#merlin is the king of sass

[enginespark]

Hot take but I think Merlin should’ve been appointed the Royal court jester instead of Arthur’s servant

[toasterghostie]

Them <3

[bookie-bookdust]

Stupid things Ominis Gaunt would do to get you to talk to him after a fight

I'm back again for another round of shitty headcanons. This time with the Heir of Slytherin, the king of sass. This is what fancy pants would do to get you to speak to him again.

He doesn't do anything. That's it. That's the post. He gives you the cold shoulder because Merlin's beard, if he isn't right, then no one is.

Sits beside you and stiffly brings up the weather. Attempts a few more rounds of small talk before he storms off.

Gives you tea or food and sits with you in silence. When you don't take his offering, he begins nervously eating it instead.

Bribes you.

Yells at you (we all know how much he loves to scold).

Sighs every three minutes exactly while in your presence.

Perfectly arranges for you to get stuck beside him on the train or in a class assignment or a work project so you're forced to speak to him.

Sends a cute little cat to your side with an apology note attached to its collar (Ominis is friends with all cats everywhere he goes. You can't convince me otherwise).

Every time you turn around he's literally just there with his arms crossed frowning.

Rescues you from "dangerous" situations even if it's burning your finger on something hot. This turns into a three hour lecture on safety and awareness of your surroundings.

If he's really desperate, he'll send Sebastian in for assistance. It doesn't end well.

Comes bearing the latest gossip and hopes you forget that you're mad at him.

Conveniently needs assistance with something he very well can do on his own like walking, reading, fixing his tie, etc.

DID YOU JUST COME FROM THE UNDERCROFT???? -- woops sorry wrong chat.

Enlists some random first year Slytherins trying to suck up to him into delivering him updates on your whereabouts, exchanging notes or gifts to you, etc.

Writes a heartfelt apology but has no idea the ink was dried out so it's literally just a blank letter.

Sends your ass to Azkaban lolololol

Enacts revenge on Hobhouse in your honor. You don't really get what it has to do with you, but you'll let him have it.

Attempts your interests to get your attention (Crossed Wands - sets his nicest vest on fire; Quidditch - black eye, but what did you expect - he's BLIND; after-hour clandestine Alohomora use - this is just theft???? He gives up).

[delis-4-meats]

I've just had the realization...

...that I- *sobs*- I only hyper fixate on doomed from the start ships and I'm kinda pissed about it, so I'm making it everyone's problem.

OKAAAY HERE WE GO!

Merlin and Arthur:

(There are 5 seasons of romantic/sexual(?) tension I need to cover and not enough time so imma just throw shit out there)

Merlin (a sorcerer/wizard/god/Hiccup Haddock) accidentally gets the job of being Prince Arthur of Camelot's manservant... Bro really didn't want the job. At this time in Camelot, sorcery is illegal but what most don't know is that some are born with magic abilities, so they are convicting and executing innocent people. Soooo yeah, living in the same place as a bunch of anti-witch people and being someone who practices/was born with magic abilities, not good. Eventually Arthur and Merlin became inseparable, Merlin throughout the years has been saving Arthur's life without him knowing and trying to change Arthur's opinion on sorcery without outing himself. In the end Arthur dies (In Merlin's arms btw after he proposed to Merlin) and Merlin is doomed to wander the Earth for all of eternity (Because pookie is basically the wizard god and refuses to die until he sees Arthur again) waiting for Arthur to come back. (SOBS MY EYELIDS OFF)

Megatron and Optimus:

(This is just for TFO, I'm not going to get into the burning shit hole that is TFP, IDW, G-1, and every other wonderful universe's Optimus and Megatron relationship)

Besties/Lovers, inseparable, the ideal relationship in a hard, down on your luck life... Then they realized they were slaves and had two ways of going about taking out their terrible tyrant of a leader (Fucking hate Sentinel). Megs going straight to murder and possibly torture in front of all of Icon (Exposing Sentinel in such a harsh, violent way that would've gone against his moral compass in the beginning of the movie). OP though, has a different approach to expose him to the rest of the world (Sure, is taking someone's head and racking their brain for memories kinda violent, yeah. Does it probably hurtless/is less harmful for big space robots then it is for humans, most likely. It was still a little unsettling for me though) and, unlike Megs, wants to imprison him. Megs got lost in his rage and vengeance (Sasuke core) that made him do a whole lot of things he CAN'T take back, even if he wanted to (He doesn't want to. He's so convinced that he knows what he's doing is morally correct and will fix all his pain). OP was hurt badly emotionally at least (My boi has a whooole lot of trauma) and was actually KILLED by Megs, he has a whole WORLD literally forced onto his shoulders with his new position of a Prime and he (A former mining slave with no education) NEEDS to take care of the whole damn thing. On top of that OP was thrown into war with the Quintessons while probably having to deal with terf battles with the Deceptions, controlling potential riots, politics (ew), and supporting a probably failing economy. ("Thanks Primus," said no one ever. Hi, I'm no one.)

Thorin and Bilbo:

(I'm talking about the movies, yes I read the book, but shut up because I like the movies and idc what you say)

Strangers to friends to lovers in little more than a year. Thorin was guarded, stoical, rude, and harsh with Bilbo in the beginning because he thought that Bilbo was too pompous and fragile to help in their treacherous journey. And Bilbo (being the pompous lil boi he is) is scared out of his head, full of wonder of the world outside the Shire (enough sass to fill the Earth like the great flood in da Bible), and was basically forced on said treacherous journey, has feelings for Thorin but they are purely physical and fade quickly because of how rude Thorin is to him (very ungentlemanly for a king if you ask him). But over time Bilbo proves that he's more than his best suit and by the heavens, Thorin. Is. Down. BAD. He can defend himself to a certain extent, hot. He can use his wit to get out of almost any situation, hot. He will give up his word and sacrifice his honor on Thorin's name and honesty, hot as fuck man. They basically have a WHOLE MOVIE with them subtly loving on each other... BUT THEN THORIN GETS THE DRAGON SICKNESS!! He goes crazy over cursed dragon gold, throws out Bilbo, and starts a war. Then after like half the movie, he faces the danger and says 'NO MORE!' to the gold, rallies his troops, wins the war, AND BLEEDS OUT AND DIES!! IN BILBO'S ARMS!! Leaving POOR SWEET BILBO to go home, alone, depressed, and CURSED!! Bilbo comes home and everyone thinks he was dead so they're selling (Stealing) his belongings, his name and reputation is dragged through the mud because he went on an AdVeNtUrE, and he's single for the REST OF HIS LIFE!! (They ruin me... Cries around my suspiciously bagginshield shaped fics & fanart)

Ok, I'm done... For now.

Gonna be honest, doing this made me think of more ships Bdko (iykyk), SkyStar, and Hijack (In a lot of fics that I read anyway) are a few of them.

Might do this again it was a good vent, besides no one's gonna see this anyway.

[m0ssxz0mbie]

I've had the realisation that Jayvik and Merthur are Literally The Same Ship. Just in different fonts.

THE PARALLELS!! THE SIMILARITIES!! I KNEW when i was reading Jayvik fanfics that something was familiar. i'm like a crazy conspiracy theorist.

Minor disclaimer, tho Merlin is one of my favourite shows, I have not watched it in a while. I also binged Arcane a month ago, but those who know me irl (if ur reading this, hello bbygurl), know that the way I watch shows and movies is cursed. SO-- if things do not seem to be the most accurate to canon, fanfic is MY canon. also,, SPOILERS AHEAD FOR MERLIN BBC AND ARCANE.

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ARTHUR // JAYCE

- Both come from the upper class of the society within said media. Arthur is the literal prince (later king), and Jayce is sponsored by a well-standing family (and later becomes the founder of Hextech + a councillor)

- Wants to improve the lives of all people regardless of status, class, or ability. Arthur, tho wary of magic, wanted to protect druids, which he acknowledged were peaceful and not corrupt. Everyone portrays him to also care for peasants and people with lesser status when he is king. You really see this in canon with Merlin, Gwen, Knights of The Round Table, etc. Jayce wants to use Hextech to improve the lives of those in Piltover and Zaun via the use of magic.

- Experiences expectations of others within society which make them do bad things. When Arthur is the prince, you see many instances where he wants to do the reasonable, morally correct thing (for the situation in this POV), and he cannot because of Uther's demands and expectations for him. Jayce has expectations placed upon him by the council to use Hextech for their own gain rather than what he and Viktor wanted to use it for.

- HIMBO. What more needs to be said? NONE. BUT I DON'T CARE, I'll say it anyway. Arthur is literally a himbo knight who swings big sword. Jayce is a himbo engineer who swings big hammer. Both rush into danger and never listen when their sassy twink says something has bad vibes (literally any cursed magical place for Merlin, and the Hexcore for Viktor).

- Both are absolutely OBSESSED, WHIPPED and SMITTEN for their twink. Again, this doesn't need explaining, but I will. Arthur, which is established well into the first episodes of Merlin, has scared off every manservant before Merlin. All the servants were probably good at their job. Yet mans keeps Merlin for 10 YEARS. Merlin calls him thick all the time (both in the physical and mental sense) and sasses him ALL the time. Merlin gets away with so much, not only from Arthur but Uther too??? Uther for sure knows Arthur is ATTACHED. In the first year of knowing Merlin, Arthur literally tries to sacrifice his life for Merlin (Merlin does the same). Jayce did originally wanna help improve the lives of people with magic, but I don't think he even thought about the people of Zaun until Viktor mentioned it. Mans instantly agreed and INSTANTLY called it "their Hextech dream" VIKTORS has BEEN HERE FOR FIVE MINUTES. Jayce moves FAST.

- Both date an independent woman while desperately longing for their twink. We love Gwen here, she is the best. Best Queen, the best person, just The Best. Mel is a complicated character, who is badass in the ending, no denying that, just very stinky she manipulated Jayce for her own gain. Both were badass women who I think needed more screen time cause, at times, they were very much pushed to the side. Both Arthur and Jayce are such pathetic simps, longing for their men, and tbh, both Gwen and Mel knew, there was no hiding it. Especially cause in Merlin BBC, most characters have a crush on Merlin at some point in their life while knowing him.

_____________________

MERLIN // VIKTOR

- Both come from the lower class of society, which faces the brutality of those in power. Merlin is a peasant, and does get mistreated because of it, usually from other knights or nobles coming from out of Camelot. HOWEVER, mans main worry is the fact he has magic, literally is magic itself, and lives in a place where it is ILLEGAL. But he also experiences brutality by being Arthur's servant, and someone doing the Knights job better and stopping anyone from killing Arthur. Viktor comes from Zaun, which is the lower class of the society in Arcane, most of its problems are directly caused by the fact they are oppressed. Viktor not only receives discrimination because he is from Zaun but also because he is disabled.

- Both have an older mentor who provides them a home and sanctuary. Merlin has Gaius, his Uncle, the court physician, who lets him become an apprentice, teaches him more magic, and provides a home when he becomes more unsafe. Thinking about it, being in a kingdom where they kill you for having magic is probably better than being enslaved to be in an army and to use your magic as a weapon. Viktor has Heimerdinger, who is his mentor, to which Viktor is his assistant. Viktor gets provided accommodations in Piltover, presumably at the academy they are at, and is able to use his talents, especially when Jayce enters the picture.

- Both are sassy as FUCK. Merlin is the sassiest with Arthur, always teasing him, calling him a cabbagehead or a clotpole, the banter is STRONG with Merthur (i LOVE banter). Viktor is also super sassy as well, especially to those who don't appreciate him, or his and Jayce's work.

- They both would do ANYTHING for the future they have envisioned (with their bfs). Merlin would literally do anything to keep Arthur alive, even listening to THAT BASTARD KILGHARRAH, FUCK THAT DRAGON. Mans contemplated killing a child, you could even say he has betrayed his own kind in many ways. Merlin loses himself to make sure Arthur is safe, he is SO ready to die for him, to be nothing more than a servant forever, just so he could be by his side. Viktor removes free will from people so that he can create the most peaceful world, mans really just wanted a world where he could have Jayce, as it was the conflict between Piltover and Zaun that made they split apart.

- They both are Gods. This kinda ties into the last point. But Merlin IS MAGIC. He is the physical embodiment of magic. His druid name means immortal. The druids treat him as a leader, a god. Viktor becomes Jesus and performs miracles for people to better their lives, he becomes the physical host for the Hexcore.

_____________________

BOTH

- Both ships are doomed yaoi. again, what more do I need to say? Merlin has waited 1,500 years for his man to come back to him, and Jayvik is,, in the astral plane??? dead??? Hence why fanfics exists, both ships need their happy ending, fix-it fanfics.

_____________________

The parallels not only between the characters themselves and how certain people portray their character in fanfics are insane. Especially the way Arthur and Jayce simp for Merlin and Viktor.

NOW, after reading all that, you may have noticed the colour of the names, and yes, BOTH JAYVIK AND MERTHUR ARE A RED/BLUE SHIP. Which solidifies my points even more.

(I have seen Jayvik x Be More Chill fanart, I've seen Jayvik x Star Trek fanart,, has anyone considered jayvik x merlin bbc fanart???? 👀👀👀👀)

[inalandofsadclowns]

Can we take a moment to appreciate how well Gwen and Morgana match each other as king's ward and maiden? They's so on the same wavelength, it's brilliant, actually. Think of Merlin's first interaction with her: she walks up to him, praises him a bit for standing up to Arthur, then right after goes, anyway, "You weren't gonna beat him" "You don't look like one of these big muscley kinda fellows🤨" "I'm sure you're stronger than you look!" "Arthur's one of these rough-tough save-the-world kinda men, and...well...you don't look like that" she just keeps sassing him! All of these gems within less than half a minute!

The best part is she doesn't seem to realize where her private thouhts end and where do they become audible words. Sassing people is natural to her like breathing, and I suppose she gossips with the other maids and castle staff, too, but Morgana had to have a special effect on her. They're such a great match, I have to repeat myself...

[haveyoureadthisfanfic]

Summary: For many long years Merlin waited. For the other part of his soul, for the other half of his life. He was born to serve Arthur. So that meant he was also born to wait. Even if it took a thousand years. Even if the wait seemed never to end. Until one day, suddenly, it did. When Arthur stumbles from the Lake of Avalon 1,500 years after his death, he finds a world unlike the one he knew. Faced with the loss of everyone he loved, and the threat of impending prophecy, Arthur must learn what it means to be not just a king, but the Once and Future King. Merlin does all he can to guide him, even as he struggles to hide his love for his king, and his fear of losing him again. Story includes sass, banter, horseplay, & True Love.

Author: @katherynefromphilly

Submitter: @agayprince

Note from submitter: This is only part one of a series of fanfics where Arthur is resurrected and is reunited with Merlin once again. You don't even need to read the full series, just with part one it feels as if it's the Season 6 Merthur fans long for. It truly fits in so well with what might happen if it had been a continuation of the show, which this fic essentially is. 

[kiwiplaetzchen]

Allan wanders out if the library doors with a pile of books and…. Blood? You’re eyes weren’t deceiving you, he had a smear of blood streaked across his face and a smug look to match. He just flashed a cheeky grin as he walked by and held up a book that was trying to snap at his face, but was bound with rope and twine. It’s cover was scratched and it appeared to be bleeding like an animal. Allan was unphased.

“If you think I look bad, you should see the book!” He grinned.

The castle hallways were unusually quiet as Nosy balanced majestically on the tail of the werewolf statue atop the fountain in the Central Hall, his sharp eyes scanning the ground below for any unattended shiny baubles or loose snacks that might've been left behind by careless students. The Teal King had already had a productive day, tucking away three knuts and what appeared to be a golden cufflink that would definitely fetch admiring looks later. Life was good.

That was until the library doors creaked open and Nosy's gaze snapped up. His little eyes narrowing as Allan strolled out, a wobbling pile of books in his arms. The human was one of the red ones, a Gryffindor, and the Niffler immediately squinted in suspicion. There was something… off.

For starters, there was a smear of blood streaked across the boy's cheek and a smug grin plastered on his face. Nosy tilted his head, curiosity thoroughly piqued. What in Merlin's saggy socks had this human been up to? The books in his arms looked ordinary enough, until one snapped at Allan's face, its jagged edges glinting ominously in the dim light. But Allan merely grinned, unphased by the feral tome that seemed determined to eat him whole.

"If you think I look bad, you should see the book!" the wizard grinned, holding up the bleeding menace like a trophy.

Nosy blinked, his eyes flicking between the wild, snarling book and the smug human. Oh, so this red dork wanted to show off? Before him? Before Nosy? Pff. Nosy puffed out his chest indignantly, just like Niffler Mama Will had taught him (though perhaps with more sass than grace). The little Niffler wasn't having this. The sheer nerve! Did that crimson clod think he was impressive? Please, mate. Nosy had defeated a pumpkin monster with his bare paws and his pea shooter just a few weeks ago! What did this guy have? A book? Pathetic!

With a loud and determined honk, the fluffy rascal leapt down, his teal fur bristling as he muttered squeaky curses under his breath, and landed squarely on the face of a mermaid statue at the base of the fountain in front of Allan.

He pointed an accusatory paw at the bitchy book and started to furiously waggle his little arms. The Niffler's gestures grew more dramatic as he mimed the epic battle of him firing his trusty pea shooter and toppling the fierce pumpkin monster all by himself!

Nosy'’'s message was simple. Everything you can do, I can do better. And if this Gryffindor thought he could outshine the Teal King, he had another thing coming.

[pain-is-too-tired]

More Merlin au thoughts-

Chiron

Took in the Apollo kids after Apollo was forced into hiding due to Kronos.

Hesitated when Kronos requested for him as a Physican/Royal Advisor, but accepted out of fear of Kronos' reaction to an rejection.

Always trying to keep an eye on the kids and make sure they don't expose themselves. Though he sometimes uses his role as an Advisor to his advantage.

Asclepius

Oldest of Apollo's children, went into hiding with his father.

was partly mentored by Chiron before having to run off, but tries to teach out when he can.

ends up separated from Apollo at some point,after a bit returns to the kingdom to get in touch with his siblings. Making sure his wife stays hidden why he's away.

Lee

Second eldest.

intuned with his magic and more experienced though he rarely uses it

Luke's servant, though does not care much for honoraries with him.

Michael

Struggles with light magic, but it's the most skilled in shape shifting and sound magic.

has a tendency to shapeshift a lot. Especially if trying not to be found by the Prince or another noble.

Has a sharp mouth,but quickly learned how to keep it together around King Kronos. However, he still sasses Luke time to time.

Befriend one of the blacksmiths, can be seen helping with burns a lot.

Will

most skilled in healing and light magic

has the least control over his magic

at some point found out be has plague magic and immediately panicked. He constantly tries to push down negative emotions in fear of losing control.

some how catches the interests of one of Kronos' wards/grandsons after tending to him when he got sick

Jake

royal blacksmith

is also magic along with one of his other brothers Leo.

able to control metal

fell hard for Michael, but isn't yet aware that he's also magic so he's constantly scared of being dumb and being caught

very protective of his brother,constantly covering up for him. If anyone every tried to accuse Leo he'd jump to take responsibility instead.

Nico

Son of Kronos' eldest, his father was forced into hiding with his uncles for magic

Like his cousins heavily hides his own abilities from others.

due to their fathers' disownment, Nico, his siblings and his cousins are no longer in line for the thrown.

he likes to mess around with Will at times, mainly trying to keep him at arm's length to not get caught. But Will tends to just take it or lecture him about being careful.

Luke

Father's wereabouts unknown, he was taken in by Kronos after his seer mother gave out a prophecy to the king before falling ill.

due to the prophecy Kronos cut down on magic, teaching Luke to be same, using what happened to his mother as an example.

Kronos chose Luke as his heir after disowning his sons.

Lee was assigned to Luke after they saved him from assassin. But Kronos quickly realized how easily Luke got attached to him and is willing to hold that over his Hier's head if he needs to.

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

Trying Out Tickles

Summary: When Merlin chooses to sass him, Arthur decides to test some interesting information he learned about his manservant.

(Merry Christmas @cantsaythetword ! ❤️ :) I was your squealing Santa this year! ❤️ :) I loved the TV show the first time I saw it and instantly knew Merlin had to be ticklish ❤️ :) I hope you have a Happy Holiday however you celebrate, and a great New Year ❤️ :))

"Merlin, you idiot! You'll dent it!"

The dark haired boy cringed as he pulled himself up from the floor. "It's armor Arthur."

"Still. A future king shouldn't appear before his people with dented armor."

"Stop having battles and you'll have nothing to worry about your royal pratness."

As Merlin picked up the dropped armor pieces, Arthur scowled. "I'd advise you not to speak to me like that."

"Yeah well when have I ever listened to your advice."

While Merlin muttered insults and picked up the pieces, a small smile pulled at the corner of the future king's mouth. He knew Merlin never meant any harm. He just did it to get under Arthur's skin. Then, as Merlin gathered the last of the pieces, Arthur took a step toward him. "I want to be able to see myself in the reflection before practice tomorrow."

"Thought you didn't want to dent it?"

"Huh?"

"One look at your face and the whole piece will bend."

Arthur reached to smack the back of Merlin's head. However, the younger boy managed to duck and gave Arthur a playful bump with his hip.

"Oi!"

Merlin smirked. "What about those reflexes your majesty?"

"You know, you're getting on my nerves."

The younger boy dodged another attack from Arthur. "Just have that affect on people."

"Idiot."

"Clotpole!"

"Moron!"

As the last insult left his mouth, Arthur reached forward to poke the younger boy's chest. However, at the sight of Arthur's hand moving, Merlin had reactively turned. So instead of poking his chest, Arthur's finger poked his ribs.

A surprised squeak left Merlin's mouth as he jumped away.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Y-your finger hit a bruise."

Arthur tried to cover up his concern with sarcasm. "Don't be such a girl Merlin."

The younger boy glared at the future king of Camelot. "Then don't be such a dunce!"

Arthur reached forward and poked Merlin's ribs again.

And once again, Merlin squeaked and jumped, but he couldn't quite hide the nervous giggles that followed. "Aharthur!"

Arthur's brow furrowed as he studied the thinner boy. The response did not equal a bruise on the ribs. "Are you sure it's a bruise?"

Merlin immediately backed away. "Yes, and don't gehet any ideheas!"

"Any ideas about what?"

"N-nothing!"

"What's gotten into you Merlin?"

"Nothing!"

Arthur watched with a slight twinge in his heart as the younger man scurried away. How had he gone from cocky to cowering in the blink of an eye? Had he really been that injured? Had someone done something to his ribs? Had Arthur done something? He had seemed fine all day today.

For another moment, the future king mulled over the clues. A memory from an interaction he had accidentally seen between Merlin and his mother Hunith had caused a similar response. He had completely forgotten about it until now. And, if memory served correct, Hunith had used a certain technique that had her son squealing and squirming as he apologized.

What was it she had called it? Something with a T? Arthur thought to himself.

Finally, a light clicked on. It was tickling.

Growing up in the castle, Arthur had never really been tickled before. He had occasionally been tazered on the side or ribs by Morgana, and he had a few memories from his younger days of Gaius spidering some fingers under his chin or behind his ears to distract him from things. However, he had never been properly tickled before and he for sure had never tickled anyone else.

Guess that's about to change.

With a smirk on his face, Arthur followed Merlin. The stables were quiet at this hour and Merlin had been rude to him. So it seemed like the perfect opportunity for Arthur to practice.

Inside the small room, the younger man was busy distracting himself by cleaning the armor pieces he had brought with him. With a grin, Arthur quietly locked the door before stepping closer to his manservant.

Once he was close, he clapped Merlin's shoulders. "Merlin!"

The younger man jumped, sending the pieces clattering to the floor once again. Merlin immediately punched Arthur's arm. "Do you normally annoy people this much or am I just the exception?"

"What has gotten into you Merlin?" The future king firmly grabbed his manservant's wrist. "You've dropped my armor twice, talked to me in a manner not fit to address a future king, and now you're attacking me?"

Merlin growled and tried to free his wrist from the hold. It didn't hurt, but he didn't like the fact that Arthur clearly had more strength than him.

As if to prove that thought, Arthur gently tugged Merlin toward him before quickly turning him around. Two arms then held him in place as he tried to squirm away.

"Arthur!"

"Maybe it's time someone taught you a lesson."

"Go for it! I'm used to the stocks."

"Who said I was putting you in the stocks?"

"What then?" Merlin stiffened. "Are you going to hit me instead?"

"Of course not. That's reserved for people who have done something horrid." The future king lowered them both to the floor. "Not for sassy manservants who are rude to their king."

Merlin raised an eyebrow at the change.

"Just to make sure you don't hurt yourself."

"What are you doing?"

"Something new." Arthur wrapped him in a hug and placed his hands around Merlin's thin sides. "Hunith gave me the idea."

Something about the situation clicked, making the younger man's eyes widen. "Dohon't you dare!"

"Don't do what Merlin?"

Merlin's mouth clamped his mouth shut.

"What Merlin?"

A head shake was his only response.

Arthur tried to bite back a smile as his manservant's squirming picked up again. "I can't stop if you don't tell me what it is I need to stop."

A squeak slipped out when Arthur's hands lightly squeezed. "Arthur!"

"Again, what's wrong Merlin?" The future king squeezed again with a little more force. "Ticklish?"

"Ah! Noho!"

Arthur couldn't hold back the grin on his face as he added in more and more squeezes.

"No! Ah! Clohotpohole!"

"You insulting me does not make me want to stop."

"Jerk!"

The future king's hands slowly squeezed upwards. "What was that?"

Merlin's laughter suddenly broke out when Arthur's hands made contact with his ribs. It didn't help that his thinner frame made it easier to grab and squeeze.

However, for all his squirming and insulting, Merlin never told Arthur to stop, nor did he try to pull away. He stayed squirming in the same place in Arthur's arms.

The future king smirked as he latched on to the spaces between Merlin's ribs. He was going slow and cautiously so he wouldn't hurt his manservant. But it was fun to make him laugh and squirm like a girl.

Why hadn't he done this sooner?

Suddenly a random idea popped in to his mind. "Merlin? How many ribs does the human body have?"

"IHI DOHONT KNOHOW!"

"Well why don't we see?"

"WHAT!"

After placing his hands on Merlin's bottom most ribs, Arthur squeezed. "One."

"AH!"

Then his hands moved to the next two. "Two."

"NO!"

The next rib was squeezed. "Three."

"ARTHUR!"

"Quiet Merlin. Now look what you've done. I've lost count and have to start all over again."

"No yohou dOHONT!"

Over and over went Arthur's hands, turning Merlin into a cackling, snorting mess.

"Ugh, I'm bored now." The future kings hands dug into Merlin's stomach. "What's hiding down here?"

The younger man squeaked as he curled into a ball.

"Ah, so it's a curling spot I see."

"Shut uhup!"

"Interesting, but not very entertaining." Arthur experimentally squeezed Merlin's hip. "What about here?"

Merlin jumped! His laughter shot up in volume and he let out a wheeze.

"Oo, that's more like it."

The younger man shoved Arthur's chest and tried to worm away but he was quickly pulled back.

"Let's see if we can find another one."

"Lehet's nohot!"

"Come now Merlin." This time Arthur's hand wormed its way into the younger man's armpit. "Didn't Hunith teach you to share?"

While not as ticklish as his hips, Merlin's armpits still produced a ton of laughter and squirms. Arthur would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying this atleast a little bit. Merlin looked absolutely adorable and his contagious smile brought one to the future king's face too.

He decided to try one more thing before releasing the breathless younger man. Arthur leaned forward and pressed his lips against Merlin's neck before blowing hard. In response, Merlin squealed and kicked his legs just as he had for Hunith.

Once he was through, Arthur held Merlin close a little longer. "Now, if you get sassy again, I'll be forced to use same technique again."

The younger man kicked the future king's leg. "Dohont you dahare!"

"Ticklish idiot."

"Thihich headed Prahat!"

Arthur squeezed his knee. "Try that again?"

"AH! Yohou're royal prahatness!"

"That's more like it." The future king teased before playfully shoving him away. "Now come on, my armor still needs cleaning."

Merlin muttered, "Clean it yourself."

Arthur raised one eyebrow.

Merlin scurried to his feet and re-prepped the armor pieces for cleaning.

Arthur chuckled before heading out of the room. He trusted Merlin's work, but if he pushed the future king again, he may just have to use Hunith's tickle tactics all over again.

[sassybluee]

So I've been reading Le Morte D'Arthur cuz of reasons and I feel like I'm finally getting into it. There's some parts that are really amusing me now?

For example, after Arthur pulls out the sword in the stone and becomes king, he's been fighting the other kings who don't trust his claim for a while. Merlin comes to Arthur and tells him who his mother is, so Arthur sends for her. When Ygraine arrives, someone who previously fought Arthur is like "If this is really your son, why didn't you come forth when we were all disputing his claim?" and she's like "Listen buddy, idk him either, last time I saw him was when he was a baby." lmao??

(and then she goes on to say she trusts Merlin's knowledge and he told her this was her son)

And then not soon after that, some messengers from Rome come to tell Arthur he needs to pay tribute to their emperor? And Arthur is like "well, you're just messengers so you can say what you want." Nice to know Arthur was a sass king even in the 15th century.

Anyway he essentially told the messengers to tell their emperor that he'd pay tribute to him on the battlefield if he came to fight him in person.

It's sometimes hard to get thru but there's def some gems.

[fandom-eater67]

Why do Merlin and Lucius give me the same vibe. The same way Merlin is constantly sassing the fucking prince/king of camelot, Lucius is scolding the great pirate Blackbeard for not treating his boyfriend right.

(this is making me thing of a pirate!merlin/knight!lucius au and its entertaining)

[queen-of-obsessing]

hear me out 

she 

is their daughter

the sass of merlin, and the frown of arthur

pov: your two dads are the most famous king who ever lived and the most powerful sorcerer who ever lived

[audikatia]

I'll be honest, it was a lot of rereads this year because 1) I love rereading favs and 2) so many of the new books I read this year were just eh.

Total list with ratings below:

Wise Gals: The Spies Who Built the CIA and Changed the Future of Espionage by Nathalia Holt ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Maid by Nita Prose ⭐️⭐️

Book Lovers by Emily Henry ⭐️⭐️

Hidden Pictures by Jason Rekulak ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Agent Josephine: American Beauty, French Beauty, British Spy by Damien Lewis ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Any Way the Wind Blows by Rainbow Rowell ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Pallbearer’s Club by Paul Tremblay ⭐️⭐️

Harry Potter and the Art of Spying by Lynn M. Boughey ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Golden Boys by Phil Stamper ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Honeys by Ryan La Sala ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The 99 Boyfriends of Micah Summers by Adam Sass ⭐️

Teen Titans: Beast Boy Loves Raven by Kami Garcia and Gabriel Picolo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Teen Titans: Robin by Kami Garcia and Gabriel Picolo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Bad Gays: a Homosexual History by Huw Lemmey and Ben Miller ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Woman in the Window by A. J. Finn ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han ⭐️⭐️

It’s Not Summer Without You by Jenny Han ⭐️⭐️

We’ll Always Have Summer by Jenny Han ⭐️⭐️

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Seige and Storm by Leigh Bardugo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Rise and Ruin by Leigh Bardugo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Everyone in My Family has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Rogues: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels, and Crooks by Patrick Raddon Keefe ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Dead End Girls by Wendy Heard ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Bravely by Maggie Stiefvater ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Afterglow by Phil Stamper ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good Girl, Bad Blood by Holly Jackson ⭐️⭐️⭐️

As Good as Dead by Holly Jackson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Monster’s Bones: The Discovery of T. Rex and How It Shook Our World by David K. Randall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Five Survive by Holly Jackson ⭐️⭐️

Spell Bound by F.T. Lukens ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide by Rupert Holmes ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Fake Dates and Mooncakes by Sher Lee ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Any Way the Wind Blows by Rainbow Rowell ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

When Brooklyn was Queer by Hugh Ryan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Something Wild and Wonderful by Anita Kelly ⭐️⭐️

Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Real Queer America: LGBT Stories from Red States by Samantha Allen ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Only One Left by Riley Sager ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Opal by Maggie Stiefvater ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

So This is Ever After by F.T. Lukens ⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of Us is Lying by Karen M. McManus ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of Us is Next by Karen M. McManus ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of Us is Back by Karen M. McManus ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Liar City by Allie Therin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

In Deeper Waters by F.T. Lukens ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Summer Sons by Lee Mandelo ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The World Without Us by Alan Weisman ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Entangled Life by Merlin Sheldrake ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Seriously, Murder? by Monica Hoopes ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Awakening by Kate Chopin ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Drift by C. J. Tudor ⭐️⭐️

Scones and Scofflaws by Jane Gorman ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune ⭐️⭐️

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ten Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wolfsong by TJ Klune ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Funny You Should Ask by Elissa Sussman ⭐️⭐️

How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix ⭐️⭐️

Small Favors by Erin A. Craig ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Raven King by Nora Sakavic ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

All the King’s Men by Nora Sakavic ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Christine by Stephen King ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Male Gazed by Manuel Betancourt ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Haunting of Alejandra by V. Castro ⭐️⭐️

Hemlock Island by Kelley Armstrong ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Vanishing Stair by Maureen Johnson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Hand on the Wall by Maureen Johnson ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Box in the Woods by Maureen Johnson ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Nine by Maureen Johnson ⭐️⭐️

The Iliad by Homer, translated by Emily Wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Art Thief by Michael Finkel ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Children on the Hill by Jennifer McMahon ⭐️⭐️

Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Gwen and Art are Not in Love by Lex Croucher ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

When Crack was King by Donovan X. Ramsey ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Slippery Creatures by K. J. Charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Sugared Game by K. J. Charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Subtle Blood by K. J. Charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Monsters by Claire Dederer ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Allergic by Theresa McPhail ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[makmakgoose]

And like the cycle of the year, we begin again

For many long years Merlin waited. 

For the other part of his soul, for the other half of his life. He was born to serve Arthur. So that meant he was also born to wait. Even if it took a thousand years. Even if the wait seemed never to end.

Until one day, suddenly, it did.

When Arthur stumbles from the Lake of Avalon 1,500 years after his death, he finds a world unlike the one he knew. Faced with the loss of everyone he loved, and the threat of impending prophecy, Arthur must learn what it means to be not just a king, but the Once and Future King. Merlin does all he can to guide him, even as he struggles to hide his love for his king, and his fear of losing him again.

Story includes sass, banter, horseplay, & True Love.

LINK

[cultofcola]

How are your bonds with the other characters in ur merlin dr +will u be changing the ending?

i looooooove this question!!!!!! my merlin dr <3

𓂅 𝓐RTHUR 𝓟ENDRAGON. future husband. like. confirmed by king uther. i literally went to camelot just for that. you would think that we would be always attached to each other, giggling and smiling at each other like two idiots in love, right? well. maybe one day. but not anytime soon. see: arthur needs to figure out some things. he's a clotpole. an adorable one… i am not blind. but seriously. he can try to flirt with me (his future wife!!!!!!) all he wants with that damn sword, but he should stop being mean to his servants. and stop being so arrogant. we can be friends sometimes .. because he is not the worst person in the world, but god damn arthur pendragon have some manners!!!!!!

𓂅 𝓢IR 𝓛EON. in a world of boys he's a gentleman!!!! he is like super sweet and doesn't have time for mundane things such as spending time with someone other than his knights, but everytime i have some troubles he is always there to help! (unlike someone *cough* arthur). he is a listener more than a talker.

𓂅 𝓛ADY 𝓜ORGANA. she is everything to me. i swear i could ride at dawn just for her honour, i would conquest cities for my best friend. i want someone to talk to? morgana. i am laughing? definitely doing it with morgana. walking around the castle, watching the knights exercising, talking shit about arthur. we share our secrets with each other. we are like sisters fr.

𓂅 𝓖WEN. i don't spend much time with her as morgana does, but everytime we are together it's like spring. like: flowers are more colourful, the air is warmer, everything seems to be out of a fairytale. i love gwen and i would consider her one of my closest friends.

𓂅 𝓜ERLIN. we are in camelot where magic is illegal. he has magic. so, of course he had to be my best friend. he insults the prince as much as me, and his SASS???!???? of course we had to be friends!!!!! i know about his magic because i accidentally saw him, and i always try to help him when someone is trying to kill him or the reign or arthur. we share one brain cell.

then we have people like gaius and uther… i try to spend less time as possible with uther. and gaius? he's just there. like. he's funny sometimes but so serious.

also: the plot. yes, of course i am changing it. i don't want my future hubby like that…. and merlin needs his friend. like bro. that finale broke me. and morgana…. i don't want her to be evil. like i will try to prevent things from happening.