#merchant suspension

[tuhinhasan]

Fix Google Merchant Center Suspension

Google Merchant Center Suspension and Misrepresentation

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[saltyoaktree]

I have complicated feelings about pirate aus because on paper its a great concept but also the history of piracy can't be separated from the slave trade so

[sabjolelectronics]

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[googleadsexperts]

Tips for Resolving Google Merchant Center Suspension and Keeping Your Business Running Smoothly

Google Merchant Center is an essential tool for online retailers who want to sell their products through Google Shopping. It allows sellers to upload their product data to Google, which can then be used to show their products in search results and on the Google Shopping tab. However, Google Merchant Center can sometimes suspend an account, which can be a major setback for any business that relies on online sales. In this article, we'll discuss some tips for resolving a Google Merchant Center suspension and keeping your business running smoothly.

Why is your Google Merchant Center account suspended?

There are many reasons why your Google Merchant Center account might be suspended. Some of the most common reasons include:

Violating Google's policies: Google has strict policies regarding what kinds of products can be sold through Google Shopping. If you are selling products that violate these policies, your account may be suspended. Data quality issues: Your product data must be accurate and up-to-date in order to be listed on Google Shopping. If your data quality is poor, your account may be suspended. Payment issues: If you owe money to Google for advertising or other services, your account may be suspended until you pay your balance. Tips for resolving a Google Merchant Center suspension

If your Google Merchant Center account has been suspended, don't panic. There are several steps you can take to resolve the issue and get your account back up and running.

Review Google's policies The first step in resolving a Google Merchant Center suspension is to review Google's policies to determine if you are violating any of them. Make sure that you are not selling any prohibited products, such as counterfeit goods, dangerous or illegal products, or products that are not allowed in certain countries. You should also review Google's data quality guidelines to ensure that your product data is accurate and up-to-date.

Fix any data quality issues If your account has been suspended due to data quality issues, you'll need to fix those issues in order to get your account reinstated. Make sure that your product data is accurate and up-to-date, and that you are providing complete and detailed information about your products. You should also review your images to ensure that they meet Google's image requirements.

Pay any outstanding balances If your account has been suspended due to payment issues, you'll need to pay any outstanding balances in order to get your account reinstated. You can do this by logging into your Google Ads account and making a payment.

Submit an appeal If you believe that your account has been suspended in error, you can submit an appeal to Google. In your appeal, explain why you believe your account should be reinstated and provide any supporting documentation that you have. Make sure that your appeal is concise and to the point.

Monitor your account Once your account has been reinstated, it's important to monitor it closely to ensure that it remains in good standing. Make sure that you are following Google's policies and guidelines, and that your product data is accurate and up-to-date. If you notice any issues, address them promptly to prevent your account from being suspended again.

In conclusion, a Google Merchant Center suspension can be a major setback for any business that relies on online sales. However, by following the tips outlined in this article, you can resolve the issue and get your account back up and running. Remember to review Google's policies and guidelines, fix any data quality issues, pay any outstanding balances, submit an appeal if necessary, and monitor your account closely to ensure that it remains in good standing.

[thebisexualwreckoning]

Armand's backstory and how I, your local bengali vampire fucker and armand's 24/7 defence lawyer, am going to make him bengali and muslim while still keeping it showcannon accurate

(Note: this is not meant to be taken seriously and is very much just written because I was bored and had time on my hands and if i have gotten anything wrong please correct me)

One thing that always annoyed me about IWTV showcannon is the fact that armand pre-marius days were either left majorly unexplored or made absolutely no sense to the time period. Which, I find pretty surprising considering the care and sensitivity Louis' new backstory was handled with by the same creators and show writers.

We know 3 things about Armand and who he is as a character in regards to his ethnicity:

His birth is Arun

He is Muslim

And that he was taken from Delhi somewhere around the early 15th century

For the purposes of this essay, we are going to assume all of this is true and not something Armand made up to get sympathy from both Louis and the audience.

Armand's birth name being Arun, while incredibly lazy, does make his identity as a bengali man much easier to confirm. My own full blooded formerly bangladeshi grandfather has the name Arun and Arun continues to be an incredibly popular bengali name for boys to this day. The problem arises when it comes to his religion.

The thing about the name Arun is that it's an incredibly *Hindu* first name, given that it is quite literally one of the names for the Hindu god of the sun (Source: I'm Hindu and confirmed with my mom who is sitting beside me scrolling on facebook). While muslim people can have the name Arun, given that Bengal was still an independent kingdom around the time which Armand would have been born in, his parents being hindu would have been likely.

However, around a similar time, the Mughals were setting up shop in, you guessed it, delhi and the surrounding region. Now, my proposal is as such: During the same time period, many parents sold their children to zamindars (land owners) for money or food or land. Young Arun's parents did the same thing. Now, this zamindar either sells armand to someone else immediately after who takes him delhi or takes young arun to delhi himself where he either sets up shop with him or once again sells arun to someone else.

Seperated from his parents and newly immigrated indenture (because yes, mughal era punjab and bengal were different kingdoms and as such this would count as immigration) to a kingdom which had just gone through a major political upheaval and had a new ruler forcibly converting people to islam, arun, who has no ties to hinduism given that a. he is a child and b. his hindu parents very much just sold him into slavery, converts to islam as well as a safety tactic.

Thus child arun grows into teen arun and he has never known anything of his life before delhi but those first few years that he spent in bengal and has definitely had no contact with hinduism and has been a devout muslim for the vast majority of his life. Here is where things get a bit iffy. There are two ways how the rest of this can now go.

Route no. 1, armand's indenture is sold to the portuguese, the portuguese take him to europe, marius buys him, everything proceeds as it must.

Route no. 2, the overly complicated, book and show canon accurate version which requires some significant suspension of disbelief and handwaving to accomplish but i like it so i'm still writing down this crack theory. Also we're doing this in dot points now because i'm getting tired:

We know armand speaks crimean because daniel mentions it after he catches fake rashid praying

crimea was part of the ottoman empire during this time period.

the ottoman empire had relatively friendly relations with the mughals because they were afraid of babur.

crimean ottoman merchants buy armand's indenture

armand ends up in crimea

crimea and kievan rus, book armand's original homeland's complex relation means armand ends up in kievan rus.

Things proceed as they did in the books for how armand goes from kievan rus to under marius's hold

and that's all i have, this has been your local crack theorist on tonight's armand show. see you next time.

[rivilu]

Just got the missive too. Stop trying to make me buy it I'm not going to buy it!

Yeah girl I'm sorry I'm not buying that shit

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! Could you please give your insights on why all of the students speak Japanese? Is it a universal language, like English, where the majority of people are taught it or is it through magic? I know it’s probably because the author is Japanese and that why her work(s) are also in said language but it’s more fun to think of nuanced reasons.

Irl meta reasoning aside, the light novel mentions that there is a translation spell over NRC. Because of that, Yuuya (the LN Yuu), who hails from Japan, is able to hear whatever the characters are saying as his native language, Japanese. (This doesn’t account for why Yuu in-game travels to places beyond NRC and can still understand what is being said 💦 unless we assume the translation spell is just cast on Yuuya?? This is a plothole that has yet to be addressed.)

I assume that Twisted Wonderland does have a universal language though, as we hear locals in other areas speaking in other languages like “French” in Fleur City, for example but knowing “English” or a more common tongue for business purposes. (I used quotation marks there because obviously these languages would not be called “French” and “English” in Twisted Wonderland since places like “France” and “England” do not exist. “French” and “English” are Twisted Wonderland’s equivalents of these languages in Yuu’s world.) Epel’s grandma and mayor mention switching from their Harveston dialect to a more common variant when they do business with a nearby city. It’s also implied to be the case for the many merchants elsewhere, like Silk City.

The only instance where magic is infused into language is to “translate” among fae, as nocturnal fae (like those in Diasomnia) and diurnal fae (like pixies) speak entirely different tongues. Lilia mentions imbuing magic into one’s voice to make oneself easily understandable to other fae. In Fairy Gala, we also see that it is possible to use a translation bell (made by Crafting Pixies) to perform the same task. Just holding it will allow you to understand pixies.

Remember that 90% of the human population is not capable of using magic, so to rely on magic for a universal language is impractical. The fact that we’ve seen mainly fae + NRC (an elite school for training mages) use magic for language implies to me that it’s a more complex magic that not everyone is capable of or has access to.

So back to the original question; if we assume the light novel’s lore is also true for the game, it is because NRC’s translation magic is doing the work for Yuu and taking whatever is actually being spoken and converting it into Japanese for their ears. At the same time, it’a likely that Twisted Wonderland has its own common tongue similar to English irl. Again though, the simpler explanation is to make things easier for the writers. No point in them getting hung up on the little details, just accept suspension of disbelief!

[whencyclopedia]

Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849) was an American author and poet, often credited as the father of the short story, a pioneer of science fiction, the inventor of the detective story, and the master of the horror genre. He is best known for his poems The Raven, Annabel Lee, and Helen, the short stories The Fall of the House of Usher, The Cask of Amontillado, and The Masque of Red Death; and the detective story The Purloined Letter.

Poe was one of the most influential writers in his own time as well as generations later. Robert Mead in his Literature of the American Nation wrote that Poe's stories, poems and essays, "convey the conviction of intensity felt experience, the authority of extraordinary intelligence. That was Poe's genius" (71). One of his best themes is the difficulty of establishing a discrete limit between the living and the dead, the exploration of the border between things that one may wish to remain separate: life from death, the human from the animal, and the real from the imaginary.

Although Poe was a brilliant writer, his life was one of poverty and misery, and his short stories and poems reflect the deep sense of loss Poe experienced throughout his life. Charlotte Montagne in her book on Poe called him a giant of American literature "but his life was a disaster, a tale of unremitting misery, constant poverty and repented frustration and disappointment" (Intro). He was the first American writer to try to support his family through his writing. Unfortunately, he failed. While he may have lived in poverty, he changed American literature forever. Despite his tragic death at the age of 40, he left behind over 70 macabre stories, poems, and one novel "filled with suspense and brilliantly twisted plots." (Montagne, Intro)

Early Life

Edgar Allan Poe was born on 19 January 1809 in a boarding house near the Boston Commons in Boston, Massachusetts. Mead wrote that, from the beginning, his life seemed destined for destruction. Both of his parents were actors, not a respectable occupation at the time. His father, David Poe, Jr. (1784-1811) was a member of the Boston Thespian Group. He proved to be a major disappointment to his parents, who wanted him to become a lawyer. He and Elizabeth (Eliza) Arnold Hopkins, an expatriate English actress, met in Norfolk, Virginia, and were soon married. She was a widow. Her husband Charles Hopkins had died six months earlier. Poe's brother William Henry was born nine months later in 1807; he would die in 1831 of tuberculosis.

David and Eliza traveled the theater circuit up and down the East Coast leaving young Poe and his sister Rosalie (1810-1874) with David's parents David Sr. and Elizabeth in Baltimore. By 1811, David had abandoned his family. Never getting any respect for his acting ability, his stage career had stalled owing to his heavy drinking. He died in December of 1811 in Norfolk. Considered a talented actress by most reviewers, Eliza became ill with tuberculosis and died at the age of 24 on 8 December 1811. The young couple died within three days of each other.

Although he was only two years old, with little memory of his father, many believe Poe inherited his father's character and bad habits. Since his grandparents were financially unable to care for Poe and his little sister, Rosalie was adopted by the Richmond merchant William Mackenzie. Although never formally adopted, Poe was taken in by John Allan, a tobacco merchant and his wife Frances. Poe was given Allan as his middle name. John was said to be impulsive and quick-tempered, but Poe wanted for nothing. He was encouraged and given opportunities to indulge in his literary pursuits. He had the unique ability at a young age to memorize and recite long passages of poetry.

Continue reading...

[nuttersinc]

So, thoughts on a five days Captive Prince marathon reading:

The writing: I hadn't picked this up because I'm not that much into slave fic, but I read some quotes last week and thought: this sounds so good and the writing is brilliant... Let's have a look. Hooked after 1 page, I think. The writing is masterful. Both lush and sparse, light and dense. Achingly beautiful, then simplistic.

What's it about: Starts out like slave fic - Prince gets sold into slavery to the enemy court to serve as bedslave to the enemy Prince - but veers off into a highly convoluted political conspiracy with a million twists and turns. Keeps you entertained until the suspenseful end.

Damen, our hero and POV: at first you think he's a himbo - broad shouldered, strong and tall, very physical with an animal intelligence about him, but if Laurent wasn't there to be the cleverest person in the room, he would be. Strong sense of duty and loyalty and what is right (in his society's limitations), fiercely protective. Tends to mindlessly shed blood if someone he cares about is threatened.

Laurent, the enemy Prince, whose uncle is regent: Laurent is cruel and seems cold hearted. He's a manipulative bitch, and he's always - with one notable acception - the most clever and cunning person in the room. He's a survivor and he does everything it takes. He's usually a step ahead of everyone, planning for contingencies. He's also sassy and talks like he was raised in a brothel, even though he takes noone to his bed. Contrary to Damen who is a fighter with honour, Laurent fights dirty. He's a perfect parcel of deadly and cute.

Some things that I had massive feels about: (Spoilers ahead!!!!)

* the reveal that Laurent knew he was Damianos all along. I squealed. (I mean, he nearly had him flogged to death, and at some point early you realise that Laurent is usually cruel with intention, not with sadism)

* their little adventure in the inn: their roles reversed, Laurent as the pleasure slave, Laurent's helpless giggling as they are pressed up against each other on the balcony, nearly detected, Damen overwhelmed and confused by Laurent's body shaking against him

* all the times Damen stayed, after he realised what was really going on in Vere

* Jokaste and Laurent trying to out bitch each other and being severely unpleasant towards each other

* the renowned veretian cloth merchant imposter thing - fucking hilarious.

* Laurent appointing Damen his captain

* Damen making sure nobody disturbs Laurent when he's in a mood

*Damen being a bitch about being interrupted kissing Laurent, even as they take him away

* Laurent, all hot and bothered, when Damen returns victorious from naked oil wrestling

* Damen, all hot and bothered, when he sees Laurent in a chiton for the first time

* Laurent's smile the morning after

* Damen's smile the morning after Laurent drinks to win over Makedon...

* all the fights and all the softness. Their camraderie 😥😁😍

* so much more, will add later...

[wuxiaphoenix]

On Writing: Handicaps

If you give a character a handicap, be consistent. Odds are, a blind character is not going to know the color of the car that hit them. A character who’s lost their sense of smell to Covid may think they’ve run into fog, until their eyes start stinging and they hear the crackle of flames. A lame character is not going to be running from zombies - or if they are, they’re going to pay for it later, in extreme pain at the very least. No amount of Heroic Willpower gets you past muscles and tendons shredded and gone. The body is a physical thing, and has physical limits.

The same goes for mental handicaps. You can form habits to get around some weak spots. You can find ways to jury-rig some responses and reactions other people take for granted. In some cases there are medicines that can help with faulty brain chemistry. Sometimes.

But if, for example, you’re autistic, not all the will in the world can rev your mirror neurons up to speed so you automatically smile back when someone smiles at you. There’s always that mental hitch of, “What am I supposed to be-? Oh, right. Move the lips, open the eyes more, ow that’s bright....”

Meaning the expression on some level looks calculated and false. And that does an already shaky social situation no good whatsoever.

Yes, I’m mentioning this on purpose. I had to dump a Kindle sample the other day before I walled it. A Regency romance where the heroine is supposed to be, from our modern perspective, autistic; though at the time such a person would have instead been thought of as odd, eccentric, willful, or fey. Fine. But what the author had the character doing, and unable to do, spoke of a lack of research into both autism and Regency society. The combo snapped suspension of disbelief like an elephant trying to bungee-jump.

Things the character is shown as having a problem with: Dancing. Knowing when to speak and what to say to people. Keeping paint off her fingers from her paintings. Sometimes fiddling with a bracelet.

Things she is not shown having any problem with: Lights, sudden noises, crowds, odd food textures, remembering faces....

(Not all autistics are face-blind. But it is very, very common.)

Here’s where what I know about autism and the Regency social game intersects, painfully. The heroine’s mother is a wealthy would-be social climber whose silk merchant husband has a knighthood; an honorable title, but not an inherited one. She wants her daughters to marry well, and that means a lot more than just dressing them in silk and shoving them at the nearest Social Occasion. They need accomplishments. Their jobs as wives are not to merely spend money and look pretty. They have to organize households, hire and fire servants, make social connections, arrange Events, perform at said Events, and know how to both pick good performers and carefully work around the limitations of bad ones, so you never offend your guests. Accidentally, at least.

They need to know about, and if possible be able to do, things like embroider, sing, dance, and yes, paint. Aspiring parents would get their daughters not just manuals on what is the Proper Thing To Say on every occasion (such manuals existed!), but tutors for all of these. One good dance-master would have drilled the heroine in what each dance is, and how to do them by rote. One afternoon with a painting instructor would have covered, wear some work gloves just for painting, so you never stain your dress gloves. These are solvable problems.

Trying to figure out who you need to give the cut direct and who you must flatter when you are very bad with faces and all of them have a new outfit almost every night? That is a potential social catastrophe, and could let a writer get in all kinds of drama and tension as our heroine puts schemes into motion to try and keep track of who’s who and why it matters. It would be a major part of the plot.

...Because in real life, handicaps affect how you have to scramble over hurdles everyone else sails over without even noticing. That’s why they’re called handicaps.

Don’t shortchange your characters’ grit or intelligence. Show the readers how they do it!

[smuttyaf]

SouthSide Serpent

Word Count: 4.8k

Rating: R

features; childhood friends to lovers, loverboy ashton, literally ashton has been pining for y/n, & sum good old smut :)

a/n: idek what to say but hi! i’ve been in retirement for like 4 years and rediscovered this account. i got nostalgic & decided… shit why not write again?

please cut me sum slack tho! i wrote this on my notes app & it’s been years since i’ve written so i would love to hear feedback!

& yes i am hella descriptive and like to build suspense! i can’t help it >.<

also! y/n is heavily based on serena from mtv downtown ( i love her ) & this picture of ashton ( xx )

-

The crisp October breeze blew through your hair as the dull taste of your cigarette burns on your tongue; your forefinger and middle finger clenching the nicotine filled paper and pressing it against your lips, drawing in the vapour.

Your head nods along to the music playing before you just two doors down on the opposite side of your street. There was Ashton and his band, either playing covers of their current favourite songs, oldies, or new ones that they’ve all come together and created.

The usual guitar flow and drum beat of Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs blasted through the speakers in the garage as the sound of Luke’s voice sang along on top of the tune.

You hum along to the lyrics as you glared in the direction, your lips peeling away from the filter and letting the smoke settle in your lungs before releasing it. The four boys were all dressed in their usual attire: white shirt, black trousers, beat up old chunky Doc Martins, and their signature SouthSide Serpents leather jackets.

As the wind picks up again you let your free hand tear away from your windowsill and tug the flying strays of your hair in front of your face behind your ear, the chipped black polish on your almond nails coming into view as you remind yourself you needed to get them done.

The bridge of the song is now blaring down the street, causing you to raise your cigarette back to your lips and think to yourself, what a coincidence this song is playing; the lyrics, the time frame, and the memories that all come flowing back as you hear the familiar melody.

It was 2009 and Ashton had invited you over during Christmas break to play Garage Band since Santa gifted it to him because that was the only thing he asked for on his wish list. You were both 8, banging on the drums and singing songs that you both were too young to know or remember from when your parents would play them on the drive home from school. But, for some reason this is the song that stuck with you both the most. Maybe it was the easy lyrics or the amazing beat but from then on it had you hooked to this alternative sound.

Now fast forward to a year ago, your now ex boyfriend Xavier was laying on your bed, finger pads heavy weight on your skin as he drew sloppy hearts on your hip. The wire of the headphones tangled between your shoulder and his wrist as you both listened to his playlist. The familiar intro notes to the song beginning to ring throughout the buds and the tug of your maroon lined lips turn into a smile.

“Already like the song?” He asked, brown eyes rested on top of dark circles scattered with freckles as he smirked down at you.

“I love it.” You sheepishly said.

The wind knocks you back into reality as it pushes through your window again, only making you remember how much you loved October; the weather changing, leaves blooming, smell of the rain just before it hit the concrete, the sound of the leaves dragging along the pavement, and the endless horror movie marathons that would run on AMC.

The orange, brown, and green leaves spin in the breeze and rustle along the branches as the sun stood brightly among the houses along the horizon. From your view on the windowsill you can see houses upon houses before you see the local water tower and old plazas that scream they need new merchant signs and fresh cement.

Your eyes flick to the lonesome string popping out of your black long sleeve before the sound of your phone’s text tone goes off, your eyes darting to the message running across the screen.

Stop watching me

Ashton’s text read, making you roll your eyes before placing them on the dark hair boy who had a goofy grin on his face from your view, his drum sticks were stuffed in one had and the other held his lit up phone.

With a smile on yours, you let the hand that rested in the crook of your neck tear away from the warm flesh and your middle finger stand in the air as a response.

-

Clothes were thrown in every direction of your room as you let your eyes drag along your frame in the mirror, your loose knitted black sweater hung off one of your shoulders as low waisted charcoal jogging pants rested on your hips. Your hair was in its loose waves as your curtain bangs swept against your temples, your fingers curling into themselves in frustration as you tried to not stress over how you look.

You didn’t want to over enhance your appearance to see Xavier since he wanted to meet up to get “closure” -even though he was the one who called it off despite your many pleas- but you wanted to make him feel bad for even deciding to drop you.

A frustrated sigh left your wine stained lips before turning around and sticking your feet into your ruined Converse. The low muffled sound of Xavier’s Prelude is heard out your window and you feel your heart drop.

You never understood why you always felt this way about him and why you couldn’t just get over this stupid boy who likes to break up with you every other month, a new reason every single time. The constant tears, text threads, and blocking to unblocking seemed to never get exhausting to you because you were always back in the same place, wondering if you overdressed to see your ex for closure.

The chime of Xavier’s specific text tone rings through your room and you already know what it says, so without checking you twisted your foot into your shoe to fit perfectly before you reach over and grasp your phone in your hand and tug your way to the window sill. Fingers pressing the frame up and letting the fall air sweep into your room before crouching down and fitting yourself through the frame and safely scale down the roof, onto the sturdy vine wall filled with dead clematis that prickled on your palms the way down before your feet landed on the short cut grass.

As you turned away from the wall and begin tugging your feet towards the black coupe, your eyes catch on the tall frame standing on their front step as an amber light glows slightly illuminating his face. You already know this is Ashton, so with a slight smile you let your index finger rest against your coated lips, a gesture to him to be quiet.

The only response he gives is his head nodding off to the side with smoke trailing out of his mouth.

The smile quickly falls as your fingers clench the car door handle and tug it open, the smell of him crashing down on you as you sit in the familiar leather, the hum of the engine vibrating under you as the car peels off.

~

The tinge of tequila burned on your buds as you felt the room spinning, the sound of chatter and shouts are heard from below you as the bass of Destroy Lonely’s song can be heard in the room you barged into when you gave up on waiting for Tabitha; who said she wouldn’t be long with the curly haired new kid in her history class.

Red solo cup was loosely clenched in your right hand as left was lazily running through your hair at random moments as you laid against the cottage floral bed sheets.

Here you were, back in the same spot you always found yourself in: drunk, heartbroken, and thinking about a boy who doesn’t even care about you. The constant routine of wanting him, then wanting to be far away but craving him every other second burned into your heart. The comfort and familiarity of him that you missed always overlooked every excuse he gave you whenever he broke things off.

Last month he said he needed time to himself, this month he told you that he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted; frankly he lost feelings for you, at least that was what he says now. Those words kept on replaying in your mind as if that was your favourite song. The way he sounded emotionless yet unsure that, that was what he really wanted.

And just with those thoughts, tears were flowing down your temples. Eyes blurring as the voice replayed in your head, the memory of him sitting beside you and saying that, to then recollect memories of how sweet and endearing the boy you loved in the beginning grew cold to your touch and looked into your hopeful eyes with detached ones.

The popcorn ceiling was fuzzy in your sight as the tears spill over your waterline and beads down the sides of your face. You already knew your cheeks were heated up, the liner and eyeshadow that was occupying your bottom lashes was smudged and probably slipping away with the liquid as a sniffle wrinkled through your nose.

God you hated this; the empty feeling of missing someone who you know you shouldn’t want but yet crave so badly. Why him? Why you?

As you were deep in thought you hear the rustle of the door knob before it turns and the music that pours from outside reaches into the empty depths of the room, the sound of footsteps halting and a sharp intake of breath being heard, but you don’t dare look away at the ceiling. Frankly, you could care less about who sees you crying your eyes out on this outdated duvet with ruined make up.

“Fuck my bad!… Wait Y/N?” The recognizable voice of your childhood friend is heard before the door is closing shut.

The weight of him sinks next to you on the bed as you let your eyes close and the final stream of tears leave your eyes.

“I look desperate don’t I.” You state, voice raspy from the strain in your throat as the usual feeling of a ball is formed.

“I think you look sad,” He points out, making you snort as the hand that was lazily playing in your hair tears away and feels the sheet below you.

“No shit,” You mumble before letting your eyes peel open.

“You and Xavier broke up again?” Ashton questions, the sound of his zippers clashing from his jacket as he shuffles around.

You only hum in response before you let both of your arms sit you up on the bed, your back standing straight as your hands cradle the solo cup. Your eyes stare down at your ruined pantyhose beneath your mini lace black skirt before they flicker to look at the hazel boy.

Eyes connecting with yours, you hear his breath hitch as he draws in your appearance. Cheeks with a glow of cherry red sweeping the bones under your eyes that are damp with black eyeshadow, your eyes were still puffy and red rimmed as they batted slowly up at him.

“He doesn’t know what he wants,” You let out, your eyes rolling before letting your plum coloured lips take a sip of the warm mixture of Pepsi and tequila.

“Oh?” He says in confusion, bushy eyebrows coming together trying to figure out how that could be since he saw you two together three nights ago.

“I’m so sick of being with these screwed up guys all the time,” You state, hand tearing away from the cup to dig your nails into the rips of your stockings.

“Really?”

“I have such crummy luck or taste? What is it with girls like me? All a guy has to say is, he can’t express his feelings or he listens to Deftones and it’s like my head tips right over and my brain start to slip out of my ear.”

Ashton lets out laugh, the beer bottle he’s holding by the neck resting on his knee as he stares down at you. “So which one is Xavier?”

“Both,” You scoff while sticking out your tongue in disgust.

“You know… if you wanted to, I’m sure you could have a different great guy to go out with every night,” Ashton assures, a smirk tugging on your lips as you decide to ignore the glint of promise in his eyes.

“No way, I’ve always been a mess. Remember Cleo?” Your second boyfriend that seemed to be stuck on your hip but ironically found someway to cheat on you every weekend yet you still dumbly went back to him every. single. time.

The feeling of your sheer button up rubs against your arm as you let your hand fall against your hip and feel your black crop top tight to your skin.

“Maybe you just need to talk to someone who isn’t your usual type,” Ashton points out. Your head nods a few beats as your thick wedged heeled boots run over the wooden flooring.

“Maybe I’ll be luckier if I tried dating someone nice for a change,” Voice hopeful as your eyes dart away from the bubbly dark liquid into Ashton’s brown hues.

“Nice guys,” Ashton says with a smile, both of his hands tearing away from his knees as if to gesture to himself in this equation.

A laugh escapes your lips before your eyes run over Ashton’s frame from head to toe.

“What are you getting at Irwin?” You say with a pointed brow, playing stupid to the implication.

“Oh nothing..” He sings while tearing his eyes from yours, toothy smile still spread on his lips before he takes a swing of his beer.

You shake your head with annoyance before your hazy eyes look down at your lap, your hands resting on the cup and drumming a random tune.

“Honestly Y/N… I think you’re a really great girl and…. I just think maybe…” His words a scrambled mess and trailing off. You smile to yourself before turning to look back at him.

“Mm?” You question, the fifteen percent liquor coursing through your bloodstream and giving you confidence as you lean into this chest, eyes never tearing away from his. Because if Ashton was going to give you hopeful eyes and stuttering speeches you might as well put the ‘nice guy’ to the test and see if he was really about what he said.

That only made his lips break into a smirk, his tongue sneakily gladding along his bottom lip to wet it before looking into you daringly.

That only made you squish your plucked eyebrows together in question. How did the stuttering boy from just a view seconds ago all of a sudden turn cocky and confident? How many drinks did he have? Or was it the weed that clung to his jacket that gave him the boost.

“I think you should give me a chance,” He nips back, and before you can even respond to him, you watch his neck crane down and press his lips against yours.

The crisp taste of his beer stung your lips as they opened and immediately danced along with his tongue. White liquor and brown meeting together to taste each other and leave an acquired flavour in your mouths.

You hummed along to the feeling of his tongue circling against yours before peeling away and molding your lips to sink against each other. Your heart was beating through your chest, nails now digging into your plastic cup and head ducked back as you continue to press your mouth against his.

The feeling of his cold hand pressing against your neck caused you to shudder and tear away from his lips for a second, your eyes peeling open as they look in front of you. Black hair loosely falling on his forehead, the smell of his husky cologne clogging your senses, and the feeling of his fingers now dancing along the back of your neck.

“What are we doing Ash?” You breathe against his lips.

“Something that I’ve always wanted to do,” He says, making your heart launch. You bite down on your bruised lip and tear your eyes away from his, your stomach twist as you try and gain some self control as you almost fling yourself on top of him.

Something that he always wanted to do? You never really found yourself desirable to the point we’re men would see you in that type of light? But maybe what Ash said was just a simple lie, just so he can get what he wants and frankly you don’t even care. You’ve heard lies your whole entire life when it came to boys and this wasn’t any different, maybe you should just let your mind shut off from your stupid ex and just be in the moment for once.

So with that final thought, not having a care in the world, you drop the red cup in your hand and let your lips launch back onto his. Ashton follows your movements and the sound of the nearly empty beer bottle drops onto the hard wood, his right hand now resting along your neck as you both kiss each other.

Warm breaths, beating hearts and the sound of music is the only thing heard in the room as you lick into each others mouths. Soon you feel the weight of Ashton nudging you to lay back on the bed as he lies on top, you feel the cold zippers from his jacket press against your skin and all you can do is moan.

The feeling of his left hand tears away from the hairs on the nape of your neck and dance down your collar bone before letting it cup your breast in his hand, kneading the soft tissue which only makes another moan slip through you.

He pulls away from your lips and begins to suck and press kisses along your pulse, your hands that lie by your side now running up the sleeves of his jacket and into his hair.

A whimper spills out as you feel his hand tug your tank down and free your naked breast, he engulfs it in his cold palm making you let a shaky breath escape before you’re curling your fingers in his hair, the feeling of him twisting your nipple makes you bite down on your bottom lip. The pleasurable pain you feel running up your spine making your shoulders slightly buck off the bed.

“Hmm…” Ashton hums in your neck before tearing away, his eyes once such a light brown and green hue, now a chestnut and forest green colour filled with lust.

Your fingers tug away from his hair as he now descends down your body, his warm lips pressing kisses to your exposed skin as you let your hands tear your blouse and tank off. Your eyes never leaving his as he watches you undress. His lips now press against your pieced belly button as his fingers tear away from your chest and roughly takes your skirt by the band and peels it down your hips, your stockings following soon after.

Not wasting a moment he lets his mouth press against you covered core, lips pressing small kisses against your heat making you quietly moan. You wanted so desperately to tug Ashton into you and make him start devouring you right there but instead you let your hands trail back into his hair and play around with his locks.

Small kisses soon turn into open mouth licks, his wet muscle running up and down your clothed slit that it had your head digging back into the sheets, your legs spreading wider and whimpers endlessly trailing out.

“Ash.. please..” The words slip out so quiet that you assume he didn’t hear from the pulsing music below you, but instead your met with the feeling of his finger pulling your panties to the side and his tongue finally meeting you were you desired.

It circles around your clit gently before you feel his lips suck it into his mouth, a moan drawls from your throat due to the sensation. Soon enough, he’s letting his mouth discover the way you taste which only elects a moan from him. His tongue now dipping in between your two lips and curling around your insides.

“Oh my,” You moan as your fingers dig into his hair, eyes closing shut as you begin to slowly move your hips to the movement of his tongue.

The feeling of his right hand breaks away from your thigh and flows to your hips, his nails leaving small indents as you feel his other hand move away from your panty and rub against your clit.

The feeling of him humming against you sends a vibrating pleasure down your back as he continues to lick you, this only made your toes curl and your hands to fall out of his hair and onto his leather shoulders.

“Fuck,” You moan, your hands tugging him gently away from you as you feel your climax about to overcome your nerves.

And just as you feel it on the tip of your toes, the mouth between your legs pulls away beginning to press wet kisses up your thigh, his hand that once laid against your heat now meeting with the other at your hips.

A groan leaves you as your eyes tear open and look down at him. He mischievously looks up at you, his kisses now run up your stomach once again to lead to your neck.

“Upset?” He teases, only making you shudder at the rasp in his voice.

“I want you Ash,” You say breathlessly, turning your head to knock his out the way and look him in the eyes. “Please,” You utter, fingers now leaving his shoulders and brushing against his rip cage covered by his white tee.

Without any hesitation, Ashton is pulling away from your embrace and leaning back. He shrugs off his jacket, tugs his shirt over his head, his fingers going to the back of his baggy jeans to pull out his wallet to dig through before you see a gold package flash. If your cheeks could burn any brighter they differently would.

The mixture of his clothes and yours are strung through out the room, both of your shoes kicked to the bottom of the bed as he now shuffles his way back up to his original position.

Without question your hand meets the band of his boxers as you begin to inch them down his waist, wanting to return the favour.

“I think that can wait love, I rather be in you right now,” He breathes against your neck, only making your heart stutter. A sheepish smile tugs at your lips as you feel him twist around and lay on his side, his hands laying on your hips, turning you into the same position.

Your head rested on his arm as your back laid against his chest, hips aligned with each other as the feeling of his smell overcomes you. His knees prop up your legs as you hear the tearing of the condom package.

Deciding to distract yourself you let your eyes fall looking at Ashton. His black hair a tossed mess from your fingers, hazel eyes drawn to wear you both meet as he begins to run his member against your heat.

A whimper leaves your lips as you close your eyes when you feel him push inside, his hand now propping up your thigh as he eases into you.

He nudges your head forward and begins sucking kisses down the expanse of your neck, the feeling of his heart beating against your back and the smell of his sweat mixed with his cologne was filling your nose.

“Feels so good,” He mumbles against your skin, his arm that rested under your head turning slightly as he runs his hand against your wrist and takes your fingers into his, lacing them together as you continue to feel him stretch you out.

You never expected Ashton to have a thick piece but you also didn’t expect to be in this exact position right now, literally. Your childhood friend having his way with you while you were both drunk off each other and the alcohol in your systems.

His hips meet your backside before drawing back and pushing back in, your walls expanding with each thrust as you feel him begin a good pace. Moans begin to fall from your mouth, your eyes fluttering open every few seconds as your skin burns from the bruises soon to appear on your pulse from the black haired man beside you, skin still stuck to his lips.

“You’re moans are so pretty,” He breathes against you, his hand that was holding up your thigh runs up your hips to your chest, letting your leg fall as he takes one of your breasts and squeezes it gently.

All you can do is hum at his words because you’re too overstimulated to speak. The feeling of his thickness drawing in and out of you so heavily has you nodding off at the sensation, his fingers intertwined with yours beings to squeeze them together as the hand that was on your breast meets with his head at your neck.

“You like me fucking you,” He says into your ear as his hand squeezes your throat gently.

You nod your head as you feel your eyes slip close, and you were completely wrecked. He was so dirty yet gentle with you, peppering you with kisses yet digging into you so devilishly that it had your mind distraught.

“You like the way I feel inside you,” He continues, his hand growing more tight around your throat.

“Ash…” You say breathlessly, as your hand that rested against the bed sheets rises up and places it against the one making you breathless but encouraging your climax.

“Mm I like the way you feel around me,” He eggs on, and that makes you cry out, your back pushing pack and meeting his hips.

The feeling of your stomach twitching and legs quivering to close makes your head tip back even more against Ashton as you feel your orgasm on the brink.

That has him taking his hand away from your throat and slips it to lift your thigh back up as he continues to thrust into you, his lips press more kisses against your neck.

Your toes curl as the knot in your stomach expands and releases, the satisfying sensation washing over you as you let a deep breath break through your lips with a moan.

“Fuck,” Ashton hisses as he feels you twitch around him, the contractions from your high throwing him into his; his hips stutter before rocking back into you slowly, teeth gently digging into your skin, his breath being blown over the expanse of it.

The thickness of him slips out which causes your eyes to open, his hand dropping your thigh to wrap around your hips as his head buries into your neck.

The room is quiet for a moment as the only thing that can be heard is your hearts calming down and the chatter from down below.

“I would give you more kisses but I’ve made a mess on your neck,” His voice vibrates against you, that only makes you let out a broken laugh.

“I don’t even wanna know what it looks like,” You reply, your hand that rested on the duvet linking with his that rest along your stomach.

This felt nice, the amazing sex and cuddling session after. The room just being quiet and the only thing that can be heard is your breaths and beating hearts. This was so spontaneous that you still can’t even wrap your mind around what happened.

“How would you feel about doing this more often?” Ashton says after a few minutes, his chest moving as he pulls his head away from your neck to lie back against the pillows.

Having casual sex with him? You ponder on the idea. It was definitely one of the best you have ever had, he felt amazing and checked off every box when it came to how to please you. You couldn’t even lie and say that you didn’t find Ash attractive, you are also now officially single, free to due what we you wanted, so fuck it.

“Like… Friends with benefits?” You say, your thumb running against his hand still linked with yours by your head.

“Yeah, friends with benefits,” He confirms.

You let your head swish from side to side as you feel the burning sensation of his love bites strain against your neck as you let out a sarcastic hum to yourself as if you’re thinking it over.

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

[anartisticalniche]

Pirate AU (A Corsair Freebooter) Masterpost

(Name for the AU credit goes to @lizaluvsthis)

SYNOPSIS

Mario, a famous actor in the theater image of the Mushroom Kingdom and "bodyguard" to its ruler, seemingly disappears from the land overnight.

SMG4, a screenplay writer for a theater and his friend, is asked by Princess Peach to go search for him alongside his brother Luigi, and to bring him back to her.

They find out that he has apparently been taken by pirates roaming the port, and they depart for his search in the seas on the Skybreaker vessel, guided by Captain Tari and her righthand Saiko Bichitaru.

During their voyage they encounter one of the most notorious crew of pirates that roams the waters of this sea: Captain SMG3 and his followers, on board of the Black Bomb vessel.

Forced to join their crew, a great adventure and destiny awaits them, between curses, magical beings, sea monsters and creatures, and a war between land and sea inhabitants.

QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING THE PLOTLINE AND UPDATES

FIC/ART POLL

LINK TO THE AO3 FIC

SHORT ONESHOT FIC "THE MIRROR"

DOODLES/COMICS/ART DESIGN ETC

-Introductive post to the AU

-Doodles 1

-Brewing Romance XOVER!

-Luigi Doll

-Saiko/Tari/Peach designs

-Coatless Three

-Four and Luigi Bi talk

-Assorted SMG34 doodles

-Inkopolis and SMG4 studies

-Dancing with your captain

-Four to the rescue!

-PDA couple SMG34

-Four in a Victorian dress

-Assorted crew doodles

-Desperate

-Three loves money (server sticker)

-Drunk lovey dovey Four

-Stop doubting

MAIN STORYLINE

-SMG4 meets the Mario Bros

-Four being an ass

-Fic: Prologue

FANART/FIC BY OTHERS

-First encounter (SMG34) by @lizaluvsthis

-Flirting with a blade to the neck by @lizaluvsthis

-KAR-KEN?! by @anonymousfudanshi

-Fighting side by side by @k1ra0nloose

-Pirates designs by @chaoticlad

-Tari design by @anonymousfudanshi

-Where do you think youre going mate by @merp0515

-Merchant Karen design by @chaoticlad

-Xover of aus meeting Normal Four by @lizaluvsthis

-Bi awakening SMG4 by @hamlos

-Smg3's ship by @marasiatheferret

-Interpretation 2.0 by @marasiatheferret

-Switch + Pirate by @hamlos

-SMG34 Pirate au + other aus doodles by @lizaluvsthis

-Bday gift for me :3-SMG34 suspenseful moment by @lizaluvsthis

ASKS

-Various trivia (Crew and Kidnapping of Mario)

-Story or fic?

-Folklore and such

-Do they speak pirate?

-Name of AU

-Mario Appearances

-Nintendo Mario and Pirate AU

-Main Timeline

-Where you can find the AU

-Romantic ships in AU and age info for some of the characters

-Does Meggy turn human?

-Oh hellos and pirate au

-Pirate outfits for Axol and Boopkins?

-Who wears eyepatches

-Four hurt?

[justaghostingon]

With Enemies Like These, Who Needs Friends?

A space opera high school au

Canute, second born prince of the Glorious Galatic Empire of Dane, prided himself on his ability to blend in. He had spent the past four years trying not to draw attention to himself at Gorm High, ever since his father decided to “give him the opportunity to better understand his subjects.” Ragnar tried to frame it as a good thing, a unique opportunity he was being presented with, but by that time Canute was well aware it was his own ill health (and subsequent poor grades) that were the reason his father wasn’t bothering with his education. Both his brother and sister had gone to elite private schools to rub shoulders and make connections with nobles of their status. Canute meanwhile, shared classes with aspiring pirates.

It’s not that Gorm High was bad per se, it was quite generously funded by the local Space Wolves who called the planet home when the solar storms drove them to make port in the winter months. But it was hardly the type of place fitting of a prince. His classmates might just as likely try to ransom him if he was found out, so Canute had decided to devote all his efforts into ensuring they never found out.

It had been easier than expected, all things considered. He was registered as Ragnarson - a code name he he longed to be real in the dead of night when the pressures of princedom were to much - and not by his proper title of Sweynson. Ragnar certainly acted the part of the doting parent - a fact true in all but blood- so well that not even the grumpiest teacher suspected a thing. As for his noble upbringing, his soft hands, his slight accent, his manner of behavior, well. No one was looking at a sickly shrinking violet who never spoke and expecting a prince. It just didn’t click in their minds.

Even when the media leaked his humiliating fate as an “ordinary high school student” and the whole school was abuzz about wondering which school, and could it be there's? He was never a suspect. That suspicion fell on a wealthy merchant’s son, who milked it for all it was worth until a jilted girl got fed up and created a social media firestorm to expose him. The fallout was visceral, and the merchant's son had eventually been pulled out of school to avoid more scandal.

Canute had spent those weeks scared out of his mind, jumping at the smallest sounds and hiding in the one place he knew no one would look twice: Thorfinn’s shadow.

Thorfinn was the school’s legend. A bonefied Space Wolf on Askeladd’s Crew, the biggest and richest Space Wolf band in the area. It was rumored he’d been on that ship since he was six, such a protege that even Askeladd wouldn’t turn him away. He’d rolled up to Grom High fresh off of raiding season, and proceeded to put 20 seniors in the dirt for daring to try and test his strength. He’d gotten away with it too, only a week of suspension and a slap on the wrist. The school either too charmed by Askeladd's silver tongue or too scared to try and cross the nephew of the very man their school, and planet, were named after.

This feat had of course gained Thorfinn a good deal of notoriety, attracting all kinds of hangers on and suck-ups to try and get in his good graces, but Thorfinn's biting tongue and fierce expressions had quickly driven them off. By the time Canute had - exhausted from his latest stay in the hospital and not paying attention - plopped his textbooks next to Thorfinn's on the two person lab tables, there was already a wide circle of empty space around thorfinn created by the desks and chairs pulled far away.

Canute had panicked at first, when he realized who exactly he'd unwittingly made his partner in lab, but as the semester went on and Thorfinn made no move to attack him, talking only when he had to for the projects and otherwise working in silence beside him, Canute realized he'd struck gold.

If Thorfinn sat in a classroom, people did not sit next close to him. If Thorfinn walked in a hallway, the crowd parted for him. If Thorfinn ate his lunch in the branches of the old oak tree (a genuine earth species, and quite the flex of wealth from a school donor) then that was Thorfinn's tree, and no one would even walk under it during their lunch period.

So if Canute slipped on the edge of that circle around Thorfinn, not close enough to bother but close enough to avoid others, no one would try to talk to him either. If he walked just a pace or two behind Thorfinn, he could easily get through crowds. And if he sat under the branches of the Cedar tree in his own private picnic, no one would get close enough to see the food that was just a hair to fine to be the standard synthetically created junk most people ate.

He wasn't a complete leech of course. He'd pay Thorfinn back by partnering with him in science and other classes with mandatory group work. If Thorfinn missed any work thanks to raiding season, Canute would be the one to deliver it to the grumpy teen after he returned. A kindness for a kindness. It had worked very well for four years, and in all honesty, Canute had grown quite fond of Thorfinn, he'd even consider him a friend.

He was under no illusions this friendship was anything but one sided though. Thorfinn didn't lash out at him, but that was about where his tolerance ended. To him, Canute was nothing more than another piece of scenery, like a chair or a desk. The slight confusion in his eyes every time Canute took his place as his lab partner, despite them having been partners for years, never left. Canute wasn't even certain if he realized all his partners were Canute, or if he just thought that long haired blonds were just really common in Gorm High.

But that didn't matter to Canute. Thorfinn was like the Great Gand Serpents at the edge of the galaxy, forever swimming in circles around them, bodies so vast that stars barely mattered to them, much less the humans who lived on the planets around them. They kept the galaxy safe from all beyond, and the same was true of Thorfinn. Canute had nothing to fear in his shadow.

As long as Thorfinn was in Gorm High, Canute's secret was safe.

------

Canute might have spoken to soon. In his defense, how was he supposed to predict this? Thorkell the Tall, here, in Gorm High, hanging from a grappling hook after having ripped the Carbon plated roof off of the classroom barehanded. His infamous ship hovered above them all, pointing laser cannons down on Canute.

His classmates, understandably, panicked. Kids ran screaming in every direction, even some directly into walls. Boys who once boasted they'd take on any threat with ease now wet themselves with fear. Canute himself, sat frozen in his seat, to terrified to move, reciting the shepherd's prayer in his mind. Only Thorfinn seemed calm, laser daggers out and body dropped into a combat stance.

"Great Nephew!" Thorkell cried, dropping from his rope to the ground with a heavy thud that shook the very walls of the now roofless classroom. Several students fainted, but Thorkell ignored them, eyes focused on Thorfinn. "I knew you went to this school, but to find you in this class? What a coincidence!" He laughed, loud and boisterous and tried to pat Thorfinn on the back.

"I don't know you old man." Thorfinn dodged out of the way, laser daggers swinging at Thorkell. "Leave."

"Now, now!" Thorkell leapt out of the way with a grace a man of his size should not possess. "I can't just leave little nephew. I'm here on business!" His eyes turned to Canute, cold as the emptiness of space. "Prince Canute. You're coming with me."

At the sound of his title, Canute flinched. All around him he could see the trembling students still in the room watching the interaction. He could see clearly from where he sat the confusion briefly overwriting their fear. Their thoughts clear on their faces. This guy? This wall-flower is a prince? He's got to have the wrong guy.

Canute tried to swallow, but found he couldn't. The fear, the humiliation choked him silent. He wanted to scream. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to cuss Thorkell out for his careless words that broke years of hard one anonymity. But all he could do was stay silent, frozen in Thorkell's gaze like a moon rabbit before a skywolf.

Blond obscured his vision, breaking Thorkell's spell. Canute blinked, only to find Thorfinn had planted himself between him and Thorkell, daggers raised. Was he protecting him?

A rush of warmth filled his chest, melting the lump in his throat and spilling out onto his cheeks. "Thorfinn," he whispered in awe. Perhaps his friendship with Thorfinn wasn't as one-sided as he'd believed.

"What's this?" Thorkell boomed. "Young love? Thorfinn have you got yourself a boyfriend? And a prince to boot! You've got some fine taste!"

The warmth that had overcome Canute disappeared like he'd been doused in ice. He wanted to protest, it seemed wrong to misattribute Thorfinn's heroic defense of a classmate he barely knew to something as weak as a crush. He wanted to argue in Thorfinn's defense, but found without the warmth the lump had returned. He was stuck silent.

Thorfinn at least, seemed unmoved, only shifting to a better stance to begin the battle.

Thorkell kept talking, as if unaware of the mortification he was creating. He put his hand on his chin, studying the two of them."Now that I think about it, he does look a bit like Helga. I guess you inherited your taste from your father."

At the name Helga, Thorfinn finally reacted, body loosening as he lowered his daggers an inch. "How do you know that name?"

"She's my niece, how do you think we're related?" Thorkell laughed. "Why your father and I..."

Thorkell's eyes had a nostalgic glimmer in them, that meant he might have kept talking for quite a while, if not for the flaming pillar that fell into the classroom, cutting the wall apart like butter and blocking Thorfinn and Canute off from Thorkell.

"What the...?" A classmate who was somehow still crouching in the room under the desk said, just as a whole fleet of dragon class ships flew overhead, laser cannons blasting.

"Spoil sports," Thorkell sighed, watching his ship be pushed back further and further out of sight. "Well I guess that's it for now. See you soon Thorfinn! And your boyfriend too!"

So saying he began to run full charge up the undamaged wall. Throwing himself forward into the air, he whipped out a grappling hook and hooked his own ship, letting the momentum carry him out of the classroom and into the laser canon fight above.

Canute watched him go, like an ancient warrior of the first Space Age, a legend in the flesh. Then he turned his attention to the rest of the classroom, from the trembling bodies of his classmates, the bits of carbon plating littered across the room, to the desks slowly catching a light from the still burning pillar.

His eyes met Thorfinn's sharp and brown, and glaring like this was all Canute's fault.

Well Fuck. Canute's internal voice sighed. There goes my quiet school days.

-----

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Teachers ushering him and the other students out of the flaming classroom. The capital guard and Space Wolves swarming the area. A medic placing a shock blanket over his shoulders. The same medic trying to give one to Thorfinn and failing. The tears in Ragnar's eyes when he saw Canute unharmed. The warmth of his hug. And through it all, the ever present whispers. That's a prince?

He followed Ragnar as he led him to the principal's office, feeling like a ship who hadn't been properly anchored to the space port and was floating away. He barely even noticed the room was already crowded with Thorfinn, his guardian Askeladd, and even Gorm himself.

Ragnar was yelling at the principal for his negligence. Canute absently watched as his face got redder and redder as Ragnar kept going. He wanted to tell Ragnar to stop. If the Principal got any redder he might just explode. At some point Gorm interrupted, something about money, and Ragnar rounded on him too, calling out his penny pinching ways for scrimping on proper protection. Askeladd spoke up too, trying to smooth everything over.

Only thorfinn stayed silent, honey brown eyes watching Canute's every shallow breath.

"You are all missing the obvious solution." Askeladd's voice broke through Canute's trance. "Thorfinn is one of my best men. If he becomes the prince's bodyguard, he'll both provide protection and minimize the disruption to the prince's classes."

Canute took in a sharp breath. Surely they weren't ...

"I saw him defend the prince against Thorkell in the camera footage" Ragnar was nodding. "He's a good choice."

"He is an excellent student," The principal admitted. "Even with the raiding."

"Then it's decided!" Askeladd clapped his hands. "Thorfinn you're on guard duty! Say hello to your new prince!" He pushed Thorfinn towards Canute, as if they were just meeting, as if they hadn't known each other for four years.

"Hey I didn't agree!" Thorfinn snapped, fighting Askeladd's hand.

Askeladd bent his head, and whispered something Canute could barely make out in Thorfinn's ear. "If you do, you'll get a duel every month." He wasn't certain what it meant, but Thorfinn stopped fighting Askeladd's hands at that moment, allowed him to push him the last few steps to Canute.

Canute's eyes met Thorfinn's, icy blue on honey brown, and wondered what he was supposed to say. What do you say to someone you've known so well for so long, yet never spoke to? Who's shadow had unknowingly hidden you for years? Someone who had tried to protect you when you could have sworn he didn't even know your name.

He smiled, genuine and warm, watching as Thorfinn's eyes widened. It felt like the first step.

[etoilesombre]

hi! this is maybe very out of the blue, but - i'm reading 'our feast is but beginning' on ao3, and in a comment on part one you write something about the urca gold being a cursed symbol and that it makes zero economical sense. idk really what i am asking but maybe - do you have posts on hand that deal with that? or would you write down some of your thoughts on that? it sounds really interesting! thanks (:

OOOH I'm so excited to talk about this -- it is actually going to come up more in the final chapter of that series, and it comes up as a major plot point in longfic, because I think its a really great example of how in some ways Black Sails is Just a Story. Which is also to say: none of what I'm saying here is a criticism of the show. The Urca Gold is Pirate Treasure writ large, it serves its function in the narrative, we don't actually need to think about the real world implications of stealing it.

But IF, for instance, you were a fanfic writer and kind of a history and econ nerd, and inclined to 'well actually' stuff, then you might see a couple problems with the gold as a solution for a free and independent Nassau. I think of them basically as problems of scale and form.

Let's talk about scale first. Basically, if you are going to steal and not die, you have to make a few calculations.

If you can steal something big, run away and live anonymously ever after, good for you! No problems. (This was Silver's initial plan. He was smart.)

If, however, you are going to steal openly, and maintain some sort of defended home base (see: bandits, organized crime, pirates) you have to ensure it is not worthwhile for people to come get their stuff back. This is why, as a pirate, it behooves you to have a reputation for extreme violence, and also a remote hideout. Merchant ships have insurance, the right people quietly profit from the fencing of pirated goods; nobody actually wants to die, so piracy is cost of doing business, and the world carries on.

The Urca gold is in a completely different class of stealing. This isn't holding up a truck; it isn't robbing the bank. It's robbing the Federal Reserve. Five million Spanish dollars, in today's money (yes, there are issues thinking of it this way, but the point holds) equals somewhere around 250-300 million US dollars.* There is simply no way that it is not worth Spain's (or England's) time and resources to go get it back. The cache they were fighting over at the end was one share and it was enough to cause all that trouble. The full amount would be worth sending a good chunk of your navy for, and the fact that this did not happen immediately requires some suspension of disbelief. Anyway.

Flint's theory seems to be that it's enough money to allow the pirates to defend Nassau against that threat, and basically establish themselves as a rich colony the empires won't fuck with. This is treated by the show like a reasonably serious proposition. So why does it fall apart? You can buy anything with that kind of money, can't you?

Now we get to the problem of form. Gold is only useful if you can exchange it for stuff you need. This is a problem for the pirates on two different fronts, defense specifically and trade in general.

In terms of defense, the pirates would need, very quickly, enough ships and guns to fight at least one imperial navy. But only the major powers were capable of manufacturing those ships and guns. Even if the pirates bought up all they could in terms of well-armed merchant ships/found a corrupt governor or two to buy guns and powder from, it would always be a losing battle because no matter how much money you throw at them, the powers that make warships are absolutely not selling you any. Why would they, when they can use them to come take the gold instead?

So, if the pirates aren't going to live long once they have this gold, can they at least spend their last months being filthy rich and enjoying themselves?

Not really.

We see Jack's crew members getting huge shares, everyone else on the island taking payment to help with defense when the time comes, as well as Jack paying laborers exorbitant amounts. So there's plenty to go around right?

This is how inflation happens. If we all suddenly have twice as much gold, but there is no more actual physical stuff, almost instantly the stuff will cost twice as much. This problem at least theoretically could be corrected by increasing trade. [Also, realistically, people would leave. But let's say they're staying for belief in the pirate republic reasons.] Because in the wider economy of trade in the Atlantic money is still valued normally, you can just import what you need.

And, maybe. This is more plausible than the rest.

But that sort of correction takes time, and given the whole 'war with civilization' situation, there can't be legitimate and sanctioned trade. It's pretty hard to get enough illegitimate goods in for an economy to prosper --- especially because if you're relying on black market trade during wartime, notoriously there ends up being price gouging and then you're back to square one with inflation.

In conclusion: the show does not get bogged down by this, as it shouldn't. It's fine. But yeah, the gold is fake and makes no sense, and Flint and Jack especially are borderline delusional about what it can achieve for them.

*This is actually not as impressive as I wanted it to be, once I started looking up reference points, eg, how much outstanding student debt is there? how much money does besos have? how much is defense spending? Did y'all know we should fight capitalism and eat the rich?

[lunarluna0]

Octopath Traveler: Another

Hello hello Octopath Traveler community! I am here with a prospective AU of the first game!

Basically, everything’s the same, except the travelers are switched with side characters.

So instead of Ophilia, it’s Lianna. Instead of Cyrus, it’s Therese. Instead of Alfyn, it’s Zeph. So on and so forth. I’ve already got all the ones planned out, and basically I’ve just limited it to characters that show up in the travelers’ first chapters. Here’s the actual list, plus my (honestly kinda lackluster) reasonings for the choices!

Ophilia is switched with Lianna

I feel like this is the most obvious of the bunch? I chose this one mainly because Lianna was originally supposed to be the Flamebearer and go through the Kindling.

In this AU, basically she goes to the cave, passes the trial and gets the flame + the lanthorn, and sets out on the Kindling despite how worried she is for Joseph (while Ophilia stays behind). Pretty simple, not a lot of big changes like with some of the others.

I imagine that during her journey she regains much of her former personality (as it’s stated by Joseph that she put aside a lot of her true self to serve the church), and learns how to properly balance that VS what the church needs of her.

Cyrus is switched with Therese

This one is more of just me wanting to give Therese more of a personality and role than just “Cyrus’ student/admirer”.

Basically she overhears Cyrus talking about one of the books being stolen from the archives and, while he’s off having his talk with Yvon, she decides that she’ll try to find it for him in order to impress him! She does so, finds Russel and beats him up, but when she goes to return the book to the archives she’s told by Yvon that she’s being suspended from the academy for “breaking rules, reckless endangerment, and violence against others” (she was originally going to be expelled, but Lucia and Cyrus talk Yvon down so that it’s just a suspension). While she’s leaving the Academy, and dreading having to go home and explain to her parents about her suspension, she gets to chat with Cyrus and he offhandedly mentions that one of the books Russel stole- From the Far Reaches of Hell- had yet to be recovered. Therese, because it’s Therese, says that she’ll go and find it for him. She’s already on suspension, why not do something productive with it? Cyrus tries to dissuade her before relenting and telling her to go see his friend in Quarrycrest.

Basically during her journey, Therese both grows a proper spine, and also grows out of her schoolgirl crush on Cyrus.

Tressa is switched with Leon

Now, I know what you’re thinking; why not Ali? The answer is simply because I like Leon more. Also his lends the story more ✨pizzazz✨

So basically he sets anchor in Rippletide, and he overhears that the towns been having pirate troubles from Tressa. After seeing the pirates causing the townsfolk grief, he decides to help them out. Tressa helps with the plan of getting all the pirates to sleep, and he goes in to clean up the mess. While going through the treasure horde to help make sure they go back to the right people, he stumbles across a worn, old journal. He picks it up and reads through it, very surprised to see that it’s the personal journal of his dead friend Baltazar (how it got there, he doesn’t know for certain, but he supposed that with the pirates randomly found it, or stole it from a townsfolk for randomly found it). He decides to retrace the journal’s steps in a vain, last ditch effort to find the “greatest treasure” of his late friend.

I’d imagine that he’d start out at a higher level compared to some of the others, especially since he was an established pirate before becoming a merchant.

Olberic is switched with Philip

Warning: I only chose this option because I thought it was funny. This poor nine year old is about to become Orsterra’s #1 most traumatized child.

Basically he didn’t get kidnapped by the brigands, but chased after them instead because Olberic did and he wanted to help his mentor. Once he gets there he sees Olberic fighting off the brigands and demanding answers from Gaston about Erhardt- but Olberic is also wounded because it’s been a long time since he fought so many people all at once. Philip decides to play hero and help, picking up one of the swords on the ground (which is almost like the same size as him) and rushing in to provide support. Somehow he wins, because he now has plot armor, but still wants to help after seeing how torn up Olberic is about what Gaston has told him. He had overheard quite a bit of the conversation himself, and decides that he’ll help Olberic find Gustav and Erhardt. Both Olberic and Philip’s mother go “absolutely not”, Philip goes “well tough luck I’m a Big Boy™️ and I’m going anyway”, and runs away to go to Victor’s Hollow.

I find the mental image of Philip being an absolute prodigy/beast with a sword almost as big as he is to be incredibly funny. Just the team goes up against a dude and they say “time to get our master sword fighter in here to help us” and it’s just some kid.

Primrose is switched with Yusufa

I want justice for my girl, and I will give her the spotlight she deserves if it’s the last thing I do. Also fuck Helgenish, all my homies hate Helgenish.

In this AU, Primrose had told Yusufa her backstory because they’re each other’s only friends, and Yusufa swears to help Primrose find and get revenge on the guys that killed her father. Flash forward to the first chapter of the game, Primrose sees the guy with the crow mark and starts chasing after him, but is stopped by Yusufa asking where she’s going because she’s supposed to perform on stage. Primrose tells Yusufa that she saw one of the men and Yusufa, remembering her promise but also not wanting Primrose to get in trouble, tells Primrose that she’ll chase after him as nobody will notice her absence and so that Primrose doesn’t get in trouble with Helgenish. Primrose is, understandably, hella reluctant but obliges after some convincing. Yusufa gets out of the tavern and starts chasing after the man. She gets pretty close to catching him before Helgenish shows his ugly face and reveals that he had taken Primrose hostage. He gives Primrose a very nasty wound (she doesn’t die) and Yusufa, in her anger at seeing her only friend get hurt, attacks Helgenish and kills him. Because of Primrose’s wound, she can’t chase after the perpetrators even though she wants to, and Yusufa swears that she’ll find them and kill them for her, just like she had promised to help her so long ago.

Is it obvious that Yusufa is one of my favorites? We love a girlboss. She also becomes besties with Lianna because I make the rules now.

Alfyn is replaced with Zeph

I feel like, like with Ophilia and Lianna, this is also one of the really obvious swaps.

Basically Nina still gets bit by the Blotted Viper, and because he’s her older brother he goes off to get the viper’s venom and leaves Alfyn in charge of Nina’s care. He does so, he gets back and makes the cure, bing bang boom everything’s peachy keen. Nina tells Zeph that, while she was sick, she had a dream (kind of in the same vein of the one Joseph had) about Zeph traveling around Orsterra and helping a lot of people, and how she thought it was so cool that her brother was a hero. Zeph, wanting to honor that dream and make Nina proud, decides to leave Clearbrook and travel Orsterra to heal people. He and Alfyn trade satchels, and off he goes!

We get development for Zeph’s relationship with Mercedes! Not a lot changing in the character development department, though he does go through sort of the same problem with Miguel that Alfyn went through.

Therion is switched with Cordelia

Sort of in the same vein as Olberic and Philip being swapped as I did this originally because I thought it’d be funny, and then I realized that it lended Cordelia a lot of character development and that’s always a plus.

So basically in this, Therion defeats Heathcote like planned but doesn’t fall for being hit with the Fool’s Bangle so he just takes the Sapphire Dragonstone and skeddales. Cordelia is hella pissed off and also distraught that the last of her family’s heirlooms had been stolen again, and promptly starts chasing Therion down. She confronts him, defeats him and gets the Dragonstone back. While the both of them are being patched up by Heathcote (Therion is only there because he has a begrudging respect for Cordelia and the fact she has a nasty right hook), Cordelia decides “fuck it I’m getting all the Dragonstones back myself”. Heathcote tries to dissuade her, Therion just goes “hell yeah stick it to the rich people” and teaches her the basics of thievery (she learns it terrifyingly quick), and off Cordelia goes.

I imagine that when Cordelia was little, and before her parents died/the Dragonstones were stolen, she was a very mischievous kid and always stole stuff from like the servants and whatnot. I also find it funny that you have this prim and proper rich girl, who will not hesitate to steal all of your money the second you look away from her (and sometimes when you’re looking straight at her).

Last but not least, we have H’aanit switched with Z’aanta

Our favorite old man with a gambling addiction, as well as his big cuddly direwolf buddy, fill out our last swap!

Honestly, this one is just pretty much the same as H’aanit’s. The only real change is that H’aanit was the one to go after the Redeye, because Z’aanta was too busy protecting S’warkii. He got really worried due to how long it was taking H’aanit to get back home and, when Linde shows up in S’warkii without H’aanit, he decides to set out and find her. His direwolf, Hägen, is just along for the ride.

Z’aanta does as Z’aanta does, and now the story is exactly the same except with more alcohol and more loosing all the leaves they have to a crippling gambling addiction.

Anyways, that’s the basics of it that I’ve got down so far! If anyone else has any ideas or suggestions or just wants to talk about the AU with me, feel free to do so! I don’t know if I’m going to write any sort of story or whatnot about it, but who knows what the future holds!