#meanwhile at thanksgiving

[lovelanguageisolate]

I'm blocking the kettle.

@regexkind: I need to get by you to reach the boiling machine.

me (who heard "boyling" instead of "boiling"): I've seen a security hologram of Anakin...killing boylings.

[colin-crossing]

i learned to bake pies this summer cause i have this super fucking lame fantasy in my mind where my (hypothetical) boyfriend invites me to a thanksgiving and everyone is eating the pie and they are like "damn this pie is so good who brought it" and then my hypo-boyfriend is like "colin made it!" and then everyone there starts glowing like "wow man! this pie is the best!" and im like : ) and then i start crying cuz i rember this isnt happening and that im in my dorm typing this on my laptop in pajama pants

[stabbyfoxandrew]

SOON IT WILL BE THANKSGIVING WHICH WOULD BE GREATLY ENJOYED IN A RESTAURANT EVEN IF IT IS A MAFIA FRONT - @jtl-fics

WIP Wednesday (11/1) | Mafia Front Restaurant AU (Part 42-B)

“Trust me, Stuart is really… odd. He gets jumpy about the randomest things. Neil suddenly becoming a houseplant enthusiast will be less suspicious than a clean patch on the floor.”

“Why don’t we just mop?” Kevin asks. 

“We?” Jean asks, confident that Kevin’s never touched such a cleaning implement.

“Fine, you or Neil.” Kevin says, waving his hand. “Wouldn’t that be the least suspicious thing to do?”

“Perhaps, but this is faster.” Jean says. Sue him if he wants an excuse to spend a bit more alone time with his boyfriend instead of mopping a grungy goddamn floor that Neil mucked up.

It takes almost twenty minutes for Kevin to decide between a Swiss cheese plant and a bird of paradise, but finally they decide on both. One for the ‘restaurant’ and one for the flat. They leave the final call up to Neil, who is baffled when presented with two houseplants.

“I thought you were getting groceries,” he says. “Where the fuck are we going to put that anyhow?”

“In the corner,” Jean says.

“Yeah, the corner,” Kevin repeats, gesturing towards it. Once they get it into its place, Neil makes a face.

"It's going to die immediately." He says.

Jean rolls his eyes. "I've kept you and Kevin alive this long, I can water a goddamned plant."

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[menlove]

just saw a guy on tiktok say "there's europeans afoot" when he sees someone posting pics of green bean casserole and I'm literally never going to be able to unhear that

[plethoraworldatlas]

until Biden, Hilary Clinton won more votes than anyone else in US presidential election history.

She didn't lose because barely a percentage point of votes went 3rd party.

She didn't lose because too many people "got lazy and didn't vote for her"

She lost because she lost the electoral college. She lost because she didn't even try to appeal to entire states worths of people she felt she was owed simply by those people living in "safe Blue states" or because she thought fear of Trump was enough to get people to vote for her.

She lost because despite the democrats deciding to portray her as the safe nominee, she had over the course of Obama's presidency become one of the least trusted and most hated women in the government . She lost because her party torpedoed the campaigns of far more strategic and better candidates because they were too progressive and she had seniority.

She lost because she was never a strategic candidate until they forced her to be the only option and thus the lesser evil.

She lost because no one, not her, not her canvassers, not even her own campaign could come up with an answer other than "but Trump!" To the question far too many voters had "Hilary Clinton is directly responsible for killing many members of my family, and she has said she will mostly continue the policies that killed them, can I really trust her not to kill us more?"

She lost because this country was and is FAR more racist than people want to admit

[xx-key-xx]

Happy Slaygiving Everyone <3

[61below]

Y’all I cannot get over how cute these Target dollar spot Christmas trees are. They’re $3 each and they have this clear AB finish, I didn’t even know they lit up til I picked them up!

[dionysus-complex]

so full of anxious energy this week with no good outlet for it

[leos-regression-cove]

Comment that made me really happy this morning :)

Commenter, I'm kissing you on the mouth.

[keeps-ache]

[skitters all over the place]

[bee-in-a-box]

I need someone to tell me if I'm being an asshole. Reddit AITA moment okay?

[richardgrimes]

If one of them is trump it doesn’t count

I'M NOT RELATED TO HIM I PROMISE WGSUDFHUSJEGFJSD

[writing-relatedactivities]

Not the best picture of it, but I think "cranberry punch where I freeze the juice in my cake pan shaped like a dragon curled around eggs" might need to be a new Thanksgiving tradition.

[m1ssjess]

[dxfiedfxte-a]

Minato sat in his home crossing his arms, for every single day of November, the paranormal investigator had been traveling too and from places in private carpools, he was tired, even a simple five minute walk to the local corner store in his neighborhood would almost turn into a cardio exercise. All it took, was one single obsessive fangirl to spot him, and then it was immediately off to the races for him -- the catch, there was no other challengers, just a mob of very thirsty fangirls probably hoping to kidnap him and force him on a Christmas date. 

Being stuck in his home almost every day was annoying, it reminded him of when he was a teenager, and aside from all the precious memories made there, it was not without it’s fair share of hardships, leaving Minato to have to make some important decisions. With how much he’d changed over the years, Minato had gotten used to being a public figure, and he just enjoyed going out in general. So this November, wasn’t very fun for him -- it was like that every November.

Exhaling a sigh, he flips on his television.

[{ 🦋 }] - “Just five more days of this Minato... five, more, days.”

[autistic-yuri]

Do you think Wonderbread knows?