#mervall brill

[artemisfowlcodex]

(Opal Koboi and her henchmen are flying a shuttle full of loot through the skies, pursued by Holly and her team) Mervall Brill: They're gaining on us, ma'am! Descant Brill, looking at the loot: We'll have to jettison something... Opal: (Glares at them) Mervall: ...It's been an honour to serve you, ma'am. (Mervall and Descant eject)

[shortace]

Opal Koboi is supposed to be a genius, but she's no judge of character. Mervall and Descant Brill are "two of her most trusted personnel".

[jhonny]

the graphic novels are... something.

[golden--spark]

Artemis Fowl The Opal Deception: The Graphic Novel, page 3

Highlight from AF TOD GN n°1

[neveroutoftime]

So in the past few months, I've gotten my 11 year old brother to start reading Artemis Fowl. Now, he's on book 5 and he loves the series. Obviously I'm thrilled. I knew he'd enjoy the series just as much as I do. Last night he came up to me with a couple of Lego characters and was like "Look! I made Artemis and Butler!" So the next hour or so was spent with the two of us trying to make the other characters the best we could with what we had.

Today, we made more characters and started building, roughly, a version of Police Plaza. We've got Commander Root in his office, being grumpy as usual, and Foaly doing tech stuff in the Ops Booth. Artemis, meanwhile is sitting on a pile of gold with Butler and Holly and Trouble are trying to get him down. If you look in the window of Root's office, Opal Koboi is trying to sneak in.

Needless to say, we're having a blast. All we really need is an actual Artemis Fowl Lego set. Seriously. It'd be amazing. 😄

[weeinterpreter]

Okay, Blue here- forgive me because I know this isn’t angst or anything, but because I am a comedy lover- this AU where Artemis joins a league of Evil Villains... perhaps a bit of a light-hearted spin on it and some shenanigans? Idk I just feel like the villains are Not Ready to handle the likes of Artemis Fowl. (Your writing is absolutely spectacular, btw- the FEELS. How dare you break my heart like that... even if I love it so.)

Hi Blue! Thank you so much for your message and the lovely praise. It really means a lot to me. 😊

Now to your request: Butler alive AND I get to write happy, funny, goofy League of Evil Villains?! Hell yeah! I love comedy! Let’s get this party started!

The conference room was filled with the most dangerous criminals in the world, happily chatting away with each other. This was the last place Butler wanted to be in. But Artemis had received a personal invitation from the President of the Evil Association of Evil Villains, and the boy had been adamant on going, making Butler's life – as usual – extremely stressful. He stared across the room at Jon Spiro's bodyguard, who sneered right back.

Before the two men could exchange hostilities, though, another man entered the room, and the conversations died away. Butler turned to him as he stopped at the one empty seat at the round table. He looked more like a retired teacher than a criminal with his grey hair and bushy beard, but Butler had been in the business long enough to know better.

The President, the evilest of the evil villains, beamed at his fellow evil villains.

"Most respected Evildoers," he said, rolling the words like a true Irishman. "Thank you all for coming to the monthly roundtable of the Evil Association of Evil Villains. The first part of the agenda today is to welcome our newest and youngest member. I won't say too much as some of you have already made his acquaintance, but I am quite pleased that he is a fellow countryman of mine. It's the Irish businessman, Artemis Fowl II."

The members knocked on the table as Artemis gave everyone a cordial nod.

"A kind reminder, everybody,"–the President gave every single person a stern look– "associates aren't allowed to kill, maim, bludgeon, poison or otherwise threaten other associates or their henchmen. Okay, let's continue with the monthly high score of Evilness. Last month has been truly quite successful, and I am pleased about your commitment. You have achieved a new record of the most almost committed crimes of the last 20 years. I think that deserves some applause!"

The criminals around the table whooped, giving each other high-fives.

"You all did amazing, but I am sure you want to know who got to the top in July, huh?"

Cheers throughout the room. Butler had to fight hard not to roll his eyes at how everybody sat up straighter, eager to hear who would be the Evildoer of the Month. 

"In a very respectable third place is Opal Koboi, with her attempt at making Castle Rock, a dead volcano, erupt once more. She almost caused fear and consternation among the people of Edinburgh. Very well done!"

Opal Koboi blushed, waving her hands at her fellow villains as she received applause, while her henchmen Mervall and Descant Brill shifted in their seats, hastily reaching for the water glasses, and gulped down the water. Butler frowned, studying the other henchmen. He caught Arno Blunt giving the pixie brothers a discreet thumbs-up.

"Next, Jon Spiro, with his truly devious invention of a 5G Brainwashing Chip. I realise there were some start up difficulties. Instead of brainwashing the victims, you gave them a really good internet connection."

The room let out a collective gasp. Jon Spiro shook his head in shame, lifting his hands in an apology. Ark Sool patted him on the shoulder, whispering some encouraging words.

"But the thought counts. You were really close, Jon, keep up the good work!"

Meanwhile, Butler watched Arno Blunt wipe away a drop of sweat that had run down his forehead before clapping with the rest of the room, hooting and chanting for his employer.  

"Which brings us to our winner for July, which is our youngest, but surely most promising, member. Artemis, you almost poisoned the entire country of Ireland! Well done!"

The criminals around the table murmured among themselves, while Artemis made a face. 

"I was convinced it would work, too. I don't know why it didn't."

Butler clasped his hands behind his back, trying hard to look innocent and not to gloat. His attempt at exchanging the poison-filled capsules with some harmless vitamin pills hadn't been easy. It had almost cost him two fingers, but thanks to Madame Ko's additional seminar "Your Principal is a Villain? 101 Ways to Thwart Their Plans" he had succeeded.

He caught the eyes of a goblin, who picked his nose in a way that Butler could only describe as congratulating. 

The President lifted his hands. "You all did very well this month. Until next month. Be bad, do evil and have fun!"

The villains clapped loudly, while the henchmen, including Butler, let out a collective sigh. 

[intelligent-space-gay]

rereading Artemis fowl and noticing some uhhh issues

1. trolls have dreadlocks. every single one of them. do the maths on that

2. ‘pixies with their large brains and massive intelligence’ - brain size ≠ intelligence but has been used in the past as such

3. this excerpt which gives me bad vibes in terms of autism stereotypes + people only viewing autistic people as children

Image description:

A page of a book that reads;

The two janitor pixies, Mervall and Descant Brill, we’re outside Opal’s room, picking up dust with static brushes. Pixies made wonderful employees. They were methodical, patient and determined. When a pixie was instructed to do something, you could rest assured that thing would be done. Plus, they were cute, with their baby faces and disproportionately large beads. Just looking at a pixie cheered most people up. They were walking therapy

End description

[incorrectafquotes]

Your spineless, sniveling attitude leads me to believe you'd serve me well.

Opal Koboi, to Mervall and Descant Brill

[gatersgonewild]

Opal: Ugh! Stupid Artemis, he thinks he's so smart!

Mervall: He looks stronger than you too.

[fowlroleplay-blog-blog]

Mervall and Descant Brill are available.

[artemisfowlcodex]

(Opal has got Artemis and Holly tied up and suspended over a pit)

Opal: Now that you're all smuggling the hot oil, I think it's time we take care of some business.

Mervall: Uh, the phrase is 'hanging around'.

Opal: What did I say?

Descant: 'Smuggling the hot oil'.

Opal, rounding on them: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!

[artemisfowlcodex]

(Briar Cudgeon has to meet with the Brill brothers for Opal)

Cudgeon: Great, she sent the kids again. This is turning out just like the divorce...

Mervall: Ugh, please spare us the thought of you procreating.

[artemisfowlcodex]

Mervall: Ma'am, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power...

Opal: Of course I have. Have you tried going mad *without* power? It's boring, nobody listens to you.

[shortace]

Descant Brill and the Bank Break-in

Fairies do not like the cold. Descant Brill shivered, and cursed himself for volunteering for this task. Although if he hadn’t, Opal Koboi would simply have ordered him to anyway. Or killed him. He wondered briefly if sheer terror was a sufficient substitute for the loyalty Opal demanded of him and his brother Merval. He decided it was.

On a winter night in Munich the temperature can get as low as -3 degrees centigrade. He supposed he was lucky that it was only just on zero tonight. There was a light coating of snow on the ground, which meant that he couldn’t walk - on the off chance anybody was around, footprints left by a shielded fairy would raise questions Scant would rather not have to answer. Fortunately Opal had thought to stock a secret warehouse with all manner of equipment prior to entering her cleansing coma, so tonight Scant was equipped with whisper-silent wings and a near-invisible cam-foil suit. There was no way any human would see him tonight, no matter what surveillance and security they had in place. Opal Koboi and her employees laughed in the face of bank security.

Of course, this wasn’t just any bank. This was the International Bank, renowned for having the most secure safety deposit boxes in the world. By human standards, anyway. Scant admitted to himself - and only himself - that he was a little bit apprehensive. Not scared. Just apprehensive. He glanced around nervously, half-believing that Opal could feel his tension, despite the miles of rock between them.

‘It’s a piece of cake,’ he tried to tell himself, muttering aloud. A nearby cat puffed itself up, on the defensive, at hearing the unexpected voice out of nowhere. ‘Human security. Nothing to worry about.’ The cat twitched its ears, then turned tail and ran.

He finally reached the front door of the International Bank, and hovered, shivering, for a moment to see what he was up against. A night guard sat on duty behind a desk, although his eyelids drooped with fatigue. Scant had to squint to make sure the huge keyring, including the safety deposit box master key, was on his belt. This had been a key part of the plan, and if he didn’t have the key, he would have to resort to Plan B, which he did not relish. It involved tunnel blue spiders, which turned Scant’s stomach even when it was somebody else who swallowed them.

However, as it was, the key was visible, and the tunnel blue could stay safely shut away. Glancing around to be sure nobody was watching, he briefly unshielded to use an omnitool on the locks. Of course, the guard saw him at that point, and was immediately awake and alert, striding towards the glass door with a hand on his gun.

‘Stop!’ he shouted, loud enough to be heard through the door.

Scant mimed deafness: one hand to his hear, mouthing exaggeratedly, ‘I can’t hear you.’ The omnitool beeped and the door slid silently open. Immediately Scant dropped the deaf act and looked directly into the guard’s eyes. He wore no sunglasses - being the middle of the night - and as he took a breath to shout another instruction, Scant Brill spoke, voice layered with magical mesmer: ‘You don’t need the gun,’ he crooned, ‘I’m a friend. We’re buddies. Pals. We go way back.’

The guard hesitated. ‘I don’t need the gun,’ he confirmed, ‘because we’re friends. But I still can’t let you in.’

Scant sighed, feining disappointment. ‘You can let me in,’ he said, ‘and then you can forget all about me.’

‘I can let you in,’ said the guard, apparently changing his mind. ‘And then I can forget… what am I supposed to forget?’

Scant grinned. ‘Perfect.’ He plucked the keyring from the guard’s belt, and watched as the guard blinked a few times and then went back to his post, completely ignoring the pixie standing right in the middle of the foyer.

Descant pressed the transmit button on the communicator on his throat, connecting him to Opal Koboi and his brother Merval. ‘I’m in,’ he said. ‘The guard is ignoring me, and I’ve got the key.’

‘Good,’ Opal replied. ‘Now plug in the flash drive.’

Scant tried to remember the diagrams and lessons on human computers the boss had made him examine. A USB port would be somewhere on the side of the guard’s laptop, he thought. He tried a couple of different holes, then remembered to turn the flash drive up the other way. Finally it slotted in and Opal’s program popped up on the screen. Run program, he clicked. Under his breath he sang three verses of the old Riverbend classic, Between You and a Dwarf, I’d Choose a Stinkworm Every Time, to give the virus time to infiltrate the security system. As he murmured the closing line, every creature has its purpose, and yours is to make stinkworms look good, the computer beeped and the monitors above blinked. On-screen, Scant was nowhere to be seen. The video was showing a loop recorded earlier in the night - same sleepy guard, same light snow, same everything - but no Descant Brill. Furthermore, every clock on every computer and monitor was now showing 10.34am. Business hours. The safety deposit boxes couldn’t be accessed by anybody outside of business hours. Now, they’d open like a flower. A very utilitarian flower, full of cash and stolen paintings.

One stolen painting in particular.

Once in the safety deposit box room, Scant hesitated, and swore: ‘D’arvit.’ He’d forgotten to check the computer to find out which box was Sparrow and Crane’s. Human computers confused him, with their strange letters inscribed on oddly-ordered buttons, and a mouse that didn’t even squeak. He’d been so relieved to get the flash drive in and the virus working correctly that he’d forgotten the other computer-related task.

Not to worry. He’d just open all of them. There was an emergency override button next to the master key hole for just that purpose.

He inserted the key, turned it, and smacked the button.

Immediately the small room was filled with the sounds of alarms and klaxons, as the individual security from each box’s owner was activated. Scant nearly screamed at the sudden cacophony.

‘What did you do?’ Opal shrieked into the communicator. ‘What is that? Descant Brill, what did you do?’

Scant stammered for a moment before recovering himself. ‘Not to worry, Miss Koboi,’ he said, despite being, in fact, very worried.

Three blocks from the bank, a light was flashing in a police station. The unfortunate constable on watch duty didn’t see it immediately, as she was reading a particularly good Artemis Fowl book. Reading was technically prohibited on the job, but who’d know? The only other person on duty was the guy in the canteen who made fantastic chips and horrific coffee.

‘Shut it off!’ Opal commanded, forgetting for the moment that Scant had no idea how to do so. Circuits had been broken by the opening safety deposit boxes; simply closing them again would not re-wire each alarm. However they were, gradually, one by one, going silent. None of them had been intended to last long; the aim was to cause terror in would-be thieves and attract attention from negligent bank guards.

‘It’s about twenty different alarms,’ Scant told her. ‘I think it’s just to scare thieves. I don’t think it does anything.’

‘I don’t pay you to think!’ Opal screeched.

Scant forebore to point out that he’d specifically said that he didn’t think. ‘No, Miss Koboi. Anyway, I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. I’ll just boobytrap the painting, these will all shut off soon, and I’ll be gone.’

Unbeknownst to Opal and the Brills, one of the boxes had been wired to do more than just make noise. It was this which had set the light flashing at the police station.

Hands shaking slightly, and distracted by the noise, Scant finally located Herve’s painting in its tube, and carefully injected the bio-bomb’s tracking device in through the rubber seal. It was virtually microscopic, and left no visible external trace. ‘All done, Miss Koboi,’ he reported. ‘I’m out of here.’ He slammed the boxes closed hurriedly, just as the last klaxon went silent.

At the police station, the light still flashed. Finally, the officer glanced up from her book and saw it. She frowned slightly, and tapped it. It still flashed. International Bank patrons were notorious for being paranoid, and false alarms were fairly frequent, but still, better follow procedure. She grabbed her radio and asked a nearby unit to do a drive-by.

Descant Brill was already out the front door, shielded and flying, by the time it arrived. All they would find was a dopey guard and nothing whatsoever missing from the bank. Just another false alarm from another paranoid billionaire. Scant heaved a sigh of relief, and headed back for the chutes.

[artemisfowlcodex]

Interrogating Opal's henchmen...

Mervall Brill: I ain't talking

Holly, sharpening a knife: We've got ways of making people talk...

*She cuts a piece of cake*

Descant Brill: ...Can I have some?

Holly: Cake is for talkers.

[artemisfowlcodex]

Koboi defeated once again...

Announcer: And the prize for advances in both medical tech and the general science community goes toooo…

Opal: *crosses fingers*

Announcer: Foaly! For his advances in nanotechnology and materials manufacturing!

*Applause*

Opal: …

Mervall: Ah, don’t sweat it, ma'am, its just some lousy awar-

Opal: PUMP THE NERVE GAAAS!