#me wonder so much about her like how exactly she ended John or how she usually acts like she seems she might be some kind of recluse but

[maybanksmusings]

THE WALLS ; JJ MAYBANK

SYNOPSIS ; when an unknown face appears in the outer banks searching for a father she's never met, she's unaware of how her life is about to be completely turned upside down.

WARNINGS ; jjmaybank x routledge!reader, strong language, depictions of violence, afab!reader, sexual content, mentions of abuse, drug and alcohol consumption, strangers to lovers, fast burn to slow burn, canon adjacent, not proofread.

AUTHORS NOTE ; there is now a taglist! to be added simply let me know down in the comments. enjoy part two!

part one.

as much as you’d grown fond of sarah in the couple of hours since your arrival, her friends made your skin crawl. topper, her boyfriend, with his dumb face and holier-than-thou attitude. you didn’t see what sarah could possibly find appealing, but it wasn’t your place to meddle.

for the duration of getting ready, all sarah did was talk about jj. more specifically, you and jj. she even offered to set you two up, but with sarahs standing with the pouges, it didn’t take a genius to figure out it's better to go solo.

sarahs cropped, off the shoulder sweater does little to shield you from the cool breeze sweeping across the beach. even stuffing your hands into the pockets of your shorts did very little.

you’d seen on tiktok, the most reliable source of information, that alcohol warmed people up which is why you were already on the fourth drink of the night.

nothing to do with finding the courage to talk to john b, that would be ridiculous.

you and sarah were sat on the opposite side of the beach to the pouges, the wooden log hurting your butt as it was used as a makeshift seat. through the flames of the bonfire you watch the pouges, laughing and drinking.

you’re looking at john b and can’t help spotting the similarities between you two, even down to small mannerisms you shared. you wondered if he had any idea about you, if your father had ever told him about you.

taking another swig, your gaze falls onto another pouge of interest. you’re surprised to see he’s already looking at you, nodding his head to gesture you over.

you smile, a genuine, excited smile. it’s too early for schoolgirl crushes, yet you can’t help it. the alcohol in your system doesn’t help it either.

you mumble a quick 'be right back' to sarah, sitting beside you engrossed in deep conversation with an unknown girl about selling sunsets' newest season. she glances at you over her shoulder, giving you a quick nod of acknowledgment and reminding you to be safe.

you head over to the pouges, a light jog across the beach brings you there faster but not fast enough. the reckless, and tipsy, part of your brain wants to get your intentions out in the open. you want to pull john b to the side and pour your drunken little heart out, and if it ended badly you could blame the alcohol.

but then you imagined yourself in his position, how you would feel if john b randomly showed up and dropped a bomb into your life unprovoked.

he looked so happy, like he was having the time of his life, and you couldn't bring yourself to ruin that. the least you could do was spare him the honour of hearing it from you when you were sober, without an audience.

"there she is," jj grins, not exactly slurring his words but you could tell he was buzzed at the very least "turn around, wanna get a good look at you."

with a playful eye roll, you give in to his request, twirling in a circle and laughing at the wolf whistle he lets out in response.

you're more than compliant when he reaches a hand towards you and pulls you closer, the same hand gripping your waist as he held you against his side.

admittedly, you're surprised when he doesn't make a move the second you're close enough. instead he holds on to you as he continues his conversation with pope, almost protectively, possessively.

"kie, back me up here," jj pleads, free hand being thrown up in the air in protest. the same girl from earlier, which you now know to be kie, throws her hands up in surrender.

"not my beef, i'm the neutral party in this war"

you can't help but laugh at the swiftness of her shutdown, your head resting comfortably against jj's shoulder as his thumb grazed back and forth against the skin beneath your sweater.

now, pope and kie are bickering back and forth, john b is flirting with what was commonly referred to as a 'touron' which leaves you and jj in your own little bubble, content and comfortable.

"so, what do you think of paradise so far?" jj asks, voice soft and a sarcastic emphasis on paradise "not too bad, huh?"

"it's growing on me," you grin, putting the sudden butterflies in your stomach down to having too much to drink "i've lived in worse places."

an eyebrow quirks, curiosity evident on jjs face, you can tell he wants to ask more, but for someone so forward he seems to be reluctant.

"don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to sticking in one place," you admit, as truthful as you can be without saying too much "kinda just bounce around."

"sounds expensive, you sure you ain't a kook?" jj teases, head tilted downward to bring you two face to face "'cause, i'm down with the whole being a sugar baby thing."

you laugh, loudly, head flung back, hair being blown in the wind as jj retains his grip on you, awestruck as he took you in for as long as he could. he wished he could freeze this moment and live in it forever, which made him want to squirm because he had just met you that day.

your bubble of euphoria is quickly burst, the beach erupting in roars as people grouped around the shore. a fight.

you roll your eyes, annoyed beyond explanation. you scan the crowd, trying to pick out any faces you could even somewhat recognise in an attempt to work out who was at the root of the fight.

much like this morning, you see that recognisable flash of blonde pushing through the crowds. your posture straightens, a weird feeling of protectiveness taking hold as her screams of toppers name rise above the chants of 'fight'.

you really did not like topper, so you weren't pushing through people for him, but for sarah.

"top! you're gonna kill him!"

and she wasn't wrong, as you drew closer to the scene you had a plain view of the scene that had the partygoers enthralled. topper holding someone under the water, obviously wanting whoever was under to not come back up.

it's only when you catch sight of who topper is trying to kill does your feet speed up, carrying you faster and faster towards the water. your brain struggling to come up with a plan as fast as you're moving.

you don't know how it happens, but you're on toppers back, your arm wrapped so tightly around his neck that you're starting to lose feeling. in some sort of femme fetal action movie, you would've taken him down.

but it wasn't a movie.

as if it was nothing, topper reaches behind himself and pulls you off him, ripping you straight into the ice-cold water.

"fuckin' pouge" he spits, hands wrapping around your throat as he forces you underwater this time. you claw and kick and squirm, but he's stronger. what feels like hours is only seconds, when you break the surface your hands are bloody and there's a gash across toppers face.

your reprieve is short-lived, only having come up in the first place because topper had recoiled in pain. you were far from a quitter, but this was a fight you knew you weren't coming out of. so when the water covered your face once more, you let it.

it was scarily peaceful, people's screams and shouts practically inaudible. falling asleep would be easy right about now, you could just drift off.

you would probably be better off.

your delusional tranquillity comes to an abrupt end when you, yet again, resurface. this time the party is well and truly over, people running in every direction.

you worried it was the cops, you really would have been better off if topper had finished the job if that was the case.

"hey, hey you good?" john b is holding your face as you cough up the water you inhaled. his voice is soft, gentle as he checks on you.

he was the big brother you grew up praying for, only he was none the wiser.

when you burst into tears it's put down to shock, and when you throw your arms around john b he doesn't question it, instead he helps you to your feet.

"come on kid, we got you."

when you wake you have no idea where you are, sun filters through flimsy curtains and you're dressed in clothes you definitely weren't wearing the night before.

before you have time to work yourself into a breakdown, a soft knock raps against the door. it opens before you can say a word.

john b gently closes the door behind him, sitting at the foot of the bed to give you as much space as possible "how are you feeling?"

"whose clothes are these?" you blurt out, desperately wanting to figure out how she got into this outfit and, more importantly, who put you into it.

as if he could read your mind, he explains "kie, kiara, had the supplies. got you changed out of your wet clothes, alone, scouts honour."

a sigh of relief bellows through your entire body, at least that was something.

"i gotta ask you something," john b starts, his tone shifting ever so slightly to one more serious "i went through everything in my head a dozen times but i can't work out why you did that?"

"did what?"

"saved my life." john b deadpans, looking you in the eye with an intensity that tells you you can't lie your way out of this one "you could have died."

without a word, you stand. you find your damp clothes tossed in a corner and pick them up. john b watches as you stuff your hands into your pockets, dread bubbling up as he tried to come up with what your reasoning could possibly be.

when you return, you sit beside him with your hands clasped around the cold metal you'd pulled from the pocket of your shorts.

"you have to hear me out." you being, hyperaware of how insane what you were about to tell him was "believe me, i know this is insane."

watching his reaction, you show him the compass your father had given you. up until recently, your mother had it tucked away safely in her room. you never met your father, you were told he died when you were a baby. but then you got a sweet sixteen card in the mail, and then there was no record of a deceased john routledge, and then, a week ago, his face is all over your television screen alongside a brother you never knew you had.

you pop the back off of the compass, revealing the hidden compartment not many people knew existed and taking a small, folded note from inside.

"hey, ducky. been a while since i wrote, you know what mom is like. listen, duck, we haven't been entirely honest with you, your mom and i. if you're okay with it, there's someone i'd like you to meet." you read out the note, voice shaky and hands trembling "he left an address at the bottom."

john b carefully takes the note from your hands, wiping away a stray tear thinking you hadn't seen it. he reads it, over and over "this is this address, my dads writing if he signed it dad that means.."

you nod, knowing whats racing through his head all too well "yeah" you sniffle, not exactly sure why you were crying.

"john b, you're my brother."

taglist!

@rainingcecilias

[lemoncrushh]

Her Album

Summary: Harry has finished recording his album, and he wants her to hear it.

Warnings: Angst, lots of feelings

Word Count: 2.9k+

A/N: A short one-shot written in 2019 in first person from Harry's POV. While this is not necessarily a reader fic, the woman's name is never mentioned. This was written before Fine Line was out, so it's pretty wild to think about it now.

The album was done. I’d made a visit to the studio to hear the final mix and then had lunch with Jeffrey and Glenne. As I drove home, I listened to the songs again in the car, deciding not to stop at my house when I got there, but instead to keep going so I could give one last listen straight through.

I’m not sure how I ended up on her street. It used to be automatic, like taking my shoes off before my trousers, or putting the cap back on the toothpaste. I’d driven down her block so many times before, I probably knew it better than my own neighbourhood.

I sat in the car for a long time, staring up at her window. I wasn’t even sure if she was home. I couldn’t tell if a light was on, but it was the middle of the day and that window was her bedroom, so she could’ve been anywhere else inside. I let the album loop around to the first track again, the opening chords hitting me in the chest just like the first time I’d heard them.

I wanted her to hear them too. I wanted her to listen to the melodies and have them bring back the memories that had inspired me to write them. I wanted her to listen to my lyrics and know they were all about her, even the ones that weren’t as obvious. Songs about love and loss. Songs about sex and lust and forbidden fruit. Songs that sounded like they were about something completely different, hidden behind loose meanings and innuendos.

But they were all about her.

I scrolled through my phone and opened the contacts to her name. We hadn’t spoken in weeks, maybe even months. I’d lost count. Being in the studio had helped to heal my broken heart, and my pride, but it certainly hadn’t erased her memory. She was with me every single day, every moment that I worked on a song.

I almost tapped on her name, my thumb grazing over it. But I stopped myself, turning off my phone, and then my engine. Climbing out of the car, I walked around it to the pavement in front of her building, once again looking up at her window. For a second I considered being like John Cusack in Say Anything, holding up an 80s boom box and serenading her with my music so she’d notice. But I reckoned that was borderline stalking, not to mention disturbing the neighbours, so I made my way to the stairs and climbed them to the second floor.

I stopped in front of her door, staring at it for a good two to three minutes before I even lifted my hand. I took several breaths, wondering if I was making a mistake. She probably didn’t wanna see me, let alone talk to me. She didn’t give a shit about my album. She had moved on.

But I was there. I felt like something had brought me there for a reason, and that reason was to play her my music. Let her know exactly how I felt about her - how she drove me crazy and how she’d hurt me and how I’d hurt her. How in love with her I’d been. How I still…

Finally, I knocked, a little too softly at first, but I didn’t want to startle her. At least that’s what I told myself. When no one responded, however, I knocked again, much louder and with determination.

“Jesus, I’m coming!” I heard her yell from inside. “Hold your-”

She stood before me with a half-eaten apple in her hand, her mouth open and her eyes wide. She wore a t-shirt and shorts, her hair pulled back in a loose bun and no makeup. She looked beautiful.

“Hey,” I said, my voice not quite cooperating so I sounded like a frog.

“Harry.” She said my name in almost a question, though she knew it was me. She just wondered why it was me.

When she didn’t say anything else, I shifted my eyes up and down the hall and shrugged.

“Can I come in?”

I admit, I expected her to nod and step back to let me inside her apartment. But when she shook her head, my face fell.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she remarked.

“Um...why not?”

“Because…” she began, her tone hard as steel, “I just got over you.”

“Over me?” I gulped.

“Yeah. It’s taken me a while, but I finally am,” she explained, placing the apple on the table by the door. Then wiping her hands on her shorts, she leaned against the door frame. “You haven’t shown your face here in nearly three months. I can’t just let you waltz on in here and undo everything.”

“‘m not…” I stumbled, “‘m not undoing anything.”

“Then why are you here?”

Her gorgeous but stern eyes glared at me, piercing through my heart. I looked down at my feet, thinking I’d made a mistake by coming. She didn’t want any more to do with me. I’d waited too long and missed the window. Maybe there hadn’t even been one.

Lifting my head, I looked at her beautiful face again. It was then that I recognized the shirt she was wearing - my old AC/DC t-shirt.

“Looks like you’re not completely over me,” I pointed. I dunno why I said it. It was petty and juvenile.

“What?” she huffed, crossing her arms.

“You’re wearing my shirt.”

She looked down at the emblem on her chest, seemingly just realizing what she had on. With a sigh, she dropped her arms.

“I just like it,” she said, her head held high. “And you basically gave it to me anyway.”

“No, I didn’t.” Shut up, H, you’re making it worse, I thought to myself.

“Well, you left it here. And I ended up sleeping in it. And you never came back, so…” She crossed her arms again in defense.

She was right. The last time I’d been in her apartment, we’d had a massive fight, and I’d told her it was over and stormed out. She’d tried calling and texting me for a couple days, but I’d ignored her, stubborn with pride. When I’d finally agreed to talk to her again, I was only being a right twat, unable to see or accept her side. So, we only ended up fighting again until she said she needed some space.

“I was giving you your space,” I muttered, knowing damn well I sounded like a wanker.

“For six weeks?” she snorted and shook her head. “You have some nerve, Harry.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“What was that?” she stepped closer to me, her brows furrowed. “Did you really just say you’re sorry?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Sorry for what? For breaking my heart? For being a dickhead? For not calling or texting or even saying one word to me for freaking ever? For telling me it was over in the first place? Or for showing up here now when I’m finally over you?”

I blinked. “All of it,” I admitted.

Her lips twitched, and for a second I thought she was going to smile.

“Fuck you, Harry!” she exclaimed.

Stepping back, she grabbed the door, ready to slam it. But I brought my hand up and stopped it.

“I want you to listen to it,” I said, remembering why I’d come.

“Why should I listen to you?” she asked, her voice cracking.

“Not to me. To the album. It’s finished, and I want you to hear it.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “You can’t be serious. You came here so I’d listen to your new music? You really are a douchebag.”

“No, you don’t understand, I-“

“You’re right, I don’t,” she interrupted. “But seems to me you had weeks to explain yourself, Harry. I’m done crying over you.”

She was about to shut the door again when I called out, “I’ve been crying over you, too!”

She stood still, her hand on the door that was opened only a crack. Leaning her forehead against it, I could tell she was holding back tears. I didn’t want her to cry now, at least not over this.

“Liar,” she croaked.

“It’s not a lie, ba-” I almost called her baby, but I knew she wouldn’t like that. Not yet. “Please. Let me in. You don’t even have to talk. Just listen to the album.”

I stood silent for a moment, watching her eyelashes flutter against her pink cheeks. Finally, she let out a sigh and stepped back, opening the door to allow me to step inside.

“Thanks,” I muttered low as she closed the door behind me.

She didn’t reply. In fact, she didn’t even look at me as she grabbed her half eaten apple and went into the kitchen. I stood in the middle of the living room, waiting for her return.

“Okay,” she gestured toward me as she plopped onto the couch. “Go ahead.”

Spotting her laptop on the coffee table, I pointed. “Do you mind?”

She merely nodded and I sat down next to her and opened it. Then sliding my hand into my pocket, I pulled out the USB drive and plugged it in, bringing up the files I’d saved in the studio. With a click of the mouse, the first track began to play, those familiar chords ringing once again. I sat back and watched her, waiting for some kind of reaction on her face.

But none came.

Not when the first track ended, nor when the second song started, the first lyric blatantly about her. I started to get restless, rubbing my palms on my knees and bouncing my leg. I ran my fingers through my hair, a habit she used to tell me was endearing, only now she didn’t give any indication that she even noticed.

Finally, during the third song, I saw her make the slightest move, leaning against the arm of the sofa and resting her head in her hand. We made eye contact for a second before she quickly looked away, her eyes hazy. I wondered what she was thinking. I wanted so badly to ask, to pry it out of her, but I’d promised she needn’t talk.

We were halfway through the album when I caught more movement out of the corner of my eye. I’d been sat with my head down, unable to look at her during track seven, the most intimate and personal song I’d written. My gaze lifted to her, and I noticed her shoulders were shaking. Her head was still in her hand, her cheeks now wet with tears.

I wanted to reach out, to hold her in my arms. God, I wanted that so bad. But I let her be. I knew she needed to cry without me giving false promises that everything was okay. None of this was okay.

I’d cried when I’d written that song. I’d broken down in the recording booth when I’d sung the chorus for the first time. I only just realized as I watched her body shake with sobs that I’d been an idiot for not telling her how I’d felt. But maybe...just maybe she could finally hear me through my songs.

By the time that track ended, I was in tears too. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, sniffling as I tried to compose myself. I sat back on the couch again, my head leant back. I shut my eyes and listened to the next song, one a little more uptempo. I tapped my fingertips on the cushion at my sides, humming softly. This song was about happy memories, when we’d laid on the beach or beside my pool last summer. When we’d been so in love and hadn’t a care in the world. Before all the fighting and jealousy and…

I almost didn’t feel it at first, her hand brushing mine. It was such a light touch, I thought perhaps I was imagining it, lost in the song. But my eyelids fluttered open when I felt it again. I stared at my right hand on the cushion, her slim fingers over mine. She used to like to do that, when we’d be sat together watching a movie, or lying in bed reading. She’d trace my hand and knuckles with her fingertips, her delicate hand dancing over mine before I’d smile and thread our fingers together. It was an unspoken gesture of affection we’d had. I missed it.

God, I missed her.

I raised my head to look at her. I half expected her to be looking at me too, but she was focused on our hands. Her expression wasn’t one I’d hoped either. She looked sad, her cheeks still tear-stained. I wanted to kiss them, make it all better.

I opened my mouth to say her name, but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and she looked at me. I turned my hand over then like I used to, wanting to thread our fingers together. But she pulled away, her jaw set.

“Why’d you do that?” I asked, my voice a deep rasp.

They were the first words either of us had spoken since the music started, and I instantly regretted it, knowing I’d meant to stay silent until the end. We were on track nine now, a couple more songs to go. I still wanted her to hear all of it. I wanted her to know I still felt the same, even though I wasn’t completely over the anger, over the heartbreak. But I’d spilled my guts out in my songs. I was shit at communication, I knew that. I hoped that she could understand it all in my music.

“I...I don’t know,” she whispered.

She crossed her legs then, sat in the corner of the couch. She reached behind her head and pulled at her bun, letting her hair fall freely down her shoulders. She seemed comfortable, at least less resistant than she had when I’d knocked on her door. I could tell she wanted to talk, but she kept her mouth shut because I’d told her she could. I also felt like she was really listening though. And that was really all I wanted.

“That was a really good song,” she surprised me after track ten. But she didn’t say anything more.

Clearing my throat again, I sucked in my lips when the final song started. If track seven had been the most personal, this was the companion to it. This was me giving my heart, me asking forgiveness and giving it back. This was me wanting another chance to prove how I felt about her. I’d known as I was writing and recording it that the possibility of that happening was slim to none. But I had to take a chance. I was tired of keeping it bottled up, being a stubborn prat because I’d wanted my way and had to be right. I was all kinds of wrong. I knew I wasn’t fully to blame for our break-up, but I was taking responsibility and owning up to my part in it. I hoped she could hear that in my voice.

By the time the song was over, my head was in my hands. I perched on the edge of the sofa shaking. I’d already listened to it a handful of times in the studio and in my car, but it hadn’t had the effect it had now, sat in her living room with her beside me. I was sobbing like a baby.

“Harry…” I heard her whisper.

When I lifted my head this time, she was right beside me, her face so close it startled me. Her hands were in her lap, and she wrung them like she was either nervous or was trying to keep herself from touching me.

“I’m so sorry,” I cried. “For everything.”

“I know,” she nodded. “I heard.”

“Will you forgive me?” I asked, turning to face her. I wanted to lift my hand to touch her face but thought better of it. Instead, I hesitantly reached for her hand. I was pleasantly surprised when she let me take it.

“Only if you forgive me, too,” she said.

I let out a deep breath and leant forward. I wanted to kiss her but wasn’t sure if she was ready yet. Lifting my hand this time, I grazed her cheek and wiped a tear away with my thumb.

“I still love you,” I admitted. “I never stopped. I’m just so sorry I waited this long.”

She bit her perfect bottom lip, her big eyes blinking fast.

“I thought I was over you,” she said. “I thought you were over me.”

“Guess we were both wrong.”

She leant into me then, and I took it as my cue. I took her into my arms and kissed her, like I’d wanted to kiss her for months. She felt so good against me, and I quickly found myself shedding more tears.

“We still have a lot to talk about,” she whispered when I released her lips.

“I know,” I agreed. “I promise I’m not walking out this time.”

“Good,” she nodded before kissing me again.

We ended up listening to the album again together while we prepared and ate dinner. There were more tears, but also lots of conversation. We had a long way to go, but I was hopeful.

Something had made me drive down her street. I guess it was me.

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MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[makethemhoesmad]

first sight

dancing with our hands tied part one!

paige bueckers x reader

—

brooke’s pov

“holy shit brooke,” taniya shouts from her room. 

“what,” i yell back. it’s a questionable method of communication, but it works for us. i hear her footsteps clambering towards my room, then my door bursts open and taniya, my five-foot-barely anything roomate flings herself onto my bed.

“paige FUCKING bueckers commented on your post and all you did was like it? i thought i taught you better than this, bee,” taniya says, shaking her head at me.

“well, it’s not like-“

“HOLD ON,” taniya cuts me off, “she liked this comment saying ‘the spine tattoo…my god’ brooklyn mae johns she’s fucking in love with you.”

i roll my eyes at taniya’s wild predictions, which aren’t new to our friendship. “first of all, my name isn’t even brooklyn, second of all, wait, check my phone, who’s that message from?”

taniya picks up my phone, reads something, then screams at the top of her lungs and chucks my phone at me.

Paige💕

Hey was just wondering what college you went to?

i stare blankly at the screen, starstruck. taniya nudges me, motioning at the phone to respond.

Brookee🐝

Uconn, like you. 

Paige💕

Oh shit really? I didn’t know you knew so much about me😏

“is she really tryna flirt with me IN MY DMS right now?” i say out loud. taniya giggles.

“no shit sherlock, that’s why she slid into your dms. tell her you like basketball or something!”

Brookee🐝

i mean, i like basketball and my dorm isn’t that far from gampel. the mcdonald’s like twenty minutes away is like ten times cooler tho.

“you sneaky shit,” taniya snickers.

Paige💕

Fr you should meet me there in like 30.

Brookee🐝 

No shit?

Paige💕

Yeah i’ll see ya then

i swipe out of instagram and start pacing around my room, opening drawers and holding things up to my body.

“bee, cool it. paige is about to show up in team travel gear, so your sweatpants and cute ass tank top are fine. put on some mascara or something if it’ll help you chill, but you’ll look great.” taniya is a little psychotic most of the time, but she’s calm as fuck in these situations.

i twist my hair up into a clip and climb into my car, palms sweaty. i don’t know why i agreed, this is so creepy and random.

Paige💕

i’m otw, u almost there?

Brookee🐝

yeah almost, ps don’t text and drive

Paige💕

hypocrite

Brookee🐝

😔

~

“hey brooke!” i hear a voice from behind the booth im sitting in, nursing a sprite and a small fry.

“hi paige,” i say, grinning. she smiles back, and slides into the other side of the booth, then reaches over and takes one of my fries.

“get your own,” i chide, while sliding the fries closer to her. “besides that, why’d you randomly want to know what college i go to?”

she shifts in her seat. as she opens her mouth, a waitress comes by with a happy meal. paige opens it up and dumps her fries into the other end of the nugget box. before she eats, i quickly snap a picture.

“you don’t mind if i post this? it’s kinda how im paying for my guilty pleasures.”

she nods, “yeah, tag me. anyway, i asked you about what college you went to because i thought i knew you from somewhere, but i just could not figure out what. also, you’re like, really pretty so i wanted to talk to you.”

she blushes at the last part, which makes my cheeks go a bit pink. 

“well, you’re not exactly bad looking yourself. when can i see you again, because it’s getting late and i want to see my bed,” i say. taniya would be proud of my straightforwardness.

“Well, i’ve got tickets to a Sun & Fever game for monday, and the person i was going with just bailed on me, so do you wanna come?” 

i blink at paige in shock. i’ve literally known her in person for maybe twenty five minutes and she’s already offering me things?

“i mean, im not doing anything, and the Sun’s arena isn’t that far, is it?” i ask, hoping to get any more information on whatever she’s proposing.

“yeah, it’s probably only like an hour with traffic, but i can pick you up and drive you home if you want? or we can get a hotel? i have a hotel, but i can cancel it if you wanna you home, i just didn’t want to drive again after the game because leaving would be hell.”

i nod, hoping it looks cool and confident and not utterly confused.

“yeah, we can keep the hotel, it’s okay.”

“aight, i’ll get you on monday around three.” 

paige walks me out to my car, and as i climb in, she grabs my hand and squeezes it. once i see that she’s gone, i call taniya.

“Bitch do i have so much to tell you.”

[quin-ns]

The blue VIII (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Series summary: JJ has a secret, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold onto it. He discovers his breaking point when his best friend starts to show interest in you, his step sister, who he’s already fallen hard for

Series tags: step brother!jj, dual pov, jealousy, one sided john b x reader, drinking, inappropriate relationship, public sex, oral sex (f receiving)

A/N: the final chapter. I had a lot of fun not only writing but sharing my first series with you guys 🫶

Series masterlist + OBX masterlist

You hadn’t planned on JJ following you inside, but a part of you knew he would anyway.

You were glad he did, because when JJ took you into his arms, you felt a wave of comfort that you desperately needed. You had so many days to prepare for this, but it still didn’t feel like enough. Thinking and talking about how to tell your friends versus actually telling them was very different.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized.

You tilted your head up and found JJ looking down at you. You wondered if he could see your guilt as the thought of backing out crossed your mind.

JJ leaned in after a moment. His lips ghosted yours as he muttered, “It’s okay.”

Someone cleared their throat, and it wasn’t JJ. The sound that filled the room came from near the doorway. You tensed and even though anxiety made you want to bury your face into JJ’s shirt, you turned your head.

John B stood a few feet in the doorway, a look of sheer embarrassment on his face. He scratched the back of his head, eyes not meeting yours or JJ’s directly.

“Was just coming to check on you guys…” he said awkwardly, gesturing to you and JJ. You swallowed and parted from JJ, even if it was the last thing you wanted to do. You failed to speak and so did JJ. “So is this a thing, or…?”

“We can explain,” you said, not even knowing how to begin.

“Yeah, we were gonna tell you guys, we just”—JJ shrugged and looked at you—“we just didn’t know how.”

Kiara and Pope picked that moment to come into the house. A spotlight might as well have been shining down on you. You’d probably be sweating in a minute.

“What’s going on?” Kiara questioned, looking between the three of you. “If you’re back to arguing—“

“Kie, stop,” JJ interjected, lifting a hand. “No one is arguing, okay?”

Kiara pouted at being interrupted. “Well what is it then?”

You locked eyes with John B. Your heart stammered in your chest, even as he deferred to you. You looked up to JJ and found him looking at you as well. They’d follow your lead, you could see it in their eyes. They had different tells, but you knew them well enough to figure this out. It was up to you.

You gave JJ a light nod. No backing down now.

“We have something to tell you guys,” you blurted out, facing the group.

JJ reached for your hand, and you saw the moment it clicked for Kie and Pope. Confusion set in, Kie with wide eyes and Pope with furrowed brows. John B’s smile was tight lipped as he attempted an assuring look.

“You… you um…” Pope began, like he wasn’t sure how the sentence ended.

“Yeah,” JJ said. “We’re together.”

You weren’t sure what was worse, the dead silence or the stares you were receiving. Time passed so slowly in those quiet seconds.

“How long…?” Kiara wondered cautiously.

“About a month,” you admitted. “We weren’t sure how to bring it up.”

“I can see why,” Kiara muttered. You heard JJ suck in a breath. “Sorry,” she apologized, actually sounding guilty.

John B shoved his hands into his pockets, shoulders slouching. “Well it explains a lot,” he decided. His brows raised in JJ’s direction. “That's why you got so mad at me, isn’t it?”

“I was jealous,” JJ confessed. “I didn’t handle it well ‘cause she didn’t know and I didn’t think I could ever tell her how I felt.”

“I had no idea,” you added, hoping it was the right thing to say. You were at a loss for what the right thing was, truthfully. There couldn’t be a right thing to say in a situation like this. There wasn’t exactly a blueprint for how to explain your step brother was no longer that in your eyes, and that even more than that he was also your boyfriend. “This just sort of happened, but it’s working.”

There was a sense of relief that intertwined with your anxiety. At least you got the words out. They left your mind and now existed in open space. It wasn’t a secret anymore.

“I still have a lot of questions,” Pope commented awkwardly.

It was fair, you would too. So whatever they asked, you and JJ answered. Eventually the nervous energy in the room wore off and you were all able to move back out to the porch, where you continued the little Q and A. You and JJ told them everything. It was uncomfortable at first, especially when JJ started talking about the fact he’d struggled for so long with his feelings before you knew. You held his hand and couldn’t fight your frown as he voiced his former anxiety. It seemed like such a long time ago. You couldn’t imagine a world where JJ looked at you full of love and desire and you didn’t meet his gaze with the same emotions.

They finally got the truth about the night John B and JJ argued, about the movie, about the party—although, the detail about you and JJ sleeping together was one you consciously left out. The two of you were often on the same wavelength and silently agreed they didn’t need to know that much. The fact you both admitted feelings was information enough. Your friends could only digest so much in one night. Eventually JJ would tell John B and Pope on a guys day, and you’d have to tell Kie on a girls night, and they’d all talk to each other, and it would be a thing… but then it wouldn’t. That was usually how things went with this group. Everyone always found out everything eventually.

You and JJ took turns talking. It was the most you’d seen him open up in a while when it wasn’t just the two of you. Even though the looks on your friends' faces read like they were still unsure of how to react, your confidence grew. With every word of admiration JJ said with your name to follow, and how easily amazing moments with him appeared in your mind, you were certain you’d made the right decision. Your friends could understand that with enough time.

“I know—we know—it’s gonna take time to get used to,” you began, fiddling with your hands. They’d have to. They loved you, and they loved JJ. They’d have to accept the way you loved each other. “But do you think you can?” Wouldn’t they?

You looked between John B, Kiara, and Pope, and they exchanged glances between one another. You were sure JJ was doing the same as you.

“Yeah,” John B finally said. “You guys are our friends and if you're happy, then we’re happy for you.”

He sounded like he meant it, and as Pope and Kie nodded along, you could only hope they really did.

Your head hit the pillow with a giggle. JJ was all over you, pressing kisses to your lips, your cheeks, your neck, your chest… He slid down your body, lips leaving a trail down your stomach. His hands bunched in the dress you’d worn to dinner—your first official date out in the open—and pushed it up around your waist.

“You’re such a tease,” you said, face feeling warm as he pressed a kiss to your navel.

JJ looked up at you through his lashes and you just about passed out right there.

The day had been perfect. You needed a perfect day after telling your friends about the nature of your relationship.

You woke up with JJ’s arms around you and stayed in bed until you felt like getting up. Making breakfast wasn’t something you usually did, but Luke was absent from the house so you seized the opportunity to enjoy it. After that you and JJ went to an old movie theater you loved. He actually paid for your tickets to the first movie and the popcorn, but then you each got a thrill out of hopping between screening rooms, trying to see as many movies as you could before you got caught (which you didn’t, maybe they didn’t care enough to watch the cameras).

After, JJ took you to the house and you both changed into something nice. You didn’t even know he owned a pair of pants that went down to his ankles, and you laughed when he emphasized what a big deal it was that he was putting them on for you after you commented on it. You found a white sundress you’d been meaning to wear for the longest time but hadn’t had the opportunity to.

“It’s the perfect time,” he had said, voice full of admiration. “You look amazing.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” you had tossed back, taking his arm as he led you out to his bike.

There was something about being dressed all fancy on JJ’s motorbike that felt as if you were in a scene from a film. Fear didn’t dare to creep in as you held onto his waist from behind—it knew it would be crushed by your joy.

The place you went was still on the Cut, but it was one of the nicest restaurants that your side of the island had. You would’ve gone to The Wreck, but today was just for you and JJ. Kiara wouldn’t have interfered, but you two wanted to be alone. Besides, you didn’t need Mr. or Mrs. Carerra giving you questioning looks when you and JJ ordered one slice of pie and two forks.

You weren’t even sure they had pie on the menu at The Wreck honestly, but the nice place you went did. Key Lime became a new favorite.

You talked, and laughed together, and flirted of course, and forgot the rest of the world existed. You’d never had a real boyfriend, but you could get used to this. That fact that it was JJ made it a hundred times more special. He was the one for you, you never could’ve sat across from anyone else and enjoyed yourself as much as you did with him.

You could hardly keep your hands off of one another when you got back to the house—which you still had to yourself. JJ guided you back to your room, eyes full of hunger and hands moving with intent. The fond recent memories collided with the sensations he inflicted upon you now.

You gasped when his fingers tugged at your underwear. You let him remove them without a hint of protest, and your lungs contracted when he dove between your legs without a word.

His mouth was heavenly, his tongue skilled as he ran it between your folds. You finally caught your breath when his nose rubbed against your clit.

“JJ, please,” you whined.

You felt him grin against you as he lifted his head just long enough to ask, “What is it, baby?”

Truthfully you didn’t know. Words failed you and that seemed to amuse him as he returned to eating you out like it was his favorite thing to do. It might’ve been, you wouldn’t put it past him.

Your hand tangled in his hair, tugging a little when the pressure began to build. He gripped your thighs in his strong, rough hands to keep them from squeezing around his head. JJ still needed to breathe, but you forgot that sometimes. He was so fucking good you didn’t even have to guide him. You just needed something to hold onto as he devoured you like a man starved.

His tongue worked magic between your legs, lapping at you in a way that had you tensing and shivering.

When your orgasm finally hit, you let out a moan of his name, thighs quivering around his head as he suckled at your clit. He didn’t even need to use his hands.

“I love it when you do that,” he complimented, voice heavy with arousal. Coming down from your high you couldn’t place him for a moment, only trying to catch your breath, but then he was above you. You smiled when you saw blue eyes and pink lips grinning down at you. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you managed, pressing up on your elbows to capture his lips. JJ sunk into you, giving you enough leverage to get him beneath you. You straddled him, your lips leaving his to say, “Your turn.”

Your legs laid across JJ’s lap as you laughed along with your friends. It was early in the morning, and you’d all decided to meet up at the Chateau to hang out for the day.

A couple weeks had passed since you and JJ told them all about your relationship. It was going better than you had hoped, which was an immense relief.

Not too long ago they couldn’t control their expressions—you’d catch the curious gazes and side eyes between them. Now, though? They hardly bat an eye when JJ reached for your hand or when you leaned on his shoulder. You tried to keep the PDA to a minimum, but it was easier said than done when JJ looked at you the way he did.

You honestly didn’t understand how you never noticed before.

Right now his hand rested on your thigh, his thumb gliding across your skin as you tried to keep up with what was being said.

“We’re still down to go to the beach, right?” Kiara looked around at everyone.

It wasn’t a particularly sunny day, but the plan had already been made and a few clouds weren’t going to hurt anyone.

“I've been needing a beach day,” you agreed, to which everyone nodded along.

John B clapped his hands onto his knees. “I’ll pack the cooler.”

Once that was done, you all loaded up in John B’s van and headed for the beach. He took the front and Kie took the passenger side, while you, JJ, and Pope hung out in the back.

JJ sat on the ground, his back against the wall. You sat between his bent legs, leaning your back against his chest. His arms locked around you, just holding you as you chatted to Kiara and John B up front.

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Pope watching you and JJ. When you looked at his face, a hint of old nervousness threatened to appear. Then you noticed the smile. Just the slightest half smile with the corner of his lip tugged up.

“You good, Pope?” you wondered.

“Yeah, just…” He shrugged. “I don’t know if I’ve said it, but I’m happy for you guys.”

His sweet words almost brought tears to your eyes, which surprised you a bit. It was the first time any one of your friends had said something like that. The verbal acceptance made your heart skip as you tilted your head back to meet JJ’s eyes. Sure enough he was looking down at you, a smile on his face.

“Thanks, man,” JJ said to the boy across from you both.

“You guys are good together,” Kiara added from the front. She turned her body in her seat to face the two of you. “I don’t think I’ve seen either of you this happy.”

As she said this, you noticed the way Pope watched her, while she seemed none the wiser. Had that been what you and JJ looked like from an outside perspective? The fact that no one suspected anything was nothing short of a miracle on his part. Things could’ve been a lot different if he had been asked too many questions at the wrong time.

You decided at that moment you wouldn’t mention anything until Pope or Kie mentioned it. It would likely be the former, it really seemed like Kiara had no clue. The thought crossed your mind that he could’ve talked to JJ, or if he hadn’t, that he should. JJ wasn’t someone anyone would think to go to for well thought out advice—he was a bit of a wildcard—but in this scenario he had been successful. It couldn’t hurt.

Although that could be saved for another time, another place. Right now you focused on what John B was saying, his head turning between the road and the back.

“Yeah, I mean, you’re not as handsome as me, but”—John B’s teasing was cut off when Kie swatted at his arm. “Hey! I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he assured quickly. You laughed while Kie shot you a wink and sat back right. JJ’s chest shook as he chuckled behind you, but his arms still tightened around your body. “Seriously though, what they said. You guys make a good couple.”

“Thank you, guys. That’s so sweet. It means a lot,” you said to the three of your friends.

“Of course.” John B threw a glance back towards JJ. “You got lucky, don’t let her go. ‘Cause she could do better.”

JJ took the taunt with a laugh. “I don’t know how she settled for me,” JJ joined in at his own expense. “But you’re not getting rid of me now.” That last part was directed at you. He rested his head on your shoulder and despite the odd angle, you managed to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Good,” you said. “‘Cause I’m not letting you go.”

The beach was in sight in a matter of moments out the window. Since it was a random weekday where the sun wasn’t all that clear, John B found a place to park his van with no problem.

You hummed in content as you and JJ walked hand in hand into the sand. You managed to lay down a towel for yourself before the light breeze kicked it up. You laid out on it with a content hum. A lazy smile spread across your face as bits of sunlight managed to beam down onto you from behind the clouds. Nothing was going to keep you from enjoying the beach. JJ took his place beside you while the others made a mad dash for the water. It was probably colder than usual, but you knew you’d get in eventually.

Comfortable silence hung in the air for a while until out of the blue JJ asked, “You remember the last time we were here?”

“It’s been a while.” You tried to recall the last time you were on this beach, but nothing specific came to mind.

The clouds moved a bit, so you shielded your eyes from the sun as you looked up at JJ. He had his knees up and leaned on them. His thoughtful expression nearly had you sitting up, but you just got comfortable, and the look in his eyes was one you came to recognize. It told you not to worry.

“You and John B were chicken fighting with Pope and Kie. And I...” JJ chuckled in spite of himself. “I was so jealous.”

You turned to lay on your back. Memories that felt like ages ago resurfaced, but they really weren’t all that distant. You recalled the chicken fight, and how you’d all gone back to that Chateau. You fell asleep on the couch talking to John B and woke up to JJ in the chair across from you. That morning filled you with just enough suspicion that you guessed something was up.

“What made you think of that?” you wondered. “‘Cause we’re back here?”

JJ shrugged. He looked out at the water, then cast his eyes down to meet yours. A light smile appeared on his lips

“I just didn’t think this was ever gonna happen. Us, I mean.” JJ let his legs fall flat and you pulled yourself to lay your head in his lap. God, you loved his smile. “But I’m really fucking happy it did.”

You grinned, unable to help yourself. “I’m really fucking happy too.”

End.

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[abrunettefangirlnerd]

If You Love Her

Prompt: You are dating Rafe after JJ cheated on you... but you're still a member of the pogues. A party and the boneyard makes tensions rise between everyone.

Rafe POV

Her head rests against Rafe’s chest as they soak up the last bit of the sun lounging on the Druthers. It has been a rare peaceful day and Rafe is thanking whatever higher power there is that she has become his saving grace. He just hates the way that it happened.

               (Y/N) is originally a pogue, but it never mattered to Rafe no matter how hard he tried to deny it. Rafe never picked on her, only her friends. She became close with Sarah after saving whatever the latest sea creature was at the time. So she had been over a few times before Sarah started dating John B. Though it was the moment she stopped hiding behind the boys and found her voice, that Rafe has never stopped listening. He has been in a trance ever since. Her fire is what drew him in, but it is (Y/N)’s heart that melted his core. The only problem, she was JJ Maybank’s girl. “Was” being the operative word.

               Rafe will never forget her tear stricken face, red eyes, and piercing sob from that night. It took everything in him to not beat that punk to a pulp. Thinking about it even now gets Rafe all riled up. He hates that she is still around JJ, she never left the group. Rafe understands they are her friends, but he doesn’t like it.

“Come on,” (Y/N) stirs, still half asleep. “You promised we would go to the party.”

“Right, the boneyard party. With the pogues.”

“Hey, I’m a pogue.” (Y/N) angles her face to look up at his with a teasing smile.

“You’re my pogue.” Rafe smiles and leans down to place a kiss on her forehead.

               Yeah she is his pogue and he wouldn’t want it any other way. Any other party he would be excited to go. He loves parties with his girl, dancing the night away and playing drinking games. Tonight will be exactly like that, except he will have to see Maybank. I wonder if him and Kie have made it official yet, Rafe wonders to himself.

Your POV

               The music can be heard from a mile away in Rafe’s truck. My arm wraps around his as his hand gently squeezes my thigh. I know he doesn’t want to be here. He is doing it for me and I love that he is willing to entertain me for a few hours. I won’t make him stay long. I want him to see that my friends can be cool, and I hope one day they can put away their bad blood and get along.

Years of pent-up anger at both groups has been baking as long as I can remember. If it wasn’t for becoming secret friends with Sarah years before she joined the group, I may have the same outlook on Rafe as the others. Can he be a jerk and annoying as hell? Yes, but he can be sweet and at times my friends can be no better. Things between the kooks and the pogues have been quiet lately, but I know Rafe has it for JJ. I can’t blame him, I did too before I accepted that JJ deciding to cheat had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. If I could have wished for anything that if JJ had to cheat, I would have chosen for him to cheat with anyone else but Kie. It makes the tension in the group that much thicker.

“Relax,” I giggle. “We’ll make an appearance. Stay an hour, two tops. Then we can go off on our own.”

               Rafe doesn’t say anything but I can see a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. His thumb lightly brushes against my skin and I sense him starting to relax a bit. I just hope that tonight ends up being drama free.

               The truck is parked and Rafe is on my side opening the door. I learned early on that I am not allowed out of the truck unless he opens my door for me. Made that mistake and he wouldn’t move from his spot till I got back in so he could do it properly. I thought it was annoying and egotistical, but now I find it sweet. JJ never did that for me when we were dating.

               There are a lot of things that Rafe does that JJ never did. Aside from the whole cheating part, JJ was a fairly good boyfriend. He looked after me, was a good cuddler, made sure I had a good time. Being with Rafe though is so different. Sure he does look after me, kind of always has. We have the best time when together and I feel so safe in his arms. I’m not worried about a pretty blonde catching his eye. He is a complete gentleman making sure I am okay, respecting boundaries, going slow, being open. Something I did not expect is for him to communicate as well as he does. I guess once he knew I wasn’t going anywhere and that his feelings don’t scare me, he trusts me enough to talk about all the crap with his dad and if he is feeling insecure. He never freaks or overreacts when I have an issue with something.

“Hey boys!” I greet John B and Pope at the keg. I notice a small release of air leave Rafe’s chest at the realization JJ isn’t around yet.

“(Y/N) what up! I miss you at the chateau.” John B goes in for a hug and Rafe lets go of my waist to accommodate. The two shake hands after John B releases me. It is a simple gesture to an outsider, but with these two it means everything. John B is practically my brother and with him dating Sarah, and Rafe dating me, they both are trying to put in an effort.

“Here you two go.” Pope hands me and Rafe cups of beer that we gladly take.

A few drinks later, we depart for a dance near the fire. The music pulsates through my veins mixed with the alcohol and a nice buzz fills my senses. Rafe loops his arms around my waist and I pair mine around his neck. We sway to our own beat, not minding the people jumping around us. We are lost in our own world and we are the only two people who exist.

               Rafe’s eyes peer into mine as we rest our foreheads against each other. His lids close and I do the same, focusing on his hold on me. Warmth swarms over my body originating from his touch. I can’t wrap it around my head that I am with Rafe Cameron and that he can make me feel like I’m on top of the world. I only hope I can make him feel the same, that is often one of my insecurities. One that Rafe knows about and tries to assure me that I am more than enough for him.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Rafe whispers in my ear and places a kiss on the tip of my nose. I swear he can read my mind.

               Before I can say anything Rafe’s touch disappears from my body. I immediately open my eyes and find the back of a blonde standing between me and my boyfriend, JJ. The alcohol has me stumbling against the sand as I land against Rafe’s arm and he steadies me before putting my frame behind his. Always my protector.

               Rafe makes his stand but waits to see what JJ plans to do first. He knows that if he threw the first punch I would be mad. All I want is peace. Except I would not ask him to hold back if JJ started it first. He promised me, and so far he has kept his promise.

“You got the money, the job, and now the girl.” JJ’s words spread through the dry air, and people are beginning to take notice of a potential scuffle. Tears sting my eyes. Why is he making it sound like it is my fault I left him?

“Well Rafe if you plan on dating (Y/N) I want to fill you in on a few things.” JJ takes a step forward and I can feel Rafe’s muscles tense beneath my hands. JJ begins to speak but his gaze falls to me. “She always has trouble falling asleep, and she likes to cuddle while under the sheets.” JJ sends a wink my way and whistles from the accumulating audience fill the air. “She loves pop songs and dancing, and bad trash TV. There’s still a few other thin-“

“She loves love notes and babies,” Rafe interrupts. “And likes giving gifts. She has a hard time accepting a good complement. She loves her whole family and all of her friends… not that they deserve it.”

               I didn’t think it was possible for the air to get thicker than it has just now. JJ’s drunk eyes danced over me until Rafe unexpectedly interrupted. Both of our eyes cling to Rafe as he spoke but for two different reasons. My heart skips as Rafe reaches to grab my hand and gives it a light squeeze. I had no clue JJ was going to do something like this, but I am even more surprised at the fact Rafe has been paying attention this well. He continues to amaze me and all I want to do is kiss him.

“When she gives me her heart completely, I won’t break it like you did. (Y/N) is safe with me. I’ll stand by her side instead of sneaking off behind her back.” Rafe stares JJ down a few moments more before turning towards me.

His hands cup my cheeks and looks into my eyes silently asking if I’m okay. I nod to answer him and bring my hands up to rest against his wrists. Rafe places a soft but protective kiss against my forehead and whispers for us to go. Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, he pulls me in close and nods his head toward a stunned John B.

The walk to the car is silent. Rafe opens my door for me and waits for me to climb in before closing it. He quickly joins me in the driver’s seat but doesn’t start the car. Instead he turns towards me, he eyes furrowed as he contemplates what he is going to say.

“I’m sorry if I over stepped.” Rafe’s voice is a whisper. “I know you can handle yourself, but I couldn’t let him do that. Act like he still has claim over you, that he is the only one who can know you.”

“Hey, hey it’s okay. You did everything right.” I lean over and let my hand cup his cheek, bringing his gaze back to mine.

“I meant everything I said.” His beautiful orbs pierce mine. “I want you to know that. I’m in it for the long game. I love you (Y/N).”

               His voice cracks and I can tell how scared he is to say that last part. We’ve only been dating a month but we have known each other for years. Staying the night with Sarah has usually ended up with late night talks with Rafe after she fell asleep. We are the unlikely duo but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I trust you.” I say and my face heats up with my smile. “I love you, Rafe.”

               It takes a moment for the words to register in Rafe’s ears but once they do pure shock and adoration quickly take over his features. He leans in and gifts me with a soft but passionate kiss. All his love and vulnerability is wrapped in every movement he makes with me and I can already tell this is forever.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 22

@javelinbk I’ve got another one for your “Paul McCartney doesn’t touch other men” compilation.

They’re really just going to keep goofing off with each other until the bitter end, aren’t they?

Who is this?? She’s gorgeous and I’m obsessed with her eye makeup.

I wonder if there’s a *reason* John broke randomly into “Run for your Life”. I’d actually feel better about that song if it was secretly about Paul, though I'd never considered it.

That face!

I’d actually love to know what Ringo and Billy were talking about that prompted that hug, though! I’m sure it must’ve been just so cute!

John saying “Okay Jim” to Paul. Reminds me  of that quarrymen story where John called Paul that. Such an awkward nick-name, considering John hated Jim. Like I know Paul’s first name is James and all, but it’s just weird. I wonder if he called him that often and why and how Paul felt about it.

It’s physically impossible for two people to actually love each other that much and break up. I just. It’s not real. I can’t process it. 

The fact that Paul wore a suit again, though, and plays standing. An example of Paul doing what makes him feel good whether it’s cool or not. He feels professional and put together in a suit and standing for the “performance” of these softer songs, so that’s what he’s going to do. I guess Ringo’s in a suit too, and tie. I just didn’t catch it at first because his tie and shirt are such a fun purple. 

John focused on Paul for the entire song of “Two of Us” and Paul very purposely avoiding eye-contact. It’s like a much less painful, but still awful, reverse version of the strawberry fields moment. 

The silly fake German. Paul’s “Ein Schwein, fille naught rhine.” Reminds me of John’s “Un. Du. Ein schwein hickle pickle” in front of “I Don’t Wanna Face It” which also used a very similar riff to “coming up”. IDK they’re just always talking. Always logging away every little eyelash flutter. Every meaningless thing means something with John and Paul. I know. I realize I’m fully certifiable. 

“Are we supposed to giggle in the solo?” “Yeah.” 

Paul’s just purposely ruined what’s probably like the five-hundredth take of Let it Be with his drunk uncle voice, and this is George. No matter how much he might want to stay annoyed at them, he never can. 

I wonder when exactly John goes from “I think that was rather grand. I’d take one home with me.” on Let it Be to, “Yeah, he was just trying to write another bridge over troubled water. Could’ve been Wings.” When exactly did the meaning (dead mom says not to fight for your relationships) sink in that made him hate the song?

I love that we end on Paul saying, “we’ll do one more.” I love that there’s never a tied-up, clean-cut ending for the Beatles. There’s always a “Her Majesty” tacked on after “The End” to leave room to continue on. 

[sleepyfireball]

I love Season 3 of Bridgerton so much (Part 2)

I loved Colin and Penelope's story. The Lady Whistledown reveal, the angst, oh, it was perfection. I thought the mirror scene was immaculate and just nailed their friends-to-lovers vibe perfectly. Also, Colin asking for consent at each step is so hot, but we digress. The whole of part 2 had me stressing, with all the Whistledown angst, but I did desperately enjoy the fact that despite how angry Colin was, there was never any doubting his love for Penelope, like they got married and he stroked her fac during their wedding dance (which was another wonderful scene) while he was still upset. This is true Colin 'My Wife' Bridgerton behaviour. Luke Newton and Nicola Coughlan did amazingly well in their roles, particularly in the most heated and emotional moments. Penelope was wonderful as well, the fact that she was willing to give up Whistledown was so important, but the way it ended, with her not having to give it up was even better, in my opinion. It helps the show maintain its natural dynamic with the narrator in Julie Andrews, while neatly bringing the Whistledown storyline to a close. Also, the ending, with Polin's son inheriting the Featherington estate has pulled that storyline to a close as well, with the Featheringtons properly secured. I enjoyed the growth that both Colin and Penelope went through in Part 2 and it felt like a natural continuation from Part 1, although Debling did just kinda vanish.

Speaking of disappearing suitors, Lord Samadani also vanished after Part 1. I think this was able to happen because Queen Charlotte became so entangled with Whistledown, she stopped caring about the Season and the Diamond, otherwise she may have tried to push Lord Samadani at Francesca a little more. Francesca and John were just beautiful in Part 2, their engagement and wedding was sweet and low-key and fit them both perfectly. I was pleased to see that Francesca flourished with John and she in turn, was able to help him become a little more comfortable among her chaotic family. Francesca is also my bi-icon. I will love her forever. The definition of Gay Panic when Michaela Stirling walks in. I do like that Francesca teaches Violet that love does not always have to be exactly as she experienced it, and Violet explains how she fell in love, which we see happen for Francesca when Michaela walks in. I think Francesca is still in love with and happy with John, she's just had her bi-awakening and does not know what to do about it.

Speaking of bi-icons, Benedict Bridgerton has finally, properly entered the ring after 2.5 seasons of humming and harring. While I was not the biggest fan of the fact that it was introduced via a threesome that just kept popping up between heartfelt or emotional scenes, I am glad the writers committed to it, even though when push came to shove, Benedict avoided the commitment and ran away, again. I think his season is next due to his chats with Eloise right at the end of the season (swing chats, my beloved).

Eloise did well in Part 2. Her anger was mostly as a protection for Colin and I was pleased to see her mature and grow into an adult. She and Penelope had some beautiful growth, with Eloise learning that while Whistledown was not necessarily kindly written, it did not lie and Penelope had tried warning Eloise multiple times about hanging around Theo. Penelope also had growth in being willing to give up Whistledown which I think helped Eloise's understanding significantly and also with her promise to write more carefully in the future. I was so pleased to see the two of them being friends again. I had missed them. I also think that a trip to Scotland will help Eloise expand her horizons, possibly allowing her to understand the ton a little more as well, preparing her for her story in Season 5 I hope. I do however think that Eloise's treatment of Cressida was a little callous, but she can't win them all.

Cressida is an interesting one. Personally I am still not her greatest fan, however, seeing why she was so desperate to escape did bring motive to her claiming Whistledown's identity, even if it was not the most well thought out plan. Jessica Madsen did an excellent job with providing depth and clarity to Cressida's story and I will be at least a little interested to see where it goes from here. Also, reading what the Cowpers thought of the Bridgertons was truly shocking (and hilarious) and you can see that Cressida's mean girl persona comes from her mum, solidified by her dad's pressure.

Queen Charlotte did exceptionally well for me this season. I could truly feel the power she weilds and how dangerous it would be to go up against her so blatantly as Whistledown had. I did appreciate Lady Danbury basically telling QC that her life would become infinitely more boring if she were to truly put an end to Whistledown and Brimsley with QC is an unstoppable duo, particularly after QC:ABS.

Lady Danbury, another highlight of the season. Her scenes with Marcus Anderson and with Violet are among some of my favourite in the whole show and I'm gonna use another post to talk about Violet and Marcus and Agatha, because this post is ridiculously long and I could talk about this particular plot for days. I was pleased to see Agatha helping the Mondrichs get settled and happy to know that she had suspected Penelope was Lady Whistledown. It makes sense, as she is the most perceptive in the ton. I was a little upset that we didn't get to see much of Polin and Lady Danbury interacting, but I can see why. It almost felt more powerful for it to just be them trying to figure out their problems together.

The Mondrichs. I enjoyed their story, it was good, nice to see them get settled into society once and for all. It felt like a natural conclusion from the three season with them hosting a successful ball for the season.

The Featheringtons, I will admit, they impressed me. Their ball was a success, and their comedic timing was immaculate once more. Seeing the development that Penelope and Portia went through was excellent and very much needed for Penelope to have a healthy relationship with Portia. I enjoyed that Portia stayed true to her word and stuck by Penelope during the LW reveal etc. But I was also amazed by Colin's speech when Portia was insulting Penelope in Ep5, because those assumptions were rude and insulting to Penelope and to Colin and she needed to be brought down a few pegs in order to develop properly. It was also nice to see the three sisters getting along, to an extent, in the final scene. I also though that Violet and Portia were excellent together. Props to Ruth Gemmell and Polly Walker for somehow managing to infuse so much awkwardness into the 5 minutes they shared on screen, simple and pure comedy, I loved it. Also pleased to see that the Featherington boys continue to be Husbands first and men second.

Also Kanthony was nice, glad to see them helping Colin out. Violet really brought in the heavy artillery for her fighting newly-weds. Also pleased to see Kate take on the older sister role and Anthony literally being the most besotted man on the planet.

Gregory and Hyacinth were also excellent. I feel like the sibling scenes really thrived in part 2.

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 27

holy shit Pash is Wake’s niece?? and thus Gideon’s cousin?? this family tree (and honestly everyone in it) is unhinged. having a cousin who is both undead and also the kid of a guy she absolutely hates feels like it’s Pash’s worst nightmare coming true. this is probably the world’s second shittiest family reunion, bar the murder tea party at the end of HtN

Wake’s whole photo with Pash shows that she had a sentimental side beyond what she had going on with G1deon/Pyrrha i guess. rip Pyrrha, the only person she can reminisce with about the woman she loved is Pash, who just completely hates Pyrrha’s guts. fun!

the whole thing with young!Pash smiling while holding a gun is a little sweet that Wake seems to have cared an awful lot about her family, but also a pretty disturbing look at what it would be like to grow up in BoE, and why exactly Pash is so militaristic and dedicated to BoE’s cause

oh shit is the truck getting bombed? which reminds me we haven’t had a John chapter in quite a while

oh no, its worse than a bomb its Heralds from the RB. given Gideon was only really able to fight them at the end of HtN because she was in Harrow’s body and thus functionally immortal and kept regenerating, pretty much only Nona and Pyrrha stand any chance here 

okayy interesting tidbit of information from Pyrrha’s small speech here, which is that she seems to know/remember Gideon’s first name, from pre the Resurrection? makes me wonder that if she does remember stuff from before, if she’s going to ever give an account of events that contradicts the stuff John’s been saying in his chapters. Pyrrha Dve woman of mystery, the more i learn about her past the wilder it gets

i just adore that Nona’s first response to the RB here is to yell at the top of her lungs ‘you said you wouldn’t do anything weird!’ truly channelling Isaac and Jeannemary’s teenage embarrassment to new levels

i love that Nona’s copying what Cam says to her to try and calm down the RB. top 10 tips on how to negotiate with the vengeful ghost of a dead planet: use Camilla Hect’s emotional advice 

oh some very interesting stuff being said by the RB through Judith here. specifically that ‘the danger is upon you, and you do not even know … they are coming out of their tower, salt thing’. towers have been mentioned a couple times now, with Gideon and Ianthe being named the Tower Princes (probably by John) - with the turret image being on Chapter 16, where they first appeared on the broadcast - and the tower in the hidden message. all in all it doesn’t seem to spell anything good

also Nona in this chapter is just wonderful. i mean Nona’s always wonderful, but i especially love this moment where she grabs the sword despite not knowing how to use it, and her determination to confront the RB

given Nona’s declaration that she knows full well she’s not Harrowhark, and that the RB addresses Nona as the ‘Green-and-breathing thing’ and asks what a mysterious ‘he’ did to her, i feel very sure at this point that she’s Alecto’s soul. though you never know with this series, i’ve been blindsided too often by reveals to be certain of anything 

[marstonsboy]

jack marston

yeah. (yap incoming)

there’s something to be said, i think, about the fact that jack goes from a sixteen-year-old that can barely use a gun to the level of skill we see him have at nineteen. in order to have improved that much in the span of three years, he had to have been practicing a lot. he can draw his gun faster than a (presumably) highly trained former government agent and proves himself dangerously capable almost immediately— i’d go as far as to say he’s on par with john and arthur.

so, evidently, he had to have been practicing during those years after john’s death and before abigail’s. whether or not he was doing this in preparation to kill edgar ross or for the sake of protecting his mother after the attack on beecher’s hope is something i wonder about, but right now i’m more interested in the fact that, regardless of how long he’d been planning his revenge, jack doesn’t go after ross until after abigail dies.

i have no doubt in my mind that he knew killing ross wouldn’t solve anything. he knows that his dad hunted down micah bell, and all it did was get him killed in the end. he also had to know that his parents did everything they could to prevent him from going down this path, so he likely waited until after abigail passed because he didn’t want her to see him become a killer.

part of me thinks that revenge wasn’t his only motivation, though. jack at the end of red dead one’s story is pretty openly suicidal, regardless of your honor level. low honor jack is a bit sadistic, but makes it clear through self-loathing comments that he hates what he’s become. high honor jack also expresses his self-hatred at several points, and during combat can occasionally yell out that he has “nothing to live for” while goading his enemies.

so, jack marston, nineteen years old, having lost uncle, his father, and his mother in such a short span of time, going out and doing exactly what got his father killed? i sincerely think that part of his motivation for being an outlaw is hoping that it’ll get him killed sooner. this life killed just about all the family he had, and he doesn’t have anyone left. even if he expresses disgust with himself for turning out like this, he isn’t going to stop with his self destructive actions anytime soon.

considering he gunned down an ex-government agent in an illegal duel, and said agent’s family (if left alive) could identify him, i doubt he wouldn’t already have a price on his head. plus, y’know, it doesn’t take a detective to come to the logical conclusion that john marston’s son is the one that did it.

so maybe it wasn’t just that he didn’t want his mom to see him become everything she tried to protect him from. maybe it was also that he didn’t want her to have to lose him too.

[http-paprika]

There Was Something Here Once and it lingers in the air

small town au / call of duty x female reader / taglist open / wc 2030 / warnings light swearing / no use of y/n / ship not yet decided / no beta, my grammarly hates me

making a place for herself in aberdeen is not without its struggles, and not without more problems.

She tugged at her light cardigan, glancing over at the fan that sat in the corner of the diner and questioning why they even needed it with how cold it was outside. A blank document sits open on the screen of her laptop, a promise to try to write daily failing miserably as she spent her lunch break away from the small public library. The waitress walks up, refilling her cup of coffee again and glancing at the club sandwich that’d gone untouched before hurrying away to attend to the other patrons. Mostly loggers finishing a shift and grabbing a bite, all dressed in worn down workwear, a contrast to the suits and ties she used to see on her lunch breaks before. 

In the corner of the diner, the doorbell rings as a new customer walks in. She glances down at her keyboard again, willing her hands to move. Hadn’t she been dreaming, talking, and wanting to write this novel since she was a girl? How many years in the making had she been plotting it up through tedious university lectures just for the actual act to be daunting, intimidating her with the idea of failing. 

“Oh, hello again.” The steady voice of the tow truck driver lilts through her ears, she perks her head up to look at Johnny. He’s still in his blue coveralls, but there’s a new, noticeable oil stain on the front pocket. “Never seen you in here before, mind if I join ya?”

“No, yes. I’m sorry, I’m just all over the place today.” She sighs at the admittance as Johnny sits down across from her in the booth. He grins at the waitress when she brings by a menu, greeting him by name. In a small town like this, she was sure it wouldn’t be long before everyone knew her name, and she theirs. Though, names had never been a strong suite of hers. 

“Yeah? What are ya doing on there?” He asks, nodding to her laptop and her face burns in embarrassment. She did not like to talk about her writing, there was something so private about it that opening up was like if she were to be completely exposed in the diner. Mortifying. 

“Work.” 

“Work?” 

“Yeah.” She nods in seriousness, trying to convince him that’s what it is. But Johnny doesn’t look convinced, a grin on his face as he smiles. 

“That’s the same excuse I tell John when I’m sitting on my ass.” He winks at her and that burning from earlier reappears. “Don’t worry, I won’t keep asking. If it’s private, it’s private. But, I am curious, what does a librarian exactly do? It can’t all just be checking in and out books, can it?”

“Well, um,” She blinks, trying to collect herself and find the right answer for her lunch partner. “Stuff.” 

“Stuff?” 

She nods at Johnny, swallowing the realization of how pitiful she is in conversations. Always had been since she was a girl, it made her and her father alike. Much to the disappointment of her mother. 

“I’ll have to come visit soon then and see you do… stuff.” Johnny decides with a boldness in his voice. And when the waitress comes to take his order, she realizes that that’s the way Johnny is. Bold, proud, and bright like the sun. It’s a wonder he chose to stay in this town, should he have spread his wings out anywhere else, he would’ve been a star. 

“Okay.” She says, her voice sheepish and low. A glance at her watch causes panic to hitch as she realizes her lunch break is about to end and she needs to hurry back. “I’m sorry, I hate to be poor company but I have to go.” Fishing through her tote, she sets down enough money for her meal and coffee. She takes another swig of the caffeinated beverage before shoving her laptop back into the bag.

“Don’t worry about it, you do what you need to do.” He assures her with another warm smile, she nods back slowly before the panic hits again, the bell in the nearby church steeple ringing loudly to signal the changing of the hour. 

Out of the diner, across the little square that marks the downtown of Aberdeen, her loafers dig into the muddy grass. Her breath comes out into little huffs as she hurries back into the tiny public library. The door whines on its hinges from the force she applies to yanking it open. She winced in fear that it would fall right off, but it slams behind her causing her to jump out of her skin. Claire, her older coworker, sits at the circulation desk and quirks a brow up at her, the thin-rimmed glasses she always wore perched on her pointed face. There was a similarity to a crow that she couldn’t strike down, the way Claire was always watching from those beady, black eyes left her uneasy. 

“Sorry.” She mutters, bowing her head whilst walking behind the circulation desk to her tiny cubby. It wasn’t much smaller than the one she’d had before, one little plant dying in a plastic pot, the postcard Beau had sent her, and one of those cheese motivational cat posters that a coworker from her last job had given her when she left. There’d never been much to her name, she didn’t have much growing up and never felt the need to want more than she needed. So, besides the boxes of books waiting to be unpacked in her cottage, clutter wasn’t something she acquired. 

“Enjoy your lunch?” Claire asks, walking up to her desk with a box of books from a different library in the same system. It settles on her desk with a thud, and she can feel the heaviness in Claire’s gaze. Her punctuality when it came to time today was not the greatest, first with the car slowing her down and now this. 

“Yes, sorry I was running behind. Today’s just one of those days.” She sheepishly responds, hoping Claire could spare a sliver of sympathy towards her. Hasn't she ever run late before? 

“Mmm.” The elderly woman draws her mouth into a thin line, her hands resting on her bony hips. “Those are the interlibrary loans, they need to be sorted.” 

“Of course. I’ll get to those right away.” She nods, hoping the old crow would leave her alone. 

After giving her a dirty look for long enough, the door to the library opens again and Claire’s attention is quickly drawn away to greet the patron. Grumbling, she opened the box, sifting through the different books. A stack was quickly formed for one patron, and an appreciation formed for someone she didn’t even know. Whoever they were, she was certain that they were responsible for keeping the tiny library open. 

She glances up from the assortment of books, looking over at the circulation desk where Claire was helping a young mother check out various picture books. From the few days she’d worked, the conclusion had been drawn up that only the elderly or young mothers stepped foot inside the stuffy building. She’d yet to see anyone that fit the description of loggers and frowned, they were a key demographic in Aberdeen but couldn’t be bothered to read. Back in the city, she’d done so many outreach programs to try and engage with members of the community that weren’t represented in the library. Perhaps that needed to be done here. 

“Claire?” She asks gingerly, stepping up to the circulation desk once the patron has left. 

Claire glances up at her, carefully pulling off the wired glasses and cleaning them up. “Can I help you?” 

“Well, I was just curious about our patrons.” She wished Rosemary or Clint, the other two people who held positions at this branch, were there for her to speak with. But they were out doing god knows what, and the question continued to persist in her mind. A determination to fix a situation had always been one of the few things she stood out for. 

“What about our patrons?” Claire sets the glasses back on the bridge of her thin nose, evidently not interested in whatever tangent she was about to embark on. 

“Do the loggers not come in very often? I’ve only ever seen one or two.” She says, voicing her thoughts. “Should there not be something done to try and bring more of them in?” 

“That’s not for you to worry about.” The response is sharp, almost painful with how Claire says it. Like somehow she’d suggested a foolish idea, one that would’ve been better never said aloud. “That’s Clint’s job. Focus on your work.” 

Dejected, she nods and returns to her desk, trying hard not to look over at Claire again. The crow had only grown meaner with any interaction she tried to strike up. What she’d done to deserve the reaction was outside of her knowledge. After all, she was a competent enough librarian if nothing else. 

“Do you ever visit the library on your own?” She asks Johnny, sitting in the small office of the auto shop to finally speak with John about her car. A poor attempt to keep herself from worrying about the state of the vehicle, she needed a running one. 

A flush of embarrassment crosses Johnny’s face and thinking back to the conversation they’d briefly had in the diner, the answer is clear. “No, uh, not since I was younger. I’m usually not downtown, don’t even think about it and definitely don’t read as much as I should.” 

She nods, not passing judgment towards his words. It was understandable, so many people tended to neglect the library, not even considering the public service. 

“What would change that?” 

Chewing the inside of her cheek, she tilts her head to watch as he thinks. Johnny fumbles with his hands, trying to decide on an answer that isn’t seen as offensive. She’d asked the question to hundreds of different people in an attempt to connect with the community. No one ever seemed to be able to give her a satisfying answer for change. 

“Well, to put it simply, the car’s fucked.” John states, stepping into the office and running a hand over his mutton chop beard. A hard day of work is visible in his stance, he slouches against the desk as he takes the time to explain the issues the car had. In his words, he was supposed it had run as long as it had with all the underlying issues she’d failed to notice in her haste to pack up and move on. “Probably be cheaper to look at selling it for parts and buying a new, well, used one.” 

She slumps in her chair, trying hard not to bury her face in her hands. Cars were expensive, even used cars. Moving wasn’t cheap either, she’d already spent what little money her grandmother had left her to help with the house note. Where was she going to scrape together the money for any sort of running car? 

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” Johnny tries to console her, putting a hand on her back as she drops her head. “I’m sure something will come around, right John?” 

The older man doesn’t say anything, lost in thought as she mutters to herself over financial stress. Wasn’t moving to Aberdeen supposed to make her life easier? Small town living sounded so idyllic until reality sinks in, problems hit. At least in the city, she had access to buses, even if they weren’t the cleanest and meant waking up much earlier than she would’ve liked to get to work on time. Here, she was reliant on whatever goodwill the people of Aberdeen had. And she wasn’t expecting much more after the grace shown to her that morning. 

“Right, John?” Johnny asks again, looking at his boss with annoyance. 

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” John continues to run his hand over his beard, clearly absent from the conversation at hand. His behavior causes her to finally sit back up and blink, confused as to what exactly was happening. “There might be someone I know who could help your situation.”

[sea-owl]

You know I was reading up on inheritance laws for different parts of the world back in older times and this thought kinda got into my head.

So we know the whole "boy moms" things and sons being heavily favored even in more progressive countries to this day. A part of me wonders if that is some sort of leftover survival instinct. (Bad word for it but it's the closest I can think of at this moment) It wasn't that long ago that a women couldn't really do anything or even have a bank account without her husband okaying. And even farther back, when it was extremely difficult for a woman to inheirt anything, if she could at all, they had pray for the mercy of their sons to take care of them after death of their husbands.

Jane Austen wrote about this issue in several of her works. In Sense and Sensibility Henry Dashwood made his son John Dashwood promise to take care of his sisters and stepmother after his death. John does promise this but then easily let's his wife Mrs. Dashwood talk him out of it and basically give his sisters the very bare minimum. The Dashwood sisters actually had to rely on a distant relative because their brother broke his promise. Now Mrs. Dashwood frames it to her husband like hey why would you take this money away from your son. A part of me wonders though if she was also trying to secure herself too for if she outlives her husband.

This issue also comes up again in Pride and Prejudice with Mrs. Bennett worrying for her daughters because Mr. Bennett has greatly shown he does not really care about the future after he's gone, hell he hasnt even bithered to look to who his estate will go to when he passes. He has of age daughters that he should he taking to London or higher populated areas to give them better odds of marrying and marrying well. But he doesn't like the city so they stay in the country and thankfully they got lucky that Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy ended up rolling into town. I also don't remember exactly how this went but Mr. Bennett also was not really setting anything aside for his daughters dowieries and instead was relying on Mrs. Bennett's dowery for that. Mrs. Bennett's dowery wasn't much either when divided among all the girls especially considering she married up when she married Mr. Bennett. Compared to Mr. Darcy who is properly taking care of his female relatives and even Lizzie's. Mr. Darcy did more for the search for Lydia then Mr. Bennett, Lydia's father!

Another example is in Bridgerton. Lord and Lady Featherington are in my opinion Mr and Mrs. Bennett coded except now we are seeing what happens when Mr. Bennett/Lord Featherington dies and have done nothing to help his daughters. The whole Featherington family was stressed about the new lord because they had no idea of what he would do to them. He very easily could have kicked them out onto the street and left them with nothing. Then he turns out to be a scam artist who only cares for himself. I don't blame Portia for getting those fake documents, but back to the son thing even in those documents it is spefically stated that the firstborn grandson would become the new lord. Still putting the Featherington sisters and Portia herself at the mercy of a male relative. Because while women could inheirt, although a difficult process and often if she was married it would fall into her husband's hands until 1870, estates that were tied to a title had to be inherited by a male relative.

So that's kinda why I'm wondering if this is why the whole boy preference still exists because women's survival not too long ago very much relyed on the mercy of their male relatives.

[minalblood]

The Winchesters 1x13 Review

Let’s just dive into this, it’s been a looong time coming:

-I completely forgot that John had had no idea what to do until he got the letter. I wonder if this is something that may have happened in OG SPN? Also, adding to this, we know that when Henry leaves in SPN, the Winchesters are still in Illinois, but in TW they are already moved. I want to know if there is a thread that matches the OG universe and if so when exactly it diverges. Like, did SPN!John have this feeling of complete loss of purpose when he returned from war? We have some hints to tell us yes, but ultimately we don’t know. Did SPN!John know Murphy? Did Murphy die/was his death impactful to John in SPN as it is in TW? I wish we had a bit more details about the similarities and differences in the universes.

-The fact that TW!John called Dean “sir” hurt me as much as it hurt Dean. You can see the pain. I also want to know how Dean left so quickly. Like suspension of disbelief is fine, but considering we have pictures of him in 1970s Lawrence in his car going place to place makes me think he’s at least somewhat constrained to physicality. So did he just dash? Also how did he get upstairs so quick also? So maybe he isn’t as constrained as I was picturing?

-Speaking of, how did Dean get that letter? I may be misremembering things here cuz it’s been a while since ep 1, but I always assumed that Dean would’ve gotten it from the MOL clubhouse prior to him deciding to interfere right? Is did we ever get this answer? If so though, I want to know how long Dean’s been in TW universe because it’s much longer than I remembered it being and how long did he ponder whether to interact with one of his folks? 

-I fully believe Dean lied about the “one last hunt” to Bobby. There are reasons for this and I will mention it a bit later, but for now I want to mention that he can keep this promise and claim a loophole if he so chooses. He hadn’t left Heaven to hunt, he went searching for something personal and stumbled upon the Akrida. He’s still Dean Winchester, there was no way he’d be able to walk away and not at least try to help, nevermind the Akrida showing up because he and Sam defeated Chuck and he’d likely feel even more responsibility.

-I know this ep is coming full circle on all of aur characters growth, but I need to shout out Samuel here for asking Mary and actually backing away once she clarifies her own uncertainty despite his clear shock. The Samuel we met in the beginning of this wouldn’t have stopped until this devolved into a huge fight because Mary isn’t doing what he wants from her. Same to Millie, she just subtly prompted John about Mary leaving hunting and how he’s dealing without badgering or pushing. I also deeply appreciate both Samuel and Millie here inquiring about their kids’ emotional states, great progress. 

-Joan mention! I cannot wait to get into this once she shows up fully.

-And speaking of growth of characters, I also love that for all we see everyone having evolved and developed, they are still to some degree who we met: case in point Mary’s knee jerk reaction if to withhold information. She ends up not really doing this, even trying to have a proper conversation with John later, but her reflex is still to withhold. It’s just that now she’s aware enough that she’ll change her approach.

-Adore the foreshadowing for the Akrida’s defeat “anything not of this Earth”. Especially with the sheer focus on Dean from both in-universe from the Scoobies and out of universe from the fans. 

-Speaking of things I love though, can we just give a full round of applause for Ada not lying and keeping the secret about the spell from everyone? How many times has stuff exactly like this led to worse outcomes exactly because people didn’t communicate? And what’s more, it’s exactly because she mentions this that Lata gets a head start into a solution (second round of applause for this, especially since it’s so rare that we get actual contingencies set up before the really risky move is executed rather than scrambling for a patch work after the fact) and they don't end up using the spell until it’s really unavoidable which leads to the third round of applause for Carlos who prevents Ada from preemptively using the spell (hello direct answer to Jack turning himself into a bomb for Chuck and the plan derailing completely cuz they jumped the shark with it).

-Something to note though: souls function differently in TW apparently. In SPN the closest similar spell we have to what Ada has is Lily Sunder’s angelic magic which also uses fragments of soul as fuel, however unlike SPN where Lily burns piece by piece but ultimately still has the remaining soul after the spells, in TW they clarify that Ada’s soul will slowly dissipate if they take a fragment of it. It's so interesting to see the difference. I wonder why? Maybe souls evolved differently here, maybe the spell, by virtue of being one of Rowena’s (be it her own making a la soul bomb to kill Amara and save the sun or Book of the Damned bomb using your own life as sacrifice to close hell) makes it act differently? I really want to know. 

-The bar being filled with Akrida possessed people is such a call back to the demon filled bars of SPN days and I love it.

-I do think that Joan knowing Dean couldn't interfere too much/make waves is very interesting. Especially since the Akrida are a Chuck designed failsafe.

-Also how did they get him into the portal? I need to know. 

-Joan saying “his body will be torn to shreds for centuries” is doing multiple things for me. One, it’s recalling hell - especially having it be connected to Dean in pain for an extended period. Two, it’s giving us a hint of how Dean will survive while maintaining the stakes for the Scoobies (and to some degree for us since at this point on a 1st run through since we didn’t know how the portal would interact with Dean - dead or not he had a body that could be interacted with).

-“I’m not Akrida. I was human once” is sooo much fun to consider. Joan is very much this amalgamation of so many things, her former humanity, her ties to the Akrida and all that monster essence, and she’s essentially done it to herself, created Frankenstein’s monster outta Frankenstein. No wonder it went off the rails. She and Cuthbert Sinclair are two sides of a coin for me to be honest in this regard.

-It’s also here at the bar that Joan’s main strategy for dealing with the Scoobies gets shown, trying to appeal to the versions of them she has info on. Something that to be honest would’ve worked at the beginning of the season, even maybe halfway through the season might’ve worked. She tries with Samuel first, bringing up the hunting legacy of her family, then with Mary and John. Then when she gets to the clubhouse she goes for Lata, and in the final fight she once more hits John, Samuel and now Carlos. And she clearly pushes very specific trauma triggers for each, focusing most on John’s anger and Mary’s disillusionment with hunting because I think those are the ones she most relates to. Meanwhile with Lata and Carlos she almost pushes opposite by trying to point out how their changes are detrimental. By this I mean, with Mary and John she’s trying to reignite those feelings in them because she can tell they are still there to some degree (as mentioned they’ve both grown but still have a while to go) meanwhile for Lata and Carlos their growth was more foundational since they actively tried to heal versus Mary and John’s pushback against the healing. I hope this makes sense to y’all.

-Having Joan’s motivation be keeping hunters alive initially is so much fun to dig into. Everything she says to them about why she’s doing what she’s doing is something we’ve heard people talk about before, especially in SPN, especially Dean tbh. We’ve seen Dean struggle with the endless loss, with the weight of the responsibility to keep humanity safe, the toll saving the world took on him. Having Joan act as this dark mirror was a great choice. But also Dean would have never reached this point. Even at his darkest moments, he always drew a clear line about what he’s willing to sacrifice - yes, he also never had to deal with the loss of literally everyone everyone, there was always at least one thread, one person, but still. 

-Lata fighting against the Akrida possessing her? Absolute queen behavior! Love her so much. Also Joan reducing her choice to be a pacifist as a black or white thing is very in line with what I was trying to say above. I can exemplify better here though so bare with me. Lata’s pacifism is both a very personal choice that means a lot to her and gives her personal meaning, is a part of her values. But it also used to be a literal blockage for her before ep 11 where any type of violence coming from her side reminded her of her father especially and of that trauma. More specifically, Lata also felt she had to be a pacifist otherwise she would be exactly like her abusive father. Ep 11 had her confronting her trauma and coming to terms with it, something she was already trying bit by bit to do, and re-evaluate what pacifism means to her. So Joan trying to reduce Lata attacking her to say that hunting has tainted Lata, is to completely ignore the complexity of Lata’s choice to be a pacifist and to ignore the very complicated relationship that Lata has to fighting. In this instance, Lata choosing to fight is a testament of how rooted in her sense of self she has become. She can fight back and not feel the guilt she used to, not feel like it’s a failure on her side to do so because anger and fighting do have a purpose and are important sometimes - like when your life is being threatened. 

-Having Joan’s lover be the final thing that got her down the path of destruction is absolutely a choice on the writer’s side that I adore - definitely tying into the SPN!John of it all. I also find it interesting from another perspective. When I 1st watched the bar scene, Joan’s like of “that’s the John I know” had settled into my brain very differently to the point that I was almost certain they were going to reveal that Joan is actually another version of Mary a la Apocalypse world Mary who lost both her family and John, but much earlier. Basically, Joan is continuously this amalgamation of multiple things at once, the worst parts of each.

-Humanity wasting their second chance speech is giving Jigsaw to me tbh. I vibe.

-I love them figuring out that they can use the journal to bring Dean back, but imagine the version of this story where unsteady they use the journal to defeat Joan. It would’ve been hilarious.

-Love that the one Akrida that has had it out for John especially is the one possessing Lata btw. It makes the vitriol feel more personal and makes me think of both the Leviathan’s who hated playing Sam and Dean and of the disdain Lucifer has for humanity, but especially the Winchester brothers. I love this being another creature who is so pissed to deal with Winchester adjacent people that it’s begun just personally having a vendetta against all of Earth. 

-“How many Campbells and Winchesters have to die” goes so unbelievably hard. Especially in the finale of the show now rewatching, but even on 1st watch I remember being hit right in the heart by that line. It’s the fact that I actually completely understand that reasoning and even agree with it that makes the Akrida and Joan especially so fascinating to me. She does have a point is the thing, especially considering the very personal interest God has had in the Campbells and Winchesters bloodlines. And following this up by talking about how history and legacy are playing a heavy role in this continuous suffering is also fantastic, because it is true, but it’s not the whole picture either. It’s not the only legacy and history the Campbells and Winchesters have to tell.

-And once again Chuck had done what he does best: created another world ending being that he then locked away to ensure the world doesn’t get destroyed ahead of time. He did this with Amara, Lucifer, the Leviathans, the Shedim, angels and demons getting thrown in the Empty counts too, the monsters being thrown in Purgatory also falls under this pattern of behavior. He really is a one trick pony on every level.

-Adore that Ada didn’t even hesitate to use the spell to save Lata. And even more love for the fact that everyone is sharing info so they can make a plan together, no one going off on their own like a moron, god the satisfaction of seeing this is unmatched.

-Cutting off Mary before she can say anything to John as they’re saying goodbye essentially, after he more or less poured his heart out? A choice on the writers part that I wholeheartedly agree with. Love the implications here.

-I also adore that it’s a swordfight. This show has gone out of its way to ensure minimal gun use and I think it was a great choice. Also love that all three of them, Samuel, John and Carlos get attacked at once by at least 2 Akrida. 

-BABY!!! (this was the only reaction needed here - just BABY!!!)

-I wonder if Josie existed in this universe? Like did Joan just get rid of the MOL before Henry and Josie went to the church and meet Abaddon? Does Abaddon just not exist in this timeline? Did Henry even try to do field work in this universe? I have questions!

-Dean saving Mary will never not make me emotional ok? That’s what he’s wanted since he was 4! 

-I also love that we have the most roundabout way of referencing Sam here. I will go into more detail why I especially love it, but just know I do.

-I do hate though that Dean still looks surprised that he got into Heaven and the reminder that he’s dead. I hate remembering that 15x20 is a thing that happened still. 

-Living for Dean instantly jail-breaking Heaven though and then basically breaking his parole to interfere when he found the Akrida. Of course he couldn’t help himself, it’s Dean, he has never been able to ignore when something is wrong and he can help.

-Jack saying it’s time for Dean to return to his own story… I don’t disagree but I do object to the “there’ll be peace” mainly cuz Dean clearly isn’t done. And now I need t go into this a second. Because Jack is treating this situation with the Akrida as though this was Dean’s goal here. But the Akrida are the side quest, the thing that derailed the actual thing Dean’s been looking for when he took off from Heaven. Dean isn’t done. This may have helped him make peace with a chapter of his story, but that’s just it. It’s a chapter, the one about this parents’ tragedy. But he’s still looking. He didn’t leave heaven cuz he was looking specifically for John and Mary, he left the second he say Baby with no clear objective but the knowledge that he had to go. He found some meaning in his restlessness by looking for a version of his folks where they’re happy, but that’s just part of it. And you can see it by how he responds to Bobby in the beginning, how he talks to Jack here at the end. He isn’t done. 

-“They’re family” is one of my favorite moments in this finale tbh. Because not only does he say this explicitly, he does so after introducing them by name. Which brings us back to what I was saying about Sam. In choosing to not name Sam to the gang, but explicitly naming Jack and Bobby who are Dean’s chosen family, it narratively sends a message that goes in direct opposition to what 15x20 was pushing. And to be clear, we do get Sam mentioned by name too, because Sam isn’t important to Dean just because he’s blood related to him, Sam is just as much part of Dean’s chosen family, but Sam is mentioned to Jack and Bobby, who, like us the audience, already know this information about Sam’s importance as opposed to Jack and Bobby who (and I am aware we the audience is aware of their importance too) are representative of all the other chosen family that gets pushed aside in 15x20 in favor of the blood relations. Sam here is important because of what he as a person means too the 3 of them, not because he’s Dean’s blood relative, but it does bare repeating that Jack and Bobby, not blood relatives, occupy the same level of importance in Dean’s life. This went so far in patching up some of the bullshit 15x20 peddled imo. I love it.

-I do gotta say I still think Jack was changed by the god power and I still don’t like it. Chuck won theory or not, Jack is visibly acting different from what we’ve become used to in SPN and that is a sadness I cannot begin to explain to me. He also deserved to live his life free of all this responsibility thrust upon him since he was conceived.

-Oh, I am so emotional about Dean imparting his journal to John and the Colt to Mary. I was mentioning earlier about legacy and history and this is exactly the part that contributes to that discussion. John, the MOL legacy gets the journal - the theoretical help more or less, especially with Dean’s journal having focused, as opposed to SPN!John’s very practical entries, on the emotional and mental side of hunting and how to handle all that hunting will throw at you. And Mary, the Hunter legacy gets the gun - the practical help, but even here, having the Colt be one of the only guns in the series makes it stand out without you needing to know the full significance of it being the Colt, and moreso, Dean is giving it as a protective measure as we the audience know it’s the only thing that can kill the yellow eyes demons. More than that, he is also actively healing with these both of the trauma’s SPN!John and SPN!Mary impart to him - with John the emotional absence and with Mary the physical absence while still helping these versions of them John with his still existing anger issues and Mary, as she’s navigating this no-hunting life, having the means to ensure she survives it. And on top of this, he is reclaiming the legacy/history of SPN!John’s journal and SPN!Mary’s death this way. I love everything about this choice.

-Now the ending scene. 1. The fact that we full on get to see that Ada will eventually be fine, adore it! 2. The reference to the famous beach episode wth, unmatched joy about it. 3. Mary and John actually compromising and finding a way to meet in the middle with everything? Fantastic. 4. Millie letting John go easily? Such a departure from the acidic words she’d thrown his way at the beginning of the show. 5. Samuel actually letting Mary know he’s going and saying he’ll keep in contact? Same vibes as Millie, love to see it. 6. Mary’s iconic baby blue car? I have missed it so much!

-And now, Ramble On closes us off and what a fantastic choice that they got it. It truly is the perfect song for this story. Because it makes it clear that this isn’t an ending. It’s a moving on to something else once you’ve finished whatever/wherever you were at. Dean’s story here has come to a close but he’s moving on to something else, he’s still behind Baby’s wheel searching. John and Mary’s story has ended for now, especially this chapter that had interference after interference from on high (Chuck’s especially via the Akrida and then Dean’s trying to clean up Chuck’s mess) and they can move on both from Lawrence geographically and from this predetermination that said interference was pushing via calling back to SPN as much as it was, now they can live their own lives, like Mary said, she saw every possible version of her and chooses to make her own path instead. (I do wonder what Dean saw, he was there much longer than her). So yea, the story has ended and the story goes on. Perfect choice for song closer.

-EDIT: I forgot to add about the title... oops! Basically, it's kinda tied to what I was saying about the song choice as well aka it's not an ending so it's not a goodbye per se. Something you have echoed actually by Mary and John twice in the episode. And it works as a pushback toward 15x20.

And so I am done too and figuring out what I’m moving on to! I’m sure there are still things that I can come up with to say about this show, and probably will continue to for a long while yet, but the reviews are done now and I’ve said most everything I wanted most to say so til I get something else I feel like mentioning, see y’all in the reblogs! Hope this was fun for you and I deeply appreciate all those who have been patient and stuck around to hear my opinion on this. Bye bye!

@shallowseeker, @noybusiness,@inspnity17, @pleaseraisemefromperdition, @doctorprofessorsong

[xxsksxxx]

Almost Heaven

Summary:

Mulder’s attempt to find more exciting cases to investigate while stuck in the bullpen turns into another weekend trip to the forest.

Meanwhile, Scully is faced with a tempting offer that could change both her future and their lives.

This story is complete, and I’m going to post one chapter a day.

AO3 | Back to the Beginning | @today-in-fic

Chapter 3: Drivin’ Down the Road, I Get a Feelin’

Interstate 66 Saturday, November 28th, 1998, 7:30 am

Scully turned her face towards the car window, trying to cover a yawn. They were already outside the city, heading west. Leave it to Mulder to knock on her door at 6:30 in the morning, eyes bright and restless like a five-year-old on the way to the ballpark.

You could’ve said no, her inner voice pointed out helpfully. She smiled to herself. Not likely. She loved their little adventures nearly as much as Mulder did. Not that she’d ever admit that to him. Scully gave him a sideways glance. Mulder was humming along to the radio, chewing on a sunflower side. She watched him reach into the bag between their seats, pulling out another seed and licking the salt off of its shell. No, there were certainly worse places to be on a Saturday morning than being in a car with Mulder.

And he’d brought her her cup of coffee, of course. Perfect, like always. She took a sip of the still-hot liquid and felt the caffeine enter her bloodstream, waking her up a bit more.

Scully loved their little routines as of late. They’d always been close, but since their return from Antarctica, things have shifted. She glanced into her cup, watching the coffee swirl. Now Mulder brought her coffee each morning just how she liked it. And he never left the office without giving her shoulder a little squeeze or brushing her arm before wishing her a good evening. And of course, the calls where they now talked about more than just work. She’d told him about her Sunday lunch with her mother just a few days ago, both of them laughing about the stories her mother had told. And they’d begun to end those calls with wishes for sweet dreams, good nights, and long pauses. Scully closed her eyes against the warm rush that made her face flush and her heart race.

It wasn’t like she wasn’t following her own routines now, either. She didn’t even ask when she touched him wherever she felt like it these days. Scully was surprised he hadn’t called her out yet on constantly checking him over, brushing through his hair, feeling his back and chest, or just grabbing his arm. Picking up the phone after the first ring each night probably wasn’t secretive either, she sighed. Whatever was going on, it seemed to be an underlying agreement between them that they keep doing it—unfortunately, without talking about it.

What else is new? she wondered. Their unspoken communication was great, but sometimes she wished Mulder would also use words. And you’re talking to him about it? her inner voice questioned, and she sank deeper into her seat, taking another sip of her coffee. No, she wasn’t either. That was true. But that needed to change. She was tired of running in circles.

She leaned sideways in her seat, pressing her shoulder into the back so she could watch him fully. “So, where are we going exactly, Mulder? I believe you skipped that part on the phone last night.”

Mulder turned to her briefly before turning his eyes back to the road. “Does ’Country roads, take me home’ ring any bells for you, Scully?” he grinned.

She gave him a confused look. “What does John Denver have to do with our little trip? Please don’t tell me some farmer has seen his ghost in a national forest.”

Mulder laughed and then puckered his lower lip into a pout. “No ghosts, Scully. Just some good old mystery.” He pulled out another sunflower seed from the bag and put it on the tip of his tongue. “Only two more hours, and we’ll be there. You’ll get to visit the beautiful state of West Virginia. It’ll be fun,” he added, wiggling his eyebrows.

Scully sighed and turned towards the vents, trying to adjust the airflow. The windshield wipers were working at a steady pace to keep the constant rain off the windshield. “I hope you’re not planning on us traipsing around in this weather, Mulder. Nothing says ’fun’ like being soaking wet.”

“Think of it as an adventure. I know you like adventures.”

She glanced at him, feeling almost giddy with their easy banter. “My idea of a fun adventure involves less rain and more heat. And maybe a nice, cozy cabin with a fireplace.”

Mulder raised an eyebrow and winked at her. “Keep talking, Agent Scully! What about the heat?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Be careful what you wish for. I might be willing to turn up the heat—and you might not be able to handle it after all,” she playfully replied, not shying away from his look.

Mulder blinked, but was the first to break eye contact, his eyes refocusing on the road. He took another sunflower seed, chewing thoughtfully. “Ever heard of the West Virginia Mothman, Scully? I plan on making his acquaintance today.”

Scully kept watching him, a small smile playing on her lips. “I can’t say I have, Mulder. But if it’s got you fascinated, I’m not sure, it’s something I want to meet in the first place,” she quipped.

Mulder smiled at her indulgently. “Oh, you of little faith. Wait and see. We’re going to meet Mr. Murphy at ten, and he’ll show us to the clearing where he saw the Mothman.”

A clearing in the forest and a Mothman? So much for that fantasy of a weekend getaway, she sighed, leaning back in her seat. But secretly, she couldn’t suppress a smile. She loved it when Mulder got like that. His enthusiasm was utterly contagious and was one of the many things that had made the decision to stay on this weird assignment all those years ago surprisingly easy. She shook her head at herself. Mulder’s passion for the unexplainable might be charming, but one of these days it will get us killed, no doubt.

“You know, Mulder, sometimes I wonder if your mysterious creature sightings aren’t just your way of getting me alone in the middle of nowhere.”

Mulder chuckled, his eyes still on the road. “And what if you were right?”

Scully’s smile widened, and she leaned her head back against the headrest, closing her eyes. “Then I’d say you’re more of a romantic than I would have thought,” she joked lightly, but her tone held some seriousness.

Mulder glanced at her, a genuine smile on his lips. “Who knows, Scully? Maybe I am.”

[quin-ns]

Hi! Hope this is the right place to request,sorry if it isn’t. I was wondering if you could write a Routledge!hippie!fem! Reader x overprotective!JJ? Some suggestive fluff with a happy ending if that’s okay☹️ I absolutely LOVE ur work btw!!🩷

Reader is referred to as John B’s sister but she’s not described and is only a half sibling so anyone can read! I want to fulfill requests but it’s also important to me that I do what I can to make my fics inclusive 🫶

Peace & Love (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Every time JJ caught himself looking at you a little too long, he immediately felt John B’s eyes land on him. He had never mentioned it out loud, but JJ figured his friend knew he had a crush on you.

It wouldn’t have been a big deal if you weren’t John B’s little sister.

You weren’t actually that much younger than him, only a few months. Apparently Big John got around more than people realized, and after he pissed both John B’s and your mom off, he was left with the both of you.

It never seemed to cause any problems with you and John B, surprisingly. JJ sometimes wondered how that was possible, but John B took pride in being an older brother and you weren’t exactly the resentful type.

In fact, JJ was fairly certain you didn’t have a negative bone in your body. It was one of the many things he liked about you.

Your whole existence screamed peace and love, and all your friends (JJ included) joked that you were a hippie stereotype. It never bothered you, probably because you knew how badly the group needed someone who could remain calm and make everyone smile.

“I got something on my face or do you just think I’m pretty?” you asked suddenly.

It took JJ a moment to realize you were looking right at him, brows raised. Not long after that he realized he’d been staring again while lost in his thoughts.

You all were at a beach party, sitting around a bonfire. Other people were milling around all of him and his friends, but JJ wouldn’t have been any the wiser to their presence. He’d pretty much forgotten all about them, actually.

He flirted with you all the time, but this caught him off guard. If it had been just the two of you JJ would’ve been sincere and told you yes, he did think you were pretty. He’d been wanting to say something along those lines for a while, to test the waters.

But he felt the pressure of the others eyeing him—especially John B—and made some lame comment about not recognizing your headband and asked if it was new.

“Nah, man, I’ve had this one for a while,” you replied, subconsciously adjusting it.

John B looked at him as if to say, “really, dude?”, but you were too carefree to be suspicious.

Kiara laughed. “You probably haven’t seen it in a while ‘cause she has about a thousand.”

“So what? I like them,” you defended lightly. JJ watched a little too closely as you lifted your cup to your lips, but it was empty. “I need a refill,” you realized, standing.

JJ almost jumped to follow you, but he was still getting stared at. You disappeared out of his view through random bodies and he felt himself deflate.

“Seriously?” John B said, raising a brow at him. “You expect me to think you were looking at her headband?”

JJ felt like a spotlight was on him. Usually he didn’t mind, but this was a little more different. John B didn’t sound mad, but he wouldn’t have been surprised if his friend had told him to back off.

“If you like her, just say something,” John B continued, much to JJ’s surprise. His eyebrows even shot up while his best friend laughed. “Don’t look so shocked.”

“Yeah, dude, you’re super obvious,” Pope chimed in from off to the side.

JJ glanced at him and saw amusement before focusing back on John B.

“You’re so not pissed?”

John B laughed again. “Why would I be? I know you, man. And I trust you. So if she likes you back then… I mean, I’ll still have to have a talk with you, but you have my blessing.”

JJ let himself laugh at the phrasing. He stood, confidence building. “Since I have your blessing,” he started sarcastically. “I’m gonna go find her.”

That’s exactly what he did, maneuvering through the crowd, eyes searching for you excitedly.

When JJ spotted you, jealousy descended upon him. You were near the keg, filling up your cup, talking to some guy.

As he headed for you, that feeling morphed into protectiveness when he saw you try to walk away from the guy and he grabbed your arm.

“Hey! Let go of her, man,” JJ intervened, shoving himself between you and the guy.

“Who the hell are you?” the guy slurred out, face scrunching up in annoyance.

“The guy who’s gonna kick your ass if you don’t walk away,” JJ warned, squaring his shoulders. The guy hesitated for a moment, looking him up and down. Then, he turned and walked away exactly as he’d been told. “That’s what I thought.”

“Damn, JJ,” you said, sounding almost impressed.

He turned to face you and calmed down immediately when he saw you. “You alright?”

“Yeah, dude just couldn’t handle hearing “no”,” you relayed with a shake of your head. A small smirk tugged at your lips. “I guess I should say thanks for coming to my rescue.”

“You don’t gotta thank me.” JJ shrugged, attempting to be modest. “I’m always gonna look out for you.”

He was being sincere, and the smile you wore was appreciative.

“Noted,” you said before a more teasing smile crept onto your face. “So… you coming to ask about my headband again?”

JJ laughed in spite of himself. He scratched the back of his head. “Yeah… that was kinda lame, wasn’t it?”

“Maybe.” You shrugged. “But you’re cute, so it’s okay.”

Was he blushing? JJ wasn’t sure. He flirted with you all the time, but this was new territory because of what he was about to say.

“That’s good to know, ‘cause I actually came to ask you out… so, do you have plans tomorrow?”

“Well, I guess I do now,” you replied, your smile that JJ absolutely loved growing wider. “Although, I hope you ran it by my brother first.”

[paradoxcase]

Harrow the Ninth audiobook, Act 3

Harrow's memory of Crux giving her advice about her hallucinations just does not hit the same with the Moira Quirk Crux voice. When I was reading, at this point I was like, hmm, maybe I should reevaluate Crux slightly, but with the audiobook, the voice just sounds very incongruous

When Harrow talks to Ianthe about seeing G1deon with Cytherea's corpse, no precise description is in the text of the book, but it sounds like Ianthe expected something a lot worse than Harrow described, and then later Harrow tells John that she saw him "kissing" the corpse. Did Harrow actually just get all morally outraged about just a kiss?

I can't remember if I commented on it before, but Harrow says about G1deon that it was "as if he'd carried the name of a dead family pet" and I can't tell if this is some reaction that has something to do with Gideon or if she actually just thinks of Ortus as a "dead family pet"

John talks about G1deon killing Wake as if he were actually there when it happened, but he can't possibly have been, could he? If he wasn't there when Wake died, and had no idea that G1deon was having an affair with her, what does he actually know about how G1deon felt about killing her? He's not exactly a talkative guy. Mercy and Augustine knew that talking about Wake would get him to leave later on, too, but I don't think they were sharing a lot of info on her - he didn't know why Wake had a baby with her, for example

At some point a biscuit that was given to Harrow is described as a "repeatedly uneaten biscuit" which is definitely something

I can't remember if I noticed this the first time, but Harrow intentionally put all of G1deon's least favorite vegetables in the Trojan Soup so that he would eat more of the broth, haha

"The First Reborn" is used as an epithet for John at one point. Is John meant to have resurrected himself in the mythology?

After the Soup Incident, Augustine is looking "as if he had seen the ghost of someone he did not particularly like" which make me wonder what kind of stuff Anastasia got up to at Canaan House

Mayonnaise Uncle is in Harrow's River bubble, and he's acting just like himself, which I realize now must mean that his soul did not actually get consumed or corrupted by a devil thing after Colum's death. If they can really just infect anyone they injure, as is implied at the end of Nona, I wonder how he avoided that, since devil!Colum very much did fatally injure him

I pointed out before that later on in the River bubble they wind up congregating in the Second Lyctor lab, which seems to be relatively safe from Wake possibly because it belonged to G1deon and Pyrrha, but in this earlier part of the book they are also taking refuge in the quarters given to Judith and Marta as being the least leaky, and now I sort of wonder if they were given those rooms because they also had something to do with G1deon and Pyrrha and that's also why they're the least leaky in Harrow's bubble

Magnus, on the bad weather in the bubble: "It'll be a damned sight worse in the River." You know he's just extremely disappointed that Harrow is not able to see the joke, since I'm pretty sure both he and Abigail know what's up by this point

On Corona's "death" Abigail says "If she's gone, then perhaps that means--" and never finishes. I wonder if this is Abigail figuring out that Corona may still be alive

Ianthe says, "I wish killing [Naberius] had given me his needlepoint, too." I am actually kind of curious why it didn't, unless she means like, the actual physical pieces of clothing he embroidered or whatever and not the skill?

Harrow thinks she looks like her mother in the dress Ianthe makes for her, and then immediately says "I look like am imbecile." I know most people don't usually have positive thoughts about their mothers' senses of fashion, but even so this seems a little harsh

Augustine claims to be helping Harrow kill G1deon "for reasons of my own" and says that "he has caused me more pain over this past scant 40 years than I care to admit." When I read this originally, I just figured, of course Augustine dislikes G1deon, all my homies hate G1deon, because he'd said like three total words of dialog the whole book and done nothing but try to kill Harrow, but now I'm actually curious about this. Since they've known each other for 10,000 years and it's only the past 40 that have been a problem, this can't just be Augustine and G1deon not getting along for personality reasons the way that Augustine and Mercy don't get along (and also, Augustine never actually conspires to kill Mercy) so now I'm curious about what sort of falling-out happened between Augustine and G1deon in the last 40 years. I don't think it's just that Augustine was plotting with Mercy to kill John and G1deon was loyal to John, because I think Augustine and Mercy have been plotting to kill John for a lot more than 40 years. Was 40 years ago maybe when Wake first started to become relevant? Maybe Augustine and Mercy secretly conspiring with Wake to kill John at the same time that G1deon and Pyrrha were secretly fucking Wake caused some encounters between them that Augustine misinterpreted, honestly there could probably have been some hilarious Shakespeare-level dramatic irony here

Augustine says that Cristabel was a fanatic, which seems accurate to the account in Nona, but what was the object of her fanaticism after John resurrected everyone with no memory of Christianity? Although... Cristabel did help found the Eighth House, which honestly might sort of explain some things

John thinks BOE finding out about resurrection beasts must have been "an intelligence effort" since the resurrection beasts are classified information within the Nine Houses, which is hilarious as a concept after reading Nona, and G1deon does in fact correct him here that the only piece of actual intelligence they would have had to learn was where the fuck they came from

Ianthe goes on while drunk about being Harrow's sister, and it seems clear that she really wants Harrow to be like a replacement Corona

Harrow is mystified about why there is an incinerator on the Mithraeum and this question is ultimately never answered, although I guess it's possible that there will be an answer in the fourth book

When Pyrrha says "ba--" when talking to Harrow, it is not pronounced like the first syllable of "baby", which is kind of odd, since that's definitely what she was going to say. And she does definitely say she can feel Wake near or in Harrow, even though Wake is clearly in Cytherea's body at this point, furthering my suspicions that part of Wake's soul may still be in Gideon's sword even after Cytherea's body was shot at the end of the book. The voice also isn't different yet, but she is pretending to be G1deon here

[midnightsslut]

I was reading all the discussion about cardigan, the love triangle and the 1 and idk I’m still not convinced that they have shades of Matty. I’m not opposed to the idea, but there’s just so much vagueness and connections that could be done with other songs that make it hard for me to think that’s for sure about him. Like for example the rosé being present boh in the 1 and maroon and we know for sure that maroon is about Jake since Taylor basically confirmed it twice with the tiktok like and the mashup with red. Like when I first heard maroon I immediately thought that there was maybe a connection with the 1, that most likely the muse of the song was the same. And with cardigan the fact that it ends with Betty saying that she knew James was coming back makes me think that the guy did in fact came back (I abstain myself from saying whether they got back together or not, Taylor says they do, but I’m open to the possibility they didn’t) and by the time she wrote and released the song her and Matty had not come back together, I mean it was literally confirmed last year when they started dating that they reconnected in 2022 and I see no reason why they would’ve lied about that

oh I’m not certain by any means. I literally flip flop hour to hour, and that usually doesn’t happen quite so extremely lol. I think the rosé reference is too little to go on tbh—I know she uses key visual images as symbols of different relationships, but rosé is also just linked to youth, wealth, having a good time, etc. i agree that they definitely reconnected in 2022, but there’s no reason why she wouldn’t have wondered about him before when she was miserable. like, she pretty much explicitly says she did on chloe et al. it’s not like she was in touch with jake, harry, or john when making midnights, but she wrote about them anyway. I just think that if there are multiple songs on ttpd about how she at least wondered about him a few times—yes, fortnight definitely comes after their reunion, but chloe doesn’t necessarily—and there’s a song she wrote about a film that was never made with someone who has a chosen family and meets women on the internet, it’s pretty reasonable that those two muses are linked. the love triangle/cardigan def has way more to do with joe than matty (again, specific imagery), but the 1 is a different matter, especially when you consider that she wrote it on the same day as hoax. she was going through a lot of turmoil in her life and resorted to daydreaming about a relationship that never really came to be. that’s exactly the story ttpd tells.

eta; a lot of songs on folklore probably aren’t about one thing only, but idk the 1 always felt kind of specific to me, and i could never pinpoint why (i know a lot of people disagree). she said hoax was unusual for her because it had multiple muses. she could’ve used that style of writing in another song she were the same day, but I’m inclined to think a ton of songs on folklore aren’t all that vague lol.