#men love to talk shit and distract others from the problems they create

[graveyarrdshift]

are you fucking stupid? asking for a friend. people have been using ai porn of men too (eg. shawn mendes, henry cavill and tom holland). but do you know who makes these pics and videos? men, not women. so guess who's the problem.

the way grown ass men are making artificially generated pornography of women and then they act like weren't doing anything wrong is so fucking sick. y'all should stop pretending that sex addiction isn't real. we live in a fucking dystopia.

[monsterblogging]

So, I think I finally sorted out why I find Karl Heisenberg kind of weird and incoherent as a character concept when I actually stop and think about it. It took me several weeks and two watchings of Why Do You Always Kill Gods in JRPGs? to finally put my finger on it, but here it is.

So, the Resident Evil franchise is a series that has been loaded with metaphor and allegory from day one. The games have talked about stuff like labor exploitation under capitalism, eugenics, theocracy, neoimperialism, and even how the existence of counter-terrorist organizations creates perverse incentives to make more terrorists so the organizations have something to do.

Now the thing is, these are all systemic issues. For most of the franchise, the focus has been on large scale systemic problems.

Resident Evil 7, however, changed things up a little. While systemic problems are still a thing, they're put on the back burner in favor of focusing on a toxic family dynamic. Specifically, it focuses on what happens when people internalize a loved one's irrational fears and unhealthy behavior patterns. The mold here represents the emotional bonds between these people, and the way it's rotted their physical home represents how it's destroyed the family as a home. As a concept it's pretty solid; the only issue here is the execution, which treats Eveline as if she's an unsympathetic monster when she's actually the primary victim here. But still, solid base concept.

Resident Evil 8 tries to do both interpersonal issues and systemic issues. It took a lot of cues from Resident Evil 4 (the "theocracy is bad, oh my god keep it out of the government" installment) and threw in a lot of systemic issue shit while also trying to be about a toxic family dynamic. For the most part, this works out fine.

You got Mother Miranda representing the power of theocracy. Lady Dimitrescu's here representing stuff like conspicuous consumption and worker abuse/labor exploitation. Donna's representing toys/entertainment used to distract people with unhealthy illusions rather than giving genuine enrichment. Moreau represents a neglected healthcare system. Heisenberg is here to be the military-industrial complex... or, is he?

The first three characters do a solid job of embodying actual systemic issues. Heisenberg, however, is kind of a mess because the game tries to code him as two completely different kinds of people: the militaristic leader, and the exploited blue collar worker/engineer/mechanic.

Many of Heisenberg's lines seem to suggest that he sees other people as means to an end; things to be weaponized. He frequently praises Ethan's body and wants to weaponize him against Miranda. He also wants to do the same with Rose. This is, of course, how the military as an institution tends to view people.

But one problem here is, Heisenberg doesn't dress the part. They could have put him in a ratty old officer's cap and jacket and given him a dozen swords (the weapon of the ruling class) to magnetically control. But instead, he dresses like a member of the working class and carries a fucking hammer. So while Capcom probably meant Ethan's rejection of Heisenberg's offer to come off as "fuck off, I'm not letting you exploit me!", it... sorta also comes off as "fuck you, I don't need no stinking unions!"

Heisenberg also complains that Miranda has humiliated him by putting him under her control. This might have been meant to reflect how actual militaristic shitheads love to complain that they're being humiliated and emasculated by not being allowed to inflict violence willy-nilly. But the problem is, Heisenberg's complaints are actually valid, because he's actually being abused by his mother figure. Your militaristic shitheads aren't being abused; they're just pissed off over not being allowed to go kill people wherever they feel like manifesting their destiny and becoming great men of history.

Additionally, Heisenberg just doesn't embody the toxic masculinity that your militaristic shitheads insist makes you a Real Man™. Yeah, his traumadumping is ill-timed and obnoxious, but he's actually talking about his trauma instead of just bottling it up. He's doing what toxic masculinity considers unthinkable - making himself emotionally vulnerable to another man. He's actually less aggressive than the other lords, since he doesn't actually try to kill Ethan until Ethan tries to kill him. Furthermore, in calling Chris Redfield a "boulder-punching asshole," he displays contempt for over-the-top displays of male-coded power.

And of course, Heisenberg making soldats could be read as a metaphor for how the military dehumanizes people by turning them into instruments of destruction, but the problem is that he's using people who are already dead. Sure, he's definitely been considering using living people, but the fact that this thought only comes after years of nothing else working and he's never actually done it says that he hasn't actually committed himself to this, so if that was the intention here... it also doesn't work.

So yeah, IMO Heisenberg ends up being a kind of weird, incoherent character concept because the game wants him to represent both the military-industrial complex and the exploited engineer/mechanic literally just trying to survive, and uh, these are two very different concepts and don't really work together in the same guy.

[livelovesimallways]

"The Weekend...." Pt. 2

(Previous)

When Sean decided to barge his way in here, the last thing I expected was for things between us to end up how they started. Although it may not seem like it, sleeping with my sister’s man was something I never thought I was capable of. I swear if he was anybody else, this wouldn’t be happening. But he’s not, and that’s a choice I have to live with. From the outside looking in, it seems like I’m a villain…A jealous, bitter, hater that’s hell bent on ruining her sister’s relationship. In reality, I’m not. Our history goes much deeper than anyone could imagine. Dana thinks I met Sean when she first introduced him. The truth is, I knew him before they laid eyes on each other.

We met at a small “get together” during my freshman year in college. He was there celebrating our school’s first March Madness Playoff victory since he once played. Initially I figured he came over to secure his, "Ho" for the night, so I casually brushed him off. His tune changed real quick after that, with him trying to assure me that wasn't the case. I let it slide and after a nice conversation, we exchanged numbers. To be honest, I didn’t expect much to come from it…Dana always told me that men like him were not going to give me the relationship I wanted. But shit, in the weeks following, that man swept me off my feet. Even though he asked me to keep everything private, I never felt like a secret. We spent that summer vacationing all over…From Sunlit Tides to Monte Vista, we went everywhere. He made damn good use of that NBA contract. Sean was it for me. He was my first real situation and what felt like my first love. Things were great until he started pulling away. Soon after that he told me we were done. I was hurt, but thankfully had school to keep me distracted. I stayed on campus most of my sophomore year, including winter and spring break. Going home consisted of Dana gushing over her new Boo and that was something I couldn’t handle. As the school year ended, they finally decided they were ready to go public. After all, it was his birthday and what’s a lavish party without a trophy standing by your side? She wanted me to meet him first so I reluctantly came home. As she was ready to leave he popped in to say hello. Humph, I tried so hard to hide the shock, embarrassment, and disgust from my face when I realized who was extending his hand. I swear, Sean had some mothafuckin nerve. Unfazed though, he continued as if he never knew me. Everything happened so fast that I could barely get a word out and before I knew it, they were gone. He eventually tried to explain, claiming that he didn't know we were sisters until earlier that day. Although it was believable with Dana's over protectiveness, absence on social media, and the fact that I hated talking about my family, the entire situation didn't sit right with me. I didn't know how to or if telling Dana was a good idea so I left it alone. Seeing them together hurt, especially with the way Sean ended things. But with school creating a nice distance, I was able to move on.

Everything was good. I had my life and they had theirs. Although Sean's place was our new home, I managed to keep myself separate from them for a while. But once they started having problems, humph, shit got messy. After arguments he came to me. It went from venting, to apologizing, to having regrets, to making his way to my bed. It's been three years since we first crossed that line. I don't get any joy from doing this behind my sisters back. And like I said, if he was anyone else. I fell in love with Sean first and as much as I tried to forget him, it never worked. Yesterday he finally admitted what I knew all these years...He loves me too. With Dana on verge of leaving, I don't know what will happen between us. One thing's for sure though...I'm about to put this lingerie set to good use.

"Well damn, you were just sleeping." *walking up closer* "You know, you don't have to get dressed. Security stays upstairs and outside."

"I know...I ain't worried about them."

"Okay?...Then why are you getting dressed? You leavin?"

"I don't want to but..."

"Then don't. If you turn around you'll have a good reason to stay."

It was impossible for him to hide his excitement when he saw what I had on. His smile, his dimples and his beat red face told me everything I needed to know. He was just as enamored as I was. Regardless of any conflicting feelings he had, there was no denying how he felt about me. I gave him a kiss that led to his hands planted firmly on his favorite spot. Shit, he needed that reminder. As things were progressing, with me unbuckling his pants, his phone started ringing. He ignored it, but after getting a text, he gave up, slowly pulling away.

"Just put it on silent Boo..." I said, gently stroking his dick.

"You know I can't..." *moves my hand*

"This is so fuckin stupid! Its only been two days since she found out about Julia and she's already calling. And you?...You don't make any sense! You finally admit that you love me but now you're doing this? You ain't have a problem fuckin me all over this room. What Changed?"

*Briefly closed his eyes* "I don't wanna hurt you Dee..."

"Well, it's too fuckin late for that! I don't get it. What happened to all your regrets? How you wish it was me? How long you've been in love with me? Be a man and stand on that shit! Dana will be fine, its not like you've been the best to her anyway. I can be your secret until you're ready. I clearly don't have a problem with it. Hell, you can keep doing your thing on the side too. Bitches like Julia don't scare me because you know where home is."

"Look, I would love nothing more than to have that with you but I can't. It's too risky and you know it. I'm a starter now and I'm trying to secure my biggest contract yet. That shit is gonna change my life, Dee. If it got out that we're together, it would be over. Controversy only works on tv and social media. I'm sorry."

"You always say that, yet you've risked it all every time we messed around. Moses knows. He hates me and definitely wasn't okay with it. What if he let it slip?" I said, as his phone rang again. "Oh my god, is she stalking you now?"

"No. She's waiting for me. I already talked to her when you were in the shower."

"So that's it? You're ready to spend the rest of your life with someone you barely love?"

"Don't do that. I never said no shit like that and you know it. You really think I put damn near six years into this without truly loving her? Come on now. She may not be the ideal choice, but it works. We can't always get what we want." *looks at his phone* "I gotta go. And yeah, about this...It ain't happening again. I fucked up, I'm sorry."

I hoped he'd turned around and realize the mistake he was making. Humph, but once that front door closed, I knew he wasn't coming back.

Just like the end of summer, freshman year, I was left heartbroken by his ass. I had been suppressing a lot while we went back and forth, only to have it all resurface yesterday. This love shit really feels different when its reciprocated...Damn it's not fair. After crying my eyes out, I grew angry. How does he get to play in our faces like this? I know I was wrong, but him?? I can't do these mental gymnastics again. I don't want to lose my sister but at this point it's gone too far. He did say "we all can't get what we want". She needs to know and he needs to pay. I'll find the right time to do it...Definitely before their wedding. Since I can't talk to anyone about him, music usually helps calm me down.

"Alexa, play Kill Bill by Sza..."

To Be Continued.......

Next

[companionjones]

Triggers of Desire

Pairings: Lord Asriel x Fem!Reader

Fandom: His Dark Materials (HBO)

Summary: You stop Asriel from doing something terrible. The two of you argue about it. Things ensue (though not directly resulting from the arguing).

Warnings: Cursing, SMUT, Mommy kink, Dom!Reader, Sub!Asriel

*******

    “Don’t you dare,” you warned.

    “Dare to what?” Lord Asriel questioned. “I know what my life is for, what I was born for. She is not a part of that plan.”

    You were shaking, livid. “Say her fucking name, you arsehole! Her name is Lyra. She is your daughter!”

    “Not in any way that counts!”

    “Stop pulling that shit, and take responsibility for once in your goddamn life!”

    “Responsibility?! I was responsible when I left her at Oxford when she was born!”

    “Yes, and that’s the only good thing you’ve ever done, and that’s including all this so called ‘work’.”

    Asriel’s face twitched. “Now you’re the one who dares--”

    “Were you going to kill that child?” you interrupted. Your voice was deadly calm.

    He clenched his jaw. He stayed silent.

    “If I hadn’t stopped you and told you of the ripple that I found, would you have killed Roger to create your own doorway?”

    “...You know I would have.”

    That ripped your heart in two. “Jesus Az.” You sat down on your bed. “When did you get like this? When we were in school together, you were ambitious, yes, but you...you had a heart. I know that much.” You finished, leaving out some details you didn’t want brought up in that moment. “And when you started dating Marisa...Dammit Az, I had never seen you so happy.”

    “Don’t bring up that vile woman now.” He was facing the fireplace then.

    You furrowed your brow. “I thought you loved her. Even after all those years...”

    “She sent her daemon to attack Lyra. Hurt her,” Asriel spat.

    “See? Was that so hard? Using her name?” you almost teased. “I knew a part of you loved that girl.”

    “Now who’s not using her name?”

    If you didn’t know any better, you’d say Asriel was teasing you, too.

    He paused for a moment. Asriel sighed. He sounded tired. “I don’t think I ever loved Marisa.”

    You couldn’t help but laugh. “Then why--?”

    “Because I couldn’t have the woman I truly loved.”

    Your heart stopped. “...Why bring this up now?”

    “Because,” he turned around to face you, “It’s why I’ve distracted myself all this time with my work. It’s why I’ve become obsessed.”

    “So it’s my fault now?” You were on your feet.

    “No!” He cursed. “It’s mine. It’s just...seeing you after all this time. Thinking about how Jeffery--”

    “Jeffery’s dead,” you blurted.

    Asriel looked as if he had just gotten the wind knocked out of him.

    “Two years ago, he went out on an expedition...and he didn’t come back. His men said that he had fallen from a cliff.”

    A heavy silence filled the space between you and Asriel.

    “What are you doi--”

    Lord Asriel had been crossing the room to you, and he cut you off by capturing your lips with his.

    You moaned at the impact. Asriel’s hands went to the base of your head and the small of your backs when you were too surprised to touch him at all.

    “Az--” you tried once the kiss broke.

    But he was already talking again. “I’ve wanted to do that for...so long, but you and him were already together by the time we met. When you got engaged as soon as we graduated, I...I thought I lost my chance with you forever.” Asriel kissed you once-twice more before his lips trailed down your cheek to your neck.

    Finally, you could speak, but you weren’t sure you were able. When your gaze met his again, only one question left your lips. You thought back to all the little moments you shared with Asriel. All those times you caught his gaze lingering on your lips. You assumed he caught you in the same way many times. “You thought it was one-sided?”

    Asriel’s eyes darkened. His pupils started to dilate. His gaze shifted back to your lips with a newfound hunger. “You mean...to tell me...all this time...that you’ve felt the same?” he grunted between assaults.

    “Always,” you gasped.

    “Then why not say something? I would’ve taken you away. We could’ve had a life together.”

    “At what cost? I was already with Jeffery. If I left him and ran away with you...Do you have any idea what that would have done to our reputations?”

    He growled, “I have never once in my life cared about my reputation. Had you said the word, I would have taken you away. Damn everyone else’s thoughts.”

    The feeling of Asriel’s mouth all over you and the words leaving his mouth had caused you to not notice he had been undressing the both of you. You didn’t notice you were naked until your bare back hit the bed. Asriel was already on top of you, lips trailing down again.

    “Wait.” The word left your mouth out of shock.

    He did so. His eyes met yours again. His head was hovering over yours.

    Again, a thick silence settled over the two of you.

    “Do you want me to stop?” He swallowed, causing his Adam’s apple to bob.

    It only took you so long to respond because the word had taken so long to travel from your brain to your lips. “No.”

    Asriel took a shaking breath. It was clear to you how much he was holding himself back. “...I need to hear you say it.”

    His eyes were glued to your lips. So were yours to his. You didn’t know if you could handle what was coming. “Take me, Lord Asriel.”

    He leaned down, and captured your lips again. He breathed in the scent of you, and on his exhale, Asriel’s hands traveled up and squeezed your breasts.

    You gasped, as the action took you off guard.

    Asriel used the opportunity to slowly lick your tongue before his mouth started making a wet path down your jaw to your tits.

    “Fuck, Asriel,” you moaned when his lips closed around your nipple. You could feel his tongue rolling over the sensitive bud. His hand was tending to your other breast, his fingers pinching and tugging at your nipple there.

    At your loud moans in response, Asriel’s cock twitched. You could feel the hard member pressing against the inside of your thigh. He was only getting harder. He switched what he was doing to your breasts.

    One particular shock of pleasure caused you to call out and pull Asriel’s hair, and he reacted with moan and an involuntary thrust into your thigh. You could feel his face heat up on your tits, and made a mental note of the button you could push (or in that case, pull).

    Eventually, Asriel left your chest. His mouth trailed down your stomach.

    “Asriel, what are you doing?”

    His eyes met yours as he sucked at the inside of your right thigh.

    You almost drooled at the sight of him between your legs.

    Asriel must’ve known exactly what he was doing to you, because when his lips left your skin, he wore a mischievous smirk that you had not seen since you were in school together. “I thought it was obvious.” He kept eye contact with you as he leant down and licked a long stripe up your cunt.

    You tried to keep yourself propped up on your elbows so you could match his gaze, but you fell back and your eyes shut tight almost as soon as Asriel made contact. The strangled moan that left your lips was the most lewd sound you had ever made.

    Asriel’s hand moved up and down your leg as encouragement. He only parted from your lips long enough to express to himself, “Oh god, yes.”

    The last person to interact with you like that had been Jeffery, and...Well, the two of you had grown apart toward the end of your husband’s life. It had been a long time for you. Besides time, you had always been jealous of Marisa for having Asriel when you couldn’t, but in that moment, you were jealous of the woman for a whole other reason. Asriel had a gift. You didn’t last long with his mouth working on you.

    “Asriel-Asriel, oh god. Oh god, yes. Asriel, I think I’m gonna...”

    Vaguely, through the deafness your pleasure caused, you could hear Asriel. “Come for me. Please, come for me.”

    As your stomach and legs tightened up, you grabbed a fistful of Asriel’s hair and tightened your grip as well.

    His moan against your lips was enough to send you over the edge. “Oh, god...oh Asriel...”

    When you came to, Asriel was already making out with you again. It took you a moment to put together what he was saying. “...need you...right now.” Asriel pulled away from you. “You need to tell me in this moment if you can’t do this because once I’m inside you, I won’t be able to stop.” One of his hands was playing with your breast while the other was sliding his cock up and down your folds, spreading the slick. As if things weren’t already slick enough.

    You tugged him down to you using the back of his neck. You ordered, “Fuck me, Lord Asriel.”

    It barely took him a second to comply.

    You gasped when he entered you, and Asriel groaned, “Oh, darling.” He scrambled to find your mouth to kiss.

    While catching your breath from his thrusts, “Good boy,” slipped from your lips.

    It seemed to knock the air out of Asriel. He snapped his hips into you. The man whimpered.

    “You like that?” The corners of your mouth turned upward.

    Asriel didn’t respond. He stayed buried deep inside you. He seemed to be working very hard at keeping his breathing normal.

    You had no problem taking control. Suddenly, you flipped the two of you over.

    “Are you my good boy?” you smiled. You leaned down to kiss Asriel as you humped his cock. Making your way down his jaw to his neck, you repeated, “My good, good boy...my baby...”

    As time went on, it got harder and harder for Asriel to hold back his moans and whimpers. One of his hands slid up to the back of your neck. “Y/n...”

    Licking up to his ear, you whispered, “You think you can call me ‘mommy’?” You knew it was a risky move. Your kink wasn’t for everyone, but there wasn’t anybody you trusted more than your Asriel.

    His cock twitched inside you. “Keep going, m-mommy, please...”

    That was music to your ears.

    “Good boy,” you encouraged, “You gonna cum for me? Hm?” You gonna cum for mommy?”

    He looked so helpless as he nodded.

    “Then cum for me. Cum for me, baby. It’s okay. Let go.”

    “Oh god.” He tensed up. “Oh my god. Mommy-mommy, I gotta--” Without warning, he flipped the two of you over and started slamming into you.

    You tried keeping up with him, but you eventually fell back in ecstasy. Your orgasm overwhelmingly coursed through you.

    Immediately after you, Asriel filled you, and collapsed on top of you. As he came, “Mommy!” desperately flowed from his lips.

    Hearing it like that was enough to tighten your walls even more than they were before.

    That word fell from Asriel at least 20 more times before you two were done.

    After, as the two of you laid together, Asriel eventually whispered, “I am so sorry, darling. I shouldn’t have...I should have never even thought...”

    “I know, baby.” You pulled yourself closer to him. “I know.”

    He continued, “I think...I want to try to to be a better father.”

    That made you prop your arm up on an elbow so you could look at him. You stroked his cheek with your thumb. “Are you sure, baby? This is something you have to be sure of.”

    “I know, darling,” he nodded, “I know I want this. And...I know I want you by my side.”

    Your heart skipped a beat. You smiled. “Yeah?”

    His happy face matched yours. “Yes, darling. If you’ll have me.”

    “Of course I’ll have you, baby.” You kissed him. “Of course I will.”

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, I have more fics on His Dark Materials over on my page. You should check it out. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

[fleetwoodmak99]

Long Past Dawn

Eric Draven x reader

This is requested from @sister-morticia "Hi!! Can I please request an Eric Draven x reader whump with lots of hurt and comfort/worried!Eric? I need some caring fluff! Thank you!! ☺️" I had so much fun working on this!!! I'll be posting a part 2 as hcs of the aftermath soon. It will focus more on the comforting aspects. Also I’m really sorry this is long. 

WARNINGS: Panic attacks, hyperventilating, serious wounds, gun violence, mentions of blood, depression, talks of deep sadness, death, resurrection, paranoia, explosions, and fainting.

SUMMARY: It has been a year since you lost your lover, Eric Draven. While you have managed to get by, it has been extremely difficult. After having a particularly hard night, you decide it might be a good idea to go for a walk to release some steam, only to fall upon a danger situation.

Its been a entire year since you had lost the love of your life, Eric Draven.

It was around Halloween. The leaves on the trees were starting to change from green to orange and yellow as the air turned cool.

Halloween used to be Eric’s favorite time of the year. Always making a big deal about it with lots of horror movie marathons and tons of candy. Now, you had none of that.

No celebrating, no watching horror movies all night, no eating a bunch of candy, no Eric.

Even though it had been a whole year since that dark night, it still haunted your every waking thought.

Every day seemed to bring a new struggle. The worst of it being at night. The pain of losing Eric broke you down to the point where you could do nothing but spend most nights crying.

Anxiety making itself known at every turn. Always worried that the men responsible for taking the life of your lover and leaving you for dead will one day realize you aren't and come after you.

Memories of that night plagued your dreams often. Seeing flashes of T-Birds gang breaking through the door of your shared apartment and attacking you while you were cooking dinner.

The panic consuming your chest becoming too overpowering as you relived that night over and over again. Jolting awake in a pile of sweat when it became too much. Feeling your stomach turn to the sickening thoughts roaming around in your head.

You tried to calm your thoughts. You really did. But the terror that filled your chest was too powerful.

A strong force making you leave the warmth of your bed in an attempt to ease your mind. Pacing around the room, completely lost in thought.

Are they going to come after me? Will they want to harm me?

The demanding thoughts running through your head was starting to cause a wave of nausea to wash over your body.

No. They don't know you are alive. They would have come after you if they had.

You were lucky enough to get Sergeant Albrecht assigned to your case. He was the only one on the force who was kind to you.

Albrecht helped you stay under the radar until you were able to get enough money to move far, far away. The main problem being that you couldn't find a good steady income that would get you out of this hell hole while not blowing your cover, creating the never ending cycle of being trapped in the city. Being doomed to live here forever with no escape.

Still, you felt an overwhelming ache in your stomach every time you thought of Top Dollar still being out there, controlling most of the violence in the city. Hoping that the brutality won't one day unleash on you.

Knowing that it went against the rules you had started following in an attempt to protect yourself further, you decided it might be a good idea to go for a quick late night walk. Noting the dangers of what you might be doing, but it was your last attempt to ease your anxieties and distract you from the pain.

Hoping that the fresh cool air will be a jolt to your system, you grabbed a light jacket and black high tops, placing it over your pajamas and venturing out into the night.

Stepping out of the safety of the apartment building and into the bitter cold. Feeling the tip of your fingers and toes already starting to turn into ice. Still, you were determined to complete your walk as it has always been a good way of distraction you from your intrusive thoughts.

With that being said, the streets of Detroit certainly looked different at night. Feeling a thick layer of sorrow and rage in the air. It being so thick it became difficult to breath.

Choosing to ignore it, you kept walking.

A smile spreading across your lips when you see a group of children in Halloween costumes running with bags of candy in their hands, laughing as they did so.

Curiosity taking over as to why children would be out this late on Devil’s Night. Seeing as you did much worse things when you were a kid, you let it slide.

Either way, you began to have doubts if this was a good idea, deciding it might be time to head back and hide from the world once more.

Turning around and walking the other way, you could already feel a wave of relief washing over you as you made your way back only for your heart to be ripped out of your chest when a booming explosion erupted just up the road. A burst of light blinding you as the ground rumbled.

The sudden event sending you onto the ground, holding your heads up to your head in an attempt to protect yourself from the eruption.

Trying your best to focus on what exactly was happening as the light started to dim into small flames and a bundle of smoke coming from an old abandoned building.

At first, you wanted to run the other way. Knowing that this was most likely the work of Top Dollar or some other big mob boss trying to cause some havoc in an already broken city.

Yet when you tried to get up, you remained planted on the ground. Your body being completely immobilized and without breath.

As you tried getting your strength back, you started to hear a faint scream coming from up the road. Your thoughts immediately going to the children you had seen giggling to each other just moments ago.

You tried remembering which way they had went. Hoping that they were far away from the building now engulfed in flames but after hearing more yelling, you knew you had to make sure no one was hurt or worse.

With a new found determination, you felt yourself starting to grow stronger, experiencing a rush of adrenaline fueling your body.

This time when attempting to get up, you were able to get onto your feet. Your legs still feeling weak, you forced yourself not to waste time and move towards the very thing you made you shake.

Getting closer to the fire, you could start to feel the heat coming from the flames. Inspecting the building, you couldn't see anyone inside. In fact, you couldn't see anyone at all.

You thought for sure the police or at least the fire department would be on their way considering it was a Devil’s Night tradition for the whole city to burn. Yet no one was there. It was almost unnatural.

You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard not a scream but groaning, murmuring and the collusion of masses coming from the back side of another building. 

With caution, you started to make your way towards the sounds. Leaning on another building for support, gaining distance from the heat.

Hearing the unknown sounds starting to grow louder and louder, you could see the silhouette of different bodies laying on the ground. You didn't know if they were dead or unconscious.

Deciding to grab a nearby wooden stick. Just in case.

Two men suddenly bursting in front of you, struggling against each other. They rolled around the dirt floor, one trying to get the upper hand on the other. Both eventually getting up and starting to throw hands. 

You couldn't decide whether to intervene and try to break them up or start running, but once again your body worked against you. Forcing your mind to turn blank and stay in place. Making you now watch the whole thing go down.

At first glance, you couldn't recognized who the men were yet you couldn't help the strange feeling that you were meant to be here. Somehow this was related to you. You felt it deep down.

You tried analyzing them as they continued, trying your best not to be seen.

One of the men was a lot shorter than the other and had greasy shaggy dark brown hair underneath a worn out black knit hat with baggy clothes.

While the other one taller, and more muscular. Mostly wearing tight fit leather. His dark brown hair was longer than the other one, resting just above his shoulders. Black and white paint covering his face as some type of mask.

His hits being more calculated and precise going against the others, who was becoming more and more sloppy by the minute.

As the two men start to taunt each other. Somehow neither seemed to notice you as you stood there in fear. Your heart sinking when you hear one of the men starting to speak. You recognized that voice, clear as day.

The short man was Skank. He was apart of T-Bird's gang, who worked for none other than Top Dollar.

Shit. You need to leave now.

Finally, you were able to slowly make yourself move backwards as your feet stumbled on themselves. You tried your best not to make any noise, not even risking breathing. You couldn't help your eyes from being glued to them.

"I-I know you. You're that guy we had to straighten out cause you and your partner were protesting Top Dollar's tenant relocation program. B-But you're supposed to be dead. We killed you, dead." Skank mumbled, slightly laughing in disbelief at the end.

This made you stop. Your body turning cold.

You knew exactly what he was talking about. Remember a few months before the attack, gathering other tenants to protest. But that wasn't what was making your nerves go wild.

It was who Skank was fighting with.

No. There was no way. He has to be talking about someone else.

You didn't even want to think of the possibility of seeing Eric again. Knowing that there was no possible way that could ever happen.

But why did he look so familiar? When you heard the strangers voice, deep down you knew.

"I guess not all things that die, stay dead." His voice was deep and raspy, showing off his classic sarcasm that reminded you of Eric before his death.

How could this be happening? There was no way that could be Eric. No way.

As your thoughts battled it out in your head as to if this was a dream or not, Skank began to laugh hysterically like he was losing his mind as well. Slowly starting to move his hand behind his back to retrieve the loaded gun resting on his waistband.

While you hadn't noticed, Eric did. Giving off an eerie smile before springing into action, darting right for Skank.

Not being quick enough as a gun shot ring out, causing you to let out a small shriek. Placing your hands upon your ears in an attempt to shelter them from the sharp pain booming through it. Dropping the wooden stick in the process. Closing your eyes to try and hid yourself, knowing fully well that it was useless.

Not being able to contain your breath anymore, you started to hyperventilate. Trying your best to get your breath under control but finding it almost impossible as it kept escaping you.

Not even realizing that the two men had turned their attention to you. Eric taking a second glance as he couldn't believe his eye. He was in complete disbelief that it was you standing right there. Eric assumed you died as well that night, seeing you there made his blood drain from his face.

As the pain in your ears started to die down, you slowly forced your eyes open. Blinking a few times before getting a clear picture as to what was going on. Seeing the two men wrestling to take control of the gun. Eric grabbing at Skank's face, trying to block his vision. Somehow Eric seemed completely fine for being just fired upon.

Was he hit at all? Was he hurt?

Panic fueling your body to run but when you looked at Eric, you knew that wasn't going to be possible.

Now you needed answers.

What was he doing here? How is he alive? How long has he been alive? A day? The whole year?

Not knowing if it was the sense of curiosity or the excitement of seeing Eric in the flesh that made your heart pound. Being completely convinced that this was all just a dream. 

Hearing another bang piercing through your ears once again, causing your body to flinch out of instinct. All this followed by a tight pressure coming from the side of your thigh. Even though it wasn’t painful, it was still enough to send your body to the cold ground. 

At first not realizing why until you began to see a pool of red liquid starting to collect underneath your leg. Knowing fully well now that you were Skank's target. Lucky for you, he has terrible aim. 

Hearing who you assumed to be Eric and Shank struggle against each other once again but you couldn't find the courage to look away from your wound.

Now feeling a strong burning sensation beginning to form on the right side of your thigh, pinpointing exactly where a bullet had ripped itself through your leg. Leaving a nickel sized hole in its place.

Quickly placing your hand on it, in an attempt to somehow ease the intense feeling that throbbed through your entire leg. Feeling a wet sticky substance slipping through your fingers.

Your body starting to jitter uncontrollably as darkness began to form around the edges of your vision. The world starting to go blurry around you.

A comforting hand suddenly resting on top of yours, causing you to jerk yourself back. Only for you to make eye contact with the worried gray eyes of Eric.

A sense of relief washing over you, a small smile resting on your lips. Quickly fading, when he applied a slight pressure to your injury, trying to stop the bleeding. Causing the pain to become more intense.

Your thoughts moving to Skank, hoping he was no longer a threat. You scanned the area, your sight landing on him running down the alleyway and disappearing as he rounded the corner of a building. Your vision starting to become more and more faint as you tried to focus.

You felt a gentle hand caressing your cheek, pulling your sight back to Eric.

"I need you to stay awake, y/n." You could hear the panic in Eric’s voice.

You tried to respond.

You wanted to tell him you were trying, that you missed him, that you loved him. Yet nothing but a slight whine came out.

The energy starting to leave your body as a dull ache started to form at the back of your head. Losing all control off your body as it went limp.

The darkness completely consuming your vision as your heart pounded.

Eventually not fighting it anymore and allowing sleep to take over as the world disappeared. The last thing you remembered was hearing Eric calling your name.

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Rick's daughter Melody cant help her curiosity about the man locked up in the prison cell. Being kept secrets from her father, she takes it upon herself to get to know Negan and one day sneaks into the cell to find him asleep with morning wood.]

SEMI SMUT

Negan and Melody

Rick never really allowed you anywhere near Negan. Hell, you never even saw Negan yourself up close and personal. Although you were twenty, your father still treated you like the little five year old girl he used to carry on his shoulders. It was frustrating at times, he always wanted to keep secrets from you about what was going on in the group and he always said it was to protect you. The only times you ever saw Negan he was tied up being led into the prison cell. Truth was, you didnt know what he had done that was so bad. Your father seemed to keep everything from you that involved anything serious. You looked out the window and saw Daryl pass Eugene the keys for cell, each night someone was on guard. Looking to the right you saw your dad heading your way and quickly pulled down the blinds. After you were told Glenn had died in an accident on a run a few months ago many things changed. Maggie left, everyone seemed more distant and it left you confused.

"Get ready for bed, Melody," your dad spoke low as he entered the house making you sigh.

"I'm not tired dad."

"Mel, it's getting late-"

"And is there something we need to be ready for in the morning?" You responded with sarcasm looking back out the window.

"Besides...you never told me what that guy Negan did."

"I told you that's not up for discussion," he insisted making you roll your eyes.

"Is anything up for discussion? Whatever, I'm sure what he did wasnt that bad if hes being kept alive." You got up from the chair and walked past your father as he looked down with a straight face. There was no way he could tell you the truth of what Negan had done. Your father tried to protect you the best he could and losing people was enough, he didnt want to leave you with images in your head.

Waiting to be sure that your father was in his room you quietly snuck out of yours. Your curiosity ate at you and you were tired of your father treating you like a little girl. Making sure you werent heard, you stepped outside and walked towards where Negan was held captive. Eugene was heading back to the cell with a tray of food for Negan. You knew itd be easy to get around Eugene regardless of what your father instilled in his mind. Creating casual conversation with Eugene and some jokes to break the ice you offered to take Negan his lunch. Right away he made a face filled with doubt.

"I dont know about that, Melody..I'm in charge of his cell-"

"Yeah but you're in charge of the entrance. Who's going to watch while you are distracted handing him the food?" Eugene raised an eyebrow in thought, he felt like you had a point.

"Alright but your dad cant know about this, he'll kill me. So dont take too long."

"Dont worry I got it," you assured him before taking hold of the tray of food and the keys from his hand.

You could feel your heart beating out of your chest, you were nervous yet so curious to know the man that was hidden from you. Unlocking the door you walked down a dark hallway before reaching the cell.

"Well its about time one of you fuckers remembered to feed me," you froze at the sound of Negans voice before stepping out of the dark hall and into the light, revealing yourself. Negan looked up as he leaned against the wall not expecting to see a young attractive woman before him.

"Well excuse my French, where the fuck did your pretty little self come from?" Negan looked you up and down observing your skin tight jeans and crop shirt. Right from the jump you found this man to be very intimidating, taking a deep breath you stepped closer to his cell and bit your bottom lip nervously.

"Um...my name is Melody.. I came to bring you your meal," Negan slowly stepped closer to the bars with a smirk on his face and looked down at the tray in your hands.

"I see that...so you're gonna put that down for me, sweetheart?" He spoke slowly with an enticing voice.

"Oh..um, yes" you smiled before slowly bending down not noticing Negan tilt his head eyeing the curve of your ass as you slid the tray beneath the bars.

"Very nice.." he murmured low to himself before you got back up. Your eyes met his and you suddenly didnt move, his eyes were alluring and inviting all at once. Nervously clearing your throat you backed away brushing your hair back.

"I gotta ask, princess. What's a fine young woman like you doing alone with me here in my prison cell?"

"I wanted to see who you were...I'm not allowed to know things so-"

"So you're telling me no one knows you're here?" He raised a brow getting closer, although this man was behind the bars you still found yourself feeling nervous.

"No...everyone treats me like a little girl. I'm twenty years old and I'm tired of people covering up things for me," you explained.

"Shit, you are very young."

"Not too young where I cant be told what the hell you did to be in here, cant be all that bad if you're still alive."

Negan raised his brows sliding his tongue behind his lower lip.

"Oh no sweetheart, I'm no good." He spoke in a low voice.

"So let me guess, you're going to treat me like a little girl too and not tell me why?" Negan couldnt help himself but chuckle making you cross your arms.

"What's so funny?"

"Ohh...princess, if I was out of this cell right now I'd gladly show you how much of a grown woman I think you are."

"What?" You asked a little shocked not expecting him to express himself the way he did. You were quickly learning Negan had an unfiltered mouth.

"Dont mind me," Negan shook his head with a sigh.

"Its been a while and I'm just fucking frustrated."

"Its been a while since what?" You asked making him slightly lean back with a frown on his face.

"You really are innocent huh," you rolled your eyes.

"Listen, if you're going to say it just say it-"

"Its been a while since I've had some pussy." Negan blurt out making you stumble over your words.

"Oh-um...-" Negan grinned raising his brows at your reaction.

"Oh yes," he laughed as you nervously licked your lips.

"Shit..." he suddenly turned serious.

"How long has it been for you? Or wait let me guess, you haven't even had your cherry popped yet." Negan moved closer to the bars to get a closer look at you.

"Actually, I'm not a virgin but it's been a few years since I lost my virginity to this jackass. I havent slept with someone since."

"So you've gone a few years with out any relief?"

"Well um-obviously I've had relief-"

"Oh..so you like touching yourself," he bit his bottom lip in excitement.

"-But yes, it's been years since I've had sex and I'm okay with it, I dont need it." You couldnt believe you were even explaining this to him.

"Hm. Looks like whoever was hitting it wasnt hitting it right, shit I'd always have you coming back for more." You rolled your eyes holding back a smile, you kind of liked the attention he was giving you.

"Are you always this vulgar, Negan?"

"Only when I'm horny," he teased making you shake your head.

"Shit, do you blame me princess? You're the first woman that's spoken to me like I wasnt a damn monster. Plus I love some dirty talk." Negan had to admit the company was refreshing for him. You sighed with a smile and looked down at his food.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you to your food. I'll come by when I can again...if you want me to." Negan smiled sliding his tongue between his teeth.

"Oh I definitely do." You couldnt believe this man was flirting with you but you had to admit to yourself it was a fun interaction.

"Your secrets safe with me, Melody." Negan winked before you quietly left and locked the door shut.

That night you lay in bed smiling to yourself thinking of your very flirtatious talk with Negan. Your dad hadn't suspected a thing and you knew the next morning he would go on a run. It would be a perfect time to see Negan again. You were the first person in a long time to not make him feel like a monster and he was the first person who made you feel like a grown woman. Distracted by his flirtatious ways you didnt focus on the reason of him being held in a cell and Negan had no idea you were Rick Grimes only daughter.

The next morning just as suspected your father left on a run with Daryl and Michonne. The person on guard today was one of the men that you knew wasnt the biggest fan of your father. Of course you were to use this to your greatest advantage. Setting up a tray of breakfast with extra fruit you had grown in your garden you made your way to Negan. Unlocking the door, excitedly you walked down the hall to find Negan asleep with his back facing you as you set down his tray of food.

"Good morning, Negan." You spoke softly making him open his eyes. He groaned with a stretch and turned flat to his back making you gasp.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Negan looked at you confused before noticing exactly where your eyes were. The imprint of Negans very hard cock was practically bulging out of his pants.

"Ah shit-"he muttered to himself adjusting his pants.

"Sorry, sweetheart must've been having a nice little dream." He chuckled as he noticed you wouldnt stop staring at it.

"What, never seen some morning wood before?" He teased as he stood up.

"I mean, of course I just didnt expect to see you..I mean for you to be that way right now." You responded nervously as he made his way close to the bars of the cell.

"Right now?" He laughed.

"Oh princess, you have no idea how horny I am. How much I'd kill for the feel of sweet pussy...shit for a woman to just relieve me." The two of you were face to face now, only the bars separating you from each other.

"You know what I was dreaming about, princess?" Negan spoke as he noticed you would not stop looking down at his crotch area.

"I dreamt about you riding my cock." His voice was raspy, his words making you look up in shock.

"What?" You whispered.

"You left me last night thinking about things I wanted to do to you and this is the outcome." He motioned towards his erection.

"Why dont you touch it for me...just once." He spoke low, your lips parted at his request. Your heart was racing, it was arousing how much this man wanted you. Looking back at the door behind you making sure it was locked you looked back at Negan and nodded.

"Just once." You agreed making him grin.

"Atta girl."

Negan watched as you hesitatingly moved your hand in between the bars and began to slowly rub his crotch. A deep noise escaped his lips the first moment you touched him, his breathing was heavy as you moved your hand up and down.

"Oh my...-" you whispered feeling how rock solid he was.

"Oh, Melody.." he whispered as he closed his eyes. You could tell he obviously wanted more, you could tell how much he needed it. Without saying a word you began to unzip his pants and instantly his cock sprung out. It was thick and hot, you could feel him throbbing in your hand. The man was aching for some kind of relief, he was about ready to explode.

Spitting on your hand you began to move along his shaft. Negan moaned holding onto the bars as he watched you jerk him off. He could tell you were getting turned on as you began to breathe quickly. Negan reached through the bars and grabbed your throat applying pressure making you moan as you began to move your hand faster.

"Fuck baby, I dont think I can hold it-" he held his breath and grunted struggling to not let himself cum just yet.

"Hold on just a little bit more, I want you to cum hard." You whispered as he frowned holding on to the bar tightly, his knuckles turning white. It had been too long since he had been touched, too long since he had ejaculated and Negan had an intense rush. His other hand quickly sliding down your neck and pulling your v neck shirt down revealing your breast.

"Touch me, Negan. Do what you want." You whispered as your hand moved faster. Your words making his jaw clench as he squeezed your breast and let out a very loud and deep groan, loads of cum spilled out of him falling to ground.

"Yes.." you whispered loving the sight of him giving in.

"Dont stop-" he struggled to speak as he continued to cum all over your hand. He panted as you began to slow down before he let go of your breast and leaned against the bars. Releasing his cock from your hand you stepped back and looked at him from head to toe. His eyes were closed as he leaned his head on the bars, his cock twitching as you noticed all his cum on the concrete floor.

"Wow.." you whispered making him open his eyes. Grabbing a rag you had on you, you cleaned up your hand then handed it to him before he closed his pants. Negan cleared his throat before looking back up at you with a smirk.

"I guess I owe you one," he chuckled still trying to catch his breath making you laugh as you fixed your top.

"Glad I could be of help," you joked before the two of you locked eyes. The smiling fading from his face now.

"Seriously, it's been nice having you here."

Negan liked the sexual connection the two of you had, he also liked how you naturally conversed with him. You didnt treat him like an animal, you treated him like a human being. Negan knew he had messed up in life but he knew there was nothing he could do to change the past. All he could do was not repeat the same mistakes. What he did know was that he now knew for sure that he did not want you knowing his real reason behind being locked inside. He knew youd never look at him the same way again.

"Its been nice for me too. I havent really had conversation with anyone in my group." You sighed crossing your arms.

"After my friend Glenn died things changed." You whispered making Negans face change at the mention of Glenn's name. He looked away feeling a knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach.

"Everyone started acting different. I miss the way things were." You continued as you looked to the side and thought back of some memories.

"I think you should get going, Princess." Negan spoke low, his words making you look back at him confused.

"Wh-what? I thought we could talk-"

"Listen, I'm not your fucking therapist. Now get going." Negan snapped just wanting you to leave, his guilt eating up at him he felt like utter shit.

"So what jerking you off is all you needed so I'm good to go now?"

Negan remained silent, his head down not being able to look you in the eye.

"You know I know we dont know each other and you dont give a shit about me, but I thought we had an understanding that we both needed someone to talk to and not talk to them like something they're not." You snapped as he carefully listened to your words.

"That's the problem, sweetheart. They're not treating me like something I'm not. You are." His words left you speechless, what the hell did he mean by that?

"I told you I was no fucking good. Now get out of here." Negan turned his back to you, you couldnt believe what he was saying or what the hell even made him say these things.

"Screw you." Negan heard the crack in your voice before you stormed out and slammed the door shut. Negan sighed knowing he didnt want to hurt your feelings, hell he didnt even want you to leave. Angrily you walked back to your room and slammed the door shut, you felt so stupid you could scream. You swore you'd never see Negan again nor let your father ever find out of what had just happened.

Part 2? Trying to think of where I can go from here. Feel free to send in any ideas if you have. Xx

[aerltarg]

Maybe this is a stupid question, buuuuut:

I just can't imagine a world that Rhaegar comes back from the Trident, wins the war and becomes king. No, I'm not a anti Rhaegar, matter of fact I like him very much, I'm just can imagine how would Lya, little Jon, this whole affair, would settle in the capital. The norm that fics (at least those I read) tend to follow is to make Rhaegar:

1. A douche, paranoid and destiny-obessed king.

2. Completely incompetent, aloof monarch, that deep down has a heart of gold, but can't really be understood.

I mean, isn't he supposed to be a scholar since he was a kid? What's are your thoughts about it?

oh, yeah, i can totally understand this! it's is the whole point in canon actually, "the wrong man came back from the trident". you would expect a hero win against his antagonist and have a happy ending w his lady love but it doesn't happen. instead the subversion happens to them with rhaegar being killed by robert who becomes obviously a shitty king and lyanna dying after him. they were never supposed to have happy ending, they were created as tragic and doomed and dead from the beginning for the whole plot to start, jon to have his parentage mystery and dany to take the passed baton as the last dragon, prophesied savoir and the heir who has to carry entire house on her back now.

as for the realistic rhaegar wins aus that's the difficult question. tbh we just don't know enough abt their situation, plans and wishes. you see, e.g. in agot we can be right in ned's head and see his motivations, what he was thinking abt, what he was planning, what he was hoping to do. but if his story was told the way rhaegar's was i bet he would have his own crowd of haters and ~intellectuals~ jumping out every two seconds w their "hot takes" how actually all hints abt what rlly happened (ned being a good man w his own sense of honour, justice and experiences affecting him and the deal w cersei's children) doesn't matter and he was an ambitious prick, planned to grasp the power by being joffrey's regent and make his daughter sansa queen. (you can actually insert there any bullshit and still don't reach the level of stupidity of such "hot takes" this fandom loves so much lmao). also he would be blamed to the hell and beyond for being too stupid and not foreseeing the future and actions of other ppl bc ofc after everything happened it's so easy to say what was so obvious to notice. also they would say that the deaths of his men and horrible fates of his kids are 100% his fault and even straight up say he killed them lmao. i can rant abt it for hours so yeah. this is a situation w too many unknown variables bc it depends too much on actions of too many characters we don't know enough abt. the only thing it's possible to tell for sure is the fact that there couldn't be any perfect solutions since things got too complicated at this point.

such fics as you've mentioned tho are just a part of this dumb fanon where rhaegar is "too prophecy obsessed"/"incapable of love"/shrodinger's rhaegar both smart and stupid at the same time/whatever/all of this combined lmfao. the man was notably intelligent from the early age as you've absolutely rightly mentioned, his guesses abt himself being tptwp have nothing to do w egocentrism as some parts of the fandom would want us all to believe unless he wouldn't be so reasonable abt it and later on, after so many years, wouldn't have changed his mind and thought his son could be tptwp.

and literally fuck all antis that think you shouldn't consider prophecies that hold real power in this fantasy world lol. you know, aegon the conqueror was said to be motivated (or at least partly) to unify westeros by the prophecy and still got the treatment of perfect/maximum close to perfect figure of a leader everyone should look up to from the narrative and grrm. prophecy obsessed much, huh? i don't even talk abt all these parallels between him and rhaegar grrm put there not for bitches to ignore them completely! and i will never get tired of reminding that dismissing prophecies is UNWISE for targaryens of all people. the house whose story is built on the dream of young daenys and her father aenar that listened to her despite common sense (or what local "anti magic"/"anti prophecies" clowns consider to be common sense). targs would be as dead as the rest of dragonlords if not for daenys the dreamer. who else in the world has as many reasons to take prophecies seriously as them?

yet antis out there act as if rhaegar is one dimensional weirdo whose every character trait is abt mf ~prophecy obsession~. like how can they miss one of the main points so badly?? the game of thrones distracts ppl from the real danger beyond the wall, yk, the one rhaegar was aware of and meant to deal with. there wouldn't be such a problem if he became king and had as many years of head start before ice zombies apocalypse as ignorant bobby b did. rhaegar had to die just for westeros to sink in shit and our main heroes to save everyone to make this story more epic LMAO

so yeah, too many ppl portray rhaegar as this one dimensional robotic creature without any knowledge of what feelings are idk even for what reason. it seems these ppl can't read for real bc rhaegar was not only intelligent af as well as dutiful ("it seems i must be a warrior" but "he loved his harp more than his lance") but also. ugh emotional?? my boy had constant emo sessions w brooding at ruins of summerhall, sleeping out there beneath the stars all alone and writing songs that made all women cry. does it sound as someone who "isn't capable of love" lol? folks act as if he was completely heartless from the day he was born (bc he didnt play w other kids ig??) but in reality their emotional range is less than the one of a spoon in comparison to rhaegar's lol. i'm not even gonna address the horrible attitude of demonizing him for his implied depression, vile clowns never listen to themselves when they talk abt targaryens and their "madness".

tldr; these fics are mostly lame af and suck at characterization if they're making rhaegar like that lol. anyway his character isn't abt being a good or a bad king, it's abt being a would-be-king for characters in books and readers in reality to sigh over his tragic aura and pretty aesthetic abt how it could've been. however, grrm clearly doesn't write rhaegar as evil or incapable as some parts of the fandom would want to try to persuade others. realistically speaking in the scenario where he wins there couldn't be any perfect decisions but it's a territory of speculations on thin air and lit nothing more since canon doesn't provide us with enough information to rlly theorize anything instead of building biased headcanons some ppl call "analysis".

but remember what barristan said about rhaegar while practically watching him all his life, from a literal baby to the man grown:

“I know little of Rhaegar. Only the tales Viserys told, and he was a little boy when our brother died. What was he truly like?”

The old man considered a moment. “Able. That above all. Determined, deliberate, dutiful, single-minded.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)

“Prince Rhaegar’s prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance.” (ASOS, Daenerys IV)

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 34

💖 first time reader click here 💖

A little bit of plot, but mostly ironstrange x reader filthy porn. Bukkake stuff. Stephen finally opening up a lil bit, I mean... I've slept through a 1/3 of a hospital and lemme tell you, doctors are kinky bastards. On the same note, there's definitely going to be a chapter where all three men are involved after the plot shit is resolved.

There was something big brewing. I had a hunch... which was more like a strong sense of doom... hanging over me and the rest of the world. Peter also had noticed the sudden spike in anxiety, quoting the sudden disappearance of many low-tier mutants from the streets. Usually, Peter dealt with at least a few enhanced enemies during his patrols but the closer it got to Christmas, the less enhanced bothered with small-time crimes, the more intense the buzzing of his Spidey sense became.

Now that my immediate lack of income wasn't a problem anymore, I set business onto that damn mercenary. I was no spy, I was no SHIELD operative but... I could be very clever.

First things first, I had to make sure I would stay alive no matter what. A subdermal tracker was a good guarantee of security and I spent many hours making one - having to keep it a secret was incredibly hard, I hated lying to my loves and I hated avoiding Wanda even more - I was constantly on the edge around the telepath, hyperfocused on keeping up the pretense of normalcy.

I wouldn't be me if I couldn't successfully pull off a whole ass façade. Unfortunately, the continued failures of the people searching left and right for the mercenary only fueled my strength for the inevitable fuck-fest that I would have to create in order to make sure my people get the peace they fucking deserve. The web of lies grew in size every damn day.

Subdermal tracker, an implant that reports directly to Friday upon activation. It hurt like a bitch - I had cut myself open, an inch wide gash on the inside of my forearm - and put it in without any anesthesia in my own bathroom, not even thinking twice before making up a lie that I had been careless in the lab and hurt myself.

An antidote to common tranquilizers, creating it gave me a headache the size of Moscow but I'd been successful; Tony assembled the whole team when he found it out, offering me a ridiculous amount of money for the formula. It was weird. SHIELD was interested, too, and I had to witness Tony and Coulson argue. Apparently, the agency wanted to recruit me and Tony was adamantly against it, totally forgetting the promise Natasha had given me. In the end, the spy and Coulson shared a quiet conversation and the man left, respectfully complimenting my skills.

I sold the formula to Stark Industries, unable to get rid of the weirdness of the situation. I had to shake hands with my own boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend... In a business setting. What. Just what. Bucky and Stephen couldn't stop laughing at the face I made all throughout that day - and Clint even went as far as to bake me a gag cake, a cartooney handshake drawn in frosting on top of it. I hit him with a spatula, Loki smiled in his direction for the first time in, like, ever. It was a trip and Tony had way too much fun with the incident.

Perhaps, turning myself into a cyborg stew wasn't the best plan that was possible to think up in a few weeks' time but I've never claimed to be exceptionally intelligent; if anything, I've always considered myself to be a moderately educated idiot. It is common knowledge that there are two halves of a whole idiot: my second half was on his way from California, having had received my very detailed e-mail about the whole cursed box fiasco and the consequences that followed. I could barely contain my excitement at the prospect of seeing uncle Eddie and his symbiote again.

Tony wasn't even half as excited; if anything, he bordered on outright hostile, bickering, and sassing everybody left and right. It could have been the situation at hand finally getting on his last nerves. It could have been his jealousy, the same that appeared every time I paid extra attention to someone that wasn't him, Bruce or Stephen. Either way, Bruce was sighing all the time now and Stephen's remarks began to fill with poison once again.

Just like the good old times, I guess. I was forced to pull a Me over and over, interrupting their petty arguments with increasingly absurd remarks. I felt like everybody was laughing at me these days, which ended in only one way it could have...

"Brat," Stephen's patience was paper-thin and, being forcefully distracted from yelling at Tony, he directed his angst at the nearest person - me. "I oughta put you over my knee. I swear to Cosmos..."

"Blah, blah, blah. Don't you ever get tired of listening to yourself talk?" I raised my eyebrows, tone deceptively calm. "You're talking too much for someone who can't even..." I didn't get to finish my sentence, suddenly finding my mouth firmly glued shut. It was magic - the sensation was pulling, but not unpleasant. Reminded me of a ball gag Tony had used on me in the early days of our relationship.

"Now, Dumbledore, hold your horses..." Tony interjected looking none-too-happy. The engineer placed a warning arm on the sorcerer's bicep, their little spat seemingly forgotten.

"What, Tony? She's been nothing but a mouthy urchin the past few days, I can't stand it anymore," They shared a meaningful look; no matter how much Tony wanted to argue, he knew Stephen was right. What he didn't know was that there probably have been a magic versus science altercation... Or worse. Humiliation was a small price to pay for some (relative) peace.

I did what I do best. I annoyed them further, throwing up a juicy middle finger to the two men and turned around with a huff, mind set on finding Loki to undo the mute ban Stephen gave me. Needless to say, I didn't make it very far.

In mere seconds, I was sandwiched between the two men, Stephen's finger delicately holding my chin to force me to look into his eyes. Tony was holding onto my shoulders from behind me - I could feel the tension, my engineer was almost buzzing with it. I was pretty sure my eyes were laughing anyway because Stephen's frown slowly transformed into a coy smirk once his stormy blues focused on my face.

"Brat," He repeated once again. "She's doing this on purpose."

"I can't say I'm surprised," Tony's breath tickled the nape of my neck. "That does sound like our little Princess," Apparently, it took all of a 0.1 second for Tony to switch from annoyed to horny. Men, they were so easy to play. "Baby, if you wanted our attention you could have just said so," He chastised me, hands sliding down to my waist.

I hummed, and then aggressively hummed some more until Stephen removed the magical gag. "Not like you'd notice it, being occupied with tearing each other's hair out," I pouted.

The sorcerer briefly averted his eyes, leaning down to softly kiss my pout. It was very unlikely I'd get an actual apology but a kiss I won't be complaining about either. "So, your best tactic was to annoy us even more? How does that work out for you?"

I pulled on the tied fabric around his waist, bringing him closer to me. "Pretty good, if I'm being honest. You're exactly where I wanted you to be," Carelessly, I began untying the layers of silks and cotton I had become intimately familiar with over the course of the past few weeks. Most of the time Steph wore his wizard garbs and while figuring out how to undo them was a trip at first, I had gotten him desperate enough a few times, for him to show me a few tips and tricks for easier access.

Tony snorted somewhere behind me. "You just want us for our bodies," His hands wormed their way under my shirt, brushing the underside of my breasts. Bra? Hardly know her. "Our beautiful, sexy bodies." Yes Tony, very humble.

"When will you learn, people?" I asked rhetorically, simultaneously leaning into both Tony's and Stephen's touch. "Why fight each other when you could be fucking me into oblivion instead?"

Stephen snorted, still not completely used to the at times crude things that left my (and occasionally Tony's) mouth. I had a hunch the sorcerer was holding back somewhat - for whatever reason - and I was eagerly waiting for him to get comfortable enough to reveal that special part of himself. Whatever it was, I just knew it was delicious and sinful and-

"Do you really think I will be giving you what you want after your little... Stunt?" Steph went balls out; his voice dropped and the intensity of his stare left me breathless. The hand that was stroking my face wrapped around my throat as he had some sort of a silent conversation with Tony.

"Yeah," I emphasized the word with an inaudible 'duh' behind it but obediently trotted along as Stephen backed up towards the couch, leading me by the throat like a pet on a leash. I was steadily going into 'no thoughts, head empty' territory.

"I like it when you get all bossy," Tony remarked casually but he was close enough for me to hear the strain in his voice. Every time we fucked, Tony eagerly gave up the control to Stephen. I definitely saw the appeal. Stephen Strange demanded authority effortlessly, his stern but fair attitude simply demanded to kneel.

That's just what I did. As soon as Stephen made himself comfortable on the Italian leather couch, I dropped to my knees, looking up at the man with big round eyes. Just like Tony and Bruce, Stephen had his own weaknesses when it came to moi and I wasn't ashamed to exploit them. Steph's stroked my hair, carding careful fingers through it, slowly unbuttoning his pants with his other hand.

"If you insist on being mouthy, I have a better task for you," He husked, pulling me closer towards him. I called it his doctor voice. Honestly, I don't have a clue how his surgical team could be around him with their pants on back in the day... The man was a snack on a silver platter.

Steph's erection sprang free. I didn't hesitate to wrap my hand around it, stroking the underside of his glans just like he liked it, looking to the side where Tony landed on the couch next to Stephen, a curious look on his face. Yeah, Tony liked to watch. Me and Stephen or me and Bruce... Me and Stephen and Bruce? That's an idea for later.

"Don't mind little old me," Tony smirked his trademark Stark mischief, getting comfortable, ditching his oil-stained shirt and unbuttoning his pants to lazily palm himself through his boxers. "Carry on," The smirk only grew when Tony noticed both me and Steph eyeing him with amusement.

I hid my grin, nodding my head, before wrapping my lips around the tip of Stephen's cock, relaxing my throat to prepare for the intrusion. Sweet and salty, the slit on his cockhead was mercilessly teased by the tip of my tongue.

Stephen murmured encouragements under his breath as I began to bob up and down, him controlling the pace with a hand in my hair, just the right balance between cruel and gentle. The sorcerer was always too good to me, bringing me to the point of overstimulation and instantly soothing the ache afterward; "Fuck, darling, your mouth feels like heaven," He groaned as I snuck a look upwards to see his lips parted and a steady flush crawling up his neck.

"She knows how to work a man, doesn't she?" Tony's lust had him panting, hips moving into his own hand. He leaned closer to Stephen, brushing my hair behind my ear with a tender hand. "Merlin needs to share," Tony began pulling me in his direction. I reluctantly let go of Stephen's cock, keeping up the pace with my hand as I scooted closer to Tony to be able to mouth at his stiff erection.

Watching me suck cock always got Tony hard enough to pound nails with. I couldn't blame him, I knew what I could do and did well; by the time I made my way down his thick flesh, drool was dripping down my chin and the make-up around my eyes was surely smeared by tears. My engineer was much less gentle than Steph, pounding my face without reservations.

"I know you can take it, baby girl, fuck," My face was held in his strong grip, thumbs digging into my jaw. "Such a good girl," The two words went straight down to my pussy and I had to squirm and clench my thighs together, whining at the lack of friction.

The air was pierced by a low moan - Stephen was fisting his erection almost desperately now, almost as desperately as I was humping the air, whining like a bitch in heat at the taste of Tony's cock in my mouth. I knew neither of the men would last long, not with all that pent up tension running through their minds and bodies.

"Fuck, come here, baby girl," The engineer yanked me off his cock, gripping the base of it so forcefully his knuckles turned white. I was all but dragged into the space between them; still kneeling, barely seeing with snot and tears smeared all over my face, I couldn't hold in the broken moan as the realization set in.

"Keep your eyes open!" Steph instructed furiously, scooting to tower over me. Tony followed in his steps as I obediently lifted my eyes to their cocks and then their faces; nearly identical furrowed brow expressions stared back at me, lips moist and eyes wide. Both men stroked themselves with renewed vigor.

I hummed softly before sticking out my tongue; their reaction didn't let me wait long. Strings of pearly white cum landed in my hair, on my face; I felt the warmth on my skin and tasted their salt and musk on the tip of my tongue, reflexively swallowing each and every drop that landed in my mouth, savoring it just like I savored the sinful groans that left their mouths.

"Fuck, you're so good to us," Tony panted, gracelessly falling backward onto the couch.

Stephen, however, didn't hurry to catch his breath, giving me a thoughtful look. His fingers shook more than ever but he paid no mind to the discomfort, gathering the cum dripping down my face with two fingers and offering it to me, holding them up to my lips as I gently cleaned them off. And he did it again, and again, until Tony gave a weak moan of recognition, throwing an arm under his head.

"Be polite, Princess," Stephen's voice hadn't lost the lust in it just yet.

"Thank you, sir," I mumbled, utterly captivated by the way he was looking at me. Stormy blues radiated a strong sense of intensity, devotion perhaps, that I wasn't ready for.

Stephen smiled at me, almost coyly, before kneeling right next to me and bringing me over the edge with a few sharp, clever movements of his hand. I held onto his shoulders for dear life, barely noticing Tony's reaction - if there was one - my other lover seemed to be as surprised as I was, choosing to hang back and observe the unusual situation.

I had a feeling that whatever it was, it would make another appearance during our playtime. It wasn't just sex, it wasn't making love - it was... Something. I loved every second of it.

@another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias @toomanyrobins @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming

[julemmaes]

Oksy so don’t feel like you have to do this but nesta and the kids go out grocery shopping and they bump into THOMAS FUCKING MANDARY and Nesta gets super overwhelmed but she’s got the kids and shit so she pretends she’s fine

But later cass comes home and the kids tell him what happens.

(and maybe they have a talk on important stuff about being with someone who loves you and if someone hurts you they don’t love you and it’s beautiful Idk)

Loving And Caring

Nessian modern au set in the The Seven Of Us universe (masterlist)

acotar next gen fan fiction

A/N: This is the reason I’m gonna fail my English exam, so please enjoy:)

The children’s ages: Ezra is 11, Cal is 6, Nora is 3 and Celia is 2. Andra is kinda not born yet.

DON’T COME FOR ME FOR BEING SLOW AS FUCK OR FOR WRITING SUCH ANGSTY PROMPTS. I HAVE 70+ IN MY ASKS BOX AND THEY’RE ALL SO ANSGTY

Word count: 8,185

"I want it!"

"I don't-"

"No, I want this!"

"I said I wanted it first."

"You did not!"

"Mom!"

Nesta Archeron had been called many things in her life. Daughter first. Then sister and friend, woman. She had been appreciated by all the professors she had had the honor of meeting during her studies, who had called her the best in her classes. She had finally found someone who had sincerely called her love and then wife, and she would not give up that last acquired, very important title of mom for anything in the world, but-

Right then she just wanted to strap her kids to the cart and run.

Walking down the cereal aisle, she ran a hand over her swollen, ready-to-burst belly, realizing that she would have to trip and fall on her bump if she wanted to end the problem for good. The baby girl, for whom they still hadn't chosen a name, would be born in a few weeks, and if she didn't get rid of her, too, she would never find peace.

She giggled - or at least she thought she did - at those morbid, disturbing thoughts for which many people would surely have her locked up in a mental hospital, if they found out how often she admitted to wanting to abandon her children.

It had been such a tiring day. She had been home from work for a couple of months now, this fifth pregnancy was breaking her down physically and mentally. She was at the end, in her eighth month, but she would much rather have the last baby out and inside the cart with her sisters by now.

Celia and Nora were babbling something in their imperfect language, and Nesta's heart clenched for her little men at the thought that they would be outnumbered in a few weeks. She and Cassian had experienced that feeling only three years before, and yet she still hadn't forgotten the terror she had felt at the idea of her children turning against them.

They had created a small army.

Casting a quick glance at Ezra who was sneaking something into the cart, she huffed. If the others noticed that he had put a package of junk food in the basket, that would be the end of it.

Moments later, in fact, Cal was looking at the colored bag in the still empty cart with suspicious eyes, and Nesta wasn't going to wait for the fight over who could buy the most junk food that day to begin.

"Ezra, put the snacks back," she said rubbing her hands over her eyes.

Celia mumbled something as she sat inside the cart, and Nora, silently settled next to her, nodded, as if she understood what the other was talking about. It shouldn't have shocked her, but Nesta never ceased to be amazed by that way of communicating that only the two of them understood.

Ezra's icy eyes turned sad when he looked at her and he pouted, "But mom I need them for snacks for school."

Cal looked at him with a furrowed brow, "No you don't. I need them." then he turned to Nesta, "But I don't like these, can I have those?" he asked with a bright smile pointing across the aisle with a wave of his arm.

She leaned forward, sighing and not answering him. Nora looked up at her and reached out her hands toward her mom, letting her know she wanted to be held, but Nesta was aching.

Cal and Ezra hadn't stopped bickering for half a second, and Celia had cried all day because she wanted her dada. Nora had stayed in Nesta's arms the entire walk to the grocery store, and one way or another she knew she would have to carry her all the way back home as well, despite the unbearable back pain. It was less than two kilometers, but with a pregnancy running out and only one hand to restrain any possible child who threatened to throw themselves under the cars whizzing by, it became more mental work than physical.

When Nesta smiled lovingly at her, trying to make her understand that she couldn't hold her right then, Cal burst into tears.

Her daughters' little heads snapped up at their brother, and Nesta cursed herself for deciding to do something as stupid as taking her four young children to the grocery store on an evening when they were all visibly on edge and stressed.

"Dear, what happened?" she asked without even an ounce of concern in her voice. She knew full well that it was just a tantrum. She got confirmation of that when Ezra replied in a whiny tone that they couldn't both buy snacks, or they wouldn't know how to carry them home. At that point Cal's cry became a proper scream and Nesta had to close her eyes to avoid the judgmental stares of the people passing by.

She brought her hands to her temples, massaging her forehead in circular motions, and when she thought she could handle it without throwing up on each of her children, she leaned against the cart, circling around Ezra and crouching with no small amount of difficulty in front of Cal. One hand on her back and the other still clinging to the cart, she grunted as she put one knee on the ground. She felt Nora's little hand rest on hers as she began to speak, "Listen kiddo, we're all very tired and now your brother is going to put his snacks down too," she explained, giving Ezra an inquisitive look over her shoulder. The eldest son rolled his eyes, but he had Celia hand him the package and snortingly put it back. Cal sobbed, sniffling, and Nesta laid a hand on his shoulder, massaging his arm. "How about we read a book together tonight before bed?"

The boy's face scrunched up in a grimace of sadness, "But I want snacks." he sobbed louder. Nesta bit her lip, knowing full well that the fat tears on his cheeks weren't really for the snacks and that she couldn't give in and let them all buy something or she'd end up with two bags full of junk food to carry.

Cal hadn't slept that afternoon, as had everyone else, because of Celia's endless crying, and she hadn't wanted to take her afternoon nap until it was too late and Nora and Cal had gotten out of bed to go play in their rooms. At that point Nesta had been forced to let Celia go, but she knew that had meant agreeing to spend an evening with frustrated and not-rested children.

She was about to respond when a couple of older ladies walked by them, casting an annoyed look at Cal. Nesta would have liked to respond with an ugly hand gesture, but she couldn't do it in front of her children.

In that moment of distraction she hadn't realized that Celia had also started calling her and now, casting a quick glance at her daughter, she felt a very bad feeling sink into her stomach at the sight of the little girl's tear-filled eyes.

She looked at Ezra, taking a deep breath, and noticed that even the oldest of her children seemed bothered by the course of action Nesta had taken. She felt tremendous guilt at seeing that the only one of her children who didn't seem disappointed or angry with her was Nora.

It all got worse when one of the two ladies who had just passed her said loud enough so she could hear her, "I don't understand why some people don't stop with their first child. It's obvious she can't even handle one, listen to her screaming."

Nesta felt the emotion grow in her throat.

"When someone isn't born to be a parent, it shows immediately. She's one of those awful mothers who doesn't know how to take care of her children." the other added.

Nesta caught her breath, fixing her gaze in Cal's. Celia was crying by now, spluttering to be picked up as she tried to keep her balance inside the cart.

She wasn't going to answer. She wasn't going to answer.

"Let's go home." she whispered suddenly, laying a hand on the small of her back and pulling herself up with a tremendous effort, a twinge of pain went through her legs and back, "Cal, dear, we'll buy the snacks another time, for now we'll just take the bread and milk, tomorrow come back with daddy and take whatever you want, okay?" she spoke quickly, in a high, steady voice so that all four of them could hear her. She just hoped they didn't hear how desperately she was trying not to burst into tears over what the ladies had just said.

Cal nodded, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his shirt and immediately stopping crying. Ezra looked thoughtful, but he too had stopped pouting. The only one who still looked upset was Celia, who followed her by walking inside the cart, moving where she stood.

Seeing the little girl's red face and dripping nose, arms outstretched toward her, Nesta heard only the words "awful mother" repeated in her mind.

With a knot in her throat and a cry that she was sure would break free as soon as she stepped into the house, Nesta pushed forward, bumping the cart with her belly as she picked up Celia and placed her on her side. The little girl immediately stopped crying, resting her head on her mother's shoulder and cupping her tiny hand over her shirt.

Now, beyond the emotional wound that had just been inflicted on her, Nesta could feel the pain in her back growing with every step she took. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stop a sob that threatened to break that composed attitude she had.

Everything hurt so bad.

Cal was running in front of them all, stomping his feet on the ground and making the little lights on his shoes glow. Ezra was walking beside her, one hand on the edge of the cart as he mouthed off to Nora, but he had to stop when Nesta froze in the middle of the aisle, taking an abrupt breath. She brought a hand to her belly, feeling the baby move and kick, only adding to the pain.

"Ezra, love," she breathed, stepping aside and holding Celia against her side, then asked between her teeth as the baby continued her assault inside her, "could you push the cart?"

He nodded, his face lighting up as if she had asked him to take control of a ship.

Celia began to squirm on her side and Nesta had the urge to drop her, not voluntarily, but it all hurt so much that her body was begging her to sit up, to take all that unnecessary weight off her arms.

At the idea that she would have to walk home she felt her eyes grow heavy with tears.

She put Celia back in the cart, breathing a sigh of relief as some of the pain eased in her lower back. Nora was now standing and smiling at Ezra, who was struggling to see where he was going past his sister.

Nesta looked up just as Cal hopped out of the aisle and fell to the ground, crashing into someone's cart. Or rather, as someone ran over him with their cart and slamming him to the ground.

She didn't even think about it as she started walking as fast as her body would allow towards her son, leaving the other three behind. By the time she reached him, Cal was standing there laughing in amusement and was running his hands over his pants to get the dust off his palms. Once she made sure he wasn't hurt, she was ready to yell at whoever had dropped her son, ready to take out all her frustration and doubts on the stranger, when she heard a voice that sent chills down her spine.

"Nesta Archeron?"

She moved her head so fast she was surprised she hadn't snapped her neck, but her brain didn't have time to process the pain the jolt had caused her, because there standing before her was Tomas Mandray.

She couldn't believe it.

Any thought of yelling at the stranger vanished like an echo in her mind.

How was it possible that he was there?

"Is it really you?" he asked her with wide eyes and an incredulous smile on his face. He circled the cart, shifting his gaze to Cal, and Nesta felt the overwhelming instinct to grab her son and hide him behind her. When Tomas reached out a hand toward him, ruffling his hair, she felt vomit rise in her throat. They had to get out of that place immediately. "I can't believe it." he voiced her thoughts, "Is this yours?" he asked looking into her eyes again.

This... he was talking about Cal.

She couldn't find the words and continued to stare at the man in front of her with wide eyes - scared eyes, if you knew Nesta, if you knew where to look. And Tomas knew it. Tomas had always known it.

She heard Ezra reach them, and then something slammed into her side. She didn't need to lower her head to catch a glimpse of Nora's little pigtails of black hair or hear Celia's amused giggle.

Tomas snorted a laugh out of his nose, crossing his arms over his chest, "Are they all yours?" then moved his gaze to her belly to bring it back up to her breasts and Nesta wanted to say something to him, to insult him, to hit him, to take him away from her children, but she felt her heart pounding in her throat and the air couldn't reach her lungs.

That tone-

That tone wasn't of someone who was happy to hear that you'd made a new life for yourself after they'd managed to destroy you completely. It wasn't the tone of an old friend who you hadn't seen in years and who you're about to agree to hang out with and tell them about everything that happened in your lives.

No, it was the tone he had used every day, every hour, when he needed to belittle her, when he needed to make her feel insignificant, worthless.

"Mom?"

Nesta turned her head so slowly toward her son, blinking, that she must have seemed like another person entirely. No longer the proud, strong woman she'd shown everyone for years on that side. Ezra had one eyebrow arched, as if wondering what was going on, and was clasping hands with a jumping Celia.

She didn't have the energy to turn around, to look at the man who had pushed her to the bottom of the barrel and destroyed her, but she managed to throw out a weak, "Kids we have to go, we're not taking anything." then turning to Cal, she took his arm, pulling him towards his siblings, "Let's go."

She felt Tomas' eyes creeping over her like slimy hands. She could still remember the last time he'd touched her, when she'd gone over the edge, offering herself to him to avoid yet another fight or worse.

For that, when his true hand tightened around her wrist, pulling her slightly to let her stay there, she flinched.

"Nesta."

She spun around, bringing her free hand to her belly for protection. When the little girl inside her kicked again, making her groan through her teeth in pain, Tomas smiled in a way that made Nesta hope she was anywhere but there.

"Is she kicking?"

And then it all happened quickly. She couldn't move, couldn't pull away, as the grip on her wrist tightened and Tomas pulled her closer to him and placed his other hand on her stomach, next to hers. A soundless sob escaped her control and her breath labored as she felt his fingers move over her shirt.

She was going to throw up.

She gave a tug so hard that the twinge of pain started at her wrist and reached her elbow, but she was free. She smacked the hand on her, taking several steps back and bringing Cal with her. She had started pushing the front of the cart, trying to position it in the direction they had come from.

She met Ezra's gaze for a moment, before her son's eyes slipped behind her, on Tomas' figure.

"Ezra." she called to him in a firm voice. Four pairs of eyes snapped in his direction. That was the tone of a tired mother issuing orders to her children at the end of the day, "Eyes on me."

She didn't want anything of Tomas's to come into contact with her children. She didn't want him to contaminate them the way he had contaminated her.

She lifted Cal off the ground and the child quietly let her pick him up without too much of a fuss. She didn't feel the strain at all as she pulled him high enough to put him in the cart with the girls. Looking at her oldest, she hoped she could secure him like she was doing with the other three, but he was too big to fit in the cart himself.

Before she could tell him to follow her without saying a word, Tomas spoke again.

"What a beautiful name, Ezra," she felt the venom bind each letter.

Ezra was about to turn around, probably to thank him, as she and Cassian had taught him, but Nesta squeezed his shoulder, "Keep looking ahead and walking, I don't want you talking to him."

"Always so fucking obnoxious," Tomas spat at that point.

Nesta froze in her tracks. She could feel him following them as he tortured her. Ezra froze beside her, tugging at her sleeve to get her attention.

Always so obnoxious. You're useless, worthless. I'm the only person who will ever be able to put up with your bullshit. You'll never find anyone else.

She felt the panic rise, the agitation for one of her children to realize how uncomfortable she was at that moment. She closed and opened her hands on the cart's handlebars, hoping to relieve some of that tension.

"I'm amazed to see you with so many children," he continued, creeping up beside her and stopping in front of her cart, blocking her way with his. She looked up at him, feeling the air scratch at her throat. He had aged, she could see it in the features around his eyes, his mouth - he had aged and yet still had the same look. "I didn't think you'd ever date again after I left you."

I left you. She wanted to tell him. I had the courage to leave.

She didn't answer him, straightening her back.

Tomas smirked, lowering his gaze to her daughters and his smile widened even more.

"Don't look at them," she snapped, still maintaining her composure.

The man looked up at her one more time, "They'll be just as pretty as their mother when they grow up." then looked at Cal and Ezra, sliding a finger over the edge of his cart. "Who's the father?"

"Dada." muttered Celia, flapping her little hands.

Nesta wanted to recoil at the sound. She didn't want Tomas to hear her talk, didn't want him to watch them. She didn't want them breathing his same air.

"It's none of your business and now move over," she whispered to him. All she could think about was the fact that she had to get her children out of there as soon as possible. Therefore, when he didn't move an inch, she added. "Please."

Tomas laughed. He laughed, leaning his head back and clutching his hand around the mesh of her cart. "Nessie Nessie," he clicked his tongue on his palate, a remnant of laughter in the tone of his voice that made the woman's gut tangle, "I haven't seen you in so long. I want to know everything."

"Please." she repeated, as her eyes filled with tears. His own widened slightly, surprised to see such a reaction in her. She didn't care if he saw her weak, she didn't care if she had to get down on her knees. He was keeping them trapped, and Nesta knew he wouldn't let them leave until he squeezed even the last drop of sanity out of her.

If Ezra still realized what was going on, she didn't know, and it scared her even more. Cal was looking at her and looked worried, probably having never seen her so shaken in her life.

She was about to beg him a third time. Beg him to free her from whatever that game was that they were stuck in at that moment, but someone said her name. Ezra looked behind them and Nesta saw the shadow of a smile on his face, prompting her to turn around in turn. A choked sound escaped her throat as she bit her upper lip to keep from bursting into tears, and a wave of gratitude washed over her.

"Miss Archeron," the man smiled at her. Drakon Cretea had been Nesta and Cassian's neighbor for years now. He and his wife Myriam had babysat their children so many times that they were their go-to people. In fact, Celia and Nora had snapped to their feet at the sound of the voice of the acquired grandfather they loved so much.

Nesta didn't waste a moment turning the cart so that it faced Drakon. The children, Ezra included, began to cheer happily at having met a familiar face, and Nesta allowed herself to look over her shoulder.

With such relief that she thought she might collapse to the ground, she saw that Tomas was already pulling away, and as he turned the corner, pulling into another aisle, she took a deep breath through her nose, closing her eyes.

She had made it.

***

Cassian was exhausted.

He had spent the entire day grading exams for first-year students with his aide, and it was as if he could see the letters behind his eyelids every time he blinked. It was much more feasible to work in the university library, where he didn't risk being interrupted by a child every five minutes, but he only tried to do it once or twice a month during exam sessions, knowing full well how exhausting it was for Nesta to keep up with all the children together until late in the evening, especially now that Andra was about to arrive.

"Andra." he murmured into the silence of his car. Nesta kept telling him that they weren't sure that would be the name of their fifth child, but Cassian didn't care. He just needed to name his wife's belly when talking to his daughter.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he turned off the car in the driveway and stepped out, stretching his arms up just enough to make his back crack.

Glancing at the watch on his wrist, he huffed. It was too late for his girls to still be awake, but maybe he'd be able to say goodnight to Cal and Ezra.

He had warned Nesta that he was going to be late, and she had simply replied that she would leave dinner ready in the kitchen for when he returned.

Opening the front door, he immediately saw two little dark heads popping up from above the couch. Cal was already running at him when he closed the door behind him and jumped on him as soon as he had put his stuff down, "Dad!"

"Kiddo!" said Cassian throwing him into the air.

Cal laughed waving his arms, "Sssh," he scolded him still laughing, "the girls are sleeping."

"Oops," dad made a guilty face, stopping their game and putting Cal down.

Ezra was too focused on watching TV and wasn't paying the slightest attention to Cassian, but he walked over to the couch anyway, lowering himself just enough so he could leave a kiss on his hair, "Hi love." he murmured to him.

The little boy's head snapped toward him and with a crooked smile on his face and his pajama collar in his mouth, he said, "Hi dad."

Cassian scoffed amused, ripping his pajamas from between his teeth, "How many times have I told you not to eat your clothes?"

"Sorry," Ezra said, not sounding sorry at all.

Cal had gone back to lying next to his brother and they both seemed too caught up in the cartoon to pay any attention to it, so he went into the kitchen, loosening the tie around his neck and praying that Nesta had cooked something good - though the opposite was quite unlikely considering the woman's innate cooking skills.

He moaned with delight when he realized it was the meatballs she always made when she didn't feel like cooking and, taking the plate, he headed back to the living room. He plopped down in between his sons, taking the pajamas out of Ezra's mouth again and offering them both a meatball.

"So, what have you guys been up to today?" asked Cassian with a full mouth, slipping off his shoes and placing his feet on the coffee table.

First Cal and then Ezra told him in full detail about what they had done at school and then about the fact that none of them had slept that afternoon. Cassian was surprised to find out that Cal could still stand up without getting any rest.

When they got to the point where Nesta had taken them out walking and they had made it all the way to the supermarket, he had stopped them.

"Guys come on," he looked at them with incredulous eyes, "I told you to keep her home."

It was true. Lately Nesta had been pushing her limits when the doctors had told her to exert herself and stress as little as possible. With childbirth imminent too, it was risky for her to walk around without any other adults.

Ezra had the decency to look guilty, "I know, but-"

"We also met a weird dude," Cal interrupted him.

Cassian looked at him taking on a confused expression, "Weird?"

"Yeah, he knew mom," Ezra nodded, looking at the TV and talking thoughtlessly. He was bowing his head slowly and Cassian unconsciously extended a hand towards him, shutting his mouth before he could start chewing on the fabric once again. He looked at him at that point, continuing the story, "Mom was all weird, though."

"Weird." repeated Cassian.

"Yeah, weird." repeated Cal in turn, then chuckled, "He even hit me with the cart."

He and Ezra laughed together, remembering how Cal had fallen on his bum, but Cassian's thoughts were elsewhere. Clearly the fact that someone had rolled his son with a cart must not have been traumatic or painful, or Nesta would have called him and Cal wouldn't have been there laughing, but the fact that they had described her with an adjective like "weird" had him on high alert.

"Do you happen to know the man's name?" asked Cassian, pulling himself up and setting his plate down on the coffee table, keeping his gaze on his hands.

Ezra shook his head, "No, also because mom didn't talk to him much and then Drakon showed up."

"Oh, yeah," Cal repeated excitedly, his eyes glowing, "then Drakon showed up."

Cassian was on his feet before his youngest son had finished speaking. He started up the stairs to go upstairs, where he hoped he would find Nesta awake, but warned the two little men that he would go change and be back down to them in a jiffy.

With a strained expression and a bad feeling working its way through him, he walked down the hall, opening the door to his daughters' room slightly. Both Celia and Nora were already fast asleep, and Cassian felt a smile break out on his lips... his little gems. He couldn't believe yet another one would be arriving soon.

He closed the door, making sure not to make any noise, and then headed to his room, praying that Nesta was okay and that his children had misunderstood everything.

He heard her before he even entered. He could picture her pacing back and forth through their room, muttering about what was bothering her at the moment.

He took a deep breath, ready to fight whatever demons there would be to fight that night together, and tightening his hand around the doorknob, he lowered it, pushing himself into the room.

Nesta stopped short, both hands wrapped under her belly to help support that extra weight she was always complaining about.

The second Cassian's eyes found hers, her expression completely transformed and a desperate sob broke the silence that had formed between them.

"Nesta." he said as if someone had just sucked the air from his lungs. Reaching for her with two quick strides and wrapping her in his arms, Cassian heard all kinds of emotion in his wife's crying.

When he stroked her back, Nesta let go a wail of pain and he immediately pulled away, still keeping his hands around her elbows as much as her cold hands tightened around his forearms.

"God, Nesta what happened?"

She only cried harder, loosening her grip on him when she was sure he wouldn't pull away. She managed to say between sobs, "Everything hurts."

Cassian felt as if the floor has cracked open beneath them. "Is it the baby?"

Nesta's eyes went wide, probably only realizing at that moment what state he'd found her in, "No, she's fine." then, seeing his increasingly worried expression, she added, "I promise the baby's fine."

Cassian sagged at little, reducing his lips to a thin line, gently pushed her towards the bed to get her to sit up, but Nesta shook her head, taking short, overly fast breaths, "I can't."

Cassian paused, taking her hands and trying to restrain himself from asking her who they had met that afternoon that had managed to trigger such a reaction in her. There was no way she could have been in that state just from being tired.

"I can't." repeated Nesta sobbing and looking into his eyes. "Everything hurts, Cassian."

He sighed, closing his eyes. Seeing her in this state was nothing new unfortunately. With four pregnancies behind them and everything they'd been through in the years prior to their marriage, it wasn't unusual for either of them to be in such a condition.

He opened his eyes, trying to keep a firm tone, "How come you can't sit down?"

"If I sit the pain gets worse." she said between choked breaths.

Cassian furrowed his brow, wanting to yell at her about how stupid it had been of her to go walking that afternoon, but he restrained himself. "Have you tried lying down?" he proposed.

Nesta shook her head again, "Any position hurts my back or my legs," she explained.

"Tell you what," he began hesitantly, taking both of her hands, "why don't you put on those super pants that support your belly - or I'll help you put them on, it's no problem," he added quickly when he saw the pain in her features, "and then I'll give you a leg massage while you're standing?" he said smiling at her coyly. Nesta sniffed, nodding slowly. "And when sitting doesn't hurt anymore or is bearable you get on your knees on the bed or lean against the keyboard and I massage your back too, are you up for that?"

She squeezed his hands to let him know she was okay with everything, so Cassian smiled at her, returning the squeeze and starting to pull away from her to go get the leggings, but Nesta's eyes went wide and a few tears rolled down her cheeks, "Where are you going?"

Cassian grimaced worriedly.

Why hadn't she called him if she was feeling this bad?

He moved back as close as he could without crushing Andra between them, "I was just going to get my pajamas, Nes, and your pants." he placed a hand on her face, stroking away the remnants of her crying. Then he sighed, pushing her forehead into his and keeping his eyes open as he whispered, "I love you."

She repeated it quietly, almost a sigh.

He undressed quickly, slipping into his pajamas with equal haste as Nesta stood motionless in the center of the room, waiting for him to return to her.

"Listen," Cassian began, kneeling in front of her as he helped her out of the pajama pants she was wearing, "the boys told me you met someone today." he forced himself to look at her, when the grip on his shoulder suddenly tightened. Cassian studied the reaction he'd elicited from her and bit the inside of his cheek, seeing how Nesta had frozen and put her foot down. He took a deep breath, giving her knee a little tap to let her know she needed to get it back up, "They didn't tell me who it was and I don't think they know, but I got some ideas and I want-" he swallowed loudly, thinking seriously about what might have happened if his doubts were real, "If it's Tomas, I want to know if you're okay." he said in a lower voice, looking at her from under his lashes. Nesta didn't answer.

He had managed to get both of her feet into her pants and was pulling them up gently, trying not to hurt her. He had to pull up the skirt of the robe she used during all her pregnancies when none of her pajamas fit anymore, uncovering her belly and left a gentle kiss on her skin, smiling at his daughter, "Hello my little sunshine."

He felt Nesta shiver and thinking it was from the cold he hurried to cover her belly with her pants and then pull her nightgown down.

He looked at her more seriously than ever as he settled on the floor in front of her so he could massage her into a comfortable position. He was about to speak, to ask her again how she was doing, but she beat him to it.

"What did you do today?" she asked in a weak voice.

Cassian closed his mouth, bouncing his legs, pondering whether to insist that she spoke or let her distract him with that question. He decided for the latter, even though his wife already knew very well what he had done that day, "This morning there was an exam of Ancient History for the first years." he began to speak while pressing his thumbs on her left thigh. Nesta was leaning her hands on his shoulders. "I have to be honest, I've never seen exams as crappy and ignorant as this session's," he continued while keeping his gaze fixed on her face. "It's like people stopped studying all of a sudden and thought they could pass my exams by learning the bare minimum."

He shifted on her other thigh and Nesta snapped forward, groaning softly as Cassian touched a particularly numb muscle.

"Sorry." he smiled at her, "Then at lunch I stayed in the faculty with Gwyn and Luc, and by the way, they asked me if you'd be okay with organizing a lunch this weekend, with everyone?"

Nesta rolled her eyes, "I can't even walk, let alone plan a lunch with everyone," she pointed out to him in an irritated tone.

Cassian chuckled, "I'll let Gwyn know you told her to fuck off nicely."

"Yes, thank you," she replied to him. But then she bit her lip, thoughtfully, "But if they want to do something at her or Elain's that's fine. I can also cook, but not here, please, I don't feel like tidying up afterwards." she looked into his eyes with a pleading look.

"It's okay, it's not a problem," he shifted to her calves, "Although, if the only problem has to be the fact that you don't feel like tidying up, you know I wouldn't let you."

Nesta grunted, "I don't want you to do all the work yourself."

Cassian let out a puff of air through his nostrils, "You can't be the only one working hard in this house Nes, let me have some of the glory too." he joked.

"But I'm not the only one." she said in an overly serious tone, "You're always at work and I know you're working overtime, filling in for your colleagues, don't think I haven't noticed," she scolded him. Cassian lowered his head, feeling his cheeks turn red. "And I'm here at home and I can't work and I've been like this for months now and even before that with Celia-" she sighed, bringing a hand to her face, "I just wish I could help you bring something extra home."

Cassian stopped massaging her leg, surprised at what he was hearing. He moved away from her, enough so that he could stand up without bumping into her stomach and then looked at her, shaking his head, "What on earth are you talking about?" he asked, "Nesta you're raising our children. You're doing a much more tiring and exhausting job than mine ever will be." he pulled himself upright, "True, it's just as rewarding and enjoyable to be able to stay home and watch our children grow up, but you're the biggest help I could ever get right now. We don't need money right now."

"But-"

"No buts." he said arching his eyebrows and pushing her towards the bed, "Do you think you can sit?" she nodded pensively and let him help her up onto the mattress. "Nesta what you're doing is admirable and I'm sure not everyone could handle it as well as you can."

Nesta stopped in the middle of the bed, turning to look at him with a shocked expression.

Cassian was just as shocked. That she didn't realize how much she was actually helping him was beyond comprehension.

"I can only get by because you're there," she murmured, looking away, "I'd never make it on my own."

"And no one expects you to make it, Nes." he said stunned. He really couldn't understand where all the doubt was coming from, "You don't have to make it on your own and you're not doing it on your own."

He had her settled so that her back was to him and she was turned to the wall. He placed his hands over her back and began to make concise circles on the bottom, applying pressure where he knew the pain was most concentrated. Nesta's head fell forward in relief.

"You really don't think you're helping me in any way?"

"No, I-" she froze mid-sentence, "It's not that."

"Then what is it?" he asked, using his knuckles to massage her shoulder muscles.

Nesta groaned softly, "It's just that I wish I could go back to work and read all the books I want and I wish I could feel tired and be able to let my kids cry without anyone telling me what to do and how to do it. I wish I could move without the terror of going into labor at any moment and-" she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I wish I wasn't so hormonal right now."

He could tell that her thoughts were all over the place.

There had been other such crises during Celia's pregnancy. The fear that they wouldn't measure up as parents to so many children. They were in constant thought that they were not giving them enough, that they were teaching them the wrong lessons. Cassian had received some nasty comments himself about how they were raising their children, and he knew right away that someone must have said something to Nesta that day.

They had always had stronger, more heartfelt reactions on her, and now that she was pregnant it was all much more altered.

"What happened today?" he asked her under his breath after a few moments of silence.

"No one slept, I didn't have a moment's peace and then we left and walked to the mall. I had to carry Nora all the way there and-" her voice broke on the last sentence and Cassian stopped his ministrations on her. He laid both hands on her back, getting as close as he could, letting his hands slide down her hips and then over her belly, until his chest made contact with her back and Nesta pushed back against him.

She dropped her head onto Cassian's shoulder.

"And?" he murmured, spurring her on.

"Everything hurt so much, Cass," she replied in a watery voice, "It was like I was being stabbed in the back and I couldn't put Nora down because she'd start crying."

A sharp twinge of pain shot through his chest. He began to gently massage her belly and shortly after he felt her small hands settle on his, pushing harder, "No one would try to say you're a bad mother just because you don't pick up your daughter when you're hurting."

She didn't answer.

"Celia?" he asked.

"Ezra and Cal held her hand the whole way, she walked so much," she said with a half smile on her face. "When we walked in they immediately started acting up and then they started crying and I couldn't take it anymore and these ladies said I was an awful mother and it's true, Cassian." she jerked in his arms as she said those last words. He only held her tighter, taking a deep breath. "Who is the mother who can't calm her own children when they cry? Her own children." she shook her head, running a hand under her eyes.

He couldn't see her face, but he knew she had started crying again.

"Nesta listen to me." he whispered to her, kissing her shoulder and then the tip of her ear. "You are the most loving and caring mother I know. Your children are perfectly healthy and you've never let them lack for anything. You've never raised your voice to them. You've never threatened them or grounded them-"

"I'm not a monster," she muttered.

"And more importantly," he said smiling and holding her tighter, "your children are happy."

"But Cal today-"

"Cal is downstairs watching TV with his brother and he's been telling me about his day and he's the happiest kid ever," he interrupted her, "Just because he threw a tantrum and cried a little doesn't mean you're not a good mother."

She sighed and nodded, though she didn't look convinced.

Cassian continued to stroke the spots on her belly where he knew her skin pulled the most, her hand still on his playing with the wedding ring on his finger when Nesta said, "I saw Tomas today."

Cassian froze behind her, holding his breath. He'd known it, but hearing the fear in her voice now as she said the name of the man Cassian hated most in the world didn't stop him from wincing.

"He bumped Cal with the cart and knocked him over and I didn't realize it was him until he called me," Nesta continued.

When Cassian spoke, his voice came out much harsher and tighter than he intended, "Did he-" he cleared his throat, "Did he say anything?"

"No, he-" Nesta brought both hands to her stomach, shifting his. She moved uncomfortably in his arms and Cassian loosened his grip on his wife, realizing she wanted to move. He grabbed her by the hips, trying to pull her up so she could turn toward him, and when she was finally sitting up with her back against the headboard of the bed, she sighed. "I saw him, Cass, and I froze." she said under her breath, looking into his eyes. "He touched Cal's hair and it was like he was touching me, again, and I completely froze and then the baby kicked and he touched my-" she took a ragged breath as her eyes filled with tears. When she spoke again, her voice was so weak that Cassian had to appeal to every ounce of his reasoning not to get up and go find Tomas to kill him.

He took her hands, remaining silent as a revolting feeling took over his body. The idea of Nesta being touched by that filthy man made his guts turn. The idea of his children-

A choked sob brought him back into the room, "And I wanted him to go and stop looking at Ezra and Celia and Nora and I could only move when Ezra called me, but he followed us and blocked our way. He asked me about you, wanted to know who you were, and it was like going back in time and I couldn't- I couldn't, Cass-" Nesta brought a hand to her chest, her eyes and mouth wide as panic appeared in her gaze and air struggled to reach her lungs.

Cassian squeezed her hands, speaking softly, "Nesta, it's okay." a sob from her, "You're all home." he murmured starting to massage her palm, "You're home with me."

Her breathing became even more erratic and she shook her head, closing her eyes.

Cassian closed his eyes as well, "I'm sorry you had to see him again and I'm sorry you couldn't move, but it's understandable, sweetheart." he was trying to keep his tone of voice relatively low, to calm her down, but it was proving difficult for him as he viewed Tomas watching his daughters. "He shouldn't have touched your belly. He shouldn't have just touched you at all. And he shouldn't have gotten close to Cal or Andra." he seethed. "And if I could I would go to him and rip his hands off." he let slip as he imagined the terror Nesta must have felt at that moment.

Nesta sobbed and the sound broke Cassian's heart, "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm sorry."

A pang of pain tightened in his chest as his face turned into a mask of controlled anger, "Don't ever apologize to me, please," he whispered, "Not for this stuff."

"But I couldn't do anything, even after all this time-" a hiccup broke the sentence, "He still has all this power over me. It's not fair."

It's not fair.

Cassian nodded, biting the inside of his cheek, "You're right, it's not fair." he squeezed her hands lightly, telling her to look at his face. She quickly did so. "You're not with him anymore. You're free. You don't owe him anything, just like you never owed him anything." Nesta took a shaky breath, stopping sobbing. "You have a family, you're a wonderful mother and wife. And you deserve all of this."

Nesta's eyes went wide, realizing where this was going.

Cassian took a deep breath, "You're not worthless, you're not hopeless or useless." he closed his eyes as Nesta mimicked him, breathing deeply in turn. "You are a strong, independent woman, it doesn't matter how much he said otherwise. It didn't matter before and it doesn't matter now. It's just meaningless words.

"I know you, Nesta, and you are the light of my life. The light of every person in this house. The only thing that keeps us going." he whispered in a weak voice, as Nesta leaned forward toward him and cried silently.

Cassian moved closer to her on the mattress so that she could rest her forehead against his chest, his shoulder, wherever she wanted, for support.

He had repeated those words to her so many times over the years. He didn't think he'd ever have to do it again, certainly not after so long that they both knew Tomas had moved to another continent entirely.

"I know you and you're nothing like he describes," he encircled her shoulders with arms when Nesta let go of a particularly loud sob. "You are the exact opposite of what he says." he kissed one temple, stroking the hair on her back.

She shivered in his arms, "I know." she whispered against his shirt.

Cassian managed to force a smile onto his lips, even though she couldn't see it, he knew she would hear it when he spoke, "I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

"Because I can only imagine how hard it was for you to see him again, and although I would have appreciated a different approach to everything that happened this afternoon, you handled it perfectly and our kids are fine." he passed his hands over her shoulders and pushed her away from him so he could look at her face. "And it's okay that you broke down now, it's normal. I'm glad you told me about it. Thank you." he spoke against her lips.

She smiled, breathing a laugh through her tears, "I love you."

"I love you." repeated Cassian, sighing. He cupped her cheek, brushing a thumb under her eye, before kissing her. No rush or force, just pure, raw emotion as their lips caressed in a desperate kiss.

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[luxekook]

chapter seven.

⇥ pairing: ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 3.6k

⇥ warnings: 18+, lots of cursing, general chaotic energy, poly relationship, a short confrontation, mentions of slut-shaming, switch!reader, dom!joon, switch!jin, sub!jimin, library shenanigans, an abundance of coffee, punishments, spanking, bad puns (jin is in this chapter, DUH), many nerd references uwu

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

characters | prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

Chapter Seven

Quinn Library – 3:54pm

The end of September passes in a blur of studying, partying, volunteering, and spending time with friends. The month’s conclusion also includes the increasing presence of seven boys in my everyday routine.

Since giving Taehyung the suck of his life in the bathroom of Hannigan’s, I have been basically fighting off the seven of them for a moment to breathe. But, sometimes breathing is overrated when being smothered by affection.

Going from being single to essentially dating seven people is quite the adjustment. I found myself growing attached to them – something that both excited and scared the shit out of me. We haven’t discussed labels or anything, but I figure it’s only a matter of time. The boys have apparently been planning an elaborate first date for this upcoming weekend, and I feel like they’ll probably ask to make it official then.

My stomach erupts in butterflies at the thought, and I take a calming breath. No need to overthink such things.

While it might be unconventional by some societal standards, polyamory is simply a way to love. Why should love come with confines? With binary expectations? The saying ‘love is love’ gets thrown around a lot, but I believe it bears repeating.

Jenni and Luna have been nothing but supportive to me over the past two weeks. They even came with me to volunteer this past weekend because they - and I quote - wanted to ‘check out our vibe’. But, I wholeheartedly expect that the real reason had actually been for them to feel out the boys’ intentions.

Why did I suspect this? Well, because Jungkook had come up to me within the first fifteen minutes at the worksite quivering in fear over how ‘scary my friends were’ and how ‘Jenni had cornered him to interrogate him while Luna hovered behind her, menacingly holding a nail-gun’.

I had never felt more loved and supported by my friends.

My phone dings, and I quickly hasten to put it on silent, shooting an embarrassed and apologetic look around the library. It seems like most people have headphones in, and I let out a sigh of relief. No one wants to be that one loud person in the library.

Checking my notifications, I smile when I see it’s a SnapChat from Hobi in the group chat the boys created a few weeks ago. My thumb swipes it open, and I barely contain myself from announcing to the whole library how vibrantly handsome one of my potential boyfriends is.

I quickly send a SnapChat back of me and my stack of books in the library with the caption ‘send help in the form of coffee’.

Immediately, Taehyung sends a flurry of heart eyes emojis in the chat, Jungkook sends a ‘noona is so cute’, and Yoongi sends back a picture of a black screen with the caption ‘come nap with me’.

God, I would love to nap with Yoongi right now… Alone time with the older boy is so elusively precious. One day last week at their house, I had mentioned wanting to learn piano. Yoongi had just grabbed my hand and tugged me to his room. We had spent a couple hours together in the small corner of his room playing on his keyboard.

Well, he had been playing; I had been fumbling around like a buffoon - half uncoordinated in general and half flustered by how good Yoongi looked playing. His hands had been so nimble as they flew over the keys, crafting melodies I could only assume he had composed. His focus had been so fucking hot as he nodded slightly along to the tempo in his head, his eyes shooting over to look at me every once in a while.

My hand kink? Activated.

My willpower to not kiss the shit out of Yoongi? Nonexistent.

When Yoongi had paused in between songs, I may or may not have grabbed him by his shirt collar and kissed him. His blushing attempt to dodge me had been so cute; and when I had stopped trying to kiss him, he had pouted and then kissed me instead.

What a cutie…

A giggle draws my attention from my reminiscing. At first, I pay it no mind, taking it as a directive to dive back into my studies. But then, the whispering starts.

“I heard she’s fucking her way through the whole house.”

“Isn’t there a term for that?”

“Yeah, a frat rat.”

I slam my 500-page textbook closed and stand, leveling the duo of gossiping girls with a glare that could make grown men cry. It had before when I had to properly eviscerate my uncle in defense of feminism at our last family gathering. What a time that had been.

“Is there a problem?” I force the question through gritted teeth, stalking over towards their nearby table. I relish in the way they gape at me, eyes wide and pupils quivering, “I’m sorry. I’m afraid my complaint jar is at capacity. Please don’t try again later.”

The girl on the right gulps, “No-nope, there’s no problem! We were just leaving. Right, Janika?”

“No,” The girl who had called me a ‘frat rat’ just moments before crosses her arms and stands, “I do, like, have a problem.”

“Janika,” The other girl tugs on the sleeve of the one standing, “Don’t.”

“Yeah, Janika,” I smile, “Don’t.”

I can see the moment she snaps.

“You’re, like, such a fucking bitch! I don’t know what they all see in you. Oh wait, yes I do. You’re fucking easy.”

I consider myself to be a patient person, but having to endure this type of rant against my character - and against women’s sexual freedom in general - has pushed me well past my limits.

“Now, listen here, Janika,” I take another step forward, “You can keep talking your shit. I really don’t give a flying fuck what you think about me. But I really advise you to google ‘how to stop slut-shaming for dummies’ because it seems like you need a crash course.”

Janika’s face darkens, “Whatever. They’ll get tired of you anyway.”

“Yeah,” I let out an amused laugh, “I’m sure they’ll get real tired of me choking on their dicks every night.”

Letting out a gasp, Janika whirls back around to face her silent friend, “Let’s go. I don’t want to, like, be around her any longer.”

“Buh-bye now,”I wiggle my fingers in their direction as they shuffle out of the library.

Smiling in satisfaction, I head back towards my table. Without hesitation, I gather my books and belongings and head upstairs to the quiet floor. Any more distractions or confrontations would probably make my blood pressure pop off the charts.

The quiet floor, as one of my safe havens, is home to several small private study rooms. Peering into each, I start to lose hope that any would be available. Finally, the very last room proves me wrong, and I swing open the door and almost in tears over the sweet, sweet solitude.

This particular study room is tucked away in the very far corner of the library’s second floor. Not many people are aware of its location, and it seems that paid off for me today. Plopping my things down across the table in the center of the tiny room, I follow suit and drop down into one of the two chairs adjoining the table.

What a clusterfuck of an afternoon… This sadly isn’t the first time I’ve heard some comments being made about my association with the BTS boys, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. Yet, part of me knew all along that this would be the trade-off.

After all, what are a few irrelevant opinions to seven gorgeous and loyal partners? Inconsequential - in my opinion. That is the reason why I haven’t breathed a word of the backlash to anyone.

Sighing, I flip open my textbook to where I had been before being rudely interrupted.

The amygdala plays a key role in emotion and behavior…

“Noona?”

I jump a half-mile out of my chair, slapping a hand over my pounding heart. Jimin had somehow managed to enter the room without my knowledge. Had he fucking teleported?

Holding a giant iced coffee in one hand and a cinnamon bun in the other, Jimin beams at me and ignores the fact he just scared the living shit out of me. “Hi, noona! I saw your SnapChat while I was in class, and I came here as soon as I could.”

I stare dumbfounded at the angel before me. Jimin is slightly out of breath with reddened cheeks and a sweaty brow. His black track-pants are slung low on his hips, his long-sleeve white t-shirt clings to his torso, his black duffle bag thrown carelessly over one shoulder. He must have run over straight from dance class.

Standing abruptly, I stalk over to where Jimin is still posted up by the doorway to the study room. Toe to toe with him, I blurt out while still half in a daze, “You really brought me coffee and food?”

He eyes me warily like I might suddenly jump on him at any moment. Shifting his weight back and forth, Jimin hesitantly replies, “Um, yes?"

I take the coffee and cinnamon bun from his hands, place them on the table, and then tackle him with the biggest hug. "You absolute sweetheart!" I murmur into the crook of his neck, "This made my day. Thank you, Jimin-ie."

His hands tentatively wrap around me, pulling me closer. "You're welcome, noona. I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

“Well, I really appreciate it, baby,” My lips brush over the crevice of his collarbone and relish in his shudder. Bringing my head up to face his, I smile widely at him, “Can I kiss you, Jimin-ie?”

“Yes,” He sighs out, eyes already closing in anticipation. I press my lips to his, still smiling softly against his mouth. His lips are plush under mine, velvety soft. My tongue swipes across his bottom lip and— Is that coffee I taste?

I pull back, “Jimin, did you sip my coffee on your way here?”

The boy looks rightfully alarmed, “I– y-yes. But only a little, noona!”

Cute.

“Hmm,” I trail my fingers down his chest, “I guess I’ll make an exception for you this time since you were the one to bring it for me.”

Jimin relaxes slightly, but his expression is strangely disappointed. I stare at him quizzically, and he blushes.

“What is it?” I lean against the table, facing him.

He clears his throat, staring intensely at the ground, “You can still punish me if you want, (y/n)-noona.”

My eyebrows shoot upwards at his offer, and then I let out a slight chuckle, “Oh, Jimin… That would be a favor to you, wouldn’t it? My baby boy wants to be punished, hm? Did dance practice make you all hot and bothered? Jungkook tells me that has been happening to you lately.”

Jimin’s face explodes in color as he mutters, “That little bitch will pay for this.”

Suddenly, the door swings open with a resounding thud, nearly clipping Jimin in the shoulder.

“Your savior has arrived!” Kim Seokjin announces loudly in spite of the studiously silent atmosphere of the quiet floor. His hands hold two steaming hot travel mugs, which I can only guess are filled with the elixir of the gods (aka coffee).

Seokjin’s eyes glance around the room as he takes in the fact that I’m not alone as he obviously had expected. “Wait, Jimin-ie? What are you doing here?” Jin’s eyes flick down to the coffee and cinnamon roll that lay on the table. “Goddamn it!”

“You were too slow, hyung,” Jimin smirks happily as he takes a seat in the chair I had previously vacated. He slouches smugly as he stares up at the fuming older boy.

“Too slow?!” Jin roars.

“Jin,” I chastise, circumventing around him to shut the door.

“Sorry, babe,” Seokjin says while still glaring daggers at the all-too-pleased Jimin. Suddenly, his expression changes into a sneaky look that makes me both want to run and jump his bones. “Well,” He waves the two coffee mugs around in the air, “I made these myself - with love. I didn’t buy that generic shit; I brewed it, baby.”

It’s Jimin’s turn again to look disgruntled, and I can’t help but laugh at their antics.

“Any and all coffee is appreciated and loved by me – the more the merrier. So, thank you both,” You say, taking one of the travel mugs from Seokjin. Kissing his cheek, you turn back to sit opposite Jimin at the table.

“She kissed me on the lips!” Jimin bursts.

“Park Jimin!” I cry as Jin splutters some sort of incoherent rant about fairness and equality.

Jimin holds eye contact with me, still leaning back in his chair like he’s the king of the fucking universe. But, he’s not; I am.

My chair hits the wall behind me with a bang as I stand, planting my hands on the table to loom over Jimin. “Do you think it’s fun to push your hyung, Jimin? Does it amuse you to be a little shit?”

I can see the moment that Jimin decides to be a brat. His eyes heat up in a challenge, and he firmly answers, “Yes, noona.”

“Get up.” The change in my tone is apparent. Jimin gulps. Getting to his feet, he stares back at me expectantly.

“Jin,” I address the older boy while still maintaining eye contact with Jimin, “What kind of punishment do you think I should give our Jimin here?”

Seokjin rounds my other side, grinning, “Well, (y/n) darling, I believe he should get spanked.”

“Interesting choice,” I murmur, turning to face Jin, “That’s what you’re going to get then.”

“What?” Jin squawks, arms waving rapidly around in the air, “But I didn’t do anything!”

“Nothing is what you should have done, Jin,” I push him against the wall, “You know better than to let Jimin rile you up like this.”

Those plump lips of his pout dramatically as he whines, “But, (y/n)…”

“But nothing,” I say and then whirl around to face the other boy. He’s still standing where I left him with his eyes glued to the pair of us. “Jimin,” I hold his gaze, “You’re going to watch. You’re not going to touch yourself, your hyung isn’t going to touch you, and I’m not going to touch you.”

His eyes widen comically, “No! That’s not fair!”

“Do you want to be gagged, too, baby boy?” I ask, cocking my head slightly. Seeing his emphatic head shakes, I grin. “That’s what I thought. Now, stay.”

Turning back to Jin, I smirk slightly as I ask, “Punishment now or later?”

Seokjin’s eyes scrunch cutely in confusion, “What?”

“You see,” I move closer to him, my body brushes his, “I think you earned a punishment, but I think you also earned helping me punish Jimin.”

A wide grin crosses Jin’s face as he glances back at the corner Jimin is stewing in. “I would be honored to help you punish him, babe.”

“That’s what I figured,” I smile briefly at him before slowly sliding my hands up his chest to rest on the nape of his neck. Holding them there, I press the lightest of kisses to the corner of his lips.

Jin’s breath hitches in his throat.

I run my tongue against the seam of his mouth, taking my time and savoring the sweet taste of him. His lips part to let me in, my tongue sliding across his. I grind against him as we kiss, moving my hips in such a way that makes him groan and lean back harder against the wall.

“What the fuck is going on in here?”

Ripping my mouth from Jin’s, I turn to face the newcomer.

Namjoon stands in the doorway holding yet another cup of coffee, his face thunderous. "What do the three of you think you're doing? This is the goddamn library, you heathens!”

Seokjin jumps out of his skin in fright, pushing me away faster than I can anticipate. Stumbling back, I crash into Jimin – who apparently had ventured out of his assigned corner. Brat.

“The shades were open!” Namjoon continues to rant as he flicks the aforementioned item down to cover the door’s window, “Did you want people to see you?”

He reads the expression on my face correctly, “Oh, but you did, didn’t you, (y/n)?” Namjoon approaches where I’m still captured in Jimin’s embrace. Glaring down at me, he taunts, “So quick to stake your claim; but, make no mistake, they were mine first.”

Shaking out of Jimin’s hold, I straighten, raising my chin to meet Namjoon’s gaze full-on, “That’s interesting. I didn’t realize you were so lenient with your partners.”

Jimin makes a choking noise behind me. Jin stands behind Namjoon, waving a hand in front of his throat to clearly tell me to stop talking. I keep going, “Perhaps I need to teach you how to discipline.”

Namjoon flips me around, shoves Jimin out of the way, and bends me facedown across the table.

“Jin,” He says, his voice growly, “Stand in the hall and let me know if you can hear us.”

The sound of the door opening and closing alerts me that Jin followed Namjoon’s instructions without a word.

“Jimin,” He continues, “Hold (y/n)’s hands out in front of her.” Jimin ascquieces, staring apologetically down at me as he tugs my hands towards him.

“This is cute,” I say, “I always love holding Jimin-ie’s hands.”

Thwack. The stinging imprint of Namjoon’s palm on my ass burns deliciously. I arch my back, looking over my shoulder at him with a half-smile. “Do it harder, daddy.”

A breath sucks in between his lips as I utter the word I know will get him feeling as hot as me. “You’re playing a dangerous game, baby girl,” Namjoon grits out, his jaw clenched tightly.

“Oh, daddy,” I say, “Don’t you remember? I’m the fucking Queen.”

“Was that a chess pun? Nice.” A muffled voice followed by a squeaky laugh sounds through the door.

“Seokjin,” Namjoon seethes, flying over to open the door and drag the older boy back inside, “I thought I told you to let me know if you could hear us.”

I tug out of Jimin’s gentle hold, straighten back up, and then situate myself into a sitting position on the table.

I watch amusedly as Jin shimmies his way out of Joon’s grasp, “Yah! It’s not my fault I get intense FOMO. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Besides, I only heard you because I had my ear pressed to the door.”

Jimin stifles a giggle. I let out a full-on laugh. Namjoon mumbles what sounds like a plea to some higher power under his breath.

“See what I have to deal with?” Namjoon turns to me, shaking his head. “Are you sure you want to sign up for this?”

“That depends,” I swing my legs back and forth as I stay perched on the table, “Are you going to keep spanking me?”

The boy who had just unhesitatingly bent me over to punish me now blushes and rubs the back of his neck. “I mean, probably? You have quite a mouth on you, baby.”

Hopping off the table, I laugh, “Good answer. Ten points to Gryffindor.”

“Woo!” Jin cheers, “Nice job on the House Points, Joon-ie!”

“I am in love with idiots,” Jimin sighs.

Grabbing my phone from my backpack, I let out a slight yell as I read the time. “Shit, shit, shit, shit!” I scramble to shove all of my textbooks back into my bag.

“What is it, noona?” Jimin worries, appearing next to me. “Are you late for class?”

“No,” I cry, “It’s so much worse. I’m late for my weekly Animal Crossing discord chat! Heath is gonna kill me…”

“Heath?” Jin scowls, “Who is this Heath you speak of?”

“Chill, fam,” I shrug my backpack onto my shoulders and stare contemplatively down at the three different coffees. “You can’t get jealous every time I mention a new person. What’s next? You’re gonna come for Tom Nook?”

Namjoon - who must play Animal Crossing - stifles a laugh as Jin pouts. “She has a point, Jin.”

“And so does a pencil. Big whoop,” Jin scowls with his arms folded.

“Aw, Seokjin-ie,” I coo, reaching over to pinch his cheek, “Don’t be mad. You’ll get to spend all day with me on Saturday after volunteering! What are we doing, anyways?” I level Joon with my best side-eye as I ask that question, knowing he is more likely than not the mastermind behind our planned date.

“It’s going to be great, noona!” Jimin pipes up, hugging me from the side, “You’re going to love it…You’re going to love us.” He murmurs the last part, probably not meaning for me to hear; but, I do.

God, I do.

“We’ll pick you up before volunteering,” Joon says, “Just bring yourself and a change of clothes.”

“What?” I decide - fuck it - and attempt to grab all three coffees, “No overnight bag?”

Jin, who had just taken a sip of his own coffee, spews it everywhere. “Pack one,” He gasps out in between coughs.

Laughing, I walk to the door, which Jimin kindly opens for me. “Okay, I’ll think about it. Ah, I’m so late. Jimin and Jin, I’ll punish you at a later time. Joon, you can try to punish me at a later time.” Living for their astonished expressions, I wave as best I can with three coffees in hand, “Bye, babes! Text me-e-e.”

As I make my way out of the library, it hits me that I only have one more day to prepare for this date. Fucking hell…

a/n: this is such a filler of a chap with a tinge of drama mixed in, hehe. the next one is gonna be that date tho uwu stay tuuuuuuned and thanks 4 reading

taglist: @catsandstrawberries @h5naaa @meowmeowyoongles @leftflowerprunedonut @rjsmochii @athletes-of-god @karissassirak @cage7241​ @weallhavesecretsinthebestway @cvbachacbitch @honeyspillings @valiantcollectorofsandwiches @fivesecondsofsarang @oii-f-eli-x2 @joonsroses @theevilyouknow @jooniescupcakes @expensive-grl @i-dont-even-know-fck @doingmybestalltheftime @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh @laced-brds @breeeeh17 @lpayne612 @peachyharmoney @rilakoya @chulchuchi @tabula-rasa0 @guccishookv @nomimits7 @i-like-puppy-mg @s-noir @anna-sorel @im-a-space-child @yeontanismypresident @drowning-in-oxygen @team-wang-puppy @lvvegood @anongirl007 @may114 @r-e-d-i-s-h @unatempesta-dipensieri @dragon-rider-with-a-book​ @blueberrygeniejam @wondrsblog @vi-hoshi @kirbykook​ @katemwatson​ @kawaiikpoplover268​ @amsteramyy​ @sami4life @a-feeling-of-euphoria​ @the-jackals​ @bubbletae7​ @platinum-grenade​ @bunnyboyenthusiast @brightly-byun @oofmeintheheadpls​ @sadboibts @lidda​ @goldenwidow3​ @t-mel19​ @lmkjimin​ @psiphidragon​ @jeon-joker​ @sathom013​ @lustremyg @ggsmashgg​ @justyouraveragerando​ @shadowstark​ @our-little-meow-meow @baby-hobii @toddsgirl27​ @mythicalmeep​ @asifetch7​ @kassandravictoria​ @eltrain80 @briannasthings​ @bumblekey93​ @ohmwreckr @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @softchimmee​ @kookoo-kachoo​ @lenuminous​ @ass-hole-in-one​ @peaches-422​ @spacejooon​ @sleepyje0n​ @uxwi​ @tellmeyoulovemepls​ @yady24​ @lovesick-heart0​ @redirect-min​ @hopetookourvibe​ @noonaduck​ @mini-coop25​ @multifandomgirl29​ @rhd31​ @yoongixvevo​ @sweetnspicy93​ @kuppyjiminie​ @love-and-other-possibilities​ @fuckyouandtheboatyoucamein @rvnchr4nd4​ @geminidrawsstuff​ @livorna​ @naajix​ @minjoonhome​

another a/n: if u asked to be added to the taglist and u did not get tagged, u might be one of the couple ppl that i couldn’t tag [check ur settings, fam!]

[theres-someone-to-write-about-it]

Winx Club Characters

Musa: audio processing issues. Uses her magic every day subtly to boost volume or base but sometimes when people talk too much or too low it’s hard for her to understand. She also uses sign language a lot and uses her headphones to maybe raise the volume of background noice so she can hear it or completely tune everything out. Wind chimes all around the room. Spoken word poetry can turn into a blood bath. Use the vibrations of peoples words as a weapon against them. I can’t picture her as straight either. At the very least bi if not full lesbian or maybe even demi.

Flora: beautiful, wonderful, sweet Flora who is calm under pressure and in crisis and shows her love to her friends by understanding them. She’s the first to learn sign language the moment she meets Musa. Maybe learns in secret and surprises her. She’s not passive and gets distracted with her plants sometimes but they require a lot of tending to.

Layla (Aisha): ‘Magic shapes and shifting tides’. They’re able to manipulate water at the molecular level. Creating the form of objects as needed for useful things. Always always swaying. Sea legs are constant and they trip a lot but in a boat or in the water, they’re incredibly graceful. Always has a water bottle. They’re similar to Stella in their moods are affected by the tides and sometimes they butt heads about it. Ebb and flow. They’re royalty too so they gets the pressure and always tries to be better even sometimes to a self destructive level. Nonbinary!! As hell!! They have no shape!

Stella: strong Leo energy, fiercely loyal to her friends even when she can be self involved. She’s the sun and the moon. Always know a what time it is and where the sun and moon are. Great at directions which is why she’s a mentor. Show her being a mentor to all of them not just Bloom. Fashionista but not in a snobby stuck up or even brooding way. Royalty vibes are important but not because it’s weakness. Being unkind is weakness. Not sticking up or standing by people who need it is weakness. Her entire being is affected by the sky.

Techna: so logical and analytical but amazingly adaptable. Software engineering mindset of effective problem solving. Is the second to learn sign language for Musa and recommends technology to help. Would create an optimal watering schedule for all of Floras plants and a catalog for Stella’s clothes if asked. The touchy feely stuff is not her/their thing but she/they supports them in her/their way. Feels connected in the city and almost lost in the country where technology is scarce. Definitely a tech geek and the one for recommendations. I can’t picture Techna as cis but they are definitely ace.

Bloom: a good relationship with her parents who told her much earlier she was adopted. Can get heart burn a lot and coughs. Runs warmer than everyone and is definitely the cuddle buddy on the couch. Sagittarius energy with the passion burning inside but she doesn’t let it run away with her. She knows it’s a new world and she’s excited to learn about it. Can be narrow minded and focused on one thing when other things are happening that might deserve attention but has deadly accuracy with her words and magic. She’s determined and stubborn sometimes to an annoying degree. But I can’t picture her ever loosing her temper so where she says something hurtful to her friends. She measures her words carefully even when tensions run high and could never hurt them like that.  But also she’s ruled by passions so if her heart isn’t in it, it shows. Pansexual. Can’t change my mind.

Sky: strong and intelligent leader type first and foremost. Happy go lucky. I wanna say Cancer sun with a Sag moon and maybe a Taurus rising. Cause he’s sweet and in touch with emotions but is able to be grounded and see things clearly with a little passion thrown in there. His family and friends are his world. He takes being a future king very seriously but also isn’t afraid to have fun. All American boy Chris Evans honestly. That’s the tweet.

Riven: not a piece of shit stoner dude. He can be the brooding bad boy whose pretty cocky and who one enjoys taking down a peg. But at the end of the day he’s a secret ride or die. He loves his friends and does little things to show it that don’t really show it. Like taking the time to learn some new tech Timmy is working on so he can talk about it with someone but also as a way to flex his brain. Trains with Sky whose probably the best so he can be the best and protect him. Would absolutely play the sacrifice play but in a last minute you’d never see it coming way. Annoyingly chaotic bi energy.

Dane: as much as I don’t really know how this character fits into the overall show. I like his potential he was never given so I’m gonna give it to him. He’s a soft boy from a kingdom that’s actually dealing with bad shit. He’s been through horrible things and honestly wanted the academy to learn just more than he already knows and deals with. He’s tough and strong and great in a fight. But also doesn’t give two shits about toxic men questioning why he enjoys the greenhouse. Because it’s shit you need to know my dude, what’s gonna kill you or heal you when you’re in a realm with a completely different ecosystem. I want him to be at least 60% gay and have that never be something that’s mentioned without him in the room. Like he gets a boyfriend? Maybe he already has one? Chill! Now onto how he would absolutely break your legs if you were talking about any of his friends. Low key maybe Phillip Hamilton vibes...

[allsassnoclass]

“Every day you wake up and make it my problem” Luke to Ashton

alrighty a theatre au for the only person in the theatre department who can handle me <3

Opening night brings a palpable excitement in the air, a nervous energy that can only naturally be produced at this point in the production process.  The scenes have been blocked, the lines memorized, the sets built, the costumes sewn, and every piece of design meticulously brought together to create something ready for sharing.  As Luke hangs up the laundered costume pieces and ensures that the dressing rooms are prepared for the night, he can already feel the excitement amongst the crew milling about.  It will only be compounded once the actors arrive for the night.

Luke has his sewing kit, numerous pins, extra hairspray, and a bite light.  There aren't many quick changes in Hamlet, and all of them have been easily doable in dress rehearsals.  He's ready.

When he wanders out to backstage, Calum and Michael seem to be ready, too.  Calum is sitting on the acting block Michael has commandeered as his seat since tech, scrolling through his phone while Michael goes through his pre-show duties on the other side of the stage.

"Ready for tonight?" Luke asks, making Calum jump.

"Yeah.  Is the laundry up?"

"Costumes are all clean and accounted for," Luke says.  "If you want an empty dressing room, now is your time."

He stands and stretches, wandering over to the dressing rooms.  Luke takes his spot and watches Michael  continue to double-check props on the other side of the stage.  Once satisfied, he heads back over, stopping short when he sees Luke.

"You're not my boyfriend," Michael says.

"He went to go get ready before the rush," Luke says.  "Ready for tonight?"

"Very," Michael says.  "No one has broken anything yet, which is a bit worrying, but I'm fucking ready to open."

"No one's broken any props or sets, you mean.  I've had to resew numerous buttons and seams.  Ashton can barely keep his clothes on."

"I bet you like that," Michael says, waggling his eyebrows.  Luke flips him off, too used to Michael's teasing to be truly bothered.  Ever since he first saw their lead actor and tripped over his own feet he hasn't known peace.

In his defense, Ashton is very beautiful.  It is not Luke's fault that he got flustered during their first interaction.  At least he was only writing down measurements instead of having to take them, because being that close to him without time to mentally prepare would have been embarrassing for everyone.  (If he still has to take a few breaths when helping Ashton get on his more intricate costumes, that's his business, especially because being under the stage lights only enhances all of Ashton's best features.)

"Ashton gets to make out with your boyfriend every night.  Stop laughing," he says flatly.

"Yeah, and it's fucking hot," Michael says, nudging Luke out of his seat.

Luke rolls his eyes.  Reducing the relationship between Hamlet and Horatio to a "fucking hot" make out scene is a disservice to all of the painstaking work that Ashton, Calum, and the director have done to seamlessly incorporate it into the story without alienating or reducing Ophelia, but Michael isn't exactly wrong.

Ashton seems like a good kisser.  Luke wants to know what it'd be like to be on the receiving end of that when there's no acting involved.

Luke kills time with Michael until he has to go on headset, signaling that it's late enough that Luke should probably check on the actors.  Gertrude's zipper on her dress keeps getting jammed to the point where Luke is really considering replacing it.  It works most of the time, but Luke is getting sick of having to finagle it.  He helps her get it up and makes a note to replace it before tomorrow, then he heads to men's dress, ready to camp out until someone else needs him

"Luke!" Ashton greets exuberantly as soon as he steps in the door.  He has his makeup on, just simple things to ensure he doesn't get washed out under the stage lights, but he looks stunning.  He isn't even in his main costume yet, an intricate black tunic with gold embroidery meant to blur the line between historical and contemporary like everything else in the show, but Luke wants to swoon.

"Hi."

"Thanks for fixing my buttons," he says.  "Again."

"Try not to rip them off tonight," Luke says.

"I always try," Ashton says.  Somehow, Luke still feels like he's going to be fixing a button.  Ashton doesn't restrain himself onstage.  It makes him captivating to watch, but it also means that unnecessary rips and button tears occur, sometimes in ways that Luke thinks should be impossible.  Being wardrobe head for this production has taught him many new ways to break a costume.

He helps the actors here and there with things like hair or specialty makeup, distracting himself from Ashton changing in the background and passing the time until the actors go to warm ups.  Rosencrantz has managed to misplace his socks because he hadn't zipped his laundry bag when he gave it to be washed and Gildenstern can't find one of her shoes, but otherwise there isn't much for Luke to do with this show.  He wanders out by Michael, knowing by now where he can stand to watch from offstage and when he'll have to move so he's not in the way.

When the lights go down and the warnings about flash photography and food in the theater play over the loudspeaker, Luke's heart starts thumping harder in his chest.  Michael turns on the fog machine for a bit of haze at the beginning, Bernardo and Francisco take their places onstage, and the play begins.

Even after having seen the show during the crew view and hearing it over the monitors backstage every night since, he manages to get lost in the story.  Each performer is on top of things tonight, none more so than Ashton.  From the moment he steps out on stage the charismatic actor is gone, replaced by a moody but no less magnetic Hamlet.  His grief and anger is palpable in his introductory scene, and his relief at seeing Horatio for the first time perfectly sets up their dependency in the rest of the show.  His scene with the ghost is heartbreaking, and Luke finds himself subconsciously biting his lip and leaning forward, wanting nothing more than to erase his pain.  Hamlet is enamored by Ophelia and broken by her betrayal, and every soliloquy is captivating.  No one can command a stage like Ashton Irwin.

Intermission sees Luke attending to his actual job as a dresser, helping with the laces on a few costumes and checking with all the actors to be sure there's no issues.  Ashton grabs his shoulders and blurts an excited sentence about crowd reactions, then immediately goes backstage to get "back into the Hamlet zone."  Calum watches this interaction with raised eyebrows.  When he heads backstage, Luke hopes he's not going to gossip with Michael.

The second half of the show goes just as smoothly as the first.  Michael has him take care of the actress playing Oscric when she feels a little bit faint, but once she gets more water in her she perks back up and Luke can return to watching Ashton's breakdown on stage.  The ending duel scene is more polished and realistic than they've ever done it, but it's Horatio's final moments with Hamlet that leave Luke speechless.  Something about Calum cradling Ashton in his arms while Ashton commands him to stay alive and tell his story has Luke tearing up.

He leaves during curtain call to grab the laundry bag and set himself up outside the dressing rooms, ready to take everything that needs to be washed.  It feels anticlimactic to have the first night of the show done, but Luke typically doesn't feel the same sense of accomplishment as the actors do after each individual performance.  It never truly hits him until strike, when he has to put everything away and reset the theatre and costume space to prepare for the next show.  Luke congratulates every actor that passes and waits for them all to leave so he can go home.  There's no one waiting for him in the audience tonight and he wasn't told about any after-parties, so he's looking forward to getting sleep before returning to the costume shop tomorrow to take care of the notes he has.

"Ashton's the last one in men's dress," Calum says when he hands in his own laundry.  "He asked me to send you in."

Luke had been hoping that Ashton would be able to make it an entire show without a costume mishap.  Apparently that hope had been misguided.

"It's Luke," he announces, knocking on the door.

"Come in!"

Ashton is pulling on a t-shirt, giving Luke an accidental glimpse at the dimples in his lower back.  When he turns around he looks sheepish.

"I lost a button during the duel."

Luke sighs.

"I promise I'm not deliberately being destructive," Ashton says.  "I'm not trying to make more work for you."

"Yet every day you wake up and make it my problem," Luke says.  "Can I see which button?"

Ashton brings him his dueling vest, pointing out where a simple black button had fallen.  Luke will walk by the stage to see if it's still there or Michael found it, but if not then it won't be difficult to replace.

"I'm really sorry," Ashton says, still standing close.  "I swear I won't make you fix my costume tomorrow."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Luke says.  "You have the worst track record with costumes out of everyone I've ever worked with."

"Well, I need some excuse to keep talking to you."

Luke blinks at him.

"That was a joke.  I mean, I do love having a reason to talk to you, but it'd be shitty of me to be deliberately making your job hard."

"Oh," Luke says.  "You don't need a reason to talk to me.  You can just do it."

"There's not a lot of time for it in the middle of a show," Ashton says.  "Unless you'd want to see me outside of work sometime?  Say, for a coffee or dinner?  As a date?"

"Me?" Luke asks.  Ashton makes a show of looking around the empty dressing room.

"I don't see any other tall, attractive blond men named Luke who keep putting my clothing back together."

Luke smiles, not trying to hide his excitement.  He's a shit actor anyway, and Ashton would see right through him.

"I could do that, but only if you stop ruining your costumes every night.  Make it through tomorrow with no mishaps and we'll go on a date."

"You drive a hard bargain, Hemmings, but I'll try my best.  For you, I'd sew everything back together myself if I had to."

"Please don't," Luke says.

"You don't trust me?" Ashton pouts.

"No," Luke laughs.  "You keep destroying your costumes.  I'm not about to trust you to fix them correctly."

Ashton shrugs.  "Yeah, okay.  I'm not a good sewer, anyway."

"That's what you have me for," Luke says.  Ashton smiles, just as dazzling under the dressing room lights as it is onstage.  It takes Luke's breath away, just a little.

The dressing room door opens, bringing Luke back to Earth.  Calum pokes his head in.

"Hey Ash, your siblings want to see you.  Stop flirting with Luke and get out here."  He doesn't wait for a response, thankfully leaving them alone again for another moment.  Ashton ducks his head, scuffing his shoes against the floor.

"I shouldn't keep them waiting," he says.

"It's hard being a star," Luke replies.  It makes Ashton smile again, which is an exhilarating experience in of itself.

"We'll check in about the date tomorrow," Ashton says.  "No more costume mishaps, cross my heart."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Luke teases.  Ashton snorts.

"Have a good night, Luke.  Congrats on the show."

"You too," Luke says.  "You're really amazing up there."

"Thank goodness," Ashton says.  "It'd be a bit late to replace me otherwise."

Luke rolls his eyes with a smile.  "Get out of here, superstar.  Go see your family."

Ashton blows him a kiss and ducks into a bow with a flourish on the way out the door.  Luke stands in the middle of the dressing room, running his finger over the spot on Ashton's vest where the button is missing.  He should probably be annoyed, but he's not.  He's going on a date with Ashton at some point, and that's worth all of the lost buttons and torn costumes in the entire production.

[rosesvioletshardy]

can we do it? - billy/four chapter 8

so close to the end of the story ! this wasn’t my best story but i do have others in mind not sure if it’s going to be ben related or his characters

sorry about any requests that y’all might have sent for ben imagines i’m trying my hardest to write them but remember that i am working full time and that i am also a full time college student so it may take a while because my only free time is when i’m supposed to be sleeping but it doesn’t matter since i feel like you don’t like my writing anyways

so here’s chapter 8

summary: one team, seven people, two lovers, things are about to get crazy and zero and four don’t know if they can manage to do it.

masterlist

# of words: 2,608

warnings: angst:

taglist

--

After the fight, no one knew what to do. They all just stared at One hoping he was going to do something since he’s the one who warned them. As she was in the room crying, Billy was out smoking, not wanting to face anyone after what happened, especially One. Speaking of One, he was outside with his head in his hands, upset over what happened and how he knew it was bound to happen. Everyone was staring at him, waiting to go do something about it and he just sighed and got up to go see Y/N. 

He stood outside her room before knocking on the door and waiting for her to open it. After standing there for a few minutes, One walked in seeing that it wasn’t going to be opening anytime soon. He saw her figure laying down, her back facing him and towards the wall. Letting out a deep sigh, he went and sat down on the corner of the bed. Y/N knew it was One that entered her room and sat down; she knew that all too familiar sigh that he always does. 

“Um, listen. I didn’t want to say I told you so, but I told you so. God, that sounded so rude and I’m not good at this sentimental crap but you’re like a little sister to me and after seeing what Four said, I never wanted to punch him more. I know that sounds wrong but he pretty much deserves it for hurting you. This is why I didn’t want things like this to happen. Now I don’t know if your feelings are going to get in the way of the mission, which I know they aren’t so don’t kill me. I want everyone to work as a team and not let their feelings get in the way anymore.” he told her looking around her room hoping it’ll help him think of something

“What i’m trying to say is, I know how much he meant to you and you to him but you can’t let one thing determine how it’s going to be for the rest of your life. I’m going to be talking to Four as well about what happened. In the meantime, I want you to think everything over. I’m also going to need you to come with us on the boat when everything goes down. You’re going to be in the field this time instead of behind the computer. Not sure if you hear this but i’ll tell you once again before it happens. I hate to be that asshole, but you need to put your emotions aside and continue on even if you’re allowed to be sad.  Love you kid. If you tell anyone I said that I’ll tell the team that when you were 18, you threw up when your first boyfriend told you he loved you after a month of dating.” he said putting his hand on her shoulder and patting it softly before leaving. She heard everything he said and he was right as much as she didn’t want to admit it. She couldn’t let one thing be in the way of saving what could be the world just because she was mad at a boy. When she heard the door close and click, she got up from where she was laying and took a look around the room. Y/N noticed she saw Billy’s bag and remembered that since they were together they would share the room and a bed, but now she wasn’t sure if she wanted to even be in the same room as him. She got out of the bed and went into the bathroom to clean herself up but at soon as she saw herself in the mirror, all she saw was her red, blotchy eyes, with mascara dripping her face, and dried tears. She hasn’t seen this look since she got dumped in her first real relationship a few years before that wasn’t the guy she threw up on. Letting out a deep shaky sigh, she began to clean herself up before going outside for a much needed walk. 

The weather was nice when Y/N went outside. It wasn’t too hot but it wasn’t too cold. Everyone had gone to sleep but she wasn’t sure as to where Billy was but the thought of seeing him at the moment made her heart hurt. She wasn’t even sure if she also wanted to see Amelia at the moment too because it involved her too, but she couldn’t do that to her. What Y/N didn’t know was that Billy was watching her from the window in Blaine’s room as she sat on the porch and looked up at the sky before One knocked on the door and Blaine opened it.

“Hey, we need to talk. Like right now. I’ll be in the living room.” he said before walking out as Blaine looked between the two men distracted from his book and billy letting out a sigh.

“Yeah, you’re screwed. Sorry.”

“I know. Thanks for letting me stay here tonight. I feel like she doesn’t want to see me.” he said as he walked over to the door before leaving

“No problem man. Good luck. And don’t worry, it’ll all pass and you guys will both be back together soon.” he said patting his back before heading to the bathroom

“I hope so.” billy whispered, looking down at his hands and letting out a sigh before getting up and walking out of the room to go see One

One was pacing back and forth trying to think of ways to make sure that Billy and Y/N were able to get along while they finished the mission without them clashing or getting mad. Billy took a deep breath before walking in and going over to the couch and sitting down, ready to get yelled at for what happened. One noticed and stopped pacing, trying to find the right words to say to him without getting mad at him and not yell without waking anyone up from his own stupidness. Billy was just staring at his hands getting ready to be yelled and scolded at like how his mother used to when he was a teenager for getting ditching school and not focusing in school.

“Okay. I’m not going to yell because I know almost everyone is asleep and it’ll draw attention surrounding us, so i’m going to say this in the most calming tone ever. You are an idiot. The biggest idiot i have ever met. This is why I didn't want anyone on this team dating or hooking up. Things like that happen and others start to develop feelings. I know it’s natural but you literally just hurt her heart after she trusted you with it. She has been through a lot since the beginning of this mission and I'm pretty sure you already know by now that Six was her brother. I don’t know how much more heartache she can handle, but i do know that I don’t know what she’s going to do after this mission. I don’t know if she’s going to stick around and stay on the team when a new case comes up or if she’s going to create a new identity and leave because I know she can do that, but all I know is, she is like a little sister to me and I take family seriously. I know that may come as a shock to you and all since I refuse to talk about it and even admit it and all but I do take it seriously. I don’t care if you guys get back together or whatever, but I need to make sure that the team finishes this and that no one here is on bad terms because it’s going to my ass on the line then. Now, we don’t have long before all of this shit goes down. Get some sleep, it’s going to be a busy day tomorrow.” One explained to Billy as he then left the room

Letting out a deep sigh and putting his head in his hands, Billy sat there for a few moments before wiping away his tears and getting up to head back to Blaine's room. On the way back, he stopped in front of what originally was his and Y/N’s room and stood there before carefully walking in making sure to not wake her up just in case she had gone back into bed. He walked over to her and watched as her chest slowly rose and fell indicating that she had fallen fast asleep. When he took a look at her face, it stung him in the chest to see the dried tears and blotchy eyes knowing it was all his fault she was like that and that she had to cry herself to sleep. He took a seat on the floor and brought his legs to his chest as he held them together with his arms. He began to think about all the things they used to do when they first joined the group and how he always felt comfort in that he got to let the truth about him shine as they talked to each other. Billy never liked talking about his feelings, especially to his girlfriends, but with Y/N it was different for him. He always felt a sense of relief whenever he talked to her, even when it was hard for him to put how he was feeling into words. She just always knew how he felt. He remembers when they first met. It was when One was recruiting him and she was hiding in the corner watching the two of them as he yelled and One was talking to him asking if he was afraid. If Billy was being honest, he was terrified because he didn’t know what was fully happening other than he got kidnapped. He wasn’t sure if wanted to become a ghost at first, but then he saw the benefits of becoming a ghost and went through it. 

He went over to the bed and grabbed his bag, rummaging through to look for his cigarettes. He knew he should kick the habit soon, especially after making a promise to Y/N that he would, knowing that she didn’t want anything serious happening to him from them. Something else he knew was that in less than 12 hours they were going to have to finish the biggest mission of their lives. He couldn’t help but think about what they were going to do afterwards. Before their fight, he wanted to go climb a mountain and she wanted to go explore his hometown and get to know him better  but they knew that wasn’t a possibility so New Zealand was her second option. He stood outside for a few more minutes after finishing his cigarette before stopping it out and going back into the room. He didn’t want to leave Y/N. He didn’t know how long he stood there thinking before realizing he should get up and leave the room before someone came in and had to force him out and go back to Blaine’s. He took one more look at her and brushed the hair out of her face before placing a kiss on her forehead and left the room.

When he entered the room, there was a couch that was set up for him and he walked over to it and set his stuff down. Blaine could tell by the look on his face that he didn’t want to be there and would rather be with Y/N, but they knew it wouldn’t be a possibility any time soon.

“Dude, you’ve got to go to sleep. Rest your brain. I can tell you’ve been thinking a lot recently and it’s not the good kind of thinking too.” Blaine told him

“I’m not thinking.”

“Then what are you doing? Moping? Pretending like you weren’t just in a fight or whatever that was and that the love of your life hates your guts right now?” Billy didn’t say anything and just ignored him and got ready for bed. He was right though. She did hate his guts but she also still loved him.

“I’m just-I’m just worried about tomorrow. What if I-” “Tell me the truth right now.” 

“Fine! I am thinking about her! I’m thinking about how I pretty much ruined the one time I found love and that someone loves me back for who I am as a person. I’ve been cheated, backstabbed, and now I can't even talk to her without her wanting to kill me.” billy yelled out all in one breath before falling onto the couch running his hands through his hair 

“There it is. There’s that feeling you’ve been holding in.” Blaine told him before continuing

“Listen man. Relationships are going to come and go except for this one because we’re “dead” but I’ve seen the way you both look at each other. That’s real love right there. I don’t think I’ve looked at anyone like that before.” “Okay what’s your point here? You’re not exactly helping me out here.” billy told him getting slightly annoyed

“My point is, the two of you can’t be separated. No matter what. I know I haven’t been in this team since the beginning but I can tell that you and Y/N always had to be somewhat together or just talking to each other over the comms.” Blaine told him as billy looked down into his hands

“Is it true that you both had different comms so you can talk to each other separately?”

“Yeah”

“And what would she always tell you?”

Billy sat there quietly. He didn’t say anything to Blaine because he knew that he was right about everything he’s said so far. Him and Y/N were always together in some way. They were each other’s anchors and kept the other grounded at times.

“She would calm me down. Tell me things to keep me distracted.” “Did she do it when you were underwater?”

“Yeah” he answered, voice barely a whisper

Blaine didn’t have to tell him anything for him to understand where he was going with. Billy knew that he had to get her back but the same went with Y/N as well. They both knew they had to apologize to each other and not just billy to her. Y/N also needed to apologize to Amelia for the way she had reacted towards her. It wasn’t like her at all to act like that but something took over her mind and words just started to come out of her mouth that she wasn’t thinking.

“She loves you and you love her. Maybe after this mission or hell even during it everything will come back together. I don’t like seeing anyone this upset. Let alone two people I've become friends with. Now rest up, we got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

Billy nodded and fixed himself on the couch and got under the makeshift covers of his “bed” and couldn’t help but think about what Blaine was telling him. He did love her and he made sure to show it whenever he got the chance to do so and he betrayed her trust so she had every right to be upset at him. His eyes began to slowly close and drown out all the thoughts that were running through his head about what was going to happen the next day and where his relationship with Y/N stood.

[dcnatural]

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Word Count: 1264

Pairing: Reader x Jason Todd

Ratings: Explicit

Synopsis: Despite being Robin, you find yourself being drawn to Red Hood.

You loved him in secret. You didn’t know why, but since the first time you laid your eyes on his, you knew you would forever be trapped with him. But there’s a problem in loving a villain: it never has a happy ending. Specially when you are a hero. 

You were lucky that the helmet covered his face during most of your encounters, or you might not have been able to resist the urge to kiss his lips. Sometimes, when you lost, he would remove his mask just to flash a smuggish smile at you before running away. It made you want to lose more oftenly, just so you could see the blue of his eyes for a few seconds. But you were Robin. You had a duty. And now matter what you felt for Red Hood, you would never abandon your job. 

* * *

His chest was pressed against the wall, one of your hands pinning his arms behind his  back as you searched in the many pockets of his cargo pants. You tried not to think about the defined muscles of his thigh, tensing under your fingers as you threw pistol after pistol to the floor. It seemed that he carried an infinity stash of weapons.

“This is going to take forever”, you hissed under your breath. The longer you were close to him, the harder it was to focus on something other than his smell. 

“And here was I thinking we were having fun together.” His voice was mechanic, altered by the modulator built into his helmet.

You rolled your eyes, but a gave a small chuckle. Truth be told, you had other ideas of fun activities to do with Jason. The thoughts of it invaded your brain, and you mused the possibility for a moment.

Distracted by your own daydream, you loosened your grip. Just a tiny bit, but it was enough for him to wiggle his wrists free. In two quick movements, he turned and then pushed you. Caught off guard, you stumbled backwards, and he used the seconds that took you to regain your balance to pick a discarded gun from the ground.

Fuck, you thought. The last thing you wanted was another round. Your fights always followed a pattern. A dance-like routine. Left, right. Duck, jump. Punch, kick. But somehow, there was enough change to make it seem like it the first time you faced each other.

Bullets embedded the brick wall above your head as you proceeded to throw another smoke bomb at him, using the fog as a cover to rush to a vantage point. But you never reached it. Instead, you felt a strong hand wrapping itself around your forearm, stopping you in your tracks. It wasn’t forceful and you didn’t fight it, allowing him to pull you close.

“Do we really need to do this?”, he asked, so close to you that you could hear the beating of his heart.

“You shot three men!” Despite your outraged tone, you didn’t attempt to step away, nor did he drop his hold.

“They deserved it.”

You shook your head, but didn’t say anything. Especially since you agreed with him, the three newly made victims of his were trying to poison the city’s water system. What was an old trick of the Joker seemed to have picked popularity, as it was the third night in a month that you found yourself in the reservatory, stopping wanna-be criminals. Except this time, Red Hood stopped them first.

There was a clicking sound, and you saw Jason removing his helmet, which he proceeded to throw carelessly to the ground.

“Robin, is this truly what you want? To fight?”, his voice was filled with an untypical softness. It felt strange and intimate to hear him talk without the modulator.

You blushed, and were thankful that the darkness probably prevented him from seeing your embarrassment. Were your feelings so obvious?

“We can’t do anything other than that”, you spoke, but even as the words left your lips, you were unconvinced.

He chuckled. “We can do whatever we want. The world can’t divide us.”

You inched closer, pressing your chest to his. A playful smile formed on your lips and you tilted your head back, to look him in the eyes. “What would you have us do instead?”

His free hand found itself on the back of your neck, holding you as his head leaned down, lips getting closer to your own. 

A thin layer of dust covered your face, droplets of sweat washing away the dirt and creating paths of skin. You hair was disheveled from the fight, and you were sure you had eyebags from the long sleepless nights. You were a complete mess, but for some reason, you were the mess he wanted.

Gravity seemed to pull you and him together, lips finally meeting after what felt like an eternity. You hugged him tightly, not wanting to let him go, and kissed until you were out of breath. You allowed yourself to believe that nothing in the world could stop the two of you and ignored the bad feeling that was growing in the back of your head.

Loving was just like fighting. A delicate dance of matching movements. It was the first time, but it could very well have been the hundreth. You found a matching rhythm, hips rising to meet each other. Skin on skin, mouth on mouth. Excitement rushed through your veins, activating every nerve in your body. You felt alive.

A loud explosion interrupted the moment. In a blink, the city went dark. Jason pushed away, picking his helmet from where he had dropped it and fixing his suit. You checked your uniform to guarantee everything was in place.

Inside Gotham’s Water Reservatory control center, walls caved in as the room burned down. Tonight’s perpetrators weren’t there to poison the water afterall, they were looking for a much more blasting effect. At least they had been creative. The smoke filled your lungs while you searched for a mask in your belt. You used your cape to protect yourself from the fire as you followed Red Hood to the exit.

A crack in the corridor made you jump, and you grabbed Jason’s hand in instinct. He flashed a light at the wall, revealing a large fissure.

“Shit,” he muttered as he picked up his pace, rushing towards the exit. You were close, behind the door, there was a stairway that led to the outside of the building. As you mentally remembered the blueprint, you understood why he had got so worried. The cracked wall was the only thing separating you from the tons of water outside.

He tugged the door handle, but the door refused to move. The pressure from the outside increased, and the fissure got larger. You tried to push the door with your shoulder. Nothing happened.

“Something is blocking it from the outside,” you stated. “Can you swim?” 

He nodded and you squeezed his hand tighter. CRACK. The corridor wall exploded, the water rushing in. You dodged debris as you attempted to swim against the flush of water. With Jason at your side, you danced around blocks of stone and concrete, aiming at the surface until your face broke through the water.

You took a deep breath of fresh air and smiled at Jason, happy that the two of you had made it out alive. As you swan to the shore, you knew that this night would be a secret. A secret that you would cherish with all your heart, and keep it to yourself.

[tardistimes]

Knavish Knight

Summary:  As soon as you woke up, quickly realising with a daunting chill what was happening, you had tried your best to explain to your kidnappers what an enormous mistake they had made.

Series: The Master’s Maniacal Misadventures Part 4 | Part 3 | Part 2 | Part 1

Word Count: 4177

AO3 link here.

No matter how much you tried, it seemed no one in the room was capable of rational thought.

“Look, I really don’t think you understand how big a mistake you’ve made here.” You implored, leaning forward as much as you could when your hands and feet were tightly bound to the chair. “I know you think you’re blackmailing some rich business guy, but you couldn’t be further from the truth! It was just an act. He wanted to get close to the mayor so he could steal something from his vault. Originally he was just got to kill everyone and go straight for it, he only changed the plan because I thought the hors d’oeuvres looked good and fancied a few dances together.”

They didn’t believe a single word coming out of your mouth.

“Seriously, it’s not too late! He might not even notice I’m gone yet. He can be easily distracted; he’s probably monologing to someone about his scheme right now. Just let me go before he realises, and I won’t even mention this. I’ll tell him I got lost on the way to the toilet or something. He’ll believe that. He thinks my species is so stupid.” You endeavoured. “Let me go, and you’ll all make it out of this alive.”

The man before you, who must be the one in charge given how often the others looked to him, scoffed. “You’ll say anything to save yourself. Well, your lies won’t work on us.”

“Yeah,” another man piped up, eager to join in, “besides, we already sent him the ransom demand. He’ll be giving us our money in two hours.”

Everyone surrounding you crowed excitedly at the prospect. You grimaced. You really had thought you might be able to save their lives.

“Okay,” you sighed, giving it one last try, “you at least took me far away from the party, right? I mean, you have time to get away before he arrives?”

You’d been unconscious for most of the kidnapping, barely realising someone was behind you before a syringe was stabbed into your neck and they whisked away you. As soon as you woke up, quickly realising with a daunting chill what was happening, you had tried your best to explain to your kidnappers what an enormous mistake they had made.

It was a pity. You really had been enjoying that party. It was so rare you got to socialise with other people. Usually, the Master started inflicting chaos as soon as you landed and everyone was too busy running away or screaming for you to strike up a conversation with them. Evidentially you’d both been defying nature by trying to have fun at the party – something like this had to happen to restore balance to the universe.

“We’re on a freight ship in orbit.”

You nodded. That wasn’t ideal, it meant there was nowhere these men could run to with breathable air, but it would have an engine.

“Right. So you’ll have escape pods? Yes? Good, stick me in one, blast it off, then start up the engine and get as far away from here as possible.”

The man in charge laughed, and, like sheep, the others hastily joined in. Your eyes rolled so hard it was a miracle they didn’t fall out their sockets.

“Yes, keep laughing. Go for it. You might as well spend the last few minutes of your lives having a good giggle. Keep it up.” You huffed, slumping back in your chair. No one could say you hadn’t tried, but what could you do if they wouldn’t take their own jeopardy seriously?

Their leaders laugh grew even more booming but one of his sheep frowned.

“Minutes?”

“Yes, minutes.” You emphasised. “Because when the Master gets here and finds me tied to this chair after you drugged me and took me here,” you glanced around at your dreary surroundings, the glitzy cocktail dress the Master had picked out for you looking ridiculously out of place amongst the squalor, “against my will, he will lose. His. Shit.”

You immediately felt the need to clarify as they slowly fell silent. “I mean, he already lost that years ago. But he’ll think this is a great excuse.” You groaned as you thought of what he might have planned. “I just hope he doesn’t make me watch you all die.”

“The Master,” one of them chuckled, glancing around at the others hoping they’d join in on the joke, “looks like we’ve found ourselves a real kinky bastard this time around!”

“The rich ones always are.” Their leader sneered.  

You didn’t like the way he was looking at you now. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if the Master was close to catching you up.

“What about you, darling?” He asked, moving closer. “What are you into?”

He trailed a finger down your cheek and you repressed the urge to bite it off. You were clearly outnumbered.

“You don’t know who he is.” You said lowly.

“He’s a businessman.”

“He’s a homicidal lunatic.” You corrected.

“What have you got against the man?” He grinned. “Thought you two were close? Saw you two dancing when I got to the party, you know? He looked ready to drag you right off that dance floor to somewhere a little more private. Hmm? No? You didn’t seem to think he was a homicidal lunatic then. In fact, it looked to me you were rather enjoying his company. Unless, like us, you’re only interested in the money and not the small talk?”

You snarled at the insinuation.

He laughed again. It was becoming rather vexing.

“Nah. I know you’re lying. Got your panties in a bunch ‘cause you think we’re gonna hurt you. Well, we’re not. Providing,” he stressed, “your homicidal lunatic keeps up his end of the deal. He gives us the money, we don’t cut off that pretty little head of yours and send him it.”

“He doesn’t deal with money.” You sighed. Like everything you’d said so far, that was true. As far as you knew, he’d never used money once since you met. “He takes what he wants and kills anyone who gets in his way. And right now? That’s you.”

“Will someone shut this bitch up?” The leader groaned.

A syringe was produced and, helpless to avoid it, you were drugged into unconsciousness again.

The drug, whatever it was, left you in a deep sleep. Nothing permeated through to you until someone roused you with a glass water thrown in your face. You had no idea how long you’d been unconscious for. The other men had left in the meantime, only one returning to wake you.

“Come on.” He said, untying you from the chair. “Your boyfriend’s here.”

While he freed your legs, your hands were still bound behind you back, and you struggled for balance when the man roughly pushed you forward.

You weren’t sure what you would find when they brought you to the ship’s bridge. The problem of the Master’s unpredictability combined with your active imagination. You’d pictured him dark with fury, teasing and difficult, calmly threatening. In hindsight, you should have known he’d decide to play a game.

“Oh, love. There you are.” He sighed in relief, his wide eyes locking onto you, shimmering with concern. His bow tie hung loosely around his neck, the tuxedo rumpled, his hair suitably messed, all to create the image of someone who had spent the last few hours without you fretting and restless instead of plotting murder.

Despite knowing better, it was hard not to buy into his act. Immediately, you longed to cross over to his side and assure him you were all right but, when your feet tried to take you there, you were swiftly grabbed and kept in place.

For a split second, you saw his eyes darken dangerously as he watched you handled in such a manner by those men, yet only you saw it. The others had already fallen for his latest performance, cackling over his perceived naivety. They weren’t really paying attention though, the bag overflowing with cash had captured their attention as soon as he had dumped it on the floor. The men hadn’t even thought to question his ship, which stood conspicuously in the corner as an antique wardrobe.

They never stood a chance.

“Did they hurt you?” He asked from across the room. His eyes darted everywhere to take in your condition, observing the slight rips in the hem of your dress, the damp strands of hair falling free around your face and the slightly glassy quality to your eye from being drugged.

“No. No, I’m fine.”

“Enough chit-chat.” The leader bit, getting impatient. “Give us the money.”

“And you’ll give me her back?” The Master asked with a wavering voice.

“Deals a deal.”

As soon as the Master kicked the bag to their side, you were shoved towards him. He caught you, quickly freeing your hands and pulling you into a tight side embrace. He was doing wonderfully in playing the part of a concerned lover. It was hard not to fall for it as he pressed his face into your hair. While the men crowed over their money, congratulating the Master for his smart decision to pay up, he dropped his head so he could whisper into your ear, still playing the part of your affectionate lover.

“I’m going to kill all of them.”

You shuddered even though you’d known as much. He would never forgive someone for blackmailing him.

He continued, “I will paint the stars with their blood. Make a mess so gruesome,” he breathed, his lips just barely connecting with your skin as he traced the shell of your ear, “that everyone in the known universe will know by tomorrow that you are off-limits.”

“Never again.” The Master promised. “You will never have to go through this again.”

Your heart thudded to a stop. Pulling back, you stared up at him with wide eyes, not sure if you’d just heard him right.

He stared back at you, the fire now openly blazing. “TARDIS is open, love. Close the door after you. I’ll find you when I’m done.”

Stumbling slightly as you left, you did as he said, not sparing the men a last look. It would only haunt you.

As soon as you were shut inside, you fell onto the couch in the console room, your head spinning.

You should go back to your room, you reasoned. Get changed, drink some water to flush the drugs from your system, try to get some rest. Instead, you stayed on the couch. You had to know, to see what he had done. The thought terrified you, but you had to know.

You were waiting quite a while.

The only thing you could hear was the soft humming of the TARDIS. Although today it seemed a little louder than usual. Perhaps it was trying to shield you from whatever was going on outside.

You’d been with the Master when he’d killed people before, but it never took this long. Not for half a dozen men. Usually, he’d just zap whoever got in his way or annoyed him with his TCE and that would be the end of it. Quick and clean, a little figure left behind. Sometimes pocketed if he found it amusing enough. You wondered – worried, really – what on earth he was doing to them that could take so long.

Whatever it was, you knew he was doing it for you.

The TARDIS quietly admitted him once he was done. His footsteps were heavy as he walked towards the console and inputted a new destination. He realised quickly that you were there – despite him hoping you had disappeared further into the ship where he could avoid you until he was properly cleaned up – but he didn’t talk to you until the TARDIS was in flight.

“Are you all right?” He asked gruffly.

Your response came a little too quickly as you took in the sight of him. He’d left a trail on the floor, one you barely studied for a second before pointedly looking away. “Yes.”

The Master shot you a disbelieving look, his arched brow almost disappearing under the hair which had fallen over his face.

Under his heavy stare, you soon faltered. “A bit drowsy. They gave me a sedative.”

“They said it was a sedative?”

“Well, no…”

“Get to the medbay.” He sighed, turning away from you to look at the console screens. “I’ll meet you there.”

“Master, I don’t need to, I’m fine…”

“Go.” He commanded.

Rising from the couch on trembling legs, you hastened down the corridors. It took you a while to find the medbay, the TARDIS rearranging itself to buy the Master time. 

He’d changed by the time he arrived to check on you, all remaining traces of blood wiped away. The mania had faded from his eyes and he was calm as he urged you onto a bed, treating you delicately as he took a blood sample and encouraged you to stay laying down while he ran his tests. The whole time he worked he barely looked you in the eye, only touching you with caution.

When he was satisfied there was nothing wrong with you, he told you to go to your bedroom and sleep. “I’ve taken us to a different galaxy for the night. Go rest up.”

You stayed where you were, even when he opened the medbay door for you. He gestured through it, trying to convince you to move.

His calm detachment faltered as he finally looked you in the eye. You weren’t sure what he saw there, you’d felt strangely removed from your body ever since you’d made it back aboard the TARDIS. It was clear the Master didn’t like what he saw though, as his gaze shifted, once again looking anywhere except at you.

His hands climbed up to tug at his hair, pulling at it harshly to ground himself. With a wrench of pain, he was able to force out his next words. “I’ll take you home.” He said, his voice leaden with defeat.

You blinked in surprise. “What?”

The Master repeated his statement.

“But I’m not meant to go home for at least another week.” You protested, mind reeling. Not half an hour ago he had killed half a dozen men for you, yet now he was trying to send you home?

You immediately took his reaction to heart, deciding everything was somehow your fault. You were the one who was captured, he must consider you weak. An inconvenience. No longer worth the trouble. You’d become a risk, something people thought they could use against him. Why would he want to keep you around? Forever having to go to the trouble of rescuing you. Easier to send a clear message that he had no weaknesses then dump you back on Earth, no longer burdened, no longer obliged to act as your protector.

Tears spiked at the corner of your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You’d caused him enough trouble.

“I see.” You mumbled.

The Master’s hands fell from his hair, harshly scrubbing against his jaw. “I’ll give you some time to gather your things.”

“Oh, okay.”

A permanent removal then.

He turned to leave, to head to the console, but your heart wrenched and you had to stop him.

“Master!”

Reluctantly, he turned back.

“I – I’m sorry.” You apologised, your voice cracking. You couldn’t believe how badly you’d messed everything up. The time you’d spent travelling with the Master was the best of your life. All the things you’d seen, everything you’d done together. The thought of returning home, to a place you couldn’t even consider your real home while you were still cocooned within the comforting embrace of the TARDIS, was horrible. Everything would seem so grey, so dull, so pointless without the Master there.

Everything he’d given you would be gone forever as soon as you stepped outside, and it was all your fault.

“Sorry.” He repeated dumbly. “What are you sorry for?”

“Getting taken.” You said thickly, head falling with shame. “I should have been more careful. I’m sorry.”

“That is my fault, not yours.” The Master said, suddenly thunderous. His voice took you aback, and you stared at him. “I was the one who placed you in danger. Which,” he clarified, stalking towards you, “I have taken care of. I promise you, no one in the known universe would dare…”

His ear-splitting yell made you flinch, and he immediately dropped his voice, “no one would dare come after you again. I made sure of that.”

The gaze he fixed you with made you shudder delightfully as you quickly realised your real error.

“I’m just sorry you had to… go through that.” The Master said carefully. “I should never have allowed you to be put in such a position.”

“You think I want to go home?” You asked incredulously.

He blinked at you. “Of course.”

“No!” You insisted, scrambling off the bed to meet him in the middle of the medbay. “Never. I never want to go home again. I want to stay here.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, you realised you may have overstepped your place somewhat and retracted some of your sentiments. “Well, I mean. As long as you want me here. I can still go back to visit so I don’t get under your feet. But. Well. I want to stay. Here. With you.” You clarified. “If that’s okay?”

He didn’t respond. Instead, he continued to stare at you searchingly, still waiting for the repulsion he expected to erupt across your face when it finally dawned on you what he had done.

Feeling he needed some help, you lightly took up his hand in yours and pulled it close to your body. He’d missed the blood underneath his nails, which he only noticed when you raised his hand, lifting it higher until you could press a kiss to his fingertips.

“I never thanked you.” You mumbled into his skin.

“For what?” He breathed.

“Protecting me.” You answered. “I should have thanked you when you came back.”

The Master’s face contorted with revulsion. “I didn’t want you to see me like that. You shouldn’t have been there. You should have come here or gone to your room. You – you should never have to see me that way.”

“I’ve seen you kill people before.” You pointed out.

He was quick to argue with you. “Not like that.”

“You did it for me.” You said, not needing to ask for his motives.

“I should have spent more time on them.” He said, closing his eyes as he thought longingly of even worse things he could have subjected those men to. They deserved every one of them for the crimes they committed against you. “I didn’t want to leave you for too long though. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

You smiled at him. “Thank you, Master.”

He became even more confused as you closed the remaining space between you both, pressing yourself into his chest. His hand was still clutched against your face and you nuzzled against it, not caring about the residual blood. With your free arm, you loosely encircled his waist and hugged him as best you could while he was so unresponsive. 

When he didn’t respond, you pulled away nervously.

“Sorry?” You said, unsure of his response. His face seemed so uncharacteristically blank. Usually, you could tell how he felt just by looking at him. He was an expressive person. Now, his eyes seemed hollow as they stared at you.

“Master?” You prompted.

He sighed, roughly rubbing at his head. “Didn’t it repulse you?”

“That you murdered those men? I’ve already told you, I’ve seen you kill…”

“Not like that.” He repeated. “Doesn’t it offend your moral principles that I caused such torment? I didn’t use the TCE, pet. It went on a bit.”

“I know.” Even though you hadn’t been able to hear what was going on outside the TARDIS, you knew how long the Master was gone for. And you saw the state he was in when he got back. You had some idea of what he had done.

“Doesn’t it repulse you?” He asked incredulously.

You thought about it – your imagination, unfortunately, pulling out all the stops in recreating the ways he could have killed them. You had tried to save those men, but they hadn’t listened.

“They weren’t good people.” You said. “They were going to hurt me if you hadn’t paid the ransom.”

“I would never have allowed that to happen.” The Master insisted, stepping slightly closer, emotion briefly flickering behind his eyes.

“I know.” You assured. “I knew you would come for me. I think that’s what kept me so calm throughout it all. I was never worried about dying. I knew you’d save me.”

“I could have been too late,” he tried to argue, “you shouldn’t have so much faith in me. You still need to be careful or one day…”

“I trust you, Master.” You told him, watching him fall silent again. “I wouldn’t want to stay if I didn’t. And I wouldn’t want to stay if I thought you’d gone too far today. I – I understand why you did it. I know you want to keep me safe.”

“Travelling with me is dangerous, love.”

“I know. You’ve told me every day since I’ve come aboard.” You chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere. “Luckily for both of us, I like a little danger.”

“I’m more than a little dangerous.” The Master said darkly.

You laughed again, nervously this time. “Luckily for both of us,” you said, trying to seem confident, “I like you too.”

Pressing yourself into his arms again, too anxious to see his reaction to your words, you exhaled in relief when he finally reciprocated your embrace. The Master rested his head against yours and, so quietly you barely heard it, he confessed, “I like you too, pet.”

Speaking louder, he told you, “All right. You need to get some sleep, love. Long day for the human.”

As you were still cocooned in his embrace, you felt confident enough to ask, “Can I sleep in your room tonight?”

He didn’t answer right away and you worried you’d crossed a line again. He had let you do so before in the past after that mysterious stranger had invaded the TARDIS, but perhaps those had been exceptional circumstances.

“Sorry,” you apologised again, “I just…”

“Don’t apologise.” The Master said. “You shouldn’t be afraid to ask for what you need.”

Tilting your head back, you looked up at him. You knew full well what you wanted, but what you needed at that moment: “I just, I don’t want to be alone.”

“Don’t worry, pet. I’ll keep you safe.” He promised.

Scooping you up, despite your protestations you could walk, he started carrying you back to his room when he suddenly realised you were still dressed in the cocktail dress you’d been taken in.

“Let’s get you some clean clothes first,” he encouraged, detouring to your bedroom. You tried to get them yourself but he batted away your hands and picked up your pyjamas for you, tossing them on your stomach as he carried you back to his room.

He dropped you into the bathroom first, where you were unable to resist a quick shower before changing. Much like all the rooms he had designed for himself, including his bedroom and library, it was a stunning space. While you’d never complained about the rooms you’d been assigned on the TARDIS, after seeing his you decided you’d have to ask about an upgrade. His bathtub was the size of a pool.

He was waiting for you outside, sat in his desk chair. He hopped up as soon as you walked in, taking you by the shoulders to guide you towards the bed. Everything inside was as beautiful as you remembered. The dark panelled walls, leading your eyes up towards the vaulted ceiling. His large bed, its pale gold sheets, which felt soft on your skin as the Master settled you down. It smelled of him and you felt all the remaining tension in your body disappear as he pulled the blankets over you.

“I’ll go get you some water. It will help flush the drugs out of your system.” He offered.

“No,” you protested, catching his arm as he tried to move away, “it’s fine. Can you just lay here with me, please?”

The Master seemed to have overcome some of the boundaries he’d tried to impose the first time you shared a bed, immediately pressing into your side instead of trying to maintain space between your bodies. Brushing the hair away from your face, the Master gently petted you until you fell asleep, promising over and over again until he was confident you would believe him that he would never let anything happen to you.

“I promise, pet. You will never have to go through this again.”

Seriously, why did I make all these titles alliterative! This ended up longer than planned, but I'm quite pleased with it. I hope you all enjoyed reading!

N.B. I've now made a Discord group for Master fans (and other Dhawan characters like Orlo, Davos etc). If you're interested in joining, message me for the link!

[ythankucaptainmccoy]

Commander Wolffe x Reader (War Wounds)

I have had this imagine sitting in the back of my head for a while and I wanted to write some angst and fluff. This imagine is from… you guessed it the magnificent @gabrielewolffe​: Imagine losing an eye in a fight against Ventress like Wolffe, and him being the only one to understand how you feel. I do not own Star Wars or any characters. Warning: Battle Scene, Blood, Loss of Body Part, Angst and Fluff.

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The battle was just begging, and the sun’s rays were beating down from overhead. It was a hot climate here and you had already started to sweat. Wolffe and the wolfpack were trailing behind you as you threw droid poppers into a crowd of droids. They fell quickly as you pulled your blaster up and started to fire at the remaining ones. The next wave of droids were coming your way, and this time there were more than you could count.

Master Plo Koon looked at you and you nodded back to him. You looked back at the Wolfpack letting out a howl. The other troopers howled back as a battle cry, and charged with you and Plo into the fray. The Wolfpack were cutting into the forces and advancing. The building up ahead was where Ventress was hiding, and the Wolfpack had been tasked with arresting her. Master Plo had created an opening and you ran for the building.

“(Y/N) wait we need to go with you!”, Wolffe screamed over the battle. “We have to get this witch now before she has the chance to escape!”, you yelled back. You ran straight ahead into the building. “Hurry men she can’t take Ventress alone!”, Wolffe commanded. Boost looked to Sinker and they both knew you should have waited. As they made their way up the stairs they could hear the firefight between you both. You had been a bounty hunter and had taken down a lot of bad people, but this was different. 

Ventress was using the force to throw you around, and threw you against the wall. It was hard enough that you couldn’t see straight. Ventress made her way towards you with both sabers raised. She brought them down, but was blocked by another lightsaber. “Not today assassin”, Plo told her. They began dueling as Wolffe made his way over to you. “Are you alright?”, he questioned. “I’m fine, but we need to take her down”, you replied. Wolffe helped you up, and you picked up your blaster. 

Wolffe didn’t even have time to respond as you lunged and tackled Ventress off the balcony to the small terrace below. Wolffe looked down to see you motionless and feared the worst. Plo Koon ordered the men to get down there as fast as they could as he leapt down using the force to help him land. You had gotten up and noticed one of Ventress’s lightsabers at your feet. You picked it up, and watched as droids started making their way onto the terrace. 

“Plo look out!”, you warned and he started to deal with the droids. Ventress ran towards you trying to make her escape, but you blocked her path. “You are no Jedi”, she hissed. “And you are no Sith, witch”, you sneered. She raised her lightsaber and brought it down as you deflected the blow. She made a cut for your legs and you deflected again. She started to swipe at you with increasing fever because the Wolfpack had just made it to the party. 

“Maybe I should kill a few of your precious clones starting with the Commander”, she taunted. Rage filled you at the thought and started to swing at her with all your might. She was dodging and deflecting everything you threw at her. You were pushed back with the force, and kneeled down to center yourself. When you looked up you didn’t react fast enough to jump back and caught her lightsaber as it grazed your face. The pain was searing hot and you screamed out. Wolffe turned in time to see you stumbling backward clutching your face.

“NOOOOO!”, Wolffe howled. Ventress grabbed her lightsaber off the ground and ran as blaster fire from the Wolfpack flew towards her. Sinker got to you first as you collapsed from the pain and cradled you. “WE NEED EVAC!”, Boost yelled. Comet called in an evac while Wolffe looked at you and cursed at the seared flesh. You had a diagonal seared line across your eye, and it looked bad. Wolffe knew what it meant and he cursed himself for not getting to you quicker.

They quickly dressed the wound, and got you into the evac. Plo could sense the remorse in Wolffe for letting this happen to you. Once they reached the hangar bay a medic came to help take her to the med bay. Wolffe went to follow, but Plo had put a hand on his shoulder. “I know you are afraid for her position with this team as you were afraid when it had happened to you, but rest assured I will make sure she stays as long as she is willing to”, Master Plo told him. 

“Thank you General”, Wolffe thanked him. With that Wolffe turned on his heel, and made a beeline for the med bay. When he got there he had been told she had lost her left eye, and that there was really nothing they could do other than a cybernetic replacement. They had already cleaned the wound as best they could, and were just waiting on a surgeon. Wolffe didn’t leave your side the entire time as well as the Wolfpack.

They all had their heads lowered, and looked severely defeated. When they took you back for the surgery Wolffe constantly paced the floor. Wildfire and Comet went to go grab caff for the rest of the team. While they were gone it was deathly silent, and Boost couldn’t take it anymore. “Why did she do that?! She isn’t a Jedi and she isn’t expendable. Why would she even take that risk”, his voice cracked. “She knew that if she didn’t distract Ventress that there would be more casualties”, Sinker responded.

When Wildfire and Comet came back with caff they all settled on the floor waiting for you to get out of surgery. It was taking longer than expected, and the Wolfpack members had fallen asleep practically on top of each other. Wolffe still paced trying to figure out why he hadn’t been quicker. He knew it was going to be hard for you because he remembered how he felt when it happened to him. The fear of being sent back to Kamino for decommissioning had scared him to where he wouldn’t eat or sleep.

Master Plo had helped a lot, and it took some time to get used to not being able to see anything on one side. The surgeon came out to let Wolffe know that the surgery was a success, but she would need a lot of help for the next several months. He woke the Wolfpack and gave them the news, and the surgeon had deemed her ready for visitors. They walked into your room and stood in the doorway.

“You can come in”, the nurse called. Wolffe entered first followed by the others. You had a bandage over one eye, and your other eye was closed. “She is in and out of it because of the drugs she is on. Try not to upset her”, the nurse said as she walked out. “Cyare can you hear me?”, Wolffe asked standing on your right side. Your eyelid fluttered open , “I lost an eye not my hearing Di'kut”.  Boost laughed as the rest of the Wolfpack snickered quietly. Wolffe stayed silent as the other Wolfpack members talked to you.

Once they knew you were okay they all headed for the refreshers. Wolffe was the only one that stayed. He pulled up a chair to sit with you. “Wolffe I love you, but please brighten up I’m not dead”, you announced. “(Y/N) you could have out there today. I thought you had when you fell onto that terrace. You aren’t expendable”, he gritted his teeth. “Neither are you or the Wolfpack, and it is done and over”, you told him, bringing your hand up to cup the side of his jaw. The only problem was that you missed and touched nothing but air. 

Wolffe grabbed your hand to place it on his cheek. “I have you, and I am going to help you through this”, he promised. “Okay but I’m not quitting the… Wolfpack”, you yawned out. “Get some rest I’ll stay here tonight”, Wolffe affirmed. He watched as your breathing evened out, and started to think back on how difficult it was to learn how to deal without being able to see on one side. 

It had been a month, and you had had several nightmares. Wolffe was there each time just like you had been for him. He would soothe you and coax you back to sleep by holding you as close as possible. Everytime you would get self conscious around others he would remind you of his eye, and that you were as badass as he was now, and not to worry. It helped but on occasion you would still bump into things and your blaster aim would be off. 

While on leave at 79s one night you were sitting with the Wolfpack, 501st and 212th. Cody was talking about how his General was the worst at getting injured or putting himself into unnecessary danger. Rex would pipe in about how Skywalker must have learned it from Obi Wan because he was always getting into dangerous situations. You had gotten up to go get another drink at the bar when it happened. 

A drunk made a comment about how you should keep your eye covered, and that people didn’t want to see the scar either. You tried to act like it didn’t bother you, and made your way back towards the guys. The drunk followed you and once in earshot of  the others yelled for you to go somewhere else or cover your eye and scar. You stiffened as some other patrons attention was now on you, and the shame settled in your chest. 

You could hear the whispers as you felt a hand on your shoulder. It was Rex. He had been closest and got to you first. “Hey how about you show some respect. She is out there on the front lines while you sit at home and sit on your lazy fat shebs”, Wolffe growled. “Awww well it looks like we found the match. Shouldn’t have been so shit at fighting”, the drunk slurred. Wolffe was about to throw a punch when Cody held him back. The rest of the Wolfpack looked ready to tear the man apart. “Come on let’s just go”, you piped up.

Wolffe turned to you as a tear threatened to spill. They all got up and went back to base where Wolffe took you to his room. “Don’t let what that man said upset you”, he told you. You stayed silent even as you both got into bed. “Why do you stay with me?”, you asked. “(Y/N) why would you even have to ask. I love you”, he responded as you lay your head on his chest. “I’m broken, and no longer beautiful”, you choked. Wolffe wiped the tear that slid from your eye. “I love you and you are not broken. You are still beautiful to me. If anyone’s broken it’s me. The Wolfpack is here for you to, and if I see the men stealing peeks at you in the refreshers I’m going to kill them”, he smiled. 

You smiled in return as Wolffe placed a kiss over your eye and kissed along the scar. You melted into him ready for a night of sleep. “I love you Wolffe”, she said. “I love you to (Y/N) now get some sleep”, he soothed. She kissed him and settled back down. He watched her fall asleep as he drew circles on her hip with his thumb. He was the luckiest man in the galaxy, and it wouldn’t have mattered if she had lost both of her eyes he would stay with her. 

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The End. Hope you all enjoyed it. I think it could have been a lot better, but it's super late, and I need sleep that always eludes me. My ask box is open so if you have an ask don’t hesitate.