#med log

[fidgetninja]

Med Log: Atomoxetine 6 months in

Medication: Atomoxetine, 40mg

Long-time-no-talk! Last time I posted I was back on atomoxetine. I've found it beneficial in some ways but it's become difficult in others (the same ways that led me to come off it two years ago).

Atomoxetine by itself seems to dampen and blunt my emotions over time. It didn't matter to me when first on them because I was so desperate to get my life back in order. I'm grateful I went on it this year, I'm doing a lot better, but I'm experiencing the following:

nausea - it's nearly constant no matter what I eat (heartburn specifically I've managed to mitigate with yoghurt / big meals before taking my dose)

emotional blunting - my partner and some close friends have commented I've lost my exuberance; I'm less enthusiastic about things, I'm less interested in people, and the weirdest thing I've noticed... I don't feel anything any more when listening to music; it just feels like noise and is mildly irritating

non-existent sex drive - I have zero interest any more, including I can't 'feel' my attraction to people any more. Some would welcome this or not mind this, but this really bothers me

This is so frustrating to me; atomoxetine does help me with being more organised, calmer, less stressed... but it feels like at the cost of blunting the good about me as well as the bad. It almost feels like turning the volume down on all of me, not just the parts of my ADHD that cause me issues.

Two years ago I hated this so came off it entirely, and then was discharged due to not being on medication (hence the fight to get back on meds). This time though, I'm trying stimulants again, which I will cover in my next post.

[cryptidpop]

Aura w/no migraine

Deja vu

Sensory overload (specifically smell)

Nausea

Before menstruation

5/7/24 12.22AM

[ennuijpg]

NO FUCKING WAY PARK LOVE IS BACK????? LYONS WE’VE FINALLY MADE IT

[malcolm-reeds-pineapple]

Being the only diagnosed and medicated member of your intensely ADHD/autism family is so fucking funny cuz it’s like

Me: hey guys what’s up?

My mom, who has been cooking lunch for three hours because she keeps forgetting that she is cooking supper because she is still hyper focused on the craft she was making before she started cooking and keeps going between the craft room and the stove, she is blasting a Facebook livestream about crafts: HELLO!!!!!! I was just researching [xyz] and i learned… wait, your glasses are filthy let me just… [takes my glasses off my face and cleans them] anyway I need your help I’m stuck on my craft [drags me to the craft room, my eyes lingering on the fucking pot that’s boiling over. I will end up cooking lunch undoubtedly]

My 80 year old nanny who was given 4 years to live 8 years ago and is baffling the medical world by continuing to live, scrolling the obits in between Wordle guesses, adding names to her “outlived list”, she has an entirely rooster themed house and if she doesn’t have lunch at exactly 12:13pm her day will be thrown off entirely, but she didn’t have all this autism stuff back in her day: Maureen died, [mom’s name] do you remember Maureen Smith? She was the church secretary in 1973? She died, the funeral is on Wednesday.

My brother, who has been making feats of engineering in Minecraft for the last 6 hours, coming in from his daily wake and bake he does to self-medicate for “whatever’s wrong with him”, the same man who built his first PC entirely from YouTube tutorials at age 13: [Infordumps at me about Warhammer lore or Minecraft while I pick up where mom left off making lunch while the chaos unfolds]

My dead Grampy who was a civil engineer who collected hobbies and hoarded building supplies and Weird Shit like it was a full time job who also could not cook without dirtying every single dish in the house, haunting the house he built as a fucking side quest in 1993: [dirties a pot from the beyond somehow]

My dad, 4 hours away who started a business because he was so fucking bored after he retired who used to call me out of school if my grades were good so we could hang out and collect rocks at the beach: [texting] hey this is the red hot chilli peppers song I was talking about a month ago, also, here is a link to a video about space that I thought was really really cool that I want you to watch so you can also think it’s cool! Also just finished season 6 of Stargate, was hoping to call to discuss after work.

My step mom, 4 hours away: [knitting a the sweater The Dude in the Big Lobowski wears without a pattern at lightning speed because my dad mentioned, in passing, that he has a cool sweater this morning. It will be done by 3pm. She is also monitoring a dashboard she coded to link up her numerous excel spreadsheets that run an entire city on her iPad while she knits. She is avoiding making a phone call. She has invited me to join a social media platform exclusively for knitters to share projects and patterns. I do not knit but she is god to me so I join. She is an influencer on the platform]

Me: yeah don’t know what I expected

[peri]

something evil is happening within me

[malikson]

well now that we’ve gotten louis’ answers out of the way (which, great as always, as i expected. could listen to him talk about music for days), this journalist had TWO months to write this article. and article that 1. is filled with mistakes that can be corrected by one fucking google search 2. shoehorned the monday larry denial in the most awkward way possible because that’s the hottest topic of the moment and you gotta get them clicks 3. had terrible transitions 4. was so hyped up for it to just be what? five questions plus summaries with MISTAKES ABOUT LOUIS’ CAREER 5. BORING ASS QUESTIONS. next time at least bother to do some proper research instead of wasting time on trying to find a way to insert larry and harry into it

[lifesshort-imshorter]

My Sunday PSA for ADHD:

I am *constantly* seeing people talk about accidentally doubling up on their meds because they can't remember already taking them - or skipping them altogether just in case they did take them.

Seriously, guys, please think about getting the timer caps for your pill bottles. This has been a lifesaver for me when I grab my bottle to take my meds, remember I need to do something, set it down, and then when I see the pill bottle again I can't remember if I even opened the damn thing. This has happened enough that I can't count the times, and even if I could I wouldn't tell you because really, brain? C'mon.

This thing tells you exactly how long it's been since you opened the bottle and helps to keep you on track. These come in multiple sizes to fit virtually any pill bottle you already have, but they also come with their own bottles (and labels!) on the off chance they don't - and you can find them online easy enough.

Best part is these things can work for multiple people for different reasons. Got a forgetful parent or grandparent and want to make sure they're safe with their meds? Great gift. Have a teen in the home but you smoke weed and want to keep an eye on it? Perfect nug jar. Just curious about how long your adhd meds last before productivity goes down? Perfect timer.

Have teen children and worried they're going to access your Vicodin from that dentist appointment? Have a high fever and can't remember how long it's been since you took your last Tylenol? On day three of a depression streak and can't remember doing anything but staring at the wall? Can't remember how long it's been since your last birth control pill? Great purchase.

Just keep them in an area you are frequently and stop worrying (I keep my adhd meds right next to my computer, and my morning meds next to the sink in the bathroom). Get rid of the am/pm pill containers that no one remembers to fill anyways. Trust me, it is worth it.

In case I've inspired anyone, these are the ones I have, but there are other brands and styles out there from different sites if you don't support Amazon.

Even if it's not for you, please share so that other people see.

[eywaseclipse]

Alrighty, based off the stress induced rash I have on my cheeks and eyes, I’m going to take that as a sign to log off for a bit. I think it’s one of those situations where it’s going to get worse before it gets better because of outside factors. Tata for now. 🌱

[epiarchive]

monday

home alone, moving furniture around, working out, learning or ill go INSANE

[fidgetninja]

Med Log: Atomoxetine and Equasym

Medication: Atomoxetine 40mg, Equasym (aka Metadata CD, methylphenidate) 10mg

'Combination therapy', aka taking a non-stimulant and a stimulant together to treat ADHD, has been around for a while in the US. However it's relatively unheard of in the UK. I was therefore suprised when my current ADHD nurse suggested it, and I was curious to give it a go.

So far, it's given me hope. I'm still unhappy with atomoxetine's side effects (covered in my last post), but I'm feeling beneficial effects from equasym; it's easier to start and complete tasks without getting distracted, my thoughts are clearer, I forget things less, and I'm only experiencing an occasional short-lived buzzy headache and short sleepy spells.

My hope is to reduce atomoxetine and raise equasym, and I'm hoping to either take both long-term or phase out atomoxetine completely. I think stimulants may work better for me nowadays vs 2017 due to my shift in how I see myself and my neurodivergence, but I'll save that for another post!

[kellterntempest]

SCRUNCHED.PNG

[jennhoney]

Today is the two year anniversary of a bunch of nurses carrying all of my belongings down the stairs and across the park-like locale that was the cute little Raleigh apartment so I could load it all in Eeebs’ car. Steal said car and drive back to Iowa to try to keep my foot and survive.

I guess, with that perspective, I can now say I am a little bit better.

Or I might just be high on 3 ancient chocolate mini eggs and skipping one of my meds.

[faaun]

the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart

[malcolm-reeds-pineapple]

My long distance bestie face timed me last night with her new man (who notably was tripping on shrooms) and we did what we normally do which is talk about The Characters. At one point I kind of forgot her man was there and showed off my White Man Wrapped 2023 spreadsheet and started going over it. Anyway this dude who was high as god on shrooms is listening to this and definitely asked me a few times if I was autistic which no I just like data however what ended up throwing him off the most was finding out that over the year I’d written a grand total of about 460k words of fanfic this year. To me I was like I mean yeah sometimes u just gotta u know? But then he went and googled how many words are in the fucking bible and dragged me through the fucking coals. Anyway did you guys know there’s only like 770k words in the bible?

[spocksgotemotions]

I would NEVER call someone a clown as an insult clowns are my friends and perform an infinitely valuable service to the world. I’d much rather insult someone with a different job that I don’t respect. Like CEO. Or Cop.

[jurisffiction]

I Can See You was a soundtrack feature on the cinematic release of beat sheet in 2010 (shifted strike timing and consequent early supernatural cancellation led to a sped-up domino effect where wattpad/fanfic redub films became big business a decade earlier, potentially due to [redacted]'s earlier spare time windows amidst other factors; perhaps tsn won the oscar in this world but with little fanfare). Alternate world i can see so so vividly like its days are seared onto my cells. You see the note passed in class. You can picture the credits. The bloopers. Full song plays over credit blooper scenes as he readjusts his socks (too explicit for film cut) and sandals and a motorbike tries to do a fancy sudden stop and falls over. Uh-uh uh uh I can see you! It happened. You can sense it. Hold my hand. follow me