#mentally of course he can do whatever he wants irl
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drinking-straight-milk · 2 years ago
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oh yeah i’m in love with nico hischier in case i forgot to mention
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young Hischier kids
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winterrrnight · 6 months ago
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Ever since I first read your blurb abt rafe calling reader a goddess, all I can think about is how husband!rafe is such a big bad provider. Like he makes sure wife knows that whatever is his, is hersss, and always putting his card down to pay for everything (loads of shopping sprees) and makes sure wife is happy, taken care of (emotionally, physically, mentally) and comfortable in her own self, their home, etc. And everyone in the whole WORLD knows they are both off limits, like we all know rafe doesn’t play abt his wife 😭. I think im obsessed w this idea bc i want that irl 😫, this blog is my safe space 🫶🏾
part of this little universe <3
OH YES I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!!!! husband!rafe's top priority is his wife and his wife only!!! he's always paying for her, even though I do believe wife!reader would have her own job too (more on that here) (but that of course depends on the reader, that's just my idea), but still, he is the provider, he's always spoiling his wife in the best way possible, buying her gifts literally all the time, suprising her with jewelry, clothes, shoes; whatever the reader loves and prefers.
he takes care of her in every aspect, just as you said. talking about emotionally and mentally, he never ever lets her have a pout on her face, always ready to listen to what she wants to say, being the person she can so easily confide in, with returning all of that back to him too.
talking about physically, he is obsessed, and I mean, OBSESSED, with every inch of her skin. he would kiss the ground she walks on if he could. he's always touching her in one way or the other, if they're out, they are holding hands, or his arm is around her shoulders or her waist, or his hand in his back pocket, no matter what, he needs that closure.
and if they're in their own private space, he'll kiss whatever part of her skin he can. he loves peppering kisses over her face, her neck, her shoulders, her belly, her chest, her thighs, her calves, her ankles... oh he's doing that and he's murmuring gentle praises always to her!!!
rafe doesn't play about his wife and reader doesn't play about rafe either!!!! talking about them in public again, they aren't into that much pda but they're still subtly touching as I said before, it's like 'private but not a secret' type of thing. it's a well established fact that who is rafe cameron's (basically the owner of the entire island) wife, and no one, absolutely no one dares to say anything to her.
whenever they go out, rafe doesn't have any restrictions on reader about what she can or can't wear. he lets her wear anything she wants to, he worships her in it and reminds her she looks like a goddess, and if he catches someone staring at her in the wrong way, you best know he's breaking that person's jaw.
awwww omg that is SUCH a sweet thing to say!!! 🥹🥹💗💗 I'm so glad my blog feels like your safe space, you're welcome here literally any time!!! 💘💘💘
send me any husband!rafe or rafe/drew/zach thoughts you may have! <3 (sfw only! + slightly suggestive content is okay)
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madaqueue · 8 months ago
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4.20
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pairing: suguru geto x f!reader
themes/content: roommate geto. language, smut. smoking weed, high sex, pet names (angel, baby), praise, light nipple sucking, kissing, sex. 18+, MDNI
word count: 2.4k
a/n: blah blah drugs are bad whatever anyways geto would absolutely smoke irl
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You swing open the door to your apartment with a huff, throwing your bag down in the entryway and kicking your shoes across the hall.
“Bad day?” asks the familiar airy voice from across the room.
A sarcastic chuckle leaves your lips as you take your hair out of the tight bun you wear for work, shaking your head as it falls. “You don’t even know,” you respond, eyes traveling across the room to see the source of the question, your roommate Suguru, on the couch in your shared living room.
He sits with his legs spread, only adorned with grey sweatpants, his bare chest softly illuminated by the evening sun streaming in through the nearby window. Reaching his hand out, he grabs the bong perched on the coffee table, holding it up to you.
“Then you better get your ass over here, because I’ve been waiting all day for you to get home,” he teases.
He’s always known just what you need after a shitty day, a way to drown out the agitation your coworkers seem to never-endingly bring upon you. Running into your room, you quickly change into pajamas, desperate to remove the stuffy business casual outfit that always feels out of place on your body.
Now much more comfortable you return to the living room, slouching down next to him on the couch. “You didn’t have to wait,” you hum, reaching a hand out to grab the lighter, desperate for the mental respite of melting into that familiar high.
“‘Course I did,” he purrs, “no one else around to play with my hair the way you do, angel.”
Trying to ignore the butterflies building in your chest from the nickname, you flick the lighter on in your hand as you steady yourself above the glass piece. Igniting the carefully pre-packed bud, courtesy of Geto, the embers spread as you inhale the smoke. It burns slightly as it fills your lungs, holding for a moment before you exhale, the familiar sweet taste lingering in your mouth before passing it to Suguru.
Before you know it, the constant static of noise in your mind quiets.
The sounds of whatever cartoon he picked out echoes through your apartment as he situates himself between your legs on the couch, his back leaning against your chest as your palms comb through his dark hair.
This little routine between the two of you had become your favorite part of the week, an inexplicable relaxation washing over you as you sit in silence and forget your worries for a moment.
Your fingers absentmindedly braid and unbraid his locks, the sensation sending shivers through his body. For both of you this was practically a form of self-care, a way to treat yourselves for the stress you endure.
Shifting his weight slightly, he reaches an arm out to the table to grab the bong, holding it towards you so you can take another hit. Leaning forward, you rest your chin on his shoulder as he lights the bowl for you, smoke filling it as you inhale, the glass cool against the heat of your lips.
He repeats the action for himself, and something about the way his eyes barely close as he breathes in, his eyelashes fluttering ever so slightly, makes him look so soft.
Everything in your body feels light, warm. Lazily tracing your eyes over his body, he looks just as warm; something in you wants to touch him, feel him.
Sliding your arms below his, you place your hands on his thighs, taking in the fuzzy texture below your palms as you continue watching him. He exhales, turning his head slightly to look over his shoulder at you.
“What’re you doin’ there?” he breathes, curiosity lacing his voice.
The way his skin seems to glow draws you in, placing your lips against his neck as you continue tracing your fingertips along his legs.
“Soft,” you murmur into him.
An airy chuckle escapes his lips as he leans into your touch. His hands find their way to the bare skin of your legs beneath your shorts, his thumbs beginning to draw small circles along your inner thighs.
Suddenly, it feels like you’re vibrating, your entire body pulsing with each beat of your heart. Scanning for the source of the new sensation, you notice the heat between your legs, cunt throbbing in pace. Suguru’s hands move slightly higher, only intensifying the desire building within you.
Of course you had thought about fucking him, it would be insane if you hadn’t, especially given the way he walked around in only a towel after showering, hair dripping as he strolled through the kitchen, or how he’d come up behind you and press his chest against your back when you struggled to reach something from one of the taller shelves, or when he would stroke your hair gently after a long day as you rested your head in his lap.
But at the end of the day, you both knew you couldn’t - you couldn’t risk jeopardizing your living situation (or, more importantly, your friendship).
Maybe it was the weed clouding your thoughts, or maybe it was the months of shoving down your feelings for him, but right now, you can’t bring yourself to care: you need him.
Your hands move up his legs to the waistband of his sweatpants as you paw at the fabric, mouth never separating from the crook of his neck as you begin to suck lightly on it.
He takes in a soft gasp at the sensation. “Careful, angel,” he hums. He wouldn’t admit it, but your touch is absolutely addicting, the softness of your fingertips tingling every inch of his body. Deep down, he knows that if you start, he may not be able to stop.
Yet, rather than heeding his warning, his words ignite something in you, something that needs more. You slide one hand under his waistband, but as soon as you nearly make contact with his cock through his boxers, he moves.
Before you can even realize what’s happening, he’s turned around so he’s on top of you, one knee between your legs as the other cages you into the couch. Loose strands of hair fall over his face as his dark eyes meet your glazed-over ones.
“S-Sugu?” you stutter as you try to focus your gaze on him.
Everything feels cloudy, far away. The only sensation tethering you to reality you is him, his leg beginning to press against your clothed cunt through the flowy shorts covering your lower half. A soft moan vibrates inside you as your eyes slam shut, your hips bucking up, aching for any source of friction.
His chest rises and falls, struggling to take in enough air as he looks down at you, your eyes closed as you rut against him, the sight making his breath hitch.
“God, you look so perfect like this,” he mutters, your motions never slowing.
Your teeth sink into your lower lip, trying to stifle the sounds of pleasure threatening to leave your throat.
Suguru smiles above you, laughing to himself. “That feel good, baby?”
Eyes still closed, you nod, humming a soft, “Mhm,” in confirmation as you struggle to form words, the mixture of your high and your hedonism intensifying as you find a pace pathetically rubbing against his thigh.
Your hands reach up to him, grabbing onto his biceps in an attempt to ground yourself as you approach your release. Right as you feel the tightness in your stomach, he pulls his leg away from you, a desperate whine leaving your lips.
“Not yet, angel,” he purrs, “it’ll feel better if you cum on my cock. You want that?”
Your teary eyes flutter open and meet his, pupils blown wide in lust as you weakly nod.
He leans over you, lips nearly touching your ear. “I know you’ve got some words floating around in that pretty little head of yours,” he whispers, “use them.”
Using all of your energy, you manage to choke out a broken “Yes.”
“Good girl,” he whispers against your skin, his words making your cunt throb. His fingers trace down your body until he’s thumbing the waistband of your shorts. “Why don’t you take these off, pretty,” he softly commands.
He leans back, allowing you to remove your clothes and toss them across the room as he sits up, back resting against the couch and legs spread apart. He pats the thigh you had just been grinding against, and you crawl to your place in his lap.
Straddling his waist, his eyes lazily trace over your body, now only covered in your tight tank top and soaked-through panties. One of his hands moves to your hip as the other pulls down his sweatpants, freeing his cock that nearly hits his abdomen from how hard he is.
Your eyes are drawn downward as your mouth opens in awe of his size, reaching down and gently stroking up his length. He sucks in a sharp breath as your thumb traces over his slit, dragging the precum that had been pooling over his flushed tip.
So focused on the way his cock twitches in your palm you barely register his fingers ghosting between your legs, pushing your panties to the side as he glides up your slick folds.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he murmurs as you continue absentmindedly stroking him.
Without realizing it, your hips begin circling against his hand, his palm roughly rubbing against your clit as you whine. “More, Sugu, please,” you beg, the words tumbling out of your mouth.
He chuckles lightly at your soft desperation. “Okay, angel,” he hums, mind hazy with his own desire for you.
He gently grasps your wrist to move your hand away from his base and replaces it with his own, using the hand on your hip to guide you above him, aligning his tip with your entrance.
Slowly sinking down on him, your eyes flutter shut as waves of ecstasy course through your body. Your head falls forward as you lean against his shoulder, the sensation of being stretched by him making your vision go white.
When he finally bottoms out in you, your pussy clenches around him involuntarily, eliciting a soft “fuck,” from the man as your eyes threaten to roll back.
“Y’take me so well, angel,” he purrs, “such a good girl f’me,” his words slurring in lust.
Eyes still closed as you lean against him, you begin to rock your hips forward, your motions slow and imprecise. As you find your rhythm, his cock sliding in and out of you as you circle your waist, his hands trace up under your shirt, his touch like electricity sending shockwaves through your body.
His palms reach your breasts, his fingertips setting your nerves on fire as he kneads the soft mounds. Pleasure builds in your core as you lean your head back through a moan, mouth hanging open as you arch towards him. Leaning forward he places wet kisses down your neck before lifting your shirt above his wrists, sticking his tongue out and circling your hardened nipple before placing it in his mouth.
“F-fuck, Suguru,” you whine as your hands move to his hair. As he feels your fingertips brushing along his scalp, tingles run down his back and he shivers against your body.
Pulling away from your chest he moves his palm behind your head, tilting you down to look at him. Your eyes are unfocused, a lopsided grin across your cheeks as your eyes roam his face. He looks equally dazed, a lazy smirk decorating his features.
“Wanted you so bad,” he hums, “been thinkin’ about this for so long.” He looks up at you with a fuzzy adoration in his tired eyes, the smile on your face spreading as you blush at his words.
Everything about the moment is unhurried, calm, as you lean forward and kiss him. Your lips meet messily, mouths parting as your tongues glide together.
Your hips continue grinding against him mindlessly and he starts to thrust up in pace with your motions, his cock hitting deeper and deeper into you.
You moan into him, the only sound you can make as your thoughts cloud with bliss. Tension tugs at your core as you feel yourself approaching the edge of your release.
Your shared apartment is filled with the sounds of skin against skin, the lewd wet sounds of his cock bullying into you, your whimpers and moans echoing off the walls. Both of you are otherwise silent, lost in the moment, unable to formulate coherent thoughts other than the ecstasy you share.
“M’gonna cum, angel,” he finally whispers into you. “Finish with me?”
All you can muster is a nod, mouth loosely agape, waiting for his tongue to slot back against yours.
As soon as he does, his lips warm and moist, he thrusts harder into you, purely following a carnal need living deep within the core of his body, his muscles acting on their own.
Pushing his pelvis higher, his tip prods against the sweet spot inside you that has you completely losing yourself, the tightness inside you snapping as you come undone.
Your pussy flutters around his length, pushing him to his own release as he pumps thick, hot ropes of cum that coat your insides.
His hips slow as he imprecisely fucks himself into you, prolonging your high.
When you finally return to reality, he pulls his lips away from yours, a trail of saliva momentarily connecting you as your eyes flutter open to meet his.
“Y’look so pretty,” he coos, taking in your sweet fucked-out face: pupils blown wide, eyes glassed over, lips parted as drool pools in the corners of your lazy smile.
Resting his hand along your jaw, he brings his thumb over to wipe the spot from your mouth, rubbing it over your lower lip. Without thinking you stick your tongue out, taking his thumb into the warmth of your mouth as you suck it, eyes nearly rolling back inadvertently as his cock twitches inside you from the sight.
Moving his hand away, he instead pulls you into another messy kiss, feeling the heat of your skin against his.
Finally sliding yourself off him, you both giggle in bliss as you clean yourselves up, returning every once in a while to take another rip of the bong.
You fall asleep cuddled next to him on the couch, playing with his hair, more relaxed than you’ve ever felt before.
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minniiaa · 9 months ago
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Sorry if this seems repetitive but I haven't been active on social media in yearsss
Is it true that there's a lot of lawlu hate on tiktok and Twitter? I'm so confused because there used to be so much love for the ship back in 2017/2018 from my perspective (Amino era).
The short answer: yes and no. Let me start by saying I'm not the best person to answer this since I purely consume on twitter. I made my personal twitter in 2007 like it's everyone I've ever known irl and has nothing to do with shipping or hobbies and I follow approx 0 accounts related to anime, manga, or lawlu. I just looked up lawlu a few times and browsed and suddenly it's my whole fucking timeline and there’s no going back and now I have a lawlu twitter (This makes me very happy).
So if anyone else has an opinion on this that is more in the community, please feel free to comment away. Otherwise, below are my observations.
First off, there IS a ton of love for the ship. Most of what I see is beautiful art (they got the nsfw ayo), memes, fanfics, and headcanons just like tumblr. There are tons of comments of people swooning over these posts, Lawlu IS one of the most popular OP ships after all.
There's just a vocal minority that are very against the concept of shipping and in that subset there are those who are very against Lawlu. There people out there that will literally list accounts to block that ship lawlu or write lawlu DNI in their bios. The same can be said for other ships, it's not just this one it’s any they deem a ‘pro ship’ (problematic ship) and Lawlu is generally considered one of these. Below as is an example:
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The biggest issues I’ve seen with Lawlu are the following 1. luffy is aroace and cant be shipped period 2. law groomed luffy and the age gap is gross. IMO I think most of these people are just infantilizing Luffy as some goofy autistic kid that doesn't know what love and sex are when in reality he's very self-aware and happy does not equal stupid. Also he's 19 he’s not underage. He met Law twice when he was 17, one of which was saving his life as a doctor and Luffy was unconscious most of this time. Let's not forget Luffy's a war criminal kicking the asses of people 4x his age in a pirate world, age doesn't really work the same as irl.
BUTTT Not that any of this matters because you can ship whoever the fuck you what because guess what? It's ~fiction~. I could rant about how people can ship whatever the hell they want all day but I'll save my breath for now. (my opinion of course)
Also there are just mentally ill people who enjoy telling others to kys if you like something they like do. Lawlu shippers are just their chosen target demographic. Creators get foul messages in their inboxes, rude comments, just general hater behavior. Twitter is just a firey cesspool and all fandoms have 'fans' who do nothing but hate. We live in an age of negativity where being a hater is the cool thing to do.
HOWEVER, I see more people posting about why those people are wrong and stupid than the actual negative tweets but maybe that's because I actually support the ship and the algorithm sees that. Not sure how twitter works, nor do I want to know about that dumpster fire there's a reason I came over to tumblr.
As for tiktok, I don't really consume a lot of tiktok so I can't speak on it besides seeing cosplayers and cute animations/art. I'll leave that to the tiktok people to look into.
For argument's sake, I went through the lawlu tag and picked some lovely tweets to share with you so you can see the toxicity for yourself. Sadly only 10 images per post but I think you get the point. Thanks for the ask hope this was informative. :)
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ilikekidsshows · 24 days ago
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It's wild how people said Adrienette is couple goals or best couple because if it's happened IRL people would shouted 'stay away from that toxic bitch' but then I remembered one of my friends told me she likes joker and Harley and wish she has relationship like them and my brain goes brrr instantly 🥶
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I actually kinda get the idea of codependent relationships being a fantasy, but the way people fantasize about them can only ever be a fantasy. The idea of there being a person who’s so perfect for you that they fulfill your every want and need is the entire reason why soulmates are such a popular concept. The same thing applies to the fantasy that you, as you are now, are perfect for someone in a way that requires you to do no work to accommodate another person and their needs because you’re already perfect.
This perfect match being a romantic partner is enforced by the amatonormative standards of current society. Many cultures lead to people being raised to put completely unreasonable demands on romance and their future partner. To these kinds of people, the lovesquare really is a dream come true, a relationship where you fit each other so perfectly that you never have to actually do anything to gain, maintain and keep said relationship.
Of course, when we look at the actual situation in Miraculous, this fantasy is only being fulfilled on Marinette’s part in the relationship. She can make whatever demands she wants and have them be met, she can have all her needs catered to and she doesn’t need to change one iota, and if she changes for the worse, well, her partner will just accept her and her treatment of him anyway because they’re so perfect for each other. But, the thing is, Marinette getting all of this out of the relationship, getting to make all the demands while having to deal with none from her partner, is only made possible through the further risking and damaging of Adrien’s mental and emotional well-being. Adrien has to be hurt so that Marinette can avoid being hurt, or even mildly inconvenienced if we’re being honest.
But even that is romantic to the people who glorify these types of relationships. The idea that someone loves you so much that they’d actively compromise their own well-being and health for you is very romantic when you just consider yourself a passive recipient of care and that the fantasy doesn’t have consequences. But, in reality, what human being has so much mental fortitude that they’d be able to make all the sacrifices for their partner while never getting any consideration back or even a break because said partner is so dependent? And, when this fortitude inevitably breaks, what do you think the supposed soulmate of this perfect, self-sacrificing partner will do once their significant other has given all they can, when his mental health cracks from the pressure of maintaining hers? She’ll do whatever she can to avoid having to give that care back, like gaslighting him into thinking that his problems don't actually exist.
This thing about fantasizing about unhealthy, toxic or even abusive relationships is that it always comes without the consequences such a thing would actually have in real life. The people glorifying the lovesquare fully expect Adrien to always be okay enough to put Marinette's needs first, even if he isn't fully okay, because him not being fully okay and still making sacrifices for her is romantic to them, and the fantasy includes that this state can just be maintained into perpetuity. It’s the same thing with seeing Harley and the Joker as a good couple. He literally beats her, but he’s also so obsessed with her that he’d hunt her down if she left him or kill for her. The people who think this relationship is #couple goals are only seeing the obsession, but think that kind of obsession can come without the negative consequences of it, the mistreatment.
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dexterkronos · 3 months ago
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Slime Rancher x TMA?
Okay but seriously, imagine if Jon and Martin commit MAG 200 and just end up on Slime Rancher's Far Far Range. What then?
(Welcome to your lecture on why my abilities to cook have been restrained by divine ordainment [irl responsibilities])
How It Would Work
Mistaken Identity as their alt selves or assuming the lives of their alt selves as they have completely replaced them
They both have separate farms on the Far, Far Range on opposite ends, and don't know where the other exactly is (they both think they're on distant islands to each other lol).
Martin becomes very adept with Slime wrangling in particular, but still remains an effective slime rancher in the ways of taking care of them. He adopts a particular Tabby (unbeknownst to him an escapee from Jon's ranch) and calls it 'Merry', and Merry stays by his side at all times.
Jon is very particular about only owning docile slimes like Pinks, Tabbies and Puddles, with a lot of his slimes being mixes with Tabbies because cats. He makes a sole exception for ONE Crystal-Tabby that he calls 'Calcite', who becomes a bit of a ranch defender Largo. It is so picky about what it eats or absorbs that there is zero risk for him to become a Tarr.
Jmart end up finding each other when Jon goes chasing after a Tabby-Phosphor with Calcite in an attempt to get it somewhere dark before daylight. Both are overjoyed to see each other obviously and immediately work together.
They have a teleporter between their ranches and help each other out with random tasks. They obvs can't combine ranches now, but they do lots of sleepovers at each other's ranches lmao,
Jon ends up going into Slime Sciences because duh of course he would lmao. He's the reason both farms have cannons to repel Tarr slimes.
They get therapy before even so much as thinking about advancing their relationship further because holy hell these dudes need it. (Therapy is already in swing at the start btw, I'm not delaying their roads to mental stability)
Other Info below the keep reading tag so we don't flood your feed lolol.
Relationships with Canon Slime Rancher Characters
Martin is the one who usually deals with Slime Market stuff because people like BOb exist.
Martin befriends Thora easier than anyone else due to her kindly nature. Let's give the man a nice older lady figure in his life to be a mentor.
Jon become notably friendly with Viktor Humphries, and they collaborate often since Jon has Martin and his own interest in slime collection to help him.
Both find Mochi a bit like Melanie at first, but warm up to her when they start to learn more about her (both can relate to strained relationships w/parental figures, especially Martin).
Both find BOb complexing and typically try to keep conversations curt lol.
Obvs because I'm not replacing Beatrix, they do meet her and are pretty neutral to her. Nothing extraordinary and nothing unextraordinary since Beatrix is more a proxy for the player so I can't gauge much on how she'd be without our interference.
Ogden & Hobson are also a neutral relationship but that's just because I can't think on how either of them and Jmart would work lol.
Likely Queries
Fears When?: No Fears in the Slime Rancher universe because I say so. The Fears just don't have influence here anymore haha. That means Jonah Magnus stays deceased.
How is Jon not like, barely sane or whatever (referencing the 'how much of me is the Eye stuff')?: Well, they did merge/overwrite their Slime universe counterpart so like... e.
Does Jmart retain Fear powers?: No. Maybe. I'm not sure tbh I think if anything it'd be subtle things. EG: Jon being able to identify certain things changed in an area or have a better grip on understanding body language. EG2: Martin being less noticeable when he wants to be or just having a bit of cold resistance.
Why can't they move in together?: Because I doubt the 7Zee Corp would be able to find a buyer for either ranch too quickly, but I could be wrong. Idk I like the idea of them having space of their own separate from the other since those dudes need therapy and time to work on themselves.
Do they look like themselves or their alternates?: Alts with the exception of MAG 200 injuries. The Alts just look like their S1 selves lmao.
SlimeRancher!Sasha, SlimeRancher!Georgie & SlimeRancher!Tim? Yes. None would properly notice a difference in Jon because he's more just their Jon with some weird ass baggage attached. Martin would DEFINITELY be something they'd note as 'unusual' but ultimately set it down to 'omg he's matured so fast having to deal with Jon lolol'. Sasha and Tim would be fellow Ranchers on another area nearby and Georgie either stayed on Earth or is a Tarr Wrangler with SlRa!Melanie.
What about the other Magnus people? Not sure, defs think SlRa!Melanie would exist as a Tarr Wrangler w/Georgie. SlRa!Elias would likely be on Earth still and just living his Pre-Eye life lolol. Sl!Ra Gertrude should be a rancher elsewhere that's just died but other than that idk.
Do any other Slime Rancher alts get their other worlds memories? Maybe Georgie and Melanie but only via 'oh wow that was a funky dream haha' since they were in the Panopticon. Elias doesn't count towards this since there was no more Elias by the time of the series' beginning (source: MAG 193).
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iheartchv · 1 year ago
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CAN WE HAVE MORE ABOUT THIS SILLY RABBIT?
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(JUST LOOK AT HIS SMILE HE'S SOOOO CUTEEEEE 🥹)
Sure thing 😊 (he's so cute, I agree ❤ also I'm sorry if it feels rushed, I still have IRL stuff going on that is mentally draining, but I am trying to find ways to destress; I'm not fully ready to come back to being on tumblr like I used to)
🐇Usagi x Y/N imagine/HC🐇
You meet Usagi for the first time during Christmas time when the Turtles and Splinter invited their friends over for Christmas dinner
Leo had introduced you to him
"Oh, so you're the Y/N talked about?"
"It's an honor to meet you."
"Leonardo-san is lucky to have a friend like you to take care of him."
You blushed at his compliments, thanking him.
Honestly, Usagi wasn't hard to get along with
He was similar to Leo, having honor and right morals
As you got to talk to him, you wanted to be around him more
When it was time to leave, Usagi was such a gentleman:
He took your hands and and gave the back of them ... and your fingers a kiss... something he learned about etiquette from Donnie
However that didn't stop your heart from beating hard and your cheeks warm with blush
Next time he came back to visit, you showed him around New York, in the city you lived in (in a disguise of course)
There was so much to do, and see, but so litttle time
Whatever you did with Usagi, he loved every minute of it
You took him to your favorite spot
It was a place to think, meditate, be with yourself and your thoughts. And it was high enough from anyone interrupting you
Usagi watched the sunset with you
"I liked spending some time with you today"
"I wished there was more time... I don't want today to end..."
You would look over at him every now and then to see him stare out at the horizon
You looked away when you seen his eyes meet yours
However you don't catch the small smile that crossed his face a few times...
As he too looked back at you as you looked ahead at the warm colored sky
Before he entered the portal back to Second Earth, you gave him a hug
And he hugged you back
It felt nice
Made you feel so warm and fuzzy inside
"Till we meet again... Y/N."
He said with a smile
And the way he said your name made your heart skip a beat
That night, you couldn't stop thinking about him...
When sleep finally took hold of you, you relived the memories of the day along with a few thoughts of your subconscious mingled in...
You dreamed that you gave him a sweet soft kiss instead of hugging him
And that he gave you one back
Morning rays broke through your window, waking you from dream land
However the dream stayed in the back of your mind, and you would be daydreaming
When was Usagi coming back...?
Hope this will satisfy for now 😁😊🐇💙
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@turtle-babe83 @tmntspidergirl-deactivated20230 @leosgirl82 @angelcatlowyn @annaliaandtheturtles @pheradream-15 @cowabunga-doll @bluesakurablossom @darksaphire2002 @foreignbrunette @greenprincess @half-shell-bo @lady-maria-the-wolf225 @moonlightflower21 @narwals14 @nikitaboeve @nittleboo @raphaelsrightarm @southernblossoms @thelostandforgottenangel @white-masked-beauty @roxosupreme @kawaiibunga @captain-kinda-trash @yumefuusen @sivy-chan-blog @artsolarsash @crazedtmnt @raisin-shell @sacredwarrior88 @leosgirl82 @egg-on-the-run @ashleighclark98 @dilucsflame33 @tkappi @happymoonangel @allybutton @android-cap-007 @androidships007 @turtallyawesome @doctorelleth @crazysarah-98 @phd-in-fuckery @angelicdavinci
Let me know if you'd like to be/don't wanna be tagged💖
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nightlyquestionnaire · 5 months ago
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Hello. I am not quite sure exactly how to compose myself here.. But I am hoping to meet new people. If that is even wanted of me, of course.
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//This is a Darkrai irl blog. I am very new to all of this.. So I apologize for any mistakes! (Please interact!! Don't be scared!)
Read more about this blog down here! vv
Mun is fictionkin and identifies as Darkrai—So I don't necessarily go "out of character", but I will speak in third person for the sake of this.
Darkrai uses he/it, and I like to view things as everything being canon, so I don't have a specific thing I like to stick to (Feel free to do whatever you want with the canon.) However, that being said, all actions deemed "evil" were not solely for that purpose— Darkrai is simply very mentally unwell due to all of the things he had to endure throughout his life. Such hatred towards yourself can become too much.. And he believed it best if everyone else knew his pain, or, simply, better if he ended the universe in its entirety. So, never will he be purely "evil".
For a basic default canon, Darkrai is past all of this.. And is trying to be kinder to himself and understand the world around him more, rather than fear it. This means he's pretty oblivious to most customs and expectations involving social interaction.
I am autistic.. And I completely hyperfocus on very small aspects of a fandom, so.. I know a lot about Darkrai, and not much about Pokemon itself. It would be majorly appreciated if anyone was interested in befriending me.. To give some pointers, or ramble about it! I am very willing to listen :)
I'm okay with mostly anything besides sexual asks and rps. Darkrai is genderless. Romance is okay, though. (if you're not weird about it)
So..
Any kind of Pelipper Mail: Open
Hate anon: Open
Any kind of Musharna Mail: Open
Magic Anons: Closed (I'm still not entirely sure what it even means..)
Main: @crimfckeyt
If I am not currently shifted as Darkrai, I will likely be less active. Please keep this in mind :)
Feel free to reach out on other platforms as well. I like all forms of roleplay!
Tags:
#🌻 - In character
#ooc
#Keepsake - things that Darkrai likes/appreciates and wants to keep
#Info - any kind of information
#Ask game - Send in an ask from the reblog!
#Muns art - my Pokemon related art
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atla-recluse · 11 months ago
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About That One Moment in "Another Five More Short Graybles":
Content warning: A few references to abuse and abuser-victim dynamics, plus some images/artwork that some may find very disturbing or triggering.
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Conclusion:
I truly believe that this moment, and maybe more-so what likely happens after it, are the moment that solidified Lemongrab 1's complete shift into tyranny and unlimited cruelty. When I say that, I'm not just talking about the toy and his anger over it. It's not and was never (just) about the toy (seriously, this dude could and would have snapped over anything).
It's about OG LG's increasingly intense need for control over everyone and everything and his ever-growing layer of extreme rage over...stuff from the past...that is always there. Taking is a bit further, it's actually about how LG viewed himself and his impulsive/compulsive behavior at that point.
Background:
So, a lot of people seemed to have thought/still think that LG is lacking in self-awareness, but I think this couldn't be further from the truth. LG is hyper-aware of himself and his actions. He knows there's something "wrong" with him. He (and those around him) just don't know what. So everyone in and out of universe find it easier to just be vague about the problem or not touch it at all.
I'll tell you what I think is wrong with him though: He's can't figure out how best to showcase empathy with others, or even fully decide if he truly wants to at all, so he typically just chooses not to.
(Also, he seems to be naturally more persnickity and "intense/passionate" than others, including LG2 even. At least when it comes to his beliefs and convictions. People irl who are like that can imagine, because of how we sometimes come across to others, even if we're trying to change.)
Wait, what? I'm actually arguing that LG1 is/was capable of empathy, you ask? YES I am. Because he was. The moments were small, but they were there and were very significant to those who care. OG LG had what I'd call "limited" empathy as well as "optional" empathy. He wasn't the best with others' emotions at initial meetings but he could understand concepts like that of insult, bonding (but couldn't do it himself at first) and not wanting to die or get hurt. (I might finish a post that explains some examples in the near future.)
He also chose who it was he would bestow his empathy upon for random and not-as-random reasons. In this sense, he's not that different from many of us. I also feel as though he could have had his sense of empathy increased and smoothed out with proper nurturing. But as we all know, that didn't happen.
Conclusion Expansion (1):
We see throughout his arc, that LG1 increasingly worsened over time. Not solely though. For a blip of a period, he seemed to be improving, happy even. That period was of course when he was still close with LG2. Then, the fight happened.
Slight (Noteworthy) Sidetrack:
It was so violent, even without showing us the gore. I'm actually a little shocked that there are people who think that scene is mainly or even only hilarious. It's terrifying to me whenever I see it, to the point where I often prefer to avoid it. That scene, to me, was yet another example of how much of an abuser LG1 has become, since his physical or emotional abandonment and/or since his creation. Is that obvious yet? LG1 was not just "lol random11!! hahaha craziiii!". He was insanely abusive. He was arguably abused himself, but that doesn't change the fact that he was an abuser, too.
He even showed all the classic signs of an abuser as far back as "You Made Me" but, really, it was truly first shown in "Too Young".
Conclusion Expansion (2):
His brother (Which I think was meant to be seen as being to LG1 whatever you wanted to see him as, homophobes!) along with Lemonhope, got the worst of it and perfectly illustrate two different types of lives and mentalities of many abuse victims.
One becomes, in a way, very self-centered and wants to escape no matter what, but stops thinking about what the rest of his family may be going through, also. The other wants to help others going through the same and won't leave them behind until the they have escaped on some level, even if it kills him (assuming he had the option to leave).
And tell we don't know plenty of irl examples where other families also went through an older sibling or partner taking advantage of and mistreating a younger sibling or partner. (Don't think too hard about the LG's being "brother-lovers", alright? It's all symbolic, anyway.)
Now a big question I and likely others have is this: Is he really "just like that?"
Frankly, I think he partially or fully either inherited it or learned it from his experiences. Or someone else... But I digress.
So yeah, I don't believe LG was just/solely born that way. Something about him changed sometime after he was born, I feel. But again, I can't quite say what because it was left ambiguous.
When he attacked his best friend for the first time and in such a gruesome manner... Well...ask yourself how that scene probably continued for the two of them? We actually saw the least scary part. Here's what I now headcanon as being the "right after":
LG has always had issues with his view of self and it causes him much pain. He doesn't know how to express the problem, so he basically just spazzes out. He seemed to have improved once his brother/partner came along, but in fact, this was only an illusion.
LG never properly healed from his trauma or bad habits, because no one—not himself and certainly not others—worked with him to treat and eventually heal that trauma and reverse those bad habits. (It doesn't mean they didn't want to, though.) It was only a matter of time before he lost it on his brother and people over something petty. Two beings can never be exactly the same anyway, "twin" or not.
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(I'm not sure what the name of the artist who made this is. It's an amazing and very emotional piece, though.)
So with those awful images in mind, I think LG1 after devouring most of his own partner, may have paused for at least a moment, as LG2 managed to crawl away and look at him with such fear and hurt (perhaps looking like a reflection of himself) that LG1—if his self-awareness was on 100 that day—looked back at the mess he'd made of LG2's body and how their relationship would never be the same now, and decided "Haha wow...I AM a monsteerrrr!!!!".
And from there, he decided to just lean into the persona completely. After all, what did he have to lose? What important figure in his life up to this point didn't see him that way, anyway? Now even the partner he once loved and who once loved him, did too. Might as well accept it and just solely act like what everyone already knows him to be. Which to LG means just act like his usual self, btw. Control freaks like him can only relax for so long...
And that, everybody, is why that scene in AFMSG is so significant; and imo, devastating.
It should also be noted that despite what we see LG1 do to LG2, that he doesn't completely devour him (why, we don't know) and that he gave him (likely created for him) a tool that would allow him to still move around and didn't give him a shock collar. So LG2 is still a cut above the others in LG1's mind, it seems, but that doesn't mean that things hadn't reached rock bottom for them. They just had further to go, is all.
LG1 clearly no longer pedestalized LG2 anymore (and vice versa) and on some level likely blames LG2 for how he himself chose to react (pretty on-brand for both of them). Hence why, like some abusers, he seemed to now be withholding affection from LG2, wouldn't hear or accept LG2's own thoughts and opinions, (may have) starved him and why he pushed him down into and kept him in a subordinate position (something we once actually see him physically do to him at the dinner table).
Oh and here. Have another self-aware Lemongrab, far beyond post brother-attack:
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This wild lemon man knew he was the monster/villain of the story at this point. 🍋 🥲
"Looking for something?
Well, you found me; Fat Lemongrab." - Original Lemongrab
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In-System Relationships
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Sorry this took so long. We’ve been really excited about this one. Next comic will be about signs that were missed. Bonus points if you can guess the sources of any of our fictives (I think one is pretty obvious if you know the source).
Unrelated to DID: My Very Good Friend @petticoatedmouse made a Discord server for people who like sewing. No particular level of experience required.
Here is the link:
[Image description:
Note: Their identities are listed because they are holding their flags in the comic.
First image, panel 1: A grey background with two people, Jenny (she/her), a fictive, who is demisexual and pansexual, and Omara (ze/zir), who isn’t an introject, but based parts of their appearance on a video game character. Omara is sapphic and has an unlabeled gender. The caption reads “In-system relationships… …quite a complex phenomenon.”
Panel 2: A pink background with the outline of a red heart and the captions, “So complex, in fact, that we can even feel the attraction on the outside. But only if the alter experiencing attraction is fronting or co-conscious.”
Panel 3: A grey background showing Worlds (she/they), a lesbian introject (who is also a vampire), and Kelly (she/her), a bisexual factive, holding hands. The caption says, “Sometimes, there are very much like out-of-system relationships.”
Panel 4: Worlds, whose bat wings are now visible, is flying through space with Kelly on their back. The captions are in white boxes and they read, “Other times, not so much” and “Yeah, I don’t think singlets typically fly through space (our innerworld is in space) on their partner’s back.”
Second image, panel 1: A sea foam green background with the words, “Of course, not every headmate wants this. We just have a lot of in-system relationships.”
Panel 2: A stage with a keyboard, microphone, and part of a drum set visible with a grey background is shown. Two alters are standing on it, Bay (she/her), a fictive who is ambiamorous and omnisexual, is standing by the piano looking at Sodium, and Sodium (she/her), an ambiamorous lesbian, is standing by the mic looking at Bay. The caption says: “They can be just as complex as out of system relationships… (yes, we have a stage in headspace where we perform whatever we’re listening to IRL).”
Panel 3: Captions say, “…and just as full of love.” and “While we have several polyamorous and ambiamorous headmatss, we don’t have any throuples or other with more than two partners. Systems that do have these are absolutely valid though.” Sodium is shown sitting on a grey bench on a grey background with another factive, Radium (she/her), who is demiromantic, demisexual, and trixensexual.
Panel 4: A sea foam green background with the caption, “They are very important in our system. When partners spend time together, it improves our overall mental health.”
Third image, panel 1: A sea foam green background with the caption, “This gets more complicated with introjects. Sodium and Radium are factives from the same source, but they aren’t dating IRL, which is a bit awkward. And yes, it’s valid to have factives who are dating IRL. We just don’t have any.”
Panel 2: Caption: “With fictives, it’s a little different. You may be fan favorites or even canon. Or you may be an unpopular ship or not canon (valid as long as there are no problematic elements) (no, they’re not getting married, this is how they dress in source).” It shows Jules (he/they), a bi demiboy, and Alicia (she/they), a pan girl (both fictives) on a grey background, looking at each other.
Panel 3: Caption: “And yes, it’s also valid to have fictives who aren’t dating their source-partner. Whether that’s because you don’t have an introject of them…” Cristina (she/they), who is pan, is shown on a grey background, saying, “If we had an introject of him, and he asked me out, I’d say yes.”
Panel 4: Caption: “…or because they’re simply not attracted to them (although in this case, we don’t have an introject of him either- thank goodness).” Eugenia (she/any), who is pan, and Mercedes (she/they/he), who is non-binary and straight (we chose to include that because they aren’t cis), are shown on a gray background saying, “Ewwwwww!”
Fourth image, panel 1: A sea foam green background with the caption: “Of course, in-system relationships aren’t for everyone.”
Panel 2: Rhombus (they/them), who is gendervoid, agender, and aroace, is shown on a grey background, with a caption and arrow next to them that reads, “Not interested in any kind of relationship.”
Panel 3: Three alters, Inflexible (they/them) (introject), who is lesbian, oriented aroace, and bellusaroace, Grey (they/he) (introject), who is non-binary and aroace, and Jayde (they/them), who is oriented aroace, pomosexual, and liagender, are shown on a grey background. Caption: “All three are interested in QPRs, and all three have experienced tertiary attraction towards people in the outerworld, but they are not interested in each other.”
Panel 4: A sea foam green background with the caption, “Especially when what you want is on the outside.”
Panel 5: The hosts, Ao (ey/eir) and Ruby (she/her) (captions say to check our first comic for their labels because there are a lot of them)!are shown on a grey background. The caption next to Ao has an arrow and says, “Has feelings for a singlet.” The caption next to Ruby has an arrow and says, “Has feelings for a different singlet.”
End image description]
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bandedbulbussnarfblat · 9 months ago
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ok, so in this one fic that i'm gonna write, Louis and Lily are going to be Claudia's biological parents. just bc i wanna. but then i had this thought:
what if they actually were?
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From what we know of the shows timeline Claudia is born in 1903. Papa de Pointe du Lac (I refuse to call him Daddy du Lac bc what the internet did to the word daddy. like, I'm from the south y'all. That's what I call my dad/father/old man. Or dickhead occasionally, but like, affectionately. Whoops, I'm rambling.) dies sometime in 1905.
I can imagine he's been sick for awhile, if only because the de Pointe du Lac's seem like the kind of family to have enough money to afford pro-longed health care. Hold on a sec.
26. That's the number you're wondering about, btw. How old Louis would be when Claudia was born. I know some of y'all might be trying to do the mental math, and imma save you bc math is evil. (we aren't supposed to tell you this working in education, but it's just like the worst. you have to stack numbers in your head and think about only one thing for a really long time--and i'm adhd in case you couldn't tell.)
Anyway, back to where I was. Up until a certain point, Louis could put off having had a serious girlfriend, or been seen visiting the brothels. First off, he's a good Catholic boy, so he gets a little leeway. And of course, there's Paul he's gotta look after. Then his daddy gets sick, so he's got shit to manage.
But a certain point he starts to feel overwhelmed, and he's at that age where he expected to start looking to settling down. So he does what all men at that age do to let off steam, and he gets a sex worker.
maybe there was something special about lily at the get go, or maybe louis just chose at random. but he got lily and they fucked. it might have been a sad sort of fucking, but you know, louis gave it his best. (he might even have enough enough of a gentleman to see that they had a happy ending. it's just the polite thing to do.)
and maybe he decides to really vent about what's bothering him. and the sex was meh, but the talking was nice. and over time, they faze out the fucking portion altogether. and lily becomes more than just a sex worker he pays for companionship, but a confessor, a priest to confess to all that he can't to his other.
but claudia could have been conceived during one of those earlier visits where louis like, had to establish his straightness. it would have been easy to hide in the early months before lily started to show. and she could have easily said another client got her pregnant. But like, in the hypothetical, she could have been pregers with louis' baby, birthed it and left it with whatever family member she could get to take it. aka the mean auntie.
(now like, irl, she'd be like, grabbing this opportunity by the throat. but this is the hypothetical, so roll with me.)
lily wouldn't want to tell louis she was pregnant with his child. she thought he'd try to 'do the right thing' and marry her, and the idea of her and her child being looked down upon by the rest of the family disgusted her. so she never told him. but by then she probably figured out louis was gay, and she did not want to be his beard indefinitely, having to stay all loyal and true to louis while he fucked guys
so like papa du lac dies and now lily can't just pop out like, surprise, i'm his baby mama. except you know, in the slang for the era. so lily keeps claudia hidden. and means to eventually one day tell louis.
(and you know, being the only girl that Louis sees, people probably see him as like his--jfc, idk how to convert this from trailer trash, but it's like where if you're with a guy and living together so many years legally you're married. except you're not it's just about--nope. I'm not going do it and go off on a tangent. Anyway, it's like whatever the cultural approximation is to that.)
but then there's this white french dude sniffing around her man who isn't technically her man but she's the closest thing to a therapist he's got and is also his trailer-trash-wife. so like, she analyzes the threat and works out the situation. Claudia can be Louis' daughter he never knew about. Lily can be his kept woman, or she could take some money and run away. It depended on whether he wanted Claudia to himself and lestat, or if he wanted to share with her. or if he wants claudia at all.
she lestat reads her mind when he visits her one night, and is like, fuck i do not want to have kids. so he kills her bc hey, if she's dead, no problem. (or maybe he vamps her in agreement that she never see louis again and goes somewhere far away to start a new life. i know it doesn't make sense, but i like to imagine a world where lily lived. escapism is fun sometimes)
is this theory insane? yes? but is it impossible? no!
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(I use this as reference a lot. But mostly the pdf version i have downloaded bc my internet is a fickle bitch sometimes. So it's probably, like behind on updates with the new trailers.)
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bitter-limelight · 2 years ago
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Hi!
Since you're a expert of Daniel, I'm curious does he have an mental illness? For me, while reading it feels like hints through out the books that he does..If so, what do you think its?
Hello anon! I'm always down to pick Daniels brain!
I think first and foremost the obvious answer here is Daniels substance abuse disorder. He's canonly dying of alcoholism so that's pretty striking. Second most obvious is whatever he has going on after he's turned and through till modern day. I don't subscribe to the new theories that Marius can't be trusted and Daniel was never sick. To me that's pretty ableist to deny that Daniel was obviously very ill, and from QOTD onward, way before trains, though since we're speaking of a madness that seems specific to vampires I'm not sure what I would call it. An obsessive disorder?
I also put forward the idea that Daniels mental state deals a lot with trauma. He's a queer man having grown up in America in the fifties and sixties, where being queer was categorized as a mental illness. He would have been prime age to be one of the last brackets called to serve in Vietnam. The cold war was A Thing, growing up under the threat of annihilation. They're the worst fucking generation but boomers went through some shit man. Then of course there's the trauma of Armand just.....being Armand, being "born to darkness in the midst of a storm-" I would say Daniel very likely has PTSD, perhaps even c-ptsd due to the repeated and ongoing issues.
I see Daniel as often depressed or anxious but not specifically having depression of anxiety, as an aside. To me he has a lot of irl reasons to be depressed/anxious as opposed to clinically so, which doesn't need to have an outside reason. Addiction, and trauma are my armchair diagnosis for Daniel but I'm definately not a doctor. But Daniel also isn't real so we can read into him whatever we want actually!
What do you think?
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patrocool · 2 years ago
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i would love to hear about pekka rollins:( torture fic, honey in your ears, spice in your mouth, slaz crack fic, and trying to change!!!
ooooh okay, so!!
pekka rollins:( torture fic is a rewrite of one of my 'verses from band-aids on our bullet wounds (chaps 21, 25, and 31 i think?) that has been expanded a Lot. it is now 15k words with 6/18 planned chapters written entirely. its @randomcat1832's fault that it is now so long. in this fic, kaz was taken by rollins and tortured for six months. he ends up blinded and Very Fucked up and traumatised, the the fic is over the course of roughly a year after being rescued as he slowly heals and becomes himself again. also trans kaz for the win:)
honey in your ears, spice in your mouth is a companion to my sick fic, and i hate myself every day that's dealt that i couldn't comfort you, where kanej have a fight, inej leaves on the wraith, and kaz ends up getting deathly sick, all in kaz's pov. honey in your ears is inej's pov of all of that!!
slaz crack fic is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well. if you know me irl please dont read this. the fic is basically what if,,,, the slat,,,,,, fucked kaz,,,,, and also inej was there
trying to change is a short lil thing inspired by the mother mother song of the same name. it sits unfinished bc i thought it was bad but now reading it, i think it could actually be an interesting start to something. i just,,, dont have a plot for it. but basically, kaz is beating himself up for not immediately becoming Better for inej post-ck
snippets under the cut!
pekka torture:( fic
TW: implied past torture, extreme trauma response, a bit of racism, violence, poor mental state, all around Bad Time, and its in 2nd person!
Most of the townsfolk think Inej is your nurse. You know you should be angry and you think you are, but it feels muted. Distant. As if behind a thick curtain, or perhaps on a separate floor of a house.
(As if you were still in that cellar while your heart was out of your chest, far, far away while Pekka was too damn close–)
You consider using the knife strapped to your arm underneath your sleeve to take a stab at some of the particularly nasty commenters, but it feels more like a learned behavior, a routine you can fall back into rather than an urge in the moment. You think you might be so used to violence that it's become your default, and you hate that you even have to resort to your default when you should be angry. You should be furious–
But you’re not. You’re just numb.
-
honey in your ears, spice in your mouth
Once the letter was in her hands, Specht subtly nodded towards her captain’s quarters. He knew as well as she did that whatever was on that piece of parchment was important– and likely sensitive information.
She didn’t need to be told twice.
She barely even registered Wylan’s wax seal as she cracked it open to Jesper’s familiar scrawl.
It didn’t say much but what it did made her stomach plummet in the worst way.
Wraith,
KB is sick. Raging fever. Called-me-Jordie-again-and-didn’t-seem-to-know-he-was-wrong sort of sick. Don’t know for how long, finding medik.
He keeps mumbling your name.
-J
Within half a bell, the Wraith was heading towards Ketterdam with a vengeance with only the little dinghy sent ahead as a warning.
Tell him I’m on my way, was all she wrote on the return note.
-
slaz crack fic
cw: nsfw lmfao
No one understood Kaz like the Slat did. No one knew what he needed like it did either.
Kaz couldn’t stand the touch of another person, the very thought of skin against his repulsed him, but he was still a man with certain urges and, well. The Slat didn’t exactly have skin, now did it?
-
trying to change
tw: implied parental and child death (kaz's backstory), self hate
“What’s wrong?” She asked, looking him over carefully– he felt her eyes lingering on his still scabbing knuckles and the stiff way his leg was laid out. 
I missed you, he wanted to say. I didn’t have you by my side. I couldn’t do even the one thing you asked of me. I’ve failed you at the very simplest of things, things that Jesper had managed within days of knowing you and yet I still have nightmares about. I can’t do this, I can’t be what you want. I can’t be the man you want me to be– I only know how to be the monster the Barrel made me into.
He turned back to his books. “I’m fine,” he said, stiff as dry wood.
“You’re not,” Inej said, her words cutting through him like a knife.
(Like a plow.)
Kaz swallowed down a lump in his throat and his eyes found the date of the most recent log in his book. He hadn’t changed, and Jordie would never get the chance to. Because that was what it was really about, wasn’t it? That’s what it always was– he couldn’t even just move on with his life. He was forever stuck in this limbo between dead and alive, crumbling under the weight of his dead forever-13-year-old brother.
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witchcraftingboop · 2 years ago
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78, 88, 103!
78. What's your favorite sigil/symbol?
Huehue the cross
My familial background, of the non-practitioner and practitioner varieties, rely fairly heavily on utilizing Christian symbols and methods and such (like psalms, Saints, the bible, etc.). So at first, I was introduced to the cross as a symbol of sacrifice/triumph/adversity/loss etc etc, and it carried a transformative or bridging energy into my earlier involvement in all things spiritual. The best way I can think to explain it is like how a rosary will often be placed in/on fuentes on a boveda; to my understanding, this is done to honor and reach my ancestors, but also to further build the bridge the currents provide in such a way that the divine and material are brought closer together, ultimately building the heart of the table. Later, I viewed the cross in terms of crossroads and dirt paths as well, with the earlier associations carrying through. But really, to keep it short, crosses mean a lot in my personal practice, whether Jesus is on them or not.
88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?
I wouldn't say it's unique or "created."
On my mother and my father's sides of my family, I grew up presented by different ways of living. One called it witchcraft, another magick (yes, with a k, my older relatives are not beholden to the changing of times), the other life-- just life, not an allusion to it, you just live. My mother, when able/willing, was very open to and supportive of me calling my way of living whatever I so chose. Even now, my terms change day to day, year by year. So I think, if anything, I view my path as just that: a path. I am walking, and along the way, if I am in the right place at the right time, there have been resources available that helped me pick which routes to take. But in the end, I am still just walking and my path, though its course may change, is the same. I didn't create it in the same way that one person walking through the forest doesn't impress a path into the earth unless many more have come before them. And so it's also not unique. It just so happens to be where I am. I think this is probably how I've come to my current way of practicing; it's easier to be fluid and take things as they are and are not, for me at least, if I maintain this kind of mentality.
I've been asked things like this before, so my thoughts are a bit... involved, to be fair. But I think the narrative of "I created this path" is rather burdensome for me, and I feel that it discredits the influence and impact of my spirit court on how my path has changed over time. At times, it can feel less like I am choosing to do something and more like they have pushed a tower of stones upon the earth, and in my clumsy stumbling, I ended up where they thought I might want to or where I ought to have gone.
103. What is one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?
Well, I avoid discussing such things with them, so let's start there. Unless I'm galavanting through a terribly gaudy New Age shop, I'm very lowkey irl and will go out of my way to keep it that way (unless they enter my apt, but like why tf would they get that far and not know I'm deep in the pits already?).
So the only recent thing that comes to mind is my coworker who had asked me about a black rosary I was wearing. He happened to know I'm not religious, and he thought it was odd that I'd been wearing it for several days. I stick to the truth usually, so I simply told him it was for St. Cyprian's novena and upcoming feast day. I don't remember what he responded with (he says a lot of bs most of the time, so my brain just dumps it out like weekly recycling), but that's a pretty good representation of how questions by non-practitioners get answered, if I answer at all. Most of the time, I don't answer questions - practice-related or otherwise.
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queenofgraveyards · 1 year ago
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g you’re fr killing me with all that baby talk in ataraxia like im soooooooooo mentally far away from wanting a baby irl but you’re making me feel all types of baby fever recently but like minus the baby
and i need ivy to give h a baby asap!!!!!! like i can totally see her telling h she’s not made to work long hours and now that she’s experienced the stay at home girlfriend lifestyle that goes shopping for her family after brunch with friends i need her to just weaponize her spoiled baby girl tendencies. and i think harry would be even more excited than her cause that means shes one step closer to becoming his house wife and baby momma. he’d be all “of course my love and what about doing something during the day to keep your mind busy huh? maybe pilates? pottery classes? fashion design course? whatever you want my love!!!” and he’s totally doing that already projecting a future with ivy becoming a full blown soccer mom who goes to his office in the middle of the day bringing his lunch and to have sex before picking up the kids from ballet :’) i just want ivy to live her best life and harry is so gone for her he’s just nodding and happily footing the bills
ps dont think ive forgotten the housewife blurb you suggested a while ago cause i havent!!!!!!! somno won the polls yeah but just imagining the possibilities for that housewife blurb makes me 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
xxxxxxx 🥡 ily queen
you’ve honestly summarised it for me too like I loooooove the breeding shit and coming from bambi h? SO hot but I do not want a baby and I want to keep that shit so far away it’s not even funny but I’d let him talk that SMACK to me and it would get me OFF I won’t even lie haha and yah like ivy doesn’t even like children and she don’t want none of that shit but she’ll give him a child 😌 she’ll give him WHATEVER he wants and she’s aware that she’s wrapped around his finger she don’t care and h certainly doesn’t care he wants a FAMILY and he will pout at his wife until she gives him one 🤪 don’t you worry house girlfriend ivy is coming…and sugar daddy/daddy/breadwinner boyfriend h is coming…and he’ll find absolutely ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for her bc he wants her to be happy and as long as she’s giving him babies after babies she can do whatever else…also just thought abt how insane he’ll be when she gets pregnant and how he’ll go to every single appt she has for the baby (and even not just for the baby) in fact he’s the one BOOKING all the appts and they’re going to classes n he’s reading books and he’s talking to his mum all the time and his sister and he’s just so obsessed with ivy like EVEN MORE than he already is…she stops being able to do anything for herself (not that she does a whole lot now anyway lmaooo) okay sorry got side tracked that’s a whole diff conversation lmao oh YEAH im going to work that blurb idea into a chapter so don’t worry :-) i just need to decide if she’s quit her job n IS a housewife without the ring and he comes home or if they’re still working together n she just has a day off or something but it will be in there!!!!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH🩵
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alazyparallelworld · 2 years ago
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How did you meet your boyfriend? Is it a LDR??
oh-!! uhm, yes, we are long-distance. overseas, lol. our financial situations n visas n Worldwide Regulations mean we haven't met in-person yet… our plans keep getting pushed back for such-n-such reasons, but we got like. a Specific Goal this year, that'll coincide with other reasons for him to be in the states. etc.
AS FOR THE, 'MEET CUTE,' he was aware of me beforehand. we - my 'best friend,' (one of them) who is also his best friend is… his ex… for a time, when i was in between clusterfucks of relationships whether For Real romantic or fp(s) on unrequited (@ me- i was not, interested in either of them. flips hair) crushes or whatever - i referred to them, as, my 'wife' in a tongue-in-cheek way
THIS CERTAINLY. MADE HIM REACT. he knew me prior, still, but calling his ex - 'my wife!' got his eye. and his ire. i, oblivious, of this one-sided enemy (jokes) … anyway, our mutual Best Friend at some? point? hosted a stream. quiet, not too busy, as it was a friends-only affair. i was either lonely, or bored, maybe some mix of the two, or felt as thought i was Neglecting my best friend due to my then-chaotic IRL life and housing situation. so, i, watched. i think only me n my bf were there, perhaps a third person dipped our during, etc.
he was polite enough. both of our schedules were free, he was unemployed, yada yada, i was in desperate need of Companionship, so we exchanged discords. and i remember. keenly. my first, guttural, Reaction was
"oh, i'm gonna trap his ass"
despite everything he has never been my. FP. favorite person. no, this was sort of… Pure, obsession, head-over-heels. to this day i cannot pinpoint what was the. Attractive feature? Why he 'stole my heart' [ouma JPN voice] or swept me off my feet. myb he had small, but numerous, Allures. or i was that needy, that any kind of - 'relatively normal' attention, that was not Unadulterated Delusional Infatuations as i was receiving on the side - caught my full attention. IDK.
later on, in an idle convo between us 3 (me, bf, aforementioned best friend) best friend was like… I had a feeling - you two would - essentially, played, matchmaker. Cupid. and i was ready to fall in love.
but he was. Is. different. he was very cautious about me, wary, as thru secondhand talkings he knew my life and my Personality was. unstable. Fluxing… that, to me, lol - i've always liked, puzzles, challenges, and whereas for anyone else i would [smash whatever dumb barrier separates] i played along. I didn't want to scare him away. I didn't 'hide' my - uh, insanity, rlly - or my poor mental n physical health, the latter of which was. RAPIDLY deteriorating. but i didn't unveil the, "I WANT TO HAVE A QUIET, INDOOR WEDDING, AND THEN WE LIVE BEHIND A WHITE-PICKET FENCE-" which is mandatory for my "i am deeply Enraptured/Obsessed/In Love with you." lmfao
REALLY… IK THIS SOUNDS, MELODRAMATIC BUT. i think in a month-or-two of us. Crossing the friendship line [n we were well beyond that line, the Too-Far-4-Friendship Event was a daily occurrence] he asked, tentative, for clarification. You don't… like me, right? Bc I don't feel the same way. I don't think I can, ever will, etc.
me, lying thru my teeth: Of course not. This is just for fun. :) We're friends!
TO BE CLEAR I WAS NOT HURT BY HIS. "I don't wanna date you! Ever! Sorry!!!" as i said he was wary! i knew not to push. give him time… and then another month-or-two later, he backtracked. "I think.. I'm in love with you…" and i, went, oh same. Have been.
he asked, if i already was, back during his establishing, "i don't like you That Way," and i said. Yeah! Really, from the moment I met you. THIS SHOCKED HIM AT THE TIME altho he had, Suspicions abt my actual feelings, thruout our pre-dating… he agrees that if i had been honest - "I do like you! A lot, actually! Since our first exchanging of sentences -!!" he would've bolted. Ran for the hills. he's quite 'tsun' or 'kwaa' about it, so don't tell him i told you that… /light-hearted
all this to say. I succeeded. I trapped his ass. [Shows off our interlinked chain] but, if you think about it, it's the vice versa… so often I'm mistaken for Amy Dunne to his Nick, in reality it's the op- [dragged off screen]
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