#me whenever i use any gen z slang

[sparkymalone]

The older I get, the more I relate to Sonia using incredibly stilted slang terms.

[greenunoreversecard]

HEYYEYHEY CAN I REQUEST LLOYD (ninjago) HEADCANONS PLEASEEEE (ty :3)

A/N: Ofc!I'll do general character ones, as well as x reader ones :) hope ye likey likey:pp

Lloyd, The Greenest and Geekest mf.

General character headcanons:

Half Japanese half Chinese

His hair is box blonde dye and you cannot change my mind.

Left handed

Severely dyslexic and hands off all scroll reading and just reading oriented tasks to kai.

Def gen z vibes. Like, the others give off more inbetween z and millenial, so they dont always get his humor. And sometimes he uses that to his advantage and "Speaks in code" (uses as much slang as possible)

Has LED lights in his room set to forest green.

Has given himself a smiley face tattoo.

Cried over a dead goose once.

OK, just to preface i see cole as a stoner of Sorts and uses the excuse "it gets me closer to my element"

With that in mind cole let lloyd try it and now sometimes when he is told to unwind, of feels like he needs to take a chill pill he and Cole spark up

in the beginning of his leader ship role, he used to Say;"kick ass and take names" and if things went wrong he had the fuck it we ball mindset, but got better with time. There are still times they wing it, though.

if he isnt in his gi he almost exclusively wears his pajamas (aka a Hoodie, tshirt and sweats)

Vv tired, and now has a raging addiction to energy drinks due to his lack of Sleep.

He used to eat worms as a kid bc he Thought he it was evil.

Has a eyebrow piercing, and wants a tongue piercing.

Wears "reading" glasses, that he should technically wear all the time because he can't see up close and has a astigmatism,, but he says yolo. Zane then make him contacts after he almost ran into a moving blade and got his head severed.

Adhd and OCD, as well as the normal line up (anxiety, depression, cptsd)

Lloyd in a relationship:

Hes very distant in the beginning, it'll take time to warm up to you.

He tends to be orage cat vibes.

On the cat trend, he gets close for a bit Before becoming distant. Going through waves of affection, kinda.

He hasn't had like, any good relationships in his life so he tries to "protect" himself when he feels he gets to close to you, and so he pulls away.

He does the fuckboy face when your sad bc it makes you laugh, as well as That weird dice roll

He actually does the face/dice roll combo whenever he Sees you as he walks over, it's an inside joke now

primary giving love language: acts of service and quality time

Primary receiving love language: gifts and words of affirmation. But physical touch is also high up there.

Also, not expensive gifts. He hates those. Give him a stick you saw on a walk that made you think of him. He'll cherish it forever. And maybe cry.

He will cry.

will make noises at you and expects a noise in response or he'll be sad.

Also randomly bites you. He's a nommer

also sends you memes throughout the day.

As well as random pictures with the caption;"BABY LOK THIS IS S. US IF WE WHERE *insert whatever item here*

Called you babe, baby, love, shitface, asshole.

Expect kind and loving gentle bullying.

Doesnt know how to express his emotions to just expect him to come up to you, lightly shake your shoulders and aggressively say;"I love you bitch.i ain't Evea gon stop lovin you. Bitchhhhhhh" (vine reference)

Sends you .5 of everyone, himself included. He's addicted to Taking them. You will not get out of it.

Also sometimes just walks around in nyas stilettos for fun.

You two have fashion shows.

You also take over the Living room sometimes and build giant ass forts to watch shitty reality tv in and make fun oF The people

Overall, once he realizes you won't leave he's the most funniest loving chaotic guy.

But expect it to take a hot minute for him to realsie this

give him time,, but also have some deep talks..

Let him vent

and for the love of God don't hurt the baby's heart.

Expect inside jokes

[arinzu]

My Headcannons for Yoichi Isagi, Rin itoshi and Alexis Ness💕

Part 1 l part 2

Might not be accurate

💗💗💗

Yoichi Isagi :

✿He took a photo once of his hair slick back and his fan went absolutely feral.

✿He time to time stalks Rin to observe what he does.

✿Isagi probably stares at the ceiling when he's about to sleep and think about all of the opportunities he missed.

✿If he played any other sports it would be chess, since his vision is great for mental games.

✿Tbh is he was a sin he would be greed/gluttony.

✿If he could ask anything from his parents, it would be to have a little sis.

✿Does skin, body and hair care every few days.

✿Swears in videos games often. Those little brats think they're so gOoD but once isagi finishes his puzzle he'll devour them

✿Tried to hit Kaiser in the head with the ball after a practice match, but Noel Noah was there

✿Gossips with kurona and hiori about kaiser and ness, It's perfect since kurona doesn't know what they're doing but hiori has a lot of dirt on them.

Boyfriend Headcannons💤

♡Plays football w/ u and teaches you by beating you, not even to destroy your self esteem.

♡ such a sweetheart while you are on your menstrual cycle (if you're a girl)

♡ gossip about every teammate with you, like a whole book of players he wants to gossip to you about

♡ once you were sick, he drove to the local store at 2 am just for you. He's so sweet.

♡ Cooks very well like he'll cook food decently

♡ Not that toxic? Maybe that's probably up for debate

♡tells you about his problems like it's the national news to be discuss

♡ Has that romantic playlist he made just for you and him to enjoy.

♡Due to being in blue lock he hasn't texted you often so in return he tries to send gifts every month

♡ Calls you darling and sweetheart multiple times a day

Rin itoshi

✿Drools in his sleep (Me too Rin)

✿I feel like he'll stand awkwardly in a party not even interacting with anyone

✿Is good at cleaning, not barou level but up there

✿Perfect grammar, also TOP at his English

✿Never uses any gen-z/alpha slangs or any type of slang infact

✿Dry ass texter...

✿Gets really weirded out by any of his THOSE fangirls/fanboys... Like wdym you wanna have the reproduction LIKE HE'S ONLY 16

✿Knows knife play at some point, don't ask him why (he doesn't know)

✿Artistic in secret... Like he'll paint the beach or anything that shows the happy times of him and sae

✿Gets nightmares of that day... (Pretty sure everyone has that headcannon by now)

Boyfriend Headcannons💤

♡Cuddles every time he gets a chance with you. That kinda prevents him from getting those dreams....

♡ even if he's not as romantic as the others, you guys still go on weekly dates and THEY are expensive or just casual date like movie date🫶

♡After getting traumatized by sae, he almost broke up with you, Thank goodness, that you manage to make him snap out of it.

♡ After getting convinced by your and his parents he went to couple counseling and saw his mistakes

♡One of his favorite things to do with you is Playing football, I mean two things he loves in one? Count him in!

♡ Bring extra clothes with him whenever you're around, just in case it gets cold and he doesn't need to give you his hoodie.

♡Does not have much of a soft spot for you BUT, his eyes sparkle whenever he sees you like the good old times

♡ Almost made you cry when you both were on a movie date, it was those scary ahh movies that you don't know what's coming next.

♡Has a separate Love notebook from his early days of middle school that he reads when he misses you.

♡Calls you lukewarm as a word of affection when he sees you

Alexis ness

✿Would probably be in good terms with isagi if it didn't end like this

✿Has a mental breakdown every few days because of kaiser paying too much attention to isagi

✿Makes Kaiser a birthday cake every year and even bought him EXPENSIVE stuff from his hometown

✿Keeps the magician outfit he had when he was just a child, he cherish it like it's the most valuable thing in the whole universe

✿Would be friends w/ Charles if they interacted more, I mean like opposite friends, Ya'k

✿If richer than his awful siblings back home, if not then... It's because of the plot.

✿If he didn't met kaiser he'll probably be better than what he is now.

✿Has surprisingly good fashion taste, It's better than most blue lockers I can tell you

✿Has that changing color book lamp at the side of his bed he use when he's upset or just sad

✿He would like science if it weren't for the fact of his childhood

Boyfriend Headcannons 💕

♡Is actually quite the gentleman to you and your family members, since he a very toxic household

♡Always makes your favorite dish, if he doesn't know the recipes he'll find it by your guardian/ by how you like it.

♡Gives you a lot of gifts, I MEAN A LOT like everyday you'll find things that you enjoy at your doorstep

♡Due to being away from blue lock, he gets awfully jealous of the boys around you. Even if it's just a friend

♡Husband material frfr

♡ Punch a dude that was making you uncomfortable, and then ran with you to flee the scene.

♡Prefers the value of affection than the materialistic value of a gift you give him

♡ Loves being the small spoon but if you want, he can be the big spoon, anything for his precious angel.

♡Yandere tendency!!! Whether a girl or boy, he will get jealous if you spend more attention on them than him!

♡Call you angel or any kind of German words of affection, he will use it

That's it y'all💋

Thank you for reading this! It too me longer than expected!

So thank you for staying till the end even tho it was just 3 blue lock characters!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[82mitsu]

{18Trip} The Homescreen Voice Lines Vault

Collection of all the voice lines I have translated on my Twitter account. Uploading it on here for archival purposes.

Note: A lot of them were made to fit the Twitter character limit, sometimes they're a bit freestyled.

Mostly Raito oriented, with some others thrown in the mix.

Chihiro: Raiting, you spend a lot of time watching vids, don'tcha~ What channels got you hooked?

Raito: Let me see, channels all about information over ramen and the occult stuff like Muu☆Tan's are vital to me.

Raito: Kuguri, you can do what you want but, have you considered to stop sleeping naked from time to time? No doubt you'll catch a cold.

Kuguri: I'd prefer for you to leave me be. A certain Someone who can't properly wake up in the morning has no right to police others on how they sleep.

Raito: According to this scripture of taboos that I procured on my own, it appears that Pandora's Box will open up again soon. The theory of hope remaining at the bottom is plausible but, let's just wait and see...

Akuta: Uugh... I can't... I can't go on like this anymore.... Raito-san, please do the usual thing again tonight!!

Raito: A hopeless guy, aren't you... Got it, I'll take care of you. I will... feed you the best late night ramen that there is.

Netaro: Raito~! Trouble's afoot! There's hearsay of a unfamiliar flickering luminant body appearing behind the dormitory~!

Raito: What!? An unidentified flying object, in other words!? We must unravel its true identity! Let's go right away, Netaro!

Kuguri: Sometimes Nanaki looks at me cutely and pleads for advice on composing music. Well, my involvement is limited to hearing him out and giving a nudge, however.

Kuguri: I don't disagree with your way of living, Ten... It smells sweet, exclusively so. How about we go on a drive together again sometime.

Ten: Aha, it's an honor to get invited by someone like Kuguri-san~ I don't mind the kinda relations where you stay outta each others affairs either.

Chihiro: Geez~! Taotao, you play Anigun way too much! Didn't you like promise you'd go shopping with Chii today! And here I sat looking forward to it~!

Tao: Sorry. To think there'd be an event out of nowhere... I'll buy you some pudding as apology. So let's go shopping. Okay?

Akuta: Like, during flower viewing... adults do /that/, right... Y'know... the thing... s- s- s- strip rock paper scissors....!

"yakyuuken" is a Japanese game on based rock paper scissors, where the loser ends up stripping.

Akuta: Ten-san, I heard you talking to a woman on the phone earlier, but is she for real... wrapped around your finger!? Like both hands all over a beaut and...!

Ten: Aha, the hell man. Don't slander me. She's just a plain ol' friend. Maybe you're still too young for this though~?

Akuta: That freakin' Kiroku, he put a kinda bracelet that girls would wear in his desk. Ah, wonder if he's like also doing the do with her...

Ushio: Oi Stupidtake, record what I make all you want but don't snatch food while i'm not looking. You itching to get banned or something?

Akuta: Geh... got caught, huh... I regret my actions! Please spare me from being exiled! Oh great god from heavens above Ushio-samaaa~!

Nanaki: Kugunii, come over whenever you feel like it again. I'm sure Dad, Mom and Big Bro all are eager to see you.

Kuguri: Perhaps so. ...I'll go if the mood strikes me.

Nanaki: Spring is the season of encounters, huh... I already have crossed paths with my G.O.A.T though.

GOAT: Gen Z slang, means "Greatest Of All Time".

Ushio: Listen Murakumo-san, I know you're fooling around, but can you please refrain from putting any weird ideas into the younger guys' heads?

Ten: Oh-hoh~ look at you sounding all cool there. Dunno what you mean with "weird ideas" though.

Ushio: ....I curse the freaking guy who dared to use my shampoo without permission to go bald from losing 10 hairs every second...!

Ryui: Toi, your hair's sticking out. Here, sit still. I'll fix it to make it pretty.

Toi: Wah... Thank you dearest Big Bro. My beloved Big Bro really is the coolest in the whole wide world... My heart's skipping a beat...

Toi: A mature seductiveness like Yodaka-san's... How can i end up having that too? I'm jealous, you see.

Yodaka: Fufu, but Toi. Don't you have your own kind of charm that I lack. I admit I'm also envious on that front.

[edwinspaynes]

For @dbdpromptober Day 17 - mushroom Read it on Ao3!

Not many people remembered what a good cook Niko's dad had been. But he had always sought to bring her and her mom the joys of delicious meals. From simple recipes like perfectly-fluffy omurice to more complex Oosaka-style okonomiyaki and kitsune soba, he was more skilled in the kitchen than anyone had any business of being.

But Niko's favourite recipe was by far his matsutake soup. It was a delicacy, a treat - matsutake were expensive, and Niko's family had been far from rich. But she always liked watching him cook on the rare occasion that her parents decided to splurge, loved seeing him clean the skin and chop them up into fine bits.

When she was little, she'd climb onto the counter and help him put them in the pot alongside pork and green onions. She'd stir it with both hands over the handle of a massive spoon, smiling as he joked with her about her future as the world's smallest chef.

That had been years ago, now. Now, both Niko and her father were dead, and her dad had passed on to the untouchable afterlife that Niko didn't dare get near.

But she still thought of him, always. Even when her senses left her, she remembered the way that that matsutake soup smelled, the dashi over rice and egg and cooked to perfection.

She remembered it well enough to emulate.

"That's a really unique smell," Crystal said, sitting on the counter by the stovetop of their apartment. If Niko had taken a second, she'd realize that Crystal sat exactly where she once had cooked with her dad, looking down at the bubbling broth and stirring with a little wood spoon. "Can you tell me what it is again?"

"The dashi?"

"No, the mushrooms." Niko grinned; Crystal's voice was smiling, so much as a voice could.

"Like I said, matsutake. They smell like... well, pine, I guess, because they're pine mushrooms. Just... earthy, I think? I don't know. I remember how the mushrooms smell, because of my dad," Niko said, adding some chopped-up onions to the broth. "But I don't really remember any other smells. It's weird, honestly."

"I don't think it's that weird," Crystal argued, and Niko shot her a look. Rolling her eyes, Crystal shrugged. "Alright, fine, maybe it's a little weird. But it was probably, like, the magic of your dad's love or some shit that kept it in your memory."

"Probably." Niko smiled slightly. "Whenever we had this, he used to make the worst joke. His name was Takeru, and it was stupid. But I don't think it'd translate well, so I'm not sure I can make it."

"Well, maybe I'll understand it with my bang-on Japanese skills," Crystal argued, and Niko chuckled.

"Bang-on," she said, stirring the broth. "You sound like Charles."

"Damn it. Am I picking up his mannerisms?" Crystal scratched her head. "Probably. Fuck."

"It's not so bad," Niko argued. "Just the other day, I told a client that they'd done a top-whole job."

"Emulating Edwin," Crystal said. "Embarrassing. I have a girlfriend who emulates Edwin Payne."

Niko hummed. "Okay. So the joke is, like, 'take no matsutake wa tataku.' Not very funny, but he was a dad, and I miss dad jokes."

Crystal snorted. "Take's pine mushrooms... slap? Your dad knew Gen Z slang?"

"I think he was more trying to say that his mushrooms packed a punch," Niko argued.

"Well, now I have super fucking high expectations." Crystal adjusted one of her buns. "I expect to be punched in the face by Mushroom."

"I had a book about a superhero green pepper as a kid," Niko mused as she took a spoonful of broth. "Maybe the mushroom can be related to him." She blowed on the spoon and handed it off to Crystal. "Here," she said. "I forgot that I can't test it. Sand flavor."

"That sounds awful," Crystal agreed, tasting it.

Niko grinned as her eyes lit up.

"Your dad was a fucking genius," Crystal said, sticking the spoon in the boiling pot again and pulling up a bit of mushroom.

Niko clapped her hands together lightly. "I'll get you a bowl."

[argumentativeaxolotl]

Hello again! Could I make a request? I would like you to write headcanons about lightning being that young racing driver in the modern world, I don't know why, I can only think of the fact that he spends a lot of time playing mini games on his cell phone lol. You could add doc too, I love the dynamic

I love this! I gotchu! I’ll likely add more later down the line too if I can think of any!

“Modern” Cars(Humanized?) Headcanons!

- Lightning is 100% an iPad kid and nobody can tell me otherwise

- He would 100% be the Gen Z racer 😭:

“McQueen! McQueen do you have anything to say after you won today’s race?!”

“I’m standing on business.”

“…what?”

- Doc keeps a book of slang because he can’t understand what the fuck Lightning’s saying half the time 😭

- Lightning will doom-scroll all day if you let him

- he needs to have something playing on his phone or he needs to watch something in order to eat

- I feel like he’d livestream on Instagram while he’s racing and make some dumb commentary

- He 100% makes Twitter posts bashing Chick Hicks and Francesco Bernoulli

- He has an extremely popular YouTube channel

- He did an apology video(one “Logan Paul” styled one for PR and one genuine one after Radiator Springs)

- His favorite mobile games include: Fruit Ninja, Temple Run, Candy Crush, and Plants Vs. Zombies

- Doc actually insists Lightning play Candy Crush and Fruit Ninja since 1) Candy Crush is Doc’s favorite and 2) Fruit Ninja could help with Lightning’s hand-eye coordination

- He 100% bullies people on Roblox and goes into those Roleplay games to become “pretty princess / don’t touch my tail / weird kid / cute but doesn’t know it” type shit because he finds it hilarious(me too)

- He 100% downvotes other players in the fashion games so he can get a perfect score

- Lightning sits in the weirdest fucking positions when he’s engrossed in his little phone games. Like he’ll be broken into a croissant in the back seat while playing PvZ. Doc one time found him scrunched up in a small corner of the room, on his stomach, with his legs over his head and pressed into the wall in a giant L-formation while watching YouTube

- He’s really, really, really bad at Mario Kart

- Lightning and Mater will play games on call over Discord

- Lightning doesn’t know shit about technology, but whenever Doc needs help with something involving a game console or his phone or a game or something of the like, Lightning will always somehow know how to fix it or beat the level or whatever

- He’s an Apple user and does not fuck with any other brand for phones(he hates Apple computers tho)

- He 100% buys and uses all the phone cases of his merch(including the knock-off ones)

- Doc is a boomer and Lightning always has to help him set things up on phones

- Lightning has spent 107 hours on the Olive Garden app

[plum-pitt]

Holy shit. I just realized i’ve never even yapped about my headcanons for the rise guys. This is a criminal offense on my part! Must be rectified immediately!!

Disclaimer: Don’t think there’s a lot of hot takes here, but feel free to disagree and talk about your own interpretations if you’d like!! Headcanon is fun and i love discussing it. it’s all fictional and since the text doesn’t give us much concrete shit on these topics we’re all free to make our own, equally valid readings of it. :3

Leo- Transmasc He/Him, gay as fuck who here could’ve guessed, ADHD haver, definitely smokes weed. Fluent in spanish from watching telenovellas as a child. Wants to be a flirty whore/aff so fucking bad but whenever he sees someone he’s legitimately attracted to any charisma he might’ve had gets thrown out the window and into a woodchipper in favor of helpless stuttering. His portalling mishaps early in the series have led him to silly sidequests all over the world that he just,,,, doesn’t really talk about. This won’t come up until they’ll end up in some random ass place and find out just how well travelled and connected he actually is. He’s also got a job at Hueso’s for fun and extra cash to fund his addiction to pot and ordering stupid shit he doesn’t need online. He’s a server, wears rollerskates to “move faster” on the job, just ends up running into shit more often than not. Great with the kids tho, performs little sleight of hand magic tricks and tells jokes to make them happy, never had a fussy kid he couldn’t calm down in a snap. Calls himself Hueso’s nephew and nepotism hire, ignoring the fact that he’s actually a decently competent and well liked employee outside of the several skating related accidents. Shell was cracked badly in the invasion, when they sealed it up, he asked Mikey to paint the healed cracks gold, mimicking the japanese practice of Kintsugi.

Mikey- Definitely queer but not into labels ;3 He/Him is what he defaults to, but any pronouns work for them. Semi fluent in italian, don’t ask me why, just feels right, let chef boy speak italian dammit. One of those mfs on instagram who insists on posting pictures of the food he makes, except his actually looks good and not painfully mediocre so they get a pass. Has been tagging walls in hard to reach spots all over the city for years at this point, after Raph confronted her abt it, fearing that he’d get caught someday, he told him that he’d stop. Yeah, that was a lie he kept doing it, just sneakier now. Makes money off of art commissions, still broke as hell tho cuz he spends it all on bougie ass ingredients and art supplies. Post canon definitely delved more into mystics and spirituality, trains with draxum but also took up meditation in his free time. Fucks with weed and the occasional psychedelic when working on art, says it helps get the creative juices flowing. Considering asking donnie to forge some documents for him so he can attend college online and earn a psych degree. His speech patterns flip on a dime between vague, wise fortune cookie therapist man and typical gen-z slang so abruptly it gives anyone not already familiar with him total whiplash.

Donnie- NonBinary They/He Bisexual but i can’t decide if they’re the kind that can’t stop pulling or can’t pull to save his life. Fluent in several languages, ASL, French, Russian, Japanese. Actually one of their few acedemic endeavors that he doesn’t typically show off and gloat about, makes it all the scarier when his siblings hear him muttering vaguely threatening sounding shit in russian when shit doesn’t go their way. Has tried most substances for “research purposes”, ultimately decided he doesn’t like the feeling of their big ol brain being hindered under the influence, this has a few exceptions tho, mainly when it’s with Leo. Has John Bishops IP address and threatens to drop it on 4chan to “see what happens” every time he tries messing with their family or stopping him from “borrowing” material resources from the US government. Almost considered bs-ing his way into college before they used a cloaking broach to shadow april at school for like 2 days. It was there they learned that the education system fucking sucks and he probably knows more than most professors about his topics of interest anyway. Does freelance work for cash, as far as their brothers know they’re not building and selling anything dangerous (which is code for probably arming both sides in a far away military conflict with deathrays). Spends his free time cyber bullying children on roblox and twitter, and caring for their greenhouse of plants that all have names. (yes he grows weed. his GeniusGrown™️ zaza is known far and wide for its consistently excellent quality. and no, Leo does not get a family discount. Mikey does tho.)

Raph- Someone please send the big man some help😭 he/him(?) Definitely queer in some way shape or form but refuses to confront any identity crisis because he’s just so busy keeping his dumb ass siblings outta shit. Tried weed once and will never touch a substance again, makes his anxiety spike real bad when he doesn’t feel in full control of himself. Runs around with Cassandra and sometimes Jr to do vigilante justice on the side of he and his siblings’ usual patrols. Living garbage disposal and i mean that quite literally. He has and will eat anything, rocks, toys, silverware, sometimes on accident, sometimes on a dare, and sometimes just because he wants to. He grew up gnawing on the legs of furniture, rusty sewer pipes, really any nonliving thing that he could fit his choppers around (unlike donnie who just bit any living creature within a 5 mile radius of his location). Since the invasion made Leo step up as leader Raph has been able to step back a little bit and not have everything in a chokehold, he has a mini crisis about his place in the family and his sense of identity without being a leader. Tries to hide how much it’s affecting him but ofc, living with mikey, this does not last and his ass FINALLY gets chucked (very lovingly) into therapy. Loves to knit, definitely in some kind of old lady facebook group centered around it (he has so much nursing home gossip floating around in his brain hehe)

Alright that’s all for the teetlez. lmk if yall wanna hear about my thoughts on the rest of the main cast, or some of the side cast! Can’t promise i’ll have this much to say on all of em but i’ve definitely got thoughts lol. I might even make a post diving into different character dynamics. idk tho, my fingies are tired typing all that shit😭

Anyway i hope u enjoyed my ramblings, have a lovely day :3

[swemory]

Messy CoD: Ghost's headcannons ::

on the topic of CoD charachters as animals, Merrick strikes me as a bear. dunno ENTIRELY why. i saw this other post montttthhhssss back(more like a year ago) of someone headcannoning that Merrick kind of instinctively starts watching out for the Walker brother's/doting on them more after Elias' death and i REALLY resonate with that.

he takes care of his cubs :) definitely gets protective of the two brothers after his best friends death. (also headcannon that Elias and Merrick were closer buds than we got to see. those two definitely drink beer together.) Merrick seems like the kind of guy to have never seen himself as a father figure, its just an instinctive move after Elias dies since the two boys are still pretty young adults. (dunno if the person said all this in their posts, i have zero way of finding them again 😭😭)

(i was getting stuffed animals from build a bear nd making them themed as CoD charachters and i have a bear one as Merrick because of this[lmk if you want a bear!Merrick reveal because i also have doodles of him with bear ears])

Merrick, Merrick, Merrick..

honestly dont really know what to say about this man. i feel like he's extremely un-tech savvy unless its military technology. definitely does that dad squint with his eyes while reading something/trying to figure out how tf a phone works.

OHHH and on the topic of being horridly bad with tech and internet shi, if Logan and Hesh were to ever show Merrick tiktok for any reason, Merrick would probably find himself an addict of the app and incidentally pick up a shit ton of Gen Z humor but have zero idea what ANY of it means.

catch him throwing around old 2019 jokes or being one of those awkward father's who try to relate to the younger demographic by using outdated slang. thats IF he has the confidence to use any of the humor. if anything, i feel like he'd be awfully self conscious about doing so due to his lack of knowledge on it all.

no idea where im going with these headcannons. it is 12am and i am doing my workout routine as i wrote this while sleep deprived. dw im going strong.

but on the topic of HEADCANNONS,,,

Keegan, i feel like, leaned alot on Elias (probably without realizing it). i just see a kinship between Keegan, Elias and Merrick. Keegan seems to be by Merrick's side ALOT and i feel like HE feels he belongs there. not reliant just.. connected. soul brothers, really.

and if it wasnt Logan and Hesh who were fucked up over Elias' death, it was Keegan and Merrick. Merrick lost a bestfriend, Keegan lost a friend maybe even a father/uncle figure.

mostly Merrick gives me uncle vibes, though. Elias is a father figure, someone to lean on / someone to really show you how to do something and help you through hard times with insanely good advice. and Merrick's just the awkward, un-tech savvy uncle. i refuse to elaborate any further.

my personal headcannon for Logan is that hes semi-mute. i dont, personally, headcannon him as someone with full mutism but i do feel like he doesnt speak 90% of the time and shocks everyone whenever he does speak.

Keegan going about his day, saying a brief good morning to Logan and the Walker boy saying a quiet ''morning'' back to the man. has Keegan freeze on the spot, taking a full minute before looking up at Logan. takes a glance at Hesh and the brother merely shrugs, used to Logan's rare speaking.

out of everyone, Logan mostly speaks to Hesh. whenever Logan does speak, i feel like its aimed, USUALLY, at Hesh and nobody else in the room. keeps ot brief but sometimes has an actual back and forth while Merrick and Keegan are just reeling.

Merrick, wanting to help understand Logan better and show he cares more after Elias' death, put time aside to learn sign language for Logan's 'no talk days'. definitely mixes up a few signs and still has alot to learn but it surprises Logan and the man feels heard. definitely better than Logan having to rely on Hesh fully to communicate what Logan's trying to say / Logan having to fumble and point out different things and use unconventional means to try and get something across.

no hcs for Hesh rn..i THINK. actually i think i do have some but i cant remember and am tired. i spent likr an hour writing this yw im so eepy

gonna make a post strictly for Elias hc's because i have ALOT. (can you tell i have daddy issues)

A/N:: if anyone else has done these hcs tell me, im losing my mind over if ive actually seen anyone else have the same thoughts as me or not.

[maxslibrary]

Could you do some headcanons of the Looney tunes meeting a gen z reader? idk maybe its one of the Looney tunes extended family and they just decided to take the reader with Them (bc why not) and the other Looney tunes is confused because they don’t what the actual fuck the reader is saying bc of gen z slang?

[Gen Z Reader x Looney Tunes Gang Scenarios]

(Oh god I'm gonna love writing this. I decided to go with the main gang! Hope you don't mind!)

🐰Bugs Bunny🐰

You let the word "BASED!" slip in front of him.

"Based on..what?"

He said, literally not knowing what the heck you were saying. After a bit of laughter you begin to explain it to him.

"Oh! Yeah.. Based. Based."

He kind of like, trails off when he says that because he's still genuinely confused.

I imagine he typically sticks to the slang he's used to, however there's been a few times where he's tried to use modern slang.. it typically does not go well but at least he falls with grace.

🦆Daffy Duck🦆

When you first let the slang slip Daffy is absolutely confused. He's unsure of what you just said and more importantly: did you just insult him?

"Whatda mean "Cringefail?????""

bro is flabbergasted. You explain it to him and he's even more confused. But then you say it's modern lingo and he nods.

He starts using modern terms and it's BAD.

He throws around "Based" and "Cringefail" like NOBODIES business. He thinks he's hot shit now. (VERRYYY "how do you do fellow kids")

Eventually he has to be told that he was NOT pulling it off and he hesitantly stopped.

🐽Porky Pig🐽

Porky was trying to bake something. Nothing more, nothing less. Then you suddenly call him "A malewife".

"W-W-Whatsa..W-Whatsa m-m-malewife?"

You assure him, it's not a negative thing! After you explain he takes it sort of like a complement. He still doesn't fully understand but hey! He's a Malewife I guess!

He'll go up to the others and be like "Y-Ya know! Y/N called me a male wife and I-I-I think that's pretty n-n-n-nea-n-ne..swell!"

He doesn't use any terms himself BUT he does try and ask for you to explain some of them to him.

🚩Marvin The Martian🚩

INSTANTLY after you say the word Marvin is confused to hell in back. What EARTHLING dialect WAS THIS?

"Earthling what on MARS is a BOGOS BINTED???"

You explain to him that it's an internet joke and he's even MORE confused. He paces around trying to think of what exactly to say.

You show him the video and he just kind of stares for a second before squinting at you.

"... Is that EARTH humor?"

You confirm that it is yes. Earth humor.

"Weird."

He then proceeds to walk away, before chuckling to himself.

🧨Wile E Coyote🧨

Wile overhears what you say and puts a hand to his chest.

"My word what.. what WAS that?"

Rinse and repeat, you explain to him and he is utterly baffled.

"Ah this is the modern dialect of the youth. I understand"

He proceeds to talk about how he feels older dialect is much less "Timeless" and such. But he humors you.

He does little laughs whenever you use the terms. You can't tell if it's out of genuine fondness or it's meant to mock you.

"Ah yes. Swag. What a word."

Yeah you literally cannot tell.

Road Runner Dabs.

[doberbutts]

Waow how is a take as easily digestable as "stop willfully distorting the words I and people around me use because you think the sounds are funny, it's disrespectful." getting pushback. (Not talking about the anon with a genuine question)

(whenever I hear one of these chucklefuck white guys call a lady a gyatt I wanna hit em with my thousand dictionary attack)

Yeah I don't really care about the "this word has become modern slang and is so common that many people don't know the history" because like. That's just English in a nutshell to be perfectly honest.

But what I do mind is "people who aren't the ones using this word have decided that it actually means this other thing, and have made a negative public impression regarding the use of this word, before deciding that the word was Not Good To Say after all and moving on, all while the original speakers of this word still use it in its correct form except now everyone thinks even more poorly of them for doing so"

Do you know how many videos I've seen on my FB recommendeds and it's all white people making fun of "gen z slang" except it's 100% AAVE and incredibly bastardized AAVE that yes doesn't make any fucking sense and sounds like nonsense because that's what happens when you decide grammar rules and definitions don't matter as long as the word makes a funny noise. Y'all out here speaking Simlish and then get mad when black people tell you it's actually not funny to mock our dialects.

And like. I'm not on TikTok or Insta or Twitter but I have seen videos of black people saying exactly this and pointing out the problem so at this point to me it's willful ignorance that black people have been saying this and (general) you're still having a fit at me for saying exactly what other black people have been saying about it.

[theexaltedbride]

Dead Island 2 Slayers X Reader Headcanons (Part Two!)

(Since so many people liked the first one, and some even asked me for more, I decided to let my muse run wild again. Having a great time with the game so far and I hope you all enjoy the little stories that have sprung up from my playthrough and can have a good time with your favorite slayer(s). If you feel I missed any characters or areas it’s because I haven’t heard or seen them yet and I’m writing based on what inspiration comes to me.)

Amy:

-Amy won’t immediately admit it, but sometimes she wonders if she made the right choice in giving up her seat to other people on a previous evacuation flight. It can be hard to keep up the morale, but then you remind her that it was thanks to that which let the two of you meet, and that since then Amy (and the others) have saved so many innocent lives. Not only did Amy make the right choice, you remind her that so many people owe everything to her because of it.

-Sometimes she forgets to work out the kinks in her muscles, and likes to say that she can handle it. But when you put your hands on her and begin working the knots out of her shoulders and back, she melts into your touch and allows herself to be vulnerable with you.

-Always appreciates when you can bring her some chewing gum, especially if it has some good flavor to it or has a nice scent, so she can use it to ignore the rotting stench in the air around the zombies.

-Whenever you start humming or singing or playing the Rocky montage music it just causes Amy to laugh uncontrollably. It gives her that little bit more spirit, and she returns the favor by sometimes acting like a sports announcer when you are training in gym back at Emma’s mansion.

-She always loves giving you a quick peck of a kiss after a successful fight. If you want more you’ve got to catch her (good luck, she can easily run circles around you).

-Once when you were alone, she admitted it was always her dream to win the gold at the Paralympics, but that she’d happily give it up to spend the rest of her life with you safe and away from all the fighting and killing. Sometimes when she thinks no one is looking, she has a little cross she will pull out and use to pray, and she prays for your health and safety, and that if anything happens to her, that you will survive and heal from the loss of her.

Bruno:

-Nearly got shocked to death trying to charge his phone from a Shocking Walker, but you managed to shove them away with a rubber tire, and saved Bruno’s life, this is how you both met, and he gave you directions back to Emma’s mansion where the others could help him, he’s been on you like glue since then.

-If you let him, he will go on and on about whatever internet based shows or media he’s into, and will give your stuff at least a three episode try before he makes a decision of if he’s into it or not.

-Sometimes can get too far into Gen-Z slang when talking about you, to the point you have no idea what he’s saying, but from the joy in his eyes you know he cares about you and is praising you.

-He has dozens of music playlists saved on his phone, three of them are specifically tailored to you, for you, or which remind him of you.

-Over at the Goat Pen mansion he acted like a DJ and got on the mike, announcing to all the zombies that could hear about how amazing you are and how the Zeds better run because the two of you were gonna make today special by going for a world record in zombie kills. 

-Once got super pissed off when some influencer survivor started insulting your fashion choices and he practically spoke in tongues from how he swapped languages in his anger and just couldn’t even focus on his words. No one talks bad about his lover, especially not some fake ass industry plant looking influencer who sold out to the big companies before they even hit it big. 

Carla:

-Carla is proud of her size and strength, never missing a chance to boast about it, especially if you show signs of being into it. When you cuddle or sleep together, you are absolutely the little spoon, and sometimes she likes to joke about crushing your head between her thighs, but if you act like you like it she will start blushing hard and have no idea what to say next.

-She likes to boost your confidence by sometimes letting you one up her during a sparring match at the Gym back in Emma’s house. Half of fighting is keeping the proper mindset, and the other half is a mix of skill and training.

-If you complain too much about how hard it is building up your muscles she will make a challenge. If you can build up your muscle mass to a certain level without enhancers or other methods of cheating, then she will start training naked with you. Is she joking? You have to get those gains to find out!

-Carla likes to be on point when fighting Zeds, trusting you to have her back while she handles the bigger enemies up ahead. She always tells you to stand back whenever you encounter Crushers.

-Genuinely hates the insect swarm walkers, or any other infected covered in insects. More than once you’ve had to brush them off of her or tell her there is nothing crawling in her hair. She’s a little embarrassed about it, but prefers not talking about it and just crushing more Zeds under her feet.

-When the two of you sit together, Cala’s always putting an arm around you and keeping you close to her, and if she’s very relaxed then she will lean her head over on your own.

Jacob:

-Won’t admit it, but he’s got a thing for cowboys and you once caught him wearing some scavenged red cowboy outfit, with a hat and boots and belt, etc. He got so embarrassed when you found him, but brightened up once you played along and reassured him there was nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no dress code for the apocalypse, and so long as he is happy, you are happy.

-Jacob is absolutely the kind of guy to roleplay in the bedroom with you (especially if it feeds into his love for old Westerns), and will play along with your own fantasies if you play along with his. 

-If you have a major issue with his smoking he will try (emphasis on try) to get it under control, but you’re gonna have to get him a lot of nicotine gum or patches. Though you could also distract him from needing to smoke by sharing a kiss with him each time the urge hits him.

-Once you had a night terror (sadly common for everyone these days) while sleeping next to him, and his normally devil-may-care, class clown, demeanor dropped. He was incredibly gentle with you, asking you if you were okay, and willing to stay up all night, just holding you until you drifted off to a more comfortable sleep again. 

-Would love to introduce you to his family, but is a little nervous as he sometimes feels that you are too good for him, and could do better than him. A fear you always remind him is untrue. You love him no matter what.

-It is slowly becoming a thing for the two of you to try and one up each other with jokes, and while it aggravates the others to hear the constant comedy routine between the both of you, its the happiest either of you have been in a while. 

Ryan:

-Absolutely has a ‘Fireman’ voice he slips into (both consciously and unconsciously) when he’s trying to impress you or put you at ease. Gets a blush if you bring it up to him when he’s doing it unconsciously. 

-Is always happy to share stories with you about his brother, but sometimes he will get sad and worry his brother might be hurt or dead...or infected. Whenever those fears come, you chase them away with a firm hug, kiss, or a promise that his brother is okay and will be the best man at your wedding.

-Is the best hypeman of the entire group when it comes to working out at the gym and always knows what to say to help you complete a set and build up your strength for battles to come.

-Whenever you feel bad about your body, Ryan will remind you of how perfect you really are. With just a gentle hold of his hand, and the shine in his eyes, its as if you are catching a second wind when you were at your lowest point.

-Ryan actually ran through fire (thanks to having real firefighter’s pants and boots) to pull you out of danger, and pulled off a good fireman’s carry to get you to safety when some oil caught fire during a fight with the undead.

-Ryan sometimes likes to get a tan when the group takes a day off, and likes to make sure he stretches or does poses when he thinks you’re watching. Sometimes it works, and other times hilarity ensues.

General group headcanons:

-If you can convince the others to try a tabletop RPG together, Luciana will instantly jump in as the GM, though she seems to hate D&D for reasons she will not explain. (Bruno has a bet going that its because Andrea fell for the Satanic panic nonsense). But for just about every RPG out there Luciana has a PDF of it ready to go, even super obscure ones almost no one plays. She’s a big nerd about the lore, theories, and stats about each game and will go on about it till she’s too exhausted to talk.

-Bruno makes movie references and got Carla laughing when he once compared her to the character Byron from Mars Attacks when he started punching out a bunch of Martians single handedly because Carla had been doing the same against a swarm of weaker Shamblers and 1 hit KO’d almost a dozen Shamblers.

-Whenever someone in the group wants to get intimate, everyone else runs interference for them so they aren’t interrupted or ruin the moment.

-Andrea has started to warm up to you the most out of all the Slayers and sometimes packs you a lunch if you’re going to be out with the group for the whole day. 

-If you can find a proper mixtape of Sam B’s songs (even beyond ‘Who do you voodoo bitch?’) he will be in a good mood at someone recognizing his songs beyond his one-hit-wonder song.

Back at Emma’s Mansion: 

-There is a general rule of ‘No Politics’ at the safehouses. Everyone has their own opinion and tensions can run hot after a difficult mission, the last thing anyone needs is fists being thrown over idiot politicians thousands of miles away. (Given some of the encounters and revelations about influencers around Hell-A, this rule is also starting to apply to them too).

-You, Sam-B, and Luciana are the ones actually making notes in the Zompedia based on encounters you’ve all had and what you’ve observed in the field. Luciana wants to turn it into a real zombie survival guide.

-Elizabeth has a near encyclopedic knowledge of random facts and data from all the different books she’s read.

-Curtis will teach you how to shoot his hunting rifle, but make the shots count, he doesn’t have infinite bullets. 

-Carlos helps you with fixing your equipment and learning to clean it without cutting yourself. 

-While Amy is the most mature of the group and tries her best to set a good example, Dani is effectively becoming team mom. She’s rough around the edges but will tell you what you need to hear even if its a tongue lashing for having messed up. 

Movie Night:

-Amy loves picking Forest Gump and will always swear that the original book is a piece of shit, and that the movie is so much better.

-Bruno picks action or heist movies, or wants to watch HBO miniseries.

-Carla’s favorite choices are the Keanu Reeves John Constantine movie, or the first Matrix movie.

-Dani is into musicals. Laugh and she will smack you on the mouth. 

-Jacob loves anything that has a Wester/Cowboy vibe to it.

-Ryan has watched that old Disney version of John Carter of Mars like four times now. 

-Carlos loves sports movies, especially from the Rocky or Creed series of movies. Though he also has a soft spot for Stand and Deliver (1988), he might be convinces to watch BSG (2003) because it also has James Edward Olmos.

-Amanda the influencer is no longer allowed to pick movies.

-Curtis loves picking his own movies and sharing behind the scenes stories about cast and crew.

-Emma never watches her own movies, while Sam B only ever wants to watch Emma’s movies.

-Elizabeth picks movie adaptations of her favorite books, and then comments the entire time about how close or different it is to the book.

-Luciana picks the nerdiest movies you can imagine, but lately has been picking the Evil Dead series, and will totally geek out if anyone quotes Ash while killing zombies.

-Andrea loves historic dramas.

-You know your own choices. The hard part is finding unbroken DVDs in Hell-A and bringing them back to the safehouse to watch. Surprisingly Patton had a couple of them.

In Patton’s Safehouse: 

-Patton really appreciated you taking a gentle tone with him, without talking down to him like a child, or getting jumpy like he was going to bite you. For this he gave you a key to his bunker.

-Has a hidden popcorn machine he uses for when anyone actually sits to watch movies with him and tends to shush people if they talk too much. 

-After the end of the game, you and the other slayers turn his safehouse into a shelter for other survivors and a home away form home for you all. 

-You are very particular about making sure Patton’s safehouse is not messy, in case he ever comes back.

[faolanmoon]

Random Short Solomon headcannons

Stfu I know I’m literally posting this the day after his birthday ( which is also my mother’s birthday) but I had more important shit yesterday like my mother’s birthday being the next day.SOME OF THESE ARE CRACK.

He’s probably forgotten to die at least more than once. I just find this to be funny as hell honestly .You can’t convince me that if he physically aged he’d look so old he’d like he forgot he’s passed his life’s expiration date even though he doesn’t have one. Dude just gets in a situation that’s supposed to be fatal is just like “wait I’m supposed to die?”

Is probably the only MF who has tried challenging Leviathan to the Devildom’s equivalent to Smash Bros. before MC that has come close to beating him.Levi almost lost ONCE due to RNG and Solomon spamming, and he refused to play another game with him for a long time because of the spamming.

100% has a stick enchanted with knockback II in Minecraft called the “Yeet Stick” he uses primarily for trolling. Especially on Asmo who doesn’t wear armor, like ever. Levi has kicked him out of the game several times over the Yeet Stick. Only MC is safe from the Yeet Stick because they have “Hide-the-body-anatior ”( basically a netherite sword with all the best enchantments possible) and can one shot his ass without proper armor.(Levi is the same, he just doesn’t have a funny name for his netherite sword like MC does)

He’s the reason why the ice cream machine at McDonald’s is always broke, don’t @ me. He’s so bad at cooking he couldn’t even work at fast food.

Shouldn’t know what Gen Z slang is because of his age, but somehow does. It’s scary because of how he’s able to blend into modern human culture, not as scary as Diavolo trying to be trendy and just being cringe, but it’s still “how do you do fellow kids?”.

Is not allowed within 100ft of Lucifer sometimes because he gets so pissed of at Solomon trying to make a pact with him. Solomon, it’s literally like my dad bringing home the milk, it’s never happening.

Speaking of dads I feel like he’d probably have the worst dad jokes, I would list an example ,but not even I would get it.

Would be the type of mf to shitpost on the main account. Idk how ppl on Instagram shitpost , I grew up on the SparkleCat and Sparkledog days of DeviantArt, you think I use Instagram? I just know it’s what Devilgram is based off of.

Speaking of one of the social media platforms I know more about, whatever the Devildom’s equivalent of Tumblr is, he Levi and MC 100% have one. Solomon only has an account for chaos and some of the shitpost this beautiful Superhell( complementary) has meanwhile Levi is here for fandom stuff and is 100% a Tumbler Vet, Mc has an account for both reasons.

Solomon is also the only person besides Levi and MC who would know wtf Discord is and would have one. Remember the time before Rhythm bots 1 and 2 shut down in 2021? Yeah he’d 100% be trolling in VCs with those bots. (Also before someone in 2023 tries to be a smart ass check the date before you “Well actually the Rhythm bots are back as if 2023 🤓” because it’s not 2023 as I write and publish now is it?) The very last thing he ever had a Rhythm bot play was The Sound of Silence ( or more commonly “Hello Darkness My old Friend) on that famous day in September 2021 when the bots shut down. After the bots shut down he’d instead troll with Discord voice mods. Besides trolling, Solomon would be a massive shitposter when a hard drive of memes that are no where near as many as Levi has.

When no one else is around ( especially Luke) Barbatos goes full Gordon Ramsay on him.

Beel can be heard weeping whenever he smells Solomon’s cooking.

Him and Mc are the only humans who don’t fear God nor death. Not even 13 can make them fear death.

Mammon, Luke , Simeon, Raphael and 13 get trolled the most by him.

Do not let him or anyone in general discover MC’s fan base, fanfics about MC, or any ships involving MC. He’d be the one most chaotic fans MC has the moment he does. Would be the type to make shitposts out of MC ships and use it to fuck with Mammon and Levi who totally wouldn’t already have started shipping wars.

And on fucking with Mammon he’s 100% been robbed by him and would use magic to fuck with Mammon since he’s why we can’t have shit in the Devildom or Detroit.

Solomon and MC are both Asmo’s feral gremlins that should be feared, Solomon is just less bloodthirsty than MC.

None of the Henrys trust him, not even 2.0. Henry 1.0 would kill him without hesitation while Henry 2.0 flares his gills up when he sees him.

[celeste-clearwater-06]

Random Headcanons (Thorin's Company)

In celebration of reaching 100 followers, I've decided to write these completely random headcanons right off the top of my head! These are just little cute and strange oddities each character would have!! (Featuring our favorite character, Y/N 😌💗)

Fair warning, this turned out WAY LONGER than expected, so just be prepared 😅

Please like and reblog if you enjoy it!!

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Okay, lets just start off by agreeing...

Kili hates spiders

Like, just a deep-seated hatred for those things

And the ones in Mirkwood gave him serious PTSD

But he especially despises the little ones that crawl all over you, up in your hair

Any time he sees one its just-

"FilifilifILIGETITAWAY FROM ME!!"

And everyone's just laughing at him while he's on the brink of tears 😂😂💀

Kili doesn't really scream, more like a gasp of disgust

HOWEVER-

Fili does scream

And he secretly has a super high pitched scream

And although he does a reasonable job at pitching it down when he's aware...

There are occasions where the older brother will let one slip and he's teased so badly for it 💀

There was one instance where Fili threw a daddy long leg at Kili, which made him yell

Then proceeded to shriek at the top of his lungs when he tripped over a fucking log while trying to run away 😂

And by hearing it, you and the company thought it was a woman in distress, come barreling over, weapons drawn and war faces on

Nope, just Fili who tripped over a dead tree 🙄

Honestly, nobody believed it was him at first

Also, let's just say, canonically, that you dropped out of the sky into middle Earth (like literally every x reader fic on this platform)

And are a part of Gen Z

And let me tell you, teaching the company Gen Z slang is a BALL

The one's who use it the most are surprisingly Dwalin and Gloin 😂😂😂

Most of the time they just say it if you ask them to because they want to learn all about your world and "unique language"

Because let's be honest, hearing Dwalin say

"Shawty???? wHOT ON ARTH ISSAT SUPPOSED TA MEAN?!!1?"

DEAD-

Or even Thorin sometimes

"Bruh? I'm afraid I do not understand..."

pLEASE tell Bilbo and Bombur that their food is 'bussing' 😂

"I'm sorry... It's what?"

And speaking of teaching things...

You and Bofur have an epic handshake 😎💜

It was something you taught him in the span of a few days, and he learned very quickly

It never fails to impress the company (Thorin pretends not to 🙄✋, but he's the most impressed out of everyone)

You and Bofur are like the 'cool uncle' and 'favorite cousin' if you catch my drift

He can be a terrible influence on some of the young ones, and you are everyone's favorite 😂

Also, just to add something for Bofur, I think he would be an ABSOLUTE GOD at making shadow puppets

Ya know, almost everyone can do the basics like a rabbit and dog, but this dwarf can make crazy shit like a deer, butterflies, he even did AZOG a few times

Don't even ask me how 😳

So completely different subject, but now let's just talk about our 2 favorite grandpa's, Gandalf and Balin 😌💗

I have a secret about them....

They have a club

And what about, you may ask?

Shipping the member of their company

Now these two have been around longer than anyone else in their travelling party, so they are not oblivious to young blossoming romance

Typically they don't talk about it that much, but whenever they catch you and your love interest, whoever it may be, flirting or lightening up at the mention of each others names

These two just share glances, smile, maybe roll their eyes at your obliviousness

Something like;

Gandalf: " 😏'

Balin: "😌"

And NOBODY EVEN KNOWS (well, maybe you do, but you've decided not to tell anyone)

These two are the definition of subtle hints

And you've dubbed it "The Romance Grandpa's"

And they just laugh at it, but think it suits very well, though they insist it's not a club, just a 2 part insight

Elrond may have even gotten in on it too 😂

So everyone knows that the Company loves stories

Whether it be telling or listening, they are just in love

So, when they get tired of listening to the same old tale of Smaug claiming Erebor, they turn to you,

who just so happens to have an endless supply of Disney and fantasy movies locked in your brain by childhood memories

So ofc, you're going to tell them all about princes, princesses, magic, etc.

Their personal favorites are The Princess Bride and Beauty and The Beast

Were very confused about Snow White and the Seven Dwarves,

So now Fili, Kili, Bofur, and Dwalin WILL NOT STOP SINGING "HI-HO"

Just walking along the trail to Erebor, those four are singing, and Gloin has decided to add wHISTLING TO THE MIX

Thorin has lost it 😭💀

Okay, so everyone knows that Ori is more than exceptional at art

I mean, he's just so talented with his hand in drawing and painting

I feel like he would write some form of fanfiction as well

Ya know, maybe not like x reader stuff, but just sweet little fluffy stories about him and the fair dwarrow/dwarrowdam he fell in love within the blue mountains 🥴💗

(Or about him and you, given the circumstances 😉)

I also feel that Bilbo and Dori are secretly very good at art, they just haven't really discovered it yet!

Maybe Bilbo, at drawing his home, the plants he grows in his garden or the occasional bluebird that will perch on his window in the morning

And Dori would just make beautiful paintings of his brothers, more drawn towards things like scenery (lakes forests etc.)

Now, a while back, I had a list of headcanons that included characters who would have their nails painted (per the anti toxic-masculinity movement)

But I feel that I could have added more characters, say Ori, Bofur and most certainly Bilbo

ESPECIALLY ORI

He just lives the color, the shine, maybe even the smell of nail polish, and watching you concentrate on painting them 🥺

And he's also VERY good at painting your nails as well, so that's a win-win

Speaking of beauty...

every

single

one

of these boys are suckers for flower crowns

It doesn't matter if they pretend not to, grumble, complain when you put the crowns on their head,

THEY LOVE FLOWER CROWNS 💐

Forever and always

You, Fili, Kili, Dori, and Ori are usually the ones making them near the campfire or in the road when you see a bundle of them as you pass

And Thorin just nods his head, maybe rolls his eyes, and smirks whenever you give one to him (#dramaking)

Dwalin just "hmphs"

Gandalf smiles and thanks you (#1 grandpa, next to Balin 😌)

And Bifur really appreciates flower crowns as well

Teaching bofur how to make flower crowns 😩

It's like a little craft club on a rainy day!! (And Nori loves it more than anything since it keeps Mother Hen Dori occupied, rather than bossing him around 🙄)

Now let's focus on the leader of our company, since he needs his spotlight!

Thorin is AMAZING at getting/making gifts for people

I don't even know how, but he is!!

You know how he never let go of that grudge with the fucking Mirkwood elves?

Yeah, that memory of his comes in handy when it comes to birthdays and Holidays (Durin's Day for example)

One day, you had been feeling stories of home, and how you dearly missed your old stuffed animal

So on your birthday, Thorin had asked for help from the company to gather their supplies and skills together

And made you a new one 😩💜🥺

Dori sewed, Dwalin hunted for the fur, Bofur made it a little wooden hat, Fili and Kili put little braids on the top of its head, Ori gave it a little bow of ribbon

And so, on your next birthday, they all presented you with this ADORABLE lion stuffed animal and you just fUCKING CRIED, HOLY SHIT-

All in all, the company may have some quirks, some oddities, yes

But their your company

And that means they'll forever love you, and you them

Because that's what family's for 💗💗

(And throwing spiders at Kili 😈💗)

[stilldani24]

No Cap

corpse husband x chaoticdumbass!reader oneshot

words: 816

request: “corpse’s gf is kinda like sykkuno where she’s not really that hip with the kids? like she doesn’t know much slang and gen z stuff despite being like 1 or 2 years younger than him? she’s also really flirtatious so she doesn’t realize that she’s flirting with people. all around she’s just wholesome but clueless” from anonymous.

a/n: less flirting, more chaos. this just fits chaoticdumbass!reader so much better. 

You’ve been playing with this squad for months now. Ever since Among Us became the popular game to play over quarantine, almost all of your streams have been that. Aside from a few games of Phasmophobia or other random games, Among Us was your go to. It made you feel close to your friends during this pandemic, even if you had met them online and never actually seen them face to face. But once it died down and everything began going back to normal, you were sure it would be an inevitability. 

You were introduced to this particular group through Pokimane. You were both Canadian streamers, so you had collaborated a number of times, and when the game was kicking off she immediately invited you to join one of the first streams she did on the game. That was where you had met Valkyrae and Sykkuno, and the three of you clicked right away. So, of course, it was almost a guarantee you would meet Corpse.

You became best friends after the first twenty minutes of meeting him. The both of you just kept joking and laughing with each other, disrupting the meetings whenever a body was reported and many clips of the two of you were uploaded to YouTube and TikTok just laughing because of the things you would say to each other and just being all around chaotic when you would kill the other or just chasing each other around the map. 

From there, you met the rest of the core group and now you only really streamed with them and it would be chaos the entire time. Especially when the proximity chat mod was introduced. Today, you were, of course, streaming with the Squad™: Rae, Sykkuno, Sean, Ethan, Ludwig, Toast, Poki, yourself, Corpse, along with the random addition of Dream. You loved Dream, your real life best friend loved the DreamSMP so you were honoured to play with him. You were playing with proximity chat and it was fucking wild. 

You were playing on the Skeld map, and you were impostors with Corpse. You had just turned the lights off and were running to electrical from the right side of the map when you heard Corpse and Dream. 

“How are you following me, Corpse, it’s dark!” you heard Dream yell as you stood still in storage, Corpse just laughing the entire time as Dream panicked. “I can’t see you, how do you see me?! How are you following me, Corpse?! No!!”

Corpse then shut the door leading into storage just as Dream ran into it, cutting Corpse off from following him. 

“Hah, you missed!” Dream yelled right as you killed him, sending you and Corpse into a laughing fit as Dream’s yell was cut off by him dying. The both of you were just scream-laughing as you ran to the other side of the map away from Dream’s body. Corpse’s was more silent but you were just losing it. Dream’s body was then reported, you and Corpse trying to stop laughing. 

“Okay, what the fuck,” Sean was also laughing. “All I hear is Corpse and Y/N laughing in storage as we’re fixing the lights and I went to go check and Dream is dead in there.”

That just sent you and Corpse laughing again, unable to speak or defend yourselves because the situation was just so fucking hilarious. You were sent into space, followed by Corpse the next round and then the round was over. 

“I can’t fucking breathe!” you wheezed as you gasped for air and laughed at the same time. Dream was yelling at the both of you for killing him like that but you were just crying so hard from the laughing fit you were still under. 

“That was the hardest I’ve laughed ever, no cap,” Corpse chuckled now as the both of you calmed down. 

“No cap? The fuck does that mean?” you asked now, full of energy from the sheer stupidness of the last round. 

“You can’t be serious, Y/N, you’re the youngest in the game and you don’t know what that means? You’re a disgrace to Gen Z,” Dream now laughed. 

“Hey, shut the fuck up, you’re the baby. I’m 22,” you now told him. “But seriously, what does that mean? Stop laughing at me!”

They were all laughing at you now. You were the definition of your generation, just a chaotic dumbass ready to die at any given opportunity and you didn’t know your own damn lingo. 

“It means that you’re telling the truth. So saying ‘cap’ means you’re lying,” Corpse explained to you now, but you could tell he was still trying not to laugh as hard as the others were. “So like...you’re good at this game is cap.”

“HEY!” you yelled at him, making the others send into another laughing fit as you exited the game and left the Discord call. 

[chocolate-parfait]

I've never sent an ask before so I apologize if I'm doing something wrong, but could I maybe request some more Gen Z mc headcanons? I just love the idea of mc having a platonic younger/older sibling dynamic especially with Napoleon and Jean 🥺👉👈

dw, dw! here it is✨

Gen Z!MC (pt. 2) - ikevamp headcanons (Napoleon & Jean)

Napoleon

You and Napoleon get along amazingly from the start. Sure, there is a generational gap and many of the things you do or laugh at cannot be explained, but believe me when I say that his charisma and open mindedness make up for it, a lot.

Being the naturally caring person he is, he immediately takes you under his wing (he basically adopts you, like he did with Jean and Isaac). No one is allowed to lay a hand on you for the whole month, else they'd have to catch his hands and sword. Related to this, no matter how much you tell him that you can fight on your own, he will NOT let you. First, he will have you join on his sparring sessions with Jean and teach you the basics, maybe even tell you a thing or two on how to throw a punch, but he'd rather have you safe and sound than covered in bruises and bloody scars.

This may paint him in a slightly overprotective light, but you probably won't even notice it unless you're throwing yourself headfirst into danger. A creep is harassing a woman in the street? Napoleon will deal with it before you can move another step. He was a soldier and an emperor, he has fought for a future of peace and equality, and you, the fruit of his hard work, should avoid any kind of bloodshed.

On the other hand, if the fight is verbal, he will 100% support you and cheer you on. He absolutely adores it whenever he sees the eloquence and unwavering confidence with which you defend your ideals, and he wonders whether a father would be feeling the same way.

Another thing he appreciates about you, is your humor. Although sometimes it kinda upsets him and makes him think about the type of society you must be coming from (self deprecating jokes, mostly), he cannot help but get a good laugh or two whenever he sees you laughing at the most nonsensical things.

One day, he, you and Arthur were talking about your life in the 21st century, when you happened to mention a friend of yours. "..oh yeah! This actually reminds me of my friend, Joe. Though it's too bad that he died of ligma" "I'm so sorry to heart that... what's... what's ligma though? A new illness?" "🕴 L I G M A B A L L S 🕴" im sorry this joke is overused but its 1AM and i saw it on a jujutsu kaisen tiktok pls beare with me

(+ you and Arthur falling to the ground, tears in your eyes and the most horrible whale noises filling up the whole room)

Other times you come up with the most original and unusual phrases that don't match your usual speech at all. "MC, what were you doing before coming here?" "I had sworn an oath of solitude 'till the blight was purged from mine lands" "What..?" "I was in quarantine because of a global pandemic" Oh.

When the time comes for you to say goodbye, he will, of course, feel a heavy dagger in his heart, but he'll gladly let you return to your peaceful time, the place where you belong to the most. Knowing you, you'll surely be fine, after all.

Jean

He's confused at first. You're young, somewhere near his age back when he was alive, and according to what you told the others you come from a """relatively""" peaceful time. without considering police brutality, discriminations, wars in certain countries, and a pandemic. Let's just say that many of us can lead a life without going to war and such But why, why are you so cursed?

Saying that he's taken aback would be an understatement. He simply cannot get more than half of what you talk about, he's not a social butterfly and he struggles with being open with others; you, however, don't seem to mind it too much. You approach him, fearlessly and with genuinely good intentions only. He resists and tries putting distance between you, but there's something, something that makes him want to talk to you, laugh with you and understand you more.

Your arrival shows him that which he could not be. A simple teenager. An innocent person who peacefully lives without having to worry about traitors, incoming battles and the sight of dead comrades in a puddle of their down blood. You look so carefree in whatever you do, even when nervous and hesitant, and yet you do not lack depth. He has seen you defending your principles, the fire in your eyes and spirit wholly concentrated on your interlocutors. Could he have been like that, too, if he had been given the chance?

Ever since meeting you, he's become more and more determined to learn the basics which he had completely missed during a time of war. Reading and writing, for example. He's not as naive as to completely let go of all his sins, but the untainted side of him, which had survived so many years of slaughter and had tied the adjectives "saint" and "pure" to his name, pushed him to work hard for those simple yet rewarding goals.

He's utterly at a loss for words when you propose to help him out though, and even more when he sees the lack of judgmental sneer in your eyes. Could you really be so innocent? Or perhaps it's a sign of your maturity and benevolence? Maybe you two are not so different, after all. Sure, you may be one hell of an oddball, but he surely isn't that normal, either

Whether he likes it or not, Jean subconsciously starts considering you as a younger sibling, and he feels the need to protect you by sacrificing himself; he's the only one with stained hands, you should remain the way you are. Pure and childlike, like he used to be. This will bring you to butt heads every now and then, because yours is not a kindness that stems from ignorance, but from open mindedness and awareness. In the end, you're both mutually taking care of each other, and it's so wholesome that someone's younger brother might feel a bit jealous of your bond.

Teach him some modern songs and some slangs (Jean to the other residents: wassup, my fellow homies!), tell him about popular blockbusters and bestseller stories, do some popular challenges with him, like the chubby bunny one but using macarons instead. Jean will naturally develop a smile, and his usual dark aura will slowly dissipate, like a clear sky after a thunderstorm.

After the month passes by, he gets more and more nervous as the day of your departure gets closer. He's used to saying goodbyes before heading into battle, prepared not to come back alive anymore, but to do it with someone who will be alive, even if years and years after your present time? That's definitely a first for him. Nevertheless, knowing the time where you'll be going back to, he feels reassured, and is finally able, perhaps for the first time in his turbulent life, to say "goodbye" with a smile on his face

[toasty-bat]

Ok this was going on too long to be put in replies so here we are. Tramp Stamp, the "pop rock" "band".

Okay so. The members. Marissa Maino, has released a few EPs in the past, as has the guitarist Caroline Baker. The drummer, Paige Blue, is a songwriter with a couple of published songs.

However, for each member their former music and style was COMPLETELY different to how they make music now. Sure, styles can change, but this much this quickly? They each apparently spontaneously dyed their hair similarly neon colours at around the same time, before even forming the band.

Their music is also weird. It's like Blink-182 of it was modernized and then diluted down to buzzwords only. It's also clearly supposed to be the sort of "riot girl feminist" stuff seen in pop punk in the early 2000s - except again, it's diluted and "off". Their lyrics all sound like something specifically crafted to appeal to Tumblr users and young people on TikTok, and it seems to bank on the idea that because the target is young, they won't really remember late-90s to early-2000s pop rock and so won't know why they sound "off".

The band has barely started existing, but despite having no sold songs or EPs or albums under their belt, they already have stan accounts, a well-established website, and well-designed merchandise at high prices. Not something a brand new normal band does.

They're VERY defensive whenever they're criticized for anything. Recently they were called out for stealing their name from another band, @/thetrampstamps-blog (these guys are real), to which they responded "we don't like white cis men!!". It was quickly pointed out that every member of their ""band"" is cis, and white.

Everything about them seems manufactured. Their brand-new instagram is full of clearly professionally taken shots in studio lighting with full professional makeup and hair (not necessarily weird for a band....unless that band was created less than a month ago and hasn't even released a debut EP yet). They regularly use outdated slang and act like when old people write teenage characters - for example, one of their TikTok songs contains lines like "Tumblr girl, sk8ter boy", "I'd rather die than hook up with a straight white guy" (????) and "it's some major fuckin tea".

Their lyrics and captions may sound plausible when they're separate, but when it's all put together it reads like an AI-generated Buzzfeed article about current youth trends.

Their website claims their music is "the kind of stuff women talk about with their friends, but no one has ever put it into this kind of music before" (this is apparently a quote from one of the band members.) I'm sorry, nobody has ever done this before? Doesn't your band claim to take direct influence from early-2000s feminist punk scenes?? Have you ever listened to a feminist punk band before, ms "definitely in a feminist punk band"???

As for the "we hate straight white men" stuff, one of the members is openly married to a straight white guy. Not saying you can't be married and also be a feminist pop punk icon, but..their entire thing is that they're "a brilliant voice on white-boy privilege and fragile masculinity". (That's supposedly another quote from one of the band members. Definitely a real human person thing to say).

The band claims to be emo as well, but couldn't recognize MCR music when asked to name MCRs most popular songs. Not that it's impossible, but how likely is it that an emo/pop-punk band taking influence from the 2000s and early 2010s doesn't know what MCR is???

(TW: Sexual assault, alcohol for this bit)

One of their songs describes raping a man by getting him drunk and pressuring him into sex. Whether this is industry-plant related or not, this clearly isn't some "voice for the youth" shit that anyone Gen Z is interested in.

The irony is that they're also connected to Dr. Luke, a cishet white male who owns their publishing house... and who has multiple SA accusations against women (notably Kesha)

(TW over)

Also, they claim to be Queer Punk, but 2 of them are openly cishet. Now, I don't believe you should pressure public figures into coming out, but I can say as someone who enjoys the queer punk scene, I've never seen a Queer Pop Punk band made up of 2/3 cishet people.

On one of Marissa (the singer's) tumblr accounts before it was deactivated, the DNI said "-Phobic against any sexuality, including straight!"

(...what about the whole "we hate straight men and we're queer punk"... thing...)

Tldr: Everything from their social media presence to the way they dress to their song lyrics/style sounds like something old people in suits would imagine appeals to the young generation. They specifically targeted punk and queer spaces and appear to exploit them, and in response to criticism they either explode at whoever is criticizing them, or they delete accounts and immediately recreate new ones.

At first it seems plausible that they're just weird, but the further down the rabbit hole you go, the less and less real it all is. It reaches a point where you see them post and it feels like you're watching an AI that was fed information on Gen Z and is randomly generating content based on that information.

(don't judge me I fell down the rabbit hole HARD ok lmao)