#medication and maintenance
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requested by laying-in-star-dust
#Yeah I like M&Ms#medication and maintenance#gif#animatedtext#wordart#transparent#laying-in-star-dust
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been thinking about the rabies condition in writing lately, which is a GREAT post about stakes and characterization. basically exploring how if there's a 100% chance a character is doomed, then they can and will do extremely dangerous/damaging/contraindicated things for the slimmest hope of survival. which is one of my Favorite narrative devices
but while we're using health metaphors, i've been thinking about another somewhat complicated means of introducing character stakes, which i'm tentatively calling 'the autoimmune condition' for reasons that are. obvious
the premise itself is simple: the character has Something that they need to survive. they either can't live without this thing or they will lose something vital about themselves if they lose this thing. there is no replacement or alternative for the thing. what's most important are that the consequences for losing it are Extreme, rabies-condition-style
in the real life allegory, this is the immune system. which is great for being alive!
then the problem is introduced when this thing starts killing the character.
the character still needs it to live.
so: there is a 100% chance that you will die if you destroy the thing killing you. if you impair it through other means, there is a 100% chance of consequences, though the severity of those consequences is up to the author. (these are medication side effects in the real life allegory.)
if you do everything you're supposed to then you'll PROBABLY survive, but you're gonna have to play lifelong tug-of-war to balance everything, and you are often going to have to choose between two shitty options. bc there is no alternative.
this is a counterpart to the rabies condition in terms of stakes; with this condition, your character has to make complicated and difficult decisions about what they're sacrificing for their future. it's not the immediate life-and-death stakes of rabies, it's a slow decay instead.
what side effect consequences are they willing to take on?? and what are they NOT willing to take on?? where do their priorities lie in terms of symptom management?? what other solutions are they looking for?? what are they willing to sacrifice??
and perhaps most importantly: what exactly do they need to lose before they'll Accept the side effects / sacrifices that used to terrify them?? how high do the stakes need to be??
at what point is this character going to look back at the choices they've made up to this point, and realize that they no longer recognize themselves??
#have had this on the brain bc every medication i take or have taken related to my illness has a LAUNDRY LIST of terrible side effects#like most of them are only prescribed for very short periods of time#and the only reason they're ever prescribed for long term maintenance is if like. you will actually literally die otherwise.#you would not BELIEVE the side effects i'll weather to get my brain back. give it to a character#torment them. theres so much room for complication and messiness here. it's great#autoimmune tag#writing#writing advice#i guess?????#hopefully this is coherent. i tried to keep it concise#long post
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i deserve to kill insurance companies actually.
#i've been fucking around with this for two weeks now and i want to die#why is it legal for an insurance provider i am paying to decline a medication that i've been on for years#why does a doctor have to fill out a special form to prove that i Really Need this medication. that's just what a prescription is for.#and also why is my doctor's office closed half the week and i can't get ahold of them and they don't call me back#i'm already rationing my meds like this is not sustainable#the real bullshit is that from what i can tell my provider won't even let me pay for it out of pocket. which i don't want to do but. still.#(it's a maintenance inhaler. i still have plenty of my rescue inhaler left so i'm not like. gonna die without it. but i will be very#uncomfortable and pissed off about it.)#part of this is my own fault because i knew switching insurance would cause some Bullshit when i try to get my meds refilled#so i should have started this earlier#but TWO WEEKS SHOULD BE ENOUGH#i just want to find out what i can do bc every day i call and they go “huh that's weird that it hasn't been approved yet. i'll look into it#and then they don't call me back#well uh. with med rationing i have enough to get me to Tuesday so i fucking hope someone actually figures out what's going on today#vent#personal
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the election happening when I am in my pre-period and have crippling pmdd is. well it's certainly something
#every fucking month is a “you have to live” and then you add ALL THIS on top of it#like ill do it but god fucking almighty#this also all comes with my partner starting up a job with a 60 hr work week last week after over a month of unemployment#and the maintenance ppl having come MULTIPLE days since then to fix leaks in our ceiling (finally done)#and now a pest control person coming today as well#AND im having a medical scare#can we fucking stop!!!!! good goddamn!!!!!!#mine#rambles
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The main characters of my story, Connection Lost! I'm not going to post too many details atm as I'm still putting everything together, but I'm excited to share it with you all!
#connection lost#oc: maintenance#oc: pilot#oc: medic#oc: messenger#oc: d-301#jupiter draws#robots#original story#original characters
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also recently ive gotten the urge to redesign kari since I've been thinking about him and his background a lot lately
#something something he used to start fights and shit until it hurt his sister and then he started following her to make up for it#it wasn't necessary and she never held it against him. but he wanted to get back to her anyways#and then he was diagnosed with fractum anima. he begged her to let him search for the lunar ichor under the mountain#and after so much insistence she obliged#kari feels like he's giving back to people constantly... especially keir#despite the bickering hes so grateful. constantly trying to make himself useful to both him and mouse hole#oleander speaks more to that unwavering loyalty he had towards her. mind you i dont think his loyalty towards him is unwavering (or not yet#cirrus also speaks to the repentant boy who needs to make up for his sins just in a less... warm way#francesco..... he's a bit worried for him. then again it's his life and he can live it however he wants...#but he doesn't want somebody else to get caught under their hubris#just realized i never mentioned what hr helped his sister with lmao. h#she's a doctor!! hed usually do maintenance around the clinic since its what he does best (huge strong boy)#but he also helped w the patients sometimes! so he has some basic medical knowledge#im still obscuraless btw. thats the only thing keeping me from this redesign
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mfw i see a cringe ooc post i made over a decade ago.
#;;ooc#its about one specific thing and that thing is my ex#HER AIM I HOPE IS NOT IN FACT GETTING BETTER#HISSSSSS#uwu I have such a sweet partner now tho like holy heck#I should gush about them sometime but I try to keep my offline/off stream life more private but fuck it#[lol buttfuckit]#I AM VERY GAY FOR MY PARTNER AND THIS RELATIONSHIP IS THE HEALTHIEST I'VE HAD IN /DECADES/ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#it feels good to say it cuz it's true like holy heck#we just-- communicate and schedule dates and we're long distance and both low maintenance and it's so relaxed and natural#i hope to move in with them next year but i'm allergic to heat [medical reasons] and they're allergic to cold [health reasons] and it's AAA#;;tbd
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Announcing Specialist Bingo Card!
This month's new Bingo is a little different to the others, in that there are no prompts to choose from. Instead, it will be the 25 different specialties the clone troopers have, and to make a fill you will have to create something for the specific specialty. They can be oc's or canon clones, as long as they suit each category.
Specialties are:
Snow, Sand, Flame, Dive/Aqua, SpecOps, Slicer, Heavy Guns, ARC, ARF, Commando, Medic, Pilot, Maintenance, CommTech, Bridge Crew, Riot Trooper, Paratrooper, Bomb Squad, Flight Crew, Cadet, Mess Crew, Trainer, Officer, Security, Shiny.
#specialist bingo#clone specialties#snow trooper#sand trooper#flame trooper#aqua trooper#specops trooper#slicing trooper#heavy gunner trooper#ARC trooper#ARF trooper#commando trooper#medic trooper#pilot trooper#maintenance trooper#commtech trooper#bridge trooper#riot trooper#paratrooper#bomb squad trooper#flight trooper#cadet trooper#mess crew trooper#trainer trooper#officer trooper#security trooper#shiny trooper
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I TESTED POSITIVE FOR LUPUS ANTIBODIES
#THIS IS AMAZING FUCKING NEWS LIKE IT SUCKS TO HAVE LUPUS BUT I THOUGHT ALL MY SCREENS WERE NEGATIVE#TURNS OUT THEY JUST HADNT PROCESSED ALL OF THE RESULTS YET#I CAN GET REAL EMERGENCY MEDICAL CARE AND GET ON MAINTENANCE MEDICATION NOW#the specific antibody is generally either for lupus or mixed connective tissue disease or systemic sclerosis or a combo#my result was 80x the lowest normal range 10x the highest normal range.#because it's not 100% conclusive i'll have to see what diagnosis the rheumatologist gives me but regardless#this means i've tested positive for systemic disease and that steroid treatment makes the most sense regardless of my specific diagnosis#AAAAAAAAAAAA I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA PASS OUT I'M SO EXCITED AND RELIEVED#i've really felt like i'm gonna die. like really really really....#autoimmune tag
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Kept hearing an irritating, high-pitched sound somewhere in the house since the 2nd day of floor work. It sounded like the wind droning in a cracked door or window, but I couldn't find the source. Finally figured out last night that it was the HVAC intake: the filter had gotten so choked with sawdust and other debris that one of the gaps had created a whistle.
#astonishingly i did remember to buy a spare filter before they got started#my fucked-up respiratory/histamine system is teaching me about building maintenance#'when construction happens the hvac filter will need to be replaced'#(i then forget this lesson until it worsens my migraine)#medical cw
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I don't actually realise often how much anxiety I have because it's been my reality for like 15 years at this point.
But my therapist suggested today that possibly the fact that I'm constantly alert to triggers and to what my brain identifies as dangers is exhausting to me.
And like I never really thought that hard about it because it's my baseline normal but yeah. Much to ponder.
Anyways lmao I need to take PRN (anxiety medication) for the third time today haha
#about me#like. i take a daily dose of anxiety medication and can take up to double the maintenance dose as PRN#and even still I'm anxious as fuck
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MORK LOOKING AT DAY LIKE HE'S GIVING LOVE HE'S GIVING HUNGER HE'S GIVING DEVOTION HE'S GIVING YEARNING HE'S GIVING EVERYTHING
#THEY REALLY WANT TO MURDER ME TODAY#ALSO MEDICAL CLINIC FACILITIES DEPARTMENT?????? DOES HE HAVE ANOTHER JOB AS A MAINTENANCE WORKER??????#WHAT IF HE ACTUALLY DREAMED TO BECOME A DOCTOR ONCE BUT MAINTANANCE IN A MEDICAL CLINIC IS THE CLOSEST HE THOUGHT HE COULD GET#BUT THEN DAY PUSHES HIM TO ACTUALLY TRYING PURSUING THE CAREER#IM GENUINELY NOT GONNA SURVIVE TODAY IM GOING INSANE#last twilight the series#morkday#jimmy jitaraphol#sea tawinan#m: txt
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ohhhh this is about to be a real pain
#eye guy speaks#uc posting#i was told when i started this medication to call the dr when i had two weeks left#so they could start a new prior authorization for the maintenance dose#did that a week ago. called the pharmacy and they have not gotten word on it#i have a week left of these things and next week is a holiday so i'm getting pretty worried!
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Me: augh why does my body ache so much??
Also me: has not done the things that make my body functional for several days
*Headdesk*
#papook pontificates#Don't be me kids#Body maintenance is well worth the time and effort it takes#Also PSA#If you are taking medication for chronic heartburn you might have trouble absorbing electrolytes#And then your entire body will ache until you remember that is a thing and drink a lot of gatorade
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Me: where's that passive suicidal ideation coming from this time Me: wait I'm three days late on my shot. that'll do it.
#this is a take your meds and do medical equipment maintenance post#also set reminder alarms for it if you have a terrible memory like I do#learn from my mistakes
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Still trying to come up with a somewhat professional way to say "hey, this should either be an entry level position or you need to pay $75 an hour because you want someone with a masters degree/multi year apprenticeship in a trade and 2+ years of experience, and the fact that youre trying to fill the position with someone who has the latter but will accept the pay of a former means your only applicants will be underqualified, be unable to land a $75/hr job for a fucking reason, or the position will just sit there unfilled for 9 months, or all three, which seems to be the case for you."
#Property managers who want apartment maintenance workers for $17/hr are on crack fr.#This is why your outreach medical clinics secretary is an incompetent bigoted temp with bad infosec who alienates your clients#and 3 months down the line your overburdened salaried director who is a good job offer away from quitting will be covering her duties.#All industries who embrace these practices (which rn is all of them) are a house of cards.#☠️
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