#me when theres so many movies in this world i cant possibly watch them all : (
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#you know what the worst part is. this ISNT every movie on every watchlist bc i had a couple lists i decided not to include.#also this is unfortunately close to my lifetime number of logged movies on there (trying to break 1k before the end of the year)#aaaaaaa maybe in another 28 years ill be caught up.#avpost#me when theres so many movies in this world i cant possibly watch them all : (
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i hope i never stop finding new songs that remind me of you, forever ‘till i die.
Addicated with a pen - Twenty one pilots Summer’s end - Phoebe Bridgers Sidelines - Phoebe Bridgers Home again - Lucy Dacus Please Stay - Lucy Dacus
journal entries on how big the hole you left is or how much light i still hold from you. youre not gone. we are just not the same and it feels like grief. “Today is january 27 and I miss you, dad. I miss you a lot all the time so much that i actually learned to avoid thinking of you (a lie) because it always overwhelms me how much it hurts instantly and now I cant stop crying when i simply and just remember you. When I let myself remember I just feel the urge to tell someone about every little tiny thing that i know about you, about what i observed and what we were like, i wish i could make a small movie about it. I love you. I love who you are and I love our memories together. No fight could have ever changed this feeling. Theres nothing you could say to make me hate you. It hurts so much to have lost who we were and our relationship as it was. With you, I felt seen and understood and the funny thing is: We could never agree on anything, but our silences were always companions to each other. I know. Things change, people change, time moves forward and takes us to different places, different versions of ourselves. Time never made sense to me. Its too slow, too fast, too anxious, forgetful. I changed, we changed, life drew us apart, I know we did it too. We are most definetely shit at talking about those things out loud and I know we doom the possibility of fixing this. I guess making peace with this fact has got me here to this feeling. Grief? How? I know you’re alive. I kind of wish I could just go back. Time does not fucking work like that, it’s the only thing i actually understand about it, dad. I came so far but having this “far” be away from you is too bittersweet to acknowledge that it’s simply a good thing to have survived and outgrown. It’s like my favourite shoes don’t fit me anymore but I’d rather walk barefoot than buying new ones and wearing them enough for them to feel like home. You were not there when I left. You were not there when I had to leave. I wish I could be angry at you for that. I got where I wanted and I lost you on the way here. I don’t care how it hurt and how haunted I was, I wish I was 18 in the car with you going anywhere, doing anything, with you and only with you.
Sitting in the garage early in the morning with tangerine and all your ideas. Bees, wood, dirt, trees, fruits, gardening, dogs. They are all you. Sleeping in the passager seat knowing you are the one driving felt safer than being at home with mom. If I start writing all out memories will I ever stop? Will there be an end? I hope not. I’m too scared to know the end of this. I do hope I never forget tho. I will write them a little at a time, so it lasts longer. “ March, 16, 2023 Watched Aftersun so many times, Sophie says she feels closer to her dad when she see’s the sun, as they share the same sky and see the same sun. Absolutely devastating when I went outside and noticed my house is way too far down to be able to see the sky. “Dad I can’t see the sky from here. I can’t remember your scent and I remember how you taught me cursive, how to paint better with a little patience, how you peeled oranges under trees, how you would sit by my side patiently when I tried to heal, on the roof of the house we thought we would live in, in the couch watching my stupid gay tv shows. You remind me of sunny mornings and trees, or they remind me of you. Sort of “your dad has your eyes... or you have his” kind of thing. I know I have my mom’s eyes. I wish they were yours, I always liked how you see the world. I miss being alone with you. I miss devoting my days to working by your side, coming home to a beer we shared in front of TV, when I was sick you started letting me pick the shows, I know that was your way of reaching for me and trying to understand, since we would never talk about it. I miss reading you, I miss getting angry that you would not say things but expected me to understand anyway and I miss that I did. Dad, I can’t see the sky from here. I want to feel close to you, but I can’t reach that feeling. Please, teach me something I don’t know. Please, repeat something you’ve said a million times, I promise I won’t say “You already told me that when we passed this same spot” Tell me about all the travels, all the places and trucks and people you’ve seen. Drive in silence by my side, I will pass you the snacks and watch the trees under the nightsky outside. Sit with me. Come home. Can I come home? Will it feel like home? I should have stolen one of your shirts, hu? I loved going to school with them, I looked cool and they smelled like you, felt safe. I wish I could wake up in the middle of the night and find you sitting in the kitchen, after coming home from work, with your coffee, milk and bread, watching TV. It always felt out of space and time, like we were in a different dimention only the night time could provide. I lost you... You left! I left. I don’t know my way back, Dad. If I find it, will you let me sing in the car on the drive back?”
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so I decided to watch danny phantom. I got 3 episodes in and I have Thoughts. im not going to liveblog it necessarily, but just, maybe post my thoughts every 3-5 episodes? because, I have thoughts. (which im sure are not NEW thoughts for dp fans, but, you know. new for me) Anyway. ep 1-3 Thoughts.
- the parents Suck. I love Jazz.
-dannys little 'actually i wanna be an astronaut :)' BABY. im adopting him and his sister. these parents suck so far lol jazz shouldnt have to deal with this and being the most responsible person in the house at age 16. HATE the 'absentminded idiot parents' trope SO much actually. it just makes me mad and makes me want to adopt these kids.
-sam...is so much like me at age 15. at least when I was having a vegan phase. not saying veganism isnt a legit thing or w/e but. my god. shes so Not Like Other Girls. lmfao. if she wanted to go to the dance, she shouldve just SAID so directly!! and I hated her just going up and being catty to Paulina for No Reason Other Than Jealousy UNPROVOKED!!! Like, if anything, the BOYS are the shallow ones, approaching Paulina based on nothing but her looks instead of getting to know her?? it would not have been shallow of her at all to turn them down, she has every right to.
-tbh the way the girls are written makes me cringe. they Deserve Better I think. anyway tbh if a girl came up to me being that rude,, im not saying paulina was RIGHT to lead danny on, but like. I can't be super mad at her for it...sam was bein. hm. rude. and in paulinas little teenager brain thought that was the fastest way to get back at her I guess, by taking the guy she may or may not be crushing on?? I just hate unnecessary rivalry between girls in shows. anyway. glad she did attempt to apologize near the end anyway. I do get that a lot of kids shows have the protags being shitty to teach a moral lesson later and show them apologizing. it still rubbed me the wrong way.
-Was also rolling my eyes at Sam's 'the gorilla needs to be FREE!!' like girl realistically if theres two left,, itll be a huge poaching target, its better to keep it with professionals so it can lead a long, healthy enriched life, and so we can have a lot of footage to teach future generations about so we at least have the memory/history preserved as well as possible! zoos and nature preserves and such can be good. focus on, idk, taking down sea world or smth. (also, the fact it turned out to be a girl gorilla,, and no one noticed until Danny got An Eyeful...of course it would have to be. you cant just tell kids watching this show that theres two male gorillas and theyll DIE FOREVER AND GO EXTINCT AFTER THAT. I GUESS??? but showing danny possessing people is fine. gotcha)
-I liked skulkers design A Lot. it (funnily enough with the episode involving an actual gorilla-) reminded me of the way the gorillaz band got drawn early on. I think its the eyes.
-the voice actor for the box ghost sounded SO familiar. so I went to his IMBD originally thinking he HAD to be a voice actor on ed edd n eddy. THIS GUY HAS VOICE ACTED IN EVERY CARTOON I GREW UP WITH. SO MANY CARTOONS AND ANIMATED MOVIES. funnily enough he was in ed edd n eddy like i thought but in a very very minor role of one of the parents?? I think I just assumed he had to have voiced something I used to watch a lot of. actually, hes voice acted everything, ever. and has been since the 80s, and still does today. Crazy. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0667326/ LOOK AT THIS MAN'S TALENT.
-box ghost has the right idea tho. I wanna haunt a fed ex truck and get that rush of Open Packages Serotonin for my whole afterlife. king shit. (I also just love very silly villains and this show is checking boxes for me. love the monster of the week format stuff)
-did valerie actually cancel on tucker,, or did the boys just lie to take sam to the dance. that seems so unfair to val but we never SAW unless I was looking away. valerie u deserve a date sweetie i am SO sorry. if u already made a commitment to valerie I think sam can take HERSELF TBH. she wanted to be passive aggressive about the dance, it couldve been a lesson in 'just say what you want and dont expect your friends to be mindreaders' lol
-'boys hugging makes every year book funny' TOP 10 SAM HOMOPHOBIC MOMENTS?? let them cuddle while they nap girl wtf. I KNOOOW I know this is how a lot of cartoons were written in the early 2000s but I hate it.
-tucker being freaked out by the cute ghost girl wanting to dance with him at the dance?? no sir. you WANTED A GIRL TO WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU!! and your best friend is half ghost!! tucker top ten ghostphobic moments!!! (also, her having a dragon amulet is a BONUS. coward)
-danny can just. possess people. ALRIGHT! casually terrifying. love that.
#tldr: jazz is best girl so far#and im the kids new dad!#sanchoyorambles#danny phantom#long post#dp thoughts
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random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee
hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk
most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !
lucifer
i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed
his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne
has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg
aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin
listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)
not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving
really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻
mammon
has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates
his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying
he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek
he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines
he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before
listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY
levi
lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks
probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!
until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻♀️
classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!
kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet
cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast
can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏
satan
listens to country music you cant change my mind
smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.
he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED
but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips
do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.
if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor
is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity
asmo
dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever
he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)
has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits
his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon
listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock
as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!
opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things
i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music
has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...
beel
i feel like he is SO SHY
like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything
i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well
smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby
he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging
driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫
dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out
definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA
belphie
he reminds me of randall from monsters inc
smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning
but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan
has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻
with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before
lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄
dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish
similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories
the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.
diavolo
once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan
def an ariana grande stan too 😌
choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do
also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.
his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻♀️ IDK ok anyway
currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!
this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han
not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it
smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.
barbatos
very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof
he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)
on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way
mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.
BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y
listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily
have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others
when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho
one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere
solomon
was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...
was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.
he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.
doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff
never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.
due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too
similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen
he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to
simeon
another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho
angel country music exists and simeon invented it
if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants
wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach
he can speak german...i can feel it
uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos
has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad
"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀
luke
his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!
secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home
so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt
luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun
i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio
but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to
smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day
#i cant wait for finals to be over#HASHTAG TIME HCNDNDNSN SO MANY#obey me tingz#obey me#obey me!#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me beelzebub#obey me beel#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me luke#obey me headcanons#obey me! headcanons#om! headcanons#omswd#obey me imagines
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On Love
So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners:
Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible
Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything
Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.
El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh
Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college
A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited
Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me
Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love
to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:
Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.
H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour
Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart
Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet
O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D
to beautiful quotes:
Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN
Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)
Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things
Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne
Mary: "Love is watching someone die."
Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"
Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"
V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?
Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!
Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka
Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention
to practices of love:
Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro
A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.
L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.
Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)
Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift
Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.
Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random
Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror
to crushes and potential loves:
Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.
Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine
Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants
Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else
Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes
Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still
Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me
to the trials of love:
Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk
Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it
Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.
Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love
L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start
Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him
Sean: Good luck it dont exist
Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3
13: I don’t know anymore
M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol
to beloved characters:
Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension
Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love
to advice and prose:
Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...
Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.
Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love
H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love
Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures
Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others
to the small, the simple, and the sweet:
Ireal: Poems
O: Flowers
Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.
Ad: we love LOVE
A: <3
Isak: small things
H: intense
Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away
S: her
E: <3
Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^
Catboy: wholesome
J: i love love so much it hurts
Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3
Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great
Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring
M: i love love
to food!
Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!
Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?
and animals too <3
Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!
96: raccoons ????
DJ Big Penis: cats
:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,
I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.
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Sorry for asking again because your writing is good but what would the boys, (all 3 or 2 or even 1! Your choice!) Reactions be if their crush that they had a crush on for 1234567810 years confesses that they like them? How would they be?
Hey love! Theres NO LIMIT to how many requests you can send, so send as many as you want! I feel like HEAVENS doesn't get a lot of love so i wrote for all of them :3
STARISH + QUARTET NIGHT + HEAVENS reacting to their crush liking them back
STARISH:
Natsuki:
Doesn't even let you finish the sentence before he embraces you. All he heard was "...and I like you, like, as more than a friend." And was overcome with joy. "Awee! I was so worried (Y/N)-chan! I thought you didnt like me like that. I'm so glad you feel the same!!"
Tokiya:
Was planning to tell you over a cute little date. Had everything planned out and the dinner went so perfect. He was so nervous underneath his little façade and took your hand in his to kind of ground himself but then you blurted out that you like him and he was kind of shook? He was the one who was supposed to say it? What? Just blinks at you for a second and then softly smiles "I was just about to say that but i suppose you beat me to it. I like you too, (Y/N), I hope we can expand our relationship."
Cecil:
You were probably listening to one of his stories of Agnapolis when you just commented how cute he was by accident and silence fell over you two. He'd try to laugh it off at first until he realizes the opportunity but then you apologized and said that you always thought he was attractive and that you like him way more than a friend and hes overcome with such joy! 10/10 jumps into your arms and tells you that he's felt the same way. "I love you, too, my princess!" Plz dont comment on how he went straight to the big words. He truly does love you.
Ren:
Doesnt talk about his feelings and tried to avoid them for soooo long but then you just had to go ahead and step in front of him like that. On one hand, a huge pressure is lifted off of his chest that you feel the same way, on the other hand he wanted to confess in the most romantic way possible? "Lady… *chuckles* I was supposed to tell you that. Either way, I feel the same way."
Otoya:
Honestly it's so obvious that he likes you because he's just a blushing stuttering mess all the time around you. He always thought he messed up his chances by being so awkward so when you tell him you like him too he almost breaks down crying because omg you like him too!!! Grabs your shoulders and almost yells, "I like you too (Y/N)! A-and i have for a while… youre so pretty and kind and you never judge… and funny and you stick around and I want you to be with me forever and…." Please just love this boy ;-;
Syo:
You guys were so close and it was almost painful every time you'd do the simplest things together. You could be walking down the hall and your hands accidentally brushed or watch King of Fighting and you just happen to lay your head on his shoulder. God he has been falling for you so bad and he just couldn't bring himself to say so, but when you had the guts and told him that you like him too, he almost had a heart attack. "(Y/N)... This whole time I wanted to tell you that… I cant believe you feel the same" softly embraces you and doesnt let go for a while; hes so happy.
Masato:
Boy he likes to think he can hide his crush pretty well and apparently so except that everyone knows except you two. He is so nervous all the time, so scared of messing up and or you finding him boring and not impressive enough. But every time you sit together and talk about life and every time you're willingly close to him he feels like he does have a chance and then he actually does? Almost spits out his tea when you tell him and you might take it as a negative response so he quickly apologizes and explains that he likes you too "... Y-you have been on o-on my mind and i-in my heart for s-so long and… I can't keep this inside me a-any longer… I like you too, p-please be m-mine..?" So nervous. Almost passes out. Never thought this would happen.
QUARTET NIGHT
Reiji:
Somewhere in his mind he had no doubt about the fact that you like him too, but still he couldn't shake off the feeling of what would happen if you did not see him as that. He's getting old, and he knows, and any relationship that may come his way, he wants that one to be the last because he doesn't have time for games anymore… so when you tell him that you believe he's the one and that you want to be with him for as long as possible he's so shook. "(N/N)-chan… I'm so happy you feel the same way!! I've liked you for so long… be mine?!" Goes in to hug you and somehow almost kisses you which may or may not have been intentional.
Ranmaru:
Doesnt wanna talk about it. Only Reiji knows about his crush and ONLY because Reiji is nosy AF. Thinks he could have a shot but thinks you deserve better. So terrified of rejection no cap. Was gonna take his feelings to the grave, but then you spilled your own feelings out to him one evening over movies and take out and he almost choked on his pasta. You? Like him? Too??? Literally grabs your shoulders "eh??!! You like me??!! I have literally been trying to tell you that for AGES and here you go so easily saying that? Tch… just be mine already, babe." Grumpy emotional. Just lay your head on his chest and watch his blush spread across his cheek plz. It's adorable.
Camus:
He had everything to offer you and more and yet he could just not bring himself to tell you how he feels. His pride wouldnt let him. Let someone have emotional control over him? No thank you he will just bury his feelings and hope they go away but oh here you two go again to another pastries shop and somehow you got him to laugh and here we go again with these butterflies. Is so annoyed with himself that he almost didnt catch you confess to him but of course he heard the three words that really matter "...I like you.." He's silent after that for a few moments, mainly because his heart is beating so fast and his brain is replaying the words, and he's trying to maintain a cool persona. Finally settles on a small chuckle and a smile "I like you too… fool…" fool? Mentally slaps himself but you seem to be taking it well since you're laughing.
Ai:
Ai has such a hard time understanding what's going on inside him and when he does finally understand, he tries to keep it to himself. But every time he sees you and you interact with him, his heart flutters a bit and he soon realized that he cant keep these feelings in forever. He wanted to take you out to one of your favorite restaurants for lunch and then tell you but halfway through the main course, you just kind of told him yourself and it was said so calmly, like you've said it before and he almost wondered if you two were already together? "You like me, too?" Gets such a cute little smile, "I like you, (Y/N), I have for a while.." :')
HEAVENS
Eiichi:
Lolololololol has so much confidence. Of course you'd like him back, hahaha….unless??? Cant manage to tell you in fear of his pride being hurt, but he makes sure to try and show you in small ways? Like buying you lunch, getting you VIP tickets to the concerts, spending time with you, etc… And then one day he's doing exactly that, buying you lunch, because he's memorized your favorite everything, but you tagged along because you wanted to be around him and you just were telling him how appreciative you were of him and everything he does and next thing he knows you're confessing to him and he almost drops the take out box. Shook 103. Almost doesnt know how to answer but his smugness comes back sooner or later "my my my angel… I guess I have to confess that I like you too." Plays it off cool but inside his heart grew by like 65 sizes.
Kira:
He's so quiet and honestly love was the last thing on his mind and then you came along and messed it all up. Suddenly he was talking and all of HEAVENS was shook and realized way sooner than Kira ever could. At some point the feelings started overflowing and he cant deny them anymore and you just happen to sit so close and then you take his hand oh? Those were the words he was dying to hear. "... I like you too…" theres a small blush on his face and you find it so cute.
Nagi:
Haha feelings are stupid. Denies it. No one is gonna get him to confess. Nada. Niente. But the more he hangs out with you the harder it is to deny. He even tried insulting you and you know what didnt work? That! That didn't work! So one day he just stomps up to you and goes , "Listen here,you little---" "i like you, nagi-san!!" Did you just interrupt him? No, wait did you just confess to him???!!" Taken aback. Nagi doesnt work for a second. "Y-you.. Do? Well good thing you feel the same because I was just about to tell you that." Plays it off cool, died on the inside.
Eiji:
Precious little thing doesnt know what to do with himself and these feelings. Is so nervous around you but tries to not overstep any lines. LOVES to hang out with you and play stupid board games with you, so one night when youre over and you guys are playing UNO, he is almost ready to tell you, but then you said it and his soul left his body for a minute. So overcome with happiness he almost cries, "oh (Y/N)... I like you too… I'm so happy you feel the same!"
Van:
Cute. Of course he was gonna fall for someone eventually but this was just SO unexpected. You came into his life and rocked his world in such an unexpected way… suddenly flirting with you doesnt become easy and he is trying so hard to not mess up and ugh here he is trying to explain his feelings to you and wait did you just kiss him and then tell him you feel so deeply for him? Aidjsjqjjasjqoqooosn. SO taken aback. Actually blushes a little? Is this real? Immediately pulls you in and tells you the same, "oh angel! I feel the same way and… can I get another try at that kiss?"
Yamato:
Denies his feelings by taking laps and going rock climbing, basically anything to get his mind off of you and focused on something else. Cant tell you, too scared of rejection. So when you asked to join him on one of his runs he almost freaks out because now he HAS to talk to you or it'll be awkward. Halfway through the run you take a water break and you knew that now was the time. "Yamato, I have a crush on you." He was ready for the next 2 and a half kilometers when his knees almost gave out at hearing you say that. Swears on God his heart stopped beating for a second, "good, because otherwise this would be really awkward" and kisses you? He has no clue how he got that confidence and his face is turning all shades of red right after but at least now you know, right?
Shion:
His whole life he tried to prove to everyone that he was worth it. And then you came along and you saw that he was worth it and you never expected anything of him, and it is such a nice feeling to just be accepted by someone… he couldnt help but fall for you. Shion wanted to be yours so badly, wanted for you to be his so badly, so when those words left your perfect lips, so many stones fell off his shoulders. He visibly relaxed beside you and gently took your hand in his, "i like you too… Thank you, (Y/N)..."
#uta no prince sama#uta no prince shining live#utapri starish stillnotsorry#quartet night#starish#utanoprincesama#utapri headcanons#ren jinguji#natsuki shinomiya#ichinose tokiya#cecil aijima#otoya ittoki#kurusu syo#hijirikawa masato#reiji kotobuki#ranmaru kurosaki#camus#ai mikaze#otori eiichi#eiji otori#van kiryuin#yamato#shion amakusa#kira#nagi#heavens
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(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)
the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!
also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))
lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA
THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)
SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ
WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down
i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained
music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!
okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.
GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon
🥰
oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333
the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not
i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY
okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.
ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰
(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)
but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.
now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)
your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK
OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on
i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)
i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)
(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)
What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰
Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)
#lovely anon#BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away#you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit#all at once*#so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond#or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it#so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks#if you want <3#btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being#(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch#its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao)#*apologis#*from now on#omg
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10 questions tag
aaaaah this one seems really fun bc we make up our own questions :OO
@bulletnotestudies‘s questions:
1. what’s a skill you’ve always admired but never quite got to trying out yourself?
drawing/painting, i’ve never seriously given them a try
2. what goes in the bowl first - milk or cereal?
cereal goes first because that is the amount of actual food youre gonna eat, and if you put too much then you can remove cereal but you can’t be halfway through pouring cereal into a bowl of milk then realise that theres too much milk and youre gonna need too much cereal to get the correct cereal to milk ratio. plus it’s really hard to judge exactly how much cereal you’re about to eat when it’s floating on the milk. the only time milk before cereal is acceptable is if youre going to warm up the milk first
3. what are your top 3 movies i absolutely have to watch? (i need recs, make ‘em good x)
ok so
emma (2020) was HILARIOUS, i felt like it was exactly what jane austen would’ve intended it to be, and the cinematography, colour palette, costumes, acting, it’s all just *chef’s kiss*
your name is one of the most beautiful movies i’ve ever watched, the stunning animation and music and storyline all came together in this completely heart-wrenching concoction. still not entirely sure about what exactly happened bc the plot is told in a very inverted way, but i found that enjoying a movie as a sensory and emotional experience and not obsessing over the logic and sequence of plot points made for a really memorable movie
howl’s moving castle, also beautiful animation and music and storyline. unfortunately i never watched it when i was little, so i didnt get that nostalgia that lots of people seem to have towards it. in any case, the themes and story are told in a very unique and absolutely magical way.
sorry if you dont like animated movies :// i really cant think of anything else tho bc i rarely watch movies in general
4. do you sing in the shower?
hmmm i do sometimes, but the song has to be really PROPERLY stuck in my head for me to start serenading the shower lol
5. describe your ideal date
doing something new that we both end up really enjoying, trying out a new food that turns out to be delicious, and having lots of interesting discussions and funny moments in between would be like the perfect blueprint
6. if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? why?
i think i haven’t traveled nearly enough to say :// somewhere with lots of history, for sure, and lots of nature too
7. is there anything you’re really scared of? (skip if you’re not comfortable answering this one)
that the career path i’ve chosen is the wrong one for me, but i’ll be to scared to face it and change my life so drastically (i’m a huge nerd so i can literally enjoy *studying* most things, it’s the making a career out of it part that’s scary)
8. what was your favourite book(s) when you were a kid?
i absolutely adored the harry potter books, i knew them inside out and backwards
9. are you still friends with/talk to your middle school best friend?
we talk with occasionally, but we’re nowhere near as close as before and i think we’ve definitely drifted apart. i think it’s because most of our friendship was based on common interests like the above mentioned harry potter obsession, and we didn’t have many things to discuss once we didn’t see each other as often
10. list 3 great things about yourself (it’s self-love time ladies)
i’m extremely patient. i can sit down and have a discussion with the most infuriating people and still have a fruitful conversation. this was probably how i avoided being bullied lmao, people would throw backhanded comments or sarcastic questions at me to tease me or freak me out and i would just be like .... do you want to talk about it?
i’m a pretty open person - i’ll share my experience or opinion on anything (just give me a min to form one if i’ve never heard of the topic before lol), and i looove having discussions with people and exchanging advice/opinions.
i always try and see as many different sides to a situation as possible, and look for the truth and the balance between optimism and pessimism
my questions:
if you could have dinner with any person, past/present/future/fictional, who would it be?
who is a person that inspires or motivates you, and why?
what is the latest thing to give you goosebumps?
3 things that you’re proud of yourself for?
what is a misconception that people may have about you
what animal are you most similar to?
favourite plant/flower/tree?
favourite childhood cartoons/movies?
3 books that every person should read at least once in their lives
3 things you’re grateful for
i’m going to tag: @study-van, @gammastudies, @medical-magpie, @moonshinestudies and any one else who wants to do it!! (just say i tagged you)
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session 81 end
wow, okay, first things first
AC!!!!!
shes so fucking cute holy shit i love her so much i dont even know where to begin??
i mean i guess its because im so used to troll snark and the way they just? banter constantly? seeing someone who is a literal ray of sunshine is so refreshing and wholesome and pure. god she’s great. shes a cat, she knows her stuff. she’s strong and theres also this guys???? who shes scared of?? and tells her what to do??? yeah no, idk who it is but let her make her own decisions lol
maybe its just over exaggeration or whatnot, and hes not bad but first impressions do a lot to me and right now the only thing i know about this guy is that AC needs his approval for everything. i guess ill see where that takes us. hopefully nowhere bad. but AC seems like she can take care of herself and knows how to be a good decent troll and i love her for that. wow it literally took me one dialogue to like her. damn, that was fast. jesus.
you know who else is great?
terezi.
yeah i know right. and that whole trial thing, which yeah i guess half the time i was confused by what the fuck is going on since i still cant grasp the idea of how alternia works, but i enjoyed myself with lemonsnout and how terezi roleplays and how much she gets into it. seeing a character that passionate about something is so sweet and nice.
god this was just a nice overall session
which i say, while i completely forgot about the banter TA and karkat got into
right, that happened. oh my god. they both literally stomped all over each other, dissed one another, still made up in the end because apparently thats their friendship and i guess it just works like that. depends on the friends you have, i guess.
its funny though, not gonna lie
and karkat as of now is just being a prick and honestly?
like more than usual, which i guess is weird to say but i mean from present time to beginning of hivebent karkat. not that its uncommon for him to be a prick, he is, but seeing him go through the non-linear pattern with john is mmmmh interesting to say the least. though we havent seen his first trolling, just him constantly going “oh god what did i say, i was dumb” u know, not in those words but thats basically what he means.
ooh im gonna analyze, i feel like analyzing right now my fingers have already typed so much as it is MIGHT AS WELL
and our candidate will be *drum rollll* karkat wow predictable (its below the cut because this is literally irrelevant now to the session)
okay, lets lay out the shit we have already. as i said before, the way he talks presently to john (meaning in the future) is so different than how he speaks to everyone now. of course the “i hate the world” personality is still there, and hes still just regular karkat, but karkat talking with john is patient to some extent and tells him what he needs to know for the game, lowkey kinda chills out once they started talking about movies or growing up as huh, didnt he say larvae or smth?
okay that whole grub thing makes sense now as i just wrote that but i am still confused as to what the FUCK that is implying because i dont think it crossed my mind this much, im repressing it for now until it comes up later.
anyways, back to what i was saying. he was so DIFFERENT than the way he’s acting now which is bitch and moan and like? stfu karkat lmfao. i mean, its not THAT big of a difference in character, because i know he’s still his grumpy old self, and theres a lot of potential.. for growth? not sure if we’ll get it but i like to assume we will get character growth from these characters with fucking 8000 pages talking about them. but a story needs that growth and with karkat being just a straight up angry dude, in MY EYES, he should.. have growth, no? idk HOW he will grow, but im basically just taking what i have right now which isnt much but i analyze things for fun sometimes so let me be.
that being said, because its so early on, im not sure where homestuck is gonna go and i dont have much to go on but being in the psychology course shit happens when you have limited information and you gotta pin point what makes a person a person and how do they cope with things to grow further into life. many of my assignments involve limited info so honestly, not that hard.
but it is something that ive noticed, the way karkat is different as he grows which possibly means the whole veil thing happens later later on in his life and we havent yet seen that small growth become patience and not whining every time he doesnt get what he wants. but growth is common and it mostly likely happens to everyone, so its not like wow this is a surprise and a plot twist, more of something that i just wanna write for the sake of writing it. i hope that makes sense? i dont exactly know where im going with this. i just mean that im basically going to analyse karkat a tiny bit so idk how to otherwise explain it but you’ll get where im going with this as i type more lmao.
anyways, so karkat literally said “pretend i dont think highly of my friend’s talents” as if he’s visibly trying to force himself from all emotions and bash on those who do (reference: “stop being sensitive, its repugnant” or whatever tf he said while TA replied with “hypocrite”) i take that as a key word. so honestly, while that was the smallest thing ive gotten from this session, its the thing im most curious about actually and i actually havent mentioned lol. because what ive learned in psych, which this is just common knowledge but i did an assignment on it so like?? could be useful?? is that people who hold off their emotions tend to hold off others as well, so there is no chance of mirroring each other. in other words, if someone is happy and starts to laugh and goof around with another, the emotions will mirror that other person subconsciously. like an addictive laugh. theres also another way to show mirroring, which is to mimic another person's actions, allowing another to establish a sense of empathy and thus begin to understand another person's emotions. in this case, im using TA and karkat as example. people who suppress emotions tend to see emotions as a bad sign and if somebody else portrayed any sign of it as well, they’ll basically say “gross what are you doing” because theyre so used to concealing it away, that they dont want others to think theyre into the whole mushy shit. so they pretend to hate it, pretend to not even be slightly affected by general sensitivity..
which basically means karkat is a softie, and even if he’s a prick right now, meeee thinks john, from earlier convos, is growing on him because john himself knows how emotions work and while i dont think troll culture does know much about it, considering the BLOOD AND CARNAGE thing, he is in fact growing and even if thats obvious, and you all know it, i am new to homestuck and am trying to see that for myself. its noticeable to some degree. he may always still be a jerk, but i am waiting to see how he slowly starts to accept things around him and to finally show what hes hiding inside. even if its just going up by a few percentages, i see its there and im hoping VERY HOPING he has the biggest character growth!
in other words, why else do i think this?? well nobody who watches romcoms can be that fucking aggressive. you need some sap in you to like it.
on that note, ill probably analyze alternia’s system and rules in another post later throughout these next few sessions because i feel it needs to be talked about and the way everything just.. is so different and doesnt seem right, you know?
thats it for now goodnight
#homestuck#homestuck liveblog#hs81#hs81 end#tfw you get so into the analysis simple shit doesnt come to mind like tagging or putting a title
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Shinsou fluff alphabet
Starting off this blog the right way
A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)
He really likes your eyes
Hes definitely the type of person that puppy dog eyes work on
When you look up at him with those pretty eyes he just melts into them
B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)
He would want a baby eventually
Like after you get married
But he loves the thought of having a baby with you
Seeing which traits come out from both of you
Or adopting a baby, he thinks that would be awesome too
He loves kids, hes just kinda scared that he doesn't know how to take care of them
C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)
He is the c li n g I est mf
He acts like hes not but he is
He doesn't have a preference when it comes to being the little or big sppon
He loves holding you
Just wrapping his arms around your shoulders or waist and hugging you as tight as possible while pressing little kisses onto your forehead
And when you hold him he melts
He feels so loved and wanted
Play with his hair plz plz plz
His eyes will flutter shut and hell just be like
"Mmm... so comfy"
It's so cute
D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)
Toshi is pretty spontaneous
So dates will either be
Let's go out at 3 in the morning and run around the city and buy junk food
Or
"Babe, I got us reservations for this super fancy restaurant so make sure you get dressed up. Were leaving in an hour."
They're always fun tho, even the more formal dates are super silly with you two making jokes and just being crackheads
E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))
To Hitoshi, you are his inspiration
His reason for moving forward in life
Before you, his only goal was to become a hero - and even then no one seemed to believe he could
Then theres you
You who tells him that his quirk does not make him evil
It's super effective against villains
hell be a pro hero someday
Before he wanted to become hero simply because why not
But now he wants to become a hero for you, to show you that your positive words were not misplaced and he is someone you can count on
F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)
It was one night after he was training with Aizawa in martial arts (since he knows his quirk isnt the most effective in battle if he cant get it to work)
And he walked out of the field to see you standing there with this big smile on your face
"What are you doing here? It's late, you should go home."
"I was but then I saw you training and wanted to watch 😊"
He kinda gives you a weird look and is like why
"Cause you're super cool Shinsou! If I wanna be a pro hero I need to make sure I can get strong too, so I wanted to take some pointers."
His eyes widen and hes like- you think I'm cool??? Me who has to do this training cause my quirk is useless most the time?? Me who's quirk actually sucks?? You think I'm cool.
You just give him this big smile and you're like well ya anyways see you tomorrow
And he kinda is just like fuckfuckfuckfuckdu kkckcdudyhsj the whole way home cause wow you're super cute and you're the only person to ever praise him like that
He lies awake all night and is like I'm in love fuk
So ya, he was in love long before you even started dating
G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)
Hes so gentle with you
Like hell brush your hair out of your face and move it behind your ear
When you kiss his hand kinda just cups your jaw and his thumb rubs your cheek
He presses little kisses on your forehead when you hug
Theres times when he can be more rough, but you're his baby and he cherishes you so much
He doesn't wanna scare you in any way and treats you so well
H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)
When you're walking he likes to place his fingers with yours and holds onto your hand tight
But other than that, he prefers holding your hand by placing his on top of yours and lacing his fingers while his thumb rubs your pinky
Hell pick up your hand and press kisses on it
Lowkey to tease you cause he likes to see you blush but still
I = Impression (What was their first impression?)
His first impression of you wasn't the best? It wasn't the worst either tho
He first met you at the sports festival
You were fighting after he did, so when he was walking back and you were going out you saw him
So you were like "great job in the match!!"
And he thought you were teasing him cause he felt he horribly lost so he got kinda pissed
And was like "ya whatever"
He realized you weren't lying later tho, when you kept talking to him whenever you would see him at school
J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)
Oooooh yes, boy gets so jealous
You're HIS baby, not anyone elses
Hes put up with a lot of shit and a lot of shitty people and now that he has someone who loves him and he adores back - he doesn't like the fear of losing them
It's less of he gets angry when people flirt with you and more of he gets scared
Hes scared hes not the best and that you might decide you'll leave
He knows you love him and are loyal to him, but he cant shake that fear
K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)
So he initiated the first kiss
It was after your first date, and he kinda just kissed you out of nowhere (and you didn't mind at all)
While he does kiss you fairly gently, its lots of times a way to tease you
He loves to kiss you more roughly- the kinds of kisses that leave you breathless and your lips bruised
But he starts gentle half the time so that you get frustrated and have to try and make him kiss you deeper
Lots of tongue
Lots and lots of tongue
L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)
You did
Again, He knew he loved you before you started dating
But he didn't wanna put you off by saying it too soon so he waited for you
He did things to help you know he loved you, but he waited until you said it
The first time you said it you were cuddling
You were lying on his chest and he was playing with your hair on his bed and you quietly said "I love you Toshi. So much.."
His eyes widened and he got the biggest smile on his face
"I love you too baby"
M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)
His favorite memory with you is probably one of your first dates
He took you to an amusement park
You were holding hands the whole time and you were so happy throughout the whole night
Hearing your beautiful laugh, being able to play the games with you and win you prizes since hes for some reason super good at them, getting to be that annoying couple that just cuddles in all the lines
He was in heaven
of course you had to do the stereotypical couple thing and ride the ferris wheel
But! It got stuck when you were almost to the top (if only it had been at the top - it would have been peak amusement park date romance)
You two were so ready to kiss at the top, but now you get to make out for like 30 minutes?? Awesome!
Getting to have a whole photo shoot together with all the pretty lights from the park and the city?? Double awesome!
Sitting in the cramped seat and being able to just talk and cuddle without worrying about school or anything?? Tripple awesome!!!
Everything about the night was perfect, and now you two love going on amusement park dates (tho none will ever beat this one)
N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)
He won't Spoil you too much, hes broke anyways
Besides, hes not the most materialistic person anyways so he would rather give you gifts of like dates and stuff
When he does give gifts, it's more personal things
Hell spoil you for your birthday and anniversary tho, if you really want something hell do his best to get you it
O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)
Pink
Why?
Because he loves that cute blush of yours ~
He teases you all the time, anything to get you to blush
So when he sees a pink, especially in the shade of your blush, he kinda smirks and is like aw
Also, its such a soft color, and you're his baby so he gets soft for you
So honestly pastel colors remind him of you too, but mainly pink
P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)
ANYTHING that will get you to blush
Hes tested out them all
Honey, sugar, babydoll, bub, cutie, EVERYTHING
But his favorites are baby, and kitten.
He likes cats so he tested out kitten and the BLUSH that erupted on your face, he was hooked
Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)
My dude he is so into ball room dancing
Like I guess that's modern if you're rich, but neither of you are so that's something you only see in like old movies
Dead ass he took you to an abandoned castle just to dance with you while he played music from like the 40s
R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)
Loves rain
Wants to go play in it
He will drag you out into the rain so that you can run around and act like little kids
Then you'll come in eventually so you dont get sick and make tea and cuddle
S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)
Hes more of the type that will just ignore his feelings when hes sad
Like it's no big deal they'll go away
But you got mad at him for doing that so now - he just tells you
Hell text you and be like "hey.. can we cuddle..."
And you'll immediately know what's up and run to cheer him up
When you're sad, he takes a more direct approach
He wants you to tell him straight up what's wrong, and hes willing to wait if you need time
Hell hold you until you're ready, but he won't leave until you're feeling better
T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)
He loves gossipping
Like you two talking about dumb stuff your classmates do
Makes up like 70% of your conversations
Also about movies, or TV shows, hes into a lot of fandoms and loves talking about them
U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)
You
Playing
With
His
Hair
That's it
Hes stressed? He will plop himself into your lap and you just know
V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)
He likes showing off his martial art skills honestly
Hes gotten good at them, and many of the students dont bother with learning any formal fighting style since they're more into just using their quirk or swinging as they please
So it's something hes proud of
Hes also proud of it cause the 2 people he looks up to the most - aizawa and you - are also proud of him for it
So he loves showing you new things hes learned, or showing you how to do them so that you can be safer
W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)
Again, hes spontaneous, so it kinda just came out
You two were just goofing around one night - spending time with each other since soon you would go into working at an agency since you had graduated
He was just thinking about how much hes gonna miss not being able to be around you all the time
So this man deadass ran into a gas station that was still open, bought a ring pop, and ran back out and was like
"Shit babe I'm so sorry this is such a horrible proposal but I'm doing it cause I don't wanna back out so- (y/n), will you marry me?"
Hes down on one knee holding this ring pop and he expected you to start laughing (you did later) but instead you started crying and you just jump into his arms nodding
X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)
Serendipity by BTS
His world changed when he met you, the love his life
Theres so much hurt in life, and you are his happiness
Even when you two fight, you only come back stronger
Hes so happy with you, and so hes worried that something will happen to take you away from him
This song kinda captures that
Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)
Yes
All the time
He planned it a few times fully before when he actually did, and they were all much more romantic than the ring pop
He thought of the ring and everything
Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)
Cat
Do I even need to say that
He wants you two to be crazy cat parents so bad
Even tho the max you ever have at a time is 2
#bnha#mha#boku no hero headcanons#boku no hero imagines#boku no hero fanfic#boku no hero academia#boku no hero x reader#shinsou imagine#shinsoubnha#shinsou headcanons#shinsouhitoshi#mhaheadcanons#fluff alphabet#shinsouxreader#shinsoufluff
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anyway i’m still thinkin about roceit newsies au...this got SO LONG its basically a bullet fic of the whole plot at this point but uh enjoy!!! its has all the sides and remy and emile bc i rly wanted to shove them all in here aldkaldka
this is based on the musical mostly bc i have never watched the original movie all the way thru oops
roman is jack and remus is crutchie (thanks boop). remus does crazy stunts even with his crutch and roman is Constantly Worried TM and overprotective of remus even tho remus can DEF take care of himself
on the other hand remus knows roman hates working as a newsboy and just wants to escape to some small town where he can become a local artist of some sort. remus wants roman to go CHASE his DREAMS even tho he’s afraid roman might leave him behind
roman may be the actor but remus is great at coming up with gruesome yet intriguing headlines that get people to buy papers and would totally be a great author of some sort
ON THAT NOTE roman dreams of santa fe and can picture it perfectly but whenever he tries to explain it, it comes out as senseless rambling and longing. it’s remus who can really put into words what roman feels (bc theyre bros and they just GET each other)
virgil as davey, patton as les, logan as sarah (its the musical but they have an extra sibling okay. let me have older brother logan)
virgil and patton show up and virgil is super untrusting and hates that theyre basically lying to get people to buy papers but patton is just EXCITED to meet New People!!! and looks up to roman (and remus), like, instantly
it helps that roman promises to take them to a real actual theater after they sell all their papers owned by the one the only emile picani !!!
also roman is the one who first calls him “virge” which is like jack saying “davey” instead of david. yes this is necessary information
so they sell their papers (and roman briefly meets an ESPECIALLY handsome guy wink wink) and go see emile who performs some variant of That’s Rich like the star he is. u cant take singer emile away from me
roman also performs bc i said so. he spies someone watching him during his act up above the stage and climbs up there when he’s done
janus. its janus, if that wasnt clear or u dont know the plot of the newsies musical aldkaldlal
so yeah janus as katherine!! he may be pulitzer’s son but that doesn’t mean his father wants him to be a journalist. pulitzer thinks he should prepare to inherit the publishing company or be a banker or smth, not be a journalist
i just think janus’ “society is a LIE” vibe fits with katherine. i mean, just look at Watch What Happens. “give life’s little guys some ink,” “they’ll storm the gates,” “rich greedy sourpusses” .... idk it just SCREAMS janus to me
ALSO, katherine technically lies about her identity for like 3/4 of the musical, so
anyway! roman meets janus and janus is all suave and lowkey flirty at first but then roman starts flirting BACK and jan is like “uh oh how to talk to cute boys????”
so then he gets all “i have more important things to do” *hair flip* and goes back to the article he’s supposed to be writing about emile’s theater (a lot of his notes are about roman’s performance but nobody needs to know that shhh)
roman draws a portrait of jan and leaves it there and janus gently & dramatically picks it up, stares at it, and tucks it into his suit with a soft smile
uh oh prices for papers went up! virgil steps up and helps roman lead a strike. turns out his caution works GREAT with roman’s determination and they keep each other from going towards extreme overthinking (virgil) or extreme stupidity (roman). they are a TEAM and they are BESTIES.
remus: lets SET THE PAPERS ON FIRE
roman, starry eyed: HECK YEAH LETS DO IT
virgil: how about we dont do that and instead form a union
and then the twins are like GOOD IDEA and tell everyone else. virgil may be a cautious and untrusting and afraid of public speaking but he has good ideas dangit
the intro to seize the day yknow? virgil says a Good Idea (which can probably be traced back to him always listening to logan rant about his studies) and roman spreads the message in a Firm Rebellion-y way to the other newsies
and patton is there doing his absolute best. he may be small but he knows that this isn’t right or fair to the newsboys and he’s ready to physically fight someone
enter logan who is lowkey really proud of virgil for stepping outside of his comfort zone to do whats right. logan may be scared out of his mind for his little bros but he’s gonna help them as much as he can between college and trying to work side jobs to help their fam
basically logan knows janus and tells him that he should report on the strike bc logan wants to help his bros AND his friend however he can
cue janus seeing his opportunity and TAKING it. he’s gonna write about this strike even if no one else will!!! take THAT, father
he also maybe possibly wanted to see roman again. but roman never needs to know that okay what he doesnt know cant hurt him
seize the day happens!!!! they strike!!!! they r powerful!!! but then no one else from any other sections of new york strike with them and they lowkey get rekt
remus mocks the delanceys but that was a BAD decision cuz now theyre targeting him and he gets taken to the REFUGE
roman is SAD bc his brother’s been taken away, no one showed up to help them strike, his brother’s been taken away and he just wants to get OUT of there. run away to santa fe, his ideal world, but he can’t even articulate that because his brother is gone
how is that just act one. how have i written so much yet left out so much???
remus is at the refuge and he’s a little more scared, now, that roman really will just leave him behind even though he knows deep down that roman would never.
still. he writes roman a letter and maybe he goes into a little too much detail about his injuries and the refuge but hey, that’s remus. he writes about how maybe they can run away to santa fe together. he signs it “your brother” and i CRY because they are the best bros
roman reads it and ALSO cries. especially because there it is, the description of santa fe he can never come up with by himself. remus rly does know him, huh
total scene change: janus finds the other newsies (and logan) in a restaurant? bar? and is like “!!! ur on the FRONT PAGE on my newspaper” which i just decided is called the snake instead of the sun
virgil didn’t totally trust janus would follow thru at first but now he’s convinced. they did it!!!! theyre on the front page!!!! the world WILL know!!!!
cue tapdancing!!!!!! king of new york is an absolute bop. i need logan tapdancing daintily and then janus LAUNCHING into some complex tap routine bc the newsies think he too will dance daintily
i know they wouldnt,,, actually dance but just let me have this self-indulgence in this entirely self-indulgent au
the Bro Trio + janus go hunt down roman to show him the paper and find him painting stuff at emile’s all sad and upset bc, well, they lost and remus was taken
but virgil is trying to show him that they made progress!!! sure pulitzer won but he won the BATTLE and actually the poor guy’s head is spinning bc theyre gonna win.
“cmon, ro, if i’m is telling you to be optimistic there must be hope”
see virgil calls him RO and its cute bc roman gave him the nickname ‘virge’ and now virgil’s giving him the nickname ‘ro’ theyre just besties okay
roman is unconvinced but then logan, who roman has actually never met before, steps in with Facts and Statistics, and patton adds some adorable words of encouragement, and janus sassily waves their Front Page Story at him, and roman starts realizing they DO have a chance
but then uh oh pulitzer threatens remus and the Bro Trio and roman is forced to speak out against the strike or risk ruining the lives of everyone he loves. and also he finds out that janus is pulitzer’s son and is Betrayed TM
theres some “he’s just trying to build up a false confidence in u so u can plummet to even greater depths” parallels in there somewhere....u can’t trust many people as a newsie and when roman DOES trust someone turns out he’s the son of the guy ur trying to fight
so roman says overnight in pulitzer’s basement, sleeping on an uncomfortable old printing press, and makes his decision
now for the RALLY
remy is spot conlon bc he DESERVES to be the leader of the brooklyn newsies. brooklyn, flushing, richmond, etc all show up to a newsies rally and are like YEAH!!! STRIKE!!!!
virgil is trying to tame the crowd nervously and keeps waiting for roman to show up bc they work best when theyre working together!!!! finally roman’s there and virgil introduces him (the attention isnt solely on him now thank gosh)
but then roman starts talking about how they dont stand a chance and how they shouldnt go on strike and virgil is just. confused and upset and angry
especially when he sees one of pulitzer’s employees slipping roman wads of money
virgil corners roman afterwards and is absolutely RIPPING into him. roman could fix this if he would just tell virgil the truth, tell him he doesn’t care about the money, he just wanted to keep him and patton and logan safe—
but roman knows if he tells virgil, then virgil will turn all his anger towards pulitzer, will be able to convince roman to keep going, and roman won’t. he can’t put virgil, put his family, at risk.
so he lies.
he doesn’t mean any of it. but he says it.
and maybe he kind of understands why janus lied, too.
he says he’s never had anyone to take care of him or remus, not like virgil does with his parents and his older brother. he says virgil will never know what it’s like.
virgil scoffs and glares and beneath all his fury looks crushed. but there’s still fire in his eyes, a spark roman saw that first day that only grew and engulfed any doubts virgil ever had.
roman says he’ll take the money and go, leave new york behind.
virgil says fine. we don’t need you. because you know what? all those words you said were mine. i didn’t have the courage to say them back then but now i do. we don’t need you.
(because i watched that scene in the movie and like YES go OFF davey i mean virgil)
roman flees to his “bedroom” which is really just a fire escape and just longs for remus’ reassurance. he has the letter but it doesn’t seem as encouraging now, not when he’s lost everything else important to him.
then janus shows up and roman’s mad at him but not mad enough to kick him out. and janus watched roman just give up on everything they’ve been fighting for and just wants to know WHY. why did he turn his back on the newsies when they were so close?
and roman, tired and upset and defeated, just says they wouldn’t succeed. even if all the newsies went on strike no one would report on it, anyway, because pultizer has all the printing presses on lockdown, even the one janus published from. and they already lost once! what more could they possibly do?
roman looks out over the railing, chest heaving from his rant, longing for his imaginary santa fe where he doesn’t have to face his failures. janus stands next to him and puts his hand over roman’s.
“i don’t have a simple answer to that question....but here’s a start.”
and janus pulls out a paper with roman’s words (well, and virgil’s, because virgil said it first but roman rephrased it powerfully, and that’s why they worked as a team) typed out, words that make the strike not about newsies but about ALL working children in the city who are being exploited for their youth and naivety.
it’s an entire article, expertly written. if published it would get the word out to the other newsies that they haven’t given up and show other working children and adults alike that this is IMPORTANT and they aren’t going away.
and then roman remembers his drawings of the refuge and remus’ graphic descriptions and shows them to janus and hey!!! they have a plan!!! they just need to print it....
roman’s like yo there’s an old press in ur dad’s basement he’d never suspect anything
and theyre both so excited and theyre gonna DO this, FINALLY, and janus sees hope on roman’s face again, maybe permanently this time, and janus just leans in and kisses him.
its very sweet and cute and theyre in LOVE
they pull back and kinda stand there awkwardly for a few seconds before both of them start grinning
and they both know its fragile, that they’ve hurt each other and trust was cracked, but it wasn’t broken completely, and they can fix this. they believe in each other and that’s enough for now.
and then they go find virgil at his house
roman knocks on the door and virgil opens it and just. glares at roman. and roman starts rambling apologies and explanations and tries to tell virgil about their plan and did he mention he’s sorry
virgil kinda just stares at him as he goes on and on and the only thing that stops him is patton running out and launching himself at roman
then logan appears behind virgil, and virgil kinda just smiles
“glad to have u back. again.”
and then they go sneak into pulitzer’s basement and print the article with jan’s writing and ro’s drawings and remus’ descriptions and the other newsies go spread the papers ALL around the city
the next morning EVERYONE is out on strike!!! u cant get ANYWHERE without seeing ppl, newsies or otherwise, filling the streets with chants of “seize the day”
roman, with the Bro Trio and Janus trailing close behind, waltzs on in to pulitzer’s office and flings the money pulitzer gave him back on the desk and is like whatcha gonna do NOW, joe??
pulitzer angrily tells them he’s a fool for going back on their deal and logan steps in sayin pulitzer is a fool for letting this get so out of hand over a 10 cent price increase. his sales are down 70%!! objectively the price increase was like the worst business decision ever
virgil’s like plus it’s making u look bad that ur business is the reason most of these kids are suffering. people really love kids, mr pulitzer and patton smiles brightly but in like a menacing way
then emile walks in with a ~dazzling smile~ and is like ur son told me about this whole situation, it’d be a shame if i contacted my good friend governor roosevelt who won’t be as kind as these brave newsies since u tried so hard to stop him from being elected :)
((in the show roosevelt is actually there but i want emile to have a moment to SHINE))
so pulitzer’s like FINE and talks to roman alone and roman wears him down, throwing words from janus, virgil, and pulitzer himself right in pulitzer’s face until FINALLY they have a deal. he’ll lower the prices by half AND pulitzer will buy back whatever they don’t sell full price
roman bursts out of the office into the streets where all the newsies are waiting and is like WE WONNN
and since they published all that stuff about the refuge in the paper, the guy who runs it is being arrested and REMUS IS FREE
the twins hug for like a full two minutes
then pulitzer offers roman a job as a political cartoonist and roman’s like. well idk now that this is over i should probably...head out
bc lowkey he’s thinking virgil still doesn’t wanna see roman ever again and he did say he would leave, so
but then virgil’s like come on, ro, you don’t really think we want u to leave, do u? what’s santa fe got that new york aint? tarantulas? sandstorms? stampedes? you can’t go to santa fe what if you DIE—
and logan says new york’s got us!
patton: and we’re family, right?
then janus is like you got a union to lead! and...you got me.
and remus is like bro, anyone can dream, all you do is close ur eyes! but some made up world is all you’ll ever see. (bc he’s the wordsy one, u see. he helps roman have the poetic realization that his santa fe isn’t real, but this IS)
so roman says well if u guys INSIST.....and then he takes jan’s hand and kinda asks w his eyes and then kisses jan in front of all the newsies who proceed to cheer obnoxiously
when they break apart roman leads janus by the hand over to the paper-buying-cart and slaps some couns down on the table and BUYS SOME PAPERS BC THEYRE NEWSIES BABEY
and everyone lived happily ever after🥰
#sanders sides#roceit#creativitwins#newsies#sanders sides fic#sanders sides fanfic#bullet fic#repost bc tumblr glitched hardcore#uhh anyway the original tags i had were smth like#‘i rewatched newsies and i love it also i love jeremy jordan also stan newsies the musical’ aldkaldla#roceit newsies au#donnie writes
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Cry to Me Ben Hardy x Reader
Howdy again! I'm here with a gift for the incredible @owensgrxdy ❤ I saw that you enjoy movie soundtracks & since we share that in common I went through some of my favorite movies which landed me on this song! Its from Dirty Dancing and I really suggest you give the song a listen.
Few things before you read: this is a good old fashioned (lover boy) friends to lovers troupe, theres a kissing scene & mention of sex, but I wouldnt say this is 18+. Still read with caution, if that kind of stuff bothers you please dont read **i cant do cuts im on mobile stop judging me**
Doncha feel like cryin'
Doncha feel like cryin'
C'mon baby, (c'mon) cry to me
Had it really been twenty-three days? Twenty-three entire days that your apartment grew colder by the minute.
Google advised you on day eight that it takes three months to get over a major break up, so you began to keep tally on the wall paper of your mind.
For twenty-three days your body only knew work and your couch. A shower weasled its way in there only a few times. You hated to admit that, but you can't step foot in your shower without thinking of every thing that occurred in it. All of the roaming hands, pleased noises, muscles tense then relaxed.
You shifted on your couch. The memories placed a sad pit in your stomach. You'd give up everything just to have him back. Maybe not even him, just the comfort of him, if that were even possible.
A few loud knocks landed on your door. You knew it couldn't be him, but you still held the hope. Quickly, you stood and walked to the door. Just before opening you adjusted your more than oversized shirt and gave your armpits a sniff. You were good to go to open the door.
But you hesitated. If it were who you wanted it to be he would clearly see the mess you were. Frankly it was embarassing. The man walked out one week before Christmas, all things he wanted to keep already packed. He had to have it planned for a while.
You took a step back. There's no way you're answering the door now, your mind talked you out of it. But the knocking happened again. It was freezing out, you couldn't leave him there, so you opened the door.
It was just Ben.
"Oh...hey, what are you doing here?" Ben rarely showed up unannounced.
"You weren't answering any of my calls." Ben let himself in. It was infact freezing. He trudged snow in with him.
"Yeah, sorry. I-I've been busy." That was true. You were busy moping and you could tell Ben knew by the way his eyebrows raised at you.
"Well, I haven't seen you in a month. I brought wine," Ben looked around and saw the bottle you already had open, "but I guess you've had some already."
"It's been twenty-three days actually." You took the bottle of wine and sauntered toward the kitchen. Ben followed and leaned onto the island.
"What?" He asked and you sighed.
"It's been twenty-three days." You informed him again and allowed him to follow you back to the couch.
The television was the brightest thing in your space. You had a few christmas lights up, but many of them weren't lit. You could never figure out how to fix them, but your ex knew. Another reason why you wanted him there with you.
"Well that's much too long. I should've came sooner." Ben brought his feet onto your coffee table. You slapped his knee, he moved them reluctantly.
"It's fine. You were working."
"Yeah, but I never fail to make time for you, and you need a friend right now." You didn't intend to scoff at Ben's words, but you did.
"What I need is a machine to just erase everything in my brain." Ben shook his head at you.
"I'm sorry he hurt you. He's such a dick. Anyone that can walk out on you like that has no idea what they're giving up." Ben always knew what to say.
For the first time in over three weeks you cracked a bit of a smile. You moved closer to Ben and lay your head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry I didn't call you Ben. He left and I...I just felt so alone, which is so stupid because you're my friend, you're always right there. Always one call or text away." You stopped talking to take a breath. Tears were beginning to form along your water line. Sitting there with Ben made you realize you hadn't really allowed yourself to cry.
"I just didn't want to come to you like this, crying." You finished talking and Ben took hold of your hand.
"Please don't ever hesitate again. Cry to me all you need, I'll turn the world upside down to make you feel better." The sincerity in Ben's voice was richer than it had ever been.
You looked up and Ben's eyes were red too. "God, I'm sorry." You let go of Ben's hand to bring your own to his face. Your thumb caught a tear and wiped it away.
When you went to move your hand away, Ben's came up. He held your palm against his cheek. Then, in the swiftest but most gentle motion, Ben moved his head to press a kiss on your palm.
Surprisingly you gasped, but didn't move. Ben kissed your palm again, then your wrist, and traveled further up your arm. "You're beautiful," Ben kissed your upper arm, "you're valid," he then kissed your collarbone, "I love you," you weren't stopping him, he kissed just below your ear, "I'll do anything for you." That's where Ben stopped.
Your breathing had quickened without your knowledge. Ben had never been so intimate with his kisses before. He had kissed your hand or cheek when greeting you, but this felt as if he had been wanting to kiss you that way.
The two inches of air between his mouth and yours grew thicker. "Would you really do anything for me?" Your question was barely audible. It seemed like if you made in sudden movements that your mouth would collide with his.
"Of course. You're my.." Best friend. Ben was going to call you his best friend, but he didn't want to say that. He didn't want that title anymore.
"Best friend." You finished for him and he nodded slowly. Neither of you had moved. "Would we still be best friends if I kissed you?"
Ben raised his eyebrows at you. "I suppose, can't know for sure. I mean we haven't done...it."
His lips are a little thinner than yours so at first it seemed as if your lips were cradling Ben's. As the kiss went on Ben grew more confident, his hand found its way to the nape of your neck which sent your mind spiraling.
Ben used his thumb to rub lovingly on your cheek as you kissed. You don't remember when exactly, but his tongue was now tangled with yours. He felt so amazing. The urge to wrap your legs around him grew more intense as the seconds passed. You were going to, but Ben pulled back.
Fear immediately swam through your body. Ben was searching your eyes for something and you prayed he could see that you wanted this. You wanted him. Even though you felt as if you never knew how badly you wanted him until now.
"You just broke up with him. I can't do this. I don't want you to regret it." Ben felt as he was on fire. He waited ages to get you where you are, but he couldn't move forward if you weren't completely on board.
"God Ben, why didn't I choose you? Am I crazy?" You and Ben laughed for the first time since he arrived.
"Maybe a little, but that's okay." Ben's tongue darted between his teeth as he smiled and you groaned.
"Stop being cute Ben, you're killing me." He laughed more, this time hiding his blushing face between your neck and shoulder.
You were still best friends. Best friends that spent Christmas day having sex, eating, watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas, then more sex.
#ben hardy x reader#ben hardy#ben hardy imagine#yourlocalmusicalprostitute#bohrhapparkers bohrap secret santa#owensgrxdy
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Bed of Roses (Last Chapter - 21)
Roger Taylor x Reader
BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader
Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.
Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.
Chapter's notes: THE LAST CHAPTER. I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE. i feel like before i start my thank yous i could give you some weird trivia on the story. i wrote the entire outline for the fic at a weekend shift at work, where i always have free time. i had some smaller ideas - them meeting at a bar and not seeing again, the whole kensingon-taxi-class thing from the beginning - but there was a sudden burst of inspiration and in like twenty minutes the outline was done, and very little has changed, i mostly just added some more details. also, i imagine the reader as alicia silverstone in the 90s?? idk. i just do. also, the reader thing with new york comes from the fact that i lived there for a while and i miss it so much, so thats why theres so much detail about places and stuff - its my form of revisiting my favourite spots there. also, will (REMEMBER WHEN) was written with sebastian stan in mind, and liv tyler (in her lord of the rings days) was poppy. i did too much research for this fic on queen history, and everytime i had to change something (especially in the first act) so the dates made more sense, it KILLED ME.
anyway, now the thank yous: SHIT THIS FIC IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT CHAPTER ON MY LIFE. its my first time writing such a long story without abandoning it, and my first time writing fiction in english, so i learned so much!! i was doing some research the other day, and the great gatsby is like 47k words long, and the first harry potter is around 70k words long - bed of roses is around 60k words long. this is crazy.
it's also my first story to get this many readers interacting with me, and i'm so grateful for you all!! i thought about thanking you all by name, but i dont want anyone to feel left out so i just want every and each one of you reading these words to know: if you read my story, thank you. thank you for giving me your time of the day, thank you for connecting with what i wrote, thank you for telling me in any way possible that you've enjoyed it. thank you. a writer must write, but theres not a lot of joy in talking to an empty room. you filled my small room with warmth and love and there's not enough words to express my gratitude for you all. thank you.
about my writing: i plan on FINALLY DOING THE MANY REQUESTS I HAVE IGNORED OVER THIS FINAL ACT OF BED OF ROSES - requests are still open, too! i'm also outlining a smaller roger x reader fic where she's one of the videographers on the news of the world documentary, so keep an eye out for that! i'm gonna open a permanent taglist for the requests (and eventual new fic), so if you want to be added, hit me up in the ask box/comments/inbox!
anyway i'll finally wrap up this chapter's note cause you have the final chapter to read. enjoy my loves
Words: nearly 4k
Warnings: none??? part of their dialogue is inspired by some of my favourite movies and books like her and the wife and almost famous and before sunrise and the fault in our stars and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and maybe more I DONT KNOW ITS BEEN AN EMOTIONAL RIDE OK I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHERE DID I PULL THIS FROM EXACTLY. some errors too cause i didnt revise it completely my bad im crying ok
ACT 3 - DAWN
"It's the moment night time seems weaker and everything seems easier to figure out"
Chapter 21
Roger lit a cigarette in the train cabin, and tried to open the top window, the one you can usually pull open.
"Rog, it's not gonna open, you know", you told him as you watched him fiddling with the glass.
"I guess you're right. Hope you won't be bothered by the smoke", he said, taking a puff.
"I won't if you share it with me", you answered, and with a half smile on his lips, Roger lifted the cigarette to your lips, and you breathed in the smoke while looking at him through your lashes.
"Don't look at me like that. Especially if the cigarette smoke is going to leave the cabin sultry and hot", he told you, and you laughed.
"Yeah, and we won't do anything about it", you said, trying to make yourself more comfortable in your seat.
"And why is that?", he asked, batting his lashes innocently at you, you you lightly elbowed his ribs.
"We need to do something else, something we've been ignoring the whole trip", you said, and he raised his brow. "We need to talk about us", you told him, and he breathed out, smoke coming out of his nose.
"I guess you're right again", he said, then slid a bit down on his seat.
You didn't think much about talking about your future with Roger while in Paris, so now has to be the time, on a train that will take you to London and to a whole month of Roger being away, promoting News Of The World.
While in Paris, you never talked to Roger about the future, and talks of the past where subtle - you talked about how you felt with the development Doctor Who took over the years, but didn't think much about the fact that you were separate during years of the show.
You enjoyed the city, but most of all, you enjoyed each other's presence, not only going to museums, churches and castles around you, following them up with fancy dinners and walks along the Seine, but you also spent time inside the room, in your pajamas, ordering take out from restaurants you found on the phone book, having a hard time trying to speak french as Roger tickled the sole of your feet and kept trying to distract you.
You would always remember the peace you felt as you ate cheap chinese food on Roger's shirt on the balcony at night, the Eiffel Tower shining over your meal and Roger's electric blue eyes as he hummed early David Bowie's songs under his breath, or how at home you felt sitting on the couch, Roger on the floor with his head on your lap, his soft strands on your fingers as you tried to braid them while watching re-runs of I Dream of Jenie, Roger focused, trying to understand the french dubbing until he noticed what you were doing.
"Babe, are you trying to braid my hair? Think I'd look better if I'd look more girly?", he said, moving his head back so he can look at you.
"Yeah. Always thought so, but I'll have to keep imagining, since your hair is too short to braid", you pouted, and he laughed.
"Don't you like my new hair, then?", he asked, pouting back, and you moved your head to his level so you could press a quick kiss to his lips.
"I love it, Rog. Especially cause since it's shorter, it looks even messier after I pull it", you said, and he smirked. "My favourite look of yours is when you're all dishevelled after sex", you winked, teasing him.
"That's my favourite, too", he said, turning completely around and pulling you in for a kiss, his hand on the back of your neck.
But now, while in the smoke filled train cabin, you needed to make a few things clear.
"I've been avoiding this for a reason", he said, looking out the window, and you raised your brow, waiting for him to explain. "I have this weird, innate fear of you telling me it's all good but you don't want to see me again, or something", he said, and you gave him a half smile.
"I don't want to do this, Rog. And I won't do it", you told him, and he sighed in relief.
"Even though loving you is a bit complicated, I'll admit. Especially if you're me", you shrugged, and he turned to you, confused.
"Let me explain. I loved your idea for a bed of roses, a few days ago, cause it can exemplify our relationship so well. The roses feel so good against the skin, the smell is so intoxicating, it looks so beautiful - maybe too beautiful, ethereal, even. But then there's always a few thorns here and there, and they hurt so much when they lodge themselves on my skin, but I'm so intoxicated by the whole experience that I don't mind - I convince myself that it's nothing, and even that it's already part of me already, cause the thorns fit so perfectly on me, on my little stabs made by myself, by my own insecurities", you say, and he stares at you.
"What I'm trying to say is that every minute that I'm with you always distract me from the issues that come with being with you - the fact that there's a few expectations that come with being your serious girlfriend, be them always travelling with you while we're young, or eventually staying home once we have kids, knowing that you'll eventually cheat on me with a younger version of myself, while I'm too tired of taking care of the babies to even think about my sexual needs", you said, and you watched him frown.
"I'm not sure where you're going with this-", he started saying, but you cut him off.
"Let me finish, I promise it will get better", you said, fixing your posture as you start again. "But the thing is, I love you. I always have, ever since I started talking to you, you always trying to outflirt me, always seeing me as your equal. You desire me, but you also listen and see me as another human being, you never back down or ignore me if I challenge one of your beliefs, and you never treat me as a trophy-wife-to-be", you say, and you can feel your eyes fill with tears, but you're smiling. That's what you always loved about Roger. He smiled back at you.
"And because I love you, I don't want to deny myself the pleasure of being with you. I'd rather be in a bed of roses than in an empty bed - or worse, a blank bed, someone being there just so it's less cold at night. I want to be with you, Rog", you say, and he pulls you in for a hug, and you hold him back for a few moments before pulling away and looking at him in the eye.
"But also because I love you and I want to be with you, Rog, I don't want us to try to fit into this type of relationship I just mentioned. I don't want you to make me the other woman, either, when you eventually find someone so you can settle down, if it's not me" you said, rubbing your nose. "I guess I want to settle down with you, eventually, as we planned before, but this whole thing - living together and cheating if we're away for too long - it kills me, and I think it kills you, too. I respect you too much to want to cheat on you again, cause if I ever do and you never find out, I'll lose respect for you, and the same thing will happen if you cheat on me and I don't find out. And these are ugly truths, but this isn't our first time together; we know each other, we need to think about this", you told him, and he nodded.
"And I need to make it clear that I'll never be a simple rockstar housewife - I'll never be able to quit my job and look out for the kids while you travel the world and I make them lunch. I'll never be able to sit down on a dinner table on some award show with you and when someone asks me what I'll do, I'll smile as I say I'm a king-maker. I'm not", you said, firmly.
"And I'll never be satisfied with dumb spa and shopping trips as you do the actual work when we travel. If I have to live this life, I'll resent you, and I don't want that. I like being domestic with you, but this type of forced domesticity will poison us again - we're both too wild, too career-focused, for this. We've always been similar", you said, and he gave you a smile as you sighed. "I guess that's all I have to say", you shrugged, and he laughed. "Not much, right?", he said, running his fingers on his hair, pulling the strands back.
"Guess it's my turn now", he said, and you nodded, encouraging him. "When I saw you again, at the pub, there was so much that I wanted to say. I mostly wanted to apologize - it got lost as I got infatuated with you again, and tried to get you in bed - you know, usual stuff", he winked, and you laughed.
"But yeah, I kept looking at you while you updated me on your life, your skin glooming under the stars and the moonlight, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. Cause no matter what - even if you had decided on never seeing me again after all this - I'll always love you, because we grew up together. And you helped make me who I am", he said, moving strands of your hair behind your ear.
"I just want you to know that there will always be a piece of you in me, always. Whatever someone you become, wherever you are in the world, however this" he said, pointing his finger to the two of us "works out, in whatever form it might take", he said, sighing "I'll always send you love. Before being anything else to me - and I hope to God you're always something more - you'll always be my friend, to the end", he told you, and the tears were already streaming down your cheeks. His cheeks soon mirrored yours.
"And now, after you so eloquently told me all your fears about our future, I need you to know something else, too", he said, as you wiped the tears under your eyes. "I always loved you for being the way you are. You always challenge me, you always make me work harder, try harder, to be better. And it's not even something you force me to do; I just follow your lead. The way you look was what first got into me, I won't lie, but the way you are is what made me stay. It's what will always make me stay", he said, a genuine smile on his lips. He made you feel warm, like the sun.
"You're the smartest person I know, you're funny, you enjoy sex, you're unapologetic, you're proud of who you are, even proud of your insecurities. And you have such a huge importance in my life: you made me who I am. Whatever way you want to make us work, I trust you. I just want to be with you, in whatever form it takes", he said, smiling, and then getting up and opening his bag.
"I forgot to give you something", he said, pulling a string out of the front pocket. You recognized the red glimmer. It was the heart necklace. "It's still yours to keep. Even though it's not in its original glory, it will always be yours. The necklace and my heart", he said, and you couldn't help but smile at him.
"Always so cheesy, Taylor", you said, joking as you moved your hair to the side so he could put the necklace on.
"You always loved it", he winked, and you laughed. "I do", you said, smiling.
"So, what does it all mean? Where are we?", you asked, and he shrugged. "Wherever you want us to be. I just hope that you keep me around", he told you sincerely.
"I will. So, we're not going back to our old ways, right? We're not back at sharing a flat and stuff", you said, and he nodded. "Sure".
"And you're going to spend a month away, all around the world. I don't want you to feel pressured not to cheat", you said, and he nodded again.
"Yeah, and you're back in London, starting a new job. I don't want you to be worried, too", he said.
"So, maybe no exclusivity, this time? At least not now. This is still debatable, in the future", you said, and he agreed.
"Makes sense. But I'll have a hard time desiring anyone but you", Roger said in a low voice, and you laughed to break any mood that might have settled. You needed to get things clear before making out in the train cabin.
"Me too, Rog. But I don't want to create any expectations of loyalty because we know each other too well, and I don't want a stupid fight to break this thing we're building together", you said.
"It's a good idea. So, no titles, too? I can't call you my girlfriend?", he said, and you laughed.
"You can, if you want to", you told him, and he pulled you closer to him.
"Good, cause I want to call you that on the News of the World launch party, that I'm hoping you'll go as my date", he said, pressing a kiss on top of your head, breathing in your fruity smell.
"Of course I'll go. I need to see the boys again", you told him, and he laughed.
"So you're not going for me, then?", he pouted, and you laughed again.
"No, I'm just going so I can meet Deacy's kid", you told him, and it was his turn to laugh.
-
Once you got to London, Roger offered to go to the airport alone - he had to get on his flight, and he was late. He knew you had to go home and get ready for work tomorrow, but you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.
He looked relieved when you got on a cab with him to Heathrow.
"Big day tomorrow, huh", he said, rubbing your arm.
"Yeah, I still can't believe I'm finally going to work at the British Museum. It's so surreal, it feels like a dream. Like I'm living someone else's life", you said, looking out at the window, the early sunday morning reminding you of fresh starts - you were in the middle of one.
"Well, it's your life, and it's your job, cause you deserve it, babe. I never met someone who worked so hard to get where they want", Roger said, smiling, proud.
"I did. You and the boys", you said, and he huffed. "Guess you're right. Me and that pack of idiots, we turned out okay", he joked.
Once you got to the airport, you followed him to his gate.
You were feeling nervous - you had him for a week, and now it's time to say goodbye again.
You're both aware that the rest of the band is already waiting impatiently in the jet, but you can't help it - you hug him, dropping your luggage on the floor, and he does the same, the hug soon turning into a kiss as you rub your hands on each other's body, as if you're trying to remember how every inch of the other feels like, as if you're both about to disappear.
But the airport worker clears her throat, and you break the kiss, looking at each other longingly.
"Don't say goodbye", you beg Roger, putting your hand on his lips as he opens his mouth.
"See you soon", he says between your fingers. You smile at him, grateful he found a way with words so you're not repeating the same old goodbyes.
"See you soon, Roger", you say, hugging him again for a few seconds, just trying to capture every detail - his smell, the feeling of his arms around you, his body against yours.
And once he has to go into the jet, you go to the glass wall, and you can swear you see some familiar faces from the windows of the jet.
But before you can focus, soon Roger's well known face takes over the window you're watching, and he puts a hand on the glass.
You can't help but think about the last time you did that with him, him being on your place as you were inside the plane, moving to another country, your heart weighing down on you, filled with doubts.
But now your heart warmed you up, filled with joy and love, and you could feel Roger's crystal heart on top of your chest. He was right. There would be always a piece of him on you, too.
-
Epilogue: News of the World Launch Party
"Y/N! You're back!" Brian's voice welcomed you to the ballroom.
You squeezed Roger's hand - it was the first time you saw the band in years, and you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about it.
"Darling, you're really back! We thought Roger was getting high too often and hallucinated a week in Paris with you. But I guess you did come back to him", Freddie said, hugging you by the side as he held a glass of champagne on his other hand.
"I'm back with him only so I can see you all again, of course", you said, winking at Roger as he pretended to be offended.
But then you heard Deacy and Veronica scream your name in unison, and you turned to see them.
"So you're really back!!" Deacy said, but your eyes were on the baby boy on his lap.
"This is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.", you said, trying to get his attention. Roger looked at you, adoringly, as you moved your eyes to Veronica.
"Ronnie!! You're so big!" you said, trying to hug her through her belly. "It's coming out in a few months! It's a boy, Michael. Someone our young Rob can play with", she said, and Roger frowned.
"I could swear it was a girl", he said, and John smiled. "Maybe next time", he said.
"Hey, Bob. Do you want to play with me? C'mon", you said, and he motioned to go to your arms. You picked him up as he started playing with your hair.
"You'd be a good mom, Y/N", Veronica said, and you got tense. "God, Ronnie, don't even joke about this", you said, and Roger chuckled. "It's a sensitive topic at the moment", he explained.
"The moment will take quite some time, you know", you told him, the youngest Deacon pulling your earring before playing with the crystal heart on your neck.
You talked to the boys and Veronica for a while, updating each other, but no one brought up how you and Roger got back together. It just felt natural - no need to question.
You stayed with Roger for the whole night - behind the cameras as he did press, by his side during dinner - where he was back at his old ways, teasing you lightly with his hand under the table. You felt good in his arms, getting back into his life.
He was interested in getting back into your life, too. He came back to London last night, and went straight to dinner with you. You were trying different food, and now was time to try Indian food.
As he ate his Chicken Tikka Masala, dipping the naan in the sauce, you invited him for a party your bosses would be throwing next month to celebrate a new exhibit.
He gave you a bright smile. "I'd love to be your date, my love", he said.
And after the Deacons went home - Robert was asleep on his father's lap - the party got louder, the dance floor more full. You could swear you saw an angular face that could only belong to Bowie pick someone to dance - was this Princess Leia? - but before you could process the whole situation, Roger pulled you to dance.
"Thought you didn't dance, Mr Taylor", you told him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you tried to slow dance to All The Young Dudes, by Mott The Hoople.
"I don't dance very well, indeed. But it's just an excuse to be so close to you in public, and God, I'm dying to call you Ms Taylor", he said, and you chuckled.
"Take it slower, Rog", you told him, and he leaned in to rest his head on the curve of your neck. "And why do you want to be close to me in public? Is it still one of your weird fetishes?", you joked, and you felt him laugh against your skin.
"No, it's just that you've been killing me with this dress of yours, and you've been killing a lot of the guys here, too. Could swear I saw Bowie checking you out", he told you, and you gasped.
"Taylor, don't even joke about this. I'd have a heart attack", you said, and he laughed. "You'd leave me here for Bowie, is that it?", he asked, and you laughed.
"Of course not. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he might acknowledge my existence", you said, and it was his turn to laugh. "The only eyes I really like to feel on me when I look away are yours, Rog", you said, and he gave you a quick kiss.
"Okay, had enough of trying to dance. Let's get some fresh air", he told you, and you followed him to the balcony.
As the cold, fresh air brushed against your exposed skin, you heard the first notes to Tiny Dancer, by Elton John. You walked to the balcony, leaning in and taking in the view of London at night.
Roger soon took you into his arms, hugging you from behind, and you felt safe, his body heart making you warm in the cold evening as he jokingly whispered "Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man" into your ear, and you scoffed. "Slower, Taylor", you told him, and he laughed.
"However you want it, babe", he said, now paying attention to the view, focusing on the feeling on you in his arms again. Finally.
But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly
"I could die right now, Y/N. I'm just... happy. I've never felt this type of happiness before. I'm just exactly where I want to be", Roger said in his husky voice, and you nodded lightly in agreement.
Because in Roger's arms, you feel home. You feel what you hoped to feel for years - what got you to move to London in the first place. You feel like you belong.
---
1988 Special
Taglist:
@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos @16wiishes @jennycidesstuff @partydulce @melros-e @onevisionliz
#roger taylor x reader#roger taylor#ben hardy x reader#ben hardy#roger taylor smut#roger taylor x you#roger taylor fanfic#roger taylor fluff#ben hardy x you#ben hardy smut#ben hardy fluff#ben hardy fanfic#queen fanfic#bohemian rhapsody fanfic#borhap fanfic#bedofroses#roger taylor imagine#ben hardy imagine#queen imagines#bohemian rhapsody imagine
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wey hey, it’s a me...a madio here at long last!!! but rlly i’m mads, i’m twenty, and i’m in pst so im almost always fashionably late to things set with est time in mind. my last meal would be chicken alfredo but that feels really wrong bc i’d really love to own a chicken someday....anYWAYS moving on to the serious stuff! this intro is probably a shit show but so am i so it fits...i tried to keep it concise but who rlly knows idk pls plot with me
( NANA KOMATSU, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER, MUSE M ) did i just see CONSTANCE YAMADA touching down in italy ? rumor has it this 22 year old DIRECTOR is on their way to reunite with the brat pack.
so first thing’s first, as promised, constance has two moms!!! one of them is an actress and the other is an activist (specifically feminist and lgbtq+ rights if that matters) and they’re both extremely well-known within hollywood.
her activist mom is definitely outspoken on social issues and she taught constance to be too, so the family is definitely known for pushing buttons in hollywood if only because they voice their very strong opinions VERY loudly. she probably had a lot to do with herself and her wife being ostracized in hollywood, or otherwise branded as brats. her actress mom, however, is much more soft spoken and was once probably an america’s sweetheart type. she’s a classic beauty, an actress that had so much potential until her reputation began to dwindle. she still acts, though in much smaller projects, and appears to be happy simply maintaining a home life (spoiler alert, she’s cheating). she taught constance humility and self-love
her mothers are so loving to her and to each other that she’s definitely a big romantic, however she’s also extremely naive so i’m sure that will pose a lot of issues in terms of plots and whatnot. she literally grew up witnessing true love at all times and is so in awe of her mothers’ relationship that she strives to have something just like it
sPEAKING OF NAIVETE! constance’s mothers actually shielded her from the spotlight until she was about 15!! her parents were really nervous about putting her in the limelight because they didnt want her to have a fate similar to theirs (the blacklisting and public humiliation of being branded) so they kept her life as private and “normal” as possible. rather than having a private tutor, she simply attended private schools so that she could have a semi-normal social life. her parents were very cautious about who she spent time with, which led her to be a bit sheltered. she had lots of friends, but she was never allowed to go to their houses and they needed extensive screening before being allowed at hers, so it was easier to just keep her friendships at school. it wasn’t until she got to high school and made the choice to insert herself into the media that the world truly met constance, and she’s been basking in the hollywood glow ever since
being lonely is actually part of what ignited her passion for film. she had so much free time at home during her early years that she stumbled upon a tub of old movies, as well as the video recorder that was used to capture them. from then on, she was in love and it seemed that no one could pry that camera from her grasp. years 5-10 of her life feature many clips of her moms’ double chins and feet, the angles of a girl too small to see the rest of the world.
i like to think that the first real paparazzi pictures ever captured of her and published across the nation featured her at a rally with her moms, holding a sign and very proudly leading a chant for the right for her mothers to legally marry. she’d been photographed before, of course, but none of them never made as bold of a statement and those pictures are what truly began her entrance into the spotlight, which was extremely intense and trying.
since the world was so desperate to know the daughter of two notorious starlets, it only made sense that they would do nearly anything to obtain that first private interview with her, those first talk show appearances, anything that she had never been able to do before. it was super overwhelming and she very quickly became aware of what vultures the press are
uhhh so yeah basically constance has only really been in the “spotlight” for the last 7 years, but she became very notorious and admired very quickly since her existence had been so “””normal”””” and basically mysterious to the public until then. like her moms posted pictures on their socials, but all of her own were private until then and the media only got to know her on a surface level so it was a drastic change both for herself, but also for the world
i’d like to think her friends, THE BRATS, are what really got her through it like once she started working in hollywood and getting more film projects and running into these ppl and building connections i think constance really would have relied on them as mentors (even if theyre rlly just manipulation her...plot idea ?) and just....ppl who understood what this type of fame was like and understood how crazy this transition was. like she went from eating cereal in the living room w her moms and living her lowkey life to being on magazines and becoming the new “GIRL NEXT DOOR” of hollywood and that’s....a lot
she is a pretty notorious director now like a lot of jobs were kind of just,, handed to her once she started but she proved she had real talent so her entire reputation is something she really built herself bc her moms tried to detach themselves from her career to give her a fair chance to prove herself and her own prestige but like,,, she literally loves filming people and directing them and it’s her whole ass life like she almost always has a film camera and/or an old video camera on her person at all times so watch out for that in the morning ladies and gents she will make u a star
oh and if her career goes south she’s hella gonna go into the adult film industry she’s directing sexy time baby !
i feel like there is still so so much i could tell u all about her but i rlly hope that this sums it up nicely bc it’s getting so long and so ugly....bUT BEFORE I LEAVE I HAVE CONNECTION IDEAS AND ALSO i just wanna say i think she would be on??? pretty okay terms w the bratpack like i know she has select ones she doesnt get along w but theres probably a big part of her thats excited to be back with them and happy to be in milan meeting up with them all again so idk if that changes things but yeah my girl’s naive and loves almost everyone so pls,,plot with mE
CONNECTION IDEAS....just gonna drop some lame ones here rlly quick to maybe get us started
uhh like i said many times, constance is rlly naive, so she’d be super easy to take advantage of. this could be something that happened when she first introduced herself to the limelight, like maybe someone latched on to her bc of how excited the media was to finally know her and they sort of road her coattails, or maybe it’s smth that’s happening as adults. im down for literally any kind of manipulative plots like fake friends, using her for shit, idk just mess her up ig
i think unrequited crushes are cute and i’m sure constance has TONS just bc she’s such a romantic at heart and so eager to have a fairy tale love that i feel like there would be this one person who she’s had a crush on for years who she just...keeps going back to bc she thinks she loves them and maybe they use her to keep her around or maybe theyve been honest about their feelings and theyre trying to just be friends but things are rocky/she’s just repressing shit idk we could do a lot with this i think
i’d love it if she could just have a best friend bc like...idk i dont want her to have NO real friends u know? good vibes only for constance and ur muse man u feel
she was pretty innocent growing up since she was so sheltered so maybe ur muse smoked her out for the first time when she was 16 and now shes 420 friendly and theyre just smoke buddies or smth i cant believe shes gonna be a stoner now her whole personality i talked about up there? gone. it’s weed central now baby !
does ur muse need a tastefully directed sex tape? constance has their back im not kidding this is my plot idea ur all welcome
this is a novel so im ending it here but i will once again beg that u all come plot with me and love me and disregard these shitty connection ideas bc i KNOW we can come up with truly good ones okay love u all bye
#my gif resources are a little scarce rn so pls bare with me until i make my own#bratsintro#oh i talked about weed in this a little so possible drug tw love u guys <3
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Top 20 Things of 2018
1.) Beychella How do you make a long awaited surprise album between two of the biggest names in music that is also one of the year’s best feel like complete afterthought? Set the bar as high as Beyonce’s Coachella appearance.
First awards show performances, then music videos, now music festival gigs: is there anything that Beyonce CAN’T turn into high art?
2.) Explained by Vox The most exciting development in the world of television in 2018 was radically breaking the rules on episodes length. We saw 30 minute dramas, and hour long comedies. We got shows like Maniac where episodes were as long as 49 minutes and as short as 27 minutes. Now television creators can tell exactly the stories they want to tell in however much time they want to tell them in. And perhaps nowhere were these loosened restrictions taken better advantage than Explained, Vox’s documentary series for Netflix. Many topics cant sustain a full length documentary, but, say, 14 minutes explaining cryptocurrency to me? Sure! 17 minutes on designer DNA? Sounds great! 20 minutes on the origins of K-Pop? How do you say “yes please” in Korean? Every episode has a different narrator, a different look, a different feel, and varies wildly in subject matter. Yet they are all exactly the length they need to be. The only thing left I really need explained to me is why no one thought to make this series before.
3.) Serial Season 3 If Explained was a great example of the latest evolution in television, then the new season of Serial is at the front line of the evolution of our newest artistic medium: podcasts. Serial’s third season was nothing like its second, which was in turn nothing like its first. It’s a series still figuring out what it CAN be, while now defining forever what it NEEDS to be. Serial this year explained a deeply important topic in a way that wouldn’t have been possible through any other medium. They always say if you’re a writer you have to ask yourself what form of writing your idea needs to be. Don’t write a play that’s really a TV show, or a movie that should be a book. And now we can add to that don’t make a TV series that’s really a podcast. As Homecoming proved this year, the two mediums are very different and better equipped to tell different stories. And after hearing Serial Season Three I can’t imagine there will ever be a better way to explore the current American criminal justice system. It was 2018’s version of Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. It may not change national food safety standards, but it hopefully will do something perhaps even more important: it will make us never again take lightly the election of local judges and sheriffs. It was a podcast for the heart, the head, and the time capsule.
4.) Black Mirror - “Hang the DJ” I know this technically came out December 29th 2017 but I’m counting it here because nothing was more 2018 than this. The sadness, the isolation, the uncertainty, the living in a world you don’t understand the rules of anymore, the unfairness of modern life, but the ultimate perseverance of hope and love: it’s all there in the best episode of Black Mirror’s third season. It made me cry out of sadness and happiness in equal measure. Could anything be more 2018 than that?
5.) Kesha at the Grammys Ok so maybe one thing was more 2018.
The Grammys, an organization led by Neil Portnow, a man who said this year that “women need to step up”, and an organization that didn’t offer its one female Album of the Year nominee a solo performance spot, also offered us 2018’s most powerful show of female solidarity and one of the most moving moments of the Me Too era. It all amounted to the perfect encapsulation of this year. Kesha scream crying and then collapsing into a sea of strong supportive women WAS 2018.
6.) Eighth Grade My favorite movie of the year was also the year’s best horror movie. It was so real, and visceral, and intense, and frightening that at times I literally had to remind myself to breathe. I watched at least half the movie through my fingers and on the edge of my seat. Proving what everyone who has lived through it already knows: there’s nothing in the world more terrifying than being in junior high.
7.) Big Mouth Speaking of junior high, the other side of the pain and trauma of growing up is humor, so why it took this long for someone to make a comedy series explicitly about puberty is beyond me. I guess, of course, making a show like this work is a fine needle to thread. It wouldn’t work without being animated and being on a streaming service that lets them go as far as they did. It wouldn’t work without writing that is both laugh out loud funny and deeply compassionate and human in equal measure. And it wouldn’t work without one of the best voice casts on TV, including a true tour de force from Maya Rudolph. But work does it ever. In a just world junior high health class homework would be simply watching this show.
8.) Emma Gonzalez speech Here’s how long 2018 was: this was from 2018.
Finishing off my personal 2018 Growing Up Trifecta is the most powerful 12 minutes of the year. That high school students could be more inspiring, articulate, and better leaders than the President of the United States is sadly, at this point, a given. But that they are now more effective and efficient than him at starting genuine political movements still feels revolutionary. The kids are our future, and our future has never looked brighter.
9.) Childish Gambino - “This is America” video 100 years from now if theres only one cultural artifact that still exists and is still remembered from 2018 this will be it. A “you know where you were the first time you saw it” level cultural event. No song will ever be more closely associated with its music video, and no music video will ever be more of an avatar for an entire cultural moment than this. THIS is, of course, a truly shocking and horrifying (in a good way) music video from the former fifth lead of the TV show Community. A profound and brilliant piece of art underscored by a fun-sounding dance song. The year’s most complex and important social-political message delivered in 4 minutes via YouTube. This is America indeed.
10.) Drake - “God’s Plan” video While Donald Glover may have perfected the music video as art form, it goes without saying that long ago Drake mastered the music video as promotional tool. And in that sense the music video for “God’s Plan” seems like minor failure. It seemed to sort of come and go from the culture, especially in light of the success of the In My Feelings Challenge. But for me, there was nothing more heartwarming and human this year than watching Drake give away almost a million dollars to strangers. It was an idea so simple it’s shocking no one had ever done it before. And so affecting I was shocked it didn’t seem to penetrate the public consciousness more. There’s so much going on at all times now it’s hard for anything to truly break through all the noise, but this really deserved to. It’s impossible to watch this without smiling, and is there anything 2018 needed more than that?
11.) Nanette The dumbest debate this year was whether or not Nanette was stand up. Form and genre aren’t delineators still worth discussing in 2018. It’s now only about the message and the messenger, everything else is just details. An important fresh voice, the most timely, and sadly, timeless message imaginable, delivered in a way that reached and deeply affected seemingly every person you knew? What is there to debate? Nanette may or may not be stand up comedy, but it’s definitely RISE UP comedy. And in the end, that’s all that matters.
12.) Amber Says What Please click on the link above. The final two minutes are by far the best comedy of 2018. It still makes me laugh so hard that it causes me physical pain. You’ve been warned.
13.) A Star is Born trailers A Star is Born is maybe a perfect film. The performances, the songs, the direction, the fact that there’s literally no human being on earth who could have played her part and made the movie work like it did other than Lady Gaga. It was all perfect. But there was actually something better than watching A Star is Born: anticipating watching a A Star is Born. Before the first A Star is Born trailer came out I thought the whole project sounded dumb and unnecessary. After I finished watching the first trailer I knew I was going to see A Star is Born opening night. True story: I was at a movie where the same A Star is Born trailer got played three times in a row for some reason. And it was riveting every time. There was no grumbling at all in the audience, and I for one was sad when it didn’t replay a fourth time. So as much as I loved A Star is Born what I would really love is be able to still want to see A Star is Born for the first time.
14.) Ariana Grande - “thank u, next” It’s genuinely impressive that a song released in November could be the song I listened to by far the most this year. Somehow it took less than two months for this song to feel completely ubiquitous. Hell, even the PHRASE “thank u, next” is omnipresent now. Forget Song of the Summer, this was maybe our first Song of the Winter. Which is perfect because has a hit pop song ever sounded more winter? It’s cold, but it keeps you warm. It’s the sadness of the holidays with the life reaffirming joy of the holiday season. It’s a sweater for you to wear on the dance floor. And it’s clearly exactly the song so many of us needed. No matter how many times I’ve heard it (and as I said, I’ve listened to it, uh, A LOT) its existence feels like a holiday miracle. Having a new and fresh take on the breakup song in the year 2018? That shit IS amazing.
15.) The proposal at the Emmys This is literally the only thing anyone remembers about this year’s Emmys. It was amazing, and special, and made anyone who watched it believe in true love. But for me it still cant touch the most heart-melting awards show moment of all time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCJrku4fSxk
(Was this whole entry just an excuse to link to one of my absolute favorite YouTube clips? Perhaps.)
16.) Succession When I saw the promos for Succession I literally made the sound UGH out loud. The last thing the world needs is another show about rich white people behaving badly, I thought. How could there possibly be anything original left to say on that topic? Who on earth is still greenlighting shows like this in The Year of our Lord 2018?
People much smarter than I am clearly, that’s who.
Because from writing, acting, production design, direction - whatever element you want to focus on - this was the best and most exciting new show of 2018 by a wide margin. People have been saying for years that TV is the new movies; this show made movies look like the old TV. It was the most vibrant and perfectly crafted big budget feature film of 2018, stretched out over 8 episodes on HBO. Did it have anything new and important to say about the world? Probably not. And turns out, I couldn’t have cared less. The phrase compulsively watchable might have been invented just to describe the world these actors and writers created. I would watch the team involved with this show dry paint.
17.) Angels in America on Broadway Angels in America is the best play of the past 30 years and its not even close. So the fact that it would get a production that’s this good is just unfair for everyone else on this planet who makes theater. It was so good it made all other plays I’ve seen since seem small and cheap and unimportant. It was such a towering achievement that it has made the entire rest of theater as an art form seem insignificant by comparison. When you hear old people talk about seeing Brando in Streetcar or watching the original production of Death of Salesman I now can relate to what they are talking about. I’ll be thinking about Andrew Garfield’s final monologue for the rest of my life. It was unfair that we the audience had to all leave the theater when the lights finally came up and that we couldn’t all just live in that feeling forever. The eight hours I spent watching this play are what art is all about.
18.) Jesse Plemons in Game Night If dying is easy, and comedy is hard, then they should cancel the Oscars and give Jesse Plemmons Best Supporting Actor right now for his work in Game Night. And ok, maybe it wasn’t the BEST performance of 2018, but it was DEFINITELY the best performance relative to what it needed to be. It should have been a dumb throwaway part in a big-budget mainstream ensemble comedy. But Jesse Plemmons crafted a performance so strange and singular and memorable that it elevated the entire movie into something way better than I’m sure even its creators expected. I legitimately don’t know how everyone didn’t break in every one of his scenes. It’s a master class in the comedic power of silence. It should be studied in acting classes everywhere. And 20 years from now when Game Night is considered a comedy classic, Jesse Plemmons will be the main reason why. You heard it here first.
19.) The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships Saxophones? Electric guitar solos? Backing choirs? A concept album about being uncomfortable with the internet? Dumb pretentious song titles? This album couldn’t be any more in my wheelhouse if I made it myself. Its best song is basically a modern reimagining of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” for God’s sake!
For me this wasn’t just an album, it was an experience. It was big music to get lost inside of. And I did. At age 36 it’s nice to know that sometimes I can still feel 16. And it’s fitting that a band named The 1975 would be the ones to make music that’s so transporting.
20.) Emma Stone Ok so as someone who once argued in this very space that Emma Stone deserved an Oscar nomination for Easy A, it’s clear I’m pretty deep in the tank for Emma Stone. But even an Emma Stone hater would have to admit than this was a banner year for Emma Stone. Signing up for the insane acting challenge that was Maniac and completely acing it while totally exposing two-time Oscar nominee Jonah Hill in the process? Going toe to toe with Olivia Colman in the battle of the best acting performances of the year in The Favourite? Coming across as more charming than Jennifer freaking Lawrence ?!?
2018 was Emma Stone’s year, we were all just living in it.
#this is america#drake#emma stone#the 1975#eighth grade#a star is born#beychella#nanette#jesse plemmons#succession#thank u next#angels in america#big mouth#serial
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get to know me tag!
tagged by @literalite (thank u lamer clone!) n im not tagging anyone bc.............. every1 i think i know has already been tagged so thats calm, there r 125 questions below!
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Pat[REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]
2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? pat
3. BIRTHDAY? 23rd of nov!!!!! <3 (2001)
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? hmhmhnnnn,,,,, lotr, the hobbit, harry potter, anything from the grishaverse,,, idk man i like books a lot,,, the raven cycle,,, hnmgmg,,
5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? aliens 100% i believe in them! ghosts? i mean... i half kind of do half dont but my kind of ghost aint the same as the usual idea of a ghost yanno? mine r nicer <3
6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? leigh bardugo, tolkien, i would say j.k rowling but shes trash! her books r good tho ://
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? ??? idk so im gon pretend this means podcast and in that case im listening to the black tapes rn!
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? matcha or strawberry!!!!!!
9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? thats swag (i began using it ironically but now i cant stop)
10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? uhhh eve or the wonderful world by mark joshua! orrr shiloh by little chief!!
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? grinned
12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? walking back to georgia by jim croce
13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? honestly.... drop dead diva... im sorry.... but tbh i dont watch tv all that often!! ACTUALLUY HECK i would def recommend merlin the bbc tv series and ofc sherlock the tv series but keep in mind both those recs will rip out your heart MULTIPLE times,
14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? .......... im down all the time lolol but tbh all the harry potter films + the 1st fantastic beasts movie, all the lotr films and all the hobbit films AND sherlock both the rdj and jude law films and then the bbc sherlock christmas special the abominable bride
15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yah! my all time favourite game is tes oblivion!! it has been my fav since i was 6!
16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? my life not working out the way i want to!! i want my life to be happy and long and spent with the people i love and not having 2 worry abt money or health!!!
17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i think maybe my ability to find everything funny??
18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my temper is beyond vicious honestly like im not kidding my temper is.... disgusting
19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? birds
20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? winter
21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah!
22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? im still a kid im only 17!!! and uh,, i miss the innocence!! i miss being oblivious!!
23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i dont have one!
24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? brownn w/ a bit of green!
25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? dark brown!
26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my parents and my family!
27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? jude law, sebastian stan, emma stone
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? back to school shopping!! also i get to eat fried chicken and cheesecake tonight because even tho my birthday was yesterday im celebrating it today!!!!
30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? stationery??? video games?? FOOD??
31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? jane and the dragon!
32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i dont know what a male is sorry
33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? a baby bit only
34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? n’aw i dont think so!
35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? i mean... if i weren’t as ugly as i am id love to be in front of a camera doing fun acting stuff or whatnot! but bc i am ugly im usually behind the camera + i do film at school!
36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? lettering/calligraphy!
37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? what if its us by becky abertalli + adam silvera (its so cute but the ending was.... not satisfactory...)
38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? fantastic beasts the crimes of grindelwald!!!
39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? used 2 play piano, accordion, and violin! but i dont do tht anymore!
40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? bird!!
41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? too many 2 pick from !!! im srry!
42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? gdgs all of them!!!!! maybe the power to warp reality bc i could do anything then?? a reality where im married to jude law or emma stone? done, a reality where i have all the powers in the world? done
43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? a cliff somewhere where its cold and the water is vicious underneath!
44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? babies, animals, happy couples, pregnant people, old people, a lot of things really!
45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i used 2 do karate but now i dont do sports!
46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? idfsng idk! strawberry milkshake maybe?? matcha boba??? milk!!
47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? last week!!! i love handwriting!
48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah!
49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? ppl who r rude for no reason and also ppl at school who just pick on other ppl for no reason looking at you rahni teagan and the other f*ckheads!!! hope u die literally i know thats a horrible thing to say but you all deserve it
50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? i went to two twenty one pilot concerts!! the first one was in the forum in melbourne and then the other one was a few years or one year later and it was in a sold out stadium!! both were in the mosh! and then idk if this counts as a concert but i went to and did the meet and greet for dan and phil’s first tour! i dont like them anymore tho ! ://
51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? no way in HELL!!!!
52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a lot of things!!! famous actress, spy, war general, prime minister, pro wrestler, explorer, cartographer, filmmaker, architect, interior designer, dragon, PIRATE
53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i know this is a bad idea but honestly the harry potter universe PROVIDED i had magic!! bc like,,, yah
54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? a lot of things! my future mainly lol :(
55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? no but i gotta say sometimes in the middle of the night when i wake up and the undefined shape my clothes sitting on my desk chair looks like That i get a bit worried yanno it looks like a demon im not gonna lie
56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? ya but i dont htink im any good at it!
57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? only due to sickness, funerals, or holidays!
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? my house! OR the cliffs of moher :o)
59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? in some old old old european castle in the middle of nowhere on a mountain and next to the sea
60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nuu :( but i do feed a lot of birds that come to my house and ive named them and love them even if the lorikeets dont love me back which is fine!!!! :(
61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? early bird i guess
62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets??
63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? yes! but i dont have my full lisence only my learner’s permit!!
64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones (noise cancelling!!)
65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yup!! they were green!!
66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? soft rock, indie folk, indie-everything mainly except for indie-rock,,, country music dont hate my i love country music as long as its certain country music!! aint having none of this keith urban rubbish in my house!! we only listen 2 the james taylor brand of country music in this house!!! so i guess country folk. folk music in general is my jam!!! i love ballads as well and ofc blues!! theres so many more jbdsgjbas but i cant possibly list all of it!!!
67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? the idea of me living out the future i want if that makes sense!
68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yah!!
69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? a lot of things honestly!!!! 2 many to list im really passionate!
70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book but i read more on electronic devices bc its easy and i dont have to worry about lights !!
71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? idk!!!!!!!! maybe history!
72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? nup!! im an only child thanK GOD
73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? movie tickets to crimes against grindelwald last night!!
74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? i think im like 176cm??
75. CAN YOU COOK? only if i have a recipe! but i can make really good drinks (non alcoholic ofc!!)
76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? rainy weather, good literature, my family
77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? hubris, wrath, pococurantism
78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? female
79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? ?????????? who knows
80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? australia!!
81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my group chat
82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? my birthday yesterday lol
83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? dont want youtube tht much anymore tbh
84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? nah
85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? procreate
86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? incredibly close with both parents but fight with my dad like cats n dogs
87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? irish or strong strong american or posh english also scottish
88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? israel, republic of ireland, and so many more places like nksgskbgs i cant list them also all the nordic countries
89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3
90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no
91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? nah
92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? both!!!!!!
93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? daring in terms of i like to do things that could potentially kill me for the adrenaline rush but not daring in terms of introducing myself to other ppl lol
94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nah thank GOD
95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? oui
96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? non
97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? ill happily admit i’m wrong provided the other person wasnt a douchebag about it but even then ill admit im wrong! aint no shame in recognising ur wrong ma dude
98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? dont like the beach but i love the sea?? so forest i guess bc i dont like sand
99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? "two things stand like stone, kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own” - adam lindsay gordon
100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? an excellent one, but i dislike lying and value honesty so!!
101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? ssssss slytherin!
102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? ya
103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? cop out answer here but it depends on the situation
104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yes
105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends
106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? try and find the owner and track em down but if i cant ill hand it in to the place where it was lost
107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? yes
108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? yes
109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes
110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? ears but theyre closed up!!
111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? thorin oakenshield
112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? nah
113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? ? idk man
114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? no, too many bad people are living good lives right now
115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nope! perfect vision here my dude!
116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? in the future i want 1 child only
117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my little cousin
118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? a Lot
119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? a few times only, but i value sleep
120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black and green
121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? hell ya !
122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? audience member for the xfactor!
123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17
124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “so comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.” -tolkien OR “always seek the giant.”
125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savoury
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