#me when i'm mentally ill

[lastofgallifrey]

twelve spending 4.5 billion years punching through a 20ft thick wall of azbantium, a material apparently 400x harder than diamond, dying repeatedly in the process, all so he could get clara back... like whether you see them as platonic or romantic you cannot deny that he quite literally loved her to death

[joowee-feftynn]

the fact I've already seen most things in the pink diamond tag is crazy

[remcadll]

Thinking about outsiders 2003 #44-46 again. And just outsiders 2003 in general. Also this post happy pride month

Specifically had this panel in mind, look at them hanging out and displaying terrible trigger discipline <3 Jason is a reliable source :)

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[shortbcofkoffee]

*gives Tim all of my mental and physical illnesses because it's midnight and I'm bored*

The second one is lowkey nsfw by the by.

-

Tim, eating breakfast with the family when all of a sudden his ribs decide to feel like they're folding in on themselves:

Tim: Damn, I really gotta kms

Bruce, not looking up from his morning paper: Your therapist said not to say that.

Tim: Damn, I really gotta... eat.... cookies?

Bruce: *Approving hmm*

Dick: Someone in this family goes to therapy?

-

Tim's body deciding to simultaneously cramp and set itself on fire mid getting his back blown out:

Tim, reaching behind him: Shit, stop, pull out...

Bernard: OhmyGod, sorry, are you okay?

Tim: I'll live, just let me...

Tim: *lies face down on a pillow.*

Tim: Roll me over if I run out of oxygen.

Bernard: Okay :(

Bernard: I'm sorry :(

Tim: I'm okay, Bear, promise. Could you just like, grab painkillers and stuff?

Bernard: And heating pad, and snacks?

Tim: Yes. I love you

-

Tim, staring at the suspiciously ballerina-shaped figure that keeps whispering to him and changing:

Tim: Yo, chat, you seeing this?

Damian, glancing in his direction: Hm. No.

Tim, who just needed confirmation he was hallucinating: Cool, thanks.

-

Tim, still sitting at the batcomputer after 6 uninterrupted hours: Man, I'm hungry...

Jason: Eat then.

Tim: Nah, I'm good, I haven't earned it yet.

Jason: Fym earned it? If you're hungry, go eat.

Tim: No, it's cool, I haven't even gotten the shakes yet.

Jason: THE SHAKES?? GO EAT!

Tim: No, it's cool, I don't even have a headache yet.

Jason: TIM!

Tim: No, it's cool, I'm not even hungry anymore.

Jason: GO FEED YOURSELF.

-

Tim, through comms, on patrol: I'm gonna head over to Main Street real quick.

Babs: What? Why? That's not on your route tonight.

Tim: Yeah, but if I don't my head will explode and my whole family will die.

Babs: I see... Well, tell Bruce hi if you run into him.

-

Tim: I'm glad my addiction genes went to caffine instead of alcohol, I could've been fucked up.

Jason: Real.

Bruce: Are you both prone to addiction?? And you didn't tell me?? :((

Tim, with a full-size fridge full of energy drinks in his room:

Tim: You didn't know?

-

[wildcatblues]

[vaguely-concerned]

I really really like that lucanis reaches the 'there must be some way through this' realization 'off camera', so to speak, while presumably looking at rook explaining the situation to spite. it just. hits right. he gets that moment to himself after 'this place is a nightmare, why would I want to stay here' to come back into focus, to gather himself and think it through in peace, outside of the demands of anyone’s gaze (including the player’s!), while rook takes care of spite’s confusion and urgency and distress as he can’t himself in this shattered state. they're inside his soul, but he still gets that moment of privacy, with rook and spite there and supporting but not intruding. idk there's just something so good and right-feeling about it. rook's presence in lucanis' mind at its most vulnerable and frozen could have felt SO invasive if the quest wasn't written as skillfully as it is, and I get skeeved out by that kind of thing incredibly easily so it's a testament to how well it's done that it always feels safe and supportive. lucanis has had both his bodily and psychological (slash spiritual/existential) integrity and autonomy violated so brutally and repeatedly, and having even the way the camera perceives him here grant him the dignity and respect and privacy of soul he hasn’t experienced in a long time… it’s a whole thing huh. No wonder it’s taken me a while to put it into words lol 

(also what a contrast to what solas and rook have got going on, and what a sly way to slide the point of comparison in there to build to the thematic whole. the solas version of this IS of course wildly invasive and skeeves me out but in the intended delighted horror movie way. solas, too, was let into someone’s soul through the cracks in the wake of a traumatic event, and he IMMEDIATELY sought to turn it to his own benefit and use that trauma as a weapon against them fhdsja I’m sorry but it’s just such a character-revealing instinct for him to act on without hesitation and I love how terrible he is, it’s all so unforgivably premeditated and consistent.

rook acting out of the desire to make sure lucanis is ok vs. solas going ‘well. When life gives you oops killed my friend, make dead friend poisoned lemonade and make his loved ones drink it. this sunk cost fallacy isn’t going to perpetuate itself’ is such a neat contrast and it’s not in your face about it but it’s still there, deep and solid down in the thematic narrative. rook doesn’t do anything to or in lucanis’ mind, really — they negotiate their way through the layers of defense and are let through, and they help him make the whole thing more explicable, but they never exert any force or go rooting around for anything that doesn’t present itself to them first. solas goes about gathering ammo for when he's going to nothing personel kid this person from like the first moment fhdskh doesn't waste a second before he's on that gaslight gatekeep girlboss grind. the fact that the game goes out of its way to show there IS a respectful, non-selfish and kind version of this process makes what solas is doing even more deliciously awful (glee) and rook and lucanis’ relationship (platonic, romantic, whatever it might be in any given playthrough) all the more moving to me)

[lotus-pear]

dazai stop rizzing up the enemy challenge go!!

[lastofgallifrey]

[mroddmod]

"everybody loved contractors."

"nice."

[rocketbirdie]

it would have been less gay if they'd kissed

[milkywayes]

It's been a while since I last plugged my print shop and ko-fi tipjar, and my follower count has doubled since then, so for everyone who's new here:

Hi! Thank you for wanting to keep up with my art, it means a lot! If you've ever wanted to support me beyond likes and reblogs, the print shop offers a variety of sizes and options and I can always add a print you'd like that's missing from the lineup (just shoot me a message!) Or leave me a tip on ko-fi if you want to make my day :)

I'm a small fry as far as tumblr art blogs go, and I don’t have it in me to spend my art time chasing trends and drawing for more popular fandoms that aren't my one true love, Mass Effect. Any small gesture of support means the world <3

[asairayn]

anyone else constantly searching for disability-focused fanfics?

WELL I MADE A GOOGLE DOC!

Over a hundred fanfics centered on disability (physical, IDD, mental illness, neurodivergence, and more!)! All in one place! Titles, authors, link, and summary all written out - you don't have to click on them to see the summary! Sorted by fandom! Almost 30 different fandoms! Over a hundred fics! Constantly being updated whenever I find more!

As someone who is physically disabled, I spend a lot of time searching for fics centered on disability. They tend to be very difficult to find, only from a few fandoms, and often... not great representation. So, finally, I decided to make a list of them!

The majority are about physical disability. I've done my best to find any focused on intellectual and developmental disability, but there aren't many of those because there just aren't very many of them. There's also quite a few focused on neurodivergence and mental illness, and those are highlighted in light blue. My personal favorites are highlighted in light purple and marked with a star emoji.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME MORE! I am constantly looking for more fics centered on disability! I will take any fandom!

[fitzrove]

I think one reason I like Elisabeth (and not most other stories about mental illness) is that it's pretty unique in framing it as a social and political problem. In the show, Elisabeth doesn't have depression and an eating disorder because she's a quirky rich woman, she has them because due to her circumstances, she's kept from doing the things that would make her happiest, and any political influence she has hangs upon an obsessive level of care put towards her physical appearance. Rudolf doesn't have depression/bipolar/etc [pick something] because he's unhinged and crazy (tm), he has them because he's forced to watch everything he thinks is good about the European political order wither and die.

I find that a lot more empowering than 'aww baby you can always go to therapy and feel better' (like in dear ev*n h*nsen and most teens' shows etc.). Because ultimately, I do think mental health is a social and political problem more so than a biological one, and "mental illness" as a categorisation (to designate abnormality, and importantly, inability to fit in to societal expectations of a productive worker...) is inherently political.

[superfruitland]

|| masterpost || previous || next ||

yeah i wasn't kidding about the new update schedule, lol.

but finally, we get to go get into the meat of this story i've been looking forward to for so long! oh but i don't know where to even begin-- oh? what's this? a poll?

you have one week to choose what - or, rather, who you'd like to get to know better first~

[necrotic-nephilim]

jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.

even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.

so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.

and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.