#meth house

[kylejsugarman]

it always blows my mind when people are shocked by or even disbelieving of the fact that "breaking bad" is like a genuinely funny show with actual jokes and absurd situations. do they really think the most critically-acclaimed, popular show of all time got that way because its fucking miserable and dour and gritty The Whole Time

[coachbeards]

now I get that Cameron was always an ethics centric character, which defined her interactions with patients and other doctors but. maybe I think s3-4 Cameron would’ve been ok with chase murdering a dictator

[egonkula]

my wettest cat

[lumities]

blight industries rainbow capitalism

[housecow]

even if it is hereditary, so long as you don't force that sort of lifestyle on your potential kids it shouldn't concern you that much

it’s more like. i know what it was like growing up and i don’t wish that on anyone else. for a long time i was controlled by urges i didn’t understand, it was a form of torture almost.

i mean this in that food literally controlled my life—my choices, relationships, almost everything revolved around food. a part of it was definitely adhd but god it fucking sucked. so many of my memories ages 4-15 specifically have to do with an ache that’s hard to define but like. as a teen i was an impulsive liar that manipulated people in order to procure food 😭

my parents checked my backpack every day just to find countless wrappers, i can’t count how many times i was grounded bc of this. it actually made matters so much worse. what is a child unable to see friends or do ANYTHING going to do when they’re desperately in need of dopamine? lmfao

on the other hand… if we weren’t poor (parents constantly gone/working) and i was able to actually do things i enjoyed (ex: hiking, swimming, going to a friends place, being outside without 100+ degree temps) it would’ve been a totally different story. i want kids but i don’t want someone to grow up like i did, you know? as a child you just need and you can’t explain it

[garthnadermemestash]

Ricky L Pinzon stay salty

[pizzaboat]

Darius: Have you never been to therapy?

Eda: No, I don't need it

Darius: Not even after the time your spouse pulled off your arm?

Eda: Nope!

Darius: What about the time when you were forced to transform in front of the entire school?

Eda: Oh, that was crazy. I forgot about that

Darius: Or when you were falsely accused of treason and went to public execution?!

Eda: Was that a big deal?

Darius: You became a criminal and tried meth!

Eda: Well, I didn't wanna be anyones bitch...

Eda: Look, it sounds like these things affected you more than they affected me... maybe you should go to therapy!

[averagesawfan]

surprised we've moved past the "house tries to kill himself" this season so fast

[thelegsofsharks]

also on the topic of kcfhs, i’m so glad that they showed the alcoholism that is in almost EVERY sitcom as well

[carealexis]

Fun to be with

[eliotquillon]

drabble request: re: time loop story: what convoluted or not reasoning led cameron to calling chase specifically for a hook up (and not going to a bar. or shooting her shot with foreman lol)

disclaimer: i have not done meth (shocking!) and therefore this is probably an inaccurate description of what being on meth is like. but you know.

The drugs kick in fast; it supports that lab’s analysis that Kalvin is the rare meth user who actually has pure product, because one minute Cameron is sitting placidly on her bed waiting for something to kick in and trying not to think about how fucking irresponsible this whole thing is, and the next her heart is racing, fingertips tingling as her thoughts race a mile a minute. It’s weird. Weird-fun, she decides, bouncing up on her tiptoes with a smile that makes her jaw ache—things feel fast and hectic and for the first time in over a day it’s like the outside world is finally reflecting what it feels like to be in her head. “Drugs are bad,” she tells her reflection sternly, but the woman in the mirror is laughing and frantic, her pupils blown wide, and Cameron is pleased. Bad, bad decision, she thinks, wagging a finger at the mirror. Bad dog. She laughs again, and it’s a full-body movement. This is what it must feel like to be Kalvin all the time. No regrets. No future. Just present-present-present and fun-fun-fun.

She should go out, she decides. Hasn’t it been forever since she went to a bar on her own? Since she went out for a drink without having to listen to Foreman whine about House and Chase try to flirt with the bartender? The corner of her mouth pulls down into an exaggerated frown. Boring. She should go out, and wear something short, and curl her hair—or straighten it, or maybe bleach? There’s blonde dye in her bathroom cabinet, a failsafe from when she first started dyeing her hair brown and wasn’t sure if she’d like it; Cameron likes to have a back-up plan. Not tonight, though. Tonight, she’s going to go out and have fun and she isn’t going to think about anything else. She sets her curling iron out on the sink, and leaves it to heat up while she hunts for clothes.

Her wardrobe is sad. “Bad dog,” she tells it, when one-two-three straight minutes of rifling through its contents yield nothing short and nothing exciting. Maybe she’ll just go out in her pyjamas, and buy something on the way. Department stores are open til this time of night, right? She never really shops for herself these days. Everything she owns is professional and strait-laced and dull. Cameron is professional and strait-laced and dull. No wonder Foreman hates being around her so much. Buzzkill. This Cameron hates being around that Cameron, too.

She goes back to the bathroom to start curling her hair, but she burns her neck with the curling wand on the second strand. The pain is white-hot and sour, cutting right through all the fun-buzzy-bubbly feelings but not in a bad way. The mark on her neck looks a bit like a hickey. Cameron has never had a hickey before; she always thought they were gauche and embarrassing, would always pulls boys away from her neck very pointedly when she thought they were getting too bold about things in high school. But tonight is meant to be fun. Tonight is meant to be full of new experiences, and feelings. She wants a hickey. The thought fills her with more bubbly-fun excitement, no fear or mortification, and she scrambles to put on music while she hunts through her cell phone.

Cameron sorts through her contacts alphabetically—not that there’s many; she doesn’t really talk to anyone from college or med school anymore—and selects the first man’s name she finds: R CHASE.

She hits dial.

[all-pacas]

Something I find fascinating about Both Sides Now, is that Cameron ends up talking to both House and Chase about the sperm thing, and what they tell her is strikingly different.

House is pretty blunt. He tells her she needs to get rid of the sperm, that it's the only way to save the relationship. She compares keeping the sperm to having fire insurance, and he asks her if she'd rather be homeless than risk a fire at all: get over yourself, basically. Suck it up, marry Chase, do what Chase wants. She tells House that she has doubts, that it's normal.

But Chase, meanwhile! Cameron tells him she's going to destroy the sperm, and at first he's pleased, but not long after he asks her if it's what she really wants. He appeals directly to her emotions, talking about their future together as a framework for I know you don't want to do this, and then tells her not to. That she doesn't have doubts, that the sperm is an emotional issue (it's a reminder of her Dead Husband) and not actually a practical one.

House tells her what she needs to do (and turns out to be wrong); Chase tells her what she wants, and that she should do what she wants. House's advice is to destroy the sperm to keep Chase happy, and Chase's advice is to keep it because it's what Cameron wants. And throw in a line of Cameron's where she says Chase is too idealistic and a Romantic… it's just a kind of fascinating contrast.

Cameron keeps trying to treat her relationship with Chase as purely pragmatic, from the start, very much despite her actions. They're just friends with benefits (they spend the entire time together from day one). Engagement scares her, so she justifies ghosting him with "maybe he doesn't mean it." He's uncomfortable about the sperm, so she treats it like a break up and talks about how the rational thing to do is never speak to him again and/or move across the country. She keeps going to House to validate this, because of course she does, but he keeps out-rationalizing her: you don't break up with someone just because maybe he'll dump you someday.

And meanwhile, just as consistently, Chase is presented as the emotional figure. He tells her in S3 she has feelings for him (and the narrative does treat him as correct), based on her actions and basic personality. He tells her not to destroy the sperm. He… lets her be an emotional mess, in a weird sort of way: Cameron can appeal to cold rationality all she wants, and I do think she wants it very much, but she's really not. House's advice tends to push her towards pragmatic binaries; Chase tells her to do what she wants. And Cameron hardly ever does what she wants without a fight.

[rubberduckyrye]

I was reminded of Despair!Mascot Kokichi and now I dub thee, "MascotV3rse!Kokichi" :D

[2sgf]

ughhh im so glad our landlord is so gracious. my first landlord was awful and gave me shit all the time bc welfare kept sending my money late in the month and they fucking evicted me over it. it was fucking awful. but fortunately this guy is real patient. i guess it's also thanks to be the only consistent tenants in this money-sucking building over the last year

[nostalgic-shamefest]

girl.. get help

[zealousmusicland]