#me when i'm mentally ill

[lastofgallifrey]

twelve spending 4.5 billion years punching through a 20ft thick wall of azbantium, a material apparently 400x harder than diamond, dying repeatedly in the process, all so he could get clara back... like whether you see them as platonic or romantic you cannot deny that he quite literally loved her to death

[joowee-feftynn]

the fact I've already seen most things in the pink diamond tag is crazy

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[lotus-pear]

dazai stop rizzing up the enemy challenge go!!

[mroddmod]

"everybody loved contractors."

"nice."

[rocketbirdie]

it would have been less gay if they'd kissed

[superfruitland]

|| masterpost || previous || next ||

yeah i wasn't kidding about the new update schedule, lol.

but finally, we get to go get into the meat of this story i've been looking forward to for so long! oh but i don't know where to even begin-- oh? what's this? a poll?

you have one week to choose what - or, rather, who you'd like to get to know better first~

[necrotic-nephilim]

jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.

even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.

so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.

and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.

[softpine]

can you please, please relate? i’m not holding up

[transcript]

[lastofgallifrey]

[asairayn]

anyone else constantly searching for disability-focused fanfics?

WELL I MADE A GOOGLE DOC!

Over a hundred fanfics centered on disability (physical, IDD, mental illness, neurodivergence, and more!)! All in one place! Titles, authors, link, and summary all written out - you don't have to click on them to see the summary! Sorted by fandom! Almost 30 different fandoms! Over a hundred fics! Constantly being updated whenever I find more!

As someone who is physically disabled, I spend a lot of time searching for fics centered on disability. They tend to be very difficult to find, only from a few fandoms, and often... not great representation. So, finally, I decided to make a list of them!

The majority are about physical disability. I've done my best to find any focused on intellectual and developmental disability, but there aren't many of those because there just aren't very many of them. There's also quite a few focused on neurodivergence and mental illness, and those are highlighted in light blue. My personal favorites are highlighted in light purple and marked with a star emoji.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME MORE! I am constantly looking for more fics centered on disability! I will take any fandom!

[lotus-pear]

what is childe doing in bungou gay dogs😟

[glitter-stained]

I'm not saying making tentatodd sexy (as in like, a crossover between a mermaid and glossy black octopus-y tentacle porn monster) would have fixed Nightwing Brothers in Blood... but it would have made it much better

[illiana-mystery]

🕺🕺

[blitzwhore]

It's always fun experiencing severe mental illness symptoms because of fiction, eh?

[shithowdy]

realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.

... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.