#merlin could never achieve his destiny no matter how hard he tries

[dontbelasagne]

decided to watch Merlin in its entirety for the first time, and having gotten over halfway now i initially was quite annoyed at how they had written these characters. Merlin leading Morgana down the path of (almost cartoonish) evil by simply not being more open with her about magic, arthur being lead to feel more antagonistic towards magic rather than encouraging a more nuanced understanding, and many more examples of characters becoming tropes rather than having depth.

but now I've come to appreciate the best part of this show. that these characters are both deeply flawed, and in being so desperately protect who and what they care for. they commit and they act for the hope that those they love can simply have another day to decide for themselves. to encourage or to resolve yourself to a certain fate is defying the very chaotic nature of this world. yet the systems of Uther and Camelot constricts free choice by making a moral fallacy of magic, a fundamental aspect of both people and nature itself. they are all doomed, knowing nothing could be earned from sacrifice, only equally bloody war. you play your part, because if you dont, you die knowing you did nothing.

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Seklos and Gaylen, They Were Cagemates! Chapter 2: The Disappearance

Douxie and Krel have a conversation. Their respective loved ones wait for them to come home.

And we're onto chapter 2! Huge thanks to everyone who has been supportive so far.

Trigger/spoiler warning for: assumed child death, background torture, and weighing of lives. 

AO3

FFN

Being a familiar had gotten easier over the years, in Archie’s opinion. He had no idea why no one was taking up the profession anymore. It had gotten easier as Douxie had learned to talk in full sentences instead of just babbling and pointing. It had gotten easier as Douxie had figured out how to con people and pick pockets instead of relying on whatever Archie could hunt and the two of them trying to beg for food. It had gotten easier when Merlin had taken them in.

And, it had gotten easier in many ways with the modern world. Archie had tried following Douxie to the school he was having to attend, taking on the forms of flying insects, but eventually Douxie had told him to stick to the apartment. Apparently, it was strange for him to be followed by butterflies and bees. And, well, Archie would certainly admit that it was easier to lay about in one place, occasionally masquerading as the bookstore’s cat.

Maybe he should have gone to the Battle of the Bands today. Been supportive of his familiar’s musical prowess. Douxie had been so excited for today, though it wasn’t like he was expecting much, if any, competition. Besides, Archie had been to Douxie’s other concerts in the past. He had improved so much from the lute he had found and attempted to play, only to drive Merlin, Morgana, and Archie to agree that teaching Douxie how to use magic to soundproof a room might not bring more harm than good.

Archie had been tempted to leave the apartment, but the sky outside had turned orange. There was probably yet another fire going on. Pity. Even though he was a dragon, Archie wasn’t a fan of smoke inhalation. It wasn’t good for Douxie. It was bad enough that he had gotten so sick in those first few months after the two of them first came here because of all the pollution he hadn’t been used to.

And Douxie hadn’t come home, even though the sky had returned to normal.

Maybe he was out with friends, and he had forgotten to call. Or maybe he had been called into work at the bistro, and he had forgotten to call. He was fine. Archie was going to lecture Douxie when he got home, but it wasn’t like Douxie was hurt or anything. He was seventeen and could take care of himself; Archie was just worrying too much. That was why he felt so strange.

There was a loud, familiar knock at the door. Perhaps that was Douxie now. Archie flew to the door and peered through the peephole.

Oh.

Archie opened the door. “What are you doing here?”

Merlin looked old. He had always looked old, having been elderly when he achieved immortality, but he looked older than he had ever. At the very least, he looked so much more tired than Archie had ever seen him.

“Archie, I’m so sorry.”

Merlin never apologized. On occasion, he would say things that sounded somewhat like apologies if you knew what to look for, but he wouldn’t outright apologize. Then again, it had been longer for Merlin than it had been for Archie, so perhaps he had changed? Gotten kinder in his old age?

Archie tilted his head. “What for?”

Merlin sighed. “So it wasn’t recent, then.”

“So what wasn’t recent?”

“Hisirdoux’s death. I know it must be incredibly hard for you since you… were his familiar.”

“Excuse me? He’s not dead, I saw him just this morning, so it would’ve had to have been recent, and since you didn’t find a body –”

“No, but I didn’t sense his magic, either.”

Archie opened his mouth to make a snarky retort towards the wizard, but then he closed it.

Archie couldn’t sense Douxie’s magic. He had always been able to sense Douxie’s magic, even before they had sealed the familiar bond, but after sealing the bond he would always be able to sense Douxie’s magic, no matter how far away Douxie was.

But Archie couldn’t sense him now.

“There, there could be another reason.”

“Like what?” And that sounded more like the Merlin Archie had known. Cantankerous, as opposed to mournful. “It’s not like there are any antimagic zones in Arcadia, and I highly doubt Hisirdoux has learned how to create one in the years since I sent the two of you here.”

Archie narrowed his eyes and flattened back his ears. His tail flicked. Merlin had never cared about Douxie, had never recognized just how much skill and potential Douxie had. “Why are you here? Last I heard, Morgana was your largest priority.”

Granted, it had been a long time.

“Morgana’s threat was finally neutralized today; in case you didn’t notice her attempt at the Eternal Night. I’m going to the other side of this continent to find a Heartstone as well as to take care of some personal matters. You’re welcome to come with; I’ll keep the trolls from eating you,” Merlin said.

Archie sniffed. “I’m not abandoning him.”

Not like you did.

“Hisirdoux is dead, Archie. We both know it to be true.”

“No, you’ve just given up on him!” Like you did before. “I won’t. There has to be another reason why we don’t know where he is. Besides, I’m his familiar. I know him far better than you ever have.”

Besides, Archie had never abandoned Douxie. His parents had, Morgana had, Merlin had, but Archie had been with him through it all. Merlin didn’t get to lay claim to Douxie’s life and death like that. He had no right to.

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Fine, then. Stay here, waiting for someone who will never come back for you. I’ll come back later when destiny permits it.” He then closed the door behind him in such a way that Merlin had once lectured Douxie about.

What a hypocrite.

“Oh, sure, wait here for someone who will never come back for you, he says,” Archie complained to the too-empty apartment. “Never mind that that’s exactly what Douxie did for you, you selfish old man.”

And just like Merlin did, Douxie would come back.

No, not just like Merlin. Archie would welcome back his familiar.

Though, Archie supposed that it wouldn’t hurt to find Douxie instead of waiting. If Morgana had finally attempted the Eternal Night, Douxie could be hurt.

As a cat, Archie travelled the streets of Arcadia Oaks. Troll bodies littered the streets, though there were a couple gruesomes already beginning to eat them. Archie frowned as he stepped on a piece of smooth wood instead of rock. He looked down.

Surely that wasn’t Douxie’s guitar laying broken beneath Archie’s feet. Even if Douxie had run away he would have taken his guitar with him. Besides, it had been the Battle of the Bands. There would have been so many others with guitars, and surely this wasn’t the only red-and-white electric guitar that had been present. Archie pushed at the base of the guitar, checking to see the underside. The only marring of the wood would be from battle.

The underside had a portion where the initials CO’D had been carved, crossed out, and replaced by HC.

The guitar belonged to Hisirdoux Casperan. He’d bought the guitar at a thrift store, had gotten Zoe’s help to fix it up, and then had made it his own. Douxie had been so happy to have this modern version of a lute.

Douxie wasn’t here.

Archie curled up on top of the broken guitar, mewing pitifully.

Douxie couldn’t be dead. Archie would know if his familiar had died. He had raised the boy. He would know.

He would know.

Right?

“I mean, I don’t exactly know where here is. You do?” the caged human asked.

“An Earth military base called Area 49-B, but I thought they just studied and tortured life beings that aren’t from Earth.” Krel’s voice shook with terror. He wrapped his arms around himself. Kleb, oh kleb. He was going to be tortured. And experimented on. And they had taken his clothes; how had they taken his clothes? They were meant to be difficult to remove and helped to regulate responses to the environment as well as protect his core. He felt so exposed. “And you’re human, so, why are you here?”

“I mean, apparently to be tortured,” Douxie said, trying to hide the panic that rose with every heartbeat. It seemed that humans hadn’t changed by much after all these centuries, still trying to hurt those with magic because they didn’t understand it. Well, magic or whatever this alien had. “But I’m a wizard.”

The four-armed boy stared at Douxie. Douxie suspected he was raising an eyebrow in disbelief, though the lighting made it hard to tell. And, well, Douxie would have expected such a reaction from his classmates (especially before the Gumm-Gumm attack), but this guy wasn’t from Earth. And on one hand, wow, he wasn’t from Earth, but on the other hand, shouldn’t he not be like everyone else assuming that magic didn’t exist anymore?

“I mean, I’d show you, but my magic isn’t working right now.” He’d tried to use it to break out. It didn’t help that his bracer had been replaced with these stupid cuffs. The only good thing about them was the fact that they gave off a very small amount of warmth, because the cage was otherwise very cold, and his white gown was very thin. “But these Area 43-“

“- 49-B,” Krel interrupted.

“-goons took me out when I was using magic,” the wizard said, not seeming to care that he was interrupted. “I just hope I was the only one taken from my… community. I, it’s not like I’m the only wizard on this side of the continent, and I wouldn’t want them to be waiting to get tortured.”

“I think I understand,” Krel said. “I’m not the only one from my planet here on this mudball, and I hope they weren’t captured, either.”

Maybe this could work. Krel wasn’t a fighter, but neither was Stuart, and Stuart had escaped all those keltons ago. Plus, Krel might have an ally. One who could talk, while it seemed like Buster was unable to. They could discuss an escape plan together.

The wizard shifted the way he was sitting and looked upwards. “Huh, so other planets do exist? I guess they really weren’t trying to mess with me and Arch when they said that there were more than four other planets and none of them revolved around the Earth.”

No, this wizard could not be considered a useful ally. He was clearly an idiot, more so than everyone else on this mudball. More than metaphorically the wizard seemed to actually think Earth was somehow the center of the universe. If Krel were to somehow escape on his own, he would leave the wizard behind.

Even if Krel felt horrible right now, watching two of the orange-suited scientists remove the wizard from his cage, hitting him over the head when he tried to fight back. Figuring out a way to escape – hopefully without getting tortured at all – so Krel could save his planet was more important than saving this one life-being Krel had shared a conversation with. Krel wrapped his arms around himself and shook his head. Besides, this wizard might be even worse at physical challenges than Krel was, and Krel already knew that figuring out how to escape without outside help would be difficult even without factoring in the burden of taking someone else with him.

But, hopefully, Krel wouldn’t need to figure out how to escape. Surely Aja was coming to rescue him right now with Stuart, Zadra, and Luug in tow, and Krel would even let her gloat about it.

Aja woke up to the sound of birds. Ah, what a happy sound to wake up to. Their chirping was so lively. It was another good thing about the Mothership being so far from the city. Aja liked the humans, but some of their technology was far noisier than any similar equivalent back on Akiridion-V. But chirping? Chirping was a happy, lively sound.

Aja climbed out of bed, running a hand through her hair, and stretching two of her other arms. She yawned. She and Steve had stayed up late talking. It was good to know that they wouldn’t have to start worrying about having a long-distance relationship yet.

She walked over to the breakfast nook. Lucy was making pancakes, and Zadra was reading reports while Ricky tried to strike up a conversation.

Varvatos wasn’t there because he had sacrificed himself for her parents. Aja frowned at the memory, and then she frowned even harder when she noticed another absence at the nook.

“Krel’s not up yet?” she asked. That was odd. Even on nights where he stayed up late, he was still up early in the morning, grumpy and pretending that he had gotten far more sleep than he actually had. “Or is he skipping breakfast again?”

“The king-in-waiting is not down in the lab, I already checked when I tried – and failed – to contact the resistance at the start of the delson,” Zadra said. “Eat, and then we’ll go wake him.”

Aja nodded, frowned, and began eating. The taste of Lucy’s pancakes cleared her frown but not her worry.

That really didn’t sound like Krel. Well, not unless he had snuck past Zadra to get to his lab. Aja hadn’t even realized her brother was interested in doing things like sneaking off before yesterday evening. Back on Akiridion-V, he had never gone with her, even when she had asked him to sneak off with her.

Aja swallowed the rest of her food, and she and Zadra made their way to Krel’s room. She placed a hand on the doorknob.

“Krel, come on, you don’t want to miss –“

Krel’s room was empty. Was this what it felt like for Krel every time she snuck off? Had he been afraid every single time?

“Uh, are you sure he isn’t in the lab?” Aja asked, trying to mask her fear.

“I’ll go check again,” Zadra said, frowning and narrowing her eyes. Aja followed her, wrapping one pair of arms around herself.

Krel wasn’t in the lab.

Krel wasn’t in the Mothership at all, and they had checked every room, calling for him.

“I thought he came home last night,” Aja said, quickly scrubbing away the tears that threatened to form.

“What?” Zadra asked.

“He snuck out yesterday evening.”

“And you didn’t stop him?”

Aja shook her head. She should have, or she should have gone with him.

Zadra stared at the ground away from Aja. “I don’t understand, he’s never snuck out before. This isn’t like him.”

But it’s exactly like you, came the unspoken accusation. Zadra had dragged Aja back to the castle so many times in the past, but never Krel. Krel had been the quiet one, the child who stuck to the background and his technology. He didn’t go outside.

He was the good sibling, and Aja wasn’t. She was the one who usually snuck off. She was the one who didn’t protect her little brother. She was the one who prioritized talking to Steve instead of making sure he would be okay.

Whatever had happened to him, it was her fault.

Aja waited for the lecture.

It never came.

“I’m going to go see if I can find him near the ship,” Zadra said. “Stay here. Akiridion-V can’t lose you as well.”

As soon as Aja was out of Zadra’s sight she pulled out her phone and called Steve. He picked up on the third ring.

“Hey there, my ninja-kicking angel!”

“Hi, Steve. Have you seen my brother?”

“Uh, not since the trolls attacked yesterday. Why do you ask?”

Aja burst into tears.

Author’s note: the scratched-out initials on Douxie's guitar are based on the initials of his VA; they will not be important to the fic.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

A collection of fics I’ve read (/reread) and thoroughly enjoyed in the past week-ish from all kinds of fandoms and genres.

BNHA

✩ rise up and hear the bells by redrobin1989 (Note: possibly the only time I’ll ever rec a quirkless Deku fic. Brilliant.)

‘... and in other news, this year’s Heroes Gala JP will be this upcoming Saturday night, celebrating those who made the Top 100. Explosion maintained his number one title for the third year in a row but the real surprise is Deku, everyone’s favorite, and only, Quirkless hero snagging the coveted Symbol of Peace title. It’s a controversial decision which we will be discussing in the days leading up to the event. After the break, our next guest…’

Izuku had promised All Might that he would carry on his legacy as his successor, even after his mentor’s death. It had been more difficult without a quirk but Deku had decided long ago that nothing so small would stop him from achieving his dreams. Now that he had actually made it though, he thought he’d have a better idea of what to write for his acceptance speech...

helping hands by PitViperOfDoom

Class 1-A's second day ends with a bang.

Area Man Always Has Backup Problem Just In Case by pepperfield (Note: I’ve recced this before but it just updated, so now it’s finished and has a de-aging chapter!)

Even when you're the best, being a hero can be trying at times, especially since there's a whole world of wacky quirks out there to complicate things. Like body-switching. Or spontaneous de-aging.

The course of true rivalry never did run smooth.

[Three times Bakugou and Midoriya got entangled in some manner of bullshit at work, and one time things actually went pretty okay.]

Clothes Make The Man by PotterheadAvengerDemigod

Fuck, of all the shoots his classmates had to see, it had to be that one. It couldn’t have been an older one, where he could have brushed it off as something he’d used to do in the past, or one where he didn’t look like he actually cared.

No, it had to be this fucking print.

Katsuki stands, and tries to leave the room.

/OR/ The one where Baku models for his parents' fashion company and his classmates find out.

Stage Left! (Uh, your other left) by dormantchrysalis

Having Midoriya and Todoroki starring as romantic leads in their 2nd year school play wasn't planned, that just happened.

But since the boys are in this situation anyway, why not meddle, just a little, to get the oblivious idiots to admit their feelings to each other?

Good Omens

✩ it's a new craze by attheborder (+podfic!)

CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan. AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we? CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all. AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous. CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

***

Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

Star Trek

I Will Have This by orphan_account

Just as she finished adding a small box of sweets to her items, she felt a tug on the sleeve of her robe. Turning, she had a smile prepared, and a praise on the tip of her tongue for whatever item her son had chosen. That turned into a sharp gasp when she realized that carefully ensconced in her son’s arms was not any item for sale in the shop, but a very human baby.

“Mother, I will have this.”

DC

Obedience by Sohotthateveryonedied

Something is seriously wrong with Tim—Jason just knows it. Ever since the Mad Hatter incident, Tim has been acting completely different, and the worst part is that no one believes Jason when he tells them so.

But when the truth is eventually revealed, the whole family comes to realize that the situation is far worse than anyone could have ever predicted.

Merlin

Catching Bees with Honey by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

“So let me get this straight,” Arthur said, folding his fingers together as the man in front him awkwardly shifted. “You are under the impression if you win the favor of my servant that you will then win my favor?” He asked and the nobleman shifted again.

“Well, sire.” He said “That is the common consensus among… The chatter.”

“The chatter.” Arthur repeated and his mind flashed to all the kindness Merlin had received from other nobles. Dear God.

Or

Merlin has all of Camelot (and neighboring kingdoms) wrapped around his finger and Arthur is beginning to resign himself to the fact his servant somehow has more power than he does.

ATLA

heart of a dragon by discordiansamba

Fate turns a little differently, and Zuko ends up being raised far away from the royal palace- and with dragons. But no matter how things change, one thing remains the same- that it's his destiny to teach the Avatar firebending, and to fight against the Fire Lord. That's the easy part. The hard part? Literally everything else.

(or, local feral firebender does his best)

[mordredfuckingpendragon]

Submission: For Cukibola

@cukibola asked for an elaboration on my Fix-It AU, which I already talked about on the Fuckyeaharthuriana blog, but I left many things out. Since I can‘t submit it directly to them, I hope it‘s fine if I do it via this blog. Massive, massive wall of text incoming!

So the main story: Mordred is a pretty decent guy, thinks King Lot is his father and admires King Arthur. Then the priest tells him about his true parentage and what his destiny is. Additionally, Mordred also finds out his father wanted to drown him as a child and many other innocent babies actually did because he was told a child born on Mayday would kill him. Mordred is completely floored by these revelations, but he‘s sure he‘s not and never will be a monster and thus tries to defy destiny by trying to be as good as he can be.

Self-doubts, second-guessing of his choices and the temptation to just give in to evil still sneak in, however, driving him to be even more heroic to the point of recklessness. Other people interpret this as glory-hogging and Mordred feels he can‘t tell anybody the truth, so he suffers in silence. It‘s also not helping that his desillusionment with Arthur and other things are making him cynical and bitter and resentment towards his actual father is building up.

Arthur notices the change in Mordred and one day asks him in private what‘s wrong. This simple question is the last straw and Mordred has a breakdown right then and there. He tells his father what the priest told him, doubts if his efforts actually mean anything, that he might as well just accept the role fate has assigned him, wishes he didn‘t exist and other things. The sight is absolutely heart-wrenching, but Arthur can only stand there helplessly and doesn‘t know what to do, Mordred is inconsolable. He can only say that he didn‘t know Morgause was his sister and that the Mayday Massacre will haunt him for the rest of his life. Eventually, Arthur has to put sleeping powder into Mordred‘s wine to finally calm the poor man down.

After Mordred wakes up, Arthur apologizes again and explains that killing the babies was Merlin‘s idea and that he deeply regrets not having put his foot down in that situation. It‘s one reason why they have grown apart and he reassures Mordred he believes in him. He already knew who he really was and saw Mordred‘s survival as a small chance to atone for the deaths of the other children.

When Gawain finds out what happened, he‘s quick to offer his brother his support and the rest of the Orkney brothers follow suit, because family is family. The doubts and cynicism don‘t go away, but they are now much easier to deal with and reign in.

Then enter Galahad, Lancelot‘s illegitimate son. He takes his father‘s title as best knight in the world like usual and he and Mordred quickly become close due to their daddy issues and huge burdens of destiny hanging over their heads. Galahad suffers a bit of disillusionment with the world and being God‘s Chosen One puts huge pressure on him: He feels he has to hold himself to a far higher standard than everybody else, including the other Grail knights, and will chastise himself more for real or imagined mistakes, even if it‘s just bad thoughts/impulses. He doesn‘t like people treating him like a living saint and he often says: „If people could look into my mind, they wouldn‘t think of me like this.“ His relationship with Mordred and the general experiences he has at Camelot also further make him question if his life really only consists of achieving the Grail, doubts he already had at the abbey.

When the knights leave for the Grail Quest, Mordred begs Galahad not to go, because he fears he will never return, but he can‘t change his mind. When Galahad beholds they Grail at Sarras he has a chat with God where he decides the world isn‘t so bad after all and that he cherishes much there *cough*Mordred*cough*. He‘s in a deep sleep during that talk, though, so deep that people think he‘s dead and that is what the sailors tell everybody after leaving port without hearing that Galahad‘s actually fine. He leaves Sarras in Percival‘s capable hands and returns with Bors. Mordred, meanwhile, is devastated when he hears Galahad is dead, even when he had sort-of prepared himself for it. He had already started to resent Lancelot and Guinevere for their supposed affair, (they do have feelings for each other and both know it, but they have not actually acted on them, because they love and care for Arthur too much) because it‘s hypocritical and to him a symptom of a larger pattern of corruption. After Galahad‘s supposed death he falls into a deep hole, which makes him double down on trying to expose the corruption in Camelot, even if it will lead to war. When he finds out there is no true adultery going on and how close they got to a very destructive conflict, he has an epiphany and realizes he needs to get away from Camelot for a while.

When he rests in a forest he randomly meets Galahad, but he thinks it‘s just a desperate dream, which is only reinforced after falling asleep crying into Galahad‘s arms, only to wake up the next morning with nobody there (Galahad didn‘t realize Mordred thought it was only a dream and had to suddenly leave. When he returns, Mordred is gone and he can‘t find him anymore).

Mordred roams the land as a knight errant for a while, soul searching, coming to terms with Galahad‘s death, and discovering the true issues the people have that need to be adressed. When he returns to Camelot, him being shocked to see Galahad suddenly turning out to be alive is an understatement and he can‘t describe the complicated relief he feels. They work to bring postive change to the kingdom by trying to find solutions to the problems of the common people and become one of the happiest couples in Camelot. Turns out Merlin was wrong when he insisted fate is unavoidable.

Other better life decisions people make/other stuff I changed:

Arthur accepts Guinevere‘s and Lancelot‘s love because he can‘t really do anything about it and because have no affair going on, so Gareth doesn‘t die and no huge war.

Morgause realizes the destructiveness of her lust for revenge after finding out about her son‘s suffering and decides to let go of it once and for all

Morgaine realizes her actions have devastating consequences to the people around her and who she loves, so she no longer wants Arthur dead, too. People still don‘t know whose side she is on and what exactly she wants, though.

Gawain‘s a flawed, but principled knight who reigns his nastier tendencies like his lust for revenge in more. Killing the innocent maiden in his first adventure makes him realize to not let his hot-headedness and vengefulness get the better of him. When Pellinore accidentily kills his father, though, his grief and anger make him irrational and he kills the king in revenge, no matter how much the others tell him not to. When he realizes what he has done, he immediately feels deep regret and goes to Lamorak to put his life in his hands. He‘s made it clear to both his family and Lamorak that whatever he decides to do with him, this will end the feud once and for all. Lamorak, also because Arthur begged him to let go of this useless feud before more people die needlessly, decides that enough people have died and spares Gawain. Gawain is not thrilled when Lamorak hooks up with his mother, but he won‘t start another feud because of it, so Lamorak lives.

          When he sleeps with Lady Ettard and realizes how much    he‘s hurt Pelleas and her with it, he also realizes he needs better sexual ethics. When he falls for Ragnelle, his marriage to her ends his days as a ladies‘ man, though he is still the Maiden knight who fights for women.

When Pelleas almost dies from heartache, Ettard realizes she does love him after all without Nenive enchanting her, but it‘s too late. Pelleas has grown sick of her cold, harsh behaviour and doesn‘t want her love anymore. She doesn‘t die of desparation, but she will always live with the knowledge that she lost the man she loved through her own arrogance and cruelty and that he‘s now happy with another woman.

Lancelot feels very guilty about loving a married woman and tries to love another, to no avail. When he comes to the Grail Castle, in a fit of huge heartache and desperation, he has rebound sex with Elaine, trying so hard to make himself love her, but still imagining she‘s Guinevere. Elaine isn‘t innocent, either: She knew about the prophecy of Galahad‘s birth and did her duty, taking advantage of Lancelot‘s inner turmoil, but she still hoped they could become a couple. The morning after, Lancelot is ashamed of what he has done and leaves secretely. When Guinevere finds out he used a woman likes this, she is pissed and that‘s the reason why she bans him from court. After he‘s healed by the Grail, Lancelot apologizes to Elaine and she forgives him as does Guinevere. He comes to accept his feelings for the queen and learns to better deal with them, especially after Galahad arrives, the living reminder of his greatest shame. He tries to be a father to him, but fatherhood just isn‘t for him and their relationship remains awkward. Galahad wishes he could have a better relationship to his biological father, but he always finds comfort in God who he always saw as his true father. The other Elaine is less pushy about her desire for Lancelot, but he can‘t love anybody but Guinevere, but she‘s able to live with it.

Kay is a jerk, but he‘s like Wolfram von Eschenbach portrayed him: Testing new knights is part of his job and after meeting so many hot-headed wannabe-knights he‘s got zero patience for this attitude and is just tired, man. He‘s got a heart of gold, though. He‘s not so sure as Arthur about Mordred, because he‘s worried about his little brother, so he‘s watching him.

When Tristan ignores her and her letters, the French woman who loves him kills herself. When he finds out, he‘s devasted and blames himself because he could have let her down more gently and he can never fully get rid of this guilt. When he‘s with the other Isolde, he marries her because he‘s scared history will repeat, but realizes pretending to love someone to spare their feelings isn‘t the solution, either. They manage to part ways in good faith, however. Also, he and Palomides have some weird UST going on that neither wants to acknowledge.

King Mark, for all his shady character and ruthless actions, genuinely loves Isolde, even if these feelings are very twisted.

Palomides and Brangaine become friends and later lovers after he rescues her from her predicament at the tree. Initially, he thinks she loves Tristan and she‘s convinced he still loves Isolde, so neither says anything. Then they both think the other died and there‘s an overwhelmingly tearful reunion with mutual love confessions.

Pellinore is a bumbling idiot, but has a good heart. The sex with Tor‘s mother was consensual and he simply forgot and never knew she was pregnant from him. Aries married her to save her honour and loves Tor as his own. Tor also had his other brothers made knights and is concerned with social issues due to his peasant background. He ends up befriending Galahad and Mordred because of that.

Igraine hated Uther for all he did, but pretended to love him for safety. When she reunites with her son, she also meets his adoptive father Ector and they fall in love.

Merlin is insistent about prophecies being unavoidable and that they need to be followed, because he thinks they are God‘s will. Mordred being the sole survivor of the Mayday Massacre made that clear to him. He wants Britain to have a good king, prophecies cannot not be followed and if either involves doing unpleasant things, then so be it. He‘s so adamant about wanting to please God because of his half-succubus heritage. When he‘s proven wrong he‘s genuinely sorry and willing to take full responsibility.

[xnymphae]

Mastery

Aqua wasn’t a Master for very long before her time in the Realm of Darkness, and she was immediately thrust into the climactic battle with Xehanort upon finally escaping it. She was never given an opportunity to truly flourish in that role; never given an opportunity to guide and teach an apprentice as Eraqus did for her. If things had ended just a little bit differently in Birth By Sleep, there’s no doubt in my mind that she would have become the Master to both Riku and Kairi, traveling between Radiant Garden and Destiny Islands to train them. If Terra managed to achieve Mastery too, then she would have gladly given him control over Riku’s training in order to focus on Kairi’s. And, knowing Sora, he probably would have forced his way into training alongside his best friend and rival, no matter how hard Aqua and/or Terra resisted.

But, none of that happened.

Aqua deeply laments how the past ten years have been for... everyone. And, naturally, she blames herself entirely. She took such pride in becoming a Master, and felt as if she could truly make a difference in the worlds, but, ultimately, she failed, and Xehanort prevailed. By sending Terra-Xehanort back to the Realm of Light, she also set in motion the events of the rest of the series to date. Terra-Xehanort ended up becoming Ansem’s apprentice, later splitting into ‘Ansem’ and Xemnas... and we all know the various atrocities those two committed over the years. 

And yet, despite the overwhelming guilt that swallows her every night when she tries to sleep, she wants desperately to become worthy of the title of ‘Keyblade Master.’ She wants to take on an apprentice, despite the darkness staining her heart. She wants to make a difference again. She wants to atone for her self-perceived sins. And with her growing resentment towards Yen Sid, she is looking to those who have had no choice but to train under him. Mickey and Riku are Masters now, too, but, none of the others are. And some of them, namely Kairi and Lea, are still largely inexperienced in wielding the keyblade, despite their training with Merlin.

Aqua would be willing to train any of them, away from Yen Sid’s eye, but, the one she wishes to train the most is Kairi. After all, she was the one who (unknowingly) granted her the power to wield a keyblade... and, she knows that, if she hadn’t been trapped in the Realm of Darkness, she would have visited Radiant Garden again and again to see that precious little flower girl. She wants to train Kairi, Lea, Sora, any of the keyblade wielders, but with Kairi there’s an additional sense of duty and obligation to her, along with the regret of never being a part of her life until recently.

[lettersofsky]

Reincarnation AU for LtB!

Happy birthday @lovelesstobeloved! Hope you enjoy this thing! I’m gonna admit to having next to no knowledge about the mythos of Merlin and King Arthur (aside from watching maybe four episodes from the Merlin TV show when it was orginally being aired but even I know that’s not very close at all) so I went with... this.

Hope you’re having/had a great day!

Genesis’ parents had always called him a dreamer and he supposed that they had been right to say that as he preferred to be by himself amongst their vast orchards, pretending that he was any number of things all at once. They hadn’t deterred him his games, after all it made him a much easier child to deal with, and they had given him many opportunities to learn whatever skill pleased him.

He ended up leaving home not only with an extensive knowledge of the cultivation and growth of plants, but with an expert knowledge on poetry and an above average lute player if he said so himself. He was also very good at playing the roles expected of him, but the less said about that the better.

He expected to be kicked out of Shinra when he and Angeal reached Midgar, for the trainers and examiners to tell him that there was no place for someone like him amongst their ranks, but then they’d discovered his peculiar aptitude with Materia and any hopes he had of joining the theatre group he’d been dreaming of were dashed. Apparently, it was lucky that any one SOLDIER on a mission knew how to use Materia and no one in their ranks, besides Sephiroth of course, because Sephiroth was perfect, could use it with any kind of finesse.

So, he became a SOLDIER but he didn’t allow them to keep him as a lowly third, oh no. If he was going to be one of them then he was going to be the best, no matter who he had to tear down to get the results he desired. This was a bit familiar to him, being put into a position he hadn’t wanted but choosing to excel in it anyway, he didn’t focus on the feeling too often though.

At least, not until after his first Second-Class injections when he started to have odd dreams about people and places he didn’t recognize. He should have told someone about the terrifyingly realistic dreams, but enough people had already disappeared within Shinra’s ranks for him to know that that was a bad idea. He really wasn’t interested in being ‘transferred’.

He could deal with the dreams and the ever-increasing feeling that they weren’t actually products of his imagination, he just had to figure out who the young man that frequented them was and why he was important.

Cloud had been dreaming of another life for as long as he could remember, though he would have preferred not to; Nibelheim had no place for dreamers and he stood out enough with the added label. His Ma didn’t like hearing about them either, so he knew not to bring the dreams up around her, keeping quiet even when they scared him.

And some did scare him, especially the ones where people who used to be friends turned against him and the ones where he and someone who looked like him killed each other. The battles also left him panting in his bed, jerked from his sleep and unable to return to slumber.

There were some nice ones though, they all centred around a man that was always trying to help him to better himself and learn what he needed to. He liked the man, he didn’t seem to change at all and was really good at magic. The wizard was really nice to Cloud, even though he didn’t have a reason to be.

As he continued to grow, the dreams shifted to battles with strangers and battles with friends and one in particular featured the wizard guiding him towards a sword buried in a stone, telling him that it was his destiny and that things would be fine. Things had taken a turn for the worst afterwards when people got angry at what him pulling the sword from the rock meant.

He’d taken to ignoring them for the most part, barely giving the dreams a moment’s thought before going on with his days. But they lingered at the back of his mind, forcing themselves to the forefront of his thoughts as grey days passed in an endless cycle.

He had thought, more like hoped, that leaving Nibelheim would put a stop to the dreams, that breaking the monotonous cycle of his day-to-day life would put a stop to him dreaming about a life where he’s important and does all these fantastical, important things. He knows that he’s not an important person, he’s just another bastard from the Nibel mountains, there’s a million-other people more important than himself; like Sephiroth and the rest of the SOLDIER program.

Maybe that’s why he was so focused on trying to join SOLDIER, wanting to prove to himself that he could be an important person if he worked hard enough, that he could achieve something close to what he’d been dreaming about for as long as he could remember.

It was a heart-crushing day when he received the news that he would never qualify for SOLDIER, that his own body was stopping him from achieving what he wanted.

He joined Shinra’s infantry because he had no other plans; there weren’t many skills that were equally as necessary here in Midgar as they had been home in Nibelheim, so his options were more than limited if he wanted to stay in Midgar.

Genesis eyes focused on the cadet the moment he appeared in his line of sight, zeroing in and remaining fixed on him as they observed the hopefuls from the observation deck above them. He was small, blond and achingly familiar to him, though he couldn’t figure out how he was.

“There’s easier ways to murder someone than with your eyes,” Angeal said next to him, sounding concerned despite the light nature of his words.

“Hmm?” He hummed softly, dragging his attention away from the cadet to his friend. Angeal was watching him closely, probably thinking that he was going to throw a fireball down at the cadets without reason; not that he would, that was simply a reputation that he’d earned. “He looks familiar.”

“I think he’s one of Shinra’s,” Angeal suggested, shifting to consider the cadet himself. “He looks a bit like Rufus and Lazard.”

“You’re probably right,” he said, though he knew that that wasn’t why the cadet was familiar to him, nor did it explain the odd emotions that attempted to rise within him at the sight of the boy struggling as he was, or the knowledge that he wasn’t using the right weapon. “He doesn’t appear to be doing very well.”

“No,” Angeal agreed, turning his attention back to the rest of the class, to those more likely to be joining them at the end of the Program. “He’s not.”

Genesis should have followed Angeal’s lead and dismissed the small cadet, but he couldn’t bring himself to, eyes remaining focused on the boy’s form as the lesson progressed without any kind of assistance being offered to him. Genesis was glad, for some reason, to note that the cadet managed to lift the sword and hold it in a proper stance by the end though.

He was doomed to fail, but the cadet seemed determined not to waste his time while he was there. Something in Genesis was very happy to see that.

Cloud’s dreams lessened after he joined Shinra, probably due to the fact that he was exhausted at the end of each day and slept like the dead for hours straight. But he couldn’t deny that he wasn’t still getting the odd feeling that something was off or that he’d done something similar before, though he knew that he hadn’t.

Most days he could ignore the odd feelings that plagued him, but the day he saw Commander Rhapsodos for the first time they completely overwhelmed him.

The man was so familiar; despite knowing that he’d never even seen the outside of promotional photos for SOLDIER, Cloud felt like he was seeing a very dear, old friend for the first time in years, this was weirder for him due to the fact that he’d never really had a friend before.

The Commander was talking to another SOLDIER, a Second-Class, Cloud thought, and it was obvious from the expression on his face that the other was irritating him. The furrow of his brow told Cloud that he was reaching the end of his patience and it would be a good idea to avoid the other for a while.

But how did he know that? How did he know that the Commander couldn’t stand idiots or people who didn’t listen to the advice they asked him for? He shouldn’t, it didn’t make sense that he did.

He forced himself back to reality, pushing the thoughts away from his mind. The Commander had long disappeared from the corridor Cloud was supposed to be guarding.

He probably hadn’t even noticed, or cared, about Cloud’s reaction. Not that he blamed the man, Cloud wasn’t anything special after all.

Learning that the dreams and feelings he’d had all his life actually meant something, was a relief to Genesis. If only it had occurred when he wasn’t dying deep in the mines under the burned ruins of his once home, then he might have been able to do something with it.

But, oh, She was indeed a cruel mistress. Finally answering the questions he’d asked for years, but only after he’d destroyed everything he’d ever cared about or earned through the course of his life. Why would it be anything different?

Not to mention that his King, his dear, precious chosen child, was seated next to him, dying himself. Oh, how cruel of Her to reveal everything to him with his King so close to him.

But, he supposed, that if he had to go once again then this was as good as a way than any. And at the very least he wasn’t dying alone in a dark cell, no, this time he had the honour of dying somewhere peaceful, with his King close to his side.

While he might have wished for more time to learn the man his King was now, he supposed that taking the kindness offered to him wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to him.

And, since they’d gotten this second chance at life, then who was to say that they wouldn’t get a third?

When Cloud woke up in Aerith’s Church, after the final two of Sephiroth’s remnants had tried to take him with them as they died, it was with a whole other life-time’s worth of memories just there, in his head. The sensation was similar to the one he had experienced when he had fallen into the Lifestream and had to build himself back up to something resembling a person, but a thousand times worse.

It was not an experience he ever wanted to have again, ever. It was terrible and more than a little disconcerting, especially the part where he remembered how he had died in his previous life. Needless to say, he was completely ruined on the concept of children after that.

He was also more than a little pissed at the fact that First Tsurugi was apparently his Excalibur now Apparently, a number of swords forged from the corpses of the WEAPONS counted as an ancient magical weapon of unseen power and potential, but really what kind of test was killing the Planet’s defence mechanisms as they tried to destroy civilisation as they knew it? A stupid one if you asked Cloud, not that anyone would know to.

But the worst part, the absolute worst part, were all new emotions that came with the new set of memories; all of them centralizing around the man that Cloud recognized as being extremely similar to Commander Rhapsodos. The man who was apparently something along the lines of an advisor and confidant, as well as someone he’d held more than platonic feelings towards before he gave up his own happiness for the benefit of his people.

They’d both been pretty pissed by that decision, but the other had forced him to go through with it despite how much he wanted to do otherwise; stupid idiot wizard, only wanting what was best for Cloud and the kingdom.

If he ever saw the other again then he was going to punch him.

When he awoke after his long sleep in Deepground, the world was very different from what it was when he had gone to sleep. For one, Midgar was completely destroyed and left as little more than ruins and broken buildings.

He didn’t actually have a plan of what he wanted to do now that he was out, everyone he cared about was dead and he didn’t have anything to focus his attention on. He could seek out his King if he wanted though he was probably dead, then again, he was supposed to be dead and he wasn’t so there was an equal chance that his King wasn’t either.

Eventually he decided to go to ground in the old theatre, wanting to have a definitive base of operations while he was figuring out what to do with himself.

He wasn’t expecting anyone to barge in on him in the theatre, so seeing his King alive and well in the doorway was a bit of a shock. Being punched by the young man was even more surprising and hurt quite the bit.

“I suppose I deserved that, Majesty,” Genesis breathed, hand resting against his jaw. The other certainly hadn’t bothered to pull his punch, something he was proud of.

“Don’t call me that,” the other shot at him, fist still clenched by his side. “My name’s Cloud. That’s it.”

“Don’t want anything to do with who you used to be?” Genesis asked, watching Cloud relax his fist. “All those accomplishments we worked towards?”

“I can’t look at my friend’s kids without almost freaking out,” Cloud stated blandly, glaring at him with glowing blue eyes. “I need to focus on this life, it’s what I have.”

“I suppose that means you don’t want anything to do with me, then?”

“No, you’re coming with me.” Cloud said, surprising him. “You might try to destroy the world if your left alone.”

“Such high praise,” Genesis breathed, deciding it in his best interest to go with the other. It would at least provide him with the chance to sleep in an actual house for a while. “It would be rude to turn down such a generous offer.”

Cloud nodded at his words before striding forward towards him, causing Genesis to flinch, expecting another blow from the other man. Instead the young man took a tight hold of his tattered jacket and pulled him down towards him, capturing his lips roughly in his own.

To say that Genesis was shocked was an understatement.

Cloud released him soon after, before he could do anything to reciprocate the kiss, leaving him standing stunned, mind struggling to comprehend what had just occurred.

“Come on, Rhapsodos.” Cloud called over his shoulder, already walking away from him towards the exit. “It’s a long way to edge.”

Perhaps, he could have his happy ending with his King afterall.