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Butler's Wisdom Wednesday

💡 Tip 10: A locked door is a suggestion, not a rule.

#survivalskillsforcivillians #academylife #bodyguardcore

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magical girl transformation except it's just me getting into my pajamas and taking out my computer to write

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Dealing with it.

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Mulch: Life is like Holly. It's short.

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What's your happy headcanon for Root? 😊

a silly happy headcanon (or is it just an observation? idek atp) I have is that he's like a dad to half the lep. (or like *his* officers. you get it)

papa duck root and his ducklings!!!!

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r/UnknownDiscoveries ● Posted by u/Fowl_II

Seeking Information on a Clandestine Race — Financial Incentive for Credible Leads

Irish businessman willing to pay a large sum in US dollars to meet a fairy, sprite, leprechaun, or pixie. Serious inquiries only. Jokes and misinformation will be ignored.

u/skeptic42:

lol you fell off the deep end, buddy. Did you eat some bad mushrooms or something?

u/soulburn:

I married a leprechaun in 1999 🍀💕 now we split the rent and sometimes it leaves gold coins under my mattress 😂💀

u/gnomish_chronicler:

Your inquiry isn’t unfounded. There are traces, if you know where to look. Start with the forests near Hill of Tara in Ireland. Watch your back. The hidden do not appreciate tourists.

↻ tinfoil_tom answered gnomish_chronicler: 😂🤣 Guys, gnomish_chronicler is a literal gnome!! 🍄🍕 Don’t trust him, he’s gatekeeping the fairy knowledge!!

u/caveman_pizza:

just buy a metal detector and start digging under rainbows. let me know how much gold you find.

u/clandestine_librarian:

Some knowledge is meant for those who pursue it in earnest. Your quest will come at a price. Not financial, but a price nonetheless. Consider whether you’re ready to pay it.

u/alien_poptarts

bruh i traded my socks to a brownie once and it cleaned my whole basement 🧦✨ true story, 100% not a joke

↻ u/Fowl_II answered u/alien_poptarts: Jokes are a waste of everyone's time. If you have something of actual value, direct message me.

↻ u/funf1e answered u/Fowl_II: I’m a fairy, AMA 😂✨

u/screeching_banshee:

🔥🔥 the fair folk control the banks and the media 🔥🔥open ur 3rd 👁 or stay blind 😵💀

u/tinfoil_tom:

I KNEW IT!! The Fae are real. Guys, I’ve been seeing strange lights in my back garden for years. DM me, @Fowl_II. I might have something you need.

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love when fictional men are so devoted to their partner it makes them dangerous and insane. very slutty behavior keep it up king

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RANDOMOSITY

[x]

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Me, teaching English: "The woman buys vegetables." How would you turn this sentence into passive?

Boy, thinks long and hard: She is bought by the vegetables.

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LEPRECON: TROUBLE KELP

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LEPRECON: JULIUS ROOT

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LEPRECON

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Butler's Wisdom Wednesday

💡 Tip 9: Politeness opens more doors than a lockpick. But keep both handy.

#survivalskillsforcivillians #academylife #bodyguardcore

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i actually do understand that character better than the writers. this happens a lot actually

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Me hearing about "turkey teeth" for the first time and I'm like.... turkeys don't have teeth???

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One week off and just in time for the next part to be released. Who doesn't like a peacock? But also look at the wee peachick???

Design by the talented Lola Crow.

Progress:

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9]

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#af#Orion was introduced as Artemis' longlost more likable twin for season 5 but no one really liked him#Sool was also introduced but everyone hated him so much they had to kill him off screen by simply dropping a piano on him#(it was heavily implied this was orchestrated by Artemis#Butler#Foaly#and Trouble)#No.1 got his own spin off that had two seasons and a satisfying ending that tied up any loose ends for the original series <- prev tags by @valhelos

Nobody liked Sool, BUT I loved how for five episodes they did that scene at the end, showing a different character killing Sool in a different way. I thought that was very clever. Remember how tumblr exploded with theories who had done it? Kind of saved the series at that point. I still think it was Mulch after the pizza episode, ngl.

Hear me out: Artemis Fowl but as a 90s sitcom.  

A happy, upbeat meoldy, synth keyboards and lyrics about friendship and crime-y stuff. More crime-y stuff. Everyone gets a dramatic look at the camera moment with their names fading in. Iconic freeze frames with that zoom-in, smile at the camera moment.

Artemis walks through a hallway of explosions. He’s totally unfazed. He stops to adjust his cufflink, then smirks directly at the camera.

Butler kicks down a heavy door, a tray of muffins in one hand. He nods solemnly.

Juliet punches a baddie in the face, he falls out of the frame. She tosses her hair and gives a cool, slightly exaggerated wink.

Holly jumps out of a shuttle, landing like a superhero. She turns to the camera and gives a dry shrug, before breaking into a laugh.

Trouble dives over a desk to catch a donut mid-air. He lets out a sigh, before spotting the camera and flashing a cool grin. All poster boy vibes.

Foaly is surrounded by a wall of computer screens. He types furiously, then he spins in his swivel chair to the camera and smiles smugly.  

Mulch bursts through the floor in the middle of a fancy dinner party. Everyone screams. He waves.

Commander Root is yelling. He throws a folder on the desk, sees the camera and gives a sour smile.

Final shot before the show's title pops up: Everyone’s crammed in a shuttle, trying to see something outside the window.

The last few notes of the intro play, then a quick shot of Opal Koboi, laughing like a maniac. Behind her a sparkly whiteboard and "world domination" in capital letters. The screen fades out.