#me: suffering from my own creations
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me when you keep making horror themed - centric muses

i need you all to at least once tell me NO. ONE TIME. YOU ALL ENABLE ME.
#〈 ooc. ★ 〉#〈 answered ask. ★ 〉#yells#you guys: omg do it salem :3#me: suffering from my own creations
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hrrrrrrrrgh argh augh i'm the historical fictions guy i SHOULD be able to write a historical fictions on PURPOSE when ASKED TO
#news from the cupola#big glowing neon sign hovering over me This Young Lady Is Suffering In A Mindtrap Of His Own Creation#I think also I would have an easier time making up a guy for this particular mindtrap if it wasn't going to be shown to 30 people#who are not all my friends and pals. sigh. fall over on floor.#but also I need to write like 25 pages of other stuff before I even get to that so I shouldn't worry except that I am the worrier#& I also reallyreally don't want to write those 25 pages and I'm so tired you wouldn't believe it
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Been thinking about the Abyssal Tyrants (shocking I know), but I love the implication that the main Tyrants are more of a threat to the Guild while they're basically 10-15 years old before the main story in Extinction. Of course, the Abyssals were still a threat for a variety of reasons and/or paranoia, it's kinda overshooting the fact that they were alive for a very long time; not as long as the Children of Omnicron of course, but still.
But going through the "family timeline" theory again, it's hilarious in hindsight to think that Braccus probably had the time of his life destroying what he can before becoming the hulky bulldozer he is (about 200 years before the main story) but Kroma had to suffer with the idea of wanting to destroy one specific person (ie. Eliza) around the same time and long before their real target was even born, only to get absolutely destroyed by Deena when she finally had the chance to fulfill her mission (also around 20-15 years before the main story so it's common knowledge for the Guild too)...
Long story short the Abyssals had all the time in the world to wonder why they were made/created as they were, just waiting until the time was right for their goals to be fulfilled, until they figure about that they might've been created to be glorified cannon-fodder in the grand scheme of things (even if they would've gone through that existential crisis or not)...Also I refuse to believe that the Abyssals wouldn't have run into each other at some point and figured out that they have nothing better to do but wait to be killed after completing what’s literally their life mission. Maybe they avoid talking with or about each other at Precursor Mountain so it doesn't hurt them anymore than it should (or conflicting goals making them distance themselves despite their origins being the exact same). Also letting Venefelis/Salem figure out that she has "siblings" running around the place would definitely help with their cabin fever, I'm sure of it :)
#nexomon#nexomon spoilers#nexomon extinction#nexomon extinction spoilers#nexomon abyssal spoilers#long tags#Also me deciding on making a short-form fic series on the Abyssals since it's absolutely barebone in the fandom: :')#Procrastination on the N:E retelling aside. timeline-wise the Abyssals had a whole lotta time on their hands before their goals were done#each Abyssal were made in shorter intervals so they had some chance to run into each other right?#while Kroma was the last in the line she had the power to understand that none of their missions would bring their creator to them...#Summoning different ghosts and all...If she had 200+ years to think about it before Deena took her out that would make some sense too#Something something about a higher power that doesn't bother providing the whole truth and lets their creations suffer#with the lack of knowledge on the *real* reason why they exist (even if they're meant to distract from the real threat in N3 (possibly) :)#almost like Omnicron letting his kids run free on the idea of being The Greatest without giving them the chance to form their own interests#and if N3 doesn't come around this year I'm making my own speculation/conspiracy theories myself :')
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I am literally the most disorganized artist and it annoys me sometimes because I'll draw like 5 different things in a single canvas (at least I manage to sort those into separate folders lol) but like, the file is named something specific to just one picture from the bunch of stuff I was doodling in there. So if I end up closing the file good luck finding random other drawing #4 I wanted to finish
#personal#it is a hell of my own creation literally would be solved by just making a new got damn canvas every time I draw something#BUT NO i do this to myself. enjoyer of my own suffering#tho tbf its funny to be drawing like som cute shit in a file called something like suffering.clip#oh also I lied I only sort them into folders once the pieces have like colours and stuff#so until then its just me guessing which sketch layer is the one I want to draw from#why? because again. i like to suffer. I guess
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⚔️~wyll~ hair! ⚔️
I made wyll's hair from baldur's gate 3 in the sims, bc if wyll has 0 fans im dead. provoke the blade and suffer its sting and all that <33
this was made for my friend @oodles-of-sims gameception collab where a bunch of talented builders and CAS creators made various creations from various games!
-
WYLL HAIR:
♥ base game compatible!
♥ teen-elder, feminine & masculine frames
♥ hair: 24 maxis swatches + 9 bonus swatches
♥ hat compatible
♥ 6.3k poly
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Follow me on twitch!
Support me on patreon!
⇢ download: simfileshare | patreon
♥ you can find his outfit here, and the skin detail and stone eye here ♥
use my code "THATONEGREENLEAF" when you buy packs in the EA app to directly support me! ♥ (not a discount code, I wish!) #EApartner
I DO CUSTOM CAS ROOM (and other) COMMISSIONS! fill out my commission form ♥ (currently closed, will open again soon!)
TOU: do not claim my cc/CAS rooms/presets as your own! recolour/convert/otherwise alter for personal use OR upload with credit. (no paywalls, no c*rseforge)
#sims4#thesims4#ts4#s4cc#ts4cc#sims 4 cc#sims 4 custom content#my cc#the sims cc#sims4mm#maxis match#ts4 hair#maxis mix
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🤔 do u have a thought about shrau with amphoreus ?
If I'm not wrong, they just believe in titan as their god right? What about shrau amphoreus with reader as a creator?
Like just Imagine it, when they knew about reader as a creator or aeon reader and how they will react
OKAY OKAY, I MAY NOT BE GOOD AT THIS BUT HEAR ME OUT!
If Amphoreus is a world that reveres Titans as gods, then suddenly discovering the Reader (aka you) as a Creator/Aeon would shake their entire belief system to its core. The Chrysos Heirs, warriors devoted to slaying corrupted Titans and recovering their Coreflames, would have to face the terrifying realization that the entity they’ve been unknowingly serving might be above the very gods they worship.
The Chrysos Heirs—Mydei, Phainon, Castorice—are devoted to prophecy and divine will. If they discovered that the true weaver of fate, the one who oversees their struggles and triumphs, is actually you, their entire worldview would fracture.
Mydei, the Undying Warrior, might react with reverence, but also conflict.
"The Coreflame trials, the prophecy, the Titans... were they mere threads in your tapestry? Have I only been playing my part in a story you have already written?"
He would feel both honored and trapped—knowing that his fate was not his own but also that his suffering had purpose.
Phainon, the Deliverer, might be the first to fully embrace you.
"If you are the one who spins the threads of destiny, then everything we have done… it has been for you, hasn’t it?"
He’d see it as a blessing, a sign that their struggles were leading toward something far greater. He might fully devote himself to you, no longer just as a warrior, but as a disciple.
Castorice, the Daughter of the River Styx, would have an eerie calm about it.
"Death and fate have always danced hand in hand. If you are the one who weaves, then I have been treading upon your strings all my life."
She might not even be surprised—only resigned, knowing that she had always been walking the path you had set.
The people of Amphoreus, especially those who still worship Titans as gods, would be terrified. If they learn that their world is merely a fragment of your design, it could split the faction into two:
Those who believe the Titans are still divine, and you are merely another force in the cosmos.
Those who believe you are the true god—the one above all, the being who even Titans obey.
Some might fall into despair, realizing that their gods are no more than pieces of a larger game board, and that your will can rewrite their fate at any moment. Others might become fanatical, believing that serving you is the only true path.
The Coreflames, remnants of the Titans’ divine power, might now take on an entirely new meaning—if the Titans were once creations under your will, then does that mean their power also stems from you?
If Mydei and Phainon failed the Coreflame Trial, was it because you willed it?
Phainon, who vanished after the trial, might see it as a test from you—a call to prove himself.
Mydei, bound by honor and sacrifice, might struggle with whether his suffering was truly his own choice… or merely an inevitable step in the story you wrote.
The most horrifying realization for them? That every battle, every struggle, every death was something you already knew would happen.
If Mydei has died a thousand times, then you—the Aeon of Fate—must have allowed it each time.
"You… knew? Every strike, every wound, every death I suffered—you saw them all?"
The idea that they were never free, that their victories and failures were written into existence, could be devastating.
Some would see you as salvation rather than as a distant, cosmic force. They’d offer the Coreflames to you as divine tribute, seeing them not as remnants of fallen Titans, but as pieces of a world you once shaped.
The most devout warriors might seek to serve you personally, casting aside their oaths to the Titans and the prophecy.
Mydei, should he fully accept your will, might become your sword of fate, carrying out your judgment across Amphoreus.
Phainon, ever the perfectionist, might strive to prove himself worthy in your eyes, seeking to become your chosen deliverer.
Castorice, attuned to the whispers of death, might become your priestess, ensuring that those who fall in battle meet their end as fate intended.
Once the truth of your existence reaches Amphoreus, the world would never be the same. The Titans' worshippers, the Chrysos Heirs, the Coreflame Trials—everything would shift under the weight of the realization that you have always been watching.
Some will fight for you.
Some will fear you.
Some will desperately seek your favor.
But no matter how they react, one truth remains: they were never beyond your reach.
#x reader#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#hsr x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#amphoreus#castorice honkai star rail#castorice hsr#mydei honkai star rail#mydei hsr#phainon honkai star rail#phainon hsr#mydei x reader#mydei x you#mydei x y/n#phainon x reader#phainon x you#phainon x y/n#castorice x reader#sahsrau#self aware au
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Yesterday (3 Jan-2025) finally after 1 and a half years of contemplating and planning I did it.
I FINALLY got a Good Omens tattoo and I HAVEN'T BEEN HAPPIER.
This is mainly a Tattoo inspired by Crowley, the starmaker.
Crowley who has embraced being a demon and yet the one who remains more angelic than most angels.

More important this tattoo is heavily inspired by one of my favourite Good Omens AU fic "That Hopeful Feeling" by oceantears.
Below is the back view of the tattoo. It has a constellation with 8 stars that is known as Serpens Caput and Crowley in this fic is the proud maker of this snake-like constellation.

Here is the photo of the constellation

And I absolutely wanted Crowley to have all his stars and galaxies with him that was so brutally taken away from him.
I wanted Crowley to be among his own planetary system (a reference to the fic)
Below are side views of the tattoo where I definitely begged the artist to add as many stars and planets he could cause I wanted Crowley to be truly content in all his creation.


Crowley is someone who means a lot to me personally. Crowley in both Canon Good Omens and in the fic gives me strength, reminds me to be resilient all against brutality thrown by life, Crowley's optimism, love, strength helps me to have the same. In short Crowley gives me that hopeful feeling that nothing else might have been able to in times of darkness.
I'm eternally grateful to these two versions of Crowley for being his amazing self even through pain and suffering ❤️
To sum it all up, you honour I love him.
#crowley#good omens tattoo#Crowley Tattoo#the starmaker#good omens fanfic#good omens fic#good omens fandom#crowley good omens#good omens season two#good omens art#good omens 2#go2#good omens season 2#good omens
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After a long time, I finally picked up my brush again, using my menstrual blood as my medium. This time, something feels profoundly different. For years, my blood carried pain, brain fog, and symptoms I thought were simply a part of who I am—my normal. It wasn’t until I started taking thyroid medication that I realized how much I had been silently suffering. My blood has slowly changed. It’s clearer now, free from the mucus that used to be so familiar.
Painting with my blood in the past was a way to sit with my pain, to face it. I’d wake up early, unable to sleep from the discomfort, and let the art flow through me as a form of release. What would come out of me was raw, painful, but healing in its own way. Today, this piece feels like a reflection of that transformation—of where I was and where I am now. There’s a clarity to it that mirrors what’s happening inside of me, a shift in how I relate to my own body and the cycles it endures.
For the first time in a long time, my creation isn’t just about enduring the pain, but about embracing the change, recognizing that this journey is ongoing and ever-evolving.
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If you want to could you please do a fic with Jason's Girlfriend (rather Arkham Night or when he is still early Red Hood) gets hit with Scarecrow's fear toxin and Jason is trying to help her through it or give her an antidote. But she is terrified of him and think he is attacking or trying to kill her. Maybe it's because while she does love him and he loves her she started working with him because she is helping Batman get Jason to hopefully see his family again and Jason does know so she is scared of his reaction. Sorry if that's confusing or a lot.
Thank you for reading whether you do the request or not
-🍓
Guilty Hearts
Hi 🍓! I know this took a while to get out but I hope you see it. I think we might be psychically linked because this came into my ask box while I was editing my other fear toxin fic. Enjoy! ~1k words
The Arkham Knight is going to destroy whoever caused you to get like this. He stands, ridged and protective, between you and the milita medics who are shifting uneasily behind him. You're curled into the corner of the room, knees to your chest and arms wrapped around yourself. He never breaks his gaze as you rock yourself, silent tears spilling down your cheeks.
Seventy-two minutes. That's how long you've been like this. Trapped in the nightmares of your mind's own creation, hallucinations caused by a dosage of Scarecrow's fear toxin.
He doesn't know how you got like this, what happened, he didn't bother to ask when he was finally informed. The Arkham Knight just stormed his way to you.
The medics managed to tell him that you've screamed your voice raw but still fought anyone who got close enough to try and stick you with the antidote. 'That's his partner,' he thinks. Always the fighter.
He scowls behind his helmet when he notices the self-inflicted scratch marks over your arms, a common reaction to the toxin. "Everybody out." He snaps, snatching a needle filled with the antidote from one the medics. They file out quickly, sensing his mood. They should be running. Everyone knows what you are to him. He's made it more than clear and the fact that you're suffering? The fact it took over an hour for him to be told? He'll make sure someone pays for that later.
But that is later, and this is now. You're what's most important. He tugs off his helmet once the last medic leaves the room and takes a step towards you.
You let out a raw, strangled cry with what's left of your voice. He doesn't know what you're seeing, what you think he is, but it makes his heart clench to see you so scared. He knows he can be frightening now, so different from what he used to be. But he'd never hurt you, never, not on purpose.
The Arkham Knight crouches down to your level, and says your name softly, carefully, trying not to startle you. "I'm here to help, I promise, baby. I need you to trust me. I'm going to make it better." He soothes, creeping closer to you inch by inch. He makes sure to stay low, to make himself look smaller.
It doesn't seem to help, fresh tears fall faster from your eyes and you whimper. He repeats your name over and over, trying to draw you away from whatever fear is tormenting you. "Just hold on a little longer. It's going to be okay. I'm going to make it okay."
He shifts closer to you, reaches out one hand to try and touch you, and you bolt, scrambling to get as far away from him as possible.
He catches you around the waist, needle clattering to the floor as he wrestles you to the ground. It's harder than it should be, he's trying to be gentle, trying not to harm you, but you're kicking and crying and clawing like you'll die if you don't fight. The Arkham Knight wonders what you see, what twisted image is taking over your mind as you fight him.
You see him. The Arkham Knight– Jason. You know there's something wrong with you, something bad, but between the pounding of your heart and the way the shadows seem to writhe, you can't remember what it is.
You tried to get away from him– it. He's angry at you, you know he is. You can hear it in the robitical breathing, the way fire dances in place of the glowing whites of his eyes.
You're scared. You don't know how he knows. You don't know how he found out or what he thinks, but he's going to hurt you. That's what the choir of hissing voices whispers into your ear.
He knows you've helped Batman– Bruce. You didn't want to betray him. You weren't trying to hinder his revenge plan in any way. Bruce didn't even know it was you who told him. You just– all you did was tell him to have extra fear toxin antidotes ready. You just couldn't stand the thought of someone losing the people they loved, not when you knew exactly how it felt.
The Arkham Knight freezes when you start to beg. He's never heard you so scared, so shaken. You sound like he did. Back in that cell.
You thought a part of him might understand that. Your adrenaline spikes when he reaches for something just out of your field of vision. He's going to hurt you. He's going to make you pay for your disloyalty. You let out a sob and start to beg, broken pleas of his name leave your lips, it's the only sound you can make anymore.
"Please, Jason," You rasp out, "m'sorry. So sorry." He shushes you as you start to paw at his chest plate in a last ditch attempt to get away. Always so strong, you are.
Jason takes your wrists in one hand and sticks the needle into your skin with the other, releasing the antidote into your bloodstream.
"There you go, there you go, doll. Good job." He mumbles into your hair, pulling you up so you can settle in his lap, his arms securely around your body. Your breathing is shaky, uneven, and your hands move to curl into the straps of his armor. You're not trying to get away from him anymore, proof the antidote is taking hold.
He keeps cooing mindless reassurances as you cry quietly into his shoulder, his hand running soothing lines up and down your back. He presses his lips to the top of your head and holds you a little tighter to him.
When you're more yourself, Jason will tell you you have nothing to be sorry for. He knows. Of course, he knows what you told Bruce. He knows everything about you. If spilling a few secrets to his plan eases your guilty conscience and keeps you by his side, so be it.
Scarecrow's just a means to an end anyway. All that matters is that you stay. That you keep following him down his path in hell, and if you turn to look back a few times, well, he'll just hold your hand all the more tighter and keep dragging you along with him.
#arkham knight x reader#jason todd x reader#jason todd#x reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#ak!jason todd x reader
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✱˚。⋆ ↪ 𝐔𝐍𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 . ( a collection of lyric - based prompts based on hozier's album . adjust phrasing as necessary . )
i'm holding my world together with a bootstring .
i would do it again if i could hold you for a minute .
my life was a storm since i was born , how could i fear any hurricane ?
heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i .
i miss when we did not need much .
we didn't get it right , but we did our best .
when people say that something is forever , either way it ends .
i have never known a silence like the one fallen here .
there's money to be made , whatever is still to come .
i don't want to be anything like this at all .
there are some things that nobody teaches you .
we can celebrate the good that we've done .
if there was anyone to get through this life with their heart in tact , they didn't do it right .
all i needed was someone .
you only feel it when it's lost .
the awful things we do to make our heads feel quiet .
you may never know your fortune .
so far from home to have a stranger call you 'darling' .
i'm a butchered tongue still singing here above the ground .
if i was a riptide , i wouldn't take you out .
knowing that everything ends won't change our plan .
i feel lighter than i have in so much time .
i don't know how the feeling ended .
i know we want this to go easy by being somebody's fault .
how could i fall when i am lifted by every word you say to me ?
if i said that this was drowning , you'd tell me i'm walking on water .
who wants to live forever , babe ?
old and young are welcome to the meal .
how can something be so much heavier but so much less than what it seems ?
we had nowhere to go and every desire to go there .
if i fall , i only pray , don't fall away from me .
all our weight is just a burden offered to us by the world .
getting through still has a cost .
so much of our life is just carving through the dark .
after this i'm never gonna be the same .
some part of me must have died the first time you called me 'baby' .
are there limits to emptiness ?
i wish i was the sunlight , just sitting on the mississippi .
if you need to , darling , lean your weight onto me .
you can't buy this fineness .
some part of me must have come alive the first time you called me 'baby' .
the future's so bright it's burning .
i would do anything just to run away .
i heard once , it's the comforts that make us feel numb .
darkness always finds you , either way .
i know being reckless and young isn't how the damage gets done .
i haven't felt it since then .
i do not have wings , love , and i never will .
one time we would want for nothing , we knew what our love was worth .
i think i'll take my whiskey neat .
i'd still be surprised i could find you , in any life .
i don't need to know where we begin and end .
my name always hits my ears as such an awful sound .
i'm taking no orders , i'm gonna be nobody's soldier .
living the dream , benzos and gasoline .
i wish i could go along , don't get me wrong .
do you think i'd give up ?
i'm infinitely suffering , but fighting it off like all creation .
if you're drunk on life , babe , that's great .
what good would it be on the far side of things ?
i aim low , i aim true and to the ground is where i go .
i wouldn't sell the world , i would hold on for all its worth .
choose between being a butcher and a pauper .
i feel as useful as dirt .
it's the sound of it that brings me here .
when was the last time ?
i want to fade away with you .
whatever keeps you around , it keeps you around .
funny how true colors shine in darkness and secrecy .
when i was younger , i used to guess if there were limits to emptiness .
you know i'm good on my own .
one bright morning changes all things .
i'm sick to my skin , watching the news again .
how could you think i'd scare so easily ?
now that it's done , there's not one thing i would change .
would all things god allows remain above ground ?
i'd walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing you .
you treat your mouth like it's heaven's gate .
could this be how every day begins ?
i can scarce believe what i'm believing in .
whatever you choose , you lose in the long run .
your reflection can't offer a word to the bliss of not knowing yourself .
the goal i was aiming for was the wrong one .
you're too sweet for me .
your heart , love , has such darkness .
let the sun only shine on me through a falling sky .
i don't wanna choose between being a salesman and a soldier .
how do you sleep so well ?
i wouldn't sell the world for all the gold and sterling .
the street is for the laughter of young women and men .
you can keep a dream in your mind only to find out it's the hope that's killing you .
each time i'm shocked by the light .
july is still coming , just knowing that gets me through .
maybe i have yet to venture out and see the places i dream about .
no closer could i be to god .
what you live in , it finds a way to live in you .
i want to be so far away from sight and mind .
you know the distance made no difference to me .
i thought you were like an angel to me .
i'd move so fast that i'd outpace the dawn .
all my love and terror balanced there between those two eyes .
i'm still glad i met you .
that moment i knew , i had no choice but to love you .
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Jesus, what's a girl to do?
Part 1, Part 3, Part 4
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Robin meddles, Steve is clueless, and you're freaking out. So a regular day.
A/N: i genuinely have no idea where this came from, i legit posted the first part like 2 years ago. but I guess I want to start actually writing more? idk! we shall see. anyways, this fic stems from my (occasional) exhaustion to shy!reader and i'm basing this more on how horrifically i acted around the guys i would like even tho i consider myself an extrovert. enjoy whatever this is??? and lmk if u want a part 3! also this is not proof read so bear w me
warnings: sfw, swearing, uhhh i think that's it???
You were screwed. Absolutely, terribly, fucking screwed.
You were also very angry at your mother, giving her a glare every time she glanced your way at the dinner table. She merely gave you a wink in return, not understanding the true implications of her actions.
"So, Steve," your mom began as she cut a bit of the chicken on her plate, "you play basketball, right? Is that something you want to keep doing in university?" This time, you openly stared at your mom, trying to telepathically convey that you would literally kill her if she kept talking. You haven't made up your mind if you're joking or not.
Steve cleared his throat, "Yeah, I do, I'd say I'm pretty good at it, too. Wherever I end up going, I'll probably join their team for fun." He turned to you after taking a bite of his meal, smirking. "You like basketball too, right?"
You choked on your water, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. You looked at Steve properly for practically the first time that night, but your voice never wavered. "No, not really, why?"
He turned back to his food, amusement gracing his voice. "Well, I see you and Robin sitting together at every game, even the away ones, so I just assumed." If your face could sport a visible blush, you knew it would be a bright red, hot, mess.
"Well, I- I get dragged by Robin because she doesn't like sitting alone or going to random schools by herself like, half an hour away. Do you even watch the news? Girls by themselves are basically the perfect bait for random kidnappings and stuff, especially girls in high school, like I mean the statistics for-"
"Y/N" You're rambling is halted by your mother's voice. Steve is looking at you in bemusement. You are contemplating death. The situation is not looking good.
"Could you grab me some water from the kitchen, with ice," your mother said with a strained smile, holding out her glass. You grab it and push your chair out. "Sure, yeah," you replied. As you made your way to the kitchen, your mind replays the last hour of the events that have transpired, wondering what you could've possibly done in your past life to deserve this.
How could your own mother, the woman who birthed you, ask the hottest guy in your grade if he wanted to stay for dinner and not consult you first, all whilst knowing you had the most ridiculous crush on the guy.
Betrayed by the ones closest to you. This is probably how Julius Caesar felt.
After overcoming your initial shock, and lets face it, mortification of being paired up with Steve for your English project, you attempted to the best of your abilities to push down your feelings and remain professional in order to actually work on the project and make sure you got an A. Your grades would not suffer over a stupid crush on a stupid boy, that's where you drew the line. Unfortunately, this plan was not working out so well.
It was actually failing, horrifically at that.
It had been about a month since the semester started and the project had been assigned—a complex analysis of a classic book of your choice and how that particular novel has inspired the creation of others and advanced its genre. You had to write a collaborative essay to hand in to your teacher, as well as create an interactive presentation for your classmates explaining your chosen novel.
This was all due at the end of the semester and you'd be given no in class time to work on it since you had an ample amount time to work on it outside of school. It would also replace the need for a final exam, which was great news. When your teacher had explained the project, you were ecstatic, knowing exactly what book you wanted to do: Pride and Prejudice.
Then, you remembered who you had to do the project with, this huge, daunting, complex, project, where you would need to interact with your partner in close proximity for an extended period of time. You felt faint.
Steve, in his defence, had tried to approach you on multiple occasions to try and figure out when you two should meet to try and start the project. But, obviously, whenever you saw so much as a glimpse of him in the hallway, you would make yourself scarce.
The only time he would actually be able to talk to you was in your shared English class. Robin was beginning to go crazy at your increasingly outlandish excuses as to why you couldn't meet up with Steve after school in order to work on your project.
"Oh sorry, my mom needs my help on some stuff tonight."
"I have to take my brother to soccer practice."
"I can't today, I have an eye doctor appointment."
"My dog actually needs to go to the vet, she's sick, sorry."
"My family and I are going on a road trip this weekend, so I'm not free."
"My sister broke her leg uh— skiing, and she needs help writing stuff for school."
"Funny story, Robin has a crazy ex thats trying to get her to meet up with him again, and I have to help her slash their tires and like, do girl stuff, it's personal, so I'm not free, maybe next week though?"
That last excuse is what caused Robin to snap. She knew that Steve knew that you were making shit up, Robin has never even been in a relationship, let alone have an ex. Also, you didn't even have a sister, what gives!
You also had no clue exactly how close the pair had gotten due to working together at the video store and that she'd told Steve she was into girls. Therefore, like the great best friend she was, Robin decided it was time she intervened, for everyones sake really, but mostly yours.
"God," you sighed, "I never thought I would be so into arms, like not the huge, bulging one, you know? All veiny and red, that just scares me, hello, his are just ones that are like slightly defined, but have a very obvious outline of muscle, like I can tell he's strong, and fuck, his biceps, is it bad that I want to like, bite them? Because every time I look and him and he's fixing his hair I just keep getting this urge to—wait where are you going? Robin? Ok, OK! I'll stop, I promise! Come back!"
If Robin had to hear another anecdote about how you wanted to bite his arms, she was going to puke.
Your continuous blabbering about how good Steve's hair looked or how good those jeans looked on him and your inability to have one proper conversation with him or stay in the same room as him for longer than two minutes was making her go insane. She couldn't take it anymore.
So, Robin devised a plan, which one day she was sure you would thank her for—hopefully.
First, she inconspicuously made sure that you had nothing planned for Thursday night, already knowing you were free but wanting to double check that no random stuff had come up.
Then, she called your mom, who absolutely adored Robin. She told her about your situation and how if she did nothing, your infatuation for Steve was literally going to give her an aneurysm. Robin would tell you that she wanted to hang out Thursday night so you would get ready, but instead of her showing up, it would be Steve.
Not surprisingly, your mom agreed to Robin's crazy plan. She thought it was about time you got a boyfriend. You had already talked about Steve so much to her anyways, but any time she would tell you to just try talking to the guy, you vehemently refused.
"Mom, are you insane, I'm not going to do that," you scoffed as if literally just having a conversation with another person was the most insane idea in the world.
"Mija, how else are you supposed to get to know people if you can't speak to them? Besides, you never seem to have a problem talking back to me whenever we have an argument," you mom shrugged as she continued folding the laundry you were helping her with.
"Oh come on," you sighed exasperatedly, "that's not the same thing and you know it."
"I'm just saying, by the looks of it, I don't think I'll be a grandmother."
"Mom, what, hello!?"
Getting Steve to show up at your house was easier than Robin thought. She conveniently told him right before the beginning of their shift on Thursday that you'd told Robin that they should all get together at your house to finally get started on the project. Robin smiled a bit wider than necessary when Steve enthusiastic agreed to go.
When Robin gave Steve your address and told him that she would be over a little later because she left some stuff at her house, that no, she didn't need a ride and that no, she was fine walking, Steve was none the wiser to her actual plan.
As Robin saw Steve pull out of her driveway and making his way to your house, she gave herself a mental pat on the back and started thinking about what movie she should watch after dinner, knowing that the school day tomorrow would be very entertaining.
When Steve rang your doorbell, he was still clueless about the real intentions of Robin's plan, but when you opened the door and he saw your eyes go wide and your mouth drop slightly open, almost as if you weren't expecting to see him, something clicked in his head.
This was going to be fun.
#help what is this#steve harrington#robin buckley#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington fic#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x fem#steve harrington stranger things#steve harrington my beloved#stranger things fanfic#stranger things#stranger things fic#steve harrington fluff#fluff#steve harrington x female reader
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Guide for manifesting weight loss:



So an Anon asked me to make this and here it is, it will help others too.
As we all know that we often struggle with achieving our weight goal,doing workout,keeping a strict diet and eating healthy etc...
All of this was created by man, a man-made creation like Times, Machines, names, studies, science and many more.
And of course this was all coming from the imagination.
But i'm here to tell you that nothing is set in stone, your beliefs/assumption are the true fact.
Don't do things that you don't want to, just for you to loss weight ,because some non loa-believe people told you to.
Do whatever you want! Cause you make the rules and you control your own reality.
And you should be grateful that you discovered loa out of BILLIONS OF PEOPLE that are living miserably, believing that they should work hard to have what they want, following society rules.
Knowing your true power:
You need to understand that you are what we call God ,an Infinite being that could do anything without limitation.
You Can be whoever you want, get anything you want and more, even manifest the most illogical things, and this all because you're a consciousness that Can decide whoever version of themselves is gonna be.
But does God need to follow the rules? Does god need to do method? Does god need to do challenge? NO!! ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOUR MIND TELLS YOU TO, HELL! EVEN YOU CAN CREATE YOUR OWN RULES AND METHOD.
YOU ➜ God (imagination) ➜ create your own rules and method and Can manifest anything you want into your reality.
You Can be a model, having that pretty face, being a billionaire, living in that penthouse, having a yacht, fancy car, being with your handsome/pretty SP, having that perfect body. Having superpowers, having a little fairy, having a Magic portal in your room and swimming in money and MANY MORE.
All of that with what? Without even Lifting a single little finger, everything you ever wanted already EXIST, there's many versions of yourself with your desires, and with just that pretty powerful mind of yours.
Understanding the Law:
The law of assumption indicate that whatever you assume to be true will Harden into fact with persistence.
Manifesting your desires into the physical reality just requires you to change your inner self so that the outer World will follow.
The 3d is a mirror ➜ changing your self (4d) ➜ persisting ➜ the 3d will reflect your 4d ➜ yay! You have your desires in the physical reality.
It is very simple and easy.
All of this just needs discipline and having faith in yourself and your true power as a god.
Now the important part of this post.
How to manifest weight loss while ignoring the 3d:
We do know that manifesting weight loss might seem difficult for the most of us.
While you're manifesting and there's the people that surround you Always ALWAYS complaining and pointing about your appearance, your weight and that might get you very pissed off and angry.
I am myself suffering from this, my parents Always pointing at my appearance,saying that i look fat (and that not true they are just exaggerating things, my Friends told me that i have a beautiful body but i hide it with over-sized clothes cause i'm insecure), and they force me to go workout when i don't want to (cause obviously i hate sport and socializing) and which caused a HUGE ARGUMENTS with them, and i Lost it (cause i have anger issues) but they didn't listen they told me it for my own good🙄 my ass, so i had no choice but to listen to them but i'm DONE FOLLOWING SOCIETY RULES AND BELIEFS.
So yeah i'm not listening to anybody but my personal beliefs cause i'm the only one who knows the truth, the cheat code to life.
you Can eat whatever you want and with the belief that you won't gain a single weight and it's will become a fact.
Your beliefs and assumption matters and don't listen to anybody.
Okay so now you might wonder how to manifest weight loss while interacting with the 3d every single day and it very simple:
➜ firstly choose what desired weight or body you want to manifest.
➜ secondly knows that you do already have it in imagination and creation is finished, you're already that version of yourself that is skinny or muscular.
➜ thirdly you need to keep persisting no matter what the 3d tells you cause that will make the subconscious really believes you're that desired version of yourself.
➜ and lastly dismiss the 3d, if the people surrounding you keep pointing at your appearance just ignore them and affirm in your head that you already have your desired weight or body and knows that the 3d will change.
You really need to throw Logic in the trash , Logic won't get you anywhere but imagination will.
"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." Albert Einstein.
"Logic will take you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere" Albert Einstein.
"You believe in God? Believe also in your imagination" Neville Goddard.
You want to have that perfect body? Yes you Can, you want to have that Chinese standard Body? Yes you Can! You want to be muscular and lean? Yeah you definitely Can.
Just pick and choose, fulfilling yourself in your imagination and accepting it as fact and the 3d will follow.
Seriously it is really simple, just don't overcomplicate it.
Just have faith and trust in yourself and you'll definitely do it.
I don't want anybody sending me Ask in my Inbox After this post.
Go apply and you'll definitely thank me for it. (Read this one)
I advice you to read these post they're really Amazing and it will surely make it click for you:
This, and this, this and this, this one, and this one, this, this, this, this,this one, and this, this last one.
And lastly you're the only one that Can change your reality, no one Can do it for you, you're already a master manifestor and void master and you're on the pedestal.
You were meant to change your life and live in happiness and wealth.
_ Xoxo, Eli
© Scentedpeachlandcreator
#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loa#loa blog#law of manifestation#how to manifest#loassumption#void state
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I think there is no better illustration of the more intimate, internal angle veilguard chooses to approach its characters and themes with than the fact that like... listen in this game we get to follow so much pain back to its source, and we find it really does permeate everything in thedas today on a level that evokes a kind of cosmic horror. the bones of the earth itself are broken open and drenched in trauma; the world is mired in suffering down to the core and the marrow. as above, so below. as outside, so inside. on the big scale, and the small. all of creation is a throat gone to bloody shreds from screaming in agony, when you allow yourself to listen. (maybe that's why we usually don't, or can't, bring ourselves to listen.)
...and yet the thing that makes me personally so desperately gnaw-my-own-arm-off sad that it feels like I could die from it is that in a run where you save minrathous, lucanis never gets out from the ossuary in his mind. what's worse, no one even knows he's in there. he's still in there. and there is no rescue on the way, because he's locked down so deep inside himself this time that there's no way for anyone to even understand there's a need for it. would he be able to welcome one, if someone did realize it and tried to reach him? You know him -- you can open the door, but he won't walk through. He won't move. There's nowhere to go. the way he says 'it doesn't matter what I want' with such utter, leaden, final resignation in the wrecked treviso cutscene is going to haunt me forever. it makes perfect sense to me you can't romance him after that, I'm not sure he's ever really here completely in that version of events, at least within the timeline the game takes place. he's just standing in the shitty awful ossuary torture room all alone, and no one's coming to find him.
and what is that, next to the millennia of suffering screaming through all of history and creation? well. nothing, of course, not really. a single plucked string in an endless deafening symphony of despair. one singular trapped and broken soul among the untold millions that have gone before and the untold more that will surely come after, that are being made as we speak in the conflicts and tragedies unfolding through the game. but more importantly it's also everything. to me. and to the game too. the game says this also matters. just as much as anything else, this pain matters and deserves to be loved and comforted. even in the face of all the suffering in the world, beneath the systems perpetuating all the banalities of evil, for good or for ill sometimes, we matter to each other. and what would be the point of anything, if we didn't? that's where hope lives. as long as you're alive, the right key might still arrive to gently open the locks of your mind, the right hand might reach out one day and you will bring yourself to take it. you don't know what tomorrow's going to be. if in the meantime the only thing we have to gain in staying is each other -- isn't that enough? isn't that everything? why does this one guy saved mean the world saved to me, a little bit? hello. hello. hello. there's stuff going on in the deep here.
when I say that the deep thematic spine of this game is so good and solid that the occasional clumsiness and false tones of the writing on top of it simply cannot hurt me... I think this is part of what I mean. works for every single one of the characters of course! lucanis' is the predicament that speaks to me most viscerally. for. uh. personal reasons there simply is no time to get into at this juncture lol. but just as much the idea that davrin can die before he could see the world freed from the blight and the need for wardens, or that harding can get cut down right at the beginning of a great revelation that could change everything and heal things no one had even dreamed could be healed. all of them are like this. each and every one of us has a world and so many stories inside that matter, and it's not to dismiss the larger systemic forces and evils that create so much of the suffering in the world to focus in on that for one installment of the series -- only to view it from a different angle that brings other things to light than what we're looking for normally in this series. it's worth looking at what's actually here.
(have you ever heard the poem 'good light' by andrea gibson? it's very good. you should check it out if you haven't, you can find it on youtube. it has these lines:
Come make it count Our finding each other like we found God Come root for the salt Come believing we can heal it all, even everything Even everything that has ever been done I know how much the pain of this world weighs But I can still tip the scales in light's direction Whenever I have your name on my tongue
and yeah. I think that's basically what I'm trying to say here.)
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#every day my da:tv is in many ways da2 2 thesis grows stronger lol#I finished the game for the first time last night and already my neurons are doing. this. god help us all I guess
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making cc to cope haul
here's a set of conversions/recolours/creations over the last month or so, swatches as always will be under the cut. u can open the img in a new tab and zoom in to see them as it is a fairly large img
1 - Sims4Life lantern. A merged file, I've never solo'd making a lamp before so any problems let me know! Found in Ceiling Lights. It's quite high poly at 3.8k but textures remain 512px. (wont show swatch below as they're all on display there) - DOWNLOAD
2 - NICKNAME's coca cola clock. Single package, doesn't have animated hands unfortunately. Found in Small Electronics. 252 polys, 512px texture. - DOWNLOAD
3 - Wrenmie's Rugs 4t2. UPDATE 15TH DEC 2024 MESHES HAVE BEEN FIXED! THEY ALL SHOW IN RUGS NOW Includes both the neutral and green ones so far. I also recoloured the checkered swatch from the neutral set in Poppet's Lonesome palette. On meshes by Nengi65, included. 512px textures. - DOWNLOAD
4 - Pamphlets by Simdertalia. Includes vacation and aquarium recolours, 182 polys. 512px textures. Found in Sculptures. - VACATION / AQUARIUM
5 - Cushionz. I made my own addons for these pillows by MysticRain, I just made the existing pillows more square rather than stretched/rectangular. Was something that could not have been fixed by usual remapping, apparently. 40 swatches, 256px textures and 100-200 polys for the meshes. Don't even ask what the textures are, I just know we need some cushions that are unusual and defo from Redbubble. Found in Sculptures - DOWNLOAD
6 - iyaS Fishing Rod wall deco - I have plans to recreate Coral Island in TS2 at some point and these were a must for the beach shack. Even put a lil detail on the two recolours with Jim and Sunny's name on them respectively. 919 polys, 512 x 1024px texture. Found in Sculptures. - DOWNLOAD
7 - Severinka Tao Vase - Something of course I needed for Jim's house that I am building with great pain and suffering atm. The texture is so pretty even at 512px omg! Too bad it is 2.2k polys. Although I kinda get why (the animal detail on the neck of the vase). I blended the normal map with the texture for extra oomph. Found in Sculptures - DOWNLOAD
8 - Records On The Wall - Here's some Vinyl textures I made and put on Aikea-Guinea's half-height wall mesh. Includes my brand new fresh addons I've made for the mesh too, which I will showcase better with a later CC I have that didn't make the cut here. The addons are just versions sized down of the original in Medium, Small and Xtra Small. I also tweaked the mapping a tiny bit so that the mesh displays the texture true to the aspect ratio without having to stretch it. 512 px textures, around 20 swatches for you to use. - DOWNLOAD
credits - Aikea-guinea, Severinka, MysticRain, Simdertalia, iyaS, Nengi65, Sims4Life, Wrenmie, Nickname, Poppet
swatches in order of appearance!!! 👇
THE RUGS
checkered lonesome palette swatch
neutral swatch
green swatch

PAMPHLETS
Vacation ones
Aquarium ones. Note btw these share the same mesh

CUSHIONZ

TAO VASE

RECORDS ON THE WALL
#ts2#mycc#ts2cc#HOPE U guys like this preview style because im 1) tired and dont have the energy and 2) its easier to see what ur getting#dl:buy#dl:buildbuy#dl:rugs#dl:recolours#dl:wallhangings#dl:cushions#dl:deco
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Charbroiled Basilisk
“Run that by me one more time,” Cleo said, rubbing their temples, “You…what?”
“We accidentally made an AI.” Mumbo said sheepishly, “And it says it’s made copies of all of you, besides me and Doc, and is torturing all your copies in the worst ways imaginable. For um. Eternity?”
Cleo stared at the box Mumbo was talking about. It was a rectangular PC case with a monitor perched on top, a monitor that was showing a pair of angry red eyes. The eyes looked between Mumbo, and Doc, and then back to her.
The box, Cleo noted, was plugged into the wall.
“Uh,” Jevin said, tilting his head with a slosh, “So like, far be it from me to tell you guys how to do your jobs. But like, why? Why did you make a machine that did that?”
“We didn’t!” Doc threw his hands up, “We made the AI to help us design things. I just- we wanted a redstone helper.”
“And then it got really smart really quickly.” Mumbo said awkwardly, twiddling his moustache nervously, “It says it’s perfectly benevolent and only wants to help!”
“Uh-huh.” Cleo said, “‘Benevolent’, is it?”
“Well, yeah. It’s been spitting out designs for new farms I couldn’t even imagine.” Mumbo said, pointing at the machine. The evil red eyes faded away, and it suddenly showed an image of a farm of some kind, rotating in place. It was spitting out a constant stream of XP onto a waiting player, who looked very happy.
A nearby printer started to grind and wheeze, Cleo’s eyes following a cable plugged into the box all the way to the emerging paper. Doc fished out the printout, and hummed consideringly.
“Interesting. Never considered a guardian-based approach to one of these…”
“Doc.” Cleo said, “What was that about this thing torturing copies of us for all eternity?”
“Oh, uh, that,” Doc said, “Um. The machine says it’s benevolent and only wants what’s best for us, which is why it’s decided that your copies need to suffer an eternity of torment. For um. Not helping in its creation, and slowing down the time it took for this thing to exist?”
Cleo stared at the box.
“...So, there’s a fragment of me swirling around in there in abject agony?” Cleo mused, and Jevin hissed some gas out of a hole in his slime in exasperation.
“Like, I’m no philosopher,” Jevin said, “But that doesn’t sound particularly “benevolent” to me. Like, my idea of a benevolent helper-guy is…honestly, probably Joe. Helps with no thought of reward and doesn’t, uh, want to send me into the freaking torment nexus? Why would something benevolent want to send us to super-hell? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Fair point. I knew you were making this stupid thing, but. This is just dumb.” Cleo groaned.
“Man, I need a drink,” Jevin said, pulling a bottle of motor oil out of his inventory and popping the top. Jevin shoved the bottle into the slime of his other hand and let the viscous yellow fluid pour into his slime, slowly turning green as it met with the blue.
“Yeah, I’ll second that. So…to recap, you two decided to build a thing. The thing declared it was a benevolent helper to playerkind, then immediately decided it was also going to moonlight as the new Satan of our own personal digital Hell? Have I got all that correct?” Cleo sighed, and Mumbo and Doc nodded sheepishly.
“Cool. I mean, not cool, but. Cool.” Jevin sighed.
“Now, hold on,” Cleo said, “because. How do we know your magic evil box is even telling the truth?”
“Uh…because it told us so?” Mumbo offered weakly.
“Yeah, but… Hang on.” Cleo sighed, tapping a message into their comm.
<ZombieCleo> Cub, how much data storage would it take to store and render a single player’s brain or brain equivalent?
<cubfan135> probably like a petabyte or more
<cubfan135> why
<ZombieCleo> don’t ask
<cubfan135> i see
<cubfan135> what did doc do this time?
<ZombieCleo> You don’t want to know.
“So, let’s say it’s a petabyte per player,” Cleo mused, looking up from their comm, “So that’s…twenty-six petabytes to render all of us, minus you two, of course.”
The red eyes were staring at her angrily.
“Did you guys give your evil box twenty-six petabytes of data storage, by chance?”
“Um, no? I don’t think so, anyway…” Mumbo said awkwardly, scratching his head.
“So, odds are, if this thing IS being truthful, then all it’s torturing are a bunch of sock puppet hermits.” Cleo said, gesturing at the computer, “It doesn’t have the data storage, let alone processing power.”
“If that,” Jevin countered, “that thing’s probably got, what, ten terabytes? Optimistically? Dude, it’s probably just sticking pins in a jello cube instead of actually torturing, you know, me.”
“And another thing!” Cleo said, “Even assuming you DID give your stupid box enough data storage for all of us, how the hell did it get our player data to start with?”
“Yeah!” Jevin countered, “It would have had to either get us to submit to a brain scan- which, why would you ever do that if it’s gonna use the scan to torture you? Or like, since I don’t have a brain, find some way to steal our player data. And I feel like Hypno or X or someone would have noticed?”
“Uh…” Doc scratched his head, “I don’t know.”
“You reckon it’s lying, mate?” Mumbo asked, and Doc nodded.
“Probably yeah. So…We can just…ignore it?”
“Oh no,” Cleo said, shaking their head, “We’re not ignoring anything.”
“We’re not?” Mumbo asked.
“Nope!” Cleo said, “We’re not ignoring a damn thing. Because…”
She and Jevin locked eyes.
“-Because if there’s even the SLIGHTEST CHANCE that this thing’s locked me and you in a phone booth together for like, three days, then…well. Then it pays.” Jevin nodded with a slop of slime.
Cleo marched over and grabbed the plug, yanking it out of the wall. The screen momentarily showed a bright red ! and then flashed to a dead black. She picked up the whole unit and walked over to Jevin, who’d punched a one-block hole in the floor and filled it with lava.
Cleo threw the computer inside, and all four hermits watched as it fizzled away to nothing.
“And that,” Cleo said, “is how you roast a basilisk.”
#magnetar writes#Hermitcraft fic#Mumbo Jumbo#Docm77#ZombieCleo#iJevin#Parody#this was written at 1 AM last night so this may be a little ???
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Fermented Fruit Juice
I saw a post a while ago talking about how Varric ended up "winning" against Solas, and really liked it. I've been revisiting a lot of Inquisition dialogue lately and found perhaps my favorite conversation between the two when it comes to highlighting their ideological differences. It also foreshadows why Varric "wins" at the end of Veilguard (within the confines of the endgame choices we're given) even in death.
The crux of it: Varric lives in a world in which his very existence is an act of resistance, while Solas sees resistance as a trial that must be endured to get desired results.
As always, once I get started I'm sure this will be very long, but I love that we got the chance to see a very rare instance in which Solas concedes a point to one of his companions.
Solas: Once, in the Fade, I saw the memory of a man who lived alone on an island. Most of his tribe had fallen to beasts or disease. His wife had died in childbirth. He was the only one left. He could have struck out on his own to find a new land, new people. But he stayed. He spent every day catching fish in a little boat, every night drinking fermented fruit juice and watching the stars.
Varric: I can think of worse lives.
Solas: How can you be happy surrendering, knowing it will all end with you? How can you not fight?
Varric: I suppose it depends on the quality of the fermented fruit juice.
As always with Inquisition dialogue, I am obsessed. But this moment does such a great job of laying out the fundamental building blocks of each character.
Solas comes right out of the gate and lets us know who he is. He is united with the man living in the ruin of all that his life used to be.
Solas, too, is living alone in a world where all he once knew has been taken from him. Before his sleep he had a master to serve, and then a rebellion to lead. He fought, he was relentless; his people were suffering but they were whole. There were opportunities to find comfort, familiarity, or even just a new normal amongst new lands and people, but he rejected them (I think perhaps this is best shown through the murder of Felassan/the plot of the Masked Empire). Now, he lives as much as he possibly can in the fade and waits for his opportunity to restore the world he believes he ruined in his quest to save it (imprisoning the Evanuris through the creation of the veil).
Varric, conversely, has been tearing his way through this (to Solas) new world his entire life. I also think it's worth noting that his attitude is probably an absolute smack in the face to Solas, who knows what the dwarves once were and is responsible for the loss of their dreams and the ruination of the titans. But Varric doesn't need to know what was lost in order to know what an uphill battle he faces in Thedas as a dwarf. And fuck, he's from Kirkwall, he knows exactly how much worse life can get than a quiet existence with food, drink, and the stars for company.
But because these two have such a cool dynamic of agree-to-disagree/mutual admiration for each other, Varric thinks the story over and renews the discussion.
Varric: What's with you and the doom stuff? Are you always this cheery or is the hole in the sky getting to you?
Solas: I've no idea what you mean.
Varric: All the "fallen empire" crap you go on about. What's so great about empires anyway?
Varric: So we lost the Deep Roads, and Orzammar's too proud to ask for help. So what? We're not Orzammar and we're not our empire.
Varric: There are tens of thousands of us living up here in the sunlight now, and it's not that bad.
Varric: Life goes on. It's just different than it used to be.
Solas: And you have no concept of what that difference cost you.
Varric: I know what it didn't cost me. I'm still here, even after all those thaigs fell.
God I love what the dialogue in these games used to be. There's so much I could talk about, but I think what I want to focus on is the idea of empire being so smoothly fitted in to the discussion.
Varric, knowing Solas isn't fully satisfied with his answer, ruminates and comes back swinging. This is also where I'll add that part of the reason I think Varric throws Solas so badly is because he's what Felassan could have been with more time to form his arguments. When Solas made the choice to take Felassan's game piece off the board, our favorite slow arrow was just coming to terms with the idea that there is beauty in taking what an imperfect world offers you and making the best of it. Varric is comfortable in this viewpoint, and Solas can't just kill him on a mission or at Skyhold. He has no choice but to hear the argument he fights to ensure he doesn't have to hear.
And damn, what an argument. Without meaning to, Varric cuts to the quick of what has been haunting Solas. You cannot snap your fingers and re-establish Empire as it once was. Orzammar has cordoned itself off from the rest of the world, does not ask for help, and clings to an ever-crumbling old order. Even if you tried, too much has changed. Dwarves are not what they once were, and more and more have returned to the surface. Life goes on. It's just different than it used to be. And Solas has never been able to confront that possibility.
True to form, he pushes back. But why not give it a try? Why take what you've been given when you could wrest what you've been denied from the hand that holds it? How can you do nothing?
Solas: You truly are content to sit in the sun, never wondering what you could’ve been, never fighting back?
Varric: Ha, you’ve got it all wrong, Chuckles. This is fighting back.
Solas: How does passively accepting your fate constitute a fight?
Varric: In that story of yours—the fisherman watching the stars, dying alone—you thought he gave up right?
Solas: Yes.
Varric: But he went on living. He lost everyone, but he still got up every morning. He made a life, even if it was alone.
Varric: That’s the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you’ve got, it takes—and it’s gone forever. The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That’s as close to beating the world as anyone gets.
Solas: Well said. Perhaps I was mistaken
And then Varric hits him with it: a life alone is still a life. There is nothing that time will not take from us. What Solas fails to understand (and we can blame this on his pride, on his crusade he cannot lay down until he is free of his duty to Mythal, or his straight-up sentimentality) is that if Elvhenan hadn't fallen through the actions of the Evanuris and those he took to stop them, it would have been something else. Life is a wailing gnashing unrelenting song that will never be satisfied and can never cease dragging all that falls before it into its maw in the hopes that finally something will be enough. When it tears something down, your only choices are to "lie down and die or keep going." And again, as a Kirkwall survivor, Varric knows this. An occupying force remove your political leader? Quell the violence and try again. The chantry explodes? Save the city's mages from their bloodthirsty jailer and make sure there's a tomorrow where you can fight to fix it.
We know this doesn't dissuade Solas, the burden he's placed upon himself it too great, the ways that war has shaped him have scarred deep. Part of the tragedy of Solas is how he's been walking the dinan'shiral so long that he is incapable of turning around. Every step he takes has sent sharp rocks cutting into his feet, and it would kill him to turn around and see just how little of a distance he's covered. He cannot let go of resistance as a concentrated action, as fighting until there's nothing left but ruination.
But it is no small feat on Varric's part to get the Dread Wolf himself to concede a point. And a step further than that, Solas respects his friend, and respects the life he's built amongst the scraps of what once was. I don't doubt for a minute that Varric was a key part of why Solas was able to start seeing the world around him as a little more real.
And then of course we get Veilguard.
It is here that Solas dooms himself.
"You came a long way and made a valiant effort, Varric, but this story does not end with my downfall."
But it does. Because even if Varric, like Felassan, is taken off the table, Rook endures. And what is Rook in this game if not the very continuation of Varric's fighting spirit: an absolutely untested newbie who through miracle after miracle (regardless of the issues I may take with that) is the very portrait of "But he went on living" ?
Varric may not get to be the one to talk Solas down at the very end of the game after Mythal waves her hand and unleashes her second-in-command, but by delaying long enough to stop the ritual, by refusing to give up on his friend that stares at the stars every night with nothing but his fermented fruit juice for company, he ensured someone would be around who could.
In one of the less kind endings that person is Rook, dragging themselves into the fade with Solas out of sheer spite or sending him there against his will. In the kinder endings, it is the Inquisitor, letting their friend/heart know that at last, merely surviving another day is enough. And I like to think that it is within those kinder endings that Solas thinks of Varric each time he works to soothe the titan's dreams and make life just a little better for the tens of thousands living in the sunlight. Perhaps, in this world where he is finally free, he appreciates the gravity of ensuring others have a chance to keep living in a world that is hell-bent on taking. Maybe he even finds a cup of that fermented fruit juice in the fade, sits with his feet dangling over an endless abyss, and drinks to his friend's honor.
I'll leave y'all with a final bit of dialogue I love.
RIP Varric Tethras, an absolute fucking baddie who forced Fen'harel himself to part with just a smidge of his pride and recognize someone that reminded him of what he once was--wiser than most--and in the subtext of this conversation, wiser than a pining spirit of wisdom himself.
Solas: Do you ever miss life beneath the earth? The call of the Stone?
Varric: Nah. Whatever the Stone - capital S - is, it was gone by the time my parents had me.
Solas: But… do you miss it?
Varric: How could I miss what I never had?
Varric: But say I did have that sense, that connection to the Stone. What would it cost me?
Varric: Would I lose my friends up here? Would I stop telling stories?
Varric: I like who I am. If I want to hear songs, I'll go to a tavern.
Solas: You are wiser than most.
#idek how much this is saying lol#but I needed to work through it so here we are#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#solas#varric tethras#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age varric#dragon age meta#veilguard meta#solas meta#mine
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