comparison to the ten higher scoring songs. Fun fact: Finland’s “No Rules!” is the lowest-ranking song that qualified for the final (as of April 25th), whereas the highest ranked NQ was Belgium. Anyway, between those eight songs underneath 3 stars, there’s only 129,063 ratings, which is approx. 170 thousand fewer ratings. The numbers don’t lie: if anyone ever claims “Eurofans just like to hate things,” statistically that’s wrong! It’s not impossible, either. On that note, though, one would be allowed to ask “But doesn’t that mean there are songs that are overrated?” And if you’re talking about the literal, specific definition of songs having a greater number of ratings than others, then yes you’re right. But I have a feeling that most people say the word “overrated” more emotionally than logically. Remember how I introduced Sweden as one of the most frequently overrated countries? My guess is that you didn’t disagree with that claim. And I’m not just guessing: I’ve seen every upset Kaarija stan, Mans-hater, and person with ears that dislikes “If I Were Sorry.” Sweden’s no stranger to the overrated accusation, but we just saw how this year that’s statistically untrue. The most perfectly middle-rated song this year is Luxembourg’s “Fighter” with a Deviation Score of -0.4. Sweden, Slovenia, Austria, and Czechia round out the Top 5 Most-Midrated Songs of 2024. And like the title of this article says, these five songs are by all definition “the fairest” of them all. Czechia is actually closest to the average number of ratings (that 18.6 we’ve been using in the equation) with 18,614 ratings. But hey, I like to indulge my own curiosity, so I wondered if these numbers are connected at all to who did or didn’t qualify. In Eurovision 2024, 11 songs did not qualify to the Grand Final. So, let’s look at the 11 most statistically-underrated songs!

They are from lowest to highest (of the low): Albania, Iceland, Azerbaijan, Moldova, Australia, San Marino, Armenia, Portugal, Malta, Latvia, and Cyprus. Now, Denmark and Poland aren’t that much higher than these 11, but they managed to not be in the bottom 11. And of these lowest 11 Dev. Scores, 7 ended up being NQ’s. In fact, it’s more understandable why the few Q’s of the bottom 11 are here. Armenia was the last-revealed song of 2024, and Portugal had the very last National Final of the season. They didn’t have as much time between their selection and April 25th when I collected the numbers like other songs had. And yet, Albania was one of the earliest selections and sits at the very bottom of the list – time may not heal all wounds. 

Cyprus and Latvia are the other two songs from the Bottom 11 of the Underrated’s that qualified, and I genuinely think this is where the legitimate factor of chance plays a part. Cyprus came 6th in its semi, so we can state that the live performance and competition of the semi elevated Cyprus to a better position in the televoters’ preference, despite the odds! Latvia could be a similar case, as it finished 7th in the second semi-final. Then come Saturday, the two songs ended up right next to each other on the scoreboard with Cyprus at 15th and Latvia at 16th. As we keep moving up the list of Deviation Scores, we can spot the four songs that did qualify in the eyes of the raters, but not in the show itself. Denmark is just above Cyprus, and two more spots up is Poland. Four more spots up is Czechia among the most midrated songs of the year, so they were a true “Could go either way” case. Then in the biggest jump to our final non-qualifier, Belgium is 11 spots higher than Czechia and sits at being the 9th Most Overrated of 2024. Here and now, we have finally arrived at the fabled: Shock NQ. Now, a non-qualifier being a “shock” is up to your own opinion. If you’re me, you’re sitting here writing this article knowing damn well you knew Belgium’s Q-streak was over before Mustii hit the stage. This is the honest truth, and only Silia Kapsis has the right to try and say otherwise. But it also can be said that it’s not about asking “Who was the Shock NQ?” and more about asking “Who had the most attention before they NQ’d?” And the answer would be Belgium! Anyway, at this point I’m starting to think to myself “Huh, can using this over/underrated equation be a method to possibly predict a country’s qualification?”

…and then I remembered: Qualifiers are chosen entirely by televote. Therefore, if the Deviation Scores can predict the qualifiers with about 64% accuracy, can it predict the televoting Top Ten?...Let’s find out!

When looking at the Top Ten Most Overrated Songs of 2024, we have:

1st. Croatia

2nd. Israel

3rd. Netherlands

4th. Switzerland

5th. Italy

6th. France

7th. Ukraine

8th. Greece

9th. Belgium

10th. Ireland

(11th: Lithuania)

And for comparison, let’s look at the Top Ten of the 2024 Televote:

1st. Croatia

2nd. Israel

3rd. Ukraine

4th. France

5th. Switzerland

6th. Ireland

7th. Italy

8th. Greece

9th. Armenia

10th. Lithuania

To begin, you’ll notice I included the 11th Most Overrated song in parenthesis, which is Lithuania. I did this to reflect that even though the Netherlands is 3rd Most Overrated, they sadly weren’t able to receive the televotes they deserved the night of the Final. Using the data from this table alone, my conclusion on the Netherlands is that they were easily going to place Top Ten in the Televote, which would then leave who in 11th? Lithuania. All that’s left is to replace Belgium – a poorly-staged pop ballad with a party-harshing climax – with Armenia, which is a song bursting with fun, flawless vocals, and something so Armenian it caused Azerbaijan to get sent to the Doom Dimension. Additionally, mostly out of curiosity, I checked how many more reviews “Jako” has on EurovisionWorld as of May 22nd, and they’re up from ~12,000 ratings to ~18,000 while maintaining their 3.7 star score both times – that’s a show of quality and enjoyment from audiences over time. So other than those cases…I think I just mathematically figured out how to predict the televote? And, I don’t even mean the Top Ten – I mean the whole competition.

So I ask you this: What do we do when we are suddenly given information about the ways the results of Eurovision can be reflected in data before the fact? The answer is not “try and make a profit.” No, that’s not how EuroQuision works. Instead: we use it as mathematical evidence that propaganda fucking works.

CHAPTER 5: Couldn’t See It Comin’

Except: now we know we did see it coming.

Before we dive into the serious stuff, you might be thinking that what I’ve presented is an attempt or desire to “break Eurovision” or take advantage of this information for personal gain. I won’t deny that bets play a huge role in Eurovision – it’s how we get the odds in the first place. But if you know me, you know I’m not in this for the money, even though that may differ from the EBU’s intentions. The truth is that I don’t have any practical means to try and “profit” from any way this information could be used. Part of journalism and sharing of information is the inability I have to control how it’s used despite my best intention.

My intention with this article is to provide evidence that “Israel’s” attempts at utilizing Eurovision to get a good result and repaint their global image was nearly perfect, and the numbers said it was going to happen the whole time. Even without the numbers from EurovisionWorld, we knew how desperate “Israel’s” pleas for votes from the world were. From Duolingo’ing her way across the internet to coordinated efforts to vote en masse in various countries, Eden Golan was gunning for a televote win that she nearly reached, and that’s assuming every single one of those votes were completely legitimate. This is not said to try and accuse anyone of fraudulent voting when I don’t have evidence to support that. I mention it because vote buying is a practice that has been done in the past and actual delegations received punishment for doing so. Given the context of every other effort “Israel” put into their campaign for votes – and I mean everything: begging other artists/teams for positive press and harassing them to the point of retaliation – doesn’t make fraudulent voting seem out of the question. 

Unfortunately, I am no expert on voter fraud – ironic, me being an American and all, but I digress. This is something that, if proven true, will be revealed in the time post-Eurovision 2024. And if it’s true, I will happily discuss it! But for now, I can only  talk about what we do know, which is the newfound connection between EurovisionWorld’s sample of public ratings indicating a song’s predicted success or failure in the contest. This connection is reflective of the greatest tool a Eurovision song has: public perception. Or as some countries treat it: propaganda. Even though “Israel” is a country being sued by the ICJ for genocide, actively commit acts of violence to Palestinians as well as fellow-EBU member countries Lebanon, Jordan, and Egpyt, and were told multiple times by the EBU reference group to rewrite their political song lyrics, they still performed and qualified and finished Top Ten. Truly, did we even need my equation to prove “Hurricane” was overrated? Not really. Instead, “Hurricane” being so statistically overrated was a symptom of the larger effect of a successful PR campaign. When you consider that “Israel’s” mere existence inside of Eurovision is in itself a PR campaign, none of this is surprising. “Israeli” media took every possible moment to try and tell the world that their Eurovision participation was a good thing and truly represented being “united by music.” They did this in commercials and even in what “Israel” calls a sketch comedy show. 

All of these factors had me worried that despite my best hopes and efforts, somehow “Israel” would pull off a good result when they should have been removed months ago. However, the numbers were there the whole time. As we can see, the numbers don’t only apply to solely to “Israel.” Just as they came 2nd in my list and 2nd in the televote, Croatia was 1st in both, and the accuracy of the Top Ten as well as the bottom eleven/NQ’s can’t be ignored either. Truly think about that for a moment: on April 25th – several days before we saw any rehearsal footage or official performance – we knew with 80-90% accuracy the Grand Final televote results and who wasn’t going to qualify with 64% accuracy. And before you suggest that this was a Eurovision 2024-exclusive phenomenon, I thought of that too! So as a surprise fun addition, I ran my equation with the 2023 songs as well!

Since I can’t travel back in time to April 25th 2023, there’s no way I could collect all the ratings and stars with the same accuracy as I did for 2024, Thankfully, using the Wayback Machine Internet Archive. I managed to “go back in time” to a window of time spanning from mid-April to early-May and collect all the numbers. Even with a wider window of information, the 2023 Deviation Scores proved to be almost identical in accuracy – even more accurate in some cases. Starting with the Bottom 11 Most Underrated according to my equation, 9 of those countries turned out to be NQ’s. At the other end with the Top 10 Most Overrated, 7 out of those 10 did in fact finish in the Televote Top 10. And who was the most “overrated” of 2023? Not Finland, not Sweden, but “Israel” and “Unicorn.” This shows that for two years in a row, despite the drastic shift in public opinion and discussion concerning Israel’s participation, their songs that directly correlate to geopolitical aggression and self-victimization proved effective in the realm of Eurovision. So once again, I ask you, the reader: What do we do? CONCLUSION

Since I’m aware that a 20-page article is a bit long, I will go ahead and just list out the most important bits of information I covered and discussed:

Using the information from EurovisionWorld.com, we created an equation that figures out how close or far a song is from the global average of both stars and number of ratings.

Comparing these Deviation Scores reflects a somewhat-accurate correlation between how much the public “rates” a song and whether that song qualifies or potentially comes Top Ten in the Televote

Once these connections can be observed, we can discuss what factors or influences play a part in these connections (Is a song more popular? Is it less popular? Is it representing a country committing war crimes and hopes no one notices? Etc etc.)

Finally, here in the conclusion of all of this, we can answer that third point. As I mentioned, cases like Joost and “Europapa” being overrated are fairly easy to explain; well-known artist, extremely radio-friendly banger song, the list goes on. It also reflects why Iceland and “Scared of Heights” is near the bottom; a more “generic” paint-by-numbers pop song with simple English lyrics, a very unambitious composition, etc etc. However, there’s a difference between a song being over/underrated based on merit, and those with scores based on skewed public opinion one way or another.

I won’t pretend for a moment that spam-liking or spam-disliking doesn’t exist. For example, I’m aware of how Bashar Murad was the clear favorite to win over Hera Bjork, but sadly finished 2nd in what felt like a very devastating blow to the potential of Palestinian representation at Eurovision when it’s needed most. Anyone who rated Iceland poorly because of this is able to do so just as fairly as those who rate it low based on song quality alone. I cannot control the reasons as to why people choose to rate a song high vs. low.

Conversely, you might reasonably be saying “If ‘Israel’ is continuing to treat this as one big PR stunt, wouldn’t that mean all those positive ratings and their televote score are a result of artificially inflating the numbers and/or buying votes?” And as much as that’s one possible explanation, I’ll remind you that there are people who genuinely just enjoy “Hurricane” and dislike having to engage in contextualizing “Israel’s” Eurovision participation. For example, Worldvishawn is a Eurovision TikTok creator with over 300,000 followers, and on multiple occasions has published videos voicing his enjoyment and support of “Hurricane” this year. In a video discussing “Hurricane’s” rehearsals, he notes that the song is a “9/10” and is a case where “the live vocals are better than the studio version.” The issue here is not the fact that a fan of Eurovision has a positive opinion of a song that a lot of people dislike, that’s never a problem with me. The issue is that people with large platforms are able to give their opinions to hundreds of thousands of people with the click of a button and provides a space where people can attempt to remove any context of “Hurricane” and “Israel” whatsoever and just say the song is good. This is what indicates to me that all the positive numbers surrounding this song aren’t all completely fabricated and this should not conclude in a baseless accusation of buying or faking votes.

Eurovision 2024 was a year where at every level of control, nearly everyone chose to do nothing rather than doing something. At the tippy top of the ranks, it was up to the EBU to remove “Israel” because of their own previously-established actions and morals concerning geopolitical violence during Eurovision, specifically in the case of Russia. After they refused to do that, it was the responsibility of participating broadcasters to withdraw and refuse to participate. After all 37 broadcasters refused to actually do anything, it was up to the artists to put their career aside and take a stand in the public eye. And then, none of the artists did that! Some showed and voiced their advocacy, but none of them showed solidarity. If you aren’t familiar with the difference between advocacy and solidarity, advocacy is when you “advocate” your morals and beliefs in your words and attitude. Solidarity is when you put those words to action and actually do something actionable to disrupt the status quo to be in solidarity with those who are suffering and against a system of power that is ignoring them. And since none of the artists’ advocacy led to solidarity, there we were with a Grand Final with “Israel” coming 2nd in the televote and no one doing anything about it.

Now, I could go down the entire chain of responsibility of “Who needs to do something about this?” and eventually land where I and many others have been for months, which is the fun destination of Boycottville, but a lot of people hear the B-word and think its an invitation to start arguing and calling me a hypocrite. What I will state is this: boycotting is not something asked of us to try and simply prove our morals for show or optics, and it is not something we ask people do to in order to shame them should they choose not to. Boycotting is what we do when every level of command above us refuses to do anything about a system that is completely broken and exploitable. The numbers were there from the beginning and even I can admit I was foolish when I stated in my own video essay that “‘Israel’ isn’t going to get an enormous televote score.” That is something I said based on optimism and my own reasoning, before I actually came up with this equation and ran all the numbers. I was proven very wrong and I think I’m not the only one.

In the end, I need to remind us all that this was never about the results, it was never about “making sure ‘Israel’ doesn’t win.” If this were truly about making sure “Israel” didn’t win, then we would all have had to agree on one (1) artist to mass-vote for AND hope the juries liked as well, but that would be literally impossible. Whereas Eurofans could argue “Let’s mass-vote Croatia!” or “Mass-vote Ukraine again,” that is nowhere as easily and streamlined as it is for Zionists, “fake” votes, and “Israeli” fans to just spend all their money on voting for “Hurricane.” So once again: THIS IS NOT ABOUT RESULTS. The numbers sadly reflected “Israel” succeeding in their campaign nearly the entire way, and because they know that Eurovision is a system where everyone from the broadcasters to the fans don’t actually want to do anything that poses a threat to this silly contest, they’ll get the numbers they want. Trying to beat “Israel” at the game of Eurovision is a mathematical impossibility as things currently stand, and if EVERYONE continues to not want to change their behavior (the EBU, the broadcasters, the artists, the news websites, even the fans themselves), then “Israel” will keep playing this game successfully for years to come.

“The Fairest of Them All”

Researched and Written by Beatrice Quinn

Research Data Links:

Eurovision 2024: Deviation Scores

Eurovision 2023: Deviation Scores

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[whatthesithitskyra]

Fluffy Merrical snippets

For @wayfaringjedi and all the lovely people in the Metrical server

Taste

He never thought too much about what was on his plate, until now. Not metaphorically, no - he'd spent enough time dwelling over the crap life had thrown at him.

Quite more literally, he never really cared about what the food he ate tasted like, as long as it kept him going for another day.

That was yet another thing she changed when she tiptoed into his life.

He only realized after their nighttime routine of having supper together had long set in. After it'd become natural, like swinging his saber, or focusing on the Force. He'd gather some ingredients (nothing fancy, fancy was well beyond his comfort zone), and she'd expertly throw them together into something not only edible, but actually good. Sometimes they'd eat in silence, some others they'd chat about everything and nothing at all - about Greez' obsession with keeping an even number of couch pillows, or the happiest or saddest memories of their childhoods.

And slowly, night by night, meal by meal, that brought them closer. And finally, for once, things tasted good.

Music

Then there was that time he found himself humming along to music. It wasn't a strange occurrence per se, he'd always loved music, if only for a detail: no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't recognize that song.

It felt familiar, like overhearing a conversation in a different language than Common - he could tell where one word ended and when another began, if they were spoken in joy or shouted in anger, but the meaning was lost to him.

He searched for the song in his whole music library, listened to advertising jingles and saloon songs.

No trace of it.

He caught himself humming along to the mysterious tune a few times before realisation dawned on him. He knew where that song came from, he'd heard her sing it, a melody that didn't need words to speak to his soul, a soft hum that echoed in the atmosphere, as if it was meant for him, and him alone.

And it was only when he started waking up more rested, and his nightmares grew scarcer and less terrifying, that he understood the truth of it.

Echo

the first time she kisses him, he doesn't know what gets to him the most.

Is it her warm breath tickling his cheeks as she draws near? the softness of her hands, one cupping his jaw, the other resting on his back? Or finally, the taste of her lips, how warm and cool they feel at the same time?

Is that her Magick interacting with his Force halo that's making every hair on his body stand to attention, his heart beat faster, and time seem to stop?

The echo of that kiss still lingers on his jacket. Not a full-fledged echo, like the ones he runs into when exploring old tombs or Jedi Chambers. Something more... delicate. Simple.

Something that makes him wonder if it's etched in the Force itself, or in his own soul.

[jeffgerstmann]

why does playstation still outsell xbox 2:1? is microsoft STILL paying for the 2013 drm debacle?

I think that's probably part of it, but I'd probably look at the entirety of the previous generation, not just the DRM shit. The Xbox One was an under-powered piece of tech. The PS4 did great, they had smart initiatives to court indies that also helped earn them a lot of goodwill, and all of that is still paying off for them this time around. Sony also has games and first-party franchises that people want to play, and unlike Microsoft, Sony has been able to produce and ship a pretty decent number of those games already. People used to always talk about how games like Uncharted and most of the first-party games were big, but not necessarily as big as Sony felt they could/should be, but even if that's actually true, those games add up. In a world where the differences in hardware between the two machines are kinda minor, being able to say HERE ARE OUR BIG EXCLUSIVE GAMES matters. Sony's also been pretty smart about which games they go after. Surely getting Final Fantasy would be enough to sway some number of people to buy a PS5 over an Xbox Series X.

I also think Microsoft probably needs to be smarter about advertising and educating the mass market about Game Pass? Like do people even know it exists? I guess I'm not the best judge of that since I don't really watch any TV at all, but like... there should be big Game Pass ads on sports games and shit like that. For the mainstream game player who kinda operates on a budget and has a different mindset than the "core" "player," I would think that selling them on "the Netflix for video games" or whatever would be kind of a no-brainer.

In short, Sony has better third-party support, particular with Japanese developers, and their first-party games seem like they're really resonating with people in a way that Microsoft's simply aren't anymore. Maybe Call of Duty or Fortnite are factors here, and their rise helped lower interest in things like Halo or Gears of War? Regardless, it really feels like Microsoft's first-party teams just don't have what the masses are looking for anymore and with due respect to Forza, Starfield is their only big bet (that we know of).

All of that said, though... Microsoft's fortunes in gaming have been spread out. Their first-party games appear on PC and even in third-party stores like Steam. Some percentage of people who might've bought an Xbox are now realizing they don't need to buy one at all. Microsoft has more or less said that they're OK with that trade-off, but it sure does make a lot of these comparison points look rough for them. Ultimately we don't really know what "success" looks like for the Xbox division anymore because their business is more diverse and weird than it used to be (or, to compare, the Xbox business turns on different metrics than Sony's does). They've always seemed like they're taking the long view on things, for whatever that's worth.

[frodothefair]

My Frodo Playlist:

I swear can explain every one of these:

"Trouble" - Taylor Swift

"Bella Ciao" - La Casa De Papel from Money Heist

"Old Money" - Lana Del Rey

"In Dreams" - Roy Orbison

"The Fools Who Dream" - La La Land

"Dreams Are My Reality" - La Boum

"Surface Pressure" - Encanto

"All Of You" - Encanto

"I Will Wait for You" - The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, arranged for guitar

"Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem ft. Rihanna

"Black Sheep" - Metric for Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

"Don't Talk To Me About Tomorrow" - Sandra Lisa

"Wrecking Ball" - Miley Cyrus, classical arrangement for Bridgerton

"Halo" - Beyonce, classical arrangement for Bridgerton

"Dancing On My Own" - Robyn, classical arrangement for Bridgerton

"I Will Always Love You" - Whitney Houston, classical arrangement for Queen Charlotte

A few that actually make sense:

"Poppy's Song / Wandering Day" - Rings of Power

"The Misty Mountains Cold" - The Hobbit Trilogy

"Into the West" - Annie Lennox from The Return of The King

...And a few more in my native language that I don't feel comfortable sharing. :/

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

"Men are the problem with the gaming community"

*Sigh* people make it really hard to not discuss this stuff. Really and truly is love to never talk about men's and women's issues at all. Because it's always stupidly divisive. What's more, I two to be as middle of the road as I can be on all of this. This despite having claims levied against me that I hate women. I don't. Not even remotely. However, I can't ignore stuff like that above quote because I have nephews who I want to grow up in a world where they don't have to feel like predators and evil people for just existing.

This video showcase a woman talking about how "men are the issue with gaming communities and she feels physically unsafe in gaming lobbies"

First of all, no you don't. You have a mute button and a block button. Hell you have a MUTE ALL button in most lobby based games. But gaming started as mostly a male thing. Contrary to what a lot those that won't agree say, having never had to make a shift towards advertising to men and boys because it has always interested men and boys. That's not to say in any metric that women were never interested in video games at all but that number was significantly less. Men involve themselves in a lot of banter and generally trash talk one another quite a bit. And the important point about all of that is the fact that men have a tendency to speak incredibly harshly when they don't mean it. Because they know how they talk to one another that's why whenever you hear some of the most vile stuff in a Halo or call of duty lobby, people will literally start laughing. Because it's so offhanded and unhinged that it's funny. And 99.99% of the things said in a call of duty lobby outside of maybe making plans with IRL friends tends to be random nonsense.

But the fact of the matter is men don't make gaming communities worse. But a lot of men are not going to temper their speech just because women are in their spaces. Yes, gaming is very much a shared space and that has been something that men have wanted for a long time. Having said that however men have wanted their cake and eat it too in this particular instance because a lot of women that end up as influencers like the one featured in this video tend to be the worst kind.

Because not only did she blame all men for being evil effectively, but she also went out of her way to say that she wanted to make sure that her and her partner did not have a cis male child. She wanted to make sure that they do everything in their power to make them trans or gay. With someone coming around to try to say that it was a joke but had none of the signs of a punchline. Not just that but she sounded 100% serious in saying it and did not have a joking tone or demeanor at all. As such I'm going to take her at face value because she's not a known comedian like Ryan Reynolds who does dry humor. The difference is he's funny. Joking about making your kid trans or gay so they don't end up being cis or straight isn't a joke and it's not even remotely funny.

However I should say this. I do not believe in any capacity that gaming should be a male only or completely male dominated by force space. However people need to understand that men and women fundamentally communicate differently. Even as young as teenagers and before. That's just truth.

But I also want to add this, the idea of men patrolling other men and gaming spaces just seems and feels dishonest to me. If you can't stand the heat get out of the volcano. (I feel like the proper version of this phrase would be in poor taste). Men do typically patrol other men and manners that actually matter. But you need to realize one very specific thing. When men stand up to other men for shit talking women, especially in places where it is typically male-dominated, the end result is that man getting absolutely eviscerated because he is seen as a white knight. Because I don't know about you but the women that I know in gaming spaces can give back as well as they can get. And they shit talk like one of the guys. And honestly I have a lot of respect for them because of it. Because if you can't handle it maybe the spaces aren't for you. Or you can play without voices on lobby.

But this very much sounds like a case of invading a space and demanding it changed to cater to what you want. Yes, there are men out there that are complete shitheads. And I'm not going to say that that's not the case. And if one of those people in game finds a way to stalk you or otherwise that's something entirely different. And in cases like that you will have men stand up and figure out how to communicate with this person and deal with them. But people need to very much understand that there is a difference between bullying/harassment, and trash talking. And when it comes to FPS games and fighter games trash-talking is par for the course.

[gasha40k]

As stated in my last post, World Eaters have occupied the vast majority of both my 40k time and my 40k energy for a number of months now. I’m even planning on joining a local league with my Khorne army, which I suppose means they’ve usurped the Thunderbearers as my “main” army, even though I love all of my tiny plastic sons equally. But regardless of the fact that they’re not exactly my primary army, the Thunderbearers are still my little men. The World Eaters may be my favorite faction, but they’re not my fully custom homebrewed little men that I’ve been collecting, customizing, and writing for years now.

I think it’s a good time to start working on my Astartes again. GW has been releasing a lot of banger kits recently, and since the turn of the edition, my drop pod strats have been more viable than ever. I’ve got some plans for the army going forwards, so I wanna talk about some of those here.

The new Company Heroes box is one of my favorite Primaris kits ever released. Each one of these sculpts fucking rocks, but I’m particularly interested the two decked out Veterans. Even more particularly the dude with the heavy bolter. Thing is, the actual datasheet attached to the kit is kind of mid, so instead of actually using the squad, I’m gonna cannibalize the kit for bits.

The Captain and the Ancient will be used as their solo datasheets. Not sure what I’ll do with the Champion, but I’m thinking I’ll use him to build a Librarian. The two veterans, however, are both gonna get recycled into Captain models.

Zaraf Görefried “the Red Roar” Redfale, Lord-Captain of the 2nd Company, forgotten prince of Manticore

Each Thunderbearers Company is a semi-autonomous armada, a vast independent warfleet of such concentrated force that it resembles a microcosmic Chapter in and of itself, albeit one with incredibly diminished numbers.

Due to their high levels of operational freedom, each Thunderbearers Company contains unique cultures and subtle variances of the Chapter’s doctrines. As such, those leading the Companies—the Captains, known interchangeably as Lords—are the greatest paragons of their fleet, representing most succinctly in both character and action the ideals of their individual Company.

Because of this, I’m trying to kitbash an interesting and characterful model for each Captain. Their model should tell a tale about them as an individual, but it should also be the clearest visual representation of their Company’s tactics and culture.

Perseus Lahan, “the Thunder Hand,” Lord-Captain of the 3rd Company

So going back to the Company Heroes, the robot lad is going to get converted into Perseus Lahan, the 3rd Captain. Perseus is known as “the Thunder Hand” not only for his sick ass gilded golden arm, but for his ruthlessly efficient decision-making and his finely honed (yet seemingly endless) temper.

This model is a pretty simple conversion, but super effective as a Captain, I think. I may also replace the circular thang on his power pack with a better iron halo, but I’ll get there when I get there.

Lazarus Sicane, “the White Wind,” Chapter-Master of the Thunderbearers and herald of the great storm

Heavy bolter guy gets better treatment than the robot arm guy though, of course. He’s gonna get converted into my Chapter-Master.

This will be Lazarus Sicane, the savior of the Chapter. He wields Exaction, an ancient, hyper-artificed bolt cannon that may or may not contain a dominated Warp entity. Lazarus is responsible for a lot of things in the Thunderbearers canon, including but not limited to reunifying the decimated Chapter after the opening of the Great Rift. He is, for all intents and purposes, the Chapter’s greatest hope, and one behind which all of its fleets rally.

I’m really excited to get this guy built because he’s kind of the quintessential Thunderbearers model. Old mark armor, lots of robes, gothic shit all over, a gargantuan ballistic cannon, and a metric fuckton of purity seals. He’ll also be super cool for narrative purposes, and definitely a bit of a centerpiece model.

Accompanying him will be a squad of Terminators, the Storm Guard, whenever I pick up a squad of those.

2nd Company Specialist test color scheme, courtesy of a friend

Since Companies are their own autonomous things, it makes sense for them to have their own heraldry, as well. To add some visual variety to my army, I’ve decided that a few of my dudes (specifically my Gravis units) are gonna get some red coloring to denote them as members of the 2nd Company.

The 2nd Company has a large quantity of recruits sourced from the world Manticore, which is a big hostile ball of frozen red sands. The red ceramite is an homage to the red-colored armor that warriors would wear as camouflage in the sand dunes.

I’m not entirely decided upon what color scheme to run with. The red helmet and red shoulder pad are cool, I think, but a red helmet and a red weapon may also work just as well. I’ll do some coloring tests to decide on what works best, but that’s about all I’ve got regarding loreposting and planning for my Space Marines. Outside of the Company Heroes, I’m gonna grab a Gladiator Lancer at some point, as well as an Impulsor. Gotta get my armor up.

[bzedan]

[ID: An digital illustration evocative of the singing flowers in Disney's Alice In Wonderland, with airbrush shaded backgrounds but coloured line cell-shading for the main figure. The flower is a California Poppy with the face of Garfield. In pink tilted letters in the upper left corner is "March" over a turquoise hand-drawn looking font with "2024." End ID.]

Finally got an over-three-hour playlist, bits of spring means ups and downs and sad wet cat feelings along with the manic joy of the days getting longer. I've mentioned this before but every time I hear All Saints' "Love Lasts Forever" part of me thinks it is the theme song to *Highlander*. Bless my brain where there's some pop girl version of *Highlander*. Can you imagine?!

Related media to some of the songs:

The very awesome Cola Boyy died this month at 34, which is not enough years but I'm glad we were given what we did. His disco pop is a joy and his cover of 'To Be Rich Should Be a Crime' is the version that lives in my head. Here's a mini-doc over on Vimeo that came out with that single.

I stumbled across Tele Novella this month and they hit a lot of sound boxes for me. "Eggs in one Basket" has an appropriately weird video. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTB-uwAd0v8)

I'd heard "Pump Up the Volume," of which Colorbox was part (primary part, for this song) before because I'm a person living in the world the years I have, but somehow hadn't encountered "The Moon Is Blue"?! One of those bands for whom things went right then fell apart. Wolfgang Tillmans did an exhibition collecting their work in a "playback room" exhibition.

I remain fond of younger folks reinterpreting the imagery and sound from my high school years and Lauran Hibberd hits that. See 2nd prettiest girl as an example.

Anyway here's a link to March's playlist on Spotify, with the track list below the cut. 

And embedded if you dig that:

'Don't Let the Green Grass Fool You' - Wilson Pickett

'King's Crossing' - Elliott Smith

'Hearts and Flowers' - Jennifer Lopez

'Cloudy Day' - Tones And I

'99 Luftballons' - Stereoact

'Waters of March' - Art Garfunkel

'Pop Goes The World' - Men Without Hats

'Mother Nature' - MGMT

'The Moon Is Blue' - Colourbox

'Ask The Community' - Timber Timbre

'Good Times' - Eric Burdon & the Animals

'So Much (For) Stardust' - Fall Out Boy

'Masquerade - Re-Recorded' - Berlin

'Era Primavera' - Chicano Batman

'wavering grass' - demon gummies

'All Night Long (All Night)' - Lionel Richie

'Love Lasts Forever' - All Saints

'Rhythm Of The Night' - DeBarge

'Only You Can' - Fox

'Can't Get Enough' - Jennifer Lopez

'That Time' - Regina Spektor

'Daniel' - Bat For Lashes

'Calling All Kids' - Arthur Russell

'Talkin' Like You (Two Tall Mountains)' - Connie Converse

'Psychic Vampire' - Tristen

'And When I Die' - Peter, Paul and Mary

'Dancing with Tears in My Eyes' - Ultravox

'Alien Boy' - Oliver Tree

'Baby Blue Sedan' - Modest Mouse

'Bulletproof' - La Roux

'Help I'm Alive' - Metric

'Eggs in one Basket' - Tele Novella

'Perfect (Exceeder)' - David Guetta

'Bullet With Butterfly Wings - Remastered 2012' - The Smashing Pumpkins

'Right Time of Night' - Urban Heat

'Paper Crown' - Tele Novella

'Balloon Man' - Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians

'The Rubberband Man' - The Spinners

'It Won't Be Long' - Tele Novella

'Hurdy Gurdy Man' - Donovan

'Aladdin' - Future Islands

'Beautiful People' - The Books

'Don't Touch My Bikini' - The Halo Benders

'Toy Boy' - MIKA

'Keep It Rolling' - Bloc Party

'Don't You Evah' - Spoon

'Paper Thin Walls' - Modest Mouse

'Peach Sky' - Bat For Lashes

'Heathens' - AURORA

'Dancing Barefoot' - Patti Smith

'To Be Rich Should Be a Crime' - Cola Boyy

'Bugs' - O'Death

'pretty good for a bad day' - Lauran Hibberd

'Synthetica' - Metric

'Hermit the Frog' - MARINA

[awritingcaitlin]

✨Vibes✨

4 Songs 3 Visual Media 2 Books 1 Author

✨BREWING WAR VIBES✨ 🎧 "Bullets" by Archive, "Opacus" by Arkasia, "Heartlines" by Florence + the Machine, "High Priests" by Ronan Hardiman 📺 Witcher, Arcane, Dragon Age 📕 THE THOUSAND NAMES, WAY OF KINGS ✍🏻Brandon Sanderson

✨ SiegeWIP vibes ✨ 🎶 "Avalanche" by FLETCHER, "Love Lost" by Mattia Cupelli, "An Toll Dubh" by Runrig, and "Steampunk Dogfight" by Escape the Clouds 🍿 Sharpe's Rifles, Dishonored, SW: The Clone Wars 📗 DUNE and MISTBORN 🖊️ Robert Jordan

✨ CureWIP vibes ✨ 🎵 "Jump!" by Thomas Bergeson, "Whispers" by DREAMOIR, "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten, "Alba" by the Sidh 📽️ Firefly, Cowboy Bepob, and Warhammer 📘 The Expanse series and CRIMSON QUEEN ✏️Diane Duane

✨ Violin Heist Vibes ✨ 🎻"The Hero Within" by James Paget, "Halo of Light" by Taylor Davis, "Roundtable Rival" by Lindsey Stirling, "Wild Heart" by Thomas Bergeson 🎦Pirates of the Caribbean, Mission Impossible, Fullmetal Alchemist 📔MISTBORN era 2, FOUNDRYSIDE 🖋️ Tamora Pierce

✨ SecretSoup2 Vibes ✨ 🎧"Dog Days Are Over" by Florence + the Machine, "Never Say Die" by CHVRCHES, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper, and "What About Us" by P!nk 🎮Xenogears, Tales of Symphonia, Xenoblade Chronicles 📙Discworld, KH novelization 📝Every ND fanfic author

✨ Team W Vibes ✨ 🎵 "Don't You Worry Child" (PTX cover), "Rebels in the Light" by Manicanparty, "Gold Guns Girls" by Metric, "Night Sky" by CHVRCHES 🎮Kingdom Hearts, Spiderverse, Super Smash Brothers Brawl 📘His Dark Materials, Circle of Magic ✍🏻x-over fanfic writers

✨ The Great Game Vibes ✨ 🎶"Walk me Home" by P!nk, "A Praise Chorus" by Jimmy Eat World, "Disarm" by Smashing Pumpkins, "Moondance" by Nightwish 📺Hero among Thieves, Disney's Atlantis, Chrono Trigger 📘The Witcher Series, THE SHADOW THRONE 🖊️Claudia Grey

✨Aftermath Vibes✨ 🎼"I'm not Okay (I Promise)" by My Chemical Romance, "We Don't Have to Dance" by Andy Black, "Kill the Lights" by Set it Off, "Heartbreak Feels so Good" by Fall Out Boy 🎥The Owl House, Breath of the Wild, Avengers 📕CLOCKWORK BOYS, THE FAULT IN OUR STARS 📝Robin McKinley

✨Beauty and the Dragon Vibes✨ 🎶"What if it Doesn't End Well" by Chloe Moriondo, "I Need a Hero" (Shrek 2 version), "If I Ever Leave This World Alive" by Flogging Molly, "Love from the Other Side" by Fall Out Boy 🎬Shrek, Beauty and the Beast, Gargoyles 📙BEAUTY, DEALING WITH DRAGONS ✍🏻Patricia C Wrede